#trapped in the backrooms tho

[ena-the-eepy]

NEWS FLASH‼️Friede isn’t dead he’s just in the backrooms

@zaza-dna you were right but how are we gonna get him out😭😭

[devotedfem]

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BTS SERIES

The chasing, series masterlist.

Where you're the one chasing them or being chased by them. Now choose, because they already did.

Otherworldly, series masterlist.

Ethereal and otherworldly beings obsessing over you.

Final girl, series masterlist.

Where you're the final girl escaping from the slashers of a classic horror film, but the twist is that they don't want to kill you at all.

Hush, series masterlist. Inspired by Tim Burton films, you're the love interest of these eccentric men.

Isn't a threat a promise? Where you're an assassin hired to finish the mysterious and poweful gang of seven eccentric men, but you're oblivious of how unpunishable and untouchable they were.

The backrooms You find yourself trapped in the backrooms, and you must get through each level to survive, but be careful of the beings lurking in them because they might grow a twisted interest in you.

SPECIAL CONTENT

Set me free - P. Jimin (coming soon).

The wolf and the lamb - J. Jungkook

Hills have eyes - Taekook x reader

[inkyquince]

Degrees of Lewdity Masterlist

Avery The Businessperson

Revenge (Getting Revenge against Avery for dumping you)

Clingy (Avery becoming clingy)

New Stepdad- (Avery as a stepdad)

Avery's Bitch (Picking out his new dog!reader; Hijacked Post)

Welcome to Avery's Hunt For His Next Sugar Baby (Picking out his sugar baby; Hijacked Post)

Bailey The Caretaker

Simmering- (Lazy Sex with Bailey)

Bailey Black and Blues (Blood play with Bailey)

Things That Go Bump In The Night (Somnophilia with Bailey)

Daddy Dearest (Bailey somnophilia and incest)

Briar The Brothel Owner

Briar, You Dick (PC gets assaulted and Briar fixes their makeup)

His Rings (Briar Hand Kink)

Eden The Hunter

Trapped- (PC caught in Eden’s Snare)

Withered White Roses In The Attic (Classmate! Eden being worse than usual)

Innocent Crush (Eden struggling with a crush on male!reader)

Bitching an Alpha (Eden the alpha bitches a fellow alpha)

Harper The Doctor

Doctor, Doctor, I... I forgot what I'm here for. (Harper hypnotizing and conditioning PC)

The Nasty Next Door (Harper as the Town Yandere)

The Doctor's Needs (Harper being a worse doctor more than ever)

Horny Harper the Hypnotist (Hijacked Post)

New Year's Kiss With Harper

Harper creeping on Hermaphrodite Reader Letter

Kylar The Loner

Peeking Pervert- (Kylar tries to rescue his notebook, just to get an eyeful of his worst nightmare, featuring Whitney.)

Chemist Kylar

Kylar's New Job (Kylar the masseuse)

Kylar Sexting

Kylar Stalker Letter- (Kylar being a nasty)

Kylar Creepy Omegaverse Letter- (Thirsting after Beta Reader)

Landry The Criminal

The Backrooms- (Landry x F!PC)

Leighton The Headteacher

Leighton’s Favourite Videos- (What he loves to watch)

Leighton Thoughts- (Headcannons for Boy toy Leighton)

Dilf Leighton Saga: (The Nanny, Breeding The Nanny)

Maid Service (Leighton finds his new favourite service)

Leighton Sexting

Head boy Leighton (the beginning)

Head boy Leighton and his pet

Introducing Head boy Leighton to your Parents(and the consequences)

Mason The Swim Teacher

The Itch- (Mason Chikan)

Scumbag Mason Thoughts

Prison Guards

Prison Guard Punishment- (Short thing about guards using you)

Method's Weakness (Get Caught riding methodical guard)

Quinn The Mayor

... Quinn tho (THANKS BESTOAN, NOW THAT'S A LAD I'D CLIMB)

Quinn thought- (Based off of bestoan's picture!)

General Quinn Thirst

Remy The Farmer

Liberties- (Remy taking liberties with Wren’s Partner)

Dearest Step-Daddy (Remy adopting PC as revenge)

Remy's Journal (Remy x Cowboy!PC)

River the Maths Teacher

The Pup's Revenge (Dog boy! Reader revenge on River)

Whitney The Bully

Whitney’s Oral Fixation (General Thoughts)

Whitney’s Punishment (Whitney punishing the reader for working at the brothel) 

Tattoo Artist Whitney

Sloppy Sunday (Whitney wakes up with you in his bed)

Jock Whitney- (Jock Whitney thoughts with outcast/cheerleader reader)

You are what you smoke… Fag (Whitney struggling with gay feelings)

Wren The Smuggler

Wren the Terrible Roommate

Wren’s Unionizing Perks (Wren getting to fuck the boss' spouse)

[lilirulu]

This is probably a "DE didn't think about the implications of this" but there is a conversation with Amir about one of Drifter's high scores getting close to his and Drifter can respond that they don't remember and maybe it was another loop but like...that's not how time travel works. The high score should have reset then??? Or whatever Drifter has done to Hollvania is more then just Time Travel? Pure Headcanon and Speculations Below

What if Hollvania, the entire city/nation state, is basically like a mix of Duviri and the Zariman??? Like, the Zariman is a bunch of different possibilities for the ship all mashed together (which allowed to serve as a bridge between Duviri and the Origin system) but what if it was also in a Time Loop/Bubble. Just stack the Drifter's traumas on top of each other y'know. So, Drifter from a different loop could get a high score on the machine while Drifter from current timeline didn't. Actually, wait, it'd also make sense w/ Eleanor's lines about Arthur's sword holes too because (eternalism) in another timeline Drifter did romance Arthur and he left sword holes in the Backroom (gdi Arthur you've ruined the Drifter's floors across all possible timelines!!!). It does make the chances of the Hex escaping the (content island) Hollvania seem bleak if that's the case. But, who knows, maybe it's possible that Drifter is actually the only one "trapped" in the bubble (as of now) and after the clock strikes midnight on the year of 1999 the Hex persist but Drifter disappears and from their perspective (and because they can take their memories with them) everyone time travelled with them (even tho they were already in the Mall they got a shot of eternalism injected memories). Does mean there are some really sad Hex members who's Drifter is just fucking gone tho. But, like, at least they're outside of the island and, also, presumably immortal protoframes so who knows they could meet again in the far far far far far far future and have a sloppy makeout session then. Or I'm over thinking things the devs never even considered.

[jeweledstone]

The Labyrinth-verse aka In which my Peppino plush goes through a several dream long character arc that has a lotta bizarre and kinda disturbing implications

DATE(S) FORGOTTEN

Okay, for context, here’s a pic of the boi, he exists, I bought him off of Fangamer a few whiles back, look at him.

He didn’t have the ribbon on his hat during the events of these dreams tho, that’s a more recent edition.

Now onto the dreams and stuff.

This…”series” takes place over 4 or 5 different dreams and takes place in a universe I’ve come to call “The Labyrinthverse”, named after a backrooms like area that was in said verse called The Labyrinth. There were many entrances to The Labyrinth hidden in multiple locations around that specific part of the universe I was in, the first of which was found in a fancy restaurant I went to with my dad in the first dream (which was the only Labyrinth dream that didn’t have Pep in it, mostly cause I didn’t have him yet at that time.)

The Labyrinth itself was made up of many levels full of these zombie-like people who would try to attack you if they found you, with said zombies becoming more dangerous the deeper in you got. Luckily, you could also find various weapons and resources in The Labyrinth that could help you survive, and maybe even escape.

For some reason a lotta people in that verse would actively seek out the entrances to it for reasons I still am not sure of. Maybe they believe some sort of treasure or reward laid in its depths, or perhaps they just did it for the thrill of it all.

Anyway, going back to the plot summary bullshit. A few months or something after this first dream when my Peppino plush was still new to my plushie hoard (as well as the whole traveling with me to other universes via my dreams thing, which he was at first a little reluctant towards but soon warmed up to). This was when I found another entrance to The Labyrinth inside a dying mall. I remember Pep being extremely anxious about being in The Labyrinth and wanting to leave as soon as possible. I remember there were these unreasonably complex puzzles that were blocking our only way out and having to use my reality warping powers to solve them. (Would’ve taken hours to finish them the “vanilla” way and ain’t nobody got time for that)

It was around then when we encountered these two women who turned out to be the kinda-sorta “final bosses” of the Labyrinth who basically controlled the entire place. I guess something about me “solving” the puzzle so quickly got there attention, cause usually you can only find the controllers at the very depths of the Labyrinth, which looks like a combination of a theatre and Hell itself.

And to make a long story short, this ritual of sorts ended up happening that created these fucked up clones of me and my Peppino plush called Bent!Neo and Bent!Peppino who ended up becoming the new “rulers” of The Labyrinth.

Idk why or what my reasoning it was for it, but for the rest of the Labyrinth Arc my goal was basically to find my way back to the very bottom of the Labyrinth and kill Bent!Neo. I think it was cause I thought doing that would destroy the Labyrinth, thus freeing anyone trapped in it but I’m not quite sure.

I remember that a few dreams later in the series, my Peppino plush’s soul ended up getting “stuck” inside the Labyrinthverse and I ended up having to go back to sleep to retrieve him. During this dream, Bent!Peppino started helping me behind Bent!Neo’s back, telling me where my Pepp was and helping me find him so he could “go home” so to speak. The reason for this was because while the Bent versions of us were in control of the Labyrinth, Bent!Pepp began to remember things.

Things that definitely weren’t from the Pizza Tower verse.

Things… from a past life in the verse The Labyrinth is in.

Turns out that (according to the dreams I had) before my Peppino plush existed, his… soul? Consciousness? Existed as the spirit of this guy who lived in the Labyrinthverse and ended up dying and eventually “possessing” the plush, thus giving Pepp sentience. Apparently the reason Bent!Pepp was able to learn this before the regular Pepp did was because his former self’s SON, named Benny ended up in the Labyrinth, where I guess they somehow crossed paths, thus causing him to remember his past life.

Bent!Peppino insisted on helping me defeat Bent!Neo as long as I promised to help my Peppino remember who he used to be and also make sure Benny would make it out of the Labyrinth alive.

It all reached a climax when I ended up teaming up with Benny and basically defeating Bent!Neo once and for all. Because of this, the Labyrinth was put into a dormant state of sorts, regular Peppino finally remembers his past life, and blah blah blah happy ending, you get it. For some reason, even though Bent!Neo and the Labyrinth were gone, Bent!Peppino was still around, and ended up deciding to stay in that verse with his kid.

For a while, that seemed to be the end of The Labyrinth arc and my journeys in it, until a more recent dream where I ended up back in that verse. Turned out, Bent!Neo wasn’t completely destroyed in that final battle, but instead was now left as an unstable blob of sorts, hellbent on getting their revenge against me. Luckily for me, I haven’t seen anything of him or that verse since then, so I guess that’s all she wrote so to speak.

But yeah, that’s all I have to say. I procrastinated on finishing the draft of this post WAY TOO HARD so it’s now been months since this arc of my dreams has ended. Hopefully y’all still enjoyed it nonetheless! :)

I have a bit more dream lore stuff to catch y’all up on, so be sure to stay tuned for more of this in the future if you enjoyed this little rambling

[sodabitez]

Double Decker Dart Trap (ref to a Sipho Terraria video if anyone happens to watch him)

Erm

Honestly wasn't super proud of the pose but the coloring was really pretty

I've been feeling poorly recently, anemia and not eating properly for the win /sarcasm

Lil guy tho

Lil dude

Backrooms

Pony

Yep

[chinchillasinunison]

I had a dream last night that I went to Japan for a school trip (I graduated two years ago) but it was to this weird hotel that like a lot of buildings in dreams was just kinda funhouse hodgepodge of weird rooms to walk through. It started with me watching a movie with @good-beans (didn't go to college with me) in the theater (the hotel had a theater) and I wasn't vibing with it so I left to go back to my room. There were probably a lot of wacky rooms that I don't remember but there's one bit near the end that I do. There was a bosozoku meeting going on in a room made to look like a garage. And these were original bosozoku like gruff-looking old guys in approximations of their old tokkō-fuku (jumpsuit style instead of school uniforms) and right next to it was this other room that had a bunch of bikes in it and this weird machine that I could best describe as like a dozen treadmills arranged in a circle formation that they could ride up to and ride their bikes on the simulate driving??? I should mention that this was sorta set up like a museum or indoor zoo exhibit where the set was split like a dollhouse and I was on a path beside it to view which made the whole thing feel weirdly exploitative. they could freely leave tho I saw one guy climbing back into the exhibit after a bathroom break so it was more like they just had a really weird job than being genuinely trapped. anyways I climbed the stairs and in the middle of the flight there was a niche decorated as what I can only describe as a Mondo shrine. I wanted to take a picture of it for you guys but my phone had no service (which shouldn't effect your ability to take pictures but y'know. dream.) so I tried to ask other people touring this weird exhibit to take a picture of it and email it to me later but they all were really weird and shitty about it. So in disappointment I climbed to the next floor, which was like a really packed furniture store but without any prices. Just a bunch of armchairs and tables and things with barely any room to move around. Very backrooms. Unusually (I noted even in the dream itself), nearly half of it was cat trees. I remember thinking in the dream that the Mondo shrine was kinda a cute transition between these two ideas (bosozoku to furniture, which y'know is what carpenters make with a lot of stuff for the cute fluffy animals he secretly likes). And then I woke up.

[zizzy-rie]

Hello! Hope tour month is fine to you. I'd like to ask, is Rock Monkiea your AU, or are you just drawing art for it? Where can I find the source of the AU? And I'd like to ask, when did Macaque in the AU began to mellow out and forgive SWK in it? How did they retrieve their child and when? Drink water and eat fruits!

Halluuu!! Hope you're doing fine as well :3

Okay to answer your questions,

I am not the creator of the AU though I do add some ideas here and there. I mainly draw art for it. @bog-in-a-well / @bogswell-kampilan is the creator, a friend of mine. (Hi bog I have tagged you on this incase there's smth you wanna add)

The creator has written drabbles for the AU but they haven't posted them so I am currently the uhh source of the AU. The ideas and plot are mainly shared in our private socials and I don't have any permission to share the written fics so they'll be in the backrooms for awhile.

Hhhmm I can't say for sure when exactly in the AU but will probably be after LBD's defeat (Yes LBD will still be an important character/antagonist in the AU).

Hhmm if you mean how they got Qiuyue back or saved them from the people who imprisoned them inside a jar, they didn't actually, another character did- Gibbon. Gibbon (Bare-Armed Gibbon) is one of their friends (we're still unsure if she's gonna be part of the sworn brotherhood, though she's already their friend even before it was formed). After saving and getting Qiuyue out of the jar they were trapped in, she's basically the one who raised them into their adulthood. Qiuyue had no memories of Wukong and Macaque tho (their memories got locked out) but sometime later, they did get their memories back and eventually told the monkeys about their identity. This happens after the LBD fiasco and after Wukong and Liu'er's reconciliation. If you're asking about how they were created, it's due to Wukong's lovesickness and daydreaming of having a married life with Liu'er while carving a stone monkey (magic stuff haha). This happened before the sworn brotherhood was formed.

Really appreciate that you're interested in the AU. The creator is currently busy with other fandom things so they might not focus much on the AU. He is my friend tho so I can and will ask questions to them if there's smth I can't answer or I am unsure.

[hollowsart]

I'm tired of Backrooms video games being based on the Kane Pixels series. No hate to him tho, the quality of the series is really impressive and genuinely kinda cool to see, but like.. I think people should stop trying to replicate it. make something new, y'know? something that isn't 'you're a scientist at some top secret science facility exploration team and you get lost from your coworkers after entering the backrooms the facility created with their strange machines and you were tasked with going first into a hole in the wall or floor while your coworkers just sit back and watch and wait'

Let me explore the non euclidean architecture of multiple different real life buildings and locations and scenery all merged together into an abomination amalgamation of a place to get lost in. let me be an unfortunate soul that somehow got stuck and trapped within this bizarre place that I have no recollection of how I even wound up there. Let me feel dread and nostalgia and a sense of deja vu around nearly every corner and in nearly ever room I enter that looks like places I have been to or places I have dreamed of.

no more monsters, no more people in hazmat suits and no more stories woven in and other people involved.

(post got a little long, cutting here):

the true horror is the idea that you are truly alone. the paranoia that there might be something in there with you, you hear noises and sounds, but have never once seen anything like a creature or person. every clock you see tells a different time, or lack power or has no hands.

I want to see more games like that for the backrooms.

a proper backrooms survival type game, too, similar to that SCP ikea game just.. minus the threat of any monsters and you really have to go searching for the objects to obtain the parts and materials from to give you tools to try and survive.

perhaps there's some kind of scoring system in place? see how long you can survive in the backrooms.

is there even a way to get out? if so, it should be difficult to find it and get to it.

at this point, there's really little to no creativity and variety with the games based around the backrooms. WHY must there be some kind of scientific research being done? WHY must there be some form of entity that wishes to kill you?

it really makes it boring and kills the mystery and intrigue that the original idea of the backrooms provided. I've made a post before about this and I will repeat what I said there:

The true horror of the backrooms is the realization that you are literally all alone and you have no idea how long you have been there and no idea if there is any way of truly surviving, where is the food? the water? is it any good? is it safe to ingest? is there any safe place to sleep? is there any exit at all? your growing sense of paranoia and the physical feeling of your sanity slipping and deteriorating over time, THAT is what would make the backrooms a true horror.

horror is more than just monsters chasing you. there is solace to be found in the monster: you are not the only living thing here, there is something else alive in this place.

but no monsters being present gives you the sense of pure dread that you are truly and utterly alone. there is NOTHING to keep you company. no other signs of life. it's just you.

the concept of the backrooms is fun and fascinating, but it gets ruined so easily and turned into the same old thing with monsters and top secret government funded facilities.

The backrooms have literally just become the dollar store SCP Foundation, y'know?? just without the fun.

[trentsambuccus]

Name: Trent

~●○°●○°●○~

Likes: anything! comfort, fluff, angst, all of it!

Squicks: insets, idek

Favorite Iteration(s): 2003, 2012, (mostly this one tho)2018, 2023

~●○°●○°●○~

Prompt #1

To his horror, he realised he'd been this way before. (17yo Donnson + your pick) (get creative) (maze/backroom/hallucination -you pick-) (rottmnt)

Prompt #2

The sand felt horrid but Casey Jr. wanted to go to the beach, so the beach we shall go. (18+yo Donnson + Casey) (autistic sensory issues + curious Jones Jr.) (beach day)(rottmnt)

Prompt #3

F/Leo and his little nephew's training session. When did this kid get a knife?! (Bad future Leo + lil feral chaotic Donnson)(he’s a lil crazy)(Leo needs a break)(rottmnt)

Prompt #4

You’ve never had ice cream before!? (Casey Jr. + the brothers + Donnson) (get creative, have fun) (Donnson hates the coldness of ice cream) (poor boy’s krang blood is upset) (coffee flavor ice cream for Donnson)(rottmnt)

Prompt #5

Leo looked at his phone, turned pale, then quickly left the room. Donnson watched him, smiling. (set up/trap) (Hurt Donnie) (Donnson vs Leo + Donnie)(rottmnt)

[winter-jay-official]

Had the trapped in a place backrooms style and got to the irl i-spy level where everyone had to find this specific list of items to move on but there's other ppl so they can steal (and they do) and I was almost done and this bitch stole my dice I was pissed I got them back tho then woke up so I never got to finish

Things to find:

2 twenty sided dice (they were like. Black and rubber it was weird. Also no numbers)

1 16 sided dice

Yellow dye powder (I did pick up a bottle labeled yellow and it had purple in it so this one was tricky) (I was also extremely pissed off)

A jar (but specfic color and label (known but not listed this way))

A straw

- I feel like there was more but I don't remember any more

The level before this one was a public bathroom maze which I've dreamed of before

[billerak]

So I recently finished The Magnus Archives and it seems to be a light fixation (not hyperfixation quite yet but it could become one with time, probably after I inevitably re-listen to the whole show), which means I must somehow talk about it.

Of course, the main thing I've been thinking about is actually the fears. So I've decided I'm gonna rank them exclusively on a scale of "do not vibe" to "kinda vibe."

None of them are true vibes, of course. That's the point. But you know. Purely personal preferences too, of course.

So, let us begin.

15) The Corruption/The Crawling Rot Yeah I do 100% do NOT vibe with this shit. I hate filth and sickness and while I don't hate bugs I do hate it if they get into my goddamn food. The stories of The Corruption always fucking sicken me.

14) The Desolation/The Lightless Flame I... don't like the idea of burning alive. That's about it really. Nevermind all the other horrible things this particular fear represents. Don't think it would take me, though: Don't have a lot of connections or things to live for. If anything I'd maybe become an acolyte? Hypothetically speaking I would love to commit some arson against people (on minecraft).

13) The Buried/Too Close I Cannot Breathe If this was just claustrophobia it'd probably be higher up. I kinda like enclosed spaces, and I've liked the few times in my life I've been underground. That being said, fuck the asphyxiation part of this. Or the actually being trapped part. Swallowing dirt or mud flowing into your lungs or being trapped in a box that keeps you like a contortionist? Fuck right off mate.

12) The Slaughter/Butchery I have some experience with gratuitous violence. I wouldn't want to experience it again. Also, From the River to the Sea. Fuck Israel and zionists.

11) The Spiral/It Is Not What It Is So, episode 100 kinda seems to imply having ADHD actually makes you more resistant to the spiral, which I find funny cuz I have it, but... yeah, the idea of my mind lying to me is actually very present in my life. Also, The Distortion was The Backrooms before it was popular.

10) The Stranger/I Do Not Know You Kinda keeping in line with the previous one, I do tend to stay away from strangers and I've always found mannequins to be creepy. I feel like the uncanny valley is why I've hated 3d games trying to be realistic for so long. Nevermind that I care a lot about my identity. The part where they take who you are from you is... among the most psychologically scary things in the show. This could be a bit higher on the list if not for the part where they take your skin and stick you in wax.

9) The Eye/It Knows You We all have secrets we don't want found out, and I am actually a bit paranoid myself. Probably has to do with my self esteem issues. I hate knowing that there's probably nobody judging me as harsh as I do myself, and yet... Yeah, it's a doozy. Hot take tho: I find the eye statements to be mostly underwhelming? I don't think they ever fully manage to grasp the fear of being judged.

8) The Flesh/Viscera I find this one scary because I find it appealing. I find the idea of shaping my body with something like the boneturner to be something I'd fall into with my strange sense of identity. Also the first appearance of this fear lives rent free on my mind, though I think the reason it's scary is how disgusting it is? And that could probably fall closer to the rot?

7)The End/Death Fun fact: I made my peace with death when I was like... 12. I laid in bed one night, realizing the inevitability of my own mortality, and I cried for a while about it. Then I realized... if I can't do anything about it, then why stress over it? We all die. Of course, I don't want to die. I don't want my loved ones to die. It's something I am kind of afraid of, but it's not something I despise, so it gets the middle spot on this list.

6) The Extinction/The Terrible Change We live in a generation where this fear will probably come to be. That's the scariest part of it, I think. I don't expect I'll live to see my 40's tbh. Whether it's global warming or a nuke that takes me (or unrelated health issues), I am certain humanity will end by its own hand, and it's sad. Probably won't get to mars either. (certainly not with the long rat)

5) The Web/The Spider I'm not afraid of spiders, but I hate manipulation. That being said the way it's presented in the show is not that scary. Either it's a spider controlling you to torture you, or you're part of a scheme so big you don't even realize it 'till the end. Maybe I don't find it that scary because I've never been subject to the type of manipulation others have.

4) The Hunt/The Everchase I don't like the idea of being hunted or hunting, don't get me wrong... But I also don't find it particularly scary. Police brutality is a bitch. ACAB. I guess it makes more sense for animals to be scared of it tho. Not a lot of thoughts on this one, save to say the hunt statement in season 5 was probably my favorite? Idk I really liked it.

3)The Dark/Forever Blind I'm still kinda scared of the dark, but mostly because I'm afraid I'll step on something and it'll hurt. I stopped believing in ghosts many years ago and weird sounds in my house are about on the same level of scariness whether it's light or dark. Really, the only thing that doesn't push this farther up the list is that I don't like the idea of becoming blind. The kids episode during season 5 was fucked up tho.

2) The Vast This was kind of in the run to be 1, but they do mention they get hungry a few times during the statements about the Vast so I don't like that. Honestly, I find none of the fears this manifests as that scary. Whether it be the sky, the ocean, or the void of space. Also I grow excited when I think about the insignificance of human life in the scale of things, rather than fearful.

1) The Lonely/Forsaken I'm an introvert. Do I need to say much more? Ofc I have family and friends and stuff, and I love discussing things with people... but The Lonely's stories never seemed that bad to me. I figure if I were to get taken by it (I wouldn't, ofc, as it's not something I'm particularly afraid of) I'd be far better off than most people. Yes, I know, kinda funny that the 3 that went on the daedalus are the ones I found least scary lmao.

Took like an hour to write this, but... yeah, I think I needed to get my thoughts out there. Don't take most of the middle spots too seriously tho, they can probably be interchangable depending on my mood. Only top and bottom 3 are fixed in place.

[littlewalken]

Sep 25

The First Amendment protects you against the government not Little Walken, my blog my rules, don't liberate my baby.

If I have to chose a side in the divorce of the LGB from the rest of the alphabet soup I'm with the LGB side. Even tho I'm asexual I'm on the side of it being who I'm attracted to not how I identify.

So here's my take- the only time I'm not going to have any Marge Simpson grumble with neopronouns is the joke by Evilwizards how if spiders had pronouns they'd be it/ze/bit/xe.

That's it.

You can have he or she or they, I get there are intersexed people out there who don't make videos about it being their entire identity.

If your pronouns are on your resume or are among the first things out of your mouth it tells me you're going to be the biggest turd in the punch bowl.

I also treat people who bring up their faith, their politics, and other things that they've made in to their identity instead of having a personality.

I spent too much of my life trapped in situations with people I didn't want to be around because I was unable to leave them under my own power. The second half of my life ain't got time for that shit.

Come this time next year I want to look back and tell myself that I got a hell of a lot accomplished and what I'm feeling is well deserved pride for jobs well done.

Change of direction puppy

She had the biggest grr. Now that I know what the sound was she was born growling. So y'all know she was also half great dane and those feets got huge and those legs got long. In that picture she's barely a month old and probably bigger than any fluffy tea cup pupper she resembles.

I think what's fucked up in my back is the gluteus minimus on the once side. It's the side that locks up if I just walk so I have a long history of something I can only get pain medicine for because otherwise my American health care won't cover anything else for it.

Getting used to the new cane. Good thing I don't like and can totaly sense people sneaking up on me, since like forever, being that pick pockets and purse snatchers in stores like to sneak up on older and disabled looking people. I have enough family members who think they've lost something in my purse that I don't leave it around.

Also managed to find a literal replacement for my purse. It's a plush black cat face with ears and it used to look less ratty before 'oh, was that not supposed to go in the dryer'.

What I plan to do is put the nice one with the full sized plush black cat backpack so I have a 'set' going on. I'm going to have the warn out one in rotation until it literally falls apart or something.

Altho I have a decent collection of purses, half of which go back to work when I needed plain ones, it's not a purse for every outfit thing. It's more of a I just want a different one and I'm not parting one that's still good.

Or I need to get one I can fit my tablet in to. Or I have to replace the one I used to fit my tablet in to because it went to the Mystery Flesh Pit with me and it absorbed the bad mojo and it has rainbow flags on it and kids with pronouns have ruined the rainbow part of The Backrooms.

[b1-0wl]

There's a mall in my home town with a failing anchor store. The store has multiple levels, very few staff, lots of empty space and it's just... dead.

It's such a weird liminal space in there. Everything they wanna hock at you is placed by the entrance so that they can sell it quickly and get the fuck outta there. Corporate KNOWS they're fucked so they're gonna sell the lifeboat as the ship goes down and you're gonna buy that life jacket whether it's waterlogged or not.

But the deeper you walk into the store the more buckwild it becomes because, like, the stuff on sale changes to advertisements & posters on sale, display stands with a price tag on them, furniture with offers in neon lettering, fixtures, fittings, even shelves to take home and then just

N O T H I N G

Just empty, liminal, back rooms level nothing. Just buzzing lights, temporary walls, big glass panels and the fog of the nineties before you.

Miles of walking in corporate dismayed nothingness & christmas music.

But if you continue to go DEEPER into the store like I did, it has this weird 'Welcome to Nightvale' cyclic effect where it gets more and more empty until the shelves appear again, the displays stands return, each with a price tag and a 'for sale' sign.

Your memories become projected onto the drywall. memories you haven't made yet, memories that feel lost, memories of you from those that you love, memories that feel like a lifetime ago because you've been walking for as long as you can remember

until you reach an entire GAME STORE.

The game store is perfect. Nothing is out of place. There's no one here except you, a nerd who has obviously wandered here for a game for your Switch or PS3. Why else would you be here?

The clerk greets you as a weary traveller and calls you by your first name, ushering you to the Mario LEGO sets and the Jojo figurines. You're trapped by the overwhelming sense that you've gone too far.

This is your life now. you can see others outside through the window but you have no way to get there and warn them of the dangers of this faction of the backrooms.

TURN BACK WEARY TRAVELLER!

I did and now I think I'm back in my real house, with my real cat and my real anxiety. It was a weird shopping trip today, but I got some cool shirts tho so... I guess it's fine?

[kvetchlandia]

Harold Chapman     Allen Ginsberg, the Beat Hotel, 9 Rue Gît-le-Cœur, Paris     1956

Strange now to think of you, gone without corsets & eyes, while I walk on the sunny pavement of Greenwich Village. downtown Manhattan, clear winter noon, and I’ve been up all night, talking, talking, reading the Kaddish aloud, listening to Ray Charles blues shout blind on the phonograph the rhythm the rhythm—and your memory in my head three years after—And read Adonais’ last triumphant stanzas aloud—wept, realizing how we suffer— And how Death is that remedy all singers dream of, sing, remember, prophesy as in the Hebrew Anthem, or the Buddhist Book of Answers—and my own imagination of a withered leaf—at dawn— Dreaming back thru life, Your time—and mine accelerating toward Apocalypse, the final moment—the flower burning in the Day—and what comes after,   looking back on the mind itself that saw an American city a flash away, and the great dream of Me or China, or you and a phantom Russia, or a crumpled bed that never existed— like a poem in the dark—escaped back to Oblivion— No more to say, and nothing to weep for but the Beings in the Dream, trapped in its disappearance, sighing, screaming with it, buying and selling pieces of phantom, worshipping each other, worshipping the God included in it all—longing or inevitability?—while it lasts, a Vision—anything more? It leaps about me, as I go out and walk the street, look back over my shoulder, Seventh Avenue, the battlements of window office buildings shouldering each other high, under a cloud, tall as the sky an instant—and the sky above—an old blue place. or down the Avenue to the south, to—as I walk toward the Lower East Side—where you walked 50 years ago, little girl—from Russia, eating the first poisonous tomatoes of America—frightened on the dock— then struggling in the crowds of Orchard Street toward what?—toward Newark— toward candy store, first home-made sodas of the century, hand-churned ice cream in backroom on musty brownfloor boards— Toward education marriage nervous breakdown, operation, teaching school, and learning to be mad, in a dream—what is this life? Toward the Key in the window—and the great Key lays its head of light on top of Manhattan, and over the floor, and lays down on the sidewalk—in a single vast beam, moving, as I walk down First toward the Yiddish Theater—and the place of poverty you knew, and I know, but without caring now—Strange to have moved thru Paterson, and the West, and Europe and here again, with the cries of Spaniards now in the doorstoops doors and dark boys on the street, fire escapes old as you -Tho you’re not old now, that’s left here with me— Myself, anyhow, maybe as old as the universe—and I guess that dies with us—enough to cancel all that comes—What came is gone forever every time— That’s good! That leaves it open for no regret—no fear radiators, lacklove, torture even toothache in the end— Though while it comes it is a lion that eats the soul—and the lamb, the soul, in us, alas, offering itself in sacrifice to change’s fierce hunger—hair and teeth—and the roar of bonepain, skull bare, break rib, rot-skin, braintricked Implacability. Ai! ai! we do worse! We are in a fix! And you’re out, Death let you out, Death had the Mercy, you’re done with your century, done with God, done with the path thru it—Done with yourself at last—Pure—Back to the Babe dark before your Father, before us all—before the world— There, rest. No more suffering for you. I know where you’ve gone, it’s good. No more flowers in the summer fields of New York, no joy now, no more fear of Louis, and no more of his sweetness and glasses, his high school decades, debts, loves, frightened telephone calls, conception beds, relatives, hands— No more of sister Elanor,.—she gone before you—we kept it secret—you killed her—or she killed herself to bear with you—an arthritic heart—But Death’s killed you both—No matter— Nor your memory of your mother, 1915 tears in silent movies weeks and weeks—forgetting, aggrieve watching Marie Dressler address humanity, Chaplin dance in youth, or Boris Godunov, Chaliapin’s at the Met, hailing his voice of a weeping Czar—by standing room with Elanor & Max—watching also the Capitalists take seats in Orchestra, white furs, diamonds, with the YPSL’s hitch-hiking thru Pennsylvania, in black baggy gym skirts pants, photograph of 4 girls holding each other round the waste, and laughing eye, too coy, virginal solitude of 1920 all girls grown old, or dead, now, and that long hair in the grave—lucky to have husbands later— You made it—I came too—Eugene my brother before (still grieving now and will gream on to his last stiff hand, as he goes thru his cancer—or kill—later perhaps—soon he will think—) And it’s the last moment I remember, which I see them all, thru myself, now—tho not you I didn’t foresee what you felt—what more hideous gape of bad mouth came first—to you—and were you prepared? To go where? In that Dark—that—in that God? a radiance? A Lord in the Void? Like an eye in the black cloud in a dream? Adonoi at last, with you? Beyond my remembrance! Incapable to guess! Not merely the yellow skull in the grave, or a box of worm dust, and a stained ribbon—Deathshead with Halo? can you believe it? Is it only the sun that shines once for the mind, only the flash of existence, than none ever was? Nothing beyond what we have—what you had—that so pitiful—yet Triumph, to have been here, and changed, like a tree, broken, or flower—fed to the ground—but mad, with its petals, colored, thinking Great Universe, shaken, cut in the head, leaf stript, hid in an egg crate hospital, cloth wrapped, sore—freaked in the moon brain, Naughtless. No flower like that flower, which knew itself in the garden, and fought the knife—lost Cut down by an idiot Snowman’s icy—even in the Spring—strange ghost thought—some Death—Sharp icicle in his hand—crowned with old roses—a dog for his eyes—cock of a sweatshop—heart of electric irons. All the accumulations of life, that wear us out—clocks, bodies, consciousness, shoes, breasts—begotten sons—your Communism—‘Paranoia’ into hospitals. You once kicked Elanor in the leg, she died of heart failure later. You of stroke. Asleep? within a year, the two of you, sisters in death. Is Elanor happy? Max grieves alive in an office on Lower Broadway, lone large mustache over midnight Accountings, not sure. l His life passes—as he sees—and what does he doubt now? Still dream of making money, or that might have made money, hired nurse, had children, found even your Immortality, Naomi? I’ll see him soon. Now I’ve got to cut through—to talk to you—as I didn’t when you had a mouth. Forever. And we’re bound for that, Forever—like Emily Dickinson’s horses—headed to the End. They know the way—These Steeds—run faster than we think—it’s our own life they cross—and take with them.

      Magnificent, mourned no more, marred of heart, mind behind, married dreamed, mortal changed—Ass and face done with murder.       In the world, given, flower maddened, made no Utopia, shut under pine, almed in Earth, balmed in Lone, Jehovah, accept.       Nameless, One Faced, Forever beyond me, beginningless, endless, Father in death. Tho I am not there for this Prophecy, I am unmarried, I’m hymnless, I’m Heavenless, headless in blisshood I would still adore       Thee, Heaven, after Death, only One blessed in Nothingness, not light or darkness, Dayless Eternity—       Take this, this Psalm, from me, burst from my hand in a day, some of my Time, now given to Nothing—to praise Thee—But Death       This is the end, the redemption from Wilderness, way for the Wonderer, House sought for All, black handkerchief washed clean by weeping—page beyond Psalm—Last change of mine and Naomi—to God’s perfect Darkness—Death, stay thy phantoms!

-- Allen Ginsberg, “Kaddish, pt. 1″ 1959

[im-the-redguy]

Update on the backrooms situation :P

So— someone else is trapped with us, who?— uhhh— i havent actually ask their name—

Apparently jackys somewhere here too, we dont know where—

We’re still alive tho so! We gotta find jacky tho— - ✏️

Uhhhh Good that your still alive but

What again made you want to go to the backrooms?