#translated: I got tested and then I was too busy pining over you

[ohsolovingsouls]

"Hey- don't start runnin' that mouth about Washington."

"I ah- I mean why would I, I'm fit as a fiddle. I ain't stupid though Sor- and I did get tested a while back for all the big ones. Haven't needed to since because it was only me, myself and I."

"Yes, because Washington state is known for their sex education program."

"You're 55 Huck, besides Joe, have you had any doctors look at you head to toe? Package in included."

[thebiasrekkers]

Pillow Talk

Pairing: Joohoney x POC Reader

Type:  One Shot

Genre: F2L, The one that got away, Smut, Pining [ithink], Fluff [ifyousquint]

WC: 2.6k

Warning: unprotected sex.

A/N: What do you do when your friends are feeling down in the dumps? You write them sawft comforting things with their kpop support boys. So, I did this for Admin E and she said I could share. The italicized words are the lyrics to the song partly responsible for this squishyfluffyinlovejooheon stuff. 

Song: Pillow Talk by Novelties

© thebiasrekkers (Admin T). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

-------

She was on his mind again. They were friends, the best of friends - cliche, right? The kind of friends that were connected at the hip each and every time they were near. The kind of friends that comforted the other when their hearts damaged. It was a ritual as old as time, as old as both of them. 

Their dreams took them in different directions. He had a fever for the idol life. He had a raw talent for words and rhymes. His style was unique and unlike anything that existed in the industry. He could do it - reach out and snatch that dream in his fist. She believed he could do it.  

But her dreams took her to the US. During the initial training phase, he couldn’t communicate with the outside world. 

And there wasn’t a day that he didn’t think about her.

Every night and every day

Then he debuted. It took a short period of time to gain traction. His group had been put together in front of a nation, after all.

He invited her to their first concert. They finished the first part of their set, standing in front of a crowded stadium. Light sticks sparkling in a sea of fan love. He bit into his bottom lip scanning the faces and banners. And then he saw her. 

One of the members was busy talking about how excited they all were. The world seemed to quiet as their eyes met. She offered the slightest of smiles wiggling her fingers in greeting. He didn’t understand the shock, honestly. Why wouldn’t she come? And she was still as beautiful, to the point he felt his heart beat a little harder.

I think of what we could be

When he finally reached out to her after the communication restriction lifted? He was frightened. There was some free time for them finally. Jooheon spent it pacing and watching his phone. While Shownu and Kihyun were fine to let their main rapper wait to come to them? Minhyuk, unfortunately, was not that patient.

“Jooheon-ah, you’re going to walk a path into the floor.” He teased watching the other man pace with occasional glances to his phone. Minhyuk was busy perfecting his selca angles. Jooheon’s brow furrowed as he slowed his pace. 

“Hyung, please. I’m already nervous as is.” He chewed the tip of his finger between his teeth. Minhyuk looked over his own cellphone. It wasn’t like Jooheon to be so impatient, so ..nervous. He pursed his lips as Jooheon flopped on the couch next to him. The rapper’s ringed fingers slid through his bleached hair. 

Min sighed turning to clap a hand on his shoulder. “Go on. Tell me about her then.” Jooheon looked up too quickly, validating his assumption. “Just tell me.” Jooheon’s shoulders slumped and he spilled his pent up beans. 

It took an hour for Jooheon to talk about the one that got away. That if he had a Muse on two legs? It was her. That he hadn’t stopped thinking about her the whole time they were training. That he hoped to make this dream come true. So he could reach her in a way that he couldn’t before. That he felt he had waited too long to reach out to her. 

That he couldn’t think of not having her in his life. 

You and I, we’ve got that thing

Minhyuk listened quietly almost energized by the passion oozing from Honey’s words. How the Rapper’s whole body was animated by the thought of this woman. He couldn’t help the sly grin that creased the corner of his lips. Jooheon groaned, his head dropping into his hands. 

...and then his phone beeped. 

No one else can make me feel.

He scrambled from the couch to pick it up. The familiar name flashed across the screen and suddenly? He lost his nerve. “It’s her! It’s...It’s her!?” He held the phone as if it was burning his skin. Minhyuk practically hissed as he shot up from the couch.

“Answer it, babo!” Min had a hand on his hip and the other flailing toward the younger member. “Straighten yourself out and answer it! Or you really will regret it later!” He stomped his way out of the studio hoping Jooheon would regain his nerve.

He took a deep breath and finally accepted the call. “Hey.”

There was a momentary silence, then a shuddering breath. “H-hey, is this - if it’s a bad time?” 

“N-no! No, it’s fine. I was hoping I’d hear from you.” He relaxed, sinking into his chair. “...I’m glad to hear from you.” 

She bit her lip listening to the sound of his voice filter through her speaker. “I’m glad you - I mean…” Another soft sigh. “I really missed you.” 

He couldn’t fight the dimple deepened smile that spread across his face. “I missed you, too.” A flick of his wrist to glance at the time. “Are you busy tonight? I want to see you.” There was an audible sound of surprise from the other end. He smirked, “Well, do you?” 

“U-uh, y-yeah. I do. But, is that ok? You won’t get in trouble, right?” Concern peppered her voice, but his laughter eased her fears. Just a bit. Only a little bit. 

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Tell me where you’re staying.” And she did. It was much later when he was finally able to leave the dorm. She wasn’t that far away. Close enough that an excuse for a night run shouldn’t put him out of place any longer than usual. 

All he could think about was everything he wanted to tell her. All the time he missed that he wanted to regain. That nice leisurely jog turned into an almost desperate run within half a mile of his destination. He didn’t feel the burn in his lungs as he stepped into the elevator. 

He felt like he was on auto-pilot by the time he reached her door. He licked the top of his lip before exhaling slowly. 

She could hear him breathing on the opposite side of the door. Her fingers clutching the fabric of her shirt to quell the tremble in her fingers. What was she going to say to him? What would they even have to talk about? 

Could she ever tell him…?

You fix all my pieces

Could he ever tell her…?

I want you

Would they even be the same? 

I need this

Jooheon knocked gently, three soft raps upon her door. It took a moment to move her feet forward, trembling fingers undid the latch and locks. The door turned, parting slightly, til a pair of green circle-lenses looked up at him. “Hey.” 

“Can I come in?” He could feel that hard thump in his chest again as she smiled - and stepped aside. 

“Please do.” He brushed by her in a haze of heat and cologne. She closed the door gently behind him. She could feel him lingering there behind her. His frame blocking the light behind them. She turned slowly, keeping her back pressed against the door, to stare at him.

He had gotten taller, even more so, since last time. He filled out in the shoulders, his arms were impressive even beneath that hoodie. He was so different, yet still the same. It brought a smile to her face to see him healthy. To see him well.

Just...to see him.

“Jooheon.” She said his name like a gentle caress, and he lost all reason. He advanced, too quickly, pinning her to the door and her hands above her head. His breaths were deep as he inhaled her scent on quivering lips.

Love the way you say my name

“Say my name again.” His tone was gruff, hinting the edge of a growl. Hinting the very edge of his restraint. “Tell me you missed me.” His eyes squeezed shut tight. The sound of their staccato breathing was so loud in the silence of this moment.

I got no more secrets.. ‘cause all night I dream about you.

“Jooheon.” She sighed against the side of his face, trying to lean further into him. She couldn’t help herself, the warmth of him. The feel of him against her and the emotions welling inside of her. “Bogoshipda..” 

Love how you say you miss me

Tears. 

They were hot and they burned. His grip on her hands eased as she meshed her fingers with his. Neither one knew who shed them first. Their visions blurred as their foreheads touched. “I missed you, too.” He shattered into a thousand relieved pieces as she pressed her lips against his. A tentative brush, a testing of the waters, that had her tongue slipping over his bottom lip. 

He felt his muscles tighten at the delicate motion. “There wasn’t a day that went by…” A groan as she got bolder. Soon she was edging him backward, his hoodie unzipped so she could touch him. He tore it off and it fluttered into a chair. His fingers toyed at the edges of her t-shirt. She had to practically get on her tiptoes to kiss him fully. 

He was done toying around at that point. They were a flurry of lips, limbs, and untapped passion as they landed on the bed. He pushed pillows against the headboard, shifting her body upward. He couldn’t count how many nights he had wanted to do this. How many times she had brought her broken, shattered heart to his doorstep. How many times he want to kiss away her sadness. How many times he wanted it to be *him* that she laughed for. To be *him* that she smiled for. He wanted to own all of her good, her bad, and be the barrier between anything that would bring her low.

Her fingers interlocked at the nape of his neck as he paused. “What is it?” She asked him whisper-quiet as he processed all of her beauty. 

“I never thought..” His brow furrowed as his hands dug greedy possession into her hips. “...that this moment would ever come.” His pants hung by a prayer to the expanse of his hips. His knee pressed deeper between her legs causing a moan to roll from her throat.

“I didn’t want to keep you from your dreams, Jooheon.” Her fingers slid against the side of his face. “...and I was an idiot to try to and worry about whether I would get in the way, or ruin our friendship.” She bit her lip as her eyes glittered with unshed tears. “...you were the best thing for me.”

Scared of love but it’s ok...

He shook his head with a soft sigh. “You were my dream. I felt like if you were with me? Anything was possible.” He covered her body with his. Braced on his elbows he moved a curly strand of hair from her face. “...even from thousands of miles away. It was always you.” 

See the side of me no one's ever seen

All day and all night

Pillow talk.

“It’s always been you. It should have been you from the start.” Her hands fell away to cover her face. He healed her every heartache, just so she could turn around and get hurt again. Because she was running from the things she felt. Because she didn’t want him to lose the fire of his dream. Because she thought it was for the best - a lie she told herself for one year too many. 

Is this what it feels like?

His world stilled as the truth left her lips. The whole, complete, truth that he had known for so long. She had been in love with him. He hadn’t read her wrong. And he was right to keep up hope. Jooheon moved her hands away from her face wearing that boyish grin. “It took you long enough.” A rapid bewildered blink of tears before she started to laugh. His smile grew until his eyes seemed to sparkle. 

“Kiss me.” She looked up at him with desire so blatant his mouth went dry. He suddenly looked at her again, really, looked at her. Her hair was crimson-hued in the lamp, spread against the pillows. Her curves fit right into his hands. Need twirling his insides into a loop as he crushed his mouth to hers. He wasn’t gentle as he removed what clothing was left on her body. Rearing back on his knees he finally got to see all of her. There was a moment where she let the back of her knuckles rest on her lips. Her free hand moving to cover perceived imperfections had him growling. 

“Don’t.” His chest heaving as he held onto the dregs of restraint. “Don’t you dare hide from me.” He winced as she moved her hand away. She was luscious and soft, a temple of curves that he would worship for as long as he could. She watched Jooheon slide back to the edge of the bed. His fingers tucked into the waistband of his pants one moment, flung to the chair another. 

He sprung up hot, velvety, and hard as he continued to stare at her. Memorizing each freckle, every inch, and the birthmark on her thigh. He grabbed her ankles tugging her forward to meet him at the lower part of the bed. She leaned up on her elbows as he dropped to his knees, letting her feet dance on the top of his shoulders. She felt every swipe of his tongue and every pinch of his teeth down the inside of her leg. Each leg. He tortured her with his mouth along her skin, breezing over ache between her legs. He let her taste settle on his tongue before finally pulling her even closer. His fingers digging into her thighs as he let his tongue slide against her sex. 

The contact had her gripping the bed for dear life. The sound that she made pushed him onward. He had the whole of his mouth covering her, devouring her as if she was the most sacred elixir. That the taste and scent of her would heal all his woes. He could feel nails scraping his scalp as he feasted. And he didn’t stop, even though she cried out. He held her tighter as she struggled against his mouth. He could feel her pulse dancing under his fingers. He heard her call his name, a hoarse whisper. He heard her breathing intensify as she moaned his name in a rush. He felt all the blood rush to his head when she shook violently as his tongue rolled over her clit. She felt him loosen his grip and she scrambled back toward the head of the bed. Her skin was flush, her nipples peaked, and he could see the goosebumps littering her skin. 

Jooheon crawled onto the bed like a tiger eyeing his prey. She was thrilled and adrenaline-fueled as she felt the need to run. He moved between her legs unable to hold himself back any longer. He grabbed her by the waist holding her steady as he slid inside of her. Crushing his mouth to swallow her cries as he buried himself to the hilt. Her legs trembled as she locked her legs around his waist. 

You and I -  we’ve got that thing

No one else can make me feel

Scared of love but it’s ok

Love the way you say my name

Love how you say you miss me

Is this what it feels like

No words were needed. No words could have been spoken. There were no words in any language that would have been able to quantify the sensations that moved them. The road to eternity stretched farther and farther with each thrust. Her fingers dug in, crying out, and scratched down his back as her hips lifted to meet his one last time. He flexed into those nails a hoarse sound leaving him as he felt himself go lightheaded. His pulse quickened as he filled her, clutching her body close. 

He rolled to the side, keeping his arm around her. 

Sweating. 

Breathless.

Complete. 

All his dreams had finally come true.

                             Is what it feels like to fall in love?

[artificialqueens]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Chapter 4 (Crygi, Jan x Nicky) - Joley

ao3 link

Crystal was excited for today; it was probably the best part of pretending to be engaged, enough to make her wonder why she hadn’t thought of this sooner. Today, she and Gigi were going wedding cake testing. They had lined up three different bakeries after finding out which ones didn’t charge for the consultation, and they had just arrived at bakery number one.

“I’m not very picky about flavor or anything, I’ll try whatever you recommend,” Crystal was saying. “However, my wife-to-be here especially loves red velvet, but doesn’t really like chocolate, which is weird to me, but we’ll probably go with what she wants.”

When the baker went into the kitchen, Gigi turned to Crystal with a surprised expression. “How did you know my cake preferences?”

Crystal shrugged. “You’ve mentioned it a couple of times, and I know you always get excited when they have red velvet muffins in the dining hall.”

“Oh,” Gigi felt a fluttering in her heart that she couldn’t – or rather wouldn’t – explain. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked down. “Well, you’re more observant than I give you credit for, then.”

“I get that a lot,” she mused, then sat upright when the test slices were brought out. She tried to listen to the descriptions, but she was practically salivating and dug in as soon as she could. “Now the texture of this is really nice, I like how it brings out the subtle flavor notes.”

Gigi covered her mouth to hide a laugh. “You’ll have to excuse her, she binge-watched Cake Wars last night,” she explained, gently patting Crystal’s thigh. After that, they got through the rest of the tasting without incident, and they told the baker they’d be in touch and left with the leftovers (that they hid in Gigi’s oversized purse so they could go and do the same at the next two bakeries).

Crystal patted her stomach in satisfaction as they made their way back to her apartment. “I can’t believe we never thought to pull a stunt like this before. It’s like telling the waiter it’s your birthday so they give you free ice cream or something,” she mused.

“I feel kinda bad though, we should order something from those places. Just, you know, not a wedding cake,” she added.

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Crystal readily agreed. “So, did you hear back from your friend about doing a photoshoot?”

Gigi nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me, actually. Does Saturday afternoon work for you?”

She nodded. “Totally. How’s it gonna work? Like, are we gonna be in our dresses, or is it gonna be something different? I don’t know how this works.”

“We’ll do some in the dresses, some in different outfits. It’ll give me the motivation to finish the fucking thing so I don’t try to pull an all-nighter right before it’s due,” she decided. As they kept walking, her hand kept brushing against Crystal’s, until she just caved and held her hand. It wasn’t like she hadn’t before, but it felt different this time. Holding Crystal’s hand had never made her heart skip a beat before, and she was yet to figure out how much she liked that.

It was different for Crystal. She already knew how she felt, and maybe that made it easier for her. She could allow herself to just appreciate the small act of affection, even though she did have to look away when she started smiling too wide. She probably wouldn’t try to overanalyze it until she was alone, at least. All she could do at the moment was appreciate being close to her, as it never seemed she could get close enough.

They’d both stopped thinking about it by the time they got home, and Crystal put the cake in the fridge, shooing away the cat at her feet. “Not a chance, Tic Tac, the vet already says you’re getting too fat.”

“Don’t body-shame her,” Gigi playfully chastised.

“I’m just being a concerned mother,” Crystal insisted, then looked over towards Jan’s room. She heard her voice, but couldn’t distinguish the words. “Ah, she must be working on the French song.”

Gigi tilted her head. “I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and assume it’s for Nicky, huh?” She let out a small laugh, though not in a mean way. “She’s… really crazy about her, huh?”

Jan came out of the room before Crystal could answer. “Hey, guys. How did the cake tasting go?”

“Great, there are leftovers in the fridge if you wanna pick at them,” Crystal offered. “How’s your song coming along? What’s it called again?”

“It’s called Aimé by Loane. I haven’t looked up the English translation, I feel like that kind of ruins it, you know? But when I heard it, it just made me think of Nicky, like deep in my heart, I just know it works,” Jan explained.

Gigi chewed on her lip, fighting back her words until she couldn’t anymore. “I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. How can you be so head over heels over someone you’ve never been in the same room with?”

Jan didn’t seem terribly bothered by this question, it wasn’t a new one to her. “She’s not written in braille, Gigi. I don’t need to touch her to know her.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve got an emotional connection,” Gigi assured. “But have you even been with anyone since you guys started talking? Or are you really saving yourself for someone across the ocean? We all crave physical intimacy, you know?”

“Are you coming onto me?” Jan asked in an attempt to deflect. She glanced over at Crystal, whose face said ‘don’t you dare.’ to which she silently conveyed ‘I would never.’

Gigi didn’t notice any of that, just laughing it off. “I’m just saying you shouldn’t deprive yourself because you’re too busy pining to get laid.”

Jan chuckled softly. “I appreciate your concern about my sexual wellbeing, Geege. But I can take care of myself, and anyone else that comes along,” she glanced back towards the fridge. “I am gonna have my way with that leftover cake, though.”

-

Ever since Crystal and Jan had embarked on this unusual adventure, they had gotten closer. And they needed it, considering they had both been driving themselves crazy trying to pull off this scheme while they were in the midst of taking their finals. The end was around the corner, but trying to get through the final stretch left them tense and exhausted. So when they didn’t want to bother their respective love interests, they turned to each other.

“I keep thinking about what Gigi said,” Jan admitted as she passed the joint back to Crystal. She had never considered herself any sort of smoker, but Crystal was so comfortable with weed that it didn’t seem so scary, and it had actually become something that helped her unwind as well.

Crystal furrowed her brows as she took a hit, letting the smoke billow out in an O shape. “What? About you not getting laid because you’re always in your feelings about Nicky?”

“That’s one way to put it, yeah,” Jan chuckled softly, laying her head in Crystal’s lap. “Am I limiting myself just because of my feelings? It’d be different if we were in an actual relationship but… I don’t know. Have you hooked up with anyone since you realized you have a crush on Gigi?”

Crystal had to stop and think about it. “I… guess not, actually. Maybe that’s why we’ve been so fucking weird about all of this,” she mused.

Jan propped her feet up against the wall. “You think if we found someone to have a one-night stand with, we’d be able to get through finals, graduation, and the fake wedding with our sanity intact?”

“I dunno, I’m not a doctor,” Crystal shrugged. “But I do know sex releases endorphins and shit, like, all that good energy and stuff,” she mused and passed the joint back to Jan.

“Ugh, finding a good hookup is so much work,” she whined and took a hit, then gave it back to Crystal to finish off.

Crystal rolled her eyes affectionately as she finished it off. “I mean, it can’t be that hard for you, looking like that.”

“Just being a lesbian makes it hard, Crystal. You know that.” Jan huffed dramatically, then looked up at her. “I think we should make out.” It was the perfect solution, wasn’t it? If it was her, it wouldn’t count.

“Do you?” Crystal wasn’t as surprised by the suggestion as she thought she’d be, nor was she terribly put off by it. She and Jan were close, and they were going through the same struggles. Maybe this was what they needed to let off some steam. “Yeah, okay, I’m into it.”

Jan sat up, then moved onto Crystal’s lap. She rested her hands on the back of her head, fingers tangling in the mess of curly hair as their lips collided in a languid kiss. The lingering taste of pot was in their mouths, and Jan swore kissing her made her even more high.

Crystal loved the way Jan felt on top of her. She was soft and warm and she smelled so nice. Her arms looked around Jan’s waist, holding her close as the kiss deepened, their tongues intertwining.

“You’re a good kisser,” Jan observed when she came up for air, their foreheads still resting together. She then sat back, noticing Crystal’s grin and downcast gaze. “What?”

“Hm?” Crystal looked back up, her eyes a bit bloodshot and glossed over, but still full of the lighthearted joy that’d always been distinct to her. “Oh, I was just looking at your tits. They’re really nice,” she explained.

Jan snorted with laughter, then rested her head on Crystal’s shoulder as she giggled some more. “You’re such a perv!”

“You can’t call me a perv,” she pouted as if she took sincere offense, “it was your idea to start making out, you can’t fault me for getting more into it, especially when you know I get hornier when I’m high,” she defended.

“Oh my god,” Jan sat back upright, shaking her head. “Sometimes I forget that there’s a horndog underneath that quirky art student facade,” she teased.

Crystal shrugged, placing kisses up Jan’s chest and neck, then up her jaw until she lightly nipped at her earlobe. “I’m enigmatic, Jan. Get into it,” she cooed as her hands ran up and down Jan’s sides, making her tank top rise up a couple of inches, then shifted to playfully bite Jan’s bottom lip.

“You sure are something,” Jan chuckled before connecting their lips in another kiss. “You’re lucky I’m so touch-starved,” she added as she took her top off.

Crystal’s face lit up like an excited child. “Whatever you say,” she hummed, her hands moving right to Jan’s breasts, happily groping them over the purple lace of her bra as they went right back to their deep, relaxed kissing.

Jan took Crystal’s t-shirt off next, looking down at her bare chest. “I keep forgetting that you have your nipple pierced. It’s so pretty,” she remarked, lightly pinching and teasing it, rubbing it between her fingers. She had started to zone out, and it wasn’t until Crystal started moaning that she was brought back down to earth. “Guess it makes things more intense, huh?”

“Yeah,” she exhaled, “and we’re gonna end up doing a lot more than making out if you keep that up.”

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but threatening to fuck me isn’t exactly… a threat,” Jan smirked as she continued toying with her nipple and the piercing.

Crystal pushed Jan onto the bed and pounced on top of her. It wasn’t in a dominant way, if anything, it bordered on playful. She kissed Jan heatedly, her hands haphazardly fumbling to get her bra off, smiling to herself when she finally tossed it onto the floor. She trailed her lips down Jan’s neck, starting to nip at the skin until Jan grabbed her shoulder.

“Nothing above the bust,” she murmured.

Crystal obliged, instead of leaving a hickey on the underside of Jan’s breast, then let her tongue flick across and swirl around her nipple. She then rolled the two of them onto their sides, making it easier for her to tug off Jan’s shorts. “You have a great ass too,” she remarked, reaching her hand around and grabbing onto it.

“You think so? I’ve actually always been jealous of yours,” Jan told Crystal as she tugged her shorts off too. “It’s so cute and perky,” she hummed, squeezing it with both hands.

“We’re clearly both super hot,” Crystal observed. “Like, I bet people would pay to watch us fuck,” she mused as she slid her hand into Jan’s panties and began circling her clit with two fingers.

“Mhm,” Jan moaned instead of properly replying, tugging Crystal’s boyshorts down and moving her hand between her thighs to do the same. “Fuck, you’re so wet. That piercing really does make your nipple sensitive, huh?”

Crystal grunted softly and rutted against Jan’s fingers. “You’re just jealous you have to work harder to get turned on,” she retorted as she eased a finger into her.

“Seem to be doing just fine right now aren’t I?” Jan hummed between moans. The two of them mirrored each other’s movements, whimpering and moaning as their fingers steadily thrust into each other, thumbs rubbing uneven circles against each other’s clits.

And then it started to turn into a competition, the two of them trying to get the other to come first. Eventually, Jan won, smirking in satisfaction as she felt her friend clench around her fingers. But she didn’t last much longer, gasping out sharply as she came.

Once they were both spent, they lay calmly in bed, cuddled up to each other. “Do you feel any better?” Jan asked.

“I think so, actually,” Crystal mused. “The feelings are still there, but they don’t seem so scary, you know?”

Jan nodded. “I don’t feel so overwhelmed,” she agreed, then leaned up and kissed her cheek. “Thanks, you’re such a good friend.”

Crystal beamed and held her close. “And don’t you forget it.”

-

Heidi stared blankly at Jan after hearing the rundown of her situation. “So… You lied to your French not-girlfriend by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding that isn’t real, but Crystal has a big ol’ crush on Gigi, and now the three of y’all are staging a whole ass fake wedding while you’re still taking finals?”

“I only have one final left,” Jan defended, rubbing the back of her neck. “Also, last night Crystal and I got high and had sex.”

She blinked slowly. “First of all, why the fuck are you telling me this?”

“Because if I told Jackie, she would keep trying to solve the problem and be all lecture-y about it. And like, I know you’re gonna judge me too, but at least I don’t feel as stupid when you do it.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that,” Heidi murmured. “Second of all, what the fuck are you gonna do when Nicky comes out here. You just gonna be like ‘sike, gotcha!’ or something?”

Jan sighed and looked down at her cup, sipping from it for a couple of moments. “I don’t know, honestly. I was thinking of telling her that Gigi and Crystal decided to postpone it because they’re too young. That makes sense, right?”

Heidi shrugged. “Well, I don’t have any better ideas,” she admitted, then furrowed her brows. “Wait, why did you have sex with Crystal? Am I missing something here?”

“Because we’ve both been losing sleep and getting super stressed over everything piling up, and neither of us wanted to go through the process of finding another girl to hook up with. So, we just… had each other. It’s not gonna make things weird, our friendship isn’t like that,” Jan explained as she finished her drink.

“Damn, I need to find me a friend like that,” she chuckled, finishing her drink as well. “Do I at least get an invite to the fake wedding?”

Jan laughed softly. “Yeah, you’re totally fake invited to the fake wedding.”

Heidi beamed brightly. “Thank you. Hey, can I see a picture of your little croissant boo? I wanna see what the hell’s causing all of this fuss.”

“Oh, yeah, here, she just sent me her new headshots,” Jan hummed, getting her phone out and pulling the pictures up before handing her phone over.

She studied the pictures thoughtfully, nodding slowly. “Okay, yeah, I get it. I’d throw my closest friends into a whirlwind of chaos over that too,” she decided, handing the phone back to Jan. “I think you should tell her how you feel before she gets here, though.”

Jan tilted her head as she put her phone away. “You do? Why?”

“Think about it, if she feels the same, you guys will be distracted and shacked up in your room, and maybe she’ll forget about the whole thing. And if she doesn’t, you can throw out the whole plan ‘cause it won’t matter. It’s a win-win, how has this not occurred to you?”

There was silence as Jan chewed her lip, mulling it over. “I… Yeah, I guess you have a point. I don’t know.” She exhaled deeply and looked up to the sky. “I’ll think about it.”

[missjanjie]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered | (4/?)

Title: Signed, Sealed, Delivered Summary:   Jan is in love with her French pen pal, Nicky. Her roommate, Crystal, is in love with her best friend, Gigi. A (perhaps ill-thought out) plan emerges: give Nicky a reason to visit by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding. With a month to pull the scheme together, no one knows how this will end up. Word Count: ~2.9k (this chapter) / ~11.6k (total) Relationship(s): Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode, Sportsmethyd (Jan Sport/Crystal Methyd) Rating: E

Read on AO3

Crystal was excited for today; it was probably the best part of pretending to be engaged, enough to make her wonder why she hadn’t thought of this sooner. Today, she and Gigi were going wedding cake testing. They had lined up three different bakeries after finding out which ones didn’t charge for the consultation, and they had just arrived at bakery number one.

“I’m not very picky about flavor or anything, I’ll try whatever you recommend,” Crystal was saying. “However, my wife-to-be here especially loves red velvet, but doesn’t really like chocolate, which is weird to me, but we’ll probably go with what she wants.”

When the baker went into the kitchen, Gigi turned to Crystal with a surprised expression. “How did you know my cake preferences?”

Crystal shrugged. “You’ve mentioned it a couple of times, and I know you always get excited when they have red velvet muffins in the dining hall.”

“Oh,” Gigi felt a fluttering in her heart that she couldn’t – or rather wouldn’t – explain. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked down. “Well, you’re more observant than I give you credit for, then.”

“I get that a lot,” she mused, then sat upright when the test slices were brought out. She tried to listen to the descriptions, but she was practically salivating and dug in as soon as she could. “Now the texture of this is really nice, I like how it brings out the subtle flavor notes.”

Gigi covered her mouth to hide a laugh. “You’ll have to excuse her, she binge-watched Cake Wars last night,” she explained, gently patting Crystal’s thigh. After that, they got through the rest of the tasting without incident, and they told the baker they’d be in touch and left with the leftovers (that they hid in Gigi’s oversized purse so they could go and do the same at the next two bakeries).

Crystal patted her stomach in satisfaction as they made their way back to her apartment. “I can’t believe we never thought to pull a stunt like this before. It’s like telling the waiter it’s your birthday so they give you free ice cream or something,” she mused.

“I feel kinda bad though, we should order something from those places. Just, you know, not a wedding cake,�� she added.

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Crystal readily agreed. “So, did you hear back from your friend about doing a photoshoot?”

Gigi nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me, actually. Does Saturday afternoon work for you?”

She nodded. “Totally. How’s it gonna work? Like, are we gonna be in our dresses, or is it gonna be something different? I don’t know how this works.”

“We’ll do some in the dresses, some in different outfits. It’ll give me the motivation to finish the fucking thing so I don’t try to pull an all-nighter right before it’s due,” she decided. As they kept walking, her hand kept brushing against Crystal’s, until she just caved and held her hand. It wasn’t like she hadn’t before, but it felt different this time. Holding Crystal’s hand had never made her heart skip a beat before, and she was yet to figure out how much she liked that.

It was different for Crystal. She already knew how she felt, and maybe that made it easier for her. She could allow herself to just appreciate the small act of affection, even though she did have to look away when she started smiling too wide. She probably wouldn’t try to overanalyze it until she was alone, at least. All she could do at the moment was appreciate being close to her, as it never seemed she could get close enough.

They’d both stopped thinking about it by the time they got home, and Crystal put the cake in the fridge, shooing away the cat at her feet. “Not a chance, Tic Tac, the vet already says you’re getting too fat.”

“Don’t body-shame her,” Gigi playfully chastised.

“I’m just being a concerned mother,” Crystal insisted, then looked over towards Jan’s room. She heard her voice, but couldn’t distinguish the words. “Ah, she must be working on the French song.”

Gigi tilted her head. “I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and assume it’s for Nicky, huh?” She let out a small laugh, though not in a mean way. “She’s… really crazy about her, huh?”

Jan came out of the room before Crystal could answer. “Hey, guys. How did the cake tasting go?”

“Great, there are leftovers in the fridge if you wanna pick at them,” Crystal offered. “How’s your song coming along? What’s it called again?”

“It’s called Aimé by Loane. I haven’t looked up the English translation, I feel like that kind of ruins it, you know? But when I heard it, it just made me think of Nicky, like deep in my heart, I just know it works,” Jan explained.

Gigi chewed on her lip, fighting back her words until she couldn’t anymore. “I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. How can you be so head over heels over someone you’ve never been in the same room with?”

Jan didn’t seem terribly bothered by this question, it wasn’t a new one to her. “She’s not written in braille, Gigi. I don’t need to touch her to know her.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve got an emotional connection,” Gigi assured. “But have you even been with anyone since you guys started talking? Or are you really saving yourself for someone across the ocean? We all crave physical intimacy, you know?”

“Are you coming onto me?” Jan asked in an attempt to deflect. She glanced over at Crystal, whose face said ‘don’t you dare.’ to which she silently conveyed ‘I would never.’

Gigi didn’t notice any of that, just laughing it off. “I’m just saying you shouldn’t deprive yourself because you’re too busy pining to get laid.”

Jan chuckled softly. “I appreciate your concern about my sexual wellbeing, Geege. But I can take care of myself, and anyone else that comes along,” she glanced back towards the fridge. “I am gonna have my way with that leftover cake, though.”

------

Ever since Crystal and Jan had embarked on this unusual adventure, they had gotten closer. And they needed it, considering they had both been driving themselves crazy trying to pull off this scheme while they were in the midst of taking their finals. The end was around the corner, but trying to get through the final stretch left them tense and exhausted. So when they didn’t want to bother their respective love interests, they turned to each other.

“I keep thinking about what Gigi said,” Jan admitted as she passed the joint back to Crystal. She had never considered herself any sort of smoker, but Crystal was so comfortable with weed that it didn’t seem so scary, and it had actually become something that helped her unwind as well.

Crystal furrowed her brows as she took a hit, letting the smoke billow out in an O shape. “What? About you not getting laid because you’re always in your feelings about Nicky?”

“That’s one way to put it, yeah,” Jan chuckled softly, laying her head in Crystal’s lap. “Am I limiting myself just because of my feelings? It’d be different if we were in an actual relationship but… I don’t know. Have you hooked up with anyone since you realized you have a crush on Gigi?”

Crystal had to stop and think about it. “I… guess not, actually. Maybe that’s why we’ve been so fucking weird about all of this,” she mused.

Jan propped her feet up against the wall. “You think if we found someone to have a one-night stand with, we’d be able to get through finals, graduation, and the fake wedding with our sanity intact?”

“I dunno, I’m not a doctor,” Crystal shrugged. “But I do know sex releases endorphins and shit, like, all that good energy and stuff,” she mused and passed the joint back to Jan.

“Ugh, finding a good hookup is so much work,” she whined and took a hit, then gave it back to Crystal to finish off.

Crystal rolled her eyes affectionately as she finished it off. “I mean, it can’t be that hard for you, looking like that.”

“Just being a lesbian makes it hard, Crystal. You know that.” Jan huffed dramatically, then looked up at her. “I think we should make out.” It was the perfect solution, wasn’t it? If it was her, it wouldn’t count.

“Do you?” Crystal wasn’t as surprised by the suggestion as she thought she’d be, nor was she terribly put off by it. She and Jan were close, and they were going through the same struggles. Maybe this was what they needed to let off some steam. “Yeah, okay, I’m into it.”

Jan sat up, then moved onto Crystal’s lap. She rested her hands on the back of her head, fingers tangling in the mess of curly hair as their lips collided in a languid kiss. The lingering taste of pot was in their mouths, and Jan swore kissing her made her even more high.

Crystal loved the way Jan felt on top of her. She was soft and warm and she smelled so nice. Her arms looked around Jan’s waist, holding her close as the kiss deepened, their tongues intertwining.

“You’re a good kisser,” Jan observed when she came up for air, their foreheads still resting together. She then sat back, noticing Crystal’s grin and downcast gaze. “What?”

“Hm?” Crystal looked back up, her eyes a bit bloodshot and glossed over, but still full of the lighthearted joy that’d always been distinct to her. “Oh, I was just looking at your tits. They’re really nice,” she explained.

Jan snorted with laughter, then rested her head on Crystal’s shoulder as she giggled some more. “You’re such a perv!”

“You can’t call me a perv,” she pouted as if she took sincere offense, “it was your idea to start making out, you can’t fault me for getting more into it, especially when you know I get hornier when I’m high,” she defended.

“Oh my god,” Jan sat back upright, shaking her head. “Sometimes I forget that there’s a horndog underneath that quirky art student facade,” she teased.

Crystal shrugged, placing kisses up Jan’s chest and neck, then up her jaw until she lightly nipped at her earlobe. “I’m enigmatic, Jan. Get into it,” she cooed as her hands ran up and down Jan’s sides, making her tank top rise up a couple of inches, then shifted to playfully bite Jan’s bottom lip.

“You sure are something,” Jan chuckled before connecting their lips in another kiss. “You’re lucky I’m so touch-starved,” she added as she took her top off.

Crystal’s face lit up like an excited child. “Whatever you say,” she hummed, her hands moving right to Jan’s breasts, happily groping them over the purple lace of her bra as they went right back to their deep, relaxed kissing.

Jan took Crystal’s t-shirt off next, looking down at her bare chest. “I keep forgetting that you have your nipple pierced. It’s so pretty,” she remarked, lightly pinching and teasing it, rubbing it between her fingers. She had started to zone out, and it wasn’t until Crystal started moaning that she was brought back down to earth. “Guess it makes things more intense, huh?”

“Yeah,” she exhaled, “and we’re gonna end up doing a lot more than making out if you keep that up.”

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but threatening to fuck me isn’t exactly… a threat,” Jan smirked as she continued toying with her nipple and the piercing.

Crystal pushed Jan onto the bed and pounced on top of her. It wasn’t in a dominant way, if anything, it bordered on playful. She kissed Jan heatedly, her hands haphazardly fumbling to get her bra off, smiling to herself when she finally tossed it onto the floor. She trailed her lips down Jan’s neck, starting to nip at the skin until Jan grabbed her shoulder.

“Nothing above the bust,” she murmured.

Crystal obliged, instead of leaving a hickey on the underside of Jan’s breast, then let her tongue flick across and swirl around her nipple. She then rolled the two of them onto their sides, making it easier for her to tug off Jan’s shorts. “You have a great ass too,” she remarked, reaching her hand around and grabbing onto it.

“You think so? I’ve actually always been jealous of yours,” Jan told Crystal as she tugged her shorts off too. “It’s so cute and perky,” she hummed, squeezing it with both hands.

“We’re clearly both super hot,” Crystal observed. “Like, I bet people would pay to watch us fuck,” she mused as she slid her hand into Jan’s panties and began circling her clit with two fingers.

“Mhm,” Jan moaned instead of properly replying, tugging Crystal’s boyshorts down and moving her hand between her thighs to do the same. “Fuck, you’re so wet. That piercing really does make your nipple sensitive, huh?”

Crystal grunted softly and rutted against Jan’s fingers. “You’re just jealous you have to work harder to get turned on,” she retorted as she eased a finger into her.

“Seem to be doing just fine right now aren’t I?” Jan hummed between moans. The two of them mirrored each other’s movements, whimpering and moaning as their fingers steadily thrust into each other, thumbs rubbing uneven circles against each other’s clits.

And then it started to turn into a competition, the two of them trying to get the other to come first. Eventually, Jan won, smirking in satisfaction as she felt her friend clench around her fingers. But she didn’t last much longer, gasping out sharply as she came.

Once they were both spent, they lay calmly in bed, cuddled up to each other. “Do you feel any better?” Jan asked.

“I think so, actually,” Crystal mused. “The feelings are still there, but they don’t seem so scary, you know?”

Jan nodded. “I don’t feel so overwhelmed,” she agreed, then leaned up and kissed her cheek. “Thanks, you’re such a good friend.”

Crystal beamed and held her close. “And don’t you forget it.”

------

Heidi stared blankly at Jan after hearing the rundown of her situation. “So… You lied to your French not-girlfriend by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding that isn’t real, but Crystal has a big ol’ crush on Gigi, and now the three of y’all are staging a whole ass fake wedding while you’re still taking finals?”

“I only have one final left,” Jan defended, rubbing the back of her neck. “Also, last night Crystal and I got high and had sex.”

She blinked slowly. “First of all, why the fuck are you telling me this?”

“Because if I told Jackie, she would keep trying to solve the problem and be all lecture-y about it. And like, I know you’re gonna judge me too, but at least I don’t feel as stupid when you do it.”

“I feel like I should be offended by that,” Heidi murmured. “Second of all, what the fuck are you gonna do when Nicky comes out here. You just gonna be like ‘sike, gotcha!’ or something?”

Jan sighed and looked down at her cup, sipping from it for a couple of moments. “I don’t know, honestly. I was thinking of telling her that Gigi and Crystal decided to postpone it because they’re too young. That makes sense, right?”

Heidi shrugged. “Well, I don’t have any better ideas,” she admitted, then furrowed her brows. “Wait, why did you have sex with Crystal? Am I missing something here?”

“Because we’ve both been losing sleep and getting super stressed over everything piling up, and neither of us wanted to go through the process of finding another girl to hook up with. So, we just… had each other. It’s not gonna make things weird, our friendship isn’t like that,” Jan explained as she finished her drink.

“Damn, I need to find me a friend like that,” she chuckled, finishing her drink as well. “Do I at least get an invite to the fake wedding?”

Jan laughed softly. “Yeah, you’re totally fake invited to the fake wedding.”

Heidi beamed brightly. “Thank you. Hey, can I see a picture of your little croissant boo? I wanna see what the hell’s causing all of this fuss.”

“Oh, yeah, here, she just sent me her new headshots,” Jan hummed, getting her phone out and pulling the pictures up before handing her phone over.

She studied the pictures thoughtfully, nodding slowly. “Okay, yeah, I get it. I’d throw my closest friends into a whirlwind of chaos over that too,” she decided, handing the phone back to Jan. “I think you should tell her how you feel before she gets here, though.”

Jan tilted her head as she put her phone away. “You do? Why?”

“Think about it, if she feels the same, you guys will be distracted and shacked up in your room, and maybe she’ll forget about the whole thing. And if she doesn’t, you can throw out the whole plan ‘cause it won’t matter. It’s a win-win, how has this not occurred to you?”

There was silence as Jan chewed her lip, mulling it over. “I… Yeah, I guess you have a point. I don’t know.” She exhaled deeply and looked up to the sky. “I’ll think about it.”

[noladyme]

Skip To My Lou, My Darling - Chapter 6, Beware My Frozen Heart I

The road so far���

Finding out that their connection is real, and not forced upon them by celestial powers, Dean and Lulu have embraced their feelings – and years of pining can now end. Now Dean must find a way to deal with Lulu’s decision to be a hunter, with the dangers that entails.

Our story continues in season 8

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added) @edonaspanca​ @wonderlandfandomkingdom​

I

63 years ago.

It’s so cold out here, but her feet are too sore to wear her shoes. Not that it matters anyway; they’re soaked from the snow. The crown is digging into her scalp, and she dropped her sash a mile back. She just needs her coat; and then she can go home. And maybe she misunderstood what the others told her. Maybe he’s alone, and just waiting for her.

There’s his car! She walks up to it, removes the crown from her head, and looks through the window. There he is… with her. Why her? And why are they…? No… The night is like a lovely tune. Beware my foolish heart. How white the ever-constant moon. Take care my foolish heart…

She drops the crown in the snow, and walks back towards the bridge. The dance is over.

---

I was splayed over Deans chest – my breath still ragged from my last climax. “Say it again”, Dean demanded. “I’ve already said it a hundred times”, I chuckled. “Just one more time… Please…”. “Led Zeppelin rules…”, I sighed. Dean squeezed me tight, and kissed the top of my head. “God, I love you”, he smiled.

There was a knock at the door. “Dean!”, Sam called. “Don’t come in, I’m busy!”, Dean answered. There was a pause. “Dude, just… have you seen Lulu? I can’t find her…”. “He said, he’s busy!”, I yelled. Dean snickered. There was another pause. “Ok… I’m just gonna… go now”, Sam replied. I heard him move down the hallway.

“We should get dressed…”, I said. “That’s the worst idea you’ve had all day”, Dean grunted, and locked his arms around me, so I couldn’t move. “Counting the one where I was about to sell my soul into eternal damnation?”, I smiled. He raised a brow at me. “That one’s a close second”, he muttered; his eyes slightly harder than they had been a second ago. “I’m still pissed about that”. I kissed his chest, and wriggled my body out of his grasp. “I’m sure I can find about a thousand other things to piss you off, that I’ve done, and will do”, I smiled, and crawled out of the bed, in search of my underwear.

Having put back on my panties, I found my bra draped over a shotgun on the wall. Dean handed me my jeans with an unhappy expression. “You know, I’m not happy about that whole vampire situation either”, he muttered, and pulled his boxers over his still very firm behind. “That wasn’t very smart”. “Tammy was there. She’s a good hunter”, I said. “She was also a demon”, Dean grunted; putting on his t-shirt. It was my turn to frown from the lack of skin he was showing. “I didn’t know that at the time”, I retorted. “And it turned out ok in the end”. He raised a brow at me. “That bandage on your neck says otherwise”, he sneered. “Can we just… not do this, for five minutes? Please?”, I sighed. Dean nodded, and the corner of his lips twitched into a smile.

As I stood up from having put on my boots, Dean’s arm snaked around my belly from behind, and he kissed the back of my head. “You wanna keep room 13? Or just settle in here...”. I frowned, and didn’t know how to answer in a way that he’d like. “Lou?”, he muttered. I sighed, and turned around; looking into his worried eyes. “I… can’t”, I said. Dean’s jaw dropped. “You said you wouldn’t leave”, he breathed. “And I’m not… not really”, I said. “But I still have to go do my job”. Dean shook his head in confusion. “Alone? No. You can work from here. Do research for us. It’d still be hunting”, he tried. I raised my brows. “Barefoot and hopefully not pregnant in the library? That’s where you see me?”, I asked. He shrugged. “You can use the switchboard room if you like it better”, he said. I stroked his cheek. “You know that’s not happening”, I smiled. “Dean, I’m…”. “Not ready. That’s what you are”. I sighed deeply. “Is this how it’s always going to be? Either we have sex, or we fight?”. “As long as you keep making crappy decisions, yeah!”, Dean grumbled.

I took his hand. “Look… I get that you worry about me. And I love that you do… But I’m not yours. I can make my own decisions”. “Thinking that I had the perfect woman specially built for me was kind of bigheaded”, Dean muttered. “Yeah, I know”, I smirked. “Like I’m not my own person with my own independent thoughts and choices”. Dean nodded a shrug. “You’re right”. “Like the choice to…”. “You’re not hunting alone”.

I let go of his hand, and went over to the door; sick of the conversation. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea”, he tried; as he followed me down the hallway, pulling on the flannel shirt he was carrying. “You’re never going to think it’s a good idea”, I chuckled, and took the shirt from him. “That’s mine, by the way”. “You’re right about that”, he muttered. “I won’t”.

We stepped into the library. Sam looked up from Bobby’s journal. “Already fighting again?”, he muttered. “She wants to go hunting alone”, Dean grunted. “Tell her it’s a bad idea!”. Sam looked between us. “I’m not getting involved”, he muttered.

“You finished with my book?”, I asked; trying to change the subject. “Yeah, I think I got all we could from it, while you two were… uhm… whatever”, Sam muttered. “I know it wasn’t any of my business, but I couldn’t help but look into the box you brought. What are you working on?”. I had almost forgot about my case. “Oh, uhm… some sort of white lady, I think. Maybe a weird phantom hitchhiker. I’m not sure”. “What have you got?”, Dean muttered.

I pulled up some old death records and articles. “Every year since 1950, like clockwork, young women disappear from lover’s lane, near Sioux Falls. People report to have seen a woman on the bridge nearby, on the day of the disappearings”. I pulled out a picture of teenaged girl. “She matches the description of this young woman, Annie Jones, who died that year, to a T. A few days later the women are found dead under the bridge, near where the first girl was found”. “Sure it’s not a serial killer?”, Sam asked. “A geriatric murderer? Bobby didn’t think so…”, I said. “This is his old case?”, Dean frowned. I nodded.

“Besides, freezing someone to death seems like a lot of work for a really old killer”. I handed Sam the pile of death records. He looked them over. “Hypothermia… Hypothermia again… All during springtime. Yeah, this seems like our kind of weird”, Sam muttered; letting Dean take a look over his shoulder. “Jodi had the box in her basement. Bobby had been trying to help her solve the case, but didn’t have a chance to finish it up”. “Great!”, Dean smiled. “You finish your research on this then. Stay here. We have wifi and coffee. You’ll be all set up! Me and Sam can go take this thing down”.

I shook my head. “It should be another 2 weeks or so before whatever this is happens again. I was just getting a head start”, I said. I looked at Sam. “Sam, come on… You packed that bag for me. You know I’m ready!”, I pleaded. “He what?”, Dean snarled. “Sam!”. He looked at his brother with angry eyes. “She’s gonna hunt either way. Been doing it for a year”, Sam said. “I just made sure she had the right equipment”.

Cass came in to the room, carrying a tray of steaming mugs, and some fruit. “I prepared some nourishment for you all. Sam has been working hard; and you two have been spending your energy on…”. “Yeah… thanks, Cass”, I muttered. “Did you hear what she’s planning to do?”, Dean said. Castiel nodded. “I have excellent hearing. Lulu is going to hunt. And she thinks Led Zeppelin rules”. Dean frowned. “And you think that’s a perfectly awesome idea?”, he grunted. “You spent months – years even – watching over her. And now you’re gonna just let her hunt alone?”. “He wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t asked him”, I sneered.

Castiel smiled softly. “Yes I would have, Lulu. You’re my friend. I want you safe”. Dean smiled. “Cass agrees. You’re not going”, he said. “Oh, I think she should go”, the angel said. “But not alone”. My jaw dropped. “What?”, I asked. “If Sam and Dean goes with you, you’ll be safer”, Castiel smiled. “But they have work here…”. Sam ran a hand over his tired face. “Actually, there’s not a lot we can do right now”, he said. “Kevin’s still working on the translation of the tablet. We might as well keep busy with something else”.

Dean seemed to think it over. “All right”, he exclaimed. “Guess we’re going to Sioux Falls”. I chewed my lip. “You weren’t exactly invited to the party…”, I muttered. “Suck it up. You’re not going without us”, Dean said. I rolled my eyes. “Lou, I will tie you up in our dungeon. Don’t test me”. His eyes were sending me a warning, that was half serious, half mischievous. “Maybe some other time”, I grunted; the corner of my lip twitching. “Fine”.

Dean’s face lit up. “Awesome! Whip out the Karate Kid soundtrack. Time for a training montage…”. “What?”, I frowned. “Lou, you wanna hunt? You gotta train first”. “What do you call the three demon-vampires I took out last night? And the ghosts I’ve been taking down all year…”. “Dumb luck”, he grunted. “And sloppy as hell”. I laughed sarcastically. “You want to fight me? Hand to hand combat?”, I asked. “Hell yeah. Test your skills”, Dean said smugly. “I’m gonna enjoy this”, I smirked.

---

About an hour later, Dean had me in the gym; testing my skills – and my patience.

“Again!”, he growled; after he’d nailed me to the wall, with his hands around my neck for the fifth time. I pushed him off me. “This isn’t fair”, I sneered. “Monsters don’t play fair”, Dean smirked. “Again!”. I took a stance in front of him; the baton he’d let me use as a stand in for a knife, in my hand. “That’s not what I mean”, I said; and jumped at him. He moved out of the way with a chuckle. “Too slow”, he smiled.

I let my shoulders drop, and threw the baton on the floor. “I’ve seen you fight; you know. And that’s what you’re doing now”. He began circling me. “You’re fighting as Dean Winchester – the great hunter. Not as a monster”. “Huh”, Dean grunted. “I like the sound of that…”. He sprang for me, and before I knew it, I was on the floor; and Dean was straddling me. “I’m sure you do”, I panted. “But this case isn’t even a monster. It’s a ghost”.

I was about to push him off me, when he grabbed my wrists, and pressed them down on either side of my head. “As much as I hate to admit it, ghosts are usually stronger than me – and as long as you can’t fight me of, you shouldn’t be hunting them”. “You’re still trying to turn me off this case…”, I sighed; struggling against his hold. His weight on me was sending very distracting thoughts through my head. He leant down to whisper in my ear. “Oh, sweetheart… I’ll be forever trying to turn you on…”. He sat back up. “But yeah. In this particular case, I still think you should stay here”. I pulled my arms upwards, making Dean lean over me again; his face close to mine. “You’re enjoying this too much”, I whispered. “And just for the record, my knee is dangerously close to your groin; I could just…”. I made to lift my knee; but Dean rolled of me. “Watch the jewels, Lou. We both want them safe”, he warned. With a swift move, I straddled him, as he had me. “On that, we agree”, I smirked.

Dean suddenly sat up, and his lips where on mine – kissing me with an almost insatiable hunger. I tried to push him off me; but he was too strong – and in all honesty, I was enjoying it. His arms where around me; holding me in place, and my own arms pinned down. “You’re gonna have to learn how to wrestle out of a move like this, if you want to hunt”, Dean growled. I began moving my hips, grinding against him. “I could always distract you…”, I breathed. “Not working”, Dean grunted. I bit my lip, and grinded again – this time letting out a soft moan. “Ok, it’s working a little bit”, he admitted with a grunt. “So how do I get out of it?”, I asked.

Suddenly, we were standing; Dean having lifted me off his lap, but still keeping me locked in his grasp. “With a vampire or a werewolf – or even a ghost – you wouldn’t. You’d be dead. At least with the moves you have now”, he said. He flipped me around, so my back was to him – and I felt his beginning erection pressing against my back. “With me…  Let’s just say, you might be able to persuade me without using violence”, he breathed into my hair.

I pushed out my bottom, to get him to take a small step back, leaving place for me to slide my hands behind my back, and take a hold of his hardness over his pants. Dean groaned slightly. I began gently squeezing it, and felt Dean loosen his hold on me. Just as I thought I was about to have the upper hand, he pushed me against the wall; making me brace myself with my hands in front of me. He grabbed my wrists, and held them over my head in one hand. He pressed himself against me again, and snaked his other hand in front of me; down my belly, to the waistband of my jeans – pausing there. I looked over my shoulder at him, and saw him search my eyes for consent. I gave him a slight nod; and with a mischievous smile, his fingertips slid behind the fabric, and ran through my curls.

I tried to pull my hands from his grasp, wanting desperately to touch him. “Nuh uh…”, Dean chuckled behind me. His knee went between my legs, so I was locked in place. “I’ve got you. You’re not going anywhere”. His fingers travelled down over my clit, ghosting the sensitive nub; and making me gasp. “You know, we should probably talk safe-words”, he smiled. “You think you’ll need them?”, I croaked; moving my hips to get him to touch me for real. Dean laughed gravelly. “Sweetheart, you are in for it”.

Suddenly, two of his fingers where inside me. He began pushing hard at my front wall, and rubbed at my nub with his palm. I pulled at my wrists; tried to get out of his hold on me – but he simply pushed me harder against the wall. His hand was thrusting and rubbing hard at me. “Push me off you”, he growled. I moaned a snarl, and gyrated to get free. “You’re stronger than this, Lou. Come on!”. “I… I don’t want to”, I whimpered. “You want me to have the upper hand? To win the fight?”, he chuckled. “No…”, I breathed; my insides beginning to clench around his fingers. “Then why aren’t you fighting me off?”, he teased. “I want… Oh, god!”, I pleaded.

Dean slowed down his movements inside me. “What are you doing?”, I whimpered. “Don’t stop”. He pulled out his fingers, and simply let them ghost my folds. “You’re giving up. Fight me!”, Dean demanded. “Dean! Please!”. “Earn it, baby”. With a roar, I used Dean’s hold on my wrists, to lift myself up; and press my feet against the wall. I kicked myself backwards, and we fell to the floor. Dean let go of my wrists, and I rolled away from him; getting on my feet.

“Good girl”, Dean smiled. “You won”. “Where’s my prize?”, I panted. “Your prize is; you won’t have to wait in the motel, while we take out the ghost”, he said; and stood up. “You can wait in the car. I’ll even crack a window”. I sighed. “You know, for a guy who haven’t even taken me on a proper date yet, you sure as hell feel entitled to tell me what to do”. “Lou, what do you want me to say?”, Dean shrugged. “We haven’t even been at this for an hour, and you’re already worn out”. “Am not…”, I lied. “I’m just… you know…”, I pouted. “What?”, he frowned.

I walked slowly towards him, biting my lip. “You just started something you didn’t finish… And I want you to finish it”. I put my hand on his chest; and he watched me intently, as I got on my toes, and tilted my head – brushing my lips against his. “You want…”. Dean swallowed hard. “I mean, we could take a break, and uhm…”. I caught his lower lip between my teeth, making him gasp.

I grabbed Deans hand, and turned around, so my back was to him again – as if I was trying to get back into the position we’d been in before. Felling his warm breath against my neck, I placed his hand over the top of my jeans; and ran my fingers up his arm. Grabbing a firm hold of his arm, with both my hands, I used my full bodyweight, to pull him forward – taking him by surprise – and making him land on the floor, on his back; with me on top of him. I rolled away from him, and got back on my feet.

“I think that just earned me a gold star!”, I smirked. Dean looked flabbergasted. “Where’d you learn that?”, he gasped. “WWE… Never tried it before though. Thanks for being my crash test dummy”, I smiled. Dean stood back up, and stretched. “Ow!”, he said. “Sorry”, I playfully pouted. “Want me to kiss it better?”. “You can’t flirt your way out of every situation!”, Dean growled. “And… yes”. I raised a brow at him. “Make me”, I smirked.

Dean chuckled sarcastically. “You’re going down!”. He sprang at me, and within seconds, I was on the floor; and Dean had his forearm against my neck. “I’d be happy to”, I croaked. “But Cass or Sam might walk in any second”. I grinded my hips against his. “Lou…”, Dean said warningly. “What?”, I whispered. “Am I doing something wrong?”. I slid my leg around his hip; and pulled him closer. The bulge on the front of Dean’s jeans gave away that I was doing everything right. “Is this how you plan on killing monsters?”, he asked; his voice breaking. “Grinding them to death?”. “Well, it seems to be taking your breath away”, I said; biting my lip. Dean shook his head, seemingly trying to focus on anything other than my mouth.

“Lulu!”, Sam called from down the hall. “Oh, thank God”, Dean croaked, and rolled of me. His brother joined us in the gym. “Thanks, Sam. I almost had him”, I frowned; and got to my feet. “Did not…”, Dean rasped, his back to us – discretely adjusting himself.

“It’s Jody. She wants to talk to you”, Sam said; and handed me my burner. “Jody?”, I said into the phone; smirking over my shoulder at Dean. “Lulu! You promised to call me!”, the sheriff said. “Sorry, ma’”, I smiled. “Please stop calling me that. I can feel my hair graying every time you do”. “Grey hair is hot. What’s up?”, I asked. “You’re with the guys?”, she said. “Yeah. I’m uhm… apparently in hunter boot-camp here”, I smirked. I heard Jody sigh. “Dean?” “Yup…”, I grunted. “Put me on speaker… now”.

I pressed the speaker button, and held up the phone. “Dean Winchester!”. “Hi, Jody”, Dean said warily. “Would you pull your head out of your ass, boy? Do you have any idea what this young woman has been doing for the last year?”, Jody snarled. “Jody, I’m just…”, Dean began. “Being a dick, that’s what you are… Get over yourself!”. I grinned at the frowning man who was currently getting his ass handed to him over the phone. “You hearing me? Dean?”. “Yes ma’am”, Dean muttered. “But did Sam happen to tell you what she did yesterday?”. “No, what?”. Dean smirked at me. “She ran straight at a nest of vampires with nothing but a machete and a minidress to protect her”. There was a pause. “How many did you take out, Lulu?”, Jody asked. “Three”, I muttered. “Good job… And don’t ever do that again! Are you crazy? You’re not ready for that!”. Thanks, I mouthed at Dean. He sent me the widest grin I’d seen on his face to date. “Sorry, Jody”, I said. “But why’d you call? Other than to yell at us?”.

She paused before continuing. “There’s been another one. Young woman, found under the bridge”. “That’s too soon!”, I gasped. “I know… How far are you with that research?”, Jody said. “I’m still working on it…”, I admitted. Sam clenched his jaw. “We’re on our way, Jody. Be there as soon as possible”. “Sounds good. See you then”, the sheriff said, and hung up.

I shook my head. “This is too soon. What the hell? Ghosts don’t usually change their MO…”, I muttered. “And this had been going on for more than 50 years”. “We’ll figure it out”, Sam smiled.

---

After packing up, we left the bunker – and Castiel – behind, to drive to South Dakota. Dean was still grumbling over the fact that I insisted on coming along. “This is my case. You’re the tag-along here”, I pointed out, as I dropped my bag in the trunk. Sam put the box of papers and records in there as well. “She’s not wrong, Dean”, he smiled. “And from what I’ve seen, Lulu’s done a damn good job on the research so far”. Dean frowned and dropped his own bag next to mine and Sam’s. “What about interviews? Have you done any of those yet?”, he grunted. “Didn’t have time to get to those, before Cass showed up for my book”, I said.

Sam had given me back Bobby’s journal, which was now safely stored in my backpack. The iron knife Sam had given me was stored in the pocket in my jacket I’d sown in for my angel blade; and I had a bag of salt in my pocket. I was more than ready to get this show on the road.

I went to get in the back seat, when Sam halted me. “Do you mind? I haven’t slept in two days”, he said, his face almost grey with exhaustion. “Sure”, I smiled, and went to sit in the front passenger seat, next to a smiling Dean. “Sammy!”, he chuckled. “You got short… and hot!”. “Shut up”, his brother responded from behind us.

After a few hours of driving, Dean put his arm on the backrest, and invited me in to cuddle up against him. It didn’t take much coaxing to accept – and soon I was leaning against his shoulder; sighing contently. A small snore came from the back seat; and I looked over my shoulder – smiling at the sight of the 6’4 man sleeping like a baby behind us. Dean glanced down at me, and licked his lower lip. “You know, he’s out cold…”, he muttered quietly. I looked questioningly at him, as he raised a brow at me. Only then did I realize what he was implying. “No! Not happening”, I said pointedly. Dean pouted playfully. “We could be really quiet…”, he whispered. I pulled back from his grasp, and chuckled. “Forget it”, I grunted. “Lou…”. “The lady said no!”, Sam snarled from the back seat.

Dean cleared his throat embarrassedly, and I squeezed his thigh gently, before winking at him. He smiled crookedly, and stroked his index finger down my jaw.

“How far are we from Sioux Falls?”, Sam yawned. “About two hours out. You can still get some shuteye”, I said; looking back at him. He raised a brow at the back of his brothers head. “Not taking that chance”, he muttered. He grabbed the thermos of coffee, and poured himself a cup, downing it in one go. “Cold”, he frowned. “Want me to make a stop?”, Dean said. “No, just turn on some music”, Sam groaned; and tried to stretch his long legs out.

I searched the glove compartment for a good tape, and smiled brightly when I stumbled across one labeled Lou. I looked Dean with a warm pouting smile. “Not that one!”, he said, and tried to snatch it from me. I smacked his hand away, and slid it into the radio.

“Lying in your arms, so close together…”.

Sam chuckled from the back seat. “Shut it”, Dean growled. I smiled at him, and caught him looking at me from the corner of his eye; a warm smirk ghosting his face. “Made a mistake, when I let you go, baby. I drive myself crazy, wanting you the way that I do”, I whispered along to the song. The next song was Landslide, by Fleetwood Mac. “How much time did you spend on this?”, I muttered. Dean didn’t answer, but I saw his cheeks redden. “He was on lockdown for three days”, Sam smirked. “I will turn this car around!”, Dean growled. I shook my head. “Behave… both of you”, I said. Sam cleared his throat, and looked out the window; stifling a grin.

When we finally arrived outside Sioux Falls PD, we’d gone through the tape three times – listening to the greatest hits of Lou and Dean. It included Ramones’ version of Spiderman; Ozzy Osbourne’s Crazy Train; Bon Jovi’s Bad Medicine; AC/DC’s It’s a Long Way to the Top – during which Dean muttered something about a girl he once knew, who’d flashed Angus Young at a concert – and finally, for some reason, Cherry Pie by Warrant.

Jody looked up from some papers on her desk, when we entered the station. “Miss Timberlake…”, she muttered with a half-smile. “You owe me 100 bucks for that motel bill you skipped out on”. I gave my friend a warm hug. Dean sent me a look. “Timberlake?”, he grunted. “Save it, John Bonham”, she grunted, before pulling him in for a hug. She patted Sam’s cheek after hugging him. “You look like death run over. What’s wrong?”. “Been working… Not getting much sleep”. Jody raised her brows. “You need to take better care of yourselves”, she said; before putting her fingertips against the bandage on my neck. “All of you!”, she grunted.

“The girl”, I said, cutting to the chase. “She was found under the bridge”. “Yeah”, the sheriff frowned. “Icy cold. Three days after being crowned prom queen”. “Poor girl”, I muttered. “She’s not the first prom queen to go out the same way, though, is she?”. “Well, you have the records. Weren’t they all?”, she asked. “No… Only some of them”, I said.

An officer looked in our direction; frowning. “You three should go… somewhere else”, Jody said. “Ghosty stuff isn’t a good topic here”. “We’ll set up at a motel. Let you know where we’re at”, Dean said. “You’re welcome to use my house…”, Jody offered. “That nosy neighbor of yours gonna be good with that?”, I smirked; remembering Mrs. Boone, who’d shown up at all hours of the day, when she found out Jody had me crashing on her couch. “Good point”, she smiled. “But pick a different motel. The 6 is pissed at you”, she said, cocking a brow at me. “Right…”, I winced. “See you later?”. Jody nodded, and waved us away; suddenly looking angry. “I told you!”, she said loudly. “We have no comments for the media as of now!”. “Sorry, sheriff”, Dean smiled. “We’ll be on our way”.

We got back in the Impala, and made our way to a motel just outside town. Dean was pouting when he came back from the front desk. “They only have one room”, he grunted; and handed Sam the key. His brother just shook his head, and went to unlock the door. “So much for privacy”, Dean muttered to me. “We’re here to work”, I retorted. He looked at me in almost anguish. “Lou…”, he groaned. I intertwined my fingers with his, and kissed his stubbly cheek. “Dead girl. Ghosts. Work”, I said. “Move the car”. “You move the car”, he frowned. “Ok!”, I smiled; longing to get my hands on the Impala. Deans eyes widened. “Wait, no. Scratch that. You just… go to the room”. I rolled my eyes, and walked over to our temporary accommodations.

A few minutes later, Sam was draped across one of the beds in our shared room. Dean came in with his and my bag. “Dude, you look like crap. We can go check out that bridge later”, he said. “Get some sleep”. “Actually, I was gonna go that”, I said. “You’re welcome to join”. I smirked at the frowning older brother. “You were going to go… alone?”, he said. “Not if you’re coming with”, I shrugged. He muttered something below his breath. “Fine, let’s go. You good with this, Sam?”. Sam wasn’t answering. He was out cold.

---

About an hour later, Dean and I were scouting the area around where the last girl had been found. Dean was just hanging up on Jody, when he came over to join me, where I was crouching over a patch of grass that seemed to have suffered from frost bite. “Jody’s meeting up with Sam at the motel in a few”. “Huh…”, I muttered. “EMF? I don’t have one”. Dean handed me his own. “Of course you don’t…”, he grunted. “Dean…”, I warned. He sighed, and watched as I turned on the meter. It instantly reacted slightly, though not as it would, had there been a spirit present at the moment. This was residue. “Good. You found out it’s a ghost. Now what?”. “You tell me, Mr. Hunter Man…”, I jeered. “You’re the expert”. “No, please. Be my guest. You seem to have this thing down”.

I stood up. “I’m going up to the bridge. No one’s reported seeing the ghost this time around. It’s all out of wack”. “Ok, let’s go”, Dean said, and reached for my hand. I walked ahead of him before he could grab it. “What?”, he asked. “You’re being a jerk, Dean”, I sneered. “I’m trying to do my job here, but it’s really hard, when you keep riding my ass on everything I say and do”. His gaze softened. “I’m sorry”, he muttered. “You’re right. Let’s try to figure this thing out”. “Yeah?”, I asked. He nodded. “Yeah. Do your job. Tell me how I can help”, he tried with a crooked smile. It was almost endearing. “I want to scan the bridge. See if there are any spirits around”, I sighed. “After that, I want to check out the lover’s lane”. Dean’s face lit up. “For ghosts, you horn-dog!”, I chuckled. “Oh”, he grumbled. “Fine”.

The bridge didn’t give away any readings for spirits; confusing me even further. Dean took off his jacket, and threw it into the car. “Kind of hot for April”, he grunted. “Yeah”, I agreed. “That girl still died from hypothermia, though. It has to be connected to that spirit. But she died in early May. So why freeze to death? And why are the dates suddenly different?”. Dean shrugged. “You’re the brains in this operation. I’m just the brawns”, he smiled. I walked over to him, and patted his chest. “You do a great job of that”, I smirked. “Come on. Take me to lover’s lane, stud”.

The sun was beginning to set as Dean parked the Impala a few miles away from the bridge. Markings on the ground showed that this was a place many cars parked; when the people in them were searching for some privacy. There were trees around, making it possible for a couple to go about their business, without being spotted. I got out of the car, and scanned the area. Nothing. I frowned. “This brings me back”, Dean smirked. “To what?”, I asked, searching the ground for any trace of something that shouldn’t be there. He swallowed hard. “Uhm… Susan…”, he muttered; leaning against the Impala. “Farrow?”, I chuckled. He cleared his throat. “You remembered”, he said. “Yeah… Took her to another lover’s lane after prom”. I nodded and laughed.

I continued scanning the area around the car. Suddenly, Deans arms snaked around my waist; and he pressed himself against me. “It brings me back somewhere else as well”, he breathed, and kissed the top of my head. “Where’s that?”, I croaked, trying to focus on my task. “You… me… backseat”. He brushed my hair away from the back of my neck, and nibbled at my neck – sending waves of warmth to my core. “I’m trying to work”, I squeaked quietly. “There’s nothing here. Just us”, Dean whispered into my ear. “Come on… We have to share a room with my brother. Can’t we take a break, and just…”. He ran his finger across my jaw. “I guess…”, I breathed.

I turned around, and Dean pressed his lips to mine. As I parted my lips, and he gained entry to my mouth -brushing his tongue against mine – I was a whimpering mess. Dean scanned the area for company – and happy that we were, indeed, alone – he suddenly bent down, and threw me over his shoulder; and carried me back to the Impala. “Dean!”, I yelped. “Put me down”. He smacked my butt, and put me down; grabbing the EMF-meter from my hand, and throwing it through the open window, on the front seat. He opened the door to the back seat for me, and I got inside. Suddenly, I was flipped on my back, and Dean slammed the door behind him – crawling up to place himself between my legs.

I tugged at his t-shirt, and he pulled it off; letting me run my nails down his chest. “Lou”, he rasped. “Careful. I’ve been thinking about this all day. Don’t finish it before its even started”. “I knew I had you back in that gym”, I smirked. Dean’s pupils blew in remembrance. “Yeah”, he admitted; before pressing his lips against mine again.

Our tongues battled for dominance, and we made out like two teenagers. Pushing myself into a seated position, I quickly shed the layers on my torso, until I was left in my bra. Dean pulled down the cup from my right breast, and sucked my nipple into his mouth, making me gasp loudly. Frantically, I went for his belt; unbuckling it with shaking hands. “Foreplay?”, Dean grunted. “Skip it!”, I growled, and opened my own jeans, and pulling them down over my bottom. I kicked off one boot, and got my leg free, so I could pull down my panties as well; and my already glistening folds met the evening air. Dean ran a finger between my labia, and entered me slightly.

My eyes widened. “Wait!”, I cried out. “What?”, Dean asked in a startled voice. I pushed him off me, and leant over the back rest, reaching for the ignition, turning the key so the radio began playing. “She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman I had ever seen…”, Brian Johnson began singing. “Oh, baby”, Dean grinned. With a firm grab of my hips, he pulled me back onto the backseat; and pulled down his jeans �� freeing himself. I grabbed his erection, and guided it towards my entrance. Dean pushed into me with a strangled groan; and instantly began moving on top of me. I locked my leg around his hip, and rolled my hips to meet his movements.

The Impala’s mufflers got a run for their money, as the entire car was moving with us. We simultaneously kissed and laughed from the rocking of the vehicle. It wasn’t long before I noticed Deans face change into a more strained expression. “It’s ok”, I panted. “You can…”. “No”, he shook his head. “Not yet. You… oh, wow… you first”. I grabbed the back of his head, and kissed him deeply; before tilting my hips, making him stroke against the sensitive spot inside me. The strain on my back was uncomfortable, and when Dean saw my facial expression, he put his hand behind me, and pulled me up to straddle him. He leaned against the backrest, and I moved up and down on him; feeling him fill every inch of me. He put his thumb against my nub, and stroked it; while simultaneously massaging my left breast.

The fire in my belly was building, and before long, I saw white; and my walls clenched around his hardness. I came with a raspy moan, and Dean followed me soon after. I collapsed against his chest, and chuckled. “Wow…”, I grinned. “Uh huh”, Dean agreed. He put his hands on either side of my face, and kissed me gently.

Suddenly I heard a buzzing. Dean pulled back – his lips still puckered. “What’s that?”, I whispered. Dean patted my thighs to get off him, and I moved, letting him lean over to the front seat, and pick up the EMF. All the lights where blaring, and we looked at each other in wonder.

We quickly got cleaned up and dressed, and both got out of the car. The EMF-meter quieted down gradually, before going black again. “What the hell was that?”, I said. “I don’t know”, Dean frowned. “But we should get back to the motel”. I nodded, and we got back in the car.

As we neared the bridge, a thought struck me. “Prom…”, I muttered. “What?”, Dean asked. “The girl who died this time. She was prom queen. Three others were crowned queen as well”. Dean pondered my words. “You think the ghost has it out for prom queens?”. “No”, I said. “Not all of the victims were crowned. But they disappeared around prom night”. I slammed my palm against my forehead. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!”. Dean smiled. “You’re thinking of it now. It’s good work”. I chuckled. “Are you saying atta girl?”, I asked. “Something like that”, he shrugged, and squeezed my knee.

As we drove over the bridge, I picked up the EMP-meter, and turned it on. The sun was all the way down, and the bridge wasn’t lit up by anything, but the headlights of the Impala. Suddenly, a jolt went through my body, as the radio turned itself on; not playing the tape inserted – but instead letting a soft female voice begin a melancholic tune. “The night is like a lovely tune. Beware my foolish heart. How white the ever-constant moon. Take care my foolish heart”. The EMP-meter’s lights blared, and it began buzzing fiercely. “What’s happening?”, I muttered. “What kind of ghost messes with a man’s tunes?”, Dean growled. “Your lips are much too close to mine. Beware my foolish heart. But should our eager lips combine. Then let the fire start”.

“Dean!”, I yelled. He slammed the brakes, just as a young woman in a pink dress appeared in front of us. She was walking in the same direction as we were driving; barefoot, carrying her shoes, and her hair was tussled. Her whole body was shaking, as if she was freezing. “That’s her”, I croaked.

The young woman didn’t seem to notice us. Dean sprang out of the car. “Hey!”, he yelled after her. She didn’t respond. “Miss?”. “She can’t hear you… she’s just a reflection”, I breathed, and got out to join him. “No, stay in the car!”, Dean growled.

I walked towards the reflection, when suddenly she turned around, and looked straight at me. Her makeup was smudged, and her mascara had been running. The radio continued playing the soft melody. “For this time it isn't fascination. Or a dream that will fade and fall apart. It's love, this time it's love. My foolish heart”. The girl mouthed along to the music.

An intense chill went through me, and I blinked. She was gone. The radio turned itself off. I was as frozen in place. “She was crying”, I whispered. Dean grabbed my arm. “Come on, Lou”, he muttered. “We need to get out of here”. I nodded, and rubbed my arms, entering the car again.

---

Back at the motel, Sam had been joined by Jody, and they were bent over the papers from my box. “You find anything at the bridge?”, Sam asked. He was finally looking well rested; and apparently, he was well fed as well – I could tell from the open containers of Tupperware, I recognized as Jody’s. “Yeah, a friggin’ ghost”, Dean said. “We saw her. And she messed with my radio!”. I stumbled over to sit down. “Whiskey”, I croaked. I felt an intense chill throughout my body. I’d never been that close to a ghost before; having mostly seen them at a distance.

Dean poured me a drink, and I downed it. “You saw her?”, Sam asked. “The white lady?”. “No, I think she’s just a reflection… I don’t know, I’m… That was insane!”. Dean furrowed his brow at me. “I’d say you look like you’ve seen a ghost, but that would be redundant”, he muttered. “What was her name again?”. Jodie pulled out an old death record. “Annie Jones. 18 years old at the time of death”, she said. I looked at the picture of the young woman; Dean leaning in to look over my shoulder. “That was her”, he said. He read the record Jodie handed him. “But she was cremated…”. “There must be something out there of hers left”, Sam said.

I got up, and went over to my bag, grabbing a cardigan to put over my tank-top and flannel. “You ok, Lulu?”, Jody frowned. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit shook up”, I smiled, and sat back down. “Did you make any connection to high school proms, from the papers?”. Sam smiled. “Now you mention it; yeah”, he said. “All the victims disappeared on prom night, or just after”. Jody narrowed her eyes. “The shift in dates make sense now”, she muttered. “Sioux Falls High has had the prom around the same date every year forever… Until this year”. “What happened?”, Dean asked, as he was heading for the deliciously smelling Tupperware. “Chicken!”, he grinned, and grabbed a leg. “I’m not sure”, Jody said. “Something about the gymnasium being rented out for some event or other, on the usual date. They decided to advance the date of the prom. Local rich guy, Mason, is celebrating his wife’s 80’th, by recreating their prom night”. “Confusing the hell out of the ghost in the process, so she wasn’t seen until after the victim was found”, Dean said, his mouth full. I handed him a napkin.

Sam ran a hand over his face. “About that…”, he began, before Jody interrupted him. “The girl who was found the other day didn’t die from hypothermia. She had a diabetic seizure”, she said. “Coroner confirmed it about an hour ago”. “So no victim this year?”, I asked. I rubbed my hands together. “Could you close the window?”, I asked Dean. “It’s not open”, he muttered. “I am thoroughly confused”, I said. “And tired. Do you mind if I take a nap?”. “Go ahead”, Sam smiled.

I got up and passed Dean. “We can take the other bed”, he muttered. I patted his chest. “You’re on the couch, Fabio”, I smiled. “We’re working”. “Come on!”, he complained. “You had yours”, I whispered; and went over to lay down on the bed furthest from the door.

I heard the other three muttering quietly, before I dozed off. It must have been a few hours later, when I felt the bed dip, and Dean putting his arms around me. I was about to croak at him to go to the couch, but the room felt chilly; and his warmth was welcome.

---

[valkyrieofsmut]

Engel de la Gargouille  Section 2 part 8

Engel de la Gargouille (Gargoyle’s Angel)

Kurt Wagner/ Nightcrawler x Female OC

Overall series warnings: Smut, bit of violence, swearing, German (translations provided, but I have bad grammar… Sorry native speakers…) French (translations provided, but they are mostly like Google translations, as I am VERY new to French) (Translation help/ corrections are always welcome) (Will be added as they come up) Chapter warnings will be added individually as well.

Types: Smut, Angst, Mutual pining, Pregnancy, Romance, Love, Insecurity, Long as hell…

A/n-  Sorry, I had to wait until I was able to get to my computer to put the keep reading and stuff back in (not to mention stomach sickness). Well, here we go with the attempts at talking again... really, it's hard to write someone so awkward, let alone two people. But please remember that Angeline has not ever learned how to be herself around anyone (in fact learning to hide who she is and never show herself), and Kurt grew up with everyone but his small family spouting hate at him for the way he looks, and thinks that the only way he can get a girl to fall for him is using his image inducer.

Masterlist       Series Masterlist

Story!

Kurt looked into the woman’s face-

Sherrie? Was that her name?

He had trouble remembering anything but Angeline’s name, and was half afraid that he’d slip and moan to her while alone with another woman.

And there was another reason he felt guilty; Angeline had been helping with gardening earlier, and he’d been staring at how her jeans hugged her ass as it waved through the air to her music while she weeded, and now she was all he could think about.

“Sherrie, I’m sorry,” he told her, and she looked up from her dinner.

“Why?” She asked. “Because you’re not paying attention to what I’m saying? What’s on your mind?”

Kurt shifted uncomfortably. “Ah, it’s work stuff,” he bluffed. “But, no, that’s not why. I mean, I am sorry I'm not paying attention, but- I just… I’m sorry. There’s a girl at the school- I guess I should say woman,” he corrected. “I just… I can’t get over her,” he told her.

“Well, I knew there was a woman you weren’t over yet, but, she still lives there? How long ago did you go out?” She asked.

“We- we didn’t,” Kurt told her.

Her brows rose. “Well no wonder you can’t get over her, then,” she told him. “Look, I don’t deserve this-”

“No, you don’t,” Kurt agreed. “That’s why I was going to suggest that we go our separate ways.”

“Well then,” she stood and gathered her things. “Thank you for dinner.”

She left, and Kurt could tell that she was angry, but he couldn’t do anything about it but sigh.

...    ...    ...    

Kurt sat with his arms around his knees and wrapped his tail around his feet, looking down from the roof of the mansion at the steps.

He didn’t feel any better.

He had tried to become compatible for his angel of love, and after hearing how experienced she apparently was, since she wasn’t fighting the rumors, and deciding that he didn’t want to be embarrassed by being a virgin if he ever actually got to be with her, he’d set out to find practice.

He knew that the experience that he was getting was a gift from the women he collected it from, one that he'd hopefully one day be able to give to Angeline, and he had mostly been gearing up for practice by thinking of the things he wanted to do to her so he could practice them and give them a test run.

He was still a romantic at heart and he knew it was important for both parties to enjoy the practice, and understand that it was just practice, so he didn’t date just anyone, but he was starting to get quite the list of experience by the time he’d gone to the roof to think.

He stared down at the stairs and the wall against them.

It had been nearly a year.

He was tired of it.

Of everything.

He wanted to be with Angeline so badly, but she wouldn’t even look at him, probably didn’t know that he existed as a real man with real feelings.

He wondered if it was just him that was affected by the tingling zings when they touched in the danger room. Sometimes so much that he had to disappear and take a cold shower after the run.

As he stared down at the wall, a familiar winged figure walked out and sat on it.

Angeline sat down, sighing in discontent.

It was so draining to keep up her facade of perfection; sounding sweet and happy all the time, though she was sad and lonely inside.

Luckily she’d had so much practice from when she lived with her mother and stepfather.

All she wanted was to have some sort of a real friendship, hopefully with someone who didn’t want to make her life hell for fun.

She groaned.

Kurt was so wonderful to all the girls he’d been going out with, a real white knight…

If only he’d see her as a woman, a date, a love interest, something other than the stupid, annoying little girl she probably appeared to be on the outside. If she could have that in her life, maybe it wouldn't be so lonely...

But he wouldn’t, so she couldn’t.

It had been a rough year and a half, but she was a survivor, and she’d lived. But she didn’t know how much longer she could stay here with no one but Logan for company.

He wasn’t a terrible person, just closed off, and she didn’t think he would be good to have a real, long, sit down conversation with.

A girl about the age of thirteen or fourteen with short, spiky black hair and a set of huge shades atop her head stormed from the doors and threw herself down at the other end of the wall.

Angeline looked at her, and almost did nothing. But this girl was upset, and obviously needed someone on her side. If there was one thing she could still do, it was try to be a good person. “What’s wrong?” She asked after a moment.

“They’re all mad at me,” the girl almost pouted.

“All of them?” Angeline asked.

“They all hate me because I accidently blew up the stereo!” She cried. “It’s not my fault, that’s why I’m here, right?” She demanded.

Angeline looked at her, silent for a moment, but she could feel the honesty in this girl, and it warmed her. She suddenly smiled and threw her arms around the younger girl. “I like you,” she declared. She let go and flapped her wings to effectively jump from the wall. “If you want to listen to music, I have a better way to do it. I have this game, and the controllers aren’t connected to the console, so if you fry one, it’s- well, they’re a little expensive, but it wouldn’t ruin the whole thing,” she said. “Come on.”

The two girls walked off into the mansion as Kurt watched. He sighed, almost pained.

Why couldn’t she do that with him? He put his hand to his forehead. ‘I guess I will have to give up on her. If she hasn’t wanted me for this long… She never will...’

Kurt tucked his chin to his chest, trying not to let the pain hurt him, but failing.

...    ...    ...

Angeline walked with Jubilee down to the ballroom where they were having Kitty's goodbye party, hearing the music before they even got to the door. As they entered the room, Angeline looked up, laughing at the decorations. The room was semi dark with speakers and a dance floor on one side and a table of refreshments on the other. Multicolor lights flashed around the room, momentarily lighting up everyone's faces in turn.

“This looks very much like something Kitty would like,” Angeline commented, and Jubilee laughed.

They went in, seeing Kitty surrounded by people, and decided that they would wait until she was less busy to go say goodbye. Jubilee pulled Angeline to the dance floor and started dancing. Angeline moved as well, but in the practiced moves she'd learned, and Jubilee stopped her, laughing and calling over the music, “You don't have to dance like that, just dance naturally!” Angeline shook her head to show her confusion. “Like, just dancing, no choreography!”

“I- I guess I don't know how,” Angeline admitted.

Jubilee laughed again. “Ok, I'll show you.” She started moving around in fluid motions, but not anything that was predetermined.

Angeline followed her for a moment, getting the gist of it, but then a song that she recognized came over the speakers. “I know this song!” She said excitedly.

“You know every song!” Jubilee told her, rolling her eyes.

Angeline let the music flow through her and her body moved, her arms swinging, her legs stepping, her body shifting, and her wings fluttering. They stretched up, flapping lightly at the joint, straightened down, the tips flapping back, came up behind her, shrugging, and Jubilee started laughing. “What?” Angeline demanded. “Am I doing it wrong?” Jubilee shook her head, but still couldn't stop laughing. “Then what?”

Jubilee pointed at her wings. “They're so expressive!” She burst out laughing again, and Angeline kept dancing, rolling her eyes good naturedly as her tail swayed with her.

Kurt stood next to Kitty, his eyes staring into the distance where Angeline was dancing. She looked so beautiful, and the way she was moving; while they were all innocent movements, it was very sexy to him. Kitty looked over at him and nudged him. “Maybe you should go talk to her.”

Kurt shook his head, giving a laugh. “Talk to who?”

“You know who, Kurt!” She sighed in exasperation. “The same girl you've been ogling for like, two years!”

Kurt shook his head again. “Kitty, this is your goodbye party. It would be rude of me to run off-"

“Kurt, do it as a gift to me! For crying out loud, go talk to her!”

“I will talk to her, just, not right now,” he told her. Kitty put a hand to her face and sighed in exaggerated exasperation.

Angeline looked up as a man came closer to her and Jubilee, monitoring him. “Hey, you wanna go get something to drink?” He asked, and it was hard to tell who he was talking to. The only thing she could tell right off was that he was too old to be hitting on Jubilee, and he was bigger than either of them, which wasn't hard, as she was only five foot one, and Jubilee was five foot five.

Angeline stopped dancing and stepped so that she was partially blocking Jubilee from this man. “Pardon?”

“I asked if you wanted to get a drink,” he told her.

Angeline felt her wings shuffling a little. No, she didn't want to leave Jubilee, who had made great progress with her powers, but still didn't quite gave control over them, alone over here in a place where she felt that some of the male population may not be able to be trusted. “No, thank you,” she answered.

“Come on, it's just a drink,” he tried to persuade her.

Angeline felt the shiver up her spine that she felt when she saw a man trying to corner a child. She had to be strong, she had to keep them safe. She had to stand up to whoever was the perceived threat. “No,” she said. “I do not want a drink with you.”

“Ok,” the guy said and headed off.

Realization that she had just told someone no, and managed it on her own, dawned on her, making her giddy. She felt so powerful in that moment. She felt confident. She bet she could talk to Kurt right now. She looked up and saw him next to Kitty. “Come on!” She told Jubilee, grabbing her hand and pulling her along as she hurried through the crowd to where Kitty and Kurt were standing, now not crowded.

Jubilee let go of her hand, seeing what was happening. “I'll let you do this part alone,” she told her. Angeline looked around and saw Logan nearby, making eye contact, nodded and continued up to Kitty and Kurt.

“Hello!” She cheerfully greeted. “Kitty, I hope you are having a good time.”

Kitty smiled back to her, “Yes, it's really fun!”

Angeline's smile brightened. “Kurt, I was wondering- if you'd like to dance with me?”

Kurt swallowed, feeling like his stomach had suddenly become a bag of wiggling eels. “I- I don't know how to dance,” he told her, struggling to get the words past the lump in his throat.

Angeline paused, but came back with, “me either. But Jubilee was showing me how. Maybe she could show you, too.”

Kurt felt his heart pounding, attempting to get out of his chest and run to her. He wanted to dance with her, he really wanted to hold her in his arms and teach her the dances he knew, but he was afraid that, with the way she was making him feel, he was going to trip over his own feet and land on her, or in a pile with her, and make an ass out of himself, or make her hate him.

Kitty nudged him toward Angeline. “Yeah, Kurt, I'm sure Jubilee would show you.”

“I- I should spend more time with Kitty, after all, she is leaving,” he told Angeline, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.

“I don't mind,” Kitty butted in.

“No, you're right. It might be a long while before you get to see your friend again. You should spend as much time with her as you have left,” Angeline agreed with Kurt. She gave a smile, then turned and went back to Jubilee.

“What's that bull about you not knowing how to dance?” Kitty demanded.

“I panicked,” he defended.

“Freaking- just go talk to her! Don't dance, just talk!” She insisted.

Kurt shook his head. “Kitty, every time I try to talk to her, I get all flustered! I can't speak correctly, or I start daydreaming about kissing her- I'm a complete idiot when she's around!”

“Kurt-" Kitty started, but he cut her off.

“Seriously! I'm not ready, Kitty!”

“It's been a year and a half, like, almost two years, Kurt. You have been practice dating for like a year, why aren't you ready?”

Kurt swallowed nervously. “I- I don't know, I mean, I'm just trying not to let my heart jump out of my chest when I'm around her. Kitty, I am making progress, I can say a few sentences without sounding like a moron, but that's it..”

Kitty sighed and put her hand on Kurt's shoulder. “Promise me you'll talk to her when I'm gone,” she told him.

He nodded. “I will, Kitty.”

Tag list!

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[drakewalkerfantasy]

The day its all began... [2/17]

Summary: Arriving to the crime scene, FBI agent Seeley Booth and his partner Temperance Brennan from Jeffersonian Institute, never could have imagined, what they would see. Does this really seems, that ghosts of the past have been returned to complete their work. Or is there more to this story than meets the eye? All agent Booth and Dr. Brennan has to go on is crucified body on the tree and a bunch of bones and flesh, and sign cut on the chest. Will they be able to identify and give the face to the victim. Or this victim will become another one from the myriad of faceless victims of crimes?

Pairings: Booth x Brennan

Rating: T

Warnings: Language, Multiple deaths (children), corps description. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Words Count: 1599

Note: All rights reserved to Hart Hanson, Fox Television, Kathy Reichs and whoever else work on this brilliant TV series I just borrowing their characters and nothing else. Also Miles Straume I will borough from LOST creators, thought he is original character in this Universe with his own story line. This was my first series I wrote, also this was originally written in Russian and I’m translated it to English. I’m trying to do my best there, so hopefully you will like it. Please let me know.

Please let me know, if you want to be added or removed from tags list, no hard feeling, I understand that this may be not everyone peace of cake.

Taggs: @thesassysparkle @elles-choices @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @boneandfur @tmarie82 @walkerismychoice @darley1101

Washington, DC

Rock Creek Park

11th June, 9am

Stopping on the side of the road in about 45 minutes, the partners get out of the car and moved inside the park. Turning to the left from the main trail they walked for a while through forest in the direction of the creek. It took them just ten minutes to come to the halt in front of FBI cordon’s tape. Noticing them, the man of about 40 years old with a confident look, but with sign of tiredness on his face, headed toward them.

- Hey, it took you long enough to get there, - stated the man, slightly lifting the FBI tape and letting Booth and Brennan pass to the crime scene.

- Miles... - spoke Booth shaking the man’s hand, - Brennan, this is agent Straume - my former partner. Miles, this is Temperance Brennan from Jeffersonian Institute, she is working with me as my partner. She and her team are helping in victim and cause of death identification.

- How and who found the body? - shaking man’s hand, Temperance immediately got down to business and headed to the crime scene.

- Some guy was walking with his dog and he noticed something on that hill over there, - Miles pointed in the distance, where already was crowded with FBI agents and onlookers outside the cordon, - Our guys arrived as soon as they could, after receiving the call. What we found... this became a test even for us.  Your assistant arrived a couple of minutes ago, he is waiting for your there, - spoke man, pointing once more in the same direction on the big pine tree in the middle of the hill, - poor guy went white as a sheet, when he seen this, - in quick strides they approached the place indicated by Straume, covering the distance in a minutes, they stopped to the halt at the food of the hill. But what they saw on top was too much even for a Brennan, who seen a lot of corpses even in worst condition before and during her work for FBI and Jeffersonian.

Judging by the bone and body structure, this was a child, crucified on the tree. Taking a deep breath, she climbed the hill coming closer to the crime scene and realising that this was not all. She could feel the nausea washed over her, when she have made her next observations:  “The skin on the face was torn off to the bones, fingers were missing on one hand, and some sign was cut on the chest. With a bottom half of the body, apparently, have worked some animals. Also scraps of meat and bones were scattered at a rather large distance.” The body was in such state that this was impossible to identify a victim. Brennan came closer to the tree, not even noticing that Booth state behind. Looking around, she found her assistant, who was pale and looked at one point.

- Zack, - she spoke, pulling the young guy from his benumb condition and giving him some instructions, - you will need to scour the area and collect the missing parts of the skeleton. Also you will need to take a pictures of the crime scene and... - before she could finish, a young girl approached them. She was in her late 20th, her golden hairs fell down from her slender shoulders and her big crystal blue eyes were focused on them. 

- Hello, my name is Claire Maggregon. I’m a professional photographer of The Washington Post, I spoke with this man over here, - girl pointed in Booth direction who spoke with some FBI agent, whose name Brennan couldn’t recall, on the foot of the hill, - and was told that this is okay to make a photos of a crime scene to raise an awareness among the residents. Also I couldn’t help, but overheard that you need someone to make photos of this... there, - her already big eyes got even bigger and her pale skin became even whiter, when she noticed a body crucified on the tree and parts of the flesh and bones around. She swallowed hard refocusing her gaze on Temperance and taking a deep breath she continued not letting Brennan to object, - I can help. I’m the best photographer you ever could find and I’m keen to the details. Whatever you need will be there.

- Good, - grudgingly agreed Brennan, - but you need to pay extreme attention to the details. I need pictures from all angles and nothing should be missing. 

- Of course. This is understandable. Moreover, I can show you pictures straight after I complete to make them and if something will be missing, you can tell me what else you need, -  said Claire friendly, with enthusiasm getting to work.

Having sighed heavily, and gaining more air into the lungs, Brennan put on gloves and proceeded with body primary examination before body would be taken to Jeffersonian Institution. Usually this part of her job was easily done and never caused any difficulties, but today... today this was much more difficult to perform. But she quickly brushed these thoughts aside and tried to concentre on the details even harder. Setting to work, she started to speak her observations on a tape recorder:  "This is a child. A boy, around 6-8 years old, an approximate height of 3 feet 12 inches, race is uncertain. Obviously played soccer." 

- What makes you think he played soccer? - asked Booth, who had climbed the hill at that time. Brennan continued body examination, meantime answering the question that seemed so obvious to her: 

- The anterior cruciate ligament is torn. It's most commonly torn during sports that involve sudden stops and changes in direction. Based on my knowledge I would say this is more likely is soccer than any other sport. This injuries mechanism often concludes in valgus curvature of the tibia and its pronation.

-Bones, please say it in normal language? - wearily asked Booth.

- Simply speaking, he had a knee injury with a pathological curvature of the lower leg to the outside, which can only be obtained by playing this sport, - said Temperance, as if explaining the obvious things to the child.

- She is smart, - smirked agent Straume who came up at this time, - and also good looking, - stated Miles, watching curiously at Hale, not noticing the disgruntled gaze of his former partner. 

- When he died? - asked Booth, ignoring his former partner and trying to hide his irritation.

 - It’s hard to say. I’ll need to examine the skeleton in the laboratory, - said Brennan a little bit guiltily, lifting her head and looking on Booth intently, - well, it will be necessary to remove the body from the tree. But this needs to be done very carefully, so bones wouldn’t be damaged. They are already too fragile.

- All right, I'll give you a rate, - Booth said with a salute.

- I don’t know what this means? - uttered Brennan frowning and straightening to her full height. Booth smiled slightly and throwing orders to the FBI agents headed to the car, showing agent Straume that he is driving with them. Striding slowly toward the car, Miles did not take his eyes off Temperance, who was walking in front of him. He slowed down waiting for Booth to reach him. For a second they walked in silence, while Miles looked at him with interest and, following his gaze, grinned.

- She doesn’t look bad, - stated Miles with a smirk, - single? 

- This is none of your business, - cut off Booth, barely restraining himself and his boiling anger.

- Don't worry my friend, I was just curious. Also... Booth, I’m not a fool. I noticed how you devour her with your eyes, and look at me like in the good old days, when I did something that went against your ethical considerations.

- Straume, shut up, - Booth growled through clenched teeth. And then taking a deep breath, he added guiltily, - I'm sorry. I just had a very bad morning... So sorry if your remark doesn’t humour me. This case... Shit, - swore the man under his breath and closed eyes for a moment before continuing, - This case and the last one we worked together are like two peas in a pod. Miles, I am so sorry. I just tried to forget everything what happened then. I tried not to think, tried to hide from my memory that this was my fault why Nick has died. I'm so sorry. And this case is so similar to the last one. It feels like the ghosts of the past have been returned to complete their work.

- I know. I myself would gladly forgot about those times. But apparently someone decided to remind us of them, - said Miles, who turned a little paler and patted Booth on the shoulder, - Seeley, you know, I have never blamed you for Nick’s death. This was my fault too.

- If I wouldn’t insist on location that we need to check first and on calling for backup, he would have been still alive, - said Booth.

Coming to the halt, they stood there for a bit, remembering the events they both wanted to forget. Both men not even noticing, that Brennan tactfully walked a couple of meters away and waited for them patiently, what was quite odd for her usual self.

[diminuel]

Reading List: April

I missed archiving fics I read in March, but I’m back for April. Some of the fics I might have read in March. I’m still not very good at keeping track of what I read when! But the important part is that you get some fics to read! ;D

I’ve added the archive warnings in the brackets in case there were any, but didn’t include the tags. So make sure to read them.

Enjoy! ♥

bring it on home by xylodemon (2.4k)

"She ─" Sam grimaces again. "She likes tea, right?"

Dean hesitates. He pictures their old kitchen in Lawrence ─ the floral wallpaper, the walnut cabinets, the pots and pans hanging on hooks. Sheer, white curtains had hung in the windows, and Mary had left them open because she'd liked plenty of sunlight. It had smelled like coffee in the mornings. Dean had always lined his army men up on the table before eating his Cheerios.

"I don't know," he admits. "She ─ maybe."

Soft and gentle, but also slightly melancholy coda fic for 12x02

The One: Supernatural Edition by motorbike_on_the_avenue (73k)

The One is America's #1 dating show!

Twenty contestants will spend six weeks competing in tasks, to show the American public they should be picked to marry the suitor. Over the six weeks, they'll be voted down till just The One remains...

Dean Winchester is this year's suitor. A 34 year old firefighter from Kansas he isn't entirely sure why he applied to a dating show where he has to get married at the end.

Especially since he'll never have met (or seen) anything about his future lawfully wedded whatever.

But just who will be voted The One?

This is such an enjoyable fic! Dean and Cas don’t even meet each other until the very end, but the premise is so captivating and I constantly was nervous and rooting for my faves *lol*

Kitchen Overhaul by Powerfulweak (Explicit, 20k)

For Dean Winchester, his family’s bakery is his life, even if business is tanking. When his brother volunteers them for the reality show “Kitchen Overhaul”, Dean is less than enthusiastic with changing anything about his beloved bakery. He is even less enthusiastic to deal with the infamously icy host, Chef Castiel Novak.

Just like the previous fic on the list, this fic also has a TV show format as the premise of its story, but it’s more in the background. I loved this a lot! I got frustrated because of Dean, then because of Cas, but it’s all very rewarding!

Peak Homosexual by K_K_TiBal (3.7k)

You know that thing that happens where you hear something really homophobic in public so you gay it up as much as you can? This is that story.

Cute, pretend relationship fic! ♥

Neighborly Behavior by Annie D (scaramouche) (1.8k)

Cas and Dean at a neighborhood potluck, in an AU where they're both kinda assholes.

It’s hilarious and always good for a re-read!

Dean's Table by through_shadows_falling (4.9k)

On Castiel’s first day waiting tables at the Roadhouse Diner, his co-worker tells him to save a spot for Dean, a young veteran with a cane who sits in the same corner booth every day. Dean doesn’t talk, but Castiel’s charm soon works its magic until Dean reveals that he’s there to reconnect with his brother after a painful falling out. Castiel hopes Dean will succeed, even as Castiel's roommate, Sam, visits the diner one morning.

Lovely story about Cas easing Dean out of his lonely shell. And it also includes a happy reunion.

The Glen by Annie D (scaramouche) (3.2k, Explicit)

Dean's run out of excuses to not claim Cas, so he finally does. Better late than never, right?

This is actually set after a previous story, which focuses on Sam and Kevin. It might be slightly confusing without the previous part but I think still an interesting read, especially with the following part!

The Shop on the Corner by CasCase (18.6k, Mature)

Two years ago Castiel left behind his job and his past to fulfill his dream of opening a neighborhood bookshop. Now, his shop is popular and he’s finding himself fitting in with his new community. He’s perfectly happy with his quiet life among the books.

Perhaps the only thing that could make it absolutely perfect would be the attentions of Dean-the-Delivery-Guy. But, of course that means Castiel will have to work beyond his own insecurities to find a way to see the gorgeous man more than once a week.

Maybe he should stick to the books after all.

This was fun and lovely and even though there’s a bit of angst and pining involved, Dean’s gentle patience were lovely!

In Someone Else's Life by blue_morning (4.5k)

Cas never believed in love at first sight, but when he accidentally crashes a wedding trying to keep his brother out of trouble, it happens to him. Happy ending, right? Yeah, except that the man he falls for just happens to be the groom.

Light-hearted misunderstandings (mostly Gabriel’s fault) and an absolutely hilarious ending!

The Return Policy by aileenrose (12.9k, Explicit)

"Most of his visitors are academics. They come from universities all over the nation, sometimes beyond. Others write books. The man in the Reading Room today is neither. He’s a tall, irritated man with a federal badge."

The federal agent's partner is usually the one who does the research. And even though Cas doesn't think this man is a real federal agent, he's happy to help where he can.

A great read, close to canon, with lovely atmosphere!

Do You Need a Stepdad? by supernatural9917 (1.8k)

When Claire Novak tweets a picture of her dad cooking, she didn't expect to go viral, or for everyone to be quite so hot for her dad.

Based on a photo prompt: Teenager Claire posts a snarky tweet about her single dad Cas, and gets this response. She says ‘LOL no he’s gay’ so Dean tweets to ask if she needs a stepdad!

It might be short but it’s incredibly delightful! 

How to Keep Time by aileenrose (6.6k, Mature)

Dean's just beginning to learn that some times are more precious than others.

Very touching fic, featuring homeless Cas making beautiful things and Dean having to (re) learn what’s truly valuable.

The Neighboring Perspective by aileenrose (12.7k, Mature)

Dean's newly single, in a new house, and a brand-new father to boot.

Dean's also got this weird thing where some stranger is leaving baby clothes on his porch at night.

A very lovely fic with Cas breaking my heart with his softness and his sadness...! ;w;

Best You Ever Ate by darkforetold (1.7k, Explicit)

Cas sucks—under a table at Ma's Diner.

A PWP! :D

For Science by shiphitsthefan (6.1k, Explicit)

“Think of it like an experiment," says Dean. "You’re testing a hypothesis as to whether or not a desirable response can be achieved through the stimulation of the anus via the application of a willing volunteer’s muscular hydrostat.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Are you actually trying to use the scientific method to talk me into letting you lick my asshole?”

It might sound like a cracky PWP, but it’s not! It features ace!Cas and Dean figuring out their sexual relationship. It’s sweet and funny~

Remarkable by shiphitsthefan (3.7k)

It’s only Castiel’s first day as a teacher at All City Elementary in Sioux Falls, and he’s already been warned by four teachers, the guidance counselor, the principal, and the librarian to watch out for Ben Braeden’s father. Unluckily for Castiel, Dean turns out to be just as “helpful” as everyone’s said, bringing in stacks of literature and just as many ideas for how Mr. Milton can encourage his students to be more socially conscious. Castiel dismisses him every time with hardly a second thought.

When Ben brings in his Patriot Day essay assignment, Mr. Milton can't help but change his mind.

I love how passionate and insistent Dean is about social issues. And the way the other teachers speak about Dean makes me sad, but at least Cas makes an effort and the whole fic is very sweet and uplifting!

Made Manifest by schmerzerling

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

I was craving trans!Dean fic and this was recommended to me. It’s really good, focusing on Dean up until Cas pulls him out of hell and recongizes Dean for who he is. Dean, not Deanna.

Low Battery Blues by destielonfire (4k)

Wherein a dead phone battery ruins an otherwise perfectly good and well-intended joke and causes Cas to think Dean broke up with him.

Misunderstanding with a happy ending!

Parent's Weekend by Piper_Halliwell1979 (1.7k)

Claire needs a "dad" to come meet one of her professors during Parent's Weekend at college. She can't get hold of Cas so Dean steps up to help her out. Turns out Claire wouldn't mind if she had two dads.

Dean and Cas both pretend to be Claire’s dads!

This Is Gonna Have Consequences, Kid by omgbubblesomg (Explicit, 3.6k)

Modern AU. Dean is looking for someone to spend the night and Cas is working the streets

PWP with sex worker Cas, featuring younger!Cas and older!Dean.

The Ritual by HazelDomain (Explicit, 9.6k // non-con cw)

The Winchesters were used to being outnumbered. They weren’t too worried about taking on humans, numerous though they may be. It was the ritual’s mystery guest that concerned them. 

Their intel wasn’t good. They knew the cultists needed the participation of some incredibly powerful being in order to complete the summoning. “Powerful” and “being” were both very loosely translated, as was “participation.”

I was on a hurt!Cas kick and this story has plenty of it. Cas was abducted by a cult and then found by the Winchesters once it’s been mostly completed. See the archive warnings (graphic violence and rape) and further tags!

Finding Courage by DarkHeartInTheSky (26.3k)

By allowing Lucifer to use him as a vessel, Castiel helped eliminate the Darkness and saved the World. But it may have been at the cost of Sam and Dean's friendship. Deciding he has nothing to live for without that, Castiel plans to end his life on his terms and be at peace---if only a certain ghost of an archangel would leave him alone. Meanwhile, Dean needs to learn to use his words.

A Supernatural "It"s A Wonderful Life" AU

More hurt Cas. Dean reacts very negatively once Cas is free of his possession, sending him away. As a consequence Cas tries to commit suicide and is given the chance to either die or return to life once more. It takes a while to convince him that he hasn’t lost everything. It’s sad but it has a good ending.

Specimen Two Eighty Five by HazelDomain (Explicit, 8k // non-con cw)

Prompt: Cas gets taken prisoner by the MOL or some other people. They lump angels in with all the other supernatural creatures, and believe they’re little better than animals. They keep Cas restrained and burn or tattoo warding on him. They talk about him like he can’t understand them. They strip him, examine him, make him manifest his wings. He can’t escape, and every day brings new mistreatment and misery.

Hurt!Cas and tortured Cas seems to be the theme of my reading at the end of April. What I particularly like about this is the non-linear narration!

Womb Kindred by Annie D (scaramouche) (Explicit, 33k)

It was probably too much to hope for that Castiel's once-betrothed, Dean of Winchester, never found out that they had a child together.

I adore this fic and the last chapter was recently posted. So it’s on my to re-read list! It’s got a very interesting setting and there’s constant tension between all the characters. Cas has been hurt in the past and while he is fierce in guarding Claire, there’s a sad resignation about him. And about Dean as well. They’re pretty much walking on eggshells around each other all the time and then they get flung into troubles which readjusts their relationship. While it has a good ending, it’s clear that it’s not a perfect happy ever after. 

Pining Sickness; Or, Murder With One Stone by athaclena, iraeim (Explicit, 57.8k)

New York, 1895. The rigid customs of the old century are beginning to fall away, allowing access to the professions for more people than just Omega men and Alpha women. Dean Winchester, the city’s first Alpha male Detective, uncovers evidence that a mysterious new illness killing mated couples might have its origins is the criminal rather than the medical.

Castiel Novak is a respectable Omega doctor who has started to see patients dying cruelly of something he cannot cure or even effectively treat. Approached by the Detective to once again give his medical expertise, he is eager to work towards finding a cause and, he hopes, a cure for the unfortunate sufferers. But both men harbour a secret attraction towards the other, and the quest for the truth will stretch their relationship beyond its limits.

A historical murder mystery set against a backdrop of a non-traditional Omegaverse.

I absolutely adored this fic! It’s got a historical setting and a very interesting world building which, as the summary advertises, features a non-traditional distribution of roles, with omega men at the top of society. The case itself is interesting and you just get a massive dose of pining between Dean and Cas, but it’s a quiet, resigned kind of pining, that really pulls at your heart.

Take On Me by Powerfulweak (Explicit, 46.4k)

Alpha Dean Winchester figured the closest he’d get to the apple pie life and fatherhood was a one-shot, “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” trip to a sperm bank. That is, until he comes face-to-face with the omega carrying his pup on a fateful trip to the grocery store. When the the omega runs off without a word, though, Dean learns the situation is far more complicated than he expected. Can an anonymous sperm donation and the favor of a lifetime help two complete strangers find everything their life was missing?

A fic with an unusual premise that just promises a “it’s complicated” kind of situation! There’s plenty of very intriguing angst, but there is a fluffy happy ending!

Marry Him by ProLazy (2.9k)

Jimmy is sick and asks Castiel to do him a favour. This results in Dean mistaking Cas for Jimmy and explaining that he wants to marry Cas.

A cute sort of mistaken identity fic!

Left Behind by Aini_NuFire (6.6k)

Sam and Dean saved Lucifer from Amara. They just assumed that meant they’d saved Cas too…

(Author needs to vent some angst, but there’s still a happy ending)

That last part of the summary pretty much describes this fic. It’s a gen fic, addressing the fact that Cas often gets forgotten or left behind, especially in this whole Lucifer and Chuck fiasco. ;w;

Captured by bobertsmallismydad (6.2k)

On a day when he is taking a break from Heaven Castiel is captured by the order of the Royal Court aka King "Dickbag" John Winchester. He is forced into servitude as a . . . nanny?

This has a very interesting premise! An enslaved angel having to work as a nanny? Great! Castiel is captured by king John (a douchebag) and tasked to watch over Dean, which he does, over the years. Until Dean himself becomes king.

Choice and Precious Vessels by justabrain (11.2k)

In a world where angels wear collars to suppress their powers and are subservient to humans, a young Castiel finds himself serving a family with two young boys, Sam and Dean. He soon befriends the older of the two, yet all good things must come to an end.

Another gen, Cas whump one. It’s a sad story in which angels are slaves and even though Castiel’s situation improved when he is being bought by the Winchester family, Cas still isn’t treated with dignity. And while the story promises a happy ending and it does have a happy ending, my soul wasn’t quite soothed. ;w; All the damage had been done and nobody makes reparations for it. But despite the sadness I do think it’s a great read!

the worst week of dean's life by jhoom (1.7k)

Dean’s son is driving him crazy.

Super cute, poor Dean is so frustrated because he can’t get his son to call him dada.

Moonlit Sky by hollyblue2 (1.1k)

They'd been busy on their actual anniversary, so Dean decides to make it up to Castiel.

A soft and fluffy story, good for the heart!

Dean's Carol by BurningTea (17.9k)

Dean has learned that a hunter can't have close friends or loved ones, not without being ready to lose them, so he decides it's safer for Cas not to be around.

Can the traditional visits from three ghosts change his mind?

Dean has to learn an important lesson! I love how it takes the story of the christmas carol and putting it into a canon compliant universe, where Dean is aware of what’s happening because he knows the story.

[yourknightingale]

Bechloe is Real, Bechloe is Endgame (THIS IS THE WHOLE MOVIE SO DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED)

Obviously this will contain spoilers. Bear with me. This is all by memory and as chronological as I can so this is super lengthy.

I can’t stop thinking about this. Here in Tumblr, I’ve seen a lot of other people’s theories, some Bechloe details they’ve spotted in the movie, and even the subcontexts. (Hurrah, you guys!) But please, allow me to do another take. Or maybe just a combination of all the ideas in most shippers’ heads.

PP2 Chloe, first of all, was so afraid to leave the Bellas that she had to fail classes, right? Yet, when they graduated, she stayed with Beca and Fat Amy. I mean, Fat Amy and Beca were already roommates in PP2 so it wouldn’t be a surprise if they just continue that. But Chloe? That’s actually pretty interesting. It makes me wonder why.

So now, the three of them are living together— in a 2-bedroom small-spaced apartment. Fat Amy, I agree, would need her own bed to herself. So our Bechloe may have been “forced” to share a bed, like share a bed by default. We all know where this is going because grumpy cat Beca sleeps with bouncy happy Chloe. There will be no personal boundaries regardless of how much one would’ve complained at first. Eventually, Chloe wears Beca down.

3 years of that, and you tell me Bechloe won’t fall into a mutual kind of understanding about each other’s feelings. Fat Amy is basically just blocking actual sexual tendencies between the other two. In my scenario, Beca and Chloe are much much much closer than Chloe was to Aubrey and Beca was to Fat Amy. To the point actually that everything that happens in their lives, the first thing they do is let the other one know. So this is where PP3 opens.

Remember in the apartment scene, Chloe asked, “What happened?”. Fat Amy then replied that Beca was fired. And Chloe’s face there was just like I knew that already but I have to pretend it shocked me so you won’t question how I know and you don’t.

Next scene, they went to the “reunion” with the New Bellas. And everything Bechloe in those scenes were in other people’s post already (ie the cup, the songs mentioned). There was also a moment there where Chloe said, “They all definitely have boyfriends”. There’s a gif going around on what kind of face Beca pulls in response to this. In my head, I translated it to “We share a bed. We sleep together. You cuddle with me. I text you a lot. We eat together. We do a lot of things together when Fat Amy ditches us to party or date because she doesn’t have a legit job she needs to wake up early to. We’re definitely more than best friends now, Chloe. Why the heck do you sound so envious of these young girls having boyfriends? What am I, chopped liver?” Well, I may have overthought that brief second expression but whatever.

Drunk Chloe making a toast is not new to Beca. She’s probably seen and dealt with something worse. So Bechloe was just interacting with other Bellas so nobody will be suspicious (because they obviously know that the other Bellas are aware of Bhloe). Basically, that’s the only reason why they’re being lowkey. They just don’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to themselves. Because even though they have a mutual understanding, no one really confessed anything. Which leads us to

Spain, Bellas! Chicago enters the scene and Beca immediately notices smitten Chloe. Oh boy! We all know Chloe is down for anything. So I also agree that lust is what she has for this guy in uniform. (So in the Riff-off, I just want to encourage all of you to watch Background Beca.) The Bellas got off the van and some details here about Chicago offering her hand to Chloe and to Beca, too, but she just didn’t take it. When they get to their rooms, the Bellas’ heads peaked out of their doors one by one. Of all rooms, Bechloe chose to be next to each other’s. They have separate door numbers but their rooms are certainly side by side. And they’re both on the bed, too, with the “picking chocolates” scene. They may not talk directly to each other but their closeness manifested, for sure.

Theo comes in and talks to Beca but she just isn’t down for dudes. She said he looks like a turtle. Uhm what? He’s nice to her but she blows him with that? Somebody’s still probably thinking about a pining lady over uniform guy and isn’t just in the mood to entertain. “That was so much eye contact”, she said with a kind of tone that suggests she finds it weird and disturbing. And don’t we remember the shower scene with Chloe’s “hypnotizing eyes”?

Bellas perform Cheap Thrills. (I just scream when bechloe are in the same frame, that’s all.)

The ladies are in a room discussing using instruments and such and Bechloe are on the bed (again!). This is the scene where Emily storms in and tells them to dress up. So they went to the Casino, and when Aubrey tells them to pair up, Bechloe walked off together. Now, this is mentioned already so many times. But I just want to say that I actually would’ve expected Aubrey and Chloe to pair up and Fat Amy and Beca to pair up. It makes sense, doesn’t it? But I get why they have to make Fat Amy all by herself. So one pair got a 3rd person. Anyway, this is where the infamous boob grab scene happens. Chloe actually felt Beca up a bit and so the lady had to ask, “Dude, what is this about?” It’s like, we’re so distracted and busy with the USO Tour and now is the time that you think is the best to start doing this? It’s a good thing Aubrey intervened. Or is it NOT a good thing? I mean, by the looks of Chloe, she seems to be wanting to do that for a while, maybe thinking “I’ve seen these but I don’t actually know how they feel in my hands. Unlike Prince’s butt. Let me push them a little bit. It’s different when she’s awake or I pretend to accidentally brush my hands over them.”

Remember in the suite when Theo asked to borrow Beca? Chloe was about to go with them, right? That’s why Turtle boy had to say just for a second. I mean, even that guy realized they’re a pair that actually needs permission when separated. I mean, Flo was there, too. And some Bellas. But Bechloe, well...

Beca and Chloe don’t have to talk for us to realize there’s something going on there.

Now they’re in Italy, I think. Remember when the Bellas were in the pool talking about Evermoist? This is when Beca bumps into Theo, with her arms up, covering her chest. She doesn’t even want any physical contact with this dude. Seriously! Also, the other Bellas went out for a drink and Chloe made a toast again. She’s been drinking through this movie. I wonder if it’s because of a certain small DJ and a handsome stranger surnamed Walp. Like, she’s undeniably trying to sort out her feelings for Beca and her lust for Chicago. That dude is charming so it still makes sense. She gets distracted again, of course, because of the whole hostage crisis situation.

Beca, of all safe places to sit, decides to hide behind Chloe. Surprise, girl friend! I’m here to save you. And the snaps we see of Bechloe during Toxic, with the eye contact? You tell me that isn’t a mix of I’m glad you’re here, we’re gonna survive this and if we’re gonna die tonight, I’m gonna regret not making out with you. This performance is key to Bechloe.

A lot of things are revealed in the confessions scene. Beale was probably gonna surprise Beca beforehand by telling her first that she passed her vet test but they were really in a complex situation so she had to say that in front of everyone. Beca still looks proud of her though. So there’s that.

“She loves hugs,” Chloe speaks. Of course, she says that. She knows. She mainly played a major part in that. She probably just didn’t know Beca meant HER hugs. Beca loves HER hugs. But it was still a heartwarming moment for the Bellas.

And now, we’re in the end. Freedom may have been Beca’s coming out song. I know a lot of people said that already and I don’t see why not. Chloe looks really proud of her. She was just sitting with Chicago but she’s probably glad Beca invited all the Bellas up. That way she leaves cute guy behind.

Bechloe hug after the song. Beca probably whispers, “This is more like the hug that I learned to love.” And this is where it became so obvious to everyone that Beca and Chloe really are endgame.

They probably talk about this in private afterwards, where you can imagine the confession happened, or maybe not yet. Still this is when they knew they should end up together.

Chloe still has that kiss scene with Chicago, though, right? So what was that about? How does that make Bechloe real? Well, this scene was fixed by a drabble I read that actually made sense to me. In that said fic, Chloe only kissed Chicago to let that “guy in uniform is so hot” out of her system. That’s it. It doesn’t mean anything. That’s possible. Without doubt, she told Beca about that and the other gal is probably like, “I don’t really mind. Especially now I know you’re really into me.” I kinda picture Beca as someone who is not easily jealous without reason.

So there you go. I explained it. Bechloe is real. Bechloe is endgame. I can finally sleep because I can believe now that this is what happened in the movie.

[mubal4]

Pushing Through Darkness

 As we sit here in mid-January, getting close to the end already, I am feeling the desire to write about ultrarunning and racing. Throughout a typical week I listen to a number of different podcasts & come across several articles. About 50% of them center on personal growth and development, business wisdom, and overall, just trying to be that better husband, father, and human being.  The other 50% - ultrarunning, trail running, running in general.  Therefore, not too surprising that the sport is on my mind a lot 😊.  As of last week, with some discussions with the family and some encouragement from others within our crew, we finalized the racing schedule, at least for the first half of the year.  We start out with the Black Canyon 100k on Feb. 15th, followed by the Pine Trail Run 50k May 2nd, rounding out the 1st half of 2020 with the Silverheels 100 miler on July 11th.  Each of these races have a foundational story and I am pretty positive there will be tales to tell upon completion that I will certainly share.  Along the way, we are going to enjoy the journey and excitement leading up to each.  

 As I’ve mentioned before, ultrarunning, in my belief, is a fantastic metaphor for life.  I’ve been fortunate to find this wild and wacky sport and grateful for the chance to share with so many wonderful human beings; a lot you have heard about and will certainly come to know from these 3 races.  This sport, whether you are deeply intimate with it, have just dipped your toe in it, or don’t know the slightest about it and think the idea of running a 100 miles is nuts, has provided me with incredibly memories, lessons learned, beautiful friendships, and powerful healing.  Something about traveling that far, on foot, on trails and in the mountains that cleansed the body, mind, and soul.  I’ve heard many times, from longtime veterans in the sport, “in ultrarunning, you are either running from something or toward something.”  I can relate to that.  I also believe that at different cycles of your life it fluctuates.  Now I have only been involved in the sport since late 2015 but believe I’ve experienced a ton of great lessons in a short period of time. As I am writing this, I am thinking about the 15-20 races I’ve done.  Hell, it could be that in some I was chasing something and others I was running from something else.  Each time however, I heal more, cleanse more, learn more; of course, about the sport and being better, but more importantly, about me.  

 You do a lot of thinking out on the trails and in the mountains by yourself, for hours at a time! Anything and everything can come into that noggin; some shit catches you off guard too.  Some of those great moments come reflecting on the dark moments that were overcome.  Sometimes, you are in a dark moment, on the run, and in life!!!  When you are by yourself on the mountain, in dark moment, i.e., quads are blown up, you rolled an ankle, ran out of water, and in a deep suck; no one is there to help you through it so you have to conjure up the strength to keep moving forward.  Yeah, I guess you can just stop, but when you are 20 miles from your car or civilization with no cell service, what other answers do you have?  Typically, in training, you are on you own.  In a race you have your crew, pacers, and aid stations; people around to help you to keep moving forward.  Life is incredibly similar.  From my experience, during my dark moments in life, I THOUGHT I was alone and that it was me and only me that can get myself out of my whole.  Yes, it was me that got me there; however, there are so many out there that want to, and can, help.  I was fortunate to see that only after I got the courage to ask for it.  I had to choose that. I first had to take accountability but then I had the choice on how to move forward.  Empowering!!! Scary, but empowering. Liberating. Freeing. Cleansing!!!  

 Running is like that too.  We make the choice to go out there.  In races, we actually pay for it 😊!!!  There are many training runs, and my wife can confirm this, that I ain’t too excited about sometimes. Just not feeling it today and don’t want to hit it.  Hell, there are times when I am a few miles in and telling myself, “this sucks and I want to be home on the couch.”  But you go or keep going and that feeling of satisfaction when you are done makes you forget about the feeling of suck earlier.  I just have to find a better way of challenging the satisfaction feeling when I sense the suck feeling coming on 😊!!  

 When racing, again, just like life, there are peaks and valleys.  There was an article out there that I read the other day in Trail Runner Magazine by Rob Krar, you can read his story in the link, that inspired this blog, after sitting on this subject for about 4 months.  He puts the race/life metaphor into great context with this quote.

 “The pain and suffering I experience in a race is something I yearn for,” Krar says. “In an ultra, you can feel the worst you’ve ever felt at mile 50, and, if you’re smart and regroup, you can come back and still have either the fastest race of your life, or the greatest race of your life, or both.”

 Although I don’t share Rob’s yearning for the pain and suffering, I do empathize with him, and he hits the nail on the head.  And, it is so true with life as well.  These are lessons that I am learning and something we try to educate our girls on; now is a building block for the future. I understand that, specially with kids, these moments are perceived to be the biggest moments of your life.  I get that, but, being 45 years old, I can think back to a number of those “biggest moments” from my childhood and in reality, they were just events; experiences that I learned something from; maybe not at that time but now.  They didn’t define me like I thought they would at that time.  How often in life do we think that moment that we are in is the worst thing in the world and we may never recover from it? My hand is up. Then, a few hours, days, or weeks down the road, you are living high on the hog and life is grand? That is just like a race.  How do you handle that suck at the time? What is the self-talk you are telling yourself?  What messages are you playing over and over in your head to help you grind through that valley when everything in your well-being is telling you to just lay down and rest? When I am off training by myself, and even in racing, there are many of those moments and I have tried, practiced, and tested what to say to myself when the proverbial shit hits the fan, figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Funny thing, many of those messages that work in those moments, have worked for me in the life moments!!!  

 There is another great quote from the article, I believe from the author, that we can close this out with!

 “And, yet, he still lives with the reality that any moment he can get sucked into a dark hole, from which it seems he might never emerge.” – Claire Walla

 You can learn from the article the context there but again, I’ve learned what is true with ultrarunning is true with life.  Leading up to a race, after you’ve done a few, you know damn well that the odds of shit going south is going to happen.  There are going to be things that come up that are going to suck and sometimes you don’t have an idea what it might be.  Sure, you likely know the legs will hurt, joints, knees, hips will get trashed, you will be tired, etc.  But there are so many unknowns that you just can foresee coming. Just like life.  What I’ve learned from racing is that when I let go and shed myself of expectations (AND EGO!!!!!), rely on appreciation and gratitude, focusing on what I am GETTING  to do & WHOM I am experiencing it with the experience produces incredibly amounts of joy and fulfillment.  When I am fortunate enough to translate that same approach to life, similar moments and experiences are created.

 It is not a coincidence.  

[ponyregrets]

Hey, so literally all of your Bellarke fanfics are my favourite thing to read and every time I read one I always think "imagine this in the others POV". My honest to god favourite fics are the ones in Bellamy's POV because I just love the way you write his thoughts and feelings. Anyway, my point is, I'd love Bellamy's point of view on 'And a Guy Like Me' or specifically the scene where they finally get together but him pining away for her would be great too!! Thanks!! Once again, you're awesome!

I got two requests for this, which is cool, bc I def forgot about it. Original fic is here, and alt-POV is here on AO3!

Bellamy never expected his life to involve any kind of extended contact with Princess Clarke. Maybe, if he'd actually become a knight, like the man who was supposed to be his father wanted him to, he might have met her once or twice, in passing, at formal events. He'd seen her and never thought much of her, aside from a general knowledge that he should be loyal to her, but she was just--some person.

It's strange, to think about it now. There's no way of knowing which people will matter to you, but--he can't imagine his life without her, now. And he knows he should get used to it, sooner or later, but--he'd rather do it later.

He'll take everything he can get, until he can't get it anymore.

"Where's the new guard?" he asks her, mild. Whenever she slides in next to him at his usual spot in the library, he can't help remembering the first time she did it, five years ago, this bright girl with her hair in neat plaits, asking him what he was reading. She was wearing a plain dress, something like his sister might wear, and no crown, and he'd assumed she was a serving girl who couldn't read herself. He'd been talking to her for half an hour before her guard found her, told her that her mother needed her, and he'd realized with a jolt that he had been joking around with the princess.

Even five years later, it's still a little disconcerting.

"Preparing the carriage. I don't want to introduce you yet. But--I think he's good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nudges him with her elbow. "You'll definitely like him. He's quiet and sarcastic and glares at everything."

"That does sound better than most of them. Why don't you want me to meet him?"

"We're leaving for a ball in Azgeda in an hour," she says. "That's what the carriage is for. I'll be gone the rest of the day and tomorrow. If he hates you, I don't have time to get a new guard before then."

He has to smile. "I'm surprised you don't want to get rid of him just to get out of the party," he teases.

"I thought about that, but so did my mother. She said if the new guard was unsatisfactory, she'd just send Sir Emerson to escort me."

Bellamy winces. "So, she's really serious about this one." Threatening Clarke with a trip with his mother's husband is above and beyond, even for the queen.

Clarke worries her lip, drums her fingers on the table, apparently trying to figure out what to say. "My birthday is coming up, and we've been arguing about marriage again. I think she's trying to remind me I could do worse than Monty."

"Prince Roan would be a lot worse," he agrees. "So, I'll see you when you get back?"

"Yeah." Her jaw works, and then she reaches under the table, gives his hand a quick squeeze. "Remember to eat and leave the library sometimes when I'm gone."

"They said they'd put a cot in the corner if I wanted."

"I'm going to veto that."

"Yeah, I didn't even try. Have fun in Azgeda."

"You should be grateful you don't have to go."

He should be, but he's not. He'd love it, if he was just expected to be everywhere Clarke was. If they were a political unit.

But it's a stupid thing to say, so he just shrugs one shoulder and turns his attention back to his book. "I am," he says. "Bring me back something nice."

*

He hears the carriage returning from Azgeda and the trumpets that mean the princess has returned to the castle, and within an hour, she's in the library. There's a dark-skinned man behind her, and he assumes it's her guard, but he thought her new guardsman was Miller, and he thought he knew Guardsman Miller. They've met a few times, in passing. Bellamy was optimistic about him. With this guy, he's at a loss.

"Who's this?" he asks.

Clarke sits down next to him, close so she can see what he's reading. He angles the book obligingly. "New guard," she says.

"Already? It's been like a week since you got the last one." He's mostly trying to see if she actually lost Miller in Azgeda, but even if this is some unfamiliar Miller, Clarke won't want him to know she sneaked away to gossip with Bellamy about him. She always manages, but they never tell the guards that. It just makes them pay more attention.

"Couldn't keep up with me," she says. "Miller, this is Bellamy Blake, my tutor. Bellamy, be nice. Monty likes him."

Bellamy can't help a scowl, for all he knows it's stupid and irrational. Clarke and Monty do not, on any level, want to get married, so he's not--it's not as if he's jealous, not really. Monty has what Bellamy wants, a promise of marriage to Clarke, but it's not like Monty's happy about it either. No one wants this. But sometimes it still just--stings.

"Oh good," he says. "He can keep on guarding you when you're married." But it's not like this Miller is at fault for any of that, nor is Clarke, or Monty, or anyone. Clarke's supposed to get married on her eighteenth birthday, and he's increasingly grumpy about it with no one to blame. He can still be nice. So he tries a smile. "Nice to meet you, Miller."

It turns out, it really is. This Miller is the other Miller's son, and like Clarke said, he's quiet and glares a lot and Bellamy really enjoys hanging out with him. He doesn't care at all that Bellamy is with Clarke all the time, and when Monty explains what happened with Bellamy's family, in low, private tones, Miller just nods and accepts it, and it changes absolutely nothing.

And, not that Bellamy's an expert on romance, but he's pretty sure Miller gets what he's going through. Because every time Clarke tells Miller she wants to see Monty, he perks up, and every time Monty's around, Miller actually smiles.

"It probably won't be so bad, when they get married," he offers, half to test his hypothesis and half to see if he can say it and sound even slightly convincing. It's probably true; Monty wouldn't care if Clarke stole out of their bed in the night and--

But it would still be their bed. And Bellamy cares about that so much more than he wants to. He'd like to think he wouldn't, if Clarke didn't mind, but he honestly doesn't know. And she does mind, so it's a moot point anyway.

Miller snorts. "Yeah? Try it again. Sound more excited."

"Shut up. It won't. Monty's great. And it's not like--I've met some other princes of the realm. She could do a lot worse."

"Way more convincing," says Miller. He's watching Monty, not Clarke, so he's a terrible guard and definitely just as unenthused about this whole thing as Bellamy is. Which makes even less sense, because--this should be good, right? Clarke and Monty can get married, and Monty could have Miller and Clarke could have Bellamy and everyone would be happy.

It's just--it's a lie. And it feels like such a stupid lie. The lie that no one wants. It doesn't benefit any of them.

"Dick. Don't pretend you're happy about it either," he adds, deliberate, testing it out.

Miller's face gives nothing away. "None of my business."

He has to smile. "Yeah. It's none of mine either."

Clarke looks over and gestures for him. "Bellamy! Get over here."

"Duty calls," he tells Miller, and Miller smirks.

"Just warn me when you're going to steal her. So I don't get executed for failing to protect her."

He's thought about it, but--well, they can't. They have a kingdom to take care of.

"Shut up," he says again, and goes to lean over Clarke's shoulder. She leans back into him, warm and soft and smelling of some light, floral perfume, like she always does.

He could press his lips against her neck, and no one would care. No one here would be surprised, except for Clarke and himself. They'd both be stunned he actually did something.

"What's up?" he asks instead.

"Tell Monty he's wrong about this translation."

"Wow," says Monty. "What an unbiased take on this situation."

He and Miller are perfect for each other, seriously.

"It's not my fault you're wrong. I'm just presenting the facts."

"Uh huh."

Bellamy smiles, nuzzles Clarke's hair, just a little. For a long time, he didn't let himself do things like this, thought it would be easier if they weren't close, if he didn't know the feel of her skin on his. And they've never done anything even as intimate as kissing; he's never done anything with her that he didn't do for his sister, when she was younger, just warmth and affection, but--he knows what it means when he does it to her, and so does she.

She was the one who started it, a year ago, when they were drunk with Raven and Wells in her rooms, when those two were still in the unable-to-stop-touching stage of courtship, and Clarke had finally just wrapped herself around him and said, "I feel left out," and he was helpless to resist holding on tight.

He hadn't been sure before then that she felt the same way he did, but--she made it very obvious. It was a relief and torture, all at once.

"What's the line you're having trouble with?" he asks.

"I'm not having trouble," says Clarke. "I know exactly what it says." She points to a line. "Here."

"On holiest night, when the moon is at its highest point," he says, instantly, and Clarke laughs.

"See? You're wrong. I didn't even tell him my translation first."

Monty huffs. "It's Holy Night right? Not holiest. A specific day."

"They'd both be specific days, but I don't know if it's supposed to be our holy night," Bellamy says. "Or it might not be. What's the date on this spell? You'd want to figure out what the holiest night was at that time and do it then."

"Told you," says Clarke.

"You know he doesn't actually know everything, right?" Monty grumbles, but he's smiling. "Bellamy can be wrong."

"Do you think he is?" Clarke asks, sweet, and Monty makes a face.

"I'm going to go read with Miller," he declares, and Bellamy slides into the seat next to Clarke. She hesitates for a second, and then takes his hand, and he squeezes back.

"What's the spell for?" he asks.

"Nothing. Just one of Monty's pet projects." She smiles. "I haven't found anything to prevent marriage yet."

"Keep me posted."

Her thumb strokes over his, soft. "I'm pretty sure you'll be the first to know."

*

It's not really true, of course. Bellamy is not involved in any discussions of Clarke's upcoming nuptials, because he has no place in court. If he had an official title, which he's still does not, it would probably be scholar. Mostly he's allowed to live in the castle and read, and for the first few years after the scandal with Octavia broke, he couldn't imagine anything better. Teaching the princess, advising her when she needed, and time to himself the rest of the time. It was so perfect.

He hadn't been ambitious. He still doesn't feel ambitious, for all he's hoping to be--a prince consort, he thinks. That would be his title. That's not why he wants her. It's a fringe benefit.

And regardless of his current station, Clarke talks to him about everything, which means he finds things out as soon as she's done learning them, and they discuss what to do, and he's absolutely and without question one of the most powerful people in the kingdom, largely by accident.

So he finds out very promptly, when she's not getting married.

He's in the library, helping reshelve books because the librarian is getting on in years and can't do it so well herself. Bellamy thinks she's hoping he'll take over the position, when she's ready to retire, and he wouldn't mind, assuming he didn't have anything else to do.

And since Clarke is currently in a meeting with her mother and Monty and a bunch of nobles, he thinks he'll know soon, if he does have something else. This is when he's going to find out if there's a chance, or if they have to figure out how to live with her marrying Monty. It does feel survivable. Especially with Miller. He'd feel bad, if Monty was alone, but he's not going to be, no matter what. He's definitely got Miller.

The only warning he has that Clarke's coming is the start of the librarian saying, "Your hi--" and when he turns to see who came in, he finds himself with his arms full of Clarke, her face buried against his neck.

"Hi," he says, soft, tugging her closer. It feels like she might be crying, and she's holding him so tight. "I honestly can't tell if this is good or bad news. Did you--"

"Our new agreement is that I have to marry an untitled Arcadian," she says, and he shivers at the press of her lips against his shoulder. "To make sure we aren't dissolving this alliance for a more advantageous one. So, if you're not spoken for--"

He lets out a sharp, bright laugh. "I'm spoken for," he teases. "You know I'm spoken for."

"I do." She pulls back to look at him, and she's a little teary, but smiling, beaming, lighting up the whole world. "Will you marry me?"

He catches her jaw with his hand and tilts her face up, lets himself savor the second where her eyes flutter shut in anticipation, and then he finally--finally--kisses her. Her lips are soft and already slightly parted, and he tastes it when her mouth turns up in a smile, just for a second, before she presses closer, kisses him back, fingers tangling in his hair. She's not the first person he's kissed, and he knows he's not the first person he's kissed either, but it's never been like this before, because he's never been in love with anyone but her.

He's not sure how long it goes, that first kiss, but every time he thinks about pulling back, she'll make a noise, or her fingers will twist in his hair, and he doesn't know how. They won't get married until her birthday, which is another month, and he's not concerned it's going to be that long before he gets to do this again, but--they've been waiting for so long. They deserve something nice.

Miller's the one who finally says, "If the princess dies from lack of oxygen, I'm the one they're going to punish."

Clarke tugs his lip gently with her teeth and then pulls back, her smile still blinding. His own expression must be ridiculous, but he doesn't care.

He gets to marry the girl he loves. He gets to just--love her. He doesn't have to worry about it anymore.

"You know you can breathe and kiss someone at the same time, right?" Clarke asks Miller, leaning against Bellamy's chest. "But thanks for looking out for me."

"That's my job, right?" asks Miller, and then his eyes flick to Bellamy with a smile. "For the next month, anyway."

"I never said I was marrying her," Bellamy points out, and Clarke elbows him. He kisses her hair. "But I am, yeah. I've got her."

*

"I think I need a guard," Monty tells them, a week before the wedding.

"Why?" asks Clarke.

"I'm a prince. I'm important. And you're probably going to get a new entourage, right?"

"Probably," she agrees, glancing at Bellamy. "You're going to be the prince consort, I don't think anyone can disrespect you for your heritage."

"If they do, I can have them killed, right?"

"Yeah, that's the sign of a good ruler."

Bellamy turns his attention to Monty. "So, you want Clarke's guard?"

"Desperately," Monty says. "I didn't get to marry the princess, so I should get something, right?"

"You didn't want to marry me," Clarke teases.

"No, definitely not. But still."

"Yeah," says Bellamy. "I think we can work something out."

And, he has to say, it's a much better arrangement than he thought he'd get.

Honestly, it's perfect.

[arcisfoodblog]

Day 2 of my business trip (and venture into the Nordic cuisine) was very satisfying. After spending the entire day in negotiations for a Danish tax audit, its satisfactory result made the visit to Geranium*** that night even better. Geranium opened in 2007 in Copenhagen’s Rosenborg Gardens but the original inception had been closed due to bankruptcy of one of its investors in 2009, but reopened in its current location at the Per Henrik Lings Allé in 2010.

The head-chef Rasmus Kofoed has a quite impressive resume as he is the only chef in the world that won bronze (2005), silver (2007) as well as gold (2011) on the prestigious Bocuse d’Or competition. The restaurant got its first Michelin star in 2012 and the second and third followed in quick succession: 2013 and 2016. On April 5, it was announced that Geranium holds the 19th spot on the 2017 San Pellegrino’s The World’s 50 Best Restaurants (up from 28th in 2016) and wine list – overseen by Wine Director Søren Lodet – has been awarded the best Champagne and Sparkling Wine list for 2016. Enough accolades, I knew for sure that I was in for a treat that night…

The restaurant is advertised as dining in the canopy overlooking the Fælledparken, which sounds a lot better than dining on the 8th floor of the FC København football stadium. However, as soon as you exit the elevator, you step into a totally different atmosphere. Greeted heartily, I was ushered into the light dining area with indeed beautiful views over the park. The sunset was already at 8pm, but it must be spectacular dining there in the height of summer.

I was seated at a large round table just in front of the open kitchen which had been remodeled last year so that the entire dining area has a view on the kitchen rather than only the first four tables (which are no longer there) that had a side view. Luckily there was also a Dutch guy in the kitchen, Ruud, who served and explained some of the dishes and helped impromptu on Dutch translations of some of the ingredients.

After choosing a glass of champagne from 3 options – I went for a 2009 Brut Nature Champagne, La Pulpe et Le Grain Champagne by Charles Dufour (DKK 200 / € 27) – I was handed a small letter with a welcoming message from Rasmus and Søren, explaining their view on how they cook and source products as well as the wine list. It was immense: close to 80 pages with incredible wines, which often could also be offered as vertical tastings.

About the menu choices On the back of the note was the set menu, “The Spring Universe”. In principle, there are 4 seasonal menus but besides the signature dishes there are occasional changes within the seasons too. The menu is DKK 2.000 / € 269 and consists of 5 appetizers and 11 dishes – 8 savory and 3 sweet – and concluded with sweets to go with coffee or tea. The regular wine pairing was DKK 1.400 / € 188 (for 7 wines) and a juice pairing will set you back DKK 700 / € 94. As I was feeling much better than the night before, fermented grape juice it was…

Besides the regular wine pairing by the glass, also 3 more exclusive options were available. A Wine Lovers Experience with 6 rare and special wines by the glass for DKK 3.300 / € 443. To top that, for larger groups, there were also two possibilities to go berserk with pairings of 6 entire bottles, but those wines are exceptional (top cuvées from Taittigher and Krug, a 1982 Château Mouton Rothschild, a 1986 Chateau d’Yquem, etc.) and therefore also come at an exceptional price level: DKK 30.000 / € 4.000 for the The Great Bottle Experience and a whopping DKK 75.000 / € 10.000 for the Extreme Bottle Experience.

“More important than the food pairing is the person with whom you drink the wine…”

This quote from Christian Moueix of Dominus Estate donned on the first page of the wine list. So, there I was, stitting on my own, flicking the 80 pages of the wine list… I proptly decided to splash out and go for the Wine Lovers Experience. 😇

The Appetizers

Lobster, Milk, Juice from Fermented Carrots and Sea Buckthorn

Jerusalem Artichoke Leaves, Hazelnut Oil and Rye Vinegar

Next appetizer was the ingenious “Tomato Water, Ham Fat and Aromatic Herbs”:

Tomato Water, Ham Fat and Aromatic Herbs:

Charred Potato in Aroma from Bark and Sheep’s Butter

“Razor Clam” with Minerals and Sour Cream

The Savory dishes First up was the “Dillstone” Trout, Horseradish and Frozen Juice from Pickled Dill:

Salted Hake, Parsley Stems and Finnish Caviar in Buttermilk

These first two savory dishes were accompanied by a 2014 Pouilly Fumé Tryptique by A. Cailbourdin, a citrusy fresh and clean Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire Valley in France.

The next dish was Scallop, Filippa Apple, Scallop Roe and Browned Butter which was paired with an amazing 2014 Trout Gulch Vineyard Chardonnay by Ceritas Wines sourced from grapes from the Santa Cruz Mountains in California.

An entire bread course(!) followed the scallops: “Crispy Grains, Bread with Old Grains and Gluten Free Bread with Seeds”. No wine pairing, but my leftover Chardonnay was not bad at all.

“Pickled Carrots, Smoked Pork Fat and Melted Vesterhavs Cheese” which was paired with a vibrant yet dry 2009 Silberlack Riesling “Erstes Gewächs” by Schloss Johannisberger, Rheingau, Germany

Lightly Salted Turbot, Celeriac and Pickled Pine

Walnuts, Cep Mushroom Soup and Black Truffle

The turbot and mushroom dishes were paired with a glass of exquisite NV Grande Cuvée Champagne from Krug, a special blend of more than 120 wines from 10 or more different years.

“Grilled Lamb, Ramson and Sheep Cream with Smoked Lumpfish Roe” 

The lamb dish which was paired with a 2009 Les Forts de Latour by Château Latour, Pauillac, France. Although this Les Forts de Latour is “only” the second label of this famous winery, this excellent 2009 vintage was incredibly powerful, but paired very well with the grilled lamb as well as the roe.

Intermezzo At the end of the savory part of the Spring Universe menu, Ruud invited me for a quick tour of the restaurant and the different sections of the kitchen. Explaining along the way the rigor and methodological approach in the kitchen: from getting the fresh produce via different stations for cleaning, prepping, storing, portioning, all the way to the open kitchen that needs to finish and assemble the dishes during service. His favorite was the drying room for the charcuterie that they make themselves at Geranium. The smell escaping when he opened the door was very special, a huge wall of umami. It was chockful of experiments with various stages of drying and jars of pickled ingredients. The wine cellars sections were pretty impressive; big wine list = big storage. After having a look in the test kitchen and the private dining area, we made our way back to the dining area. The actual Bocuse d’Or trophies were on display at the back of the restaurant!

The sweet dishes After the tour, it was time for desserts, which were all paired by an Hungarian sweet wine: a 2005 furmint-based Tokaji Aszú 6 Puttonyos by Oremus.

A Bite of Beetroot, Blackcurrant, Yoghurt and Tagetes

Ice Cream from Beeswax and Pollen, Dried Apple, Black Honey and Elderberries

Caramel with Roasted Grains, Chamomile and Pear

To finish this amazing night, I ordered an espresso which was prepared at the table.

It apparently started with a joke from Rasmus as he bought this ROK espresso maker on eBay and tasked the Italian waiter to get the hang of it. Italians should know how to make a proper espresso, right? After 3 weeks of experimentation with process and quantities (and therefore getting a serious workout), he indeed succeeded to crank out very nice espressos.

As the pièce de résistance there were sweets served with the espresso:

Front to back: Caramel, Dried plum juice and aromatic seeds Pumpkin tree and cake with pumpkin seed oil Marshmallow with rose hip Chocolate with oats and sea buckthorn Green egg with pine

About the dinner As to be expected, the delicious food was stunningly presented, inventive yet harmonious and ever so subtle in flavors and textures. The wines themselves were absolutely special and worth the hefty price. The service was impeccable: incredibly attentive, knowledgable, inquiring beyond mere courtesy and willing to answer to all my questions on the wines and food. It was a pleasure to sit back and just watch everybody serve the different tables as a well-oiled machine.

In conclusion: simply the best dinner I have ever had. I must have been sitting there with an idiot grin from ear to ear the entire evening.

Around the World – Geranium***, Copenhagen, Denmark (March 2017) Day 2 of my business trip (and venture into the Nordic cuisine) was very satisfying. After spending the entire day in negotiations for a Danish tax audit, its satisfactory result made the visit to Geranium*** that night even better.