#translated code

[artwithkai69]

I DECIPHERD THE CONTRACT PAGE..

You are now twenty one grams lighter

This contract is legal and binding.

We reserve the right to use your likeness, face, voice and small town place in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary.

Sans soul, your soul mate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day, never making eye contact, not even processing you have eyes at all. no amount of interaction will move them to a place where they can remember. In feeling, the thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together, each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river. You were birds, you were trees with roots entangled, drinking in the sunlight together. "Wherever we go next, whatever you choose, I will always be there with you." That's done, buddy. Congratulations! You have chosen Bill instead.

McDonald's reserves the right to put a giant yellow M on your torso and forehead and send you running through a crowded times square while you scream "The fries! The fries! They don't degrade in nature!!! It's an immortal food!!! They will be in the landfills long past our deaths!"

Good God, the things I've seen, me? Who I am? Oh I'm Bill's previous lawyer, he put my soul in a quill pen so I can write him legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe. I used to be so hot, I was so fine, now I'm fine print. Speaking of which!

Bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object, a strange creature, a concept, a sentence, a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it. If at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul, you will be swiftly denied, unless you have a cool day planned for the both of you, then Bill might want to come along!

By signing this document you forfeit any rights to eat soul food, it will turn to ash in your mouth, a fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you.

Bill reserved the rights to dress your soul however deems necessary, especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition, Soulmakeoverrr! Your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects, this has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die.

Signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife, including but not limited to: Heaven, hell, purgatory, big corner, flow state, the dream house, the reincarnation processing center, axolotls tank and consequences hole.

Signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bell bottoms. signee can no longer have a puppy as best friend, they can sense what is gone. Cats are indifferent.

Signee may experience occasional demon possesion from Horcukus the Red, Plabos the Merciless, Morbus son of Mortem, Plagga the Oozing and other such common demons roaming earth searching for weakend, empty vessels.

Tips for ripping your soul out at home: Watching youtube commentary channels, attending on extended family with an open bar, using generative AI and asserting that you are creative, turning a blind eye to human suffering, amassing more wealth than needed purchasing a blue checkmark.

this took me like 6 hours in total my brain is fried

[s0up1ta]

i hate them so much

[plasmapop]

28/04/24 • catullus 51 translated via the international code of signals

BC 1 Can you communicate with the aircraft? NE 5 You should proceed with great caution; hostile vessel sighted NH 1 Are you clear of all danger? EA Have you sighted or heard of a vessel in distress?  ZL Your signal has been received but not understood. QF I cannot go ahead MBP Onset was sudden.  PG 2 I am dazzled by your searchlight. Extinguish it or lift it. [IB 4 The extent of the damage is still unknown.]  MHB Tongue is dry. YS I am unable to communicate… DV 1 I am adrift. MBE The whole body is affected. IX Fire is gaining.  FD 1 My position is indicated by rockets or flares. PG I do not see any light. EP I have lost sight of you. MY 2 It is dangerous to proceed on present course. AE 1 I wish to abandon my vessel, but have not the means. GC 2 I have searched area of accident but have found no trace of derelict or survivors

[morningsaidthemoon]

Excerpt from The Song of Roland, translated by Norma Lorre Goodrich (Medieval Myths)

[rakiah]

[breath in, breath out] …… Can we talk about those lines?

[codgod]

noth1ng crazy has happ3ned

[alt version under the cut]

ended up liking the blank background more buuut this is also cool

[divorcedwife]

putting them in the 18th century

[hinamie]

I dive into the water and struggle on the surface where I can't stand

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[ohgreat-moretapes]

Marble what now? Who? I-It sounds vaguely familiar.. I guess...

And uhhhh... Let's just say I've been busy...

[ahalliance]

interesting lore moment with the francophone yesterday (as in, it personally gave me brainworms) ft. qétoiles’ horrible, no good, stupid (lack of) self-preservation . subs in English, transcript below the cut

All spoken in French — translated into English subtitles

[Video transcript:

Etoiles: And, actually, I have a theory. Basically what happened is that I’ve just returned from a mission from Cucurucho.

Antoine: And what was the mission?

Etoiles: To do a dungeon, and to recover something from the dungeon.

Antoine: And what was this “something”?

Etoiles: And the “something” was a book that sorta says that I’m a test subject.

Antoine: A test subject?!

Baghera: What’s up with your arm? You’ve got a coded arm.

Etoiles: Uh, it’s from holding the shield, basically.

Baghera: Ahhh

(Pause)

Antoine: Watch out that it doesn’t contaminate you, or else you’ll turn into a code, man.

Etoiles: That’s impossible, man, I can’t be a code.

Antoine: That’s what the old codes said before becoming codes, you know.

Etoiles: No— well, we’ve never spoken.

Baghera: Maybe you shouldn’t be using the shield as much then, no?

Etoiles: Well, as it stands, I’ve been using it for a really long time, and my mind is still healthy, honestly. And the proof is—

Baghera: Well, half of his face took the brunt of it instead.

Etoiles: Yeah, but it’s not all there is, you know.

(Pause)

Baghera: Let me worry, Etoiles, right now.

Etoiles: You’re right. You’re right! But everything’s going well, I’m doing very, very well—

Antoine: It’s true that you look a bit sick.

Etoiles: Uh, yeah, for the past seven years, it’s a chronic illness, it happened—

Antoine: No, but not this one, the other— you seem even sicker, still.

Etoiles: Yeah, okay. Yeah but no, I’m fine. No, no, it’s fine, honestly.

End Video Transcript.]

[kristiliqua]

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[lostl1sbons1ster]

me core

[nadox]

Guys, I think we're on the roll.

This new novel will drop on 30 August along side with the love comedy Raincode novel on 19 August.

[emry-stars-art]

Oops wrong au 👀🦈🪼

[pixlokita]

Page 23 oooh boy

Previous - next- first

[marragurl]

Not the first to say it, but damn can’t believe Galladay really went from toxic yaoi to doomed tragic yaoi.

Alright fellow Galladay trash, where’s the modern AU fix-it fics?

I need to see Gallagher single dad with Misha plus their dog/cat Sleepie falling for entertainment company CEO Sunday. Don’t ask me how they met, fuck it, throw in bodyguard AU Gallagher who works part-time at a bar, boom there that’s how they meet, idk I’m making this up on 3 hours of sleep.

You’ve heard of slow burns, now get ready for Galladay blaze it.

They’re speedrunning the relationship from hate -> annoyance -> mild disgruntlement -> weirdly vibing -> ok wow never knew I needed that in my life -> Sunday is way too ok with spoiling Misha -> ok so we got married -> alright we’re dismantling the government now -> Sunday went to jail for 5 minutes for attempting “peaceful” world domination, don’t worry we (Gallagher) forgave him -> Sunday’s stepping down as CEO to run a coffeeshop idk look someone get him some therapy -> Robin is president now while she still goes on tours -> Misha won an engineering competition while this was all going on

Bottom line: Robin is out living her best life while Sunday is in the back somehow having the most insane week of his life. I have no other notes for her here except that she is happy, and successful, and is Sunday’s last remaining brain cell. She and Misha are having some fun Aunt/Nephew bonding times while Galladay are accidentally-on-purpose committing multiple war crimes.

No, we don’t have time to unpack 2.2 and all its trauma, we cope with modern AU :)