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kidmachinate · 2 years ago

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Unrealistic Expectations

I can’t help but wonder about something while joining the masses in doing mindless activities. Said activities done sometimes simply out of habit, constantly scrolling news feeds, social media, or YouTube. What I wonder many times while doing this is how we’ve become quite entitled in many aspects. While I can point to many different examples, this became extremely clear these last two weekends when I played the Diablo IV beta. Plus, gaming is a big theme on this blog of sorts, so I’ll stick to that. This opinion is gonna get a be spicy, if you will.

The amount of complaints for a game that is in Beta, not even a demo, but in beta, truly astounded me. Should this mean we don’t point out issues? Absolutely not. However, claiming you have been ripped off when getting access to a beta period because it “didn’t work right” is simply not valid. You got exactly what you paid for. Access to a beta. You’d think people in the glorious “PC Master Race” would understand what a beta even is and not say these things, but here we are. Now I have to be clear and even in doing so, someone will get mad. I think the same crap mentality goes into why one would be mad for sharing a difference in opinion. Activision-Blizzard is a company rotten at the core. They deserve much of the hate they get. Without getting into all the toxicity in the workplace and keeping it focused on the topic of gaming, they released Diablo: Immortal. One of the absolute worst games put out under the disguise of an awesome IP, just to nickel and dime people when it comes to the true replay value of a Diablo title. The end-game. The nonsense behind microtransactions, battle passes, and the like are issues gamers are very well aware of. Diablo IV is supposed to be the opposite along with a “cometic only” battle pass. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. I realize this is a risky move. One I’ve already dumped my money into. I’m not going to deny myself the enjoyment of a game I know I’m not going to avoid forever if at all because of nonsense they did that I have no control over. I’m sure it is the same stance people are doing with Hogwarts Legacy. I held my tongue on this because there is no point. We want to enjoy what we want to enjoy. Things aren’t as black and white as we sometimes like to think. Every choice to purchase or not purchase should be based on our own merits and this will also mean that some things we don’t purchase, due to similar reasons. If someone doesn’t buy D4 due to their shit treatment of workers, that would be legitimate. If someone doesn’t purchase Hogwarts due to the dismissal of trans rights seen in the game, I get that too. I’ll see many playing both games regardless and we need to let people enjoy things, so I shut the hell up.

Having gotten a bit sidetracked here, back to the main point. Why do many of us swear we are game developers or experts when we aren’t? Because we aren’t, what some may be doing is consuming facts from experts and sometimes expressing opinions solely based on that, without personal experience. Something that at least should be shared, if you’re going to present that kind of take, instead of presenting yourself like an authority figure on the matter. It’s crazy. Whether is it a game, TV show, whatever, the biggest issue are the keyboard warriors and trolls throughout. Maybe to some this is entertainment…but it actually holds no value and doesn’t lead to any productive discussion. I ignore these takes or choose not to engage, but I see them. They exist. I just find myself continuously shaking my head as a result. Getting the nonsense out of the way, my secondary thinking is even while I likely enjoy Diablo IV or really whatever else, am I making the most of my time?

Knowing gaming is a huge hobby of mine, I’m trying to make sure I do so with intent. Not just playing whatever is new and/or on sale. As I say this, I’m still a bit guilty of the latter point. Thanks Steam. Buying a Steam Deck that I love (free from a company bonus, btw) that I love doesn’t exactly help the matter. Where do I truly want my money spent? Am I doing it for the right reasons? Can I park my money in certain investments and put it to good use? You can do both but intent matters here. You’ve gotta have balance. If we all had a bit more of this, we wouldn’t be so quick I think to jump down someone’s throat for something that they don’t agree with. Gaming is turning into topics I like to avoid due to the amount of people with one way or no way mentalities. Said three topics are religion, politics, and sports. While people who can discuss these in a meaningful way exists, misery loves company and there are many looking for a fight. I’m just not interested in this anymore as it is no different than wasting time with whatever other time-consuming thing that is probably bad. If I do some of these very things in moderation and with an open mind, it becomes more fulfilling as well as staying true to myself.

By the time this goes live, I will have already purchased or am close to purchasing a Paperwhite. Why? I want to combine two things that are the core of my being outside of work. Gaming and finances. While a Paperwhite will not allow for gaming in the traditional sense, gaming has rich lore in book formats. Instead of worrying about potential challenge in a game, I can imagine it as presented instead. Sometimes I do this through YouTube by listening but then I just end up doing it too long. I want to avoid that where possible. I also want to read more on finances to enrich my life. I can do both in one place with the paperwhite. I am choosing the Paperwhite instead of a Kindle because I won’t be able to install apps that do the same things as my phone can already do. I’d be tempted to pick up the phone to check whatever it may be and consume accordingly. This is something I can take on the go. It would be more educational however, because I also have a Steam Deck and Nintendo Switch. If I actually want to play something, I can have that on the go as well. A theme I am embracing more and more by the day. A backpack with items of value to keep on the go, carry stuff for work, have a notepad to write down the important stuff. All this is like rediscovering myself. Seeing things in a new light. Maybe in clearing out the clutter, it leads to new habit and more meaningful connections with people I find myself talking to most often.

To conclude yet another post a bit scatterbrained but with a purpose, I simply say to anyone with eyes on this, take a moment for yourself. We seek hits of dopamine in several aspects of our lives. Are we managing this, or it is managing us? To circle back to Diablo IV, it is certainly the latter for people with nothing better to do than complain about a test period in a video game. Mindset is key for both what you consume as well as how you choose to treat yourself when having free time.

#diablo iv #unrealistic #gaming #activision #blizzard #progression #closed beta #open beta

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uncanny-tranny · 3 years ago

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hi ? sorry. i saw someone else ask you questions about gender and being trans. but if it’s not cool to ask or you don’t answer this type of question i understand and you can ignore

emyway, i was born afab, but i want to be a boy so bad ? but i like, also want to be a girl and like being a girl. i wish that i could have my body and name and pronouns (she her? maybe ? ah !) but just be known as a boy. i don’t know if that makes sense. maybe i’m crazy. i would just be so much happier if i was born as a boy. i would give anything to be able to transition and not want to be feminine or just be a cis guy somehow and be happy. i don’t know. headache.

I want to lend you my biggest support in your journey. This can be a frustrating path to traverse (and confusing, at times), but you are the captain of your ship.

If you send this in hopes that I can tell you what gender is "really yours," I hope you know that I can never do that. Nobody can but you. There is no higher authority in your identity than yourself. While I encourage all people who are questioning to take their time and to even listen to the personal experiences of people who have shared their journies, it ultimately is up to you to decide what label - if any - you'd like to use (same with names or pronouns or anything else).

Please take however long you need to discover what works for you - in the long run, it seems to be very beneficial. I've found that rushing yourself to find out "what you are truly" can sometimes hurt more than help. You don't need to know right now, and whatever labels you use don't have to be forever. You are not beholden to labels - it's the opposite way around. The labels you use are beholden to you, so you can use a new label or toss an old one aside if you don't think it fits you anymore. You are the master of your universe.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #sometimes it IS confusing! it's confusing to even people who uave been out for YEARS #hell in the time between when i made this blog and now my identity has evolved and my labels have changed...#...i have been out-out for almost six YEARS now...#...i think realizing that you are allowed to change and it's not only natural but completely normal and good is a great thing...#...you don't owe it to anybody to have a set-in-stone-never-ever-changing identity...#...and if your identity doesn't shift or change that's also a good and natural thing. you deserve to listen to yourself #i can't tell you how to identify and i sincerely apologize if i ever came across as an authority to tell you how to identify #i appreciate you coming to me with this and being brave to make it known to others (you don't owe people your backstory too)#anon i truly truly wish you well. i wish you affirming days and lovely nights and the peace of mind to take this all at YOUR pace

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skinfeeler · 4 years ago

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you may notice so-called progressive members of religions (including those which are minority religions in ‘the west’) spend much more time on critics of religion than conservatives in their own circles. sentiments such as “X discussion belongs within the community” might clue us in as on why, but allow me to proffer a red thread that i believe i have identified throughout all of this.

it is, obviously, true that critique of religion often constitutes or is a vehicle for assorted bigotries. a certain vigilance can be understandable and i advocate among my peers to not let us become callous of the very real dangers that members of certain ethnic and cultural groups (however one might understand these) face, even people marginalised in and by such religious communities. this is then, in fact, the crux of my project: the acknowledgment that say, ex-muslims aren’t really helped by islamophobia given the fact that it’s not like they’re going to get support from those people peddling it, which is exactly why it’s so tragic that many of them feel there’s no place for them on the left, because so many people on the left refuse to acknowledge that even though islamophobia is well, extant, it’s not like people stuck in certain spheres (among which gay and trans people, women, and all children) are impervious from being harmed just because larger society might not be accepting of those who level that harm unto them. this much then is important: to do right by everyone who must be done right by in whatever way and to leave people’s dignity intact, and to do so in such a way that cannot be co-opted by white supremacists and the like— the most important way to do this is to attack the concept of parental authority, which (culturally) christian conservatives will never accept but will resolve basically all problems that result from the shape of religion as a non-elective membership propagated through the family (as structured by clergy etc etc, whatever).

inoffensive as this clause should be to anyone who claims to be part of the left — which must fundamentally oppose the family for either marxist reasons per engels or for other reasons — even anti-theism which very clearly takes this form is mistaken, usually on purpose, by many religious apologists, to be something it’s not. one of those things that get invoked is the very real white supremacism and imperialist thought that is too endemic in our circles. i’ll admit to tendencies herein appearing from time to time — including in myself, at times, regrettably — but i also insist that a large part of this is simply the fact that while religious people enjoy the benefits of community and avenues for discussion and review, many of us do not: all we have at this stage, sadly, is the diatribes of new atheists who consider christendom an important ‘bulwark’ to protect the ‘occident’ who are useless to anything but an insipid culture war. mistakes are going to be made, and i think some small leeway should be allowed those most ambitious of us who still have a clear and provable dedication to justice and equity (and this is in fact the point of any useful notion of freedom of speech), especially since what we currently have works for nobody except those who want first and foremost to remain comfortable— which is exactly what i believe describes so many anti-anti-theists, but we do in fact need an alternative.

it’s not easy to be leftist and religious and my heart goes out to those who try, even if i don’t ultimately think that where they are heading will allow them to keep their principles coherent and intact: members of one’s congregation and one’s spiritual leaders may tacitly condone or endorse ethnic cleansing in the levant, assorted infant genital maiming rituals, reifications of gender that only those least abject to it can find peace with (consider the humble theyfab), the imperative and exaltation of procreation, to name a few possibilities, which one then is implicitly required to respect in order to remain part of such communities, and i understand the struggle of wanting to be or remain part of those and to have to tangle with that. what i don’t understand then, though, is the abhorrence of people outside such circles who perform critique of the like: i simply do not agree with the fact that certain discussions should stay within the community and they should be well left alone in literally every way with no demands made given the fact that certain members in those communities who this harm is visited upon and whose membership isn’t elective (including all children) do not have voice or agency in those discussions — they deserve support and solidarity across cultural lines, especially as it’s apostates from so many religions who helped me survive and i will owe this to them forever — let alone those in the outgroup who fall victim to the real geopolitical consequences of the substance of certain positions that proliferate in some of these communities, as is now more relevant than ever. this latter aspect is obvious to even the progressive religious apologist, however… at least those conservatives, both inside the congregation and in much more conservative movements don’t threaten what they perceive to be the faith.

an instantiation of this which i will see even most progressive religious people abhor is the notion that any religion is tied, inherently, to not just a nation, but a state. and so they can quibble with their zionist peers and spiritual leaders on this, because both of them have one thing in common: the idea that even if one’s religion/culture is not most meaningfully embodied through state, it is through family, and the criticism of the conservative that the progressive has is not that they are wrong, but merely inauthentic and clinging to something unnecessary, but they are not. i vehemently disagree: the nature of most organised religions has changed through both necessity and acknowledged moral imperative. why can a religion which doesn’t transmit through the family (one of only adult converts perhaps) be envisioned— which in turn wouldn’t depend so heavily on the reification of bodies and family immanent in the aforementioned (a conclusion worth stressing on its own)? if you ask me, it’s a matter of a lack of courage borne from a lack of understanding of history— one may want to read doubt: a history by jennifer michael hecht who is considered jewish according to halakha (for however much that fucking means) who speaks on what the german jews in the 19th century, understanding that they could either stay stuck in the present (and thus have their worldview eventually become as farcical as those who believed that recreating the temple era of judaism was either viable or desirable in any histiographical or theological sense as a result of you know, history historying) or establish those principles which they believed were actually important that could be passed on regardless of how judaism was envisioned before. their work, however hegelian in nature, produced some of the greatest minds even among their apostates, including theodor adorno. turns out that even when people become philosophers rather than rabbis (or ministers, or imams, or gurus), they have plenty to offer, there is wisdom and value in exalting sagehood above the pulpit and how the pulpit must always lay down the law for the mechanisms of familial transmission.

consider second, the ancient greeks: the ancient greeks no longer possess the structures required to exercise their worldviews and theodicies as a bloc (in diaspora or otherwise). regardless, many of their concepts and wisdoms persist in various cultures literally all across the worlds, including mine: their strands of cultural dna have germinated in a larger cosmopolitan phenotype, and i believe this is beautiful and worthwhile in its own right, and in no way whatsoever a loss. sure, their influence might not be recognisable as an enduring culture, but does that make it any less valuable? no, not in the slightest. the fact is, once you are on the other side this is the most normal thing in the world, nobody will mourn it, and everyone who wishes to return will be easily dismissed as entertaining a fantasy. the only way to forestall this is in fact a tautological clinging to the present which will necessarily through the course of history become an immanence of reaction, after all, the prime fallacy of reactionary thought is that it is in fact possible to recreate the past, which is plainly not true except perhaps for aesthetic but which will regardless necessarily be rooted in the current conditions of the world. all that forestalling this progression constitutes is the insistence on the completely artificial. much like the workings of the state are one that imposes a false reality, a phantasm, a reification onto the world, so with family, and literally the moment you stop propping it up it will be superceded. let me repeat that: supercession is inevitable, and the most sophisticated elements of any culture acknowledge this and have for literal centuries (although some cultures are ahead of others in this regard by-and-large). for every generation of a culture persisting as itself, apostates and deviants emerge and at this rate they have done more for the progress within any cultural body than will ever happen within such cultural bodies, which must begrudgingly acknowledge that they are dependent on modernity in order to make any progress at all (and as such, will wither away together with modernity), although of course they will deny this at any front— the adaptation of any covenant is desperately contingent on integration and naturalisation of the apostate and the ‘modern’, or at least her wisdom , which the embodied religious individual will then, of course, pretend to practisee more ‘maturely’ than the apostate because they insist on integrating it in a neutered fashion where it is stripped of future potential of development until the next steal comes along, which is better than fully embodied anti-atheism as the ever-sublating struggle against entropy, for some fucking reason.

this is the promise of ‘externality’ that foucault dreamt of: that there is a way of thinking ‘outside the box’ that allows us to once and for all dispel and move on from the ways of thinking that we cannot think outside of. derrida then disputed him by arguing that there is no outside context. derrida is right— regardless, i remain optimistic: perhaps this cosmopolitan neotenous emergence is a culture in itself, but it is as divergent from what came before as christianity is to judaism, and islam to both christianity and judaism. all it takes is courage, and once the leap of faith has been made, this state of affairs will be the most normal thing in the world. in light of this, the claim that anticlericalism is simply an outwash of christendom becomes obviously farcical and a clear double standard when one considers in juxtaposition their insistence that christianity is divergent from what came before, even though in both cases (christendom versus judaism, anticlericalism versus christendom) perhaps some commonality in language exists and perhaps some people exist who have not managed to estrange themselves from the trappings of christian thought— not to mention the worldwide history of anticlericalism that is yet to be integrated which exists exactly because clericalism necessarily has the same structure and function across all religions. join me in this supercessionist bliss, reject the idea that chronology of thought implies that successors are one and the same as what they draw upon or co-opt, and help usher in the only future world worth conceiving of, resting easy and comfortable in the truthful rejection of the notion that any culture needs to cling to the notion of familial transmission to have any worth at all or that its existence as such is inevitable. the complete and utter nullification of familial logic will happen regardless of whether you want it or not anyway, because it is as artificial as the logic of nation and state and likewise unsustainable and on its death march— this is the one and final eschatology of this world which is not a threat, but a promise, since it will (and can) not be the result so much of repression but of religion collapsing under its own weight, and this much is only uncomfortable to those who are disciples to the family regardless of whether they admit it to themselves or not.

#atheism #avery speaks

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richincolor · 4 years ago

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Jessica’s 2020 Favorites

2020 has been a roller coaster, and frankly, it's a roller coaster I can't wait to get off! But it's been a banner year for incredible YA reads, particularly YA reads by BIPOC authors. My favorite books in 2020 have all been (surprise, surprise) by LGBTQ authors of color, and centering QTPoC stories. Without further ado, here are my top books from 2020 that you should really read if you haven't already:

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson

Liz Lighty has always believed she's too black, too poor, too awkward to shine in her small, rich, prom-obsessed midwestern town. But it's okay -- Liz has a plan that will get her out of Campbell, Indiana, forever: attend the uber-elite Pennington College, play in their world-famous orchestra, and become a doctor.

But when the financial aid she was counting on unexpectedly falls through, Liz's plans come crashing down . . . until she's reminded of her school's scholarship for prom king and queen. There's nothing Liz wants to do less than endure a gauntlet of social media trolls, catty competitors, and humiliating public events, but despite her devastating fear of the spotlight she's willing to do whatever it takes to get to Pennington.

The only thing that makes it halfway bearable is the new girl in school, Mack. She's smart, funny, and just as much of an outsider as Liz. But Mack is also in the running for queen. Will falling for the competition keep Liz from her dreams . . . or make them come true? [Image and summary via Goodreads]

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

A trans boy determined to prove his gender to his traditional Latinx family summons a ghost who refuses to leave in Aiden Thomas's paranormal YA debut Cemetery Boys, described by Entertainment Weekly as "groundbreaking."

Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can't get rid of him. When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his true gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free.

However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school's resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave. [Image and summary via Goodreads]

How It All Blew Up by Arvin Ahmadi

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda goes to Italy in Arvin Ahmadi's newest incisive look at identity and what it means to find yourself by running away.

Eighteen-year-old Amir Azadi always knew coming out to his Muslim family would be messy--he just didn't think it would end in an airport interrogation room. But when faced with a failed relationship, bullies, and blackmail, running away to Rome is his only option. Right? Soon, late nights with new friends and dates in the Sistine Chapel start to feel like second nature... until his old life comes knocking on his door. Now, Amir has to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth to a U.S. Customs officer, or risk losing his hard-won freedom.

At turns uplifting and devastating, How It All Blew Up is Arvin Ahmadi's most powerful novel yet, a celebration of how life's most painful moments can live alongside the riotous, life-changing joys of discovering who you are. [Image and summary via Goodreads]

Have you read these books? What books by BIPOC authors were your favorite this year?

#you should see me in a crown #cemetery boys #how it all blew up #ya lit #queer ya #lgbtq ya

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starshineandbooks · 5 years ago

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Of ghosts and sons

Based almost entirley off of @lovelylogans‘s Gilmore girls AU - AO3 Tumblr

Read THIS on Ao3

Summary: Remus reflects back on his thoughts of his still living loved ones’ lives. Watching his teenager grow into a married man with a kid.

Also known as: An excuse to write soft dad! Remus and Son! Roman, and explore how a dead Remus feels about his son marrying an academically smart moron.

Word count: 2596

Pairing: Romantic Moxiety, Romantic Logince, familial lampr

Warnings: Dead character (Remus is a ghost kinda?), mild cursing, a few suggestive lines, Remus being Remus, weird food, sympathtic! Remus

Remus figured he achieved a pretty great death. Oh, sure, he misses things, but now he can float around behind people and be himself with free of judgement, which is, nice. Oddly nice. Don’t get him wrong, he’d had friends, ut, even Virgil and Isidora had been a little weirded out every once in a while.

And, he’s watched Virgil and Isidora, of course he did. They mattered to him.

Remus is proud of Virgil, finding a good guy, even if he wasn’t a guy Remus would have chosen, to settle down with. Virgil and Patton, Remus think they’re a good match. He’d have loved to make Patton squirm though. Nothing personal, he liked to make everyone squirm. It was fun!

Patton is also fairly interesting, at first Remus just watched him after earth because he was a scandal. Patton, trans, sixteen year old run away, with a baby. Pretty interesting.

Then, Remus got invested. Oops.

Patton was kind, and a good person. Remus could respect him. Remus isn't so sure that he and Patton would have been friends, but Remus had to admit, Patton was respectable.

Patton Sanders, the kid stood up for himself and his child. Patton befriended Virgil, which is hard enough, then made Virgil love him, which is even harder. Then Virgil fell for Patton romantically, which is a task to make happen.

Patton raised a smart, ambitious kid. Logan. Remus is fond of Logan, but don’t tell anyone. Of course, Logan is also basically Virgil’s kid, which basically makes Remus Logan’s roundabout uncle in a weird way.

Logan is smart, wickedly so in fact. The kid goes to Chilton, and is very ambitious. In a cutthroat manner almost. Yet, Logan is genuinely kind, and cares for Remus’ own child.

That’s another thing. Remus has a kid. A biological child he never met.

Isidora had been someone Remus genuinely loved. Not romantically, but he had loved her more than anything else, except maybe Virgil. But that was a different kind of love.

Isidora, the five foot two latina had been a spitfire of a dancer when Remus knew her. Not much had changed, except, she had Roman not long after Remus died.

And Virgil, bless the man, had fought to be in Roman’s life.

Roman was a lot like his mom, loyal, kind, courageous. Roman was taller than his mother, but just as graceful.

Roman, Remus’ baby, shut up that’s Remus’ baby. His spawn. He’s allowed to be a little sappy.

Roman had grown from an over excited six year old kissing his best-friend-and-first-crush’s skinned knee better into a kind, loyal, selfless teenager who’s a dancer just like his mother.

Remus isn’t stupid. Crazy, inconsiderate, and crass? Sure. But Remus is not and has never been stupid.

He knows that Roman probably is better off for not having him around.

Remus is loud, disruptive, rude, disgusting, and generally the opposite of what is ‘socially acceptable’. Remus even revels in this fact.

But, It’s not always an easy life to lead. And Remus does want Roman to have an easy life where he knows how good he is.

But, on the other hand, he watched Roman struggle with a dad sized cut out hole in his life.

Remus had become something of a myth in Sideshire. Remus, the horror story author recluse, Isidora Prince’s best friend, Roman’s dad, died in a mysterious car crash.

No one really tells Roman much about Remus. So, Roman had a bit of doubt, which is natural.

And Remus is so incredibly proud of Roman. For everything.

Roman had graduated highschool with a solid three point four grade point average. The kid had started college on time and was happy. Roman worked as a dance instructor in the town he attends college in, teaching kids to dance.

Roman ended up with a supportive boyfriend, Logan. And the two are a good couple, built off of friendship, love, trust, and respect. The stuff of fairytales, even if they do argue a little more than they’d admit.

Remus has learned he can in fact visit dreams, and talk to people that way, he’s had some conversations with Virgil and Isidora that way.

But, Remus thinks it might be time to visit his son. Especially since Virgil and Patton are finally engaged and Roman is thinking about proposing to Logan.

So, that’s how Remus finds himself sitting in Lucy’s diner opposite of his son and his son’s boyfriend. Apparently this is a shared dream between the couple. Works just as well, Remus supposes.

After all, Remus is fairly fond of Logan too.

“Excuse me,” Logan says looking up from his book and where his head had been resting on Roman’s shoulder, “Do we know you? You look very familiar, I regret to say I can not place you however.”

Remus grins wickedly, “You wouldn't I’m a ghost! My corpse is rotting six feet under you twerp!”

Roman looks up, startled, “D-dad?”

Logan tilts his head, “Oh, that makes more sense. Hello Remus. Virgil speaks fondly of you.”

“Dad,” Roman whispers again, grabbing Logan’s arm, “Logan, that’s my dad.”

“I know, I can see dear.” Logan says in an exasperated yet fond voice.

“Hello Roman, you really do have a lot of your mother in you. Izzydory, how is she?”

“Izzy- Mama’s okay, she- she misses you. I miss you- uh- Can I miss you? I never met you.”

“You can miss the idea of someone,” Logan chimes, “And you know very well what Virgil would say about dismissing feelings.”

“Yeah,” Roman nods, “I do.”

Remus hums, turning to Lucy when she comes to take his order, “Can I get a bacon shake with Sardines and coffee grounds?”

Lucy just nods and walks off.

“That’s-” Roman chokes, “That’s gross dad.”

Remus laughs delightedly, “That’s the point!”

“He does things for amusement, not because it is logical.”

“There’s no rhyme or reason to what I do kid, I just do a skiddly boo.” Remus smiles, “So, what’s life like for you in the Bronx kid?”

Roman just stares blankly at his father, “This can't be real, I’ve gotta be dreaming, Lo, darling, I’m dreaming right?”

Logan just sighs, “I had assumed I was, I don’t know Roman, one of us is for sure.”

“You both are, it’s a shared dream,” Remus nods sagely, “You guys could get up to some steamy things since you can share dreams-”

“And as Virgil would say, stop it, fam.” Logan drawls unsure, then signs, shaking his head, “Also, what in the world is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, I just meant you two could use the dreams to have dream sex-”

“Please stop,” Logan groans, putting his face in his hands and making a distressed sound, “Why are you like this? That is your son.”

“I know!” Remus cheers, “So, Roman, any questions?”

Roman stares at Remus, “I- I had so many, but- I can’t remember them now.”

Logan turns and whispers something to Roman.

Roman nods, “That’s right, thanks specs!”

“What’s right kid?” Remus asks.

“Oh, I’ve just always wondered, am I- Am I doing the right thing? I mean, if you’re really Remus, you’ve not seen me my whole life, like, yeah i”m your kid but, I’m not raised by you. Did- Did I do okay? Have I made you proud at least?”

Logan looks rather upset from the question, Remus notes. If the dead man had to guess, he’d say it’s because Logan doesn't like that Roman doubts himself.

And Remus doesn't like it either.

No, he is not being sentimental, shut the hell your mouth.

Remus tilts his head, “I’ve been watching you Roman. You to Logan, but Ro, kid, mijo, you’ve done well.”

Roman’s face is almost comical to Remus, wide eyes, mouth quirked up, eyebrows drawn up. A twinge of relief in the breath Roman lets out. Remus thinks he looks like an overly excited puppy. But that’s Remus’ over excited puppy.

Logan smiles gently, hidden almost. Remus does think it’s interesting how similar Logan is to Virgil.

“Really?” Roman breathes out, sounding even more like an overly excited puppy.

“I very much doubt him to be lying Roman, your mother has never put up with liars before, I doubt she would have in the father of her child.” Logan says simply, well, simply for the eighteen year old genius.

“Really, kid. You graduated with a good GPA, you got out of Sideshire, you’re a dancer just like your mother, you’re brave, and just, and kind, but don’t tell anyone I said any of this sappyniess. And kid, Roman, you’re doing good.”

“Thank you,” Roman says softly.

“You should not thank him Ro,” Logan scoffs, “He said the truth, it’s not like he offered to walk you down the aisle at your wedding.”

“Our wedding,” Roman says quickly, “My wedding will be ours.”

Logan blinks, flushing steadily, “Uh-”

“Hopefully!” Roman chimes, “I mean to hopefully!”

“God you’re obnoxiously cute, you know that?” Remus rolls hie eyes, “I’m sure you’ll both be married forever to each other and have some sappy loving relationship.”

“Thanks? I think.” Logan sighs, shaking his head.

“Hey, dad?” Roman starts, “Uh, got any life advice?”

“Save time by putting toothpaste in your food, use bottle caps as orange holders, get a toilet seat and use it to put your plate on when you eat! And, don’t try to fight with Izzy unless whatever you're fighting about really matters, because she is a stubborn woman and you’ll be tired by the end of the argument, and probably have lost.”

“Uh-”

“The bit about your mom sounds accurate, but she’s nice and might listen?” Logan sighs, shaking his head.

“How do you use a toilet seat- never mind I don’t want to know.”

Lucy comes back, setting Remus’ abomination of a milk shake down.

Remus thanks her, turning his head to look at Roman.

“God, you really got your mama’s pretty, you know that? I mean, you look like me some, but god.”

“I- You thought mama was pretty?” Roman blinks, “I’d always thought you were gay, they always said-”

“Kid, I’m gay, not blind.” Remus chuckles, “But yeah, your mom’s pretty kid.”

“Yeah,” Roman sighs, she is.”

“You’re about to wake up because of an alarm you set because you, my friend, have an early shift today. I’m proud of you kid, you’re doing good. I’ll talk to you again, later. Okay?”

“Dad?” Roman blinks, “Are you really here?”

“I’m dead, but yeah, I’m here.”

“Thanks dad.”

“I love you kid,” Remus sighs, “Good luck on your test tomorrow!”

Roman blinks startled but fades from the dream, leaving just Logan.

Logan looks at Remus and snorts darkly, “This isn't at all awkward, you know, my boyfriend’s dead dad in Lucy’s diner. Not to mention that you’re Virgil’s best friend.”

“Yeah, probably word that I’m your uncle and your boyfriend’s dad,” Remus snorts, “But I like weird.”

“Uh, uncle?!”

“Yeah, you’re basically Virgil’s kid, meaning that since I’m basically his brother, that I’m basically your uncle!” Remus cackles, “I thought you were the smart one!”

“It depends on the kind of intelligence,” Logan sighs, “I’ll admit I lack some of the more, say, social knowledge. But, I have dad and Roman at least.”

“Yeah, well, you're a good kid to Logan.”

“Thanks.”

“Be good to my baby Logan,” Remus says darkly, “Be good to my baby or I’ll figure out how to ruin your entire life.”

Logan looks up to Remus, “If I were to be bad to Roman, I’d have ruined my life myself. Because, he is my everything, as stupid and sappy as that sounds.”

Remus nods, “Good. You’ll make it through you know you two will make it out together.”

“Good.” Logan hums, tilting his head, “You're an asshole though. You really hurt a lot of the people we both care for.”

“Ballsy,” Remus smirks, “Calling the dead father of your boyfriend that. I knew I liked you!”

“Very few people seem to,” Logan shrugs, “But the whole dying and destroying Ms. Prince and Virgil and leaving Roman to be in the dark is really my only complaint against you.”

“Y’know, I did regret not being able to be there for them, but Roman especially. He’s my baby Logan, I know you don’t have kids, but, there’s just something about them.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Yeah, well, I should go.”

“Probably so. And Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“If you really can talk to people through dreams, don’t leave Roman alone, he’d like you to talk to him. And, maybe talk to Virgil and Ms.Prince some too.”

“Of course. Later dork. Dork means- You’re gone.”

Remus shakes his head as the dream dissolves around him, a bitter laugh leaving him.

Remus made sure to speak to his loved ones every so often, the first time he visited Isidora after Logan had told him too it had been ten years and she had cried a little when she woke up.

Virgil had insulted Remus the whole dream that Remus had visited the emo music loving man.

Remus watches Virgil and Patton’s wedding, glad to watch the entire thing and see his best friend happy. Remus notices that Roman is the best man for Virgil, but only because Logan was Patton’s best man. The younger couple gave a nice speech that called attention to the fact that this wedding has been a long time in the works.

Virgil and Patton’s first dance is sweet and too sappy for Remus’ taste but okay.

Remus nearly screams when Roman and Logan get engaged, because, like the dorks they are, they propose at the same time.

Logan and Roman got reneged on their fifth anniversary, in the gazebo, under the stars. Remus had proposed first, because this was his plan. But Roman pulled out his own ring and asked Logan.

Because the two are entirely too cute.

Remus gloated to them next time he spoke to them both, he called it after all.

Roman and Logan’s wedding is a year and a half later, over the summer between their junior and senior years in college.

It’s a bigger affair than Virgil and Patton’s had been, but not the largest wedding.

The whole town came, along with Logan’s grandparents, and a few friends from the boys’ own colleges.

Roman and Logan had stared at each other sappily the whole vow giving, making stupid cow eyes.

But, Remus creamed the loudest cheer out of anyone at that wedding when the two kissed and sealed the deal. He caught Isidora and Virgil looking around, then sharing a glance and a bitter laugh, a mutter of Remus’ name.

Roman and Logan’s first dance, per Roman’s selection, was a stupidly sappy song, for a pair of stupidly sappy new husbands. Husbands, God, Roman was married now. To his highschool sweetheart no less, his small town highschool sweetheart.

Remus would say something arguably rude about the whole sappy ordeal, if it wasn’t Roman’s wedding.

A few years down the line, after Logan and Roman graduate, they buy a house in Sideshire, adopting a kid. And oh, Remus has a grandchild now.

Virgil and Patton went to family dinners on Fridays with Emilie and Richard Sanders, Logan and Roman going as well. And somehow, Remus is glad that his saps have each other.

As much as Remus misses his friends and his family, as much as he wishes he could be there for them in the flesh, he’s proud of them no matter what. Even if they are stupidly sappy.

But, Remus looks forward to reuniting with Isidora and Virgil, and officially meeting the rest. One day, but hopefully, not soon.

#WYLIWF verse #logince #moxiety #platonic lamp #Sympathetic! Remus #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #sanders sides #Ghost! Remus Sanders

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thetwoinone-blog · 6 years ago

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"Your point?"

Bruce x Trans!MaleReader

Authors Note: As requested by @gamma-heart , As a transman myself, it was amazing to work on this! -Zarie

Word Count: 1,372

Warnings: None, it's fluff.

"Way to go big guy." You smiled approaching Hulk, giving his arm a friendly tap with your knuckles. The battle had ended and the rest of the team was picking themselves up.

"Hulk strongest Avenger!" Hulk playfully patted your back, a grin on his face. Still the force was enough to knock your breath out.

"Hey, I'm fragile remember?" You laughed a little, trying to catch your breath. "You certainly did a number on them."

"Hulk smash!" Hulk shouted proudly.

"Hulk did smash." Tony's voice came over the coms. "But we can't exactly fit him in our ride back."

"No! No Banner!" Hulk crossed his arms.

"He isn't that bad..." You stood on your tiptoes, doing your best to rub his shoulder comfortingly.

"But Hulk may not come back!!"

"That isn't true. Even Banner knows we need you to save the world." You gave him a soft smile. "So don't worry, you'll be back in no time."

Hulk gave you a look of minor defeat but nodded.

Hulk had never wanted to give Banner the body back. It was understandable after all the things Banner did to get rid of him.

However, since you joined the Avengers things became a little different. Tony often joked you were their counselor or "The Hulk Whisperer" because of how you always seemed to know what to say to the green giant.

Still, even though you could usually get Hulk to agree to change under the promise he wouldn't be gone forever, the transformation back was never pretty.

"Hey relax...It's gonna be alright..." You whispered softly, carefully wrapping your arms around him to keep him up right.

Bruce's hands instinctively gripped your arms to steady himself as he reappeared. The green quickly ebbed away from his skin. His breathing was still rapid.

"Shh shh...It's ok. Bruce it's ok I'm here." You continued to whisper as you gently rubbed his back. His grip loosened as he breathing returned to normal.

"(y/n)..." Bruce smiled a little, shaking his head."I will never understand how you do that...Wait...When did get here? Are you alright?!" His eyes filled with concern.

"Whoa whoa, hey...I'm fine relax..."You whispered softly. "The fights over. I'm ok." You felt his muscles relax under your fingertips.

"Right..." Bruce finally pulled away, letting out a deep breath.

"Let's get you home ok?" You removed your jacket, wrapping it gently around his shoulders.

Bruce could only smile as he followed you back to the helicarrier making sure to keep the jacket wrapped tightly around him.

Back at the tower, you slipped off to head to your room. After missions of that magnitude, nothing felt better than clean clothes and a nice shower. Afterwords you'd normally join Bruce and help him with whatever he was working on in the lab. Sadly today, you weren't sure if you were gonna make it. The mission took its toll on you, and all you wanted was to lay down.

Bruce had a different idea on how to spend the evening when he walked into the kitchen to boil some water for his tea.

"So, Banner." Tony had strolled up beside him. "You and (y/n) are getting pretty close huh?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about that Tony..."Bruce poured the water into his mug, before placing his favorite tea inside.

"Why? He not your type?" Tony leaned back against the counter. "Cuz he digs you."

"No, no he is it's just..." Bruce looked up. "He does?"

"You didn't know?" Tony raised an eyebrow. "Banner, even Cap noticed."

"Look I haven't dated anyone since...the incident." Bruce took a sip of his tea. "I'm not even sure if it's a good idea...or if I even know how."

"Well first off, the other guy digs (y/n) as much as you do."

"He does?"

"How do you think he can always get you back?" Tony smiled wrapping his arm around his friends shoulders. "So what's the plan?"

"The plan?" Bruce took another sip. "What plan?"

"To win him over? Weren't you listening? He likes you Banner." Tony shook his head. "Listen, just go up to his room and tell him you feel the same."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll do it." Tony winked. "Tomorrow morning over breakfast with everyone." He pulled away and headed out of the kitchen. "Your choice!"

Bruce stared into his tea mug nervously. Next thing he knew he was in front of your door.

You had just stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around you when you heard the soft knock on the door. You cursed softly. Not now.

"Just a minute!" You called out. Quickly you dropped the towel and changed into your pajamas. Careful to keep one arm over your chest you opened the door. "Bruce?"

"Hey (y/n)? Can I come in?" Bruce was clutching his mug tightly to hide how nervous he was.

"Yeah of course!" You pulled the door open before your second arm joined the other over your chest. "What's up?"

"Oh um...I just wanted to talk about...if you would..." Bruce's eyes darted around the room as he looked for the words he wanted. They ended up settling on the towel. He froze seeing the red stain and immediately set down his mug. "(y/n) I thought you said you weren't hurt, we have to get you patched up."

"I'm not hurt!"

"Your pale and obviously in pain, and I know blood when I see it. Come on..." Bruce gently grabbed your wrist and froze when he felt it.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."You pulled back, arms crossing tighter over your chest. "I didn't tell anyone...except the doctors here... I just couldn't deal with Tony's jokes or Steve's questions..."

"You shouldn't be up right now (y/n)." Bruce's eyes never left yours. The worry never left them. "I'll be right back, you just lay down ok?"

You nodded, slowly taking a seat on the edge of your bed and laying back. Bruce nodded and quickly left.

Before you could even guess what he was up too, he was back with a bag in one hand, and a second mug in the other.

"Here...I brought a heating pad, and some pain killers. " Bruce sat on the edge of your bed, beside your body. He removed a soft heated pad from the bag, gently placing it over your waist before holding the mug out to you. "The tea is my special blend...it's suppose to promote relaxation."

"Bruce..." You stared into the steaming mug unable to think of the right words. "Thank you..."

"Are you comfortable?" Bruce gently placed the painkillers in your free hand and watched as you took then. "Those should help with the pain." He smiled before he got up, carefully placing the discarded towel and clothes into the hamper.

"You...didn't have to go to all this trouble Bruce..."

"It wasn't trouble. I said I wanted to talk to you..." He took his seat on the edge of the bed again, careful not to jostle you.

"Oh that's right. You were asking if I would?..."

"If you would...be my boyfriend..." Bruce blushed, letting out a defeated sigh. "That wasn't the way I wanted to ask but Tony threatened to take it into his own hands and I didn't think you would want him sticking his nose into your business..."

"Did...you say boyfriend?"

"Well of course. What else would I have said?" Bruce snapped out of it and looked at you, brows furrowed in mild confusion.

"Well it's just...I'm...you know..." You looked back down into the tea. "Trans..."

"And I turn into a giant green rage monster as Stark put it." Bruce took a sip of his own tea. "Your point?"

"Well it's just...I mean..." You shook your head, laughing softly. "I guess I don't have one."

"Then, (y/n)," Bruce took your free hand in his. "Would you like to...?"

"I'd love too."

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aliteraryprincess · 6 years ago

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Blanca & Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore

Warning: Contains spoilers

Welcome back to Fairy Tale Friday! This has been in the works since late January, and now it’s finally getting posted. Yay! Today we’re looking at the first “Snow White and Rose Red” retelling of this feature. It’s also the first retelling of this tale that I’ve ever read. Blanca & Roja has elements of Swan Lake as well. I’ll talk about this a little, but I’m not going to focus on it too much since it isn’t technically a fairy tale (it is my favorite ballet though).

As a Retelling:

“Snow White and Rose Red” is different from other tales I’ve discussed in this feature because it doesn’t have basis in any oral folklore. The original story, called “The Ungrateful Dwarf,” was written Caroline Stahl, and the Grimms later adapted it. They added elements such as the bear prince and the marriages at the end, and this became the best-known version of the tale. This is the version McLemore draws off the most, but one thing she uses from Stahl’s is the family set up. In the Grimms’ version, Snow White and Rose Red live only with their widowed mother. In Stahl’s story, the girls are part of a large family. McLemore takes this approach; though Blanca and Roja are the only two children in their immediate branch of the del Cisne family, both of their parents are alive and they have many aunts, uncles, and cousins.

McLemore’s sisters are set up much in the same way the Grimms’ are. Blanca--Snow White--is the softer of the two, helping her mother around the house and doing everything possible to protect her younger sister. Roja--Rose Red--is fierce and has a temper; instead of learning domestic tasks, her father teaches her to use her anger, fight, and ask questions. Their differences are highlighted in their appearances; Blanca has golden hair and light skin while Roja has deep red hair and dark skin. However, despite being so different, they are extremely close. There is a curse on the women in the del Cisne family: there will always be two daughters, but one will always turn into a swan. Blanca and Roja are determined to avoid this curse and both remain human. In the Grimm tale, Snow White and Rose Red make a promise to never desert each other, and their mother comments, “Whatever one gets she shall share with the other.” We see a version of this in the way Blanca and Roja try to put off the curse. They try to make themselves so similar that los cisnes--the swans--won’t be able to tell them apart. Blanca eats red rose petals and prickly leaves while Roja eats white petals and rounded leaves. Blanca wears a red ribbon in her hair and Roja wears a white one. The idea is that the things associated with the opposite sister will balance out their personalities, making Roja softer and Blanca sharper.

The bear prince of this book is Barclay Holt, a boy from a wealthy family. After fighting with his cousin, Barclay goes into the woods near the girls’ house and transforms into a bear. In the Grimm version of the fairy tale, the bear comes to the cottage door one winter night wanting to warm himself. He befriends both girls and their mother and continues to come each evening of the winter. In the novel, Roja finds Barclay in bear form rooting around for food near the house. She feeds him and the two form an instant connection. Unlike in the fairy tale, Blanca has very little to do with Barclay while he is a bear. She has her own animal companion, a cygnet who turns out to be Barclay’s best friend, Page. Another major difference is the timing of him turning back into a human. In the fairy tale, this does not happen until the end of the story when the bear prince kills the dwarf who transformed him and stole his treasure. Barclay becomes a human again very early on and doesn’t live with the girls until after this transformation occurs.

As a child, I always found the marriages at the end of this fairy tale a bit disappointing for two reasons. First, there are two sisters but only one bear prince. They obviously can’t both marry him, despite him saying at one point, “Snow White and Rose Red, don’t beat your lover dead.” So Snow White marries the bear prince, who they have both become close with over the winter, and Rose Red marries his brother who she has never met. And even though it’s really common for fairy tale heroines to marry men they don’t know at all, it bothered me here because one of them does marry a man she has a strong relationship with. My second issue was that it’s Snow White who marries the bear prince. I always felt that it should be Rose Red because she is the more adventurous and wild of the two. McLemore fixes both of these issues. Though Blanca does pursue Barclay for her own reasons (more on that later), he is clearly Roja’s love interest. The prince’s brother of the fairy tale is changed to his best friend, Page, and McLemore develops her character and her relationship with Blanca beautifully. Page is transgender and non-binary and alternates between between he/him and she/her pronouns throughout the book. I’ll be using she/her since that’s what Blanca uses for her most of the time. Page actually has her own subplot based on a completely different fairy tale: “The Ugly Duckling.”

The sisters of the fairy tale have an ideal relationship with no conflict between them. Blanca and Roja, though they are close, do have the conflict of the curse. Most in the family think Roja will be the one to turn into a swan, and both girls are very aware of this. When los cisnes finally arrive, Blanca is told that she can save herself by getting a blue-eyed boy to fall in love with her. When Barclay transforms back into a human, she sees he has blue eyes. Instead of trying to win him to save herself, Blanca makes a deal with los cisnes: if she gets Barclay to fall in love with her, Roja will remain human and Blanca will turn into a swan. However, she doesn’t tell Roja about this. When Roja finds out about what Blanca was told and sees what’s happening, she believes Blanca has abandoned her and is trying to save herself. As a result, she tries to make herself more like Blanca in an effort to get Barclay to fall in love with her instead. This is where the Swan Lake aspect of the novel comes in. In the ballet, Odette--the Swan Queen--has been transformed into a swan and the only way to break the curse is for someone to swear to love her forever. She and Prince Siegfried fall in love, but the evil sorcerer Rothbart uses magic to make his daughter Odile--the Black Swan--appear like Odette. At a ball, Siegfried declares his love for Odile believing she is Odette, thus dooming the real Odette to remain a swan forever. So both girls are trying to get a declaration of love out of Siegfried, just as Blanca and Roja are both trying to get Barclay to fall in love with them. The parallels between Odette and Odile are further drawn in the climax of the novel when both sisters transform into swans; Blanca becomes a white swan and Roja becomes a black one.

Another major difference between “Snow White and Rose Red” and Blanca & Roja is the antagonists. The antagonist of the fairy tale is the dwarf who the girls try to help in the second half of the tale, though he doesn’t actually do much in the story. They continually find him trapped and free him twice by cutting his beard and once by pulling him away from from an eagle, ripping his coat in the process. Instead of being grateful, he is angry and berates them. The final time they meet him, the bear prince appears and attacks him. The dwarf tries to convince him to eat the girls, but this does not work. It is then revealed that the dwarf is the one who turned the prince into a bear and stole his treasure. The main antagonists in the novel are los cisnes, which are a complete creation of McLemore’s. The driving force behind everything that happens is Blanca and Roja trying to avoid their family’s curse. However, I think there is a subtle equivalent of the dwarf in the form of Barclay’s cousin Liam, who acts as a secondary antagonist. Barclay discovers some illegal things his family has done and has proof. Liam wants to make sure this proof never gets out. He seriously injures Barclay when they fight about it, and this leads Barclay to go to the woods and transform into a bear. As I said, it’s very subtle and maybe not an absolutely direct comparison, but in a way Liam causes the transformation just as the dwarf causes the bear prince’s. Barclay’s proof of his family’s activities can be viewed as the treasure the dwarf steals from the bear prince.

My Thoughts:

Everything about this book is gorgeous, including the writing and the cover, but my favorite part is the relationships. And not just the romantic ones, but also the family relationships and the friendships. McLemore does a beautiful job developing them and making them deep. The major crux of the story is obviously the relationship between the sisters, and I think she does a great job portraying how siblings can be close and love each other but also feel jealous and resentful. I also thought the friendship between Barclay and Page was wonderful. McLemore gives it the same importance as the romantic relationships, which I really appreciate. I think that all too often fiction portrays romantic relationships as better and of more value than friendships, and that simply isn’t true.

As I’ve said in other posts, I’m always happy to find LGBT+ fairy tale retellings. This is actually the first book I’ve read with a major non-binary character. I’m obviously not able to judge how accurate the representation is since I’m not trans or non-binary. However, in her author’s note, McLemore does mention that her husband identifies as transgender and non-binary and taught her about the complexities of gender identity. We see Page struggle with other people’s reactions to her identity and yearn for acceptance, especially from her family. We also see how important it is to respect a person’s pronouns and to just ask when in doubt. This is what Blanca does, and it means so much to Page. There is also major Latinx representation, and it is own voices as McLemore is Latina. Again, her author’s note has some interesting insights into this aspect of the novel; she discusses the way Latina women are pitted against each other and the implications of the idea of “getting a blue-eyed boy,” which was actually said to her when she was young. It’s great to see racial diversity in fairy tale retellings since it’s a genre typically based on European tales featuring white characters. I really hope McLemore will write more retellings!

My only problem with the book is that I found it confusing at times. This was really more of an issue toward the beginning of the book. It features four first-person narrators, and I did sometimes have trouble keeping track of which POV I was on. There are also some confusing jumps in time. Something would be happening in the present, then the narrative would move on to something that occurred in the past. Ultimately, I figured it out and it didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the book. But I thought it would be worth mentioning since there were several occasions when I said, “Wait, what?” and had to reread.

My Rating: 4 stars

Other Reading Recommendations:

The starred titles are ones I have read myself. The others are ones I want to read and may end up being future Fairy Tale Friday books. Since this is the first retelling I’ve read of this tale and the first book I’ve read by McLemore, there aren’t many starred titles.

Other Retellings of “Snow White and Rose Red”:

Snow White and Rose Red by Patricia C. Wrede

The Shadow of the Bear by Regina Doman

Tender Morsels by Margo Lanagan

Twin Roses by Sarah Cross

Snow & Rose by Emily Winfield Martin

Other Books by Anna-Marie McLemore:

Wild Beauty

The Weight of Feathers

When the Moon was Ours

About the Fairy Tale:

“History of ‘Snow White and Rose Red’” by Sarah Viehmann*

Have a recommendation for me to read or a suggestion to make Fairy Tale Friday better? Feel free to send me an ask!

#booklr #book photography #blanca & roja #anna-marie mclemore #aliteraryprincess fairy tale friday #snow white and rose red #fairy tale retellings #books

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thegardenandthegrave · 4 years ago

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Gin I always adore your additions!

While I was reading, a thought came to me. Readers say they want diversity and own voices in the stories they read, but they also return to reading books published by the traditional publishers 9 times out of 10. And 9 times out of 10 those companies are pushing out books that have been edited just like you described.

It's not an issue of accessibility considering how far indie publishing has come. It's a matter of marketing, of connecting the dots in people's minds that indie published books = higher chances of diversity and representation.

Not to be mistaken, as the indie world is a wild west of published works and there certainly is plenty of straight white protagonist syndrome going on. (Not to mention the other weird things that you might come across, but that's a conversation about the readers responsibility to choose their stories critically for another time) But the cool thing about indie publishing is that this town IS big enough for the both of us and for every other own voices author and every author who wants to include rep in their works.

The only ones policing this form of publishing are the readers themselves. The trick is to convince readers to transition to a type of media where they have more control, where their purchases and their reviews dictate the market at a greater rate than trad pub would ever allow, and if we're all lucky and persistent and taking our money out of the hands of trad pub they may even be forced to pivot their production and their publishing models at a quicker rate than they currently are.

And I think there's this idea readers have that indie publishing is all about passion projects like the ones you see on here that have their intro posts and comic sans power points and such. That these stories are good, or could be good, but that they take forever to produce. And considering how the big 5 have set a standard of maybe one new book per author per year I can see why readers and authors are falling into a belief trap that it's supposed to take forever to get a quality written book.

However! Passion projects only account for a small portion of the indie publishing industry. The majority is actually made up of authors who are producing at high volumes under 2-3 pen names, and each series they write is "written to market". What this means is that these authors are writing whatever is bringing in the cash. Most of the time that's romance, but military scifi was a huge hit the past few years, and I can't even tell you how much of that has diversity and rep!

(Check out M.D. Cooper, an openly trans author who writes LGBT military scifi with bad ass female leads. She's an amazing author and a wonderful person as well.)

These shorter, quicker written works tend to be the length of The Great Gatsby to the first Harry Potter book (50k-75k), so still decent sized stories, and indie authors are very attuned to the market and where readers are buying. When attention shifts, so do these authors. This is great for romance readers who tend to pick a trope (billionaire, bully, soul mate, and second chance were all ones I saw gain traction last year) and go with it over and over until they've exhausted their options.

So when I say that you're going to find good rep and diversity from indie authors, it's a self fulfilling prophecy. These authors are fast, good at what they do, and want to please their audiences. They work hard at that. It's the job and puts bread and butter on their table and lets them work on their passion projects on the side. The trick is convincing readers to focus on buying indie books that have representation, and the indie market will turn on a dime to start fulfilling that need.

What I can tell you as a transgender woman is that occasionally I will read trans woman characters written by cisgender authors. And I can pretty much always tell when the author is cis, even if the character is portrayed respectfully, because they get some details wrong or something. But I certainly don’t think that they shouldn’t be allowed to take a stab at it, and I actually appreciate any representation that isn’t egregiously harmful. And I certainly don’t think that only transgender women should be allowed to write transgender women because then it falls on me, and that’s rather tokenizing, isn’t it?

#writing tumblr #diversity #representation #own voices #writeblr #can you tell by our multi-paragraph additions that we are authors?

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polygrumpssecretsanta · 7 years ago

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Secrets Kept and Secrets Told

Author: @elisisland Recipient: bodacious-energizedprotodermis Pairing: Dan/Arin Warnings: Trans Characters, Coming out Title: Secrets Kept and Secrets Told Summary: Dan has a secret he can't let Arin know just yet. Word Count: 1142

“No sexual stuff for awhile, okay?”

Arin sat at his desk, staring at his monitors, replaying the words Dan said to him over four months ago. He knew better than to push Dan into something he wasn’t ready for, but when Dan was starting to give Arin sexual favors, but refusing to accept any, Arin was just a bit curious. Slowly, carefully, Arin derived a plan.

Dan patiently waited for his boyfriend, so they could finally start the day’s session and he could get back to the writing session he had started with Brian. Hearing the door open, he looked over the back of the couch and smiled at Arin. Something in his stomach told him to leave, that the grin Arin had was devious. But still he remained. “Hey, Arin. What's up?”

Arin sauntered over, swing his hips. “Not much, Dan. What’s up with you?”

Opening his mouth to answer, Dan stuttered out, “N-n-nothing. What,” he laughed as Arin placed his hands on Dan’s shoulders, “are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Arin pouted, pressing one knee into Dan’s hip. “I,” he began slowly and straddled Dan, “just wanna make out with you.”

The pit got bigger, deeper, worse. Dan raised a brow, “Is that all?”

“Well,” Arin sat down on Dan’s thighs. “Maybe we could do some other things.”

Laughing, Dan pressed a kiss to Arin’s lips. “You can just say you want a blowie. You don’t have to be all cryptic and sexy.”

“I wanna blow you.”

There it was. Fuck. It wasn’t that Dan didn’t appreciate every offer from Arin, he did. He wanted to accept every offer of a blowjob or handjob or straight up fucking, but he couldn’t let Arin know. Not yet. So Dan shook his head, “No thanks. But I’ll blow you.”

“Why not?”

Dan blinked, forcing the uneasiness down. “Why not what?”

“Why can’t I blow you? Is it ‘cause I have a beard? Is it ‘cause I’m a guy? What is it?” Arin wiped at his face. He didn’t want to cry over this. He didn’t, but it just felt like Dan was hiding something. Like he didn’t actually like Arin.

“No, Arin. Babe,” Dan pressed a kiss to Arin’s forehead. “It’s not you. I swear. It’s me. I got something to work out. But,” Dan gave another kiss, “I will tell you when things are good on my end.” Pulling Arin into a hug, he whispered, “I promise.”

“You promise that when things are good, I can give you a beej?”

Dan laughed, ignoring the twist in his stomach. “You can give me 10 beejs, if you want.”

Arin held him tight, tight enough that Dan would know Arin would wait forever. When they parted, Arin could have sworn he saw something flash across his face, something like fear. But he was not going to press anymore, terrified that Dan would recede into himself. So Arin cracked a joke, “So about that blowjob.”

Dan laughed, bumping his head against Arin’s chest. “If you really want,” Dan said, snaking his hand around to Arin’s chest, “I think,” and down his stomach, pausing at the waistband of his pants, “we have enough time.”

Three weeks. Three weeks since Dan made that promise with Arin. Three weeks since he started evaluating everything about himself and Arin and their relationship. Three weeks since he was given a choice, come out or end the best relationship he’s had in a long time. And only today had he finally figured out what he was going to do.

Dan waited until he had a clearing and knew that Arin was going to be in his office. Steeling himself, Dan gave a quiet knock on the door, more to inform Arin of his presence rather than to ask for permission. Arin jumped, but composed himself at Dan’s soft face. “Hey, Arin. Can, can we talk?”

Pushing his chair out to face the space, Arin gestured to close the door. “Is everything okay? Do you need time off or something?”

Dan ran a hand through his hair, not minding the knots his fingers get caught on. “I think everything is okay. Well,” Dan took a deep breath, “okay. I need to tell you something and I really hope it doesn’t change us.”

Something crawled around in Arin’s stomach. Ignoring it, Arin smiled. “I’m sure we’ll be fine. What did you wanna tell me?”

“You promise not to judge me?”

Arin stood, wrapping his hand around Dan’s biceps. “I would never judge you. Just know, you don’t have to tell me, if you’re not comfortable with it.”

Dan sighed, sagging against Arin. “I am comfortable with it, though. It’s who I am. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Burying his face in Arin’s neck, breathing in Arin, remembering him as if this was the last time he could hold him close, Dan hugged Arin. “Promise me things won’t change too much. I can’t lose you.”

Arin hugged Dan, hugged him with all his might. “You won’t lose me.”

“I’ve lost too many people before because of it.”

Arin pulled away, just enough to press a bruising kiss on Dan’s lips. They parted and Arin wiped a stray tear from Dan’s face. “I promise you won’t lose me.”

Dan gave one last squeeze before taking a step back. Sniffling, he took a shaky breath. He could do it. Brian hadn’t left. Why would Arin? “Okay. So you know people who, um, fuck.” Dan wiped his face. “You know those people that don’t, um, they, shit.”

Arin swore if he softened anymore he would actually melt. “It’s okay. Take your time and remember, you don’t have to tell me.”

“But I need to. I just,” Dan ran a hand through his hair, bunching it at the top of his head. “I’m just gonna say it and you can react however you like, okay?” Arin gave a slow nod, clearly hesitant. “I’m trans.” Dan broke into a grin. “I’m trans. I’m trans.” He started laughing, “I’m trans.”

“Danny?”

“I’m trans.” Dan said a final time, swaying on his feet. “This is crazy. You’re acting like it’s not a big deal.”

Arin blinked. “Being trans or not, it’s not a big deal one way or the other.”

Dan sat down on the couch and Arin took the other half. “How… how are you so chill about this?”

Arin shrugged, “It’s just a part of you. Just like I’m bi or whatever. It’s nothing that can change.”

Dan leaned forward, his forehead pressing against Arin’s. “Are we okay?”

Closing the space, Arin smiled, “We’re good. Wait.” Arin sat back. “Do I need to call you something else?”

“I’m still a guy. I’m still Dan. I’m still your boyfriend.”

Arin broke into a grin, “Well, good. Now I believe I was promised I could blow you 10 times.”

#egobang #shipgrumps #polygrumps #elisisland #bodacious-energizedprotodermis #pgss gift 2017 #Hopefully the warnings work for blacklisting but let me know if it should be tagged with anything

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transgenderlies · 7 years ago

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Countering transgender lies about Stonewall

Transgenders consistently lie about what happened at the Stonewall Inn in 1969. Their lie holds that the Stonewall riot was variously spurred by or chiefly carried out by transgenders, specifically “transwomen of colour” and even more specifically an “instigator” named Ray “Sylvia” Rivera. If you’d like all Stonewall-related transgender lies collected in one place, I would refer you to the so-called Transadvocate.

Of course this isn’t what happened. It was illegal to appear in public in the attire of the opposite sex in New York in 1969. You couldn’t just sashay down to the Stonewall of a Friday night for a watered-down drink served in a dirty glass, at least not without expecting hassles from cops. The Stonewall Inn was not an early Woody’s with weekly drag shows. The primary clientele was gay males, with some lesbians, and they were dressed like men and women, respectively, in most cases. Whatever “transgenders” frequented the Stonewall were actually drag queens, though that is a distinction without a difference here.

The facts are well established, except to lying transgenders. We have not merely the eyewitness accounts of gay men who were at the Stonewall that night (or the next two nights, or some combination), as in PBS’s Stonewall Uprising. We further have the direct statements from Sylvia Rivera herself, as recorded by recognized historians.

Eric Marcus, Making Gay History

Actually, it was the first time I had been to the friggin’ Stonewall. The Stonewall wasn’t a bar for drag queens. Everybody keeps saying it was. The drag queen spot was the Washington Square Bar, at Third St. and Broadway. This is where I get into arguments with people. They say, “Oh, no, it was a drag-queen bar, it was a black bar.” No. Washington Square Bar was the drag-queen bar.

If you were a drag queen, you could get into the Stonewall if they knew you. And only a certain number of drag queens were allowed into the Stonewall at that time. [...]

That first year after Stonewall, we were petitioning for a gay-rights bill for New York City, and I got arrested for petitioning on 42nd St. I was asking people to sign the petition.

I was dressed casually that day – makeup, hair, and whatnot. The cops came up to me and said, “You can’t do this.” I said, “My Constitution says that I can do anything that I want.” “No, you can’t do this. Either you leave or we’re going to arrest you.” I said, “Fine, arrest me.” They very nicely picked me up and threw me in a police car and took me to jail.

Martin Duberman, Stonewall

Washington Square was Sylvia’s special favo[u]rite. It opened at three in the morning and catered primarily (rather than incidentally as was the case with Stonewall) to transvestites[.] [...]

If she was going out at all... she would go to Washington Square. She had never been crazy about Stonewall, she reminded Tammy: Men in makeup were tolerated there, but not exactly cherished. [...]

If the raid went according to the usual pattern, the only people who would be arrested would be those without IDs, those dressed in the clothes of the opposite gender, and some or all of the employees. Everyone else would be let go with a few shoves and a few contemptuous words. The bar would soon reopen and they would all be back dancing. It was annoying to have one’s Friday night screwed up, but hardly unprecedented.

Note 39:

Section 887(7) of the New York State Criminal Code was the one traditionally invoked by the police against transvestites. The law was supposedly ignored on Halloween, though the police-department handbook specified that even then, someone dressed in costume had to be wearing a certain number of garments “appropriate” to their sex.

Note 40:

The eyewitness accounts in RAT (July 1969) specifically credits “one guy” (not a lesbian or a queen) for precipitating a scuffle by refusing to be put into the paddy wagon.... At least two people credit Sylvia herself with provoking the riot.... But I’ve found no corroboration for either account[,] and Sylvia herself, with a keener regard for the historical record, denies the accuracy of both versions. She does remember “throwing bricks and rocks and things” after the mêlée began, but takes no credit for initiating the confrontation.

David Carter, Stonewall: The Riots That Sparked the Gay Revolution

pp. 261–2:

The question of who gets credit for starting the riots is one that deserves consideration. The question, however, contains a premise: that an individual or group of individuals can be singled out as the prime mover in a complex process that many person s collectively created. This is important for two reasons. First, as John O’Brien pointed out, there was a continuum of resistance ranging from silent persons who ignored the police orders to move to those who threw objects at the police. O’Brien maintains that it was because of those person standing around and blocking the streets and sidewalks and keeping the police from being able to operate efficiently that he and others were able to engage in their tactics as effectively as they did: if there had been only about fifteen youths lobbing objects at the police the young men would have been quickly caught or chased away.

Second, I wrote the account of the first night to reflect my understanding of what happened, namely, that until the definitive outbreak of rioting when the police retreated inside the Stonewall Inn, there was throughout the evening both a gradual buildup of anger and, correspondingly, a gradual escalation in the release of that anger. In the course of that buildup there were numerous turning points, some more critical than others. With these qualifications noted, I think it is clear that special credit must be given to gay homeless youths, to transgendered men, and to the lesbian who fought the police.¹⁰

Footnote 10 from above:

Charles Kaiser suggested to the author that Stormé DeLarverie (see The Gay Metropolis: 1940–1996 [Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1997], p. 198) was this woman, but she could not have been. To cite only a few of the problems with this thesis, DeLarverie’s story is one of escaping the police, not of being taken into custody by them, and she has claimed that on that night she was outside the bar, “quiet, I didn’t say a word to anybody, I was just trying to see what was happening,” when a policeman, without provocation, hit her in the eye (“Stonewall 1969: A Symposium,” June 20, 1997, New York City). DeLarverie is also an African-American woman, and all the witnesses interviewed by the author describe the woman as Caucasian.

And here’s what The Gay Metropolis actually says:

Several spectators agreed that it was the action of a cross-dressing lesbian – possibly Stormé DeLarverie – which would change everyone’s attitude forever. DeLarverie denied that she was the catalyst, but her own recollection matched others’ descriptions of the defining moment. “The cop hit me and I hit him back,” DeLarverie explained [in Kaiser’s own interview with her on 1995.12.09].

Continuing:

Among these, we can name three individuals known to have been in the vanguard: Jackie Hormona, Marsha Johnson, and Zazu Nova.

A common theme links those who resisted first and fought the hardest, and that is gender transgression. While we do not know how the lesbian who fought the police saw herself, we do know that her clothing was masculine, in keeping with her general demeano[u]r. We know from Pine’s testimony that the first significant resistance that he encountered inside the bar came from transvestites, and Joel S. places them among the first outside the bar to resist. Marsha Johnson and Zazu Nova were both transvestites, and, as the reader has seen, the street youth were, generally speaking, effeminate men. All available evidence leads us to conclude that the Stonewall Riots were instigated and led by the most despised and marginal elements of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered community. My research for this history demonstrates that if we wish to name the group most responsible for the success of the riots, it is the young, homeless homosexuals, and, contrary to the usual characterizations of those on the rebellion’s front lines, most were Caucasian; few were Latino; almost none were transvestites or transsexuals; most were effeminate; and a fair number came from middle-class families.

Footnote 11 from that same chapter:

It is remarkable – and no doubt inevitable given human psychology – that in the popular imagination the number of transvestites at the riots is always exaggerated. Readers will note that in the [Fred] McDarrah photos of the riots there is one transgendered person[,] and none of the persons I interviewed, some of whom knew her, ever saw her actively involved in the riots. (Note that the McDarrah photographs, which do feature the street youths, were taken late on Saturday night during one of the lulls in rioting, when nothing in particular was happening....) The Ambrosini photo does not show a single transvestite. Craig Rodwell told researcher Michael Scherker that “one of the myths about Stonewall is it was all drag queens. I mean, drag queens are part of what went on. Certainly one of the most courageous, but there were maybe twelve drag queens. In thousands of people.”

Transgenders lie about Stonewall in part because they are fundamentally dishonest (about themselves and about human anatomy, to give two examples), but they do it here to establish primacy over the legitimately constituted lesbian and gay community. The way they tell it, we owe them because they bravely instigated the Stonewall Riots that led to actual gay and lesbian liberation. (Even that last part isn’t true just in the U.S. context, as veterans of the Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis will attest.) As far as they’re concerned, transgender is the supercategory and we gays and lesbians are mere variations of trans. And Stonewall proves it.

Well, all of that is untrue, honey, and nobody’s buying what you’re selling, literally or figuratively.

(Original post)

#Gay #Stonewall #TransgenderLies #Transgender #StonewallRebellion #StonewallUprising #Trans

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mermaidsirennikita · 7 years ago

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Valentine’s Day Reads

Happy Valentine’s Day! As I often gripe about badly done romance on this blog, I thought I’d list a few books that actually do it well. Some are classics; some are decidedly not. But I love the love stories in all of them. I tried to cover my bases, and while I won’t say that all of these are all-time favorites for me, they do stick out in my head for their romantic plotlines and the chemistry between the leads. Hopefully, something here will appeal to you.

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. Scarlett is a spoiled, vivacious southern belle on the eve of the Civil War. She wants Ashley, a gentleman whose romanticism and genteel nature embody the antebellum era they’ve grown up; he’s the one man she can’t have, engaged to his sweet, kindhearted cousin Melanie. As the war begins and becomes increasingly brutal, Scarlett must grow up and become a survivor, pining for Ashley while engaging in a game of wits and and emotion with Rhett, a man whose cynical and opportunist nature makes him a pariah in the south--but perhaps might also make him Scarlett’s true match. The love/hate narrative is really defined by GWTW, which is less a tragedy than it is a coming of age story. Scarlett and Rhett’s chemistry and rightness for each other is undeniable, but held back by the fact that she can’t recognize her own true feelings, committed to an idea rather than reality, and he is too protective of his own feelings to admit that he loves her. GWTW is one of the few “classics” out there that is truly and compulsively readable, and it suggests a lot of Deep Things while at the same time entertaining you with a frustrating, gorgeous romance.

Cinder by Marissa Meyer. Cinder is a cyborg, shunned by society and neglected by her stepmother and stepsister--despite her status as a gifted mechanic. When the stepsister she loves grows fatally ill, she catches the blame, putting her in a precarious position. At the same time, however, she finds herself as the mechanic of none other than Prince Kai, heir to the throne of the Eastern Commonwealth. As Cinder becomes more entwined in political intrigue through Kai, she must also fight her feelings for him, and her lack of self-worth. It’s hard to explain this series without spoiling a lot--and while The Lunar Chronicles is one of my favorites series, I’ll admit that Cinder--though the first book--isn’t my favorite (that honor goes to Scarlet, the second book in the series). But Cinder and Kai have a fantastic, sweet romance that of course draws from Cinderella, as every book in the series draws from a different fairy tale. Yes, there is a lot of sci-fi going on in The Lunar Chronicles, and various space politics, but ultimately, each novel is a love story, and the couples you meet in one book return in the next. (Except for Fairest, the excellent villain origin story prequel, which is an obsession story.) Highly recommend if you’re on the lookout for some fun, romantic YA with a sci-fi spin.

Beauty by Robin McKinley. The awkward Beauty doesn’t much feel like she deserves her nickname, especially when she pales in comparison to her gorgeous sisters. But when her father returns from the castle of a mysterious beats, she rises to the occasion, offering to be the beasts’s prisoner in his place--and determined that she can tame it. Obviously, this is a Beauty and the Beast retelling--but it’s a definitive one. This a slow-burn romance, and the book is as much about Beauty learning to love herself as the beast. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some excellent moments between the two of them. When you’re looking for something with a bit less heat and a bit more gentle romance, check this out.

When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore. Miel and Sam are childhood friends, having weathered prejudice--Miel is an immigrant, and Sam is a trans man--together, as well as the strange roses that grow out of Miel’s skin and the attention that attracts. But just after their relationship crosses a line--going from pining to physical--confusing the two of them, the Bonner sisters return to town. Rumored to be witches, they want Miel’s roses, and will do whatever it takes to get them. McLemore is really, really good at magical realism. And there’s a lot of that in this book. But the central story here is Miel and Sam’s relationship, their pasts, and how they’re struggling to come to terms with who they are. The story is both romantic and erotic, and perhaps part of why it feels so incredibly real is that parts of it reflect McLemore’s own life. Whether or not that’s true, however, is irrelevant--it’s impossible to not love her dreamy prose and the intensity of Miel and Sam’s feelings for each other.

Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones. Liesl is underappreciated and in many ways repressed, taking on a lot of responsibility at the family inn. Her sister Kathe is the beautiful one, and her brother Josef, a gifted musician, is the talented one--regardless of the fact that Liesl herself is a driven composer. Ever since they were children, the siblings have been preoccupied with the Goblin King, but though he inspires her music, Liesl has dismissed him as a childhood fancy. Until, that is, Kathe is taken by goblins--and the Goblin King needs a bride. To save her sister, Liesl takes her place as the Goblin Queen. While initially repulsed by the Underground, she becomes enthralled by her new husband’s world, and their shared passion for music. Wintersong is well-written and thoroughly addictive, laced with a kind of erotic intoxication. You fall for the Goblin King as Liesl does; you fall for his world as she does. It’s morally ambiguous and dark and strange, and quite perfect for those who never got over David Bowie in Labyrinth.

A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. Jilted by her self-obsessed boyfriend and left penniless, Dougless asks for a knight in shining armor and gets one--in the form of Nicholas, a medieval knight sent forward in time. Dougless is initially disbelieving, but as she and Nicholas learn about his real legacy--which falls short of what he expected--they gradually fall in love. However, their relationship is cut short by his sudden disappearance, sending Dougless back in time to find him. This is a classic 80s romance novel, and therefore I had to include it. It’s silly; it’s problematic; it has quite a few sex scenes, some of which may or may not involve ice cream. But there’s a kind of purity to its cheese and silliness that is lighthearted and unique to the era.

The Girl in 6E by A.R. Torre. Deanna Madden wants to kill people. So, she stays in her apartment all day, making a living as a cam girl. As a result, she has to have a lot of things delivered to her--prompting the interest of the delivery guy, who just wants to get to know this woman he’s never even seen. Too bad Deanna wants to murder him. Basically, this is an erotic novel; there are a lot a lot a lot of explicit sex scenes, and a few different men who may or may not have a romantic interest in Deanna beyond her body (and if the series continues beyond the three books it’s already had, I wouldn’t be shocked if the author expands upon that). But there’s something sweet about a guy and a girl who really don’t know each other being genuinely intrigued by one another--and the fact that the relationship’s main obstacle is Deanna’s own desire to kill makes it all the more interesting.

The Hating Game by Sally Thorn. Lucy and Josh are work rivals at their publishing company--though “rivals” may be putting it lightly. They loathe each other, regularly taunting one another throughout the day while competing. That competition gets ramped up a notch by a promised promotion that only one of them can get. But as they each struggle for the job, Lucy and Josh begin to realize that the tension between them may not just be professional. The Hating Game is a rom com, but like... a sexy one. There are plenty of UST-filled moments throughout the book. And the great thing is that Josh isn’t an asshole, like most men in these sorts of books are. He doesn’t want to ruin Lucy’s life; he actually seems into her, not into dominating her. If you want something light and lovely and hot, go for The Hating Game.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Heathcliff is an orphan, brought to Wuthering Heights by Mr. Earnshaw and raised as a “lesser than” sort of foster child alongside Earnshaw’s children, the abusive Hindley and spirited Cathy. Equally wild, Heathcliff and Cathy become childhood best friends, and their feelings gradually deepen into intense romantic love as they grow up. But Heathcliff is socially unsuitable for the upper-class Cathy, and when she agrees to marry her shy neighbor Linton--while vowing to love Heathcliff forever, out of his earshot--he runs away. When he returns, Heathcliff is wealthy and bent on revenge; but the feelings between himself and Cathy remain, leading two families and multiple generations into ruin. I feel like a lot of people are immediately put off by WH because it’s not told from Heathcliff and Cathy’s perspectives, exactly. In fact, the story is told long after their children have grown up, by Nelly, a housekeeper who observed much of the story’s events, to Lockwood, a visitor to Wuthering Heights. It’s also a really twisted love story--as much of a hate story as anything else. Heathcliff and Cathy resent and adore each other in equal measure. They thwart their own happiness over and over, and both are beasts to those that love them. But this novel is so significant precisely because it shows that two hideous people can love each other--and it conveys a haunting sort of passion that seems almost out of place in a novel of its time. The strain of morality running through Jane Eyre--tempering its subversive plot--isn’t present in Wuthering Heights. Even when the cycle of abuse that consumed Heathcliff and Cathy finally is broken, the people that do so are hardly angels. It’s a sad, angering, obsessive story. But at its core, this is a book about love--and the things both terrible and great that it drives people to.

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. As a little girl, Grace was attacked by wolves--and since then has been somewhat obsessed with the yellow-eyed wolf in the woods behind her house. Sam is a wolf in the winter and a boy in the summer, his transformation completely involuntary and based on the temperature. This time, when the weather warms, he finally meets Grace, and they begin a tentative relationship--but if Sam can’t figure out how to stop himself from changing, he runs the risk of becoming a wolf forever, and losing not just Grace but himself. Maggie Stiefvater has become increasingly famous for her Raven Boys series, and don’t get me wrong, I love that series. But I love The Wolves of Mercy Falls more, and not just because it was the first book of hers that I ever read. There’s a lovely approachable, understanding tone to Shiver--her writing is still beautiful and lyrical, but the simplicity of Grace and Sam’s love story set against the backdrop of a complicated, fraught situation is impossible to resist. As the series continues, another very good, contrasting romance is added in--but I can’t really get over how incredibly soft Sam and Grace are, and how much this series feels like young love to me.

#books #book recs

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pedroscurls · 8 years ago

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Title: Fatal Attraction (Part 11.)

Character(s): Ike Evans, Ben Diamond, and Diana (original female character) Summary: Ike offers a business proposition to Ben. Word Count: 1,447 Warning: None. Author’s Note: Enjoy! :-)

A couple of days passed since Ike’s run-in with Diana. Since then, he couldn’t get his mind off of her. He wondered if she was safe or if she was being hurt every minute of the day. It only eased his thoughts when he saw Ben walk to his cabana. If Ben was here at the Miramar Playa, it meant that Diana was safe. For the time being.

One afternoon, Ike was sitting on a barstool at the counter of the bar in Atlantis when Ben entered. He looked over his shoulder and noticed the smirk that usually lined the man’s face. Ike, however, forced a smile while his thoughts lingered. He wanted nothing more than to grab Ben by the face and slam him into the bar. He hurt Diana and Ike wanted Ben to suffer in pain as much as she had.

“Isaac,” he grinned, sitting next to Ike.

“Ben,” he nodded. “Stevie, get Ben a drink.”

Ben smiled at Ike’s son, mentioning to the younger man his drink of choice. While Stevie turned to make his drink, Ben looked over to Ike. Right now, Ike had a role to play. He couldn’t let his anger control his actions.

“How’s business, Isaac?” Ben asked.

“It’s great. I’ve been meaning to run something by you, actually,” Ike responded. Now seemed a better time than any to ask Ben about bringing Diana back to the Miramar Playa to sing. If all went well with this conversation, then Ike would be one step closer to bringing his girl back.

“Oh? What’s that?” Ben looked over at Stevie and nodded his thanks when the drink was set down in front of him. “It’s unusual for you to come to me about business proposals, Isaac. It must be important.”

“It relates to you actually,” Ike replied smoothly.

“Well? Out with it, Isaac. No need for the suspense!” Ben laughed.

“Is your wife still singing?” Ike asked.

Ben’s laughter ceased, but his grin maintained. “No, not anymore. Why?”

“Well, since she performed here at the Miramar Playa about a few months ago, I have gotten many people asking about her. Apparently, she’s made an impression on quite a lot of guests,” Ike nodded. “You’ve got yourself a talented woman, Ben.”

“She doesn’t sing anymore, Isaac,” he repeated.

“Well, I just wanted to let you know that there are people that are staying here that are willing to pay to see her perform. All sales will go to you. One hundred percent of it. I think it’s wrong and selfish of me if I were to ask for a percentage,” Ike laughed. “I just wanted to run it by you. I didn’t know what to tell guests, but now I have a clear answer.”

Ben remained silent. He was staring out into the water from behind the bar, sipping on his drink slowly. His mind was racing at the thought of Diana having to perform again. On one hand, he knew that Diana wouldn’t dare to disobey him again, but he was also afraid that the man she had an affair with could possibly be staying at the Miramar Playa, or even nearby. Ben wanted control, and he wanted power. He didn’t want some other man sweeping in and taking his wife away from him. If he couldn’t have Diana, no one would, and Ben would make sure of it.

“I’ll get to have all of the sales?” Ben asked. Not only did the man crave control and power, but he craved money.

“One hundred percent. Whatever we make from that performance, it’ll all be yours.”

“You know what, Isaac? I think that sounds splendid,” Ben smiled. “I think we can have that arranged. My wife has been feeling a bit under the weather lately, but I’m sure this will cheer her up. Do we have a projected date for her performance?”

“Possibly this weekend, if it’s not too much of a short notice,” Ike replied.

“Nonsense. My girl can make it happen,” Ben grinned proudly.

Ike smiled, but in his mind, he felt jealousy overcome him. Diana wasn’t Ben’s girl. The moment he kissed her, Ike knew that she was his and no one else’s. Though, instead of allowing his mind to take over, Ike nodded. “I’m sure she can. I’ll have everything settled by then. It’s enough time to advertise her performance. I’ll have my employees start selling the tickets.”

“Great!” Ben smirked. “That is great news, Isaac! I think I’m going to head on home and tell her the good news.”

“Oh, of course. I will see you both Saturday night.”

“Saturday night it is, Isaac.”

At the mansion, Diana was curled on her bed in a lacy nightgown. She felt icky and unlike herself, but she didn’t want Ben walking in to see her wearing anything other than the lingerie that he bought for her. She had gone to the bathroom many times throughout the morning, and still, she was unable to keep any food down without having to throw it back up.

She managed to buy a pregnancy test after retrieving Ben’s drink from the Atlantis. Telling Ike that she may possibly be pregnant only made the assumption more real and factual.

The three-minute wait was agonizingly long, and Diana had paced back and forth awaiting the results. When she finally glanced at the test, the two blue lines proved that she was in fact pregnant. She didn’t have enough time to take another, but she knew that by her symptoms and the way she had been feeling that it wasn’t the stress that was taking over.

Diana was pregnant and she was one hundred percent sure it was Ike’s.

She heard the sound of a car pull to the front entrance of the mansion. Diana knew it was Ben, so she clutched the blanket closer around her body as she acted asleep. Before, she would get irritated that he would always leave for the Miramar Playa, but now, she wished he stayed more often.

Not a minute later and Diana heard the door open. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to convince Ben that she was asleep, but knowing him, Diana was sure she was going to be woken up anyway. She felt the bed dip in weight, but she remained still, breathing evenly.

“Baby…” Ben called out in a soft whisper, running his fingertips down her blanket-covered arm. “Diana, wake up…”

She fluttered her eyes open, rubbing them absently and turning onto her back to look up at him sleepily. She feigned a yawn and looked at Ben. “Ben?”

He grinned, looking her over. “Why, Mrs. Diamond… You look very sick.”

“I haven’t been feeling to well,” she admitted. “I’m sure it’ll go away soon.”

“Hopefully you feel better by this Saturday,” Ben nodded. “I’ve got a surprise for you, darling.”

“W—What’s that?” she asked hesitantly. With Ben, there was always a price to pay. A surprise to Diana meant that there was much more than he led on.

“Well, you know Isaac, right? From the Miramar Playa?”

Diana nodded, clearing her throat uneasily. “Yes, what about him?”

“Well, he mentioned that there have been quite a few people requesting you to perform at the hotel again. He asked me if you still sang, then offered me quite a proposition that I couldn’t refuse,” Ben chuckled, pulling the blanket away to slowly inch closer to her abdomen.

“What did you tell him?”

“Well, Mrs. Diamond, you will be singing at the Miramar Playa again. Isaac says that however much you make from that show alone, I get to keep. One hundred percent of it. All mine,” Ben grinned greedily.

Diana felt a flutter in her belly with excitement. However, she watched Ben and noticed that his eyes had deviated to where his hand was now placed: On her abdomen. It made her uncomfortable and uneasy to know that Ben may have an idea that she was pregnant.

“I get to sing again?” she asked.

“Yes, baby. Now, say thank you.”

“Thank you, Ben…”

He grinned, kissing her temple lightly. He pressed onto her abdomen gently before pulling away, looking down at her suspiciously. “You do look sick, Diana.”

“Probably just a flu…”

“Right,” he chuckled. “The flu. Well, I’ll have Al bring you up some soup. We need you in perfect shape on Saturday.”

“Of course, Ben. Thank you,” Diana said, sitting up to kiss his cheek.

Immediately, Ben pulled away and walked to the door, looking over at her. “I sure hope that you are just sick, baby… If it’s something else, I’d hate to find out that you’re lying to me.”

Forever Taglist (let me know if you would like to be removed!): @a-girl-interupted || @adriannawiggins || @alyisdead || @ashzombie13 || @ask-kakashihatake || @asshatry || @chunex || @constellationsolo || @disfigured-it-out || @dixonsbait || @fiftypercentmoreintoyou || @fyeahashley88 || @harleysandbats || @hawtdiggitynegan || @heartfulloffandoms || @holyjeffreydeanmorgan || @hotfornegan || @i-am-negan-trash || @ibelongtonegan || @ididntasktogetmadedidi || @isayweallgetdrunk || @jasoncrouse || @jeffreydeanneganstrash || @jenniegs || @k4veggies || @labyrinthofheartagrams || @ladyynegan || @laymetorest77 || @ledger-kaos || @magikat409 || @myheart4ever47 || @naughtyneganjdm || @negan--is--god || @oceanicseries || @purplemuse89 || @ridingmoxley || @sable-the-trans-ham || @scentofpineandhazelnutlattes || @see-you-then-winchester || @spn-cw123 || @sweetsweetpeach || @warriorqueen1991 || @zombeeemomeee

#jeffrey dean morgan #jdm #jdm fanfiction #ike evans #ike x ofc #magic city #magic city fanfiction #story: fatal attraction

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dinosaurdragon · 7 years ago

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ALL THE QUESTIONS FOR VEE. ALL. OF. THEM.

hooooooooooooo boy. alright here we fuckin go. this is a lot. and i ramble. so it gets a readmore.

What would completely break your character?

completely, as in no longer capable of even pretending to move on and fight and live, as in not even trying… i’ll be honest, it’ll take a lot. vir’era’s a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for, especially mentally. to break him beyond saving, everyone he knows and trusts must p much die. die or be utterly destroyed themselves. if he has even one person who he can latch onto, he’ll make it.

so just kill half of kirkwall, half of ferelden, more of orlais than most would admit to, a smattering of others through the free marches, and even some various others, along with the entirety of clan sabrae and at least most of whatever clan it is zathrian had. and probably take out people he dislikes but is familiar with, just to be sure, like loghain.

What was the best thing in your character’s life?

without going into spoiler territory for inquisition-era events, or even for events after the current near-da2-endgame stuff, the best thing that has to-date been in vir’era’s life was littlefoot. (after that is probably mia’s letters/continued, unsolicited yet not unwelcome friendship.)

but littlefoot was purely loyal and just–so, so kind. so good for vee. his death is a scar vir’era will bear forever, and even if his loss is rarely mentioned, it’s less because littlefoot didn’t matter and more bc vir’era himself refuses to think too long on his absence.

What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

this is kind of a twofold thing: the worst thing that happened is when he realized he couldn’t return home (or, at least, that he couldn’t return the way he originally expected–through merrill’s eluvian). but his memories of Before have kind of…. dissipated. they’re just not there, not in any significant way. he could recite things that ultimately are from Before but have little bearing on where he’s from–the story of cinderella or how to do long multiplication or how to speak french, but he doesn’t remember Before. he wanted to go back, at least a little, and the choice was taken from him, and that was the worst day in his life.

however, since now he doesn’t even remember what he wanted to go back to, he doesn’t really think of that as the worst. now, as a reflection of the answer to the previous question, the worst is that littlefoot died.

What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

[answered in a previous ask]

Does your character work so that they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?

okay so tbqh i don’t actually know what hobbies vee can be said to have, or eve if the things he does can rightfully be considered a ‘job.’ he considers it his personal, self-appointed mission to ensure the best possible outcome in thedas insofar as he is able to steer it or aware of what can be manipulated, and that’s more or less all he’s really concentrated on? like, yes, he devotes time to “other” things, but he considers most of them to be a part of this mission. separating anders from justice is part of it, saving leandra was, working to save marethari, even accompanying the hawkes into corypheus’ prison.

if he has a hobby, it’s learning things. if he has a job, it’s helping people. both of these things are what he’s doing, and since he doesn’t really make money in a traditional way, nor does he spend it along normal avenues, this question doesn’t really apply, even though i still rambled a lot on it.

What is your character reluctant to tell people?

there are a LOT of things he’s reluctant to tell people. the most obvious is that he’s not thedosian (he no longer remembers what he is, but we as author-and-readers are to understand that he is terran and from our ‘universe’ so to speak), and only theron knows this truth; immediately thereafter is that he knows things he should not know, though there are several people at this point who have heard this.

he’s also somewhat reluctant to mention that he’s transgender/aqun-athlok, for understandable reasons. still, it’s not a perfect secret (theron, most (if not all) of clan sabrae, the couslands, sten-who-is-now-arishok, nathaniel, carver, meredith, cullen, and at least a few other people at the gallows are fully aware of this.) comparably, he’s not at all reluctant to mention that he’s gay. he doesn’t go yelling it from rooftops, necessarily, but he doesn’t hide it (nor does he try to). most people are made aware of it rather quickly, in one way or another.

How does your character feel about sex?

he’s very sex-positive. he doesn’t personally have casual sex, but he sees nothing wrong with such, if that’s someone’s desire. he’d probably be capable of having a romantic relationship without sex, but would prefer not to, because he really does enjoy sex with a romantic partner.

he’s also 100% a bottom, if anyone was curious. mostly bc i am, and he’s my self-insert. (it’s coincidental that i am/he is transgender; i just want to state that to be perfectly clear, bc toppy trans guys also exist and are also a+)

How many friends does your character have?

if you asked him, he’d say ‘a few?’ and then think about it for a long time before asking about what, exactly, qualifies a person as a friend by the asker’s intention, because he knows a lot of people, and has semi-regular correspondence with most, but doesn’t often see all of them.

that’s a long-winded way of saying: if you count friendship as ‘mutually have a positive view of each other and willingly maintain some sort of connection,’ it’s a whole goddamn lot of friends, and i frankly cannot be assed to count them all to be specific about the number. we’ll just say that his friends include majority of the dragon age cast, including a larger-than-expected number of otherwise-minor characters (like feynriel and pol).

How many friends does your character want?

this is another somewhat difficult question also resting upon what you mean by friend; if you mean the above broad definition, i suppose vee wants as many friends as he possibly can have; he’d much rather have good relationships with the people he meets and knows, and not only bc his anxiety would be Much Better that way, or even just bc friends are better than enemies, but also bc having lots of friends means there are lots of people willing to do things on your behalf.

if you mean more of the ‘people he trusts with his life and who trust him with theirs’ and who would fall more in the ‘bffs’ category, well, vee just wants to have at least one. more is better, but a minimum of one is sufficient. he does have this, in some ways, but he also doesn’t right now; he can’t tell all his secrets to any of the people who’d otherwise be in this category for any variety of reasons. it’s not a happy situation, but it’s better than nothing.

What would your character make a scene in public about?

as a general rule, vir’era doesn’t like to make a scene in public. he doesn’t like to make a scene in private, either. he is an Anxious Person, and making a scene is Bad For Anxiety. that said, he has made a scene before, and it’d be absurd, given what we all know will occur in the years to come, to believe that he would not make another scene.

there are some things, therefore, which he thinks it is worth causing a commotion over, regardless of what it does to his mental stability: slavery (it’s bad), attempts to hurt his friends (fucking don’t), when he’s simply pushed too far (don’t take advantage of his leniency/anxiety too much), and callous disregard for life (he WILL NOT tolerate that well).

What would your character give their life for?

HA wow well what wouldn’t vee give his life for? he’s kind of. very self-sacrificing. like, not drop-of-a-hat, die-for-anything self-sacrificing, but anytime he thinks someone else’s continued existence is more important than his own (which is most people), he’ll happily lay down his own life to ensure they keep theirs. one memorable example is when he was desperately trying to keep leandra alive and nearly died in the process! he did succeed in keeping leandra alive, though.

What are your character’s major flaws?

hahahahahahahhahahahahaha oh dear oh my are you ready to hear what i perceive to be my own major flaws bc that is part of this, though admittedly vir’era is a very idealized version of me who is more capable and more motivated :) actually on that front while vee does have flaws, like............ i’m kind of uh. egotistical sometimes. so y’know, what i think of as flaws and what other people view as flaws may not be the same.

that said, vir’era is a pretty shit liar. he’s very aware of this. it’s why most people at least have an inkling that he’s not quite what he claims. vee’s also not nearly as observant as he thinks--or, at least, he doesn’t always manage to comprehend what it means if a person has a certain reaction to a circumstance. plus, his anxiety makes it harder for him to perceive things the way they actually are (as opposed to how his brain wants to believe they are). he’s decently strong in terms of raw magical power, but he’s really not as well-versed in offensive magic as one would hope of a mage who finds himself in battle so often--he knows a handful of spells and relies upon them very heavily (paralysis glyphs, which aren’t truly even offense-based, and winter’s grasp make up the vast majority of spells he casts in battle); this makes him somewhat predictable, and if you’re able to break his paralysis glyphs, he’s already halfway to fucked.

What does your character pretend or try to care about?

frankly? vir’era doesn’t really care a huge amount about the dwarves. not bc he thinks they are unworthy of it or that it is an unworthy cause; more because it’s a pretty unfortunate case of out-of-sight, out-of-mind, combined with the fact that he already spends so much of his time caring very, very deeply about those other things he’s taking care of and closer to. the plight of any and all elves is much higher on his list, to the point that he really just... often doesn’t even think about what it’s like for dwarves, be they orzammar-born or surfacer.

How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

he tries to project the image of a humble but capable and caring young man. he wants people to not see him as a threat, for them to trust him implicitly, and for them to take his word seriously, even if he provides no evidence.

the image he actually projects is a bit... different. capable and caring? yes, most people would say as much--especially if they’ve been to the clinic in darktown. but humble? as quiet and reserved as he can sometimes be, very few consider him to be the prototypical image of a humble person. oh, he’s not egotistical, they’d not think that, either, but he carries himself with confidence, and it’s a poorly-kept secret that he’s yelled at the knight-commander on more than one occasion. since he and cullen sometimes spar in the guards’ training area, the guards (and almost all of the viscount’s keep, and all of the templars) are fully aware that vir’era can be just as deadly as mages are so often accused of. plus, everyone knows he’s a grey warden--he all but announced it from the rooftops upon his arrival in kirkwall--so even those who have not seen him fight are unsurprised to hear he is good at it. and on top of that? well, anyone who looks at his face can see he’s dalish, and so much about the dalish that is “known” in the cities is just a mess of outright lies... suffice to say that, for as caring as he is perceived to be, he is also seen as unpredictable (however unearned such a thought is) and more than passingly dangerous, to most of kirkwall.

(there are still plenty who view him as inherently lesser for the simple fact that he is an elf, those who refuse to believe that he could truly pose a danger to them, but few are willing to test it--fewer without the failsafes of power, position, and people.)

What is your character afraid of?

spiders, confrontation (esp w people he likes & trusts or otherwise doesnt want to upset), and the possibility that he has been complicit in corypheus’ release (since he knew what would happen and did nothing to stop it).

What is something most people in your setting do that your character things is dumb?

gender, misogyny, racism (and ‘colorism’ as real-world-racism-like stuff is referred to), the entire chantry institution

Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?

tbqh he’s mostly rather polite, though he does have his moments. so if 1 is most polite possible and 10 is most rude possible, i’d wager he’s a 2.5 or so. maybe just a 2, since most of his impolite moments are among friends, anyway

#theramblinggirl #the pterodactyl speaks #ask meme #twots #the way of the story #vir'era #hot damn this was a lot

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