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mountswhore · 3 years ago

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Hey girl, me again 🥺I’ve had this idea in my head for ages 🤔 based off the song ‘Polaroid’ by Liam Payne Mason Mount on holiday with the boys in Mykonos, him and the boys befriend a small group (reader and friends) bassically a holiday fling between reader and Mason but he never actually gets her name or anything just a few ‘Polaroid’ pictures of them both, few months later he’s been trying to find her but can’t and the lads convince him to post it on Instagram with the caption “Instagram do your thing” after a while he notices numerous different people (her friends) tagging the reader in it and turns out it’s her and sends her a message. Thankyou sweet cheeks 😎💙

aaahh bestie this is such a good idea

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 — mason mount

summary: mason can’t find the girl he had a fling with last summer, so he takes to the internet to find you.

notes: my requests are open, ask away!

for @yourmypurpose

Winning the Champions League was supposed to be a feeling like no other, a feeling that you’d remember for the rest of your life. But Mason felt deflated, he felt like the world was closing in on him and he could do nothing but watch it happen. Even his friends noticed his awful mood, they’d gone from watching him run around the pitch with the trophy, with a smile nobody could take away from him, to this; a man not wanting to leave his bedroom, let alone his house. His career was the only thing he was doing well in, his girlfriend left him, he would just train, come home to an empty house, sleep, and repeat. It wasn’t a life worth living.

“It’ll be fun,” Declan pleaded, following his best friend into his living room, “it’ll be the perfect chance to get away from everything, from work, from the UK, from your ex.” He spoke the last part quietly, yet Mason still heard and shot his friend a glare as he sat on the couch.

“I’ll think about it.” Mason mumbled, reaching for his PlayStation controller and turning his console on. Declan was trying to get Mason to come to Mykonos with a few of the Chelsea boys, as a celebratory vacation after winning the Champions League. But he wasn’t budging.

“You say that, but you never do. Come on, if it doesn’t lift your mood, you can take the next flight home.” Declan was trying to reason with his friend, to do anything in order to get this man out of his sweatpants and into some swim shorts. This holiday was all Mason needed to get back into his rhythm, to realise you don’t need a girlfriend to be the best version of yourself, to realise he was Mason fucking Mount.

The look on Mason’s face was completely readable, a smile appearing on Declan’s face. Declan jumped onto his friend, cheering and shaking him vigorously. “You won’t regret this, we’re gonna have so much fun.”

Mason found himself in his plane seat, earphones on, and on the way to Mykonos. Greece had always been one of his dream destinations, it was one of the places he’d planned on going to with his ex. Shaking his thoughts from his head, he’d drowned himself in the music. Waiting for the next three hours to be over.

The villa was lovely, the view from his room was even better. He felt himself smile just a little, hopeful for this holiday. He’d spent the first day enjoying the food of Greece, visiting the beach, taking in the place he was staying. Every time the negative thoughts would try to push in, memories of his previous vacations with his ex, he shut it down. He forced a smile and laughed with his friends, hoping they didn’t see through this façade.

It was tiring. Getting back from a busy day and then being told there was a club in town. Having to force that smile back onto his face once more. He still dressed appropriately for the night ahead, pre-gaming with his friends before heading out to this club. It was only 8pm and it was packed, the place had an outside terrace, which didn’t seem so crowded.

Drink after drink, rounds of shots, drinking games with his friends and a few randomers. It was wild. Mason was finally beginning to let go of it all; his negative thoughts weren’t affecting him right now. It was pure bliss.

“Mase,” Declan called out, gesturing to him on the other side of the bar, “wanna play beer pong? These guys need another group.” Mason just nodded along, looking over to the group he was referring to. It was a group of four, just like them, but he’d locked eyes with you for the first time.

Throughout the game, you constantly had a smile stuck to your face, brighter than anything he’d seen before. It was the infectious type of smile, one that spread to his face too. The drinks had done a number on his movement, almost stumbling to the terrace, where only a few people sat. He took in the cool air, resting his head back onto the wall behind him.

“You good?” You questioned, sitting beside him and placing a hand on his shoulder. He quickly opened his eyes, turning his head to face you. There you were again.

“I’ve had a lot to drink,” Mason mumbled, breathing heavier than usual, “your twin looks so much like you.” You just laughed, understanding how much he’d had to drink. You had also had a lot to drink, but clearly Mason didn’t handle alcohol well.

“Here,” you instructed, holding his hand out for him and placing a cup into his hand, “it’s water, drink it.” You watched as he did so, downing it rather quickly and slamming it onto the table beside him. “Do you remember your name?”

“Yes, it’s Mount. Mason Mount.”

“Well, Mount, Mason Mount, do you remember where you’re staying? I think it might be an idea to get you home.” You spoke, the cool air sobering you up almost entirely. Mason’s head was getting droopy, you’d seen this all before, he was inches away from snoozing on your shoulder. You just giggled at him and stood up, grabbing both of his hands and pulling him up.

“We walked here from our villa, it’s a silly looking one. One with the pool shaped like a love heart.” You hummed, not knowing which one exactly, so his information rendered useless. He was leaning against you as you both walked back into the club, spotting his friends again.

“Hey, he’s had a lot to drink. I was going to walk him home but the only thing he said about the villa was that the pool was heart-shaped.” You laughed to his friend, who you’d learnt was called Ben. Mason was looking around the club, the multi-colored lights making his eyes squint in pain. This was the beginning of his hangover, he knew it was only going to get worse from here.

Ben had been kind enough to give you the villa address, and a key, so you made your way to the location. It was weird how trusting they were, for all they knew, you could be a psycho thief. You’d gotten to the villa, after an awful walk up the hill, and placed him on the couch. You didn’t even want to look at their stairs, let alone take Mason up them.

“I’ll stay here until your friends get back,” you spoke quietly, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and laying it over the half-asleep Mason, “night, Mason.”

“You never said your name.” He stated, craning his head to look at you as you sat on the opposite couch.

“Y/N.”

Declan had gotten back, wanting to arrange another outing together, a bit less boozy than a club. And here you were, on your way to spend the day on a boat. You’d brought your polaroid camera with you, hoping to get some nice pictures with your friends before you go home in a few days.

“You’re back.” You spoke, sitting beside Mason as the boat started to move. He smiled at you, handing you a flute of a sparkly liquid, which you’d taken without complaining. “Having fun so far?”

“Yeah, I’m glad I’m seeing you again. I don’t really remember much from last night apart from your face.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. You blushed, hiding it with your hands and reaching for your camera.

“What do you say to a picture? To remember this moment.” You suggested, holding the camera up at the two of you. Mason’s arm slid around your shoulders, pulling you in closer with a smirk on his face. You just smiled your usual, bright smile, and let the photo develop.

The day was spent enjoying the view, jumping off the boat multiple times, finally making your way back to the docks when the sun began to set. Everyone was sitting on the front of the boat, taking in the last few hours of the sun on their skin, whilst you and Mason were at the back together. Away from the sun, completely alone. You laid beside him, your eyes shifting to look at him every few seconds.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He retorted, poking his tongue out at you as you laughed, shoving his leg slightly.

“Oh, I already have.” You replied wittily, holding the polaroid up to show him. It was quite a creative picture, actually. His skin was tanned, muscles perky, the sun hitting him in all the right places. He was very handsome, you could only imagine the job he had back home.

“Hey, give that,” Mason chuckled, reaching for the polaroid but you’d held it away from him. He leant over to you, hand out to grab it, but you’d both been focused on something else. How close your lips were. You could feel the other’s breathe, it was straight out of a movie the way Mason grabbed your waist and closed the gap between the two of you. He was pulling you down with him, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. This was an Oscar-worthy kiss.

You knew you wouldn’t see these boys again, as you didn’t have long before you returned back to the UK. So, as you were grabbing your things, you’d flicked through the polaroid's from today, finding the one of you and Mason.

“Here,” you spoke, holding the polaroid out for him to take, “I thought you’d like it. And it’s a way of remembering your time here, and the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever laid eyes on.” You joked, but Mason really felt that way. You were the most gorgeous girl he’d laid eyes on. He came on this holiday thinking it would depress him even more, but he found fun in you.

“Trust me, I won’t forget a face like that.” He replied, placing the polaroid into his wallet and smiling. “See you,” he whispered against your neck as you hugged, one last time, “someday.”

It had been two months since he’d returned from holiday, back to work, but more importantly, back to his old self. He enjoyed going to work, coming home, and spending time with his friends. He saw beauty in his mundane life again. But he missed you. He never thought he’d miss a two day fling with a random girl on holiday, it wasn’t even a fling, The pair of you hadn’t hooked up, only shared a kiss. But it was a good kiss, an unforgettable kiss.

“Have you searched her name up?” Declan asked, relaxing into the corner of Mason’s couch, rolling his eyes as Mason opened his wallet up for the fifteenth time that day. The boys were round for their frequent game day, a day Mason looked forward to.

Mason shook his head, slightly embarrassed to have forgotten your name, in his defense, he was out-of-this-world drunk. “I don’t remember it, I was hammered. Plus, I’m sure there’s at least a thousand people in this country who share her name.”

“Post the picture on Instagram, people always find people on there, it’s creepy.” Ben added, laughing at the end of his statement. It was a good idea, but was he ready to put it out there that he’d moved on, only for his ex to be mentioned in his comments again? Were you worth all of those nasty comments?

He’d posted the polaroid that evening, with the caption:

‘Instagram, do your thing.’

You had received a call from your brother, just as you were heading up to bed. Strange, you thought, your brother only called if he had some ridiculous news. You’d answered it, sitting on your stairs as he spoke.

“Did you meet anyone on holiday?” He questioned, your mind instantly flicking back to your memories with that man. The kiss on the boat, the horrible walk up the hill, the fighting over a polaroid.

“Why’s that your business?” You questioned, running up your stairs and grabbing the polaroid's from your bedside table and flicking through them.

“It’s my business when I’m scrolling through Instagram, only to find a Chelsea player has posted a picture of you and him.” He mentioned, voice raising in disbelief as he finished his sentence. You furrowed your brows, Chelsea player?

“Chelsea player? Chelsea, as in the football team you follow?” You wondered, opening Instagram to find this man’s account. You’d forgotten his name, curse your horrible memory. “What’s his name again?”

“Mason Mount,” he recalled, and you were kicking yourself for not remembering his silly James Bond introduction. Finding his account, you’d seen his recent post. It was your polaroid. The one you’d given him the last time you’d seen each other, he was looking for you. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, scrolling the comments and seeing everyone compliment you. How did you manage to run into this man and not remember his face? Or his name? The amount of times your family had mentioned how A1 he was on the pitch, how happy they were when Chelsea had won the Champions League.

“That’s not me,” you lied to your brother, knowing there was no way of escaping this now, everyone you knew would be able to tell it was you.

“Don’t bullshit me, Y/N,” he laughed on the other end of the phone, as you were frantically shoving the polaroid's back into your drawer, “I don’t know anyone else who uses a polaroid camera.”

“Should I text him?”

“You’d be an idiot not to.”

After ending the call with your brother, you sat in Mason Mount’s inbox for over an hour, unable to send him a message. Was there a right thing to say? Was ‘hi’ not enough for the man you’d left a mark on? Throwing away all of your conflicting thoughts, you sighed and just sent the word, ‘hey’. It didn’t take long for him to get back to you, so over the moon that he’d found you.

Mason: I can’t believe it worked, I actually found you.

Turns out my brother follows you and saw the picture, small world?

Mason: Chelsea fan, huh?

Guess so.

Your conversation lasted until the early hours of the morning, you promising Mason a proper date when you were both free. He had training the next day, but how could he sleep when he now knew you. He now had your Instagram, so he could talk to you, instead of staring at the polaroid in his wallet a million times a day.

#mason mount request #mase #money mase #mason mount x reader #mason mount smut #mason mount imagine #mason mount blurb #mason mount

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shirophantomvox · 3 years ago

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“Longing for Attention” Illumi x Reader

Hello anon! Thank you for this awesome request! This story consists of a little angst and fluff towards the end. I can truly say that this story is the closest to Illumi’s canon characteristics. If you all did not know, I am celebrating my 100 follower goal! If you’d like to participate in this event, click this link. Please note that requests for this event will close on July 15th at 12 AM EST. The post will have all of the rules and prompts!

👁 👁 👁 👁

“I swear I’ll haunt you in your sleep, Zoldyck! ‘Ya hear me, boy?!”

A body thudded as this man’s speech was cut short. A tired Illumi Zoldyck came calmly walking towards his target with the straightest face ever. Even at the sight of blood, darker than any he had seen, his lips remained neutral and his eyes remained half-lidded as they were. The sound of the mini heel on his green loafers echoed as he continued to approach the deceased man before him. The ballroom was completely empty, leaving Illumi all by himself for who knows why and what else could happen.

Being a bounty hunter was challenging in itself but being a bounty hunter and dating an assassin is a totally different story. Criminals began to spread the word of your alliance with the Zoldycks and formed many gangs to retaliate against you both. Both of you have been shot at, stabbed a few times, and even been robbed! After being robbed at gunpoint and dealing with trauma, it nearly made you quit your job because of the stress and life endangering events faced almost everyday but for Illumi, it didn’t phase him at all. Not in the slightest. After being robbed of his engagement ring, he simply went to another jewelry store and bought another. He did not cry, quiver, or shutter.

After Illumi phoned his father and gave him a brief overview of his success, he proceeded to the exit. The light flickered, giving the impression that an eerie figure stood at the end of the hallway. Electricity hummed the closer someone approached it, sounding like a fly trying to find its way back outside. An atmosphere like this one did not bother Illumi in the slightest but he did not like being there no longer tha needed.

“Y/n! Y/n! I know you can hear me!”

“Now is not the time to play around. We need to vacate the premises immediately,” He thought to himself. He began to bang on doors, opened them up, and yelled your name to the heavens trying to find you.

“Oh! I know,” he said out loud, snapping his fingers.

He opened a tracking app on his iPhone that displayed all of his contacts that had recently shared their location with him. Once he began the search, it revealed that you were 400 kilometers away. Tracking your phone was something he did every time he could not find you. At times it was adorable and sometimes it was weird and intrusive. Illumi’s intrusive behavior stems from his mother, Kikyo and no matter how you put it, it is very unhealthy. Caring can easily turn into an obsession that can make you do unsound things.

“Illumi! I am in the bathroom. Can you give me a second,” you ask, slightly irritated, washing your hands quickly. You did not want to keep him waiting any longer. It was always a mystery if it was his anger or anxiety that prompted him to bust the door down just to make sure you were safe. Poor Illumi Zoldyck. His expression of love and how he cared for others was rather odd and unusual. It is safe to say that you were the best thing that has happened to him.

As you open the door, he stands with his long arms crossed in a huff, his long legs creating an upside down “V” shape gazing at you a slightly angry about your disappearance halfway through the mission.

“Where were you,” he asked, moving closer to you. “While I had to complete both of our jobs, you have been playing around in the bathroom.”

“Illumi, you’re—“

“Shhh—“ He placed his index finger over your mouth, bending down at eye level, and smiled devilishly. “—I’ll still pay you but you owe me a favor.”

“—But I wasn’t playing in the bathroom!”

As you were pleading your case, Illumi nonchalantly typed away on his phone. He quickly showed you his screen that listed your every step within the last few hours. It displayed where you were, the longitude and latitude, who you spoke with, and if you took any pictures. You had no idea that a smartphone could disclose so much personal information and since you have shared your location with him, he has access to it all.

“—Care to tell the truth?” Illumi raised his left eyebrow, using his somewhat intimidating tactic used when he was a child.

“Fine. Ugh! Why do you have to be like this?”

“Like what?”

“You’re…too overprotective. Give me some space sometime! Hell, you might be pleased to know where I was.”

“Pleased?! I nearly had a heart attack when I realized you were not by my side! Are you satisfied that my heart weakens everyday?”

“You’re so dramatic. You might want to take up acting, you know.”

“Ha, ha, so funny,” he said flatly.

As you roll your eyes in irritation, Illumi closes the leftover space between you two. Still bent over at eye level, he places his large hand on your cheek, blinks twice, while his straight face remains. His cold hearted personality seemed to always overshadow his body but all of his warmth seemed to be omitting from his palm.

“I care about you deeply. I cannot have you running away doing God knows what while we are on a dangerous mission like this one.”

“Illumi, I—“ He places his index finger over your mouth again, shushing you as he continues to, as they say, pour his heart out for once.

“I understand that you are a bounty hunter, but if I’m being honest it is a much different line of work than being an assassin. It is my job to care for you while I complete some of the harshest tasks on Earth.”

“I’m not a child, Illumi. Do you want to know what I was doing? Those longitude and latitude readings are very wrong, by the way.”

“Huh? Ok…where were you then?”

Still, your face was placed in his palm, his large eyes staring in yours somehow made you feel lost. Your delayed answer made his palm involuntarily tighten.

“I bought you this pocket sized white teddy bear…?” This statement was propositioned as a question rather than a statement because you were afraid of how he’d react. He was already startled and giving him a plushie would only make it worse. Instead of reacting calmly he would assume that giving him a plushie would imply that he was weak.

“…Valentine’s Day is a few days and I know you’ll be in Las Vegas handling business so I decided to buy you something that will remind you of me while you’re away.”

The small plushie was a white teddy bear holding a heart. It’s eyes were as big as Illumi’s. Before you could hold it up to him, he grabbed it rather gently, stood up straight, and held it in front of his eyes for examination. He turned it around a few times as if it was on a rotator. He placed his index finger inside of the keychain loop and finally smiled. He placed this small object against his heart just before he bent down to meet your eyes once again.

“I always think of you. Come to think of it, that must be why my shots have been off.”

His face scrunches in a humorous way. As usual, his smile fades away and returns to his neutral look. Illumi’s silence signaled that his mind was running a million miles a minute. So many questions and feelings begged to be released but something was preventing him from doing so. You could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to suffocate you with a bear hug but he wouldn’t do it. He has been trained to think that assassins do not need friends, cannot express their feelings, and can only do what is needed to get the job done. It’s ironic; the Zoldyck children are not allowed to have friends but they are allowed to have lovers only so they can reproduce and keep their legacy alive. Love has no part in their marriages; they are only contracts, literally. As in love as Kikyo and Silva were (and still are), it would seem like they’d emphasize the importance of love to their children. As a result, they all have adopted an odd way of showing affection for others.

In this instant, Illumi’s face appeared to be more endearing than before. His face had darkened significantly, his cheeks were fatter like they were stuffed slightly, and his eyes twinkled. You smiled as you have truly found the key to his heart. All this young man wanted and truly desired was to be loved not for his abilities or job, but for him and only him. Your warm hands, now on his cheeks, felt overwhelmed with warmth. Just the sight of him at that moment was breathtaking. The flickering power, the unrest souls in the next room of his targets, and the eerie atmosphere seem to fade while you gazed into his eyes. Pressing his cheeks together, puckering his lips was indeed both an amusing and cute sight to behold.

“You are so adorable, Illumi. Did you know that? This “bad boy” behavior and clutching a teddy bear is too much to take in. I might just send a photo to your mother. She’ll screech and tell the entire world.”

“You wouldn’t dare do that ,” he said, words muffled; lips still puckered. He seemed to flush more and more every time you’d remind him of how vulnerable he is right now.

“Try me!”

“Mother would just embarrass me, you know that!”

“I know. Then I’d be able to see the sweet, soft assassin that I see now. All warm and cuddly. I’m sure you just want to sit in the back seat of your Dodge and just fall fast asleep, am I right?”

“I plead the 5th,” he said flatly.

“I was right! Ha, ha!”

“Would you pipe down already?”

Illumi’s right hand was placed directly behind his torso carelessly pressed against his lower back. He appeared to be in pain but made no mistake. If asked about it, he’d lie just to debunk any statements about him being weak.

“What is in your hand? Let me see it.” Your demanding tone turned into one that a mother has, specifically Kikyo.

“It’s nothing,” he said, slightly wincing in pain.

“Let me see it now, Illumi or I swear I’ll—-“

“Fine! Fine! Just don’t make a big deal about it, alright?”

A promise is a promise; that is what you said to Illumi as you agreed to not over react once you saw his hand. A healed bruise nearly scarred the entire base part of his hand. A light red dotted cut looked as if someone took a exacto knife and grazed it. You gazed back into his eyes. He looked hurt; longing for attention for a cut that had already healed. As childish as it may seem, just the slightest bit of attention is something he craved, even if something like this had been healed a long time ago. Him wincing was something he conjured up to grasp your attention. He raised his hand in front of your mouth, leaving it bent for you to grab.

“Do you want me to kiss it and make it feel better?”

“Please,” he replies, smiling slightly again.

The touch of your soft, moist lips made his smile grow larger, his cheeks flushing yet again. A few overlapped lipstick stains remained on his hand, something he might get tattooed so everyone knew who he belonged to.

“Why can’t you be this way every time we finish missions? We could have sooo much fun.”

“If I have too much fun, I’d abandon my remaining missions and father would not like that at all. He might even put out a contract on me.”

You sigh somberly. Illumi had his moments of anger, roughness, and kept his distance but moments like this, where he wasn’t afraid to allow his softer side resurface made you feel content as if you completed a mission of your own. Gazing into his eyes one more time, they sparkled greatly.

“At least I can enjoy this while it lasts.”

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elldell1204 · 4 years ago

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Hair Me Out - Spencer Reid x Reader

Y/N wears her hair in many different styles, and her boyfriend, Spencer, seems to appreciate each one in different ways.

A/N: So, I just wanted to add, I try to make my ‘reader’ as ambiguous as possible, that way you can identify with them more. However, I struggled with this one, as I am a white female with straight hair and not much knowledge of (though deep appreciation and love for) natural or curly hair, seeing as I have little to no experience. Therefore, I have tried making this as inclusive as possible but I’m sorry if at any point seems too specific and you can’t put yourself into the story. Feel free to call me out on anything you aren’t comfortable with!

Warnings: Slight sexual themes, swearing, normal Criminal minds stuff (let me know if I missed anything)

wc - 3,217

Dutch Braids -

You and Spencer had just gotten off from work about an hour ago after a gruelling day with an equally stressful case. Which is why as soon as you were both showered, dressed in the comfiest clothes you could find and waiting for the takeout to arrive, you were both sprawled out on the couch in front of a movie, having no energy left to talk, let alone move when there was a knock at the door. Seeing as you were the one with less of the other person’s body parts draped across you, you got up and answered while Spencer didn’t move an inch. You couldn’t blame him; the poor boy was exhausted.

Around twenty minutes later, you’d both eaten, leaving your plates on the coffee table in front of you with the mental promise to wash them later, and were back to snuggling into each other, getting as close as you possibly could to soothe each other after the day you had. Your head was tucked neatly into Spencer’s chest, your knees drawn up to near your chin in the foetal position, making yourself as small as possible. Spencer was the opposite; spread like a starfish with his arm around your back and his head rested against the back of the couch.

If someone were to ask you what the movie was about, you wouldn’t have a clue where to start. Truth is, you felt like you were stuck in-between both the lands of sleep and consciousness, due to wanting to spend some time with your boyfriend (despite him being your work partner for the best part of sixteen hours) but also wanting to sleep for three days. In attempt to make yourself just a little bit more awake, you started trying to focus on different things around you. First it was the quote on the front of the main character’s t-shirt, then it was the Metro you could faintly hear as the last train of the night rattled by, then it was Spencer’s finger tracing up and down one of your braids that you’d done quickly after your shower.

“Spence?” You murmured the first words spoken in practically an hour.

“Hmm?” He hummed in response, his half-lidded eyes shifting to your face that you had lifted to face him.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” His voice was merely a whisper, and if you weren’t listening for it, the only way you’d know he was speaking was from the vibration of his chest.

You gestured to your hair with your finger, and only when he realised did he stop what he was doing and chuckle lightly and dreamily.

“Oh, sorry, I’m not sure, it just feels soft, I guess. I’ll stop.”

“No, no, it’s okay, you can keep going.” You smiled at him, mustering up the energy to lean up and press a sweet kiss to his lips before retracting back to your previous position.

Ponytail -

To say you were having a bad day was an understatement. You usually like to try and stay as positive as you could be when chasing a serial, paedophilic murderer, but there’s only so many deep breaths and coffee breaks you can take before you really start to get pissed off. Not only had you been stuck in hot and sticky Texas for near a week, but you had also been put into single rooms at the hotel you were staying at. Now, not to sound ungrateful (because you very much are of the fact that you at least have a roof over your head), but only having one single bed to a room means that you can’t snuggle with Spencer after a long day, and these were proving to be very long days.

And to add to the problem, Hotch was constantly on edge since the start of the case, with the victims looking a hell of a lot like Jack, and when you were the closest person to him on that first day when his tensions finally boiled over, you had been the one in the firing line of his rage. Which you can take. You knew he didn’t mean it, and if he had to take his frustrations out on someone for a few days so he could do his job with a clearer head, you were happy to be the target.

But now after a particularly rough six days, your patience was wearing thin, and everyone on the team could see it, which is why they offered you and Spencer any jobs they were assigned that would get them out of the stifling police precinct. And you knew they had good intentions, but even that was starting to annoy you.

So now you were sat at the table in the conference room, a pen between your teeth as your eyes frantically search over the evidence you have piled in front of you, desperate for the answers to this case to fly off the page and hit you smack dab in the forehead so you could just go home and have a fight with a pillow or something, anything to destress.

You heard the footsteps coming from the doorway, but you refused to turn around. If it was Hotch, you swear to god you might actually lose your job with what you were thinking of doing if he was short with you one more time. If it was Morgan ready to hand you a first-class ticket to visit the slightly wrinkly and very smelly coroner again, you might actually flip the table.

“Hey, Y/N.” Spencer greeted you warmly, sitting on the table to your right as your eyes slowly lifted to meet his. No, not Spencer. Hold it together, Y/N, hold in your rage, he’s done nothing wrong. “Oh, I haven’t seen you with your hair tied back in a while. I like it.”

Such a sweet statement, and yet it broke you. You could see in his face the moment your eyes lit aflame with anger, and you couldn’t miss the harsh swallow he took to brace himself for your fury.

“Well, Dr Reid, let me teach you a lesson, shall I? 3 reasons. One, it is way more practical for kicking someone’s ass, and right now, I would love nothing more than catching the sleazy son-of-a-bitch who is deriving pleasure from this,” You gesture violently to the crime scene photos splayed out in front of you before continuing to spit your venom. “And beating the living shit out of him until he’s crying out for his mommy. Two, do you know how many officers have tried to flirt up a storm with me in the past week? Way too many to count on one fucking hand! One even went so far as to try stroking my hair like a goddamn cat, and so to avoid that situation, I have put it in a ponytail, because if anything of that nature happens again, I won’t hesitate to break someone’s arm. And three, I usually have it down because most men think you’re dumber when you play with your hair, or I can play seductive to get what I want without a warrant fifty percent of the time. But seeing as we have absolutely nobody on the suspect list right now, and the sheer fury I possess at this moment, I don’t foresee the possibility of me needing to be either of those things, do you?”

Your lungs were heaving once you were done, and poor Spencer looked like you just told him you were a Russian spy sent to kill him. Your eyes were locked onto each other’s, and when you came back to reality from your rant, you recognised the softness and love in his that you were grateful for every day. Granted, they were a little masked by fear right now, but you’d admired him often enough to be able to spot even the faintest hint of your favourite emotions.

You let out a deep sigh, signalling you were back to your normal self as much as you could be right then, before dropping your head into your hands to rub your eyes with the heel of your palms.

It was then you felt the unmistakeable warmth of Spencer’s hand rubbing soothing patterns on your back as you gathered yourself together, bringing tears to your eyes as you opened them once more to face him.

“Oh, Spencer,” You whispered, grabbing his hands tightly with yours, lifting them to your lips and pressing sweet kisses to his knuckles. “I’m so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve that at all.”

“It’s okay, my love.”

“No, it’s really not. I never should have raised my voice at you, especially when it’s not your fault at all that I’m frustrated.”

“Y/N, I understand.” He smiled at you, a small and sympathetic one, but it calmed you nonetheless as he stood, pulling you up from the chair to wrap his arms tightly around you. You gripped onto him like he might run away if you didn’t, breathing in the warm scent that is so unmistakeably Spencer. Your vision was now cloudy with the tears that so desperately wanted to spill, but you were adamant you wouldn’t give the local cops the satisfaction of seeing you with wet cheeks. Luckily, Spencer knows you better than anyone.

“There’s a park a few minutes’ walk from here with a small duck pond. Would you like some fresh air?”

You nodded frantically against his neck as you finally let go, allowing him to lead you out of the precinct, hand in hand, his thumb running softly over yours as you walked.

“I don’t deserve you.” You mumbled, leaning in closer to him as you carried on down the path.

“Nonsense,” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your hair. “We deserve each other. Just remind me not to get on your bad side; I like having both of my arms functional.”

Bed Head -

A blaring alarm at 6am has to be up there with one of the most annoying things on the planet, and I work with Derek Morgan. You let out a groan, your arm floundering around to find the source of the wretched noise. Groaning in defeat of not being able to do it with your eyes closed, you cracked one open, locating your phone, and finding sweet relief in the snooze button. A very overexaggerated yawn left your lips as you attempted to stretch your arms over your head in an effort to wake up, only to find one immobilised in the grasp of your boyfriend.

You took advantage the rare opportunity of waking up before Mr Alarm Clock himself (also known as Dr Spencer Reid) by allowing yourself a few minutes to admire his form in the golden sliver of sunlight escaping the outside world through the gap in the curtains. It was only when your alarm went off again after the five-minute snooze timer did you try to wake him up.

“Spence, baby, time to wake up.” You whisper, attempting to gently coax him from his slumber. When that didn’t work, you laced your fingers through his mousy-brown curls, scratching lightly at his scalp, just how he likes. Only then did you receive a response in the form of a muffled groan into his pillow.

“C’mon, my love. We need to get ready for work.” You spoke softly, pressing a delicate kiss to his forehead.

You chuckled lightly, wrapping your arms around his torso as your legs entwined. “Okay, my sleepy darling. But only five.”

“Mmm, five more minutes.” He mumbled, nestling his face into your hair as he pulls you closer than you thought possible.

Safe to say you took breakfast to go, just so you could bask in each other’s embraced for a little longer than five minutes.

Post-Sex Hair -

You climbed from his lap gently, unsure if your legs could hold yourself up as you panted heavily. Practically throwing yourself down beside Spencer on the bed, he took the opportunity to grab your hand, lacing your fingers with his as you laid your head on his chest. You were both still a little dreamlike in your post-orgasmic haze, and when Spencer began to press kiss after kiss into your hair, you didn’t hesitate to enjoy them.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered into your hair, punctuating his statement with a final kiss for good measure.

You looked up from your position, shifting slightly so you were face to face, and scrunched up your nose. “Really? Even with sweaty sex hair?”

He chuckled, and you followed with a giggle of your own as he leant over to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. “Especially with sweaty sex hair.” He whispered with a joking edge to his voice, his lips brushing with yours.

“Well, I’m pretty sure the team wouldn’t love my sweaty sex hair, so I better hop in the shower.” You smiled, kissing him quickly once more before climbing out of the bed and walking towards the bathroom, a sway to your hips.

As you reached the door, you turned to shoot a smirk over your shoulder at the blissed-out boy behind you. “Oh, are you not joining me?”

You swear you’d never seen the boy move as fast as when he clambered from the bed and chased you into the bathroom.

Straightened -

There was something about going undercover that equally excited you and creeped you out. Especially tonight, when you were having to go under in a club to catch a guy who was killing adulterous wives. You were the closest person in the team to his type, so it was a no-brainer to choose you, really. Didn’t mean you were happy with it, and it seemed that Spencer wasn’t either, if his clenched jaw was anything to go by.

Well, you were going to do it no matter what, so why not get yourself dressed up and try to bring some joy back to a less than ideal situation? That is why you were stood in the locker room of a precinct on the west coast in a red crushed velvet minidress with black heels, a fake wedding ring and straightened hair, and you couldn’t lie, you were totally feeling yourself.

“Woah, Y/N, you look…amazing.” You heard Spencer say as he entered the room.

You turned your head and smiled at him, feeling a little flustered as his eyes trailed over your form. You attempted to push your dress further down your thighs as he walked to you, his hands encircling your waist from behind and his head perched on your shoulder.

“It’s not too much is it?” You mumbled, looking down at yourself to do a final once over.

You felt his fingers under your chin, lifting your head to look him in the eyes through the mirror, ones filled with love and a hint of desire that set your skin aflame. He brushed your hair aside from your neck to trail kisses down the side of your throat, eliciting a breathy sigh from your lips.

“No, Y/N, you look badass.”

You giggled at the word that seemed so foreign coming from Spencer, but that was soon muffled when he spun you around by his hands on your hips and his lips hungrily met yours. Your lips moved against each other’s, his tongue coming to swipe at your bottom lip in a request for entrance. You granted it, and soon you felt your back collide with the cool metal of the lockers. You grabbed a fistful of his shirt as you explored his mouth with your tongue, relishing in the taste of him. You laced a hand up into his hair as you felt a hand that he had at your waist moving to your ass, gripping it roughly, causing you to moan into his mouth.

“Reid? Y/L/N? You two lovebirds ready?” You heard Morgan mock from the doorway and you both immediately jumped apart like some sort of invisible wall had shot up between you.

Looking around to see that Morgan wasn’t in your eyeline, given that the lockers luckily blocked you two from his view. But not from earshot, seeing as you could quite clearly hear his hearty chuckles as his footsteps got quieter and quieter.

You looked up at Spencer, his hair dishevelled and his tie askew, a look of both embarrassment and amusement at being caught making out like two horny teenagers adorned his face. A grin broke out on your lips, which he mirrored, and soon you were both laughing hysterically as you sorted yourselves out in the tiny little mirror on the wall, attempting to make it look like you weren’t a few seconds away from tearing each other’s clothes off, before re-joining the team in the conference room.

Messy Bun -

Ugh, cold and flu season. You swear you never make it through it unscathed. And it seems as if your battle was commencing today. You woke up feeling dreadful; runny nose, scratchy throat, constant sneezing, and red-rimmed eyes. Attractive.

There was no question in having to call in sick, so after throwing your hair up in the messiest of messy buns and locating the snuggest blanket, you dialled the number. You could practically hear the wince from Hotch when you started having a sneezing fit down the phone. Now you weren’t sure if you could look the man in the eye when you went back.

Once that torture was over and done with, you were feeling sorry for yourself and decided on a warm cup of tea and a dose of shitty daytime television. You were halfway through some over-enthusiastic talk show when you heard a knock at your door. Refusing to leave the blanket behind that you’d burrito’d yourself in, you shuffled over to the door.

You didn’t expect a very sympathetic looking Spencer on the other side of the door, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a welcomed sight.

“Hey.” You croaked out.

“Hi. How are you feeling?” You gave him a look that said it all, and he chuckled lightly. He lifted the bag he had in his hand. “I brought the best cure I could think of; chicken noodle soup.”

“I don’t want to get you sick, Spencer.” You whined, wanting nothing more than to curl up into his side but holding onto your selfless and rational thoughts by a mere thread.

You smiled at that, stepping aside to let him in. He passed you and went and got comfortable on your couch, grabbing a fork on the way. When you met him in the living room, he was ready and waiting for you with his arms open for you to snuggle into.

“Don’t worry about me. Now come on, your soup is getting cold.” He smiled, making grabby hands at you.

You made your way over, sinking into his embrace as he passed you the container and your fork. After a few mouthfuls and several minutes of listening to his steady breaths and thumps of his heart, you were feeling much better.

“Thank you.” You mumbled once you were finished and had placed your empty container on the coffee table in front of you, nuzzling further into Spencer’s chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now sleep, I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Didn’t have to tell you twice.

#spencer reid #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #Matthew Gray Gubler #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #mgg #mgg fluff

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madswonders · 4 years ago

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A Lesson In Romance #10: Thoughts

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Implied anxiety, Mentions of canon-typical violence

Word Count: 2.5k

Plot: Reader keeps getting caught in rom-com situations with Spencer Reid. This time, they're paired together on a case.

A/N: I know that the BAU's conference room has big-ass glass windows but just imagine that the blinds are closed for the entirety of this chapter aha. Also this chapter is a doozy... like 1k words longer than usual, so enjoy!

Masterlist | All chapters here!

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As Peter Gizzi once described the phenomena of love, "About you there is nothing I wouldn’t want to know / With you nothing is simple yet nothing is simpler."

In high school, your reputation always preceded you. The cynic that never had a boyfriend, much less a drunken one-night stand; a prude who waited over ten dates to have her first kiss; or the "ice queen" who kept her emotions locked up and threw away the key.

If they saw you now, you wondered if they would laugh at how you've changed; because these days, you looked like you were keeping the best secret in the world, one that threatened to burst from your lips every time you smiled.

What you didn’t know, is that you didn't need to be a profiler to see it. From the bubbling laughter and whispered conversations, to the not-so-secret longing glances. You and Spencer disappeared into your own world when you were together, and everybody knew it.

And for the first few weeks, that was enough. You found it easier than usual to ignore the thoughts that lurked in the back of your mind. That is, until you couldn't.

"... I want you and Spencer to work on the geographic profile." Hotch had announced, and you remembered the feeling of your blood running cold.

There were two reasons for this. First was the fact that this case linked twenty homicides across three years to a single unsub. If there was any case that required the two nerdiest members of the BAU to team up, this was it.

Unfortunately, that fact was closely followed by an overwhelming fear — and you wanted to preface this by saying that you were usually a woman of logic and science — but, somehow, you couldn't shake the thought that something bad was going to happen to you and Spencer, and you weren't ready for it.

Leaning against the cool conference room wall, you tapped your toes in an impatient rhythm against the carpeted floor. You were trying to recite what you learned from your PhD; that your mind was jumping to conclusions and that it was normal to be nervous. It was normal to feel this way. You were normal.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, jolting you out of your mantra.

You realised your boyfriend had been talking to you for awhile now, but clearly, you weren't listening. You shook your head apologetically.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. Could you say that again?"

"I was just saying, you can start by pinning the names and locations of the victims, and I'll put up the crime scene photos... but are you sure you're okay?" He asked again, this time shooting you those puppy dog eyes that made you weak.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Let's get to work." You said firmly, grabbing the box of push pins. You felt his gaze linger on you for a second, before he began picking up his own stack of pictures.

The first hour sped by quickly as you and Spencer listed out all of the unsub’s possible motives and next victims. At the half hour mark, Hotch dropped in to check on your progress, bringing takeaway coffee and leaving with a rare smile.

At the second hour, the rest of the team returned with some new leads, and unfortunately, new bodies, but nothing that helped solidify the profile any further than what you already had.

At the fifth hour, there was no denying it. The team had hit a wall. While the rest of them were back in the field investigating more leads, you sipped on your second cup of coffee while staring at the evidence board. Spencer paced the room behind you.

"The messy dump sites. The carvings onto the victims' chests. One points to the unsub being disorganised and inexperienced, but the other is a clear, almost narcissistic ritual." The doctor thought aloud.

"Usually that means the unsub is trying to make a statement, but he killed his first ten victims before the police found out, then killed another seven and three right under their noses before going dormant. If he wanted to make a statement, why wouldn't he tip off the police or media sooner?" He grumbled.

"Are we sure it's not a taunt to the local police’s competency? Many of his first victims were found in secluded areas with limited police support." You pointed out, tapping the edge of your cup in thought.

"No, the victimology and locations are too wide spread. A taunt would present a clearer message." He said.

You turned around suddenly, causing him to halt in his steps. "Here's something completely off the wall — but what if the unsub was trying to achieve a specific pattern with his kills?" You said, gesturing with your cup.

Tap, tap-tap, tap, you created the rhythm with your finger.

"That would explain why he isn't acting like a narcissist. Maybe he's suffering a mental condition that compels him to complete a certain pattern, and subsequently, ritual with his kills. Could be rhythmical, musical, numerical..." You explained.

"Numerical. That's it!" Spencer squeaked, rushing to the board with a marker. "I thought these numbers seemed familiar earlier, that's because they make up prime numbers!"

He backed away from the board to reveal what he wrote. The numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11. A lightbulb turned on in your head.

"2, 3 and 5 make up the first ten kills. 7 is the next, which he managed to complete perfectly, but something happened to the unsub at 11." Spencer voiced your thoughts.

"He might have been incarcerated, or injured. But we can't rule out the possibility that he might have moved out of town and resumed the pattern elsewhere. So either we can expect 8 more victims here, or the unsub has already moved onto the next number: 13." You quickly finished the train of thought.

"Love, you're a genius!" Spencer rushed over to pick you up by the waist, twirling you as you laughed in relief. But the relief turned to surprise when he kissed you deeply.

God, he was good at this. Even when your feet touched the ground, it felt like you were seeing stars. Though it was only when your lips parted that he had the decency to blush.

"Love?" You breathed.

Spencer's cheeks turned crimson in embarrassment, but he didn't back away. Instead, he leaned forward, bumping your foreheads together gently.

"I didn't know you had that in you, doctor." You teased.

"Well, my mother did school me in classic romance literature from a young age. Not to mention, I happen to be a genius at most things..." You could hear the smile in his voice, and you giggled.

The doctor pulled away then, an adoring smile still plastered across his face. "Are you fee—" He began, but his voice died in his throat as his gaze fixated on something behind you.

"Ooooh, am I interrupting something?" You turned around to see none other than Penelope smiling coyly from the doorway, and the two of you jumped apart.

"N-no, nothing!" Spencer blurted out.

"All fine and dandy here." You added on, blushing furiously.

The tech analyst smiled deviously. "Well, I thought I'd come and check on my two favourite lovebirds. Anything else from the case for me to chew on? Except whatever that was earlier." She teased.

"Actually, there is." You cleared your throat awkwardly, while the good doctor looked like he wanted to melt into the carpet.

"We need you to search up murders in neighbouring cities that match the mutilation by our unsub, then cross-reference the time frame with any new residents. We suspect he might be trying to complete a pattern, and that he may have done it somewhere other than here." You said.

"On it, future-Mrs-Genius. I will get back to you so fast that you won't even have time to get down and dirty." She half-yelled that last bit, heels clicking as she walked back to her office. Before you could even formulate a response, she was gone.

You felt your boyfriend wrap his arms around you from the back. "Now, where were we?" He whispered.

You giggled, leaning back into the doctor's chest while he rocked your bodies side to side. "Are you feeling better now?" He asked.

"Next time someone says it's not as intense in here as it is out there, I'm going to give them a stern talking to." You joked.

"You know what I mean, love." Spencer reiterated gently, the pet name falling from his lips like it was the most natural thing in the world. "If you tell me about it, I can help you. You know I'm always here for you."

You sighed softly, blinking back tears that threatened to spill.

"It's something stupid. I-I'm fine."

He turned you around, brows furrowing in concern when a tear rolled down your cheek. "What's wrong?" He asked, wiping it away tenderly.

"I— I was worried about us working together." You admitted. "And it's not because I don't like working with you, but I just— I just couldn't—"

"Take a deep breath, love. Slowly." He held your shoulders as you breathed in and out, once, twice.

"I've been afraid this whole day — no, for awhile now — that something was going to happen to our relationship." You confessed shakily. "And it's not about our jobs — although I worry about that too — but I'm scared that one day you'll wake up and realise that I'm not worth the trouble."

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the next wave of tears.

"A-and it's only gotten worse because I've never been so h-happy with another person before. Only you've made me feel this way, and I'm t-terrified that I'll lose what we have."

There was a brief silence as Spencer pulled you close to his chest, one hand stroking your hair carefully. You could hear his heart beating fast.

"Do you remember when the team tricked us into sharing a bed?" He whispered, a hint of a smile trickling into his voice. "I think about it every single time we're about to go into the field. Because you said you'd never leave me, and now, whenever we're out there, I know I'm not alone."

He breathed in deeply, your head gently rising and falling together with his chest.

"You've given me someone to come home to, love. What we have, you'll never lose it, okay?" He whispered.

"Baby, I—" Your voice halted. Crap.

"Wait. Baby?" Spencer repeated back to you, a teasing lilt in his voice. Your face flushed, and you unwinded your arms from your boyfriend to cover your face.

"Oh god, can we pretend that didn't just happen?"

"I have an eidetic memory." He pointed out. You let out a watery laugh, knowing when you had lost.

"Alright, alright. But I do have another ide—"

Then, the conference room phone rang. It was Emily. "Hey guys, Garcia managed to narrow down the unsub and we're 10 out, but we'll need some back-up."

"Be there in 15." You replied, while Spencer shot you an amused look, Luckily, he waited for the call to end before saying the next words.

"Let's go, baby." He wiggled his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, already strapping on your kevlar. "That's it. You're not driving."

"Aww!"

---------

After the major breakthrough in the case — all thanks to Nerd 1 and Nerd 2, as Derek fondly called the two of you — the case managed to wrap up neatly and the BAU found themselves in a rare position. Ready to end the work day, on time.

Not that anybody was packing up to leave just yet, although you wished they would, because Penelope had decided to start enthusiastically retelling how she found the BAU's resident lovebirds in the conference room, unable to keep their hands off each other.

"Last I heard, pet names aren't a crime — and how long were you standing there anyway?" You accused, blushing.

"Firstly, they are. Criminally cute, that is!" Penelope squealed, while the rest were in fits of laughter. "And secondly, you should never underestimate my awesome ninja abilities, because I heard everything that I needed to hear."

"Do I even want to know?" Spencers winced.

"I don't think you do, pretty boy." Derek laughed, clapping the genius on the back.

"Wait, wait, wait. Can we go back to how Spencer's pet name of choice is love?" Emily gasped in laughter.

"You've got to admit it's kind of cute, Emily." JJ smiled.

"Sure. If you're courting Mr. Darcy and attending cotillions."

"C'mon, Prentiss. All that means is that our boy's got style." Derek added to laughter, while Spencer whined in protest.

The door to Hotch's office opened suddenly, both him and Rossi stepping out with expressions of urgency on their faces.

“Sorry to break up the fun, kiddos. But there's been an update to the case.” Rossi announced, following right behind Hotch to the conference room.

The laughs were wiped off everybody's faces as you traded concerned looks. As you filed into the room, Hotch had already begun speaking.

“Another body was found half an hour ago. Same MO, same random victimology, and same kind of dumpsite. And the unsub just told us where to find his copycat.”

“Wait, we never profiled a second unsub.” Derek interjected.

"It doesn't makes sense — the first unsub is a control freak. He didn't like the idea of anybody messing with his sequence. Wouldn't he have done something if he knew somebody else was copying his pattern?" You asked.

"We profiled that he wouldn't be able to deviate from his pattern. What if he had to continue, even when somebody else was committing some of the crimes for him?" Spencer countered.

“Hold on, you said the unsub gave us a location?” Emily asked.

"And a time." Rossi voiced up. “8pm tonight at The Basil. The first unsub claims that's where the copycat finds his next targets."

"How do we know if we can trust him?" Derek asked.

"We don't. But he didn't display any telltale signs of doubt when he told us, and this is the only lead we have." Hotch's frown deepened. You had a feeling he didn't like the idea of this either, but the team didn't have a choice.

"Okay, if we're doing this, he can't know we're onto him," Emily thought aloud, "and we'll need precautions in case it's a trap. That means..."

"Undercover agents... and the bait." Hotch said with finality.

“And who did you have in mind for that?” You piped up, and everyone turned their eyes to you.

“You and Reid.” He stated the obvious.

“B-b-but, I’ve never gone—"

“You’ve more than proven your abilities in the field since you joined us, and having natural chemistry will make it less suspicious to the unsub.”

You opened your mouth, but no words fell from it. Hotch was right. Of course he was right.

As if hearing your thoughts, Spencer took your hand in his and squeezed, and you felt a little calmer already. “Ok, I’ll do it.” You said determinedly, while the doctor echoed your sentiment.

Hotch nodded, beginning to assign roles to the rest of the team while you squeezed your boyfriend's hand tighter, a new mantra forming in your head.

Everything is going to be okay. Everything will be okay.

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Tag List:

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#mads fics #spencer reid x reader: a lesson in romance #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #cm fanfiction #cm fanfic #cm fic #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid x reader hurt/comfort

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fridayfirefly · 4 years ago

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A Guardian in Gotham

Read A Guardian in Gotham on AO3

Masterlist

Written for Maribat March Day 19 - Guardian

Note: In this AU Master Fu gave out the Ladybug Miraculous to Marinette and the Black Cat Miraculous to Adrien before consulting the Kwami. Marinette turned out to be a true holder, but for the Black Cat Miraculous, not the Ladybug Miraculous. However, she and Adrien made it work and were able to defeat Hawkmoth anyway. After Hawkmoth's defeat she becomes Lady Noire full-time.

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Being the Guardian of the Miraculous was hard work. There were no family vacations, no sleeping in or going to bed early, no breaks. Marinette could not relax until Hawkmoth was defeated. Which explained why it was such a jarring change once the Miraculous Team defeated Hawkmoth.

Gabriel Agreste was behind bars. The citizens of Paris were free from the threat of akumatization. Tikki, Plagg, and the rest of the Kwamis went dormant in order to restore the damage done to Duusu's Miraculous. Marinette didn't exactly know what to do with herself. Suddenly it hit her that she was no longer the middle schooler who accepted the burden of Guardianship. She was in her final year of high school, nearly an adult. All around her, her friends were making future plans. Adrien was taking a gap year to help Emilie recover from her coma. Alya was accepted to a prestigious journalism program. Nino was DJing at one of the best clubs in Paris. Luka was releasing his EP. Kagami was training for the Olympics. Chloé took up an internship with her mother.

Marinette couldn't move on, the way all of her friends were able to. Marinette couldn't be a normal girl anymore. She couldn't go to university, start a family, live a normal life. She needed the rush of adrenaline that came from two little words - Spots on! or more recently, Claws out!

It was around this time that the Temple of Guardian got in touch with Marinette, offering her an opportunity to continue her work as a Guardian of the Miraculous. They send Marinette a box of old journals, dating back to the 18th century. The journals detailed the discovery of twin "wells of evil" located in the American cities of Gotham and Metropolis, then named Mortham City. The Masters of the Miraculous who made this discovery studied the evil and expressed the desire to find a way to remove it, but didn't have the chance to complete the task before the Temple of Guardians fell. When the Temple reappeared they believed that the Masters had managed to destroy the evil in Mortham, due to the reports of the city's recovery and renaming to Metropolis soon after, but were unable to destroy the evil in Gotham. The city festered, growing more and more troubled while Metropolis flourished. Marinette's task was to do her best to study and remove the evil in Gotham.

Marinette applied to Gotham University, feeling relieved that she might finally find her purpose.

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Marinette's dorm room at Gotham University was rather lackluster; it was the typical tiny, cramped American university dorm, complete with a stained carpet and a bathroom shared between six girls. Her roommate was a computer science major named Barbara Gordon. Barbara was older than Marinette, a senior while Marinette was only a freshman. It was a fluke accident that the freshman dorms had filled up before she was admitted. Secretly Marinette wished that she had been able to room with another freshman. Barbara was rarely in the dorm room, too busy with her coursework and her real friends to make small talk with her nervous roommate.

Marinette barely spent any time in her dorm room, either. She spent most of her time in class or at the library studying. Marinette had the ambitious plan of double majoring in both fashion and business, in order to start her own fashion company someday. Her classes overwhelmed her, and Marinette began to regret overloading her first-semester schedule. It gave her barely any time to work on her Guardian work, let alone join an extracurricular.

Marinette wanted to decorate the dorm and make it more of a home, but because of a plane delay, she ended up arriving at the university the day before classes started, giving her no time at all to go to the store and buy anything. Another unfortunate casualty of Marinette's late arrival was that she still hadn't figured out how Gotham's bus schedule worked, so she walked everywhere, even in the pouring rain.

Overall, Marinette's first week of classes was miserable. That was why Marinette was crying in her dorm room, alone, at six in the evening on a Friday night. It all started when Marinette saw a picture of her old class on social media. Alya and Nino were making faces at the camera; Marinette and Adrien were both grinning, Marinette's blue scarf wrapped around his neck; Ivan and Mylène were holding hands, staring into each other's eyes; Rose was posing, kissing Juleka's cheek; Alix was perched on Kim's shoulders; Nathaniel had his arm wrapped around Marc's shoulders; Max was holding up Markov so he could wave to the camera, Sabrina and Chloé were smiling, holding hands.

The photo had been taken years ago, on their first day of lycée. Marinette remembered it well. They had all been nervous about starting at a new school. There was no guarantee that they would all be in the same class. Max had calculated the odds for even half of their class staying together and it wasn't good. But that morning, when Marinette walked into her homeroom and saw all of her friends sitting there, she knew that it would be okay. Chloé revealed that she had gotten her father to provide a generous donation to the school to keep them all in the same class for the rest of their education. Marinette had been so happy to get to stay with her friends. Now she was on a different continent from them.

The tears started to fall, slowly at first, then more and more until Marinette was sobbing, face pressed into a pillow. How could she have made such a stupid decision? All of her friends were in France and she left them, all because she couldn't move on.

Two knocks on the door halted Marinette's sobs. "Babs? Are you in here?"

Marinette got up and opened the door, revealing a young man. He looked to be her age, tall, with black hair and blue eyes. "Barbara isn't here right now," she told the man.

The man blinked, looking at Marinette like she wasn't what he expected at all. "I guess I should have called her before I showed up. I'm Tim, by the way. I was just here to drop this off." Tim held up a container filled with chocolate chip cookies.

"I'm Marinette. If you want, you can drop the cookies off on her desk. I'll tell Barbara that they're from you, once she comes back to the dorm." Marinette wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve, trying to get rid of the evidence of her crying.

"Are you okay?" asked Tim.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just a little homesick. Nothing to worry about."

"You should come with me to get dinner," offered Tim. "I was just about to stop in at the dining hall."

Marinette shook her head. "I wouldn't want to impose."

"It wouldn't be an imposition at all. I hate eating alone."

Marinette gave him a wary look. "I don't know you. Why would you invite me to eat with you?"

Tim shrugged. "You look like you could use some company, to take your mind off of your homesickness. Unless you want to spend the rest of your night crying in your dorm."

Marinette bit her lip as she thought it over. It would be nice to get out of the dorm and get something to eat. On the other hand, Tim was a complete stranger whose intentions Marinette still didn't trust. Then Marinette remembered the photo of her friends and made up her mind. If she couldn't have her old friends here in Gotham she would have to make new ones. "Alright. Just give me a few minutes to get ready."

Marinette threw on a pair of jeans, a Gotham University hoodie, and her sturdiest pair of sneakers.

"So what's on the menu tonight?" asked Marinette as they walked out of the dorm building to Tim's car.

"Uncertain. I can't remember the last time the dining hall actually updating its online menu. I was planning on crossing my fingers and hoping that they would be serving something edible tonight."

Marinette wrinkled her nose. "Is the food usually edible?"

"It's hit or miss. If you want, we could go to a diner instead?"

Marinette nodded. "I don't want to spend my weekend with food poisoning."

"Good choice." Tim turned the car around and started driving into the center of Gotham.

"Are you a senior like Barbara?" asked Marinette.

Tim shook his head. "I'm a sophomore. How about you?"

"Freshman. This is actually my first Friday in Gotham."

"Where are you from?" asked Tim.

"Paris, 21st arrondissement."

"That must be a pretty big change. What made you choose Gotham?"

Marinette shrugged, not wanting to give away her real reason. "I figured all the supervillains and Rogues might remind me of home."

Tim looked confused for a second before a realization passed over him. "I forgot about Hawkmoth. It was a big deal here in Gotham when he first emerged because the Mayor of Paris refused to allow the Justice League to intervene. All because he was worried about 'damaging the historic buildings of Paris'."

Marinette let out a bitter laugh. "That wasn't the real reason, you know. I was friends with Andre Bourgeois's daughter, Chloé. She says that he didn't want the Justice League to get involved in the fight against Hawkmoth because he couldn't merchandise any of the Justice League members. Ladybug, Chat Noir, and the rest of the Miraculous Team, on the other hand, never copyrighted their images. Paris used the Miraculous Team to bring in billions in tourism and Bourgeois never paid them a cent."

Tim looked surprised. "You sound like you know a lot about the Miraculous Team."

"I got to know them all pretty well. My classmates were known throughout Paris as the 'Children of Hawkmoth' - as if it was our fault that Hawkmoth targeted my school at a rate astronomically higher than the rest of the city. Of course, when it turned out that Gabriel Agreste's son was one of my classmates the nickname got a bit more personal."

Tim let out a break. "I suppose moving to Gotham makes sense when you've spent that much time in proximity to superheroes and supervillains."

"Gotham is an improvement to Paris under Hawkmoth. At least none one your Rogues can mind control." Marinette shuddered at the memory of her friends and loved ones turning against her due to Hawkmoth's influence.

Tim pulled into the diner parking lot. The pair got a booth in the back and put in their orders. Tim and Marinette spent the night trading stories of the most interesting Parisian akumas and Gotham Rogues.

Tim was enraptured. He told Marinette that for years it had been difficult for outsiders to get any reliable information about the Miraculous Team, outside of what Andre Bourgeois used for his tourism campaign. So Marinette did her best to share all the little details that every Parisian knew like the back of their hand: That Valentines Day was the worst holiday because all of the akumas were love-based. That they were trained in school to either lock their emotions down or let them all out, if they saw an akuma, to try and diminish the akuma's power. That Ladybug and Chat Noir, once they realized that their fanbase was primarily children, made it a point to never swear during their battles.

By the end of the night, Tim and Marinette made plans to meet up the following day. Tim promised to take Marinette out into the city for the shopping trip that her delayed flight caused her to miss. Marinette went to bed that night hopeful for her future in Gotham, a feeling she never thought she would have again.

----------

Over the next few weeks, things got better at Gotham University. Marinette started spending more time out of her dorm room with Tim, and eventually, with her roommate Babs and Tim's brother (and Bab's boyfriend) Dick. Tim became Marinette's lifesaver after he taught Marinette how Gotham's bus system worked. Marinette finally got around to decorating her side of the room. Her new style and color scheme (navy blue and sunflower yellow, Gotham University school colors) suited her much better than the pinks and whites of her high school days. Her productivity increased as she settled into the school, and Marinette found that she actually enjoyed her classes. It wasn't perfect, but Gotham University began to feel a bit more like home.

Most importantly, Marinette had begun to make progress on her work as a guardian. It had taken a whole weekend, but she eventually located the epicenter of Gotham's evil, a rundown tenement building in the heart of Crime Alley. The basement of the building housed storage units, one of which Marinette promptly rented. She set up her workshop there, bringing out the Miraculous Box so that she could consult the Kwami. Tikki and Plagg both woke up from their hibernation and Marinette got to work.

"I can sense the evil," spoke Tikki. "It's overpowering."

"It's like going from the Sahara Desert straight to the middle of the ocean," added Plagg.

"It does feel similar to drowning," Tikki agreed.

"Do either of you have any idea how to get rid of it?" asked Marinette.

Tikki shrugged. "I wish I could tell you how to defeat it, but it's unlike any enemy the Kwami of your Miracle Box have ever gone up against before. But look on the bright side, we know that it can be eliminating. I can only assume that the Kwami were involved when the evil was eliminated in Metropolis."

"The solution is easy. We cataclysm the evil," said Plagg.

"We don't know what would happen if we use cataclysm against something that isn't fully corporeal."

"Then we use Sass's second chance until we get it right."

Tikki brightened up. "Oh, that is a good idea - using second chance, not using cataclysm irresponsibly."

"See! I do have good ideas sometimes. We could also use Pollen's venom to freeze the evil in place and stop it from fighting back."

Marinette could listen to her two favorite Kwami argue forever. She had missed them terribly. But she had a job to do, so she interrupted their banter. "Do you think I should use Mullo to wield multiple Miraculous?"

Tikki shook her head. "You'll need at least one other person with you. If you get hurt, someone else will have to use second chance."

Marinette pondered that fact. "Luka's going on tour next month. He's stopping in Gotham for a weekend. Chloé is only an hour drive from Gotham, up in New York City, so she could be here any time. If we plan everything right, we could have the evil destroyed before the semester is over."

Once again, Tikki shot down Marinette's plan. "This is too strong for Luka's second chance or Chloé's venom. If you want to do this right you'll need to use true holders."

Marinette winced. Finding the true holder of a Miraculous was a near-impossible task. Of her entire Miraculous Team, only Marinette and Adrien were true holders. While the Kwami could sense a person's aptitude, they needed to be within fifty feet to get an accurate read. There was no way Marinette would be able to find the true holder of both Sass and Pollen. "Okay, new plan. What if I get Mullo to multiply myself and then have each copy of me take a different Miraculous?"

Marinette brainstormed with the two Kwami for hours, desperate to find a solution to the problem that had plagued Gotham for centuries. However, they still couldn't come up with a plan in which Marinette would be able to rid Gotham of the evil without enlisting the help of at least one other true holder. In the end, Marinette decided to take Tikki, Plagg, Sass, and Pollen back to the dorm with her, hoping that they might stumble upon another true holder.

"I wish we had a better plan," sighed Marinette.

"Keep your head up, Marinette. The only thing we can do now is stay positive and hope for the best," advised Tikki.

It wasn't a good plan, passively waiting for someone to solve her problem for her, but it was the only plan they had. Marinette had no other choice. If she tried to take on the evil alone, it would overpower her. It was disheartening. Marinette rode the bus back to her dorm. The streets of Gotham felt colder on the return trip.

Getting dinner with Tim was the only thing that could cheer Marinette up, so she pulled out her phone and sent him an invitation to meet up.

Marinette: Do you want to go get dinner? I heard the dining hall has vegetarian lasagne

Tim: Sure! Be there in twenty

Marinette put her phone away as she got off the bus and started walking towards the dining hall, dodging the sidewalk puddles that never seemed to dry. Even when it wasn't raining, Gotham was a dreary city.

Tim and Marinette chatted about their classes as they ate their food. By the end of dinner, Marinette felt a little better about her disappointing day. Tim could always lift her out of a bad mood. Marinette considered it his superpower.

"I'll see you tomorrow," said Marinette as she got out of Tim's car in front of her dorm hall. She expected to get to her room without incident, but as soon as she got into the relative privacy of the stairwell, all four of her Kwami were circling around her head, speaking in rapid succession, too quick for Marinette to keep up.

"I can't believe it!"

"You've got some luck, Pigtails!"

"This is great news!"

"I can't wait to meet him!"

Marinette blinked as she tried to make sense of the Kwamis' words. "What's going on?"

Pollen's eyes were bright. "Tim is my true holder!" the Kwami squeaked excitedly.

Marinette gasped. "Really?"

"He'll make a perfect Bee. He seems so smart and funny and considerate. I bet he'll feed me loads of honey and get fresh flowers for all of his rooms and be my best friend." Pollen sighed dreamily, pure joy in her voice.

"Pollen, have you ever had a true holder before?" asked Marinette.

"Of course. It's been a long time, though - at least a thousand years since my last true holder died. I missed it a lot. But now I have Tim!"

Marinette smiled, overjoyed that she finally had the means to complete her mission, that Pollen finally got to meet one of her true holders again, that Gotham might be freed from the evil that had loomed over it for centuries. Mostly, she was overjoyed that she met Tim all those weeks ago, that he took the time to get to know her, that he was there for her when no one else was.

----------

"So the Kwami are little gods?" Tim stared at Pollen with an almost scary intensity, as if he thought looking away might make the Kwami disappear.

Pollen flew up closer to Tim to explain. "The Kwami are linked to certain aspects of humanity: creation, destruction, intuition, protection, et cetera. We have a certain amount of control over these qualities. I am the Kwami of Subjection, of control and mastery. I can give you the power to incapacitate your enemies."

"Incapacitate them how?"

"Using the power of venom, you will be able to freeze your enemies in place."

Tim wrinkled his nose. "That sounds a little morality dubious. How do you know I wouldn't use it for evil. This is Gotham."

Pollen rolled her eyes. "You're my true holder, Tim Drake. I trust you with my entire being."

"What does that mean, for me to be your true holder?"

Pollen's cheerful expression turned sad. "Of all the Kwami, my powers are the most often exploited. The power of subjection, of complete and total control over your enemies, is corrupting. However, you, Tim, are my true holder. Your self-control is strong, I can sense it. You will not be corrupted by the power I give you. You will wield it fairly."

Tim glanced over at Marinette, and she gave him her most encouraging smile. "I need you, Tim. I've needed you for a while. First, as a friend, when I was at my lowest, and now as my partner. There's an evil that resides in this city, that I have been tasked with destroying. I can't get rid of it alone. I need you to help me."

Tim's eyes widened. "You mean there's a supernatural reason for Gotham's condition?"

Marinette nodded. "There's a well of evil underneath the city. Using the Miraculous, I can remove it. But it's too powerful for me to do it alone. I know this is a lot to ask, but-"

Tim interrupted Marinette before she could finish her sentence. "You know, Gotham is well known for its distaste for magic-users and meta-humans." Marinette opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted once more by Tim. "However, I trust that you want to do what's best for this city. I'll help you."

Marinette's face brightened. "Thank you! I have a plan but I still need to fine-tune the details. I'll get back to you as soon as possible. For now, you should take the Bee Comb with you. You'll need to form an emotional bond with Pollen before you can achieve peak performance."

"You seem to know a lot about the Miraculous and the Kwami."

"It's my job to be knowledgable. I'm a Guardian of the Miraculous."

----------

"So how does a girl like you become a Guardian of the Miraculous?" asked Tim as they ate their lunch in the storage unit after a long morning of pouring over plans.

"I was chosen by the previous master. It's a long-standing tradition that the Guardian can only be a true holder, because true holders notoriously incorruptible except in the most extreme situations. I was the only true holder that Master Fu knew of, other than himself, so despite my age and despite the fact that I wielded the Ladybug Miraculous rather than the Black Cat Miraculous, the Miraculous I was the true holder for, he passed the responsibility onto me."

"How old were you when you became the Guardian full-time?"

Marinette tensed her shoulders. "I was fourteen. Master Fu wanted to wait longer, but there was a situation. I lost my only mentor, with only a fraction of my training completed."

"That sounds rough," Tim's tone was sympathetic. He placed his hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"It was difficult," Marinette admitted. "For the longest time, I was mad at Master Fu for waiting so long to start training me. It wasn't until I got older that I realized why he was so reluctant to start my training. He felt guilty for stealing my childhood away from me. The situation in Paris was bad and tough choices had to be made. I don't blame him, but there are a lot of things I wish had been done differently."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost my mentor-" Tim's thoughtful tone turned frantic. "Not that my experience with mentorship would compare to yours, because I wouldn't know anything about being a teenage superhero."

Tim's words were suspicious, but Marinette didn't have time to figure out what he was hiding. They had a job to do. "Well, it's time to get back to work. You need to practice using venom on non-corporeal objects. I want to see if you're able to freeze the wind."

"Sounds good, Bugs."

"Bugs?"

Tim nodded. "I figured you could use a nickname. Do you not like it?"

"No, it's fine." Marinette paused. "Actually, it's better than fine. I really appreciate it. Thank you, Tim."

"No problem, Buggsy," Tim teased.

"Okay, now you're pushing your luck," Marinette teased right back.

----------

Lady Noire and her partner Yellowjacket stood in the basement of a rundown tenement building in the heart of Crime Alley.

Lady Noire spoke the plan aloud, the rhythm of her words revealing that she had spoken them many times before in preparation for the event. "I'll start by drawing out the evil. As soon as it senses the power of destruction that I hold it will try and consume me. I need you to be ready to use your venom the moment it emerges. Once it is frozen, I will use cataclysm. Are you ready?"

Yellowjacket responded. "I'm ready."

Lady Noire closed her eyes and let out her breath in a drawn-out hiss. The shadows around her darkened and she let out a pained gasp as she fell to her knees.

Yellowjacket sprung into action. "Venom!" he shouted, thrusting his palms out to let his power fill the room. The whole room lit up with yellow light, bright enough to rid the room of all but the supernatural shadows.

The shadows, which had been growing exponentially, suddenly stopped dead in their tracks. Lady Noire got back up onto her feet, a vicious snarl on her face. "You have been terrorizing this city for centuries. No longer will I will allow this evil to haunt Gotham. Cataclysm!"

The shadows crumbled, leaving behind only natural darkness. The transformation disappeared from Lady Noire, leaving behind a girl, who gasped for breath. "Tim, we did it!"

"Pollen, buzz off," commanded Yellowjacket. He was so impatient to hug the girl that he had his arms wrapped around her before his transformation was finished. "It's over, Marinette."

The girl shook her head gently. "It's not completely over. The effects will surely linger - Metropolis still sees its fair share of villains - but it will be nothing like what it was before. I imagine the vigilantes that roam Gotham will have a much easier job, though."

The boy tensed up. "Speaking of the vigilantes that roam Gotham, I suppose there's something that I should probably tell you. I'm Red Robin."

The girl blinked once, a dumbstruck expression on her face then burst out into peals of laughter. "Just my silly luck that I ask a vigilante to be my superhero partner."

The boy grinned. "I am rather fond of your silly luck. It's what brought us together."

@maribatmarch-2k21

#maribat #timari #timinette #marinette dupain-cheng #tim drake #MaribatMarch2021 #miraculous ladybug fic #my work

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americasass91 · 4 years ago

Text

Just a Negotiation

^chose this photo because arms🥵

This will most likely be my last submission for #shamelesshoesforchris. I’ve enjoyed this challenge SO much! Thank you @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817 for hosting such an awesome challenge! This is the longest fic I’ve written so far. I’m such a hoe for Steven Grant so he’s the star of this one. I hope you enjoy it!

Prompts:

“Can you just not right now?”

“I don’t deserve you”

Words: 6.8k

Rating: Explicit(I can’t seem to help myself)

Warnings: Smut, angst, reader not admitting feelings, Steve being Steve, language, unprotected sex, lil cockwarming

“Ah, fuck! Right there, Steve! Don’t stop!”

“Couldn’t stop if I wanted too, sweetheart.”

He grabs your hips and bounces you on him even faster. Planting his feet on the floor so he can meet your thrusts.

Usually he’s the one on top and you’re just along for the ride. But today he told you he wanted you to ride him. He didn’t have to tell you twice.

He’d already made you come twice with his fingers and mouth. So it’s no surprise that you can already feel yourself on the precipice of pleasure once again.

He leans back from sucking on your neck. “You gonna come for me,Y/N? I can feel you squeezing my cock.”

You moan in reply. You aren’t able to form any words at the moment. He’s hitting your g spot with every thrust. You tangle your hands in his hair and slam down on him hard one last time as your orgasm hits you like a freight train.

“Fuck, Y/N. Yes! Feels so good. You’re gonna make me come.”

His thrusts become even harder and faster than before. You know he’s close.

You lean forward and bite his earlobe as you clench down on him, “Come on, Captain. Fill me up. I want it.”

At your words he throws his head back and lets out a loud groan, coating your insides with his spend. His thrusts come to a stop as he rests his forehead against your chest, trying to catch his breath. You run your hands through his hair, your own breathing coming back to normal.

He brings his head up and leans in for a kiss. He pulls away and smiles. “So, same time next week?” He chuckles as he lifts you off of him and stands you up. “Sorry but I have a mission to get ready for. I think most of your clothes are in here, although I think your shirt is in the living room.”

“You and I both know we won’t last until next week, Rogers.” You start gathering your clothes, dressing as you go. You’d never admit it to him, but it always hurts your feelings a little bit when he kicks you out so quickly after your trysts.

Once he’s dressed in sweats and a too tight shirt, he comes over for a goodbye kiss. “That’s true, Y/N. You can’t resist all of this.” He gestures down his body with a chuckle.

You laugh at him. “Unless I have other plans.” You head out of his bedroom in search of your shirt. He follows you and leans against the doorway to his bedroom with his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face. “And what plans would that be?”

You finally locate your shirt and put it on. You head for your purse by the door. “I don’t know, but I could. My life doesn’t revolve around you, Rogers.”

You hear him chuckle. “Okay, tell that to my cock, sweetheart. You’ve been over here every night for the past 2 weeks. Not that I’m complaining.”

You turn around and face him. “I just wanted to create the illusion that I had a life. You know where to find me when you need a release.”

He gives you a smile that makes your knees feel weak. “That I do, Y/N. Have a good night.”

“Good luck on your mission!”

You wave and open his front door, glancing in the hall to make sure nobody is around. Once you realize the coast is clear, you close the door behind you and head back to your room.

You always hate this part. Your walk of shame. Some part of you always feels a little bit like a cheap whore. Although you agreed to this. So really you have nobody to blame but yourself.

See, you and Steve agreed awhile ago to become friends with benefits. It started with you complaining about going through a dry spell. He offered to help out. You know since he’s such a helpful kind of guy.

At first you declined his offer, stating you didn’t want to ruin your friendship. He understood and that was that.

Then a few nights later you had the worst date you had ever been on. You came back to the compound in a horrible mood. You’d really thought this date would’ve been a guarantee for sex. Then the guy turned out to be a total douche. You told him you had to ‘go to the bathroom’ and you made a beeline for the exit.

You stomped right up to Steve’s room and banged on his door.

He answered and looked confused to see you standing there. “Didn’t you have a date tonight? It’s not even 8:30. Is everything ok?”

You push your way inside and shut his door. “Listen, Rogers. I’m going to be real with you. The guy was a douche so I left early. So I was wonder-” He cuts you off. “He didn’t hurt you did he? Cause I’ll kill him if he did.”

You smile at his willingness to protect you. “No, Steve, he didn’t hurt me. He was just some self entitled, trust fund prick who thought the world revolved around him. I couldn’t stand another minute of him telling me how amazing he was. So I left and came straight here. I wanted to know if your offer still stood?”

His brows furrow. “You mean the offer about ending your dry spell? Yes, that offer still stands.”

You surge forward and crash your lips onto his. He reciprocates quickly and wraps his arms around your waist. After a few minutes of urgent kisses he pulls back. “Wait, wait. I just want you to know that I’m not interested in a relationship. With our line of work, I just don’t have time for one.”

You nod in understanding. “That’s great, Steve. But I’m trying to get some dick, not a relationship. And besides, this’ll only be a one time thing.”

That was the first lie you told yourself. At first it was only going to be a one time thing. But the sex turned out to be fucking phenomenal. So one time turned into two that turned into three and so on.

The next lie you told yourself was that you weren’t going to catch any feelings for him. Which you hadn’t for the first couple weeks into your negotiation. Then that all shot to hell. He’s Steve Rogers for goodness sake. How could you not fall for him?

Which leads you back to now. You know you should cut it off with him. But you can’t. You did a stupid thing and fell in love with him. And he’s let you know more than once he doesn’t have time for a relationship.

You finally reach your door and sigh in relief you didn’t run into anyone else. You and Steve have done a pretty good job at keeping this thing between you guys a secret. You plan to keep it that way.

You open your door and turn on the lights and just about jump out of your skin. Sitting on your couch is none other than your best friend, Nat. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!”

She stands and heads towards you. “Sorry, bug. Couldn’t resist scaring you. So, how’s Steve?”

You can feel the blush heating up your face. You turn and head towards your kitchen. “What? Nat, it’s 2 in the morning. Why would I know how Steve is? I was just working out some frustrations in the gym.” You grab 2 bottles of water out of the fridge and turn to toss her one.

She catches it and just gives you an amused look. “Oh come on, Y/N. I’m a trained assassin and spy. I know you guys are hooking up.” She twists the cap off her water and takes a sip.

“How did you find out?” There’s no use in denying it. You can’t lie to her. She knows you too well.

“Well besides the fact that you guys are always near each other and finding ways to touch each other? I walked to his room a few weeks ago to go over some paperwork with him and heard you guys. I gotta say, Steve has a dirty mouth on him.”

You groan as you head towards your couch. “Well we did a good job keeping it a secret up until now.”

She joins you on the couch. “How long has this been going on for exactly?”

You think for a minute. “About a year, give or take.”

She gapes at you. “You’ve been fucking Rogers for a year and I’m just now finding out about it? I mean is it just fucking? Are you guys in love? Why didn’t you tell me? What’s he like in bed? How big is it? I thought I was your best friend?”

You grab her shoulders and shake her a little. “Whoa calm down, Nat! First of all, yes. It’s just fucking. I didn’t tell you because Steve and I agreed to just keep it between us because we didn’t want to complicate things any further. And he’s the best I’ve ever had okay? His dick is amazing and has probably ruined me for all other guys. And you are my best friend. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Do you forgive me?” You give her the best puppy dog eyes you can muster at 2 am.

“Of course I forgive you, bug. But you didn’t answer all of my questions.” She smirks at you. You give her a confused look. She just rolls her eyes. “Are you guys in love?”

You look down at your hands in your lap. “I mean, I am. He’s not. He doesn't want a relationship right now.” You raise your head and look at your best friend. “But yes, I’m so in love with him it hurts. And if this is all I can have with him, then I’ll take it.”

She tilts her head to the side as if contemplating something. “Have you told him how you felt?”

You about spit the water you had in your mouth out before quickly swallowing it. “What? No! Of course I haven’t. He doesn’t love me. I’d just be setting myself up for failure.”

“How do you know that? How do you know he doesn’t feel the same? Maybe he’s scared to tell you. Come on! This is Steve we are talking about. Tell him! What’s the worst that could happen?”

You just stare at Nat in disbelief . “Um, he could hear me! And he would’ve told me by now. Right?”

Nat just shrugs her shoulders. “Not if he was afraid to tell you for the same reasons you’re afraid to tell him. Come on, Y/N. Yeah it might be hard to do but at least if you tell him you’ll know once and for all.”

She does have a point. If by some miracle he does feel the same then this could be the best thing that you ever do. If he doesn’t feel the same then at least you can cut ties and move on. You were tired of crying yourself to sleep at night over it. You look back at Nat. “Okay, I’m gonna do it. Tomorrow I’m gonna tell him and then I’ll know.”

She smiles and hugs you. “That’s great, Y/N. But it’s gonna have to wait until he gets back from the mission he’s going on tomorrow.” You furrow your brows. “Oh shit, that’s right. What kind of mission is it?”

“Just a simple undercover one. It’s just him and Sharon going. They have to pose as a married couple to try to get in good with some illegal drug smugglers. We think they’re involved with HYDRA. So they are going to check things out. Should be back in a week or so.”

“Won’t that be awkward with the two of them? I mean they dated for awhile.”

“It shouldn’t be, I mean they split on good terms. Promised to stay friends. I’m sure it’ll all work out fine. Besides it’ll give you plenty of time to work up the courage to tell him your feelings.” She smirks and stands to head towards the door.

You roll your eyes at her and bid her goodnight.

As she shuts the door behind her you can’t help but to think she’s right. It will take you the whole time he’s away for you to work up your courage.

It’s been 3 weeks since you’ve seen Steve. He came back from his mission today. You had psyched yourself up the whole time he was away.

That’s what led you to knocking on his door only hours after he got back. You hope you gave him enough time to debrief and shower the mission off.

Here goes nothing. You knock hesitantly.

The door swings open and Steve greets you with a smile. “Y/N! I didn’t expect to see you so soon but I’m glad you’re here. I need to talk to you.” He leans down to give you a hug and leads you inside.

“Really? That’s great cause I need to talk to you too.” You head to sit on his couch and look at him expectantly.

“You do? Okay then you go first.” He offers as he sits next to you.

“No, no. You go first. I insist.” You pat his hand, encouraging him to speak so you could hurry up and spill your guts to him.

“Okay, so something happened on the mission. Between Sharon and I. I think there’s still something between us. Nothing physical happened because I didn’t think that was right considering what you and I have going on. But I think we want to give it another shot.”

Your heart falls into your stomach. You do all you can to keep your smile. “Oh! Well that’s great news, Steve.”

“It is? I mean you’re not upset? I wanted to talk to you and put an end to this whole friends with benefits thing before I pursued anything with her.”

“Why would I be upset? Consider it ended. I mean it was just a negotiation between friends right? Thank you though, Steve. That was very considerate of you to talk to me about it first.”

He gives you his 100 watt smile. “Of course, Y/N. I mean I know we’ve been having sex but you’re my friend first and always. Unless you think there’s any reason I shouldn’t ask her out?”

He looks at you expectantly.

“Nope, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t. Who knows? Maybe this will lead to that happy ending you're always talking about.”

He looks just the slightest bit disappointed but the look is gone almost as fast as it appeared. “Okay, great. Now you said you had to talk to me? What’s up?”

Oh shit, you can’t tell him now. You quickly pull some excuse out of your ass. “Oh, um. I was just wondering if you’d spar with me? I’m getting a little lazy in my fighting and I think you could help me?”

“Of course. I’d be happy to. How about we start tomorrow? Say 8am?”

“Sure! Thanks, Steve. I gotta get going. Promised Nat I’d watch a movie with her. But hey, good luck with Sharon.”

You get up as quick as you can without it looking too suspicious. He stands up and walks you to the door. “Yeah, thanks. So I’ll see you in the morning?”

You open his front door and turn to look at him. “You bet!”

You shut the door behind you and high tail it to Nat’s room.

Just as you're about to knock, the door opens. Nat looks startled that you’re standing there. “Y/N, hey. I thought you’d be with Steve.”

You push her back inside and slam the door shut. “I was with Steve. And guess what, Nat? He ended things between us. He’s asking Sharon out again. Says he thinks there’s still something there.”

Nat pulls you into a hug. “Even after you told him how you felt? I’m going to kick his ass.” She pulls away and heads towards the door.

“Wait, Nat. No, I didn’t get the chance to tell him. After he told me he wanted to end things I couldn’t do it. He wants to be with her. I just want him to be happy. And if that doesn’t include me then so be it.” You’re doing your best to not cry.

She rolls her eyes. “Oh come on. Don’t cry on me now. I mean it’s not like they made it work the first time. I’ll give it 2 weeks before they break up. Then you can tell him how you feel!”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “You’re insane if you think I’m telling him anything now. And I’m not betting on his relationship to fail.”

She puts her hands on your shoulders. “Trust me, bug. In a few weeks this’ll all be over and you’ll be in his arms instead.” She winks at you.

“All right, Sharon and I have an announcement to make! We wanted you guys to be the first to know since you’re our family. We’re getting married!”

You were going to kill Nat. 6 months ago she told you this wouldn’t last. Now here you were in the middle of one of Tony’s extravagant parties, hearing Steve’s engagement announcement.

You could feel your heart shattering into pieces. Because of course you still loved him. Those feelings haven’t gone away. You blink back your tears as you hurriedly search the crowd for Nat. You find her and she’s already giving you an apologetic look.

You had to get out of there before the tears fell. You turn around and head towards the elevators as quick as you can. You need some air. You get in and turn in time to see Steve looking at you with confusion. The doors close before your tears fall. Thank god. You hated crying and especially in front of people. You push the button for the roof. You let yourself have a good cry until the doors open again, signaling your arrival.

You head over to the railing and look out at the grounds. You never should’ve agreed to that whole friends with benefits thing. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be in this mess.

You wipe your tears away on the back of your hand.

About 10 minutes pass before you hear the elevator doors open. “So this is where you ran off to.”

You whip your head around to meet Steve’s blue eyes. He walks toward you and leans on the railing next to you. “Why’d you take off? They brought out champagne to celebrate. I know how much you love champagne.”

You chance a glance at him, hoping it’s dark enough that he can’t tell you’ve been crying. “Yeah, I just needed some air. Sorry about that. Why did you follow me? Shouldn’t you be with your new fiancée?”

He smiles at that. “Yeah well you looked upset. I wanted to make sure you were okay. And she’s busy showing everyone her ring anyways. Probably doesn’t even realize I’m gone.”

You return his smile. “Well, I’m happy for you. If anyone deserves their happy ending, it’s you.”

He pulls you into a hug. “Really? You mean that?”

You pull away and step back. You can feel the tears coming again. “Of course I do, Steve. You’ve done so much. You deserve all the happiness you can find.”

“Thanks, Y/N. That really means a lot.”

You turn and look out at the grounds again. “So, have you guys set a date yet?”

He chuckles and turns to stare out at the grounds with you. “Actually yeah. We’re getting married in 2 weeks.”

You turn towards him with wide eyes. “Holy shit, Steve! 2 weeks! Are you crazy? What’s the rush? That’s a whole lot of planning in such a short amount of time.”

He looks at you and rubs the back of his neck. “I know. But Sharon wants to get married at the Plaza. The only date available anytime soon is in 2 weeks. It was either that or we had to wait 3 years for the next available date. I even pulled the Captain America card. That’s what got us the spot we have now.”

“Wow, well good luck with that.” You pat him on the shoulder.

“Actually I was wondering if you could help out? I’m going to ask everyone to pitch in. I know it’s a tall order but with everyone on board, I know we can make it work.”

“Of course. Whatever you need me to do. But I really have to pee so I think I’m gonna go.” You start heading back towards the elevator. “Just let me know what needs to be done!” You step inside the doors as soon as they open and push the button to make the doors close before he can follow.

You cry as you descend to your floor. You can’t believe Steve’s getting married. You should’ve just told him how you felt. Maybe he would’ve chosen you. You scoffed at yourself. ‘Yeah right. Chosen me over Sharon Carter. Get real. I’ll never be in her league.’ You think as the doors open.

You hurry to your door, not surprised to see Nat standing there.

“There you are! Are you okay?” She opens her arms and lets you fall into them. You cry on her shoulder. She rubs her hand up and down your back. “Come on, let’s get you inside. Nobody needs to see you like this.” You pull away from her and open your door with your key.

Once inside you let loose. “What the actual fuck, Nat! You gave it 2 weeks! Well guess what? They’re getting married in 2 weeks! Yeah! Apparently Sharon just has to get married at the Plaza and that was the only date available.”

“I’m sorry, bug. I really didn’t think they would last. Let alone get married. I really thought he loved you too!”

“Can you just not right now? We were both wrong. I admit I was also hoping it wouldn’t last long. But it’s done, it’s over. Can we just not talk about it anymore?” You had raised your voice, letting the tears continue to fall.

She just gives you a sympathetic look. “Sure, Y/N. Let’s talk about something else. Did you happen to see who Sam was getting all cozied up to?”

You smile and wipe your tears away yet again and engage in the gossip with your best friend. You give her a hug and apologize for yelling.

The next 2 weeks flew by.

You and Nat were currently on your way back to the compound from Sharon’s bachelorette party. She had invited all the girls so you decided it was a great opportunity to get drunk. Even Nat let loose and had too many.

You were in the elevator with her on the way to your floor. You were leaning on each other and laughing at god knows what. The doors open and you both stumble out. You manage to catch yourself on the wall but Nat falls to the ground.

“Oh, shhiiit, babe! You ok?” You slur as you attempt to pick her up. Thank god Sam and Steve choose this time to turn the corner.

“Nat! Dammit are you ok?” Sam asks as he helps her up. She leans against him and starts laughing. “Willssoon! I need to pee really bad. Take me to my room!” She points in the wrong direction. Sam turns to Steve. “I’ll take this one if you take that one?” He nods his head in your general direction. You’re still laughing at Nat falling down. Steve nods. “I got her.” He turns towards you as Sam navigates Nat to her room.

“Hey there, Y/N. You have a little too much to drink?” He asks as he goes to grab your waist. You flinch away at his touch and almost fall down in the process. “Don’t you have your ‘fiancée’ to take care of?”

Steve rolls his eyes at you. “She’s staying with a friend tonight. The wedding is tomorrow and we’re not supposed to see each other. Now let me help you get to your room please.”

He goes to grab for your waist again and this time you let him. All you want to do is sleep and you know he’ll get you to your bed faster. It takes him no time at all to help you to your door and again help you unlock it since you couldn’t seem to get the key in the lock. He leads you inside and sits you on the couch. “You need to drink some water and take some pain pills. You stay here and I’m going to go get those for you.”

“Thanks, Stevie. Always doing the right thing. Always choosing the right girlfriends. I knew that’d never be me.” You kick your heels off as best you can and wrap yourself in your blanket on the couch.

Steve comes back with the water and pills. “What do you mean it would never be you? What are you talking about?”

You snatch the pills out of his hand and swallow them down with the water he offered you. “I just knew I’d never be your girlfriend. Nat lied to me. She told me you felt the same about me. But I knew deep down you didn’t. Why would you? I’m just Y/N. You’re Steve! Handsome, amazing, funny Steve. And it doesn’t hurt that you’re the best I’ve ever and will ever have in bed. And you have a really nice penis.” You start giggling as you lay down. Sleep was starting to take over.

Steve crouches down and touches your cheek. “How do you feel about me, Y/N?”

You smile sadly at him. “Why I love you, Steve. But that doesn’t matter. You have Sharon. Your happy ending.” You close your eyes and feel yourself going under.

Steve sits back and stares at your now sleeping form. You love him. Did you mean it? He’d always heard from a drunk mind comes a sober heart.

He could feel his heart rate increase. What did this mean? You loved him? Why didn’t you ever tell him? Wait. Why was he worried about this? He was getting married tomorrow. He should be worried about the wedding going smoothly.

He shook his head and stood up to head back to his room. You couldn’t have meant it. You were drunk. You didn’t know what you were saying.

Those were the thoughts swimming around Steve’s mind as he tried to catch some sleep.

You wake up on your couch. ‘Huh, I don’t remember getting to my room last night’ You think as you grab your phone to check the time. It’s 11. The wedding starts at 1. Shit. If you were going to make it on time you needed to start getting ready. Did you even want to go?

Just then you hear a knock on your door. You throw your blanket off of you and go to see who it is.

You open your door to reveal Nat with 2 cups of coffee. “Here, thought you might need this. Do you feel as bad as I do?”

You take a sip of the coffee. “Actually, no. I feel fine. Although I don’t remember getting back to my room last night.”

“Oh, yeah. I ran into Sam in the kitchen. Steve helped you to your room. Sam helped me to mine. Apparently I fell down and you were laughing at me.”

You snort into your coffee. “Sorry. But that explains why I don’t feel bad. Steve always makes me drink water and take pain meds when I drink too much and I always wake up feeling ok.”

She glares at you. “At least he was nice enough to do that. Sam just dropped me inside my door and left. I woke up on the floor this morning. He thinks it’s hilarious. That’s ok, I’ll remember this the next time he gets shit faced. So you want me to pick you up at 12:30 and we can go together?”

“Actually I don’t think I’m going. I know it’s going to piss Steve off but I don’t think I can watch him get married. It’ll hurt too much.”

“Okay then I’m staying here with you.”

“No you’re not. You’re going. We don’t need Steve mad at both of us.”

“But you’re my best friend. Rogers will get over it. I want to be here for you.” She grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze.

“That’s really sweet but I’ll really be ok. How about you leave the reception early and sneak a bottle of champagne back and we’ll share it?” You smile at her.

“Okay deal. But I’m only going to stay until they cut the cake. I’ll bring you a piece along with the champagne.” She gives you a wink and heads toward the door. “I know that today is hard for you, bug. Just remember that I love you.”

You smile and blow her a kiss. “I love you too! Now go on and get ready before you’re late.”

As soon as she closes the door behind her you let the tears fall. You knew today would be hard. You just hope he’d eventually forgive you for missing his wedding.

You go take a shower and change into some pajama shorts and a shirt you’d stolen from Steve. Your heart was hurting and all you wanted to do was lay in bed.

You crawl under the covers and hope that sleep will claim you and give you some relief from the pain.

You’re startled awake by a pounding on your door. You glance at your clock and see that it’s 12:55. Nat. She must've decided to skip the wedding. You throw the covers off of you and hurry to the door.

“Nat, I told you to go to the wedding, I’m fine.” You say as you open the door. But it’s not Nat’s green eyes looking at you. It’s Steve’s blue ones. He’s standing there in his tux with the tie undone.

“Steve? Uh, pretty sure you’re getting married in like 5 minutes. What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in? I just called off my wedding so I’m pretty sure I have some angry people looking for me.”

Your eyes widen but you step aside to let him in. “Wait. Why did you call off your wedding?”

He turns around and puts his hands on his hips as he looks at you. “Did you mean what you said?”

You furrow your brows and cross your arms over your chest. “Mean what, Steve?”

“Last night. You don’t remember what you told me?”

You search through your brain for any recollection. “Um, no. Care to enlighten me?”

He takes a step toward you. “You told me you love me. I need to know if that’s true.”

Your eyes widen. God damn tequila. You knew you should’ve stopped after 4 shots.

“Well since it’s apparently out in the open, yes. It is true. Of course I love you.” You can feel your hands shaking. Nervous about what he’ll say.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I was going to! But then you told me you were going to ask out Sharon so I knew I didn’t stand a chance.”

He furrows his brows. “What? Why wouldn’t you?”

You turn away from him as you speak. “Because, she’s perfect. She’s beautiful, funny, a total sweetheart. She’d give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She’s considerate of others. I couldn’t compete with that.” You wrap your arms around yourself. You can once again feel tears welling up.

Steve walks up and turns you around to face him, placing his hands on your shoulders. “Yeah, you’re absolutely right, Y/N. She is all of those things and even more. But do you know what she’s not?” He brings his left hand and cups your cheek. “She’s not you.”

Your breath catches, your heart rate increases. “Wh-what? What are you saying Steve?”

He just smiles at you and pulls you closer. “I’m saying that it’s not her that I love. It’s you. It just took me awhile and your drunken confession to figure it out. I’m sorry it took me so long. I think I’ve always loved you.”

Now the tears are falling for a completely different reason. You reach up and thread your fingers through his hair. “God, you have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.”

He smiles and leans in and presses his lips to yours for a sweet kiss. You gladly reciprocate and smile into it.

Steve groans and pulls you flush up against him. One hand on your cheek, the other on your lower back.

You barely pull away, your lips still touching. “Steve, make love to me please.”

He pulls back a little more to look you in the eye. “Y/N, are you sure? That wasn’t my intention when I came here.”

You nod your head. “I know it wasn’t. But we’ve only ever fucked before. I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to make love instead. So please?” You give him your best puppy dog eyes.

He lightly chuckles before pulling you back in for another kiss, this one more urgent than the last.

You pull him as close to you as possible and start walking backwards towards your bed.

Once you feel your mattress hit the back of your knees you break the kiss for some much needed air.

You waste no time and start undoing the buttons of Steve’s dress shirt. He takes his jacket off and starts unbuckling his belt to help you along. You lift up on your tiptoes to steal another kiss once you get the shirt unbuttoned. You push it off his shoulders and run your hands down his muscular chest. You quickly unbutton his slacks and pull those along with his briefs down his toned legs until they are pooling at his ankles. He quickly kicks them and his shoes off. You take this opportunity and grab his hard, aching cock and start stroking him up and down.

He groans and pushes you away and grabs the hem of his your shirt and gives you a look. “Are you sure you want to do this, Y/N? I’m willing to wait.”

You shake your head continuing your slow strokes. “That’s nice and very noble of you, Steve, but I’m not.”

He shakes his head with a smile and pulls the shirt over your head and drops it into the growing pile of clothes. He pushes you down on the bed and climbs on top of you, stopping once he gets to your exposed breasts. He looks up at you as he takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting lightly. That’s all it takes to get you to start squirming under him. He takes his right hand and moves it between your bodies until it’s settled at your clothed core. He starts rubbing your slit, your wetness soaking through your shorts and onto his hand. “Steve, please, no teasing. Just need to feel you.”

He grunts and sits back on his haunches and gazes down at you. “So goddamn beautiful. I don’t deserve you.” He hooks his fingers into your shorts and pulls them down and off your legs, tossing them somewhere behind him.

“I could say the same about you, handsome.”

He smiles down at you and gives his cock a few languid strokes before moving back over you, leaning in for another heated kiss. He rubs his tip over your soaked slit, making sure to get nice and coated. “You ready, sweetheart? Ready for me to fill you up?”

You whine and mewl underneath him. “Yes, Steve, please.” You buck your hips and rub up against his cock causing the both of you to let out a moan. Steve pushes the head of his cock against your heat and slowly pushes in. You whimper at the stretch and pull him down for a kiss. He grabs your right hand and places it beside your head, intertwining your fingers as he bottoms out inside of you.

You throw your head back and moan his name, feeling so nice and full. He takes his right hand and cups your cheek, making you look at him. “Are you ready for me to move, sweetheart?” You can only nod as you roll your hips against his, needing some friction.

He pulls out slowly until just his tip remains before slowly gliding back in. He keeps up his leisurely pace, making you feel every drag of his cock against your walls. You wrap one leg around his hip, making him go even deeper. You plant your other foot on the bed and meet his thrusts. “That’s it, sweetheart. Pull me in deeper. You like feeling me stretch you out? Like me filling you up over and over?”

You moan out and grip his hand tighter. “Yes, Steve! Please. Harder. Need it harder.”

He happily fills your request and starts thrusting into you with more force, causing your body to move up the bed. You remove the hand that was tangled in his hair and place it on the headboard above you, keeping yourself from hitting it. “Fuck, Steve. Yes! Please don’t stop!”

He starts kissing up your neck, his thrusts never faltering. “I’m not gonna stop until you fall apart underneath me, Y/N.”

You shiver at his words. You can feel the coil in your belly threatening to snap at any moment. He leans down so his mouth is next to your ear. “I can feel you squeezing me, pretty girl. You gonna come for me? Come on, Y/N. Come all over my cock.”

You shake your head and move so you lock eyes with him. “No, don’t wanna come. Feels too good. I want it to last.” He just smiles and leans in for a kiss before pulling away to look into your eyes again. “Come on, Y/N. Wanna feel you come. Please?”

You moan at his begging. You can feel your legs shaking from holding back. You just want to last a little longer.

He moves his mouth back down to your ear. “I’ve got you, sweet girl. Come for me. I love you so much, Y/N.”

That was your undoing. The coil snaps and you come apart. A tear escapes at the intense orgasm and from Steve’s words.

Steve only lasts a few more thrusts before he pushes his face into the crook of your neck and comes with your name on his lips. His body gives out and he falls on top of you, careful not to put all of his weight on you.

He smiles into your neck and places a sweet kiss there. You sigh in pure happiness and run your fingers through his hair. You both stay like that for a few minutes with him still buried deep inside you, enjoying the intimate moment too much to move.

He lifts his head and gazes down at you with a big smile on his face. “That was amazing. The best sex we’ve ever had.” You nod in agreement. “It really was. We’re gonna need to do that again.” You giggle as he playfully rolls his eyes at you. “You’re insatiable.” You shake your head. “No, I’m in love.” He smiles and pulls you in for another kiss.

Suddenly a thought pops into your head and you pull away. “What if I would’ve said no?” He gives you a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“What if I didn’t love you? What if I had just been drunk and was saying stupid things?”

He just shrugs his shoulders. “I guess I was just really hoping you meant it.”

“You called off your wedding on hope?”

He shakes his head. “No, I called off my wedding because I realized that Sharon wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted you.”

You feel tears well up in your eyes again. “I love you so much, Steve.”

He leans down for another kiss. “I love you, too. You’re more than just a negotiation to me, Y/N. I hope you know that.”

You nod your head and cup his cheek. “I know that now.”

He tucks some hair behind your ear and whispers, “You’re my happy ending, Y/N.”

The tears fall at his admission and you pull him down for another perfect kiss. Glad to finally be wrapped in the arms of your love.

#shamelesshoesforchris #steve rogers #steve rogers smut #captain america #chris evans smut #chris evans #smut #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers x reader #Cici91 writes

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shebeafancyflapjack · 3 years ago

Text

Little Blue Eyes

A brief follow-up to this. Eleanor visits Michael during his reforming.

She had to hand it to Jason. If anyone had told her that it was possible to break a Janet out of Hell and get her away from an army of demons using just a Molotov, a single demon exploder gun, and a bag of weed, she’d have been very sceptical. But somehow he managed to bring their not-a-girl home, riding back in that hand-cart, grinning away as if he’d gone to a Jaguars game with her.

That was one problem dealt with. Now only a billion others to sort out.

As overjoyed as she’d been to see Janet back, safe and sound, she hadn’t been looking forward to reliving the most awful night of the year by explaining to her why their tall, dandy dressed demon wasn’t at her side, or hadn’t gone to save her.

It was easier to hand her the note that Michael had wrote (or possibly snapped into being after she slammed the door as she was sure even he couldn’t write that fast) before he’d pulled the trigger on himself.

I’m sorry.

I don’t want you to be worrying about how I might betray you or let you down again. If I’m locked up, you’re just going to worry that I’ve escaped. Just leave me in a tank on the other side of the map, or in Janet’s void if you bring her back, or just leave me in the Bad Place. If anything I just wanna ask that you make sure I’m all in there as I’d rather not come back shorter. Also if you can make sure no dogs are around to lap me up, I’d appreciate it.

I only ever wanted to save you all. I��m sorry I did nothing but screw up. I understand if you don’t want me back in the group after I’m back to normal. Please just get Janet back safe, even if it does mean going to the Judge. And give my best to Chidi when he wakes up.

I wasn’t lying about one thing; I really do love you all so much. I’m sorry it could never be enough.

Michael.

Reading the goo-stained letter with shaking hands, she’d struggled not to burst into tears of anger or throw up. Standing in the middle of the empty room, her friend dripping all around her, she’d wanted to scream at him for this being his best attempt to make things up to her - to forking leave her! To take the cowards way out.

Being angry was so much easier than accepting the guilt of what she had said to him before that moment. Of questioning if she had gone too far...if she’d just taken a moment to listen to him...Usually the dude had trouble shutting the fork up but that night, all he’d done is stand there and take everything she threw at him...until there was nothing left standing. Literally.

If she’d had any idea he would do something so reckless and stupid then of course she would never have said...

But you did know. You knew exactly what he was prepared to do to help you, if it’s what you said you needed. What you wanted.

She never wanted this, she admits to herself, barely a couple months later.

Running this experiment basically single-handed was...not overly difficult. In fact, she was pretty confident in saying they were doing okay, considering the circumstances.

But it still sucked. She was alone. Again.

Obviously there was no way she was going to have Michael’s goo abandoned in some random, isolated location. She was mad at the guy but she wasn’t a monster...so she told herself. At the same time, she couldn’t give up the role he’d thrusted upon her by suddenly taking up the role of nurse-maid, as hot as she might have looked in the uniform. He’d chosen to do this so she could work without distractions. Without a liability.

“He sacrificed himself to save me. We’re on our own now. Let’s make it count.”

Just get the fork on with things, same as before. No point in looking back.

Tahani is the one who volunteers. She’s able to separate herself from the other humans without causing too much suspicion, claiming the need for a private getaway up in the hills, deep in the valley, a hidden fancy lodge by a stream, surrounded by peaceful deer and mountains. Definitely not Eleanor’s scene, anything involving the wilderness or even resembling camping.

By the time Eleanor sees her off on a private car Derek conjured up, Michael’s goo already reached its first form. The blind, helpless demon larva showed no signs of awareness of his surroundings, curling up as small as possible, malleable as Tahani swaddled him in her fluffiest blanket. Eleanor was almost impressed at how quickly the sexy giraffe had overcome being grossed out at the slimy, squidgy creature, able to look almost maternal as she carried him into the car. And she made sure to say as much.

Tahani’s heavy hearted response would stick with Eleanor for the next few weeks; “I didn’t reassure him when he asked us if we could ever be friends with a gross monster. Best I can do is show him how much we truly care.”

Ouch. Way to kick her in the girl-nads.

“You sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’ve helped out in multiple animal sanctuaries and used to fly out to work with deprived children with my dear friend Angelina...But this is definitely new territory for me.” She’d said as she looked over the larva demon, making the tiniest cooing noise in his sleep (or what they assumed was sleep). “I’ll try my best.”

That was all any of them could do. She’d contemplated attempting to speak to the larva Michael in her arms. What could she possibly say? Could he even understand her?

She was still angry. And yet it was difficult to connect the anger towards the one who abandoned her to the pathetic looking being in the blanket. Best to save all those harsh words on the tip of her tongue for when he was back to being tall and slappable.

Is he really the one you want to slap?

The question comes back to haunt her more frequently each night that follows, whenever she thinks back on that night, or wonders how the two of them are doing. She and Tahani send letters often via the birds who are happy to act as messengers. They just have to be careful none of the humans intercept them. She lets her gorgeous friend know how the experiment is going and Tahani offers her tips on how to improve John, in particular. Every time she goes to write ‘how is Michael?’ she erases it, chest tightening. Tahani tells her anything important.

The slug monster form that follows the larva is a lot more challenging, she reports. He’s now the size of a Tibetan huskie and just as hungry.

I just let him roam the fields and eat what he can find. Sometimes I have to pull him in on a leash if he doesn’t tire himself out, otherwise I worry he’ll slither off in the night. I try to talk to him but he just grunts or roars at me until I tell him off. I was a little worried he might try to eat me but I found playing music - 80′s classics, mostly - calms him down and makes him rather docile. I don’t think he knows quite who I am or remembers anything. Perhaps it’s like when Janet is rebooted? He may need time to restore his memories, as she did.

Oh, darn, I must finish - he’s in the rose bush again!

Sometimes the image of her prim socialite friend trying to restrain a two-hundred-pound slug monster is so hilarious she can’t help but laugh. Other times she feels more guilt tugging at her soul to go lend a hand.

Is Michael really little more than an animal, in his head, right now? She’s hardly proved herself the best at pet care, though it sounded like Michael overeating was the least of their worries. It pained her to imagine what his head must be going through right now. Is he scared? Confused? Lost? Does he have any emotions other than the instinct to feed?

Does he still blame himself? Does he miss her as much as she...?

The more she sits in that chair in the office, the smaller she feels. It doesn’t belong to her; she’s merely filling it in while he’s gone. She has lunch in silence, remembering the jokes they used to share, the games of trying to aim food in the others mouth across the desk. She remembers him snapping a margarita for her when he knew she needed it most. She remembers his hand on her shoulder. She remembers him finding her at her lowest point, when everyone else had doubted her, turned their backs.

She remembers him, always there. And now she’s lost him.

Was wanting him gone over a stupid lie really worth all of this?

When Jason returns with Janet, on the same day she’s hesitating whether to jump on the nearest unicorn and head towards the mountains, she takes it as a sign. She has no excuse to stay away now - not with Janet back to watch over things, though she’ll probably be paying Michael a visit soon too.

She rides up on the train Janet conjures for her, saving her from trying to figure out how to ride a unicorn without breaking her neck. Something tells her she might have more luck at taming a slug monster than her British friend, not that she has any experience, just a few encounters with the grosser men in Arizona. Besides, it was Michael, at the end of the day. Their Michael.

The same Michael willing to sacrifice himself to help a bunch of cockroaches.

It’s such an idyllic landscape she arrives at. A total holiday card photo, without the snow. Nothing but grass and trees for miles before a backdrop of purple mountains. She looks around, seeing the evidence of devoured flower gardens and broken fences. At least the solid, oak cabin by the stream stood in tact, smoke billowing from the chimney.

Eleanor is so focused on keeping her eyes peeled for a rampaging slug monster that she almost fails to spot the little person sat on the front step of the veranda.

She frowns. That has to be the whitest child she’s ever laid eyes on. Granted most kids growing up in Phoenix were smothered in fake tan before they were three by their moms, but this is something else. The kid has long white hair, half-plaited, down to the shoulders of the cream dress she’s wearing. Her skin is so pale it’s nearly translucent. Fork, is she looking at an actual ghost?

Wait...She’s a ghost. That really shouldn’t freak her out.

There’s just something so eerie about the little girl, from her sickly appearance to how weirdly quiet she is for...However old she is. Six? Seven? Thirteen? Eleanor really knows nothing about kids, just that they’re usually much louder than this one, sat alone, playing with a set of shining...

Oh.

“Michael?”

The kid looks away from the chain of a paperclips they were linking, gazing up at Eleanor on the gravel path. As soon as she sees their eyes, she has her answer. Even without a pair of glasses, she’d recognise those sparkling blue eyes anywhere. It’s only then that she remembers the third form.

Spooky little girl.

Though far less spooky than she imagined. More...sad.

Despite her surprise, she tries to smile, not knowing how badly she needed to see those eyes look at her again after this past month.

“Hey, buddy. How’re you feeling?” She starts to approach.

The kid drops the paperclips and jumps up to their feet, beginning to tremble terribly, eyes wide as saucers.

Eleanor stops. Is he afraid? Of her?

“Michael? D’you remember me? It’s Eleanor, dude..”

“‘Hani!” The child cries turning and running inside the cabin. Fork, she knew was bad with kids, but shirt! Eleanor rushes in to follow, unable to hold back.

She enters the cosily furnished cabin to see the pale girl run up to the leg of the six foot beauty standing at the stove and cling to her skirt for dear life.

Tahani looks over from the pot of spaghetti, face fearful at first before lighting up when she spots her friend stood in the foyer.

“Eleanor! What a lovely surprise.” She beams, turning the stove off; “I’m so glad you decided to visit.”

“Wow...You’re kinda rocking the whole rustic single mom look here, babe.” Eleanor says, looking around the place, everything making her feel so warm and comforted from the open fireplace to the heavy air of recently baked bread.

Tahani looks down to her charge hanging onto her dress, reaching down to pick the little fingers off carefully.

“Well, it was rather nice to have a project to myself, and Derek was surprisingly helpful. Everything else I acquired myself, having learned to survive in the wild from a well known ‘Bear’ friend of mine.” She holds the kid’s hands and bends down to their eye level; “Michael, sweetheart, look who’s come to visit. Remember Eleanor?”

The demon child whimpers, throwing their arms around Tahani’s neck and hiding in her luscious dark hair.

Eleanor bites her lip; “He’s a lot more shy than the slug monster, I take it.”

“Oh, I don’t understand. They were fine with Jason this morning, they were playing video games for hours - he and Janet teleported over briefly to check in on us. So glad they got back safe.”

So Jason gets a teleport but she takes the train? The first time she’s not an immortal being’s favorite to spoil.

Eleanor shuffles her feet, trying not to feel wounded at how terrified her friend currently is of her, when apparently there was no issue with Jason. But then, Jason makes it difficult for anyone to dislike him. Eleanor makes it an open invitation.

The kid whispers something to Tahani that causes the woman to pick them up.

“Oh, darling, don’t be silly.” She responds, rubbing their back; “That was just a nightmare.”

“Nightmare?” Eleanor asks. Is she the stuff of nightmares?

Tahani eventually convinces the pale kid to go back outside to continue playing while she catches up with Eleanor.

Questions Tahani has about the experiment and the subjects get quickly brushed aside. Eleanor is unable to focus on anything but the image of Michael’s eyes looking at her with so much fear. When Tahani hands her a fresh cup of cofffee, she wants to stick her hand in it, just to scold herself for the sake of it.

“He’s having nightmares? I mean...she’s having...” Eleanor frowns.

“I find it easier to use ‘they/them’, which Michael seems to prefer as well, currently.” Tahani explains; “Most of the time, they’re a calm, affectionate child. Such a welcome change from the beast I was putting up with a fortnight ago, as much as they grew on me. It’s just at night, while their brain is still reforming and all these memories are flooding back...It can be rather distressing. Trust me, it’s heart-breaking just to see them crying and screaming...”

She can’t imagine that recalling centuries of brutally torturing innocents along with the knowledge of why that was wrong is easy for anyone, least of all in the form of a small girl, creepy or not.

“Honestly, the creepiest I’ve encountered so far is them levitating at the end of my bed - and that’s usually when they’re just looking for a cuddle.”

Eleanor smiles a little, Michael never was the best at being a truly ‘frightening’ demon.

“And I’m in these nightmares?”

Tahani sighs; “I suppose the memories of their last night are mixed up with everything else. They just...were worried you were here to say something mean or...you wanted them gone.”

Fork-sake.

“I never wanted this, Tahani. I never wanted him to...Shirt, I didn’t even think he could, but...” She struggles to hold back tears; “I shouldn’t have come. I’ve just made him...Them more upset. Fork knows what I’d be in for if I stayed for the Teenage Boy phase. He’d probably set my hair on fire as payback.”

Bratty Michael in his fully grown form had been enough to handle. A hormonal one with amnesia was a whole other level.

“Eleanor. Just go talk to them.” Tahani presses; “This whole distancing thing you two are doing to deal with your falling out is dangerous. You’re not going to fix anything by staying away from them. As I kept telling my good friend Courtney when she had a row with my other friends, Lisa and Jennifer - you just need to communicate!”

“Babe, they’re afraid to even be alone with me.” She’s the monster under the bed now. All because she took one sin he committed to heart and forgot about all the good he’d done for her that outweighed it.

“Then stay, there’s plenty of room. Even if it means we swap and you stay here and I return to help with the experiment. Either way, this needs to be sorted out. I don’t believe demons are supposed to be this upset during their growth...You could help with that.”

Can she? She’s not the nurturing type, like her hot friend. She melted her own doll in the microwave as a kid. And she unwittingly talked her own demon bestie into exploding himself.

Tahani’s hand squeezing her wrist gives her some strength.

“...Okay. I’ll try.” she meets her eyes; “Is Michael the only one allowed to snuggle in bed with you when they’re scared?”

Ten minutes later, she goes to find the creepy girl outside, this time sat among the flowers, being far more gentle with them than her previous slug form was.

Eleanor approaches slowly.

“Michael? Buddy?”

The kid gasps, standing up again and flinching back. Eleanor raises her palm.

“Please don’t run away. I promise I won’t hurt you...and I won’t be mad.” She says, soft as she can manage, getting down to the ground; “And I’m not gonna make you go away anywhere. I just wanna chat...That ok?”

Michael doesn’t look too convinced, glancing over at the cabin. Looking for the one constant they’ve had, who’s been here for them, caring for them. Where Eleanor should have been, at least sometimes.

Okay. Time for the trump card.

“I got you something. Tahani said you have trouble sleeping. I thought maybe this guy could help?” She produces the minion toy from behind her back.

Michael’s eyes sparkle and he instantly reaches out to take it.

“So ugly!” They cheer, hugging it to their front.

Eleanor chuckles. Still so easily impressed.

“Can’t argue there...Also, I picked up those paperclips of yours. Did you know you can do this with them?” She holds up the chain;��“Gimmie your wrist a minute.”

Michael frowns, hiding behind the toy a little.

“I won’t bite, dude. Kids are way too gross to eat. You’re too stringy and bony.” She wrinkles her nose.

They blink at her before slowly holding out their wrist. Eleanor takes the paperclips and links them around Michael’s arm, forming a bracelet.

The child gasps, clearly thinking they’ve seen it for the first time; “Holy motherforking shirtballs.”

“Damn, you kiss Tahani with that mouth?” That must have been another residue memory tucked away.

Michael sneers; “Kissing is gross.”

“It’s pretty weird if you think about it, yeah.” She concedes, glad they’re at least talking, as much conversation as she can have with a billion year old immortal that’s lost their mind as they regrow in the body of a haunting little girl; “...What about hugs? You like them, right?”

The kid nods, eagerly.

“...Maybe I could have one, someday? If we can be friends? I’d like that...” More than they could know right now. More than anything else, even having Chidi remember her. This...This is just as painful, because she can’t be sure if this is fixable.

Eleanor crosses her legs as she sits, facing her friend.

“I’m so sorry, Michael. I know...you don’t understand that right now but...I’m sorry for why you’re scared of me...I wouldn’t ever wanna hurt you. Please believe me.”

Trust me? God, she’s such a hypocrite.

The kid eyes her, up and down, before turning to the flowers. They bend down, picking a few up into a small bouquet of daisies. Michael turns and hands it out to her.

“Oh...Uhh....Thanks...” Eleanor reaches for them.

Michael’s blue eyes flash red. The flowers burst into flames.

“Forking shirt!” Eleanor jumps.

And still the kid holds them out; “Pretty, right?”

A heartfelt laugh tumbles out of her; “...I can tell Jason’s been here.” Or maybe that was part of her friend’s demon nature. Either way, it was adorable. “Thank you, Michael.” she says, taking the flaming daisies. “You know...if you want, I could show you how to make chains out of these? We could make a crown for Tahani?”

“And ones for me and you?” Michael asks, hopeful.

Eleanor’s lip quivers, a sudden lump in her throat. She reaches out to run her palm over her friend’s white hair, soft as it’s always been; “Yeah...Me and you too, bud.”

#rose says she can't fix things #then immediately writes something to fix it #as weird as this is #like borderline crack fic #but still works within the canon #fluffy angst #hellstrop brotp fic #michael x tahani sistp #genderfluid michael #hints of future cottagecore teleanor? we'll see

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slapshot-to-the-heart · 4 years ago

Text

When We Went From Friends to This - a. beauvillier

One day late, but here it is! I’ve been studying for the LSAT, but finally took it today, so I’ll have some more time to be writing more regularly now. Title is from Taylor Swift’s Paper Rings. I loved getting to write this, so please please let me know what you think, my inbox is always open! Reading the tags is one of my favorite things to do, and reblogs help me know people are liking my work.

word count: 7.7k+

September 18 (sat)

Astride Leclair was the kind of person you always wanted on your side. She’d drop anything for a friend, always be the first to reach out, and would never give up on something — or someone — without a fight. She was also incredibly stubborn. Astride had also always had a penchant for adventure, which is how she found herself in a new job 600 miles and one international border from her hometown. And she hated asking for help, it really didn’t matter the circumstance. Which is how she found herself alone, trying to heft an armchair up the stairs of her new apartment building after being very rudely informed by the width of the elevator door that it wasn’t going to fit.

The lump sum her firm gave her for relocation was enough to cover a fair amount of the furniture for her new place and she tried to bring as much as she could on the drive down, but it wasn’t like she was about to rent a U-Haul and there was only so much a Honda Civic could hold. And Astride was still her father’s daughter, still would rather step on a rusty nail than pay Ikea for assembly, so by God she was going to do it herself. And “doing it herself” apparently meant dragging an 80 pound box up three flights of stairs in 90º heat in September, when New York City seemed to have not quite yet gotten the memo that the rest of the Northern Hemisphere was now in fall.

Astride finally managed to get the chair in the door, propping the door open with one of her moving boxes, unceremoniously pulling the box through the entryway as she scooted backwards into the living room. The 600 square foot expanse of her apartment was covered in boxes, more boxes, and for good measure, extra boxes. There were moving boxes, furniture boxes, shoeboxes filled with anything except for actual shoes. There was her guitar leaning against the microwave, three suitcases worth of clothes in the barely-assembled bedroom, and her dog in a crate in the corner, who had started to whine.

“I know, baby, I’ll get you out soon,” Astride said, shooting a sympathetic glance towards the beagle mix. She had adopted Poutine a little over a year ago, soon after starting her first job out of university. It was never a question whether or not she would make the trip with Astride, and thankfully it was much easier than she anticipated to find a dog-friendly apartment in Brooklyn. It wasn’t too long a walk to Prospect Park, a little under a mile, and she was looking forward to getting out with Poutine later in the day. If, that was, she actually finished unpacking enough boxes to function like a normal human being. She had picked up her mattress-in-a-box earlier in the day, but it was still sitting in the corner of her bedroom and she wasn’t particularly looking forward to a night on the hardwood floor.

---

Three hours later, Astride had finally gotten all of the boxes out of her car and began to make decent headway on assembling the chair, finally having let Poutine out of her crate. The beagle trotted around the apartment, sniffing the baseboards, boxes, and single bag of groceries Astride had picked up from Whole Foods earlier in the day. The rest of her Ikea order was coming the next day, the actual bedframe and couch along with a couple of other larger furniture pieces that she had had to leave in Montréal. Whatever she couldn’t order online she’d find at a thrift store.

Astride looked tiredly over at the kitchen. She really wasn’t in the mood to cook, and was in even less of a mood to dig through all the boxes until she finally found her set of pots and pans. She really should have taken her mom’s advice and labeled everything, but Astride was stubborn as a mule, and once she was stuck in her ways, there was precious little anyone could do to convince her otherwise. Pulling out her phone, she navigated to her Uber Eats, feeling a tiny pang in her heart as she switched her location to New York. Not the language, though. Astride was so hungry that she literally clicked on whatever place could get there the fastest, which ended up being a Chinese place a mile or so away. After placing her order — she got an extra box of chow mein so she wouldn’t have to deal with breakfast the next day — she settled back into the hair, the only fully-assembled piece of furniture in the whole apartment. Her finger hovered over her Instagram for a moment before she clicked on it, liking a few photos before going to post one of her own. It was a picture of the Brooklyn Bridge as she crossed it that morning, Poutine’s head lolling out the front window. One tap and one caption later, it was posted.

---

Anthony flopped onto his bed, his duffel landing with a satisfying thump on the floor beside him. Training camp had just ended, and while he’d certainly been keeping up on his workouts over the summer, the hours upon hours of skating had nevertheless made him more than a little sore. He grabbed his phone, opening up Instagram and scrolling through the new posts, only half paying attention. Astride’s new photo caught his eye.

Sometimes, needing a change means a new haircut. Sometimes, it means a new country. Very excited to start this next chapter in my life. Salut, New York! Anthony quickly clicked onto her profile page and read her bio. International economics analyst. Eating my way through the world one pancake at a time. BCom McGill. MTL-NYC. He read the last line over and over again. MTL-NYC. He swiped back to the photo; she had tagged herself in Brooklyn. Brooklyn. She was less than an hour away, not even thirty if the traffic wasn’t bad. But she hadn’t told him, she hadn’t said anything. Anthony felt a pang in his heart. Astride knew who he played for — obviously — and she knew that of course he’d want to see her any time they were even remotely in the same place. She knew that. Right?

He spent the next twenty minutes typing out a message to her. Then deleting it. Then retyping it. Then continuing the type-delete-retype cycle until his head was spinning. This was his best friend. Why was he so nervous to talk to her? Because she was his best friend, and as much as he hated to admit it, he really wasn’t sure where they stood. He hadn’t been sure for a long time. Hey Asty! He internally cringed at himself at the use of her old nickname. I saw you moved to New York, that’s amazing! I’m over on Long Island, so I’d love to catch up with you for coffee or something when you get a chance. It’s been too long :)

It might have been a little petty — scratch that, it definitely was petty — but Astride didn’t respond to his text that night. She didn’t have read receipts on, thank God, but it sat in her messages, without response, like something she was too scared to confront. And she didn’t even know why. Okay, fine, she knew exactly why. She had moved and suddenly they were in the same city for the first time since they were kids and he was, had been, her best friend, but why now of all times? It’s not like he was never in Montréal during the year, or like they couldn’t have committed to a weekly FaceTime or something, or at least texted more than once a month. He could have done something. And that something, that lack of a something, was what kept her from responding until the next morning, tapping out a text as she halfheartedly made her way through a bowl of oatmeal. Hi, Tito, just saw your text! Lie. I did, an opportunity for a transfer came up and I decided to take it. I figured you were pretty close by, so it would be great to catch up. I don’t start at the office for a week, if you’re free any time between now and then. That much was true. She wasn’t stupid, she knew the Islanders played on, well, Long Island, and as much as she wanted to still hold a grudge against him, her heart ached at the prospect of finally being able to see him again.

Anthony responded almost instantly, Astride having just closed the door to the dishwasher — a luxury in New York, she was told — before seeing her phone light up with the telltale bubble. I’d love to, we just finished up training camp so I’m more or less free aside from practices. A second later. Is brunch still your favorite meal?

Astride laughed. It didn’t surprise her that he remembered, but it was still touching to see him say something about it. It is.

How about Tuesday? I’ll send you the directions. It’s this little café in Flatbush, I think you’ll love it.

I’m counting on it.

September 26 (sun)

Brunch had turned into dinner, which had turned into going to a Broadway show — Anthony had insisted the moment she told him she’d never been — which had turned into him coming over for Saturday night movies, an old habit of the pair’s from their days back in Québec. Which had turned into two movies and two bottles of wine, which had turned into Tito sleeping over on the couch instead of driving the thirty-odd minutes back to his apartment. Poutine sniffed him curiously, nudging one hand with her head. Astride stifled a giggle, opening the door to the balcony. “He’s very sleepy, Poutine. It’s not good manners to wake up your guests.”

“Even when they fall asleep on your couch and steal all your blankets?” Anthony said sleepily from behind.

Astride wheeled around, greeted by a half-awake Anthony Beauvillier, who was indeed bundled in all of the blankets she owned that weren’t actively on her bed. “Tito! Oh my God, you scared me. How’d you sleep?”

He shrugged. “Not bad, about as well as can be expected.” He tapped his phone, cursing when he realized it was dead. “Do you know what time it is?”

She glanced down at her watch. “8:52, why?”

Anthony jumped up, throwing his shirt back on and grabbing his still-dead phone. “I’m supposed to meet Mat for breakfast at 9:30, and the place is,” he paused for a moment, running through the grid system in his head, “probably half an hour away? I’m never the late one, can’t break that streak now.”

“Gotcha.”

He grabbed his keys, looking back at her. “Why don’t you come? You’re already dressed, and you remember Mat, right?”

She wiggled her hand. “Kind of?” She crossed the room, letting Poutine back in. “You only want me for my charged phone and navigation system.”

“You got me,” he said, laughing.

---

“You named your dog Poutine?” Mat snickered, taking a bite of his eggs.

“Would you rather I named him Tim Horton?” Astride deadpanned. “He’s a good Canadian boy with a good Canadian mom. He needed a good Canadian name.”

Mat raised his coffee mug, tilting it over towards her. “Touché.”

Anthony waved his hand in front of Mat’s face, trying to catch his attention from where he was utterly preoccupied with destroying his sourdough toast. “Hey, Mat.”

“Mmm?” He glanced up.

“Did you know that Astride lives right by Barclays? Like, right by Barclays?”

His eyebrows rose. “No way?” Astride nodded. “That’s a great area, would have been awesome if you were here a couple of years ago. Short walk to the games.”

“That’s what I told her yesterday,” Tito responded.

---

“You’re kidding,” Anthony said, looking up at her building, then across the street to Barclays, then back to Astride, one hand tangling through his hair. “We used to play right across from here.”

Astride laughed. “I thought about that,” she said. “You know I still watched your games, right? Even after we fell out of touch?” Anthony shook his head. “You were still someone I cared about, are still someone I care about, even when we only talked a few times a year.”

Beau stood there, unable to formulate a complete sentence. As far as he knew, the last Islanders game she watched had been the 2016 opener, his NHL debut and her first year at McGill. Why did he assume that? Why did he assume the worst? You can care about people even when they’re not in your life anymore. And sometimes, if you get really, really lucky, they come back.

October 9 (sat)

“Ebs is having a barbeque thing over at his house this weekend, just stuff to celebrate the beginning of the season if you wanted to come. No pressure if you’ve got plans already, though,” Anthony said over the FaceTime.

Astride nodded enthusiastically. “That sounds great, I’d love to come! Just let me know when to show up and what to bring, and I’ll be there.”

It was almost a fifty-minute drive for Astride from her apartment in Prospect Heights to the house in Garden City, but there wasn’t too much traffic and besides, she had always liked driving. So she set off in her Civic, plugged her music in, and headed down 495. Anthony met her outside of the house, greeting her with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek as he cocked his head towards the backyard. “Party’s this way. Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Astride dutifully followed, trying not to let her nerves take hold of her. Everyone might have already been Beau’s friends, but she didn’t know them, or the dynamic of everyone’s relationships, or really, what to expect at all.

He noticed her apprehension, stopping her with a feather-light touch on her arm just before walking through the back gate. “Hey, Asty. What is it?”

She let out a little huff, still upset that he could read her like a book even after all this time. “I’m just worried that I’ll feel like I’m intruding on everything, like everyone already has their friends and a group and everything, and here comes some random Québécoise who’s a friend of Tito’s—”

He laughed, turning her around to face him. “Astride, they’re going to love you. As long as you’re the hilarious, witty, caring person I know you are, they’re going to love you as much as I do, and you’re going to fit in just fine. Do you trust me?”

She gave a tiny nod. “Yeah.”

He smiled, squeezing her hand. “Good, now come back, everyone’s waiting.”

They walked through the gate, greeted by a crowd of smiling faces as Anthony brought her around to everyone to make their rounds. There was Anders, he was the captain, and his wife. There was Jordan and Lauren, and she already knew Mat, and JGP — who was excited to have another person to speak French to — and a dozen or so others, along with their respective partners and children. Anthony had gone over to talk to Mat and some of the other players, while Astride had wandered over to the drinks table. Some of the other women were chatting nearby; one of them caught Astride’s eye and waved her over to join them.

“Beau didn’t tell us he was bringing anyone!” one of the women said, pulling her over to the group with a bright smile and handing her a glass of sangria.

“Mhm,” she replied, taking a sip of the drink. “I’m new to the city, obviously, so I think he wanted me to have some people I know outside of just work.”

They all nodded. “How long have you two been together, though?” another asked. “I didn’t even know he was seeing anyone, did you?” She looked around at the others, who shook their heads as Astride’s eyes bulged.

“Together? No, no, we’re not together. We’ve been best friends for ages, but,” she shook her head.

“Could have fooled me,” Lauren said with the smallest of winks.

Astride suddenly became very interested in the floating berries in her sangria. She looked over at Anthony, who was throwing his head back, laughing at something one of the rookies had said, and smiled. But Lauren’s words kept lingering in the back of her mind. Could have fooled me. Okay, it wasn’t like it was the first time they had been mistaken for a couple; whenever she’d make the trip up to Shawingan to visit him when he was in the QMJHL, more than once she’d have to explain to his teammates that no, she wasn’t Beau’s girlfriend, they were just best friends who had known each other forever. Just best friends.

Astride had always equated her lingering feelings for Anthony to the nostalgia of a childhood crush, the safety and security that came with remembering something from a time that seemed so simple and so easy. But childhood crushes didn’t last for ten years. And that wasn’t something she hadn’t wanted to come to terms with, something she’d been putting off for years if she was being honest with herself.

“You didn’t tell me Astride was coming,” Mat commented, seeing her mid-laugh in conversation with the other girls.

Anthony nodded. “Yeah. She didn’t have any plans for the weekend and I thought it would be nice to introduce her to everyone. I remember how shitty it felt to be in a new city away from your family, don’t want her to be lonely. Plus, I genuinely think she’ll fit in great with everyone.”

Mat hummed his agreement. “She’s changed since Switzerland, don’t you think?” he asked appreciatively, referring to over five years ago, the last time he had seen her in person.

“Don’t even think about it,” Beau mumbled to Mat, seeing his eyebrows go so far up they were hidden in his hairline.

“I see a hot girl, I appreciate a hot girl,” Mat shrugged. “But don’t worry, I won’t try anything. I know she’s off-limits.”

The rest of the afternoon passed quicker than she would have thought, and after a few hours and more good conversations, it was time for Astride to leave. “Have a safe drive back,” Anthony said, giving her a hug.

“I will,” she responded.

He opened the driver’s side door for her. “I’m really glad you came, you know. Everyone liked you, you fit in great.”

“It wasn’t all me,” she said, sliding into the seat, turning her head to Anthony to continue the conversation. “Everyone really did seem to go out of their way to make me feel included, I think they understood the feeling of moving to a whole new place without a big support system and wanted to do what they could to help mitigate that for me.” Astride consciously left out Lauren’s little comment, four words that had been bouncing around in her head for hours since they had been said. He didn’t need to know. She didn’t need him to know, it could confuse him and complicate things when they were just getting back into the rhythm of friendship, of being each other’s person.

Anthony tapped his fingers on the car door. “I’m glad.”

“Me too.”

Beau went to sleep that night, Mat’s words bouncing around in his head. “I know she’s off-limits.” It’s not like Cass was his sister or something, someone who would inherently be barred from his best friend’s dating pool. But Mat seemed to know right away, without having ever been told, that she wasn’t someone he could ever even consider pursuing. Why? And what did Mat seem to know that he didn’t?

November 12 (fri)

It was early November, and Anthony and Astride had just settled down at a table in Prospect Park, coffee cups warming their hands through the late fall chill. “How do you feel about last night?” Astride asked teasingly. He had a three point game, two goals and an assist in a 4-1 win over the Canes, so there really wasn’t any question that he was still riding on the high.

Beau rolled his eyes. “Good, obviously. It would have been nice to get a hat trick, but I know that’s asking for a lot and I didn’t want to tempt fate too much. They made a really good push late in the second.”

“But you won,” she said, poking his shoulder with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around her mocha.

“But we won,” he agreed. He suddenly got quiet, the kind of quiet where, if you know the person well enough, you can tell that something’s up. That they’re thinking of something. And Astride was right. “Do you ever think about Switzerland?” he asked.

Astride looked at him from the side, knowing right away that he wasn’t asking about the country. “All the time,” she admitted.

---

It was the spring of 2015, and they were in Lucerne. By they, Astride meant her, Tito, and the rest of the 2015 Canadian U18 World Cup team. And by in Lucerne, she meant crowded into someone’s hotel room with no adult supervision. Anthony wasn’t sure where any of the coaching staff had gone, but if he was being honest, he was riding on way too big of a high to even care. They had clinched the bronze medal earlier that day, celebrating with the family and friends who had made the trip out, gotten dinner, and then packed into the first team room they came to. Well, technically, Astride, Tito, and Mat had made a stop at the grocery store before meeting everyone else back in the room. The drinking age in Switzerland was 16 for everything but spirits, and everyone was planning on taking full advantage of that. The cashier gave them a look as she took her and Anthony’s French licenses and Mat’s English one, but the charge went through just fine, and fifteen minutes later they were walking back through the doorway with three cases of beer and a few bottles of sparkling wine for good measure. Astride had never been so grateful to have her own checking account.

“You ever drink before?” Mat asked her as they opened the cases.

Astride shrugged. “Not really. A glass of wine every now and again back home with my parents, but nothing too crazy.”

He held out a bottle for her, fishing around in his pocket for the bottle opener they had picked up at the store. “Have fun.”

And have fun Astride did. She had finished off two of the beers, and one of the younger teammates — she didn’t remember who — had popped open the wine. In his slightly inebriated state, it took longer than it should have to twist off the muselet, which then led to foam all over the floor and fifteen sixteen and seventeen-year-olds running to the bathroom to grab towels to try and mop it up with. And then running back to the bathroom to get the water glasses because they needed something to drink it out of, right? And then to everyone else’s rooms because they quickly realized that two cups definitely wasn’t enough to go around, and then everyone was back in the room, on the beds and around the beds, finally letting themselves celebrate. Astride was just finishing her glass when Mat spoke. “Anyone up for never have I ever?” Nobody said otherwise, so two minutes later, they were all arranged in what could very generously be called a circle, fresh drinks in hand. After a solid five minutes of repeating the rules — there was always at least one person who seemed to genuinely struggle with the idea that you drank if you had done the thing, not if you hadn’t — they were slowly but surely making their way around the circle.

Questions ranged from the mundane — “Never have I ever gotten detention” — to the raunchy — “Never have I ever had my parents walk in on me” — neither of which Astride or Tito drank to.

By the time it was Mat’s turn, he had had plenty of time to think, looking around the group with a conspiratorial grin. “What is it?” Tito asked skeptically.

He shrugged. “Never have I ever...kissed anyone in the circle.” As expected, nobody drank, but apparently that wasn’t expected, not for Mat, at least. He looked between Anthony and Astride incredulously. “Seriously? You two have never kissed?”

Anthony shook his head. “Nope.”

“How? You’ve been friends for, like, a million years, not even when you were little or anything?” he asked.

“Never,” Astride said. “Kind of hard to kiss your best friend when you haven’t kissed anyone before.” She barely even realized that everyone was still listening in.

“You’ve never kissed anyone?” Anthony asked, surprised.

Astride looked down at her hands, sipping her beer. “Nope.” She gave him a brief smile. “I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but no. Just hasn’t happened yet.”

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, or maybe it was feelings buried so deeply in Anthony’s mind that he didn’t think would ever see the light of day, let alone have to be confronted, that made him say what he did next. “I could—if you wanted—you don’t have to, but—” he stammered.

Astride laughed, looking at him curiously. “What is it, Tito? You’re not normally one to stumble over your words like that.”

He picked at his fingernails, an old nervous tick from his childhood that his mother was never quite able to get him to break, keenly aware that the whole room had decided to listen into their conversation. “I was just trying to say...I could do it, if you want. Kiss you, I mean. If you just wanted to get it over with, or whatever. I just figured. You know me, you trust me, you’re comfortable with me. Better that than some idiot at school who doesn’t care about you.”

Her cheeks burned as she looked over at him, but even though it took her nearly a minute to respond, she had her answer after five seconds. “Why not?” Astride flashed him the purest, gentlest smile, the kind that let him know just how much she cared about him and how deeply she trusted him. And the look on her face meant the world to him.

Anthony leaned in, his hand coming up to rest on her shoulder, his fingertips just barely touching her cheek as their foreheads leant together. “You sure about this?” He needed her to be sure.

She nodded. “I’ve had a couple of drinks, and I never imagined my first kiss would be in front of an audience,” she paused to giggle at the rest of the team, who were giving the scene their full attention in a way that somehow wasn’t uncomfortable at all, just wholesome and supportive, “but yeah. I’m sure.”

That was all the permission Anthony needed to lean forward, pressing his lips against hers, in a kiss that was soft and sweet and somehow everything Astride needed all in one. He pulled back after a moment, a goofy smile on his face. “How was it?”

Astride couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Good, it was really good, Tito. Thank you for that.”

“What are friends for?”

---

“Friends are for kissing each other, apparently,” Astride giggled, leaning into Anthony on his couch.

He laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over her arm. “Did you ever think something was going to happen between us?” Anthony asked curiously.

Astride shrugged. “At some point, yeah. I think it was kind of hard not to, with our parents and literally everyone we spent time with saying we were destined to fall in love.” She looked down at her hands, trying not to give away the fact that at one point, she had believed them.

November 30 (tues)

“Do you want to come over Friday?” Anthony asked, sprawled out across her couch on one of his rare nights off. He had made the drive over to Astride’s apartment, cooking salmon and roasting vegetables while she took the much more daunting task of picking what to watch on Netflix. She settled on Back to the Future. “I can order in Thai, I know we’re trying to work our way through the Mission Impossibles.”

Astride grimaced. “I actually...kind of have a date Friday night,” she admitted.

Anthony made a hum of surprise. “You do?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t act so shocked, Tito. There are men in this city of nine million who want to take me out.”

He sputtered. “It’s not that that shocks me, Asty. You’d have men lining up around the block for you if you’d give any of them a second glance. It’s just that. You never seem to bother actually going after any of them. What made this one different?”

“I mean, honestly hour?” Astride said, shrugging.

“Honestly hour.”

“I haven’t been on a date since I left Montréal, you know that. It had been a few months there too. And I’ve loved hanging out with you more, getting to know Mat and the team and everyone’s partners, but...I needed something different, too. Something that felt like a part of my life that wasn’t directly connected to the team. Which, don’t get me wrong,” she added hastily, “I love them, and it’s been so nice to be a part of that group, I just…” Astride trailed off.

“You can’t let that be the only part of your life. I get it,” Anthony added helpfully.

“Yeah,” Astride agreed. “So enter Cole. He works in a different division of the IE department, I’m obviously Europe and he’s Asia, mostly does work with Taiwan and Singapore. Um,” she said, her eyes turning towards the ceiling, “he seems really nice, did international business at UPenn, which is a great program. Speaks fluent Mandarin, uh, I think he mentioned he’s got a few fish at home.”

Anthony snorted. “What’s wrong with fish?” Astride asked defensively.

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong with fish,” he said. “Just seems like an odd choice. Maybe his building doesn’t allow pets or something.”

“Maybe,” Astride responded. “I wouldn’t know, he lives in Manhattan, over in Tribeca. Bikes to work.”

Tito laughed again. “I don’t trust people who bike to work in New York City, Asty. They have zero regard for their own lives or safety.”

She giggled. “That might be true. But I’m looking forward to it, the date, I mean. I really am. It’s been a while since I’ve really put myself back out there, and I’m ready for something good. Something real.”

He gave a half-smile from his side of the couch. “I’m happy for you, Astride. I hope you have a great time, and I hope he treats you right. If he doesn’t, just let him know that you can sic an entire professional hockey team on him with a single phone call.”

“I will,” she said. “I’ll call you when it’s over, tell you how it went.” ��

I’ll be waiting,” he said.

Anthony thought back on the conversation as he sat on the corner of his bed that night, about to go to sleep. He turned his phone over and over in his hands, his eyes fixating on the chip in the crown molding that he hadn’t gotten around to fixing yet. He wasn’t lying to Astride when he said he was happy for her. He was, of course he was, who wouldn’t want their best friend to be happy? But while he wanted nothing more, nothing more, than to be able to give his full-throated support for her date, and the potential the future held for her and this Cole guy, he couldn’t do it. There was something stopping him. And the worst part of it all was that Anthony was starting to realize what it was.

---

Astride had said that their dinner reservation was at 7, some brasserie in the West Village. “That’s a French thing, right?” Cole had asked.

“It is,” Astride responded, gearing up for her translation skills to be used for the first time in months. She spoke almost exclusively French around Tito, and with JGP and Brassard, but the majority of her day was spent in English. Cole said that the restaurant had come highly recommended from one of his Wall Street friends, something that should have been the first red flag.

“Never trust the finance bros,” Reese, a German specialist and one of her friends at the office, had said. “They all think they’re God’s gift to mankind when I can guarantee you they ain’t shit.”

She had said it was at 7, so Anthony wasn’t expecting to hear from her until much later; honestly, he would have been surprised if she had called before 10. He tried not to think about what it could mean if she didn’t call at all that night. She had said it was at 7, so when he heard a knock at his door at half past nine, he practically jumped out of his skin before scrambling to open the door. His eyebrows rose when he saw Astride on the other side of the door, then his face contorted into a look of sympathy as he saw the sad smile on her lips, her jacket slung over one arm.

“Can I come in?” she asked. He nodded without question, holding the door while stepping out of the way. He padded to the kitchen, bringing out a bottle of Moscato and two glasses. Astride smiled gratefully at him as he uncorked the bottle and poured. He knew that she couldn’t do red wine when she was upset, and she was upset.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked tentatively.

Astride shrugged, sipping the wine. “Not much to tell other than it was probably the worst first date I’ve ever been on.”

That piqued Anthony’s interest. He’d never be happy that she was upset, but something told him the story wasn’t quite that simple. “What about it was so bad?”

“Where do I begin?” she sighed. “He was on time, but that’s pretty much the only thing Cole did right the entire night. He was rude to the waitress when we had to wait all of ten minutes until our reservation was ready, because the couple ahead had gone long. Then he ordered the most expensive bottle of red wine they had, without even asking me to see what I wanted. He really just was trying to show off that he could afford it. And it was a Sangiovese, and you know I hate dry wines, so I was just trying to choke the whole thing down. And then he insisted on ordering for me, which is probably the most chauvinistic thing I could think of, I mean, who does that anymore?” she asked incredulously.

Tito shrugged. It was disrespectful, absolutely, but more than that, it was just weird. If women have mouths that work, then they’re more than capable of doing something as simple as ordering their own food.

“And he kept trying to pour me more wine after the first glass, even when I told him a million times I was good.” Anthony’s grip on his glass tightened. Astride rubbed her temples with her free hand. “He just kept going on and on about work, and this big promotion he’s insisting he’s going to get even though I know for a fact that they want Maria for it. I could barely get a word in edgewise. That’s when I just decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I faked that Jean-Claude was calling, grabbed my jacket, and caught a cab over here.” She looked up at him, the same disappointed expression she had worn when he opened the door. “I was really hoping this one would pan out, Tito.”

He felt an ache in his heart. He may have been less than thrilled about the prospect of Astride going out on a date, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less to see her so despondent. He leaned over, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen loose. “I know, Asty. And I’m sorry it didn’t.”

December 13 (mon)

Anthony and Mat were the last ones in the locker room after a morning practice. “I found this new place nearby last week that’s got great smoothie bowls, want to get one after you finish packing your stuff?” Anthony asked, looking over at Mat.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure, Sounds good,” Mat nodded, half-listening.

Anthony glanced over at him, a weird look on his face. “You good, dude? You sound distracted.”

Mat spoke abruptly, looking over at Tito with a laser-focused expression. “How long have you been in love with Astride?”

Anthony’s eyebrows jumped a foot. “In love with Astride? Why would you think that?”

Mat gave him a look, the kind of look that let Anthony know he was dead serious about what he was saying, and more than that, that he believed it. “Tito, I’m dumb, but I’m not stupid.”

Anthony leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “It’s that obvious?”

“Yep,” Mat said, popping the p.

“Do you think she knows?” His voice had dropped to barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know,” Mat said, shrugging. “I don’t think so, she doesn’t seem like the type of person to really be able to know about something as big as that and not address it. Doesn’t like to keep things bottled up, it’s not really her style.”

Anthony nodded. “It’s not.” He raked one hand through his haid, his head still leaning on the other one. “God. How do you tell your best friend you’re in love with her?”

Mat put one hand on Beau’s back, comforting him as best he could. “I don’t know, Tito. I wish I could help. What I do know,” he said, “is that you’re going to have to eventually. Because it’s going to tear you up if you don’t.”

December 18 (sat)

Astride tossed one final empty can into the garbage bag. “I think that’s it,” she said, giving his living room a cursory look. What had looked like a warzone only less than an hour before now more closely resembled the somewhat-messy but perfectly respectable bachelor pad of a man in his 20s, like it should have. With the holidays approaching, Anthony had decided to take it into his own hands to host a party — alongside Astride, who he had practically begged for help — intent on showcasing his newly-acquired skills by playing bartender the whole night. He was surprisingly capable, Astride had thought, if her Sazerac was anything to go by.

He smiled at her. “Thanks, Asty. And thanks for staying and helping clean everything up, you really didn’t have to.”

She tied the bag off and set it by the door with the other one. “I wanted to. And besides, I’m staying over,” she said, looking over at Anthony, “so what did you think I was going to do? Lock myself in the guest room while you cleaned up the whole apartment by yourself? What kind of a woman do you take me for?” she asked in mock offense.

Anthony laughed, sitting down on the couch with a satisfying thump, pulling Astride into his side when she settled next to him.

“I’m so glad we got back in contact,” she said, muffled against the fabric of his hoodie. “I’m so glad we’re friends again.”

He felt guilty; more than that, he knew that the guilt, at least some of it, was deserved. “I should have done more,” he lamented. “I should have done more to keep in contact, more to show you I cared, more so you’d know that your friendship is one of the things I value most in my life.”

Astride gave a small smile. “It’s a two-way street, Tito. Sure, I won’t lie and say that you really put all that much effort into keeping in contact. You didn’t.” He winced, she shot him a sympathetic look. “I love you, but you know me. I don’t mince my words. But I definitely could have done more than text you congratulations or leave a thirty-second voicemail on your birthday. We both could have done more. We both should have done more,” she said, correcting herself. “What do you think happened, though? Where did we go wrong?” As much as she might have hated it, Astride was that kind of person. She went through every bad decision in her life with a fine-toothed comb, needing to know what went wrong, needing to know what she could have done differently.

“I think,” he began, “that it was just so easy to get distracted from ‘back home’ things. From our friendship, from my relationships with my family. From the important things, the things that I should have made an effort to prioritize even when the season got hectic and games got hard. And I’m not trying to make excuses,” he added quickly, “but there was just something about where I was, physically and mentally. I was 19, a rookie in one of the biggest cities in the world, and I think I just lost sight of things. Between the practices and games and going out and community events and trying to get in more than five hours of sleep a night, it was a lot,” he admitted. “It was stressful, probably weighed on me more than I wanted to admit. And I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I’m well aware I was — and am — living a life thousands of kids would kill for, but there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes that you don’t really understand unless you’ve been through it. I don’t have many regrets from my rookie season, or really many in my career so far. Don’t regret moving for minors, don’t regret going to the Isles, don’t regret any of the contracts I’ve signed or plays I’ve made. Well,” he smirked, “maybe a few. But the one big one? The only real regret I’ve had? Letting you go.”

Astride swallowed hard, choosing her next words carefully. “What do you mean, letting me go?”

Anthony let out a hard sigh. He’d put it off for long enough. He couldn’t do it any longer. “Never telling you how I feel.”

“How you feel?” Her voice had dropped to a whisper, her fingers tangling in the fringe of the fleece blanket that was slung over the couch cushions.

“Like I love you so much my heart could burst.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “How long have you known?”

He looked at her with a soft smile. “Ever since Switzerland.”

“Six years?”

“Six years.” He reached out slowly, so slowly, pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear when she didn’t move back. They sat in silence for a moment, and when Anthony spoke again, his voice wavered. “Asty? Say something.”

Astride’s lifted her head, finally meeting his eyes. “I knew since I was 15.”

His face split into a grin, wider and wider until she was sure she’d never seen a bigger smile. “You did? You do?”

She nodded, leaning forward so their foreheads were touching. She put her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat fluttering butterfly-fast underneath her fingertips. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since I knew what love was, Tito.”

He pushed forward, pressing his lips against hers for the first time since 2015, the first time since Switzerland. It was gentle and meaningful and somehow communicated all of the love and emotion that had been built up between the two of them in the past six years. Anthony pulled back after a minute, his lips pink and slightly puffy. “Tell me where your head’s at, Astride.”

“Is it too cliché to just say that this might be the happiest I’ve been in years?”

He shook his head, smiling. “Not at all.” But there was something that she wasn’t quite letting go of. “What is it, Astride?”

Astride sniffed. “I want this. You and I, I want it so mad it hurts. I just hate the idea that we’d turn into some sort of cliché. Childhood friends who grow up and fall in love, but something goes wrong and they split up and suddenly the dynamic of everything is messed up and I don’t want that, Tito. I don’t know if I could deal with you hating me because of how things ended.”

“But things don’t have to end, Asty. Every broken heart, every date where some asshole has stood you up has led you to know that you deserve more. You deserve so much more, Astride, you deserve the sun and the moon and someone who would hang them in the sky for you. It doesn’t have to end in heartbreak. It doesn’t have to end at all.”

Astride had always been someone who was cautious, someone who thought before she acted and never spoke without thinking through every possible outcome. But this was one of the times that she couldn’t do that, one of the times when, as much as she may have hated it, she needed to take a leap of faith. And so she did. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Anthony asked, his voice lifting.

She nodded, the happiness on her face unmistakable. “Okay.”

And as Astride and Anthony FaceTimed her parents to break the news, her mom slapping her dad’s shoulder, claiming that she had “called it” back in 2014, Astride was filled with a sense of undeniable, irreplaceable joy. The kind of joy that the poets write about and artists put brush to canvas trying to depict, the kind that most people go their whole lives only hoping to get a glimpse of. The kind that made Astride more certain of one thing than she had perhaps been in her entire life. It didn’t have to end in heartbreak. And this one didn’t have to end at all.

And as they stood two years later in a little church in their hometown, promising in front of their family and friends and the entire New York Islanders to love each other for the rest of their lives, Astride finally believed it.

#anthony beauvillier #hockey smut #hockey writing #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl smut #nhl writing #new york islanders

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frenchbread-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Unexpected Reunion| {Enji Todoroki/Endeavor}

@unfaithfulmemories: Hi, I see that you are taking requests. Could I ask for an Endeavor x male reader Pro-hero that started dating Enji during their UA years but then Enji ghosted the reader and after a few years the reader decides to go on a dating app and reconnects with Enji without knowing it's him and it ends with a passionate night? Maybe a time skip where they are married and the reader adopts the Todoroki kids under his name

I MOVED ACCOUNTS

I’m so happy that you asked me to write about endeavor since he’s literally one of my favs

The story’s ending might be a bit eh but I’m proud of the overall story so I hope you still like it😊😊

Pairing: Endeavor x Male!Reader

Words: 3.6k

Warnings: mentions of abuse, implied NSFW

Requests: Closed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Hawks suggested that he should consider meeting someone after being single for an admittedly long amount of time, Enji promptly shut the smaller man down. Between trying to maintain his duties as the #1 Hero and fixing the rift he caused within his family, he had no time to even think of trying to enter the dating scene.

The #2 Hero still tried to convince him until He said how Endeavor was a quote: “Lonely old man who needed to get some.”

After that, the larger man snapped, glaring at the winged hero. Flames growing larger in anger as he growled out how “his love life was none of Hawks’ business” and then stomped out of the room.

But now there he was The Endeavor, sitting in his bedroom after his shift, on his phone staring at the dating app sign up screen, blushing. Cursing himself for acting so childish he finally started filling out his information into the required boxes.

It started off easy enough just the usual information:

Name: Enji Todoroki

Username: Endeavor#1

Gender, email, number, and password.

Though it was the last question that made him pause.

Sexual preference

It should be obvious, he liked women, but even having said that his finger still hovered over the screen. It didn’t feel right. He thought of his previous relationships, which was admittedly a small amount to remember, and.. Nothing.

He had felt no attraction to the people he had been with previously, even thinking of a woman’s body did nothing for him if anything, he felt the opposite of how he thought he should. But there was that one time in UA where he experimented, he dated another man it was only for a little while, about 2 months. He couldn’t remember his name but he could clearly remember those (e/c) eyes and how they made him feel. He felt heat prickle the top of his ears and spread down to the back of his neck.

He swallowed thickly and idled there for a few more moments staring at the screen before he took a deep breath and pressed the male option and pressed sign up before he could change his mind.

Now all that’s left is setting up his profile.

Description, he thought for a moment before typing:

“Looking for a romantic relationship with someone who can be independent and not a pushover.”

Now for photos.. how do you take decent photos?

He went through other profiles to see what kind of photos he should take.

The most common ones were selfies and.. shirtless mirror pictures. It’s ridiculous and he should delete the damn app and curse Hawks for giving him the idea in the first place.

But here he was, standing in his bathroom in front of the large mirror with his hero costume on flexing for the camera, the next few photos were of him with his flames turned off and without a shirt, and the last pictures were of him in a suit that hugged his body in all of the right places and showed off his muscles through the stretched fabric around his arms, chest, and thighs.

He stared at the photos he took and deleted the worst ones, being left with about 4 photos.

“Good enough.” He muttered as he uploaded them to his profile

now all that's left is to explore potential candidates worthy of being in a relationship with him.

Over the next few days not one person on the app piqued his interest in the slightest, and the ones who were brave enough to message him first were disregarded, they weren’t of any interest or not worthy of being spared even a second of his time.

He sighed as he shut off his phone and flopped onto his bed, dissatisfied and disappointed by his lack of success. He drifted off to sleep hoping to have more success.

He did not have more success. The men he met up with were either easily intimidated and had no backbone or were able to stand their ground and look him in the eye but immediately made their sleazy intentions clear, which is not what he was looking for and it clearly states in his description what the type of relationship he is interested in.

It wasn’t until a few more days passed he got a notification from the app as he walked out of his agency saying he was matched with another person, he grumbled and prepared to swipe it away but the name caught his eye, it seemed familiar but where had he seen it before?

He didn’t get a chance to think about it when he received a message.

“OMG Enji it’s actually you!!”

Such casual use of his first name threw him off, and another ping alerted a new message.

“It’s me (Y/N) we dated in back in high school!!”

That’s why the name sounded so familiar, it was you the male he dated in high school.

He stared at his phone for a moment, all he had to do was respond with something kind.

“Yes I remember you being a thorn in my side”

‘Why am I like this?’ he thought

“Is that why you were an asshole and radio silent on me?”

He blushed, oh right, he was so obsessed with becoming number one that he cut all ties with anyone he deemed useless at helping him achieve his place at the top.

Thinking about it, that wasn’t one of his best choices.

“I apologize for my actions in the past I hope you can forgive my childish behavior, you have every right to be angry with me”

“I was kidding you dummy but if you really want to make it up to me you could look up from your phone screen.”

His brow arched in confusion at the message, look up why would he- oh.

He didn’t know what to do, you were standing there smirking, the sight making heat spread across his cheeks, you were stunning.

You had changed a lot since he had seen you at UA, your muscles are larger and more defined, scars littered your arms ranging from small light scars to large dark ones, gained from years of working with machines and different kinds of equipment no doubt.

You raised a brow “So are you just gonna stand there checking me out or are you going to take me out on a date?”

He jolted and cleared his throat, “I apologize, you surprised me, I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.”

You sighed “You’re still as stiff as you were back in high school, we need to do something about that.”

What did you mean by that? He wouldn’t have to wait long to find out, as you fished a pen out of your pocket, grabbed his hand and scribbled something on the palm of his hand.

“Here’s my number call me later.” You winked before walking off.

He was stunned, you were just a normal guy who asked him to call you, so why was his heart pounding in his chest, palms sweaty, and an extreme heat covering his face that had nothing to do with his quirk?

After he composed himself Enji took his phone out and added your contact, now he had to wait until later that day to contact you.

------------------

After the encounter, the few hours that remained in his shift that day seemed to drag on forever. He was antsy to end the day, only a few more minutes, all he had to do was finish his reports then he could change and go home. That was easier said than done but he managed.

------------------

When he made it to his room he immediately whipped out his phone fumbling with it before opening a conversation with you.

“Hello, it’s Enji”

Not even a minute later you replied

“Hey! You ready to take me out?”

You were so direct and straight to the point, it was amazing.

“Yes, where shall I meet you?”

You sent him the location and time.

“8:30 Don’t be late ;)”

It was 6:00 so he had time to prepare, but as he sat there staring at his messages he couldn’t help a smile from creeping onto his face.

“So who were you talking to that’s making you smile at your phone?” The soft voice of his daughter made him jolt, smile immediately slipping from his features.

“N-nothing!” He yelled

She chuckled and prepared to leave the room, but before she could leave the doorway, Enji called out for her.

He blushed “W-wait! Actually, I-I need your.. help with something”

She turned to see a flushed Endeavor staring at his feet.

“I need your help looking for something to wear for a d-date”

She was taken aback, him going on a date, it was.. unexpected to say the least, but she couldn’t help the warm smile from tugging at her lips. He’s finally doing something positive and trying to move past the negativity.

Fuyumi sighed “Ok I’ll help”

He looked up to her grateful and gave a silent thanks, now he had to get ready to meet you near the train station and start the date.

------------------

Which is where he found himself wearing one of his casual button-down shirts and form-fitting jeans. ‘I hope this is good enough’ he thought, glancing at his appearance as he waited for you to show up.

It was now around 30 minutes after you were supposed to be there, Enji now tapping his foot in impatience, nervousness now replaced with annoyance. Grumbling “How dare he make me wait this long” under his breath.

He whipped his phone out about to send you a message when he heard. “Hey! Sorry, I’m late!” Your voice sounding sheepish. He huffed “You better have a good explanation as for why you kept me waiting” he stared at you expectantly.

You chuckled and said, “Well I simply lost track of time”

“Now let’s get going we’re wasting daylight” taking his wrist you started dragging him off to your destination.

------------------

The two of you walked for about 10 minutes before you stopped. “This place is amazing, I come here in the morning to get my coffee”

You gestured to a small cafe before walking in. “A lot of heroes usually come by here, it’s very lowkey and they give heroes a discount!”

he glanced around the interior taking note of the small number of people present.

After the two of you ordered you found a booth to sit and began to talk, well, you did most of the talking. You didn’t chat about anything in particular just catching up about what happened after high school. This went on for about an hour after that Enji slowly started to open up, talking more and eventually, he began smiling and laughing with you.

But sadly the date had to end eventually, that left you with Enji walking you home. You couldn’t help but notice from the corner of your eye that Enji was glancing at your hand more than usual, so you took initiative and took his hand in yours. In response, he stiffened up his face flushing, and grip a bit too tight you couldn’t help but tease him.

You looked up at him, winked, and brought his hand up to your lips and left a gentle peck on the back of his hand. Enji’s face burned as the two of you walked the rest of your way to your apartment, hands still Intertwined.

------------------

Walking up to your apartment you and Enji look at each other.

You sigh “So I guess this is my stop”

Enji offered a small nod in response and awkwardly opened his arms for a hug.

Chuckling you accepted his embrace, soaking up his body heat hug lasting longer than usual. After about a minute you pull away from the hug your arms still around his torso, look at Enji and smile, a real smile and not one of your cocky ones “This was the best date I’ve had in a while, thanks”

Enji blushed “I had a great time as well and I hope we can do this again soon”

But as he said that he couldn’t stop staring at your lips you were so close and they looked so enticing, so he took a deep breath, steeled his nerves and took a chance and leaned in connecting your lips with a gentle kiss.

You weren’t expecting Enji to kiss you, so you froze for just a moment before kissing back, his lips were a bit chapped and it was obvious that he hasn’t done this in a while but to you it was great.

The kiss was innocent enough but as the kiss kept going it began to escalate. You felt something soft and warm press against your bottom lip you parted your lips and welcomed his tongue that entered your mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, pressing up against his solid chest he responded by grabbing your waist and doing the same.

He had you pressed against the door panting when you heard it, the laughter you looked around him to see your nosey neighbor's kid was messing around at the park that was direct across from your apartment. You didn’t want your neighbor budding into your love life because her kid saw you kissing a stranger so you pulled away from Enji and pulled out your key to unlock the door.

The two of you barely closed the door before Enji was attacking your lips again. Not wasting a moment the two of you stumbled to your bedroom, a mix of heated moans, clumsy footsteps, and groping hands, the two of you discarding articles of clothing until the two of you were in just underwear.

Enji picked you up and pressed you down onto the mattress kissing down your jaw down to your neck and chest leaving red marks a he went.

He was prepared to be the dominant one until you somehow instantly flipped the two of you around making it where you were on top smirking at him and holding a condom in between your teeth.

You may be the one on his receiving end but Enji knew that you were far from being submissive for him, as you tore open the wrapper with your teeth and looked at him like he was your prey.

He was in for a long night.

------------------

Waking up the next morning the first thing Enji did was to sit up and stretch until he felt the familiar pop of his joints, he looked around his surroundings and noticed that you weren’t in the room with him. Your clothes were missing from the floor and a pair of clothes were neatly folded on the foot of the bed for him.

Quietly he got dressed and went to open the door to exit the room, immediately he was hit by the smell of eggs and bacon.

Walking into the kitchen he blushed as he caught sight of you standing in front of the stove, wearing nothing but a T-shirt tucked into short shorts. They did nothing to hide all of the marks that covered your neck and thighs left behind from the night before.

He couldn’t help but admire your beauty and the way your hips swayed as you quietly hummed a tune under your breath.

“It’s rude to stare you know,” you say over your shoulder

He jumped “S-sorry I didn’t mean to”

You smiled at him and playfully rolled your eyes “It’s fine and stop being so stiff around me you’ve seen me naked and I don’t let just anyone do that ya know”

You turn off the stove and spin around with two plates of bacon and eggs in your hands “now sit, I made breakfast”

Enji sat at the spot at your small dining table that you prepared for him and began eating.

You rubbed the back of your neck “I know it’s not the best but it’s the only thing I know how to make without needing adult supervision”

“It tastes perfectly fine, thank you for making it” Enji defended

You opened your mouth to deny it but his sincere expression made the words dry up and all you could do was let out a sigh and smile back at him.

Enji wanted to see that smile every day.

------------------

After breakfast was finished and everything was put in the sink you and Enji sat on your couch, drank tea, and talked. Mostly just chatting until the conversation about being in a relationship came up.

“(Y/N) there is something I need to talk to you about before any of this continues” Enji looked directly into your eyes.

The two of you held eye contact until he looked down and sighed.

He began telling you of his past, of his goal the reason he left you before, the stuff he’s done to his son and the emotional and physical abuse he’s put the entirety of his family through. Not once did you interrupt him, you let him speak and reveal everything he had done.

After he was finished speaking he couldn’t face you, you must’ve been disgusted with him not that he would blame you. He expected you to reject him, tell him to leave not wanting anything to do with a monster like him.

But that’s not what happened, instead, you reached forwards and cupped his face in your hands and placed a delicate kiss to his lips.

You pulled away “Thank you for telling me, what you did was terrible and you deserve any punishment that you receive.” You paused “But I can see you are trying to change and become a better person.”

You looked him directly in the eyes “And that’s all that matters is that you’re trying and as long as you’re trying I will stand by your side.”

After your speech, Enji only noticed the tears falling from his eyes when you started wiping them away, he latched his arms around your torso pressing his face into your chest, shaking, and sobbing out a chorus of “thank you’s.”

You simply smiled and held him as he cried, you didn’t care that he was staining your shirt with his tears instead, you rubbed circles on his back, placed soft kisses on the crown of his head, and whispered that everything was gonna be okay.

------------------

Ever since that day you and Enji have been on several more dates taking it slow and getting to know each other.

It was about a year later when he invited you over to his home, that was odd considering he hasn't invited you over before because he hasn’t told his kids about you, his daughter Fuyumi being the exception.

Walking up to Enji’s door, your heart was beating a mile a minute it was the first time you were going to meet his children and you were nervous as hell.

Taking a deep breath you lifted a hand and knocked firmly on the door. Not even a minute later the door opened with Enji greeting you with a quick kiss, a thank you for coming before he pulled you inside.

“So I have informed them of someone I wanted them to meet but I haven't told them who exactly they’re meeting” he whispered

As soon as you walked into the living room 3 pairs of eyes were on you, it was an intense staring contest between the four of you.

Enji cleared his throat and gestured to the smaller man “So everyone this is (Y/N) my boyfriend, I hope all of you can get along.”

You took that as your cue to speak “Hey guys nice to finally meet you!” You gave them one of your signature smiles and slap Enji’s back “This loser can’t stop talking about you.”

Enji glared at you “H-hey!” His kids snorted

You ignored him opting to sit next to the boy with half red and half white hair “You must be Shouto” you pinch his cheek lightly “You’re just as adorable as the time I saw you at the sports festival!” He simply blushed and let out a small “thank you.”

Next, you looked to the taller boy with white hair and raised your hand for a high-five “You’re Natsuo!” The boy gave your hand a gentle slap “I love your shirt by the way” you gestured to his shirt that said “FRONT” on it. He gave you a smile “Thanks, finally someone who appreciates my sense of fashion, unlike somebody.” He glanced over to Fuyumi.

You gave her a gentle smile and held out your hand for her to shake “It’s very nice to meet you Fuyumi, I hope I’ve made a good impression on you so far?”

She chucked “Yes you have (Y/N)”

After that you had pleasant conversations with the siblings, getting along with them even Shouto seemed to perk up when you spoke to him.

Enji watched as you effortlessly seemed to make them warm up to you, fitting in so easily it went much better than he thought it would.

He couldn’t help but stare at the empty space on your finger on your left hand and feel the shape of the small velvet box that was at the bottom of his pocket.

Soon his children will have another father, the Todoroki family will have a new member and everyone can take a step forward.

He’ll have to wait until the time is right but for now, he is content with watching his family bond with his boyfriend and future husband.

#endeavor #bnha enji #enji todoroki #endeavor x reader #endeavor x male reader #bnha x male reader #x male reader #male reader #enji todoroki x male reader #endeavor x male #frenchbread's writing

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roman-writing · 3 years ago

Text

no great revelation (7/8)

Fandom(s): The Haunting of Bly Manor / Star Wars

Pairing: Dani Clayton/Jamie Taylor

Rating: M

Wordcount: 6,244

Summary: Jamie just wants to enjoy a drink after a hard day’s work on the Telosian Restoration Project. The last thing she needs is to get herself caught up in a mysterious woman with a lightsabre at the local bar.

Aurthor’s notes: Please note the rating change

read it below or read it here on AO3

VII.

—

Jamie swiped up on the tablet to throw the video to the feed at the centre of the table.

"Rebecca, this is everyone," Jamie said. "Everyone, this is Rebecca."

"I thought that maybe you'd been making up your Jedi friends this whole time. Nice to see I was wrong about that." Rebecca gave a little wave. "Hi, Dani. How's the ghost?"

Dani sank down a little in her seat, and her answering smile was more of a grimace. "Hi. Sorry," she mumbled.

"Yeah, about that," said Jamie. “Back on Quint’s ship, you said you knew what was happening at House Thul.”

“Oh? Finally ready to listen to me, are you?”

“Don’t push me,” Jamie growled, jabbing the tip of her finger at Rebecca’s face on the screen. “Remember. Galaxy’s Biggest Favour.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. She had taken the call with her back to a wall, so it was impossible to glean her surroundings. "The Empire wants a foothold on Alderaan. It's a strategic location in the Core Worlds. They have been working over Lord Wingrave after the death of his brother and sister-in-law, helping him fabricate claims to the House, claims to his niece and nephew, claims to a position in the Republic Senate. You know the drill. Traditional blackmail."

"What else?" Jamie pressed.

For a moment Rebecca glanced over the top of the camera as if looking at something else out of frame, but then her attention returned back to the screen. "The children are Force Sensitives. The Sith have been helping Lord Wingrave keep that under wraps, so that The Order wouldn't take them away to the Temple for training. My sources tell me that the plan was for a Sith Lord to create sleeper agents out of the children through the use of some ancient Sith device containing a ghost."

"Which Sith?" Hannah asked.

"I'm not in the business of keeping tabs on Sith Lords. By the way," Rebecca pointed through the screen at Hannah. "How have you found shaving your head? Because I've been thinking of cutting my hair back, but I’m not sure about going all the way."

Running a hand along her shaved scalp, Hannah said, "There's nothing quite so freeing."

"Good to know. Thanks.”

"Oi," Jamie snapped her fingers. "Focus. The Sith Lord."

"What else is there to say?" Rebecca replied dryly. "They're a Sith Lord. They're scary. They're dangerous. They're not to be fucked with. Your Jedi friends probably know the drill better than me."

"I hope not," Owen said under his breath as he took a sip of tea.

Hannah sat up a little straighter, hands clasped neatly on the table before her. "Do we know where they are? Where they're going, perhaps? Any information you give us may be vital."

Leaning her back against the wall behind her, Rebecca pursed her lips in thought before answering with a shake of her head. "I know they want the children, and I know they want the holocron. So - Alderaan."

"But the holocron isn't on Alderaan," Dani pointed out.

"They don't know that," said Rebecca. "Peter lied to buy himself time, and told them it was still in the estate of House Thul."

"But -" Dani frowned. "House Thul has its own militia of guardsmen. I know Sith are powerful but the Empire would need to send troops if they wanted to break in and hold ground."

"Then I guess the Sith Lord will be invading with troops as well."

Sighing deeply, Jamie lowered her face to her hands, letting her fingers scrub through her hair. Then she looked up again, hands hooked behind her neck. "Right. Guess we're off to Alderaan, then."

Rebecca laughed. When nobody else joined in, she stopped. "Wait. You're serious? Did you not just hear me say 'Most likely a Sith Lord is going to invade House Thul?' As in — with a shock legion. As in over a thousand soldiers led by a malevolent Force User, who can and would probably kill a room with a snap of their fingers?”

Lowering her hands, Jamie said, "Yeah, you - uh - you mentioned that. Good thing you'll be right there with us."

"You have got to be joking."

Jamie said nothing. Just gave Rebecca a long look.

"Jamie," said Rebecca, her expression horrified, "You can't be serious. When I said 'favour' I didn't mean 'suicide.'"

"We can’t let them have those kids. Trying to mobilise Republic troops or The Order without enough evidence is a fuckin’ waste of time. We need to get into the estate of House Thul," Jamie gestured around to everyone at the table. "You're a smuggler. So, smuggle us in."

Rebecca pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alderaan is Republic territory. Why do you need me to smuggle you onto the planet, when you can just fly and land there yourself?"

"Because of her." Jamie gestured towards Dani, who looked both startled at being mentioned and guilty. "I don't want Pasha and his Troopers linking Dani to this in any way. They can't know she returned to House Thul. She has to come out of this squeaky clean."

Groaning, Rebecca said, "Fine. When do you want to go?"

"As soon as possible," said Owen.

"I'm -" Rebecca looked over the top of the camera again, craning her neck slightly. "Thirty two hours from Alderaan through hyperspace. Meet me in orbit around the planet. How's the ship I gave you?"

"Rude," Jamie said blandly. "It keeps insulting me."

A smile tugged at the corner of Rebecca's mouth and she began tapping at the buttons below her screen. "That sounds like Jane."

Jamie's face screwed up. "Jane? It has a name?"

"It's a JN class droid uploaded into the ship’s mainframe. It likes being called Jane. Didn't you ask it?"

"No?"

"Well, no wonder it's rude to you. By the way, I’ve just dropped you those pictures of my godson that you asked for last time. They should be appearing on your device now.” Rebecca waved with a little flutter of her fingers. “See you in thirty two hours.”

The video feed winked out.

"I rather like that young woman," Hannah said.

“Get in line,” Jamie grumbled.

The video had been replaced by a file icon. Jamie clicked it and brought up the first photo of Rebecca carrying a blue-skinned Twi’lek child on her back, both wearing big beaming smiles.

“Oh, they’re adorable,” Owen sighed.

Fuming, Jamie flicked to the next photo, which was equally adorable. “Fuck. Okay. Yeah. They are.”

—

After cleaning up in the dining room and kitchen, Hannah gently nudged Jamie's arm and indicated she should follow her. Jamie glanced over at Dani, but she was engaged in a lively conversation with Owen while they dried dishes together. Dani's smile had lost its tentative edge the longer Owen spoke to her, but there was still a tenseness to the way she held her shoulders, the same tenseness that had been present back in Ho'kyn's bar on Telos IV, as though she were afraid someone would batter down the door at any moment.

Jamie followed Hannah, who led her up a set of stairs to a mezzanine floor where the walls were floor to ceiling scrolls and books and objects of cultural curiosity.

"Find anything new?" Jamie asked. She leaned back against the railing of the mezzanine which overlooked the lounge below.

Hannah plucked a tome from its shelf, dusted it off, and opened it to a page that had already been marked with a length of ribbon. "Yes and no. Nothing helpful, anyway."

She came to stand beside Jamie so that she might also look at the book. Jamie peered at it from the corner of her eye, not recognising the script around the drawing of a grey-skinned woman in dark red robes with a deep cowl.

"That a Sith?" Jamie asked.

Hannah hummed a curious note. "A Witch of Dathomir. Dark-aligned, for the most part, but not Imperial. They're the only practitioners of possession I've been able to find record of at all. I believe The Lady might have been an early precursor. Or perhaps they developed similar techniques independently."

Jamie stood straighter, hands tightening around the railing. "Wait, so - you can reverse it?"

Hannah snapped the book shut. "No. Though a visit to Dathomir might be in order, should we survive. However, if you chose to go, I won't be accompanying you. They dislike Jedi as much as they dislike Sith."

"Good thing I'm not a Jedi."

"I doubt they'll see the difference," Hannah said, and she tucked the book beneath one arm. "Failing that, the only other people who might know anything about this ghost are the Sith themselves."

Jamie scoffed, smiling. "Right. I'll just sail into their capital on Dromund Kaas and ask for help, then. Great advice."

A flick of the Force against Jamie's ear made her wince.

"Don't be cheeky," said Hannah.

Rubbing at her ear, Jamie opened her mouth to retort but stopped. Beneath them Dani and Owen walked into the lounge, still talking. Dani moved her hands when she spoke, and Owen watched her with a fond if guarded smile.

"I am afraid for her," Hannah murmured so that they would not be overheard.

Jamie nodded. "Yeah."

"For someone like our lovely Miss Clayton, the Dark Side is not a lure so much as it is a glue trap," Hannah mused aloud. "It has a gravity of its own, the darkness. And once there, it becomes more and more difficult to claw your way free. Even if you want to. Even if you know you should, but can’t bring yourself to try. Fear is her failing. And fear is the relinquishment of logic."

Jamie glanced at Hannah. "Can you teach her when this is all over? You're the best of the best in The Order when it comes to balance in the Force."

Without looking at Jamie, Hannah lightly smacked her arm, just a dismissive tap with the back of one hand. "Don't try your flattery on me. I've known you too long for that nonsense."

"That nonsense," said Jamie, "has gotten me out of more sticky situations than you know."

"But it won't get Miss Clayton out of this one."

Muttering a curse under her breath, Jamie sank down a bit, gripping the railing as she did so until she stood bent over and leaning against it. "Don't you start, too. I had Owen in my ear last night about it."

"Good man," Hannah murmured appreciatively.

"Bloody hypocrites. The both of you."

"You can't solve everything with your curmudgeonly charm," said Hannah.

"I fuckin' can."

"Sometimes," Hannah turned, leaning her back against the railing, arms crossed over the book gripped loosely to her chest, "a helping hand can only do so much. A person needs to want to help themself."

Jamie scowled. "So, what? If we can't help her we just ship her off to the Empire? 'Here, have a new Sith apprentice?' You haven't even given her a chance, and you two are already lecturing me on how I need to let go." She shook her head with a bitter chuckle. "Unbelievable."

And of course Hannah remained infuriatingly unflappable, her voice calm when she replied, "I will do everything I can, as I know Owen will, too. But — even should we survive this ordeal — our time with her will be limited. She will not be safe on Tython, where some overzealous Knight will surely sense her presence and jump to conclusions."

Jamie's mouth went dry. She swallowed. "Then where am I supposed to take her for training?"

Hannah smiled and placed a warm hand on Jamie's forearm. "Wherever you want, dear. So long as you're there."

Face screwing up in confusion, Jamie straightened. "But you just - You were just telling me how I needed to keep my distance and all that shite."

"Was I?" Hannah murmured, and she let go of Jamie's arm to instead toy at a gold earring. "I don't recall saying that at all."

And with that she crossed back over to place the book on its shelf.

"What do you mean? Hannah?" said Jamie, turning around.

Humming to herself as if she hadn't heard, Hannah drifted off down the stairs.

"Hannah," Jamie repeated, louder this time.

"We really must pack, Owen," said Hannah, ignoring Jamie completely.

Hitting her fist against the railing, Jamie turned back around to glower down at Hannah, who appeared on the floor below. Hannah urged Owen down a hallway with instructions to pack for the trip, leaving Dani standing in the middle of the lounge, alone. Dani looked up, and Jamie's fist loosened.

The last time Jamie had seen her from this angle, Dani had been in the full thrall of The Lady back on the luxury cruiser, her red-gold gaze piercing through a camera in the ceiling. Now, Dani blinked up at her with none of that cold malice to be found. She opened her mouth to say something, but then Hannah's voice called down the hallway.

"Miss Clayton, what's the weather like at House Thul?"

Dani turned and began walking towards the sound, already answering Hannah's question, and leaving Jamie staring after her from the mezzanine floor, lost.

—

The gangway automatically lowered to the ground when Jamie got within a certain distance from the luxury cruiser still docked where they had left it.

"Good afternoon, Bollocks," said the cultured male baritone of the ship's computer. "You've brought guests."

Beside her, Owen mouthed the word 'bollocks?' at Hannah, who looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh.

Jamie rolled her eyes and shooed the two of them up the gangway, trailed by Dani. "I have, yeah. Anything interesting happen while we were away, Jane?"

There followed a pause that was slightly too long for a droid of this calibre, and then the ship's computer replied, "Nothing of note. I did not tell you to call me that."

"Oh? Don't like it? Should I call you bawbag instead?"

Another pause, this one affronted. "Jane," said the ship's computer, "is perfectly serviceable."

"Glad to hear it, mate," Jamie drawled and stepped into the ship proper.

As Dani stepped up behind her, the ship's computer said, "And a good day to you, too, Miss Clayton. You're looking very alive today."

"Uh -" said Dani, and she ducked her head sheepishly. "Thanks."

The gangway lifted and sealed behind them once everyone had entered the main atrium, where the ship’s computer had already sent out a small service droid on trundlers bearing glasses of some kind of pale carbonated alcohol.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Owen murmured, picking up a glass and taking a sip. He made an appreciative noise.

“Where would we like to go?” the ship’s computer asked.

Jamie waved the service droid away when it tried to press an insistent drink into her hand. “No, thanks. Jane, calculate a route to Alderaan. We need to meet someone in orbit around the planet in thirty two hours.”

“Route calculated,” the ship’s computer replied almost immediately. “The journey is only expected to take twenty one hours through hyperspace. I will chart a circuitous route so that we arrive on time. If it would please you, you may make your way to the dining lounge. I have prepared a light lunch before we depart.”

Frowning, Jamie looked up at the ceiling. “How the hell did you even know we were coming?”

“I have access to the station’s security cameras and systems.”

That gave everyone pause. Owen froze in the act of draining his glass, while Hannah and Dani shared looks.

“You hacked the station’s security system?” Jamie said.

“Negative, Bollocks,” said the ship’s computer. “I asked the mainframe for access very nicely.”

“Are you lying?” Jamie turned to Hannah and Dani. “Can droids lie?”

The ship’s computer did not answer. Which wasn’t concerning. Not at all. Owen suddenly looked a bit queasy, and he gingerly lowered his near empty glass back onto the tray held out by the service droid.

“You need not fear for the condition of food and drink aboard this vessel,” said the ship’s computer. “I am programmed to care for and protect any legitimate member of this crew as designated by the Captain and owner.”

Jamie pointed jokingly at Owen and said, “Better watch yourself, then.”

Placing a hand over his chest, Owen pretended to look insulted, then followed Jamie further into the ship towards the dining lounge.

“May I ask,” started the ship’s computer, “what are we going to be doing on Alderaan?’

Jamie dragged her hand along one of the polished white walls as she walked. “Getting in over our heads.”

“Please clarify.”

“We’re going to have a fight. Why?” Jamie asked dryly. “Do you also happen to have ion cannons strapped to your shiny exterior?”

“Negative. But I do come equipped with some accessories the crew might find useful in the event of a boarding attempt.”

One of the panels beneath Jamie’s hand pressed inwards, and a whole section of the wall peeled back to reveal racks upon racks of blaster pistols, blaster rifles, grenades, vibroweapons with wickedly curved blades some small enough to strap to the leg, others long enough to be wielded with two hands. Everything that would make a Republic Trooper get all hot and bothered.

All four of them stopped in their tracks and stared.

“Definitely an ex-Czerka ship,” Hannah muttered under her breath.

Hand on the hilt of the lightsabre at her hip, Dani said, “I think I’ll stick with this. I’d be more likely to shoot my own foot.”

“Likewise,” said Owen.

Meanwhile Jamie reached out and hefted a blaster pistol. She turned it over in her hands for closer inspection, careful not to graze anyone with the barrel, but all defining marks or serial numbers had been either scrubbed off or hadn’t made it far enough in manufacturing to be stamped in the first place. With a shrug, she took one of the holsters and belted it around her waist.

Owen gave her a look. “Really?”

“What?” Jamie holstered the blaster pistol and waved at the other three. “You all have lightsabres, and we’re going up against who only knows what. Am I supposed to just hide behind a pillar while you lot do all the fun stuff?”

Before they could answer, the ship’s computer chimed and said from its hidden speakers in the ceiling. “Not to interrupt,” said Jane, “but the tea is getting cold.”

Immediately Owen’s eyes brightened. “Oh, tea?”

It was in fact high tea. Three tiered platters. Fine bone china. Petit fours. The whole lot. They amused themselves in the various lounges and quarters of the ship for hours before departure, at which point the ship’s computer insisted upon harnesses being secured. The jump to hyperspace left Jamie feeling on edge, as though she had left her stomach behind on Tython. And she couldn’t have been the only one. Their talk had been too forced, their laughter too loud, Owen and Jamie swapping stories to the delight of Dani and Hannah, who would chime in every now and then. And when Jane rolled out a more formal dinner, it felt like some kind of last meal before execution at dawn by firing squad.

Jamie couldn’t find it in herself to enjoy the meal. Every bite tasted like ash. The ship’s computer on the other hand seemed thrilled that its crew was finally taking part in its carefully scheduled meals and activities. More than once Jamie thought she heard a low-pitched contented hum from the belly of the ship. Or perhaps that was simply the engine room.

Eventually, Jamie made her excuses and left the others to their own devices. Jamie walked into the same bedroom she had taken during the initial trip on this vessel. First one on the left from the main lounge. There were at least four other rooms of generally equal size and accommodation on the ship; Jamie had simply picked this one because it was closest to the helm, easy to access and nothing more.

Jamie sighed and stopped in the middle of the room. She unslung the holster and pistol, dropping it to the ground, then began to unbutton the crisp white shirt she had stolen from the medbay. Back on Tython, Hannah had offered her a spare set of robes, which she’d declined. Jamie hadn’t worn robes since she was a padawan, and after years of boilersuits and undershirts, she wasn’t about to start again any time soon, thanks. Even if it meant dumb slacks and collared shirts made of some anti-wrinkle fabric that cost more than her apartment back on Telos IV.

She just needed to make it one more day. Just one more day. The last few weeks had shaved off a good few years from her life. Probably. And by this time tomorrow this whole ordeal would be over, alive or dead. Probably.

There was a knock at the door. With a frown, Jamie turned, hands paused in the act of unbuttoning the shirt halfway down her stomach. “Yeah?”

The door hissed open and shut again behind Dani as she stepped into the room. “Hi.”

Jamie blinked. “Hey.”

For a long moment Dani did and said nothing. Her mismatched gaze flicked down to the narrow v of skin and the dogtags revealed by the open shirt, only to dart quickly away again, studying the bedside table with a fixed intensity it did not deserve.

“Sorry,” said Dani. “I just - It's been a few days since we’d really spoken, and I wanted to check in.”

Jamie nodded. “Ah - yeah. I’m good. Are you -?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

Another lengthy pause.

Dani gestured to the door behind her. “Hannah and Owen are very nice.”

“They are, yeah. Good people. Trust ‘em with my life, and I don’t say that lightly.” Jamie tried to smile, to make light, but Dani had turned that wide-eyed fixed intensity upon her now. It was difficult not to squirm in place when Dani looked at her like that.

Dani took an abortive step forward, only to stop herself before she could venture too close. “Are we okay? It’s just - on Tython you seemed to want your own space, and I thought -” She paused to clear her throat, glancing briefly down at her feet. “Did I mess this up or -? I mean - I know I’m not the best option for anyone, and you deserve someone nice, someone who’s not completely messed up or possessed by an ancient Sith ghost or something. But I -” she paused to close her eyes and draw in a deep breath. “I really like you. And if you don’t want anything to do with me after this is all over, I would completely understand, but I -”

Jamie tried. She really did. But the next thing she knew, she had taken a step forward and pulled Dani in for a kiss. Dani made a small noise of surprise in the back of her throat that Jamie chased after, feeling her respond in kind, feeling the Force welling up beneath Dani’s skin like a hand reaching out in offering.

“Do you think -” Jamie said, pulling away just enough to speak, “- that I did all this because I don’t like you?”

Dani gave a breathless little laugh, her hands cupping Jamie’s jaw then sliding to cradle the back of her head. “I thought you did it because you’re good and noble and you’re drawn to a lost cause.”

“Can be lots of things, can’t I?”

They were close enough that Jamie could feel the pull of Dani’s smile against her own lips, their noses brushing.

“I know you like your life to be boring. So, I was thinking," said Dani, "how nice Corsin must be at this time of year. Just a getaway planet in the middle of nowhere. No Sith. No Jedi. That could be boring, couldn't it?"

Jamie swayed forward, eyes half lidded, and murmured, "Could be awfully boring."

Hannah and Owen be damned. The little voice in the back of her head telling her this was a bad idea be damned. Dani was kissing her again and every thought flew right out of her head until there was nothing but this. Nothing but today, this moment, the call of blood in her veins, life as it was and nothing else.

There was not push towards the bed, no drive to action beyond this. Still Jamie paused, one hand remaining anchored at Dani’s waist.

“You can still go alone,” Jamie said, “if you want. Doesn’t have to be with me.”

Even as she said it, Jamie dreaded the answer. Knowing Dani’s predilection towards shrinking away from things that were too difficult to face alone. Knowing her own history of always being the odd one out, passed from place to place, from Corps to Corps, unfettered, unwanted.

Dani’s hand tightened in her hair, holding her close. “Want it to be with you.”

Want this, Jamie thought as Dani kissed her again. Want this, too.

Removing Dani’s cloak and tossing it onto the floor beside the blaster pistol had never felt so easy. Kissing her, unhooking the lightsabre and setting it onto the table had never felt so easy. Unzipping Dani’s vest while Dani finished unbuttoning what Jamie had started had never felt so easy. Being with someone else had never felt so easy.

Jamie’s shirt was discarded onto the ground beside the bed just as Jamie sank to her knees there. Dani’s hair was mussed, her mouth parted, her eyes fixed and unblinking as Jamie began to slowly drag down the zipper of her trousers. She toyed with the chain of Jamie’s dogtags, winding it around her fingers at the back of Jamie’s neck.

When Jamie began to tug down the material, Dani sat on the edge of the mattress so her pants could be peeled off and placed aside. Jamie leaned forward and stroked her tongue along the soft skin of Dani’s inner thigh, feeling a hand grip her hair when she bit down gently, and making a low dark sound in the back of her throat.

Already Dani was moving her hips in small motions and Jamie hadn’t even started yet. Jamie laughed softly.

“What?” Dani breathed.

Jamie shook her head, but the movement was restricted somewhat by the tight grip Dani had on her hair. “Nothing,” she murmured and bowed forward to place her open mouth against slick wet and wanting heat.

Wanting nothing but this. The spread of Dani’s legs on either side of Jamie’s head. The taste of her when Jamie swiped her tongue in long slow strokes. The sound of her name gasped in Dani’s voice. The ache between her own legs as Dani rocked her hips to the rhythm Jamie set with a barely restrained urgency.

Where last time had been fast and hard, Jamie did the opposite now. She traced Dani with the tip of her tongue as if trying to map her to memory, finding the best reactions and storing them away for later, for a time again with her that may never come. One of Dani’s heels came up to press into the small of Jamie’s back, and Jamie could feel the way the muscle of Dani’s inner thigh trembled against the side of her face. The same way her fingers trembled as they combed back Jamie’s hair.

Want this, Jamie thought as Dani’s groan ended on a broken noise, as Dani’s hips arched up to press more firmly against her mouth while Jamie offered only a gentle suction. Want her. Want us.

Dani hauled Jamie up by the chain around her neck to kiss her deeply. The kiss was slick and messy and tasted of her, and when they parted Dani was panting.

“Did I mention,” Dani said breathlessly, “that I really like you?”

Jamie laughed and allowed herself to be pulled up onto the bed. Smiling broadly, Dani kissed her and rolled her over to start unbuttoning Jamie’s dark-washed slacks. Before she could do more than flick open the first of two buttons, Jamie placed her hands and Dani’s hips and encouraged her to rock against her thigh.

“That’s -” Dani swallowed back a reckless sound, her eyes squeezing shut. “I’m going to ruin your nice slacks.”

“Fuck ‘em.”

Dani’s answering laugh was breathless. “Do you mean that literally, or -?”

The question died on her tongue when Jamie pressed her knee up and wedged a hand between them just enough that she could brush her thumb just so. She watched as Dani’s face screwed up, as her mouth dropped open and her hips bucked out of time until she came again — smaller this time, but no less gratifying.

Dani slowed to a halt, trying to catch her breath. “All right,” she said. “It’s definitely your turn.”

When they’d finished, Jamie sank bonelessly back onto the mattress. Their clothes were strewn all about the room, and the ship’s computer had set the lights to dim automatically to match a normalised sleep cycle, so that the ceiling was a map of constellations. Dani was stark naked and wiping her hands clean on a shirt with a self-satisfied expression before she crawled back up the bed and snuggled into Jamie’s side.

Jamie rolled onto her side and draped an arm across Dani’s waist to hold her loosely there. She needed to take a shower, but couldn’t find the energy within herself to get up. Not when recent sex had turned her bones to jelly, and not when Dani started to trace the curving lines of Jamie’s monochromatic tattoo.

Exhaling slowly, Jamie sank further into the mattress. Her eyes slipped shut and she allowed herself this moment of brief respite.

“Do you ever think,” Dani asked softly, “this was supposed to happen?”

Blearily, Jamie opened her eyes, lulled half asleep by the way Dani was touching her. “What d’you mean?”

Dani shook her head, admiring the way her fingertips drifted across the pattern of ink on Jamie’s bare shoulder. “I don’t know. I just - When I chose the ship to Telos IV, it wasn’t the fastest or the cheapest or even the one leaving the soonest. I was still in shock, I think. From what had happened on Vurdon Ka. There was another transport leaving three hours earlier, heading towards the Outer Rim, but when the droid asked me what ticket I wanted I bought the one to Telos instead.” Her words slowed to a mumble, and her caress stopped. Dani stared at the flowers on Jamie’s skin as if in wonder. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“Coincidence?” Jamie offered, watching the flicker of Dani’s brow in response.

Dani seemed to be trying to remember something intently. “Maybe, but it was so strange. I had this - this feeling. And when I landed on Telos, you know, I -” She broke off with a small incredulous laugh. “I walked straight to that bar. Just - straight there. Didn’t even ask for directions.”

Jamie blinked, more awake now. That hum of energy had returned, threading between them like an arc. Dani’s presence was stalwart, nothing wavering or questioning about it.

“I don’t know anything about the Force,” Dani continued, “but I’m glad to have met you.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Jamie’s mouth. It was brief but the warmth pooling in her chest was verdant and budding. “Yeah. Me too.”

—

Rebecca’s ship dropped out of hyperspace only three kilometers from the luxury cruiser, so that the two vessels drifted in orbit around Alderaan side by side. The planet below was a vast curved horizon of blues and greens, struck through with white cloud. Sitting in the pilot’s seat, Jamie noticed how Dani’s gaze kept drifting towards the broad windows of the left wing, staring out at the planet below with her shoulders tense and her hands clasped behind her back.

The moment Rebecca’s ship came into view, Owen leaned over Jamie’s shoulder and hit the comm button, requesting a transmission, which was immediately picked up.

“Hello again,” Owen greeted jovially down the line. “We see you’ve just arrived in orbit. And might I say - your ship is exactly what I expected from a smuggler.”

“Aww, thanks,” said Rebecca, her video feed flickering into view. “I worked hard to get it just right.”

Rebecca’s ship was a single bladed shape of stark grey material, like a shark’s fin parting the surface of water. Jamie knew from experience that its small size could mislead larger ships into underestimating its speed and firepower. She also knew from experience that the sleeping cots were cramped and uncomfortable, and that more often than not Rebecca slept in a hammock strung up in the cockpit itself.

Jamie elbowed Owen in the gut so she could have more room. “Status report?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “What are you? Fleet Commander Taylor?”

“Just tell me how we’re getting down to the surface without being noticed,” Jamie said.

“Funny you should ask that,” Rebecca replied, trailing off.

Owen made a face. “Oh, no. Is it bad?”

“Well…”

“Get it over with,” groaned Jamie. She could hear Hannah and Dani walking closer to join the conversation. “Put me out of my misery.”

Rebecca hit a few buttons to switch over the feed, and the screen suddenly displayed a scene much nearer to the surface. She must have hacked into a few security cameras, because the view turned slowly alongside her tapping away in the background. A towering estate in slate greys with parapets like speartips jutting into the sky dominated the screen, flanked by snowy mountains. A broad bridge led to the front entrance, and a hundred or so guardsmen had set up allacrete bollards behind which they were taking cover to avoid incoming fire, peeking over to return volleys before crouching down again.

“That’s,” Dani said slowly, pointing towards a crest-emblazoned purple and red banner hanging from the manor walls on the screen, “House Thul.”

Jamie squeezed her eyes shut and tipped her head back towards the ceiling. “Don’t tell me.”

“They’re being besieged by the Sith Lord,” said Rebecca.

“I said don’t tell me.”

Hannah peered over Jamie’s shoulder to get a look at the screen. “Can you get us to the surface?” she asked.

“Yeah,” said Rebecca. “But after that, I’m all out of ideas. I told you: I’m not a Core World girl. I don’t know Alderaan from a bottle of spotchka.”

“I do.”

Jamie opened her eyes and lowered her head. Beside her Dani had lifted her hand slightly as though waiting to be called on in class. “There’s a side entrance used primarily by servants and staff.”

“What? A side entrance dug all the way through the mountains?” Owen pointed to the snowy peaks pressed in tight on either side of the estate.

“No, it’s here.” Dani tapped her finger against the screen just off to the side of where the camera was currently showing. “It’s where the guards sleep. You go through a security checkpoint and then down a tunnel which leads into a room off the great hall.”

“Don’t think the security checkpoint won’t be a problem this time,” said Jamie.

“Yeah,” said Rebecca slowly as a guardsman on screen was shot dead and slumped to the ground, only to be pulled back over the bollard by one of his comrades. “They look a little occupied right now.”

Chatter fizzed from another speaker on the dashboard. Frowning, Rebecca sat in the pilot’s seat and turned a dial until the frequency better matched. They could hear a staticky voice shouting frantic orders over the comm.

“That’s a Pub frequency,” Rebecca said.

“The Empire has revealed its hand,” Owen said. “The Republic will be arriving with reinforcements soon.”

“Yeah, but not soon enough,” Jamie muttered darkly.

Hannah hummed in agreement. “Unfortunately, yes. A fully fledged Sith Lord? They can tear this estate apart and be out with what they want before Republic troops make it into orbit.”

“Yeah, well, hopefully we can do the same.”

From the sidelines, Dani suddenly spoke, “Can we talk about the children for a sec?” When she had everyone’s attention, she took a deep breath and continued, “What’s going to happen to them now that we know they’re Force Sensitive?”

She looked towards Jamie, who raised both hands and shook her head, pointing towards Owen and Hannah. Hannah was looking at Owen, who shrugged and made a gesture, which Hannah reacted to with an emphatic tilt of her head, the two of them engaged in the kind of silent conversation only two people who had been together for so long knew.

“Are you going to share with the class?” Jamie drawled. “Or are you two lovebirds just going to keep having your weird psychic talk that nobody else can hear?”

Hannah gave Jamie an arch, brook-no-nonsense glare, while Owen stuck out his tongue at her.

“I think it best if we take them back to Tython,” said Hannah to Dani. “There they can be trained in the Force properly.”

Some of the tension held in Dani’s jaw slackened, and she breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay. Yeah. Thanks. I needed to hear that.”

“Anything else we need to discuss before we leap into the fray?” Rebecca asked from the pilot’s seat.

Silence.

“Right,” said Jamie, hand on the holster of her blaster pistol. “Let’s get this over with, then.”

#thobm #the haunting of bly manor #star wars #damie #dani clayton/jamie #no great revelation #roman writes

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dumbbitchenergy17 · 4 years ago

Text

Extra Part 5

U.A. a school for students to learn how to become the best Pro-Hero. When young Y/n Midoriya returns from her traveling to be accepted through recommendation. What awaits her when she meet the explosive blonde Katsuki Bakugo

Words- 2722

Katsuki Bakugo x Midoriya!Reader, Izuku Midoriya x Cousin!Reader

Warning-Spoilers from show and bit angst but mainly fluff in this chapter

Series Masterlist

When you made it there all of your classmates were already there talking to each other and whatnot.

“Am I late?” You asked fixing your bag. Everyone turned to you smiles on their faces

“Y/n!” They yelled rushing to you. You were swarmed in hugs by the girls as they were talking about everything they missed.

“Oh my god, how are you.”

“We missed you so much!”

You were gone for so long.”

After all the greeting you saw Bakugo off to the side with Kirishima.

“Hey, Blondie.” You called him out making him turn to you, he had a glare on his face from the comment but it softens and he gave a brief nod.

You were standing next to Uraraka and Izuku while the others were just in little groups.

“Does it hurt?” Uraraka asked pointing at the scar on your face. Your face instinctively goes to your face embarrassed

“Um not really the pain is gone is just there is a lot of them so I keep the bandages on.” You explained pointing that it went from your shoulder to where the scar was shown on your face. Izuku squeezes your hand

“Well we are happy you are back and better.” Ida said making you smile. By the time everyone had finished their greeting Mr. Aizawa had come out of the front doors of the dorm.

“I’m glad to see everyone was able to be here, each of the dorms is for each class. ” He pointed down the road where multiple houses were.

“With your provisional hero licenses exam coming up we were supposed to be training at the camp. But you will all have to push yourself further to be ready, before we go in I want to be very clear. I should have you all expelled except, Bakugo, Y/n, Hagakure, and Jiro for not stopping the group from going after the two of them,”

Everyone’s jaw dropped about him talking about being expelled, “You will be working your hardest and you will only be doing school and training, not a step out of line. Am I understood?” He stated.

“Yes sensei.” Everyone said in unison.

“Ok let’s go inside and enjoy the dorm.” Mr. Aizawa’s attitude flipped like a switch making everyone confused

“How can we enjoy the rest of our day with that speech.” Sero complained. Bakugo goes over and grabs Kaminari and pulls him behind the wall at the entrance and you all see sparks go off before they both turn the corner and Denki is lucid babbling nonsense making you all laugh. You turn away and see Bakugo hand over a stack of cash to Kirishima. When he turns around he sees you watch with a smile. He gives you a glare and looks away grumbling under his breath.

“Hey guys! Dinner is on me.” Kirishima calls out holding up the same cash Bakugo gave him. When you guys entered the dorm it looked so cool, there were couches and tables and windows that led to a courtyard in the middle of the building.

“The first floor is a common area with a living area, with a shared kitchen, bathrooms, and laundry room.” Mr. Aizawa explained pointing around the room as everyone looked in awe.

“We are sharing the showers with the girls.” Mineta drools over the thought of seeing the girls.

“Each dorm has a separate bathroom for themselves.” Mr. Aizawa sends a glare towards Mineta

“Each floor are separate boys in the left-wing and girls in the right-wing.” He pulled out a list “You belonging are already in your rooms so feel free to relax or explore more.” After he had finished he left you all to get explore the empty room.

“These rooms are as big as my house.” Uraraka says looking at how big they are before passing out at the sheer size

“Uraraka!” Ida yells making you and Izuku laugh.

“We have balconies.” Izuku smiles as he and Kaminari wave down to the group. You all go off to your rooms to unpack and change out of your uniform into a sweater and sweatpants and heading downstairs where most of the students were hanging out

“This is place is so cool.” Ashido squealed flopping onto one of the couch.

“It great we have our own room to decorate.” You said sitting next to Ida.

“Oh my god, that’s it! We should have a contest on who has the best room.” Uraraka jumped up and most of the girls agree and some guys were unsure.

“Isn’t this kinda invasion of privacy.” Ida said as everyone made their way into the elevator.

“Eh It’ll be fun, think to as bonding of students, right class rep.” You smiled as you made your way up to the second floor.

“I guess.” Tenya nodded

“So who’s first?” Ashido asked looking at the floor plan.

“Well, my room is on this floor.” Izuku spoke up

“Great!” The group made their way to Izuku’s room,

“Wait don’t go in there.” He waved frantically but the door was open and we walked in. Izuku’s face was completely red, his room was covered in All Might posters and collectibles

“Fanboy huh.” Uraraka teases him. On his desk, there is a collage of postcards from different locations

“You kept my cards.” You looked at the cards from different locations and you froze staring at the Paris postcard.

“Yeah I kept them it was the only way we could talk, but they all stopped after Paris.” Izuku said looking at you.

“Aww that’s so cute.” Hagakure cooed. Everyone left Izuku’s room and watched in amusement as Ashido and Hagakure try to push Tokoyami away from the door.

“Y/n help us.” Ashido pleading you shook your head laughing

“I’ll pass this is very entertaining.”

When the girls entered they look around at the dark gloomy room.

“Spooky.” Uraraka looked around at the skulls on the tables

“You have a sword so cool.” Izuku freaks out over the sword on its stand. Aoyama was more than happy to show off his room and it was the opposite of Tokoyami. There were mirrors all over the room and very sparkly and bright.

“Is anyone going to come and see my room.” Mineta stood against the door and you and the girls grimaced.

“I don’t want to know what’s in there.” Jiro said as they went up onto the 3rd floor. Ojiro’s room was very basic, and Tenya’s as well but his walls very covered in bookcases.

“I need all the books to be the best Class Rep.” He stated proudly.

“Why do you have so many glasses.” You and Uraraka chuckled at the shelves of glasses

“I expect all my glasses to be broken in battle.” He defended himself this making you and Uraraka burst into laughter. Kaminari’s room looked like the inside of those shops in Kamino which made some of the girls laugh and he deflated at the comment. The group continued into Koda’s room and most of the girls freaked out when they saw a bunny in the room. After spending a bit with the rabbit, the group makes their way to the elevators

“Why are we only seeing our rooms if this is a competition the girls need to be included.” Mineta said making all the boys who were disappointed with the reactions to agree with him.

“Yeah, I’m fine with that.” You shrugged your shoulders and the rest of the girls agree. You decided to finish the boy’s side before going to the other side, You checked out Kirishima’s room which had weights and sports equipment around the room

“Very manly Kirishima.” You compliment and his smile gets bigger. Shoji’s room was a very empty room with the bare necessity, and when you guys made it to the last floor everyone was surprised at Sero’s stylish Asian-style dorm.

“Well let’s get this over with.” Todoroki opened up the door to his room, everyone’s jaw had dropped it looked like you had entered someone’s house, not the dorm room. His room was very traditional in the Japanese style.

“How did you even do this!” Kaminari looked at Todoroki as if he grew two heads. There was a pause

“Hard Work.” He responds. You finished up the boy’s side with Sato’s it was fairly normal but there were baking supplies and treats

“I had to take up a skill in baking to help with my quirk.” Sato pulled out some cake from the oven and served it out to the group.

“This is so good.” Uraraka grinned,

“The flavor is amazing, can you make something for my tea.” Yaoyorozu grinned.

“This is awesome Sato.” You finished up the treat. Your group headed over to the girl’s side.

“Finally the girl’s rooms, what secrets do they hold.” Mineta rubs his palms together only to get hit in the head by Jiro. You guys started at Yaoyorozu’s room but the group decided to stay outside as her room was completely crowded with her furniture.

“I thought my stuff would fit in here but I guess not, this room is about the same size as my closet back home.” Yaoyorozu explained.

“Your closet is this big.” Uraraka said before passing out in shock.

“Uraraka!” Tenya yells at her again.

“Are we going to Asui room?” Jiro asked Uraraka shook her head

“Tsuyu wasn’t feeling well and decided to head to her room.” she explained the group skipped her room head down to the floor you staying in. You guys went into Uraraka

“It’s a low budget room I know.” She rubbed the back of her head.

“Well, now you can fill it with memories.” You grab her hand giving her a squeeze. Even though your room was next Ashido wanted to show off her room

“Be my guest.” You gave her the go-ahead. Her room was very girly with Pink and black cheetah pink. You stayed there for a bit before you guys made your way to your room

“We know nothing about you, this is gonna tell us everything.” Ashido pointed out and the group nodded.

“Well let’s hope I leave a good impression.” You smiled opening up your door. You had your bed against the wall like everyone else, you had some plants on your dresser with trinkets there as well. There was a record player on your desk and your guitar. On the wall, there were photos and paintings, on the wall were your bed there was a huge map with multiple thumbtacks on different locations.

“You’ve been to all these places.” Kirishima looked at all the thumbtacks

“My parents traveled a lot for work I’ve been traveling for...I don’t know... Maybe 7-8 years.” You said to expect the reaction

“You’ve been traveling for 7 years!” Kaminari yelled.

“Not for 7 years straight but I’ve been taking online school and homeschool since I was seven.” You responded. The group nodded continuing to look around your room.

“Aw look at you, you look so cute.” Ashido points at a photo of when your family went to Athens you were mid-laugh on a boat.

“Yeah, that was Athens. We spent almost a year there.” You said.

“Who is the boy in this one.” Todoroki

“BOY!” The girls and Izuku yell trying to see the photo.

“Ohh he’s cute.” Hagakure gushes over him and you are able to see the photo.

“That’s Henry.” You replied the photo was you and him together dancing smiles on both of your faces.

“Where is this one.” Uraraka asked for more information.

“We were in Venezuela and I usually spent in exploring and we just met and click. My parents had to go to Columbia and I asked to stay and they left me so I spent the next few months with him and his family.” You explained looking at the photo feeling nostalgic.

“Were you guys together.” Sero asked leaning against your desk

“Oh god no,” You shook your head, “I was 13 and we were constantly moving around so we spent the time together and kept in touch when I left but that was years ago I haven’t talked to him in forever.” You said putting the picture back on your desk.

You turned back at the group and clapped your hands “So who’s room is next.”

The group made their way downstairs and we saw Jiro’s which was really interesting as she had many instruments around her room, and she knew how to play them all, you then check out to see Toru room which was very girly, with stuffed animals surrounding it. You all made your way back to the common room to cast your votes.

“Ok everyone’s vote is with one person having 6 votes, the winner of the best room is… Rikido Sato!”

“You only won because of your food!” Mineta yelled,

“Your room wasn’t even that cool!” Kaminari cries.

You get up from your spot next to Izuku and Uraraka “I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” You said your goodnights to your classmates and headed back to your room.

You closed the door behind you going to the mirror, slowly being careful not to hurt yourself you undo the bandages around your neck, take a deep breath lifting your hand and delicately trace the scars. Pulling away from the mirror you go over to the photo, you had a smile on your face a genuine one as you both stared at each other. You sit at your desk grabbing the guitar reading the message on the side of it.

‘To my angel, keep this and never forget your time here and come back soon. Te amo.’ -Henry.

Ok so you didn’t tell them you were in a relationship with him, you two would have never made it work, he’s probably happy out there living his life. You climbed into bed and let sleep take over you.

Your eyes shot open as you shot up in your bed trying to get your breathing under control. You rubbed your eyes leaning your head on your knees, you get up to go some water then you remember you still need to put stuff in your fridge. You slide slippers onto your feet and made your way downstairs to the common room. When the elevator dinged you walked out and walked over to the kitchen. You poured yourself to water and leaned against the counter taking a sip from it every once in a while. You heard footsteps heading in your direction a red haze surrounded one of the knives in the chef block and sent it flying towards the person, only to stop yourself when you see it’s Bakugo.

“Try not to kill someone on your first night here eh.” He said grabbing the floating knife and placed it back on the counter.

“Sorry just jumpy,” You apologized grabbing your drink, “I’ll leave you be.” You began to walk away from the kitchen.

“Wait,” He sighed, “You don’t need to leave.” You nodded and sat in one of the chairs at the island and continue to drink your water as Bakugo went to grab a fruit from a pile. He came over sitting on the other of the island.

“Does it hurt.” He said looking at your scars. You bring a hand up and touch you neck.

“No, It stopped hurting before I even woke up just the reminder hurts.” You said he leans over reaching his hand out but stops short of your neck until you nod and he makes contact with your skin.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles as his hands trails up you neck his finger tracing each scar.

“It wasn’t your fault if you weren’t there I would be good as dead.” You said grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. You both stood basking in the silence holding each others hand.

“I should probably head to bed.” You looked at the time.

“Uh yeah.” Bakugo coughed pulling his hand away from you. You placed your glass in the sink and made your way to the elevator

“Night Blondie.” You gave him a smile.

“Night Idiot.” He responded making you laugh.

The doors closed separating the two of you and for the first time in forever you and Bakugo had given a genuine smile.

(A/N: So here are some links for the your dorm room you can always think of something else, and here is a photo of you and Henry) Room: 01/02/03 Photo

#mha x y/n #mha quirks #my hero x reader #my hero academia #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki x you #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x midoriya!reader #katusuki bakugo x midoriya!reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x midoriya!reader #izuku x cousin!reader

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hellolonelytorment · 4 years ago

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Traitor theory( warring manga spoilers)

Ok so I know I’m late getting on the band wagon for the traitor theory but this like piped in my head at like 2am so I’m writing it down. I have seen a bunch of theories bouncing around and I’m going to write my own first things first I don’t think the traitor is reporting to Shigarki I think there reporting to All for one. While that’s said I can elite the traitor with this photo

Ok so this photo is when kirishaim and todoroki revel there’s a tracker. Now the tracker plays a big part but first let me tell you who I’m remitting right of the bat.

Kirishima

We saw Kirishima backstory witch is him mostly having confidence issues but that a Problem for another day. Anyways back to the point it Doesn’t make because when would he have time to Join the villains we’re shown he debating his choice on going to U.A until he sees the video of crimson riot. If he was working with the league he would have gone to U.A very quickly because it’s his mission. He also was the one to suggest the idea of rescuing bakugo if he was sort of the rogue it would be a hug no.Hence why I don’t think it’s Kirishima.

Momo

Momo is another character who could not be a traitor. One Momo is the one who made the tracker to but on the numuo (did I spell that right?) the league mission is to capture bakugo it wouldn’t make sense for them to try a trap witch doesn’t make sense with kidnapping bakugo its also just two risky to try. Momo also told all night about the tracker witch she could have like not done at all. Second Momo was a part of the bakugo rescue squad she goes with them so I’m emitting her right of the

Midoriya/ Bakugo

I shouldn’t need to explain this he’s the main character it would make like no sense what so ever. Bakugo was kidnapped by the league and he has a very passionient goal of becoming number one he also a big part of the series so doubt he’s the traitor it would also make no sense.

Todoroki

Ahh daddy issues a point of todoroki arc along with mommy issues and now evil dead brothers.

Todoroki seems to really hate his father after everything he was put through (he has a right to) if he really wanted to get back at his father he could become a spy but it doesn’t add up with todoroki arc and we saw glimpses of his backstory witch give him a Motive but he seem like he just wants to suppress his father and he helps save all might from the nomad adding on to that he threatens the thugs on what there plan to do for all might. Why would he do that if he was a traitor? Todoroki was also let of the bakugo rescue mission witch cancels him out.

Iida

He was part of the bakugo rescue mission witch elements him as well. Iida also went after stain after hurting his brother it’s said that stain and the league were kinda working together but not really. Why would iida go after someone he supposed to be working with it doesn’t add up. Iida also has A very strong sense of right and wrong and seems to stick by that but sometimes his heart speaks kinder then his head. But I’m eliminating him.

Aoyama

He’s not the traitor. I’m gonna flat out sat that. But I do thing Aoyama has a faint idea who the traitor is. He a loner and he wasn’t in the cafeteria when the press stormed in it even go into leangth that he sits alone and eats alone. So I definitely think Aoyama who sitting and eating lunch might have got a glimpse of the traitor. So i don’t think it Aoyama but I do think he knows who the traitor is. aoyama saved Tokoyami and tried to save bakugo by blasting compress in the face. He could have by all means stayed hidden in the bush and no one would have thought he was there it would have been perfect. But instead he risked it all to save Tokoyami and bakugo so he been eliminated.

Tokoyami

He is seen in this photo and he could be a candidate for a traitor but if you have read the manga you would non about his rescue for hawks witch he got like a leg burned badly or something. So I’m crossing him off the list for that incident and also the USJ and the training camp were he lost control of dark shadow.

Mineta

Yeah no, he more used as comic relief more then anything so I doubt he would be a traitor. It also wouldn’t effect anyone.

Thirteen

She was part of the USJ attack and helped defend the kids and was All most killed by Kurogiri again if she the traitor it wouldn’t make sense for her to be almost killed or try to save the students as she did. She also would know that all might wouldn’t be there She also is a very Minor character her traitor revealed wouldn’t impact the adicance.

Aizawa

I don’t know why I have to explain this but here we go. The dude littelry almost died like he had his elbow decayed away around it and ugh. His quirk was also damaged witch makes it weaker. Like why would you try to kill your spy and damage your quirk. Also did I mention he almost died (manga spoilers he not the traitor)

Midnight

Same as thirteen she a minor character and if you have read the manga you would know she not doing to hot. Midnight also didn’t know the location of the summer camp. (Manga spoilers in recent arc she mostly kicked the bucket so yeah)

President Mic

Hes a well liked side character and it would be a twist if he was a traitor but to me it doesn’t make any sense he also doesn’t know were the summer camp was I believe. I know because he mentioned the traitor that makes him suspicious but why would he draw supisciom to himself. Also due to vigilantes and what was reviled in that I’m crossing mic out.

All might

The league what the dude dead. Why work for the people who want you dead? It makes no sense

Class 1B

None of them are the traitor I have heard the theory of monamo being the traitor but I don’t think that would be likely.

Ok so now who are possibly here’s who we eliminated so far.

Ok so know I’m going into possibilities but who most likely isn’t and how I’m going to decide this is by recent events in the manga also this photo from above.

This is the moment when the tracker is reviled to the class and what there plan is to rescue bakugo. Right off the bat who do we not see.. jirou, hakgure, Momo. We already eliminated Momo so we’ll go on to who the possibility are but not likely.

Sero/Sato/ojiro/Kuoda

I’m grouping these four together for one reason we do t really know anything about them and neither really dose the audience say any of these four were the traitor it would not be a big emotional impact on us so there all eliminated.

Uraraka

I heard a theory going around we’re uraraka could be a traitor and I honestly think it’s a possible and it would make sense.

I don’t think she the traitor for one reason her parents. Ok so here me out Uraraka whole thing is she wants to help her parents live an easy life. She becomes a hero for the money is her reasoning. And I guess you could say uraraka could be bribed with money to go on the villains side but honestly that doesn’t seem like something she would do. Her fight with toga during the training camp also made me think she couldn’t be a traitor. And maybe reasoning for uraraka are weird here but let me explain. Toga took uraraka blood. Witch is weird in my opinion. If there on the same side why would toga take her blood? Simple no reason uraraka would most likely give toga her blood if needed. So I know that’s not sound reasoning but it just stuck out to me. Agina with manga spoilers there was a sense in the manga were it was pretty much just uraraka and toga fighting no one around.

Asui

I know people think she could be the traitor but I just don’t see it. Shigarki almost killed her and if Aizawa hadn’t stop his quirk she would be a pile of ashes. Now I mentioned before that the traitor reports to all for one but not Shigarki but I do believe Shigarki has a faint idea on who the traitor is. And Audi seems to be smart enough to to know once he tried to kill her that she would back away from it.

Mina

Ok so Mina is in this photo and she knows about this tracker and she close friends with bakugo. We get to know a little bit about her through Kirishima POV when she stoops a bunch of bully’s and saves her friend from a villain. Honestly that’s the only evidence I could find on her there nothing really for or against her.

Kaminari

I personally don’t think he a traitor but there is evidence on both ways. But due to recent manga events (he’s not dead but like savoy injured) I do not think he’s the traitor and it just doesn’t make sense to me why kamianri would be the traitor though we do know very little about him so I guess it possibly but I dont think it him. He might have been the traitor and later quit being the traitor.

Hagkure

She also not in this photo. I know what your going to say she the invisible girl she could sneak around. Ok but here me out the traitor had to know about the tracker. Why? All for one was prepare for the hero’s when they attacked the warehouse and as I mentioned above the traitor report to all for one not Shigarki. Hagkure was also nocked out by mustered gas she could not have know about the tracker.

Jirou

She was also nocked out by Musters gas so she could not have know about the tracker so she couldn’t be the traitor we also see her parents who are both musicians I belive. So she in the clear

So we narrowed it down so who do we have left???

Shoji

Ok so here me out I can explain. He’s the one I think is the traitor why? Simple he already serves to be the traitor the guy who wrote bnha mentioned he had a shoji arc planed out. But that’s not enough evidence so here the evidence my sleep deprived brain gather

Makes sure he's not in detention for summer camp so he can make things run smoothly. Funnily EXACTLY in the middle of the class as far as grades, not the best and not the worst. Perfect to stay out of notice.

He wasting seen at the hot springs in this sense could be making a phone call to someone.

Ok so here where it gets tricky he was injured during the summer camp. I don’t think the league members know who the traitor is. Why? In case they get kidnapped they won’t give up the information.

So moon fish could have attacked them without looking suspicious. in regards to dark shadows when Tokoyami lost control he was just standing there until he ran into Midoriya.

Also Think about it, what else was shouji doing? He knew that he could move dark shadow with sound so why wasn't he moving darks shadow away from base camp, we can see from the map that shouji was actually moving dark shadow CLOSER to the epicentre.

Also How the fuck did he not hear Tokoyami and bakugo being kidnapped?? This guy could hear bare feet on give flours up!!

When mr compress loses Tokoyami and backugo, shouji could have grabbed both, he has multiple arms, he could have easily grabbed them both. He only grabbed Tokoyami (who wasn’t even the main focus of the mission) giving him the perfect allaby as someone that tried to save them and managed rescue someone while letting their TRUE objective be taken.Another thing Shoji room is bare in case he needs to get up at a moments notice.

Quirk

His quirk allows him heightened hearing, can easily overhear light footsteps through multiple walls and floors as show in the training exercise. This means he could easily eavesdrop on teachers and all might from rooms away.

Also what’s under his mask (maybe he’s all for ones secret love child or something and that’s why he wears a mask!!!)

My biggest evidence

This poem is where shojii got his name from its a poem and re read the lines “beware the man you think you know” sounds suspicious huh.

This is my evidence that shoji octopus dude is the UA traitor and before you say the guy who wrote my hero academia forgot the traitor I would like to say this man had literally planned out everything so no.

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feel-the-sunset · 4 years ago

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Always (WYEL)

Summary: After three long years, the lovers met again.

Pairing: Han Tae Joo x Kang Gook

Genre: boyfriend au, fluff, smut

Warnings: mature content, first kiss, a lot of kissing, swearing, first time, handjobs, anal fingering, anal sex, flashbacks, childhood memories, mentions of death and angels

Word count: 13.1k

A/N: hello there! I fell in love with this amazing serie, the cast, the plot, everything, and I was SO happy about the happy ending. Deep down we all wanted more than just one kiss (and we all want that second season dammit) so I decided to make a scenario of what could've happened after the last episode, 8. But before that...

Fact one: I haven’t written a lot of fanfics, I’m more of a reading type of person. Fact two: this is my first time EVER writing anything in here, so I still don’t have any idea what I should do, but I’ll get there haha. Fact three: my native language is finnish, so after writing I translated this to english. Fact four: my first time writing a smut scene, let’s see how it goes.

I hope you’ll like this and that this heals your after-serie-ends-depression even a little bit.

The final lines used from episode 8 are found from Vimeo.

Written by feel-the-sunset. Do not repost, translate or edit! I also posted this on ao3: feel_the_sunrise.

There are times when people say time goes by quickly. When you're working and notice the year changes to the next one. When you're waiting for specific day or event for months and months and it finally arrives. When you go through the photos you've taken and find out you took them months ago. Where all that time went, you might think.

But when you don’t know when the important person to you will come back, time won’t go by quickly. It seems to stop. Days and months always move on to the next, but it feels like you’re living the same days over and over again.

Three years. 36 months. 1095 days. It's a long time to miss someone. Too long. Especially when all that time you're unable to contact that person. No calls, messages, photos, emails. Nothing. How do people cope with it? How do they live with it? How can they wait for something they have no knowledge of coming true? Does that feeling of longing ever make it easier? Perhaps. Or perhaps not.

As Kang Gook's eyes lingered in the sleeping boy lying beside him, he knew he was able to make it because of love. After three long years, Tae Joo was finally in his arms. He belonged there, had always belonged. It had required for Kang Gook for a long time to admit that to himself. There had been a lot of obstacles along the way. And someone...

Tae Joo's father knew nothing about his return to Korea. Tae Joo didn’t even know how his father was doing. Kang Gook didn't know either. Shortly after Tae Joo left, he had no longer needed to work as a bodyguard, so he had resigned and moved to work at Hye Min’s mother’s restaurant. The new environment with people who were close to him had made him feel better.

Tae Joo had always been on his mind. What was he doing right now? Did he eat enough? Did he sleep well? Was he safe? Many questions had rotated in his mind. Although the bodyguard title had been history right after he left, Kang Gook wasn't able to do nothing for his feelings. He would always be, to some extent, the bodyguard of Tae Joo.

Tae Joo moved in his sleep closer to Kang Gook. He slept peacefully, one hand under the pillow, the other on Kang Gook's chest. It was already past midnight, but Kang Gook couldn't sleep. He was afraid to close his eyes. What if all this was just a dream? What if after waking up Tae Joo was no longer by his side, but still in England? What if his return hadn't really happened? He didn’t want to lose him a second time.

Slowly, Kang Gook placed his hand on top of Tae Joo's, gently stroking his warm hand with his thumb. Kang Gook couldn't help but smile a little. It was all real. Tae Joo really was there. He really had been there.

"You had your location tracking turned off."

Wait a minute. What? That voice... It couldn't be. No way.

Kang Gook turned his gaze towards the voice he had heard, and noticed a familiar person sitting near him. The person got up from the swing and walked closer to the water that opened calmly in front of them.

"Why did you come here, all miserable?"

Kang Gook couldn't take his eyes off him. Han Tae Joo. Was it really him? Or was he dreaming? Did he really see Tae Joo standing in front of him? After the person turned his gaze to Kang Gook, he took off his cap. At that moment, Kang Gook's eyes brightened. It really was him!

“You’ve gotten more handsome.” Tae Joo commented. That smile on his lips made the butterflies in Kang Gook's stomach flutter.

"Are you going to Japan? I told you to find another rice cake place. Why are you running away?" Tae Joo asked with his soft voice.

God, how much Kang Gook had missed that voice.

Kang Gook couldn't speak. It was as if the cat had taken his tongue. It all felt so unreal. Like a dream. Was the person he saw in front of him really real? He didn't know what to say. His head was full of questions.

Kang Gook got up from the swing and walked closer to Tae Joo. The closer he walked, the stranger he felt. Was three years really passed? Had Tae Joo finally come back to him?

"You took your time coming." Kang Gook replied as he stood in front of Tae Joo. He hadn't changed in any way. Those beautiful brown eyes looked at him in exactly the same way as they did three years ago. The smile on his reddened lips hadn't lost its influence.

"You have to run away together with me. It was our wish." Tae Joo said, and Kang Gook couldn't agree more.

Kang Gook had so much to say to Tae Joo. He wanted Tae Joo to know how much he had missed him. His presence, voice, smile, laughter. Late night bouts, the time together. His warm body against his own. Everything.

For some reason, not a word came out of his mouth. It was hard for him to believe that Tae Joo really stood in front of him, as handsome as ever.

Kang Gook’s train of thoughts were stopped by the hand of Tae Joo, which moved to brush his earlobe. It did its job. Like every time. Relaxed. Suddenly everything was really clear. Kang Gook knew how to express his feelings in the best possible way, so in one quick motion, he pulled Tae Joo into a long kiss from his neck.

For a long time Kang Gook had wondered how kissing Tae Joo would feel. How his lips would feel against his own. But now that he finally dared to do it, it was more than he could've imagined. Tae Joo responded immediately to the kiss. Tae Joo's lips were plump, so soft. Their lips snapped together like two puzzle pieces. The lip balm Tae Joo used mixed with their kiss, making it sweeter. It was all true. Perfect.

Kang Gook finally kissed the man he had wanted to kiss for so long. His first kiss. After 18 years of friendship, Kang Gook finally dared to show his feelings in a way he had long dreamed of.

After a while, they parted from the kiss. There was a tender, loving smile playing on both of their lips. Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's warm breath against his lips. His lips were moist from the kiss and a little redder. He wanted to kiss him again. And so he did.

They closed their eyes at the same time. This time there was more power in the kiss. Longing. They both wanted to tell with a kiss how much they had missed the other. For three years both had been waiting for this moment, and now that moment was finally there.

Kang Gook didn't want to let go of Tae Joo. His grip on the boy's neck tightened, as did the grip on his waist. He felt Tae Joo's hands wrap tighter around him. Time seemed to stop. There were only them.

The oxygen was running out, and even if neither wanted to separate from the kiss, in order to be able to kiss again in the future, they had to separate from the kiss. The hands remained around the other. Brown eyes looked at the other brown ones.

"I missed you." Kang Gook said. It was actually a mild expression. Nothing in the world would ever properly express how much he had missed Tae Joo by his side. Not even those three words.

"I missed you too. So much." Tae Joo said. Kang Gook was able to see tears in Tae Joo's eyes. He had always hated to see the boy cry, 'cause it usually meant he wasn’t feeling okay. Tae Joo’s happiness and well-being were more important than his own happiness and well-being. It always had been.

Kang Gook wrapped his arms tightly around Tae Joo, letting him bury his face to his neck. Tae Joo’s hair smelled like vanilla, mixed with his own scent. That scent was the same one that had smelled on their bed sheets long after Tae Joo had left. During the nights, when Kang Gook had missed Tae Joo next to him, he had buried his face in his pillow, and allowed himself to cry. He never cried. But because of Tae Joo, he cried. After a few days, that scent had disappeared from the sheets. From the clothes Tae Joo hadn't taken with him.

But now, when that boy in his arms had come back with that charming scent, Kang Gook was sure. He was head over heels in love with the boy in his arms.

After a long wait, those sheets finally smelled like the boy whom Kang Gook couldn't take his eyes off. That young man looked like a little boy while sleeping. So adorable. Kang Gook couldn't believe that even earlier today he had packed his bags to go to Japan to get over Tae Joo.

It all seemed ridiculous now. How could've he been able to do something that was completely impossible? How had he even been able to think about getting over the man he loved when he had promised to come back? Kang Gook wanted to kick himself. He would never give up when it came to Tae Joo.

Kang Gook didn’t know how long he had been awake, but he needed some water. Carefully, he moved Tae Joo's hand from his chest, pushed the blanket aside, and got out of the bed.

Since Kang Gook no longer worked for Tae Joo's father, he also no longer lived under his roof. Tae Joo’s father had always paid him well for being a bodyguard, even though he had never been interested in the amount of money. With that money, however, he had been able to rent himself a cute, small apartment near Seoul, yet far from Tae Joo’s father. He had not wanted to run into him or his men. His apartment was suitable for him, but not permanent. It was meant to be only temporary. And now that Tae Joo had come back, Kang Gook had begun to rethink his future. But what could he think of? That was the biggest question.

He and Tae Joo hadn't talked properly about anything after coming back to his apartment. What was going to happen now? What was the situation between them? Had Tae Joo come back to stay permanently? Will Tae Joo be a part of his future? He had too many questions in his mind. So much had happened that day that it had all turned into one big pile of questions inside his head, disturbing his sleep. Maybe everything would look brighter in the morning when he's able to talk about these things together with Tae Joo.

Kang Gook took a glass from the kitchen cabinet, and poured water into it. The full moon shone white in the sky, it lit up directly through his kitchen window. It was 2am on Saturday morning. Luckily, he had that weekend off.

He enjoyed working in Hye Min’s mother’s restaurant, but it wasn’t his dream job. Taking care of the safety of foods and drinks to customers’ tables was a little different than taking care of humans' safety. However, he liked helping them, and Kang Gook knew for Hye Min's mother he was like her own son. The restaurant had gained a lot of popularity in recent years and was visited by a lot of customers. Hye Min teased Kang Gook several times that one reason for it was himself. You're so handsome, didn't you notice how those girls looked at you? She often said. Kang Gook didn’t care much about Hye Min’s comments, 'cause he didn’t care about girls. Instead, he had always cared about one particular one.

Hye Min herself was doing fine, and she was dating Kim Pil Hyun. Kang Gook had been furious with him at first, because he had been the one who had told Tae Joo’s father what had happened between them in the school backyard. What had almost happened. Kang Gook hadn’t wanted to see him for a while. Everything that had happened had felt bad. Seeing people, talking to them, everything. After all, he hadn't been able to blame Pil Hyun, 'cause the situation between them would've become apparent to Tae Joo’s father sooner or later. There was no more resentment between them, and Kang Gook wasn't angry with him. Although Pil Hyun had felt like a jerk at first, he wasn't such a horrible guy after all.

"Kang Gook."

After hearing a sleepy voice saying his name, he turned around. Tae Joo's sleepy figure stood on the bedroom doorway, his eyes half covered with dark hair. He looked so sweet. Kang Gook would've just wanted to pull the boy into his embrace. Only seeing that boy made him feel better.

"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook said. He hadn't heard him getting out of bed. "What are you doing awake? You should sleep."

"So do you."

I know.

"I wasn't able to fall asleep, so I got up to get some water. Go back to sleep." Kang Gook asked and lowered his glass into the sink.

"Only if you come with me." Tae Joo decided, reaching out his hand towards Kang Gook. Kang Gook stared at Tae Joo's beautiful, sleepy eyes, his hand, and again his eyes. What Tae Joo wanted, he would get it. And Kang Gook wasn't going to argue against it.

He took a couple of required steps toward Tae Joo, and took his hand in his. Tae Joo led them back under the white sheets, and without saying a word, buried himself against Kang Gook's chest. Kang Gook wrapped his arms around his little body, stroking his back. Just like he had done a million times before. It felt so natural.

"I've missed this." Tae Joo said against Kang Gook's warm chest, breaking the silence. "Being close to you, like this. I missed everything about you. Everything."

Kang Gook swallowed the piece that had risen to his throat. He knew what Tae Joo meant, he had missed that same thing. Talking about feelings had never been Kang Gook’s strength. He knew that Tae Joo wanted to hear about his feelings. Kang Gook knew he owed it to him.

"I've missed this too. You." Kang Gook gasped. He felt Tae Joo's lips curl into a smile against his shirt. Tae Joo's grip around Kang Gook tightened. He felt his other arm press against his ribs, but in that situation he didn't care. If that boy wanted to hug him until his ribs broke, he gave permission. He could only hug him back.

Kang Gook bit his lower lip. He had so many questions. But would he get an answer to all of them? Talking about things at night was hardly the best time in the world, but Kang Gook couldn't resist himself.

"What happens next?" Escaped from Kang Gook's lips. He wanted to know. He needed to know.

Silence filled the bedroom. For a moment, Kang Gook thought he had hurt Tae Joo with his question, but soon he looked up from Kang Gook's chest into his eyes. Kang Gook tried to read Tae Joo from his eyes, but wasn't able to do it.

"I’m not entirely sure." Tae Joo said quietly. "Three years ago, I promised you I'll come back. And I did. I kept my promise to my father, and now I'm free. And I want to be free with you."

Kang Gook felt exactly the same. Most of all in the world, he wanted to be with Tae Joo.

"I know this all came as a surprise. I didn't inform you or even ask Pil Hyun to tell that I was coming back. I... I can't assume that suddenly after three years everything would be back to normal. That everything would be fine again. That you suddenly want me back. You might have someone special in your life, and I wouldn't be surprised. You're so handsome, everyone would be on their knees in front of you. After all, I would have to accept it if you don't want to be with me or if - "

"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook interrupted by lowering his hand on Tae Joo's cheek. That touch caused Tae Joo to lift his gaze back to the other boy's eyes. He knew. He talked too much.

"You have to run away together with me. It was our wish." Kang Gook said, using Tae Joo's earlier words. "Our wish." He continued.

Tae Joo couldn't help but smile. Our wish.

"You know that I've always been bad at talking about my own feelings but... During these three years, my feelings for you hasn't changed at all. I waited for you, because I wanted to be with you, and I still do. And I haven't had anyone else after you left." Kang Gook admitted.

Kang Gook had wanted to be loyal to Tae Joo, though he hadn't been sure when Tae Joo would come back. During those three years he had met people, but he had never been interested in any of them. He hadn’t even wanted to find anyone else, because the only one he wanted had been 8,858 kilometers away from him.

They had made a promise. But still, Kang Gook was scared. Had Tae Joo had anyone in England during those three years? The idea that someone other than him would've touched that boy made his blood boil. Of course, Kang Gook wanted Tae Joo to always be happy, but he wanted him to be happy with him.

Tae Joo was relieved. Every day in England, he had thought about Kang Gook. Had his father done anything to him? Was he okay? Who was he with? The only thing he had been waiting for during those three years, was to get back to that boy. He was glad to hear that Kang Gook hadn't had anyone else.

"Me neither." Tae Joo said, his eyes looking at Kang Gook's own. Tae Joo noticed something changing in his gaze after his words. Relief.

"How could I've had someone else, when all I've ever wanted, is right here?" Tae Joo asked, laying his hand back on Kang Gook's chest, on top of his heart. They stared into each other's eyes. They both felt the same way.

Their lips met. Affectionately. Lovingly. They both wanted each other in many ways, and now they knew each other’s feelings. That was a good place to start.

Feeling other's lips against own ones felt so good. Tae Joo knew it was all new to Kang Gook, because he had never dated. Or kissed. Until now. His body tingled knowing he had given Kang Gook his first kiss that day.

Kissing Tae Joo felt wonderful. Kang Gook didn't know that kissing someone would feel like this. It was such a good feeling. The prolonged kiss slowed down, and in the end there were only two lips touching each other gently.

"So, have you really come back to stay?" Kang Gook asked after the kiss ended.

Do you really still need an answer to that, silly? Tae Joo thought with a smile.

He nodded. "Yes."

Kang Gook felt so happy. After a long wait, Tae Joo was finally back, and he wouldn’t let him go again.

"This feels like a dream. I..."

Tae Joo looked at Kang Gook, waiting. He hadn't said the end of his sentence.

"What?" Tae Joo asked. He had always known how difficult it was for Kang Gook to talk about his own feelings. Tae Joo wanted to give him time. He wanted Kang Gook to know that he was there for him, listening.

"It's just hard to imagine you're really here. I missed you so much. I was afraid you wouldn't come back. I was... I was broken. The night I watched you leave the bedroom was the most horrible night of my life. In three years I cried more than ever in my life. Many times I wanted to travel to England and find you, bring you back home, but I knew I couldn't do it. It just feels so unreal that you really are here now."

It was time for Kang Gook to open his heart.

"I felt you everywhere. Being in our apartment felt awful. I saw your stuff everywhere, the sheets and the clothes you left smelled like you. Pil Hyun's face made me hate that guy even more, because they reminded me of you. You were no longer asking me to buy you chocolate milk, or to make you an omelet for breakfast, or to take late night bouts. You were no longer by my side so I could look at your sleeping face, or keep you in my arms. Suddenly you were completely gone."

Tears filled Tae Joo's eyes. He was hurt. They were hurt. It was probably the first time Kang Gook had opened up that way about his feelings. Kang Gook had never been the opening type of guy, but now Tae Joo knew how many things Kang Gook had to go through after he left. All those thoughts inside were finally able to come out. Because of Tae Joo’s father, who hadn’t wanted his own son to be happy, they had lost three years of their future together.

Tae Joo couldn’t know exactly how Kang Gook had felt, but he had thought about exactly the same things. Everyday life without Kang Gook next to him, as a friend or a bodyguard, had felt so strange. Empty. Something very important had been missing. There hadn't been anyone he knew in England, he had been lonely for a long time. Even from school, he had decided to survive with Kang Gook in his mind.

Knowing Kang Gook had cried himself to sleep, broke his heart. Tae Joo was able to count those times he had seen Kang Gook cry with the fingers of one hand. On their last night together three years ago, Kang Gook’s eyes had been full of tears. Tae Joo knew during that night Kang Gook had tried stay strong. He had always been the stronger one. He hadn't wanted to give power to his tears. Kang Gook had always been the one who hadn't let his shield to crack, and who had always been there for Tae Joo when he had needed a shoulder to cry against.

Kang Gook rarely cried. That one moment, which happened 15 years ago, had been the first time he had seen Kang Gook cry. And even then, Kang Gook had cried for him.

The day had been cloudy and chilly. It rained a little. Tae Joo heard how Mother Nature watered the earth. He didn't hear anything else.

Tae Joo layed on his bed, curled up, facing the wall. His pillow under his head was damp. He had been crying for a long time. He missed his mother, whom they had had to say goodbye earlier that day. There had been his father, his grandparents, and other relatives whose names Tae Joo wasn't able to remember. And of course, Kang Gook.

Tae Joo had been sitting on a hard bench in a large space surrounded by other people, holding Kang Gook by his hand. His father had sat next to him with an empty expression, looking down. In front of the large space had been a white coffin with a large, framed picture of Tae Joo's mother in front of it. There had been many different flowers on top of the coffin. Everyone had been dressed in black. There had been music playing in the space that had been brand new to Tae Joo. As well as the whole situation itself.

Tae Joo heard the door of his room open and close soon after. Someone walked closer to his bed, and soon the mattress on the bed sank lower. Someone had come next to him. Tae Joo knew who.

"Tae Joo-ya." Tae Joo heard the child's voice say his name. He opened his eyes and turned to his friend. Brown eyes faced the other ones. They also looked sad.

"Don't cry, okay? I want you to smile." Kang Gook asked, wiping his friend's wet cheeks with his fingers. Kang Gook felt bad to see his best friend cry.

"But I want my mom." Tae Joo howled, crying, new tears streaming from his eyes to his cheeks.

Kang Gook moved to lie down properly next to Tae Joo, and took him in his arms. Tae Joo pressed against his friend's chest.

"It's okay. You don't have to worry. I'm here." Kang Gook said and stroked Tae Joo's black hair. "I'm sad when you cry. Don't cry."

"Where did my mom go? Why isn't she here?" Tae Joo asked his friend.

"She became an angel." Kang Gook said.

"An angel?" Tae Joo didn’t quite understand what his friend meant.

"Yes, an angel. So I've heard. When a human becomes an angel, they go to heaven to see the other angels. They, too, are humans. And then they look down at us from the clouds." Kang Gook explained. He had heard such a story himself.

Inside of his mind of a kid he thought about the story Kang Gook told him. Some things were still hard for him to understand, but if Kang Gook was sure of it, then Tae Joo was too.

"Why doesn't she come here to see us?" Tae Joo asked.

"Angels stay in heaven, and we, before we become angels, stay here on earth. We can't climb to heaven, can we? So they can't come down here to us. It's sad." Kang Gook said.

Little by little, Tae Joo began to understand what Kang Gook was saying. It still didn’t take away his longing. He missed his mother so much. He was the most beautiful angel in the world. So warm, caring and happy.

"Will I ever meet her again?" Tae Joo asked, sobbing.

"Yes, of course. I don't know when, but for sure one day." Kang Gook said. "I'm sorry that your mom turned into an angel, but I'll always be with you."

"But..." Tae Joo panicked and raised his head from Kang Gook's chest, looking at his friend lying next to him. "What if you'll become an angel too, and I won't be able to see you anymore?" He was so afraid that would suddenly happen.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I promise. I'll always be here with you." Kang Gook promised.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"Always?"

"Always."

That was enough.

Soon Tae Joo fell asleep in Kang Gook's arms. There was only a small breathing to be heard in the room. The rain had stopped. Kang Gook watched his sleeping friend, who no longer cried. Instead, one tear rolled down Kang Gook's cheek, and he sniffed. He thought no one had heard him, but that voice had been the last Tae Joo had heard before he fell asleep.

After growing up from the age of 6, they had both realized Tae Joo’s mother had died of cancer. She had died peacefully while sleeping. Tae Joo had never been close with his father, and many things had changed since his mother died. Over the years, Kang Gook had been the one who had covered Tae Joo in bed, made him food, helped him in his daily life, took care of him. Helped with his homework and to fold his clothes, looked after him at school. Through the difficult years Tae Joo wouldn't have survived without the support of Kang Gook. For years, he had been a support and security for Tae Joo, from kindergarten life to the age of 21. And he still would be. That was the thing Tae Joo was most grateful for.

"Kang Gook." Tae Joo said gently.

He listened.

"I can't even imagine how you must have felt. But the truth is that I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. I came to stay. I came because of you. I want to be with you and only with you. I'm free from my father, just like you are. He can't prescribe us anymore. The time in England felt so long. I missed and thought about you every day. I was in contact with Pil Hyun, I knew my father would accept it, but I couldn't risk your safety. I couldn't contact you, my father would've found out somehow. I didn't even want to think he would hurt you again because of my own mistakes. I'm sure he had sent some of his men after me to England to make sure I kept my promise with him. And so I did, because I had to. But there wasn't a single day that I wouldn't have thought about you. Believe me."

Kang Gook believed. How could he not?

"I'm sure that our future is bright. And you're my future. We can do this together." Tae Joo said. He couldn't get his eyes off Kang Gook.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

They both believed in it.

The hand on Tae Joo's cheek moved to brush Kang Gook's lower lip. Kang Gook couldn't help but stare at the other boy's plump lips. He would've liked to kiss him all the time. It felt so good.

And it was as if Tae Joo had read his thoughts at that moment, 'cause soon he felt him pressing his lips tightly against his own. This kiss was different. It had a lot more power in it. Want.

For a long time, Kang Gook had had strong feelings for Tae Joo. Even his innocent touch had made shivers run all over his body. Sometimes being with Tae Joo had been awkward, 'cause he had desperately wanted that boy. Not only mentally, but physically. But thinking about the circumstances, he had thought he couldn’t touch that adorable boy in his arms. There had been too many obstacles. Too many risks. He hadn't wanted to risk their friendship.

Those times when he had taken late night bouts with Tae Joo, when he had asked him to hug him and hold him in his arms, when he had asked him to wash his hair, or when they had looked into each other’s eyes a little longer than usual. Each time Kang Gook had wanted to kiss him. Tell him about his true feelings. He just hadn't been able to do it.

But now everything was different.

Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's tongue play with his lower lip. It felt new. What was he supposed to do? He did as he felt best, and opened his lips.

A sigh came from his lips as he felt Tae Joo's tongue play with his own. God, how good it felt. Was this that angry kiss? Was this the way it felt like? Kang Gook had never experienced anything like this. It felt better than he had ever imagined.

Their kisses had turned wet. Both tried to dominate the kiss. The tongues played with each other, there was no need for oxygen. At the same time, Kang Gook felt Tae Joo move on top of him, between his legs. Oh my God.

Kang Gook felt like his whole body was on fire. He felt his lower body tingle, and he knew what it meant. He wanted that boy.

"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook breathed against Tae Joo's lips. They were wet and swollen from the kisses. Tae Joo reluctantly pulled back from the kiss, but their lips were only millimeters away from each other. The look in Tae Joo’s eyes was something he hadn’t seen before.

"Tae Joo-ya, I..." Kang Gook hissed. He was sure Tae Joo felt his erection against his hips as he was completely attached to his body and the fabric of their pajama pants was thin.

"I know." Tae Joo said briefly. "Kang Gook, I want you too. I've wanted for a long time."

Kang Gook swallowed. You can't be serious. Would it really happen? Now? Tonight? Tae Joo knew he was a virgin, he had never been with anyone. Kang Gook was nervous. What if he did something wrong? What if he was bad? What if he hurt Tae Joo? He wanted to be the best possible partner for him, to treat him right in the future and make him feel good. Was he enough?

Kang Gook lied if he said he had never thought about them two intimately. It had just been a mere thought, but nonetheless made his crotch come to life every time. He knew Tae Joo, too, was a virgin, even though he had been kissing girls here and then, but things had never gone further. Kang Gook wanted his first time to be with Tae Joo, and that boy lying on top of him radiated a similar want. Want to touch, want to be touched.

"Kang Gook." Tae Joo uttered.

Kang Gook looked at his best friend's brown eyes. He was sure that Tae Joo could read him through his eyes.

"It's okay. Everything is fine. Don't be afraid. You can't hurt me." Tae Joo said with a small smile.

Kang Gook wanted to believe him, but he was still nervous. It would be his first time. For both of them. And they would do it together. The thought made cold shivers pass through Kang Gook's body.

"Actually..." Tae Joo said, and Kang Gook noticed his tone changed. It sounded seductive. At the same time, Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's lips on his neck. Soft lips kissed his delicate skin. "I've wanted you for years, even before I went to England. I always imagined my first time to be with you." Tae Joo purred.

Kang Gook felt like he was going to explode. Literally. The pressure in his pants already seemed unbearable, and the way Tae Joo pushed his hips slightly against his own made him dizzy. His grip on Tae Joo's hips tightened.

"Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook breathed as he felt Tae Joo sucking his earlobe. Fucking hell. Tae Joo did it on purpose. He knew what Kang Gook's delicate spot was. Kang Gook couldn't describe how he felt. Not even the word awesome could describe it enough.

"I want you too." Kang Gook was finally able to sigh. After all this time, those words were finally allowed to say out loud. "So much."

As Tae Joo kissed his neck, Kang Gook felt his lips curl into a smile against his skin. Tae Joo retreated so that he could look Kang Gook in the eyes. There was a pure want in his eyes. And also something else. Love.

"Take me." Tae Joo breathed. And after hearing that, Kang Gook no longer objected.

In one quick move, Kang Gook pulled Tae Joo from the neck into a long, passionate kiss. It was just tongue and spit. Now that Kang Gook knew what kissing Tae Joo felt like, he couldn’t and didn’t even want to stop.

Kang Gook's other, trembling hand slipped under Tae Joo's shirt. His skin was so soft, so warm. For so long he had dreamed of touching Tae Joo elsewhere than just on top of his clothes, and now all that touching was finally allowed. As Tae Joo felt Kang Gook's touch on his bare skin, he couldn't stop the sigh of pleasure that had escaped from his lips. It all felt so good. So right.

Tae Joo sat better on Kang Gook's hips to help him take off his shirt. Tae Joo noticed Kang Gook's eyes circling on his bare chest.

"You’ve seen me like this so many times before." Tae Joo teased with a sly smile on his lips.

"I know, but I've never been able to touch you like this before." Kang Gook said, pulling Tae Joo back to his lips, not giving him a chance to respond.

Kang Gook rolled them over on bed to get himself on top. Tae Joo made more space between his legs, and his hands found the other boy's hips, pulling him more tightly against himself. It was clear what was going to happen. They both wanted each other just as much.

The feeling of Tae Joo’s hands sliding from his hips under his shirt, to caress his bare sides, chest and hips, wasn't able to be described. Tae Joo’s touch felt like an electric shock of pleasure. Kang Gook wanted more and more.

Tae Joo pulled Kang Gook’s shirt up as much as he could, and reluctantly Kang Gook took off his grip from the other boy. Kang Gook let Tae Joo take off his shirt. A breath came from Tae Joo's lips. He couldn't get his eyes off Kang Gook's gorgeous body. Tae Joo raised his hand on Kang Gook's muscular shoulders, letting them slide down, through his abdominal muscles to his hips. Tae Joo's touch had made Kang Gook to close his eyes. The warm touch of Tae Joo had made his body tingle. No matter where or how that boy touched him, he felt it everywhere.

"You can't be real."

Kang Gook heard Tae Joo saying, and he opened his eyes. Tae Joo's gaze circled around his bare upper body.

"All this time you've looked like this. How is it possible you haven't had anyone?" Tae Joo wondered out loud.

That boy in front of him looked divine. Kang Gook had always been physically stronger than him. His body had been in a good shape years ago, but the last few years had changed his body. The young man had grown more muscular. Kang Gook had spent a lot of time in the gym when Tae Joo had been in England, and it showed. Kang Gook’s muscular body was so opposite to Tae Joo’s own, small and slender body. Kang Gook looked too good to be true.

"Because all this time, I've always wanted one particular one."

Tae Joo looked up from the other boy's body into his eyes. Kang Gook's words meant more to him than he could show. All he could do was to put his hand around his neck and pull him back to his lips.

Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's bare chest against his own. Their nipples rubbed together, as did their hips. They both felt each other’s erections through the fabric of their pajamas. It caused shivers run through their bodies. Tae Joo moved his other hand over Kang Gook's hand, directing it to the waist of his pants. Kang Gook realized what Tae Joo wanted, but he still wanted his permission.

Gently Kang Gook pulled back from the passionate kiss. Their eyes met once again.

"Are you sure you want this?" Kang Gook asked. He wanted Tae Joo to say with words what he wanted.

Tae Joo had no doubt about what he wanted. The painful erection in his pants and that gorgeous boy on top of him told everything.

"Yes, I'm sure. I want this. I trust you, Kang Gook. I've always trusted."

Kang Gook felt his hands tremble as he took a grip on the waist of Tae Joo’s pants. Was he really going to do this? Undress his best friend? Of course they had seen each other naked many times, but back then they had been children. The child's mind couldn't consider nudity in any way "weird" or combine it with anything. But this situation was completely different. For the first time, Kang Gook would see Tae Joo naked that way.

They were going to break their last boundaries of friendship. After 18 years of friendship, there was much more going on. Real feelings. Not just innocent friendship.

Swallowing and encouraging himself, Kang Gook finally dared to pull off Tae Joo’s pajama pants along with his boxers.

Kang Gook breathed. He couldn't help but stare. There he was. His best friend, on his bed, naked. Really naked. Tae Joo's body was more beautiful than he could've even imagined. His erection stood hard and red against his lower stomach. Tae Joo had shaved. Kang Gook couldn't describe that sight in front of him with words. He could only touch.

His hand met Tae Joo's silky thigh. Tae Joo's eyes pressed shut and his head arched against the pillow. Every touch of Kang Gook felt indescribably good. The pleasure only increased as he felt Kang Gook's lips against his bare hips, giving the skin open-mouthed kisses and teasing licks. Tae Joo was hard and desperate. He felt his body tremble at the touch of Kang Gook's lips.

Tae Joo’s skin under Kang Gook’s fingertips and lips felt so soft. His thumb brushed Tae Joo's thigh while his lips kissed the other boy's body all the way from his hips across his chest towards his neck. Tae Joo felt Kang Gook leaving a damp trail behind him after each kiss. He sighed and hummed with pleasure. It was like music to Kang Gook’s ears.

"You're so beautiful." Kang Gook couldn't help but breathe against Tae Joo's ear. "So beautiful."

Kang Gook was out of words. At that moment, it was difficult for him to put his thoughts properly into words.

As he kissed Tae Joo's neck, Tae Joo's hands fumbled with his pajama pants, and Kang Gook helped him take them off.

Tae Joo wanted to see. He wanted to touch. Gently he pushed Kang Gook further away so that their eyes met. Tae Joo breathed in excitement. Kang Gook had gotten him crazy with lust.

Slowly, Tae Joo moved his gaze from Kang Gook's eyes to his crotch. He swallowed. Kang Gook was big. Hard, leaking, and oh so big. A wave of pleasure passed through Tae Joo's entire body and water rose to his tongue. Without saying a word, he took his other hand to Kang Gook’s erection, and wrapped his fingers tenderly around it.

Kang Gook murmured with pleasure and pressed his head against Tae Joo's shoulder as he felt his hand between his legs. Oh God oh God oh God.

For the first time ever, he felt someone other than his own hand touching him. Tae Joo's hand was so warm, so soft. He knew he would lose the rest of his senses if Tae Joo didn't stop touching him soon. It was too good.

"Tae Joo-ya, please, I'll come too soon if you keep doing that." Kang Gook muttered, and he heard Tae Joo laugh a little. You little tease.

Tae Joo didn’t know where he had gotten the courage to touch the other boy, but he wasn’t sorry about it at all. He felt Kang Gook's precum spreading in the palm of his hand while caressing him, causing a wet noise to be heard in the room. Kang Gook felt so big in his fingers, and he was filled with desire of knowing how he would feel inside of him.

Kang Gook breathed heavily against his shoulder, the pleasure of sighs escaping from his lips. Gently Kang Gook took Tae Joo's hand away from his manhood, and let their fingers intertwine. With the other hand, Tae Joo pressed Kang Gook's body against his own. The feeling when their completely naked bodies pressed together was magical. Far too good to be true. A deep howl escaped from Tae Joo's lips against Kang Gook's own, and he couldn't help but push his hips against his.

Kang Gook himself tried to stay calm. No matter how much he wanted to push himself inside the other boy and make love to him without any barrier, Tae Joo’s desires went before his own. If Tae Joo now said he wanted to stop, or that he didn’t want this, Kang Gook would understand. They were taking the biggest step ever. Hurting the boy lying under him was the last thing he wanted. It would be their first time, and Kang Gook would do anything to make Tae Joo feel good.

Kang Gook broke their kiss, demanding eye contact with Tae Joo. Their foreheads pressed together, the heavy breathing coming out from their mouths.

"You can say no at any time. I don't want to hurt you. Ever."

There was a loving smile on Tae Joo's lips. "I'm sure Kang Gook. I'm not going to say no. I don't want to say no. You're not going to hurt me."

It took Kang Gook a little while before he nodded. "I... I don't have a condom." He admitted quietly. He hadn't prepared for Tae Joo to return to him on that day, nor had he assumed that their first night in three years would lead to this.

Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's hand on his cheek. "It doesn't matter. I want to feel you. All of you." He breathed.

Kang Gook looked into Tae Joo’s beautiful eyes, surrounded by dark, long lashes. That boy lying beneath him evoked feelings in him that he himself found difficult to understand. Tae Joo's words had gone straight to his groin. Soon he would feel his best friend completely. Without any kind of barrier. Even thinking about it made Kang Gook more aroused.

He did what he was addicted to in a short moment: pressed his lips against Tae Joo's own. Tae Joo's hands pulled Kang Gook more tightly against his own body from his neck. They were in no hurry. It was going to be something so special. Something they would never forget. They wanted to take their own time, all that time was for them. At their disposal. And they wanted to enjoy every second.

As he kissed Tae Joo's red lips, Kang Gook fumbled his hand towards the drawer of his nightstand, taking out the bottle of lube. With one hand, he opened the tube, applying in to his fingers. Without opening his eyes, Tae Joo knew what Kang Gook was doing. All the sounds from the drawer of the nightstand to the opening of the tube, said it all.

"Touch me." Tae Joo breathed against Kang Gook's lips, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. Was he nervous? A little. But he trusted Kang Gook more than anyone else, and knew he wouldn’t hurt him. The first time was rarely perfect, but Kang Gook was perfect for him. They would make it perfect for them, together.

Kang Gook knew that Tae Joo knew what he was doing. He had said he trusted him, and wanted this just as much. Kang Gook wanted to look at the boy lying under him when he touched him for the first time. He wanted to remember that moment.

So he touched. His wet fingers found Tae Joo's warm entrance, caressing his most intimate place. Tae Joo sighed with pleasure, his nails dug into Kang Gook's shoulders. His touch felt good. So good. He felt as if his body was no longer controllable, as it was difficult for him to stay in place. His body burned with a desire to feel Kang Gook's wet fingers inside of him.

Kang Gook stared at the sight in front of him. Tae Joo's neck had arched back from the pleasure, little sights escaped from his open mouth. He felt Tae Joo's thighs vibrate beneath him. Pleasure had blinded that boy. Kang Gook wanted to see more of it, so carefully he pushed his middle finger inside.

A yelp coming from Tae Joo's lips filled Kang Gook's bedroom. Kang Gook’s touch felt so new. And being honest, strange. Tae Joo wasn’t sure how he felt, because that feeling was so new to him. Did it hurt? Yes. Somehow. However, the pain wasn't unbearable. He tried to relax his body, because he knew it would help. He needed it to be able to enjoy something completely different soon, than just Kang Gook’s fingers. The boy touching him was big. It would hurt, but he trusted Kang Gook.

Kang Gook couldn't think of anything else than just that beautiful, signing boy underneath him. His eyes looked at his finger, which moved slowly inside of Tae Joo. Kang Gook felt his muscles tighten around his finger. That sight was something so intimate. So arousing. He wasn’t sure how long he would last inside of that boy, if he already felt like this around just one of his fingers. He was so tight and hot. Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's nails digging against his skin, his body was trembling. He knew his finger felt uncomfortable, but he had to prepare Tae Joo for what was yet to come.

Carefully, Kang Gook flexed his finger. He felt he had hit something that caused Tae Joo’s spine to arch backwards. Kang Gook thought he had hurt him, so he stopped his movement. The strange feeling Tae Joo had felt had turned into pleasure when Kang Gook had flexed his finger. It had hit a spot inside of him that had made him see the stars. It had felt good. And he wanted to feel it again.

"Am I hurting?" Kang Gook asked worriedly. He wanted to know if Tae Joo’s noises were caused by pain or pleasure.

Tae Joo shook his head. "No." He gasped. "Keep going."

And he did. Carefully, he added another finger, this time flexing both of them. He didn't look away from Tae Joo's face. He was enjoying it. All Kang Gook was able to see was pure pleasure. Tae Joo’s muscles immediately tightened more strongly after Kang Gook added another finger. He sighed with pleasure. Those two fingers hit that one spot over and over again, causing the shivers of pleasure to run through his entire body. The pain was replaced with something that was hard to describe. Tae Joo had never experienced anything like that. Kang Gook touched him so good, gently and tenderly.

Soon Tae Joo began to feel impatient. Although those two fingers felt good, he wanted to get that boy inside of him. He took a hold from the hand between his legs, and wrapped his hand around Kang Gook's wrist.

"Kang Gook, I'm ready." Tae Joo gasped.

Slowly Kang Gook pulled his fingers from inside him, quickly wiping them on the white sheet. He opened the lube, putting it into his hand and then applying it to his erection. As he did so, Tae Joo looked at him while biting his lower lip. He knew he was ready. Kang Gook settled better between Tae Joo's legs. He felt his erection touch his wet entrance. While being so close to Tae Joo, Kang Gook felt the warmth radiating from him. He was like the sun. His sun.

"Please let me know if it hurts." Kang Gook asked. No. Begged. "I'll stop right away. I promise to be gentle but... Please, tell me."

Kang Gook’s caring was one thing Tae Joo loved. Kang Gook’s tone changed whenever he was worried. It was tender and powerful. It also meant that he cared.

Tae Joo nodded. "I promise."

Kang Gook lowered himself, closer to Tae Joo's face. They looked into each other's eyes. That look they shared was completely new. Kang Gook wanted to look at Tae Joo right in the eye when he pushed inside of him for the first time. It was really going to happen. There was no turning back, but neither of them would've done it at any cost. This is what they both wanted. Had wanted for so long.

When Kang Gook looked at Tae Joo's eyes, he knew where he belonged. Where he had always belonged. They had spent almost their entire lives together, sharing the joys and sorrows of their lives with each other. Been in support of each other on both good and bad days. Although they were different, opposites of each other, they maintained each other. Like Jing and Jang. Inseparable.

"I love you." Kang Gook said without breaking the eye contact.

He felt that moment was perfect for those three words. He had felt that way three years ago, but hadn't been able to say it. If Tae Joo had heard those words back then, he wouldn't have been able to leave to England, and his father would've invented a new way to separate them. It might not have ended happily. But now the situation was different. Kang Gook was the happiest, happiest than he had ever been. And he wanted to share his happiness with that boy he loved so much. Tae Joo deserved to hear those words every day.

Tae Joo felt his heart skip a beat. Hearing those words warmed his heart. He had felt the same way three years ago, but he had been afraid to say them out loud because of his father. Tae Joo wouldn’t have been able to leave their bedroom that night if he had said those three words to that boy. If either of them had said them then, God knows what could've happened. But now Tae Joo could finally say those three words back to a man whose bright eyes looked right at him.

"I love you." Tae Joo breathed as tears filled his eyes, and his hands on Kang Gook's shoulders moved to his cheeks, pulling the boy he loved to his lips. He was so happy. Now those words had been said. It felt so good. They no longer needed to hesitate or question the other’s feelings. They had had to go through a lot over the years. Ups and downs, good and bad days. But now that those three words had finally been said out loud, all that struggle had been worth their love.

Kang Gook pulled away from the long kiss, pressing his forehead against Tae Joo's. Tae Joo's mouth opened with sighs when Kang Gook finally decided to push inside of him little by little. Tae Joo's hands squeezed Kang Gook's shoulders, arms, neck, and everywhere where he was able to take a hold from. His eyes closed tightly. It hurt. It really hurt. Tae Joo didn’t know how to be, what to do or what to say. He could only gasp in pain and cling to the man on top of him. Kang Gook felt so big. He knew he was trying not to hurt him, but the first time was always difficult. Tae Joo tried to relax his body.

After hearing those three words back from the other boy's mouth, Kang Gook's mind had filled with a warm feeling. The feeling had only grown as Tae Joo pulled him back to his lips. At the same time, Kang Gook had decided to make his last move, and push inside of the other boy. That feeling was hard to be described. That warmth, softness and tightness. Kang Gook saw the stars. It felt so good. He felt Tae Joo’s muscles tighten around his erection. The groans and sighs from Tae Joo's lips filled his ears, and Kang Gook looked at his face. The look on Tae Joo's face told everything. He was in pain.

Kang Gook wanted to make Tae Joo feel better, so he pressed his lips back against his own. Their tongues immediately found each other. The kisses were wet. Kang Gook tried to relax Tae Joo with the kisses, as his body felt so stiff. Tae Joo's hands found their way back to Kang Gook's neck, pressing the other boy more tightly to his lips. He felt so full. Kang Gook was far from small, and it took some time to get used to that whole new feeling.

"Are you okay? Am I hurting you a lot?" Kang Gook asked quietly against his lips. He hadn’t pushed completely inside of him, but he stayed still, giving Tae Joo time to get used to it.

"It hurts a bit. Ouh, you're so big." Tae Joo gasped, squeezing the back of Kang Gook's neck with his fingers. He could only wait for the pain to be replaced by pleasure. He wanted to be able to enjoy that moment as much as Kang Gook did. "Keep going."

"Are you sure?" Kang Gook asked hesitantly. If the pain Tae Joo felt was too much for him, they could stop.

Tae Joo had lost his count of how many times Kang Gook had asked was he okay or not that night. He was so caring.

"I'm sure. I trust you." Tae Joo said. Kang Gook nodded slightly, letting out a little 'okay'. Pushing completely inside of the other boy, he didn't look away. Tae Joo's eyes closed again, and he bit his lip.

"Relax. Breathe." Kang Gook asked, kissing Tae Joo's forehead, cheek, nose, and finally his lips. Tae Joo nodded, and tried to relax. When he felt Kang Gook completely inside, he felt even fuller.

Carefully, Kang Gook pulled back, and slowly pushing back inside the other. A sigh escaped from Tae Joo's lips, and his head arched back on the pillow. Kang Gook didn't miss the opportunity, he let his lips fill Tae Joo's long neck with wet kisses. Tae Joo felt so good. Pushing inside of him again, made Kang Gook shiver. Tae Joo’s tightness and heat were too much for him. He really didn’t want to come too soon.

It had taken some time for Tae Joo to get used to that situation, but now that Kang Gook had allowed himself to move slowly inside, he had managed to relax his body. Kang Gook’s kisses and touches had helped him. He was so tender. Little by little, that strange feeling had turn into something better. Tae Joo liked it. He felt good.

"You feel so good." Kang Gook breathed against Tae Joo's neck. "You're so warm."

Kang Gook’s words made Tae Joo’s body tingle with pleasure. Tae Joo let Kang Gook’s bedroom fill with gasps and sighs. He wasn't able to be quiet, because every time he felt Kang Gook pull back and push back inside, he felt good. The pain was gone, and all that was left, was pleasure.

Kang Gook was able to read Tae Joo's movements and the noises from his lips. He enjoyed it. That's what Kang Gook wanted. He kept his movements and thrusts calm, not wanting to rush during their first time. Their first time. Tae Joo really was there, naked under him, enjoying all that Kang Gook himself was giving him. That's how it was supposed to be.

"I love you." Tae Joo couldn't help but say.

"I love you too." Kang Gook said, and drowned Tae Joo with kisses.

Tae Joo responded passionately to Kang Gook's kisses, wrapping his legs around his waist, pressing him more tightly against his body. As the result, Kang Gook pushed even deeper inside of him, hitting that spot that made Tae Joo see the stars. That sudden, more powerful wave of pleasure to both of them made their kisses break and the sighs escape into the air.

"Kang Gook - ah." Tae Joo gasped. "Do that again." He asked.

Kang Gook had felt it too. He was sure he had hit that small spot inside of Tae Joo that made him crazy with lust. He could never say no to Tae Joo, so he did it again.

Tae Joo howled with pleasure, and his nails pressed against Kang Gook's back. He knew he was leaving marks. The pleasure he had just experienced was so amazing. He hadn’t imagined that sex would feel like this.

"Harder, please. Fuck me harder." Tae Joo begged.

Kang Gook swallowed. He was blinded by pleasure. He knew he could touch Tae Joo without hurting him. He had Tae Joo’s permission to fuck him harder. He wouldn't say no. Kang Gook took a better position between Tae Joo's legs and added strength to his movements. Every brutal thrust got a yelp escaping from Tae Joo's lips. Kang Gook loved that voice. He wanted to see more. He wanted to see Tae Joo completely underneath him, enjoying it all, so he got on his knees and grabbed Tae Joo’s thighs without slowing down his movements.

The sight beneath him was the most beautiful in the world. He would never forget it. Tae Joo squeezed the pillow under his head, his belly was wet from precum, and his back arched backwards from the pleasure. And he wasn't quiet even for a moment. Kang Gook felt himself being so close to coming, as Tae Joo tightened around him, but he didn't want it to be over yet.

Kang Gook slowed his movements, and let his hands wander on Tae Joo's warm body. Tae Joo breathed heavily, and wherever Kang Gook touched him, his body trembled under his fingers.

"Come here." Kang Gook said tenderly, wrapping his arms around Tae Joo's delicate body.

Tae Joo understood what Kang Gook wanted, so he helped himself to a sitting position, wrapping his arms around Kang Gook's neck, ending up sitting on the other boy's lap. Tae Joo wrapped his legs around Kang Gook's waist. In that position, Tae Joo felt Kang Gook’s erection push deeper inside. Their chests pressed together, and Kang Gook's hands stroked Tae Joo's bare skin. Tae Joo felt Kang Gook's hands on his back, his ass, his hips, everywhere. Two strong hands squeezed his buttocks.

Kang Gook let Tae Joo move on top of him, holding on to him and following his movements. Kang Gook kissed his neck, letting his lips suck his soft skin. Tae Joo felt the skin of his neck sore a little, and he knew what Kang Gook was doing. He marked him. The thought of it made Tae Joo even more aroused. It didn't help at all that his erection rubbed against Kang Gook's stomach. He was close.

"You're so damn beautiful. You're tightening around me. You're so tight." Kang Gook growled against Tae Joo's neck. "You feel amazing."

Tae Joo couldn’t answer. Even keeping his eyes open felt difficult. The bedroom was filled with loud sighs as well as their connected bodies. Tae Joo was sure he had reached the highest level of pleasure. Nothing else mattered. There were only the two of them, and the moment they shared.

"Do you like it?" Tae Joo heard Kang Gook ask.

Oh honey, guess twice.

"I love it. You're so good." Tae Joo sighed, his head spinning.

Tae Joo’s response made a proud smile spread to Kang Gook’s lips. He grabbed Tae Joo tightly from his waist, helping him move faster. He slapped his ass. Tae Joo's head arched back from the pleasure on Kang Gook's lap. Tae Joo’s long, marked neck was right in front of Kang Gook, and he had to admit he had done a good job. That boy on him was perfect.

Kang Gook wanted to kiss Tae Joo from everywhere, so he sucked his other nipple into his mouth. It caused Tae Joo to cling onto Kang Gook's neck with both hands. He was losing his mind. Kang Gook’s erection inside him, his hands on his ass and his lips on his nipple were way too much. He wasn't sure how long he could last. The feeling in his crotch was almost unbearable, but he didn’t want that moment to end. Not yet.

Kang Gook finally removed his lips from Tae Joo's bruised nipple and put his other hand around Tae Joo's neck. He wanted to get Tae Joo’s lips against his own. The open-mouthed kisses played with each other in harmony with wet tongues. Kang Gook held Tae Joo tightly in his arms as he leaned forward, helping Tae Joo to lie back on the bed. Kang Gook rose to his knees and admired the boy beneath him.

Tae Joo was his and only his, and he would tell it to the whole world. Their gazes met, and Kang Gook began to move again, grabbing Tae Joo's thighs. Tae Joo loved the way he manhandled him. His thrusts were strong and quick. Tae Joo had become even hotter around his erection. They both knew it wouldn’t last long.

"You're mine." Kang Gook breathed between his thrusts. "Only mine."

"I'm yours." Tae Joo muttered and squeezed the pillow under his head. "Touch me, please, please." He wanted to feel Kang Gook's hands on him.

Without saying a word, Kang Gook took his other hand from Tae Joo's thigh to his hard erection, and wrapped his fingers around it. Tae Joo's whole body trembled. He was sure his cries would be heard all the way outside. Every touch of Kang Gook felt so good. Tae Joo felt his head spinning, he saw the stars. He was so close, but didn't want to come. He wanted to enjoy it just a bit longer.

"Kang Gook - ah, please I- I'm so close." Tae Joo yelled and his toes curled. Kang Gook didn't stop moving. Tae Joo felt him hitting that spot inside him all the time. He loved it. He loved it all.

"Come for me, Tae Joo-ya." Kang Gook asked. He wanted to see Tae Joo come from his touch. He speeded up his movements around Tae Joo's erection, causing him to squirm from pleasure even more. It was hard for him to even breathe. Sweat had risen on their skin. The room felt hot. Tae Joo felt a huge tingling in his lower stomach. He was so close. He knew he was tightening his muscles around Kang Gook, but couldn't do anything about it. Kang Gook’s hand on his erection was too much.

"Kang Gook, Kang Gook, I'm going to come - ah, ah, Kang Gook!" Tae Joo screamed. His indescribable pleasure swept through his entire body, which finally exploded, causing his body to shiver recklessly. He came hard while screaming on Kang Gook's hand and on his own stomach, staining his skin with his white liquid.

That sight was too much for Kang Gook. He felt massive tightness around his erection, and he gave up. With his final hard thrust he came inside of Tae Joo. He felt all that heat flowing from Kang Gook to himself, and he couldn’t describe that feeling. Breathing was difficult, his body trembled, his vision was blurry.

Kang Gook wasn't able to stay on his knees any more longer, so he lowered himself down on top of Tae Joo, kissing his swollen lips. Tae Joo wrapped his arms around Kang Gook's sweaty body. They both breathed heavily against each other’s lips, enjoying that post-orgasmic feeling.

After a moment, Kang Gook carefully pulled out from Tae Joo, causing him to sigh. He knew Tae Joo would feel his body sore tomorrow. Kang Gook moved to lie next to him. They tried to get their heavy breathing to calm down.

"That was... Amazing. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Kang Gook asked.

Tae Joo turned his gaze to the boy lying next to him, who looked at him straight back.

"I'm fine. You were great, and I... I loved it. It was amazing." Tae Joo breathed heavily, a small smile playing on his lips. His hand had found Kang Gook's own, intertwined with his fingers.

Kang Gook smiled too. "Good. I was a little worried at first." He admitted. "It was perfect."

"It was perfect." Tae Joo agreed.

It had really happened. They had just lost their virginity to the man they both had wanted. Neither of them regretted anything. It had indeed been perfect, mind-blowing. Even after sex, Tae Joo could feel Kang Gook's touch on his skin. He had been so tender. It had all been better than he could've even imagined.

Kang Gook wrapped his arms around Tae Joo's shoulders, signaling him to come closer to him. Tae Joo belonged there, in his arms. Tae Joo lowered his other hand on Kang Gook's chest. Their bodies felt sweaty and damp, but they didn't care. After some time their breathing had calmed down, and tiredness took over. Tae Joo felt Kang Gook kiss his hair. Being so close to Kang Gook, in his arms, felt so good and safe. His lovely scent, currently mixed with sex, filled Tae Joo's lungs. He wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

Tae Joo looked up at the boy lying next to him. His brown eyes behind his long lashes looked back at him. They were so beautiful. Tae Joo was able to see so much love in his eyes. Just looking at him made Tae Joo’s heart jump in his chest. That boy was all he needed.

"You're perfect." Tae Joo breathed. "In every way possible. I... I've been in love with you as long as I can remember. Just your existence has given me safety, not only the fact that my father hired you to be my bodyguard. You just... You've always been there. With me. For me. The fact that I was able to live far away from you for three years, feels unbelievable even to me. But knowing that you were here, waiting, gave me strength. The strength to keep going and wait. Because I'm so in love with you."

Tae Joo had so much to say. So many thoughts and feelings had filled his brain in England, and he hadn't been able to say them out loud to the boy he loved. It had felt awful. But now that he was finally in Kang Gook's arms, telling about his feelings felt easy. He wanted Kang Gook to know what he was thinking and feeling, and how much he had really needed him. He hadn't missed a bodyguard in England, but a friend. A friend to spend every hour with. A friend to talk to. A friend who would help. A friend who would listen. And now that friend was finally here.

"You really are my everything. You've always been." Tae Joo meant it with all his heart.

Kang Gook was speechless. They had always been close, goofing around, sleeping in the same bed, hugging... To other people it must've been so weird. But for them, normal. Only three years ago, Tae Joo had begun to show him his true feelings. How had he been able to keep his feelings inside for so long? How Kang Gook hadn't noticed anything before?

Those words Tae Joo just said to him meant so much. All he could do was to pull that boy into a long kiss. He hoped that kiss would say everything he really wanted to say to Tae Joo.

Meanwhile, Kang Gook hated himself. He wasn't perfect, even though Tae Joo had said so. He had hurt that boy. He had said stupid things, and only a moment later he had thought he had lost him completely. That one night...

"I love you, Tae Joo-ya. So much." Kang Gook said against his lips. "I'm so sorry."

Tae Joo didn't understand. "What are you sorry for?"

"Our last night together before you left... What I said..." Kang Gook swallowed. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean anything of it. What I said was stupid and rude. I shouldn't have said anything like that. I got scared of my own feelings and panicked, but it really can't be the reason for my words. When I saw you crying, it broke me inside. I was the reason for your tears, because I was the one who hurt you. And I'm so, so sorry. When you spent that one week in Japan, I missed you. I missed you so much. And when I said that I can live without you, but you can't live without me, was a lie. Because I can't live without you either."

Tae Joo got emotional. Kang Gook's beautiful face had turned blurry in his eyes. He hadn't been angry with Kang Gook for years, he had forgiven, even though he had never told him that. Tae Joo had known that Kang Gook hadn't meant his words. But those words he had meant. And those last sentences had caused the tears to appear to Tae Joo's eyes.

"When I came back to our home that night and saw the mess in our living room, my first thought was that you had to be okay. There was no other option. But when I didn't see you anywhere, I freaked out. I had to find you. At first I didn't even think that your father was to blame before Pil Hyun told me. But the feeling I felt that night... I can't describe it. I was horrified. I thought you were really kidnapped. That you were dead. I thought I lost you. I never want to feel that feeling again. Ever again."

Kang Gook’s words were too much for Tae Joo. He pressed his lips against his, letting his tears flow down his cheeks, mixing with their kisses. Tae Joo didn't want to think how Kang Gook had felt. If he had been the one thinking Kang Gook was dead then... No. He didn't want to think that. Not even for one second. He was so sorry that Kang Gook had had to think of something so awful. No one should think anything like that.

"Don't cry." Kang Gook whispered against Tae Joo's lips, wiping the tears from his cheeks with his thumbs. However, new tears replaced the old ones. "I don't want to see you cry. Come here."

Kang Gook wrapped his arms tightly around Tae Joo's body, and Tae Joo clung to his neck. He cried against Kang Gook's skin, watering it with tears. Kang Gook let the other one cry, even though it made him feel bad. It was better to let it all out than to keep it inside. Kang Gook was there, for him, stroking his bare back gently, whispering in his ear that it was okay. Kang Gook felt Tae Joo's grip tighten around his neck, as if he was afraid the other one would disappear from his grip.

"It's okay, everything is okay. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere." Kang Gook shushed. Tae Joo's body trembled with the force of crying. Kang Gook didn’t remember the last time Tae Joo had cried this much. It hurt. When Tae Joo felt bad, he did too. Kang Gook tried to keep his own tears away.

"I'm so sorry that you had to think of something like that. If I'd need to think I'd lost you, I... God, I don't want to think about it." Tae Joo sobbed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean my words either. It was a stupid fight that I want to forget. I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you." He continued. "I love you."

Kang Gook was relieved to hear those words. Tae Joo wasn't mad at him. All this time, he had regretted for not apologizing sooner. But now that he knew Tae Joo wanted to forget, Kang Gook wanted too. Tae Joo had forgiven him, and that was the most important thing.

"I love you too." He said back. Saying those words was so easy.

There they layed, clinging to each other. Kang Gook had never stopped caressing Tae Joo's back. Tae Joo had stopped crying, he was breathing calmly, enjoying Kang Gook’s presence and touch. They were okay now. After three long years, both were relieved. They had gotten each other back. Feelings had been released. Their thoughts were clear, and their future together bright. All that struggle over the years had been worth of all that love.

As Kang Gook caressed the boy lying in his arms, he realized he hadn't said that one important sentence back to him.

"Tae Joo-ya. I know I used to try to push you away. All those touches and words of yours, and when you tried to kiss me, it made me confused. I had been trying for so long to keep my feelings hidden from you. But now..." Kang Gook began.

Tae Joo waited for Kang Gook to continue. He looked at him in the eyes.

"But now?"

"But now I feel free. You finally know what I feel for you. You were always the only one I wanted. And now you're here. Now we're here. You're my everything too, Tae Joo-ya."

A happy smile rose on Tae Joo's lips. He was happiest than ever. All those words Kang Gook said that night had hit into his heart. Never before had Kang Gook been so open about his feelings than during that night. It felt good. Kang Gook had finally torn down his wall, letting Tae Joo inside, to him. Tae Joo was more than grateful for that. He was sure he could never thank Kang Gook enough. For everything. For everything he had done for him. What he had said, what he had sacrificed for him. It all told him how much Kang Gook loved him. All he could do was to give Kang Gook as much love in return.

"You know what." Tae Joo started. "Since when we were kids, you were there for me, when my dad wasn't. And when my mom died... You were the one who helped me with everything. I'm so, so, so thankful for that." He said, meaning every word.

Kang Gook kissed Tae Joo's forehead. He loved the boy in his arms so much. He would've done anything for him. At that moment, he wasn't able to say anything. Sometimes you didn't need words. Just being there, was enough.

"I'm sure my mom would've liked you a lot. Us, like this." Tae Joo said soon, loving smile on his lips.

He really meant it. He was sad he wasn't able to show the love of his life to a woman he missed so much. They had been 6-year-olds when she had passed away, and Tae Joo wasn't able to remember every little thing about his mother. But one thing he was sure about, was that she would've been okay with this. Him and Kang Gook, being together. But as Kang Gook had once said, maybe she really was looking down at them from the clouds.

Kang Gook smiled, lovingly. "I'm sure about it too." He said.

Soon Tae Joo raised his other hand on Kang Gook's cheek. He stroked his soft, flawless skin. There he was, watching his future.

"I'm not going to leave you. I'll always be here with you." Tae Joo was able to promise. Finally.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"Always?"

"Always."

And always was all they ever wanted.

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