#traditional art is so less stressful to me. until it is

[starswordartblog]

Shininginktober late Day 7: Kazin + Neptun, as that's the main spell I use with him through the game. Because of that, it kinda feels like the sorcerer promotion swapped him from fire to water mage. Though according to the manual Neptun does acid rain, so it's melting stuff all the same >:)

Version with no rain under the cut, I was so worried to ruin things under it with the effect lmao:

[malaierba]

Thinking about Karamatsu/Nozomi whole looking through some web weavings, and if I ever write something for them (currently in the phase of trying to come up with key events and organise them chronologically so it makes sense, thematically) I think I'd like this to be one of the take aways

In the event of a bad ending (dunno if I'm strong enough for that though 🫠 SHE CAN CHANGE HIM WITHOUT DYING im better than that), I hope that Karamatsu still finds it in himself to stop being so passive about his life. Like,

To stop waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect answer to dawn on him, and instead take life by reins and... Just start being an active participant in his own life. To embrace self-determination and the risk of committing to something that may not pan out but still forces you to take conscious and mindful action every day.

[kakushino]

Kuri Manju

Tomioka Giyuu x AFAB! Reader

Kuri Manju - a traditional pastry filled with pureed chestnut and white bean, served with a steaming hot cup of green tea (autumn pastry)

The shibari artist that inspired me to write this is Hajime Kinoko (Particularly Red Series: Samsara). Let me also stress this: shibari is for everyone, regardless of gender and body type, as long as you keep it safe, sane and consensual.

Tags: shibari (japanese rope art), BDSM dynamic, light choking, creampie, aftercare

Word count: 3.2k

Masterlist | Part 1

Tagging @crimsonkenjii-writes because this is bonus chapter of the Giyuu smut I promised to tag you in uwu

“Not fair… I was having such a good dream…” he mumbled into the pillow. “...had you in it…” Soft grumbles left the half-sleeping man. His voice was much deeper and raspier than normal and it reverberated through you pleasurably.

“You’re really something else, aren’t you?” you huff.

“Don’ know what you mean.” 

You could only conclude he was still a little drunk, otherwise he wouldn’t be saying that out loud. You frankly found this new side of him adorable. If you weren’t concerned about his liver, you would be getting him drunk more often.

Especially if it gave you a repeat of yesterday’s actions.

Your face flushed at the thought. Bad, bad, bad thought.

“Well, tell me where you hide your spare yukatas and where I can find one of your estate workers because you fell asleep right after and my thighs are sticky. I need a bath,” you said as you crawled out of the futon nude. You were confident he wasn’t looking, what with his hangover.

A mumbled instruction after, you found a generic blue yukata that would do for the moment. Considering your juban was stained with cum, you let it fall to the ground and put on his clothes. 

You left him lying there in search of the much-needed wash.

Sasaki, the kind head worker of the Water estate, helped you bathe and even prepared a breakfast for you while you washed. 

To your surprise, the man of the house was already sitting in the dining room, eating his own breakfast. It wasn’t fair that Giyuu looked much fresher and more awake than you did. Did he also take a bath? That was quick…

“Thanks for the meal,” you whispered as you started to eat.

The atmosphere was oddly comfortable, despite whatever happened last night. You were pretty sure he didn’t remember his last words before he fell asleep.

(He did remember.)

Please… date me…

The request still rang through your mind, like a broken record. Did he mean it? 

“Thank you, Kira.” 

You looked up. An attendant was taking away his empty bowls.

“Oh, and Kira?” Giyuu made eye contact with you. “Please take everyone with you to the market today. We want to enjoy some Kuri Manju with our guest this evening.”

Kuri Manju? It’s not yet autumn proper so why…

The attendant bowed and beelined out of the room. 

Wait, this evening? I’m staying? 

Giyuu led you to his room again. There was a slight difference - on his futon was a nest made of the fluffiest pillows you have ever seen. 

He pushed you down onto the nest, his bottomless eyes staring into your soul. He slowly backed off until he stood next to a sizable chest, opening it and finally breaking eye contact. You let out the breath you were unknowingly holding.

However, what he pulled out made your breath hitch again. 

A bright red rope.

Giyuu placed the carefully tied bundle next to him and reached inside the chest again. He took out another, and another, and another bright red rope.

You could scarcely breathe, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a Nichirin blade.

The chest closed with a loud thud, his stare finding yours again.

“Come here,” said the spider to the fly.

And you crawled to him, entranced by his eyes. The loose yukata he provided you with less than an hour ago shifted with the movement, fabric pulled slightly apart, giving him a tantalizing show of your swaying breasts. He licked his lips.

You sat in front of him, on the edge of what he would do to you.

“Strip.”

Before your mind could process the command, your hands were tugging the obi loose and off. The yukata fell off your shoulders almost immediately, and you were bare to his hungry gaze.

Giyuu finally moved. His hand - so rough in appearance - was gentle around your wrist as he pulled you closer to straddle his lap. You took in his scent and warmth, closing your eyes.

“Do you trust me?”

You exhaled softly. “Yes.”

“If you want to slow down, say sake. If it’s too much and you want to stop, say daikon. Those two words will be your safe words today. Do you understand?” His hot breath caressed your ear as he whispered.

“Yes.” 

One of his hands reached beside him, the other placed on the small of your back, the heat branding into your skin.

“Then tell me what you would use if you wanted to stop?” His lips trailed down from your ear, making feather-light contact with your neck.

“I-I���d say d-daikon,” you stuttered, your brain not being able to focus on anything other than him.

“Good girl.”

The hiss of an unraveling rope sent shivers down your spine. He briefly leaned back to encircle your ribs with the first folded-over rope, securing it on itself at your back. His searing hot hands trailed up your spine as he positioned the binding over your shoulder, going down between your breasts. A knot secured it to the first part of the rope, simple yet intricate, and then the rope went up up up over your other shoulder.

The anticipation was killing you. He was touching you, yet it wasn’t really touching. His hands worshiped you, tying you up in the beautiful red ropes creating patterns only he seemed to know. The artful web dug into your skin, the sensation a wonderful contrast to his gentle caresses. 

At long last, he tied off the first rope, and reached for another.

You keened quietly.

“How are you feeling?” Giyuu whispered, connecting the new rope into the criss-crossed pattern at your spine, and continued to create art upon your skin.

You wiggled in his lap, your damp core brushing against his bulge. “I need more…”

He chuckled right next to your ear. “More ropes? More what, sweetheart?” 

“I need- I need-” You trembled like a newborn fawn, trying to grind on him. He pulled at the ropes, manhandling you off his lap as you whined.

“No. Be good and stay still.”

“Giyuu-” 

Smack.

You reeled back a little but his grip on the knots kept you in place. He’d slapped your thigh, an angry handprint appearing as he soothed it over with his touch.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, kneeling steadily.

Giyuu shuffled behind you with another rope in hand. You didn’t dare turn, your breath growing heavy. 

His hot palms soothed over your shoulders, down your shoulder blades, around your ribs before his fingers started playing with your nipples gently. You sighed in pleasure, but didn’t move a smidge. 

“Good girl,” he praised you quietly.

His hands trailed down to your stomach, then around to the back to fiddle with the restraints again. He brought both your arms behind you, starting to tie your hands.

You couldn’t see what he was doing to you, but his warm caresses and the gentle way he handled you told you he was enjoying himself immensely. 

You shivered.

His warmth stopped moving. “Cold?” His lips brushed over your shoulder lovingly. 

You shivered again. “No…”

A chuckle became your answer before ropes encircled your forearms. He secured them against the knots at your back. You could feel the design there was intricate, you wished you could see it.

His hands trailed up your arms, over your shoulders and to your chest softly, rough palms catching at your nipples, sending a shockwave down your body.

“How are you feeling? Anything too tight?”

"I'm alright. Just- please-" your voice gained a whiny undertone, wanting more, needing more yet the light touch itself was so erotic, so satisfying. The mixture of sensations was dizzying.

His fingers ran feather-light all over your body. “What a sight you are…” His breath ghosted over your neck before he placed a kiss on your shoulder. “So beautiful and so wet…”

His middle finger slid between your pussy lips. You were embarrassingly riled up, your juices started running down your thigh long ago. 

“We aren’t done yet, sweetheart,” Giyuu chided you when you tried to grind on his finger, seeking friction. You keened in desperation.

The finger disappeared. Both of his hands cradled your shoulders and he pulled you backwards gently. Instead of falling into his chest, you were lowered onto the small nest of pillows, which allowed you to lay comfortably, despite the arched position his ropes had you in. 

You finally had a view of Giyuu now. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his gaze intense, tracing the bright red knots and lines. He looked a second away from losing control-

-but instead of finally pouncing on you, he reached for the last rope. 

“Giyuu, if you don’t hurry up-”

“Shhhh, no talking,” he commanded you. You immediately obeyed out of some base instinct you had no control over. “I don’t want to hear any noises from you unless it’s sounds of pleasure, do you understand?”

“Ye-”

Smack.

You shut your mouth. Another red handprint joined the first one on your thigh. He soothed over the stinging spot with his searing hot palm.

“Do you understand, sweetheart?”

You nodded.

“Good girl.”

He leaned over you, one hand folded your leg against your body, the other unraveled the rope, readying it for you. You watched in captivated silence as he wound and unwound and spun the rope around your leg, tying it up in the folded position, binding it to your torso so you cannot move, cannot escape. The bright red made a pretty contrast against your skin, digging and creating ridges into the plush. 

Like a fly caught in a spider’s web.

You whined, drawing his attention to your needy expression.

He stood up, looming over your decorated and immobile body. “I’ve kept you waiting for long enough, haven’t I?” His yukata fell down in one quick tug at his obi. 

You didn’t get a chance to see his cock yesterday but now that you could, you wondered just how he fit that beast inside of you. What’s more - it was pretty, like really pretty to look at. It curved slightly upwards and the tip was flushed and leaking, the precum decorating the head like a crown. Your mouth watered staring at it.

Your eyes shot up to meet his and you saw the small smirk he wore right before his face hardened into an expressionless mask.

Giyuu knelt back down and slotted himself between your legs, one bound up to your torso, one cradling his waist. He leaned over to kiss you tenderly, reverently, his hands cupping your cheeks. As he pulled back, one of his palms soothed over your decorated chest criss-crossed with ropes and knots. Down down down he went until his fingertips delved between your pussy lips again, circling your clit loosely, not giving even remotely enough stimulation to feel good… yet. 

You whined loudly in protest. The arched position you were in didn’t allow you to continue admiring his body, you could only see until his bellybutton.

“Impatient, sweetheart?”

The frustration brought tears to your eyes as you stared at him, pleading without voice.

He brought his fingers to your entrance, inserting two in one go. You couldn’t arch your back more but your lips fell open at the sensation. Finally, finally you were getting something. A slow and teasing pace and then the thumb at your clit-

You moaned quietly, eyes closing. “Please~”

His fingertips found the spot inside you that made you mewl. You wanted to squirm, to fuck yourself back onto his fingers yet you could do nothing but take it, ropes digging into your skin. 

"Please what?" He kept an unrelenting but steady pace. A smirk grew on his handsome face.

You strained against the bindings, trying to get- "More."

Giyuu chuckled and inserted another finger, spreading the three out briefly, stretching you. "Better?"

You whined. "Please… I can take you, please-"

“Greedy girl.”

“I need it, please-pleaseplease-”

“Fine but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He withdrew his fingers. 

The tip slipped between your puffy folds, bumping against your clit making you moan. His hand gripped at the ropes under your breasts for leverage. Finally, he slid his length inside - the glide smooth, helped by the amount of juices you made. “-doing amazing, sweetheart,” he rasped out. “Good girl, take my cock.” And you could do nothing but take it.

You keened at the slight stretch. You were more than ready for him. If your mind wasn’t in the clouds, you would have been smug about it.

The pace he set was agonizingly slow, each inch dragging against your sensitive walls. It was too much and not enough at the same time. Each slow thrust made the squelching of your juices echo in the room.

He leaned down pressing his forehead against your temple, his nose into your cheek, keeping up his torture of your insides. “You’re drenched. I bet people on the street can hear you every time-” he slid in, the lewd wet sound so loud “- I do this. Can you hear yourself, sweetheart?”

Yes, yes you could. But Giyuu had long fucked any semblance of thoughts out of your head. Instead of responding, you nearly wailed when his tip pressed against your cervix harshly.

“I can feel you clenching around me,” he exhaled sharply. You could only whimper.

Each stroke sent your nerves into overdrive, you could feel every fucking inch of him. You couldn't believe you could ever lose your mind on a cock, but he made it happen. Synapses fired off faulty messages, making you tremble and whine and shake under him. Your brain scrambled to comprehend the amount of pleasure he brought you with each roll of his hips. 

You clenched your eyes shut.

"Eyes on me."

His heavy hand circled your neck, long fingers squeezing softly at your pulse point - enough to make you light-headed, not enough to truly choke you. Your gummy walls fluttered around his length.

“You like this? You dirty, dirty girl-” he panted harshly.

You peeked into his eyes with a half-lidded and tear-stained gaze, unable to do more.

Thrust by thrust, he inched you closer to the edge at a crawling pace, so slow and loving yet so intense and dirty. If you hadn't been tied, you still wouldn't have known what to do with yourself. It was as if you were a fleshlight for him, a pretty decorated fleshlight, and you loved it - loved being his cocksleeve.

Each time Giyuu bottomed out, he ground against you a little, pushing against your needy clit and making you moan breathlessly.

“Are you going to come for me? Haah- Show me you’re not as naughty as you seem? Be a good girl?”

His tip never gave you a moment of peace, rubbing all the good spots, smooching your cervix, extracting whine after whine from you, moan after moan, all a symphony of wordless praises to him. You were barely coherent.

His eyes flickered down to where you were connected, his pace never speeding up. The hand clutching at your bindings let go of you and instead, you felt his thumb circle your clit.

You came embarrassingly fast when he did that.

Your toes curled almost painfully when the first wave of pleasure crashed upon you. Your whole body shook, muscles taunt, tears falling down your cheeks and eyes nearly rolling back. "Ghi-yuuuuh~" even your desperate cry was slurred as all your senses became muffled.

His eyes were bright, almost feverish, as he held eye contact. His hips buckled at the sudden tightness of your soppy cunt. “Fuck- yes, yes-”

He pressed as deep inside as he could as he came, the movement pressing into all the right spots and prolonging your orgasm, milking him for all he had. Giyuu groaned at the feeling, breathing heavily.

“Good- hah- good girl… Knew you could do it for me,” he whispered, rolling his hips and stirring up your insides. 

You could not think. You could not speak. Your eyes closed as you tried to catch your breath.

“Here, let me get these off of you…” He stayed inside of you as he untied your folded leg first, supporting it so you wouldn’t move too fast and cramp up. Once the ropes were off your leg, he slowly helped straighten it out. His fingers burned against the places where the bindings used to be. Curious, you looked. There were indents from the rope pattern in your flesh, some of them looking a little darker, bruised. His palm soothed over them. “Don’t worry, they won’t hurt soon.”

Giyuu had a slight smile on his face as he slowly pulled out, the lewd mix of both of you spilling out onto the pillows you laid on. He reached down as if to touch you, but stopped, hand clenching into fist, and rolled you over instead so he could reach all the knots tying your arms back.

“You did so well, sweetheart.” There was a slight tug of war behind your back, his movements quick and efficient. Bit by bit, the pressure holding your arms back eased. “Such a good girl for me.” There was a deep ache in your shoulder joints when the final knot came undone and your arms relaxed. “Are you alright?”

You’ve never heard such a soft tone of voice from Giyuu as he soothed over what you were nearly sure were bruises on your skin. “M’ shoulders…” you mumbled.

A quiet “Shit.” echoed in the room. “Let me take off the rest and we can address that.” 

You laid there boneless, pliant, like a pillow princess. You huffed in amusement at the thought. A pillow princess in a nest of pillows. But you loved it. You loved how he gently manhandled you, if that was a thing. 

Despite the complexity of the ties and the time it took to put them on you, undoing them went surprisingly quickly. Giyuu discarded all the ropes in a messy pile by the futon, before he left the room nude. 

You kept your arms close to your body, trying to limit the movement in the hurting shoulder joints as you maneuvered yourself to lay on your stomach. You felt too exposed all of a sudden and the loss of Giyuu’s warmth felt devastating. 

The door slid closed. You glanced up tiredly. His dark eyes observed you for a moment before he kneeled at your side, a damp cloth in hand. He didn’t make you move your position but he did spread your legs and cleaned up what leaked out of you. 

The cloth was thrown to the ground with a wet plop and warm arms embraced you, lifting you slightly. A few pillows of the nest, especially the ones stained with cum and sweat, were pushed to the side. 

Only then did he lay down beside you with you in his arms, a blanket thrown over the both of you. You laid your head on his warm chest, closing your eyes. 

“Sleepy?” 

“Mhm.”

“Don’t, yet. How are your shoulders?” Warm hand slid up your spine and rested on one of your shoulders, gently caressing where the joint was with his thumb.

“Still hurtin’.”

Giyuu exhaled slowly. “I apologize. I should have done it differently then.” 

“It was hot though,” you mumbled, hiding your face in his chest. Your face burned. 

His hands soothed over your back, feeling the imprints of his love. "It was,” there was laughter in his voice. “Did you like it?”

“Mhm.” 

“Then we shall do it again sometime, if you’ll have me.”

So I said the next one will be Obanai... I lied. But the next one of these series WILL be Obanai. I will just add some oneshots in between, mkay?

[moreespressoformydepresso]

EPIC: The Musical has me in a chokehold so I made a TBOSAS AU where the tributes are all eldritch creatures whose true might was dormant. Maybe reaping them at the same time was a rebel plot, maybe it was divine intervention, but it happens. It happens and the stress of the situation causes one of them to snap. The others soon follow.

All have eldritch forms tied to an element. Ones that aren’t the traditional four count (so metal, void, light etc). They have minor control over that element aside from the eldritch form and can spawn whole realms where their inner creature thrives which only they can access. So a creature tied to the element fire can be resting in their own personal badass volcano lair and then spawn in the ‘real’ world via a portal in the form of a flame. They can create the flame too, but they can’t travel very far and there are ways to mess with the teleportation. Also, the kids retain a version of their human form even when they’re ‘transformed’ because their eldritch form isn’t an alternate form, it’s more an extension of them that’s hidden until they reveal them. I’m using the word transformation because it’s easier. I’ve got many ideas but I’ll start with what inspired this AU: Treech as Scylla in the song Scylla.

I’m going with snakes over the dogs sometimes used in mythology because I think it’s more terrifying (and also I’ve seen one animatic with adorable serpents and fell in love with the big eyes and boopable snouts and massive razor sharp teeth dripping with blood). Treech’s eldritch form is a base with six ginormous serpents sticking out of it. If his human form’s attached to it, he’s a part of the base, usually with only his upper body visible. He has scales with a gradient of forest green, indigo, and Persian blue. When fully transformed, all of his eyes are a glowing icy blue or maya blue (I want to make them fully black but with all the dark shades that’s less terrifying imo) and his human form has lines of scales going in spirals down his body and creeping up on the edges of his face. When Treech starts his transformation, his pupils turn into predator slits and his irises turn light blue. The blue spreads out until it takes up the whole eye. When he gets mad, it might bleed into the veins around his eyes. The serpents themselves start out as glowing outlines all over his skin like tattoos that start to peel off and slowly grow to the terrifying size of his full eldritch form.

The part in the song after Scylla says “hello :)” is the part where he transforms, his voice slowly sounding more and more inhuman (he can sound like a human but like- go big or go home right?) and instead of just killing six people he massacres whole squads of peacekeepers (though he spares innocents like kids because he’s determined to rub it in the Capitol’s face that a literal man-eating serpent monster is more compassionate than they could ever hope to be) in his quest for both vengeance and freedom. It’s not even the biggest slaughter in the big revenge spree the tributes go on together, but still. I’m giving Treech vague siren-like aspects (his singing voice can cause a loss of focus and amply emotions like fear) instead of the telepathy Scylla has in EPIC. A little nod to the song that started this AU.

I might continue this and I’m working on some art for this AU (might post, might not, I’m not sure yet).

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 19: Feuillemort 🍂

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Feuillemort (adj.)

the color of dead or dying leaves; a dull yellowish or orangish brown

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Finally, one of the words I was most looking forward to, & one of the most seasonally appropriate! 🍁

...If only I hadn’t been distracted by art supply news for most of the afternoon so I could’ve given it the attention it really deserved. 😅

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk a bit more about my general thoughts/process. ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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Okay, circling back to do this description properly now, after speed-running to go ahead and just get it posted without one. (😅)

That was even necessary for a few different reasons:

I got distracted by an announcement from a certain marker company this afternoon and that distraction ate up a lot more time than I wanted it to.

This isn't the first time I've had to post one of these later than I was really happy with this year—You Sparklers know that. But at a certain point, it became obvious I was going to come uncomfortably close to the late posting hours that have plagued me for Inktobers' past, and I started to mildly panic.

Point 2 was not helped by the fact that dinner was ready just about time I finished the art itself, but I knew if I stopped to eat, I'd be set back a whole additional hour, if not longer. So I put off dinner for as long as I reasonably could, and then still had to work through dinner with one hand because trying to Just Eat and Not Think about The Obscutober Post was making me panic more.

And it's a real shame because if you Sparklers remember from yesterday, this is one of the words on the list that I was really looking forward to—So much so that I almost accidentally did it early. 😅

Sparklers, if you learn nothing else from me, please at least take to heart: Life is much easier and less stressful when you have actual time management skills and use them!

Ironically though, and kind of in spite of not getting to give this one as much careful attention as I wanted to...I don't feel like I have too much to say about how it did come together in the end. 🤷‍♀️

At it's core, the mandala here was mostly just drawing leaves, after all. It did take me a few tries to nail the shape of the Maple and oak leaves, though that's largely because they look weird of you don't get the subtle roughness of their edges just right. [At least if you ask me.] But the rest of the leaf shapes mostly took figuring out in how to place them together, not so much in how to achieve them.

Much like Day 8, I felt like I kind of had a leg up here because of a project you Sparklers haven't seen yet but my Ko-fi Members have. [And hopefully you Sparklers will get to see it soon, too, I've just been too busy to squeeze it in yet!] Said project also involved drawing a lot of small leaves, so I had a bit of experience with simple leaf shapes up my sleeve. [Up my sleaf. 😃]

I was kind of worried I was going to/had maybe overhyped working with this word also like Day 8, but really my biggest problem was just the ticking clock.

The one other "major" problem I had was that after the past few mandalas have felt more doodle-y and less mandala-y to me, I wanted to insist on getting some more "proper" mandala elements in here. That was easier for the simpler leaves that served more as filler and more difficult for the more specifically-shaped leafs.

Getting the more traditional mandala elements in there was also kind of important to help keep this from looking like a giant mess of lines for the different leaf segments and such, which I didn't realize until I'd started on maybe the third different kind of leaf or so.

Speaking of late-stage realizations: Believe it or not, it only occurs to me now that this looks kind of like a fall wreath. 😆

But I managed to get through the line phase and still feel pretty good about it. My goal was to get a nice leaf-pile sort of thing going and despite my anxiety over how long it was taking, I think I got pretty much what I wanted out of it.

Next, of course, was the color. There was little argument to be had there because that's sort of what today's definition hinges entirely on.

I did however have a bit of a fight trying to get the right brightness and the contrast I wanted in some areas. While I did want to stick fairly close to the definition and limit how much red and green go in there, at least some of both felt necessary to stay true to the nature of dying leaves and I didn't want it to just be a flat yellow-y-brown blob, either.

I stand by the outcome I got, but I do think if I hand't been so pressed for time I could have arrived at a just-as-happy conclusion a lot easier. As it is, I spent most of the coloring phase just kind of smashing fall colors on top of each other; If I'd had more time, I would've selected my colors a little more carefully and wouldn't have had to layer some of them up so much to get the color I wanted. 🙃

And then when I thought I was finished, I had to go back twice to brighten it up because it just didn't look as vivid on screens that weren't my iPad and it bugged me.

...Sparklers, here I was typing a paragraph about how I originally misspelled "dying" as "doling" in the image definition and had to go back and fix it right before posting, only to realize I didn't even completely fix it. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

It'll be fixed by the time I update this description to actually be a description, and I'll fix it in the few other places I'm able, but I can't fix it everywhere so now a bunch of the cross-posts are just...stuck with "dyling" instead of "dying" up there. 🫠

*Sigh*. I knew that was going to happen eventually. It was just inevitable with a format that includes text, the same way it's pretty inevitable that every time I do a daily challenge with the mini-magnets, I make some kind of dumb spelling mistake I can't easily fix with those, either. At least this way is technically easier to fix the image itself and it's just the posts that are the problem; The magnets are often trickier to fix because I have to decide if I want try to literally fixing it with the magnets or just Photoshop it instead.

Still, I absolutely exhaust myself with these dumb oversights. 😫

Maybe that's a sign I should leave (ha) this description here before I knock all the remaining wind out of the sails I have left for this artwork. 🙃 I think I mentioned everything I wanted to about the making-of, before that realization happened. I think that's why I was even bothering to bring it up—To make sure I'd covered as much as I could.

Well. I suppose I would rather realize the mistake now than like, a week from now or sometime in the future when it would be way more ridiculous how long it took me to notice. This is still not great, but at least I know the main reason it happened was because I was just in such a rush from the coloring phase onward and that mistaken was collateral damage.

Remember that thing I said at the beginning? I think it bears repeating once more: If you learn nothing else from me, please at least take to heart: Life is much easier and less stressful when you have actual time management skills and use them!

Bleh. I think I should also say I do still like the art itself, The frustration I have towards myself is just very strong right now. I knew cross-posting went a little too smoothly once I got started tonight.

Sigh together with me for a moment, Sparklers: SIGH.

And now please send thoughts of better time management my way, because clearly I could use them as to hopefully not have another day like today. 😅 I'll see you Sparklers tomorrow, hopefully with a proper description the first time, everything spelled correctly, and in much better spirits than the mood I've just put myself in. 🫠

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See the Prompt List

Artwork © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[graylinesspam]

Okay, there's been a lot of hot topic discussions about participating in fandom and the rules and expectations there in. Great discussions, I am loving the active shift to move back to a more traditional fandom etiquette. Being kinder, more supportive, more encouraging, ect, of creators is great. BUT lets be honest. It's not always easy. One of the biggest challenges we are facing right now is an environmental one. The worlds on fucking fire, we're all exhausted and scared and using our fandoms as escapism from everything else. That still doesn't give anyone the right to become entitled to fandom made media or to behave poorly in those spaces. But the tired and well meaning consumers of fandom who are just too burnt out to do much more than doomscroll are probably wondering how they can help to create a better environment without putting themselves out. I say this as someone who has been there, is there, and will be there again.

Structuring your fandom engagement can be immensely helpful for the fandom and your enjoyment of it. If you are suffering in any way and are just too exhausted to even think enough words to leave a comment on a fic. If your running on fumes and using a constant flow of fics, edits, ect to keep going. But you genuinely don't have the time to stop and engage with the media. If you are suffering from social anxiety and it's just too much to even try to shout into the void. Then this is my advice for you. Put it off.

Seriously.

As a fic writer myself I know how much writers sit on ao3 refreshing and waiting for hits and comments. I know how much I love receiving notifs on here for headcannon posts. And it is absolutely fact that creators must be interacted with and encouraged to make more content. But it is equally true that the media they make is meant to be enjoyed for the long term, not just the moment it comes out. And there are ways you can accommodate yourself.

starting with the things it doesn't actually take effort to do. The things you really should be doing right away. Like posts. leave kudos. use repost and reblog features of whatever platform you are using.

I know that in the past I have been held back from reblogging a post because I know that I will have thoughts on it. So I want to put it off until i have the time to get to it. But the truth of it is that there is no actual reason not to give the creator an empty reblog once or even more than once. Notifications feel good. The only thing that's discouraging you is that little social anxiety voice. I promise you it isn't embarrassing to reblog something more than once.

Creators won't think anything negative about you for doing so. If it's as easy as pushing a button. DO IT. Push the damn button.

And this goes well beyond just posted works too. If there's a discord chat you don't have the energy to way in on but your enjoying reading. Hit them with a reaction. If there's a post in the making with multiple creators discussing something, reblog it. Engage, hit that button baby

Now for the less demanding tasks, You feeling demand avoidant to engagement. You feeling nonverbal to a mental degree. Head empty no words? BUT your absolutely digging the content your consuming? Great. You can literally save it for later. Your allowed. If you need some kind of authoritative permission to be late to things, This is me granting it to you. There is no such equivalent to liking an old Instagram post (or whatever it is the youths stress about socially). You want to say something in the notes of a post you liked? there's a fun feature of this here blog site that lets you save posts as drafts. You would not believe the amount of drafts that I have saved. Some are years old. Some are kept as permanent references for other works that I come back to.

Your ever find yourself adding to a post just to lose steam half way through? don't delete that response. Save to draft.

You want to leave something nice in the notes of some fan art but can't for the life of you think any words? (There's always emojis) save to drafts. Come back to it later when you feel more up to it.

You're allowed to put thing off. You are not obligated to jump at all fandom engagement as tax for being in the fandom.

Now, that being said, you should still actually come back to that saved content. You want to know a secret about me? I am terrible at leaving comments.

I know as a fic write, I should be better at it, but I'm just not. I came to conclusion very quickly that feeling guilty about that only made me do it less. Less engagement is not the answer. So here are some easily employable tips for being better at leaving comments.

#1 don't...I mean, don't worry about it right away. You just finished a fic, you feel like you should leave a comment in appreciation. You are allowed to wait.

Personally I use my reading history on ao3 to keep track of my reading. I rarely leave a comment after having just finished a fic. Usually I wait for a good mental health day, (or a day where I have to urge to write but my brain won't let me actually work on a fic) and I go through my history and leave comments on all the fics I've read since the last time I did this. I usually do this between every month and every other month.

I gave this advice to a friend of mine a couple years ago and she has decided to make a personal tag in her bookmarks that she uses to keep track of fics she plans on commenting on later.

I have also personally used the PRIVATE bookmark feature as a way to take notes on fics while reading them so I remember what I wanted to comment on later. Since these notes are nearly ineligible to anyone but me. And since they're invisable to the author, this feels private and organized enough for my brain to handle.

I find that this method not only make me feel good for spreading joy across the fandom in bursts but also sometimes lets me make more well thought out and articulate comments. It also allows me to go back and leave a comment on each chapter of a long fic with my thoughts, without disrupting my rhythm during reading. Which we know authors love getting a stream of new comments, so there's no need to feel bad about it.

#2 But wait, maybe you do want to leave a comment right away but don't have the words. Then you can leave an emoji or keyboard smash and just come back later to leave a better comment. Fun fact, you can, should, and are encouraged to leave multiple comments on the same fic/post. You are more than welcome to leave a string of emojis now and come back later. I personally just went back to a fic I read almost seven years ago just to leave a better comment. And while it's awesome to reread fics when you do this. You don't have to. I didn't this time. I just found myself thinking about the fic in question and wanted to say something that, at the time of reading, i just wasn't mature or educated enough to have put into words.

#3 Or maybe you just won't ever have the words to say exactly what you want. That's okay too. Sometimes concepts are just too big to get from you brain to your mouth. I hate it when it happens to me. And in the past it has felt very discouraging. But I promise you it's okay. There are about a million posts on this site giving you advice on how to word your comments so I won't use too much space up on that, but i will say, It's okay if all you can manage is an ok comment. Fanfiction comments are not something you need to have a good grade in. You are allowed to be dry. You are allowed to just say "I liked__ and __ and the way that you___", without elaborating. You do not have to explain yourself and all your thoughts in a comment. A compliment as simple as "I love the way you write." Is perfectly fine.

#4 Head empty, only blorbo? telling people you love the trope they're writing, or a headcannon you like about the character that they included is great to. Or something included in a drawing. As fun as it is to receive an annotated analysis on something, it's actually not mandatory for you to talk to someone about their actual writing or drawing skills. Sometimes all your brain wants is to think about the character or the headcannon or the scenario. And that's ok. Clearly the creator wants to as well, if they wrote about it.

The core of all of this advice is not to put too much pressure on yourself. Fandom is being consumed too fast and left behind to quickly. It's okay to take your time with things, Yes even if you also find yourself chasing the dopamine. You can like the latest trendy fandom, and also use any of the above methods to keep track of the whirlwind of content your eating through, and come back to it later. You can also use que features to space out your reblogs of some fandom content to spread out the appreciation.

If you are for some reason embarrassed to blow through someone's blog or fics, use the que feature. Making comments in a private bookmark and then add them to the fic later.

You are allowed to take things at your own pace. Fandom isn't just for right now. It's for the long term, but only if you continue to engage with it.

[marlomogensen]

excerpt from a 28 page zine i made for a fair earlier this year which you can download here. 

i didn’t call it a comic at the time but it is really, it just doesn’t have words or a traditional narrative. i haven’t had any ideas i felt inspired by in years. so instead i focused on feelings and just did heaps of associative drawings on themes and motifs until a “story�� representing how i had been feeling emerged which was way less stressful, difficult and boring to make than my previous experiences making “comics”

it’s about depression and grief, and attendantly about all the stuff that may be happening somewhere inside you when it feels like nothing is, as well as a hope for change or the knowledge that things are changing no matter what. subconscious processes that happen while you are just sitting and thinking and not participating in life and what that feels like, what time feels like when it is quietly ticking by. i have to be hopeful and humorous when i make art or i can’t sit with the feelings to finish it and it just makes me feel worse. the approach that lead to this zine i think make it formally more interesting than most comics i’ve made. i really feel alienated by the kind of auto-bio and narrative work i have traditionally made right now, and much more attracted to visions and feelings than monologues and descriptions

[tblsomedoodles]

How's the status on each of your updates?

Oh let's see.

Comic wise, the yet unnamed seer twin's apocalypse comic has it's next update fully sketched out and in the process of inking. Might be out next week, if i can manage it.

Donnieverse i know what i want to do next, but haven't started it yet. (wanted to update the seer comic/maybe finish that one off before going any farther with this.)

i have a Mikey's Imaginary Friend video all boarded but i haven't started actual work on it (i'll get caught up in it once i do, so i'm strategically procrastinating so i can get other stuff done.)

Fic wise, "Proud Family Tradition" i've been picking at but it's not close to an update. (if i just sit down and focus on this fic, the entire thing would have been done by now. but alas, my brain will not allow such logic.)

"One Without the Other" i haven't started the next chapter yet (b/c it's supposed to be Leo telling his brothers but i do not want to write a seer explanation for the third time. I honestly might skip to the 'leo and donnie fighting' bit. like going and starting the entire chapter with Leo smashing the dreamcatcher against a wall of Donnie's lab and make Splinter figure out what the heck just happened in the five minutes he left his boys alone to talk.)

"Growing Pains" is all plotted out through the secondary mutations (with an actual outline and everything) and i've been working on it recently. but i'm not really close to an update there either.

Oh, and my little angsty side project "Silver linings aren't worth it" (which i don't really talk about here b/c i haven't done much art for it) has the next chapter written, but i'm trying a thing where i don't release the next chapter until I've written the one after it, so it's not going to be posted yet. (honestly, this one is probably the closest to getting an update as a result of the update rule. Idk, it puts less stress on me for somehow. It removes the 'my brain deciding it needs a break once it posts the newly finished chapter' thing i've been struggling with. So i might adopt that rule for all my fics. )

I think that's all my ongoing projects? I...have too many active projects lol. If i missed one, let me know. I'll give you the status of it.

Thank you!

[placesyoucallhome]

Drunk wasps, wild turkeys and pokemon cakes. You live an interesting life.

mmm, bear with me here-

I've taken art classes since I was a kid, like traditional art training since the age of like, five. Mostly from the same guy, he was also my AP art teacher in highschool. But for a lot of that time my art was very... bland, flat. I was taught to draw what I saw, in a very literal sense, he wouldn't even allow us to take a picture of our subject matter to work on outside of class hours (mind you, there were no cell phone cameras then we were working off digital cameras mostly but that's beside the point). So, much of my art was also literal, leaves were greens, brick was red, water was blue. My art wasn't great, and I couldn't quite figure out why.

I also took art classes in college, whole different teacher, he admitted my technical skill was there, but I wasn't pushing things at all, and I really still didn't 'get' it. I eventually got to an oil painting class, and again my technical skill was there, but it fell flat.

Until one assignment. He set up a still life, basic, I couldn't tell you how many damn still lifes I've done, but this one was only in greys. Every single item was a flat shade of grey, and our assignment was 'paint in color'. It took me a bit, to see it, and I won't say that I got it immediately right then, but it started to click. Literally, those vases and boxes were grey, and that wasn't the point, the point was choosing to see the colors in that. There's the golds of the sun through dirty skylights, the copper bouncing up from the cheap flooring, the blue shining from the jacket of the kid falling asleep in the front row. Once you think to look for it, you can see the bouncelights and colors, there's a rainbow in even a white wall, I would know, I painted one.

My point is, life is bland, painfully so, or worse, its stressful, painful. One can see things literally, in dull shades, that tree in the yard invites bugs, living near the metroparks means local forest wildlife, a lot of my 'art' nowadays is done in buttercream, and everything is... boring.

Or, you can find the color in the little things, like the ridiculousness of the fact that apparently local herds of deer like to get drunk off fermenting ornamental pears in our front yard, or the comedy of trying to find a way to explain what the hell Mewtwo is to a coworker that's never played pokemon.

I write and present things the way I do because, I choose to see the colors in mundane things. It doesn't make living less painful, but it can make it easier to bear.

[kirihotto]

Fireplace Festa {Jimin X Reader 18+}

Christmas. A special time that comes around once a year, filled with magic stories and warmth.  

I Knew the rest of the members pretty well as soon as I started dating Jimin. For the christmas season The seven guys would host a party for themselves as old tradition. But when Jimin and the band mates got big they hosted larger parties in the holiday spirit. Hundreds of idol groups and musicians were invited, sure they wouldn’t all come but it was still a lot of people. Which is exactly why I wanted him to relax before this big party tomorrow. But due to said party, this last week he has been out of the house nearly everyday. planning. It has been three years since we have been a couple. Every waking moment has been like a dream. Well. other than when we were busy constantly. But even still I couldn't believe that I was dating an idol. One of the most popular idols in one of the most popular boy bands in the world. A bad ass on stage to a sweet playful boyfriend at home. Adorably deadly. 

The Eve was nearing, which is why I was in a panic. Gift shopping. I had gotten every other member something. Namjoon tickets to an art gallery, Tae an ornament resembling Tanny, Hoseok a new mini bag , JK a new bucket hat by his favorite designer, Jin a set of lama PJ’s, then Jimin.. Nothing. Well. His main gift, yes. But we had a tradition of a Christmas Eve gift. Which I had not gotten. All I had wanted from Jimin was to spend this night with him. As silly as it sounds, I missed him this past week. Cuddling by the fire, watching Christmas movies, his kisses, his touch- That spiraled. Seeing all these couples together in the mall, made me feel all the more alone. Nonetheless, The hunt progressed. Thoughts of Jimin begging suppressed in my mind. Attempting to find something for him, nothing was to his taste. Well- nothing I had already gotten. I knew the stores were all closing earlier due to Christmas eve. Much to my dismay the mall announcement came through. 

“All stores will be closing in less than ten minutes. Thank you!”

I was empty handed. Feeling defeated, I made my way out of the mall sulking. Until my last hope. My eyes lit up as an Idea came to mind. Running into the store as quickly as I could without anyone noticing. Sure it was Uncomfortably close to closing but I’d just hoped this would work. 

***********************

Getting home I ran the shopping bag upstairs and hid it in the spare room closet. Just before the door to the house swung open. A cold breeze is sure to follow. Making my way to greet who I easily assumed to be Jimin. A slight pink dusted my cheeks. Jimin all the same, but he was from the cold. Dusting off the slight snow that dusted his sandy hair. Patting down his thick plaid sweater, a white button up easily seen and black jeans he shivered, letting the warmth soak in. His warm welcoming eyes greeted me without a word. A smile quickly spread across his plump lips. Setting down an obvious bag he opened his arms to me.

“I’m home!” He chuckled out. Flying into his inviting hug, snuggling into his chest slightly. We both embraced each other at the door smiling. Jimin’s arms reached across my back. His classic rose and spice collagen hit my nose.That’s what I had wanted all day. His touch. Him. everything was perfect.Until Jimin let out a stressed sigh.“Sorry I’ve been so busy.” 

“It’s ok!” I replied pulling back from the hug, my hand on his lean shoulders. My gaze focused up on him. His head hung low, gaze on me. “I understand you're busy. I knew that you would be. You guys host that insane party every year. If you ever needed help you could have asked. Anyway, It doesn't matter now. Your home and it's christmas eve! Let's relax before the big day hm?”

“Alright. Alright. Let's get set up.” Jimin reassured me, picking up the bag he had dropped moments ago. Waddling off into the kitchen. I trailed not too far behind. Curious at what he meant. 

“Get ready?” 

“To decorate cookies! Hoseok gave us some extra to decorate. I thought it would be fun when he made the suggestion.” He opened the bag as I peaked in. seeing a nice stack of homemade gingerbread men and trees. As well as a decent array of icing colors. He trailed off into the kitchen setting the bag on the table. Jimin’s gaze focused back on me.  “I’ll set these up and you go play some christmas tunes?”

This was my chance.

“Y-yeah! You go ahead, I'll be right back!” Before Jimin could question anyhing I ran up the stairs my face again flushed. Not knowing how I could pull this off. Going into the spare room where I had tossed the bag earlier I prepared the gift quickly. Being sure to stay quiet enough so he wouldn't get suspicious of me being so late to get this gift. Jimin had set out most of the supplies when I greeted him in the otherwise empty kitchen. Cookies filled the table along side the sprinkles and colorful bag of icing. Flicking on some background Christmas themed music. I slid across the hardwood floor with my fuzzy socks. My hands now resting on the table next to Jimin. 

“They look edible enough.” Jimin chuckled to himself. I elbowed him after his comment. Though I knew he was only teasing. Figures. 

“Well. if it were Namjoon making them, they may not be. They look great!” replying to his previous sas. My eyes scanned the table as my body leaned over the table slightly. 

“Let's start then! The night won't wait for us.” He kissed me on the cheek with a little giggle, before grabbing an icing bag and chair. I did an awkward pause after. The thought of him liking his gift taking over my thoughts. Sweet chatter about the Christmas party planning chaos. Of course it was chaos. It was BTS after all. Smiling, warming and lighting up the house. Brighter than any Christmas tree ever could. Our evening was near. After decorating all of the cookies that remained from the large batch we made hot cocoa. Stacking cookies and warm mugs on a tray. Taking the two treats to the welcoming couch, with cozy blankets.Snuggled close together leaning on Jimin's shoulder as we snacked away. His head rested on mine, his sandy hair almost in my view.. The thing I had dreamed about all day. Our warmth compared nothing to the winds outside. We sat in comfortable silence as Jimin hummed peacefully. The only music I needed to hear. The fireplace crackled in front of us. Making the most wonderful sound. 

The silence was broken by more welcomed chatter. The traditional christmas movie playing softly behind the conversation. It had been awhile since we had talked like this. Sure we lived together but it was get home and go to bed for the past while. But this lovely night was getting closer to an end. It was around ten o'clock. I didn't mention the gifts that were supposed to be exchanged soon. Hoping he'd forget. Since I had always been the one to bring it up due to excitement. But my hopes were shot down.

“I can't wait anymore.” Jimin stated as he untangled me from him. Making his way toward the tree he came back with a purple box about the size of his hand. A pretty bow was tied in the middle nearly the same color as the thin box. Sitting next to me. “Merry christmas eve. I hope you like it as much as I do.”

“Oh my goodness.” Opening the box carefully there were two silver bracelets. One engraved with Jimin and the other had my name. The ends were decorated with small designs I couldn't define as anything in particular. Upon further inspection the inside part was engraved too. With an ‘With you’ in slight cursive. Looking over to Jimin who had his hand behind his head, his eyes flickering to the fireplace then floor. Not meeting my gaze. I could feel happy tears fill my eyes. 

“I-i made them after a vlog shoot. Do you like them?- wait. Why are you crying? Are they that bad?” Jimin’s focus now is on me, his warm hand on my shoulder. Leaning toward my face. He inched closer to me, our thighs now touching. 

“I'm not crying! I love them of course Jimin! You made them!?” ok. I did tear up a bit but I didn't cry. The writing was so detailed and effort was clearly visible. He sighed in relief and let go of me. Lifting up my hand closest to him, he slipped with one with his name on my wrist. While the other went on him, baring my name. His soft lips curled into a smile as he looked down at the bracelets. This was WAY better than what I ended up getting him. Now it was my turn to give him his gift. “O-on another note. I have a gift for you too..”

Clearly he was confused. His doe eyes searched around me for any sign of a gift. Those doe eyes would soon change I'd hope. His eyebrows contorted. That's because his gift was on me.. As much as I hated this, it was all I had. Having put the effort in to even put it on. I took my hand from his. My face is red, lifting the bottom of my knit sweater slightly. His eyes instantly followed, seeing the shock visible in Jimin's eyes. Red lace. 

“I-its me-!” Before I could even finish that embarrassing sentence he pounced. His hands on either side of my head, my hands above my head. His once innocent doe eyes changed into lust in a mear second. Sandy hair falling out of place dangling over me. He leaned down to my ear, pressing his body against me slightly.

“May I?~” Jimin whispered sensually but sweetly, in a lower voice than he usually spoke. Making my stomach turn. Nodding sheepishly at him. My head turned to look into the blazing fire, warm as our bodies were becoming. Jimin lifted up my shirt to reveal my stomach and lower waist. Red lace decorated my form. Snaking his head down my body as he left soft kisses until reaching the bare skin. My body flinched at the feeling. His warm lips on my now cold bare skin. His eyes looked up to me longingly from my waist. Averting my gaze again realizing I had been staring. He let out a little chuckle. The vibrations felt easily across my stomach. 

“Ah~” I jumped slightly at the new feeling. My hands flew down to his silky hair like a reflex. He had licked an uneven stripe leading up to my chest. Covered by the crinkled up clothes and lace under yet to be revealed. At first he left open mouth kisses along my lower waist and stomach around the lace. Moans flooded out of my lips without my consent. Nonetheless Jimin certainly didn't seem to mind. As my voice grew louder and heavier breaths, his kisses turned into budding hickeys. He tugged at the hem of my shirt as his head was now above me again. 

“This isn't-too much is it?” He stuttered, his face growing pinker by each word. Again adorably deadly. 

“N-no.. enjoy your gift a-as you’d like..” I can't believe I just said that. Jimins gaze told the same expression. My hands trailed down from sandy hair to his shoulders. lips again on mine. My back arched, attempting to feel his warmth again. Jimin had yet another gift for me I suppose. Our breaths fanned across the small space between us. Until He pulled back. My heart filled with anxiety and butterflies. Jimin sat on my lap tearing off the sweater and shirt he was wearing over his head. My boyfriend's abs stared back at me tauntingly. The familiar scent of roses and spice graced my nose. His hands wandered back to me not a moment after. Finally, painfully slowly. Removing my sweater, While the red Bra matching the set I had bought, was ‘unwrapped.’ A few butterfly kisses traced my neck as Jimin leaned into my neck, sandy hair tickling my face. His hands lightly traced my figure between our bodies. 

“Fuck You're so sweet.” Jimin whispered in my ear slightly. “Behave for me?”

“Mm hm.” I nodded slightly, but fast enough to get to where I had planned with this silly scheme. He chuckled teasingly before kissing his way down my form again. My hands making their way to the sandy blonde hair. Feeling myself longing for more of his touch from every one he gave. Getting back to where he had started my lower stomach. My voice was louder and the small noises from Jimin were clear enough. He was losing his patience. With that he stopped his kisses. As I protested. “Huh?”

“Hang on baby. I’m not going anywhere. I haven't even used my gift yet.” Jimin again chuckled. My protests were shot down by my flustered face. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for my stupid idea anyway. He pulled one of my legs over his shoulder, face leaning into my thigh. Soon leaving kisses. “This is a gift I'd never refuse.”

[the-canid-crew]

*Cracks knuckles*

🍄 - Our original name was The Chaos Trio because there were well... three of us. But we realized that wouldn't be very friendly to any new splits so we changed it to The Canid Crew because everyone in our system identifies as in the canid family. As for if any other animal splits... we'll figure that out when we get there LOL

👾 - God damn I don't have the memory for this how dare you /nm If I think of something I'll add to this post lol

🎉 - Halloween that's not even a fuckin question- We LOVE horror. And you get to dress up as someone you aren't? Banger holiday and makes us feel less awkward when someone other than the host fronts.

🌙 - Nope, sounds like a giant can of worms I'm glad I don't have to open.

☕ - Trying to manually switch is like the following: You're in a car and as you're driving you try and switch seats with the driver- while simultaneously not being able to see your body from the waist down. You have to rely on touch alone and squeezing past each other. If either one of you is hesitant or not in it, it's not gonna work.

"Natural" switching however, is very smooth. You just slide up to the front when you suddenly have something to say or do without even thinking of how the process works. Not unlike breathing, I suppose.

💫 - Uhhhh drawing I suppose, although we all do it a bit differently. I tend to have darker lines and not care much for it's quality as long as it gets the message across, Theo's line darkness depends on the pencil itself and they're more detail oriented, and Aries likes sketching out scenery and making pretty gradients.

💾 - 3 "primary" alters and 4 blends. Kinda weird me and Aries can blend into an additional alter but that would require another post for potential theories.

👻 - Oooh yes. Theo normally uses our "birth" voice but when they feel comfortable they get very high pitched and squeaky. I have a deeper voice that makes replicating Theo's voice or even our birth voice a fucking PAIN in the ass. Aries has a british accent because of course he does, but when masking he resolves to being slightly deeper(?) and more monotone.

🎨 - Hell yeah. Beyond drawing I also like to write poetry. Aries, the scholarly fuck, likes writing stories. Theo is the most centered around digital and traditional drawing. Darnell is a theatrical bitch. There's more but those are just the art related hobbies we do the most.

🥀 - Not very easily. We have good communication and thus support system, so if any of us are really stressed we can just talk to each other instead of our brain feeling the need to create more gremlins. I think our stability is due in part to our childhood trauma starting to stop after me and Aries split, so we had more time to catch our breath and grow into our skins properly.

🦖 - Uhhh sort of related fun fact: Everyone except Theo was based off an oc at some point, and even Theo made themselves a fursona to help adjust after Erebus' split. It's a support for growth and helps avoid all the icky feelings of "who or what the fuck am I". How do we know we aren't just roleplaying with ourselves? Neither me or anyone else is exactly like our ocs. And not in a "we changed it" way, we just weren't like that, Theo got stuff wrong. We also have a ton of various "inspos" that collectively make us up, but in general, we still consider ourselves brain-made.

🎵 - Hrm.

Me: Favorite Color is Blue by Robert DeLong

Theo: Appetite Of A People-Pleaser by GHOST

Aries: Rät by Penelope Scott

Erebus: Faint by Linkin Park

Darnell: My Ordinary Life by The Living Tombstone

Aster: People I Don't Like by UPSAHL

Creamsicle: We Won't Stop Until Someone Calls The Cops - 4Lung

❓ - Our bad memory is just because of general disassociation and ADHD, we all remember the exact same things. I guess you could argue we experience some level of emotional amnesia though since whoever was fronting at the time is the most impacted by what we experienced but *shrug*

🎮 - I'm usually the one on social media, Youtube or playing video games. Or napping or snacking. Theo usually draws but doesn't procrastinate as much as me so they have less free time. Aries also doesn't procrastinate or even front all that much, but he likes to record random shit about our system and almost always makes a cup of tea because. OF. COURSE. HE DOES. /lh

🪐 - It's an infinite black void with an aurora lining the horizon, with the colors of whoever's fronting since we're color coded. The floor ripples like water and it's a bit chilly but only on the surface of your skin/fur. We can also just flip around certain parts of the floor to get different areas, like the forest or our house. You could say we're minimalistic (NOT LIKE IRL AT ALL LOL)

🍐 - Yes, in fact, none of us are humans. We're literally all furries XD

🔋 (I can't find the low battery emoji so suffer) - Sit in our room by ourselves sometimes with white noise, all the lights off, and just like... take a nap or do nothing. We don't really have any other way that works :/ At least not for the hell that is school.

🌧 - I don't experience much anxiety and that allows me to give a different perspective to someone as overly anxious as Theo. Usually using logic is the best route. How likely something is to happen? What are steps we could take to make it better if it did happen? Or if all else fails- Passive influence/I just do it myself. Then we treat ourselves once we've done it ✨ The first step really helps, but that being said, when you've LIVED in stress for so long you can do everything right and it still takes a lot of time to heal.

🔦 - OH. DAMN I THOUGHT IT HAD BEEN 2 YEARS IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE?? Fucking long year holy shit. Anyway, we were rewatching an interview with someone who had D.I.D. and were like "Hah that's funny. I sometimes feel like that but I don't get all that weird amnesia stuff." So to learn more about it because it's interesting how the brain works to protect you, we researched into it. Then it kinda wasn't funny anymore because the descriptions of the alters sounded a LOT like Erebus. Somewhere in there we also fully realized that we'd been emotionally abused pretty much our entire life so it wasn't looking great lol. So y'know, we ask a friend and go through the symptoms and shit until we find the term ✨ OSDD-1b ✨ and that clicked. I dunno. It might sound kind of uneducated but I ASSURE you we watched and read as much content as we could possibly consume and still do. At that point with discovery after discovery (we figured out we had ADHD not too long ago too) we were just kind of apathetic, relieved and maybe- well- I was excited because some of my trauma was exasperated by being an "imaginary friend" and I finally got the validation I deserved.

🌟 - Theo is the host and gets us through the school day, Aries usually helps with essays and shit like that and I am stuck with homework duty >:(

🌊 - Theo is the host and almost always out, but I come out (of the closet /j) second most and act as the backup host.

🎁 - Uhhh probably one or two things? Once again, if I recall I'll add to this post.

☘ - Since we don't have introjects really, our most common inspos are FNaF and our family.

💬 - Hrm. I guess blend infodump time. Our blends are temporary fusions between alters. For some reason pretty much all of these blends are more fucked up instead of less which... is weird to say the least. Still looking into it. Both me and Aries split from Erebus and we can blend back into him too. We don't know what, if anything, causes us to blend into him instead of Darnell. Maybe just different triggers? Fucking weird man.

system ask meme

🍄 - how did you get your system name?

👾 - funniest out of context system quote?

🎉 - favorite system holiday?

🌙 - do you have subsystems?

☕ - what is switching like for you?

💫 - are there any hobbies you all have?

💾 - what's your headcount?

👻 - do your alters/headmates have different voices or speech patterns?

🎨 - does anyone in your system like art?

🥀 - how easily does the system split?

🦖 - is your system fictive-heavy? factive-heavy? neutral?

🎵 - what songs remind you of your alters/headmates?

❓ - how much amnesia do you experience?

🎮 - what do your alters/headmates do in their free time?

🪐 - what is headspace like for you?

🍐 - are there any non-human alters/headmates?

🪫 - what do you all do to recharge?

🌧️ - how does the system cope with stress?

🔦 - how did you discover your system?

🌟 - do any alters help out with school/work?

🌊 - who are your frequent fronters?

🎁 - have you ever bought your alters/headmates things?

☘️ - what are your introjects/fictives usually sourced from?

💬 - free space!! tell me about something!

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #149

Do you like getting flowers as a gift? I do, even though I can't quite explain why, like they're just gonna die now. I think it's pure tradition which makes me like it, despite the fact I generally don't give a microscopic shit about traditions.

Who is one person you never get tired of? My boyfriend.

How different would your life be if “that one thing” didn’t happen? I'd almost certainly be married to and have kids with someone who didn't ultimately believe in me and was by this point probably extremely frustrated with me being mentally ill that he'd likely hate me. We would not be a happy couple. Who knows, maybe I never even would've gotten the mental help I needed.

What is “that one thing”? A traumatic breakup.

What’s the most desperate thing you did? god I am NOOOOOOT going there

Where was the last place you took a train to? I've never been on a train, actually.

What are your living arrangements currently? Are you happy with them? I live with my mom and our pets. Yes, I enjoy my mom's company, but both me and Girt want our own place by now, it's just not reasonable with the housing market.

Have you met your soulmate? I don't believe in those.

If your best friend wanted to cheat on their partner, you would say what? Well my best friend is my boyfriend, so we wouldn't stay together. In the hypothetical where my best friend wasn't my own partner, I'd definitely tell them to do the same, not just straight-up cheat. Let them go first.

Who do you know that gives very sound advice? Specifically Mazzy, they are fantastic at balancing realism with acknowledgment of emotions.

At what age did you start to feel like a teen and not a kid anymore? It was the exact day I started my period, which was 12 or 13, according to my mom.

What is your parents’ idea of grounding you? Taking away computer privileges.

Do you think art museums are pointless? ?????????????????????? does ANYBODY ACTUALLY think this?????????????????????

Do you care about looks when you’re looking for a romantic partner? I don't think I do, or if I do, it must have to be a case of extreme unattractiveness for me to notice. Me being attracted to someone has to be no less than at LEAST 90% about personality.

How many times have you moved? Officially four, but I've "lived" in apartments with Jason and much later Colleen temporarily.

Is Christmas stressful? It's not for me, yet, I'm sure because I'm not expected to get my loved ones stuff because I have no income. I already have to ask my fucking mom to get at least ONE thing for my s/o, because that's one I feel WAY too bad about not getting anything for, even though he doesn't care whatsoever. It's such a garbage fucking feeling. Historically I've always made/gotten people gifts I put a shitload of thought into and often a great deal of effort, so me ACTUALLY having money to buy gifts for so many people for a holiday will likely be really stressful for me. I'd likely obsess over something not being "good enough" or overspend.

Your best friend has a good or bad taste in music? Good, we like mostly the same stuff, but there are some small surprises. His music on shuffle is insane though haha, going from death metal to some goofy parody song.

What would your friends be surprised to see in your music library? The number of Melanie Martinez songs on my iPod would definitely surprise people, I genuinely like a lot of her stuff.

Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship? Yes, it's reassurance to me that you're actually interested in staying together.

Do you like public displays of affection? Only to a certain extent; I don't want to do overtly sexual things in public, but things like simple, quick kisses or calling me a petname in front of others, I do like because it shows me you're not ashamed of being with me.

Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? For me, that's what I'd prefer. I want to see how well we operate living under the same roof until we decide to do that forever.

Do you watch mukbangs? No, I've never quite gotten the appeal. Actually I have watched people who normally do vlog-like content do mukbangs as a random thing in the past, but that's primarily because I was invested in them as people and just liked watching whatever they did, but it's been years.

How do you lose weight? What’s your favourite diet food and exercise? Gonna be full honest, historically my biggest weight loss period was from extreme undereating, like I did nothing else to cause it, and because of that I'm still dealing with it as I try to re-lose weight I gained back, but I've been at a plateau for a very long time now... which I now know is likely from how extreme my hypothyroidism is. As a teenager I lost a good deal of weight from playing WiiFit daily; I got in the best shape of my entire life with it. I have gone done a bit with physical therapy too. I haven't found a reliable - and safe - weight loss method that works for me yet as an adult...

Do you have a lot of friends? Do you have a partner? Have you ever had one? I don't have many friends, but those I do have are pretty fucking great quality. I have a boyfriend and he's my best friend literally ever.

Do you currently have any hickeys? From who? No.

Who was the last person to come to your house? Girt.

Have you ever had sex with the same gender? Totally honest I'm not really sure what the consensus is on what cis female x cis female sex is, but either way I say no.

If you’ve experienced both, is sex better with men or women? I have a feeling that sexually I'll always prefer men, but I wouldn't really know.

Have you ever been the other woman? No, I will not be somebody's second choice.

Would you ever want to be with a virgin? If no, why not? I couldn't care less. Neither of the people I've been with sexually were/are, but it wouldn't bother me at all.

Do you constantly find yourself internet stalking your ex? No, last I knew he only had Facebook and I was (rightfully) blocked, but I haven't even tried to look in a very long time. I don't look at Sara's accounts anywhere because I've learned it never, ever serves me any sort of good whatsoever so I just don't.

Are you friends with any of your exes? Not really; I don't have any bad blood with Aaron, we just haven't talked since like, the start of high school, and he deactivated his Facebook many years ago. Juan and I have recently messaged some, but I'm keeping distant and have no interest in actually pursuing friendship with him.

Do you have an addiction? To what? Internet, for sure. I've been that way since I was a kid, and it's never been fixed. I am annoyingly useless without Internet connection, like I have no idea what to do and it's seriously pathetic.

Blunts, bowls or bongs? I don't smoke, so I wouldn't know.

When you have a fight with your partner what do you do? We talk it out. We haven't had many of these at all, so I don't have a big pool of reference, but we absolutely value remaining calm (something I'm learning to be better at) and being completely upfront and honest. We put a lot of emphasis on maintaining strong communication.

Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom.

Are your parents still together? Hell no, I have a hard time believing they ever were lol. Dad is so like, not the person I would picture my mom falling in love with.

Have any siblings you know of but don’t actually know personally? Yes, my dad's first daughter Tiffany. Never met her in my life and know almost nothing about her; I think I've only seen a single picture of her. I love my dad but he does not get any fatherly awards, given he has nothing to do with her and very barely Misty, the daughter from his first marriage. The one time Misty came here with her kids, it was literally her who reached out to him to go to dinner and just meet his grandkids. It bothers me that it's only me and my two full-blooded sisters who seem to always matter to him.

Greatest fear? Living alone on the streets with nowhere to go.

Something most people fear that you do not fear at all? Snakes are one, I'm always stoked to see a snake.

Don’t you hate getting nice & comfy & then having to pee? UGH YES, and it sucks because I absolutely HAVE to get up and do it or else I literally cannot fall asleep.

Ever faked being pregnant? No, and these people fucking disgust me. This isn't a topic you joke about.

Ever had a major surgery performed on you? I wouldn't call either that I've had "major," no, at least I don't think so.

Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of? I mean at some point I experience all of them, but sloth is the one I'm MOST guilty of.

Do you believe in divorce? Yes, it should absolutely always be legal to leave someone if they no longer enrich your life. I VERY much do believe you should put immense thought into marriage and NEVER rush into it, and look into various possible futures with that partner and see if you still feel the same. I do definitely believe that a large percentage of people certainly don't take marriage seriously enough and never should've gotten married in the first place, but yes, divorce should always be an available option for people.

Is intelligence a turn on for you? Yes, show me that big brain papi

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom.

Do you treat others better or worse than yourself and why? Oh, way better. I just don't like myself enough and hold myself to absurd standards I don't have for others.

When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first? Oh, it has ALWAYS been the other person, with literally everyone I've ever shared a bed with. I have always had major difficulty with falling asleep; I even struggled as a kid. My brain just cannot shut off, ever.

Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for their child to outlive them? Both are fucking awful, but I definitely think it's more difficult for a parent to outlive their child; like you have kids being so sure that you're going out first, that you'll never have to be in a world without them again, but for plenty of people, it happens.

What is one selfish thing you tend to do? I HATE talking when I'm listening to music, specifically if Mom and I are in the car; I've controlled the music forever, and I have to admit that I get annoyed when she talks over it sometimes; unless she's literally attempting conversation, I don't reply to most things she says aloud; if it doesn't require my input, I'm not saying anything. I'm fully aware how bitchy that is, it's just this shitty thing about me I've never managed to correct.

What kinds of people do you find intimidating? Pushy, loud people that are entirely blunt and not afraid of hurting your feelings at all and are go go go 200% of the time.

Who is the most overbearing person you know? Our fucking landlord/family "friend," which I don't really consider her anymore.

How old was the first person you kissed? At the time we kissed, he was early into 18.

Do you plan on moving out within the next year? It'd be nice, but I'm not so sure it's gonna happen.

Have you ever slept nude? Only accidentally, just kinda Happened and I'm very grateful I stayed under the covers because this was with my teenage bf with his parents home lmfao

How many stories tall is your dream house? Honestly a dream house for me would still be one story; I don't want more rooms than we need (just more cleaning to do) and I'm not into stairs, lol.

Do you consider yourself to be promiscuous? Entirely the opposite.

Do you have any obscure pets? No, ball pythons are very common pet snakes, and the champagne morph is popular.

Do you consider yourself politically correct? I try to be, but I do sometimes worry about slipping up with a word I didn't know was even offensive.

[elena-oc-blog]

round 2!

🌌 ✏️ 🌪️- Goop

👑 ❇️ 🔥 -Aurora

HI SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY, I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO DRAG MYSELF TO MY LAPTOP UNTIL NOW Now onto the answers to your wonderful questions uwu 🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

I created goop when I was still living at my dad's. I was working in my little studio room and I think some kids were being very loud outside? And it was giving me sensory overload so I doodled a very anxious crying dragon with big ears and colored it and that's how goop came to be! His most important features are his big pupiled crying eyes and long sensitive ears as noise is the thing im most sensitive to. He is basically my anxiety sona!

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

Since he is a sona of sorts rather than a full on OC I don't really think about them a lot in that way. I moreso think of them any time I am experiencing a large amount of anxiety, emotional distress and/or sensory overload. Maybe "The world is a loud and scary place"? 🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

Well the first iteration of him is the image i added to the milkyway question. Since I was stressed (and also it was 2018) the art and main personality points are a bit rough. However with therapy and time I refined his personality a lot more. He enjoys nature (and its sounds) and being by himself, they don't like going out in the fcrowded city, they are an artist that prefers using traditional media. Basically he now also has some of my more positive traits instead of only being constantly terrified and crying. I mean he still is but he also finds comfort in things and some sensory experiences. Its not all bad.

(also he has beans now because beans make everything better) 👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

She doesn't really worry about having to be remembered as something. She is a goddess and practically immortal (though gods can be killed in my universe. It would just take a lot of effort) so she doesnt think about post mortum things. She also doesn't really want to be remembered by most, she works mostly behind the scenes pulling on strings. Some mortals worship her and while she "blesses" them with dark powers and corrupted bodies, she doesn't really care about them all that much. Sure they help her in causing chaos and fear in the world but she doesn't necessarily need mortals for that. She has her demons and creations afterall. A few she is a bit closer to like sable and marble crocodile man once i make him but to them she is more like a wine aunt. She sometimes chats with them, gives commentary and advice as well as blessings but again she isnt super attached. So in short, her goal isn't really to be remembered by mortals. Just to destroy them.

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

That would be her creation Thorn. She is very pleased with how he turned out and how good he is in spreading terror amongst mortals. Rex is probably a close second, as he is basically her security cam system as well as manager of her many imps and demons. Very valuable as he allows her to watch and see all after most of her divine power was sealed away. Being a goddess, she can materialise items without any trouble so material goods do not interest her. It's souls and her living creations that she is invested in. Souls for providing an energy source as well as a base for demon creation so it costs less energy. And her 3 main creations Rex, Thorn and Crom were early creations that she made out of pure magic when her powers werent fully sealed away yet. She doesn't want all that magic to go to waste. Even if Crom gets on her nerves a lot, she doesn't want him to die. He performs pretty outstanding on soul reaping actually, she just wishes he was less clingy and annoying about it and was less obsessed with killing his little brother. I hope i answered this properly my brain is being a lil weird. 🔥 FIRE - do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

Aurora is extremely bitter and refuses to let go of the past. Astron is hoping that her time on earth will make her appreciate and understand mortals but so far no luck. He won't return her full powers unless she stops being so hateful and destructive towards mortals so I guess thats kinda self destructive of her to obsess over making all mortals pay for the betrayal the people she made commited. Also consuming souls is kind of a no no and might be fucking with her already corrupted ethereal body. It might make her sick. I'll need to look into that.

[highabovethecloudssomewhere]

tips/resources that taught me how to Art as an Adult - a masterlist

Four years ago I decided that “I’m too old to learn how to draw” is a pointless lie I’d believed for too long and you’re never too old to learn something new. I still definitely consider myself a novice and a learner but I’m at a very happy place with my art and I’m having a ton of fun so I thought I’d pass along the tips/resources that helped me get started and kept me motivated. 

I’ll get into resources under the cut, but here are personal tips I lined up for myself that helped during the early stages of frustration and wanting to give up. obviously they won’t work for everyone, but they really kept me going

fill 14 sketchbooks. if you still want to give up after that you can (I’m currently at 13 sketchbooks and could not imagine ever letting it go)

what specifically do you want to be able to draw? For me my goal has always been characters and cats. I’ve added things to it here and there, but starting out overwhelmed with how much you don’t know isn’t great. find a handful of things you really want to draw and see where it takes you.

get yourself a sketchbook fancy enough that you feel cool as heck but cheap enough that you don’t mind absolutely destroying it. Personally, I love EXCEED bullet journals. the dotted paper keeps me from being too picky but are less intrusive than lined paper. From my experience, EXCEED bullet journals takes acrylic and ink like a champ, and they’ve got nice covers that just make you “feel” cool. confidence is important!

acrylic paint and post-it notes are great ways to cover mistakes. I personally love anything that makes my sketchbooks feel “sketchbooky” so this is super fun. 

it is okay to “waste”/”ruin” pages. one time I was in “I’m a failure” artblock and so I poured black coffee onto my sketchbook. (it was gonna get dumped out anyway and I was Very frustrated with my art.) then when the pages dried I just kept right along using it. taught me a lot about not being perfect. sketchbooks are about learning and love, not about perfection.

try drawing in pen. seriously, draw in pen. it’s scary as frick to not be able to go back on mistakes but that’s what the post-it acrylic-paint tip is for, and it’ll help with all sorts of stuff like lineweight and line confidence. it takes some of the stress off too because, you screw up? oh well! Try again! it encourages “try again” over “meticulously nitpick until it’s perfect” and has done wonders for me. I started out my first two sketchbooks in pencil before making the switch and I’ve never gone back. 

(also sketching in highlighter and lining with pen is super fun and cool and satisfying!)

the first page doesn’t matter. I usually just use the first page of the sketchbook to write my favorite songs at the time and then do the same thing on the last page. first page jitters begone. 

(starting in the middle of the sketchbook also gets rid of those jitters pretty nicely. I tried this a couple times and personally still prefer the linear front-to-back but it was fun for a while.)

picking a color theme for your sketchbook can make it feel more “sketchbooky” too. I usually go with blue or orange- blue acrylic paint, blue post-it notes, those cheap blue BIC pens, etc. I like this bc it makes the sketchbook feel like a sketchbook and is very satisfying.

And figure out why you’re doing it. I did it because I always wanted to make cool art and draw my characters, but if you’re doing it for a career then obviously the path to that looks much different. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be inspired by people who are better than you. Acknowledge where you need to grow and where you’re strongest. Lean into those strengths. Adapt to those weaknesses. Be proud of being a beginner- you won’t be one for long. 

Now: some of my favorite creatives and resources!

///

CREATORS:

"Kasey Golden" Mostly traditional art, mostly watercolor, cartoonist, art challenges

"DrawingWiffWaffles" Mostly traditional art, alcohol markers & pens, semi-realism

"LavenderTowne" Digital art, art tips/tutorials, cartoonist

"ABD Illustrates" Digital art, speedpaints, semi-realism

"Proko" (or "Stan Prokopenko") Realism, anatomy tutorials, free complete "Anatomy For Artists" series- basically as hogwild as you can get learning hyper-realistic anatomy

"Ethan Becker" Digital art, ex-DreamWorks employee, tips/tutorials, "Perfect Practice"

"Sinix Design" Digital art, anatomy tips/tutorials, general tips/tutorials, realist

"Oliver's Antics" Digital and traditional art, tips/tutorials, speedpaints, semi-realistic style

“Nerdforge” Traditional art, painting, metalwork, woodwork, bookbinding, building, seriously these people do everything they’re incredible

///

FOR GESTURE DRAWING:

Line of Action Gesture drawing, figure drawing, optional timed practice sessions

AdorkaStock fantastic line of unique reference poses

 ///

Aaand that’s about all I’ve got! there are so many resources out there and so many amazing artists to be inspired by. just have fun with art! art is freedom. be proud to be a beginner and be excited for how you’ll grow. I hope these tips are helpful for someone out there! <3 

Here’s my first digital artwork (April 2019) up against my latest (August 2022)

April 2019:

August 2022:

best of luck to you all. I believe in each and every one of you. <3 happy drawing!

[star-anise]

Ok, I'll bite. What *is* the difference between Bridgerton and Jane Austen in relationship to their skirts?

Oh! Not in their costuming, just in their general *waves hands* everything. It's a comment I see a lot about Bridgerton: "Well, it's not much like Austen, is it?"

That's because there are 200 years of literary history between the two, and they have not been empty!

This ended up being 1.5k words, but when I put stuff under a readmore, people don't actually read it and then just yell at me because of a misread of the 1/10th of the post they did read. Press j to skip or get ready to do a lot of scrolling (It takes four generous flicks to get past on my iPhone).

First I'll say my perspective on this is hugely shaped by Sherwood Smith, who has done a lot of research on silver fork novels and the way the Regency has been remembered in the romance genre.

The Regency and Napoleonic eras stretch from basically the 1790s to 1820, and after that, it was hard to ignore the amount of social change happening in Britain and Europe. The real watershed moment is the 1819 Peterloo Massacre, where 60,000 working-class people protesting for political change were attacked by a militia. The issues of poverty, class, industrialization, and social change are inescapable, and we end up with things like the 1832 Reform Act and 1834 Poor Law.

This is why later novelists, like Charles Dickens and Elizabeth Gaskell, are so concerned with the experiences of the urban poor. Gaskell's North and South has been accurately described as "Pride and Prejudice for socialists."

So almost as soon as it ended, people started to look back and mythologize the Regency as a halcyon era, back when rich people could just live their rich lives and fret about "only" having three hundred pounds a year to live on. Back when London society was the domain of hereditary landowners, when you weren't constantly meeting with jumped-up industrialists and colonials.

Jane Austen is kind of perfect for this because she comes at the very end of the long eighteenth century, and her novels show hints of the tremors that are about to completely reshape England, but still comfortably sit in the old world. ("The Musgroves, like their houses, were in a state of alteration, perhaps of improvement. The father and mother were in the old English style, and the young people in the new. Mr and Mrs Musgrove were a very good sort of people; friendly and hospitable, not much educated, and not at all elegant. Their children had more modern minds and manners.")

Sherwood Smith covers the writers who birthed the Silver Fork genre in detail, but there's one name that stands out in its history more than any other: Georgette Heyer.

Georgette Heyer basically single-handedly established the Regency Romance as we know it today. Between 1935 and 1972, she published 26 novels set in a meticulously researched version of London of the late 18th and early 19th century. She took Silver Fork settings and characters and turned them into a highly recognizable set of tropes, conventions, and types. (As Sherwood points out, her fictional Regency England isn't actually very similar to the period as it really happened; it's like Arthurian Camelot, a mythical confection with a dash of truth for zest.)

Regency Romance is an escapist genre in which a happy, prosperous married life is an attainable prize that will solve everything for you. Georgette Heyer's novels are bright, sparkling, delightful romps through a beautiful and exotic world. Her female characters have spirit and vivacity, and are allowed to have flaws and make mistakes without being puritanically punished for them. Her romances have real unique sparks to them. She's able to write a formula over and over without it becoming dull.

And.... well. The essay that introduced me to Heyer still, in my opinion, says it best:

Here's the thing about Georgette Heyer: she hates you. Or, okay, she doesn't hate you, exactly. It's just that unless you are white, English, and upper class (and hale, and hearty, and straight, and and and), she thinks you are a lesser being. [...W]ith Heyer, I knew where I stood: somewhere way below the bottom rung of humanity. Along with everyone else in the world except Prince William and four of his friends from Eton, which really took away the sting. But my point is: if you are not that white British upper-class person of good stock and hearty bluffness and a large country estate, the only question for you is which book will contain a grimly bigoted caricature of you featuring every single stereotyped trait ever associated with your particular group. (You have to decide for yourself if really wonderful female characters and great writing are worth the rest of it.)

So Heyer created the genre, but she exacerbated the flaw that was always at the heart of fiction about the Regency, was that its appeal was not having to deal with the inherent rot of the British aristocracy. I think part of why it's such a popular genre in North America specifically is that we often don't know much British history, so we can focus more on the perfume and less on the dank odor it's hiding.

And like, escapism is not a bad thing. Romance writers as a community have sat down and said: We are an escapist genre. The Romance Writers of America, one of the biggest author associations out there, back when they were good, have foundationally said: "Two basic elements comprise every romance novel: a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending." A strong part of the community argue that publishing in the genre is a "contract" between author and reader: If it's marketed as a romance book, there's a Happily Ever After. If there's no Happily Ever After, it's not romance.

It's important for people to be able to take a break from the stresses of their lives and do things that are enjoyable. But the big question the romance genre in particular has to deal with is, who should be allowed to escape? Is it really "escapist" if only white, straight, upper class, able-bodied thin cis people get to escape into it? In historical romance, this is especially an issue for POC and LGBTQ+ people. It's taken a lot of work, in a genre dominated by the Georgette Heyers of the world, to try to hew out the space for optimistic romances for people of colour or LGBTQ+ people. These are minority groups that deal with a literally damaging amount of stress in real lives; they are in especial need of sources of comfort, refuge, community, and encouragement. For brief introductions to the issue, I can give you Talia Hibbert on race, and KJ Charles on LGBTQ+ issues.

Up until the 1990s, the romance genre evolved slowly. It did evolve; Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan's Beyond Heaving Bosoms charts the demise of the "bodice-ripper" genre as it became more acceptable for women to have and enjoy sex. The historical romance genre became more accommodating to non-aristocratic heroines, or ones that weren't thin or conventionally pretty. The first Bridgerton book, The Duke and I, was published in 2000, and has that kind of vibe: Its characters are all white but not all of them are aristocrats, its heroines are frequently not conventionally beautiful and occasionally plump, and its cultivation to modern sensibility is reflected in its titles, which reference popular media of today.

This is just my impression, but I think that while traditional mainstream publishing was beginning to diversify in the 1990s, the Internet was what really made diverse romance take off. Readers, reviewers, and authors could talk more freely on the internet, which allowed books to become unlikely successes even if their publishers didn't promote them very much. Then e-publishing meant that authors could market directly to their readers without the filter of a publishing house, and things exploded. Indie ebooks proved that there was a huge untapped market.

One of my favourite books, Zen Cho's Sorcerer to the Crown, is an example of what historical romance is like today; it's a direct callback and reclamation of Georgette Heyer, with a dash of "Fuck you and all your prejudices" on top of it. It fearlessly weaves magic into a classic Heyer plot, maintaining the essential structure while putting power into the hands of people of colour and non-Western cultures, enjoying the delights of London society while pointing out and dodging around the rot. It doesn't erase the ugliness, but imagines a Britain that is made better because its poor, its immigrants, its people of colour, and the foreign countries it interacts with have more power to make their voices heard and to enforce their wills. Another book I've loved that does the same thing is Courtney Milan's The Duke Who Didn't.

So then... Bridgerton the TV show is trying to take a book series with a very middle-of-the-road approach to diversity, differing from Heyer but not really critiquing her, and giving it a facelift to bring it up to date.

So to be honest, although it's set in the same time period as Austen, it's not in the least her literary successor. It's infinitely more "about" the past 30 years of conversation and art in the romance genre than it is about books written 200 years ago.

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential