#tphobias

[oceanlandworld]

god help me ive been possessed by some sort of spirit that wants very badly to write/draw simpsons fanwork about older lisa being fat and butch and having ocd and navigating all of these things. unsure if anything will come of this; i honestly dont really watch the simpsons anymore bc altho it was Extremely formative to me as a kid the fatphobia is genuinely kind of unwatchable for me now. big f

[brltpop]

Yesterday we went to an aunt's house (not blood related, i just call her aunt out of respect) and she told us that she has a niece who transitioned and moved to europe to start from zero and there she met a rich man, married him and now owns huge houses in different cities 🤠

[muridajo]

"is it possible to not gain five pounds while you're home for the holidays" stfu literally no one cares 💀

[ichliebemeinkissen]

that would be lovely!

everyone reply in some way to this post about something trans positive!

I'll go first, also this may seem like a thing that doesn't quite fit but that's probably because I worded it wrong. I tried.

TW: talks of transphobia, self directed transphobia, slurs etc. (this is a story about how as I continued my journey as a trans person I became more self loving, and my progress accepting myself.)

-

Even though I struggled a lot throughout my youth being genderqueer, as I enter adulthood I find myself being more accepting of myself and being around more accepting people.

.

I genuinely never could've imagined making it this far. I used to joke that being a fag cut your life expectancy. Just an undefined amount of years ago when I was a young teen I was in such a horrible place. I couldn't even say I was trans out loud to myself alone in my bedroom because to me, being trans had a weight to it. It was something I tried desprately to shove deep down inside, but never could. And the longer I tortured myself the worse that weight grew.

Anytime I came out IRL to people who should've been accepting I got shunned, mocked, etc. I felt like I was in a constant state of perail, doomed to live a short life of misery.

Whenever I did find accepting people, I couldn't even bring myself to talk to other people about it. I was in a constant state of fear and self hatred and I couldn't escape it. I couldn't escape myself. Being trans for me was like having a boulder permantly attached to my back, making every step of the way harder and harder.

Being trans was something that was associated with shame and suffering to me, and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

-

But I stayed. I stayed alive and I tried to work on myself. Little by little I changed things in my life. Without even realizing, I was working on myself and my internalized transphobia towards myself. I used to feel so alone in the trans community because nobody shared their self hatred in a genuine fashion and spoke about it and I felt like I would never be able to work on accepting myself. I was lost.

I was drowning and I was tunnel visioned at the ocean floor. I couldn't see the hands above me reaching out, because to me I was alone in a sea of doom and dispair; destined to become another statistic.

Life is still hard on me, but I started working on myself, how I view myself, and how I treat myself and without even realizing I came to be better at handling these feelings.

.

Slowly I changed into a trans person who could experience joy and love within my trans identity, not despite it. That boulder became a beautiful blossoming flower like that one pokémon.

If you would've told young me "it gets better", I would've akinned that to telling somebody with a gun to their head "just wait" right before the gunman pulls the trigger. So trust me; I understand how much a story like "I was depressed but now I'm not" can feel unhelpful and unrealistic for some people.

But, truly, I let life change me. The world is constantly changing and depsite everyones tunnel vision, it will not always change to be the worst. Yes the world is scary, but that's not the end of the story. As life changes, things you could've never thought to be possible can happen. The reason why these types of stories suck is because the truth is always unsatisfying. Change happens slowly, and it will take time to get where you want to be. But trust me, getting there was worth it.

-

I was probably one of the most self hating trans people out there, and now I am sitting here today to proudly state I feel nothing but joy in my trans identity. My friends are supportive of my identity. My boyfriend loves me for my trans identity, not despite it. I am in an accepting place, even though most people around me aren't. I have grown to have love within myself despite the world trying to make us feel awful for existing, and I have finally found support despite it all.

.

.

I don't really know how to end this because I'm not to sure if I went off the rails with this story & it doesn't fit, so, if this is actually posted:

The moral of my story is my trans joy is the fact I used to scroll trans joy tags on social media and cry wishing it could be me, thinking it would never come. But eventually it found me and every day I am thankful. Life is still a struggle but I prevail and I could not be happier.

This is why I posted about trans joy, btw. Without community I would be perma dead as a doornail. I simply wouldn't exist in this form. The trans community is supposed to be here to love and support each other, because for a lot of people, this is the only support they have for these things.

A lot of trans people are struggling and they should be able to find comfort in the community. Not whatever the fuck y'all are doing. We need trans joy now more than ever. Don't harm young &/or suffering trans people because you're addicted to fighting online. We need trans unity. We need trans joy. We cannot make it out of this without all of us. It does get better, and that's because together we strengthen one another. I love my community and all it's done for me.

can we bring back trans joy? like everything these days in the community is so bleak. and i'm not talking about the state of the world being discussed.

[vocalux]

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ internet angel

— welcome !

𐙚 little angel , smaller heart

— hello , you are on my coining blog ! it is important to know about the coiner before following him , or request something , so heres a brief introduction .

𖹭 " nice to meet you , my name is kain , ryu , miku etc . i use any pronoun besides she / her . im a transboy who became interested in transids after accidentally finding them on pinterest , bringing me to radqueer , and turning me into a coiner . i am a person who gives up and gets irritated easily , and coining makes me calmer and happier ! "

𐙚  BYF

𖹭 - i am radqueer , slothqueer , proship . i " support " any transid , paraphilia , kink , consensual relationships , stance , blankqueer and opinion term .

𖹭 - i am pro - ab 0 rtion .

𖹭 - i am anti - 4 buse .

𖹭 - i am against any type of bigotry such as f 4 tphobia , h 0 mophobia , tr 4 nsphobia , r 4 cism etc .

𖹭 - i am anti - g 3 nocide and n 4 zi .

𐙚 IDS

𖹭 - transid ; ; transspecies , transanimal , transabled , transrace , transcharacter , transage , transbody , transcat , transdog .

𖹭 - cisid ; ; cismyopia , cisastigmatism , cisvisualsnow , cishypersexual , cisbrazilian , cisfat .

𖹭 - paraphilia ; ; masochism , urophilia , tricophilia , haemotophilia .

𐙚 ACCS

𖹭 - simply plural ; ; kKAin

𖹭 - pinterets ; ; sh1g4rak1wth

𖹭 - notion ; ; Weeee

𖹭 - carrd ; ; kainnzcs

𖹭 - emojicombo ; ; emojicmmbz

𖹭 - tumblr ; ; @radiopecc

[kit-ssune]

the artist's way is imo kinda ableist. and i hate that people are actively recommending it without using even an ounce of critical thinking and understanding what they read. there are barriers for many and not everyone is equal to god,that no amount of spirituality can fix - disability and other forms of marginalization exist. there are even bits of f•tphobia and weight stigma hidden between the covers

it's not a great book

[troglobite]

more we/ight and f/tphobia thoughts, specifically abt we/ight l/ss methods

Full Opinion/conspiracy-sounding nonsense, even though that's not the aim

as always, if sensitive or not the headspace, do not read. this is me thinking out loud.

--ended up thinking out lout a lot more than i thought, so it's a long post. less angry than other posts, but still, sensitivity warning applies.

i could probably make a tl;dr post that would be less personal/rambly and make the point concisely, as well, and might do that.

i've realized that g/l/p/1/s literally just feel like the anti-f/t version of c-o/in/te-lp/ro

like they released this shit, made it easy, affordable, had insurance cover it, sold it as "healthy and safe", said it wasn't meant to be a we/ight l/ss drug, it just happens to do that, so let's sell it for that and Help Save Lives!

in reality it paralyzes the digestive system, in some cases permanently, and when you don't have DMII, it just suppresses your fucking app/etite

it's just an eating disorder in a vial

are there reasons to actually take it? as far as i can tell, yeah, sort of? i mean i inherently don't trust the way the medical field as a whole treats t.2.dm bc it's so inherently victim blaming and f/t-shaming and they seem to want to refuse to admit that it's ALSO genetic and that it's abt in/sul/in resistance as a mechanism of the body and not like "you ate too much sugar and now your body is broken" like that's just not how it fucking works. period end of sentence. it's not true. it's genetic and autoimmune.

BUT if it really works through other methods besides suppressing app/etite to help balance things in bloodwork and help ppl feel better re: t2d, then, cool.

but my point is this

it's spread SO FUCKING FAR among f/t communities bc of this successful (and completely bullshit) messaging and marketing

it's fucking evil

and what has been the ultimate result of this?

rifts in the fucking community

bc instead of being aligned in saying that the we/ight l/ss industry is evil and exploitative and inherently DOESN'T FUCKING WORK

now everyone's screaming "IT'S MY CHOICE!!! IT'S MY CHOICE TO TAKE THIS DRUG!!! FUCK YOU!!!"

cool now we're infighting instead of being a united front against these forces that would seek to kill us.

and why?

bc their drug and their marketing has managed to win over enough ppl from our cause that now they're arguing--like fucking babyass "fe/mini/sts" that REAL freedom and progress is all about PERSONAL CHOICE!!!!

it's not.

but i have to put "bodily autonomy, do whatever you want" on everything i fucking say lest someone lose their goddamn mind at me

like. this isn't abt YOU.

if YOU have hangups and insecurities abt your choice, that's YOUR problem.

and it doesn't even make you a bad person!

i might be fucking annoyed to hell w you, but that's like. me being annoyed w you.

it's not my fault for correctly and accurately calling out the structures that surround us, the messaging around it, the systemic bigotry responsible for this shit.

and like it's not denying bodily autonomy to say that, the VAST majority of ppl who make these choices re: the drugs discussed here, or the surgeries i've discussed elsewhere--are NOT making that choice themselves.

by which i mean: yes, you had the power to say no OR yes to the drug/surgery. ultimately, you were the one who signed off on it, and you decided you were okay w that happening to your body.

but you are lyyyyinnggggg to yourself and everyone else if you think doctors and commercials hawking this stuff at you 24/7 and living in a f/tphobic society had NO IMPACT ON YOU

no, you're not a child w no understanding of anything

but like. fucking christ, man. these forces influenced you.

from personal experience and interactions w ppl irl and online, you can't make the choice to do those things^^ and actually be fully healed from societal f/tphobia.

which is NOT to say its equal and exact opposite, that if you DON'T make those choices, that you ARE fully healed.

no, what it means is--someone who is fully healed is, for the most part, never going to make that choice. why? bc those choices are WILDLY detrimental to health and mental health, are extremely dangerous, shave YEARS, if not DECADES, off your life, and have irreversible consequences. (actually irreversible consequences, like permanently removing or damaging organs that are necessary to sustain your own life. believe me, i am always thinking abt autonomy re: transition & all medical care like this. and idealistically, i fully support anyone's choice to do that. but we live in a world that forces ppl to make these choices, and forces ppl to NOT make choices for transition, etc. so, difficulty, nuance, etc.)

now, lemme be so clear

there are obviously exceptions. if you're forced into it bc you need surgery and you've tried literally every option available to you (regardless of how many options that is--if you're in the US or medical treatment is inaccessible in any way, just bc there are few options doesn't disqualify the fact that you've exhausted all of them) and you are FORCED to engage in these dangerous things in order to get your surgery to improve your health otherwise

obviously there are exceptions, and that's^^ just one

but even then. are you making the choice? or were you forced into it?

i've just seen firsthand so many times how far back the proliferation of these drugs has set us. it's disgusting.

there's really nothing else i can compare it to--in terms of source and impact--than co/in/tel/pro.

is it an organized govt thing that seeks to destroy a legitimately threatening (to the bullshit status quo) social movement?

no, not real.

but in source and function and impact, it's the same.

the system we're fighting against

infiltrates our ranks

w something that turns us against each other

and we become so caught up fighting each other

that we are no longer a united front against our common fucking enemy

in other words, i would appreciate it if i could stop having to handhold through conversations abt these drugs and the surgeries bc you made that choice (not in a vacuum, pls just admit that to yourself, it'll be better for your mental health in the long run)

and instead it would be GREAT if y'all could fucking reconcile your choice w the fact that these industries do not seek to treat us as people or respect our lives, personhood, or autonomy

these industries seek to DESTROY us. they want to PUNISH us and DISAPPEAR US from public life.

there is NO. ABSOLUTELY NO. medical reason to ever undergo these procedures/drugs (sans like, temporarily escaping f/tphobia [which is only a maybe] and like, one of the couple of ways the drugs might actually treat something other than w/eight], and drs who hawk them are fucking snakeoil salesmen who permanently damage the bodies of the ppl that they're SUPPOSED to be HELPING and HEALING.

these things are, actually, new, and the studies deliberately stop following ppl after a certain point.

if i want to get caught up in the tangled web of autonomy & transition as it relates to this, then there is very little medical risk associated w transition--it's the same as if you were cis. things just switch out. treatment's have been around forever. and all the functions that are changed aren't things that shave decades off your life or impede your body's ability to sustain itself. they, perhaps, only impact the ability to create new life, and even then, ppl are working on changing that to some degree and making it possible.

BUT, for this conversation, what matters is:

what forces are at play in whether you get these treatments/surgeries or not? what direction are they pushing? what are the actual, material risks and consequences? and what are the pay offs?

for transition, the only risks are societal or the average risks for a cis person.

the benefits are incalculable bc of mental health.

and also i want to be clear

if someone wants to do that for shits and gigs, HAVE AT IT.

anyone should do anything they want whenever, etc.

and again--idealistically that would also be true abt these drugs & surgeries i'm talking abt here.

but this shit doesn't happen in a vacuum.

transition is gatekept unnecessarily. ppl are kept from it and convinced not to do it. forced to jump through ridiculous hoops to obtain it.

but THIS shit? they hand it out to fucking everyone before they'll even consider any other options for you. no matter how dangerous.

what bigots THINK drs do w transition is what's ACTUALLY happening w we/ight l/ss drugs and surgeries.

and in a world where THAT is the norm, where the messaging is so pervasive that it's in every fucking ad and commercial everywhere, when the systemic problems are literally fucking daily, and the stress of it feels inescapable--of course ppl give in and willingly undergo those things. to try and avoid and escape the barrage of f/tphobia. of course.

and feeling better abt your we/ight can remove some of the stress you felt, and that stress alleviation might improve some of your symptoms!

and you can convince yourself--and drs will use [general] you as proof--that it works! that being f/t is bad for you! that things improve when you lose wei/ght!

even if it's not true. even if, when it is true, it's not the act of being f/t or losing we/ight that influences health outcomes, but the response of the world around you.

make whatever choices you want with your body. but

stop making it other f/t ppls' problem and fault when you have insecurities abt it

reconcile your choice with your politics and morals on your own time instead of seeking absolution from fellow f/at/ties

be honest abt where you really are w f/t acceptance and healing your relationship w your body if you've made these choices. you're not wrong or broken. you haven't failed. you're in a shitty situation. but lying to yourself and others isn't going to help. and i'm just saying to be honest--i'm not telling you what that end result of honesty looks like. [don't spiral abt this if you have moral ocd--first off, this is my opinion and thinking out loud. and second, i literally don't know you. and third, by being honest, i just mean...well, what i discussed above. it's not a moral failing to still struggle w f/t acceptance and body im/age]

keep joining us in the fight against these heinous and evil industries. don't abandon your allies. i'd rather you didn't INCESSANTLY blame f/t ppl for your insecurities around your choices and all that shit, but if you want to talk abt your experiences and be honest and upfront, that could be helpful. but for the most part, sharing that shit is just not necessary.

anyway the kind of vitriol i've seen from fellow f/at/ties who've drunk the kool-aid, so to speak, has been horrendous.

it doesn't affect me the way they hope it does, bc really all it tells me is how badly they feel and how poorly they're doing. and it just makes me sad for them.

but not everyone is at that point. and the anti-f/t vitriol from folks who won't stop talking abt this shit and, like white ppl who hate hearing that they're ra/cist bc they live in and were raised in and benefit from a r/aci/st society, keep lashing out and take it personally every time they hear "the we/ight l/ss industry is evil and exploitative and needs to be destroyed"--y'all are doing damage.

the rest of us have been trying to carry on as we had been before all this shit happened. and it's hard.

for me, not bc it's somehow hard to resist these drugs. the opposite is true for me, there. the more i see this shit the more angrily anti-we/ight lo/ss industry i become.

but bc the conversation keeps being about you instead of the fucking enemy

it's set us back so fucking far.

and that's typical of individualistic usamerican bullshit, yes. it's VERY easy to foster and exploit.

but it is fucking maddening.

like every other movement, collectivism and a recognition of what power there is and where it truly lies is important. and so to get bogged down in this fucking 1st grade "fe/mini/st" bullshit of "UMMM ACTUALLY it's anti-f/t if you MAKE FUN of ppl who CHOOSE TO LO/SE WE/IGHT!!!!!!"

wasn't making fun of you

how is haranguing the we/ight l/ss industry anti-f/t, dipshit

personal choice is not the beginning nor the end of actual fucking activism and politics. wtf is wrong w you.

can we pls move past the fucking "but it's MY CHOICE if i want to shave my whole body and wear 2 hours' worth of makeup every single day and act disgusted when women choose to not do those things! and it's MY CHOICE to be a stay at home mom and a housewife and homemaker!!! THAT'S what's empowering to ME!!!!"

cool it's not abt you, you fucking dipshit

it's abt the STRUCTURES THAT ARE AROUND US and the FORCES THAT INFLUENCE THOSE KINDS OF "CHOICES"

fucking christ.

it's not abt YOU and your fucking personal journey and experience w your body

it's abt everything AROUND YOU that made those choices available, hawked them harder than every other options, and convinced you that that was a Good Choice.

you aren't oppressed for making the choice society told you to make.

cis gnc ppl aren't oppressed for not transitioning.

women aren't oppressed for choosing to be a hyperfeminine homemaker

like. pls. have some fucking awareness of how ANYTHING works in society.

we can't keep getting caught up here, going all the way back to the fundamentals, the fucking remedial bullshit, while you whine and cry abt PERSONAL CHOICE!!!!!!!

you're ruining everything for everyone.

and this is me complaining at length abt it instead of being "productive" or whatever, idk.

and i sound "mean" in some spots bc i'm mostly just tired and annoyed.

i've handheld as much as i can but there comes a time where you just have to accept what you've been doing and sounding like, and decide to change and move past it.

and as a half-white person, i've had to do that shit. i've had to sit w discomfort! and look at mistakes i've made! really stupid ones! and accept that i'm going to continue to do that! and i have to not make it anyone else's fucking problem. i can ask for help or guidance, i can seek out information, but if i walk into a room that's trying to change r/a/cist policies and waste everyone's time asking questions and demanding that they, personally, assuage all my feelings and make ME feel better abt MYSELF and being half-white

then what the fuck am i doing? i've wasted ppls' time and taken up space that wasn't mine and impeded their ability to actually do shit

that's what y'all are doing in comment sections and irl fucking EVERYWHERE.

cut it the fuck out. do your work on your own goddamn time. sit with it. really really SIT WITH IT. discomfort is normal and healthy and okay.

and yeah, i'm still learning this shit too! it's tricky!

and i HAVE ocd, i know it's easy to get caught in spirals!

but really i'm not telling anyone how they feel or how they should feel, i'm saying stop making it everyone else's problem in public forums that aren't for litigating your own personal choices

if you wanna talk to friends or therapists abt it, that's good! unpack your shit!

but f/t activist spaces online ARE NOT THE FUCKING VENUE unless you are SPECIFICALLY INVITED TO DO SO.

and lashing out at other f/t ppl bc we're annoyed w you?

you just sound like every other bigot in life. is that really what you want to aspire to be? just another thin piece of shit who can only feel good if making everyone else feel terrible?

come on.

[trans-femme-fag-dyke]

Not My Intended Audience

People:

Who make their diagnosis their entire identity, especially people who self-diagnose their entire identity and thereafter use it as an excuse/a conversation starter/conversation ender

Who simply repost about Palestine without doing anything more than that, especially people who repost unsourced things

Who then go on to make Palestine another cornerstone of their identity alongside their diagnosis, again without research, context, attempts to connect with others, debate, or engage

Who repost Palestine GoFundMe's without vetting them and thinking they're doing god's work

Who don't critically engage with their trans identity or question those cosplaying moments when we're striving for attributes that are part of the binary problem

Who go out of their way looking for transphobia as a self-sabotaging ploy at victimhood when we know tphobia is everywhere and much more dangerous than the gas station attendant's rapid, incorrect read of a body. This is a war not a battle. Let's stop falling on our swords. It's easy to find tslurs. Let's not do the phobes work for them.

[tphobias-blog]

Ailurophobia, n. the fear and/or dislike of cats or the feline species. #ailurophobia #cat #feline #species #phobia #TPhobias https://www.instagram.com/p/B3LD4VXj1ND/?igshid=1p9fy5c7wf099

[godessofbucky]

Bridgerton

A few Bridgerton spoilers but they are overshadowed really

A lot of people don't really like the fact that Penelope and Colin are gonna have the spotlight next episode and that's okay. I personally felt like they could have used a bit more chemistry but that's most likely what this next season is about.

I want to talk about how people are getting mad that some people don't really like the pairing and is calling us fatphobic for not.liking the pair when that is not the case. Don't get mad because we don't like the fact that Penelope outed Marina when she could have just told Colin secretly, how she hurt Eloise and tried to play victim, and a plethora of other things that would make it reasonable as of why we don't like the match; clearly.

So that fatphobia claim is really hanging on by a thread when you look at all the dumb shit she did and the reason why a good bit of fans don't like her.

[sanvlisaloni]

fat is not a bad word. fat is a describing word. it's like "oh, you're small! you're fat! you have brown eyes! you're wearing red lipstick!"

it's just another word. then why does it sound like an insult when she says it while i'm in my corner minding my own business and eating cake.

[ichliebemeinkissen]

My askbox & messages are *always* open to people wanting to bounce off ideas with people, get my take on things, etc.

I have had multiple people already messaging me frequently for that sorta thing so I just wanted to make an overarching statement that yes, if you value my opinion on things and think I can give another perspective then you can always send messages.

since this is pinned.. tags i use:

#chasers - for when i talk about chasers

#int tphobia - for self transphobia talks

#film class posting

[gayharoldfinch]

I just got soft banned from twitter for 12 hours for calling someone a cunt

[choptop-sawyer]

it's so funny to me that ur britphobic when i just so happened to stroll in here one day WIF ME BESS FAKE BRI-ISH OCCENT, MOAYTE !!! 😂 -FB the OG

Believe me, fake br*t, I hated them bastards long before you ever arrived. Them... Those pasty mfers. They arrived one day, from distant shores. They burned my crops, kidnapped my opossum, and laughed in my face. But worst of all, they stole the tea. The sacred lifeblood. And now they sit around, claiming THEY are the tea experts, all while worshipping a queen who just smiles, rich off of blood money and tbh should be dead rn let's be honest. What's going on, it's suspicious.

But at least the cockney accent is funny af amirite.

[starberry-cupcake]

I’m gonna be honest for 2.5 seconds and delete this post when I feel ranting to the internet void has satisfied me. 

There’s been for years, in the body positive community, this idea of fatness in “comfortable” levels. There are these archetypes of “comfortable fatness” that are seen under a mostly positive light, if they fall under certain socially constructed categories which make them more “palatable” to the mainstream. They aren’t accepted, but they’re more comfortable for this mainstream to see. 

For example, back when this conversation started gaining traction, there was this trend of fatshionistas. Those among them who were rising to fame were always cis white able bodied women with a specific brand of feminine presentation, which included retro sundresses, corsets and other alternative-rockabilly fashions. Most often than not, these same models did a lot of lingerie photoshoots, burlesque photoshoots and nudes with that sort of alternative-retro flair, with a sensual/erotic charge. 

This doesn’t mean those bodies aren’t valid, this is not to undermine anyone who’s been in this category, it means that the idea of “acceptable fatness”, or of acceptable “attractive” fatness, started to be circumscribed to ideas of presentation and exposure that not all fat bodies were willing to fit into. Circa 2011 you could be closer to being accepted, beside all the thin girls in galaxy tanks and jean shorts on tumblr, if you fit this criteria, is what I mean.

Back in the day, when Meghan Trainor released All About That Bass, there was an uproar. Tumblr mostly argued the song under the idea that it was sexist, which it is, but they never mentioned that there have been, and continue to be, sexist songs by thin singers who never had as much backlash, even contemporary to Trainor’s. 

But behind most arguments, the same thing came popping back up: the song said “skinny bitches”. 

There was this massive backlash because of that single thing, more so than of the subject of internalized sexism and the male gaze as validation, to the point that a thin girl got viral making a cover where she replaced the song with an “all bodies” message. 

Because the body positive movement, which at its start had mostly talks about fatness and about differently abled bodies, needs to accommodate thin able bodied people in order to even speak. 

[I once got an anon, by the way, pitching Trainor and Mary Lambert against each other, because I made gifsets of Mary’s songs, while Meghan and Mary had been performing together, and whether or not you like Meghan Trainor, there’s room in the music industry for more than one singer who sings about not being thin, among other stuff. Just saying.] 

Now fast forward to Lizzo. 

I got to know about Lizzo a while back and I’ve been loving her ever since. Lizzo has spoken up about her music not being fat positive specifically, it’s positive to her and she’s a fat black woman, so whoever feels empowered, great, but it’s her identity the one portrayed in her music, as it should be, especially when it’s an identity that gets underrepresented. 

And Lizzo has a song with Missy Elliott where she says “skinny hoes”, and this time around, the reaction was different. 

Instead of demanding Lizzo to speak for “all bodies”, thin people, even fatphobic people, are using Lizzo as their “comfortable fatness” level. Lizzo is empowering and positive, Lizzo is powerful and beautiful. Lizzo is talented and valid. But it’s just her. And not even her as a person, her as an idea, as an icon for what’s useful for them. 

What Lizzo says about empowerment, they appropriate as long as it’s convenient to them, but they don’t translate it to the way they treat fat people irl, or the way they perceive fatness, even less the intersectional categorization of fatness and race. 

Lizzo’s words are empowering on a vacuum to them, not in application. Lizzo is safe to watch from afar and see her as valid and pretty and worthy of admiration because she’s “brave”, and she’s brave because she dares to be fat and proud. 

I see on the daily people in my life, people on twitter, people on here, waxing poetic about Lizzo while not acknowledging their fatphobic views or questioning themselves at all. Lizzo is out there making what she needs to feel good while thin cis girls on twitter demand her to lift their spirits and make them feel beautiful too, asking her to give them confidence.  

They are comfortable with Lizzo’s fatness because they only see the result of her body positive journey so far, but they are unwilling to acknowledge that, to get there, she and bodies and like hers had to fight against views propelled by people like them. 

Lizzo learned how to be confident despite bodies like theirs being upheld and worshiped and now they’re asking Lizzo for confidence tips, without understanding that the bodies they treat like crap on the daily are the ones Lizzo’s speaking about. 

Basically what I mean is miss me with your Lizzo appreciation if you’re unable to also appreciate the bodies of those around you which Lizzo’s art speaks for. 

[troglobite]

thoughts abt f/tphobia and w/ight & shit below the cut, potentially odd sounding or weird or just totally unnecessary. if sensitive, just don't click read more. this is more me musing out loud abt something.

[words censored bc i have had truly the most un-self-aware, uneducated, hateful little dipshits popping up in my notes, and while blocking and laughing is easy, i'd like for the freaks who search these words and stalk ppl who post abt these things just to harass them? to find a better use of their time. so have fun not finding my blog while you waste your life harassing f/t ppl who don't hate themselves. lol]

the more i become steadfast in pr/-f/t thought & knowledge, the more i accept like. body ne/trality. and follow fellow f/t ppl & just really divest my life of thinking abt this shit day to day in a way that harms myself, instead of liberates me, etc.

[all fancy words for what basically amounts to me going 'fuck the w/ight l/ss industry, i hope they all die. anyway f/t ppl are fucking awesome.' lol]

the more THAT happens--

the easier it becomes to spot a f/t person who actually just. hates themselves.

not in the like......see how do i phrase this.

i think my example of this is 2 comedians.

both former or current cohosts on a podcast i used to listen to (no reason i stopped other than my attn span for the podcast ran out, so now i only occasionally listen to an episode)

--although actually. i did kind of stop listening bc. i was sick of hearing this f/tphobic bullshit from the self-hating cohost.

the FIRST cohost was f/t! wonderfully so! and he eventually transitioned and blah blah blah, and he jokes abt being f/t in his standup. he's funny! his jokes abt being f/t are funny!

and at no point am i like, cringing w discomfort or secondhand embarrassment bc......i don't think he hates his body or himself for being f/t.

he performs shirtless. he has a drag king character who's a total nasty scumbag insofar as like. just being grody and weird (v funny). and while being f/t is like part of the stereotype of the character, it's not the joke, and the joke is also not that he's "incorrectly" shameless abt his body.

now to be clear, some dipshits may THINK those things are true. but it's not inherent to the comedy. you can't stop f/tphobes from laughing at f/t ppl for being f/t. such is life.

but as a f/t person who's staunchly pro-f/t, who spends time online around other ppl like that (thin and f/t alike, btw, suck my dick lol), you can tell when the comedy is "haha i'm f/t, isn't that sad/stupid/pathetic/gross?" and when the comedy is "this silly goofy thing is amplified bc of an aspect of being f/t, just as a different silly goofy thing might've been amplified by being thin, etc."

so that's one former cohost of the show.

he talks abt being f/t and is honest abt it and doesn't hide from the negative aspects of it, but he doesn't ascribe to BEING F/T, it's ppl being shitty abt it. and then the practical everyday difficulties of it, just like w being short, etc. lol

the OTHER cohost. who's still on the show.

just. Fuckin Yikes.

she's younger, first of all. and gained her w/ight more recently.

oh i should also say the first cohost is a former elite level athlete. he's always been kinda thick, and after stopping sports to take up comedy, he gained some w/ight.

okay, anyway

younger cohost. new to being f/t. also isn't AS f-t as the other guy, interestingly enough.

but. oh my god her comedy is fucking painful to listen to. it's DRIPPING in how much she hates herself.

and like, yes, a lot of comedians do that.

but there's a point where....you're not really laughing with them, they're begging for your approval, as if making fun of themselves first and loudest and funniest will make their existence okay. and it SUCKS. so the laughter is them pieing themselves in the face, or being deliberately humiliated. you're laughing AT them, and in doing so, giving them permission [as far as they see it] to "be grotesque, bc at least ppl are amused"

as if their job as comedian is to guide us towards laughing at them as the butt of the joke, instead of their mastery over their chosen artform.

she clearly sees her we/ight as like. the lowest hanging fruit, but thinks she can elevate it to hilarious heights

she.......doesn't.

there's some interesting observational humor in there sometimes! she's an adept comedian, for sure.

but. fucking christ. it makes me sad to listen to her talk abt it.

interestingly, she sort of takes a similar approach when talking abt her mental health or her career. and sometimes it hits and sometimes it doesn't. it feels, in other words, like she hates those things abt herself less than she hates her body.

and then on the podcast, and part of the reason i stopped listening, is bc she would talk abt her batshit insane ways of trying to lose we/ight.

and would CLAIM that it's not bc being f/t is bad. and then would list all the ways she thinks being f/t is bad.

the first cohost might make a joke out of someone being f/tphobic to him, and him being like "damn, okay?"

this cohost makes the joke the f/tness.

she also has clear disdain for all other f/t ppl, too.

"walmart f/t" is a thing she jokes abt. and it's INSIDE a clever observation! which is that "pl/s size models" always look functionally perfect. they're basically thin models with the body size sliders slid up all the way.

still perfect body shape, etc.

that's a smart observation! companies are feigning inclusivity but really setting even more ridiculous standards for f/t ppl! and ppl will STILL call those models ugly and grotesque, etc.

there's something to talk abt here, for sure!

and the way she chooses to go abt it?

spending MINUTES going ON AND ON AND ON abt "walmart f/t" ppl with gross lumps and weird backs who have to ride around in scooters and wheelchairs.

that's.......not new? that's not interesting. that's not edgy or clever or insightful.

that's. lazy as fuck.

that's just hateful bullshit regurgitating the same bigotry as always.

there is something to be said abt how f/t models aren't allowed to look like the rest of the f/t ppl in the world.

but it's NOT that it's bc the rest of the f/t ppl in the world are "too gross to look at"....like jesus fuck, dude.

so yeah, point being.

the way someone talks abt we/ight and f/tness, even when they have this veneer of acceptability and progressivism, can be a dead giveaway, now, abt how they REALLY feel.

no one's perfect or amazingly enlightened has nothing left to learn. but that's not what i'm talking abt.

i'm talking abt the singular step of ridding yourself of the idea that f/tness is unworthy. you dont' have to always love your body. god knows i fucking HATE mine--not bc it's f/t, but bc it's sick and disabled. and not bc those things are inherently bad or unworthy (something i'm working on and have gotten p far on, but have trouble applying to myself sometimes) but bc i'm grieving and mourning the life i WANTED to live, and what's actually possible for me, now that i'm so sick.

so while i would never in a million years call that first cohost a pro-f/t activist who's super enlightened and smart on all the talking points, i WOULD say he'd be a great ally bc he's so blasé abt being f/t and recognizes it's not inherently bad--even if there's maybe some potential comedy in it!

but that second cohost. she makes me sad. she tries so hard to look a certain way, to lose we/ight a certain way. and she menaces and derides the f/t ppl who COULD be her greatest support and allies.

and the host of the podcast she's on is THIN. she just loves a good joke, and lets the ppl who are part of those groups do the joking and set the tone. she's not enlightened in any way at all lol and that's mostly fine, bc she's a decent listener.

however, when that FIRST cohost was on, the f/t jokes felt inclusive, felt actually funny, felt creative or realistic.

but THIS cohost? it feels much more mean spirited.

and it sucks bc i'd love to offer this feedback to this comedian--like, kindly. like "hey great work! cool observations, delivery was solid, you're super funny. this one thing kinda bothered me, though? the set up and delivery were definitely funny in formation, but the content itself feels...unoriginal? it sounds like you maybe have more to say abt xyz, and i think, personally, that might be funnier to explore and let you find your voice instead of sounding like every other comedian who's made fun of f/t ppl."

but to offer ANY feedback? she's literally said on the podcast she can't read comments, even positive ones, bc she's so afraid of critique and ppl hating her.

it's bad. like--in other words, her case of insecurity and self-hatred is bad.

not a value judgment, but how it must feel to be that way.

and i GET IT, i do. i'm not judging her for it.

but it's most blatantly obvious around her we/ight.

and i've noticed this with ppl irl just casually, too.

that's a special case, obviously, bc she does just talk abt it on the podcast and then also have standup jokes abt it. (i did eventually unfollow her, bc it just made me too sad to listen to her talk abt f/t ppl and herself like that)

but also the average everyday person.

you can tell, partly, when they set limits on acceptability. when they get stuck on the "being f/t doesn't mean you aren't healthy" part.

when they necessarily exclude themselves from discussion of we/ight and f/tness, even if they do absolutely belong. [in a welcoming way, not a judgmental way--i talk abt f/tness, i talk abt myself. i'm a "small f/t" comparatively, but that's mostly bc i'm so short lol, but i'm still a f/t person.]

anyway idk what the point of this was.

i guess to make a connection to something else, that podcast host had a really solid joke setup that i really liked--but i HATED the punchline, bc it misunderstands or misrepresents the very groups she JUST demonstrated solid understanding of.

she's gay, she jokes abt the pearl clutching, must-use-the-perfect-language, gatekeeping, ignorant, not well read or aware, mostly young mostly white demographic of queer ppl who are obsessed w censoring ppl and limiting what's allowable to say, and are afraid of all comedy and think ANY joke abt queerness or anything is Off Limits, etc.

extremely well-read roast. extremely on the nose assessment of a cultural phenomenon at this point in time, for sure.

but then she calls them f/gg/ts.

and i'm like....no. nope. you've fundamentally misunderstood. there's a disconnect happening here.

you've given bigots permission to use hateful slurs against a part of our demographic bc you find them annoying.

absolutely the fuck not.

the BETTER and FUNNIER and MORE ACCURATE punchline is to call everyone ELSE f/gg/ts.

those pearl-clutching freaks don't deserve the badge of honor that a slur is.

the fact that they would FREAK THE FUCK OUT at being called that, means you shouldn't call them that.

everyone else? all the rest of us? call us f/gg/ts. we think it's funny. we think it's great.

it defangs a slur, forms of a sense of community and history, and still creates the joke around an in-group/out-group dynamic w the ppl who would want to erase that word from existence, and think it's the same coming out of an old gay man's mouth as it is coming out of a republican's mouth.

so like--

i guess that. she jokes abt ppl making her homophobic, which CAN BE FUNNY. but despite how much she talks abt LOVING being a lesbian, there's weirdly an element of insecurity in some of those jokes that i think wouldn't be there if she didn't have a lot of hangups around this stuff in her past.

and also if her irl audience was....idk. idk the demographics, but old straight men find her funny--which isn't an indictment. she is, genuinely, funny.

it's just those little moments where i'm like. damn. you missed the mark a bit. and it's not really a craft thing, it's a personal thing. which makes it all the more uncomfortable.

anyway.

i guess that's abt it.

it's just possible to tell when someone is joking about/with themselves and others, and when they're joking at their own expense and for the approval of the elite group.