#toy's sanitized tho

[autobotmedic]

{ on that note (see previous queued post) holoform ratch being annoyed by screaming children in walmart is not directed at the child but instead the caretaker, please either soothe your child yourself or give them a comfort stimuli that you should already have discovered for them, clearly something is wrong, adolescents don’t make unhappy noises if they are fine, and he rly just cannot stand it because DISTRESS IS OCCURRING

[futch-disaster]

11. What’s your favourite sex toy that you already own?

- a.b.b. 🐰

all the friends I made along the way <3

[hagravenholm]

,,,

[hazzyking]

I made a Sephiroth x reader! It's gonna be in two parts tho cause I am BUSY this one is fluffy but the second one might be smutty just a warning

You are Angeals Lil sister and Sephiroth is interested in you ;)

When no one is Watching

Sephiroth didn't grapple with most of his thoughts. There wasn't any issue that ever really kept him up at night. Tossing and turning. And groaning ferociously at the fact that his mind is keeping him awake. But then he met you... Angeal's sister... younger sister to make matters worse. The honor hungry soldier would never let anyone like Sephiroth near his little sister... never...

"To protect her," Angeal answered softly, looking over the VR sunset.

"That's it? Just her?" Genesis scoffed at his weak minded thinking.

"She is everything I've ever lived for," Angeal answered. Crossing his arms over his chest.

"How noble..." Sephiroth trailed off. He sat at the end of the cannon, looking down at the steep drop... if they were all auctually standing there, he woulve dived down into the abyss. Knowing he can never fully be with you... and that's what keeps Sephiroth up at night.

"Well, I've had enough fun today I'm gonna turn in," Angeal muttered as he turned off the reality and took his headset off. As the virtual reality crumbled around Sephiroth he lazily took his head set off and looked over at Genesis and Angeal "gotta check in on (Y/N)" Angeal spoke as the team passed their headsets into the sanitizer.

"Head on in. I can do it," Sephiroth shrugged. "You two have been working harder than me anyway." He spoke softly.

"I don't want to be a bother-"

"No bother, we're all like family anyway. I've been meaning to see how (Y/N) is settling in," Sephiroth said with a slight smile pulling at his lips.

"Thanks," Angeal said, and the group walked their separate ways. Sephiroth made his way down the hallway. The linoleum floors and white walls were a green glow with the lights that shot up from the floor. Sephiroth missed the presence of his friends as he walked further into the barracks of the lower level SOLDIERS. His breath hitched in his throat as his foot steps stepped up to your door. His hand hovered over the door before he knocked, and then his hand met the wood. Lightly rapping on the door.

"Commin!" You yelled and gracefully opened the door."Oh! Sephiroth, I wasn't expecting -"

"I know, I came to check on you... how are you settling in?" Sephiroth spoke softly like normal... but his heart was thumping out of his chest as soon as he caught a glimpse of your eyes.

"I'm fine, come on in," you smiled, opening the door wider, letting him step in. Your room looked like a dorm room. Pretty average, bed, dresser, closet, all the normal things. The walls were barren, and the only thing that was unique were the bed sheets and stuffed animals that sat on your bed. Seph's eye was caught by one in particular.

"That Moogle-" Seph motioned towards the plush.

"I-i kept it... after you won it for me at the Midgar fair, " you spoke, blushing a dark red.

"I'm glad you appreciate it," Sephiroth simply said.

"It's more the memory than the toy," you chuckled softly and sat down on your bed. "Angeal sent you, didn't he?" You sighed softly.

"Guilty," Sephiroth shrugged.

"I knew it - he just can't let me be myself." You shook your head. "It's like every time I do anything by myself, he has to be there watching me. Like if I fail, I'll break, " you scoffed, looking down at your hands. Sephiroth's expression softened at your plight, and he rested his hand on your back, which surprised you.

"I was worried how you were settling in also -" Seph hummed, studying your expression. "Not many female soldiers, so, I was hoping you'd settle in okay," he spoke gently, brushing some strands of hair away from your face. "I offered to go cause I know how he gets," he let out a half chuckle.

"Controling? You mean he gets controling?" You replied, laughing softly.

"Yeah... controlling, " Sephiroth says as his gaze lingers on yours, you look up into his eyes, still blushing under his intense gaze "(Y/N). " Sephiroth began to say... before he shook off this intense feeling and looked down at the ground. "Glad to see you settling in." He said, standing up from the bed and walking to the door "goodnight"

[squid-ink-symphony]

f1sh and chips headcanons?

IVE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS MOMENT MY WHOLE LIFE

HARMONY:

Nonbinary and kinda indifferent on their gender. Goes by She/They. Doesn't really care if you use other pronouns for them tho.

Aromantic and a lesbian. Is still ok with labeling a relationship as dating even if she doesn't experience romantic love the same way as other people.

Autistic, and doesn't always function super well as an adult on her own. But she's doing her best.

Collects stuffed animals and small toys.

Likes cute things, but some people would label their definition of cute as weird.

Loves bright colors. Crank that saturation up!

Very blunt.

Gets along pretty well with her bandmates. They aren't SUPER close but they are friends.

Knows she is different. Doesn't care. It probably used to bother them more when they were younger, but now she has come to terms with it.

House is very messy.

People are just drawn to her, she doesn't particularly like it.

A lot of people think that because she is blunt and speaks her mind that she doesn't ever lie and take everything she says at face value. He is very capable of lying and will do so for various reasons if needed. Or sometimes just cuz spreading misinformation is funny. Will tell you the sky is bright green with no hesitation and a deadpan expression.

Depressed. Is on medication for it and handles it ok ish...

Video game addict. You can usually find her at home in her pajamas playing some new game surrounded by empty instant ramen cups.

Mostly enjoys creative or cute games like pokemon, animal crossing, or minecraft. Doesn't play them often, but she is the absolute best at fighting games. Could beat anyone blindfolded. Is good at a lot of hard games, but doesn't really like that kind of stuff.

Plays a lot of things as they come out and probably has a blog where she reviews them.

Knows every skip and speedrun strat ever.

Likes platformers, especially 2d ones.

Collects old nintendo consoles/games.

Stims a lot with any object nearby. Likes to play with her bracelets a lot. Will just pick up random things and fidget with them.

Seems to be tired a lot, has bags under her eyes. Stays up late a lot but doesn't mind the lack of energy.

Very clumsy and has poor motor controls for a lot of things. Has to take frequent breaks when playing games or music. Gets hurt a lot bumping into random objects.

Issues with her wrists have been a problem for most of her life due to her hobbies, and she is surprisingly good at taking care of them nowadays. Used to not care but then some serious injuries happened and she realized she couldn't afford to do that.

DEDF1SH:

Bigender! He/She/They probably. Would maybe be open to neos if he found the right ones.

Demiromantic, Bi, and Asexual. Both Acht and Harmony are aspec(not for any reason what no i'm not biased as an aroace person noooo-)

When first getting out of the metro he was VERY malnourished and had a hard time eating food. He has a lot of texture issues and finds most foods unbearable to put in her mouth.

Has since gained her weight back and is looking more healthy.

Is very sensitive to sunlight, and burns very easily even in normal weather with minimal exposure. This is part of the reason she spends so much time alone indoors.

Eyes are also very sensitive to light after being sanitized and living in the deep for so long. This is why he wears sunglasses everywhere.

Is also autistic like harmony. (again, as an autistic person i am in no way biased towards headcanoning characters as autistic ok?) Is sensitive to sounds and wears noise canceling headphones a lot.

Goes nonverbal if overstimulated.

Doesn't talk that much, is more the type to say as few words as possible to get their sentence across.

Likes eating cereal with no milk. It's one of their favorite snacks.

LOVES fruit. They are that meme of the person covered in mango juice.

Just like harmony, his face isn't very expressive. But while harmony always looks like she's daydreaming, Acht often looks angry. This is especially true when she has her glasses on since you can't see her eyes.

Really likes fashion. Likes very femme alternative stuff specifically.

Is already naturally tall, and wears heels everywhere. Towers over most other octolings/inklings.

There are many lasting effects from the sanitization. Including physical and mental symptoms. Acht is slowly recovering tho!

Can play piano, just doesn't. Doesn't remember where they learned to, but it makes them feel slightly sad to play it.

Has amnesia due to the sanitization. Can remember things like skills, but not where they learned them or from who. Doesn't remember much of her past. Doesn't remember much family or friends either. Can picture some blurry faces, but not names or how they knew each other.

Tartar told her about her decision to be sanitized, and she has no choice but to have taken his word for why she decided to due so as she has no memory of it.

Has a hard time adjusting to life on the surface.

Has some trauma surrounding medical equipment, and doesn't like to go to doctors.

I've always Acht having known Marina before coming to the surface, but with Side Order confirming they know each other somehow i will wait to flesh that out until we get more info.

Is confident and somewhat social(especially compared to Harmony) but needs a lot of time to recharge their batteries after being around others.

ParuF1sh:

They both like to make music, and often make silly little songs together. Acht likes to take whatever Harmony hums and turn it into short songs.

Both of them don't sleep much. Harmony doesn't like to because she prefers to spend her time on hobbies n such instead. She also has insomnia, but since she doesn't like sleeping it doesn't really bother her TOO much. Acht on the other hand has issues sleeping due to frequent nightmares. She ends up having terrifying nightmares of her time with tartar or things she can't fully remember from before she was sanitized. Harmony is always there to comfort him when he wakes up sweating and frightened.

Both of them are very picky about food and so their pantries end up being stuffed with lots of their prefered safe foods.

Acht tries to push himself to leave his apartment in splatsville from time to time to avoid being totally disconnected from the world because that's what she did when she first got to the surface and it made her very depressed. On one of those trips Acht ended up visiting Hotlantis because he was just exploring various shops. He really liked the vibes of the shop and the wide variety of items that rotated frequently had him coming back. This is where the two of them first met.

At first Harmony and Acht didn't even notice each other despite Acht becoming a regular to come buy and look at weird little items. But eventually after having to check Acht out so many times she finally started to pay attention to what Acht was buying and noticed they had similar tastes. Then one day Harmony struck up a conversation with Acht and they became friends from there.

I think they are both poly and wouldn't mind if their partner dated someone else. But neither of them have another partner right now.

While they both may struggle with a lot of things they help each other out and manage to get through life ok.

It took a bit for Acht to get back to making music after getting out of the metro.

They like to watch ghibli movies while cuddling for a lot of their dates. They will watch all of them and then just start over with the first one again. I think the movies are comfort media for them. Harmony's favorite movie is Spirited Away and Acht's favorite is Kiki's Delivery Service.

Acht chills with Harmony's fish a lot i think.

Neither of them know how to cook.

Harmony leaves her work spaces very messy, but Acht keeps hers VERY neat.

Acht and Harmony both take surprisingly long to get ready and pick out outfits, but Acht takes much longer than Harmony.

They do a lot of parallel play where they just sit in silence and do their own thing.

Acht hangs out at Hotlantis with Harmony a lot and just keeps their headphones on and chills.

Acht also runs the store when Harmony isn't there.

They both listen to a lot of video game osts and it's probably what Harmony keeps playing in the store as well.

Acht has asked why Harmony doesn't stream playing games, and Harmony just doesn't wanna. She would rather just post reviews.

They swap whos the little spoon depending on the day.

Both of them have terrible sleep schedules.

The first time Acht ever saw a splatfest she was enamored, and now she makes sure to always attend the concerts. Harmony insists on keeping the store open since people are everywhere during splatfests and love to shop. But the floats come through the same streets as the shop, so Acht makes sure to pull her away to watch them at least once. And Harmony loves seeing the music as well.

Neither of them really participate in turf wars. Acht is older than most players and finds it awkward to team up with random teenagers but isn't willing to put together an official team of players her age. But she still likes to take her trusty squiffer out to the practice range to keep her skills sharp. Harmony LOVES to watch her practice.

I was about to go into a whole thing of which team they would pick for each splatfest and why, but i think thats gonna have to be later/if anyone asks for it cuz it may be too long for this post lol

so yeah ill end it there for now. they are my beloveds and i could talk about them forever so feel free to ask questions/send in suggestions/talk about how you view them

here is a goofy doodle i did in 5 mins on my laptop for compensation for reading this far:

[stikblog]

What do you think of Off the Grid Nightmare? And what do you think stikbot needs to have a full return?

"What do you think of Off the Grid Nightmare?"

ehhhhh i have mixed feelings about it. i've talked about it in the discord a bit, and i still stand by what i said for the most part about the foreshadowing (or lack thereof cough cough) and pacing being kind of not good.

(long rant ahead!)

this point has been done to death by basically everyone in the stikbot fandom, but i'll say it again: the original off the grid was so popular because it was aimed at a much older audience. it took itself seriously for the most part, even if it was kind of corny sometimes, and the story was thought out and interesting! being created by moonshine animations also helped, i'm sure. nightmare doesn't have the same vibe because i do believe it was heavily sanitized to appeal to that sweet sweet "7 and under" demographic.

im not gonna lie the story is weaksauce. i love that the nightmare realm is being explored, but it almost feels like the new series isn't doing it justice, y'know? its as if they're trying to cram so much into just 22 minutes of animation that the entire thing loses so so much quality. and its honestly not really interesting, either. sanitation strikes again, making the dialogue and characters feel like happy meal toys compared to the og. the stakes are nonexistent because EVERYONE knows that nothing bad is ever going to happen to striker, and the new monsters don't feel like a threat. they feel like a joke! i get the vibe that the story was still on the first draft in the meeting room and the team just said "fuck it, that's what we're going with."

im personally biased against the new VA's because im an og fan 4 life, but i do think they're alright ngl. the animation is noticeably choppier, but im not going to really drag that point out. i never expected it to be as good as the og, so i don't really care, but it'd feel wrong to not at least mention. im mostly just pissed that they massacred my boys like this through the lackluster plot and writing. nightmare had the chance to be soso good and they fucked it up!!! rahh!!!!

"And what do you think stikbot needs to have a full return?"

hard to say. if i could go back in time and somehow rewrite otg:n, i would have turned it into an epilogue story set years into the future, with a new cast and plot, with a changed world that is obviously still the stikbot universe and story we all know and love. (or. y'know. ACTUALLY CREATE THE GREAT STIKBOT WAR PREQUEL YOU PROMISED US AND THEN NEVER DELIVERED ON. @/STIKBOTCENTRAL. ahem. that is a rant for another day.)

as much as i want to, obviously i can't go back and right the wrongs of the past, so what now? i think stikbot needs another series aimed at an older audience. they're obviously trying to milk OTG for all it's worth, and that grittier vibe was what made it a success. but i do think it's time we officially retire OTG. it was fun, but we need something fresh and new! with literally everything else on the stikbot central channel being baby proof tho, i don't really see that happening unless they really change up the writers room over at stikbot central headquarters. moonshine carried the entire series fr and we need someone else like him who actually knows how to write a good kids show @ zing like. right now. its dire.

sorry for such a long rant lol, as you can tell im very passionate about this. feel free to slide into my inbox again; im always excited to answer questions!

[hypnotic-kink]

Do you ever practice BDSM at a fetish place or only do things in private? If you do it in fetish place, what are they like and how would I go about finding one? Do you have to be invited?

Good question so this will be a long one. I've done both. In private would always be with someone I trust, never a casual thing. For the fetish club, I'll speak about the one I've gone to, no you do not have to be invited, but you do have to join the club, there are fees you need to pay also. You can even join online beforehand. Fetlife is a great social BDSM site to find clubs, events, make friends, going to a munch and asking the people there for recommendations or a simple google search can find the nearest clubs. Participation in anything is never forced, you can observe also. If you're an exhibitionist or voyeur welcome to nirvana ;) The fetish club (mind you it's not just BDSM, it's also swingers, hedonist, etc. or people that just want a great dance club). When you enter it has a countered area separating two sides of the bldg. You must sign in and must give your driver's license, you will not be allowed in w/o it (not just to be sure you are 21 but to keep everyone safe that goes there). The right side is a dance club. BYOB donate the bottle, then buy the drink w/mixers. I know that part drives me crazy lol No nudity on that side, lots of sexy clothes tho ;) No nudity or PDA there. A *lot* of sexy dancing there .. grins. The left side is the kink side. They will not let you into that side if you have been drinking. You also have to sign a release of course and can't say I blame them. You can also book a themed private room to stay the night if you like. Highly recommend you do! There is a bathroom/shower/changing room, because, well I sure as hell am not wearing the clothes/harnesses I wear inside the place while driving to the place LOL They also have a large dungeon where more than one couple can play, it's in full view of whomever wants to watch with seating near the walls with lots of BDSM contraptions and furniture. Be experienced if you are going to play in there. Bring your own toys, always! There is an obligatory orgy room, I like that it's super clean, and all the furniture is wipeable, so it's sanitized easily. The rooms you can stay in are all themed, some private dungeon rooms with all kinds of goodies including bondage beds, lots of role-playing rooms, they have a huge bunkbed room, like HUGE that more than 5 ppl can sleep in easily for more private poly play. If you aren't staying overnight, they have a room w/ummm sorta like larger cots, great place for aftercare, you can sleep there free but it's all open, no privacy. That's pretty much it. I love it, it's a super safe way to play, esp. since everyone has given their IDs. Monitors are about in both areas. They also host theme nights which are always fun, esp. if you get into the costumes for that theme. If ever there were a place to explore your desires and your kinks, I'd highly recommend a fetish club especially for a submissive, in my opinion, it's the safest place to play.

[morganpdf]

Ok 🖊 for Ellis (don’t think I’ve seen you chat about them much) and obligatory 🖊 for Fig bc you asked about my Fig first :3

not me immediately forgetting to answer this dsvfvds

BUT TY i don't talk about ellis much & i know part of it is because they don't have (or want) a partner so I tend to draw less of them (i'm foolish)!!! BUT in splat timeline ellis is agent 3 in an offshoot universe from the main one juice and i have (wherein flynn, rowan, and jo are 4, 3, and 8 respectively). they live with august (the agent 4 for that timeline) until she moves out to live with her gf, piper (agent 8).

the rest is under the cut bc ouhhhhghghhhgh oc chatter

BUT BASIC STUFF: in every universe, ellis uses they/them (maybe toying around w xe/xir but not sure on that yet) (honestly i think they'd be down for any pnouns that Aren't he/she) (don't even THINK about gendering them) and is aroace. they're also autistic in the "this conversation isn't interesting to me at all so I'm just going to leave" way.

in splat timeline! ellis is the youngest of the agents, despite being. the most longterm member of the splatoon. they're about a year or two younger than august (it used to be more than that but I think this works better), and they meet through the agency. ellis had been living alone in agency-based housing and was assigned august as a roommate and, hates her (lovingly). they have a very sibling relationship and ellis judges every girl august brings home (except for piper BUT to be fair. august didn't bring her home technically. and ellis knew her previously through the events of octo expansion).

SPEAKING of piper. in every timeline ellis LOVES piper. she can bake a mean pan of brownies and she's also autistic so she Gets them and its very (autism creatures shaking hands image). they just sit together quietly on their phones/laptops hashtag parallel play. when they find out august and piper are dating they're very PIPER YOU ARE MAKING A HORRIBLE MISTAKE (i am so happy for both of you) AUGUST IF YOU FUCK THIS UP I'LL KILL YOU. also when august moves out to live with piper they cry but no one sees ok. no one

NOT INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP STUFF:

ellis has to be doing something with their hands at all times. they have like 50 different fidget toys littered around the apartment, 30% of which are different color fidget cubes. they don't even like fidget cubes that much but they're all different colors/novelty gimmicks (ie baby yoda, a cat, etc) so it's ok. their favorite fidgets are rubbing smooth stuff and clicking so. clickable pens and smooth stones are their go-to fidgets

in splat timeline they use up a lot of that energy tinkering with their autobombs (they refer to them as their chickens, always in a deadpan) (with how technical they like to be when talking abt them, no one can tell if the chickens thing is a joke) (good luck figuring it out), but in every timeline they do a lot with textiles. their favorite is cross stitching but they also dabble in knitting. all the cross stitching they do is like. rude phrases made to look super live laugh love home sweet home because they think it's funny. they have a very floral "go away" hung on their walls in different scripts in like 3 places

oughhh this is just making me realize i need to draw ellis more...... they're the focus of my piece i did for hero shot zine tho so here's a sneak peak straight from that!!

AND THEN ONTO FIG..... fig (they/them) is @saltylenpai's OC technically so i'm a little rambly about them but they're dating my OC wren (he/him)!!! i have like NO recent art of either of them though so i need to. do that

but fig is super sweet, in love with the world and everything in it. in splatoon timeline, fig is a sanitized octoling in recovery and their love for all of the little things in life comes from relearning how to exist as a person. in human aus they're just. like that

fig's also like. our tallest oc. they have a huge tattoo spanning their chest and arms that's sea themed, uhhhhhhh, they love art and making art and thats how they meet wren actually!! they go to school together!!! wren is a printmaking major who dabbles in pottery and fig is like. i want to do Everything actually. so theres some overlap in classes. fig is also mega autistic (are you sensing a theme with our OCs) ESPECIALLY in the "i don't understand social cues" way and that whole flirting situation was a shitshow bc fig just dropped the "you make me feel a way [romantic but doesnt realise it]" and wren is just a fucking Mess over it bc he's so flustered and gay about it but he's not sure if *he's* reading the situation wrong . they get together thought shhh

fig's also a huge romantic and takes so many candids of wren and paints wren and like. wren is just their muse in a lot of ways its so fuckinf cute. ouhhhhhhh i just love fig a lot. i love fig theyre so cute and sweet and i love them so much i have so many feelings about fig i am not good at words about them theyre just (crying noises) and their relationship with wren is SO (louder crying noises)

here's a fun fact!! fig grew up birdwatching with their mom so when they come around to be like "hey mom this is my boyfriend wren" she's like yeah that tracks for you, always a birdwatcher!!

[yearning-gay]

hi idk if i should b encouraging this but fwiw i don’t train my ass at all i just start semi-small & work my way up size wise and ive never had any issues or mess at all ! i also don’t prep anything other than toys being clean & a towel on hand for lubey moments idk if knowing this helps at all but things can be simpler than your brain is making them 💓💓💓 also i found a sanitizing spray for afterwards which keeps things super lazy if i’m not in the mood to get up and hand wash

ty! i appreciate the insight to this bc i don't think i see it talked about very often usually? im ngl tho im still kinda hesitant to play with my ass by myself idk it just feels like A Lot to me ahajdjdk but like i said i do appreciate the ask!!

[raccoonfagdyke]

you hate capitalism and you have a right to, but maybe it's because you're too stupid to realize that without capitalism you cannot even buy food to eat, drugs, or electric cars, or even hand sanitizer & masks to use during the next scamdemic. Without capitalism you cannot buy sex toys and cameras to film your SW on...

Hell! without capitalism nobody could buy your SW!

you're so pathetically misinformed.

girl I'm not even a sw (love them tho) also this is mostly a comedy blog and I don't do discourse .

also if you're so mad idk maybe kill yourselfs about it or something just don't bother me you fucking loser

[shorkbrian]

Coming home from a long day, hybrid Shinsou has something in his mouth and will just not let you see it or have it. First you have to wrestle him down then force his mouth up to see something personal like your underwear or a toy.

Also hi hi hiii. How are you?

-👋

ajksfhas

Imagining wrestling with him, tumbling head over heels until finally you end up on top of him, panting, sitting on his hips. Fixing him with a firm glare before commanding that he "Drop it, now.".

n how could he refuse? He's kinda flustered with how pretty you look sitting on him like that, all bossy and demanding.

His mouth opens, and out tumbles the egg vibrator you had been using last night.

The vibrator you had been too tired to clean right away.

The vibrator that you'd haphazardly thrown in your bathroom sink this morning, promising yourself that you'd sanitize it as soon as you got home from work.

He'd been sucking on it like a pacifier, licking it clean of your taste.

"Shinsou!" You gasp, horrified and embarrassed, snatching the vibrator immediately and rocketing off of the hybrid. "Bad boy!"

But he doesn't understand what he did wrong? So for the rest of the night he sulks, droopy ears, droopy tail, wandering after you aimlessly, whimpering every now and then. He wants you to comfort him, make him feel better after you yelled at him for - in his mind - no reason at all.

You're too embarrassed to even look at him, upset that he went into your room and rummaged in your bathroom, that he'd taken your things. What else had he gotten into? Does he always go through your stuff when you aren't home?

Ugh it'd just be a giant mess tbh, lol poor shins tho he just wanted to taste u

[chemicalpink]

Only Good Vibes ♡ Min Yoongi

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

Genre: smut, a futile attempt at comedy, strangers to friends to lovers au.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5.9k

Summary: If Yoongi was being honest, the last thing he had expected to inherit from his father was a sex toy manufactures, even more so, the last thing he expected from being there was to fall in love. Or let someone peg him, but you know, potato potatoe

Warnings/Tags: mentions of minor character death, Yoongi is bisexual, Yoongi’s father is homophobic, kinda sub!Yoongi, pegging, chaebol!Yoongi, family exclusion, YN is somewhere on the queer spectrum, YN has no filter whatsoever, they drink but they aren’t drunk does that make sense?, Yoongi and YN are soooo awkward istg it pains me, masturbation (female and male), mutual masturbation, use of sex toys, slight edging, fingering (male and female receiving), overstimulation (female and male), squirting, slight dirty talk, kinda voyeurism (do i even write something that’s not voyeurism by now?), Yoongi’s suit gets ruined, anal plugs (male), cock ring, electrode vibrator, use of lube.

A/N: Gotta say, this one took a lot to get done BUT SHE IS HERE. Huge thanks to @birbdae for the banner, I know you did it quite a while ago and since then this fic evolved into this so- yeah I hope that you guys enjoy this one.

Yoongi walks the pristine halls once he enters the building, it smells like a mix of freshly brewed coffee and sanitizer, his shoes somewhat squeaking on the floor with each step he takes, the starched collar of the white shirt he was practically obliged to dress in has started to itch his skin from not being used to the whole put together look. It had been a few weeks since his father died, nobody really seemed phased by it, being that the man had passed away after a long battle on a hospital bed. No one had cried during the funeral, not even his mother. Truth be told, they were all instructed not to do so, something along the lines of being the most deserving family in the country or some bullshit like that. Of course the man would be missed, not for his grandeur as a human being, but more for the millions he made day by day. And that’s where Yoongi comes in. Dressed up head to toe in a way that he hadn’t done ever since his father practically threw him into the streets. As much as he disliked it and had grown out of it, he couldn’t help but compromise, eyes on the grand prize: the family fortune.

So what if his siblings and a few cousins would get something out the old man’s will too, the Min’s fortune, both in money and enterprises, was huge; after his grandfather had passed away, and his father, being the youngest child, absorbed every single part of the fortune as his siblings weren’t fitted anymore to run their part, the newest Min generation had turned to resemble a bunch of vultures waiting to feed. So as long as he got his fair share for having to put up with the man for so long, he would be okay with it.

Everybody was already sitting on the large wooden table by the time he arrived, the commissioner signaling for him to take a seat before he began the lecture. An almost three hour long preface that had Yoongi dozing off multiple times, getting a side eye from most of the other people present, before the distribution began. Min Enterprises consultant branch for Daejun, Min Enterprises technology branch for Hada… and last but not least, Min Enterprises recreative branch for Yoongi.

“HA! TAKE THAT YOU HOMOPHOBIC FUCK! I KNEW I’D GET SOMETHING!” all eyes turned to him as he stood up from his seat, some shocked at the word choice, although it was no secret he had a rough relationship with his father, most of them just snickering at him, like they knew something he didn’t.

And man did they know.

“So he just had to keep being a homophobe even as he’s buried six feet under the ground and give me the dildo factory” Yoongi sighed as he frantically paced around the room

“Eh” his friend shrugged as he munched on a small bag of pretzels “The snacks are nice”

“What the fuck am I supposed to know about dildos! I don’t have a vagina!” Yoongi’s face was redder than ever, throwing a fit on his very first day at the office he inherited just a few days ago– not before going through a lot of papers and signatures and approvals– and learning that apparently amongst the whole business emporium his family had built, there was a sex toys manufacturer. And his father had decided to be his funny homophobic self even after death, by letting his bisexual son run it.

Namjoon had laughed for a good five minutes on the phone before he decided to come over and help his best friend out of what was surely about to be an existential crisis. Leaning against the couch that was placed on what would now be his office, he added distractedly “You don’t need to have a vagina to use a dildo tho”

“Well-true” he seemed to ponder it for a while, before shaking himself from the thought “either way I wouldn’t know a thing about it”

“Remember back in college summer 2013?”

Yoongi turned to his friend, stopping dead in his tracks and squinting his infamous cat-like squint at the younger, gritting his teeth “We DON’T talk about summer 2013”

Namjoon lets out a whole body laugh at both his friend and the memory, when you make your way into his office in order to deliver some of the papers you needed him to sign “What happened in summer 2013?”

“We don’t talk about that” you couldn’t help but smile at him, grumpily making his way to his desk, rubbing his temples as he let out an exasperated groan. Not everyone really knew a thing or two about the new boss, never been the one to be acquainted with his late father’s business, or family, for that matter and it really showed, the poor guy didn’t even know where to begin with before he was savagely thrown into an already clock-work organisation. People were starting to talk as soon as he set foot inside the building, gossips going around about how he wasn’t fitted for the position and how he was the outcast of the family, yet you thought he could use a friendly face if he ultimately decided to take the job. His friend was still absentmindedly laughing before his eyes caught something on his phone screen.

“Well this has being fun, I’m gonna head out” he started getting up from the couch before the elder interrupted his wave towards you

“What am I supposed to do Namjoon?!”

“Just- give me a call once you figure out if you get an employee’s discount, okay?”

“Wha-” Yoongi was quick to throw a pen that had been lying on top of his desk at his retrieving friend, the object falling to the ground as it hit the doorframe, completely missing the other man, whose laugh could still be heard as he walked away.

He slumped against his desk chair once again, eyeing the stack of documents you had brought in for a brief moment before groaning and hanging his head low. There were a lot of rumours going around, with the Min family being as successful as they were, and although you had decided not to trust them, you couldn’t help but feel your heart ache if what people said about Min Yoongi were true. A prodigal son fallen from his father’s grace, truly one –if not the most– prepared person out of the whole family, with a lot of curriculum to back him up, everyone rooting for him to be the head of the whole Min emporium, only to be casted away in a rush of headlines, front pages of magazines and online bashing as he was seen leaving a bar that was known to be one of the few LGBTQIA+ friendly ones around and it all went downhill from there, never to be seen around his own family again except for the big events and now, here.”I could help you figure out your way around if you’d like”

He didn’t even bother to turn your way when he answered “I don’t even know where to begin”

“That’s alright, come on” you tapped his arm in an attempt to have him follow you outside. Although the methods seemed quite unorthodox for an enterprise carrying the Min’s family name, Yoongi didn’t seem the type to take offence on a lack of traditional manners, plus, the whole workplace had always been quite different from the rest of the Enterprises. “My name’s Y/N, I’m the head director of a sister brand, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me around”

“So…” he turned to face you as you two made your way out of his office “dildos?”

“Kinda- we run the LGBTQIA+ focused brand” he almost missed a step as soon as the words were processed inside his mind and you couldn’t help but smile at him

“I never knew my father had an inclusive line in his business”

“Oh he didn’t” you couldn’t help but find it cute when he made a confused gesture with his face as you both stopped at one of the doors that led to the designing part of the building “You see, we tend to do things differently around here, and there’s a lot of space to work with”

The room is, admittedly, not at all what Yoongi had expected it to be –not like he had a precise image in mind about a dildo manufacturer. But the room he was brought in was almost surgical, men and women alike are all dressed up with white laboratory coats and all, one of them approaching both of you with a smile on his face.

“Y/N! What brings you here? It’s been a while since we’ve seen you!” Yoongi can’t help but steal a glance at your smile, the heavy air that he was accustomed to feel every time he came close to one of his family’s business nowhere to be found, the whole room was breathable enough.

“Work’s keeping me busy, anyway, this is Min Yoongi, he’s taking over” for a second Yoongi felt like suffocating, you having to introduce him as if he wasn’t quite literally your boss, as if he was a new employee “I’m showing him around, see how he finds the place”

“Oh the infamous Min Yoongi” and he could feel his heart race- even in such a place, only god knows how much of his family disaster the people could hear of, the flashbacks to being outcasted and laughed at for his downfall all coming back to him “It’s nice to have you man, I’m Hoseok”

You turned his way and smiled at him, in an attempt to let him know that it was fine. There really wasn’t much to fear inside the building– except for when they had to deal with executive meetings– things were different around here. Yoongi’s gaze seemed to fixate on one of the computers where another man in a white coat was sitting, albeit still quite awkward, he approached him “Is there a program for that?”

The guy, one of your best designers ever since he joined an internship a few years back, Jungkook, turned to look at Yoongi with wide eyes and sort of shy at the stranger “Oh yeah” when Yoongi didn’t seem to break out of his fascination on watching a 3D modelling program run with a sculptured cock being designed on it he added with a small chuckle “Drawing penises by hand only gets you so far”

He watches you chat away with both men and can’t help but feel at peace, as weird as the thought of it could be. Min Yoongi, with a MBA and a Business Administration Doctorate, feels at peace in a dildo factory. But the teamwork seems like something he had never seen before, the line of production is almost text-book like. He can’t help but wonder, even if headless, things seem to run smoothly, where exactly does he fit in? “So what exactly am I supposed to do in a dildo factory?”

You laugh at his choice of words, before Hoseok steps in somewhat offended by them “We don’t just make dildos” and although it didn’t help his case, he throws one squiggly silicone penis his way, to which he has no other option but catch “We are in charge of designing, planning and manufacturing recreational tools in aid for people’s mental health, self indulgence and lifestyle” he then loses his whole offended facade as he takes a small ring between his fingers and shrugs before smiling brightly “At least that what we tell the big boss”

The younger man in a white coat speaks up from his place in front of the computer “Except he’s now the big boss”

Hoseok’s eyes grow as wide as saucers as he realises “Oh god did I fucked up?” You can’t stop yourself from smiling at his antiques, hand coming up to shut his mouth as he realises his slip in vocabulary “Oh shit” Jungkook rolls his eyes at him before returning to his work and Yoongi can’t help but feel endeared as the whole scene develops “Sorry boss”

Gratefully, you step to his side, waving a goodbye to both of them, Hoseok returning it with a smile and a bow towards him, and he realises his question still hasn’t been answered “So really, where am I supposed to fit in?”

You seem to ponder the question before responding “You could take over the white collar meetings, we all hate them” Yoongi groans at that “or” you take the silicone penis from him with a mischievous smile on your face as you shake it around on his face “you could be Jungkook’s test subject”

“I-no. Despite what you heard from Namjoon I don’t- I” your body almost doubled over in laughter at the face he pulled, an honest horror face and hey, the man is quite attractive, that much could be seen from miles away, and it had been a few too many months since the last time you got laid, technically he wasn’t even your boss, as you held the same position for a different product line.

“Eh- you could always try them on me” Yoongi’s eyes widened in surprise before they took on something darker in them, almost amused at your advances “...if you let me try my products on you”

“Deal”

“Hyung what the fuck”

Yoongi started playing with a stress ball you had given him the day before after all introductions and tours were said and done, and now of course, after texting in the groupchat at night, both Namjoon and Seokjin wanted to hear all about what Jin named– very proudly– the deal-do “What could be worse than dildos?”

“Strap ons?”

Seokjin placed a hand on Yoongi’s back and sighed, already knowing the answer yet forcing himself to ask “Did you even read the papers you signed? The product lines of your company?”

“Oh”

“So you’re not going to keep the whole Min Yoongi doesn’t bottom facade any more?” Namjoon asked, knowing that although it was quite fun to watch the whole scenario unfold, his friend was the one going through it all

“I don’t bottom, that’s a fact”

“Hello boys, having fun on company time?” you crossed the door to his office the way you did the day before, dropping on top of his desk a stack of documents, only now noticing a new face on the couch, turning to greet him as he does the same before standing up, signalling Yoongi’s other friend, Namjoon to do the same.

“Well Yoongi-ah, this has been nice and all but it looks like you’ve got work to do” although he was trying to keep a straight face, the snickering of both men could be heard as they left the room. Yoongi really has to tell them that the walls are paper thin.

“So…”

“So…”

“Was the whole deal thing a thing? or should I just pretend it never happened and get stuck on reviewing whatever papers I’m supposed to review?” A short laugh escaped your lips as you looked at him, still kinda awkward about the whole ordeal.

“Oh it is a thing” you grabbed one of the folders on top of the stack, pressing the paper against him “We like to be very particular on our quality”

His eyes travelled along his feet for a few seconds, no word spoken about it.

“Yoongi, you do know you can say no right?” it was something you should have addressed way earlier, knowing beforehand that the work ethics around branched out into almost non existent territory, and the man was fresh out of a big family outcasting, getting thrown back in it to take over the least coordinated side of the enterprise “Look, I won’t lie, there’s a lot of talk going around, but you seem like a nice man, and I find you very attractive, you came in here as the boss and I was trying to get you entertained with the whole dildo factory idea, I know it must have been tough being designated here, especially since we tend to be...a little too much to handle, so just know that you can opt out of this one, I can just get Jungkook and his girlfriend to try these ones out, as they always have”

“That’s- that’s a lot to process”

“Then take your time and let me know okay? just thought you could have a nice laugh at the whole situation”

It took Yoongi three days and a half to get back to you on the offer, three days and a half in which, although he wouldn’t admit to it, you had wormed your way into his heart, having you deliver documents each morning, bantering along with his friends before you had to go back to whatever it is that you did around the company. You had also started to smile more at Yoongi’s antiques as he slowly but surely made himself more comfortable around the company, handling small white collar tasks and getting less squeamish at every prototype Jungkook or Hoseok handed him without previous notice.

“You really invited me to dinner beforehand” Along with the responsibilities of being a head of management, came work trips, which were initially a you thing until Yoongi came along and now had to take responsibility as well, so naturally you had suggested to him–after a lot of rain checks on your deal– that this work trip would be perfect for you two to give the new toys a try.

“I’m a true gentleman, Y/N I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Min Yoongi you’re about to absolutely ravage me after this”

“Y/N” his cheeks coloured a pretty pink as he tried to stifle a giggle by taking a sip out of his wine.

Even though it was hard to tell from first glance just what type of lifestyle Yoongi was accustomed to, it certainly became very visible as he navigated effortlessly through the menu with all the french names on it, swiftly ordering for both of you and being delighted at your reactions when the hors d'oeuvre came out, a soft smile on his face the whole time. Whether it was the soft buzz of two cups of red wine over dinner or having the chance of relaxing after a particularly busy week, it made you start gravitating towards Yoongi more than usual. It really was no secret that you found him attractive–you had even told the man yourself. And although you two had somewhat friendzoned each other, the awkward glances, blushing smiles and lingering touches certainly held more than what any of you two could express after barely a month of knowing each other.

Getting Yoongi to your hotel room was the easiest part, a faint blush on the apples of his cheeks as he gazed longingly at your held hands while you dragged him along after leaving the elevator. The kiss was unexpected but certainly welcomed, the way that Yoongi– the man that you had come to know for always being adamant on trying new things– looked so out of his element yet was willing to give it a try instead of running away like many times you had seen him do at work. The kiss was brief, a bit shy and probably out of all the built up tension in the room, your heart swelling at the gesture before you leaned in and captured his lips once more.

“Well this is certainly the first time someone has dined me, wined me and courted me before fucking me into next week”

A laugh escapes his lips, nothing like before, his eyes turning something dark within them as he lowers his voice and his fingers play with the strap on your shoulder, letting it fall down before his lips latch on the base of your jaw “Well what type of assholes have you let fuck you into next week”

A breathy moan escapes your lips as his mouth travels down your jaw to your clavicule, pressing you against him where you could feel his cock hardening, your hand coming down to trace the clothed length as he sharply breathes in “You know, maybe if you end up being good with the toys I’ll let you fuck me with this instead”

He groans loudly, head hitting the wall as you grip him inside his pants “Just fucking give me the dildos already so we can get on with it”

You both move to the bed, losing your dress in the way and positioning yourself nicely as you take out the box engraved with the company’s name on it before he trails behind you, feeling his cock twitch at the image he was greeted by, legs spread open, head against the pillows as your right hand leisurely strokes your already wet folds for him to see.

Yoongi tries his best to take deep breaths as he takes a look into the box, not recognising most of its contents “You really gotta walk me through these”

He can hear you laugh the way you always did when you noticed him being awkward in the slightest at work “Look, I’ll get the part going okay?” your hand stopped stroking your folds, fingers coming up to your mouth, licking them clean before going to grab a small bullet vibrator from the box– a classic you had become well acquainted with during your time working at the company.

The small object comes to life with a practiced twist on its body, buzzing against the air a few seconds before tracing the tip all over your folds before settling it on your clit, a gasped moan escaping your lips as you blindly fetch the glass dildo inside the box, cold surface sending a thrill down your spine as you slowly begin to insert it messily from being focused on not loosening your grip on the small vibrator. Warm hands remove your own from the clear object as you feel warm breath against your exposed skin, the tip of Yoongi’s tongue circling around your right nipple, capturing it between his teeth as he brings the tip of the glass penis inside and out of your cunt playfully a few times before deciding to bottom it out, earning a moan from you. Pumping the dildo a few times, his weight is suddenly shifted from the bed, movements halting and you prop yourself onto your elbows just to throw your head back in pleasure as you feel Yoongi’s mouth on your cunt, tongue lapping up your juices before he inserted the dildo once again, lewd sounds taking over the small room as he continues to fuck you and eat you out at the same time, you feel your thighs start shaking when he stops his movements, smirking at your surprised face, gaze fixated on you as he takes out both a set of ben wa balls and a rabbit vibrator, prompting yourself to explain both of the toys when he cuts your off “Oh I do recognise these two from the lab”

He quickly turns the rabbit vibrator on, wasting no time in fucking you with it as deep as its second vibrating tip allowed him to, the design effectively sending a wave of pleasure against your already worked up clit. Yoongi positions himself comfortably on your side, still fully clothed, hand at a slightly awkward angle so that he can reach down all while having open access to nibble at your skin, having you gasping and moaning under him

“Y-Yoongi I-!’m-” he throws a wink your way as you clench around nothing, impending orgasm long gone “You fucker”

He’s about to pick up the ben wa balls placed carelessly on the bed when he discards them in favour of a small silicone gadget that catches his eye “You were very much eager to try all of these tho” turning to you, all red faced and fucked out “What is this?”

You have half a mind to answer him “It’s a finger vibrator you just place it on your fingers like a glove”

There’s a brief glint in his eyes before he lowers himself again on the floor, easily manhandling you so that he had full access to your already dripping cunt, leveled to his face, cleaning you up with his hot tongue before he experimentally inserts his fingers inside you, vibrations making you instinctevely try and close your legs, to which he only chuckles and playfully bites the inside of your thigh. He quickly starts scissoring his fingers, gentle nibbles to your clit scattered between pumps, working you towards your previously cut short orgasm at a fast speed, walls clenching around his fingers as he separates himself from your core in favour of replacing his tongue for a mechanical sucking motion that you don’t even need to look down to know that he had reached for yet another toy inside the box “Yoongi- oh God- Yoongi p-please I’m-”

You moan loudly, pretty sure that if the rooms in your vicinity were occupied, they were most likely already filing a noise complaint, as you feel your whole body spasming by the force of your orgasm, feeling wetness around yourself, out of the corner of your eye you can see Yoongi smirking at you, the upper part of his sleeves wet from working you until you squirted on him. You can’t even begin to process the situation or really come down from your high as you feel Yoongi’s fingers carefully inserting what could only be the last toy. Your cunt seems to gape before clenching yet again as he works each of the rounded toys inside you, a mix of feeling too much yet not enough, dabbing between pleasure and feeling uncomfortable from the overstimulation taking over you for as long as Yoongi took his time inserting them all “God I can’t wait to see if you’d take my cock as well as you take these balls Y/N”

You’re about to respond with something snarky when he starts to slowly pull at the string of the toy, the ben wa balls coming out one by one, stretching you deliciously, a moan escaping your lips before Yoongi proceeds to start the ritual all over again. A sensation in your lower tummy aching for your climax buildup again and you could already tell it was going to be a long night.

Falling back into a comfortable, bantering routine was easy enough, if anything, that fated sleepless night followed by small giggles from Yoongi everytime you shifted uncomfortably on your seat at the meeting the next day, served the purpose of shifting your relationship towards a more relaxed sexual tension between the two, instead of the awkward one from before, lewd jokes thrown around as well as shameless flirting around the office when you thought no one was watching.

“Look what Jungkook just came up with” you said as you barged into his office a Monday morning, Yoongi almost choked on his coffee as you threw the artifact his way

“And I seriously hope this is a you thing”

You rolled your eyes at him, a smile stretching on your face as the sweet idea of revenge took over your thoughts “It’s an us thing”

His eyes seemed to want to escape their sockets at that “You gotta take me for dinner before you even plan on using that on me”

“Tell you what, I’ll feed you afterwards”

“Deal”

The office usually went quiet and lonely at around a quarter to seven, people from all sectors filtering out after a day’s worth of work, with you being the only human left on the building afterwards, that is, until Yoongi started working there, the man tended to stay for even longer than you did, the lights inside his office filtering to the otherwise dark place. You knock three times on the wooden door before entering Yoongi’s office, finding him hunched over his desk, some document open on his desk as he stares intently at it. You make your way towards him, hands kneading his shoulders to relieve tension, a pleasured groan escaping his lips as your lips bite teasingly his earlobe.

“The ever so romantic Y/N about to fuck me in my own office”

Your hands travel down to the expanse of his chest until they reach his belt, where you struggle a bit to get it undone. “I really just couldn’t wait any longer, could you blame me?”

Yoongi is quick to capture your mouth with his in a heated yet chaste kiss. He rolls his chair out of its original position to allow you to place yourself in between his legs, hips coming up just a few inches to allow you to bring his suit pants down to his ankles, half hard cock twitching in the cool air, your hand wrapping around it and pumping it a few times, to which Yoongi groans loudly, head thrown back as you lick a strip all the way from the base to the tip.

“Oh god Y/N” he can almost feel himself twitch in pleasure as he gazes down just in time to watch you slip him insid eyour mouth, lips wrapped prettily around him as you bob your head a few times before taking him out and giving his tip a few kitten licks “Oh-Oh I swear to fucking god you’ll be the death of me”

You take more of his length in your mouth, ravishing in the way that Yoongi responds, hand coming down to rest on your head, guiding you, yet not forcefully enough as you take a small set of rings from your bag laying around as soon as you feel him tense. You expertly maneuver the toy so that it is wrapped around his cock, him looking down and shivering at the cold metal touching him, constricting his cock to stand proudly as you move to straddle him, moving around a little so that his exposed cock grazes your clothed core under your skirt “I think you should stand up for me”

Yoongi does as he is told, not a word coming out of his mouth as he braces himself against his desk, one of your hands works on his cock as the other one comes down to his asshole, surprised enough to come across a bejewelled toy nestled inside it. You experimentally tug at it, Yoongi hanging his head low with a moan before you tease him a little with it, repeating the motion “So you prepped yourself for me”

He inhales sharply at your ongoing movements, biting down on his lips to keep a much louder noise from coming out “Shut up”

“No I think it's hot" you finally take the plug out, taking a few too many seconds to place the strap on you had thrown his way earlier on before moving to squirt some lube on it as well as on Yoongi’s hole before you tease it with the tip of the dildo, a broken moan coming from Yoongi’s mouth at the feeling, although it had been years– and he really wasn’t about to admit he was looking forward to having you fuck him ever since that sleepless night at your hotel room.

Your hips meet his in a faint and comfortable rhythm, Yoongi clutches his fists tighter every time you graze his prostate, cock leaking in front of him as he feels his orgasm building at a rapid pace before you completely remove yourself from him, bending down to put his pants in place, hand fumbling with the zipper so as to have his still ringed up cock standing still through the pants, forcing him onto his chair as you smile wickedly at him, a small set of electrodes being placed along his length, thin cables leading up to a small device you held in between your fingers.

He gasps as soon as he feels the electrodes vibrating against his cock, his faded climax coming back tenfold, something between a groan and a moan coming out from the back of his throat as you refrain yourself to just continue to watch him curiously “Look at you, such a pretty baby”

Yoongi’s moans keep getting louder by the second as you increase the level on the toy, and you certainly have to thank the universe for the whole office building being completely empty as you clearly see his cock twitch a few times before he cums all over his pants, Yoongi’s breath is ragged as his cock is unable to go soft, discomfort blending into pleasure once again as you keep the toy on for good measure, until you see his eyes watering, to which you hastily make your way to him, as he almost dissolves against the chair.

“It’s- it’s fine, I’ll clean myself” his voice is raspy and kind of quiet as you make sure to clean him the best that you could after removing the toys and running to his private bathroom for some towels.

“Yoongi, I’m not about to leave you after splitting your ass open and overstimulating you into oblivion, you’re not even sitting properly”

He makes a go at inhaling sharply before coming to fix himself on the chair “No it’s okay, I’ve had worse”

“Yoongi” you chastise, fixing him a glare

“Summer 2013”

You chuckle at that–the very much recurring inside joke of his. “What even happened in summer 2013?” He barely opens his eyes just to send an irritated glare your way “Yeah Yeah, we don’t talk about summer 2013”

Carefully selected dates under the pretense of trying out whatever new gadget Jungkook and Hoseok came up with during the month soon turned into weekly meetups, meetups turned into staying the night that soon enough turned things as official as they could be– if Human Resources were the ones asking, Yoongi and you were just really great friends, end of the story. Out of all the ways that Yoongi had initially thought this scenario could play out, it certainly wasn’t this one.

“I’ll see you at home once the meeting is over then?” you say after placing a kiss on Yoongi’s adorable pouty lips, gathering your documents and thoughts for the meeting you were supposed to already be at. He nods right as your knees buckle, feeling the small device inside you pick up in speed, turning to the culprit only to find him smirking at you “Yoongi”

“Love you!” the little shit is quick to pretend like he hadn’t done a thing, eyes quickly fixated on whatever that was showing up on his screen as he watched you leave his office. Guess you’ll just have to get revenge on that one.

[atsuminthe]

aggregate

★ synopsis: humans are an aggregate of circumstances.

★ character(s): sakusa kiyoomi

★ warnings: slight manga spoilers in the end, brief mention of sakusa being in hospital

★ minty’s notes: i don’t even know what this is,,,i hope everyone enjoys it tho—and i also hope it makes sense bc my sleep deprived ass can only write at night

    sakusa hasn’t always been like this—he isn’t as bad as everyone makes him, anyway. but he hasn’t always been so “obsessed with cleanliness” as others put it.

    in fact, he was quite a normal child as he grew up.

    playing in the mud, firing water guns, enjoying the little colorful bugs that landed on him or komori with a laugh, running around with one of the bedsheets that were hanging out to dry on his shoulders, acting as a cape.

    he was a little reserved, of course, as all children are when meeting new people, and found comfort in the things he was familiar with, showing no desire to step into the unknown. the reservation towards strangers stuck with him after an unfortunate event when the new kid from the family that had just moved in his neighborhood stole his favorite toy after 10 minutes of knowing each other—while vehemently denying that they did such a thing.

    the only downside of little kiyoomi was his immune system, no matter how much his family protected him, coddled and kept him away from any sources of harm.

    many things in life are unpredictable and, just as many times, unavoidable.

    his older brother didn’t mean to catch the flu—he was aware of little kiyoomi’s condition—but it wasn’t as if he could do anything else. it happened. he even tried to limit contact with his brother, 5 at the time, but to no avail. he was clingy like a leech, always eager to be in the presence of his siblings.

    kiyoomi caught the flu as well.

    in three days, komori was bringing him flowers and a little weasel plushie to make sure that he wasn’t feeling lonely in the white hospital room.

    he got better.

    his immune system improved drastically, somehow—a feat even the doctors praised. his lungs stopped aching when he breathed, his muscles didn’t hurt anymore when he so much as sneezed and his general endurance increased.

    his hypermobility is something common in the family—his sister and his father have it too. his father used to move his “funky wrists” in weird ways to make him laugh whenever he was even the tiniest bit sad.

    puberty hit him and everyone, including himself, saw that his body adjusted to his needs—however his habits of being extra-cautious and wary about everything and anything remained.

    enter you.

    all caution was thrown out the window the moment he realized that he had fallen for you.

    truth be told, it wasn’t really a fall.

    it felt more like walking into a house and knowing he was home.

    first was the reservation. komori noticed it as soon as you entered the classroom—how his ears perked and he seemed to sit upright, opposed to his usual slouching. it was as if he saw something—something komori couldn’t, and that feeling intensified as he watched his cousin approach you during lunch with, what he supposed, the intention of befriending you.

    something sakusa kiyoomi never did. not since that guy stole his toy, he recalls.

    then he shared his sanitizer with you. it was a few weeks after you were introduced to the class and you struggled to come to terms that you had, in fact, forgot your own bottle—so sakusa was kind enough to give you a bit of his. your smile was so bright he had to look away—not because he blushed under his mask or anything, no. komori never let him live that moment down. komori told you after a few days that sharing sanitizer was his cousin’s love language. “don’t worry, he likes you even if he has a permanent scowl on his face,” he laughed—and somehow that sparked something within you, a shy giggle escaping you.

    then he gathered his courage and held your hand. it was after a few months that he decided to act on his feelings—sakusa is a meticulous person and believes in the “mind over heart” principle. he doesn’t like exposing his emotions—not because he thinks they make him weak, but because he doesn’t see the need for that. with you, though, things changed—for the first time in a long while, he laughed. genuinely. he snorted, too—a loud, obnoxious sound that stunned you, face flushing as you took in his relaxed face. he looked to beautiful, curls swishing in the light breeze and bouncing with every heave of his chest as his laughter died down.

    then he let down his walls. slowly, but surely, sakusa allowed himself to crumble before you. the pressure of upcoming exams was a little too much for him. he didn’t intend to start crying—but the amount of comfort he found in your arms as you hugged him to your chest, pressing his ear over your heart—he closed his eyes, letting all of his bottled emotions burst and flow. he didn’t feel as bad afterwards—perhaps because it was you who saw him vulnerable. “it’s alright to cry, omi,” you said—his heart skipped a beat when he heard the nickname, your hand gently smoothing his ebony curls. he confessed that day, unable to contain his adoration for you.

    then, he took off his mask and kissed you. it was after a few good weeks of dating. it’s mot like he didn’t want to kiss you earlier—he was a little reluctant because he didn’t know how you’d react. he walked you home, as he always did, giving you your usual hug before you opened your door—a soft tug to your sleeve made you turn around, head tilted slightly, and that’s when he took the opportunity to press his lips on yours. it was brief, but sweet and electrifying—both of you felt sparks when your lips touched, parting slowly to allow the tingly sensation to linger a bit more. your grin mirrored his—sakusa kiyoomi was content.

    then, he proposed. it took him a few years to compose himself enough to ask you that two word sentence—he ended up sliding the diamond ring on your finger one early morning after he had woken up for his daily jog. your face looked so relaxed, so beautiful bathed in the pale sunlight creeping through the curtains of your bedroom that he couldn’t stop himself. “marry me, my love,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck, and smiles when you hummed approvingly in your sleep. he knew you probably didn’t hear him, but his heart swelled anyway. “i’ll ask when i return. make sure the answer stays the same,” he whispered before getting up.

    the answer remained the same.

    now, he watches you as you run towards him after Japan’s loss against Argentina—and while a sad tang makes his chest constrict because, after all, they lost—you’re your usual cheery self, a smile stretching on your face as he braces for the impact.

    you jump in his arms, laughing, babbling happily about how cool he was on the court and how great his serves looked—and he can’t help but grin too, sighing softly when you decide to strangle him by wrapping your arms around his neck.

    sakusa kiyoomi is human.

    his life is a cluster of moments when he bent his strict rules—for you, for himself, for the both of you. an accumulation of memories—a clump of emotions—a bundle of love.

    he only hopes the aggregation—cluster, accumulation, clump, bundle—will grow.

taglist: @nakizumie; @lovelytarou; @risjime; @kirakirasaku; @izhyperfixates

[gumilac]

random anime headcanons w no context whatsoever

denki electrocutes himself, like he just wants to try n see how it feels

kaminari does the SHEESH pose a lot n sometimes electrocutes himself in the process

add to the sheesh pose, denki is the MASTER of lipbites, like mf does it ALL THE TIME

got hurt? denki: *lipbites*, he failed a test? *lipbites*

if you're dating yuji and he has an arm around your shoulder, sukuna would lick you fucking menace or if he's being a little bitch maybe even a bite

shinso likes bugs

megumi gets his nails done

yuji dances well, like PROFESSIONAL typa shit

jean would dance w you anywhere and anytime, like he would play music n just take you by the hand even w/o the music, you two would just sway

jean has a shit ton of those bath n body works hand sanitizers, the small ones, bc mf spreads it on his arms and neck bc he thinks its perfume n makes him smell good which it does just catch him smelling differently every time you see him

megumi plays guitar

tsukishima hates brocoli idk makes sense

gojo takes skincare routine SERIOUSLY this guys would have a routine and does it every night RELIGIOUSLY

nanami has an ig account filled w the pics of food he's taken, but you wont know its his bc the username is so random n so unlike him you wont even think its nanami (eg. @foodyeshoteltrivago)

nanami's pics are bomb tho

s1-3 eren in a highschool au would be the one bumping his shoulders at you when you guys cross paths, he does it literally to ANYONE

hinata doesnt like his food to be salty bc it reminds him of tsukishima

tsukishima can imitate a clock... change my mind

yams is the type to have a shit ton of stuff toys and pillows in his bed

shinso went thru a swiftie phase prolly still in it

panda cooks REALLY WELL gourmet shit

however, panda tends to be like gordon ramsey sometimes

connie screams in the middle of the night (no reason, he just does it, thinks its funny asf) the type that makes you piss your pants

connie is ALWAYS seen coming out of the office of shadis bc of the shit he does

i might add to this, but yea, enjoy? lmao im sorry

[keiyoomi]

don’t do it again, okay?

❝. . .ushijima or sakusa losing their child in a mall, like how are they going to find their kids and how to tell their s/o?❞ - anon

✒ i hate how my brain works sometimes. when one requests for an hc, i’ll end up writing a drabble. when one requests for a drabble, i’ll end up writing a hc. anyway, i hope you’ll like it!

✒ fun fact! sakusa’s part is actually inspired of what happened to me and my papa when i was three or four. i left the arcade on my own, my papa’s worried af, but was relieved when he sees me chatting with the mall’s security guards on the first floor/ground floor of the mall.

✒ hq!! characters and babies

u. wakatoshi ft. ushijima hana

Beads of sweat appeared on Wakatoshi’s forehead as soon as he realizes that his precious little daughter run off somewhere else while he picks up their order from the counter.

His head were turning left and right, looking for his adorable princess. he settled the tray on the table while calmly searching for his little kid.

He, then, remembered your reminder before going to the washroom. “Do not leave Hana unattended.”

Wakatoshi took long strides towards the events place near the food court where dozens of stuff toys were displayed.

He sighed in relief when he saw his little girl, poking one of the dolphin plushie in front of her. He took long strides before scooping her up.

“Hana, I told you not to leave your seat.”

Hana’s lips quivered before burying her head against his father’s shoulder. Then, she sobbed before wailing, gaining the attention of most parents around them.

Wakatoshi picks up one of the dolphin plushie before showing it to your daughter. He’s trying his best to calm her down, okay.

Yes, he ended up buying the plush toy he took before they made their way back to the foodcourt.

He was surprised to see you sitting on your table, relief was clearly seen on your face while looking at your little girl who’s playing with the dolphin’s fin.

Hana chose not to leave her father’s side so you ended up feeding Wakatoshi and your little girl.

s. kiyoomi ft. sakusa eri

You could safely say that Eri is the complete opposite of Kiyoomi. She looks more lively whenever she’s surrounded by people, prefers discovering things by making a mess.

When Eri begged him to come with her to the mall just to play some racing game in the arcade, he immediately frown.

Because (one) arcades are filled with strangers who probably don’t know how to sanitize before and after using the games and (two) because it’s filled with people.

He was surrounded by a dark aura when he bought a playing card for Eri. Then, he handed it to his four-and-a-half year old daughter. She immediately took it before skipping towards the game she wanted to play.

As much as Kiyoomi wanted to stay inside the arcade, he can’t. He simply can’t stand the thought of being touched by any strangers with their bare, germ-contaminated hands.

So, he stepped out and waited for your kid outside the arcade. He looks like one of the statues standing outside the arcade with his stiffness.

A lot of volleyball enthusiasts noticed and recognized him, but they were too afraid to approach him.

Anyway, he stood there for a good ten minutes when he finally decided to check on Eri. However, upon walking towards the spot where he left her, he didn’t see her.

The blaring sound of siren went off inside his head as he searched for his child inside the crowded place that he hates so much.

Don’t expect him to ask a stranger if they see your kid, tho. Trust me. He will look for her by himself, unless you help him, of course.

Two minutes later after looking for your child, he decided to give you a call. He was panicking while in a phone call with you.

“I can’t see, Eri. She was just there ten minutes ago. What if someone took her? Oh God. She’s probably crying right—”

“Kiyoomi, breathe.” You heard him sigh heavily from the other line. “Good. Now, step out of the arcade,” you instructed and waited for your husband to come out.

His eyes looked around until he saw you, sitting on the wooden bench near the arcades. He almost bawled when he spotted your daughter who’s bsuy wiping her hands with a wet wipes.

He immediately rushed to your daughter before wrapping his arms around her. Silently weeping.

He made a silent promise that he would purse a gaming console for racing for Eri. Just to make sure that she wouldn’t need to go to an arcade just to play, and also, to make sure that he wouldn’t lose her again.

[mgkconfessions]

I randomly remembered this cute video with him n Casie bonding in his room and on the background he had handcuffs hung on the handle of the door: motherfucker had handcuffs showing around his four year old child... I can't with him 😭 Omg that poor girl once grown up she'll get unwanted references about her father's life just watching apparently "innocent" and "cute" videos In few years she will be visiting her pops place with gloves, mask & hand sanitizer cause that shit is ultra fucking nasty

Lmao, but I don’t think that Casie would have understood what they were for ^^. As long as it were only handcuffs and not other more explicit sex toys, I don’t think that she took any harm from it. I can imagine her looking back at certain events and seeing them with different eyes, when she’s older tho.