#toy story/monsters never quite hit for me either like monsters in is good

[facultativeactivity]

Hmm, but why do they have a file then? Just because they were a human? Otherwise the file attribution theory suggests that the game generates a nubered Save File to any entity with enough DT to use it, be them humans, monsters or anything else, which works pretty nicely. Assuming that Chara didn't have the required level of Determination but still had a file muddies the waters quite the bit. It would mean that all humans are inherently born with Save Files, wheter they have enough Determination to use it or not. Monsters on the other hand born without Save Files but they can spontaneously generate one should they aquire enough DT.

While that works, and I'm not saying it can't be the case (also a Chara who lacks Determination is an amusing contrast with popular fanon) I think it's really not the only reasonable conclusion we can draw from canon.

For one, yeah, we know for sure that Saved data survives even if the file's owner loses the ability to Save and Load, but to my knowledge, we have no canon info on what's the case if the owner willingly gives up and, as Flowey puts it, lets the world move on without them.

When Frisk dies in the game we can't just sit back and watch how the rest of the timeline plays out without them before deciding to Load or not. It seams reasonable that it works similarly to other humans dying in universe too - time freezes in the moment of their death and they're given the choice to either Reload a Save or just leave. We know that Chara's Soul was conscious after their death, just like all the other human Souls are implied to keep at least some of their agency and personality after death, as we see in the Neutral Ending. We know that at least some of those humans (and presumably all of them) could Save and Load. So why don't they just do it?

Well, because they already given up. I think for a human Soul to stay behind and be able to be absorbed by a monster, the human has to give up first - that is, die, then renounce their power they have over the timeline, which presumably all six children before Frisk did at some point.

What's up with the empty Save File then? If Chara could (and probably did) save in their life then where is that data?

Let me get even more meta here.

Let's say you just got your butt kicked the seventh times by Whosua and Aaron Sans that day and you had eough. You quit the game and go and do literally anything else. A day, a week or a month later you come back, open the game, and you're still able to continue from where you left off. Time obviously didn't move in the game world.

It can't. Not as long as you have your Save data. Even if you never come back, as long as there's only a theorethical chance of you wanting to continue, that universe in that 640x480 window will wait, perfectly stay, for your return.

So, for Chara's plan to work, for Asriel to be able to absorb their Soul Chara had to make the greatest sacrfice: not just giving up their life, but all the power and control they ever had, bringing themself down from a Player toying with the word and the people within, into a mere Character within its story. And the only way to do that would be to erase their Save data.

(Which again, the other six humans had to do as well. Kind of makes sense - while being in a heart in a jar is not very exciting, it probably beats staring at the Game Over screen. Assuming they all hit an obstacle they couldn't avoid, neither bypass, they probably just grew frustrated and wanted it all to be someone else's problem.)

For why neither Chara, nor Asriel reloaded after their plans went awry, despite being access to both a perfectly good Safe File and more than enough Determination to do it, there are several possible explanations. Following the logic earlier, Chara probably couldn't do it on their own, as they already given up. Asriel might have had the ability to do it, but he had no experience with this power, and he might have been wary using it especially if Chara tried to push him to do so. But honestly, I don't think any of them really wanted to do it. At the end of the No Mercy route, Chara admits to being confused about their own resurrection, since their plan already failed. And the monsters in New Home on a Neutral Route describe Asriel as dying with a smile. Whatever went down between them while fighting for the control of their body, it was a heavy blow to their friendship, and after seeing how disastrously their schemes ended, I don't think they wanted to keep existing trapped in a shared body.

Chara did not have the SAVE power when they were alive

In Undertale, all humans have high amounts of determination compared to monsters.

Considering that Frisk has it, and that it is hinted on multiple occasions that some if not all of the fallen humans also once had that power, one would assume that the answer to the question of wether Chara once had the power to most likely be yes.

But… Looking at it with more attention, its far from being so simple.

For instance, Flowey has been heavily projecting his views and actions on Chara’s past ones. Had Chara been SAVING and LOADING in life, it would seem really very unlikely that Flowey would have never reflected on things Chara did in the past and concluded that they must have been like him too on that regard. He did this regarding many things which Chara did not even really do, would he really have missed something he knows the signs of so well and would have been so glad to pin on Chara if it had it actually been true ?

Well, there are actually a number of things that suggest that Chara did not actually SAVE/LOAD at all during life.

(Note : A lot of the following evidence for this comes from file attribution theory. I would suggest reading that post first in order to understand what’s said in this one better)

Keep reading

[thetexasjerusalemcrossroads]

because i want to cause drama this is pixar's imperial phase

like it or not these are their best movies with the exception of ratatouille. incredibles is a little bit morally repugnant but a fun time. cars is goated. ratatouille is goated. finding nemo sucks

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Why I'm Looking Forward to ELEMENTAL...

This has been on my mind lately, as ELEMENTAL is inching closer to release.

I've been reading it everywhere... Something to the tune of: Pixar has lost its touch, its soul, they've been going downhill, etc. etc.

I get intense deja vu whenever I read a sentence like that...

Because around this very same time, a DECADE ago, in the year 2013... Pixar was also going downhill, they sold out, they lost their touch, their soul, Disney was poisoning them now that they owned them, blah blah blah-

And this was back when they had only released two movies in a row that didn't live up to the imaginary thing that is called "Pixar standards": Those very movies were CARS 2 and BRAVE. A prequel to MONSTERS, INC. was just a month away at this same time in 2013, which ended up getting a similar reception from these skeptics... We knew a FINDING NEMO sequel was in the works, in addition to a few originals. They didn't have high hopes for the studio's future.

When INSIDE OUT came out in summer 2015, after a whole calendar year without a Pixar movie, it was declared a comeback. But later that year, during the holiday season, THE GOOD DINOSAUR came out, and it was all "Pixar is dead!" again. People were freakin' hyperbolic, I tell 'ya... Strangely, I do remember that nonsense somewhat dying down once FINDING DORY came out, the following summer in 2016. As if they either accepted that their favorite studio was no longer going to make movies that they wanted to see, or they found something else to latch onto... and subsequent complain about that thing, too. Maybe the return of STAR WARS was enough of a distraction for these nerds? That's the king of complainer-heavy franchises right there!

So, I'm old enough to remember when Pixar was going downhill. It seemed like they've been going downhill, huh? Ten years of going downhill? Where does the hill end? Is it a very steep hill... Is it a cliff? Are they tumbling down Mount Everest or something?

But what's particularly alarming to me is this... There's a good-sized gaggle of people who genuinely want... John freakin' Lasseter to come back to Pixar and be their leader again!

Yet back in 2013, according to people who were insisting that Pixar was done for, it was *Lasseter* that was the problem.

That he was ruining Pixar with his dictatorial way of running things, his aggressive franchising of CARS, firing directors off of their movies, and mandating every director there except his favorites (Pete Docter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich, Brad Bird) to make the movies the way HE wanted them to be made. That he was their worst director, as CARS and CARS 2 "proved" that... Though apparently the guy never directed TOY STORY 1 & 2, and A BUG'S LIFE. (Oh, but that one sucked, too. Apparently. Also, Lasseter pretty much stole CARS wholesale from Jorgen Klubien. To me, Klubien and the late Joe Ranft are very much the directors of that film.)

Now a lot of this is true, Lasseter was a micromanager indeed. He removed a lot of up-and-coming directors at Pixar that didn't meet his "criteria", and this was true even before The Walt Disney Company bought Pixar and made him supreme leader. He screwed over Jorgen Klubien and essentially erased him from the creation of CARS, a movie he pitched and blueprinted and mapped out. Jan Pinkava was booted off of RATATOUILLE, but did receive co-director credit in the end. He also wasn't quite thrilled about then-outsider Brad Bird coming into Pixar with a superhero action picture, but Steve Jobs had Brad Bird's back and eventually, Lasseter was all-in on Bird. Then once he took over? Brad Lewis, Brenda Chapman, even veteran Bob Peterson, all fired from their movies. An unnamed director got booted off of MONSTERS UNIVERSITY as well, Gary Rydstrom got taken off of NEWT, and the studio ended up canning that film anyways.

Nothing was done about this, as Pixar scored box office hit after box office hit, and sometimes Oscars to go with that... Nothing was done, until Lasseter was rightfully outed for sexual harassment during the Me Too movement in late 2017. With that, Pete Docter assumed his Chief Creative Officer role in mid-2018. Ever since Pete took over, not a single movie made at Pixar since then lost its director, and to me... All the newer films feel quite unique to one another, and feel like the visions of their respective directors. They have gotten one Oscar since then, for SOUL in 2020, LUCA and TURNING RED were nominated in their respective years. Only LIGHTYEAR lost money at the box office, had a hard time appealing to audiences, and got a slightly more mixed reception from critics. Everything else is a COVID case... Not that box office and Oscars mean anything, but under Lasseter they seemed to easily rack those things up regularly. With one or two major exceptions here and there. Just an observation, that's all.

So now... They want him back? Am I reading that right? But they all insisted that he had to go, and that the 2010s Pixar was all bad original movies (save for INSIDE OUT and COCO) and "unnecessary" sequels. Keep in mind, these same people *demanded* an INCREDIBLES sequel from Pixar... And the Venn Diagram of folks who disliked INCREDIBLES 2 that never shut up about how "bad" it was and those who demanded that the sequel be made in the first place is probably a circle.

These same complainers clamor for the Pixar of yore, the studio during its so-called halcyon days... And yet they're dismissive of the new movies they make that are trying new things (the old Pixar of 2003-ish would've never greenlit LUCA or TURNING RED)... And the movie that's going back to the classic "what-if" premises that directors Lasseter/Docter/Stanton/Unkrich indulged in? Oh, it's "generic Pixar", "it looks like a parody of Pixar", "it's as if an AI generated a Pixar movie"...

What do they want, then?

If they make a movie that's just like TOY STORY or FINDING NEMO or RATATOUILLE or UP, it'd be written off as "trying to replicate the past". If they do something new and fresh, it's "mid" or whatever, "go back to what you did best."

This studio has released 26 films, and in a month, 27. Not all of them are going to appeal to you anyways. They have yet to make a movie that I myself personally dislike, but that's just me.

I sometimes think that Pixar's earliest films hit these particular folks hard because they were made during a time when American feature animation was in a weird state. That initial "Renaissance" period wore off, Disney was having trouble, other studios were releasing 2D films that flopped and got bad critical scores, and it seemed like Pixar (and some early DreamWorks) hit that sweet spot. Nowadays, everyone's making big animated movies, and there's innovation happening elsewhere as well. New Pixar movies share the space with films like INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE, PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH, THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES, Guillermo del Toro's PINOCCHIO, etc. etc. We also have a wider Internet than ever before, streaming, whole libraries at your fingertips... Maybe back in 2003, you had so-so internet connection and a PC with a boxy monitor, and it seemed like Pixar was the only game in town.

But also, early Pixar was smaller, much more tight-knit you could argue. Ostensibly, it was a bunch of nerds riding around on scooters and wearing Hawaiian shirts, like the place was a blast to be at, each new movie of theirs a test for them, it was them going big or going home. Every new movie of theirs seemed like a pending flop... that defied all expectations, each movie worked on critics and audiences. Their contract back then sucked, and they weren't allowed to make sequels to their movies, TOY STORY 2 was strongarmed into being a Pixar-made sequel and not the direct-to-video B-team picture it was originally meant to be. There's definitely a particular feeling, an early-era excitement to the stretch of films made from 1995 to around 2004, and after the Disney buyout, Pixar's atmosphere is no longer the chimp and the wacky guys on scooters. In reality, Pixar was always cutthroat. Lasseter was always egotistical (again, just ask Jorgen Klubien), it was a studio and a business just like everything else. There also exist people who are not in love with that studio, and maybe only enjoy a handful of the movies they made during their so-called heyday.

I've long loved Pixar films. MONSTERS, INC. was the movie that made me a fan of theirs, though I had seen their first three films made before that. I've seen all of their movies in theaters except the three movies that went straight to Disney+ during the pandemic. That being said, I am able to differentiate a studio from its filmmakers. Early Pixar is largely the work of Lasseter, Docter, Stanton, and Unkrich. Or what I like to call "Team TOY STORY". Lasseter directed TOY STORY, everyone else listed were a major part of that movie, and were a major part of TOY STORY 2 as well. Unkrich co-directed TOY STORY 2, MONSTERS, INC. and FINDING NEMO. Andrew Stanton co-directed A BUG'S LIFE and then was main director on FINDING NEMO - which he conceived, Pete Docter conceived and directed MONSTERS, INC. They're all John's guys, his buddies, his magic circle, or as Jorgen Klubien put it in an interview with the Skull Rock Podcast: His knights of the round table, "The Beatles of Pixar"... Then there was Brad Bird. Again, a relative outsider, didn't get the warmest welcome, but became a solid part of Lasseter's circle because he had backup, and his movie ended up being a big hit. Team TOY STORY and Brad Bird were "early Pixar": A bunch of liked-minded guys out of Cal-Arts in their 30s and 40s with a lot of creative freedom making the animated movies they wanted to see, and using cutting-edge and always-evolving technology to make them.

But those days were over after Lasseter took complete control and solidified his Brain Trust. Who knows how a movie like BRAVE would've been received in 2012 had he not fired Brenda Chapman from it, the very movie she conceived based on her motherhood. Better? Worse? Same goes for Bob Peterson, what would his GOOD DINOSAUR have been? It was always *very* telling to me that the post-2010 Pixar movies everyone seemed to agree on being pretty good were the movies directed by Pete Docter (INSIDE OUT, SOUL) and Lee Unkrich (COCO)... and that everything else was subpar. But... They'd either say those movies stunk because Lasseter controlled them too much, or they were just bad because they weren't made by their favorite directors.

And that was even more evident to me after Lasseter was sent packing. ONWARD, Dan Scanlon's first original Pixar movie after directing MONSTERS UNIVERSITY, was "good but not Pixar good" at best, and the same non-criticism was thrown at Enrico Casarosa's LUCA as well. There is no such thing as "Pixar good", you actually mean "I don't like it as much as the movies made by Team TOY STORY." You like those select few directors, then, not the studio itself. And that's fine! The studio is merely the building where these movies are made, it's not the author of the movies... That'd be like calling ABBEY ROAD your favorite Abbey Road Studios album, not your favorite Beatles album.

Also worth noting: Brad Bird had directed THE IRON GIANT before coming to Pixar, and he's directing RAY GUNN for Skydance Animation - with Lasseter as his boss again, may I add. He's the only person in the original Pixar director lineup of filmmakers to have directed an all-animated feature somewhere else. Pete Docter's only animated movies are Pixar films, ditto John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, and Lee Unkrich's.

Lasseter's no longer at Pixar, Pete Docter likely is done with directing after SOUL, Andrew Stanton hasn't directed there since 2016 and likely won't be back for a long while because he's trying to do more live-action stuff, Lee Unkrich straight up retired, and Brad Bird - again - is off at Skydance.

I don't really subscribe to the whole collective thing. The original appeal of Pixar, to me, was it being a place where directors could come in, pitch a wild idea, and make that wild idea a movie that Disney or the other studios at the time wouldn't have made. Problem was, it looked that way on paper. In reality, it was Lasseter's show. It's not anymore, and Docter is not like Lasseter, he wants the people at Pixar to tell their stories... THEIR way. That's very exciting to me, and I feel it has shown in a lot of their most recent films.

This is why I'm interested in seeing ELEMENTAL, I'm game to see what director Peter Sohn has in store. He previously directed THE GOOD DINOSAUR, which he took over from Bob Peterson of course, but this is his movie from the ground up. He has said that it is based on his experiences as a son of Korean immigrant parents in New York, his coming of age in the 1980s, but told using people made of the four elements living in a city based around said elements. I'm there for the personal story more so than the premise, but from what I've seen of the movie itself, it's fascinating seeing characters where every part of them moves. Flowing water, ever-burning fire, etc. They're very very animated. This must've been a lot of work!

Anyways, ELEMENTAL... When do the tickets go on sale? I'm looking forward to it, I hope I enjoy it!

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Control feat Floch Forster

"Well since some writers claim that Floch would be rough in bed then how about smut Floch with a fem soft s/o, she’s not exactly a tease person, she’s just incredibly shy, needy and sensitive who gets embarrassed easily. I’m really curious if Floch would be rough or gentle with her if his s/o is soft and shy but when she’s naked, she gets embarrassed and cover herself"

Author note : Gotta admit I’m a little bit curious too, I mean the big boi got a huge switch energy. Like I can’t totally picture him being a 100%DOM or a 100%SUB maybe it’s just me but I feel like he is a switch a big one. I wrote a headcanon + a tiny scenario.

As usual I apologize for taking so long I hope you’ll enjoy it ♡

Also I don’t know what to do with my life anymore lol was it nasty enough ? Was it good ? I need to write more caliente headcanon I’m still insecure about it lol

Warning : NSFW / SMUT / Mention of spoil from season 4

SMUT : mention of spanking, mention of spitting, mention of rough sex, a little bit of hair pulling nothing bad

Masterlist

Sex with Floch is difficult, there’s nothing wrong with neither of you.

Since his return with Shinganshima, he kinda lost a part of him. He was never the tender one but this event surely broke what was left of his kindness.

It doesn’t mean he would act violently toward you, but he became easily frustrated and not in the good way. Meaning sometimes he will get angry easily, he tends to be violent each time someone doesn’t agree with him. He became a monster but he hasn't known that yet.

Now, he was really in love with you and knowing your personality he couldn’t really be too rough on you.

A part of him really enjoy being rough on you, knowing he was corruption you a little bit more each time he was thrusting into you. It fascinated him the way you would bend at each of his command, opening your mouth when it told you so, screaming begging when he gave you an order. Instead of being rough for the thrill of it, he was rough on you because he loves seeing you getting all red from pleasure not being able to talk because he was fucking you dumb.

Since back in Shinganshima he couldn’t control anything, he would be in control now especially in his sex life and since you were just co compliant with him. He couldn’t just leave this opportunity.

The fact that you were so shy around him even though you’ve been naked in front of him a lot of times never felt to tease him to be a little more rougher on you. Your personality just triggers his « dark instinct »

Now, we must not forget that in the beginning Floch was and would remain a switch, which mean sometimes he needs to feel you taking care of him. To put it simple Shinganshima broke him, and since no one tries to bring him back, he works on his own to not just fall apart.

Some times he needs comfort, some times he needs to be in control. Especially for sex, during a period, when he felt especially « weak » or at least fragile, he would put extra roughness on you meaning he’ll tend to bend you over a desk or anything for that matter as long as he can bend you over, moving your ass up spreading your legs widely so he could get a nice view of your ass and leg.

He might even went as far as to took a bunch of your hair and pull it so you would scream at the pain, and while your mouth would be widely open he won’t hesitate and spit into your mouth.

He also tends to put extra slapping at your ass just because he feels like it

You’re lucky that he is hitting all the good spot, cause the man is too lost on his own pleasure to even notice that well he is particularly rough. But don’t worry, you two got safe word just in case he is too lost on his feeling.

Or, when he feels cocky or just because he is tired from his works. Floch would just lay down on his bed, hands behind his head as you’re looking at him expecting to be taken by him. Then he will just narrow one of his brown eye and say « what ? You’re expecting me to take care of you ? Naah it’s not how it’s work (scuse me sir aren’t you the one who broke me last night ???) you want me y/n then take that cock cause I won’t put a single finger for you ».

But when he feels lonely or sad, or just because you feel like you needed to put him at his place. Spank him, edge him, overstimulate him, make him beg for release and that fucker would even cum harder than usual (little bastard). There’s one thing he might be against, it’s pegging, like a finger or a two why not but a whole toy in his butt ? You’ll need to be a little more convincing for this one (read : fuck him dumbs until he can’t even remember his name and he won’t even whine)

But to do that you’ll need to be extra confident with that, cause even though he is a switch don’t forget that he is most and foremost a jerk, so basically he won’t let you have his way with you easily especially if you tend to be super shy.

If you think that fucker won’t tease the hell out of you for being cocky ? You don’t know Floch.

« Well well what do we have here ??? And here I thought you were innocent Y/N »

« S-Shut up Floch »

« Make me. »

Damn brat *cough cough*

Anyway, if during foreplay or even in the « it » of the moment you felt insecure or sad, use your safe word, Floch isn’t really good at reading people and he might think you were acting extra shy as usual while in fact you were feeling bad over something. Then proceed to explain to him what’s wrong.

He is the stupid worshipper. Always like « Huh ? You think you’re ugly ? Are you stupid ? Of course you’re hot look at you ? I thought you were smarter than y/n » damn buddy it hurts coming from you. Also the dirty worshipper.

« Such a nasty hole you are y/n look at it all clutching around nothing waiting for me to fill it entirely. Fuck you’re wonderful y/n »

« Mamama look at those legs they were made to be wrapped around my hips »

« Damn it y/n you sure know how to suck a cock »

« Look at you taking my cock so well, I swear your swallow me without a blink of an eye what a good slut you are y/n »

Yeah that’s his praise

I’m sorry

He’s doing his best

So yeah he might be a switch if you’re too shy to dom him, well all he has to do his to take the leas right ?

Now if we’re focusing about your first time not just with him, like if you’re a virgin that would be another story.

A part of him want to be extra rough on you like he will corrupt you, you know ? Not really a kink of him but the thought of it got his dick hard as rock so safe to say that he is not against the idea of fucking you dumb.

But as the thought was starting to drive him crazy he realized that for a first time, knowing your personality being quite shy and embarrassed easily he might not be the best idea to just jump into you. Maybe taking your time together would be for the best, so both of you would learn about each other’s body, sweet spot, what to do or not do.

He won’t be too vanilla because that’s not how he is especially now that he joined the yeagarist, in fact his return from Shinganshima changed him into a cold man, mentally instable but somehow strong when it came to follow his belief, but still as I stated before he always needed control but also need a way to get out of his nightmare. So being rough with you in bed sound like a perfect way to escape his reality, of course it’s not healthier way but it’s work so he won’t complain.

Now that being said, even if it won’t be your first time together I can’t see him forcing you into things that make you uncomfortable. He is a dick, but he cares about you. He might try to convince you to at least give it a shot, especially if he felt that the reason that you’re refusing it’s just you being shy (even if he told in his own way that there no need to be shy round him). But he felt that something scares you, he won’t force you and won’t even bring it again.

I don’t feel like he is into gun play/ arm play for that matter, not into blood play either. He is surrounded by blood and weapons all the time, sex with you is supposed to be a safe place where he can escape his old demons so no gun for the baby.

In conclusion, the fact that you are shy angel won’t stop him for being you so it’s up to you to tell him what’s good for you or not.

I know for a shy person it’s difficult to talk about the sensitive subject but remember that communication is a key, he might be a dick and sometimes you’d feel like you can’t talk to him like he is an ass (he is but hey you love him) like he didn’t care about your opinion but that’s not true, you are important and probably the only thing that matter to him (aside from saving paradise but you includes so) so don’t be afraid.

Tiny scenario because it took me forever to post it as a compensation :

« Fuck yeah you feel amazing y/n »

For some reason today Floch was particularly generous with you, not that usually he is not. But today he felt like spoiling you. At first it started with multiple hot make-out session everytime you two were alone. Pushing you against the near wall or holding you against his firm chest, it’s like his lips couldn’t leave yours for like one minute. One of his hand was behind your neck keeping your head firmly against him as the other left for your ass to grab it. Your body was caught between his body and the wall, so all you could do was putting your arm around his neck and just enjoy his warmth as he was greedily kissing you. After all, you hadn’t got the chance to see your boyfriend for a while, to be exact after your mission in Mahr and the capture of Eren you barely caught a moment together to share a kiss. He claimed that there was nothing against you and that he was just very busy since the situation between Mahr and Paradis was still tight.

So, his little greediness was welcomed, you couldn’t help but starting to feel touch starved. You were missing him to the point that you started to wear some of his coat just to be able to catch some of his warmth. Of course you didn’t say anything about it, knowing your boyfriend you wouldn’t see the end of it. After kissing you for like the tenth time, Floch finally moved a little to be able to see you from your entirety. Lips swollen slightly open as you were taking your breath since he barley left you time to take a breath, hair a little messy for the way he was grabbing it firmly, cheeks all pink (probably because you were both embarrassed and turned on by his action). It was definitely a view that was worth it. Since his return from Mahr, Floch hasn't had time much to his dismay to mange some quality time with you, hell he couldn’t even remember the last you two has gone on a date together. Knowing the situation, and what was about to happen with the yeagarist he won’t be able to take you on a date before a long time. So he felt like he needed to take every occasion to have his way with you, kissing you, stroking your body, feeling you against him cause who knows when he’ll be able to have you close to him again ? He was starting to feel angry and eager;

Alongside, let’s be honest the yeagarist didn’t do anything to help him. All the time, he could hear them whining about some soldier who apparently wasn’t on their side, or about the fact that yeah some of them have spent a couple of days in jail. They were starting to get on his nerve, most of them were just spoiled brat who never went into hell and here they have the guts to complain about their condition ? What a shame. He started to feel his shoulder getting heavy. His muscles too were sore, his patience was slowly disappearing worst, he started to have nightmares again. It all started because he wasn’t with you, because he barely spent time with you. He needed you. He needed you right now.

« Floch a-are you okay ? Y-You keep staring at me »

« Do I ? Sorry you just looked amazing all fucked up because of him »

« I-I’m not fucked up »

« Yet. »

A race and a couple of clothes on the floor later, here you were bending over his bed. Face down with a hand firmly against your neck, ass up all good for Floch as he was grinding against you as if it would be the last time that you two would have sex. You were used to Floch being rough against you and to be honest you didn’t mind it since he was hitting all the good spot, and the way he is grunting each time you were clutching against him was music to his hear. Also the dirty talk didn’t help. But today was different, for some reason the foreplay lasts longer than usual, you noticed that Floch took extra time kissing each inch of your body, stroking everything that he might forget. He also ate you out longer than usual putting extra time to make you cum multiple time before he could even put the head of his dick in you. You didn’t mind though, it was good to be spoiled by Floch without even begging for it.

« I could spend my life between your leg y/n but now it’s time for the real fun, come on I want you on four for me. Spread those gorgeous legs of yours for me cause I can’t spend any minute without being in you »

As he was thrusting into you senseless, you felt that he was slowing down but still keeping a firm rhythm against you. Then you felt your body moving, so you could be face to him, he moved his own body too bringing your ankle around his head as your legs were now on his shoulder. The light coming from the windows highlight his toned chest and his arm muscles, his hair were a mess from all the time he put them in place. Even after getting intimate with him multiple times, getting naked in front of him was still something that embarrassed you. He knew that. So it was no surprise for you that you hear him chuckled at your state before slowing down putting your knee at your chest, so he could kiss you again for like the hundred time.

« You felt like heaven babe I’m not kidding I can die now it would be perfect. So tight and warm for me »

And then as if nothing happened, he roughly starts to thrust into you. Floch’s head was now in the crook of your neck as he was breathing heavily, your hand were now on his hair grabbing it each time he was hiding your sweet spot. His movement were kinda slow though as he was taking time to thrust deeply into you reaching whenever spot he was looking for, you swore you could feel his head on your stomach or maybe it was just you losing your mind. It didn’t help that you suddenly felt his hand between your leg touching you, stroking you, teasing you so you would approach your climax quicker than him. No doubt that Floch planned to either edge you or overstimulate you, knowing how he spoils you before, he might overstimulate you until you would be nothing but a mess.

How long would you last before loosing your mind ? That’s what Floch was about to know.

[simpmeon]

Red: Sunlight

Pairing: Any Demon Brother x Gender Neutral MC, Diavolo x Gender Neutral MC

Genre: Angst/ Smut

Word Count: 4k

Rating: R

Warnings: Cursing//  // Blood // Violence 

A/N: SO SORRY ABOUT THE LONG AWAITED SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER OF THIS SERIES! I APPRECIATE ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!! I was having a lot of mental health issues and between working two jobs and falling out of Obey Me for a hot minute, I just never found the time or motivation to continue the story. BUT!!!! I FINALLY DID!!! (I kinda speeded through writing it so it may not be the best in actual writing but plot? A+) ENJOY!!!!

You loved him. Since the minute your feet hit the smooth stones of the RAD Student Council Room, you were lovestruck. He was the ray of sun that shone brightly against the never-ending night of Devildom.

Maybe dying was the best thing to ever happen to you. Because without the darkness, you would have never found your sunlight.

The Fall // Rebirth // Betrayal // Companions // Revenge // Sunlight

Dying is something that should not be familiar. You should not be familiar with the sensation of your soul slipping through the living world’s veil and the now cold darkness of death. Can you die twice? Where will you even go? You felt like you were swimming in syrup, darkness covering your senses. You could see your wings lifted high above either side of your head, your arms swaying lazily through the darkness. You could hear your name being said over and over, but you could never make out who or why it was being said. Your body was cold. Everything waes cold. Through your stupor you can see the familiar white glow of life casting a soft shine on your face. You can see the light start to fade slowly into the darkness of the void around you, almost as slowly as you descended further and further into the substance that enveloped you. You closed your eyes, trying to except the fact that this is the best option for everyone. Maybe your death should be a permanent fixture.

After all you disgraced the great prince, and will probably disgrace the great king. You’re a monster. Nothing more and nothing less. 

Monster...

The word felt like a whisper. You do not even know if your mind said it or not. 

N...not..... 

You could see light hitting your eyelids, turning your vision red. Sweet death has you wrapped around their hand once more. 

Not a monster.... 

The voice was clearer than before, as if the person who was speaking to you was closer to you. You slowly opened your eyes, and saw the bright white light illuminating your feathers. You could barely make out the shape of a face in the light, but there was one there. 

Y/N please....you’re not a monster....you were never a monster. 

You suddenly got s shot of adrenaline as the face became clearer and you could see his face. Diavolo’s face, laced with concern, tears falling down his cheeks. You knew he was never an angel, but surrounded by the halo of light, he looked like one. He was in his demon form, the horns twisting in the shadow of the light. You could feel the warmth of his hands on your cold body, a hand cradling your head, another wrapped around your lower back between your lower wings. 

You struggled against the sticky substance that kept you bound to your descent, trying to force an arm free to touch him. You struggled so much and so hard you broke a sweat and tears stung your cheek. You felt an arm break through the substance, as if you were breaking through the top layer of water in an ocean. The air was cold around your arm as you continued to drive yourself through the liquid, chasing the light and the man who made you feel whole again. Perhaps you were another Icarus foolishly chasing after the sunlight, refusing to accept your death shall you actually touch the light. Your head breached from the liquid, your wings following. They were twisted and mangled, but they knew where to carry you. You clumsily spread them and twisted them against the strong wind of the void, tears streaming as your clawed your way through the air streams, nothing but the warmth of Diavolo keeping you strong. 

No you can’t die. Not yet. You had a beautiful prince to marry, a kick ass demon form...a chosen family who loves you more than anything in this world. The light was becoming blinding to you now as you went deeper and deeper into the warmth. A smile spread across your face as his face got closer and closer to your arms. 

You could feel your wings stretch out as you picked up speed to hurtle yourself into Diavolo. He was sunlight in the darkness of the ocean. His love for you is like sunlight when all hope is lost. Your wings gave a triumphant flick, as if they shed an old skin and are new. The void around you disappeared as your vision was covered in light all around you. You felt warm again. You felt alive again. You closed your eyes as you flew at top speed towards the man you will have a forever with. 

Y/N .....please come back to me... 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was sharp intake of breath as you shot awake, the crisp Devildom air burning your lungs and esophagus. Your arms acted without your command and wrapped themselves around Diavolo, your sobs drowning out anything he could say. All he did really was gingerly wrap his arms back around you, his gentle fingers toying with the feathers of your wings. 

“Y/N....” He whispered into your hair as the sobs started dying down. “Please tell me this is not some cruel joke....” 

“Diavolo.....it’s me.” You pulled back from his arms to get a good look at his face and the state he was in was heartbreaking. His auburn hair was tossed about, scratchy hairs have sprouted on his chin, and the dark circles under his eyes highlighted his amber eyes, making them almost glow against the darkness. He looked so withered down and exhausted. He breathed a sigh of relief, some of his own tears falling as he brought you into his arms again. His skin was warm to the touch, and after the bitter cold you were just suffering in, to have him wrapped around you like this was comforting. The silence between you two was comforting and suffocating. So much needed to be said, but both of you were too tired to say anything, more interested in tracing patterns in between each other’s shoulder blades. 

“How long has it been....” You finally asked, your cheek against his chest. He sighed again and kissed the top of your head, playing with your hair. 

“Almost a month. You know it would have been a month tomorrow on the dot but now I’m left to suffer at the thought of you being in a coma for 30 days, you couldn’t have waited until tomorrow to make it a nice even number?” He jested, but the joke had a somewhat hollow tone to it. 

“A month?” You whispered. You could not believe that almost a month has passed since you were last wrapped up in his arms. That’s when you took to notice the scenery around you and you felt a wave of shock rush through you as you saw the familiar tree and the canopy bed. You looked over at your desk that has remained untouched since you left Devildom as a human, only to return as a demon. You were in the House of Lamentation, but the walls seemed too quiet for your liking. 

“Where is everyone?” You asked Diavolo, trying to lift yourself from the mountain of covers, a panic swelling in your chest before Diavolo stopped you with a soft, yet curt push back down into the bed. 

“They’re at RAD right now, no need to worry.” Diavolo responded, kissing your cheek. Your cheek felt warm from where his lips connected to your skin. Comforting in your state of shock. “They’ll be back soon enough, and I’m sure each one of them will do their checks on you.” 

“Checks?” You asked, looking at his tired eyes. 

“Yes my love, one of them comes in for about fifteen minutes at the top of the hour. Just to check your vitals or if it’s Lucifer, he usually takes about forty five minutes debriefing me on any new news in Devildom while also checking on you.” He explained, smoothing the hair out of your face. His fingers were feather light against your skin. 

“And where were you during all this?” You asked curiously, already knowing the answer. How can you not, with the state he was in. He let out a small chuckle before placing his lips to yours softly.

“Praying for you to wake up. Imagine that. The future King of Hell...praying. I swear Lucifer almost wet himself when he walked in on me doing so. Thought I was going to burst in flames.” He chuckled, your noses rubbing together gingerly. “The damage done to your body was so severe I was surprised you even managed to breathe.” 

You stared at him, puzzled. You felt okay now, certainly not the greatest, but you have been through much worse in terms of pain. 

“What do you mean-” You asked, trying to sit up again, but Diavolo pushing you down again. 

“Well after you broke a certain brother’s arm into over a thousand pieces, you just started clawing at yourself and then shot straight into the air. Of course there’s a glass ceiling in the royal ballroom so there was quite a bit of damage from the glass, and with the cold air I’m pretty sure that did not help matters. Of course I immediately followed you, the brothers could take care of the party with Barbatos and Simeon. You’re flight pattern was super erratic and I could barely keep up with you. You started yanking out your feathers by the fistful and that’s when you suddenly dropped. You were far higher and farther away than I was, so I pushed myself to get to you in time, but unfortunately you already made impact with the ground. I still don’t understand how you survived the fall, the crater that you caused was at least sixty feet in length and twenty feet deep. With my heightened senses I could hear that you were very uh.....broken to say the least." Diavolo explained, slowly climbing in bed with you gingerly. All his movements seemed to be calculated as if he were afraid that one slight dink to your body will crumble you again. He hasn't been this careful since you were a human.

"How broken?" You asked, now understanding your overall throbbing pain. Even though you heal exceptionally faster as a demon, the damage done must've been severe for you to take a month to heal.

"Um....your back took most of the damage so aside from your wings being rendered virtually useless, you also completely shattered most of your spinal column. Your ribs were also cracked in various places as well. Same with your legs and arms. Also there was damage to your skull. So let's just say that the answer to that is extremely broken. I've never seen a demon take so much impact before and survive..." He said, facing you under the covers. He sweetly kissed your lips, the exhaustion finally catching up to him with every sleepy blink he took. "You really are one in a million."

He slowly wrapped his arms around your body, being super careful of everything, bringing you closer to his chest. Words can't describe how much you missed him. His heartbeat quickly synced to yours and within seconds he was fast asleep. You slowly drew patterns on his back and hummed a tune, kissing his forehead every now and then to remind him that you were still there.

The only thing that broke the tranquility of it all was when you heard a soft knock at the door. Diavolo started to stir slightly, but you hushed him to sleep.

"Come in." You responded. At the sound of your voice the door damn near fell of its hinges as your ex lover entered the room. You hissed at the man and motioned towards Diavolo, who was still wrapped up in your arms. The brother gave you an apologetic look and softly closed the door behind him, leaving nothing but the three of you in a suffocating silence. Diavolo mentioned that some brothers take longer than others, but that they rotate every hour to make sure that you're okay. He coughed to try to break apart the silence in the room but you genuinely had no idea what to say. Luckily, you didn't have to say anything as he slowly made his way over to your nightstand to lay the ring on the string next to your desk.

"Oh?" You asked, suspicions rising with the action. He glanced at you for a moment and swallowed hard.

"I knew you were here when I found this in the hallway. You always wore it around your neck because you were worried that you would lose the ring somewhere...." He explained, shuffling from one foot to the other. Despite the obvious tension in the air, he managed a soft smile. "I remember making fun of you for it-"

"Save the nostalgia." You growled, making him recoil for a second. He blinked in surprise at your words, but deep down your hatred with him was deserved.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered, turning his back to you. You know better than anyone that tears were forming in his eyes and thats why he turned around. "I'm the reason you're down here."

"Yep." You replied, not even regarding his emotions. He flinched at your words, but you did not care. Why should you? Clearly he had no regard for yours.

"Im sorry Y/N I just got lonely-"

"Do you think I wasn't? I had everyone lining down the damn block to get in my pants in the human world and I still remained loyal to you and only you. I didn't slip up once. I put in the effort. I put in the time to try to make this work between us. But you decided to not only completely ignore me but also cheat on me with a new bitch every year?!-"

"Its not my fault you didn't want to marry me."

Now you were pissed. Had Diavolo not been sleeping peacefully in your arms you would have slapped the ever living hell out of the man before you. He realized he struck a nerve when your aura started taking shape. The air around the room became significantly hotter and if looks could kill, this man would die a million times over.

"I- I'm sor-"

"You always fucking say I'm sorry, but I'm starting to doubt you even mean it. You know why I didn't want to marry you? Because I wanted to think things over. Make sure you were who I truly wanted and desired. I'm now glad, elated even that I didn't have to become your partner." You spat the last sentence out with so much acid you could feel the hole they made in his heart. He was livid now.

"What the fuck did you have to think over? You would have been happy here. We all could have been a big happy family, so tell me Y/N what did you have to think over? You know its really funny to me how you preached about unfaithfulness when you yourself were in love with another when dating me."

"I loved you."

"No you didnt!" He yelled, throwing your books off the shelves, leaving claw marks on the stone, tears flowing freely now. "You never did! It was always Diavolo that you were madly in love with since the beginning!"

"You don't know that!" You yelled back, standing up from the bed, demon form out. It hurt. Your own form seemed to be rejecting your body, but you will not back down. He let out a low laugh, shoving you back down onto the bed with force. You hissed in pain with just his hand making contact with your chest.

"Diavolo......" You whispered hoping to stir him slightly. The brother was sauntering over to you, clearly enraged now.

"Diavolo-" You said louder, shaking him slightly.

"Everyone did. You really played me like a fool , I admire your acting skills for that. You played everyone. You even played yourself as a lovestruck idiot for me, but we all really know who all the kisses, all the sweet nothings, all the breathy moans into the night were really for." He hissed, his demon form shuddering into view. He placed a claw into your arm and dug deep, making you yelp. Blood started trickling down your arm at the contact. "Now say his name."

"DIAVOLO!" You screamed out, and in a flash the brothers body was hurtled through the walls of the House of Lamentation. Diavolo stood in front of your body, arms out protectively. The brother stumbled to his feet , anger rising within him.

"I don't want to hurt you. You know that more than anyone. I would sooner forfeit all my abilities than harm you or your brothers. However...lay a finger on them again and I will not hesitate to hurt you." He stated, eerily calm. The brother growled in defiance, but refrained from charging the room again. His other brothers held his arms back, but there was an energy that radiated through the two rooms. It was as if an invisible line had been drawn in the sand, and you were trapped on one end.

Did you love Diavolo since you met him? Yes.

Did you also fall for the brother and his family? Yes.

You did the only possible thing you could think of at that moment which was stand up, shifting out of your demon form and resorting back to the broken and bruised form that you had before. You put Diavolo's arm down and before he could sputter out a protest, you gave him a look that could silence God himself. You slowly inched your way around the rubble, pulling your blanket tighter to your body with each step.

You felt like a toddler walking around for the first time. One of the brothers sensed your general unsteadiness after not walking for a month and gently guided you to the brother who was being held back. He merely glared at you, but his demon form also subsided. Even though four years have passed since you had an actually good look of his face, and weren’t trying to break it, the two of you can still almost read each others thoughts. Communicating with minute changes in expression always made the brothers not notice what you were conversing, and even now they're just as clueless. Even more so now that he puts his hand behind your back to steady you as you two made yourself over to his bedroom.

You shut the door behind you, the last time you did so was because you two were about to pleasure each other until one of the brothers would barge in and threaten to whip him for a thousand years, even though you're the one who initiated it most of the time. You slowly let go of the door handle, swallowing the pride you had and facing him. He spread out on his bed, his eyes never leaving you. The tension in the air is palpable at this point. You both continued to have your silent argument, until you slammed your fist against the door, causing the door to splinter underneath you. He flinched at the sound.

"For once in your goddamn life can you admit that you were wrong?!” You whispered sternly. You wanted to scream it out, but you also didn’t want to attract Diavolo and the rest of his family. “I vowed  on that day to love you until the end of time did I not?” 

He scoffed in response, crossing his arms. You walked over to him, squaring up to match his height as best as you could. 

“Did. I. Not?” You emphasized each word, never breaking eye contact. He let out a growl, but one look from you silenced it. 

“I might recall you saying that.” He admitted, although forcefully. 

“I loved you. I really did. I was committed to you and only you.” You said, grabbing his hands in yours. They felt the same as they did four years ago. “So why? Why did you not do the same?” 

He shoved his hands out of yours, crossing his arms again and crashing on the bed beneath him, but he wasn’t doing so out of annoyance this time. He was trying to keep himself from crumpling. 

“Because....I was trying to fill a void. I fell in love with a human of all creatures and I loved every second of it. But....around here. It’s more acceptable to fuck multiple humans than to settle down with one. At least....that’s what I told myself. I thought by not talking to you, you would get mad at me. I hoped that every call you made would be the last one. I screwed around with the other exchange students, but....Alex is different.” He explained. You quirked an eyebrow at him. He sighed and ran his hand through his locks before continuing. “The redheaded exchange student. They’re different. They feel different than the others.....” 

“Good different?” You asked, taking a seat next to him, relaxing now that he’s talking to you again. You saw a fond smile on his lips, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Yes. They’re the closest thing to filling that void. That’s why I completely ignored you....I thought you would just forget about me. So you didn’t have to be hurt by my actions. I wanted you to have a better life....one where you weren’t trapped in a relationship with me.” He admitted softly, wrapping his arms  tighter against his body. You felt him shudder next to you, followed by a sniff. You looked over and saw that he was crying. “Guess I fucked that one up too.” 

“Hey.” You said, making him look at you with his teary eyes. You didn’t even hesitate, you just slowly wrapped your arms around him and held him there. He tensed up at your touch at first, but slowly sand back into it. You slowly rubbed circles into his back. You weren’t going to forgive him so easily, but right now he just needs the comforting touch. “What you did was shitty as fuck. Seriously. But....I’m glad you found someone.” 

He simply nodded, the two of you attached to each other. Moments like this would usually be so calming to both of you, but now the feeling was foreign. Not exactly bad, but not quite the same.  

“I guess I’m glad you didn’t end up with some rotten human....” He whispered. You nodded your head and pulled away from him. “If anything....Diavolo is a great guy...I hope he treats you better than I did.” 

“Thank you...” You said with a small smile. “...I’m sorry for what I said at the party and five minutes ago....” 

“No no no. I’m sorry for what I said.” He responded. 

“No what I said was far worse.” You challenged with a slight smirk. 

“Did that fall cause brain damage? I- oh wait I know what you’re doing.” He started to counter, but realized immediately what you were trying to do. Just like old times. You both let out a laugh, finally feeling better now that the tension is gone, and a more comfortable silence replaced it. 

“So... are you going to marry Alex?” You asked, looking back at the brother. He seemed to ponder the question for a while, fidgeting with his fingers. 

“I was planning on asking them tonight....” He responded awkwardly, coughing into his hand. Your eyebrows shot up in shock. “They’re currently at Purgatory Hall, seeing as you took over their bed.”

“It was my bed first anyway.” You snubbed. He chuckled at that. 

“What about you and Diavolo?” He asked. You blinked and looked at him. 

“What about us?” You asked. He looked at you like you were a complete idiot, another laugh escaping. 

“Are you two getting married?” He asked again, a small smile on his lips. You parted your mouth to say something, but the doors to the bedroom swung open dramatically and in strutted Diavolo. 

“I-”

“If you think I’m going to sit here and propose to you in front of your ex boyfriend, you’re dead wrong.” He responded, outstretching a hand to you, a smile as big as could be stretching his face out. You let out a genuine laugh, grasping his hand gently as he slowly pushed you into his arms. Not the typical proposal you would assume Diavolo would do, but there was something so entrancing and comforting about him that you couldn’t say no. You loved him. Since the minute your feet hit the smooth stones of the RAD Student Council Room, you were lovestruck. He was the ray of sun that shone brightly against the never-ending night of Devildom. 

Maybe dying was the best thing to ever happen to you. Because without the darkness, you would have never found your sunlight. 

[stelliferia]

So yknow my kobold arcane trickster rogue, Kitt? She has a familiar now! His name is Mugwump (after the Canadian cryptid) and he is the best familiar I could ever ask for. What a beautiful good boy.

The process for this little boi was probably the best way I’ve seen find familiar done. The DM’s an absolute legend. I keep thinking about it, and it just make me cry.  Process/backstory dump under the cut. It’s a little long, be warned

I’m so sorry in advance, this became something of a writing exercise for me - if you read it, I really appreciate it, and feel free to send me a PM  if you want to chat!

So in addition to the usual components for the spell (10 gp worth of charcoal, incense, and herbs, and a bronze brazier) Kitt was required to collect a few other things. As someone who casts through her mind (intelligence) she needed to find three objects that represented mastery over three parts of her mind, in order to to have a familiar that represented it.

First was what does she want. Second was what would she do to get what she wanted. And the third was what does she fear will happen if she doesn’t get what she wants.

After much deliberating (on both hers and my parts), Kitt settled on the following things. A feather, some rope, and a set of charred wooden dice.

The feather represented freedom. Freedom from the slumbering ancient red dragon she used to collect shinies, and the threat of the terrible things it is capable of if it wakes. She wants for the rest of the kobolds to be free too. To explore the world and see the wonders it has to offer, no longer bound to endless servitude, just like she is now. The feather itself came from a hawk that used to belong to a very unpleasant man who had since been drowned, freeing it - something Kitt would want for herself and the other kobolds.

The rope represented Kitt’s willingness to explore to the ends of the earth(?) to find the Great Blade that is said to be capable of slaying the dragon for good. If the Blade isn’t the answer, she intends to keep on looking. Her dragonborn companion once told her rope was the most important thing an adventurer could have. So if she’ll be travelling a lot, Kitt figures she’s going to need quite a significant amount.

The charred dice represented everything she’s come to know and love being destroyed. This expansive, scary, beautiful world that she still has so much to learn about, would be ripped away from her if something wasn’t done about the dragon. She’d never see them again - her beloved Priestess telling stories with the shimmery pictures, or her friends and weasel running about, calling her to play. And while she hasn’t known them for quite as long, the crew, no, friends she’s made, she wouldn’t want them taken from her either. They still have stories to write write, quests to complete, and she wants to help see them through to the end. The dice, before they were charred, had delicate gold lettering etched onto each of the faces, and finished with a rich mahogany varnish. They were the first shinies she had ever found, and her first exposure to the outside world. She has fond memories with these dice, of her and her friend sneaking off during rituals to admire and play with the pretty shinies, delighting in the clickity-clackity noise they’d make as they hit the ground. As she went to put them in the fire place, her eyes started welling up, watching her precious reminder of home going up in flames. She quickly wiped them away, as the dice burned and blackened beyond recognition, and she started the ritual.

Falling into a meditative trance, visions surrounded her. She’s standing on the ship deck, nothing and no one else around, except the hawk, soaring above her. She blinked, and suddenly, she was seeing through the hawk’s eyes. It flew over the various islands, some of which she had visited, some of them soon to be. The scene shifts again, and she’s standing again, but this time, its somewhere hot, ashy, and dark. She’s home again. As her eyes adjust, her heart sinks to the floor. All of her friends. Dead. Reluctantly, she looks around. And it’s not just them, but all of the crew, the people she’s met along the way, and her clan, scattered like ragdolls. Looking away from the bodies, she comes snout to snout with a familiar face. A face she spent her life fearing, and hoped never to see again, and not like this. The Great Dragon Viskelaer was awake. 

Waking with a gasp, she found herself back in her quarters. Her heart was pounding, and her face was wet with tears. She curled into a ball, shaken by what she saw. There was a tug at her scarf, and when she looked, bright blue eyes looked back at her. The small mahogany creature pawed its way into Kitt’s lap, and its rope-like tail curling around as it settles in for a nap. Tentatively, the kobold reached out her claws to pet it, like she did the weasels back home. This one felt a little different though. The fur was more like soft feathers, somewhat reminiscent of the hawk. Realizing what had happened, Kitt’s cracked the tiniest grin. This weasel, Mugwump, is her precious shiny, and she was going to make sure she worked to protect it.

RIGHT SO THAT WAs BASICLALY WHAT HAPPENED for Kitt to get her familiar, and nearly everything about it I attribute to my incredible DM. I think he’s the first DM I’ve had who’s given me a world I absolutely adore, and he handles my character (monster race) so incredibly well. He’s very much all about the creative reflavouring, and I live for it. Gahh I have so much to say about this DM. They also handle Mugwump (in-game) very well, and it makes me so unbelievably happy. (i’m going to start a tag for myself for things Mugwump does/things I headcannon he does, called Mugwump Ventures)

So because of Kitt’s love of shinies, Mugwump has an inherent need for them as well. He doesn’t quite understand why though, so his natural response is to bite shinies he finds. He’s always actively seeking them out, eyes glittering whenever he sees one. He melts my heart. The forge cleric (one of my good friends in the group) had just gotten an upgrade to his armour, and didn’t know what to do with his old chain mail, so he ended up giving it to Kitt/Mugwump as a gift. Mugwump was overjoyed, and it’s his new toy now. It was so so sweet, and we are all crying. 

Tangent, but everyone in the party has gifted Kitt with something at some point. I mean, makes sense, you want to appease the captain >:). The druid gave her little daisies whenever he went to get her, the carpenter made her a little boat model, and the forge cleric not only gave her the armour, but he also forged her a proper rapier to replace her pointy stick. It’s just so sweet and wholesome. The crewjust wants to keep this little Kobold child happy

Gosh, another thing, when i first thought about casting Find Familiar, I just assumed it would be a regular weasel, but when the DM began describing Mugwump’s appearance, I began squealing from joy. Every aspect of the familiar’s appearance reflects the items, and what they mean to Kitt. So the eyes were meant to be the seas they were sailing, the rope tail was... the rope, the colouring was supposed to  be the dice and the charring, the feathers for freedom/the hawk, and the form (though predetermined) was home. I was legit so happy about it. I love this DM. It’s been a great time.

Anyways, long post over thanks for reading, hope you stay tuned for more wholesome content!

[sloppy-butcher]

Can I get some hcs for Freddy x reader who have like very love/hate reltionship? Like they annoy eachother constantly but still seek each others company. Thanks!

This is the first time I have ever tried writing for Freddy and to be honest, I am quite nervous I did him wrong. Please forgive any ooc characterizations i may accidentally give him - i tried my hardest to make him accurate to the 80’s version (yes, this one will be based on old freddy not the new one (2010 remake), hope that it okay <3) i also hope that you don’t mind if i make the reader a killer as i am only comfortable writing for freddy when the power dynamics are equal

Thank you for the request and i hope these are good enough for you 

Headcanons for The Nightmare (Freddy Krueger) with a Killer!S/O who have a Love/Hate relationship

When you are an obedient little dog, when you kill mercilessly and the Entity grows fat from your bountiful supply of food, the spider-god showers you with rewards. Most forms of these appreciations take a physical appearance (new and terrifying outfits to adorn during your daily workouts or new weapons for you to play with). But there were some gifts that were intangible, and otherworldly and oh so irresistible to you - dreams. The Entity lets you sleep if you do well in trials and sometimes even offers you sweet, beautiful dreams. They were indulging at first, so totally vivid in their detail and color that you could almost lose yourself completely in their daydreams. It was a spider web most wonderfully and intricately made. A labyrinth of the mind. But it did not take you long to notice the spider lurking in the corners of his creation.

You spotted him often hiding under the shadow of trees, just standing there in the corner of your eye - one look and he would vanish without a trace. You would have thought nothing of the strange occurrence had it had only happened once and in only dreams. During your walks in between realms, you’d spot the man through the treeline. He was unmistakable in his silhouette and in the way his eyes glowed a horrid orange. You did not fear him however, he was no worse a monster than you were. Rather you were annoyed by his presence in both reality and dreams. 

You bend down and pick up a rock, turning it over in your hands testing its weight and size. “Hey!” You shout at the man who halted his retreat into the dark, night wood at the sound of your voice. “Stay out of my fucking dreams, asshole!” You throw the rock at him, narrowly missing him and instead, striking a tree.

“Such a temper.” A hoarse voice coos from somewhere behind and you spin around to meet it. It was him, moving faster and quicker than air and appearing next to you, closer than ever before. You got your first good look at him. His skin was a sore pink leather and he smelled like smoke. “Trust me, sweetheart, I would if I could. Your dreams,” He takes out a hand covered in razor-sharp knives and mockingly strokes the hair out your face, “, are so boring.” You snatch his hand away from your face, barely noticing the sting of blades in your soft palm and the trickle of warm blood down your forearm. You did not grimace, did not cower, and did not back down. He grins at your defiant expression. “And here I thought you’d thank me for giving you the chance to live in such a wonderful world. I’m hurt,” He feigns agony, his free hand placed sorrowfully on his chest, “, good work always goes unappreciated.”

You scoff and show your teeth. “I would prefer nightmares if it meant I wouldn’t get to see you.” The man laughed and flexed his knife-fingers, fresh blood oozing out your wound.  

“Oh babe, you and me both. I don’t like this babysitter gig anymore than you do.” He leans closer grinning with his horrible yellow fangs, the scent of a recent kill seeping off his tongue. “I prefer nightmares anyway.” 

“You look like a nightmare.” You spit into his face, finally letting go of his weapon and glaring at him. He laughs again.

“You are a feisty one. I think you and I are going to get along fabulously.”

Of course, he did not heed your warning for that very same night you saw him again in your dreams. Though now, he made it a point, not to hideaway. He approached you and actively talked to you, following you around your dream like a resistant plague. He commented on your shit reality, on all the things you could have wanted to dream of, and yet you only wanted to be in an empty field at the brink of dawn. He shakes his head and degrades your poor taste with even more snarky comments. You knew you couldn’t do anything to him while in his dream but in the physical world - well, that is a completely different story. 

If he was going to bother you while you slept like a buzzing mosquito, you decided to bother him when you were awake. In the real world he was much less intimidating, that aura of cosmic power that bubbled around him while in a dream state, was not present in the night air and you smirked at his weakness. You mentioned his height, asking how anyone could be scared of such a small man. He’d lash out, swinging at you with both his blades and his harsh tongue.  He was easy to toil, easy to wind up but a task to deal with. Freddy could take a punch to his pride and deal out damage times 10. 1 mean-spirited remark deserves 10 more. 

Freddy thrived on this back and forth. Ordinarily, he would turn his nose up at the idea of bickering with another killer - sure, some of them were fun, simple minds with which to bend and manipulate in dreams but most were already so twisted in their own self-delusions that well, he just didn’t find them all that interesting. But your mind was sharp and quick, built in the skull of a hardened murder professional yet dainty enough to still yearn for the sunlight world of goodness. A perfect balance. It had been a very long time since last Freddy had had a conversation of equals - a real conversation where the table was not shifted in the favor of either one. If he said something that crossed a boundary or hit a nerve (a task he sought out to do almost every night) you would turn on him, shoot daggers at him with the sole intent of murdering his little ass. Sure, it never really scared him but there was no denying that in a way, to spare with an equal really turned him on. To be challenged. 

There were times when he would become too much. Like the static on a dead radio station, he would drone on and on about a certain topic he knew would heat your blood. Always poking his stick deeper and deeper into the bear until you’d bite. Luckily it was quite simple to turn him off - just don’t sleep. You never really needed to rest in the Fog anyway, tiredness never made its claim over your bones even after a long day at work. Sleep was merely a reward, after all, a gift that could be refused if so desired. If time could be recorded within the Entity’s world, then the longest you had gone without sleep, and without seeing that little creep, would have been 2 months. He had really pissed you off when in a dream he produced a small songbird and made you watch as he melted its skin off - all for sport. A sight that did not necessarily make your skin crawl but one that irked you. It was always a game with him, a competition to see who would break first and try to strangle the other. And, to be dead honest, it was starting to annoy you more than anything he could say or do. So you stopped seeing him, stopped dreaming, and stopped seeking him out in the woods. You were tired of always trying to be bested and frankly, his childishness was wearing you thin.

But there was no denying that in that quiet that ate up the space where Freddy used to stand, a strange loneliness would grow incredibly heavy and dreadful. You missed his rather repulsive company, his witty and sharp tongue always keeping you on edge and on your toes. There was no way you could stop your head from turning around to look for him, seeking out his small frame among the dark wood. It was lonely without the flies, silent and decaying slowly.

For the life of him, Freddy tried to move on. He had never tied himself to one person before, never allowed himself to latch on to anyone save for his favorite little toys. But with you it was different. It was fun to annoy you, it was fun to torment you in dreams. It was even fun when you reeled at him, hackles raised threatening to kill. It was exciting, it reminded him of the joy of being powerful and alive (in a sense). And when you never took his bullshit sitting down, when you'd raise to meet his call, oh how it set fire to his heart. To be challenged. He could feel himself wither away, the interest that you had sharpened only seemed to dull and break off in your absence. He’d hate to admit it, but he missed you. Missed your noise and missed that sweet dream of yours.

Both of you are too prideful to confess to the other that you were lonely. But when, one day, you find yourself dreaming a familiar vision, that built-up residue of solitude melted and you turned to face Freddy eagerly.

“Did you really think you could not sleep forever?” He crossed his arms over his gloating chest, a snake tongue flickering victories in between teeth. “I always get my prey.” You smirk, not surprised in the slightest by his rather rude welcome back. You look around at the grassy field surrounding you both shining a brilliant emerald, the sun feeling warm on your back, and the fresh, clean air carrying with it the scent of spring flowers. 

“Aw, you missed me, Frederick?” You tease him with his unused full name, casting a devilish side-eye to the dream-demon. You see a flicker of panic, alerting you that you had hit the nail on the head before he spits and loudly proclaims,

“Don’t be so far up your own ass!” His golden eyes gleamed pure hatred at you. “It's not a hat.” You laugh at the face of the fuming man, knowing that despite how his actions appeared malicious and distasteful, there was no feasible way to deny that the dream he had made for you was spectacular and expressed something deeper than just surface-level annoyance. 

[x-reader-theater]

Take a Chance, for the Nights are Short {1}

Relationship: Geralt of Rivia X Male!Reader

Summary: You must slay a beast to prove you’re a capable knight to your queen. She never said you couldn’t have a little help... 

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 1,405 words

A/N: Hey guys! Look who’s back! College has sucked away all my motivation for anything creative but now that I’m on break, I’m back baby! I started watching Netflix’s ‘The Witcher’ and got so inspired I wrote something for it in a week! This is a series, so there are four chapters to this, and I’m planning for two more stories as well, so you’re going to get a lot with good old Geralt over here! Also, in this story, I imagine Geralt is younger than he is in the games or the show like he just got out of Witcher training. It’s not explicitly stated, but that’s just how I wrote him. Also, your horse’s name is pronounced ‘Yennis’ but spelled like Jennis. Like Jaskier. I don’t know if anyone reads through my author's notes but if you did, here’s a gold star, I don’t know. Please leave a like and a comment and reblog if you can! Those reblogs really help me! Without further ado, “Take a Chance, for the Nights are Short”. 

Chapter: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Chapter 1: A Chance Encounter of the Second Kind

"Bring me the heart," you hear your Queen's voice echo in your head, like a laughing memory. "Bring me the heart of this beast and I shall grant you your greatest wish…" The echo dies in your head and you close your eyes, letting the mocking laughter fade from your mind. You will not let this woman make fun of you. You will kill the beast. You know you will. You will ride through the forest and kill this beast. "Kill the beast… Bring me, the heart…" 

"Get out of my fucking head you- you fucking bitch!" you scream as you unsheath your sword, swinging it at a nearby tree. "Get out of my head, I know what needs to be done!" You hack and slash, anger gripping your senses as grip your sword. "Stop saying what I need to do!" You scream as your blade hits the tree, and it lodges itself in there, a few inches into the soft wood. The tree itself is bleeding bright red sap that reminds you of blood. You look down and huff out a breath, placing your hands on your hips as you catch your breath, your anger subsiding for a moment. 

You look around before going back to your sword, planting your foot on the tree, gripping the handle, before trying to tug it out of the tree. You pull once, twice, and on the third go, your fingers slip and you fall to the ground. Your head hits the soft earth. You think you see stars for a moment but you blink, and they're gone. You groan as you get up, placing your hands beside you as you haul yourself to your feet. You look over at your horse, Jennis, and roll your eyes playfully as she just stares at you. 

"You could help you know?" Jennis just snorts and you place your hands on your hips. "Oh don't give me that. You're stronger than me, we both know it, now get over here and help me you big lug." She takes two steps backward. "Oh don't you start with me. I could have picked any-" 

"Who're you talking to?" 

You spin around so fast you're surprised your helmet doesn't spin along with you. Standing behind you is a man in all black studded leather armour. He has a silver chain around his throat with the head of a wolf on it. The silver of the chain matches his equally silver hair, that, for his age, doesn't seem to fit. The strangest part, however, isn't his head of silver hair, but his strange, yellow eyes, slitted in the middle, like a cat's. 

You shake yourself out of your daze and clear your throat. "Uh… ahem. No one. I wasn't talking to anyone." 

The strange man, who you now realize is leading a horse behind him, raises his eyebrows in what looks to be disbelief. "Really? 'Cause I could have sworn I heard you talking to someone a minute ago," he says. 

You look toward your sword then back at the man. There would be no fighting him. You're skilled with a blade, or so you tell yourself, but getting past that pure wall of muscle isn't going to happen. Looking at him, he seems relaxed, like he doesn't want to fight you either. 

So you sigh and resign yourself to humiliation by this unnaturally good looking man. "I was talking to my horse…" you say, almost defeated in your tone, but not quite yet. It takes a lot to get you defeated. 

You walk back over to your sword and start to try and pull it out of the tree again as the man speaks. "Hm. Glad to know I'm not the only one who does that…" 

You pause for a moment, not looking at him, just thinking before you grunt and start to try and pull your sword from its temporary sheath. Your hands slip once again, but instead of tumbling to the ground like before, you feel strong hands on your back, steadying you. Looking up you see those cat eyes boring into your own. 

"Careful. Don't want to hurt yourself," he says, steadying you on your feet. 

You pull away and brush yourself off, clearing your throat as you do so. "Thank you, but, Knights of Cintra do not need outsiders help." You stand proudly, with your chest puffed up and your head held high. 

"You're a knight of Cintra?" the man asks in disbelief.

"Well…" Your pose deflates as you say this, "Not yet, but I will be! Once I slay this beast in the forest, and claim the monster's heart!" You stand proud, before turning back to your blade and trying to free it once again. 

The man walks around and leans on the tree, crossing his arms as he watches you struggle. "And, what is this beast that you have to slay?" he asks, sounding almost impressed, though thoroughly enjoying toying with you. 

You stop tugging and sigh, placing your hands on your hips as you look up at him. "I don't know." 

His eyebrows shoot up and he huffs out an incredulous laugh. "You don't kn- you don't know!" You roll your eyes and plant your foot on the tree again, trying once again to free your sword as this man, this stranger, laughs at you. "How can you not know! You were tasked with killing it, were you not? Whoever tasked you must have given you some details?" 

You now have both feet on the tree as you tug. You must have been much stronger in your anger than you normally are. You'll have to remember that for next time. "She-" Tug. "Told me-" Tug. "That the beast is-" Tug. "About 500 paces west of the Jeweled Lake." Tug. Your feet fall to the ground and you gasp in pain, your lungs filling with burning air. You never were good at the running portion of the knight's initiation test. 

The man walks around the tree, to where you were standing almost a moment ago, and he grabs the handle of your sword with one hand, tugging only once before it cleanly falls into his palm with a gentle thud. He flips it around in his grip, testing the weight of the blade, before tossing it into the air and catching it, his hand just missing the sharp edges as he holds it out to you, handle first. 

You tentatively reach out and grab it, slipping it into your sheath. "Maybe the knights of Cintra don't need help, but it seems like their future knight does," the man teases. You walk to Jennis and grab her reins and start walking away from the man, hoping to ignore him. "You know, I was tasked by some of the locals to come and kill this beast too. Maybe, if you help me kill this monster, I can help you become a knight?" 

You stop at that and turn around to see he's been following you, tugging along his own horse by the reins. "And how can you do that?" you ask, doubtful of his abilities. 

He shrugs. "Whatever you need, I'll get it for you." 

You roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? And why's that? Why did the villagers hire you? What makes you so special?" You spit the word 'special' out like its blood on your tongue. 

"Well, I'm a Witcher." He says it so matter of factly like you should already know what he is. But that does make you stop and actually think. 

"Witchers are a myth. They've been dead for centuries. Their order disbanded- well, were forced to disband and the Witchers died along with it." You look him up and down and roll your eyes. "You're lying. There's no Witchers left." 

And with that matter of fact statement of your own, you turn and walk away. Or, at least, you try to, but the man grabs the back of your armour and holds you in place. 

He whips you around and when the visor on your helmet closes, he opens it back up, revealing your eyes to his own yellow ones. "I'm a Witcher. And, I will help you." 

"Why?" is all you ask. You don't really know what to say. 

"Because," he says with a shrug. He lets you go. "I was looking for something fun."

[thesilkenlair]

(Casey Here!)

As much D&D as I play, you'd imagine I would eventually get around to illustrating some of their most iconic monsters! Which is to say, the ones that I personally find the most iconic. Which is to say, the ones I memorized when I was reading my dad's monster manual at age nine. Purple worm - Sandworms never go out of style. I've seen a lot of rad designs for this bugger over the editions, but I favor the slightly less reptilian older takes for this particular critter. It's kinda basic, but sometimes that's what you want. It's like a shark or a crocodile: Just flat out unchanged across the ages. Hook horror - I've heard it rumored that Gygax used a small Gigan figure to represent this monster. I can't verify that, but it definitely sounds right. Hook horrors are one of the very first things you meet when you play around in the caves, and they kind of remind me of the Father Deep monsters of the Hork Bajir homeworld that way. Mind flayer - Mind flayers! Basically, take all of your Dracula conventions and dip them in a fresh coat of Lovecraft. There's that old "decadent aristocratic upper caste system who literally eats the poor, but still somehow comes across as less evil than the actual real life 1%" setup that will never stop being relevant. Though personally, I see mind flayers as the first alternative for folks who want to play that monster-who-feels-the-urge-to-eat-their-friends-but-refuses-to-do-it shtick but don't want to deal with vampire baggage. You know, the furry option! ... Slimy? Rubbery? Do we have a word for anthro-cephalopods? I'm only a casual furry. Gelatinous cube - I'm not apologizing for giving this one a slot. Froghemoth - So, back when I participated in my very first long-term campaign, I played a druid. You've met Talia before. Naturally, I was chomping at the bit for the day I finally got to turn her into a froghemoth, and celebrated the day my wish was finally granted and she was allowed to chug human-supremacist-cultists like popcorn. Yeah, okay, the froghemoth is one of the classic vore-monsters. But it's a charming design in its own right. Kind of a freaky Hanna Barbara critter, like you'd see Space Ghost fighting. No matter how many artists draw it, they can never shake that inherent goofiness that third edition tried so hard to purge. I would probably cram them somewhere onto Fronterra if I was sure they were public domain. As is, I'm 99% certain that this is what Visser Three turned into when he ate Elfangor. Tarrasque - D&D's original kaiju! Kind of just takes the name and nothing else when it comes to its mythological origins, but I don't mind. The Tarrasque is that endgame "let's test the players" final boss monster... Or at least it's supposed to be. My DM reskinned it for our final Pathfinder session, and one of the PCs still nearly killed it in a single turn. Also, he let Talia turn into one, so maybe Pathfinder is just bullshit? Regardless, the Tarrasque has one of those simple, iconic designs. I've heard rumors it was based on the concept art for Fallout's deathclaws, and like the Gigan-figure, I can't verify this in any way. With its reptilian features, twin horns, spiny carapace and grabby fingies, it has an undeniable lizardlike quality that I can't help but find charming. Kinda feels like a more refined version of Zilla? Though for an insatiable eating machine, I notice a lot of artists give it very little belly to work with. Come on, this guy eats entire cities! Give him somewhere to put it! Rust monster - An icon of icons, the rust monster! Drawing its origin from a bizarre Chinese "dinosaur" toy, later designs have made it more insectoid in appearance, but never feeling QUITE like anything Earthly. It's the four limbs. Between the four limbs and the tail, it's hard to tell if it's an arthropod mimicking a vertebrate or the other way around. I'm pretty sure this is part of what inspired my ossaderm creatures for Fronterra. Also, Ryla can turn into one in our campaign. I have no shortage of havoc to wreak when the opportunity comes. Behir - Dragons in D&D are kind of... extra. Godlike beings, paragons of whatever personality trait they represent. Whenever there's something uber powerful in D&D, it gets compared to dragons. It makes them kind of unapproachable. Behirs provide all the essentials of a dragon - Serpentine body, scaly skin, horns, sapience, breath weapon, taste for human flesh - wrapped up in a smaller, weirder, IMO cooler package. You know, your Lambton Worms. A lot easier to port in and out of adventures, a lot less of an event when they show up, but still a formidable force in their own right. I like the behir. The behir knows how to taunt me just the right amount. Bulette - Another Chinese "dinosaur" figure monster, the bulette is actually another one I associate with Talia. Whenever we faced a problem that didn't have a glaringly and immediately obvious solution, she would turn into a bulette, whether it was for beating up robots, digging through obstacles, trampling smurfs, navigating labyrinths, distracting slashers with cute dog tricks... it was kind of her signature form. But shenanigans aside, the bulette is just an excellent monster. While the "land shark" shtick may be common, there's a lot more going on with the bulette's design. It's rumored to be a mad wizard's creation, as he combined a snapping turtle with an armadillo and mixed in a helping of demon blood to taste. Personally, I always considered that to be a neat little rumor to flesh out the world, but never assumed it to be true. The bulette just feels too naturalistic for that. Like some kind of protomammal or crocodylomorph, or weird triassic monstrosity. Magic and demons and dragons and so on DO affect the ecosystem. I always figured the bulette was just something that evolved to compete in this new biosphere. Owlbear - This one, on the other hand, I fully believe the "mad wizard was bored" explanation. Another chinasaur critter, the owlbear is frequently made fun of. What makes it scarier than a regular bear? It can't fly, so why have owl parts at all? Why trade fangs for a beak in what is at best a latural move? Well, first of all, fuck you, owls are creepy motherfuckers, and that alone is enough to justify it. But secondly, that's part of its charm. Besides some improved vision, the owl DOESN'T make it more dangerous. What makes the owlbear dangerous is that it's an insane, Frankensteinian monstrosity roaming uncontrolled through the wilderness! It doesn't need weaponry, its sheer temperament is enough to make it a worthy opponent. Sure, the practical threat might not be hugely above that of a bear, but storytelling isn't about numbers. Any asshole can go outside and get eaten by a bear. The owlbear is part of this world. The owlbear is a reminder of what magic can do. Someone somewhere actually made this thing, for whatever reason, and now the world is irrevocably changed because of it. Owlbears go beyond practicality. They bring the lore! Also, bears don't have very good eyesight, so the big owl eyes probably make them better hunters. Flumph - Is that a Japanese-style martian? Do we just have aliens in D&D? Dear lord, I love them! Okay, the flumph has got a sizable hatedom. And that hatedom can eat my ass, because the flumph is precious and perfect just the way it is! Flumphs are designed as a sort of sidekick-type creature. They're not very good fighters, but they bring knowledge and lore to the table. Whether they're aliens from some far off star, seeking your aid to prevent catastrophe, or psionic natives of the Underdark eager to bask in your positivity and hopefully stick it to the tyrants they're forced to share real estate with. My group generally treats them as straight up aliens, benevolent but strange. Course, we're all pretty strange, so we get along just fine. Otyugh - Okay so, the aberration creature type implies that this is something from another world that doesn't belong. And yet otyughs, which are aberrations, are an essential part of this world's ecosystem? Okay, I can buy the idea that an alien organism adapted to our world and is now a key part of it. Fronterra's got a TON of that. It just feels like after a point, the otyugh would be considered a beast? Otyughs are great. Every ecosystem needs a decomposer, and every fantasy story needs at least one dive into the sewers. Otyughs provide both, and are intelligent enough to keep the plot moving if it hits a snag. There's always going to be garbage, refuse, carrion, decay, things that need to be broken down and processed. Carrion crawler - The carrion crawler is pretty similar to the otyugh in that it's technically not considered a beast, and therefor must have its origins elsewhere, but feels so integrated into the ecosystem that it just feels like it belongs. They usually can't talk, so they're not just reskinned otyughs, but I still consider them pretty essential. Otyughs find a singular spot where waste is dumped and shovel it down at their leisure, while carrion crawlers skulk through the tunnels, actively seeking their food. The crawler got one of the most radical redesigns on the transition from second to third edition, but I can't really choose a single favorite. The oldschool tentacle-faced cutworm looks like it could be a real animal, while the googly-eyed Halloween decoration feels like it could be from another world, merely having set up shop here. Could there name apply to two wholly different creatures? If so, then I'm not sure which one mine would be considered. I kinda mashed them together into something that doesn't quite feel like either. But I like it for what it is. Maybe I'll sneak it onto Fronterra. Aboleth - Tentacled, telepathic sea creatures who turn humans into slimy minions, who remember everything their race has ever seen, and who are always plotting something behind the scenes. Yeah, the aboleths really crank up the Lovecraft elements. Actually, between the mind flayers, the flumphs and the aboleths, even the most oldschool D&D covered quite a few essential Lovecraftian bases. The flayers are your corrupt yet still recognizable humanoids who can be considered truly evil, the flumphs are benevolent-yet-bizarre guardians who know more than you, and the aboleths are the truly unknowable, sinister intellects. The fact that they can barely function on land honestly only adds to that, IMO. They're inherently difficult for a party to reach, and they offer some nice underwater adventure seeds. Not enough adventures go underwater. There's this perception that the ocean is bad for storytelling because so many writers lack the creativity to make it work. I wanna run an underwater adventure now. Beholder - Icon of icons! THE D&D monster! The beholder! Paranoid, jumpy, always five steps ahead and twenty steps perpendicular! Beholds are fun in just about every way. Between their wacky, diverse designs, their elaborate lairs, their eccentric personalities, their bizarre powers, you're never gonna run out of fun with beholders. Remorhaz - It's always been a thing that bothered me with environment-based monsters. Why does the ice monster who lives in the cold use ice as a weapon? Aren't most of the things it encounters going to be resistant to the cold? Sure, a cone of cold will still kill a polar bear, but a lot of the monsters in the tundra are outright immune to cold. A while dragon's not going to get much use out of its breath weapon fighting frost worms and frost giants. That's one reason the remorhaz sticks out to be. We have an icy tundra beast whose insides are a scorching furnace, which it can intensify and weaponize as it sees fit. Which also conveniently explains why its design - a sort of cobra-esque centipede - invokes warm-weather creatures, despite its icy environment. It's a nice subversion of the usual tropes, plus it's just a memorable, cool looking critter to begin with. On a smaller note, the remorhaz feels like a good loophole for Ryla's "no cold weather morphs" rule. Turning into something elementally affiliated with ice is no good, but a non-magical monster that survives the cold by superheating its insides? That seems perfectly viable to me!

[aeide-thea]

This is a gentle request for any Geraskier fics you want to rec, because the number of them in the tag is a bit overwhelming but I KNOW there are gems in there 👀

i’m pretty sure i’ve reblogged things in the past! but it’s true that i haven’t done that in any systematic way, so—let’s see. under the cut are 20-ish recs alphabetized by author, which seemed like a good way of avoiding having to make any hierarchical declarations:

o, empathy by almostnectarine/@nectarine-pit: bodyswap! i forgot how much i loved this fic. geralt and jaskier walk a mile in each other’s shoes, and learn to appreciate each other better; this is keenly observed and thought-through, and frequently extremely funny. a thoroughgoing delight.

Jaskier pulled a face and swiveled the straps such that both swords almost fell from their scabbards at once, ruining the moment. “Geralt,” he said, “this leather itches. You’ve lived five lifetimes—” “Not that old,” said Geralt, in protest, and then, considering: “Maybe three.” “—and you never once thought, hm— oh, I see why you do that all the time, it is quite fun, isn’t it— hm, maybe I’ll add a little padding?!” His mimicry of Geralt’s tone was very good, although perhaps it was cheating, when the voice was already the same.

public displays of affection by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: geralt and jaskier go to a sex party! (not to be confused with the other fic by sospes in which geralt and jaskier go to a sex party, which is also excellent.) if that wasn’t enough of a sell, well, you confuse me, but—the flavor of the power dynamic here is a little complex and unusual in a way i enjoyed, plus frankly the description of geralt stripped down for this party is really, uh. really A Lot. i admit to being biased in favor of sex party stories in general but this one is definitely a keeper.

to you always, also by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: in which geralt is a demanding, insatiable bottom. ...honestly, this fic has significantly more emotional weight to it than that description might suggest, but i still stand by it. also the initial setup is just really funny to me, because jaskier getting hilariously outraged by geralt’s sheer infuriating geralt-ness is, like, my fave flavor of jaskier. (that’s a lie, every flavor of jaskier is my favorite flavor of jaskier, but i do really delight in this one.)

@blossomsinthemist’s mixing memory and desire series (wip) is basically my favorite thing ever, like, just truly perfectly crafted to please me personally. it’s h/c, and just astonishingly luxuriant and languorous and lovely—or, okay, let me actually just quote a comment i left on an early chapter:

this is just so exquisitely tender and molasses-lovely-sweet so far, my god the glimpses we get dimly through geralt’s hazy bemused perception of what jaskier’s feeling are so heart-clenchingly poignant—and then of course the glimpses of what geralt himself is feeling for jaskier without understanding it, this stunned rapt gratitude for everything jaskier is doing but also everything jaskier is, the lovely gentle sturdy solicitous gift he is & keeps making of himself to geralt, who would probably call it undeserved except that of course we can see precisely what in geralt has tugged this tenderness from jaskier, this terrible aching wounded gallantry that’s so astonished to meet with respite…

the meet death sitting (wip) series by @bomberqueen17 is my other favorite thing—much plottier than the previous, with a much wider cast of characters, and while i’m ultimately in it for the geralt/jaskier and therefore being strung along in exquisite agony while all sorts of plot things get in the way of any real resolution of that, it’s honestly worth it; what you lose in immediate gratification you gain in, like, a sense that this story inhabits a real, full world, with real events that aren’t just arranged to suit our heroes’ convenience. if i could only get you to read two things it would be this series and the previous one: between them they have my heart. anyway i guess i may as well quote myself again:

it’s the rich realistic interweaving of things that’s so remarkable here, how the absolute throat-thickening aches run abruptly up against the entirely mundane and all of it has to be coped with, because that’s life, and this story has life within it, in a realer way than probably anything else in the fandom, maybe anything else i’ve read in a long time. and of course a large part of me is so, so desperate for geralt and jaskier to finally come back together, with enough time and space to settle into a mutual secure tenderness instead of the current wordless, longing, poised-always-to-spring-away-like-deer-in-a-forest situation; but the story is coaxing me into a more adult patience, an appreciation for the smaller quieter incidental pleasures that aren’t the one subsuming great love, and then also teaching me to live with the wounds one inevitably acquired along the way, the pull and ache of those that makes the whole thing real, not a shining fantasy but a homely pie with a rich satisfying filling, savory and bolstering.

my body bruises at your touch by @brawlite: jaskier gets tied up by geralt as bait for the monster of the week, and discovers he likes it quite a bit. smut (and then aftercare) ensues.

demand an encore (wip) by emamel/@theaceace: jaskier is a witcher of the viper school, or used to be. he doesn’t remember it, but geralt does.

it’s been a while since i read this, but the way the layers slowly start fitting together is really satisfying: all the joy of what i think the kids call ‘identity porn,’ with the twist that here, it’s geralt who knows both identities, and jaskier who’s still in ignorance. ugh, i want chapter 3 now.

musica universalis by flirtygaybrit is bookverse and clearly so—it’s not romantic, but there’s a particular ambiguous flavor of solicitous tenderness that elevates this ‘friendly drunken hookup’ scenario to something memorable for me.

of cherries and dandelions by heyriel: in which a still-virginal jaskier bites off more than he can chew, and tries to disguise it until he can’t anymore. as i said to the author:

this is lovely and realistic in its navigation of, like, trying to Be Cool and the ways that can sometimes get you in trouble as a young sexplorer—geralt is so good to jaskier here and i’m having feelings about it!

also geralt uses a dildo on jaskier, which was not a thing i’d known i wanted before reading this, but it turns out i’m very decidedly here for it! i haven’t seen a ton of sex toys in geraskier fic and this story makes me wish there were more.

gentle-sharp and strange by lisztful has some excellent touch-starved pining geralt, also a performatively public bath scene with very satisfactory sexual tension, also an Ancient Tradition which is maybe the thing i remember most about this fic.

i know that you would want it (if i could sink my teeth into you) by objectlesson is... look, there’s an actual emotional arc to this story, but really what i always remember about it is that it’s got the most overwhelmingly visceral rimming scene i’ve maybe ever read? it’s a lot, it’s a gift, go read it.

@pasdecoeur has several stories that are very funny with some very piercingly erotic moments! briefly sketched in some ways and more pining than porny but no less effective for it.

benefits by @shastafirecracker is a pwp story in which jaskier is first surprised to find geralt wants him to top, and then determined to give geralt the best dicking he’s ever had. jaskier’s inner dialogue in this one is really fun; geralt’s exterior dialogue is true to the show in that it’s minimal but nonetheless includes a bad pun. :)

even a small love by shecrows/@leighway is like. you think you know how things are going to go, and then jaskier balks and it abruptly swerves sideways and develops a whole plot, and then comes back around to where it started, but deeper and better. don’t you love how you can summarize a fic without saying anything meaningful or even helpful about it? anyway: read this one.

snowmelt by silklace/@silkcoeur is a/b/o and somehow both extremely hilarious and extremely hot in full measure. the banter is a fucking delight but so are the tension/sex/feelings.

It wasn’t until they were well on the road away from town that it really hit him, though possibly he should have been paying attention to the way the backs of his knees had started sweating the minute he’d seen Geralt walking towards him outside of Yennefer’s manor, or to the way his throat had gone hot and dry despite the taste of sweetness still on the back of his teeth from the wine skin he’d pilfered from her pantry on his way out. In his defense, he’d still been recovering from spending the prior evening steadfastly spitting his insides up onto his outsides. Also, he tended to always get a little sweaty around Geralt, a fact they were both apparently extremely united in assiduously pretending was not happening.

the sevenfold path by star_flaming/@europeansdomusicalsbetter: in which jaskier is demonstrably extremely well educated, and geralt has feelings about it. (i also have feelings about it, but mine are in my pants.)

you are in my blood by @suzukiblu​: au where jaskier is a bruxa. this alters his character significantly—hard to be too skittish about bloodletting when you’re a vampire!—but the story’s so engaging you probably won’t care? plus, uh, hot. :)

Jaskier’s just debating how much trouble he’s actually in when Geralt, marvelously, talks them out of it. After that, well... Jaskier still wants to eat him very badly, but he supposes it’d be a bit ungrateful of him. Geralt isn’t very impressed with the song he writes for him, unfortunately—which, rude—but doesn’t try to run off and leave him either, so.. Well, Jaskier’s a bit smitten. A delicious-smelling witcher who can talk his way out of being murdered is very impressive. And he always has wanted a pet.

taran (@iamtaran)’s manhandling without plot series has no sex but lots of violent, compellingly visceral hijinks and i like to think of it as preslash. three times geralt hauls jaskier out of trouble.

Jaskier is flat on his back with his chemise rucked up to his armpits, salve burning on his bruised ribs, breathing hard; he is drunk, but not nearly as drunk as he was when he threw that first punch; Geralt is stupidly strong and has him pinned beneath one hand and the sheer girth of his own hips, looking grumpy and short on patience, and under everything—the aromatic menthol and chamomile smell of the salve, the aching of his cheek and lip, the relief of seeing Geralt just as upright and uninjured as he had been when he left, Jaskier is… He had thought he was furious. He still is, somewhat. Like… like a seed is a flower. It was, at first, before it became something else. And given enough time it might become such again. It is what it is in the meantime, however. Fury. Seeds.

last but not least, @toyhto​ has a bunch of fics that crack me the fuck up: geralt is unbelievably oblivious to his own emotions even as he acts on them, and it’s just—it’s so, so funny. also sometimes quite sweet, and sometimes quite painful! there’s a particular air of, i don’t know, almost see-spot-run impenetrability to the writing here that lends itself perfectly to the thing the stories are doing, where geralt is just operating totally on a surface level and, like, feelings are moving in the deep but he can’t quite see them...

...and that’s all for now! more to come later, maybe; but this seems like plenty for a first pass, and anyway i’m blurbed out.

[dxrksong]

Shattered Glass (Old Mirror)

It just….didn't feel real. 

The way that the bullets flew through you as you protected your friend

(Did you go drinking or something? you can't recall)

None of the assault felt like they actually hit you

Until one lands directly in your abdomen.

A flurry of pain and electric signals as your body finally registered what was happening to you, hit you like a truck! 

You fell to the ground, twitching and spasming violently as you heard the commotion above you. You're friend was freaking out and the guys were shouting loudly.

As your vision started to go out, you managed to register your friend's face, their forehead to your's

You tried to reach out despite the burning agony, to hold her hand, comfort her, anything to dry her tears. But your body refused to move, you trying over and over again until you felt something solid in front of you. You ran your hands along it. 

You could feel cracks. Weaknesses in the wall. 

You started pounding it, not giving up. You could hear sirens, can't give up! The wall cracked some more, making you determined to continue. You could feel the wall shatter like glass, some shards cutting your cheek and hands.

All of a sudden you're sucking in a deep breath, coughing the dusty air almost immediately. 

You were alive! But….where are you…? The place looked dead and abandoned, grafitty and the occasional broken thing here and there. 

You think the part that REALLY sent you reeling was how covered in moss and flora this place was/had become. 

How did you even get here?? Last thing you remembered you were walking with your friend when-!!!

That's right, your friend! A worried sound escaped your throat. You hope she's ok! She was never really good with loss and dealing with people…

Your train of thought was quite quickly interrupted as you started hearing whispers and mutters nearby. You look around cautiously, wondering who in their right minds would be caught dead in this place.

Your eyes landed on who seem to be a pair of twins peeking around the corner, one holding what you recognize as a giant camera often used for movies or news reporters, and the other holding a microphone looking at you like they didn't trust you after you did something wrong.

But you just got here? How come you're already suspicious?

You offer a confused but friendly wave to them and the muttering only picked up. You could hear a couple of things like "the suspicious mirror person" and a question like "what is their ulterior motive??"

You go to clear your throat, attempting to speak and catching the twins attention 

"I….don't really have a motive? I mean-if i had one, I don't know?"

You offer a confused shrug and the one holding the microphone squints his eyes at you.

"How does Jim know, Jim can trust mirror spook?"

You bring a hand to your chin with an unsure hum. Dang, you're not sure how to continue. Maybe you can convince them to take you with them somehow?

"I…..I can make hot chocolate?"

"....go on?"

"I-I can cook! I'm a pretty decent chef with a lot of thing! A-and that's not all I'm good for! I know a lot of things about the wild plants and flora! A-and things you probably haven't even thought of yet! Including the secret of the chicken!"

The twins looked at each other at the last part, seeming to seriously consider what you just said 

"Give Jim a moment!"

The twins disappeared behind the corner they were hiding behind and you could hear a hushed conversation just quiet enough to be difficult to make out. 

You surveyed your surroundings a little more as you waited, admiring some flowers when the twins appeared again.

"Say what IS the secret of the chicken?"

You giggle slightly and lean in a little, making spooky fingers

"They're really blood thirsty monsters out to kill us all!"

The twins gasped

"I knew it!!"

You smiled but you kind of frowned after you realized that you gave away your bargaining chip. 

Surprisingly it seems that they hadn't noticed!

"Alright Mirror Spook! We're upgrading ypu to Friend of Jim! We're currently investigating the spooks of this house!"

"This house huh?"

You hummed, taking a better look around. Everything just looks so familiar. You think you know this place from the "who killed markiplier" series. You smirked, oh the irony

"I heard a mad man messed with something he shouldn't have and ended up killing his friends and family because of it!"

"Woah….what kind of things?"

The twins, who you've finally recognized as the Jim twins from Markiplier's egos have seems to have warmed up to you enough to be no longer hiding from behind the corner of the rotting old house. You found yourself smiling gleefully

"I hear it was voodoo and a deal with a being that latched itself onto the mansion itself"

Look….just because you're dumb….doesn't mean you're stupid. You've seen the videos that gave you stories to scare people with and lessons that you've listened and learned from. 

But if someone starts calling you the DA. You might have a problem. 

---------

Eventually the Jims had gathered enough footage of me telling ghost stories and showing the Jims around the manor itself, pretty much bull crapping the whole way through the tour as I had little knowledge of the giant manor outside of the wkm videos.

The Jim's didn't seem to mind though, as soon I was being driven away from that horrid place in the Jim's ride. I sighed to myself in relief as I saw it shrink in the distance. 

"So, friend of Jim! Mind if we called you MirrorJim?"

"Huh? Oh! No, I don't mind actually!"

Rather fitting tbh!

You leaned over to the front seat, addressing the Jim that wasn't driving.

"So Jim! What's the place you're staying at like?"

"It's HUUUGE!!! Many Jim live in manor, even some spooky Jims like yourself live there!"

"Spooky Jims??"

"Yeah yeah like the Glitch spook and the Static Spook!"

Static? Like on a TV….?

"What are they like?"

The camera Jim cringed

"Grumpy. They don't like each other and I think Glitch spook doesn't like anybody while the Static spook just seems to be angry all the time!"

The mic Jim spoke up

"Jim has seen Static Spook talking to himself before….in a mirror"

What is with him and mirrors..?

"Static spook was shouting too, like he expected an answer. I almost asked him what that was about before Jim decided that was a bad idea."

"Yeah, good idea. If anything, I can ask! I'm pretty good with people if I do say so myself!"

The Jims looked at each other before the one with the camera asked if you were completely sure about that, as even they didn't know if that was a good idea. You just waved them off

"Worse that happens is I'm scarred for life and avoid him for the rest of my living years!"

The Jims glanced at each other before giving in. All they can really do is warn you a couple of thousand times before you do something stupid and then record you doing said stupid thing. 

It's not like they could actually stop you after all. 

You arrived at the manor, you almost immediately getting a bad feeling about the place. It's different than the cursed one sure, yeah ok you were just in a haunted looking one. But this one….it sends a chill up your spine

The car was parked, you hesitating before deciding this was stupid and stepped out of the car. Nothing immediately happened and you released a nervous sigh. 

"Is MirrorJim ok?"

You looked to see MicJim, the one that was driving. looking at you, having noticed the nervous energy radiating off of you

"Just a little nervous. Believe it or not, This Spook has a bit of social anxiety"

You chuckled a little and the Jim nodded along

"Not to worry MirrorJim! The Jims are more in number than the spooks so if something goes wrong, we can outnumber them!"

That…...almost doesn't help. You smile anyways

"Thanks Jim."

The three of you got in through the back way since there was a door in the garage you parked in. You followed the Jims as quietly as you could as they tiptoed around the giant manor, recording everything they could. 

Things were going pretty good until the Jims opened the wrong door and pissed someone off. Apparently the Jims had confused their video room with Marvin's meditation room! 

"RUN!!!"

The three of you started screaming as you ran in the opposite direction of the room, angry shouting could be heard from the room.

"Quick Jim the squeaker!!!"

Squeaker? The CameraJim dug in his pockets before taking out a dog toy and squeaking it.

"Hold on MirrorJim!"

"Hold onto WHAT?"

Heavy footsteps shook the floor as all of a sudden a GIANT dog came running down the hall. You screamed but the Jim held no fear as they hopped onto the dog's back, dragging you with them as the dog continued to run around the halls randomly. 

You were screaming the entire time. Honestly the fear of falling off might overweigh the fear of confrontation. 

Eventually the screaming turned into nervous giggling, this was actually kind of fun if you ignored just about everything about the ride itself!

You passed many halls, including the living room and then the kitchen. You saw many egos, most of them you recognized to be either Jacksepticeye's or Markiplier's. There were also some random people there but the more you think about it, the more you think they were pizza delivery people. 

You wondered if they were having pizza tonight? 

A sharp whistle caught all of your attention as the dog suddenly turned around, heading to the beckoning call of her master

"Not good Jim! We need to get off!"

"What's wrong?"

"Static spook must've saw us! Abort mission!!"

"Wait WHAT?!"

You screamed once more as the Jims hopped off the dog, dragging you with them

"GIVE ME SOME KIND OF WARNING NEXT TIME. PLEASE!!!"

"Sorry MirrorJim! We had to act fast if we wanted MirrorJim to be a surprise!"

Oh so I'm a surprise now huh?

"You don't think the surprise was ruined if EVERYONE saw us riding the dog just now, do you?"

The Jims hummed, looking at each other.

"It IS possible."

"Naaaaahhhh! I mean who in their right mind would-"

"I KNEW IT!"

A familiar voice rang out down the hall, you turning around to see a face you didn't think would be so gosh darn happy to see you like an old friend. 

Wilford motherlovin warfstache himself, pink bubblegum hair and all

Wilford ran up to you, wrapping you into a bear hug and lifting you into the air

"Y/N!! I finally found you, you scamp! Where on earth did you run off to?!"

Oh boy. How does he know your name?

"We found Jim in a mirror!"

Wilford scoffed 

"A mirror! Y/N you mad lad, you were hiding in a mirror this whole time?"

"Hah hah...I kinda got stuck….the Jim's let me out"

"Did they now? Well Jims you have my sincerest gratitude!"

Wilford started walking away, dragging you with him.

"Uh Wil-"

"Come along now Y/N! I must show you to Damien! He will be SO happy to see you again!"

"D-Damien?"

"Well he goes by Dark now but it's still the same old Damien we know and love!"

On no…...Oh Nooooo!

He really thinks you're the DA doesn't he?!

This can only end badly! You're no DA, hell you can bearly stand People in general! 

You're dead meat. You looked back to the Jims with tears in your eyes. 

Pt1

[plush-anon]

SCOOB! Stream of Consciousness Review

Here we are folks - I finally review the originally cinematic, fully CGI animated Scooby Doo Movie (one year later... I did not queue this as I thought I had last June - damn you, Tumblr. I’m not changing much here, so enjoy as it was intended).

Created by a team who have professed their affection for this mystery team and their meddling dog too, will this be a lush experience fit to satisfy any Hanna-Barbera fan? Or will it be a hot garbage cash-grab, littered with Easter eggs and references that do nothing to hide a meatless mess of outdated memes and shallow character development?

LET’S

FIND

OUT

Below this cut is my entire stream-of-consciousness review on the SCOOB! Movie, as experienced. SPOILER warning here - I’m digging into everything, no plot points spared. 

Here we go~

And we start off with a decent shot of the California coastline (looks like the kids backstory is front and center), some 90s hip-hop synthwave song about California, and OH SWEET JESUS THESE MODELS LOOK TERRIBLE

Ahem

Yeah, this is a problem right off the bat - some of these people in the opening shots look remarkably unfinished - think three shades above “Rapsittie Kids: Believe in Santa” level - and the animation on them is less than stellar. 

On the plus side, we do see a fantastic variety of ages, sizes, and races - there’s a brief blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Sikh man on roller skates playing a sitar - but when the designs look rushed in the opening shots, it’s not a fantastic sign. At least they’re brief, but it’s hard to see if this is a lower level of the film’s style due to rushed animation, or if they didn’t care to polish it up as much, given that it’s maybe a 30 second scene. 

Still, kudos to actually going for variety in the crowd shots. Minus kudos to making most of the clothes look like Play-doh draped over a Barbie doll. I’m not even kidding on that one, the clothes are super basic and barely have any sign of texture or creasing or even fabric/cut variety. Almost reminds me of the first Toy Story movie’s design for human clothes, yeesh. 

----

Ahh, our first introduction to Scooby Doo at a Greek gyro food stand. That’s foreshadowing right there folks! 😉

Sadly, he is really weirdly animated in his run sequence - he looks out of proportion as he’s running on his hind legs, and the human animation has really bad consistency - some background characters are really janky, while others actually move really nicely. The characters we immediately focus on seem to be pretty smooth at least, but that’s still very strange.

On a side note: Ruby and Spears Sub Sandwich shop. Nice 😁

----

They are reaaaally pushing the super over-the-top dramatic music for a bike cop chasing a dog that stole gyro meat

Why

It’s not even interesting chase music, just generic super-hyped-up chase music

----

And now we finally get to see a young Shaggy, standing next to a tie-dye food stand called Casey’s Confections that… sells meat. Hm. Guess WB hasn’t learned after all these years 🙄

Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of the kid they got to play him, Iain Armitage. He’s not a bad voice actor by any means, but he just doesn’t sound right for Shaggy. I know that as a kid he’d be much less likely to have a cracking/squeaky voice, but he sounds… it’s hard to pin down a word, but - precocious? Darling? Either way it doesn’t quite match, especially given how Shaggy sounds when he grows up via Will Forte. Just… no connection there. 

I tie it down to the particular vocal twangs and nuances the gang usually has. I’ll touch base on that note later I think, once we hit the teenage versions of the gang, but for now I’m just not feeling it. 

----

On the one hand, I empathize deeply with Shaggy and his Spotify’s unsettling ability to pinpoint his insecurities with song choices, and also deeply enjoy that one small gesture where his fingers kind of shake & tighten around his phone while he takes a deep breath to calm himself- it’s a very nice, subtle sign of frustration

On the other hand we just passed two guys with no nipples and an unerring likeness to a Ken doll in those Barbie movies, so I’m distracted by that now

(between this and Fred’s no-nipples in Happy Halloween SD!, is WB just terrified of giving men nipples in animated movies now? what gives?)

Also distracted by the thrifty lesbians who bought those two shirts that come together to make a heart in the middle, on the store’s 2 for 1 day

happy pride y’all!

---

Finally got context for the two sand piles!

Very, very sad context, but still! Progress!

Basically Shaggy’s practicing talking to people in order to learn how to make friends, since he either has no idea how, or has never had a friend before. So he’s trying to learn the right way to do it since his own attempts have failed

And him talking to these sand piles not only counts as practice, but he’s using them so that his mom thinks he’s spending time with friends like he told her

Ow :)

---

So ketchup leather is apparently a thing that exists

I’m learning so much today!

---

Given that Shaggy has no friends at this stage, but he’s still called Shaggy, I’m kind of wondering if that was a mean nickname that everyone called him, but he was just grateful for the interaction/pretended it was from friends, so he kept it 🤔

Actually, take it back, his mother is calling him that. Family nickname, maybe…?

----

Shaggy has Blue Falcon (classic) and Dynomutt funko pops

noice

---

Oof, you can reaaaaally hear the age in Frank Welker’s Scooby voice. Can we get Scott Innes back? He sounds almost identical to his performance 20+ years ago :/

Also talking waaaay too much - even SDMI Scooby wasn’t this wordy, and he NEVER shut the hell up 

----

Okay wait

So Shaggy met Scooby on Halloween day - then met the rest of the gang hours later?

Huh. And here I was thinking it would have been a few weeks minimum 

Although I have to say there is a lot here to work with, if it paces out how I think it does

Shaggy meets Scooby. Bare hours later, he buys him a collar (instead of his mom? weird) and asks him to stay with him, despite not really knowing him. Then, only a couple hours after that, he finally makes some friends… but only when Scooby is with him. 

Given that it looks like the gang are all around the same age in the same neighborhood, there’s a solid chance that they’ve taken classes together at the same school. If none of them met/knew/made friends with Shaggy then, but only did so AFTER Scooby came into the picture, that might lead to the argument we know about later when they split up; afterwards, S&SD go to the bowling alley, then get abducted by the Blue Falcon, plot continues. This could make it seem like they were only friends with him at the start because he had a dog. 

And the brief scene earlier with the music device shows that he tries to tamp down on his anger/doesn’t really address it - could lead to something more later 

hmmmm 🤔

---

Wait what

These two kid bullies just came out of nowhere, stole Shaggy’s candy… and then started on about how Halloween is only a marketing ploy to get companies to rot your teeth and go to the dentist more, before throwing the bag through a window and telling the two that ‘your blood sugar will thank us for it!’

Are - are these the brainwashed children of a Karen? Is that what I’m seeing?

I mean we could have had a Red Herring cameo, but apparently informing children about candy conspiracy theories is more important :/

----

Daphne: It’s Halloween - no one should go home without their candy

FD&V: *none of them have candy/candy bags*

???????

(Wouldn’t it make more sense if the bullies had stolen their candy too? What the hey man)

----

I do find it neat that we actually get to SEE the wires the ‘ghost’ uses to fly in full effect - that’s actually pretty cool, and not really something we get to see up close in older Scooby shows. Most of those just have the bad guy randomly flying about, and the wires revealed after the fact 

---

Actually, given how FD&V react to this ghost almost immediately… have they already been solving mysteries? It seems like it, given how smoothly they move together to capture him

That’s kind of odd in kids. Like, even in PNSD they weren’t perfectly in-sync on stuff

This then leads to the gang solving mysteries together… in spite of the fact that all Shag and Scoob did was hide in the wardrobe that had the stolen goods, while FD&V captured the dude 

Granted, they do ask Shag and Scoob if they wanna join in and say yes, but that seems like an strange jump after what could have been a one-time deal

I just find that a touch odd - esp when they could have had a five minute scene or so of them wandering around the house, touching on some old SDWAY traits. Heck, show that they’re SCARED in some way, and don’t immediately move to tackle what looks like a murderous spirit at age 8-9 or so. Even just showing the kids learning about each other would be enough, but what do I know. I’ve only watched Scooby Doo everything since I was 4 🙄

---

Ahhhh, and now for the updated rendition of the theme song

Where they’re all still kids doing everything the teenage gang did in the theme song

It doesn’t look as good as the OG, though - kind of like a computer game simulating the SDWAY intro using the PNSD kids in CGI. It’s honestly strange to see, and a little jarring - especially when we then transition to the older teenage gang right in the middle

Like, we don’t get to see you guys age through the song as you’re chased by/catch different monsters? That could have been pretty neat honestly - shows how long they’ve been doing this

Tho I gotta admit, seeing the Spooky Space Kook with his OG sound effects is pretty awesome, brief as it waoH MY GOD FRED WHY ARE YOU HAVING A ROMANTIC BEACHSIDE DATE WITH THE MYSTERY MACHINE 

THAT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL AND NO ONE ELSE GETS A CHARACTER INSIGHT SHOT LIKE THIS

WHY

----

Huh, looks like Ruby & Spears gave up their subway sandwich shop for a coffee shop

That apparently the gang goes to in order to eat malt shop food

okay?

----

Ah, and here’s where we finally look at the voice acting of the older teenage gang. Buckle up folks, cause I gotta lot to say

We’ll start with Fred, bc honestly? I think Efron actually fits him pretty dang well. He’s got a different cadence from Welker, true, but as far as an update goes? I think he’s a solid fit. Very much in line with the all-American kid that Fred’s kind of been slated as for the past 50 years or so, but updated more for the modern perspective. I call it solid (and possibly a replacement for whenever Welker decides to retire). 

Next? Oof. Velma is, IMHO, the weakest casting. Velma, no matter her voice actress, has ALWAYS had some form of nasal twang to her voice - that’s part of what makes her Velma to begin with, and helps her stand out. Nicole Jaffe, Pat Stevens, BJ Ward, Christina Lange (PNSD), Mindy Cohn, Kate Micucci, Linda Cardellini -heck, even Haley Kiyoko from ‘The Mystery Begins’ and Sarah Gilman from the ‘Daphne and Velma’ movie understood this! They all had that nasal twang to their voice - differing between actresses, of course, but still recognizable as Velma. Gina Rodriguez though? Honestly, it just sounds like she’s acting it straight. Not bad acting at all, by any means - she just doesn’t sound like Velma, and doesn’t seem to be trying to. (Honestly wondering if she was only hired bc she voices Carmen Sandiego in the reboot cartoon for the lolz fun reference! type connection) 

Daphne is sort of similar in voices, but hers is more of a pitch her voice hits - Heather North, Mary Kay Bergman, and Grey Delisle Griffin all have that pitch they hit naturally when speaking. Amanda Seyfried? Does not - in fact, her voice is actually deeper than I was expecting - but it’s not quite as big a difference as it is for Velma. It fits her character type okay, and she does well with it overall.  

And finally, the most controversial one: Will Forte’s Shaggy. 

I’ll go ahead and say this: he’s not Scott Menville levels of bad Shaggy voice acting. If I were to place him on a list, I’d probably put him around Billy West level - kind of sounds similar via vocal tics (voice cracking, likes and zoinks, etc), but his own voice just overtakes the impression he’s seeking to hit. When I hear him speak, I don’t really hear Shaggy; I just hear Will Forte trying to do an impression of Shaggy. 

In comparison: when Scott Innes took over for Shaggy, it was like Casey Kasem’s, just a touch more of a twang to his voice and just a dash over-the-top - but it was still Shaggy, and you didn’t doubt that for a minute.

Same thing for Lillard, but maybe moreso - he was pretty much the most perfect casting for a live-action Shaggy there could be at the time Scooby Doo (2002) was made. Him taking over for Kasem from there made perfect sense: he was honestly the best cast Mystery Inc member of the live-actions, and a lot more recognizable to the general public as Shaggy than Scott Innes was. He could also do different emotions with Shaggy that not a lot of the other voice actors had the chance to do (mainly bc script), so for future stuff they have that flexibility, if they wanted to play around a little more. 

With any luck Forte will get better over the course of the movie, but honestly the casting could have been so much better with Matt Lillard and Kate Micucci. 

----

Shaggy Rogers, evading taxes since 2020

----

siMON COWELL??!? 

WHAT THE

WHY?!?!?

ALSO HIS CHARACTER DESIGN STYLE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GANG WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!!?

IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SD CELEBRITY CAMEO

LIKE

IF YOU WERE GOING TO DO A CAMEO FROM AMERICAN IDOL WHY NOT RYAN SEACREST 

HE TOOK OVER FOR CASEY KASEM ON THE AMERICAN TOP 40 WOULDN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE

aaauuuggghhh

---

Also he’s there as a potential investor in Mystery Inc as a detective agency

A music industry professional… is interested in funding a detective agency.

Like… did he miss out on Josie & the Pussycats? Is that why he’s here?

----

Wait a minute

Oh noooooo

I know why he’s here

I remember this spoiler

Shit

-----

And once again, here is your reminder to tell Simon Cowell a great big fcuk you

Only this time it’s for making Shaggy and Scooby feel worthless and saying that friendship is worthless and cannot be counted on for anything worthwhile

Simon Cowell: Professional Dickhead

---

Welp, at least this gives a solid reason why they leave: Simon Cowell was being a professional dickhead, and the gang didn’t really say anything against him or interrupt him on his whole ‘Shag and Scoob are worthless spiel’

Or, well... Daphne stepped up some, but more to say ‘they’re our friends!’ rather than ‘that’s entirely wrong, our friends aren’t worthless!’ Better than nothing, but yeesh

----

Ahhh, Takamoto Bowling - the emptiest bowling alley in the evenings this side of Coolsville 

(no seriously, the past few times my dad has taken my sister and me bowling pre-pandemic, no matter the day or time? it’s ALWAYS got more than 6 lanes of people there, what the heck)

Also Scooby wears three bowling shoes, which honestly makes more sense than I thought it would - that pup goes spinning and sliding every which way on a normal floor, bowling alley floors would be like ten times worse

----

here’s a nice little detail - when Scooby sees one of the bowling pins peek out with red eyes and he yells that to Shaggy, Shaggy actually squints and walks closer to see if it actually does have eyes

aww

----

Huh, okay 

Panicked Will Forte Shaggy actually sounds more like a good Shaggy voice than normal talking Will Forte Shaggy

I can dig it

---

Still kind of underwhelmed by the Shag and Scoob disguise scene - wouldn’t it make more sense to have them like, dish up hot sauce or something on a plate that nonsensically makes the robots overheat before they discover their ruse?

Idk, maybe they’re off their game after Simon ‘Dickhead’ Cowell

---

Carlton Way - must be named after Fred’s only other voice actor, Carlton Stevens of PNSD

Also Hanna’s Barber Shop is next to Barbera’s Pizza! Cute.

And… Pitstop’s Pink Perfume ad. Wait, who is that? *assorted googling noises*

...ahhh, Penelope Pitstop from Wacky Races! Who, according to Wikipedia, was revealed to have Greek ancestry in the 2016 Wacky Raceland comic book, having been born on the island of Aegina

Now I’m wondering if we’ll see her in this too, given Cerberus...

----

Honestly kind of fascinating to see the gang with a police radio in their van

Also fascinating to see that only main characters are allowed clothing variety and texture/creases/folds

---

it’s actually really sweet to see Fred, upon hearing that Shag and Scoob are likely in danger, immediately makes a 90 degree turn in traffic

---

It looks like they changes Dee Dee’s name a hair - now it’s Dee Dee Skyes, instead of Sykes

It works well for the Falcon aesthetic, so that’s cool

----

Shaggy, after Dee Dee tells them that Dastardly’s trying to kill them: Scoob, someone thinks we’re important enough to *mimes slitting throat*!

Scooby: It’s nice to be wanted.

Excellent! This movie has captured Shag and Scoob’s blasé attitude towards death! Now we’re onto a solid Scooby film :D

Dee Dee: Hmm, I hear that!

And they even have a friend to share in their attitude! Splendid!

----

Christ, I can work photoshop better than Blue Falcon can, and I don’t even know how to use photoshop

I will give major kudos on his costume tho - it maintains the important elements of the OG Falcon, while still updating it with more bird-related aesthetic, like the feathered appearance of parts of his costume, the split cape resembling the tail feathers, and the talon gauntlets & boots. neat!

---

Yooo, Dynomutt, I thought secret identities were still a thing with Superheroes, what the hey are you doing giving it out to a duo you literally just picked up behind a bowling alley

Ngl, I’m kinda hoping we get some scenes where Dynomutt messes up a little like in the OG cartoon - this one feels really serious, which is kind of strange

---

Okay now I want to see older!Blue Falcon come in for a cameo

Mainly bc I’m getting the feeling that this one is a major dumbass, and not in the fun and friendly himbo kind of way 😑

---

Wait, THAT’S our first look at Dastardly? That’s a bit abrupt, isn’t it?

Also his ship must be pumping thousands of gallons of toxins into the air, that smoke cloud looks hideous. Forget logging into his mom’s Netflix account like the trailer said, EPA should probably be hunting him for sport with a laser cannon, jesus fcuking christ

---

Honestly kinda want a plane you can pilot like a motorbike now

---

Welp, it looks like we have a fun, mustache-twirly, puns-aplenty, loves-to-be-bad kind of villain on our hands folks! This is gonna be FUN AS HECK

---

Eurgh, this scene - the super-stiff-but-stretched-out ‘yeeurgh’ faces really squick me for some reason, but I can’t really pinpoint why

---

I have decided I highly dislike the Brian Blue Falcon, or Brian Falcon for short, and would like to see Dastardly tie him to some railroad tracks

---

North St for Heather North, and… wait… Funland Carnival? Like where Charlie the Robot hung out?

Apparently that’s in Romania.

A very yellow-greenfilter Romania at that.

 Like, I’ve seen blue washes on movies trying to portray evening in the middle of the day so they don’t actually have to shoot at night, but yellow? That’s normally used for deserts and hot days and uhhh 

NOT for evenings in a country with landscape like THIS

odd

(I mean I guess they got the mountains and trees right, but still. Yellow filters make a place look arid, which Romania is Not, to my knowledge)

----

Dude, Brian Falcon is such an idiot even Shaggy and Scooby, commonly portrayed as the idiots of Mystery Inc, look at him like he’s a moron.

(They are Not Amused.)

Also Brian Falcon is an absolute coward. That’s new. Even Shaggy and Scooby face off against the robots directly in a Whack-a-Mole game and destroy some. Dude, get your head in the fcuking game already, yikes

--

Woah, Laff-a-Lympics, Wacky Races, Hex Girls, The Banana Splits, Penelope Pitstop, Space Stars, Posse Impossible, and Hong Kong Phooey easter eggs in one shot

Geezus

--- 

Another nice moment: when cornered by Dastardly, Shaggy moves to stand in front of Scooby to protect him

---

Dastardly (to Shaggy): I don’t care about YOU. You’re not REMOTELY important!

*proceeds to shoot Shaggy THROUGH the ceiling and up into the highest car on a Ferris Wheel where Brian Falcon is hiding like a man baby*

Welp, so much for a fun and zany villain. Time for this Plush Anon to kill a bitch *cocks shotgun*

I will, too - kudos to the animators for hurting me so badly with the face Shaggy made right before being shot because

OW

---

Ehehehhehe, yess, the infamous ‘Dick’ scene

Dastardly: No, I’m a DICK. With a D!

You sure are, you sack of dildos with a D!

This scene had to be put in on purpose - if this had been released in theaters, I just know the adults would be dying in laughter 🤣🤣🤣

----

Shaggy: Brian, do something! 

Brian Falcon: Like what?

Shaggy: Like, drop some F-Bombs!

love it 😂

---

Is it like movie law now, that if there’s an action scene with a Ferris Wheel in the background, it has to fall off and roll down a mild incline like a wheel? Because it kinda feels like it

---

Aha! Dastardly said his drats! Perfection.

Now to shoot him through a ceiling to make them matter even more :D

---

OOF. 

Well that hurt. 

Poor Shaggy - basically internalizing now that he’s the worthless one and weak link of the group now that Scooby is considered more important

---

Holy fcuk I’m crying

Shaggy just broke Brian Falcon down to his deepest insecurities without even trying while talking to him

He even used the words ‘imposter syndrome’ 

Shaggy hon, you’re the best

----

Oh hey, Fred, Daphne, and Velma! It’s been a while since we saw you guys again, what are you doing?

Arguing about the metric system and realizing that Shaggy and Scooby reminding them to eat periodically helped them keep a clearer head...

And using the word ‘hangry’.

But then looking through a ridiculously cute photo album of the two and a video the gang took together (the video is honestly really heckin’ cute, 10000/10 would recommend)...

And then getting pulled over so Fred can have a brief ‘oo-la-la’ montage about the pretty blonde cop who honest-to-gods looks like a Barbie doll.

Where Daphne then describes how ugly Dastardly is...

Right before the petite blonde cop who’s maybe like 5’7” at best rips off her outfit to reveal it was Dick Dastardly this entire time, all 7ish feet of him.

And then kidnaps them all along with the Mystery Machine while he makes terribly fun dorky puns

…

...SO BACK TO SCOOBY AND SHAGGY...

---

...where Scooby is making kissy faces in the mirror while wearing his Blue Falcon uniform

Hrm, that’s not really better is it

We actually see Shaggy reading (OG) Blue Falcon’s autobiography, and making hurt but snide comments about Scooby’s ego

Which are actually pretty clever tbh

-----

Cooooooongratulations, Fred Jones! You are now officially a full-on himbo!

----

Alas, poor Daphne. While your knowledge of the tropes of your show might have served you well in other places, this was to be a theatrical release once upon a time, and so such knowledge falls to ruin.

----

You know, I just realized - we’re never really told HOW the Cerberus skulls work, both in how each skull can be used to find the others,  and, presumably, in releasing Cerberus itself. We’re given a brief glance-over of Scooby’s ancestry (and I mean REALLY damn brief), and a quick mention that these are supposed to be Cerberus’ skulls being stolen, but… that’s it. Nothing else is given. 

Now, I read the first few chapters of my SCOOB! Junior Novelization, and it actually went into further detail about the skulls themselves and what Dastardly’s initial plan was early in the book - open the gates of Hades and obtain the seas of treasure therein. It acted as an introduction both to the climatic endgame we’ll face at the end of the movie, and to Dastardly, who uses the same disguise trick he used as the Barbie cop when he stole the first one in South America. 

(They actually DID plan to use this as Dastardly’s intro, but cut this… 3 minute scene for time. Yeah. See below video for the details - honestly think they should have kept it in. Saves time later and definitely more show than tell, compared to what we got)

I feel like that would be a better introduction to him than the one we got - hell, it would have fit in quite neatly after the revamped theme song montage. They could have the scene with Dastardly finding/stealing the first skull as an introduction (as above), then have him answer a call or something. Exposit openly “You found the key! Excellent! Now where are we going next?” 

THEN cut to the diner/coffee shop scene we had earlier. We still wouldn’t know exactly what the key was/entailed off the bat, and they could still have FD&V find out on their own - maybe by hacking the little robot instead? IDK.

---

The final skull is on Messick Mountain.

Cute.

On a side note, I do love how Dastardly’s ship interior looks - very dieselpunk

---

Velma just hacked into Dynomutt… somehow, and I finally get my wacky Dynomutt shenanigans!  Hazoo!

...sadly that was really dang brief. Realistic, yes, but still too brief. 

---

Eyyyy, we finally get the whys of why Scooby is needed! … really dang fast. 

Also Fred says Jinkies. 

----

Hey, Muttley popped up! In a shrine… to his demise… that we find out he reached when Dastardly pushed him forward into the Underworld to steal the treasure of Alexander the Great in a portal he rigged up… only for both of them to find out it was a one-way deal unless they used the key to be able to come back. The key, of course, being Scooby Doo, descendent of Peritas, Alexander’s dog. 

Eh, workable enough-ish. It’s interesting to see that Dastardly, despite how much he disliked Muttley in the older cartoons, still cares about him to a certain extent. 

---

Pfff, Fred’s a poor man’s Hemsworth XD

---

Sweet, we’re in ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ now!

---

Um

O W W W

You guys really had to do the ‘me or them’ thing with Shaggy and Scooby… and tHeN hAvE sCoObY cHoOsE tHe FaLcONs?!? Just because they said he was important as “the key” and gave him a spandex costume.

Over at least 7 years of friendship. 

Booooooooooooo

---

actually no I’m Not Done Yet

This whole scene is a mess.

Like

Shaggy’s turn was really dang fast… but I can still see how he gets to it. It’s at least a day between Scooby being chosen as a pseudo-sidekick and the island arrival, during which Shaggy’s talk with the main adult (who has taken up the mantle of his favorite superhero) essentially confirms his feelings of worthlessness and leaves him to stew for HOURS on end (on top of another adult, Dastardly, who also calls him “not even REMOTELY important” at the carnival before freaKING SHOOTING HIM THROUGH THE CEILING NO I AM NOT OVER THIS). Tie that to a teenager who also believes his only friends have come to think he’s meaningless baggage, and suddenly his entire support system is vanishing underneath him to one of his former idols without ANY sign of hesitation from Scooby’s part (with the exception of the collar scene, but I don’t think that that means the same to Scooby, given how quickly he bounces back)

Scooby tho… hrm. It could be that he’s clinging to the good feelings Brian Falcon inspires in him (by choosing him as the next possible Dynomutt), as a way to overpower how FD&V hurt him, while also building on how he came to love the duo because SHAGGY loved them so much. But the movie doesn’t frame that up… at all?? At least compared to Shaggy. 

Idk, maybe I’m missing something, but this scene is a mess through and through

Boooooo

----

Scooby: *tries to leap into Brian Falcon’s arms like he did with Shaggy but falls*

Brian: Uh, what are you doing?

Scooby: Rhaggy never missed. 

Damn straight he didn’t

---

oh hey, it’s Captain Caveman

I was wondering when we’d see him.

---

AAAUUGGHH

It’s that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene from the trailers I sobbed over - the one with Shaggy holding Scooby’s collar

Fun fact it actuALLY FADES INTO THE FLASHBACK

THAT WAS NOT A TRAILER THING THAT’S ACTUALLY HERE IN THE MOVIE

OW

---

Oh No

Fred is here, alone, after that whole scene with Dastardly saying he had a use for Fred

...while that’s likely Dastardly in a Fred suit (that sounds creepy just typing it), I’m still going to enjoy this brief but absolutely lovely hug Shaggy and Fred share...

(seriously tho, look at this, it’s a genuinely close, squish-your-lungs-out kind of hug, I love it)

...as well as Shaggy, who's still hurt from his fight with Scooby, immediately gearing up to go help him after hearing Dastardly’s trying to kidnap him.

----

Brian Falcon and Scooby Doo now have to take on Captain Caveman in gladiatorial combat in order to claim the final skull of Cerberus

I love cartoons sometimes

----

Captain Caveman just put the smackdown on Brian Falcon and punched him into the ground up to his CHEST

Then smacked him so far into a wall he cracked the stone around him!

GodDAMN is this satisfying 😆 altho minor question here: how did he gain the rank of Captain? Do cavepeople have a naval force?

---

He just whirled Scooby around his head, then spun him so fast his costume broke off

I may have to look into some Captain Caveman stuff now, that’s fantastic

---

Shaggy and Fred - sorry, “Fred” -  just smashed through to the colosseum in the Mystery Machine

And Dynomutt just fired missiles at Captain Caveman to smash him into an Amigara-shaped hole of himself

I REALLY love cartoons sometimes

---

Oh No

Just as Shaggy starts trying to apologize, “Fred” kicks him in the back, rips off his disguise to normal Dastardly self, and kidnaps Scooby atop the skull, before revealing he destroyed the Falcon Fury jet

New tagline for this movie? Shaggy Rogers and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

...at least the rest of the gang is back together?

---

Brian Falcon: *Immediately tries to blame Shaggy for inadvertently leading Dastardly to them, while storming up to get in his face*

Fred: *upon realizing BrianF is blaming Shaggy for everything, without a SINGLE moment’s hesitation, immediately leaps in to defend Shaggy and physically push back Brian Falcon several feet*

We stan one Himbo, theydies and gentlethem

Also?

Velma (sneering): What kind of hero blames other people for his problems? *Walks over to comfort Shaggy with Daphne, while Shaggy looks dumbfounded they’re defending him bc he also blames himself for Scooby’s kidnapping*

This. This right here, is the kind of Mystery gang content I wanna see.

I don’t care how the rest of this movie goes now, this scene right here is ambrosia to the Scooby fan’s soul, and therefore makes this entire movie worth it, outdated memes, lingo, and all

---

Cackling rn - Fred and Brian Falcon are in a point-off a la the Spiderman meme 😂

or, more specifically, the post-credits sequence of Spiderverse where they’re arguing about who started pointing first

It gets better when Velma and Daphne try to pull each other off of their pushing fight, and Velma grumbles “Toxic Masculinity” I’m crying

---

WOAH

More super Shaggy stuff here (apart from being flung through a building roof without a scratch) - he pushes apart both groups effortless, and even knocks them back several feet

If we estimate Dynomutt as… we’ll say 450 since he’s made of metal, Falcon at 220, Dee Dee at 160, that’s about 830 lbs on one side

Then Fred, Daphne and Velma on the other (hmm, 180, 150, 130?) would be around 460 lbs

Dang boi

---

Oh honey no, it’s not your fault

But dang if he didn’t get a good message from it, one I’ve done my best to transcribe here:

“I was afraid that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby Doo is my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I’m gonna keep that promise! Now it’s time we stopped that mustachioed menace from opening the gates to the {underworld} and letting loose that fearsome {Cerberus}. So what do you say we get out {of here}, and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back? Who’s with me?”

Honestly not a bad message for kids. Things will change, people will change, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. (Obvs real life exceptions apply, but that’s not a bad note honestly)

...shame that that conclusion comes right the FUCK outta nowhere

Like

How, exactly, did he come to this conclusion? WHEN? What inspired him to realize this, what was the impetus for this specific line of thought, that it’s okay for friends to change?

It kinda feels like this should have been either the happy ending speech given after they’ve saved the world, or one at the start of the third act, like if Shaggy arrives when Scooby thinks he’s chased him away and ruined everything, and Shaggy & the gang still save him. And Scooby asks him why he did that - when Scooby tried to change himself to fit what Brian Falcon wanted, instead of treasuring the friend he still had, or maybe why Shaggy reacted the way he did. THEN Shaggy gives the speech we hear, a la:

“I yelled at you because… like, because I was scared. I was scared that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that YOU’RE my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I mean to keep it!” 

At least that would make a little more sense to me. Again, not a bad speech, but a little rearranging would help to really hit home. 

---

Okay, now we’re back with Dastardly in Greece, and suddenly the background people all look MILES better than the ones at the start of the movie. Did they just forget to polish the first two minutes of film, what the heck?

Also, Dastardly’s ship is literally the entire length of the Greek ruins presented o_O

---

HOLY SHIT THE SKULLS TURNED BACK TIME AND MADE THE RUINS INTO AN ENTIRELY RESTORED PALACE WITH THE GATES OF THE UNDERWORLD BEFORE THEM

They’re also colored a very atmospheric neon arrangement that’s surprisingly quite tasteful ^.^

----

The Mystery Machine can fly now!!! eeheeheeeheeheeheeheeee

----

And so we finally see Cerberus, a massive, towering figure with sharp teeth and pffffffhahahhahaa why are all three heads wearing Spartan helmets

To its credit, they’re also wearing basic body armor, wrist guards, tail spikes, etc, but the helmets are killing me 🤣 who thought to stick that onto the dog? Did Hades forget to remove the armor after winning the Gods’ Pet Costume Contest, or was it like that horse in the ATV costume - it felt safer so it didn’t let anyone take it off?

Or was this a precaution against Herakles coming back? These are questions - hilarious, hilarious questions 😁

---

Awww. Scooby immediately runs to the battered Mystery Machine to rip the doors open for the gang!

And… wait. THIS is where that wonderful hug was in the trailers? I thought that was at the end of the movie when everyone was safe!

This now does not bode well. But we’ll worry about that later. Time to enjoy this gorgeous wonderful hug of the entire gang, and Shag and Scoob apologizing to each other for fighting 🥰

Yet another scene to make the rest of this movie worth the rest

(halfway wanna frame this shit and put it on the wall, it’s that lovely)

----

Fantastic! Dastardly is now in Hell, where I’ve been wishing him this entire movie! :D

And dang… he actually apologizes to what he believes is a dead Muttley. Who is, naturally, snickering at all of this. The two bicker predictably, but eventually hug and make up, too happy to see each other to resort to old habits. Honestly a nice little scene, all-in-all. 

---

Back to the gang and they’re doing the glowy eyes in the dark bit! I actually haven’t seen that in a Scooby movie forever, it’s neat.

Also Fred is now going full Liam Neeson over his van, war paint and all, using the tire cover as a shield and… holy shit. 

HOLY SHIT

THE ASCOT IS BAAAnnnnnd it’s gone. Boy, that was… short. 

Fred just ran full-tilt at Cerberus, screaming like a mad man, before getting flicked away by its big toe, and losing the ascot and makeshift shield. It punched so hard his facepaint came off

It was fun while it lasted y’all

---

Heyyy, Shag and Scoob just came up with the plan, and it’s actually solid! I’m so proud, and so is the rest of the gang! Also willingly going to distract Cerberus while the rest figure out how to close the gate and stuff Cerberus back in

I love my boys 😊

---

Annnnd there goes Brian Falcon like the coward he is

To… call his dad? And admit he isn’t a hero.

Only for Dynomutt to point out Shaggy and Scooby are taking him on and are terrified. 

This then cuts to Shaggy and Scooby running around in a chariot and gladiator wear, running back and forth a la the door gag from Cerberus to the OG SDWAY theme

I think I love this movie

(although they’re hinting at Dynomutt being resentful of OG Blue Falcon essentially abandoning him to his incompetent son, and I really wish it had been touched upon more

that’s actually rather heartbreaking, when you stop to think about it, and there’s a lot that could be done with an additional two minutes of screentime) 

---

Huh, another good message for kids: it’s okay to fail and be scared, so long as you keep going and try to do what’s right.

Two good messages for kids in one movie. Not too shabby, on the whole. 

---

Brian Falcon just flew in and punched the three-headed dog, then jumped into its mouth as it tried to eat Scooby, resisted the MASSIVE JAW STRENGTH, and got them out of there safe and sound

Finally, something heroic!

-- 

I was wondering where Dastardly and Muttley got off to - apparently they’re off to take a money bath.

Aight

---

Shag and Scoob have now convinced the Rotten Robots to turn into bowling balls to knock Cerberus off their feet a la the classic marbles pratfall back into the underworld

That is a sentence I just wrote

----

OH FCUK NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT NO

YOU ARE TELLING US THAT AFTER ALL OF THIS - ALL OF THIS - ONE OF THEM HAS TO STAY IN THE UNDERWORLD TO LOCK THE GATE

THAT OCTOBER LEAKER WAS RIGHT WHAT THE HELL

LITERALLY SO

I mean i know its a kids film specifically Scooby Doo so happy ending but what the literal FUCK

---

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHHH

SHAGGY NOOOO

“Buddy, back when we were kids, you saved me. Now, it’s my turn.”

and he dOES THIS WHILE HOLDING SCOOBY’S HEAD TENDERLY IN HIS HANDS

AND WHEN EVERYTHING REVERTS IT’S JUST RUBBLE AND RUIN AND SCOOBY’S LEFT SOBBING OPENLY AT NOTHING

AND THE GANG ALL COME TO CLING AT HIM AND CRY OVER THEIR FRIEND WHO THOUGHT HE WAS WORTHLESS MOST OF THE MOVIE AND THOUGH THAT THE GANG THOUGHT THE SAME ABOUT HIM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH

---

WELP, TIME TO COPE WITH INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR

Shaggy: I yelled at my dog, got him kidnapped, and ended up helping the bad guy to open the gates to Hell. Guess I’ll die. 

Dee Dee: Well actually, this is more Dastardly’s fault because -

Shaggy, yelling as he slams his hand against the lock: GUESS I’LL DIE!!!

----

Ah, so the writers wrote themselves into a corner, and the only way out was a Deus Ex Machina (at least, I think I’m using that term correctly…) 

Because to get Shaggy back, a giant statue of Alexander the Great and Peritas appears out of nowhere - literally, since it definitely wasn’t there before - with an inscription Scooby has to read to get Shaggy back.

This would have been a lot more effective if we’d seen it when Dastardly arrived in Greece - maybe even as the marker for where the gate to the Underworld was. Have Alexander facing one way, and Peritas facing the other. You open the gate on Alexander’s side, and come home on Peritas’ side. Having this unfold into the gate gives it more purpose than “magically appears right the fcuk outta nowehere” and you could have a pun with the “backdoor” escape. Everybody wins!

And if that’s too good for ya, how about a brief lingering shot by it at some point as Dastardly flies into Greece, behind where the gate materializes, or directly across from it on the plaza? Maybe have one of the gang kick it after Shaggy leaves, and say ‘This is all your fault! Why would you make something like this?’

It’d still be a magical contrivance, but at least it would make some fcuking SENSE.

(Granted it DID lead to this hilariously ominous shot, so maybe I shouldn’t complain:)

---

Velma: I finally figured out what you guys are! You’re the heart of Mystery Inc.

Me: YEAH BABY! *flips over table* I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT SHIT FOR YEARS AND NOW, I’M FCUKING VALIDATED AT LAAAAAAAAST!

----

Shaggy: *rips off Dastardly’s face to reveal…*

ALL: SIMON COWELL??!?

Me, choking on food: I’m sorry WHAT?!?!?

Velma: *takes off mask again to reveal*

ALL: DICK DASTARDLY?!?

Dastardly: Drat! No one ever goes for the double unmasking. 

So I was right all along - Simon Cowell truly was a Dick this entire time.

-----

And so we close on the gang unveiling a Mystery Machine paint job on their official detective agency building, Brian Falcon living the good life as the DJ at their party, the Falcon team gifting a sleek new Mystery Machine to the gang (which honestly looks pretty unique - it’s not the classic, but it is something new that isn’t awful, so kudos there), and the gang on their way to another mystery.

So, at the end of the day is this a good Scooby movie? 

Meh? *waves hand in meh motion* But it definitely had its moments. 

This Scooby film is flawed as heck, no doubt about it - the plot has a MAJOR problem with telling instead of showing, some parts feeling out of order or WAY too short, and of course the deus ex machina ending. I honestly would have loved some more time for their first mystery as kids, where we actually got more character moments/bonding from Fred, Daphne, and Velma as they solved it the more traditional route, as well as not framing FD&V as super duper mystery solvers right off the bat??? 

The stuff with Blue Falcon isn’t AWFUL, per se, but it is ridiculously satisfying to see him get smacked around. Captain Caveman was honestly one of the funniest bits in the movie, same with Dynomutt. 

As far as the character stuff? It all felt fairly natural, progression-wise. Shag and Scoob don’t have this big break-up with the gang - they’re hurt by the literal Dickhead’s comments the gang don’t speak up against, and go to blow off some steam together. Shag and Scoob don’t have this giant blow-up argument - it builds over the film into a hurt spat they both recognize they overreacted to almost immediately. The gang (FDV) go looking for them almost as soon as they leave, and, upon hearing they’re in danger, turn and head towards them to save them, realizing how important the two are to Mystery Inc along the way. They defend each other, help each other, have some of the Best Dang Animated Mystery Inc hugs I ever did see - THIS feels more like the Gang I’ve been waiting for forever to come back to DTV (and in a rough sense, did). While I do wish we’d gotten more screen time of FD&V, what we got wasn’t too bad. 

Weirdly enough, at the end of the day, I’ve actually grown more accustomed to Forte’s Shaggy - it feels like it fits this different style a touch more than I originally thought, and holy hell if I didn’t come close to tears at that ending gate scene, he knocked that one out of the park.  Velma still doesn’t feel much like Velma, but I did get used to it by the end. I kept cracking up at Efron’s Fred, and no complaints on Seyfried’s Daphne.

Jason Isaacs as Dick Dastardly absolutely killed it. Blue Falcon Crew was okay (excepting Mark “The Racist” Wahlburg - it was just him talking, no real effort. You could recognize Wahlburg right off the bat, acting as a goofy douche) and freaking Captain Caveman was awesome. Apparently they combined both Billy West and Don Messick’s recordings for Muttley (awesome!!!), so this may very well be Don Messick’s final role in a Scooby Doo film. 

It got off to a rough start, but ended well enough. The animation was solid, the writing has some unexpectedly clever and funny moments sprinkled throughout, with some pretty fun action sequences on the side. Watching this, I really do believe that the people working on it love Scooby Doo and all things Hanna-Barbera… at least in their own way. 

I ended up buying this instead of just renting it ($5 more, why not) and I am honestly glad I did so. Despite its flaws, it has some great moments with the gang as friends, and I have been Craving That Shit for DECADES

And if these writers/directors ever did another Scooby film? I think I’d be up for giving them a chance - at least so long as we got some more absolutely BEAUTIFUL hugs with the gang

I hope you enjoyed this stream-of-consciousness reaction to SCOOB! (2020)... a whole ass year LATER, admittedly (I didn’t switch my Save Post to Queue, curse my hubris), but hopefully y’all’ve been entertained. Good night everybody!

[franstastic-ideas]

I’m Telling the Tooth!

Underfell AU - Sans’s gold tooth gets knocked out during a physical confrontation with a rude human. Unfortunately for him, this means a trip to the dentist’s, and Asgore isn’t the only monster that feels uneasy about dental work. Anesthesia is required for the procedure, and when he wakes up, he makes a lot of loving claims about her that Frisk can’t really believe are true. He says he likes her. He really likes her. He loves her. He wants to marry her. He’s skipping more than a few integral steps of the courting process.

Word Count: 15,829

Warnings: An attempted kidnapping and assault, one instance of a minor curse word, and at one point late into the story it seems as though the narrative will begin to veer into themes of suicide.

Other than that, this is pure fluff with a small spoonful of angst.

It had began as what was supposed to have been a relatively simple shopping trip at the local mall.

 But it had ended as anything but that.

 Frisk had taken the skeleton brothers along with her because they insisted on tagging along, telling her they had some errands to run as well. Except the two had never been out in public quite like this since coming to the surface and they stuck by her like baby chicks to their mother. After about an hour of this, she had finally managed to squeeze away from them long enough to use the restroom.

 It was after she exited the restroom and was finding her way back that the trouble began.

 “Hey. You. Pretty girl.”

 She continued walking; whoever it was that spoke had obviously not been speaking to her.

 “Hey, I’m talking to you. Where you going, baby?” A man with a somewhat muscular build abruptly stepped out from his hiding place and in front of her, blocking her way with a smile and a gleam in his eye that made her insides churn with unease.

 “Um, I…” Even after her adventures in the Underground, she still wasn’t good at dealing with confrontation.

 But then again, she knew that monsters really were different than humans. The monsters she had dealt with on her journey had been at times violent, hateful, and rude, but so were a sizable portion of humans. The grand difference between them was, the monsters had understandable reasons for their unscrupulous behavior. Humans, more often than not, didn’t need a reason.

 And Frisk never liked to judge anyone by their appearance or judge to quickly on the first impression, but she could tell from a single glance and the manner in which that one question was said that this man was nothing but a troublemaking creep.

 She needed to get away from this guy, maybe alert someone of her presence, but didn’t it just figure that he would approach her when next to no one was around?

 “How about you and I go somewhere quiet together, huh?”

 He reached out to touch her, perhaps take her by the arm, but she quickly sidestepped him.

 “Leave me alone.” She gave him the most disinterested glare that she could muster, but he had the gaul to laugh at her.

 “Oh, you’re a feisty girl! I like that. It’s no fun when they don’t fight back a little.”

 She’d had enough of this nonsense. Frisk slipped past him, but she didn’t get very far before her arm was grabbed harshly, fingernails digging painfully into the flesh and her entire body was yanked backwards and pressed roughly into his chest. She thrashed and squirmed furiously, attempting to kick, bite, punch and scratch to escape his grip with little results. He laughed cruelly at her, his other hand reaching over to clench her shoulder tightly with enough force that she was certain it would leave more bruises. She took a breath, ready to shout for help, but he clamped his other hand over her mouth and hissed,

 “You try to scream, and I’ll snap your neck right here.” This man definitely had the build to do so, and she didn’t want to find out if he was bluffing or not. “Now when I move my hand, are you going to try to scream?”

 She furiously shook her head, her heart and SOUL thumping wildly in her chest out of fear.

 “Good girl. Now, you’re gonna pretend that you’re my girl. So quit squirming around and looking so miserable before people start staring. You’ve got an awfully pretty face, and it’d be a shame if you forced me to break it.”

 Once he removed his hand from her mouth, it shifted to her now aching shoulder, to her back, all the way down her spine, and then the small of her back. Thankfully, he didn’t get to move his hand any lower before…

 Frisk heard her captor let out a pained yowl and she was immediately released. Disentangling herself from the loose hold around her that remained, she came face to face with one of the skeletons she had left behind just minutes earlier in another part of the store. Sans had caught the man’s wandering hand and was bending it backwards at an angle that was sure to be uncomfortable.

 “now, i understand more than anybody that babydoll here’s got a gorgeous rear view…” Frisk would have normally scolded him for such a crude statement, but the sheer venom in his voice had shocked her into silence for the moment. “but, that don’t mean you can jus’ go and grab her anywhere any ol’ way you like.”

 Sans began twisting his arm as if it had the same flexible properties as rubber, his expression appearing at first glance to be the very image of calmness, but the anger bubbling underneath and in his tone was eerily evident if one were to take another look. Normally, he allowed his expressions to twist and fluctuate with his emotions. Normally, he permitted his volume to gradually rise and fall along with his temper. Sans’s expression, an uncomfortably wide toothy smile accompanied by violently trembling red pinpricks which served as his pupils that were just barely visible in the blackness of his large eye sockets still seemed far too relaxed, and his words were spoken in an intonation that seemed far too soft for him to use in this particular situation. It was a tranquil fury, a type of anger that was entirely foreign to him, and Frisk couldn’t recall ever having seen him this enraged before in her somewhat short, but incredibly eventful time of knowing Sans. And this terrifying display of emotion was brought about entirely due to concern over her wellbeing.

 “sweethearts like her need to be treated sweetly, and gently…”

 They both could hear the slight creaking sound coming from the man’s wrist. Frisk was aware of how ironic it was that he was twisting and flailing around in the same fashion as she had previously in his attempts to free himself from Sans’s grip. She wondered when it was that the man would turn to violence, but she didn’t have to ponder this thought long before he stopped struggling and balled his free hand into a fist. He swung at Sans’s face, right between the eyes, but the skeleton dodged it with ease. Sans had let go of his wrist, but rather than run, the man was instead looking for a fight, and it seemed her monster friend was more than willing to comply with his foolish wishes.

 Frisk was torn between leaving the scene to find Papyrus and staying to see how things between the two turned out. She knew there was no use in trying to end the skirmish herself - she could ease Sans out of a dispute herself whenever one arose with some kindness, gentle persuasion, and determination, but he was out for blood and beyond reasoning with.

 Sans was taking this personally; that man had his filthy hands all over his sweetheart, and Sans had been anticipating the first sign of aggression he could find so he could have an excuse to retaliate.

 In the end, either option wasn’t possible for Frisk. A crowd of shoppers had paused in their browsing to gather and watch the impending strife, and she had become trapped among the mass of people. She couldn’t see what was happening anymore due to her height, and she couldn’t move past them to find Papyrus either. She hoped that Papyrus would eventually notice the sudden absence of shoppers in whatever store he was currently in if not the surrounding chaos and intervene himself.

 Once the fight had began, the man couldn’t seem to land any hits on Sans; the skeleton ducked, dodged, and swerved out of every punch thrown his way and then Sans would take advantage of any openings left to inflict damage himself. He didn’t need to use any magic – laws had been recently created limiting the use of monster’s magic in public, but it wasn’t like he cared anything about that. Sans could wipe the floor with him without relying on his supernatural powers, and that was exactly one of the pieces of information about himself he was making abundantly clear. The next being that Frisk was his human, and this particular human was gonna pay for treating her like some sort of cheap toy that was meant to break.

 Eventually, though, Sans grew weary. Not tired, just bored. His opponent’s attacks were far too predictable. He couldn’t just walk away from an important fight like this, though, so he resolved to be creative to keep things interesting. So at some point during the fight, Sans pulled out a pair of glasses from his hoodie pocket that he had taken from somewhere when he had briefly teleported mid-dodge, being most likely unpaid for (they still had the price tag displayed on the frames), and put them on. He even had enough time and plenty to spare to tape them to his skull so they wouldn’t fall off.

 “you wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would ya?”

 MISS

 “you couldn’t hit a guy with glasses!”

 MISS

 He was actively messing with the man now. He almost would have felt a twinge of sympathy for him if he hadn’t rough-handled Frisk and wasn’t a complete creep that was caught preying on women when they were alone. Sans could understand the manly desire to display some aggressive romantic advances, but he paid particular attention to and had learned how to pick up on the mood of his lady and knew when to really back off when his flirting wasn’t appreciated. This human needed to be taught his place, and that the beating he was being put through was just a gentle warning compared to what would have happened if Sans hadn’t shown up when he did.

 Frisk had finally managed to wiggle herself towards the front of the clamoring audience, cupping her hands around her mouth and shouting over their whoops and howls,

 “Sans!”

 “yeah, dolly?” His tone was casual but still attentive, not turning his head towards her when he spoke as he leapt away from another swing of the man’s fist.

 She wanted to tell him to stop, that the guy wasn’t worth it, and Sans could get into trouble with the law for what he was doing even though he had initially only been trying to defend her. Instead, she found herself asking,

 “How did you even get here so fast?!”

 “i was lookin’ for ya.”

 “I was gone for five minutes!”

 “which was four minutes and thirty seconds too long ta be without ya.”

 Ever since they had left the Underground, Sans had practically been attached to her at the hip. She barely had a moment to herself anymore. Papyrus and some of her other monster friends were similar in wanting to occupy all of her time, but none of them could even hold a candle to Sans.

 Frisk remembered when this possessive streak of his first began to show itself; he had stopped her in the Judgement Hall, begging, pleading with her not to leave them – not to leave him. Only two foreseeable fates lied in front of her then should she continue with the last leg of her journey; defeat Asgore and return to the surface, or be killed continuously by the king of monsters. Sans was one of the select few that knew of the true nature behind her temporal powers, but it didn’t matter to him if she could simply load after each of her demises. He didn’t want Asgore to kill her and he didn’t want her to go somewhere where he would never see her again.

 She had made him care again, and then she was going to leave him.

 He had finally relented and allowed her passage, but he wouldn’t let her go without a fight. He would never take her life like all the other monsters had, no, but Sans was determined to keep her with him, and he would do anything within his power to make that possible. With each instance he dropped her HP down to 1, he would then incapacitate her and carry Frisk all the way back to Snowdin, muttering how this was for the best and what he was doing was done out of love. This process repeated, over and over again, an uncountable number of times, until finally she had learned to predict his attack patterns and in turn caused him to use up his magic until he was near ready to collapse.

 She could have ran past him and left him there, a screaming sobbing wreck, but she didn’t. She had taken that opportunity to instead comfort him, reassure him that he and everyone else wouldn’t be trapped Underground forever and she would do everything to ensure that they would one day reach the surface. His expression then told her he didn’t believe her, but he had reluctantly let her go.

 Frisk was the catalyst for everything good that has happened recently in his life; he and Papyrus making up after several years’ worth of senseless arguments and hurling petty insults towards each other, Alphys and Undyne finally speaking to each other as equals when both were too caught up in their pride to do so, Mettaton and Napstablook apologizing to each other first in private then on live television, thus putting their past estrangement behind them… Frisk was responsible for it all.

 And now she had granted him and every other monster a life of freedom here on the surface, just as she had promised.

 She was important to him, and she knew that, but Frisk couldn’t even begin to fathom just how much value her life and happiness truly meant to Sans.

 So much so that sometimes it nearly drove him mad.

 The throng then began to shuffle around boisterously with the action, some laughing at Sans’s antics while pushing and shoving each other to get a better view of the spectacle. Someone standing next to Frisk elbowed her a bit too hard in the ribs and she accidentally let out a yelp.

 Sans immediately froze, his focus drawn away from the fight as he whipped his head towards the direction he heard Frisk cry out, but couldn’t see her.

 “sweetheart?”

 That was all the hesitation his opponent needed; the man he had been walloping for the past five minutes took this moment to strike Sans directly in the mouth, probably because he had been taunting and insulting him throughout the entirety of the match. Sans stumbled backwards, moving one hand to hold the affected area and felt something wet there – pulling his hand back revealed it was stained with red magic, his own magic.

 If he still had a mere HP value of 1, that would have killed him.

 The idiot, the absolute buffoon, then made the fatal mistake of gloating over his accomplishment, one successful strike against the monster compared to the dozens Sans had effectively delivered, but he was instantly silenced when Sans reeled back and punched him just as hard in the solar plexus, sending the man hurtling towards the ground. He fell, and it didn’t look like he would be getting back up anytime soon.

 Ignoring his pain and the garbage on the floor, Sans bolted towards the crowd and began tossing people aside haphazardly and without care until he found Frisk. He took her face in his large skeletal hands and pulled her close, wobbling eyelights worriedly searching her form for any signs of injury.

 “babydoll! you okay? i heard you shout.”

 “Yes, I’m fine. Someone just accidentally elbowed me a little too hard in all the excitement…” She then gasped, eyes wide and hands clasped over her own mouth. “Oh my stars! Sans! Y-Your tooth!”

 “my wha-” He then ran his glowing red tongue, made of magic, over his teeth and noticed one was missing – his gold one.

 “That piece of-” He growled, wrapping one protective arm around Frisk in case the man woke up again to harass them as he scanned the floor for his missing tooth.

 It didn’t take long for him to find it, the deep lustrous yellow contrasting against the marble white of the floor. He picked it up and pocketed it, still clinging to Frisk as he did so. Once that was done, his attention was instantly shifted back onto her.

 He took her by the hands, rubbing soothing little circles with his bony thumbs over her knuckles. “sweetheart, ‘m so sorry i was late... did that walking mixture of crap and raw sewage hurt you?!”

 When she had been grabbed, it certainly hadn’t felt good, but after taking in the complete thrashing Sans had given to her assailant, she wasn’t sure if mentioning the bruises that were forming on her skin was a wise idea for fear of what more he might do.

 That man wasn’t worth Sans losing his freedom over, she thought.

 However, before she could respond, Sans’s hands glided carefully up her arms to rest on her shoulders, phalanges delicately grazing over where she had been seized earlier, and Frisk automatically flinched. Her reaction was enough of an answer for Sans.

 “i’m gonna kill him.”

 “Sans, please don’t-”

 “i really mean it. i’m gonna. but first, i’ll castrate him. right here.”

 “Sans, he’s not worth it!”

 “he hurt you, and then he tried to touch you. and if i hadn’t shown up when i did, he would have. he’s scum.”

 Thankfully, before Sans could carry out his threat, Papyrus had finally made his appearance. His sudden arrival was enough to stop his brother in his tracks as he strode up to them with a look of vexation, arms crossed and appearing ready to put Sans on the receiving end of a brutal tongue lashing for being at the center of such pandemonium.

 “OUR FIRST TRIP INSIDE A HUMAN MARKET, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN STAY OUT OF TROUBLE FOR TEN MINUTES WITHOUT ME CONSTANTLY HOVERING OVER YOU. I WOULD ASK IF YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF SHAME IF I WERE LESS INTELLIGENT AND DIDN’T ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER.”

 “D-Do you know him?!” The man was apparently conscious again, but he couldn’t move around much; he couldn’t even sit up properly.

 “AND WHO IS THIS?” Papyrus questioned as he gestured to him boredly.

 The man then pointed to Sans, attempting to play the victim – the only ones that knew the truth of what had transpired were him, Frisk, and Sans. He was in front of an entire mob, and if this other skeleton didn’t believe him, then the human members of the crowd almost certainly would over the word of a monster.

 He didn’t even get the chance to plead his case before being interrupted by an enraged Sans that already knew what he was trying to do.

 “This lunatic tried to-”

 “i caught this pervert about to grope frisk!”

 Well that got Papyrus’s attention.

 “and before that, ‘m pretty sure he bruised her up! she flinched hard when i touched her shoulders checkin’ over for any damage!”

 Papyrus’s already narrowed sockets thinned to slits, his heels clacking thunderously against the floor as he closed the distance between them, snatching the man by the front of his shirt and lifting him up with a single arm. Sans’s height was somewhere in the area of six feet, but Papyrus was a seven foot tall, extremely intimidating skeleton monster; so Frisk’s would-be kidnapper was dangling almost two feet off the ground and was at the mercy of a being that had only just recently learned and had a clumsy grasp on the definition of the word.

 Papyrus didn’t say a word as he suddenly summoned a large and heavy bone nearly the size of himself, lifted it with his free hand as if it were weightless, then slammed it over the man’s head. He didn’t even get to let out an ‘ow’ before he was out cold once again.

 “He’s going to get brain damage at this rate…” Frisk said, her blatant display of concern for her aggressor shouldn’t have shocked the brothers in the slightest considering her compassionate and forgiving nature, but it did.

 “AND YOUR POINT IS…? IT’S NOT AS THOUGH HE WAS USING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.” Papyrus scoffed, dismissing his bone-based attack he had used as a makeshift club.

 “gotta agree with my bro here, babydoll. moron should’a used what few brain cells he had and backed off when he had the chance.”

 Sans and Papyrus were not finished with him in the slightest, she realized. But before the two could concoct more ways to injure the man further, for the third instance that day, a timely arrival, this time of the police, kept her from having to play the role of the ineffectual peacemaker.

 “All right! All right! Break it up! Nothing to see here! That’s right, get moving! You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here!”

 After convincing the gathered people in the area to disperse, the pair of officers suited in blue, a man and a woman, then approached the three. Much to Frisk’s relief, they didn’t appear to be upset with any of them, and she had been so sure that they were here to arrest her two delinquent monster companions. Rather, they swooped in to apprehend the man lying unconscious on the floor of the mall from where Papyrus had clubbed him.

 “We’ve been trying to catch this guy for weeks.” The lady officer, Nina Sanchez explained once the officers had successfully carted the man away and the air around them had began to calm. “He landed himself on our wanted list for multiple charges of sexual harassment, threatening behavior, stalking, and attempted abduction. And now we have to add minor assault to that list.”

 “he was gonna try to take my baby away…” Sans quietly muttered into Frisk’s neck; the shorter of the two skeletons was curled up to her side as they sat on a nearby bench, his arms locked firmly around her as if she would disappear into nothing if he loosened his hold by even the slightest amount.

 “We’re going to make sure he stays behind bars for a long time.” The other officer, Duke Durland, continued. “He didn’t succeed in kidnapping or causing any serious harm to any of the women he’s interacted with, but the intent was still there and crystal clear. He needs to be punished by being locked away where he can’t bother anyone anymore.”

 “I ASSURE YOU; I AM MORE THAN CAPABLE OF DOLING OUT A FAR MORE APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT.” Papyrus was all too eager to propose.

 “I understand that you’re angry over your lady friend being targeted,” He went on, attempting to pacify him. “but up here on the surface, it’s the job of officers and the court to deal with criminals.”

 “And that means no vigilantism.” Frisk was quick to add.

 “BUT YOU CLEARLY DON’T UNDERSTAND – I WAS VICE-CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD IN THE UNDERGROUND, SO I’M ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT I CURRENTLY HOLD THE CREDENTIALS NEEDED IN ORDER TO DELIVER PROPER RETRIBUTION UPON TRANSGRESSORS OF THE LAW!”

 “Papy, that’s not how it works…” Frisk patted his skeletal arm, urging him to sit down on the bench next to her and Sans; he complied with an almost childish pout, crossing his arms as he did so. “Forgive him. His comprehension of surface world laws is still a work in progress. Back where he came from, if somebody had a problem with someone else, then they settled it between themselves – usually with violence...”

 “Oh, you don’t have to tell me that.” Duke laughed heartily, “I have some monster friends of my own, and there isn’t a single dull moment with them around!”

 “I thought for sure the two of you had shown up to arrest them or kick us out.”

 “On normal circumstances, we would have had to,” Nina nodded in her direction, “But you saved the both of us a lot of trouble in hunting this guy down, and your boyfriend here was in the right to react as he did. …Well, maybe not by starting a full-blown fist fight in a public mall, but we checked the security cameras and the court of law would say he was acting in self-defense and defending another party, in this case, you.”

 “Thank you for being so lenient and considerate, but… he’s not my boyfriend.” Frisk awkwardly chuckled, having tried to wiggle out of Sans’s death grip on multiple occasions throughout the conversation, but failing each time. She eventually just sighed in defeat and reached up to pat the top of his skull.

 “Oh, I’m sorry… I’m usually good at picking up on things like that.” Nina apologized, but she took a quick glance at the skeleton currently latched onto Frisk and noticed that his grin had slipped just slightly.

 “It’s alright. A lot of people say the same thing about us.”

 “Uh-huh…” The lady officer allowed her gaze to fall on Sans again and he looked even more glum than a few seconds prior. “Anyway, onto a more pressing matter – your friend lost a tooth in the scuffle, correct?”

 Sans nodded, not willing to dig in his pockets to present his severed tooth if it meant letting go of Frisk.

 “HOW LOVELY. THIS MEANS A TRIP TO THE DENTIST; YOU KNOW THAT, DON’T YOU?” Papyrus’s tone was unenthusiastic and dry as he turned to his brother, and Frisk felt Sans flinch.

 “bro, w-we can’t go. we don’t got the cash for that.”

 “Actually, if the payment to fix your tooth problem is an issue, we can easily have it arranged that the perpetrator pay for the procedure out of his own pocket.” Nina offered, “He won’t be needing any of that money when he’s in prison, and it’s not like he can, oh say, go to the mall to buy anything, now can he?”

 “That sounds perfect!” Frisk eagerly replied, the amount of silver linings of this situation gradually revealing themselves had yet ceased continuing to surprise her. “What’s your verdict, Co-Captain of the Royal Guard, Papyrus?”

 “HMMM, I CAN FIND NO REASON TO OBJECT.”

 “does what i think or feel not mean anythin’ to any of ya?!”

 “NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST. NOW HURRY UP AND GET TO THE CAR! WE NEED TO GET THERE BEFORE THIS TRIP THROWS OFF OUR SCHEDULE FOR THIS EVENING EVEN MORE THAN IT ALREADY HAS!”

 Sans let out a noise that sounded like a mixture between an annoyed grumble and a soft whine but obeyed his brother’s command without protest, dragging his feet as he followed Papyrus’s longer strides out of the building.

 “You two would make a really cute couple, though.” Duke commented before Frisk left to catch up with them.

 “I’m surprised you would say something like that. Most people look at human and monster relationships as… you know…”

 “Heh, it might surprise you to hear someone say this directly, but I’m glad you brought the monsters to the surface. I never would have met my girlfriend otherwise, Miss Ambassador.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m dating a bunny lady right now. She used to run a store in a town in the Underground called Snowdin. …I hope to one day call her my wife.”

 “It makes me glad to hear you two are happy together.” Frisk found herself smiling; it was rare for her to encounter humans that were so open about their tolerance or admiration for the monsters.

 “You should probably get going now; your, uh, not boyfriend was shaking like a leaf when he heard the word ‘dentist’.”

 “Yeah, he was. I never would have thought of him as the type to freak out over something like that, but… I better go with them. Just in case.”

 She would have tagged along anyway even if Sans had been completely unfazed by Papyrus’s declaration, but if he really was frightened about the visit then her presence might help to ease his fears and provide moral support, even if only by a small amount.

 When she had caught up to them, they were already at Papyrus’s car, a sleek black sportscar with painted on hot rod flames, and its owner was already buckled up and behind the wheel. Sans, however, was having difficulty with his own buckle as his hands were shaking too hard.

 “OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE – STOP BEING SUCH A BABYBONES!”

 Papyrus was swiftly losing his patience and his temper.

 “Here, I’ll help.” Frisk crawled in the back seat and fastened the buckle for him, their hands brushing over each other’s for a few seconds as she fumbled with the safety apparatus.

 “…thanks.” His reply sounded choked to her.

 “HUMAN FRISK, STOP SPOILING SANS BY COMPLETING TASKS FOR HIM THAT HE’S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF ACCOMPLISHING FOR HIMSELF. HE MAY BE MY BABY BROTHER, BUT HE IS NOT THAT INCOMPETENT. NOW CEASE YOUR LOLLYGAGGING IMMEDIATELY AND GET UP HERE WITH ME!”

 “Alright, alright. Yes, your vice-captain of the royal guardship.”

 “DON’T TEST MY ALREADY DWINDLING FORBEARANCE, FRISK. THIS IS JUST AS STRESSFUL FOR ME AS IT IS FOR MY BROTHER, I CAN ASSURE YOU.”

 “Why so?” She inquired as she buckled herself in and the engine roared to life.

 “YOU’LL FIND OUT AFTER WE GET THERE.”

 “It would be really helpful of you to let me know now.”

 “UGH, FINE. WHEN SANS LOST HIS ORIGINAL TOOTH AND BEFORE HE OBTAINED HIS GOLD ONE, HE WAS EXTREMELY PANICKED AT THE THOUGHT OF HAVING SOMEONE MESS AROUND WITH HIS MOUTH. YOU ARE PERFECTLY AWARE OF HOW EVERYDAY LIFE WAS FOR MONSTERS IN THE UNDERGROUND – A DENTAL PROCEDURE WOULD PUT HIM IN A STATE OF VULNERABILITY, AND HE WOULD HAVE TO COMPLETELY TRUST THE ONE PERFORMING THE PROCEDURE NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT.”

 “I guess that feeling of uncertainty is still with him, even though he knows there isn’t in any danger of that happening here...”

 “THERE’S MORE TO IT THAN THAT – ANESTHESIA WAS REQUIRED THEN, AND I DOUBT THAT IT WILL BE ANY DIFFERENT HERE IN THE PRESENT AND ON THE SURFACE. AND OTHER THAN THE THOUGHT OF HIM FALLING ASLEEP AND NEVER WAKING UP PLAGUING HIS MIND, HIS BEHAVIOR UPON AWAKENING IN THE PAST WAS… INDESCRIBABLE.”

 “‘m right here. ya can stop talkin’ like ‘m not.”

 “I’m sorry, Sans!” She squeaked, now acknowledging that she had been effectively ignoring him and was additionally asking Papyrus intrusive and probably embarrassing questions about himself. “Listen, I know the needle will be scary, but it’ll all be over before you even know it and then you can go home. I had to get my wisdom teeth removed before and it was finished in an hour, but you won’t even need to get stitches-”

 “stop it.” He nearly growled before taking a deep, shuddery breath and his tone shifting to one that sounded less dangerous and more annoyed. “i know yer tryin’ ta help, but i’d rather jus’ not think about it ‘til we actually get there.”

 “Ok… I understand.” Frisk tried not to show the hurt in her own tone as she replied, “I just thought that you might need a little reassurance since you seemed nervous...”

 “…”

 “you ass. now look at what you did – she’s sad now.” He inwardly began to berate himself. “that little frown on those pretty pink lips is your fault, all you. this is why you don’t even deserve to share the same space as her, much less think you’ll ever be good enough to be the kind of man she needs.”

 He looked out the window and watched the scenery roll by in silence, feeling even worse than he had previously.

 And after about five minutes of pure silence, Papyrus suddenly spoke up.

 “I NEGLECTED TO MENTION THIS BEFORE, FRISK, BUT IS NOW AN UNOPPORTUNE MOMENT TO INFORM YOU THAT I WON’T BE THERE TO SUPERVISE SANS ONCE THE PROCEDURE IS FINISHED?”

 “what?!” “What?!”

 “I WON’T BE THERE TO SUPERVISE SANS ONCE THE PROCEDURE IS FINISHED.”

 “Yes, we heard that the first time, but why?!”

 “I AM TO ACCOMPANY CAPTAIN UNDYNE, HER MAJESTY, QUEEN TORIEL AND HIS MAJESTY, KING ASGORE, TO AN IMPORTANT MEETING DISCUSSING MONSTERS AND THEIR FUTURE ON THE SURFACE. WE ARE TO, UNACCOMPANIED AND UNAIDED BY YOU, OUR AMBASSADOR, PRESENT PROOF THAT WE ARE NOT MENACES TO SOCIETY. AND IF THE HUMAN OFFICIALS WERE TO CATCH WIND OF WHAT OCCURRED IN THE MALL BACK THERE, I LOATHE TO THINK IT MAY IN TURN CAUSE TROUBLE FOR THE REST OF MONSTERKIND; EVEN THOUGH SANS DID, FOR ONCE, ACT OUT IN A MANNER THAT WAS ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE FOR THE GIVEN SITUATION.”

 “i still wanna castrate him, though.”

 “AS DO I, BUT IF WE WISH TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE OUR LIVES ON THE SURFACE IN RELATIVE PEACE, WE HAVE TO COMPLY WITH THE LAWS OF THIS LAND AND LEAVE HIS FATE UP TO THE HUMANS AND CONSEQUENTLY THEIR UNSUPERIOR AND BORING METHODS OF DISTRIBUTING JUSTICE.”

 “The two of you scare me sometimes…”

 “AH, BUT DON’T YOU FEEL SO INCREDIBLY LOVED BEARING THE KNOWLEDGE THAT ONE INCREDIBLY HANDSOME SKELETON AND ANOTHER OF SUB-PAR ATTRACTIVENESS BY COMPARISON WOULD BE WILLING TO SHED BLOOD IN YOUR NAME?”

 “Not really…”

 “HMPH. VERY WELL, THEN. IF IT TRULY DISPLEASES YOU SO, THEN MY BROTHER AND I WILL DO OUR BEST TO KEEP DISCUSSION OF HYPOTHETICAL BLOODSHED TO THE MINIMUM FROM THIS POINT ONWARD.”

 “Please do. I’d appreciate it if the both of you wouldn’t try to find creative ways to get yourselves locked away in prison.”

 “wait just a sec: if pap an’ i did go to prison though, we could beat up that guy for ya! can’t get in ta trouble and thrown in the slammer for beatin’ the snot out of a guy if we’re already in there.”

 “YOU MAY HAVE A POINT, SANS! THERE’S A TOLL BOOTH UP AHEAD; I’LL GO THROUGH IT WITHOUT PAYING AND SEE IF THE AUTHORITIES NOTICE AND PULL US OVER.”

 “No! Neither of you are going to prison if I can help it!”

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 It wasn’t long after they arrived at the dentist’s office that Sans’s name was called, the skeleton shuffling out of the waiting room like a man sentenced to death row on his way to his own execution. He hadn’t uttered a word since they got here, his posture ramrod stiff, but the greatest sign of the discomfort he felt was noticeable in his eyes – his red eyelights had shrunken down to quivering microscopic pinpricks.

 Frisk was surprised that he hadn’t began to rattle; when skeletons felt a great amount of excitement, anger, or fear, sometimes their bones would clatter against each other in response. And the only reason she knew this was because of their confrontation in the Judgement Hall – the entire duration of their one-sided fight, the sound of his bones continuously and violently clinking together echoed throughout the space around them with trepidation at the thought of her leaving the Underground forever. It was the first and so far only time she had heard the noise, and she hoped that should she ever hear it again, it would be from happiness.

 Sans had snapped at her during the car ride when she tried to comfort him, so she was left feeling useless and her company unneeded. However, when Sans’s name was called, he instinctively grabbed her by the wrist.

 He had wanted to hold her hand.

 He held no issue with grabbing her by the hands or nearly anywhere else when he was flirting, but in his time of emotional insecurity, Sans couldn’t allow himself to be put into a position that would reveal what he discerned as his inner weakness. He wanted Frisk to see him as her big, scary skeleton monster bodyguard. How was she supposed to perceive him that way if he was getting his shorts twisted over something as simple as a visit to the dentist’s?

 He was both proud and ashamed of the look he gave her before he stood up; Sans managed to reign control over his eyelights for a few seconds, willing them to go back to normal long enough to stare her in the eyes with all the intensity he held within.

 Sans looked at Frisk like she was his entire world and this may be the last time he would ever see her.

 And it very well may be the last time they see each other; what if the office was filled with monster hating bigots, and when he went under he never woke up again, and then the entire incident would be ruled as a misfortunate accident and swept under the rug along with his dust? Sans loved sleep, but the thought of being forced into an eternal slumber was enough to paralyze him, and every single bone in his body went rigid once the needle came into view.

 Frisk and Papyrus were in the waiting room for nearly an hour afterward before a nurse came over to tell them he was almost ready to be taken home. The taller skeleton nudged Frisk along towards the direction the nurse pointed out, his face turned away from her with a light redness dusting his sharp cheekbones.

 “YOU NEED TO BE THE FIRST THING HE SEES WHEN HE REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS. I WOULD ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE IN THIS SITUATION.”

 She wanted to argue that his claim wasn’t true, that the familiarity of Papyrus’s presence would reassure Sans far more than her own, but his tone had sounded so convinced and final that she didn’t push the issue. Frisk followed the nurse to the back room where the dentist himself greeted them before allowing her to see Sans. He went over the things that she might need to be cautious over and what to expect in the next few hours, but she also wanted to know about his current emotional wellbeing.

 “How did it go? His reaction, I mean.” She asked with a twinge of unease.

 “Just fine. A little bit of cursing when the needle went in, but then he was out like a light. He should be waking up any moment now.”

 Another nurse popped in directly after his statement, “Actually, the patient woke up just now and he’s acting… emotional.”

 When Frisk heard the word ‘emotional’ pass her lips, she had expected a large-scale, curse-ridden tantrum from the skeleton. What she didn’t expect to find was Sans nearly curled up in his seat, quietly sniffling as tears ran down his cheekbones like miniature waterfalls. He looked so lost, so terrified, and so vulnerable… It was utterly heartbreaking and pulled at her SOUL in ways she couldn’t even begin to describe.

 She understood now why Papyrus had wanted her to see him first; Papyrus did love his brother, but he couldn’t handle his more softhearted outbursts. For years, the pair had grown up believing that to show tears was a sign of fragility, a stamp of death in a kill or be killed world, and it was only after the two met Frisk that they became more receptive towards the notion of openly expressing feelings that were unrelated to rage. Sans didn’t cry often, but whenever he did, his brother still didn’t know how to deal with it in the slightest. So it was because he loved his younger brother that Papyrus decided to pass him onto Frisk’s more tender care.

 “Sans…?” She maintained a soft volume as she approached, not wanting to startle him.

 His head immediately whipped up at the sound of her voice, far too quickly to not have been painful, she thought, and his eyesockets went near impossibly wide as if he couldn’t believe she was really here. Those red eyelights then began to swell, almost filling the entirety of the dark space they occupied.

 “y-you came for me…” He whispered, his words slurred but still intelligible.

 “Of course I did. I would never leave you, Sans.” She delicately reached over to stroke the crown of his skull and this seemed to placate him somewhat, his flow of tears beginning to slow.

 Sans had dreamed while he slept.

 It was a dark dream. He had been taken somewhere pitch black and couldn’t see or hear anything. It was The Void, he was certain; a place monsters occasionally spoke of, mostly respected, and always feared. No one knew just how one would cross over to this place, but it was said that once one entered there was no escape. And for Sans, being there even while inside the relative safety of a dream was a complete nightmare. There was nowhere and nothing, time and space no longer existed, and with nobody to speak to, he was left with only his thoughts to keep him company. He was far, far away from Frisk and his brother, and he just knew he would never see either of them again.

 So when he opened his eye sockets to find himself in a world of sound and color once more, he had first been overcome with relief. But then his blurred senses couldn’t detect a single sign of Frisk’s existence within immediate reach, nor his brother’s, and that was enough for him to feel as though he were dropped back into another nightmare realm. Her presence and words brought him a great deal of comfort and eased his frightened and weary SOUL; she had told him what he had wanted to hear always, that she would never leave him – if this too was another figment of his imagination, then he didn’t want to wake up if it meant being forced to live in a world without her.

 Sans gave her a lopsided grin with his newly reattached golden tooth, content now that she was here before him, safe and within his reach. He wrapped his arms around the limb of hers closest to him, wanting nothing more than to cuddle his precious human. But she needed to go tell Papyrus that he was awake so his brother could help her guide the stocky skeleton to the car, and he was extremely reluctant to allow her to leave his sight for even that.

 “Sans, I’m just going to get your brother. You know, Papyrus? I’ll be right back. I’m not going anywhere far, just into the next room.”

 He squeezed her hand, gazing up at her with wobbly eyelights. “p-promise…? promise me you’ll come back.”

 “I promise.” She used her free hand to stroke his left cheek, and he leaned into her palm, lifting up his own to rest over hers and press himself further into her touch.

 He reluctantly permitted her to leave only after placing a clumsy kiss against her fingers as they slipped out of his hold.

 The dentist stepped into the room directly after, preparing for his last patient for the day and making it easier for Sans to get up when his escorts came by adjusting the chair. As he scurried around the room doing this and that, Sans suddenly became talkative.

 “didja see that girl i was with?”

 “Yes, you mean Ms. Frisk, the ambassador? Is she a friend of yours?”

 “yeah, she is. she’s my best friend in the whooooole world besides my brother.” He swayed around happily in his seat with a carefree giggle. “and i’m gonna marry her one day, but she doesn’t know that yet.”

 It took every ounce of his willpower for the dentist to not laugh and retain his professionalism; he saw dozens of patients a week that had their fair share of interesting and amusing things to say while under the influence of the anesthesia, but Sans was behaving so innocently and had spoken so fondly of the human in his company that it was enough to melt the old man’s heart.

 “Getting married is an important step in a committed relationship, so wouldn’t it be a good idea to let her know how you feel?”

 His eye sockets widened. “you’re right…! i-i do need to tell her! i need to tell her right now!”

 He then attempted to wiggle out of his chair to find Frisk himself instead of patiently waiting for her to return. The only thing that prevented him from tumbling out and falling flat onto his face was the dentist’s swift movement of grabbing him by the shoulders to steady him, then carefully easing Sans back into his previous position while scolding him on his recklessness as if he were a misbehaving toddler. The six-foot-tall skeleton then slumped backwards with a pout, his preceding lovesick expression screwing into one of annoyance.

 When Frisk eventually did return with Papyrus, as they lead him out the back door and towards the car that was parked just outside, she couldn’t understand why the dentist was looking at her, smiling and chuckling to himself as if she were missing out on an inside joke or something of the sort. Sans must have said something really special for a professional that saw this sort of behavior daily to react in such a way. She nearly shuddered to think what nonsensical statements a mind such as his could have assembled while in this state.

 She assisted Sans in buckling him in the back seat as she did before. He practically begged Frisk to sit next to him, but she politely declined. He was acting so loopy that it was taking all of her self-control not to laugh at some of his drunken antics and articulations. He might take her laughter the wrong way and accidentally have his feelings hurt, since he seemed to be far more sensitive when he was like this.

 Sans was also incredibly chatty while high, she learned quickly.

 Every single thing that popped into his head was evidently broadcasted to his captive audience of two. And most of what was said were things that would certainly embarrass him if anyone else aside from the pair heard them. Sans could most likely brush aside anything that occurred here with them later, but right now he was rattling off puns that made no sense and jokes without punchlines, and Frisk also made the mental note that he was acting incredibly and uncharacteristically sappy. She wondered if this was what Papyrus had meant when he mentioned his behavior being indescribable.

 Indescribable was certainly one word for it.

 “frisk. ey, frisk? frisky~”

 “Yes, Sans?” She sighed for what felt like the fifth time in the past three minutes.

 “has anyone ever told you your hair is really pretty…?”

 “Sometimes…?”

 “well, it is, and no matter how many times ya may of heard so already, it still don’t get said enough. it’s… really really pretty. like, it’s all soft and it smells nice. skeletons don’t have all that soft stuff on our heads, you know. and i know i probably reek of mustard all the dang time, so… it’s really different. it’s nice.”

 “Thank you, that’s really sweet of you to say.”

 “no no no, you’re the one that’s sweet. you-your trait is determination, and i admired that about ya a lot from the moment we first met, but, b-but you have so much kindness in your SOUL that sometimes it’s a lil’ overwhelming... i didn’t understand that back then, but i do kinda have an idea now and i appreciate it so much… i appreciate you so much, frisk.”

 “I appreciate you too, Sans. You’re a good friend.”

 “no ‘m not. ‘m always causin’ trouble for ya. because of me, people look at ya funny on the street an’ they start ta talk. they’ll look at ya anyways without me there ‘cause yer too pretty not to talk about an’ look at, but i make ‘em look at ya an’ talk in the bad way. it’s all my fault.”

 “No, none of that is your fault, Sans. If those people are going to look down on me because you’re my friend, then I don’t want those same individuals to be looking at me in a positive light during the rare times you’re not standing next to me. And besides, staring is rude.”

 “but-but what about when i look at ya? does that mean i can’t ever look at ya again because it’s rude? i can’t do that – you’re too cute to ignore. even fer a little bit. i can’t help it. i just gotta look at ya, all the time-”

 “Alright, alright! I’ll make a special exception for you – you’re the only one that’s allowed to stare at me, Sans. On occasion.”

 “AHEM.”

 “Ok, you’re given an exception too, Papyrus…”

 “THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, AS I’M CERTAIN YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY FLATTERED TO BE THE OBJECT OF MY ATTENTIONS?”

 “Sure…”

 “‘asides, if i don’t always look at ya, then what’ll happen if someone decides to take ya away?”

 “That won’t happen-”

 “but it could! and it almost did just today! d-don’t you remember at all?! y-you were there! my baby almost got taken away from me forever…”

 She heard him let out a soft sob in the back seat and Papyrus shot her an unimpressed glance, mouthing out the words that she was still somehow able to decipher despite him not having lips, ‘SAY SOMETHING TO HIM…’

 “B-But it didn’t, Sans! You showed up at just the right moment when I really needed you! …I feel fortunate to have someone in my life that takes such an active interest in watching over my wellbeing.”

 And that was the truth. Before she befriended the occupants of the Underground, Frisk’s life had been barely acknowledged by those around her, and those that did pay her any mind gave her the sort of heed that she nor anyone would want; tormentors, perverts, thugs; those were the only sort of people that gave her quiet existence any notice… So when the monsters that entered her life began showing signs of appreciating, reciprocating, and even actively vying for her attention, Frisk had secretly felt incredibly flattered and somewhat ashamedly relished it. For once in her life, she finally felt important to not only someone, but several someones. But now that the inner bliss of those occasions had begun to fade and the consequences of their extreme behavior, particularly Sans’s, had come about, she was much less thrilled over the dramatic and even sometimes possessive in nature gestures and displays that were frequently presented to her.

 These monsters had gone so long without expressing love for another, they didn’t know how to anymore without going entirely overboard with it.

 And that’s exactly what Sans was doing currently – going completely, utterly, and not-so gracefully swan-diving-into-the-water overboard with showing his affections for her.

 Sans was flirtatious by nature, and she knew he didn’t mean to indicate interest in initiating a serious romantic relationship with the recipient of his sweet words, recurring caresses, and terms of endearment, especially whenever they were directed towards her - because that’s just who Sans was. And he had absolutely no filter even without the involvement of anesthesia and little understandings of personal space, most likely because he was raised in and exposed to a violent upbringing and environment. So with him there existed a thin line between when either a positive or negative touch, depending on the mood set of the situation, was appropriate at any given time. He would throw his arms around her and nuzzle the pulse point of her neck with the tip of his nasal ridge just as swiftly and eagerly as he would throw a punch to someone on the street that had personally wronged him in some shape or form.

 Sans was the living definition of the expression and phrase, ‘all or nothing’ and ‘go big or go home’.

 “aww… i feel lucky ta have ya too, sweetheart.” His cooing was slurred, and Frisk imagined the dopey grin he must be wearing as he swayed around as he spoke – the mental image was enough to bring a smile to her own lips. “yer always so nice and sweet ta everyone, even me. …that’s why i love ya.”

 Before Frisk could utter a single word or even the slightest sound, they had pulled up at a traffic light, the car pulling to a stop with a loud screech.

 How appropriate.

 After a long and uncomfortable silence, she slowly turned her head towards Papyrus, but he wasn’t looking at her. His gloved fingers were clutched tightly to the steering wheel and he was staring straight ahead of them at the vehicle-infested road.

 “…I LOATHE DRIVING AT THIS HOUR.” Was all he said, his voice noticeably more faint than usual and a near imperceptible tremble discernable in his tone.

 The quietness around them stretched on. The only things that could be heard were the sounds of the car’s engine, the air condition, and the occasional honk from an impatient driver somewhere.

 Frisk’s cheeks were burning. Her throat felt dry.

 Nobody had once ever said that to her. In any shape, way, or form.

 Her SOUL should be bursting with happiness, to hear someone say they loved her. But all she could feel was a sense of uncomfortableness – Sans was clearly not in his right mind at the moment. Frisk knew she was important to him, he told her that enough on a near daily basis and she knew that unlike his flirtations, his appreciation for her was entirely sincere.

 Perhaps he did love her, she thought, but not in the romantic sense, surely…

 She finally managed to regain her voice.

 “Thank you, Sans. For saying that. I love you too…”

 “noooooo…!” He whined loudly as he kicked his legs, surprising her. Before she could question his odd response to her reply, he continued. “not like that; i know you like me. i-i even know you love me… but, i didn’t mean like that.”

 Frisk couldn’t recall having ever felt so confused in all her life – by that way, did he think she had misunderstood his declaration of love as something romantic when it was only intended to be platonic? He had told Papyrus just fifteen minutes prior that he loved him as well…

 “you’re the best bro i’ve got, papyrus...” He had nearly cried when Papyrus turned on the air conditioner after Sans complained about the heat.

 “I’M YOUR ONLY BROTHER.” He sighed.

 “i know, b-but you’re still the best. i love ya, papyrus.” He sniffled, causing Papyrus, after a few seconds had passed, to quietly mutter that he felt the same.

 Papyrus probably would have appreciated the sentiment far more if Sans hadn’t been high as a kite when he said it and his eye sockets had been dry.

 “Then in what way did you mean when you said that, Sans?” Frisk honestly wasn’t sure if she should have asked – his brother looked so tense behind the wheel, but he wasn’t giving either of them any warning glances or cues to put the topic to a close.

 “you know… i love you - like that. like… like this.” He raised up both hands, weak and wobbly, then touched the pads of his two index fingers together. “oh wait, you can’t see back here from up there…”

 “I’m afraid I can’t, Sans.” She laughed uncertainly, but she had heard him make a noise with his mouth that sounded like a kiss, despite him not having lips.

 Or perhaps he did…? Or maybe she just misheard him because of the air conditioner. Yes, that had to be it.

 Papyrus, however, had apparently seen everything from the car’s internal mirror that gave him a view of the back seat, which escaped Frisk’s view because of her far smaller height.

 “GOOD HEAVENS, SANS!” He rolled his red eyelights with an indignant huff. “SHOW SOME SELF RESTRAINT FOR GOODNESS SAKE! SHE’S ALREADY MARRIED!”

 …What?

 That was all Frisk could think after that rebuttal. She wasn’t married; it was true that she wore a ring on her left hand on the finger that usually indicated if someone was or not, but she did so mainly because of the sizing of the ring and because it felt most comfortable on this hand. Papyrus knew that.

 And so did Sans.

 But in his disoriented state, all logic and reasoning he normally would have exercised and applied in this situation had been flung out the window.

 “frisk, how could you?!” He shouted with dismay, struggling against the binds of his seatbelt. “i’m not with you for… for… i get unconscious… and-and the moment i do, you go and get married to some other guy behind my back?!”

 “…What?” Frisk turned to Papyrus, hoping for some sort of explanation, but all she could see were the beginnings of dread and regret in his expression.

 “WHAT BRAND OF CHAOS HAVE I UNLEASHED…?”

 Sans was having a complete nuclear meltdown in the back now, and at this rate, poor Papyrus’s nice and very expensive car might be totaled from the inside out if either of them didn’t put an end to his brother’s tantrum soon.

 “Sans, calm down! You’re going to hurt yourself! …Or this car!” She managed to somehow raise her normally soft voice above and over his own, a feat she would later be impressed by. “Sans, I’m not married!”

 “……y-yer not? then… then why did papyrus-”

 “IT WAS A JOKE. A JEST. A JAPE!” Papyrus interjected with another huff. “…BUT NOW I REALIZE MY MISTAKE. TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR… EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY AT THIS TIME, IT WAS… A RATHER CRUAL JAPE.”

 “yeah, it was.” Sans readily agreed, letting out a growl of his own.

 Papyrus mumbled another apology before returning to his usual persona. “NOW CAN WE RETURN TO HOME WITHOUT ANY FURTHER INCIDENTS, PLEASE? THERE, I SAID ‘PLEASE’.”

 “frisk… frisk really isn’t married…” He sounded so relieved. “uuunnh…”

 And once again, Sans was so overcome with emotion that he could only express it by spontaneously bursting into tears.

 “Papyrus, would it be possible for you to pull over, please?” Frisk timidly requested. “Maybe if I sit in the back with him, he’ll calm down for the rest of the ride?”

 He wordlessly nodded his consent, then visibly cringed at the sound of his brother blowing his nose into the sleeve of his jacket.

 “y-yer gonna sit in the back, frisk? with me?” Sans momentarily paused in his sobbing, but only just for a moment. “i’m so…haaaaappyyyyyy…”

 At the next traffic light, Papyrus let his forehead hit the top of the steering wheel with a loud groan.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 A while later, the three had reached the skeleton brothers’ house without too many more tears being shed. The drive home had only lasted about thirty minutes, but it had felt like hours to Papyrus. He just wasn’t equipped to handle Sans while he was in this condition, so it gave him some amount of relief that Frisk was the one who would be dealing with him.

 But only by a small amount.

 He didn’t completely trust Sans at the moment, and he would continue not to for as long as he was like this.

 “IF HE ATTEMPTS TO DO ANYTHING UNTOWARD, I GRANT YOU FULL PERMISSION TO WARD HIM OFF WITH THIS.”

 He then tried to present Frisk a wooden baseball bat riddled with nails. Curiously, there was also a bright red ribbon tied to the handle. Was this supposed to be a gift of some sort?

 “I really don’t think that will be necessary, Papyrus.” She gave him a weary smile. “Sans wouldn’t do anything… as you said, untoward. Even when he’s like this.”

 “YES, I’M FULLY AWARE THAT HE WOULDN’T. THAT WAS YET ANOTHER ATTEMPT OF MINE TO MAKE A JEST. IT SEEMS ALL MY JAPES ARE FAILING THIS EVENING.”

 “…Oh.” That was all she could say; he looked genuinely upset that he had failed to make her laugh, but only for a moment before his usual scowl returned just as quickly as it left.

 That wasn’t truly why he didn’t trust Sans right now; he knew his younger brother respected Frisk’s boundaries and wouldn’t harass her, even while intoxicated – no, what Papyrus couldn’t trust him with currently was…

 “TRUTH BE TOLD, IT’S NOT SANS THAT I AM CONCERNED WITH.” He began to confess, his expression contorting to one of concern. “OUR LIVES ON THE SURFACE WORLD ARE FAR DIFFERENT THAN WHEN IN THE UNDERGROUND, BUT I HAVE NOTICED THAT THIS WORLD IS NOT DEVOID OF VIOLENCE AND CRUELTY. THE OUTCOME OF OUR BRIEF EXCURSION TODAY REMINDED ME OF THAT… SO, IT WOULD EASE MY MIND SIGNIFICANTLY IF YOU WOULD ACCEPT THIS WEAPON I AQUIRED, SOLELY FOR YOUR PERSONAL USE.”

 “Oh, Papyrus…” She had misunderstood his intentions; he was only trying to protect her, in his own odd way.

 She gingerly took the nail bat from him, giving it a test swing at a safe distance from any of their furniture, just to make him happy. It did. When she turned around, it was quick, but she caught a glimpse of his smile. Not one of his cocky smirks, but his real smile. There was no other way for her to describe it but dazzling.

 “Thank you, Papyrus. I probably won’t have to use it, but I appreciate it and I’ll keep it nearby… because it came from you.”

 A deep scarlet rose over his cheekbones. He diverted his gaze from her, shyly.

 “THE CRIMSON RIBBON… IT’S THERE IN ORDER TO IDENTIFY ITSELF AS YOURS.”

 The Underground had three primary colors, each representing something the entire monster population held sacred to them.

 Red – Determination. The monsters craved this trait of the humans that imprisoned them above all else, so they donned its color for strength.

 Gold – Their currency. For money sometimes held more value than anything else in their bleak and dreary lives.

 Black – The Void. Its purpose unknown, and its existence constantly acknowledged and feared.

 Of these colors, red was the only one that held any true significance to the monsters since the breaking of the barrier. Because that was the color of the SOUL of the human that had brought them their salvation.

 The ribbon looked fancy, expensive even. Frisk couldn’t say she had ever wanted a nail bat, especially since she considered herself a pacifist. But she could tell that this gift came from Papyrus’s heart, metaphorically speaking.

 She took another moment to appreciate the ribbon’s texture before he awkwardly cleared his throat.

 “I MUST BE GOING NOW… I SHOULDN’T BE ABSENT FOR LONG. I EXPECT TO BE BACK SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN TONIGHT. BY THEN, THE ANESTHESIA SHOULD CERTAINLY HAVE WORN OFF. AFTER MY RETURN, MY BROTHER AND I WILL ESCORT YOU TO YOUR OWN HOME.”

 “Papyrus, that’s kind of you, but it really isn’t necessary. I live just down the road, remember?”

 When the brothers had first began looking for a house on the surface, the sole requirements they had listed were that it be located within walking distance of Frisk’s own home, and that Grillby’s was easily accessible from wherever their future residence was located –this second condition came solely from Sans. She didn’t understand herself why that last bit was so important to him when it was common knowledge to the three of them that he could easily teleport anywhere he wanted to go as long as he knew where his destination was located.

 And for whatever reason, it seemed both skeletons had assigned themselves as her bodyguards ever since they moved to the surface.

 “I WILL NOT ACCEPT ‘NO’ FOR AN ANSWER. I CAN COMPREHEND WHY MY BROTHER’S COMPANY MAY BE GRATING AT TIMES, BUT IS MY PRESENCE SO UNDESIRABLE AS WELL?”

 Oh, Papyrus was not above playing the guilt trip card on Frisk if it meant keeping her safe.

 “That’s not it at all! Neither of you are unwelcome around me-”

 “THEN YOU ARE IN AGREEMENT WITH MY SUGGESTION THAT WE ARE TO ESCORT YOU LATER TONIGHT…?”

 “I suppose there’s no harm to be found in it…”

 “OF COURSE THERE ISN’T. YOU SHOULD LEARN TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO RELY ON OTHERS MORE OFTEN, ESPECIALLY WHEN THIS OTHER PERSON IS MYSELF.”

 “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Good luck at the meeting, Papyrus.”

 “I HAVE NO NEED FOR LUCK; I CAN CHARM THE OPPOSITION TO SHIFT THEIR CONTRASTING OPINIONS IN OUR FAVOR WITH EASE, BUT I ACKNOWLEDGE THE SENTIMENT.” He was as delightfully conceited as ever as he said this, like a strutting peacock with its feathers fanned out. “KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSE BY – SHOULD YOU NEED MY ASSISTANCE, FOR ANYTHING AT ALL, I WILL CUT MY PRESENCE AT THE MEETING SHORT AND RETURN HERE. JUST FOR YOU. AS I KNOW YOU WOULDN’T INTERRUPT SOMETHING SO SIGNIFICANT FOR ANY REASON THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED FOOLISH.”

 She agreed to keep her phone on her person at all times while he was gone, and he allowed his gaze to linger on her for a short while longer than necessary before he stepped out the door, leaving Frisk alone with Sans tucked into bed upstairs.

 Sans had fallen unconscious the instant his head had hit the pillow. Guiding him up the stairs had been a challenge for them both; Papyrus could have simply lifted him and carried Sans up the stairs without the need for any issue, but Sans had insisted that Frisk help him alongside Papyrus, and neither of them were in any mood to hear another one of his tantrums.

 He had almost fell down on a few occasions, and a task that should have only taken a few seconds to accomplish instead took several careful minutes. The stocky skeleton had even briefly fell asleep halfway up and the two were forced to carry him with one of them grasping him at each end.

 “MIDNIGHT WILL HAVE PASSED BY THE TIME WE REACH THE LAST STAIR IF WE KEEP IT UP AT THIS RATE. I THINK WE CAN AFFORD TO GO A LITTLE FASTER, WOULDN’T YOU AGREE?”

 “Huff… That’s easy for you to say!” She panted, struggling to keep a firm hold on him. “You have the light end!”

 “SANS DOESN’T HAVE A LIGHT END.”

 And to emphasize his statement, Papyrus made them switch sides, nearly sending the slumbering skeleton down the steps for the third time since they began their gradual ascent when he suddenly tried to turn over in his sleep.

 Frisk hoped that Sans never got into another accident that would make him lose one of his teeth, because she wasn’t sure she could survive having to carry him up that flight of stairs again.

 Magical skeleton monster or not, he shouldn’t be that heavy! That was what she had thought then.

 The muscles in her arms ached, but at least she could relax a little now.

 They had brought Sans home at about six ‘o clock, and he remained asleep for a little over an hour before Frisk was alerted he was awake by him suddenly letting out an agonized wail.

 She quickly pounded up the stairs, his wails sounding as though he were in sincere and significant pain. When Frisk entered his room, she found him lying on his back, eye sockets wide open with his glowing irises shrunken down to pinpricks once more. His hands were clutching the sheets in a shaky grip, and his entire body was trembling violently.

 “Sans?” She called out to him softly, knowing that he didn’t seem to be completely there as of yet from whatever undoubtedly horrific dream it was he had escaped from. “Sans, it’s me. Frisk.”

 “…frisk?” He murmured after a long stretch of silence, his body stilling.

 His voice still sounded slurred, but less than before.

 “Yeah, it’s me. I’m right here. I’m here.” She slowly stepped across the carpet towards him until she eventually reached his bedside. “Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurting anywhere?”

 “…had a nightmare.”

 “Do you want to talk about it or…?”

 He shook his head from side to side, small streams of tears escaping his closed sockets.

 “That’s alright. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” Frisk sat down on the edge of his bed and softly cupped his cheeks, gently wiping the tears that fell with her thumb.

 He raised his own hands weakly to cover her own, his touch featherlight and barely there as he let out another wet sob.

 Unlike the several instances where he had burst into tears during the drive home, this spell of tears felt less like a small child’s tantrum and more like a plea for help. It was more akin to when he first woke up and noticed that Frisk and his brother were nowhere to be found. He had been seized by a sudden, almost primal fear, a deep loneliness that threatened to smother him if not immediately remedied.

 “i… i love you, frisk.” He choked out as he squeezed the top of her hand. “i love you so much… you don’t have to feel the same way that i do, but please, just let me love you and don’t leave me, ever…”

 This declaration, again, unlike when they were in the car together, sounded far more desperate and anguished.

 And it was also now undeniable that he intended his words to be perceived by her as being nothing but romantic in nature.

 Frisk wanted to convince herself that it was probably the anesthesia talking, that she must appear different to him while in this state and it caused him to act more needy, and she just happened to be the person closest to him during this time, so she was the one being subjected to his forsaken whiplash responses. Anyone else could be standing in her place at this moment and his reactions wouldn’t change - this is what Frisk tried to tell herself.

 But she found herself quickly getting sucked into the whims of this new side of him revealed to her, this lovesick and vulnerable Sans that was looking at her and only her.

 “Shh, shh, shh… Sans, it’s going to be alright. I’m right here, in front of you, holding you, and I’m not going anywhere.” She shushed him, attempting to calm him even if only slightly. “It’s okay for you to love me. I love you too.”

 “nooooo…” He groaned again, followed by a hiccup. “stop it. just stop teasing me like this! you don’t think i am, but i’m being serious! i love you, frisk. i really really love you! and not just as a friend either. i… i don’t want some no name human guy jerk to be the one to marry you. i wanna be the one to do that… i wanna marry you, frisk!”

 Frisk had never felt such a red-hot burning sensation in all her life. Her face was such a vibrant shade of crimson, it was nearly scalding. She was certain that if she could look in a mirror, it would appear as if she had received a severe sunburn, her face was so red.

 “Sans…” She began to trail away, but he grabbed her wrist and yanked her back towards him onto the bed and himself, wrapping his arms around her and pulling Frisk into his chest.

 She could hear a wild series of thumps coming from his ribcage, which produced a sound not unlike her own heartbeat at this point in time. There was no other thing that could have produced this noise but his SOUL, forlornly crying out for her own.

 “if… if you want a pretty ring, i’ll get one for you. i’ll get you one that’s much bigger and even prettier than the one on your finger. if it’s a fancy and expensive wedding you want, i can give you that too. it may take me a while, but i’ll make it happen, for you. if it’s kids you want, i’ll give you as many as you want our family to have, or none at all if you’d rather it be just us two… but if you do want some, i’ll provide for you and them the best i can, i promise, frisk.”

 He had said the ‘p’ word – promise.

 Sans hated making promises. While the monsters weren’t ones to honor their word while they had been immersed in the old ways of the Underground life, he still felt the word put him into a position of responsibility. That’s why he avoided that word at all cost.

 And Sans had just promised to love, marry, and have children with her if she so desired, three of the most responsibility-laden commitments known to mankind.

 Forget being flushed with embarrassment; her head was spinning far too much to even think straight now. How could anyone possibly think straight after hearing all this while being in her position?

 Sans slowly carded his phalanges through her hair in a manner that was meant to be soothing as he spoke, his tone much lower and softer than she was used to hearing. Her head was tucked under his chin and his other arm was draped across her back, preventing any possibility of a successful attempt at escape.

 Frisk was immensely thankful that Papyrus wasn’t here to see this. Otherwise, the taller skeleton might have actually made due on his previous joke about bashing his brother over the head with a bat covered in nails for this display of behavior.

 She wiggled uncomfortably, but instead of loosening his grip, Sans only held her tighter. He then adjusted the two of them into a slightly more comfortable position, as if that would fix the matter in some way. Sans must have thought so, because the hand that had been absentmindedly tangled in her hair moved to the back of Frisk’s head when she had been caught trying to raise herself up and pressed downwards, her ear directly over his ribcage where his SOUL was still hammering away against his bones.

 After lying there for a few more seconds, mulling over her options, Frisk finally decided to just be direct with him.

 “Sans, you’re gonna have to let me go.”

 “no. i don’t want to.” He held her even closer, somehow. “if you’re not here with me, you might go somewhere where i’ll never see you again. so… i’m never letting you go again. ever. simple as that.”

 “You can’t do that, Sans. It’s not possible.”

 “well not with that attitude.”

 “Sans!” She struggled, kicking her legs to little effect.

 “do you hate being with me that much…?” There was an audible hint of nervousness and uncertainty in his tone as he said this.

 She managed to lift her head enough to get a glimpse of his face, and she wasn’t prepared for how lost and alone it looked. He wasn’t trying to manipulate her with his words – Sans, at this moment, truly was drifting in a sea of self-doubt and was seeking for the answers in her.

 “Don’t say something so silly.” She reached up to pat his boney cheek, the texture smooth and oddly soft against her skin. “I enjoy your company. I love being with you, Sans.”

 “…i love spending time with you too, sweetheart.” He lifted the hand that had been behind her head and rested it over hers to keep it there, closing his eye sockets as he enjoyed the blissful warmth that emanated from it. “if i could have it my way, i’d never go a second without you. because i love you…”

 Frisk involuntarily shuddered; he had moved so his mouth was directly next to her ear. Hearing something like that, so possessive yet loving, with his breath ghosting over her skin… it was just too much.

 These affectionate, and nearly obsessive words that were coming from Sans were things she had secretly always wanted to hear.

 And it was terribly, horribly cruel.

 Because he was only saying these things because he wasn’t in complete control of his thoughts or actions.

 Anyone else could replace her at this scene and in this moment, and nothing would change.

 So no matter how much Sans insisted that his affectionate claims were true, she couldn’t believe a word of it until he was fully sober.

 “…ya never gave me an answer.” He spoke again after a while, almost causing her to jump at the abruptness. His voice was beginning to sound more slurred too. “i finally confessed to ya… i’ve told ya just about everything i’ve always wanted ta say to ya since when i realized i felt this way… but you never said a word.”

 “…” She still wasn’t sure what to say.

 “i’ve poured out my whole SOUL to ya, and it still ain’t enough…” Before she could come up with a reply, he started speaking again, his tone urgent. “then tell me what i can do ta have ya, to make ya mine.”

 “Sans-”

 “i’m not flirting with nobody but you no more cuz you’re the only girl i think is attractive anymore. could come home ta find some blonde thing in a skimpy red bikini, posed all seductive on my bed and i wouldn’t feel a thing. nothin’. ask her what she thought she was doin’ here an’ tell her to shove off.”

 Frisk absorbed his statement and then took a moment to dwell on it. Her mind did a replay of the time they had spent together on the surface, and she found she couldn’t recall a single instance of him flirting with anyone aside from herself. In fact, he almost looked annoyed whenever a member of the opposite sex flirted with him these days. It had certainly happened on a few occasions, and Frisk was there to witness it.

 “and i try not to cuss as much anymore cuz i know you don’t like it. same thing with the alcohol – i used to look forward to one day tryin’ the booze you humans got for myself if i ever got up here, but now i know you hate the smell, and drunk people scare ya, and you’re right: the risks just ain’t worth it. can’t get any of those diseases you humans get, but my mouth runs somethin’ wild plenty enough when ‘m not drunk.”

 “Oh, I know. Believe me, I know this now…” She thought, but also had to silently admit that everything he was saying was indisputably true.

 Sans had changed a lot since they had become friends.

 And she had been mostly blind to it, paying more attention to him for his misdemeanors than his efforts to change. He had been silently working to improve himself, and Frisk hadn’t paid him any mind.

 It made her feel guilty, but she still couldn’t allow herself to believe that he really loved her – not yet.

 Her own crippling self-doubt and denial was stronger than her desire for affection.

 “so… what do i gotta do ta make ya fall in love with me?” He finally allowed her some breathing room, but only so he could gaze into her eyes – eyes were the window to the SOUL, and he needed a glimpse inside hers now more than ever. “i’ll do anything. really. anything ta make ya mine and mine alone.”

 “Sans… you don’t need to do anything. Not at all.” She smiled at him, but it wasn’t the one he liked, the one that would make his SOUL do somersaults and backflips every time he saw it. This one looked strained, forced. “I just… this is a lot to process… and I can’t really believe anything that you’re saying right now.”

 “why not?!” He replied, indignant.

 “Because… you’re not acting normal. You’re… you’re all hopped up on anesthesia right now. And, well… anesthesia makes people say a lot of crazy things that they normally wouldn’t. So until it’s worn off, I can’t believe you.”

 “so yer sayin’ ya can’t trust me cuz I’m drunk? ya think ‘m not tellin’ the tooth?!” He spat; his voice was really slurred now. “the-the nerve ‘a ya! i-i’ll have you know… that i am cone sold stober…!”

 Frisk just smiled at him, almost smugly as realization bloomed across his face, that what he just said didn’t sound right.

 “wait, wait, wait. crap. i… i’ve got this, just… gimme a minute…” His eye sockets began to narrow sleepily.

 “Sans, I’ll make an agreement with you, about your confession,” He perked up just slightly, now rapt with attention. “Tell me again in a little while. Then I’ll give you a proper answer. But first, you need to sleep.”

 “ok, i promise. but-but… how can i… possibly sleep…” His body was growing heavier and heavier. “when i know that… when I wake up… the most important moment a’ my life…”

 The back of his head hit the pillow with a soft ‘pomf’. She sighed, but felt a bit of anticipation as she disentangled herself from him and tucked the covers up to his chest again.

 She gave his cheek another gentle pat and made her way out of his room, hoping that this time no nightmares plagued his sleep and that he was in his right mind when he next awoke.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 At about nine-thirty, a half an hour before Papyrus’s scheduled return, Frisk once again heard sounds coming from Sans’s bedroom.

 She put down her book and padded up the stairs, opening his door and praying to herself that the mostly sane Sans she knew had returned.

 “uuuugh, i feel like i got hit by a freakin’ sixteen-wheeler truck! fully loaded!” He groaned, clutching his cranium crabbily.

 “Oh, Sans, you’re back!” She couldn’t help but shout, causing him to flinch and she gave a quick apology.

 “did i go somewhere…?”

 “Kind of? You went to the dentist.”

 “…oh yeah, that did happen. i’m remembering that now… can we not talk about it? i don’t wanna think about it.”

 “Certainly. And how are you feeling?”

 “aside from feeling like my bones were hollowed out and got loaded with rocks? pretty ok, i guess? everything’s kind of a hazy blur ta be honest.”

 “Is that so…?” She laughed, but it sounded so forced, to both of them.

 “…why are my zygomas wet?” He reached up to touch his cheekbones, his confused expression contorting into one of disgust. “feels like i’ve been cryin’. …i didn’t… do that, did i?”

 “…”

 “frisk.”

 “Yes, you did cry…”

 “how much?”

 “When you first woke up, when you woke up again, on and off nearly the entire ride home-”

 “holy sh-” He caught himself. “crap… oh crap… you… and you saw everything… you must’a been so embarrassed an’ grossed out.”

 “No, no, Sans… it’s… it wasn’t like that.” Frisk rubbed at her arm, averting her gaze.

 “then what was it like?”

 “…I’m not sure how to describe it.”

 “indescribable. just like paps said.”

 “…”

 He didn’t remember.

 He didn’t remember what he had said to her…

 It was taking every ounce of her willpower not to burst into tears herself.

  “You idiot. How could you let yourself believe, even for a second that-”

 “frisk… can you come ‘ere for a sec?” He asked, his tone quieter, softer.

 It wasn’t helping her wounded heart and SOUL at all that it was the same one he used when he had said all those beautiful things to her earlier. But she did as he requested and walked towards him, Sans not saying another word until she reached his bedside.

 “hey, sweetheart…” He lifted one hand to cup her cheek, rubbing his thumb across her skin. “why ya cryin’?”

 She didn’t answer him. Instead, she ripped herself away from him and his touch, as painful as it was to do so, and turned around, refusing to face him.

 “babydoll? frisk?” He tried to unwind himself from the sheets, but she froze him in place once again.

 “Stop it! Just stop it, Sans! Please!”

 “stop what?! i don’t understand what your problem-”

 “No, you don’t, and that’s exactly what the problem is!” She wailed, knowing that she shouldn’t and couldn’t take out her feelings of hurt on Sans – none of this was his fault.

 It wasn’t his fault that she was an unlovable mess that also couldn’t accept even the most simple gestures of affection.

 Frisk stood there, crying her heart out and neither knowing quite entirely why until she decided she’d made a fool of herself enough for the night and quite possibly for the rest of her life. Just as she reached for the doorknob, his voice stopped her, barely above a whisper but somehow still audible over her sniffles and sobs.

 “sweetheart… i’m sorry…” Sans spoke, his voice filled with genuine sympathy and warmth.

 “Why… why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything…”

 “and that’s the problem. i… didn’t do something i was supposed to, right?” He smiled wearily at her. “i broke a promise. i promised i’d tell ya how much i loved ya when i woke up sober and then i didn’t.”

 “So… you remember?”

 “i do now.” He sighed, sitting up. “some things are still a little hazy… but, i remember everything that had to do with you. i… i meant everything, frisk. every word. what i said, those were just a handful of the things i think about when you’re on my mind, every day, constantly.”

 “Sans…”

 “but… you don’t feel the same, do you? i was thinkin’ you might of told me to wait because you were tryin’ to think of a way ta let me down easy, so i hesitated on telling you how i felt again. but then you started cryin’ for seemingly no reason except for i didn’t speak up when i said i would, so… i’m… kinda gettin’ some mixed signals here.”

 “…” Frisk still couldn’t say anything, even now.

 “come ‘ere, babydoll. let’s talk this out.” He patted the empty space next to him on the bed, urging her to sit down. “i’ve said how i feel, now it’s your turn. give me the honest truth. i can take it…”

 He was still expecting a rejection, and he had lied.

 He was certain he would dust instantly if she turned away his love.

 She sat down next to him, crawling up on the bed to sit crisscrossed. Frisk opened and closed her mouth several times, but nothing would come out. Not until Sans reached out to take her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back.

 “Sans… I… this is so hard for me to do.” She choked out.

 Sans’s posture stiffened.

 He was readying himself for a rejection.

 “It’s just… nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

 His shoulders first slumped out of relief, then jumped up with surprise.

 “…nobody ever said they loved you?” He had to say it himself just for the concept to soak in.

 “Never. I… Sans, you have to understand; nobody has ever treated me like you or the other monsters do. I spent my entire life believing that I must have been some sort of mistake, that I wasn’t supposed to be here and had no place in the world… So the reason I even ended up in the Underground in the first place… was…”

 “oh, sweetheart…!” He said in a gasp, gathering her up in his arms and began rocking her in their embrace. “oh, stars sweetheart, you don’t gotta say anything… not if you don’t want to. nobody’s forcing it out of ya. but… you don’t feel the same way now that you did then, do you?”

 “No, not anymore. And… it wasn’t like that, Sans. Not how you think it was.” Frisk gazed up at him, attempting to console him now even though she was the one crying. “I didn’t jump if that was what you were thinking. I climbed Mount Ebott as a self-imposed exile. I just… it was dark. I didn’t see that hole in the ground…”

 “even if ya didn’t jump, it’s still just too sad for my SOUL to take, sweetheart.” He held her tighter, his bones clattering softly. “you came all the way out there, all by yourself, because you were that lost and lonely… and you could of died!”

 “But I didn’t-”

 “but you still could have! you could have died when you hit the ground! you could’a snapped your spine in two… or broke so many bones that you couldn’t even walk… then you would of starved to death if some other monster didn’t find you and finish ya off… you would have died… and you might of never got the amount of determination to SAVE, LOAD, and RESET… and i never would have met you… oh, stars, it could’a happened!”

 He held her so tightly that it almost became difficult to breathe.

 Now he was sobbing.

 “frisk, i can’t even imagine what kinda life you must of lived before, but…” He released her just enough to grasp her face in his hands again. “everybody i know loves ya frisk, and even if they didn’t, even if everybody else in the world hated you, and everybody else in the world hated me for it… i would still love you.”

 “Sans…!” She buried her face back into his chest. “Sans, that’s… that’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear! Oh, stars, Sans! I love you too!”

 “shh, shh, shh… it’s alright, sweetheart. it’s ok to let it all out, but remember to breathe.”

 He was such a hypocrite, was what she might have wanted to say if she were less of a mess, but right now she just wanted to bask in the warmth of his love.

 His love for her and only her.

 After several more minutes of sobbing, they both had finally managed to compose themselves.

 “…Look at us. Now our faces are both a mess.” Frisk laughed.

 “you’re still beautiful, though.”

 Her cheeks turned red at that, but now it wasn’t flushed from crying.

 “Well, I thought that you looked cute when you were crying at the dentist’s office.”

 “‘ey, i thought i asked ya ta not talk about that.”

 “Alright…” She pretended to pout.

 Her expression was so cute that Sans couldn’t resist bending down to give her a peck on her scrunched up nose.

 “so… you love me.”

 “Yes, I do, Sans.” She quirked an eyebrow at him – it sounded like what he had to say was leading up to something.

 “so does this mean you’ll marry me?” Bless him, he sounded so excited when he asked her that.

 “No.”

 “oh…” And then his shoulders immediately sagged, along with the corners of his mouth.

 “Not yet, at least.” She patted the top of his skull placatingly with a chuckle. “It’s still a little soon for that, but… I’m also not saying it’s entirely out of the realm of possibility. Especially if you continue to be as sweet and loving as you’ve been tonight.”

 If Sans had a tail, it would have been wagging so fast it wouldn’t be detectable by the human eye.

 “really? ya mean it? then can i tell everyone we’re engaged?”

 “No.”

 “aww… no fun allowed.” This time it was Sans’s turn to pout. “…can i say we are to some of the guys that try ta mess with ya so they’ll screw off?”

 “…Maybe.” She almost laughed at how quickly his expression changed from sulky to joyful. “Why do you want to get married so quickly, anyway?”

 “because… back in the underground, that’s what you did when ya loved someone and they loved you back. it was kill or be killed, so if you didn’t do what you wanted to today, you might not get to tomorrow… so that was why i decided ta be different than everybody else and do absolutely nothin’.”

 “Pfft! Sans…” She hugged him. “I don’t plan on going anywhere, and with you and Papyrus around all the time, not to mention the others, I doubt anything will ever hurt me. The surface is different than the Underground. We don’t have to rush this relationship along – we can enjoy it at our own pace.”

 “ok, but… i’d still totally be down for marrying you right now if you agreed to it.”

 “At least take me out on a date, first!” She snorted, elbowing his ribs.

 “ok! then let’s go on one - right now!” He stood up, his steps wobbly as he rushed towards the door. “then we can get married after!”

 “Sans, where are you going?!”

 “to get something to eat. what else?!”

 “Wait, Sans! I don’t think that’s such a good idea!”

 “why not? we’re just going to grill- aaaugh!”

 Sans let out a startled cry as he lost his footing on the stairs, screaming during the entire duration of his descent. He landed face down on the floor with a pained groan.

 “Sans! Are you hurt?! Say something!” She shouted, hurrying down the steps herself as quickly and carefully as possible.

 Sans’s hands fluttered towards his mouth, his eye sockets wide.

 “ow… my… my tooth! oh stars, not my tooth again! it’s gone!”

 Frisk let out a horrified gasp, hands coming up to clasp at her own mouth.

 He turned around to face her, and then removed his hands, revealing a cheeky and toothy grin, his golden one clearly visible and gleaming from the brightness of the living room lights.

 “juuuust messin’ with ya.”

 “You… You…” Frisk seethed, “Forget being a pacifist! I’m gonna clean your clock!”

 She ran towards him with fists flailing. He chuckled, sidestepping every blow she tried to land on him with ease. All until she slipped on the rug and it raveled up beneath her. She tripped forward, and Sans held out his arms to catch her. The both of them ended up knocked to the floor, Sans underneath her and Frisk on top of him just like before.

 He wrapped a bulky arm around her waist and grinned.

 “oh, i remember this part from earlier too…”

 She tried to stay mad at him, she really did. But the sight of the smugness on his face melting into an eager smile as he leaned his head towards her with slightly puckered bony lips quickly extinguished any fury she may have previously felt.

 Frisk tilted her head to the side so her nose and his nasal ridge wouldn’t collide with each other, but he took the time to brush the tip of his against hers – a nose nuzzle, as they had called it Underground. Then they leaned towards each other more, about to close the distance between their lips for real for the first time.

 And at that moment, they heard the door open.

 Papyrus stood there, standing at the doorway still as a statue, his left eye socket twitching.

 None of them said a word for what felt like the longest, until…

  “this… is exactly what it looks like.

[evan-mcculloch]

Breaking Glass || Evan & Barry

When: Oct 1st Where: Star City - Dr. Inglo’s Lab With: Barry Allen @scxrletspeedster

Summary: After discovering prominent physicist Dr. Inglo in Star City has been beating his daughter, Evan decides to take the law into his own hands; Barry arrives to stop him, with deadly results.  

TRIGGERS: Child Abuse (Implied), Injury, Death  

EVAN: It was all over the papers, the famous Dr. Inglo and his Prismatic refractor. The ability to convert light into pure energy, more so his research into dark matter; if light could craft energy, what could a substance we cannot see or understand do? All very interesting, remarkable, even. Shame a man so gifted with scientific acumen had thought it acceptable to use his daughter as a punching bag. It was only rumours, but rumours spread, and it was amazing what people would do in front of a mirror when they thought they were unseen. Evan wouldn't stand for it. Yes he was a villain, a killer, a monster, but he had his lines, and no one deserved to get away with doing what that man had done. So, the night Dr. Inglo's largest experiment into light and dark matter he'd struck. The man had mirrors set up to reflect beams of charged particles. It should allow mirrors to make energy gates, wormholes or even access new dimensions, similar to his own mirror world experience. They could've been allies, but no. Tonight this man would die. "Say it." he muttered, stepping out of one looking glass, his mirror-gun aimed squarely at the cowering doctor, "Tell me just how ya felt using yer wee one fer target practice. Did ye feel good? Feel strong?" his voice a whisper, "How de ya feel now?"

BARRY: It had taken Barry entirely too long to put two and two together. By the time the stories about Dr. Inglo's refractor technology and dark matter research had hit the presses, the rumors began spreading like wildfire about his abusive tendencies with his daughter. Barry had paid it the normal amount of attention - disgusted that the remarkable man would stoop to something that depraved; if the rumors were to be believed. He had been watching another news report about the man when his mind caught something his eyes couldn't see - the man had given an interview in his home and on display just shy of being off-camera was a large vanity mirror. The twisting in Barry's gut had given him all the indication he needed to check things out. He hadn't heard from Evan in a while - and though that didn't mean the man was up to something, Barry had a bad feeling. Inglo's rumored history was a prime target was Evan to take out some pent up aggression. The speedster bolted across the City, coming to a skidding halt as he whisked into and around the room - quickly moving Inglo behind his desk and out of the sights of Evan's mirror gun for the time being. "That's enough!" His voice was firm and commanding - the tone it came out when he was being serious and not his usual joking self. "I knew my bad feelings were justified..." He sighed, having not wanted them to be.

EVAN: “Flash.” Evan deadpanned. He’d also lost the quiet lightness he’d had in their previous meetings, this wasn’t a semi-dangerous heist. This man deserved to die. And Flash wouldn’t get in his way. “I’m a fair man so I’ll give one wee chance to zip on out the door before I start shooting. This monster’s gonna be put down.” He took a step forward, gaze fixed on the cowering doctor. “Rumours may be all you have but it’s amazing what some people’ll do when tha’ think it’s just em’selves and their reflections.” He spat. “If ye protect him yer fair game.” He took a shot, the concussive light blast shattering a large mirror behind the pair of them, raining down sharp shards. He took the chance to escape into a mirror and step out of another to get a better shot. “This can end with yer in one piece or shattered in bits Flash.” He said, voice raised yet still not quite shouting, he almost never raised his voice. His expression was deadly, completely devoid of anything save burning hatred in his eyes. It was enough to make clear there’d be no negotiating this time. He fired again and missed, but the shot continued to blasted Inglo’s machine, the pressure making in whirl to life.

BARRY: The shattering of the mirror behind them had Barry kicking up a gale as he whirled around Inglo - knocking the falling shards away from them just in case Evan decided to slip a hand up through one of them. He tucked the doctor underneath his desk and regarded him with a firm glare. "Stay put." The words were more of an order than anything. Evan wasn't playing around, which meant that Barry needed to buckle down as well. Standing back up, he quickly scanned the area for the next point the man moved to. A slight hiss and he glanced at his hand where one of the shards had cut a thin line through his glove and into his palm as he swatted it away. A minor inconvenience. "You know I can't do that Evan. I don't want to have to hurt you, but I will. The Justice system will deal with Dr. Inglo if there is anything to deal with -- not you." Barry stated firmly. The blonde checked the remaining reflective surfaces in the room - a couple smaller mirrors on the sides of the room and a giant mirror along the opposite wall. With another spark, Barry quickly turned Inglo's desk around to shield his new hiding spot from view of the mirrors and positioned himself on the other side - standing valiantly as he crackled with electricity; ready to move at a moment's notice.

EVAN: "And how will they do that?" he asked, standing within a mirror, Flash couldn't touch him there. "They'll try'n drag out a wee trail with all tha best lawyers he can buy and nothing'll happen." He'd seen it many times before; he'd taken some jobs like this pro-bono back in his hit-man days. In the end the wheels of justice just couldn't do in months what he could in minutes. And though it all Inglo's child would suffer. No. It wouldn't happen this time. He didn't smirk at the wound to Flash, he didn't want kill him, not really, but he had his own code which wouldn't be denied. Inglo had to die; if Flash got in the way he'd incapacitate him too; it was just business. "Good luck with'that." he vanished and appeared in another mirror, aiming a shot that glanced off the desk leg Inglo hiding behind. Meanwhile his machine was whirling loudly, a beam blasting into the largest mirror of the room to make the surface ripple. Evan shot out of another mirror and grabbed a sharp shard, throwing at Barry like a knife and aiming another few shots of light with his mirror gun.

BARRY: "The system isn't perfect, but it is what we have to use!" Barry stated. He knew the system was flawed, agonizingly slow, and more times than not the people that deserve punishment either got very little or none. Yet, it was what the people had chosen to carry out the law and it was what any true 'by the books hero' would have to accept. For all his speed, however, there were times that Barry just wasn't fast enough. Even he slipped up. The first shot that chipped itself off the desk behind him caught his attention and he moved to engage Evan as he unleashed his assault. Zipping and ducking over the spray of concussive light shots was the easy part, but the mundane shard of glass that had been thrown had been forgotten and as Barry came to a brief halt, the sharp shard burrowed itself deep into the forearm of his right arm. The speedster let out a pained yelp, but bolted straight at Evan. Reaching out to grab him, Barry whirled his body at the same time. In hindsight - Barry knew he should have used his left arm; but it was habit to use his right for most things. As he gripped Evan's clothing firmly and felt the man's body leave the ground in the speed-powered whirl, Barry let out a sharp yell as pain shot through his arm from the shard burrowed in it. The pain brought him to a sudden stop and his grip on Evan's collar slipped. He had been intending on sending even hurtling towards one of the walls in order to put an end to this conflict quickly - but the sudden stop and release of his grip sent the man in a different direction. The blonde could only look in horror - as if time itself seemed to stop around him more so than usual. He had noticed the machine going crazy earlier; noticed the rippling mirror, but he had paid it little attention. It hadn't seemed important enough with Evan being in the room. "Evan!!" Barry cried out, ripping the shard of glass from his forearm so it could begin healing.

EVAN: "The system's a damn toy folks like him know how a play with." He growled back lowly. He'd seen governments get real criminals off scot-free; hell they'd done that with him when he'd been given Scudder's tech. Then he'd been one more tool for them to play with system with; they could just blame their killings on the new Mirror Master who wasn't officially working for the government. He had no doubt someone like Inglo, who was working with this kind of tech, could easily call in that kind of help. It had been years since he'd last fought with Flash properly but it was like riding a bike, misdirection was the goal, he was fast but he still had to think, the blasts did their job of keeping his mind busy while the shard caught him. He was about to use that as a point of entry to get an unmissable shot but Flash, true to his namesake, was too quick and had a hold of him before he could get the shot off. Fuck. He was so close. He let out a wordless cry and tried to get hold of something but in the tempest of Barry spinning he couldn't get a grip, and then he was stumbling back, barely holding his feet steady, unable to stop himself for continuing back, the momentum too great and his arms flailed, trying to grab something, anything to stop him. It wasn't enough. It didn't hurt, but it was cold. So cold. And he yelped, stumbling to the side and falling to his knees as the semi-transparent beam from Inglo's machine hit him. Nothing happened for a few moments and then Evan's body began to ripple like the mirror surface. His feet began to crystallise over, turning to glass that seemed to be made of thousands of tiny shards. He struggled to his feet, he could barely move. "W-what have ye done?" he whispered, now shards of glass up to his waist, "F-flash," his voice trembled, "I-I'm..." he tried to speak but it was difficult, his neck glass, then his chin, "I'm cold." he whispered, his face glassing over.

BARRY: Barry could only look on with horror at the scene playing out before him. The beam had struck Evan and for a moment it looked as if nothing was going to happen, but once the man's body began rippling and crystallizing over with the very same mirror-like glass around them, Barry took a step towards him - unable to will his body to go further. What if he hurt Evan more by trying to touch him? Was it even safe? "Evan, what's happening to you!?" Barry pleaded with him for answers as the glass continued to spread. Another step forward and Evan's words sent chills straight to his bone. I'm Cold. "No, no, no." The word came out in quick, repeated utterances. "Dr. Inglo, what's happening to him!?" He demanded answers from their companion instead - only to find a look of true horror upon the man's lifeless body - a hole burrowed through the desk where one of the stray light bolts had penetrated his flimsy protection. Barry hadn't been able to save him. In all his show and firm statements, Evan had won out in the end and succeeded with what he intended to do all along. Yet, what was happening to him... that didn't seem like a just desserts. No, Barry had done this - whatever this was.

EVAN: Evan couldn't feel anything, he couldn't speak, he couldn't see... he couldn't feel. Everything was quiet. Silent. It should have been frightening but it was, peaceful. But, it was still cold. So cold. His body showed no change, he didn't hear Barry's words. He didn't see Inglo's dead form huddled beneath the desk. Nothing. His body began to fall apart, each shard pulling away from his form and beginning to fall to the floor until there was no form of Evan at all, just a pile of broken glass that continued to break down under the wobbling ray of Inglo's machine. They continued to crumble from shards to dust... to nothing at all. It was only then that the low hum of Inglo's machine quieted and it turned itself off, whirling down into standby mode. The giant mirror ceased it's rippling effect and all was quiet. Just Barry and the dead doctor.

BARRY: Silence. That was what filled the room as the machine quieted down into standby mode and the low thrum of the rippling mirror ceased. Blue eyes were locked onto the pile of shattered glass shards where Evan's body had once stood - wide, tear-laden as the situation sank in. Shakily, a hand went to his cowl-covered ear and he redirected his comm system to dial out to the SCPD. "Flash here. Got a body of Dr. Inglo, the work of Mirror Master. Can't stick around; I need to find him." And just like that the call was ended without giving the officer on the other end time enough to ask any questions. It had been an almost subconscious movement to report the body as his gaze never left the shard pile as it faded into dust and then nothingness. Barry dropped to his knees and sat there as his mind worked through the reality of what had just transpired. Evan was gone. That had been on him - because he slipped up and had gone about engaging him in the wrong way. Another mistake made from a spur-of-the-moment choice of action. That certainly seemed to be his track record. "I'm sorry..." The words came far too late. He had several minutes before SCPD would arrive - and he used them, motionless on the floor as he held his healing forearm in his lap. "I'm so sorry..."

END

[isaacdian]

hope you don't mind me asking, do you have any Isaac and Miria headcanons? i'd love to read some from you. you appear to have a good grasp on the characters, and great love for them. :)

aw thank you so much for the ask, sure thing!

some of these will probably get into theory territory as well, because i’ve had the novels sitting in my mind for years now, and there are a few details i’d like to mention (beware of baccano light novel spoilers, just in case).

this could get a bit long, so you can read it below the cut:

i’ll write my headcanons/thoughts in no particular order. more people might have come to similar conclusions, but i don’t think i’ve seen any posts or had any discussions with anyone regarding these (at least in depth), so!

- i like to think that miria and isaac ran away from their then (seemingly) unhappy lives after they got to interact with each other for quite a while, and not spontaneously upon meeting for the first time.

there isn’t much evidence to back this up beyond some characters commenting that they “were probably runaways” or that “maybe they eloped”, so they might have escaped together on the spot, since we already know they can be very impulsive. however, i get this feeling that their bond took some time to develop, and i’d love to see some of their interactions as isaac dian —and— miria harvent before they ever became isaac & miria, if that makes sense.

i doubt they met too long before their string of robberies, though? this is such a weirdly specific and probably meaningless thing to pinpoint, but in 1935 miria asks isaac if he’s ever been to the circus, and he responds that he does remember animals, but he doesn’t remember if that was the circus or the zoo. this hardly means anything, but their circumstances overall don’t really make me think that they’ve known each other since they were too young.

- whatever optimism and general exhilaration regarding life isaac has is innate. on the other hand, miria has mostly acquired her own sense of hopefulness over time, with isaac’s help.

miria is a 100% confirmed literal ray of sunshine and this indisputable. it just hasn’t/doesn’t always come to her as effortlessly as it may seem. bloody to fair isaac and miria magic show color page.png

this is somewhat related to the next one (and also the last point i’ll mention at the end of this post):

- when isaac gets arrested and he and miria get separated in 1934, they’re both having an equally hard time dealing with this.

okay this one is like. obvious ksjksk. but i wanted to talk about how they deal with this situation, because at first glance it looks like miria got the shortest end of the stick here. and in a way, that might be true! i’ve already mentioned that miria herself has been shown thinking about how much isaac helped her to be happy, and narita has been deliberately vague regarding the nature of their silliness, on top of hinting at the possibility of their shenanigans being a kind of mechanism to escape the harsh realities of life from the rolling bootlegs (very first novel), if i recall correctly.

(btw:

i recall that somewhere in the 1935 arc, graham starts talking with the usual “let me tell you a sad, sad story” prelude. however, isaac and miria are upset by this, and they tell him that he shouldn’t tell sad stories, because if you do it, your happiness will run away. meanwhile, this part in cloudy to rainy living rent free in my head:

i have to laugh..........)

that being said, i couldn’t help but feel like isaac was having an equally bad time, even if he displayed it in a different and not so blatant way. while i was rereading the novels after i got to buy the official english release, i felt very strongly that something was definitely wrong about their separation, which, again, is obvious to us readers and to the characters who know isaac & miria. but it extends beyond that. there was this general feeling of knowing that whoever came across an unaccompanied isaac would magically feel like there was something missing. i don’t know how else to explain this. he’s still full of energy and optimism and he’s fueled by his desire to reunite with miria, but every time he’s shown hesitating or doesn’t reach a satisfying conclusion while thinking about a frivolous topic, it hits you like “oh... right” (firo didn’t help much on that last front, either, so miria and isaac must have had to discuss what exactly happens to fellas who don’t believe in fairies after their reunion... lol)

in short, he needs miria just as much as she needs him. this is something i’ve seen other people mention as well: isaac might be the “force” factor in their relationship, but that force won’t amount to much without miria’s “direction”, and viceversa. the lift each other up, and they keep each other grounded, too.

i’m also remembering isaac and sham’s conversation and just. there’s a self-esteem/confidence factor in there. Fun Game of Spot the Difference

and this is getting ridiculously long, so i’ll spare you from having to read my dumb thots about isaac’s (possibly real) fear of miria not liking him, as the narrator implies, which i subconsciously ended up linking to that one impossibly crack ending in the ds game, where you pick the option of him not knowing frankenstein’s monster’s real name, so miria leaves him after realizing how “cheap and uncool” he is LMAO

- isaac’s father might have been an academic of some sort, as well as a stern man who disapproved of his son’s flighty and childish tendencies.

???????? besides miria’s implied tragic backstory, the most we know about both of their pasts is that isaac comes from a wealthy family with whom he seems to have a bad relationship with, so even though i’ve tried to work out other details (his parents’ provenance for instance?) i can’t really elaborate on this. even if isaac’s knowledge on the topic is pretty scrambled (to put it nicely lol), he knows a lot about “the orient” as he puts it, and the “dian” surname is pretty unique so who knows!👀 i’ve only mentioned his father because isaac, too, has only mentioned his "old man” twice so far in the novels, if i’m not mistaken. in my opinion, it also speaks volumes how flustered isaac got when molsa apologized to him, because it was the first time someone older than him has done this. and this is pretty arbitrary, but if isaac started robbing and getting into trouble before he and miria even met and/or before he got kicked out/ran away from home, that whole deal about “being used to dealing with policemen” (in the unofficial translation i read back in the day it was something along the lines of “this isn’t my first time being interrogated by the police”) in 1934 would make sense, i guess, considering that miria didn’t realize what was going on at the moment even though she’s a fairly perceptive person.

anyways it’s too bad we don’t know that much about miria on this front, also!! i get the vague feeling that she might have also come from a wealthy family (probably not a good environment, though), since in 1935 it’s mentioned that the closest they’ve ever gotten to working/having a job was when they were digging for gold, apparently. that’s why i can’t really think of anything too specific regarding miria’s past and upbringing... i have a feeling that she might have felt alone, trapped and/or overwhelmed. let’s just hope that when she said her bruises would heal up fine with ice in 1935 it had nothing to do with this “i should have died” business :(((

- even though isaac and miria love their friends and would do anything for them, they aren’t particularly attached to anyone (or any place) besides each other.

this is more of an observation than a headcanon, but i find it really interesting: they would definitely do anything for their friends, and they do enjoy life very intensely, but that’s precisely why they don’t seem to be fixed in one singular spot? basically, i feel like they’re the personification of “home is where the heart is” taken to the extreme. they could go anywhere and do anything as long as they have each other, and they will never make any attempts to actively do things that make it easier to label their relationship, such as getting married, which is heavily implied by firo (i think) in 2002 bullet garden (i think!!). that’s also part of the reason why i’m sure they’d never find themselves commiting to things like taking care of a pet, or a child; it’s more like they instantly “adopt” everyone they run into, as if they’ve always been friends, even if they won’t meet again for months, years, or ever again. anyway, isaac and miria are extremely good and they are literally going to be happy together forever and ever! they don’t need to prove that.

that doesn’t mean they’re not sentimental, though! i like to think that they keep some meaningful objects that remind them of fond memories of their friends. and this is hardly canon because it shows up in the anime And in a background at that, but shoutout to the rocking toy horse in their california mine lol.

- miria knew about her own immortality (as well as isaac’s) before the 2000s.

THIS IS PROBABLY MY SPICIEST TAKE and i tried to back it up in the next point of this list. i still keep thinking i’m reading too much, into this but

i can’t stop thinking about the implications, folks

which brings us to:

- miria is smarter than isaac is and actually has a fairly good idea of when he’s making stuff up, but is happy to let him take the lead.

i won’t deny that isaac and miria dedicate a huge chunk of their day to doing moronic stuff, and they are pretty dumb, but i feel like people don’t give them enough credit for how perceptive they are. even though that’s true of the two of them, i feel like this mostly applies to miria.

among other things, we’ve learned that she knows ronny isn’t human and has supernatural powers (wow), which is why she comes to him for help after isaac’s arrest. she’s very good at paying attention to small details, such as the kind of programs ennis watches on tv, or chané’s feelings, when the two talk in 1934. miria also “really knows her way around japanese” and has been shown to --apparently?-- multiply large numbers in her head in 1935... while isaac was talking about how good of an idea it would be to use the martingale betting system. not to mention how isaac stated he “doesn’t know how to count money” earlier in this arc. my god ksdjgjks. i want to know what’s up with this, if anything.

so, yeah! there’s probably more stuff that i could mention, but i am exhausted lol. thank you for your patience anon, i have no idea how long this has been sitting in my inbox. always happy to get baccano questions <3 i apologize for any typos/errors and the like.

bonus headcanon: miria grabs ennis with one hand and chané with her other hand and they go out with their arms linked and excited and they learn more about having fun, as friends do. no printer just fax

[ilovethetalkingclock]

A Not-Sew-Magical Sequel (LALALOOPSY CREEPYPASTA)

(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS CONTENT LIKE LANGUAGE, GORE, DEATH, PARASITES, DROWNING AND DARK COMEDY. IF YOU GET SCARED BY THIS, DON'T YELL AT ME FOR IT. YOU CHOSE TO READ IT.) 

(story under the cut, based on a dream I had)

(don’t worry, it’s not a screamer, i’d never do that.)

No matter how many years passed and will pass, I liked and will still like Lalaloopsy. All the characters and concepts were and still are very interesting (though Jewel was always my least favorite) and the couple episodes I saw of both the original show and the reboot of Netflix were cute and in the case of the reboot actually very emotional. I also watched all the movies and while a majority of them were slightly flawed one way or another, that didn’t stop them from being good. Hearing the toys being discontinued and the Netflix show canceled indeed made my heart sink.

But that’s not all what I wanted to talk about. Onto Lala-Oopsies.

If you don’t recall, Lala-Oopsies was a spinoff line. As the name suggested, the characters were in mixed rainbow colors and body proportions that deviated from the usual Lalaloopsy dolls, looking like, in my own words, mutants. They came as princess/ballerina hybrids and mermaids, with the ‘Littles’ (which in the original Lalaloopsy line, were the younger sisters) as fairies. They had one movie, “Lala-Oopsies: A Sew Magical Tale”. It was like all the others, cute, a bit funny, and a simple Lalaloopsy adventure with the Lala-Oopsies.

What I never knew was that they were apparently planning on a sequel.

I was at a garage sale of sorts (i know, very cliche) when I found a blank DVD case. Here’s what it read:

“LALA-OOPSIES-SEQUEL(UNFINISHED)”

“Is this a joke?”

“Oh, that!” The owner of the sale noticed me and casually went on “I worked at MGA Entertainment… they were making a sequel to the Lala-Oopsies movie… some guy decided to make that, apparently as a joke, and he was fired as it had quite a bit of… crazy stuff. We decided to cancel it altogether as we didn’t have any other ideas... We were handed copies of it from the guy who made it before he was fired. The footage is all there. There’s a lot more stuff that happened after that, but I don’t really wanna go into full detail. If you wanna know completely, it’s worth only a dollar. Not somethin’ I’d wanna watch again.”

Out of morbid curiosity, I agreed to buy the thing.

So I went home, made sure to get my DVD player on, and opened the case. There were two discs. One that read “MOVIE” and another that just had random scribbles on it. I tried to make out if the second one actually said anything, but I couldn’t read it for shit. I got out the one that read “MOVIE”, making sure it was the film itself, and placed it in.

Hoo boy, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

There was no menu or trailers, though that was kinda expected considering it was unfinished. It just went straight to the movie.

It all looked official one way or another. Some scenes were fully animated, others were simple animatics, others were in between. But I’ll just say before we get on that it was not at all the usual Lalaloopsy fare. There was no sign of anyone’s pets at all throughout the whole movie.  There wasn’t any music, like, at all, and that just made it a bit more unsettling.

Well, most of it wasn’t. It started off like your usual Lalaloopsy movie. Bea was walking down a path and singing a song about math to herself. A rather bad one, if you ask me. So bad, I have easily forgot about it. While walking, she finds the door that leads to Lala-Oopsies Land.

As the first movie took place in mostly a story that Bea was reading, she is surprised that apparently Lala-Oopsies are true. She leaves to find her friends, the rest of the Original 8 to be exact, and tell her all about it. This exchange from the conversation is what mainly caught me off guard.

Jewel: “So you just managed to find something from a story you read once in reality? I don’t believe it one bit.”

Spot: “Jewel. This is felting BEA SPELLS-A-LOT we’re talking about. The brains? The genius? The nerd? The know-it-all? She doesn’t seem to be making it up.”

Was felt their way of saying fuck? That was not in the other Lalaloopsy stuff I knew, as it was aimed at young children. I figured that was at least one of the reasons it was never finished. I decided to keep watching to find more reasons.

The Lalaloopsies were at the door to Lala-Oopsies Land, and as she didn’t believe it before as shown by the previous exchange I wrote about, Jewel was understandably dumbfounded. “Felt me, there really is a Lala-Oopsies Land…”

So of course they all opened the door and entered. Only as it turned out Lala-Oopsies land… wasn’t exactly as the story told.

The skies were orange like the original, but were more of a sickly shade of it. The ground was grey, rotted, and corpse-like. The mushroom ‘trees’ looked much more like actual fungi, and the strawberry-milk rivers and seas looked spoiled and curdled, and I could even make out a skeleton (presumably of a drowned Oopsie) in them. Bea probably put it best.

“Well… it seems the book apparently romanticized a couple details…”

The group decided to venture in and explore anyway. I couldn’t help but bring up the fact that a couple of them coughed quite a bit when they went in. Okay, scratch that, they were coughing violently, like they just inhaled smoke.

Pillow: “Felting seamstress, this place is polluted.”

As they were walking through, some sort of large insectoid jumped right on Peanut’s face Alien-style. Now I could really see why this movie didn’t make it. Obviously, everyone was panicking at the sight and trying to get the bug off. It wasn’t until like half a minute that Bea managed to find a stick on the ground and strongly swatted the insect away from Peanut’s face, though it seemed she also hit the face from this dialogue...

Peanut: “TRY AVOIDING THE FACE YOU IDIOTIC FELTING STITCH.”

...and stabbed the insect multiple times, pink-ish blood spraying from the body, gore getting everywhere. The other seven were so disgusted that Crumbs vomited right on-screen from the sight. Organs were coming out of the creature as Bea stabbed, and as I looked close enough the organs seemed rather human-like. That was pretty weird as the insect didn’t look human at all. 

Well at least I found another reason for this movie’s rejection.

Before Bea turned the monster into an unrecognizable bloodied mush, I could make the colors of the insect to be that of the Lala-Oopsies fairy Lilac, hot pink and sky blue. Nah, I’m pretty sure it was just a coincidence. And yet…

Oh, that reminds me of another scene that happened later on.

The eight were venturing on into the islands riding on some sort of old rusted boat they found, and then suddenly some sort of sea serpent or something like that i dunno with the same color scheme as the mermaid Water Lily rose from the rotted strawberry milk oceans. Bea tried to row the boat away, but the monster attacked and even picked Jewel up and devoured her. There wasn’t any doll stuffing or anything cute like that. Jewel’s remains actually spurted crimson blood and human entrails as she was being chomped down on and eventually swallowed. Screaming as if the actress herself was getting violently disemboweled.

I can still hear her agonized screams as I write this, so that’s pretty annoying. 

Pillow’s reaction perfectly described mine.

“HOLY FELTING SILK.”

My god... how the heck was a doll said to be sewn from a dress able to have human blood and guts?! Then again, it was a cartoon… a rather gory one if ya ask me.

In all honesty though, Jewel’s death was horrific yet satisfying for me. I never liked her the slightest.

During the attack, Mittens and Spot fell into the strawberry milk ocean as the boat was destroyed. It didn’t show the rest of what happened to them so I can safely assume they were either eaten or drowned. Or both.

So the ones left were Crumbs, Peanut, Dot, Pillow, and Bea.

They latched onto the boat’s remains as they headed to a large island.

The island’s inhabitants were all the princess ballerinas, both in the first movie and toy-exclusive, mutated to grotesque proportions, their hair all mussy and in tangles. Most of the princess’s faces were obscured by their hair, but the ones I was able to see were distorted in such a way I can’t really describe that well, though I’ll admit they looked pretty damn cool. Oh, their clothes were also a wreck too so yeah.

Crumbs became an idiot and decided to go up close to one (can’t remember which, i think it was Saffron?) to try and approach it friendly enough.

Saffron, like a wild animal, lunged at Crumbs and proceeded to violently rip her to shreds, and sure enough it was just as gruesome as Jewel’s death.

I remember just thinking to myself, “what the hell was this person on when making this?”

And yes, the remaining girls were horrified by that too and ran from the princesses as fast as they could.

Remember the scene I mentioned earlier with Peanut apparently getting attacked by that bug? Welp, they didn’t forget about that. Peanut immediately fell over, having a rather violent fit as she struggled for breath, her skin deteriorating as multi-colored insect larva ate their way out of her everywhere, some even lunging out like the chestbursters in Alien. (yes I know I already made that comparison before but still) They then proceeded to lunge at Pillow and devour her alive as she could only scream and the final two, Bea and Dot, could only watch.

As Pillow was honestly one of my most favorite Lalaloopsy, I just felt awful watching that.

Another princess, Anise, which I recognized full and clear with her pink and blue coloring, approached what remained of Pillow and grabbed some of the larvae, putting it in her mouth and devouring it, as her mouth was coated in a rainbow goo like that one My Little Pony episode with the zombies. 

I would say it was disgusting, but a mutant doll eating a worm was the least of my worries. 

She managed to speak words, which was strange because the princesses here were, again, mostly animalistic. Her voice was rather gravely, only vaguely sounding like the original.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING COMING TO A PLACE LIKE THIS?”

Okay, they weren’t even trying with that line.

Anise proceeded to grab Bea and beat her, but thankfully Bea was able to kick Anise right in the face, knocking her out before the grotesquely mutated princess could finish the job. Dot swiftly took Bea’s hand. Struggling to get up at first, the badly bruised Bea managed to get on her feet and run as Anise came to.

As they ran, Bea and Dot finally found the door where they came in. It tugged my heartstrings seeing the two tearfully look back, apparently reminiscing their friends, before leaving Lala-Oopsies Land for good.

It then cut to Bea in bed, very ill. She was apparently covered in radiation tumors and her hair was almost gone. Apparently the island was highly radioactive. Dot was next to her bed in tears, as Bea weakly said her final words.

“I’m sorry, Dot… sorry… for everything...”

Violently coughing blood, Bea finally kicked the bucket as Dot sobbed hysterically. The movie cut to black and ended there with, surprise-surprise, no credits whatsoever.

All I thought of was “How the hell did Bea get sick from radiation poisoning but Dot didn’t?”

So anyway I took the movie disc out and put in the one with all the scribbles.

It was a compilation of recorded clips, all of them surprisingly in the MGA Entertainment headquarters itself I presume.

One clip I remember was a Lala-Oopsies Princess Anise doll flying, chasing a random employee as said employee was in a panic. Yea it was a weird one.

Another consisted of another employee testing out a Princess Juniper doll. As they were squishing the head, (the Lala-Oopsies dolls had squishy foam heads) the doll suddenly started to bleed violently. Not gonna lie, I laughed at what the employee said.

“GOD DAMN IT GARY WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MAKING THE DOLLS BLEED.”

Last one I remember was two employees talking to each other. One of them asked the other,

“What exactly was your motivation in making this weird-ass movie?”

The other employee just responded in a weird reverse demonic gibberish I didn’t have time to translate. The first employee’s only response was a flat “what”. Exactly my reaction too. I decided that was enough and took out that disc and put it away.

Where’s the case now?

In one of my shelves. I’m keeping it. I just think it’s pretty unique in a way.

Not like it’s cursed or anything.

The End