#toxic anxceit implied

[scenecipriano]

A True Love Never Dies Pt.1

Remember this? Yeah well I decided to do it- won’t be super long but still! 

Relationships: Roceit, past Anxceit, parental Locet, Parental Royality, Parental Intruality

TW: Sickness mention, yelling mention, object throwing mention, break-up, implied emotional abuse, implied death, graves. 

CAN I GET YEE-HAW?

--------------------

Returning home was last minute for Janus, he hadn’t planned to return home until Christmas, but his boyfriend, sorry ex-boyfriend, Virgil Craine decided to throw another one of his fits, screaming and yelling at Janus that they were through, throwing various objects at him telling him to get out of their shared apartment. Virgil’s cruel words still stung, but Janus wasn’t going to focus on them. Not when he’s landed at the ATL airport, a small smile forms on his face as he takes in the bright Georgia sky. 

‘Home sweet home…’ 

“Roman! Get ya head outta the damn clouds and help me load the hay will ya!?” Remus shouts up to his brother, Roman looks down at him from his perch in the old oak tree that stood proudly behind their family home. 

“I thought daddy told you to load the hay yourself after you let the chickens chase the mailman off yesterday?” 

Roman barks out a laugh when his brother’s face grows red, it obvious that the younger twin was hoping that the incident was forgotten. 

“He did, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t help me! Besides, pa’s having lunch with Logie-boo. Ya know he always loses track of time when out with the reverend.” 

Roman rolls his eyes and climbs down from the tree, landing on his boot covered feet with a soft thud. He sweeps his light brown hair off his face and huffs. 

“No, do it yourself. While you’re having fun with that I’m going to go visit maw and grandpa, it’s been awhile.” 

Remus let’s out a loud groan as he leans his head back, causing his ball cap to fall to the ground, his dark brown locks spilling out and going past his shoulders. 

“Fiinee, tell them I said hi and that I love em, alright?” 

“I always do, Ree… and put your hat back your hair is looking a mess.” 

Roman snickers as his brother flips him the finger, he stuffs his hands into the pockets of worn out blue jeans, he looks a right mess, and his grandma would tell him so if she were here, but he wanted to talk to them.  

“Thank you for the ride, it was nice meeting you.” Janus says as he pays the taxi driver, he grabs his one suitcase (It was all he could grab before Virgil came back and found him in the apartment yesterday) from the trunk. 

“It’s no problem, but I gotta know, what’s a city boy like yourself doing around these parts?” 

Janus smiles, he must have lost his accent from the eight years he spent in the city after school. 

“I’m actually from here, but again thank you, it was nice meeting you drive safe now.” 

Janus waves to the taxi driver as he pulls away, he walks up to his father’s house and grabs the spare key from under the welcome mat. He unlocks the door and pushes it open. The familiar smell of books and apple cider hit him, Janus smiles and breathes the scents in, it was so much different from being in the city. 

“Papa? I’m home!” He calls Janus was met with silence. 

He walks inside, closing the door behind him. He peeks into the living room and then into the kitchen, his father was nowhere to be seen. Janus moves towards the stairs, taking them two at a time with his suitcase clutched in his hand. He opens the door to the study, empty. 

“Must have gone shopping…” 

Janus shrugs and closes the study door back, he moves on down the hall stopping at the end in front of a pale yellow door. He opens the door and is shocked to see it so clean. Janus smiles and shakes his head as he steps inside. 

“Everything is still the same…” He mumbles as he traces his fingers over his dresser. Janus places his suitcase on the bed, he tenses up when he hears the front door open. 

“I could have sworn I locked this door…” 

Janus hadn’t expected tears to fill his brown and blue eyes when he heard his father’s voice, but they did. Janus rushes out of his room and back downstairs, he stops on the last step. His father looked startled, his salt and pepper hair styled in its usual way, square framed glasses settled over dark blue eyes and a slightly wrinkled face. 

“Janny?” Logan asks. 

With the use of his old nickname the dam broke, Janus lets out a choked sob as he throws himself at his father. He clings to him when Logan holds his son tight. 

“I-I should have c-called I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t be sorry… it’s okay you never have to call to come back home. If you did your mama would kill me from the afterlife.” 

Janus lets out a wet laugh as he squeezes his father, they break apart moments later both of them wiping away tears from their eyes. 

“Speaking of your mother… I  think you should go see her, it’s been eight years afterall Jan. Once you’re done we can celebrate your return and catch up.” Says Logan as he places his hands on his son’s shoulders, the old priest looks him over before giving him another hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re home…” 

“Me too, daddy…” 

Roman crouches down in front of two graves, a small smile on his tanned face as he lays a wild daisy in front of the stones. 

“Hey maw...paw… Been awhile huh? I’ve been busy… keeping Ree in line and helping daddy tend to the farm… It’s been hard on dad since mama left… but we’re making it. After all we got y’all looking down on us…” 

He sighs when he feels the cool September wind wash over him, it’s been getting cooler as the days go by. 

“This was always Jan’s favorite time of year… Never too hot or too cold… Wonder what he’s up to these days…” 

Roman huffs and sits on the ground, ignoring how the wet earth was seeping through his jeans. 

“Yeah yeah, I shoulda gone after him… but I couldn’t have stopped him. It was his dream to go to New York, I didn’t want to ruin that for him… now he’s got some fancy city boyfriend.” 

Roman sighs as he lays back against the grass.

“Yeah guess you’re right… Maybe he will come back… one can only hope.” 

“Hi, mama… Been awhile huh?” Janus says as he kneels down, his mother’s gravestone still looking all shiny and new. He smiles as he gently traces over the angel wings that his father had engraved on the stone. 

“Finally came home… sorry I couldn’t make it to the funeral, Virgil’s cousin had a wedding and I just had to be there… I cried my eyes out the whole time. I hope you know that.” 

Janus sniffles and shakily wipes his eyes. 

“I-I wish you were here… Could really use your advice right about now.” 

The last time he saw his mother was over a video chat, she was in the hospital fighting for her life when the cancer she had grew worse. 

“Just… Y-You would have all the answers mama… I… I-I gave him eight years of my life and he...h-he threw me away like I was nothing…” 

Janus lets out a sob and buries his face in his hands. 

“H-How can he sleep at night after what he did!? T-The nerve of him… h-he left so easily, like eight years meant nothing.” 

Another sob leaves him. 

“C-Can you die from a b-broken heart, mama?” 

“I’m not your mama… but I can tell you that you can’t die from a broken heart.” 

Janus tenses up and whirls around, he felt his heart leap into his throat when brown and blue eyes locked onto pale green. 

Roman offers him a small smile. 

“R-Roman?” 

“Hi Jan…”

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A/N: If anyone wants tagged just let me know~ enjoy!

[thatgenderlessentity]

Virgil- *Taking drink from Janus* OK, you've had enough.

Janus- I'm fine.

Virgil- No, you're not. God, I thought I knew you. What happened?

Janus- Well, you should have known better.

Virgil- Liar! Just cut the crap and accept the fact that I care about you, you piece of-

Janus- You just can't accept the fact that you're wrong about something for once in your pretty little life.

Janus- You haven't been able to look reality in the face since-

Virgil- How dare you. How dare you! You have no right-

Janus- Go ahead yell at me, punch me, spit in my face see if I care it's all been done to me before!

Janus- You know you meant everything to me once upon a time ago,

Janus- But it's obvious I mean nothing to you.

Virgil- *mumbling* I hate you.

Virgil- I hate you so much! The worse part of this all is I know I hate myself even more.

Janus- Then let me cut you off, you let me go and don't come back.

Source: ColeyDoesThings popular fanfiction tropes (Part 2)

[quietrainfan]

Patton slowly but surely chips away at Janus and Virgil's relationship until it fades.

@unsympathetic-october-2020

[littleboy-logan]

Secrets Secrets are No Fun (1)

me: im gonna post this tomorrow

me three days later: oops

anyway, have this fanfic ive held onto for fifty years :3 its agere obviously so if you spotted this in the main tags and it makes you uncomfy then block the agere tag and the agere sides/agere sanders sides tags!

Summary: Logan lives an exceptionally ordinary life. He goes to work every morning, he pays his bills, he's a productive member of society. Just like anyone else, however, he has his secrets. He has his hobbies. If anyone found out what happens behind closed doors, they wouldn't look at him the same way again.

Characters: Logan, Remus, Roman (mentioned), Virgil (mentioned)

Pairing(s): future intrulogical & future platonic anxceit (this will be the only warning just cos, but once these ships actually come into play ill put them in the intro again)

Warnings: implied alcohol use (brief), implied toxic parents (brief), and i think thats it but lemme know if i missed anything!

Word count: 1,136

~

Logan had been lost in the woods for several days and he was growing tired. He had run away from his parents after they started drinking their secret juice that he wasn't allowed to have. Now he was starving and cold and afraid, but at least his parents couldn't yell at him.

His stomach growled especially loudly and he collapsed to the forest floor. He was sure he would die out here. He had run so far. He had no idea how deep these woods got.

Everything around him became blurry, but just before he fell unconscious, he saw someone in a black uniform approach him and call out to someone else.

***

"Sanders, do you have that paperwork done yet?" Logan's boss asked as he approached his cubicle.

"Have it right here, sir," Logan replied as he finished up the last bit of it. He handed it to his boss.

"Good work. Remember, I need that quarterly report by Monday morning."

"Of course, sir. I'm just about done with it."

"Knew I could count on you," his boss said with a grin as he headed back to his office.

Logan silently sighed as he opened up his report on his computer and began typing. His job was tedious, yes, but he could handle tedious. It's not like he had much of a choice anyway if he wanted to make a living.

The day ended soon enough, and Logan packed up his belongings and headed to the bus stop. When it arrived, he climbed aboard and had a seat near the front.

He could feel his brain going fuzzy but forced the feeling away.

The bus reached his side of town and he got off and walked toward his house. Finally, he was home, and he walked through the front door and hung his coat on the rack.

He went up to his room and set his briefcase on his desk. He had a seat in his desk chair and opened up his laptop where his draft for his report stared him in the face.

He was almost done. He could do this.

He began typing, finding that the more he wrote, the more fuzzy his brain got. He fought it off, not having time to indulge himself just yet. He had to keep working.

It wasn't long before he struggled to even read what he was writing.

He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the screen once again. The words were all jumbled and impossible to read. He couldn't possibly work like this.

He glanced in the direction of the box beneath his bed.

No, maybe he could still work. He just needed to snap out of it. He stared at his keyboard and found each individual letter and sounded them out as he typed. After a few minutes he looked at what he'd typed. It was incoherent garbage.

He threw his head back and groaned loudly. He really had no choice. He did know it was rather unhealthy to put it off for too long anyway.

He looked towards the box beneath his bed again.

He closed his laptop and went to his bed. He knelt beside it and pulled his box out from under it. Inside there was a sippy cup, colouring book, crayons, and a onesie. Not a lot, but enough for now.

He heard his roommate come home and his heart leapt into his throat. He shoved the box back under the bed and got to his feet. He wouldn't be caught dead with his age regressor gear, especially by Remus.

It sounded like he wasn't coming in, thankfully. He had a tendency to barge in without warning, which Logan had scolded him for in the past. He was lucky Remus hadn't found out about his age regression.

Logan's stomach growled, which not only brought back unfortunate memories, but made him that much closer to a fully regressed headspace. If he was being completely honest, he would rather fight back the memories than his regression.

He went to the kitchen, making sure he was still grown up. Remus was eating some ramen with cheese, a common dish for him. Logan wanted something simpler, something that would help him regress. Though, of course, he would have to remain vigilant around Remus.

"Heya, Lo!" Remus greeted, slurping up some noodles. "How's the wife?"

"I'm not married," Logan pointed out confusedly. "And I'm also gay."

"You're married to your job."

"Well... who's to say my job isn't nonbinary?"

Remus nodded. "Touché."

Logan went to find something to eat, but there wasn't much. He settled on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Crusts cut off, of course.

He got the peanut butter down from the cabinet, his Crofters out of the fridge, and the bread from the bread box. The more he made his sandwich, the smaller he felt. He didn't know if it was the smell of the food or the fact that he was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but he knew he had to be careful.

He finished cutting off the crusts, struggling to do so, and sat at the table across from Remus. He tried not to kick his feet, but the temptation to move was strong.

"Did you cut off the crusts?" Remus asked, a slightly incredulous tone to his voice.

Logan froze. "Yeah," he murmured, trying to sound older than he felt.

"The crusts are the best part, though."

Logan frowned and shook his head. "No, the jelly is."

"Says the Crofters junkie," Remus teased.

Logan continued eating, hoping he wasn't too obvious. Perhaps he was taking too big of a risk being around Remus this close to being regressed. Thankfully, he was almost done with his sandwich and then he could leave.

"Oh, hey, Roman invited us and Virgil over to his house this weekend. Which- y'know, tomorrow. You gonna be able to go?"

Logan forced back a smile at the thought of being around Remus's brother. Whenever he was regressed he craved the company of the more fanciful twin, with his flowery language and Disney references and singing.

"Uh, yeah, I can do that. What'll we be doing?"

"Probably dinner and a Disney marathon. Typical Roman."

Logan swallowed the last bite of his sandwich and excused himself, glad he could finally go to his room. He locked the door and got his box back out from under his bed.

He went to the neighbouring bathroom and filled his sippy cup with water and then got changed into his unicorn onesie. He then began colouring in one of his colouring books. He laid in the floor on his stomach with his feet kicking in the air.

Life was more carefree like this. If only anyone could understand.

[jadienjaystoriesandart]

Here’s Part Two of my look at Sanders Sides Couples.

This will cover the Deceit/Janus ships. These are looking at them in the eyes of the cannon and seeing if they were work or not. These could be taken as my personal opinions, but given I’ll be talking shit about my favorite couples... yeah...

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Roceit (Roman/Janus) - Now this is one of my favorite Janus’s ships if I’m honest. But, honesty, they wouldn’t work at all for each other. As we’ve established, Roman has a problem with putting people down to boost his own ego. We saw this at the end of SvS Redux with him making fun of Janus’s name after the others started to trust him. And Janus lashed back, which wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but made sense as I’d have done the same thing.

Then, turning to SvS itself, the court room, Janus had used Roman’s role against him. Janus was trying to gain ground by proving to the others that going to the callback was better, but, as we saw, this ended badly. He felt bad for it, using Roman, but it didn’t change that he did it. (I often see this is a sign that Janus is ‘Unsympathetic’ but I don’t see that. Janus did admit in SvS Redux that he applauded Roman for being selfless, even if it didn’t serve any purpose in the end. Which, he was right.)

This couple would need to work hard at understanding each other to work. Again Roman would need to work on his need to insult people to feel validation. And Janus needs to understand where the line is before he could do anything.

Loceit (Logan/Janus) - I tend to be impartial to this one, on the one hand, it’s cute, on the other, it’s eye rolling. But, cannon wise, I’d say that Logan and Janus are the only ones that I haven’t seen at each other throats. As we aren’t sure if at the end of SvS redux if Janus had harmed Logan in any way before taking his place, if he was Logan the entire time, or if Logan is upset at Janus.

I’d say no, as Logan seemed more upset at the others that they didn’t seem concern about him after the climax was over. Actually, out of all the time Janus has impersonated Logan, I’ve never seen Logan be angry at Janus. Just either disappointed or slightly annoyed. Casually calling him out, or just rolling his eyes. But, unlike with the others, I’ve only seen once where Janus has been openly mean or hateful to Logan.  The only thing that could be taken as that is when he puts Logan on the bench in SvS, courtroom scene. But, given Logic wasn’t apart of the conversations, as this was about Thomas’s feelings more than anything else, it made sense. But he still did call Logan to the stand and got his opinion and let him speak. And granted he did say this is ‘benched trial for you’ putting him in the far back. As yeah, Logic had no part. Again, Logan asks like he’s mildly annoyed at this, and not angry angry. 

Though, out of all the Janus ships, I’d say Loceit is the most stable. They seem to listen to each other, and through out the series each interaction seems to be mild annoyance, to, dare I say it ‘fondness’? Not sure there, this couple confuses me to no end.  You’re guys thoughts?

Anxceit (Virgil/Janus) - Ohohoh boy, this pairing. Toxic as hell! Granted we don’t know much about Virgil and Janus’s past, but what we do see. They would NOT make it as a couple at all. Virgil is constantly putting Janus down, not wanting to talk to him, or even let him be heard to Thomas. Even going as far as to say in SvS that Janus and ‘his friends’ (ie Remus, and maybe Orange (not confirmed yet).) shouldn’t be allowed to do things like what Janus did in that episode. Aka be heard or allowed control of a situation. And Janus is openly manipulative, putting down, and sarcastic in a mean way to Virgil. Clearly seen in SvS where he riles up Virgil, Virgil calls him a liar, and he riels him up again. (We know with Roman, Janus felt bad, but we don’t know if he does with Virgil just yet.)

Then again in Can Lying Be Good with them pretty much just undermining each other with some insults and such.  These two CLEARLY have some issues in the past. And until that resolved, I don’t think as a couple they’d work in cannon. Because insulting each other the way they do, it’d be bad. The only instant I can think of any ‘fondness’ used was when Janus lost his cool at the end of SvS and Virgil was smirking at that. If you an call that ‘fondness’ really I think Virgil was just enjoying Janus’s melt down (granted all were.)

Moceit (Patton/Janus) - This is one I don’t pair alot myself, as I don’t particularly like it. I’ve always seen them as the divorced couple who are having to wrangle their kids together. That being said, I’d see this i a fence couple. Unlike with Logan and Janus, I can find a few instances were Janus was manipulative and a little rude to Patton. Such as in SvS where he was implying Patton was being immoral and among other things. Or in Can Lying Be Good as he was impersonating Patton to be heard to Thomas. Unlike where he impersonated Logan to be logical, he was impersonating Morality to put Thomas in a morally compromising situation. Granted, Janus had a point in the situation, but still. 

But as there are these there are fond moments too. At the end of SvS Redux, where they share a smile, where Patton trusts Janus to take care of Thomas, or where Janus didn’t call Morality/Patton misleading Thomas on purpose. Even stating that he think Patton didn’t do it on purpose.  He’s not trying to make Patton the bad guy, even if in past Eps it seemed like this. We don’t know if he feels bad for these moments or not, we’ll see. 

But for now, this couple could work, if even time to understand each other and have equal footing in Thomas’s life. Right now, it’s heading there, but it’s rocky at best. Until Thomas allows them equal footing, they will be at odds with each other, as Morality can be quiet dominating in Thomas’s life. 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

I’ve already over Dukceit on the other one. But next time I’ll be looking at the Remus ships and dissecting them?  Do you agree with me, disagree? I love to debate it, if you think I missed anything let me know!

[siren1song]

Master List

Look! A cohesive post of the fics I’ve written! Let me know if there’s any issues with the links, I’ll do my best to fix them!

Fics with a * next to them are personal favorites of mine that I’ve written! Under a cut because there’s so many!!!

Anxceit

Sea Life* (Ao3 Link)

Tail End* (Ao3 Link)

North Side of the Trees (Ao3 Link) (Incomplete)

Home Again* (Ao3 Link) (Familial) (Implied Moxiety)

Wait What? (Ao3 Link)

Our Journey Never Ends (Ao3 Link)

A Deal* (Part two) (Ao3 Link)

Stay With Me* (Ao3 Link) (Continuation of A Deal)

In Trouble (Ao3 Link)

Partners in Crime* (Ao3 Link)

Scales* (Ao3 Link)

Those Three Words* (Ao3 Link) 

Razzle Dazzle ‘Em (Ao3 Link)

Dating in Quarantine (Ao3 Link) (Also has Intruality and Logince)

Dukexiety

The Gayest Panic* (Part Two) (Ao3 Link)

Only You (Ao3 Link)

Two Am? Really? (Ao3 Link)

Mug (Ao3 Link) (Past)

In Other Words, I Love You (Ao3 Link)

In Other Words, Please Be True (Ao3 Link)

Pirate (Ao3 Link)

Logan’s Dad (Ao3 Only)

WingGhosting* (Ao3 Link)

Married? In this Pandemic? (Ao3 Link) (Mature)

Lifetime of Laughter* (Ao3 Link)

Your Fantasy* (Ao3 Link)

Moxiety

Crush (2, 3, 4) (Ao3 Link) (Side Logince)

Puppy Love* (Ao3 Link)

Coffee Breath* (Ao3 Link)

Protecting Pattonpuff (Ao3 Link)

Insatiable Habits (Ao3 Only) (Mature)

Fallen (Ao3 Link) (Discontinued)

Tell Myself to Breathe* (Ao3 Link) (Familial) (Implied Anxceit)

Roceit

Got a Darkside* (Ao3 Link)

Upper Hand (Ao3 Link)

Flirting Mary Poppins Style (Ao3 Link)

Romance (Ao3 Link)

Common Enemy (Tumblr only) (Summary fic) (Platonic)

How We Fall Apart (Ao3 Link) (Platonic)

Let Me Be (Ao3 Link)

Keep On Marching On (Ao3 Link)

Prinxiety

I Think I’m in Love (Ao3 Link)

Moonshine (Ao3 Link)

Tired (Ao3 Link)

Of Course (Ao3 Link)

You Asked For It (Ao3 Link)

Loceit

Run Away with Me (Ao3 Link)

A Lie to Himself (Ao3 Link)

Noodle Club (Ao3 Link)

Royality

Oh My Love (Ao3 Link)

Losleep

Science of Attraction (Ao3 Link)

Ape Man* (Ao3 Link)

Love is a Chemical (Ao3 Link) (Angst)

Too Late (Is It?) (Ao3 Link)

Sleepality

Tear in my Heart (Ao3 Link)

Analogical

A Challenge from a Storm (Ao3 Only) (Mature)

Coming Unglued (Ao3 Link) 

When I’m With You* (Ao3 Link)

Right Now (Ao3 Link)

Logince

Coffee (Ao3 Link)

Dukeceit

To Be His Brother (Ao3 Link) (Unrequited) (Roceit)

Moceit

Beneath the Milky Twilight* (Ao3 Link)

Pressure (Ao3 Link) (Written as platonic, can be seen as romantic)

Love the View* (Ao3 Link)

Thvi

Movie Time Cuddles* (Ao3 Link)

Alive at Midnight* (Ao3 Link) (Mature)

Space Out* (Ao3 Link) 

Intruality

You Got Me Good* (Ao3 Link)

Giggle Gaggle (Ao3 Link) 

Sugarcoated (Ao3 Link)

Finally Got It (Ao3 Link)

Prycevi

Hug (Ao3 Link)

Lopryce

Bookshop (Ao3 Link)

Anxton

You Make Me Smile* (Ao3 Link)

Dukesleep

Somethin’ About Ya (Ao3 Link)

Losleepxiety

We’re Worth It (Ao3 Link)

Intruloceit

Magic’s Real (Ao3 Link)

Anxceitmus

On Impact (Ao3 Link)

You’re All I Need (Tumblr Only)

Analoduke

The “Government” Said No (Ao3 Link)

LAMP

Neglect (Ao3 Link) (Discontinued)

Intrualianxvi

Emoji (Ao3 Link) (Andy and Remus centric)

Anxthvi

Me, Myself, and I* (Ao3 Link)

Anaroceit

A Work of Art (Ao3 Link)

Can’t Get Enough* (Ao3 Link)

No Ships

Uncomfortable Being Dishonest (Ao3 Link) (Roman angst)

Let’s Go Out with a Bang* (Ao3 Link) (Feral Patton)

Loveliest Lies of All (Ao3 Link) (Janus Centric)

Big Brother Creativitwins Au

Au following the twins adopting Virgil into their family and his recovery from abuse and journey of discovering himself. Follows everyone, but focuses on the familial content.

Master List Here

Janus Learns How to Treat People

No Endgame Ship. Janus learns his actions towards others are toxic and decides to unlearn that behavior, but not before experiencing the consequences.

Master List Here

The Black Cat

Moxiety Multichapter, has shapeshifter Virgil and trans Patton.

Incomplete

Master List Here

Dawn of Day

Analogical Multichapter, has fae Logan and past platonic Anxceit.

Master List Here

Something Fishy

Anxvi and Intruality. Siren Virgil, sea eldritch Remus and Patton, Pirate Andy. Personal favorite au.

Master List Here

Bad Things Happen Bingo

Card One

[unsympatheticpatton]

Sesame Seeds

Word count: 487

Pairing(s): platonic anxceit, parental toxic!moxiety

Warnings: unsympathetic Patton, implied abuse, emotional abuse, allergic reactions, emotional manipulation, guilt tripping

“Dinner!” Patton called into the mind space. There were only three sets of cutlery at the table; one for Patton, one for Virgil, and one for Dee. Logan was pushing himself to the limit working, he didn’t have time to eat, and Roman and Remus were off doing who knows what.

Virgil silently slipped into the room, sitting beside Dee across from Patton. He looked down at the cheesy pasta in front of him - it smelt delicious - creamy and sweet. Virgil was about to wrap some of the spaghetti around his fork when Patton said he could, then he froze, peering at the little seeds, small, pale, and almond shaped.

“What’s wrong, kiddo?” Patton’s voice was innocent and light. Virgil peered up at him timidly from beneath his bangs. That strained smile on his face made fear claw up Virgil’s shoulders.

He hesitated. “T-this has sesame s-seeds in it.” Virgil could hardly stop his voice from trembling. Patton nodded, and Deceit stopped eating, glancing at Virgil worriedly.

“I-I’m allergic t-to sesame se-seeds.”

Patton’s gaze hardened to ice. “Oh Virgil. I worked so hard on that pasta. You’re really going to let it go to waste? Are you that selfish?”

Virgil trembled, not answering. Luckily, Patton didn’t expect one.

“Don’t do it, Virge.” Dee said quietly, placing his hand on top of Virgil’s.

“Shut up, brat!” Patton shouted, making the other two flinch. “If you don’t - I’ll have to punish you.” Patton’s voice was sickly sweet. Those works made Virgil Shake even more. He knew there was an EpiPen in the living room, hopefully Dee could get it to him and hopefully save his life.

Patton smiled coldly, a glint of malice in his eye as Virgil shakily brought the fork to his lips, chewed, and swallowed.

At first nothing happened. Virgil appreciated the sauce as it went down.

Dee took another small bite of his, not taking his eyes off Virgil. Virgil looked to Patton, hopefully to tell him it was okay, and that Patton would make something else for him.

Patton’s cruel smile was etched into stone. “What are you doing? I didn’t say you could stop. That whole bowl - all of my time. You wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings like that - would you?”

Virgil suppressed a small whimper at the back of his throat, instead he nodded submissively and took another bite of the pasta. And another. And another- in each one Patton’s smile got wider and wider. Dee bumped his leg reassuringly.

It was the 4th one where something started o happen. Virgil drew in a shaky breath, his throat grew tight, too tight, and his skin grew itchy. Every breath made Virgil’s throat burn with pain, it was so much effort. His head started to spin, Virgil tumbled off his chair.

[inactiive-shit]

Masterlist

UPDATED: 7/3/2020

I have decided to collect and link all my shit together because it is hard to find sometimes and honestly, I just thought it would be fun. Here are all my stories (at this point, they are all Sanders Sides fanfiction):

1. A Hero’s Death - Virgil always wanted to be a hero. And now he is. But it's not quite like anybody imagined it. (warnings: death, violence, no comfort//genre: angst/whump?//pairing: LAMP, some qpp some romantic) Read on AO3

2. Reasons To Live - Virgil just wants to walk home and agonize over his upcoming test, but a man he’s never seen before asks him a question, and somehow it all ends up okay. (warnings: none//genre: this was once described as cold fluff, which is possibly my favorite thing I’ve ever been told//pairing: platonic Analogical) Read on AO3

3. Don’t Stop If I Fall - When Virgil makes a promise, he means it. Furthermore, he always fulfills it. Even if it’s not quite in the way Patton was hoping. (warnings: death, unspecified creatures, unhappy end//genre: angst//pairing: platonic LAMP) Read on AO3

4. But Grow If I Can’t - Sequel to “Don’t Stop If I Fall” (warnings: same as previous installment) Read on AO3

5. Blood In My Mouth - A win brings him a friend, a loss brings him a friend, and an illegal fighting group can bring. . .love? (warnings: violence//genre: ???//pairing: platonic Moxiety, Prinxiety, romantic Analogical) Read on AO3

6. We’re Not What We’ve Seen - Nothing is guaranteed in war, and Patton knows this better than most. That doesn’t stop him from believing they’ll make it through mostly unscathed. (warnings: violence, war, despair//genre: hurt-comfort?//pairing: platonic LAMP) Read on AO3

7. I’ve Been Sane Too Long - Finals are a hard time - especially for someone like Logan, who has always done well and now has to. Failing means he’s worthless. . .doesn’t it? (warnings: stress//genre: hurt-comfort probably//pairing: platonic Logince) Read on AO3

8. (Bury Me In) All My Favorite Colors - Logan’s favorite color used to be dark blue, but now it’s a little more complicated than that. (warnings: death, no comfort//genre: angst//pairing: romantic LAMP) Read on AO3

9. You Watch It Fall - Roman’s been around for a very long time. He’s seen and done a lot of stuff. Some of it can get pretty old. (warnings: violence, some comfort//pairing: romantic Prinxiety) Read on AO3

10. Desperate Times, More Desperate Measures - When their powers manifested, Virgil’s three older brothers wanted to be just like their Dads and fight crime. Virgil had never been so inclined. Now, however, they never come to family dinners because they’re always busy. Virgil takes matters, and maybe the law, into his own hands. (warnings: I don’t think there’s any unless you count annoying your siblings//genre: It’s pretty funny//pairing: familial LAMP) Read on AO3

11. Night Is For Sleeping - Or Making Friends - All Dee wanted was a nice night in, sleeping. When the Prince of Chaos shows up in need of help, Dee’s night goes down the drain along with whatever sleep schedule he may have had. (warnings: blood, near death experience//genre: hurt-comfort//pairing: platonic Roceit, romantic Moceit) Read on AO3

12. Dedicated To The Kids - Virgil’s never known anything but his grueling schedule. Now, he’s tasted freedom. He won’t give it up. (warnings: implied abuse, running away//pairing: none) Read on AO3

13. All The Lighters Looking Just Like Stars - It’s about Roman being in a band (warnings: none) Read on AO3

14. False Hope - All Virgil wants to do is go home, to leave all this pain behind him. Nothing’s ever been that easy, though. He doesn’t think it ever will be. (warnings: whump, pain, confusion, unclear ending//genre: whump//pairing: romantic Analoceit, familial Prinxiety, platonic Moxiety) Read on AO3

15. Memes Make For Serious Business - This is based off a textpost. It’s really just funny and fluffy. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic Analoceit) Read on AO3

16. Memes, Pt. 2 - Sequel to “Memes Make For Serious Business” (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic Analoceit, platonic Roman/Patton/Virgil)

17. Leaf You Happy - Roman and Remus have a tradition they’ve enacted every year since they were kids. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: FAMILIAL Creativitwins) Read on AO3

18. Pumpkins - Logan's favorite treat comes around exactly once a year, and it comes with all of its own rituals and traditions. Those rituals and traditions have changed over the years; that just makes it that much more special. (warnings: mention of a knife for pumpkin carving//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic Analogical, familial DLAMPR) Read on AO3

19. Supernova - Virgil was looking forward to a full night of horror movies and candy. Unfortunately, his Dad gets sick last minute, so there's only one person left who can take Roman trick-or-treating. But, hey, there's probably something aside from candy in it for Virgil as well. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic Analogical, sibling Prinxiety, sibling Logicality) Read on AO3

20. Live A Little - Logan only gets one day out of the year. He has to make it last. (warnings: death, implied murder, blood, ghost//genre: ???//pairing: platonic LAMP) Read on AO3

21. In Perpetuum - They say the house is haunted. Shadows where there can't be, sounds there shouldn't be, music when nobody's lived there for over a decade. They say there was a murder there. But what really happened? (warnings: death, mental illness, it do be happy ending//genre: I’d call it fluff, but it’s whatever you call trying to write a ghost story and coming up with a love story instead//pairing: romantic DLAMP) Read on AO3

22. Friends In Scary Places - One thing Patton loves are haunted houses. (warnings: general haunted house stuff, gore for actors’ costumes, scares//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic Moxiety, Intrulogical, Roceit, platonic DLAMPR) Read on AO3

23. Skeptical Belief - Logan has always believed in ghosts, despite the facts that his life has been totally free of the paranormal and he's a very skeptical person. The crux of the issue, then, is that he must find his own proof. Easy enough. (warnings: there is a demon-like thing//genre: it’s sort of fluff but not really? Unsure//pairing: platonic Analogical focus) Read on AO3

24. A Promise Never Broken - When the waters rise, Dee will always be there. (warnings: depression//genre: hurt-comfort, maybe? Idk, man//pairing: ambiguous Moceit) Read on AO3

25. Scary Movie, Safe Arms - Roman hates scary movies. He always has. He definitely does not want to watch one, not even for Virgil. Well...maybe he'll try for Virgil. (warnings: scary movie//genre: fluff//pairing: platonic Prinxiety, platonic LAMP) Read on AO3

26. The Dragon Witch of Heart’s Hospital - Dee is the Great and Terrible Dragon Witch. He can often be seen battling with young Prince Roman and his good friend Mage Logan. Recently, though, the Kingdom has gotten a few new residents. (warnings: setting is a hospital//genre: fluff//pairing: platonic DLAMP) Read on AO3

27. Jack And Sally Started At Taco Bell - Romantic Anxceit and their absolutely trash goblin dynamic. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic Anxceit) Read on AO3

28. Monster - Virgil is clairvoyant - a psychic, medium, gifted, has The Sight, whatever. No matter what you call it, it sucks. Even a hang over would be better than this. It might not be all bad, though. Things could be looking up. Maybe. If Virgil can stop puking long enough to look up. (warnings: puke//genre: hurt-comfort I think//pairing: pre-romantic Anxceitmus) Read on AO3

29. Masquerade - Dee is the Prince Consort to Prince Remus. They've been dating another man for quite a while now and they believe it's time the rest of the kingdom - and the King, Remus's brother Roman - finally learn about their newest partner. In the most spectacular fashion possible, of course. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic Anxceitmus) Read on AO3

30. First Snow - Virgil’s from southern Florida and he’s never been to a hell-state quite like this one before. Of course he’s never seen snow! (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairings: platonic lamp) Read on AO3

31. The Shoulder - Virgil gets hurt and the last thing he wants to do is be vulnerable withe people. Unfortunately for him, there are a few people he might like to be able to be vulnerable with. (warnings: fight mentioned, dislocated shoulder, anxious thoughts//genre: hurt/comfort//pairing: platonic dlamp) Read on AO3

32. When The Violence Causes Silence - Virgil has to train the New Recruits.And he is just ecstatic about it. /s (warnings: zombies, fighting, near death experiences//genre: apocalypse//pairing: platonic moxiety) Read on AO3

33. Life As A Sanders - Through the years of Virgil and Logan getting adopted by their Dad, Patton, and some of their major milestones in life. 12 Parts. (warnings: some fights, I’ll add more as they appear//genre: fluff?//pairing: familial dlamp) Read on AO3

34. Old Flame - Roman had a high school sweetheart. He hasn't seen him in over ten years and for all he knows the man could be dead.Then he shows up unexpectedly, and it turns out to be something both of them needed. (warnings: past toxic relationship, past drug abuse//pairing: platonic prinxiety) Read on AO3

35. Icarus - Roman loves to fly high, but Logan fears that one day he may go too high. (warnings: none//pairing: romantic logince) Read on AO3

36. Leaving To Be Happy - Roman and Remus are rather well off, rich sons of a well-known business man. Roman is expected to marry well and one day, surely, Remus will finally settle down himself. There's just one problem: Roman might as much disdain for this plan as his brother. (warnings: mentioned homophobia, forced heteronormative garbage//parings: familial creativitwins) Read on AO3

37. I Don’t Have A Name For It - Logan does not know what to call the feelings that Patton makes him experience. Luckily, it's an easily-solved problem. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic logicality) Read on AO3

38. Of Love And Knives -  It’s Valentine’s Day, and Remus had a plan. It’s just…a work a in progress. (warnings: lots of sexual language/references//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic dukexiety) Read on AO3

39. Quiet Lies -  Dee gets a little bruised up. Luckily, it’s not anything a couple of horror movies can’t fix. (warnings: mentions of violence//genre: hurt/comfort, i guess//pairings: platonic anxceit) Read on AO3

40. Burning -  Virgil needs a goddamn hug. (warnings: touch starvation//genre: hurt/comfort//pairing: platonic dukexiety) Read on AO3

41. Warmth -  Logan can’t sleep, but his roommate is very helpful. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: platonic/ambiguous loceit) Read on AO3

42. Ice Cream And Staying Up - Patton gets home from work late, and he’s fine, but Virgil was scared about what might have kept him. (warnings: mention of puke//genre: hurt/comfort//pairing: qpp moxiety) Read on AO3

43. Knight And Mage - Roman gets wounded in battle. It's fatal. Or...under other circumstances, it would be. (warnings: near death, battle//genre: hurt/comfort//pairing: romantic logince) Read on AO3

44. Snake-umentary - Virgil has had a stressful day. (warnings: mention of crash, accidental misgendering, panic attack, dissociation//pairing: romantic anxceit) Read on AO3

45. Water Bottle - Remus hyper-focuses so hard that he forgets to do basic things, like eat. (warnings: accidental dehydration//pairing: romantic anxceitmus) Read on AO3

46. Nasty - Virgil likes ice cream and Remus doesn’t like clothes. (warnings:  nonsexual nudity, mentions of quarantine and shitty jobs//genre: fluff//pairing: platonic dukexiety) Read on AO3

47. Peachy Fuzz - Remus really needs to get better at cards so that this doesn’t happen so often. (warnings: blood, fight, theoretical mention of murder//genre: hurt/comfort ig//pairing: romantic dukexiety) Read on AO3

48. Empty - Patton feels empty. (warnings: depression//pairing: platonic royality) Read on AO3

49. Thunder -  Dee doesn’t like thunder, and his boyfriend does, in fact, know that. (warnings: referenced sex, none included//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic anxceit) Read on AO3

50. Self Care - Roman fights crime because he has to. Because if he doesn’t, who will? All Patton’s asking is, who’s looking out for Roman? (warnings: none//genre: hurt/comfort//pairing: platonic royality) Read on AO3

51. Gift - Patton gives his boyfriends a heartfelt gift. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic lamp) Read on AO3

52. Jacket or Blanket? - JD, Virgil, and Remus go to the roof to look at stars. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: ambiguous anxceitmus) Read on AO3

53. I Love You - Logan is very much in love. Figuring out the appropriate time to say this is, somehow, the hardest part of the process. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: romantic analogical) Read on AO3

54. Medusa - Remus really just wanted a bite to eat. He hadn't been expecting to find a living myth. (warnings: vampire, monching//pairing: pre-romantic dukeceit) Read on AO3

55. Drifter - Virgil has been on a lot of ships in his life; he’s more of a drifter than a pirate. But this one? It’s something different. (warnings: none//pairing: platonic moxiety) Read on AO3

56. Electricity - Remus is like the clock that still has cogs. He does work. It is just a different kind of working than others are used to. Sometimes, he must be wound, sometimes his gears malfunction and he must be reset. Sometimes people ignore his face for the ones printed in pretty, glowing numbers. (warnings: references to past issues, intrusive thoughts, Remus-normal stuff//genre: comfort//pairing: platonic intruality) Read on AO3

57.  Betrayal - Virgil’s getting revenge. His way. (warnings: fighting, betrayal, blood, stab//genre: angst//pairing: Virgil and Janus, but angry) Read on AO3

58.  Family - Janus finds out about Virgil trying to duck out. He’s less than pleased. (warnings: dark sides, aggressive love//genre: hurt/comfort ig//pairing: platonic anxceitmus) Read on AO3

59. Eventually - Roman and Logan play Mario Kart. Sometimes, Mario Kart can be the window to the soul. (warnings: none//genre: fluff//pairing: logince) Read on AO3

60.  Just Until - Virgil has not been having a good week. Patton knows a guy. (warnings: panic attack, snake mention//genre: comfort//pairing: platonic moxiety) Read on AO3

[ilovemygaydad]

title: grown

summary: I am the spirit of the small brooke in the woods.

pairings: moxiety (pre-romantic to romantic), toxic anxceit

warnings: first person pov, abusive relationship, deceit is an abuser, religion, homophobia, mild anti-semitism, angst with a happy ending, implied depression, crying, kissing, anxiety, mentions of a prosthetic, sadness, catholic stereotypes (?), possibly something else

a/n: the second part of a series that i’m going to write as a writing exercise!

you - ao3 link

I am the spirit of the small brooke in the woods. I don’t know my age--time is an odd concept that I’ve never been able to master--but I would say that I’m neither old nor young. I am neither powerful nor mundane. I just am.

However, in all of my time on this earth, I had never been so fascinated by humans until the two of you showed up. You were young. You had small faces and hands and high-pitched voices, which I found truly adorable. The happy one always had so much energy, running forward and back toward the quiet one, who was much slower than he was. I’ve since figured out that it was due to the odd, metal bar that he had instead of part of his leg. 

You two would always hold hands and smile at each other with those innocent faces and missing teeth (you wouldn’t believe how shocked that I was the first time I found out humans lost teeth as humans). The happy one giggled loudly as he splashed in my water, and the quiet one would gently tell him to be quiet, but in the caring way that his voice always tended.

There were many times that you would visit my brooke as you grew; however, there was one day that changed things for a long while. I believe that you were sixteen years old, and you had been visiting the brooke for around seven years. The happy one had mellowed into a lovely young man, and, sadly, the quiet one had become anxious and scared. On that day, the quiet one was even more anxious than usual; the smell of his fear overpowered nearly all of the happy one’s emotions. You sat on your usual rocks, and a silence fell over you. I remember the conversation that followed so vividly...

“Patton,” the quiet one said, folding the sleeves of his large hoodie over his hands. “I have something to tell you.”

“Aw, Virge, you know that you can tell me anything! There’s no need to be nervous.”

The quiet one waved his hands around in a vague, wild motion. “I know. I know. It’s just... I like you.”

“I like you, too! What is it that you needed to say?” The happy one tilted his head, and I watched as the quiet one stiffened.

“No, Pat, I like you. As in, I have a crush on you.”

Realization dawned on the happy one’s face, and he frowned. “You can’t have a crush on me. Boys aren’t allowed to like boys. That’s what the priest at my church said. ‘Being gay is one of the worst sins.’”

There was a pause--one that most likely felt much longer for me as I watched the tiny bit of light left in the quiet one’s eyes die out--before the quiet one spoke again. “You’re right. Of course. I wasn’t thinking correctly.”

“Y’know,” the happy one said, perking back up. “Maybe you could come by my church on Sunday, and we can get all of your feelings corrected! It would be fun.”

“I can’t. I have temple, remember?”

“Can’t you just skip it? It’s not like it’s important.”

I could almost feel your friendship die as the quiet one said. “I’ll ask my mom tonight... I’ve got to be going for dinner.”

You exchanged good byes and went your separate ways, and it was a long time before I saw you together again. The happy one only came by occasionally; he would throw stones into the brooke and talk about his day before going back, but the quiet one... you came back often. After a short while, you began to bring the liar with you. I didn’t like him from the moment that he stepped foot into the forest. His words were too heavy and too loaded to be true, but you couldn’t see past his pretty face. And you were angry. Your best friend had betrayed you, and you wanted to prove him wrong with this new boy. The liar. 

I was forced to watch as the liar took advantage of your anxious nature time and time again. It pained me to see love become so tainted and spoiled. When I thought that you couldn’t get any lower, you fell even deeper. I wanted to reach out and stop you so badly...

Then, a while later--far too long, in my opinion--you came sprinting to my brooke, tripping over your false leg and sobbing. You nearly pitched forward into the ground as you came to a sudden stop at the side of the brooke, but I was able to coax the wind into righting you just in time. You fell to your knees, and I sent the water up to lap at your knees in the only comfort I could offer. I knew that the liar had hurt you in some unimaginable way.

And then the happy one came strolling into the forest. He found you crying, and he was at your side in an instant. He comforted you, and in that moment, there were no longer two singular “you”s sitting in front of me; you became one plural “you” once more. Isn’t English interesting? How you can have two singulars and one plural? Your human languages are so odd, but I digress.

You were a whole pair once again, and I was so relieved. When the quiet one’s sobs died down, it was the happy one’s time to cry. He begged forgiveness for his actions, and it was no surprise that forgiveness was given. You hugged and caught up on the past year and a half (I am loath to believe that the liar had been around for that long) and discussed your plans for after high school.

Your visits slowed down after that, and eventually they stopped altogether. I suspect that it was due to “college,” but it hurt nonetheless. I missed hearing your voices and seeing your gentle interactions. It was lonely for a long while, but I was lucky enough to have the company of the trees and animals.

When you returned, you looked much more grown up. The happy one had grown even taller, almost towering over the quiet one, who had cut his hair a bit shorter and found a signature style in purple and black. You also brought along another person, whom I dubbed “the nerd.” I mean, he wore a tie into the forest. If that doesn’t scream “nerd” to you, I don’t know what will!

But the thing that I noticed most out of everything was your hands. They were clasped together. Finally. I had almost given up hope that you two would fall in love. 

I think that the best part of that day was when I realized your intentions. If I were able to cry, I definitely would have as you said your vows, and again when you shared your first kiss as husbands. The nerd pretended that he was disgusted by your affection, but I saw the soft smiles that he forced down. He cares a lot for you. He’s a good friend, even if he is someone who wears a tie in a forest.

Now, I watch as you visit with your children, and I’m happy for you. I’m glad you’re together. Love always prevails, even if it endures some hardships along the way.

[scenecipriano]

A True Love Never Dies Pt.4

Relationships: Roceit, past Anxceit, parental Locet, Parental Royality, Parental Intruality

TW: Mentions of abuse, mentions of breakup, mentioned unsympathetic Virgil, implied toxic anxceit, funeral mention, tw gun mention, tw gun violence mention. 

------------------

Janus sighs as he looks down at a picture of him and Virgil, he traces his finger over his ex’s face. They had been so happy the day it was taken, it was the day after Janus got his first piece published in the New York Times. He shakes his head and buries the picture to the bottom of his suitcase, he shouldn’t be focusing on the past, not when he just had the most amazing day with his childhood best friend. 

Roman had filled him in on everything, telling him how everyone’s been doing since he left, Janus had to admit that he was shocked when he found out about their friend Thomas’ new boyfriend, from what Roman said this one seemed like a keeper. 

Janus learned that Remus had won the blue ribbon last year for growing the largest pumpkin, he learned that his dad and Patton had been meeting just about every day for lunch, and that Emile and Remy finally tied the knot. 

Janus was sad when Roman told him that he himself hasn’t done much, besides helping Thomas down at the theater and drama club at their old school. Janus thought for sure Roman would have left from here and went after his dream of going on Broadway, but life has a funny way of acting up. 

“Janny? Is it okay if I come in?” 

Janus sighs and calls for his father to step inside, he knew that tone, it was time for Janus to explain his sudden flight home. 

“Do I have to tell you the full story or can I just choose the sweet and simple one?” Janus asks when Logan steps inside, the old preacher smiles sadly at his son. 

“I’d like to know the full story… It’s how I can tell Patton whether or not he needs to grab his gun.” 

Janus snorts in amusement and turns to look at his dad. 

“Alright… well… you remember Virgil, right?” 

“Ah, yes… The purple haired degenerate that made you miss your mother’s funeral for a wedding, regrettably I do remember him.” 

Janus rolls his eyes and flops down on his bed, he couldn’t help but laugh when his father flops down next to him. 

“Yeah… well um… we broke up… It… I-it was horrible, daddy. H-He was so angry with me and I don’t know w-why… h-he yelled and threw things at me. I-I was so scared… then… then he told me we were over, told me to get out. S-So I did…” 

Janus wanted to tell his father about the abuse, the verbal and the physical, but he didn’t want to make him worry, not when it was Janus’ fault for happening. 

He tenses up when his father pulls him into a tight embrace, Janus relaxes and buries his face against the older man’s chest. 

“And I’m glad you did, Janny… I rather you be home then to stay in an unsafe environment… Also Patton will be glad to know that he can use his favorite gun on this excuse my French, shithead.” 

Janus lets out a wet laugh, it was always funny when his father would let a curse slip out every now and then. 

“M-Me too… I just… wish I hadn’t wasted eight years on him…” 

‘Wasted eight years on nothing…’ 

“So, Ro-Bro when's the weddin? Do I get to be your best man? I ought to be cause we’ve been together since birth!” 

Roman groans as he flicks a pea at Remus, he snorts when his brother catches the vegetable in his mouth. 

“Now, Roman no wasting food. Besides, I’m curious too kiddo! When are you and Jan gonna go out on a date? You did say he was single now.” Patton chimes in as he cuts into his steak, he could help but smirk at his son’s flustered noises. 

“We haven’t even been on a date! Now, don’t you two start this again, you did this when me and Jan were fifteen! Besides, he obviously doesn’t like me back.” 

Roman looks back down at his plate of food, surely if Janus had felt the same as him he would have told him a long time ago. Janus was always so outspoken, whatever was on his mind he let people know and he always expressed his feelings so passionately. 

“Bullshit! It’s so obvious that he loves you that even a feral cat could see it!” 

Roman looks up and sees Patton smack his brother on the arm, Patton clears his throat and looks at Roman flashing his son a smile. 

“You never know, Ro. Ya know though, your brother and I were thinking about throwing Janny a welcome home party in the barn!” 

“Yep! And you’re the lucky schmuck that’s gonna keep him occupied while we round the whole town up and get everything in place!” 

Roman felt his heart speed up, no no he could do this. 

“Of course… I don’t mind having that job.” 

He was going to be alone with...Janus Leone… the love of his life…

‘I’m so screwed...’

-----------

~TAGLIST~ @therapysides @cemmy @imma-potatoo   @sanderssidesstuffs001 @magic-but-its-green

[siren1song]

Far as He Could Go

Summary: Deceit realizes he's made a mistake. One that's taken many years to develop.

Warnings: Toxic relationship, manipulation, implied unsympathetic Deceit (he's not technically unsympathetic, but he sure did fuck up), unrequited feelings, no happy ending

Pairing: Anxceit (not a healthy relationship)

Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @izzynuggets, @another-sandersidesblog, @strawberryjellystuff, @remusownsmyuwus, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit, @demidork84, @gr3ml1n-loser, @main-chive, @kiribakuandcats, @firey-alex

Commissions!! | Buy Me a Kofi!! | Join Casper's Crew!!

Notes: I heard like two lines from It Took Me By Surprise by Maria Mena and I decided to write angst. A rare occurrence, I know.

Deceit had a desire for control. He had a desperation to be the one to call the shots, an obsession with being on top.

And in the end that's what fucked him over.

There wasn't an intention to be as… manipulative as he now recognized his actions to be. That hadn't been what he wanted, but it's what he got.

His actions lead to genuine hatred from the one side he wanted to love him.

Deceit wasn't sure when it had started. When they were kids and he had spun lies about the hatred from others and Virgil reacted by making Thomas quieter?

Back then their functions had been different. Deceit had just been deceit, and Virgil had been caution and self preservation. 

Was it when they were teens and Deceit's lies had turned Virgil from caution to anxiety?

Deceit being self preservation now had a bit of irony, didn't it? Considering he'd destroyed his sense of home and belonging.

Whenever it had started, it had ended now.

Now when he had tried following Virgil to the light sides. Had heard them use his name that had taken him years to share with even Deceit.

He just hadn't realized it had ended, when he showed up to Virgil's room after the video to talk to him. Ask what the hell did he think he was doing?

"Why the hell do you care?" Virgil had snapped, and Deceit had gone quiet.

His silence made a noticeable spike in anxiety of the room's atmosphere.

Deceit's eyes widened when he noticed the fear and hatred in Virgil's eyes.

"What? You're gonna yell at me for standing my ground? Why not, you've done it for years every time I tried making myself known."

Wait that's not-

Except… it was, wasn't it?

"Virgil-"

"Don't call me that. You lost that right when I realized just how fucked up you treated me."

Deceit could feel his heart sink into his stomach.

This isn't how he wanted things to go. He'd just wanted to know when he'd become friends with them. 

"Get out, Deceit. I don't want to see you in my room again," Virgil said, crossing his arms over his chest and leveling Deceit with a glare that turned his blood to ice.

His function raced through his ears. Virgil hadn't called him Deceit in private since they were kids.

"Wait, Vir- Anxiety, can you… Can you listen to me for a second?" he asked, verbally backpedaling because this situation was suddenly so far out of his control. 

Virgil scoffed.

"What, like you ever listened to me? Every time I tried to tell you how I thought something should go instead of how you planned it, you brushed me off."

Deceit's eyes were burning. Tears filling his eyes because Virgil's words stung with the truth of them.

"God, you're gonna cry now too? Fuck, Deceit, what do you want?" Virgil hissed, lip curling into a snarl.

He saw no sympathy in his eyes.

"I-"

Wait. The truth, maybe that would save this situation? It was something he didn't usually resort to but…

"I want you to love me, I just-"

Virgil cut him off with a scoff, storming closer and not pausing when Deceit stumbled out of his way. He yanked his door open, and placed his palm flat on his chest.

"That's your problem," he snapped, and then promptly shoved Deceit out of his room. 

And Deceit lost control, barely able to hold back his breakdown until he sunk into his own room.