#totally uncalled for though lmaooo

[sugared-violets]

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP...... MY EX GIRLFRIENDS BEST FRIEND/ROOMMATE JUST GOT RECOMMENDED TO ME ON HINGE AS "MOST COMPATIBLE" LMFAO

[adorealeclightwood]

SH Live Review, 3x11: Lost Souls.

I am not ready for this, but here we go. 

I totally forgot Clary was on death row at one point. Damn.

Oh, this recap is hurting my goddamn feelings. 

Simon and Jace on the roof ):

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH ALEC IS UP AND RUNNING. 

WAIT. PAUSE. TIME OUT. HOLD ON. FLAG ON THE PLAY. How much time has passed? Last time I saw Alec, he had a whole arrow in his chest. I know they didn’t just say “fuck it!” and rip it out. Pressing play. 

A decoy? What was that thing?

Why is Jace’s voice so deep? 

Why isn’t he picking up his blades?

JACE WHAT THE FUCK

Ohhh. Oh. Oh man. 

I missed this theme song! THIS IIIIIIIISSS THE HUUUUUUUUUUNT.

Oh my God, Simon with the flashbacks. 

OH MY GOD? He can’t even hurt himself. Fuck, that’s rough. 

Magnus? I’m going to CRY. STOP. 

Jace, don’t you open that door. 

Clary drew him while he was sleeping. Someone get me a drink and some tissues. 

Why does this remind me of that part in Breaking Dawn right before Bella woke up as a vampire? Maybe it’s the lighting. 

Who the hell is that????

BITCH I FORGOT ABOUT JONATHAN LOL. He’s kinda hot.

He’s offering her breakfast like he wasn’t trying to kill her whole crew a few days ago. The nerve. 

Siberia? For what?!

This is so weird. I keep thinking about when he was in Sebastian’s body and he kissed her. Now he wants to be brotherly. Boy bye. 

Clary, it’s cold outside ma’am. 

SHIT Alec is fine. I missed the neck rune. Fuck. Fuck. 

His smile? I’m dead. I am dead. 

YASSSS, MAIA IS BACK!

This is so fucked. I get why she left, but the timing was so shitty. It’s not fair for either of them. 

Simon ):

I am in awe. My man looks incredible. 

Jace literally needs therapy, holy shit. Why is he always by himself? 

“What are you doing?” Oh you know, just redecorating. 

Pauuuuuse. He went through a whole possession, killed innocent people, killed Imogen, damn near killed Clary like three times, begged for them to kill him, stabbed his parabatai, and he still remembers everything. Somebody get him to a psychiatrist ASAP. Pressing play. 

No, Izzy, you really don’t. 

Magnus watching them in the doorway is so precious. I love them. 

Madzie was like “look at the flick of the wrist” and threw a moon lmaooo. She’s too cute. 

Alec doesn’t give one shit about that movie. 

Nana? Excuse me? 

OH GIRL. GET THE FUCK. 

How’d she get in? I thought that hoe was dead? I’m lost. 

You mean to tell me Clary can create runes no one has ever seen, but she can’t activate one to stay warm? Okie-dokie. 

Ah, I see. No magic = no wards. 

WAIT A MINUTE, ARE YOU SEEING WHAT I’M SEEING? ALEC IS ROCKING THE SEASON ONE HAIR. SOUND THE ALARM. THE HAIR/MAKEUP DEPARTMENT HEARD MY CRIES. 

This whole scene is very season one to be honest. 

Oooh, that was an interesting look. 

Alec is such a realist. Jace needs it. 

Jace you know damn well Alec couldn’t kill you. Even after he decided he was going to, he physically couldn’t make himself do it. Lower your voice. 

Both of them have a bit of a death wish if we’re being honest. 

That boss to big brother transition was lovely. 

Damn Izzy, rude much? She’s been in your face for two seconds, chill out. 

GIRL. That was uncalled for. 

Jonathan can’t warm her up either? Well damn. 

Can Iris quit popping up? I almost dropped my fucking cheetos. 

WHAT THE- *sigh*. 

Clary looks mad as hell. I’m hollering. 

STOP. PAUSE. “We’re not that different, you and me.” Guys, I hate that line. Let me turn my caps lock on so you can hear me. I FUCKING HATE THAT LINE. I cringe whenever I read or hear it. It’s overused and...ugh. This whole try-to-make-the-villain-relatable trope needs to die. Every time a character says some shit like that, it’s always a situation where they’re the exact opposite of the person they’re trying to relate/compare themselves to. My blood is officially boiling and my skin is definitely crawling. Next. 

Having shitty parents doesn’t mean you get a pass to try and kill people, Jonathan. 

What is Luke doing in a hotel? I’m lost again. 

Who is Ollie? What?

Luke is such a cop. Look at that wall. 

Oh my God, this dialogue. They’re going the this-dude-sounds-crazy-but-he’s-absolutely-right route. Yawn.

I want Iris dead. 

WELL DAMN. 

My head is spinning. When did Rafael get to Detroit? 

Why is Heidi still alive? Loose ends, tsk tsk. 

Pause. When I hear “oldest vampire in the world”, I think of Klaus Mikaelson. Now I’m crying again. 

“ArE tHe LeGeNdS tRuE” WE HEARD TEN DIFFERENT CHARACTERS SAY THEY WERE TRUE, JUST TELL US WHO THE VAMPIRE IS SO WE CAN GO HOME, SHIT. 

Magnus got that 264 gigabyte memory. 

He knows it’s a trick though, right? Right?

I’m willing to bet money that’s not Madzie. 

I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT. 

I forgot she could throw the whip!

Gia ain’t shit. 

Alec and Magnus stay circling each other like cats. 

LMAOOO HIS FACE. 

Can Simon and Maia kiss and make up already? My chest hurts. 

Jonathan was gone all night and came back with a few twigs for firewood? BOY IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND GRAB SOME LOGS. 

CLARY ARE YOU SERIOUS? DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE MARK LILITH GAVE YOU? You literally held a knife to your own throat and threatened to kill yourself in order to kill Jonathan. Remember!?

Girl, I guess. 

We really hit the ground running huh? I have so many questions. 

[sixmorningsafter]

Chapter 14 Review - Intimacy and evasiveness in equal measure

Thank you so so much for this chapter; you are freaking awesome. At this point, your fic is longer than most PhD thesis. You’re completely bonkers, in the absolute best way. Please never change. Seriously, the level of interactivity in this fic is such fun and thank you for encouraging that. Some of the recent fancasts have been beyond amazing.

Gabi: “the level of interactivity in this fic is such fun” - you mean how I take fifty fucking years to respond to reviews that legitimately make my life!?!?!?!?! THAT LEVEL OF INTERACTIVITY!?!?! LMAO, gurl, can I just say before I dive into any of this that this review literally made me go back and edit some parts, that’s how helpful it was, and yet here I am, answering it an entire CHAPTER LATER!? For some reason the feedback for fourteen was really slow at first and then all of a sudden like 10 giant reviews came in at the same time, and I just took way too long to get around to all of them and kept answering the short ones first (because they take less thought/time), and then once I was done answering the short ones I was drained because I’m weak and wouldn’t survive the winter. BUT HERE I AM. Ten years later. Ready to friggin go. LET’S DO IT.

Firstly, I can’t believe you stopped before the Steroline sex! Rude. I would have been devastated (melodramatic OTT much) had you not given us one of the best SC kisses ever. Honestly, I think I might have sighed a little out loud. And after Stefan’s stupid assed, jealousy mental meltdown, Caroline demonstrates exactly why he has no need to be jealous in one sentence - “Damon could do all those things without it once being intimate.” It’s really obvious that ‘intimate’ is a mental thing for Caroline, I loved watching the switch click in Caroline’s mind from non intimate to intimate. Oh Caroline - you poor silly girl, you’ve got it bad!

Gabi: So, the plus side of answering this once 15 is already up is that I don’t have to feel bad about blue ballsing anyone anymore, muahahaha. Steroline sex is officially up and out there and there’s no taking it back now. Re: 14, though, love alllll of these insights and the particular moments of theirs that you choose to compare and contrast. They’re both stupid levels of in denial here, but the good news is the end of 15 and hopefully the majority of 16 is a bit of a new era for them - one where they actually try, I don’t know, communicating? It’s going to be wild. 

The part where they are watching YouTube videos together and eating Caroline’s secret food stash (naughty Caroline keeping treats from the other inmates of 2B - tsk, tsk) was very sweet and surprisingly intimate in it’s own right. I love how they have elements of easy friendship that they don’t even seem to recognise. I’m very interested in how their sexy timez are going to go because they could be hot, sweet or kind of silly/jokey or maybe all three. I think it’s going to get intimate whether Caroline likes it or not; Stefan may even bust out some of his Disney Prince romance vibes. I’m so intrigued as to who their third wheel could be.

Gabi: I really enjoyed writing that scene for exactly that reason - that somehow, these two super awkward people with a bunch of confusion and tension between them keep finding themselves in random moments of easygoing camaraderie, and all it really takes for that to happen is time and/or a distraction. I’m trying to hint at a possible future for them that doesn’t have all of this drama, that’s actually driven by a genuine enjoyment of spending time together and light-hearted banter and a warm hum of affection, but their poor coping/communication skills from their past experiences are just getting in that way of it. And hahaha, re: sexy timez, now you know! Disney Prince romance vibes definitely happened and Caroline, well... had some conflicts with it. As for the silly/jokey thing, I wouldn’t rule that out just yet for future scenes.

I know you are trying to achieve balance between your characters. At this point, I feel I know a lot about Stefan, Bonnie and Caroline, but with Damon, he’s still a mystery.

I both love and hate that we don’t know more.

Love - because I know you are being all clever and writery and keeping it from us on purpose. That having us see Damon through the other characters’ eyes is a clever way of 'revealing’ titbits without revealing them. Even Damon’s internal monologue is super evasive and kind of shallow (compared to Bonnie’s about him which was downright hilarious and completely nuts especially the hitman, Bonnie the world’s most boring mark lmao).

Hate - because I am such an impatient spoiler seeking nut bag, I need to know everything! Look honestly though, if you had told me before this started that I would actually be interested in Damon as a character himself, not as Bonnie’s boyfriend or Stefan’s brother, I would have scoffed at you. See Gabi, this is the power you wield. Use it wisely! Mwah ha ha.

Gabi: SOOO it was definitely still in the typical evasive flashes-of-insight format that Damon’s PoV tends to operate in, but I think 15 hopefully gave you a little more of what you were looking for regarding him? His guard was forcibly down for a bit, and his head went more into his complicated relationship with his mom, and part of the reason why I didn’t tie his panic attack fully up in 15 was because I’m carrying that arc into 16. There’s definitely aftermath, there’s definitely Bonnie the Hufflepuff making him feel unsettling things and think more about his life, and there’s also some Kai/Damon stuff that’ll have echoes of Damon/Tyler. So much more Damon ahead! And GURL, you don’t even know how happy it makes me to hear that re: ‘if you had told me before this started that I would actually be interested in Damon as a character’. That’s like the biggest compliment to me for some reason, like it gets me so hyped, so thanks so, so much for telling me! It’s tough to get people to like characters even when they’re blank slates, so getting someone to actually come around to someone they weren’t about before is like YAAAAAAS. 

In all seriousness, Damon didn’t deserve the kicking he got from Stefan in the opening scene. Sorry Stef, that was uncalled for even if Damon did start it. While this scene was all about Stefan’s pov and his reactions, Damon’s evasiveness is totally in character. Even though he’s oh-so-not-bothered, Stefan’s assessment of him has to smart a bit. I hope these two crazy kids work it out. I need my drigh!brotp back together. (Quick aside about Stefan – I hope at some point, he’s going to fess up that it wasn’t about Damon, Bonnie, Caroline or even Elena. It was about his own feelings of insecurity. It’s like Bonnie’s rampage of self-destruction as the person most hurt by this is himself. It’s actually very canon Stefan.)

Gabi: He definitely didn’t deserve it, and I wanted to write it that way because I wanted to show that Stefan, like everyone else in this godforsaken headache of a story, is a flawed character who gives into emotional reactions and insecurity sometimes and acts out. Like I really wanted to make it clear that Stefan was in the wrong there, and I really wanted to do it at Damon’s expense because at the shallowest of glances, Damon would be the guy you’d assume can be asshole sometimes and Stefan would be the guy you’d label as the patient, understanding saint, and 14 chapters in, I really wanted to flip that. As harmlessly trolly as Damon can be to Stefan about Caroline, turns out that Stefan is the one who drew first blood between them, you know? And I think you’re totally right about the oh-so-bothered-but-not-really thing re: Damon - he’s been called terrible things his whole life, so he’s learned how to let them slide off him like butter, but even butter leaves a trail, you know? They definitely add up to a perception he has of himself that’s probably darker/less flattering than it needs to be, and Bonnie absolutely confronts that in 16. She’s kind of like, ‘hey, newsflash dark and twisty, you’re a good guy’. She has a little speech I’ve written out that I really like. Lots of feelsiness coming in 16, man. Including Stefan insights and realizations about insecurity!

I’m still super interested by Damon’s two identities. Are the two different dates of birth significant? Him not mentioning anything after Bonnie fessing up to poking in his wallet - evasive much? So he doesn’t take his Fell ID out normally? I need more details, here, stop trying to kill me.

Gabi: lololol, got a little more of this in 15! I’m not sure how much was obvious from the story because Damon’s thoughts about his past always come out super jagged when I write them (and obviously I know the whole thing ‘cause I’m making it up, lmao), but I think I gave enough to kind of explain why he had that ID on him? Maybe?

Bonnie telling him all about her sex dreams had him speechless and I loved that. Yes, he was very much – that’s ok Bon, sexy daydreams are fine, but I still think there was an element of him being chuffed about it. That was really cute; I liked that his reaction wasn’t to grab her and lay one on her - she did that instead (oh Bon, you saucy minx). I loved their kiss, so hot; I really like their connection, it has a more brutal honesty to it than Steroline’s. By that I mean that Caroline lets Stefan get away with more introspection because that’s what suits her, whereas Damon pushes Bonnie to lay out her soul for him because he really wants someone to do it back to him, deep down. I may be over analysing this and be completely wrong.

Gabi: LMAOOO, ‘you saucy minx’ - she really is. And Damon is all about it. And no, you’re 100% spot on in your analysis of the two ships, assss usual - I think that’s a brilliant way to put it. Damon doesn’t wonder as much about Bonnie because he pushes, in more ways than one, till she gives him answers. He’s confrontational. Blunt. And Bonnie needs that, because her insecurities and problems are so deeply, deeply entrenched into her that they’re basically covered in layers of cement. You can’t slowly uncover that, you need a jack hammer (vs. for Caroline and Stefan, the wounds are still a little too fresh and shallow for a jackhammer to do anything except make it worse. They need the gentle discovery). Damon’s a bit of a paradox in that he’s either 100% blithe and flippant and dgaf, or he’s 100% blunt and real talk, and generally he uses the first mode to evade and the second mode to investigate. Problem is, Bonnie’s a bit of a jackhammer herself, and I think 15 was the beginning of the tide shifting to Damon being the one under the spotlight. And we’ll see how he likes that moving forward. Payback’s a bitch.

Did I detect that Damon might have a slight bird phobia? A dove in your shower is never good, but he seemed more than a little nervous. Also how is his hand doing? Dr Bon needs to follow up her patients better. I am kind of surprised how prompt he was for Kai’s dinner. Does Damon have immaculate time keeping? Or he is genuinely terrified of Kai? I guess I’m kind of struggling to find Kai scary, a bit loopy, somewhat odd, but I was really surprised that Damon would be scared of him (I have blanked out the crossbow in his face episode). We know he can handle himself in a fight (thank you for that Caroline) and he’s survived that gunshot as a child. Damon strikes me as being hard as nails (except around Bon) - Kai should be a cakewalk. Does he recognise something in Kai that he might have experienced in his past? Chapter 15 should be illuminating - I really hope we get plenty from his pov. I can’t wait.

Gabi: You did and it was totally unintentional. I actually went back and read over the way I’d written it after this feedback and totally got the same vibe (it was meant to be humorous but definitely came across as a little deeper than that), so thanks so much for pointing this out! I did a few little edits that I think put forth a more accurate picture of both the bird reaction (annoyance, bafflement, Damon in general being a growly diva) and his immaculate time-keeping (which was definitely supposed to be the focus more so than any actual fear of Kai, which, lmao, I think 15 makes pretty clear doesn’t exist). I think I could maybe argue that getting attacked by a dove in the shower could carry a bit of trauma from his basement-with-rats days, but even so, he’d hide that, so. Edited and more accurate thanks to bomb feedback!

ANYWAY, THIS IS ONCE AGAIN 600 YEARS LATE but oddly, it was kind of fun answering it with 15 already written? In any case, I’m so friggin’ sorry it took me this long to respond, and your feedback, as always, is one of my fave things about writing this fic because it’s always so hilarious and insightful. Thanks so, so much for this review, and hopefully 15 delivered the things you were after and 16 will deliver them even more. LOVE YA, BABE!