#totally not a parallel to the tattoo I have for him irl

[ohbandera]

👕Appearance 19 for lazlo: If your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?

He's got two in the werewolf AU I'm building with my husband. One is a weird lion he sees in his dreams, and the other is one he refuses to show people & usually covers up.

[kaurwreck]

Whatcha think of how Mori is depicted by Asagiri? People are always mad about it, so I do wonder your own opinion of it.

I think Kafka Asagiri is cheeky and clever, but I'm not very objective about his choices because I knew next to nothing when I first began watching the anime, and researching complex, multidisciplinary, and context-laden subject matter about which I have very little prior knowledge is something I love doing so much that I've made it my career and most of my hobbies. I'm very, very easily delighted by layers I can sink my teeth into, and I get immense satisfaction (i.e., a lot of dopamine) from untangling patterns, recognizing references, and exploring contours I hadn't initially noticed by deepening my contextual knowledge.

The rush I get from learning means that engaging from a starting place of near total ignorance and then retroactively piecing together more information ensures I'm continously starry eyed and dazzled by the depth I'm perceiving. But I'm an American reader who was entirely unfamiliar with the Japanese literary references or relevant Japanese history prior to watching the anime or reading the manga, and I'm piecing together context from limited English-language resources. So, much of what I'm getting a rush out of learning for the first time is likely common knowledge to the native Japanese audience. It's easy to think that the water is deep when you first jump in and can't touch the ground.

For an example of how my unfamiliarity manifests as bias: I love Fitzgerald as an antagonist and then uneasy ally, and I enjoy that Fitzgerald's skill manifests as green light. But I've already chewed his themes and source material references to bits, having studied the Great Gatsby and its period-relevance re: the disillusionment of the jazz age in high school. I was already familiar with the significance of the green light to Fitzgerald's relationship with wealth and how it enchants him such that he becomes so obsessed with its hazy distortion of his dreams that he forgets himself. I liked how the anime and manga both interpret the green light, and I especially like how the green light wraps around his body, lightly paralleling Chuuya's Corruption runes and thus tinting Fitzgerald's skill with the suggestion of possession/loss of control.

But although it's a lot of fun to trace those familiar patterns in a novel interpretation, it can't compare to the thrill I felt when I belatedly realized that Vita Sexualis isn't erotica but instead a skeptical reflection on sex and the purported objectivity of naturalism; or when I learned that irl!Mori was the most girl dad to ever girl dad. With Mori, my expectations were subverted, Mori's character became brilliantly nuanced where he was flat to me before, and I felt the same rush of pleasure as if I was made privy to an inside joke. Fitzgerald felt comparatively like rediscovering a favorite blanket buried in the back of my closet; warm and fond, but not gripping or perspective-shifting. (Unlike when I first read the Great Gatsby, and thought it saturated in clever and well wrought commentary that complicated my prior feelings and prompted me to grapple with my own sources of green light.)

In other words, I don't have any objectivity here for the same reason I shouldn't be trusted regarding how badly any of my tattoos hurt. I remember vaguely that they did, but the process flooded me with enough endorphins that the edges of my memories are blunted and tinted rose.

So, to actually answer your question, I think Kafka Asagiri's depiction of Mori is brilliant and witty and subversive, layered with insight into the blurred lines between love and imperative, fear and intuition. I think Mori is emotionally wrought but manicured with pathological attenuation, which renders his bursts of passion all the more compelling. He's also funny and silly and horrifying in how his levity only ornaments and never softens the weight and gravitas of his presence.

I used to feel like Kafka Asagiri's suggestive playfulness regarding Mori was in bad taste, given the severity of the implications. I don't anymore; Kafka Asagiri is hardly as irreverent as academic commentary on Mori Ogai's medical legacy regarding beriberi or Mari Mori's love for him. I wouldn't enjoy Mori nearly as much if he were reduced to an easily digested archetype or caricature without any of the dissonance that humanizes him.

I also can't take seriously my own first impressions of Mori's character either; I've rewatched and reread bsd several times over, and I can't recall the narrative ever affirming or validating my initial presumptions. I reacted rather than engaged, which is fine as an instinct, but I certainly shouldn't conflate it with analysis.

But, as I said, I'm not objective about bsd. I think Kafka Asagiri is brilliant and fun and thoughtful. I think Mori is a watermelon full of hamburger meat that I love gnawing. I think bsd is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Carthago delenda est.

[huenjin]

the devil’s tango.

summary — and when your demon boyfriend's best friends ruin your valentine's day plans with said demon boyfriend by lighting up a restaurant in flames, they make sure to apologise well. or, in which jisung, changbin and chan show you all the ways a devil can fuck a woman.

pairing — 3racha x reader

genre — smut | demons!au

ratings — 18+

word count — 14.4k words

warnings — mentions of flame, indications of objectification, mentions of themes of afterlife, heaven and hell | smut specifications under the cut

note — the way this was written only thanks to @chaangbin​ and her sprinto discord thing pwp and is totally inspired from this one nsfw asmr i chanced upon on reddit. happy reading and sinning, babes.

smut warnings —

i. groping, dirty talk, objectification, car sex, marking, slight temperature play, thigh riding, dirty talk, slight blood play (jisung gets a slight rush !!), grinding, fingering, sir kink, nipple play, clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, ruined orgasm;

ii. changbin calls you baby girl (!!), choking, cunnilingus, dirty talk, dumbification (changbin talks a loooot dirty, heads up !!) nipple play, breast play, pain kink, spitting, marking, so so so much marking omfg, intercrural sex, clitoral stimulation, unprotected sex (better safe than anything else irl okay?), squirting, overstimulation, reader slips into subspace, changbin's kinda hard on the reader; chan bring you back from subspace because he's protective like that !!!

iii. tattooed!chan — chan has this huge dark feathered wing tattoo in his back omf and the reader has a tattoo kink, of sorts— dick piercing!chan, tongue piercing!chan, so !! much !! making !! out !!, calls you princess throughout the story because you are one, nipple play, breast play, daddy kink, grinding, spanking, pain kink, degradation (but chan like gives reader heads up in such a nice way because chan best boy !!), teasing cause chan won't give it to you just like that !!!, so much begging, pussy slapping, clitoral stimulation, cunnilingus, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, penetration, unprotected sex (wrap it before you snap it!), bulge kink, creampie, slight after care.

Chan thinks Valentine's Day is a marketing scheme by the very commercial, capitalistic world. 

Not that his devilish self cared when he could have all the luxuries in the world in his hand by the very thought of it. Chan doesn't care even more because you, his girlfriend, loved Valentine's Day more than anything in this world, second only to your love for him. If anything, you loved Valentine's Day this much because of him.

And that is exactly why he is driving down the neat lane to this newly opened restaurant, right across the town, that you have been hyping up for months now. His fingers wrap around the steering wheel, shoes pressed flat against the gas as his other hand lies gently on your exposed thigh, thanks to your little black skirt riding up to his delight.

"Thank you for doing this," you mumble, your right hand shifting to place itself on top of his hand and grip at it softly. "You know, even after you hate all the couples out there, ever to exist."

Chan laughs, a hearty one in fact. His thumb rubs against the palmar side of your hand — one of the many affectionate things your devil does for you, albeit all the times he reminds you he is second to Lucifer himself.

"I don't hate them all." Lie. Chan knows that's an obvious lie and so do you. You click your tongue and your boyfriend bites his lower lip in a sheepish action, momentarily glancing at you before bringing his attention back on the road. "I like us. We make such a power couple. If anything, we should be the only couple to exist. Valentine's Day should exist for only one couple and that should be us."

Raising your eyebrows before letting it fall, face softening up instantly as you gaze at your boyfriend's side profile, you coo, "Aw. I see finally that there are things the devil too doesn't get at his will."

"You were one amongst them," Chan sniggers, his hand slowly trailing upwards as they shift from underneath your hand's grip. "But look where we are now."

Your breath hitches as his fingers slightly trace parallel lines as they move upwards and your eyelids flutter a bit. The pads of his fingers are hot against the coldness of your skin and the temperature difference is great enough to raise goosebumps on them.

"Chan." It's a whisper. Almost as if a great amount of determination is required for you to make this decision to turn him down. "You are driving. Plus, let's not ruin the night already. You've booked us a nice table in this amazing restaurant on this beautiful night."

"But I could make it even better." Chan licks his lower lip as he presses on the brakes, the heavy traffic stopping him from proceeding further. His hand is now completely underneath your skirt, short enough to his pleasure, fingers edging so close to your panties that your head involuntarily shifts back and your lips part.

You have been dating him for months now and every single time he touches you, you feel like a starved woman craving for every drop of his affection, desiring every part of him. Chan has been more than willing to comply, however. Your body reacts to his touches and his kisses like you are on heat and every time your boyfriend points it out, you blame it on his extraterrestrial, hellish skills; that he had you in his control.

Little do you know that it is the other way round. That Chan chooses to stay in the mortal world for you, to be with you. That he knows he will have to part with you one day when you shift over to the other side and maybe you could have sinned enough to be with him in the other world too. However, Chan knows how much God loves playing his cards and for that, he'll seize every single moment he gets with you.

All because he loves you. He is in love with you. 

Chan realises this a few weeks back. Of course, he feels the weird thing humans call butterflies when you are so understanding of him being hell's very spawn. However, it is when you cook dinner for him as you wait for him to come, or how you ask him about his day and listen ardently that he realises: hell could never be worthy enough to have someone as beautiful as you. He shouldn't deserve you — fuck, the very act of him laying his filthy eyes on you should have sent your guardian angel into a frenzy but you chose him. You chose to be with him and for that, he'd mayhaps, thank that lousy old God up in the heavens. 

"Dinner first," you strictly say. You remove his hand from underneath your skirt, wrapping your hand around his as you hold it up to kiss his knuckles. "When we get back home, I promise. In fact, I'll be the one to jump at you as soon as we reach the doorsteps." Chan laughs, mumbling, "Ah, my baby girl, my princess," under his breath and turns to look at the signal that has changed to green. He presses on the gas, speeding to reach the place on time as per reservations. 

Having Chan's hand in yours roots you in confidence from your biggest fear deep down — that he would fade away from your life one day and worse, he'd take away the memories with him to rid you of the pain from his absence. His calloused hand grips onto yours and you hold it close to your chest, shutting your eyes for a minute because this is what Valentine's Day is all about for you. Bang Chan and everything your devil of a boyfriend is. He has shown you both heaven and hell and even though you did not believe in the afterlife, you do not mind going to hell, especially not if he is there with you. 

"Why is there smoke up in the air?" Chan asks himself in absolute confusion as he takes the right on the road to the restaurant. Upon finding a neat parking spot about a hundred meters away from the restaurant, he gets out of the car, rushing to your side to open the door for you like a true gentleman. 

"Why, thank you!" You giggle, hand slapping right across your lips at the unpleasant sound that leaves your mouth and Chan smiles so widely at you, almost as if he is looking at his whole world right before him. You get out of the car and Chan closes the door right behind you.

"You look so damn pretty today, baby," Chan hugs you by the waist temporarily and snuggles into your neck, only to leave a quick kiss against it. You push him slightly and Chan chuckles, raising his right hand, that is not held by you, to protest. "I'm not making a move. We did get dressed well so let's have a nice romantic dinner first and when we get back home—" His voice drops a note lower. "We'll have a hot night and let this Valentine's Day wrap up rightfully as it should."

"And what's the right way, Mr. Hotshot Devil?"

"With my dick wrapped around your sweet little pussy," he smiles, lips extending so wide across his face that your cheeks heat up. He leans closer, pressing his lips against the pinna of your ears as he whispers, "You'll be begging me over and over and I'll treat you like the good little girl you are for me."

Your breath hitches and a flustered broken gasp leaves your lips as your fingers dig into his forearm. Chan's harmonious laughter over having made you a flustered mess rings in your ear till it is cut off by loud screams and foggy vision thanks to dark grey smoke. 

"That's a lot of smoke," you comment worried as your boyfriend takes you by his hand and walks you down the road to the restaurant. He takes small strides to let you walk at ease. "I wonder if something is on— Fuck. The restaurant is in flames. It's on fire. Fuck."

Chan's eyes widen and he stares at the fire long enough to see two figures making their way towards you. Two very familiar faces too hard for him to ever forget, especially because Chan has spent more than a millennium with them. 

"Jisung? Changbin?"

"Do you know them, baby?" You whisper into his ears, hiding slightly behind him as you cower at the magnanimous presence of the two individuals before you. 

"Sometimes I wish I didn't," he rolls his eyes and folds his arms as he looks at the two younger demons in a gaze filled with doubt and suspicion. 

"You lie!" The taller of the two says. "We had ramen together and you know ramen is exactly the way for people to bond."

"That's Jisung," Chan introduces as he slightly brings you forward. Your fingers play with the end of your short skirt, trying to bring it further down as the two men — demons, you presumed — looked at you and almost seemed to be studying you. "And the one by his side is Changbin."

"We've been friends for a while," Jisung informs and judges at Changbin who still continues to stare at you in displeasure. Did one of Chan's friends already not like you? You guess it is normal but deep down you know it hurts. You have always had the innate tendency to make sure that everyone liked you and the very thought of Chan's friends disliking you puts you to this sorrow as much as you hate to agree to it. 

"Stop scaring my girlfriend, Bin," Chan glares back at the shorter of the two before drifting his attention to Jisung and enquiring, "How did this even happen?"

"That's on me. I crashed my car into the restaurant," Jisung rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. Your eyes widen and you look further beyond the two men to see a beautiful red Maserati driven into the restaurant, caught in flames just as the whole building is. 

"The people!" You scream, rushing forward. Chan holds your wrist in worry, holding you back, and you look at your boyfriend with eyebrows furrowed in concern. "They are my people."

Changbin scoffs, mumbling under his breath, "Stupid humans and their weird sense of morality at all the wrong times." Your heart drops at his words and Chan lets go of your hand, only to take a step forward in Changbin's direction, eyes narrowing at the demon. 

Jisung laughs hesitantly, slipping right between the two males and pushing them away. He looks at you and rushes forward to lean close to you. You are taken aback by the sudden invasion of your personal space but something in his eyes holds you fixed, enamored by his whole being. 

"There are no casualties, sweetheart. Don't worry!" 

Jisung leans back soon after, standing firm on his toes, and turns to look at your boyfriend. Smiling as wide as you've seen any devil smile, he prompts, "Since all our Valentine's Day plans got ruined, what if we spent it together?" He glances at you and you look away, eyes catching Changbin's who still looks at you in suspicion. 

"I—" 

"Jisung," Chan warns.

Jisung rushes to Changbin's side. Directing his attention towards you all while nudging the hell out of Changbin's side, he wiggles his eyebrows, "He may seem rude like this but trust me, he's the tsundere kind of lover."

"What the fuck," Changbin mumbles and turns his head away. "I'm not saying anything."

Your boyfriend is very flustered at the very happenings around him. Jisung suggesting a possibility of a wild night, the restaurant going into flames, and his girlfriend, albeit looking scared, positively looking at this whole proposal — maybe it has been too long since he has been away from hell for the mere chaos to fluster him.

Without a word said further to his friends, he pulls you away. You bite your lower lip, nibbling and pulling at the dead skin. Chan quickly takes your hand in his, eyes fixing on yours and staying in silence for a short while till he finally asks, "Are you okay?"

"Can I be honest?"

"Yes, please."

"Are all your friends this hot and a solid mess?"

"Should I be offended?" A soft chuckle leaves his lips when he sees you joke nervously. 

"No, no." You hit his arms, jokingly. You draw circles onto his arm and bring the topic forward finally. "I know I might have looked like I was taken aback — I was — but remember how we had this talk once about bringing people into our sex lives," you gulp, "I think this is a great moment to see if we'd like it in our relationship."

"Are you sure?" Chan's hand frames your face and you lean into it. 

"One hundred percent."

"These are demons, baby," he hesitates. 

"And you're a demon too. Stop stating the obvious, Chan. Plus, I have you."

"Are the two of you done?" Jisung asks loudly. You hold Chan's wrist and drag him towards his friends. Changbin raises an eyebrow at the sudden beam of confidence that radiates from you. 

"We are. I'm Y/N," you finally introduce yourself. "Sorry for being awkward in the beginning—"

"Oh, don't be," Changbin mumbles, gaze still wary of you. "Jisung tends to have that effect on people."

"Hey!"

"Anyhow," Changbin finally smiles tonight. "Thanks to someone," He glares at Jisung, "We lost both our dinner and our car. So do you mind if we travel with you?"

"Oh, no," you clasp your hands together. "We'll give you a ride back to our place. Chan could cook us something," you smile at your boyfriend and he merely shrugs.

"And we can let the night roll into whatever it is, right?" Jisung's gaze is different, almost like he's insinuating a thousand different sex positions in one look. 

"Yes," you say after a long pause and an audible gulp. "We can let the night roll into whatever setting it turns to."

"Lead the way, princess," Jisung's arms move in abduction and you smile, skin wrinkling by your eyes at his chirpy self. You walk forward to the car and Chan slows down his strides to walk with the boys. 

His arms wrap around the shoulders of both the demons and he pulls them closer to sharply whisper. "You fucking hurt her and I'll have both your arses burning in the hottest flames in hell. I swear to Lucifer."

"What if she likes it?" Changbin raises an eyebrow, almost provoking Chan and your boyfriend glares back at him equally, gritting his teeth and almost growling. 

With clenched teeth, he restates, "Keep it tame," and lets go of them.

Chan should know better. Nothing is tame for the men in hell.

Changbin calls shotgun, putting you next to Jisung in the back seat while Chan drives the car.

"This is consensual, right?" Jisung asks again. There is concern lacing his face and Changbin sighs, mumbling, "She has said she wants us more than ten times, Sungie."

"Chan, you're alright with me fucking your girlfriend in the back while you drive?"

Chan's breath hitches, coughs entailing and you smile at how lost he looks for a minute as he turns back in worry, slowing the car down. "In the back or in the back of the car?"

"You never know. Maybe she might like it."

"Don't you dare!"

"Fine," he begrudgingly agrees. 

"As long as she's okay with it. Do not make her uncomfortable at all, guys," Chan sighs and turns back, pressing on the gas and almost taking all his thoughts out on it. You blush, cheeks staining a shade lighter and heat rising up as soon as you feel Jisung edge closer to you. In the front seats, Changbin talks to Chan, catching up on every single thing they have missed out in these years.

In the back seat, however, Jisung has different plans. A whole different plan to break you down into putty in his hands. 

"So, it seems like you are the girl that Chan wouldn't stop talking about and fawning over," Jisung's voice is huskier in the low tone he chooses to speak in to keep the conversation just between the two of you. "Nice to meet you, lovely. I'm Jisung. Now that I see you, I realise what all the fuss is about. You really are breathtaking."

You giggle, "You flatter me. Do all demons sweet talk this well?"

"Only the finest," Jisung winks. His hand wraps around your forearm and he slowly asks again, "It is alright for me to fuck you, right?"

The crudeness of the word in front of not just you but also two other demons leaves you flustered. Jisung pushes your hair strands that have gotten loose and fall to cover your eyes, behind your ears. 

"Yes, it is," you repeat for what you have counted in your head as the eleventh time. "It's totally alright, Jisung."

"Then, can I come closer?" You nod and Jisung edges forward, closer than he already is. "You know how us demons work, right?"

"Uh," you look down at your hands on your skirt. "You get wild every now and then." Jisung hums in approval, cupping your face with his left hand.

"Bingo, you're right!" Jisung grips your face a little stronger than a second before. "We, demons, love to go wild." He scoffs and continues, "Your boyfriend loves to play nice and pretend like he doesn't lose control and has only virtuous thoughts. All a big fucking facade to hide the fact that he just wants to bend you over and fuck you—" Jisung kisses your neck right underneath your face. "—Again and," he kisses your jugular. "Again and again." 

"I however am not. I like to do a lot of things to you."

Jisung bites sharply into your neck, sucking at the skin. The lewd noises resonate in the locked car and you know your boyfriend can hear each moan and each sound that comes from the back seat. The car moves only faster and Jisung's action matches the pace. He lets go of your neck only to crash his lips against yours, sucking in your lower lip as he kisses your hard. His arms snake around your frame and push you against him. 

You moan against his lips. It's volatile, you realise. Jisung's kisses are volatile. One minute they are harsh against your lips, strong enough to bruise them with cuts, and the very next minute, there is nothing softer than his lips or the goosebumps that trail your skin that he touched after untucking your shirt.

His skin is hot against yours, hot enough to raise goosebumps again on your skin. His lips are warmth personified and his grip makes you want to go unhinged 

He pulls back, lips parting and looking sinfully delectable. "It's in moments like these, princess, I realise how different our body temperatures are. How much warmer demons always are compared to humans. It must feel nice to have warm hands over you, doesn't it?" Jisung removes his hand from your bare skin and from underneath your white shirt. You gasp at the lack of contact, your skin feeling irritably cold all over again, and move closer into him.

"What a needy human," Jisung chuckles, and in the very blink of your eyes, he unbuttons your first two ones, exposing your black bra, laced to perfection, to him. "That's a pretty one. You really did go all out for Chan, did you not, princess?"

"I did. I wanted him to fuck me stupid and make me his tonight," you agree boldly and the car jolts to a stop suddenly. You are pushed forward into Jisung's warmth, your half-naked self pressed against Jisung's nice shirt. Changbin chuckles, looking at Chan and you turn to the side to see the traffic. You whisper again, "I still want him to fuck me stupid tonight."

"Oh, you are going to be all of ours tonight. We are going to make you such a slut for demon cock, princess. Make you greedy and desperate for it."

You are in the public. You are on the road, visible for any child or adult to look into your car only to see all the lustful deeds out in the open. You should have felt embarrassed, quivering in nothing but shame. However, all these triggers are for you to get wetter, panties sticking to your core and your grip to tighten on Jisung's arms. 

Jisung's hand moves back to unhook your bra. He lets it fall off your shoulders slightly before taking your left breast in his arms and bringing his face closer to it. He sucks on your left nipple, nipping on the areola around. His hand massages the right breast over the black lace bra and your head lolls forward. Your hand tightens around his shoulder and you desperately crave some friction in your nether regions. 

"Can I sit on your thigh, please?" You beg and Jisung's mouth leaves your nipple only to look up at you. 

"Only if you call me sir."

Jisung has an immaculate grip on your waist as he lifts you slightly, holding you mid-air and not letting you settle down on his thigh until you call him by what he desires to be called.

"Please let me sit on your thigh, sir."

"You're a good girl," and Jisung drops you down on his thigh. You blush at how Jisung calls you a good girl. You like being called names. Be it a good girl or a slut, the words coming out from them right during sex made you feel unique and special. Your skirt rides up and your wet panties are pressed flat against his nice formal pants. He kisses your lips again, this time biting into your lower lip and drawing a bit of the blood. The copper taste does nothing for the demon exactly, besides indulging him in a slight high he could almost get off on. You seethe against him and your hips grind down on his thigh almost unknowingly. Your lips part behind your panties, the two materials underneath and his flexed thigh providing you enough to ease the lust and thirst of wanting to feel more. 

"Does this feel good?" You moan in response and Jisung's eyes sparkle. "Ah, look at the expressions you are making." His hands grip tightly on your hips as he resolves to go back to your breasts and suck on them till the nipples harden for him and the areola swells up. His hands help your hips to move against his thigh quickly, soaking his navy blue pants darker. Your covered clit rubs over and over against his flexed thighs and the moans that leave your lips are loud and unhinged.

"Sir, ah, ah—" Your hands drop to hover your palm over his covered cock that rubs against your outer thigh. "I want more, sir. Fuck, fuck, I want more. Please, sir." And just as you begged, Jisung bites slightly into your breast just when he lets go of your hips and plunges two fingers into your wet lips, pushing the panties and skirt aside slightly. With your pussy filled with his fingers, Jisung continues to suck on your breasts and little kisses and hickeys all over them. 

Your moan is the loudest so far this night in that minute. His fingers are long and bony and they hit your walls and push against them exactly the way you like. Your pain and pleasure senses, both activated, seemed to be mixing signals leaving you with a slow, slow path to euphoria. "You like that, princess? Tell me."

"Your fingers feel so good, sir." You move against his thighs quickly, grinding on it rough as your pussy is stuffed with his fingers. "Sir, sir— Fuck, sir. There." Jisung curves his fingers, the joints by his finger rubbing against your spot, deep inside that has your thighs shivering and your whole body aching for more. He rubs against the spot till you gasp over and over again and he's laughing like the very devil he is.

"Oh my god, you're so wet for me, princess. You are dripping." Jisung quickly stills you on his thighs, his other hand digging into your hips. "I'm going to go a little—" He pulls out slightly before thrusting his fingers back in. 

"Sir, oh my god," your voice pitches higher and Jisung takes the positive signs well. He pushes his fingers back in after pulling them out. His forefinger moves away from the middle all while they are deep inside of you, stretching your walls apart and the sensation rules you up further as you move down, pulling him deeper and making you feel fuller than a second before. His fingers scissors inside of you, enhancing the sensations against your soft wet walls 

"You're so needy, princess. You like that, huh? Does it feel nice to have my fingers wide apart inside of you? Do you like it when I curl them up?" And Jisung curls them, eliciting a loud groan from you and your head dropping into his shoulder as you can feel yourself edge closer. 

He thrusts them faster. The lewd noises from your arousal gushing out and being pushed back in thanks to his fingers is intensified in the small space and your moans are like spice. Jisung sucks on your neck as his fingers hit your spot over and over again till the knot tightens so much that tears well up in your eyes and you pray he pushes you over the boundary. 

"You like my fingers thrusting fast, princess?" You nod and Jisung orders, "Words, princess."

"Yes, sir. I love it. I love it. I love— Ah! Ungh—" 

His thumb brushes finally against your clit and you bite into his shoulder. "Such a good princess. You deserve to cum, don't you? You were such a good girl." Jisung's thumb presses into your clit. His thrusts stills for a short second and your impatient self slides yourself up to fuck his fingers. The obscene sounds get louder with every second as you move closer to your orgasm. 

"I think I should introduce another finger. Princess got my two fingers sopping wet." Jisung's third finger now plunges into you, pushing you apart even further and your breath hitches. He thrusts at a great speed, "We'll be faster, a little bit faster. That will be alright, right?" You know you are close, just a little bit of clitoral stimulation and Jisung's three bony fingers thrusting up into you, hitting the spots—

The electric motor revs and the garage door opens. Chan slowly moves the car into the garage, darkness seeping into the car. Jisung thrusts sloppily, once and then twice before pulling them away from your core, leaving your walls to clench on nothing desperately. You cry, "No, no, no, no—" 

His voice is husky as he says, "Looks like we are here, princess. We are home." Slowly, without breaking contact with your eyes, Jisung sucks on his forefinger and then the middle finger and then the third slowly, tongue wrapping across it, dancing almost like a whole orchestra was playing in the background. 

Chan rushes to open your door. He sees your haphazard hair, unbuttoned shirt and exposed breasts and he groans. You are insatiable just as he has always known. Your eyes are lost and mind far away at dreams of achieving orgasm. Chan buttons up your shirt and helps you get out of the car. His hold on your frame is tight and he kisses the side of  your forehead.

"Chan's making pasta," Changbin announces and walls towards you, raising an eyebrow at your sight. 

"We already have a whole meal here." Jisung licks your arousal from his lower lips. Chan rolls his eyes, before calling out loudly, "Jisung!"

"Yes?"

"You're helping me with dinner."

"But why me? I want to fuck Y/N," he whines. "All I did was tease her in the back of the car." 

Chan leans into you and whispers, "Feel free to hit him when you want to. You'll have me to reason out and save you from anything." You laugh lightly, head slowly focusing on your boyfriend. He shifts his attention back to Jisung, "Because I said so and it's the least of hospitality you must show."

Jisung groans, before reluctantly agreeing, "I have a huge appetite, so heads up." You stare at Jisung, head with thoughts far in the past than in the present. 

Fuck appetite. Fuck Han Jisung. Figuratively, and if fortunate, quite literally. You have a ruined orgasm for the first time that night and all you have an appetite for is one — to be humble — mind-blowing orgasm to take you to the end of the world and back.

Your boyfriend is a gentleman.

In the years you have known Chan, you know for sure that heaven and hell is nothing but a lie. Ironically. The stigmatization of having to be only bad or only good is so skin deep in humans that the very thought of a devil being nice seems like an illusion. That is, if the whole concept of heaven and hell is not an illusion already.

Chan is nice. He is nice to you and that is all that matters to you. He treats you like a princess because you are his princess — the only person worth staying on earth for. 

So when he lets the guys go ahead and pulls you behind a wall right before the huge living room of his apartment is in view, you know he has something to say. That, or he has a kiss to steal.

"Are you okay?" 

Chan's eyebrows are furrowed, eyes softening in worry as his hands lift up to cup your face, thumb rubbing circles into your cheek. You break a smile, leaning forward to brush the tip of your nose against his and you place a delicate peck on the same spot. 

"More than ever. I told you, baby, right? That I'll tap out the minute this gets too much for me."

"I'm just so worried. You've never—"

"Are you guys making out?" You hear Jisung's voice resonate against the walls and you turn your head, stifling the laughter that bubbles inside of you. Jisung yells again, "Chan, pasta!"

"I'm coming," he yells back, dropping his hand from your face. "I'm coming. Oh, if only Lucifer burnt you alive!" 

"I'd have to be alive for that, ha!"

"Go," you chuckle, kissing his lips only to pull back in a short second. "I'll hang out with Changbin."

"He's. . ." Chan sighs. "Just remember to be comfortable, baby, okay?"

"I know. I trust them. Beyond everything, I trust you."

You hold Chan's hand in yours and pull him away from the shadows of the wall, bring him before his friends. Changbin raises an eyebrow at the two of you, before taking a step forward as Chan follows Jisung to the kitchen.

"That leaves us together alone for a while," Changbin suggests, arms folded over each other as he takes quicker steps towards you. He doesn't tower over you much but his entire persona that he broods is enough to make you whimper, lips to part unknowingly and eyes to widen in want. "I should probably introduce myself properly. I'm Changbin. I've known your boyfriend since forever. We became demons around the same time."

"Oh," you respond, mouth patching up with the excessive want.

"I'd like to get to know you, sweetheart?" Changbin is close enough for you to feel the warmth that exudes from his body. His arms drop for a small second before his right one lifts up. His thumb and forefinger grips on your chin to angle it up slightly for you to look at him properly. The name he calls you by makes you gasp under your breath, loving the endearment and he notices. Changbin notices how much the term has its effect on you in this minute.

"Do you like being called a sweetheart, princess? An angel, maybe? Do you like dressing up in pretty pink lingerie for Chan? Maybe you want to be a baby doll on top of me for the night?" Changbin lets go of your chin before taking a step back and walking towards Chan's sofa. He sits down on it, thighs spread apart as his arm rests on the side. His attention drifts back to you, lips quirking up in brief excitement. "Or despite dating one of the most sinful creatures ever to exist, you like being called a good girl?"

Your thighs clench together and you grip at the end of your skirt. Changbin laughs at the reaction he draws out from you. He taps on his thighs and beckons for you, "Why don't you come be a good girl on my lap, hm?"

You take shy steps towards him, before sitting on his thighs that he now has pressed together. Either of your legs dangle on the sides of his body and Changbin holds your hips as he pulls you closer. Your skirt crumpled up, exposing so much more to him and Changbin is in delight at how pretty you look on top of him.

"May I?" And you nod, mumbling a soft yes. His hand slowly trails above, starting from the point right above your knee joint. It's slow and sensuous for a soft second as his fingers slowly climb up your thigh before the tables turn over and Changbin's hand rips the panties from underneath your skirt and throws it to the side. Your eyes widen, cheeks heating up as you hold onto his shoulder at the sudden force. 

"We won't be needing that for the night now, do we?"

You bite your lip and Changbin's hand hovers over your sodden lips from the previous encounter with Jisung. He rubs his palm over it as he locks his gaze with yours and asks, "Respond, princess. I need to hear you respond."

"No, we won't need that."

"That's my good girl," Changbin praises you and presses the heel of his palm into your clitoral region and you moan explicitly and unhinged. He rubs it slightly and your burning core oozes more of your arousal out into his hand, burning for that long forgotten orgasm you had hoped for. Using his other hand, he rips open your blouse, the top button letting free from the dress at all the harsh happenings it has been through for the night. 

"Oh dear, look at that," Changbin clicks his tongue repeatedly before plunging his fingers into your core and pulling your bra down with his teeth at the same time, grazing slightly at your breast that it leaves you thrusting yourself on his fingers that drive hard into you. 

You whimper, "Changbin, fuck," and he lets out an amused sound. He thrusts his two fingers in and out of you as he lips wrap around your nipple, lapping at it. He lets go momentarily, hot breath fanning all over your mound and he asks,

"Do you like this or maybe is it some pain that you like?" 

And within a second, Changbin's teeth bite into the flesh by your mound. His unoccupied hand cups your mound, massaging it before flicking your nipple. Harshly. You gasp, head dropping forward as you lean into Changbin's chest, whimpering repeatedly.

"Baby girl likes that, doesn't she?" He flicks it again, pain shooting up your nerves and you slightly bite into his neck. He speaks into your skin. "She likes it a lot."

Changbin says he likes art. He talks about how he loves the purple colours that blend into the pink and then, the colours of your skin. He sucks on your bosom, littering the area around your areola with pretty, pretty marks all while his fingers are plunged deep inside of you, pads of the same rubbing your walls while his palm rubs the collected arousal into your core, pressing into your clit and stimulating it 

Your senses are alert and every breath, every moan that is present in the air is hyperbolised in your ears. You can feel Changbin's rough fingers slowly pull out while his mouth trails down to wrap his lips around your areola, tongue wrapping around your nipple and he laps at it like a starved animal.

"Chan's too nice to you, too gentle, too kind to you. Treats you like some porcelain doll. I don't blame him for that," Changbin taunts you. He pulls his fingers out from your dripping core and his mouth leaves your breasts. Your walls contract at the sudden absence of his fingers and you grind down onto his thighs, expecting — begging more.

Changbin flicks at your stimulated clitoris. It sends a rush of both pain and pleasure intermingled up your spine, hitting your brain cells, leaving you lost and in a trance. He continues the mockery, "I usually don't fuck with humans. In fact, I even condoned Chan for doing that. No offense to you, baby girl, but humans are delicate, too fragile, for my taste. No matter how sex crazed or ravenous you are, you are still no match for a demon by comparison."

Changbin kisses up your neck, marking you up as he draws out his mockery. You think it is weird that this time round Changbin doesn't intimidate or anger you. Rather every word he says sends a trail of arousal shooting downwards, making you wetter with every passing second — making you anticipate for so much more. It is embarrassing at how wet you are from every single teasing you have been put throygh for the night. 

"You may think Chan is different but he isn't, baby girl. He's just as demonic as we are, just as fucked up as every creature from hell is. He might hold back for you, but when you push his buttons well enough, you know he'll unleash it all. Even Jisung. The only difference between them and yours truly is that—" Changbin pauses. His lips quirk up and his hand unbuckles his belt, metal clinging as it comes undone. He unzips the pant and shoves it down as he lifts himself up with you with such ease that your fragile, weak and overstimulated self is in surprise. He pulls his dick out from his formal pants and it is hot, hard and everything you crave at this point. 

You think it's unfair for a man with this big an ego to have this thick a cock and you were this close to blaming God for being unfair when you realise this isn't his territory. And history has proven that Lucifer has always been kind to his followers. 

Changbin strokes his cock, thumb rubbing at the slit at the hot head. You salivate, almost ready to drip from the corner of your mouth when Changbin cuts your thoughts — filthy thoughts, too dirty to be spoken of; filthy, filthy thoughts on how heavy his cock would be on your mouth, on how wide his cock would stretch your mouth and how deep he'd go, perhaps all the way to your throat — and holds your thighs, pulling you closer into him to position you in such a way that his cock is straddled right between the flesh of both your thighs.

"The only difference between me and the other two, baby girl, is that," Changbin's voice drops an octave lower as he almost growls, "I don't make a habit of suppressing it at all. I can grab you by the throat just like this—"  The demon holds you by your throat, his fingers wrapping around your neck hovering right across your jugular and carotid, pressing them slightly. It is scary how you are here trusting a demon fully aware that an inch deeper and you would be accompanying him in your journey to the other world. Or mayhaps it's your trust in your boyfriend. Changbin's fingers are wrapped deliciously around your neck and your pussy leaks juices, coating his dick that is pressed against it. "—and thrust my dick so deep into you and fuck you so hard that your body, mind and soul is broken beyond repair."

Your mouth opens wide, tongue resting against your lower lip and Changbin spits into your mouth, ordering you instantly, "Swallow," and when you do, he lets go of your neck for a second, caressing the roughened area and mumbling, "You're a good, good girl for me, aren't you, baby girl?"

You nod, voice hoarse as you beg like a kitten in her worst heat, "Please, please, please—"

"Please what, baby girl? Use your words like the good girl you are."

"Fuck me, Binnie. Fuck me, fuck me. Need your dick in me. I'll be a good girl." 

Changbin laughs loudly, almost as if he is mocking you. He is, because his fingers wrap around your neck once again as he thrusts his cock upwards. It slides against your wet lips, striking against your clit. "How could I fuck you when your thighs are this inviting? Look at how wet they are because of your arousal. You are leaking, baby. What a good whore."

"Binnie," you gasp, barely phrasing with his hold on your neck as he thrusts back upward. He holds your close as you equally grind on him. "Binnie, I want more. I want more."

"Be a good girl and I'll reward you, baby girl. Be a good girl and let me fuck your thighs." You nod and grind down. "How does it feel like, baby girl, to have my hard cock rubbing against you? Squeeze your legs tightly around me—" You wrap your legs around him, heels digging into his back. "Fuck, just like that." 

The squelching sounds are loud and prominent. The friction of his cock rubbing against your wet skin is amplified in the silence. Your hips move slightly trying to get as much as contact possible on your clit. Your head is empty, voices hindered and you can only think of how badly you want to get fucked, how badly you want Changbin to treat you more roughly. 

Changbin is vocal. Very, very vocal. He whimpers at every rub, moans loudly and grunts as you grind down on him. The filthy words that leave his mouth does not stop — "Your skin feels so warm and cool against my cock. Oh fuck, can you feel your clit throbbing against my dick, baby girl? You naughty little fucking thing."

His pace quickens as he thrusts further, grunting, "You are fucking delicious, baby girl. Chan's been keeping a whole asset away from us."

"Binnie, Binnie—" you moan, breasts rising and falling with every occasional jumping you do on his thighs to match the pace of his thrusts. "Choke me harder, please."

"What?"

"I want you to choke me harder."

"Fuck," and Changbin listens clearly. His fingers dig a little deeper and you are gasping, arousal dripping even more and staining his navy blue formal pants after coating his cock further. "Fucking grind on my cock. Baby girl, you are making me rethink my policy on humans."

"Ungh," you whimper when his cock stills and grinds onto your clit, focusing only on that. Changbin chuckles. His voice is laced with tease, "Easy there, baby girl. If my cock were to accidentally slip into your pussy, who knows what I might do." 

"Please, please—" You barely speak out when Changbin's grip on your neck loosens for a bit.

"Did I fuck the words out of you, baby? Did I fuck you stupid? I haven't even fucked you with my dick yet and look at you already. You would want that right, baby girl? For me to fuck you dumb, fuck you stupid. I'll have you ride my cock till all you know is how to be a good girl for me and how to take my big fat cock."

"Yes, yes, yes—" 

Changbin stops right when your whimpering increases, pitch shooting up higher and your chest rises and falls as he halts. However, in one swift motion, he pins you on the sofa, him on top of you and he stares at you. You are a disoriented mess, hair spilling onto your face and everywhere, clothes open partially but enough to spill everything and your legs — thighs specifically — are glistening in the lights.

"It sucks that you are Chan's girl, sweetheart? Do you think he'd mind sharing more than once?"

Changbin does not wait for your response. With the support of his hands, he brings his body down, head in direct contact with your skirt stained with your arousal and the precum that oozed out from his cock. He sucks deep purple marks into your thighs, trailing them all the way to your glistening core. And then, his mouth is on your sodden lips.

It's a miracle at how you are able to keep your eyes open. All the teasing this night has made your body heavy and yet, like some starving woman on sex steroid, your pussy aches for more. His lips are on your wet ones as he licks at the lips, pushing it apart as he takes in your arousal, lapping in to take it all. It is merciless. The demon he is, is marvellous, hot and a sex god at that. His tongue licks your lips, tip teasing your entrance as he rubs your clit, slowly. he draws small circles over it, tapping at the engorged button till your toes curl in, knees lift up to bend for your feet to press down. Your eyes are squeezed shut and your fingers pull at his hair every time you feel the knot tightening. 

The room is filled with lewd noises and your moans are loud enough for everyone in the house to hear. Changbin licks stripes after stripes on your lips, lapping up your arousal as he hums in delight. Another stripe up your wet lips and he soon wraps his plump pair around your clit and sucks on it, loud noise of suckle resonating and causing you to move your hips slightly. 

Changbin's sharp teeth graze over your clit, nibbling slightly till you feel the knot clench in your stomach. The vortex forms deep within you again, the sign of an impending orgasm and you can only pray that he doesn't leave you begging like Jisung did. It's coming. You are so close, again, for the second time this night and you needed it. You are sure that you would go crazy if you did not receive the release you had so prayed for. Changbin rubs your clit furiously, lips moving back to your cunt as he eats you out. Changbin's tongue flicks to perfection, hitting your sensitised bud over and over again till you snap and come undone all over his face, arousal squirting out and over his entire face.

Your legs quiver as Changbin laps it all up, tongue swiping across your lips till he has drunk every single drop of your arousal. Your eyes that were squeezed shut opens and you see the mess you have made on his face. 

"Fuck, I'm sor—" You try to lift yourself up to help him when Changbin pulls you by your legs closer to him and wraps his lips on your clit, sucking on the bud till it borders overstimulation and you are screaming out in both pain and pleasure, your abdomen pitting at the sight of another orgasm with his actions.

"Binnie, fuck, oh fuck," Tears well up at the corner of your eyes on being overstimulated. You can feel your brain getting fuzzier, sense hyperbolic at everything around you. You are falling into something you are unfamiliar with. "I'm sensitive, fuck. I'm so sensitive."

He moves forward, overstimulating you and your eyes roll up at all your nerves being triggered to send the excess messages of stimulation to your brain, knots tightening and you are ready to combust once again until Jisung walks out of the kitchen, announcing, "Dinner's ready."

"Too bad I had my fill," Changbin sniggers, tongue extending out of his mouth to lick your arousal off the corners of his mouth. Your chest rises and falls and you try to focus in on something on the ceilings — ah, the spokes of the fan, yes. Three. Three. Three. Three. Changbin quickly notices the change in your demeanor, "Baby girl? You alright?"

"Princess?" Chan's rushing to your side as soon as he hears something is up with you. You giggle, laughing soon enough as you look up. Changbin stands up from your side, concern filling him when you start laughing. Jisung, on the other hand, walks to keep the pasta on the table behind the sofa. "Princess, are you there with me?"

It is the rush of endorphins that cloud your brain. Your heart beats fast, breathing rapid and it's a different kind of high you are in. You hold onto Chan's sleeve, giggles nonstop as you mumble in between, "Chan, uh, Chan! Chan!"

"I've got you, princess," he says softly, before wrapping his arm around your thighs and the other over your torso before lifting you up. "I've got you. I'm right here." You cling onto his shirt, snuggling into him as he verbally assures you. 

He stops midway in his path, turns to look at two of his friends, especially glaring at Changbin, before firmly saying, "Eat and leave. I'll talk to you later. I have to take care of her."

"We could hel—"

"Not today. Not now. I'll—" Chan sighs, holding you closer to him as you mumble words incoherently, smiling to yourself. His face softens, as if he's trying to comfort Changbin who looks guilty for the first time before Chan in eons of years together. "We'll talk to you later."

"Okay."

"And guys?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for tonight. I know she liked it. A bit too much, if anything."

Chan holds you close.

So close to him that even the rush of endorphins in your brain isn't loud enough to hear how loud your own heart beats next to his faint beating one. 

His arms wrap around your frame, hand holding your head close into his chest as he soothingly rubs the back of it and at every short interval, he coos into your head, "I'm right here, baby." Your body shifts to a relaxed position from the very tensile state it was in that second thanks to his voice, at his words and at his very being.

"Relax, baby. This is going to pass. You did so well, so, so well."

And you giggle into his chest, eyes closing warmly for a fraction there before looking up at him. Chan believes if synesthesia was a thing for demons, he would see the colours behind your eyes. How the crimson red slowly — so, so slowly — turned to darkest shades of pink and then the softest ones and Chan knows. He knows for sure that this is it. This is his whole world.

Chan feels jealous of humankind for the first time.

He is envious about how it would not be him that grows old with you, has kids with you and gets to be physical with you at every point. He knows he can't do that with you forever. He cannot do this with you forever. And even if he did decide to fuck it and do it anyway, you'd leave him one day. 

Chan knows he could never do much. He cannot change fate or turn himself into human for you. That is impossible. And yet he hopes — ah, a dangerous thing for a demon to have, something they mustn't possess — that every moment he spends with you is infinite and never dies. 

Your body tightens up again, goes rigid in his hold and he worries for you. That is Chan's first mistake, or so he believed years back. He cares for you. He cares for you in ways a demon shouldn't. He cares for you enough to know that demons have feelings or at the very least, he does. He cares enough to call it love. 

"It's alright," he mumbles and you mumble back, "We couldn't spend time together tonight."

"It's still eight. We have time," Chan smiles and rubs the hair off your face, only to press a soft chaste kiss on your forehead. "We have a lot of time. You should rest. You were such a good girl tonight."

"I was," you hold onto his shirt before letting your hands trail underneath and Chan realises the endorphins are slowly calming down, keeping you in a safer position than you were minutes back. "Wasn't I, daddy?"

"Princess, you really had a lot today, do you—"

"I want to. I—" You kiss Chan, hands cupping his face and lips pulling at his before letting your tongue twine with his. You moan unknowingly as your body rises to lean further into him. Your fingers graze the small stubble by the side of his jaws as you find yourself getting lost in him, in the feeling of his hot tongue lapping around yours.

"Mmh," Chan moans before holding your jaw tighter, leg wrapping around your frame. In a swift motion, he pins you down underneath him as he still kisses you. His lips are beyond tempting as you draw every kiss out, draw every moan out from him. He pulls back the minute you lift your hips to grind onto his crotch, feeling himself against your bare core. "We should stop—"

"No. You're my Valentine. Not Changbin or Jisung. You'll always be my Valentine," you respond, tugging him down into you by his shirt. Chan's eyes widen before softening as he looks at you — looks at you like you are everything better than him, hell and afterlife. 

"But you really had it rough today and—"

"I want more. I want so much more rough and I want them from my boyfriend. No one else." Your hand grades the stubble again and Chan leans into your hold. "The fact that you've never been rough with me and that I had to hear about it from Changbin and Jisung did no good to my ego, baby."

"They were—" Chan pauses on his own this time. You don't interrupt or cut him. He knows he can't lie to you. He knows how much he holds back but Chan knows that he has no issue with that. It's a safer option for you and yet here you are tonight asking him to be himself, be everything he is and show you how far he can go — he was going to fucking lose it at that alone. 

"You know they were not lying," your voice lower. "They are demons, you had said, and that I should be careful. But Chan, baby, you are a demon too. So why do you hold back? Is it because I'm a human?"

"Yes," Chan reluctantly agrees and you sigh. You drop your hand from his face and Chan's lips pucker in response. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You know you won't," you reassure him. "You could never hurt me unknowingly and even if you did, you know you'd take care of me till I'm back to the same."

"There shouldn't be a situation that leads to the worst case scenario, Y/N."

"But I want that. I want you to show me everything and I want to know if I'd like that. Give me a choice. I—" You gulp, scared of telling it out loud finally now that you have come to a partial conclusion to it yourself. "I liked Changbin being rough on me. I liked it a lot. I liked Jisung edging me. I liked it so much that all I could think about till Changbin touched me was of Jisung giving me an orgasm."

Chan's hand presses down by the sheets adjacent to your face and he holds it tightly. If care was an emotion he shouldn't have felt, jealousy is another that should never have a place in a demon's mind. Especially not when they were all brought up with the thought of sharing. 

He hates how Changbin got to be rough with you before him. Something so petty and so, so territorial arises in him that he wasn't even aware for him to feel this. He knows he gave consent. He knows he was there to hear it all and yet hearing you say you liked it brought in exactly two emotions in him that conflicted each other so much that he knew he was going feral — a) delight, over you being so content and over you being so understanding of demonic natures and b) jealousy, over another demon having had you in ways only he had before. 

"Chan?"

"Yes?"

"You were lost there for a minute."

"You promise me you'll tell me to stop if it gets too much, right?"

"Always," you peck at his lips. "I'll always do that. I just want everything you are and you have to offer. I don't want to know stuff from others. I want to feel them through you."

And Chan kisses you again. This time however, it is a lot different from the previous kiss you drew out from him. His lips find home in yours as they come upon you, imperatively. The kiss gets deeper each time, tongues chasing and lapping each other, earning continuous whines and whimpers coming out from both of you. Your arms wrap themselves around his neck, your fingers trailing up his nape to his hair, gripping the small hair at his back and Chan kisses you passionately, his hands cupping and tilting your face, angling it so that he could intensify the kiss as he desired.

He's desperate to show you everything he is.

The very second your mouth had brushed his, Chan knows that you are the one for him. It had always been you. Even now, if he closed his eyes, he could feel the tingle over his lips and your warm breath wafting over his chin. It is exactly as he had carved in his mind, etched so deep that it could never fade away.

His hand is prominent on its grip on your neck, as you lift your chin higher — so you can press your lips harder into his —  while your hands fist into his shirt — white, clean and perfect all for the night only for it to be discarded to the very corner of the bedroom the two of you share. His free hand drops to wind around your waist, arm pressed between the bed and you and in one swift movement, he pulls your body flush against his.

Gasping at the motion, Chan seizes the opportunity to slip his tongue between your teeth, your lips parting further in response. His tongue swipes across yours, curling around your tongue and gently massaging it. The metal ball at the tip of his tongue provides a sharp coldness and you hiss into his mouth, only for him to provide more contact with the metal that it leaves you emitting moans into him. 

It is electrifying. Every single thing with Chan has been exciting, unpredictable and leaves you begging for more. It is perhaps mankind's adhesive nature towards sin itself that made you like this — that made you into such a moldable clay in his hands and you don't mind going to hell for this. Because every single moment you lived on earth, if it were with him, would be relentlessly passionate. You would never want to swap with anything, even if someone handed heaven to you on a platter.

Because Chan is your heaven. 

When you feel his tongue flick against yours, slightly, grazing it, your hands uncurl from his shirt - only to wind up his chest, along his throat, towards the nape of his neck. You find yourself lapping around the metal ball on his tongue, rolling your eyes shut. 

With every passing second, you find yourself drowning into Chan. His body is pressed flat against yours, chest against yours, his saccharine taste coating your senses till that is all you can think about, and his warm breath all over your face. You find yourself drowning into him — you always have — his entire presence encasing your senses as you lose yourself deep into his entire being.

Is this how people were dragged into hell? Tempting. 

Chan pulls back and you smile at your boyfriend, like a little girl happy to have received her candy. You glance down at your shirt that is half open as a result of everything that happened tonight and proceed to unbutton the rest and remove it off your body. Chan's eyes linger more than ever on the marks that Changbin has left all over your body — marks that have turned dark purplish red and he seethes at the very sight of it in anger. 

"If we do this again, on your request, of course," Chan kisses over all the marks slowly, taking his own time to lick it over with his tongue before pressing his lips against it. "I'm going to be physically present. Not going to let anyone mark my baby up like this. That's for me."

And Chan sucks over it. His hand goes behind your back to unhook your bra and toss it aside. His hand lands firm on your breast, fingers playing with your nipple as his mouth slowly moves down to kiss your other nipple before sucking on it, lewd sounds emitting from his mouth.

"Daddy, fuck—" Your back arches, hips jutting upwards into his pelvis only to feel his covered growing length rough against your sticky skin. Chan uses his free hand to hold onto your waist and lift you slightly, allowing you to hook your leg over his waist, tight enough to tease you.

Chan hums in approval as you grind up, exposed core moving and staining your favorite formal pants of his, all while his tongue laps at your areola. The metal ball right at the centre of the tip of his tongue is pressed to your nipple and the difference in temperature has your mind spiralling. 

His palm squeezes your breast, thumb running over your nipple before he purposefully leans down and gives you a taste of his warm mouth. You gape open at the contact of his mouth on your nipple, teeth purposely grazing against the skin only for the metal ball to soothe over the burn.

Puckering his lips, he presses them to the sensitive spot by your jugular before sucking harshly. Responsively, a low mew resounds from your lips, leaving them in the open for just you and him to hear to.

"Do you remember the safe word?"

You nod, "Red for you to stop, yellow for you to give me time and green for you to proceed."

"Perfect," and Chan moves so quickly to remove your skirt off your body as he hovers over your completely naked self, fully clothed. You have always wondered if Chan would ever be into power play, especially with how he could project himself sometimes. Like in moments like these. You make a note in your head to ask him about the very thing. 

Chan kisses your lips, tugging at your lip before dipping himself further, getting lost in you. He rubs his tongue across your lower lip, metal ball harsh against your coral lips. He kisses your cheek and then, your pinna.

You feel his warm breath against your ear, shuddering in impact. You are about to ask him to stop teasing you — that you've had enough foreplay the whole night. However, in the next second, his hand lowers and lands on your inner thighs in a loud spank and you gasp, not expecting it. He hits the same skin almost a second after before the pain recedes and you are moaning out loud, brain wiring differently as heat pools between your legs.

“Fuck," he swears under his breath. His hand edges closer to you, dangling so close to your core that he can feel your arousal by your thighs, all over again and over the dried ones by your thighs. "You’re so dripping wet,” Chan mutters, only to laugh and comment, "At least I can credit this to myself."

Chan leans forward, next to your ear again and mumbles, "Baby, I'll be using words that would come off as very demeaning but I need you to know that I would never use them unless we are in the mood. You are and will be my baby girl, my princess forever. Is that alright?"

"It is," you blush, heat shooting straight to the core and you can feel yourself leak further, embarrassingly, right when Chan's hand is so close to your lips.

"Fuck, you are dripping. Such a filthy whore," Chan taunts and you feel it, deep in your gut. You've never seen this side to Chan but fuck, you love it. You love it more than Changbin having called you a good girl. You want to be called a whore, a slut — as long as you were his whore, his slut. 

Chan collects the arousal that you drip out, coating his fingers and palm. Moving his fingers, he collects your arousal that leaks from your gaping hole and watches the transparent stick to his fingers. The bulge in his pants is hard and seems too painful to be confined. You gulp evidently, throat parched. Chan's hand edges closer towards your lips and languidly strokes your slit with his fingers coating in your arousal. The pads of his finger circles your hole and you mewl, clutching slightly onto his shoulder. 

"Daddy, please, need your fingers in me."

"You've been fucked by two demons already and you are still so horny," he scoffs. "Impressive." He raises an eyebrow. Almost like he is teasing you further, he continues to play with your cunt. You whimper, gasping and hoping to feel the burn of the stretch that would come with him thrusting his fingers up.

Each small action Chan does has you moving forward in pleasure, hoping for the same as you try to move with his hand, all in an attempt to drive his digit deeper into you. Nonetheless, Chan controls the pressure and the pace and no matter how hard you try to move, he never lets you have his way, clearly showing that it was him in power here, not you. Growing tired of his teasing, anticipation filling you to insanity, tears brimming your eyes, you whine, “Fucking hell, Ch— Daddy, come on."

Chan chuckles, kissing your clavicle, biting into the skin above and sucking furiously enough to mark you. You sigh, breath exhaled out desperately. "Please, please, pl— Ah!"

Chan hits your core with the pads of his finger, labia silently flapping in impact and you moan at the pain that shoots up from your sensitive core. This causes you to moan, body moving forwards in a surprised reaction. The palm hitting the clit sends electric sparks throughout your body, your brain almost fusing. The sound is sharp as it rings through the air before you feel pain along the vulva. Crying in pain, you mumble softly out before holding to him softly, “Please,” you implore. "I need you, daddy." 

The sensation of the pad of his thumb swiping against your swollen, needy bud causes you to buck into him, your cunt soon contracting around nothing. Chan mumbles as he lowers his body silently, kissing your skin on his way. He kisses the skin right above your acetabulum, tracing his lips down till he kisses your core, a soft peck over it. 

It is a stark difference in your clothing that takes you aback; of how you were completely naked while Chan was completely clothed and yet that excited you. The power he has is enough to have you ooze out more arousal that would prompt the sheets to stain further. 

Chan licks at your core, once, twice and then he is sucking at your clit, like a man walking days in a desert with no water source. His mouth is against your core, licking on it, the cold wet metal ball pressing against it, before he sucks on your engorged button. The lewd noises that leave your mouth are pornographic and your legs have lost their strength.

You are about to say a word before Chan curls his fingers up into you and your back arches slightly at the feeling of his fingers in you. "D-Daddy!" 

You feel Chan searching your walls for the spot he has felt enough that he finds it in a few minutes. He rubs against the same spot that brings the loudest reaction from you before dragging his fingers back slowly only to slip his fingers easily into you again, the slick of your arousal dripping down your thighs. The sheets are stained. His pants are stained and so is his white shirt. 

"No demon I've fucked before would have sex this close to being out of the world. Fuck, princess. Your slutty pussy is clutching onto my fingers." He rubs your walls and your enlarged button. Your hips gyrate with him, thrusting and chasing after his fingers desperately as you press into him. 

Chan's fingers are fast as they thrust in and out of your core. You could find yourself getting wetter and wetter with the lewd sounds that resonate the walls. The demon presses his metal piercing flat against your clit and you gasp. "F-Fuck, Daddy!"

And as Chan sucks on your button of nerves, his fingers thrusts into you at a relentless pace, pushing right at the spot that has you feeling the endorphins spilling into your bloodstream. You feel the knot that tightens in your stomach, ready to fall over the cliff till Chan's teeth graze your clit and you lose it.

“Come for me, my princess,” Chan urges. His command, paired with the way his tongue dances across your clit and how his rough thick fingers drags against your sweet spot, has you careening off of the brink of pleasure and into an oblivion. You can feel your bloodstream soaking slowly with the rush of endorphins. You need a moment to calm down from how good that orgasm is, as Chan slowly rubs you through your high. 

You think Chan is about to drag his fingers out of you and away when he picks up the speed of his fingers. He toys with your sensitive clit. 

"Daddy, ah—" You feel the pain slightly of being overstimulated, slowly getting intense and intense. You are crying and he slows down, looking into your eyes, expecting a colour to be screamed and when you don't, smiling softly, he continues, kissing you and swallowing every cry you have. 

You feel your skin standing at the very precipice of being sensitive to anything. In a split second without any warning, his mouth still on you, Chan holds your clit between his forefinger and thumb before twisting it and instantly, you feel something deep within you tighten up.

That was it. Your breath is disoriented. Your jaw falls loose and you let out a loud cry as a powerful orgasm cuts right through you. Chan drops his hand on to the bed as you squirt on being overstimulated. Your arousal soaks his shirt, fabric sticking to his body and he is amused. Your thighs shake, quivering uncontrollably as your back curves, body lifting up. Chan's other arm wraps around you as he kisses you through this. Your muscles tremble, ache and are sour. Eventually, you find your hips stopping gradually as you fall victim to the pleasure, squirting slowly receding. His hand is covered in your juices and he chuckles against your lips after pulling back, placing you lightly on your back.

"That was so fucking hot," he looks at you proudly, pressing his forehead against yours. Your eyes are closed, post that powerful orgasm, tears staining your cheeks. He moves only after your eyes open, making sure you are alright and are able to breath right.

"Daddy," you smile and Chan smiles brighter. That's his girl. That's his girl, alright.

"You've got my shirt messy, princess." He chuckles and your cheeks heat up in embarrassment as your head drops to the side to look away. Chan holds your face with his messy hands and kisses you, drawing out another long kiss to rid you away from any other thoughts besides ones of fucking him tonight. 

You pull away and mumble, "It's not fair that you were dressed completely in the first place."

"Is that so now?"

"Yes," you huff and your hand trails up Chan's arm, fingers digging into his arm. "It's a damn bother." 

Chan unbuttons his shirt, taking his own time with it as his fingers roll against them before popping the material out of hold from the button. Your hand lies in wait by his waist, fingers rubbing against the curve of his ass and you stare up at him. With every button that he maneuvers his shirt out of, you can see his tattoos more and more clearly.

The feathers that poke out through the corner of his shoulder, flat on the coracoid process, more present superficially right above his clavicle, are detailed. You can see the feathers variant in their styles as they fall from a greater source that lies behind him.

Chan's tattoo had always been magnificent, as if they were rebuking the almighty as he acknowledged his very being. The ends of the black feathers also tease into the head of his biceps. Two beautiful wings, bold and powerful, arise from his spine and exhibit loudly on his back.

Your mouth gapes open at the sight of it as Chan bends forward to unbutton his pants, the wings clearly visible to you and your heart leaps at the sight of it. Chan raises an eyebrow at you, staring down at his tattoo, as soon as he pulls down his pants. 

"Ah, the tattoo kink," he chuckles. "How could I forget."

"It's not a thing," you blush.

"Please," he laughs, eyes wrinkling soon. "There's no way you could lie to me, princess." 

You blush. Crunching forward, you stretch your arms, fingers pointing to draw against the outline of the wings. "It's beautiful," you whisper. "It's so fucking beautiful, Chan." He chooses to ignore the call of his name because nothing else would sound sweeter in this moment than his name itself. What you would do to give everything in wrapping your lips around his flesh by the corners of the wings and to ruin it with your own marks.

He unsheathes himself off the confines of his undergarment. Chan has always been bigger in comparison to every single one you had seen, girth firmer than you had envisioned and the frenum piercing has you salivating. It shines under the dim lighting of your room, your eyes unable to drift away from it, lips parted slightly.

You let out a small mewl — the walls of your core throbs against his member at the sensations of the piercings rubbing against the same — enhancing both your senses. Chan notices how your thighs quiver and he raises his eyebrows in sheer amusement.

"You really don't fail to surprise me, princess," Chan sniggers. "Look at you eye fucking me all while I just unstrip."

"Please," your eyes glisten and Chan coos. "Please. Need your cock in me, daddy. Need your big fat cock to fill me up and stuff me stupid." Your hands move down to hold his engorged length in your hand, rubbing the metal balls on the head with your fingers and feeling the coldness in a sharp contrast to his hot girth.

"You've been such a good, good whore tonight. Daddy's going to reward you well. So well." His hand trails down your frame and you shudder as they move down your sides.

Chan moves slightly, his hands bracing on either side of yours. The strong muscles of his arms twitch as he bears the entirety of his body weight on them. You push your body upwards and you stretch your arms up. You run your hands over his naked shoulders and his back, grazing his tattoo a little more before tangling your fingers into his hair as you tug him further over you. 

A soft gasp slips from your mouth when his weight presses over you: his defined chest over yours and his hips pressing into yours in the most enticing way. His cock brushes against your thighs slicken in your arousal and you moan. The metal ladder framing underneath his shaft is cold against your skin and you can feel the goosebumps that arise atop your skin all the way to spread the heat to your core.

Chan's arms wrap around your body, holding you so close to him that your chests brush against each other. You feel his hardened erection sharp against your thighs, brushing against your core and you whimper in his hold. "Please."

"Please what, princess?"

"Fuck me, daddy."

Chan's lips crash onto your swollen ones with a force that has to be reckoned. He grinds his heavy cock into your core, rubbing over your clit. It leaves you moaning, holding onto his deltoids with a ferocious grip, fingers digging into the muscle.

Holding onto the opportunity that presents itself to him, Chan seizes and dives his tongue right into your mouth. They glide across your tongue, your body arching in pleasure. You feel the metallic ball of his piercing run over your tongue in a wistful want, you wrap your own around it before kissing him at the same intensity. Chan's groan hits back through the air in barely a whisper as you swallow most of the sound. Immediately, you let go of his lips and your hand reaches out for his cock slowly coated in precum, you squeeze it softly.

Before you can think straight, you can sense Chan holding his cock in his hand to position himself and with a mere grunt, he enters through your twitching core. His thick girth pushes your walls apart as they move further down into you. Your grip on his deltoid slips to his biceps, desperate to catch hold of something. All that leaves your mouth are parched breaths and desperate moans. 

The lewd noises from his dick seeping through your wetness to enter you and stretch you out resonates through the wall only to hit back to both of your ears. Chan's gaze shifts downwards to watch his cock spread open your lips and disappear into your being — all it does to the demon is excite him more. 

You feel the piercings against your wall, dragging across your softness. The slight dentations cause you to moan as Chan moves it against it over and over again, ensuring to hit your spot as much as possible with every thrust. 

"You're dripping all over my cock, fuck," he grunts as he slips out only to thrust back in carefully. You grind back this time round, trying to match his pace with your fragile body. It takes you aback when you feel Chan grow into his complete girth inside you, stretching you out with an intense burn.

"Daddy," you choke out, words caught in the back of your throat. "Too big, ah."

��No, it’s not, princess," he bites his lip. "We both know you can take it. You're doing so well,” Chan coos. You find him slowing down with every thrust, making sure you are alright. His fingers ghosts right adjacent to your side, caressing your breasts with affectionate touches. 

Slowly, the pain fades away, only to be replaced by a rush of pleasure with every thrust. The hard metal of his piercings drag against the sensitive nerves of your wet core, enough to stimulate every other nerve in your body, rubbing it over and over again. 

Chan notices your face calming and how you were truly living in the moment. He takes this as a sign enough to thrust quicker, metal piercings striking the spot furiously. The sudden intrusion has your lips parting, eyes rolling back and tongue falling out in ecstasy. Your thighs, that quake, spread apart to take more of him, to let him have more control over you. Your walls clamp down on him, holding his cock tightly and magnifying the thick length of his. The moment his length pokes at the end of your cervix, you jerk, throat drying up instantly as a reaction. He was so thick and so full that he reached all the way to your cervix, ready to show you what it truly is like being fucked by a demon.

Chan grunts as he presses his hand down on your belly after pressing a short kiss. There is a slight bulge and Chan loves how you are, almost as if you are made for him. This leads your wall to press around him. His length pulses against your walls and you feel him completely, in his length and girth. Your walls ripple around his length accepting him completely — in his large, engorged, thick length.

"Fuck, I love this. Hell, I love how your juices coat my length and your lips kiss around my cock. Perfectly fitting my cock as if you were made for me,” he mutters. "Aren't you? You're mine. All mine." 

“So pretty, princess,” he coos. With every thrust of his length into you, your body is jolted back and forth, rocking the bed loudly, at an impeccable strength along with your boyfriend's.

In between all the thrusts of his cock, the way his piercings mercilessly drags inside you, triggering every single nerve bundle ever to exist in your body, you feel the clouds of euphoria come at your being. You slowly find yourself losing your being into the sheer bliss of Chan's actions.

With one more rough thrust, you are unable to hold back and with a loud cry, you come undone around Chan's cock. Feeling your walls clamp vigorously around his length, he lets out a deep growl and continues to thrust his hips into you. It is these thrusts that draw out your orgasm, bringing forth waves of bliss and euphoria, slowly seeming to shut down all your senses. The results of your intense orgasm still fluctuate through you. Your thighs tremble and toes curl. Your walls wrap so tightly around his cock that it drives him close.

His cock pulsates in your warmth and you know it too. "Oh fuck! That’s it, princess,” Chan groans out. He thrusts back into you messily, trying to keep up with the same initial pace. However, he falls out of the same relentless thrusting in the pursuit of his own orgasm. Burying his cock as deep into you, he erupts inside of you. He plays with your clit and comes undone in your core as he swears under breath, unfiltered compliments showered upon you. 

His thick cum fills you up. Buried deep, he empties everything of his load, coating your walls with thick stripes of his residue. Slowly, you find yourself back to your senses, body more alive, having ridden yourself of the giddiness of your orgasm. Your body shudders under him in your haze of orgasm.

Chan pulls out his softened cock out from you, glistening under the coated mixture of yours and his orgasm. He holds you close and rubs the side of your face gently as he compliments you, "You did so well, princess. I'm proud of you."

You kiss his lips in response, a soft, chaste one. Chan continues showering you with compliments as he falls by your side, holding you close into his sweaty naked being. He lifts himself soon enough to attend to you when you pull him down, locking him with your grip on his wrist.

"Let me take care of you, baby."

"Five minutes more, please." You look at him with a puppy like expression and Chan sighs, knowing fully well that there would be no way that he could deny your request. 

"Fine, princess," he rubs your hair away from your forehead and pulls you impossibly closer into his chest. 

"Chan?"

"Hm?"

"Happy Valentine's Day, baby."

Chan chuckles, kissing the top of your head and then your forehead as he teases, "You worked too much for a Valentine's Day, baby."

"Please," you stretch the syllable and speak into Chan's chest. "If anything, it is the wildest one I've ever lived to attend."

And as Chan holds you through the night, attending and taking care of you, his phone beeps soon enough,

[1] Voicemail from Changbin Happy Valentine's Day, beautiful and to you too, Chan. Call me back when you hear this. Bye.

[1] Message from Jisung This is how technology works??!!!! Oh my God. Fancy. Anyhow, Happy Valentine's Day. This goes down in my history as best Valentine's Day ever, bitches. P.S. Best sex ever too. Let's have a foursome sometime soon.

[shinjaeha]

ipytm ep 5 (thoughts + spoilers)

i've been putting off writing this post up for so long bc even just thinking that it's the last one i'm ever gonna do for the bkpp project (at least for the foreseeable future) is enough to make me tear up. now that this is posted up, it's like this is truly the end of the series for me. it's so hard to believe that teh/oh-aew's story came into my life less than a year ago when it feels like they've been with me for so much longer. i'm gonna miss them with all my heart ;;;

i know i said in my previous ep 4 post that their relationship was becoming exhausting for me to watch (and i still stand by that), but this ep was the reprieve that i needed from all that angst. it's what made me fall in love with teh/oh-aew all over again. it's the one ep in all of ipytm that i can see myself rewatching time and time again. the ep i think many of us were craving for, and the perfect way to end their journey imo (though i know not everyone will agree on this, and that’s totally fine too).

for possibly the last time, this isn't a proper analysis, just my thoughts as i rewatch this ep again (and hopefully try not to cry as hard as i did watching it the first time). let's do this :')

we begin with oh-aew presenting his final project for uni to his class (and this was how i already knew that this ep was starting off on a good foot for me). i needed oh-aew to be the main focus of this ep since he was the one that ended things between them. just like when they first started becoming friends again in itsay ep 1, the future of their relationship was always going to hinge on what path he decided to take.

i love that the last ep of ipytm also parallels the last ep of itsay. back then it was teh's decision to make whether he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with oh-aew or not. based on what teh chose to do, i think it was already a good indication as to what oh-aew's choice was going to be in the end as well.

esp when he includes the iconic itsay flashcards as part of his presentation :')

oh-aew's presentation goes really well, and that along with his internship, books him a job right out of uni (i'm so proud of him!!).

we're back at q's house with the rest of the gang finally relaxing after all that hard work. i can't with oh-aew's eye roll when he sees maengpong and plug being all lovey dovey 😂

as a working adult, q's right...enjoy the downtime from not having to work yet while it lasts 😭

we learn that oh-aew still hasn't dated anyone after breaking up with teh (and not from a lack of options). he's just not interested.

of course that's when the tv chimes in that teh's currently in china with the co-star of his drama, and everyone's speculating if the two of them are actually dating irl (though teh states in an interview that they're both too busy to be dating).

all eyes are on oh-aew at this, but he just smiles and jokes about how he's just teh's ex, not a fan. this scene was so cute. just oh-aew being happy for teh, no bad blood. he's in such a good place. after how sad he's been for most of this series, one of my fave things about this ep is just how happy and settled he looks now.

oh-aew and q are having a heart to heart, and oh-aew tells q about how he thought about having his teh (tea) tattoo removed, but decided to keep it since it's a part of his history. a reminder of his crazy, first love. he talks about what a big mess he was during his relationship with teh, and i do think he's moved on from how he felt back then (and is in a much better place than before), but that tattoo is a symbol of how teh will always be a significant part of him in some way (past or present).

q asks oh-aew how he is, and oh-aew answers that he thinks he really loves himself now which... :'))) we love to see it!!!!! he's got so much going on for him aside from teh now, and it's so wonderful to see how much he's matured since last ep. def would have been nice to have seen more of oh-aew’s own perspective on his growth and feelings before this ep, but seeing how happy he is, and how good he feels about himself now, makes up for that slightly. i think sometimes when you’ve been with someone for so long (esp when you've entered into a long term relationship with them at such a young age), and things feel like they’re not working out anymore...you need to be apart from them for awhile to gain more perspective on yourself as an individual. and to learn how to grow without them.

oh-aew thanks q for being there for him and they kind of have a ~moment. the way the music builds up and then changes to something softer, and the long lingering stares...only for oh-aew to be all "let's be friends forever". oh, q :( it's like bas all over again. oh-aew lets him down easy, but that’s something that oh-aew’s been consistent about since the start. ever since he fell for teh, he's always been so sure. his heart has never wavered. he knows what it's like to be in love, and if he doesn't feel that with someone, then he won’t lead them on. he already tried dating bas before so he knows that if his heart’s not there then it won’t work out.

hoon's getting married to nosomi!!!!!!!!!!! i love that it's hoon that's constantly bringing them back together somehow. he does it in itsay (by being the first person that accepts teh's feelings for oh-aew, and encouraging him to go chase him), and again now in ipytm (by making them physically meet up again bc of his wedding). hoon’s the real mvp!!

i think the news must be somewhat bittersweet to oh-aew. of course he'd be happy that they're getting married after being together for so long, but prob also a certain level of sadness bc it reminds him of nosomi's "he loves me for who i am" speech all those years ago. back when all he wanted was for teh to love him for who he was, but then things ended up changing too much. HE ended up changing too much for teh to handle.

oh-aew's mum is so cute haha.

i was honestly doing fine, and then oh-aew brought out that magazine with top and teh on the cover and smiled at it, and i straight up burst into tears. there's something about the utter sincerity of oh-aew being able to look at teh on tv/magazine covers and be genuinely happy for him despite how things might have ended for them (poking his tongue out at teh's picture and everything 😭). he's seen how hard teh's worked since they were kids to achieve what he has now. and even if he might just be another face in the crowd to teh now, he still gets to follow along and watch teh's dreams come true (even if he's achieving them without oh-aew in his life anymore). this coupled with 'coming of age' playing in the bg (i knew as soon as i first heard it here that it was gonna be my fave ipytm ost and i was not wrong i love it SO MUCH)...i thought i'd be able to rewatch this again without crying but i am, yet again, a huge, blubbering mess...

it's funny how it's not the big emotional moments in ipytm that get me, it's little moments like this that make me cry the most. i cried a little during last ep, but NOTHING like the entirety of this ep. i had to keep pausing to bawl my eyes out like a baby omg.

he doesn't have pics of him and teh on his bedside table anymore, but he still has magazines of teh stashed on the bottom ;;;;;;; he's still keeping up with his life.

we get our first scene of teh in his dressing room, hair being styled, just as his co-star, airy, joins him. he's having trouble coming up with an idea for his thesis. it's esp tough for him bc he's working such long hours at the same time...i can only imagine how stressful and difficult it would be to be working as an actor, studying and having to write a thesis on top of everything.

airy asks teh to come join her rehearsal after they finish their shoot, and we hear that she’s working HARD. teh suggests they take a break to eat and relax a little, but she refuses thinking it's a waste of time when she could just be working instead.

this should really be teh's element. he's worked hard his whole life, and now he's surrounded by people that work just as hard, if not harder, than he does...but all it does is leave him feeling empty and run down.

airy is working herself to the bone (which used to be teh's MO), but now that his whole life is work, it doesn’t feel as exciting as it used to feel. not when he’s realising that there’s no point in working this hard if he never has the chance to take everything he’s achieved in bc he’s always living for the future.

it's like teh's burned so bright, for so long, that he's finally burned himself out. he launched himself straight from school, to uni, to work without giving himself a break...and clearly he's not happy. he's finally achieved his childhood dream, but it's not as fulfilling as he once thought it was going to be.

part of it comes down to what khim told him when they had their fight in ep 2 (after teh learnt that she’d become a flight attendant). you can have multiple dreams at once. teh's always been so singularly focussed on this one dream, it's like he's never thought that that could have been true for him too. he never thought past what would happen if he ever achieved that dream. until he does, and it's not enough. he's still unhappy.

top's back!!!!!! with food, and to give teh some much needed advice.

teh asks top if he's ever felt so tired that he's wanted to quit acting, and top tells him that it's normal to feel this way, and more importantly: "if you feel like there's something still missing, that means you haven't got all that you dreamt of". it seems obvious, but to someone like teh who's only ever really had this one dream in mind, it's something that he needs to hear out loud.

the long-awaited teh and oh-aew meeting!!!!!!!!!!! they run into each other at oh-aew's company, and it's like time stops for a second. it's fascinating to me how a little time can heal almost anything. literally just last ep i was going on about how draining it felt seeing the two of them together, and now after some space apart, i feel that same giddiness that i used to feel seeing them together in itsay all over again. things have reset, so the energy between them feels so  different now compared to the last couple of eps. it’s the renewed way in which they look at one another. the tension and the chemistry!! the smile on oh-aew's face, and the surprise on teh's. their expressions after seeing each other again after so long were PERFECT. really shows where both their characters are at this point in time. there's just so much history between them, and you can see that all written on their faces.

oh-aew's smiled more in this one ep than the last four combined (and i love it!!).

i love that slight awkwardness as they talk to each other again for the first time. it’s that strangeness you feel when you meet your ex again after a long time (esp one that you've missed). it's all small talk even though there's so much more that you want to say. and you can see the struggle in teh's face when oh-aew walks away...how much he wants to follow him/get him to stay so he can be in his presence some more.

as soon as the meeting's done, teh's looking all around the office for oh-aew again (wouldn't expect anything less). love how joyous the score feels the moment that he spots oh-aew working in one of the rooms. it's like a moth to a flame. as soon as he saw oh-aew again, there was only ever one direction he was going to go.

teh lying to oh-aew about his manager needing to go somewhere else and having to find his own way home just so he can spend more time with oh-aew...not sneaky at all haha.

not him sniffing oh-aew's coconut scent 😅 some things really never change.

teh actually asking oh-aew about his job as a media planner is prob the most interest he's shown in oh-aew's career path this whole series?? even if he doesn't understand it, at least he's honest about it...and it shows some progress. that there’s been at least a little change on his part since they were last together.

oh-aew almost blurting the "i'm not a fan, just his ex" inside joke he has with his friends straight to teh omg. and then jai coming up in conversation right after that...the awkwardness is back. but thankfully teh swings their conversation back into something light again.

oh-aew always knows just what to say to teh to make him realise how much more there is to his life than he seems to think there is. and he knows so much when it comes to teh. he's never forgotten. if i were teh, i would have fallen in love with him all over again during this scene too...he's just so engaged and invested in teh's life and family. always has been. teh's expression this whole scene is just 'how could i ever have let him go'...and it's the fondness for me :’)  was i mad at teh just last week?? absolutely. but i can’t help how much i want to see the two of them make it through this ;;; i love seeing teh actually REALISE wholly and completely how incredible oh-aew has been throughout their whole relationship. how lucky he’s been to have someone that cared this much for him in his life.

okay, but the way teh's face changed as soon as oh-aew mentioned tuty and i just KNEW :((((((( poor tuty...yet another reminder of how much things have changed since their break up.

now that i think about it, most of their big emotional scenes in ipytm have always happened at night. ep 1 phuket beach scene, ep 2 dinner fight (and their make up at the end), ep 3 teh/jai river scene and then their sex scene right after that, ep 4 break up scene. it's always at night (which makes sense since it's part of that whole 'i promised you the moon' theme that's been so important this series). but this reconciliation/reunion scene is in broad daylight. it's like they're already highlighting to us that things are different now. that they're no longer going to promise each other the moon bc it’s an impossible promise.

teh inviting oh-aew to the wedding and being all "and you can bring your plus one"...i see what you're trying to do there, teh (and i can't even blame you).

oh-aew's "if i get a boyfriend in time, i will". you can't beat oh-aew at his own game...my boy's always been the best at flirting. love how they're so much more upfront about it now though 😂 it's not just hidden in glances and gestures anymore.

teh dating airy bc she has those very same personality traits that he, tarn and jai all share is SO typically teh. but, at the same time, i think i understand why it was important for him to have dated her this time. as the audience, it's really easy to pinpoint that teh tends to have this particular type, but i don't think it really registers with teh that feeling an attraction to someone just bc they're similar to you isn't enough to sustain a relationship until he actually goes out with someone that's similar to him (since he never really officially dated either tarn or jai). he has to date her to realise that he's still not happy/something's still missing even though on paper she's exactly the type of person that he always thought he'd be happy with.

i think it's also important to note that oh-aew was part of his life when he was first attracted to both tarn and jai, so it prob made things a lot more confusing for him back then too. oh-aew is his constant. dating airy, and not having oh-aew there as that one constant, likely put things into perspective for him, and made how he felt much clearer. it helped him realise that although they might have similar personalities/the same career, it’s not the perfect fit he thought it would be. the missing piece for him is oh-aew. oh-aew is the only one that he actually loves, and that love isn’t based on similar traits, or having the same career, since oh-aew is his opposite in all these ways.

he needed to date airy to realise that his dreams aren't enough. he used to look down on oh-aew bc oh-aew was never as ambitious as he was. never as singularly goal driven as teh. but now he can see that if they were both like that, it prob wouldn’t have worked out. oh-aew's laid-back, calm nature has always been the best balance to teh's overly determined, intense one. teh is oh-aew's greatest motivation to keep pushing himself, to keep striving for more. oh-aew is teh’s reminder to let himself breathe, and to go with the flow sometimes, or else he’ll always be too in over his own head. there’s no point in working yourself to exhaustion if you’re constantly living for tomorrow instead of today.

i also think it's interesting how teh used to claim that oh-aew gave up too easily on his dreams, but it's teh that gave up on their relationship first. when it came to their relationship, it was always oh-aew that was the one fighting to keep it going (until he just couldn't anymore bc he was the only one actually trying).

anyway, i genuinely think that oh-aew's happy for him when teh first confesses that he and airy dated. in the same way that you want the person you love to be happy, even if that means that they're happy with someone else. even oh-aew recognises that teh and airy are a good match on paper bc of how similar they both are (and how he knows that she also tends to be teh’s type).

i can feel his hurt when teh tells him that they broke up though. the way he describes it is eerily similar to the reason teh and oh-aew broke up in the first place, so it's like he's digging up old wounds. teh never worked hard enough to keep their relationship going back when they were still together, so to oh-aew it's like he's repeating those same mistakes again. it's satisfying hearing oh-aew tell teh all of this now though. he's had time to reflect on how their relationship fell apart, so it's kind of as though he's finally venting all those built up frustrations to teh directly. like he's saying "fight for her" (the way teh should have fought for him), but then he catches himself when he realises he might be sounding a bit too invested and changes tack.

really, really happy that teh apologised to oh-aew for what happened between them though. idk this scene is just so beautifully acted by the both of them. so many mixed feelings all round. i really love it.

teh finally having inspiration for his thesis!! just like oh-aew said that teh was his biggest rival and inspiration...it really goes both ways. it's no surprise that teh only feels that inspiration the moment he meets oh-aew again.

also happy that teh apologised to airy for what happened too (glad that he took oh-aew's words to heart). must be so difficult to have to continue working with someone that broke your heart (and have to keep maintaining that couple image for the media too)...i’m sure it happens more often than we know...

jai's play being called 'i promised you the moon' about a relationship falling apart, and teh's play being called 'i told sunset about you' about the story of how they first met and fell in love (and how he’s still in love). we've come full circle. we're back at the start again.

oh-aew's back with his single sunflower!!

ngl i thought we were gonna get a throwback to the whole 'close your eyes to adjust to the dark' moment in ep 1, but i was wrong...

I SWEAR THEY HIT US WITH THE ITSAY CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS JUST TO MAKE ME CRY AGAIN AND I WAS DOING BETTER UP TILL NOW. BUT HERE I AM WITH THE WATERWORKS AGAIN 😭😭😭 they hit me with me one true weakness: itsay.

that being said, this play is sooooooo quintessentially teh. just a grand gesture sprung on oh-aew out of nowhere that he in no way asked for...teh, sweetie. i mean, i’m still crying over it and all, but...you can't just spring this on oh-aew after you've had like one amicable meeting since the both of you broke up ;;; at least he's figured out his feelings though, i guess??

i will say, i think it's kind of cool how he managed to sort of make their initial dream come true. they may not be the main protagonists on stage, but they're the main characters of teh's story. so he figured out how to make them both the lead protagonists in some way.

but maybe next time just tell oh-aew this directly. instead of using your thesis as a way to communicate your feelings (and have him relive your entire relationship on stage again with no preparation for what he was going to see whatsoever). teh has to do everything in the most dramatic fashion possible, huh...

if i were oh-aew, i prob would have run out of the theatre too bc that's a lot to take in when you just came to support your ex-bf's new play...

i'm so torn for oh-aew during this scene bc part of me is like 'teh's back at it again...OF COURSE he'd pull this', but another part of me is like 'grand gesture or not, he really does seem genuine this time around'. like this is what itsay teh would have done (and i will always have a soft spot in my heart for itsay teh and his unnecessary grand gestures).

the carpark scene where teh's confessing all his feelings and the itsay poster in between them. their the main protagonists of their story 😭

i was kind of falling for teh's words here until he said "i promise i won't ever make you sad" and i was like nooooooo. don't promise anything :((( how can oh-aew rely on your promises when you've already broken them before?? how is he supposed to be secure enough in knowing that what happened before won't happen again (though, i guess we learn later that there's no way he can be...and that's the point).

not to mention, that oh-aew has every right to feel upset over this. he just heard that teh repeated the same relationship and break up pattern all over again (even though teh sees it in a different light, how is oh-aew supposed to know that). how can oh-aew trust teh again if he just heard that he up and broke up with airy in the same way that he did with oh-aew? how is he supposed to trust that teh’s changed and won’t do that to him again?

making promises like this is naive and idealistic, and they’re past that stage now. it reminds me of teh in ep 1 when he was so sure that they were gonna act together one day. more often than not, promises only exist to be broken. they'll never be a guarantee. nothing will ever be a guarantee. i'm grateful that oh-aew told him as much (and brought up how he has trouble trusting teh after what he did to him). teh really needed to hear that.

omg i CALLED teh repeating oh-aew's words about not disappearing from his life (when they were both at the cape at the end of itsay). i mentioned that i always had a feeling this would come up again in one of my previous text/ask posts before (and that it would be teh to bring it up this time), and even though i had an inkling he would...it still hurts :(((

i started crying again when teh said that it'd be fine even if they're not-so-close friends anymore...the look of utter heartbreak on teh's face??????? like yes, i know he kind of deserves it after what he put oh-aew through...but it still makes my heart ache, okay. the acting in this scene OUTSOLD. honestly, this is the kind of angst that i like. where it feels like your heart is being crushed, but there's still a semblance of hope. i don't feel drained by it...just really fucking sad.

i squealed the second i saw bas!!!!!!!!!! i've been thinking this whole time that if any of the old cast were gonna make cameos in ipytm, it would be in this ep, and i'm so glad that was the case!!

anyway, best boy bas is back to dole out some more sage advice to oh-aew :'))) "your heart has already chosen"...if anyone can see that, it's bas. he saw that oh-aew's heart was set from the very start. the hearts want it wants. there's no one that's ever been able to compare for oh-aew.

it's never been a question of whether oh-aew still loves teh (he clearly does and has all this time), but it's whether he's willing to take that risk to trust him and try again...or choose not to and possibly regret it for the rest of his life. there'll never be an exact answer for something like this except the one that feels right to oh-aew. and honestly, i think either choice would have felt realistic...like bas said, some couples do thrive after they've had a break from one another (and had a chance to grow outside of their relationship). yet there are others that won't ever be able to get out of that toxic cycle. oh-aew will never know which one he and teh are until he gives it another go. for me, this is one of the most realistic scenarios in ipytm bc, just like irl, we'll never truly know what becomes of teh/oh-aew's relationship after the show ends...and that’s where the realism lies. but i think at this point we all knew the direction oh-aew's heart was already leaning towards anyway.

sidenote, the natural light in oh-aew's apartment is beautiful!!

okay, i gotta prepare myself for this next scene bc i ugly cried for a good ten minutes when i first watched this. there's something about teh sending oh-aew texts the entire time they were apart...how the texts shift from broken-hearted and pleading (right after the break up) to texts on important days. just teh continuously checking up on him and hoping one day he’ll text him back bc he’s never stopped thinking about him. the conflict that oh-aew must feel seeing all those texts hurts my fucking soul. he knows what the logical thing to do is, but he gave his heart away all those years ago to a boy on the beach...how do you even begin to let go of all that?? they did such a good job with the ost in this ep...every time the music builds up it makes me tear up all over again. and we know, despite everything, that there was only ever one choice for oh-aew. just like oh-aew requested on the cape, teh never truly disappeared from oh-aew's life...even if he could only exist for oh-aew in unread texts. something was always tethering them together.

maybe it's my wishful thinking, but do you think that teh not wearing a tie to hoon's wedding is bc he associates them with oh-aew?? i know the rest of moraoyulok aren't wearing them either, but since he's the host (and it’s his brother’s wedding), you’d think he’d dress more formally than them...also, hoon is wearing one so...

it's so nice to be back in phuket again and to see what the rest of the moraoyulok have been up too!!!!! wish we knew more about what’s been going on with bas though.

this wedding is so picturesque :')

i cannot BELIEVE they hit me with the skyline instrumental again...even just hearing it gets me choked up...they really know what they're doing this ep...hitting us hard with all those emotions 😭

okay, so another thing i love is that hoon's wedding speech is basically a parallel to nosomi's speech in itsay when she talks about how she fell in love with hoon. back then, oh-aew took it to heart bc it reflected what he wanted out of his relationship with teh. now, it's teh's turn to take hoon's words to heart. how sometimes love IS simple, even if it's not always easy. how the both of them came from different backgrounds, and don't always align on everything, but that's okay bc the most important thing is that they don't want to be without each other. like i said before, hoon's always pushing teh and oh-aew together (even inadvertently like this). love him.

of course, just as he's giving his speech ("she's the only person i want to grow old with"), teh's sees that oh-aew's made it to the wedding and his face completely lights up.

ahh, teh's mum is adorable with oh-aew (as teh watches on fondly).

as soon as they mentioned a bouquet toss was happening, i knew where this was going to go and idec!!!!!! brings on the cliches!!!!! after all the shit we've been through with the both of them on this journey, it's the least we deserve 😂

god, i really do love that their last scene together is back on the beach again. this finale has hit all the right spots for me, so i'm glad that they took us back to the place their initial itsay story started in order to restart their relationship again. it echoes the last ep of itsay too. how oh-aew started running to the cape first, and teh was late. only this time it's oh-aew that's the one that’s late to the wedding. they always find each other in the end even if their timing isn’t always synced.

i know that there were some people that were unhappy with how things ended, and i think those feelings are totally valid. put in oh-aew’s position, i know there are many people that would never have taken teh back after what he did. it’s all based on what values are most important to you in a relationship (and what you can forgive). but bc of that, there’s never a ‘wrong’ decision for oh-aew to make. what’s most important is that it’s HIS decision. honestly, i've already talked about how imo, ipytm has been pretty consistent with teh's character (it hasn't always been the easiest thing to watch, but i've never for a moment thought that the characters have acted ooc in any way...they’ve always had it in them to act the way they did throughout this series). and i def think that consistency applies to oh-aew's character as well. based on everything that we've seen from oh-aew, it was fairly obvious that his decision was always going to be teh. and sure, i would have loved to have seen more of his pov in eps 2-4...but i'm glad that he ended up being the main focus of this ep. i'm glad that he was the one that had the final call in this case (and we got to see the struggle he had in choosing his ending bc it obv wasn’t easy for him even if we knew what the outcome was going to be).

oh-aew's always been fairly level-headed. he doesn’t jump to conclusions, and rarely acts on his impulses (unless he’s sure that it’s what he really wants/what the other person wants too). for example, he only starts to properly pursue teh after the hammock scene when he’s confirmed that they're both feeling the same things for one another. i mean, there’s a reason why he never pursues bas in the same way even though he had a crush on him first. given this, i'm sure he would have weighed the pros and cons before deciding on what he truly wanted (even if he very clearly loves teh, he has to figure out for himself if that’s enough). promises or not, choosing to be in a relationship with someone, and esp someone that's hurt you in the past, is always going to be a risk. and despite knowing all this, he still chooses teh. just like he's chosen teh time and time again. bc to him, teh's worth the risks and the potential pain. like bas said, his heart is set. you can't help how you feel, and he’d rather live with the possible heartbreak than the regret of never knowing if they’d make it this time around or not.

and lbr, teh might have made oh-aew sad (miserable at times), but there's also no one else that makes oh-aew happiest, and oh-aew recognises that. oh-aew’s so in-tune with himself that he’s always recognised that. it’s why bas and q (and every one of those ig boys that have tried to shoot their shot with oh-aew) were never options in his eyes. no matter how lovely and sweet all those boys are, he was always only going to be his happiest with teh.

prob not everyone will agree with me on this, but i do think you can see the change in teh too. he's gone through the pain of actually losing oh-aew during this time, so now he actually knows what it's like to lose the love of his life (it’s not like in itsay when oh-aew was still constantly in reach even if they fought with one another). oh-aew up and vanished from his life for a year, and teh thought that he’d never be able to see him again. teh’s a celebrity, so oh-aew could have kept tabs on him as long as he was in the public eye...but teh would never have been able to do the same with oh-aew.

i said it before and i’ll say it again, but oh-aew has always been teh's one constant. even when he was distracted or confused, he's always been able to rely on oh-aew. always been able to come back to him. so when he lost him, i think it really woke him up. it's just one of those life lessons you need to experience to learn. sometimes you have to lose something (or someone) in order for you to realise how important they are to you. it's a hard lesson, and tbh we'll never really know for sure if he's changed, but just like oh-aew we have to take that leap and choose to believe that he has...and that their relationship will work out better now that they're older and wiser from all their past experiences (together and apart).

i actually really love oh-aew's ending speech here. how he says that they'll always be constantly changing and growing, that they're not the same as the two kids that fell in love all those years ago, but that no one could ever replace teh for him anyway. he almost faked teh out just like teh (kind of) did to him at the end of itsay 😭

IT'S THE DAMN MONTAGE (AND ESP THAT LAST SHOT OF THEM ON THE CAPE). BULLSEYE STRAIGHT INTO MY HEART.

but yeah, oh-aew's grown up so much...no more promises!!!!! just knowing that they love and want each other here and now, that's the important thing. they don't need to promise each other the future when they already have the present. also, oh-aew's constantly telling teh to communicate better, so i hope that this time he realises how important that is instead of stewing all his feelings away until he explodes like he’s been so prone to do in the past.

i love that the sunflowers have turned to a wedding bouquet (white roses), symbolising a new beginning for them.

LOVE that this scene is in daylight...after all those night scenes, we're starting off in the light of day once again :') no more promises to the moon thank u!!!!!

THE KISS ON THE BEACH AS THE MUSIC SWELLS. remember when they used to dance and flirt around each other?? now we're talking about commitments and kissing on the beach. love that for them.

teh posting a picture with oh-aew on his ig and captioning it 'i do'...adorable, but i would not want to be his pr team rn hahaha.

TARN CAMEO YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I SCREAMED. my fave girl. so happy she's got herself a new boy too!!!!!

top and khim are dating??????? CUTE. honestly, a travesty that we didn't get more khim js.

even jai haha. but anyway, i've moved on. guess he’s in NYC now like he wanted.

I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THE ENDING MADE ME SMILE I'M JUST SO HAPPY FOR THEM (also in tears once again ffs).

i've been so invested in teh/oh-aew's story for so long now...and we went through some hurdles (to put it lightly), but i think i'm overall happy with how things ended up for them. i had a feeling from the very start that we would get a happy ending...and though i did go through some massive moodswings throughout this whole ipytm ordeal (hah), i can tell that they always intended on giving us this ending. there's no way they would have given us as much angst as they did if they weren't going to give us a something uplifting to see us through to the end. there had to be light at the end of the tunnel.

if you've read any of my previous thoughts/recaps posts, i think you know that i've had some criticisms when it comes to this series, and as satisfied as i am with the end, i still stand by all of those. the time skips took away too much of the character and relationship development. it meant that we had to fill all of that out ourselves (which shouldn’t have been the case). there was too much focus on certain characters (teh and jai), that could have been used to focus more on other main characters (oh-aew). there were times when it was just a matter of taste for me where i felt that things were too bleak/didn't like the direction of the story (even if i could sense the realism of what they were trying to tell). and the truth is, it was always going to be hard bc no matter how much i didn't want to compare the two, you can't really help the comparisons to itsay...no matter how different the vibes of the two series' are. all that being said, i'm still really happy that the series ended as strongly as it did. like i said at the start, it's the ending that i needed. the beautiful send off that teh and oh-aew’s love story deserved.

does ipytm have the same rewatch value as itsay? no. BUT i know i'll be rewatching at least ep 5 over and over again bc i genuinely loved it with my whole heart. it’s not itsay (nor do i want it to be itsay), but it gave me some of the same itsay feels that i really, really needed after everything we went through with ipytm. it’s the ep that healed me (and thank god for it).

i'm thankful to nadao and the cast and crew for giving us both itsay and ipytm. this whole bkpp project has been so hugely important to me. i'm so eternally grateful to them for creating this world and these characters. i truly hope that this won't be the last we see of bkpp either. i’ll watch them in anything at this point (together or apart...but of course i want to see them in something together again more than anything).

to anyone that read any of my way too long text posts, thank you!!!!! i started off just wanting to get all my itsay feelings out of my system, and i never actually intended to do them for almost all the eps, but here we are. i can't believe this is my last one. it's been so much fun :') idk if there’ll ever be a next time, but you never know!!

[beelspillowpet]

I know at some point around the end of season 1 MC is talking with Luke & Simeon about the end of the exchange program. Simeon says something about seeing MC in the Celestial Realm at some point, and Luke responds with something along the lines of, “you mean when they’re dead” (at least I think that’s how it went)

So it’s canon that dead humans go to the Celestial realm, though I’m not sure if they can go to the Devildom. And I’d assume they become angels if they go to the Celestial realm.

You reminded me I was gonna write something like that! I had an idea that Melody at some point goes with Luke and Simeon to visit the Celestial realm and maybe while walking around she sees him and they reunite. With Sky finally getting closure about how Melody’s been doing. (I had an idea that it was against the rules for Sky to go to the human realm to visit her cause he wasn’t born an angel) I didn’t get that far into the idea, but I might try writing something for it.

Though he’d still look the same age, at least in my opinion. So he’d still look 15. And Melody is currently 23. Not to mention pretty much her entire appearance has changed since then.

I also forgot to mention that she got a tattoo covering her upper left arm in honor of Sky. It looks like a cloudy sky with a rainbow (the rainbow being the only colored part) and has his birthday (5/3/1998) on the left end of the rainbow, and the date he died (7/16/2013) on the right end.

I really like the twins. Their personalities, what we know about their backstory, and their relationships with the characters are really interesting. I don’t really know what else to say, but I really like them :)

Oh youre totally right! I definitely forgot about that. Now I dont see why the rules wouldn’t apply that bad people go to the devildom...

Technically, its against the rules for angels to have too much interaction with humans so to not fuel their beliefs. something about naturally being good and belonging in heaven versus fake belief and being good only to be in heaven in the end, versus actually being good or something or another.... so it being against the rules makes sense! (thats how the whole war about lilith started anyway)

The twins are sort of a parallel of the IRL me and my late twin brother. There are some things that are hyped up about them, but personality wise and behavior wise, theyre fairly close to how we used to be. I have PLEEEENTY of wild stories to go around about what my brother and I got up to as kids lmaooo, stories that would make mammon worried for our well-beings

[parkinglothater]

tagged by @loser-dot-com u were top suggested when i typed “@” do u feel special

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Apple Juice????  2. Phone call: WEll a cute guy asked to call me and im gonna go with that bc i havent called anyone in years 3. Text message: To Ari: “Also Mama is a song by MCR and I’m too emo to get over that”in reference to the EXO song Mama 4. Song you listened to: Currently listening to Wolf by EXO, Ive falen into the fandom 5. Time you cried: While I was kissing Hot Guy mentioned above cause we were both really emotional that night 

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: not technically 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I mean idk, sometimes I regret ever kissing anybody but  8. Been cheated on: no thank goodness 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: I’m depressed right now 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: purple, pink, and blue like the sunset

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yeah 16. Fallen out of love: nope  17. Laughed until you cried: hell yeah 18. Found out someone was talking about you: my goodness yes 19. Met someone who changed you: U cant meet people here but yeah ive changed 20. Found out who your friends are: yeah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I dont have facebook

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: my facebook is nonexistent 23. Do you have any pets: A big ol’ bub named Bear, hes a Boxer Mastiff mix and i love hi more than myself, and a tiny bup Coco, 24. Do you want to change your name: Yea I dont really feel like Caitlyn or Renee really fit me but I also dont know what name does 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I took bread to band as a treat bc bc I dislike cake  26. What time did you wake up: imma say 11:30am but really it was 1:45pm 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sending memes back and forth with Hot Guy

28. Name something you can’t wait for: getting out of this horrible place  going to all the tourist-y places in California in a few weeks

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 3 hours ago when we ate dinner 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: either having a bit more money or at least having a house of our own 31. What are you listening right now: Parallel by Heffron Drive, i need softer music if im gonna sleep b4 3am 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tommy? He’s pretty cool  and like 3 people I know like him

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: myself not knowing whats happening to me and being expected to just go with the flow  34. Most visited Website: Youtube

LOST QUESTIONS.

35. Mole/s: none 36. Mark/s: I have a little kinda feather shaped birthmark on my chest and a teeny tiny heart on my thigh 37. Childhood dream: to have a room of my own 38. Hair Color: kinda gold brown I’d say 39. Long or short hair: ive grown it out so it reaches my shoulders now so whatever you count that as 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah and its kinda working out????? 41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes  42. Piercings: 2 holes in each ear soon to change hopefully 43. Bloodtype: no one tells me these things 44. Nickname: Ren 45. Relationship status: i dont really know what to call it at this point 46. Zodiac: Capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Shadowhunters hell yeah 49. Tattoos: I dont have any yet but i want a whole bunch 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: i wish 53. Sport: what is sport??? 55. Vacation:  Spain is so pretty, or Italy, Vegas, NY 56. Pair of trainers: listen ive had the same pair of Converse for 4 years they will get me thru everything

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating Currently: nothing 58. Drinking currently: nothing 59. I’m about to: text someone about some Important Stuff or sleep 61. Waiting for: freedom from this prison  62. Want: some weed??? idk a whole bunch of things im kinda needy 63. Get married: not really I dont see a point in tying myself to someone  64. Career: my lame ass thinks i can make money being a makeup artist

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs all the way 66. Lips or eyes: both are so attractive but eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Abs are so hot sign me the fuck up

71. Sensitive or loud: Loud I guess???

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i am the worst when it comes to not losing things, I havent seen my glasses in months

77. Turned someone down: Yeah

78. Sex in the first date: technically no

79. Broken someone’s heart: i think i mightve but i cant be sure

80. Had your heart broken: Let me tell u this bitch.

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: no, no one close to me has ever died, and i normally repress any negative feelings so

83. Fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: not at all

85. Miracles: Yeah

86. Love at first sight: seems like lame fairy tale shit 

87. Santa Claus: yeah

88. Kiss in the first date: totally

89. Angels: yeah

OTHER:

90. Current best friends’ names: irl: Ari, Sarah, Morgan, Emily?????

91. Eyecolor: technically Hazel but really more of a green

92. Favorite movie: Im a sucker for Titanic

Oh yeah im supposed to tag ppl @lonelyspacelover @queennhowell @phichit-af