#totally inspired by the southern rendition of the funeral scene

[clockwayswrites]

Et Tu?

“Et tu, Brute?” Tim gasped, hand splayed over his chest as he swayed in his seat— perilously close to falling off it.

Duke just snorted. “I am so not Brutus here. No way. I am no where near stabby enough to be the Brutus of this family.”

Tim motioned, like the dramatic little bitch he was, at the stack of Draw 4s on the center pile.

“Man, I was not going to draw that! That’s like, twenty—”

“Twenty-four,” Cass corrected.

“—twenty-four cards. Not my fault you don’t have none.” Duke finished, crossing his arms.

“I had one,” Tim groused. “I just didn’t have two! But no. You, Brutus—”

“Still not the Brutus.” Duke said and rolled his yes. “Damian is a hundred percent the Brutus of the family.”

All of the siblings stopped to consider that, looking at Damian who just scowled back at them from behind his very large hand of Uno cards. It was oddly intimidating, or maybe that’s just how Duke felt. Dick looked close to cooing.

“…Damian did start the Draw 4 war too,” Dick pointed out after a beat.

“Et tu, Brute?” Tim gasped, playing his performance out again but this time directed at Damian.

“Tt. It was a strategic move; you have too few cards. Besides, it is only just for you being so certain you might win.” Damian said. Which was a bratty way to say it, sure, but Duke had to admit the little demon dude was right.

“Ah,” Jason started to grin that made Duke want to scoot his chair back. What he didn’t expect, as Jason folded his cards, was for the other to lean into his Crime Alley accent heavily as he adopted an obviously theatrical air. He motioned from Damian to Tim to the cards. “The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious: If it were so, it was a grievous fault, and grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.”

“Oh no,” Dick said, softly horrified.

Jason leaned forward over the table as he moved to stand. “Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest— for Brutus is an honourable man.”

“You got him started on Shakespeare.”

“So are they all, all honourable men—” Jason swept his hand, motioning at all of them and then placed a closed fist on his chest. “Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.”

“What did you do, Tim?”

Tim, for his part, looked honestly distressed as Jason flung an arm over his shoulder and pulled him close.

“He was my friend, faithful and just to me!” Jason lamented, looking for the world as if he had just been crying.

Duke was admittedly impressed by the act.

Tim whispered, under Jason’s next line, “I’m so, so sorry.”