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#totally correct superman and lois quotes
undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jon: "Zoinks!
Jordan: "Ruh-Roh!"
Sarah: "Jeepers!"
Natalie: "Jinkies!"
Jon-El: "FUCK!"
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thegeekerynj · 4 years
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An Occasional Attempt to Read, Discuss and Review the Wonders of Comics
By: John Rafferty, cranky old man, and Fan of All Things Comics
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The ALL Death Metal Issue 
Dark Nights: Death Metal # 5 - 6 (DC Comics)
# 5: Writer: Scott “the Scourge’ Snyder   Pencils: Greg ‘Cold-Blooded’ Capullo  Inks: Jonathan ‘Gallows God’ Glapion
#6: Writer: Scott ‘Slasher’ Snyder   Pencils: Greg ‘ Crusher’ Capullo   Inks: Jonathan ‘Death Punch’ Glapion
1)  ‘Speaking of Batman, What’d you do to the Castle Guy?
Simple. I transferred his soul from that Gotham to the one in your hand.
Thanks to a modified BRAINIAC algorithm, he will remain trapped inside for centuries, even thousands of yea - - -
Or, you could step on him!
2) He’s sent his evil Earths! I can sense them coming! Get Prepared!
Bizarro SO NOT prepared!
Wait!,What?
I have a very sharp rock.
From here on out, we fight together, every LIVING Being on this - - -
AHEM.
Sorry. Every being - - Living, DEAD, Undead - - We Fight together!
Better’
3)  ‘I’ve heard a lot of Prayers on the battlefield. Sometimes they’re whispered. Sometimes they’re screamed at the sky. They usually come before the worst of it. I’ve heard Prayers for Victory, for Providence, Prayers for Forgiveness. Whatever’s in a soldier’s heart, whatever longing, you hear it then.
God, I wish I still had my hair.’
4) ‘You wanna say it kid?
All right everyone… #$%* CHARGE!
Language kiddo, Language.’
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Greetings, Gentle Readers, and welcome one and all to the back half of this, the ride to Crazy Town called Death Metal!
Now, before we go too far into this, and believe me, there’s lots to touch on, let’s recap:
At some point following Hell Arisen, The Batman Who Laughs, and his infected Multiversal minions, recreated much of the Earth - Prime Universe in his image
Perpetua is off destroying other Universes, collecting Crisis Energy, so she can remake the Universes in HER vision
Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Harley Quinn, and Scott Free are being kept as ‘Wardens’,  payment for protecting their loved ones
Batman is controlling the Black Lantern (we know what that means)
Superman has been infected with Anti-life
There are many heroes running around the reconfigured fighting their battles to maintain their freedom, and perhaps, turn the war
There are villains doing so, too
Jarro is totally badass!
Jonah Hex is so much moreso!
When doing multiple issues, and having so many great snarky quotes, you can’t pick just one… and 4 still isn’t enough!
So, between the Metal, Year of the Villain, Hell Arisen, the Primary Death Metal story, the side issues, which in some cases were better than the primary story, and the 5 issue crossover into JLA (a true crossover, not a Crisis 1-Panel type of crossover), we have come almost two years to get to where we are…
Issue 5 and 6, two issues which carry most of the motion toward the endgame of Issue 7, really deliver. We get payoff from some of the earlier storylines. We get explanations, and confirmations for things that were hinted at early in the storyline. 
There’s paragons of virtue working alongside villains. There’s Black Lanterns working with Red and Green Lanterns, Supermen, good, evil and cyborg, coordinated for one goal.
And an Amazonian Princess leading the largest group of Czarnian Bastiches ever seen.
All against the Hordes of the Laughing Bat.
I’m going a little off script here for a minute, so please, don’t treat this as a reason to zoom ahead to the next stop…
I must admit, I am sorry to hear the readership has dropped off for this storyline. While I understand there are choices that need to be made, to say there are too many crossovers is ludicrous, especially if you stuck through the original Metal Saga, then the Year of the Villain , with every title having three or four crossover books, then right into Hell Arisen, with the Infected one-shots, and the crossovers for all those books, and the native title crossovers.
The way Snyder and Capullo, and ultimately DC handled this Event was the right call… Keep everything isolated to the Event Books. Let the series continue to play out, so the Readers were not forced to make the unfortunate ‘Do I really need to pick up THIS title, even though I never read the book’ decision.
I mean, outside of the 5 issue JLA run, which wound up being a block of issues which were 100% a JLA story, links to the Death Metal storyline, there were none of the ‘Crossover Banners’ we have grown so used to since Crisis, Infinite Crisis, Invasion, Secret Wars, Spider-Geddon, Millennium, Civil War, and I could go on ad nauseam… No, for once, they took the High Road, and basically made the reader aware ‘This Book Is Part Of This Story’ Period. 
By giving the Readers the choice, do I want the Extras, or do I just want the Main Storyline, there was a show of Actual Understanding for the consumer. There was no need to stick 2 panels in a book to connect it to the Event, let’s play it out separately.
I’ve been reading comics for a very long time. THIS WAS A FIRST.
My feeling is, many Readers saw the first two issues, then the One Shots, and immediately thought they needed everything to know what was going on in the story. Now, that isn’t to say the first two issues weren’t a little slow, but, like I’ve been saying all along, that was the hill, and Issue Three, well, that was the First Drop, and we kept picking up speed from there.
I think many got out a little too early.
I can only compare it to a fine wine, which, upon opening, might not have everything you want in that first sip. However, once there is a little bit of breathing, slightly more time has progressed from the first sip to the second, there is so much more nuance, and flavor and outright appeal, that the progression through to the last swallow makes each prior an event unto itself.
So it is with great literature, and excellent graphic novels.
But I have digressed long enough.
These issues carry us from the action of the JLA ‘Doom Metal’ segue, where the reformed amalgam of the League, League Dark, and Titans fight their way to the Omega Knight, and both save the Martian Manhunter from his Bat influenced doppelgänger, and defeat the Omega Knight, recover the Death Metal, the legendary ‘Tenth Metal’ (Nth Metal actually being the Ninth Metal), which can bestow the ability to harness, unmake or create worlds and universes. This is the building material of the gods, used to create the Mother Boxes utilized by the Fourth World.
We also find out what ‘thinking small’ is all about, as Wonder Woman finally figures out what Lex was alluding to with the story of his childhood, and as a direct result, we get a different rendition of the WW84 Armor.
As setups go, these issues laid out the roadmap to the end of the story, making the participants fight for every inch of ground they travelled, every single enemy they extinguish.
Scott Snyder has paved the way to a MASSIVE FINAL Issue, a No Holds Barred, No DQ, No Time Limit , RFK Stadium Pelt Santa with Ice Balls Brawl between Wonder Woman and her Forces of the Multiverse and The Darkest Night and His Corrupted Dark Universe Minions, Winners Take All!
As with the last 4 issues, Greg Capullo and Jonathan Glapion have left nothing to chance, portraying each panel with the care and dedication of master surgeons, giving the Reader visceral eye candy, which rips, rends and tears at the fabric of emotion, similar to the Warhead mixed in with pieces of lemon candy. In some cases, it is enough to bring tears, always for the right reason.
May the Gods, Snyder, Capullo and Glapion have mercy on our souls, as they bring the goods one more time! On to Issue 7!
Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶.5
(And, I am sorry for my time on the soapbox.)
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Death Metal: The Secret Origin
Writers: Scott Snyder & Geoff Johns    Artists: Jerry Ordway  (1 - 7, 35 - 38), Francis Manapul (8-12, 32 - 34), Ryan Benjamin & Richard Friend (14 -21), Paul Pelletier & Norm Rapmund (22 - 31)
‘Look! The Evil Worlds! They’re vanishing!
Whoever did it, they just gave us a fighting chance!
Whoever did it is dead.
But who? Who did it?
We’ll never know.
RRF.
RAARF.
AAAOOOO!
———————————————————————————————————
The Secret Origin…
Or, the one where we figure out Superboy Prime…
Yes, Gentle Readers, this is the story Thirty-Five Years in the making.The Story of Clark Kent of Earth Prime, a young man who, on a night unlike any other found he had the same super powers as his comic book hero and namesake, Superman.
In the Infinite Crisis storyline, Superboy Prime was written having gone insane, having been in this ‘perfect utopian pocket dimension’, too long with the memories that everyone he had loved, his parents, his sweetheart Laurie, were all dead, he while was alive in an idyllic world.
Who wouldn’t lash out… and KILL Superman and Lois Lane of Earth-2?
Scott Snyder and Geoff Johns bring a completion to this story, bringing it full circle, to examine the character, and his psyche, what he has been living with, dealing with, and ultimately showing him to be a sympathetic character, and the hero he has always dreamed of being.
Now, as we learned in the Trinity Crisis one shot, The Bat who Laughs travelled the timelines, pulling specific players from the points of their defeats, and gave them an opportunity to correct their defeats… and did so with Darkseid, the Anti-Monitor and of course Prime. 
The Bat’s plan? To derail the Trinity, and ultimately end the War before the major fighting got started.
What wasn’t counted on was the ability of Diana to convince Clark Kent that the Bat would find a way to make the reward insufferable, and that she would help him to become the hero he had always seen himself as, the one he wanted to be by fighting against the Dark Universe’s influences, and help bring about the rebirth of the Multiverse that was.
Which brings us to the Secret Origin.
This is where we learn what the Bat offers Superboy Prime, what he thinks will sway this young man to give in to the madness which took him once, the madness he has regretted, and ultimately suffered because of, ever since.
Where we learn the measure of those he has been teamed with, and whether they Hero or Villain, are deserving of the titles they carry, based on how he is viewed.
Ultimately, we learn a lesson some of us have already known, that in the measure of intelligence, the instincts of a dog are far more impressive than the most intelligent man’s thoughts. By miles.
At this point, I would like to say when this character was included as part of Death Metal, I saw some form of this story coming. The character received truly shabby treatment after Crisis, and in Infinite Crisis, rather than being treated as broken, was painted as a villain. 
Hell, Hank Hall got better treatment after Armageddon 2001!
Anyway, Scott Snyder and Geoff Johns have written what must be seen as the HAVE TO READ Story of this series, outside of the series itself. This is not only a great story, it is a clinic on how to build a character, These writers have taken this broken child, a Kal-El who has lost everything he loved, over and again, and shown how a man can be saved.
Through belief, faith, and the love of a dog.
So, you see, Mr. Williamson, this is how you write a Redemption Arc.
The art for this story is transformative (heh heh heh). For each section of the story, whether it is the Man, the Superboy as seen by Others, The Boy and A Dog, or the Fight Scenes, there is a specific artist for each portion of the arc, with specific strengths. As such, they will be addressed individually…
Jerry Ordway opens and closes the book. I could stop here, and anyone who is a longtime DC Reader would know why this needed no elaboration. He has been a DC staple since the 1980s, known for artwork that is detailed artistically accurate and beautiful. For anyone who does not know his work, he is technically accurate and imaginatively beautiful. For comparisons, think Neal Adams, Marshall Rogers, the Dodsons, or Capelli and Glapion… but, he’s doing it by himself, no inker to interpret his work. (Example - the comics spinner rack, with the 1984 accurate covers, and bending of same from being riffled through).
Then, of course, there is the final splash page of the book, an homage to Action Comics #1. This page would have brought a tear to this cranky old man’s eye, were I not already all cried out…
Ryan Benjamin and Richard Friend bring us through the character driven portions of the story, the interactions between Prime and the other members of the ‘Super Squad’, and the battle with the Bat’s team… The Superiors of the Ancient House of El - The Saint, the Shepherd, the Savior, and the Last Sun. 
These pages are beautifully rendered, detailed and distinct from all the other artists, but not distractingly so. This method of storytelling, with the truly distinct art styles gives an illusion of the ‘fractured’ nature of the character, how he is broken on some level, and as a result, is  somewhat disjointed. 
Add to this the ‘Temporal and Dimensional Dissonance’ displayed when Prime interacts with the characters, the explosive nature of the differences he sees when he physically assaults one of the Supermen, and the entirety of the storytelling process is on display from the mind of the character.  Without access to the script, there is no way to know how much of this is directly on the Art Team, however, as the interpretation is important, I’m happy to give the tie to the runner here.
It works on so many levels.
The battle between the Bat and Prime falls to the team of Paul Pelletier and Norm Rapmund. This work is sharp, explicit and explosive, showing the inter-connectivity between Prime and the Multiverse, a carryover from the Crisis events which become a major strength for Prime. Every touch, every punch evokes sights, visions of things that could be, could have been, may still be…
And now, the reason the old crank was all cried out…
Francis Manapul.
I held off talking about these pages due the something special I found in them.
For the most part, there were two characters on these pages. Yes, the first page and a half featured the entire Superman Squad, including the Villains, but my focus was drawn to, and laser focused on the Boy and the Dog.
You could say Manapul merely rendered the interpretation of the words Snyder and Johns wrote to describe each panel, but in the end, He. Drew. Each. Panel. Manapul owned each and every panel, whether it featured the Boy, the Dog, or Both. 
You could say Francis Manapul made each panel his bitch.
Now, any person who has owned a dog knows that the dog is actually the one who selects who their master will be, who they will love, and who they will stand beside, from the time they are both pups, until their end of times.
Manapul proves he understands this. He expresses this through graphite and ink, bringing more emption to the face of a dog than I’ve seen on many people. The feeling expressed in Krypto’s face tells as much of the story here as does Prime’s expressions. The expressiveness is captivating, and deserving of very tear shed.
In years to come, comics fans will (as Comics Fans do) bring up this story on a level with Old Yeller, The Biscuit Eater, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Alan Moore’s ‘Man of Tomorrow’ and the incomparable Harlan Ellison’s ‘A Boy and His Dog’, as examples of how to write animals with feeling.
They won’t be wrong, except, in my humble opinion, this story is head and shoulders above the others.
This is the story which changes the entire Death Metal Saga, and more importantly, that finally redeems one of the most maligned characters in the Post - Crisis DC Universe.
Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶
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Dark Nights: Last Stories of the DC Universe
Writers: Joshua Williamson, James Tynion IV, Scott Snyder, Jeff Lemire, Mariko Tamaki, Gail Simone, Christopher Sebela, Cecil Castellucci, Mark Waid
Artists: Travis Moore, Rafael Albuquerque, Daniel Sampere, Meghan Hetrick, Christopher Mooneyham, Minka Andulfo, Francis Manapul
‘An Oath.
Excuse me?
I would’ve liked to have had an oath. Just something cool to say when suiting up. Was always a little jealous of the Lanterns, to be honest.
“Beware my noise! Black Canary’s Yell!”
Dork! Remind me not to let you write it!’
———————————————————————————————————
When all is said and done, it is necessary to go with a Green Arrow quote. There is no greater level of snark, and from a writing perspective, I just can’t use Robin Williams’ standard.
Gentle Readers, when it is time to go into the Final Battle, this is the group of characters, no heroes, one should want to see standing by, ready to take up arms for the people.
Now, with this particular book falling between issues 5 and 6 of the Death Metal series, these are the stories of the group of characters currently coming together around Donna Troy, Wonder Girl.
Teen Titans, Titans, JLA, and other groups as they have fallen together, all these characters have at one point or another crossed paths with Donna Troy, which makes her a perfect rally point for the writers. The fact she has been around, either as part of the Original Teen Titans, or with Wonder Woman since the Sixties, makes her one of the iconic characters in this storyline.
Williamson, Tynion and Snyder have no problem waltzing her around from group to group, checking on heroes, villains, combined groups. Tao make sure all is well, and to make sure a friendly face is seen before everything goes to Hell in ahand basket burning hand basket.
Which is when Wally West shows up.
This compilation of short stories gives some insight into the characters, their mindsets, and how they see all this playing out.
The Green Lantern story, is one of regrets repented, with Hal Jordan and Thaal Sinestro fighting on the same side, once again, in more ways than one. Jeff Lemire can write a simple story that tugs at the heartstrings, and brings real feelings. The artwork by Rafael Albuquerque is simple, and everything necessary for this story.
The Wonder Woman story, ‘The Question’, is the self examination of why we fight, what drives a person. The question, posed as a riddle by the Riddler, is simple, What do you call a person who’s greatest strength is their weakness, Someone who can never win, and never lose, A person who must fight for justice, but brings an end to justice?
The answer, both simple and complex. And the basis for the story.
Green Arrow and Black Canary take center stage in Dust From a Distant Storm. A story of oaths, and OATHS, and a question unspoken, but answered. Leave it to Gail Simone  and Meghan Hetrick to kick my ass in 8 pages. Feelings, laughs, Joker Megalodons, and the daughter of the Arrow and Canary from one of the 46 destroyed Earths. This was my second favorite story in the book, excluding the wrapper.
Cecil Castellucci is a name I have not heard before reading this story of the Bat-Family, We Fight For Love. That I hadn’t heard of him before meant I had no expectations, other than the potential to be disappointed. I was very happily surprised, and this story was a real gem. 
Now, part of the reason for this was the artwork of Mirka Andolfo, whose soft lines, and sharp detail (go ahead, figure that one out) made this a story more about the family that exists around Bruce Wayne, the young men and women who look to him as a father, and he to them, as his children. The beauty of the storytelling, the simplicity of some of the framing, the whole idea of the dead man bringing the family together to celebrate life, well, it struck a chord in me which has been hit all too often in this series.
And did I mention Damien, Magpie, Croc and Despero in a High Stakes Poker game… and Jason Todd trading some time to listen to Mara the swordsmith for a new sword? How about Dick trying to reconcile with Barbara before going into battle, in case there isn’t a later?
Oh, and a wedding.
My favorite story, well, that would be from one of my favorite writers, Mark Waid.
His story, Man of Tomorrow, is one we have been waiting for, or promised, or expected in some variation for, ahhhh, probably 30 years, since GENERATIONS. It’s a simple tale, one of desire to spend the last little while before all Hellscape breaks out with your loved ones, but also needing to answer the call of duty. How can a man accomplish both?
As it turns out, if the Man of Tomorrow has a piece of Time Hopper tech from the Thirtieth Century, he can answer the call to duty as many times as necessary in one minute… and he does. And why wouldn’t he, after all, he is Superman.
This, Gentle Readers, was the finest story of the collection, again excluding the wrapper story. Mark Waid pulled out all the stops, never took his foot off the gas, cut the brake lines, and powered through this story, not with action, but emotion. 
Now, Mr. Waid would have been nowhere without the pencils and inks of Francis Manual. I will NOT repeat myself here, as I had much to say about his work above. I can only say, Thank You Great Creators that there were no animals in this story. *snf*
Eight pages of people in need. Famine arrested, schools built, food delivered, the poor made whole, the damaged, saved.
Good-byes made to family and friends.
And, when the minute is up, the rest of the night is for his wife and son. 
I hate these people for making me feel.
And now, ‘Together’, where we see EVERY Titan from every iteration of the team… picking up right after Wally shows up.
This is the first time Donna has seen Wally since the Heroes in Crisis storyline, when his insanity brought about the Speed Force explosion that killed Roy Harper, their friend, and teammate.
Time, and history make strange bedfellows in this world, hugs and forgiveness become commonplace.
So does resurrected Black Lantern Titans.
Leaving this story, the Titans of Old, and New are whole, they’ve had their pep talk, and been told they are better than the JLA, because they have been facing the same things the JLA faced, but as children… which makes the Titans the team to be.
And, off we go, Gentle Readers, to the last steep hill on this pan dimensional roller coaster ride in an effort to reset the Multiverse. Wh will live, who will die, how much will be reset… only time, and Scott Snyder know for sure.
But, I can tell you this. I am looking forward to the last two issues of this series!
Out of 5🌶        🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jonathan: "So the first thing we need to do is butter the pan."
Jon-El: *raising a frying pan behind Jon to beat the shit out of him*
Jonathan: *turning around* "DO NOT!!"
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jordan: "You okay?"
Jonathan: "Yeah, why?"
Jordan: "I mean, I just watched you slip down a couple stairs, lay on the floor a minute, then start singing the baby shark song soo.."
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jonathan: "Jordan! Jordan! Dude! I have powers!"
Jordan: "Really!? That's amazing! What powers do you have?"
Jonathan: *turns into a different person*
Jordan, horrified: "Wha-how- how did you do that?!"
Jonathan: "Turns out I was a shapeshifter this whole time! Makes sense why I can't figure my identity out."
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jonathan: "Nothing is gonna ruin my happiness and mental health! Nothing!"
Jon-El: *outside, dancing over Jordan who's laying on the ground*
Jonathan: "Oh my dammit, JON-EL!"
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undertheknightwing · 1 year
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Jonathan: "Hey, look," *lifts up a heart shaped cookie* "This ones a heart! That's how I feel about you!"
Gar: *loud happy crying*
Jonathan: *lifts up another cookie* "This one's like Michigan, that's how I feel about you."
Jordan: "What the hell does that mean??"
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jon: "Okay, look, I believe you. But why does this keep happening?"
Jordan: "At first, I thought it was fate giving me a chance with Sarah. But even when I swept Sarah off her feet, we were thrown back in time."
Jon: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You swept Sarah off her feet?"
Jordan: "We were this close to kissing, but she doesn't remember any of it. And she never will. We're trapped in a temporal loop, caused by a lightning disruption on the space-time continuum!"
Jon: "... Huh?"
Jordan: "Like the kiddy menu at Benny's. Horsey can't get out!"
Jon: "OHHH!! Why didn't you just say so?"
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Natalie: "Thanks for picking me up, Jon."
Jonathan: "No problem."
Natalie: "Hey, why do you have a bag of dog treats in your cup holder? Last I checked, you didn't have a dog."
Jonathan: "Nah, I don’t. Those are for my boyfriend."
Natalie: "... What?"
Jonathan: "Uh- I- I mean, my boyfriend can turn into a dog! No! He has a dog!..." *slams head into the steering wheel, blowing the truck horn*
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jonathan: *saying/doing something stupid*
Garfield: *sighs in 'aw that's my idiot'* "What are we gonna do with him?"
Jordan: *completely serious* "Abandon him at a gas station."
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jordan: "Guys, pizza week is not just a week. It is a week about family coming together. It's seven days of putting aside what makes us different and coming together as pizza lovers."
Jonathan: *whispering to Gar* "Does he think we don't know what a week is?"
Jordan: *thinking: "I wasn't sure they knew what a week was."*
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undertheknightwing · 3 years
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Jordan: [walking into Jon's room] Oh, good, you're not busy.
Jonathan: [trying to put on eyeliner] Actually, Jordan.. I am busy.
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jordan: "I had this horrible dream last night."
Jon: "What was it about?"
Jordan: "There were two more of you."
Jon-El: "Ouch. I would consider a dream I'm in as a wonderful experience."
Jon 2.0: "Wow Jor, are we that bad to you?"
Jordan: *panicked and confused screaming*
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undertheknightwing · 2 years
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Jordan, standing in the kitchen doorway: Jon, what are you doing?
Jonathan: Making chocolate pudding.
Jordan: It's four o'clock in the morning, why on earth are you making chocolate pudding??
Jonathan: Because I've lost control of my life.
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undertheknightwing · 3 years
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Clark: What's the rule?
Jordan: No daring Jonathan to do stupid things.
Clark: Right, why?
Jonathan: Because I have no regard for my personal well-being.
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undertheknightwing · 3 years
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Jonathan: [looks at Gar laying in a box and laughs] What are you doing?
Gar: If I fits, I sits.
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