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puckpocketed · 4 months ago

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19/07/2024 - Tory Pitner joins USHL in Focus: 2024 NHL Draft Edition

My transcript of Tory Pitner's interview with Paul Allan for the USHL. Lightly edited where unavoidable for clarity. Extra context in (round brackets) and adjustments for ease of reading in [square brackets]. Text in bold are all my highlights, stuff I thought was very interesting.

There's so much to say about how talkative he is. It's rarely useless chatter, it's always answering the question and on topic, and it's clear that anything he says is informed and well-considered.

I love how much he seems to think about his long-term development goals, and how his entire junior career up to the draft (and now beyond) has been about pushing himself in the right ways, finding people who he can learn from, working and working and chipping away at his goals. It feels like he could tell all the scouts exactly what they're writing about him if they asked him to break down his own game. I get the feeling he knows exactly what kind of player he is and where he needs to improve. He says, with such certainty, that his hard work will pay off. Like he knows exactly what trajectory he's on and that all he has to do is work to get there.

I like the way he thinks about leadership and responsibility, how he simply wants it, and how when he sees leaders he admires he does everything to take lessons from them. I am not surprised he's worn letters for so many teams he's been on. He's had the C twice; during his U-15 year and for the Hlinka Gretzky Cup. He craves challenge. He studies the game and loves it dearly. He can name just about every person who has ever helped him get to where he is, and he attempts to do just that. He is so, so smart. I don't know how else to sell people on this guy - I think maybe one day he's really gonna be something, whether it's as a player or a coach, or who knows. But I think I'll leave it at that and let him speak for himself.

Paul Allan: Well we’re joined now by a very busy young fella named Tory Pitner, former Youngstown Phantom who’s about to start his college career at the University of Denver. We’re excited to talk about a couple things here with Tory, it’s been a busy two years for Tory… You’re from Greenwich Connecticut, you’re an East Coast guy, but it appears to me that before you ended up in Youngstown, you spent some time on the West Coast with minor programs there; with the LA Junior Kings, the San Jose Junior Sharks, and then prep school.

So let’s talk about your path to Youngstown first, and then we’ll talk about the rest of the time here. It looks like you’re in a dorm room there at the University of Denver, so we’ll talk about that in a bit, but let’s talk about your path to Youngstown. How did you end up playing for the Phantoms and how was that — playing in the USHL [United States Hockey League] — [as] a place for you to develop as a young player?

Tory Pitner: Yeah, for sure. [It] started out like you said, I was born in Greenwich Connecticut and then I moved to Northern California when I was pretty young, and then played pretty much there in the LA Junior Kings growing up before COVID hit. So I was in that kind of system in the West Coast. Really great spot out there, with great coaches — Brett Beebe, Derek (inaudible, unable to find him on any backdated staff lists) — a bunch of great coaches I had out there.

And then Covid hit, and I made the decision to go and play prep school at South Kent, which is a school in South Kent, Connecticut, and basically that decision was a combination of being able to be on the ice every day, guaranteed ice, being able to have my academics and my athletics all in one place on the Hillside. I went to South Kent, played for [Jamie Russel (Director of Hockey Operations, Head Coach)] there. Really loved my experience, I thought it was great for me. That was the first time I was able to get on the ice every day and I think it was big for me, both for my development and maturity. Being able to figure out a schedule that works for me, because the schedule we had at South Kent was pretty similar to the one we had in Youngstown, and now the one I have here at D.U. So, great stepping stone for me into junior hockey.

And then, that year while I was at South Kent, I was drafted into the WHL [Western Hockey League] with the Edmonton Oil Kings and then I was also drafted into the USHL, after the year was done, with Youngstown. And kind of made the decision shortly after the draft there to head to Youngstown for a [variety] of reasons. Being able to play U.S. college hockey was something that was always a dream of mine. When talking to both organisations, both teams, I thought that the USHL and college in general was just the route for me to go. Looking at myself as a player I [felt] like, ‘I’m gonna need more time to develop,’ and I think the USHL is obviously an unbelievable league for development, being able to go in there and play against guys that are three, four years older than you when you when you’re 16 is something that I really looked at, and I embraced that challenge and I loved that opportunity.

I thought that the travel for us in Youngstown was a bit different than everyone else, but I thought that was good for me to learn how to navigate the roads. And, you know, going through junior hockey now into college hockey, there’s always going to be travel, and then when you get to the NHL level there’s going to be a lot of travel — granted, they travel a little differently — but I thought we did a pretty good job in Youngstown at that. So just, ultimately, the decision came down to; I wanted to play college hockey and I wanted to play in the USHL because I thought that was the best development league for me to get to college hockey.

So I was drafted by Youngstown after my U-15 year, and then decided to head back to South Kent for what would’ve been my U-16 year, but I ended up going and playing up — playing U-18 for the first [part] of the year. I wanted to go and I wanted to be over-ready to go to Youngstown, and so I thought that going back to South Kent, it was still a great situation for me. I went back and then went and played my affiliate games with Youngstown, and through my affiliate games talking with coach [Ryan] Ward and coach [Andy] Contois and coach [Brandon] Gotkin and the whole staff they have there, and based on how I felt in the games — I felt a lot more ready than I thought I was going to, so it didn’t really feel like a jump to me up to the USHL, it felt more like a transition. And that was something that — you know at the beginning of the year I didn’t wanna make the jump prematurely, but after going and playing those games I really found that it was a league that I could compete in and one that would be best for my development moving into college.

At Christmas I finished my semester of school and decided to transition to Youngstown and it was the best decision I could’ve made honestly — ended up finishing the year with them. I think I played around 40-something games with them at the end of the year. And it was great, being able to be in the locker room with guys like Chase Pietila (PIT), another USHL guy that just got drafted, and Chase was kind of a role model for me — I still talk to him to this day — but he was someone who really showed me the ropes, showed me the league.

And Youngstown in general; Andy Contois did a great job of teaching me how to defend at that next level which I feel like is something that, for me, moving on now looking back on my career is something I’m super grateful for. Even though it was only a year and a half ago, it’s something I feel like is now a staple in my game that, before coming to junior hockey, you never would’ve known certain nuances about defending that you do now. Andy’s a great coach, he’s worked a lot with me, I’ve worked a lot with him about certain things I need to develop and will continue to develop. We still talk pretty regularly, too.

Just being able to go up and play those games and be in a locker room with those guys — like Shane Lachance (EDM), being our captain, there isn’t enough to be said about Shane Lachance. He is probably one of the best captains I have and will ever have had. Seeing him as a leader and being around him and seeing his ability to connect with every guy in the room is something that I really tried to take from and emulate. That was really great for me. And ultimately being able to play with the group of guys we had my first year in Youngstown was great. [Being] in practice every day was the best thing for me, because you have [William] Will Whitelaw (CBJ), who was going a million miles an hour on you on a gap drill, that — you’re stuck in mud — so being able to learn those things and play against those guys… I think my first year there we had five NHL draft picks; I roomed with Jacob Fowler (MTL) so I got to see excellence right down the hall. That was really something that, for me, was a great experience, and kind of threw me into the fire a bit with junior hockey, and was the best thing for me and I loved every second of it.

And those guys, after winning the Clark Cup with them, it can’t be understated how much of a bond everyone had there. We were together — you know, everyone could’ve gone home after, but we all decided we wanted to stay together and just hang out, because we knew we were gonna miss each other as a group, and we still — our group chat’s still active. We still talk pretty regularly. I talk with a few of those guys that I got pretty close with pretty often. And you know, [them] taking me in as a 16-year-old and really showing me the ropes led me to being able to jump into my next year, my 17-year-old year, my draft year, and have an idea of how it’s going to look; because I saw Stratty [Andrew Strathmann (PIT)] and Whitey [William Whitelaw], and Brandon Svoboda (SJS), [Matthew] Perkins (VAN), Fowler, I saw them all doing NHL interviews last year, I saw how that whole process went. It kind of eased my nerves going into my next year, because I’d seen it, I’d known what it looks like.

Being in Youngstown, they do a great job of bringing in high calibre players to have that experience. Me and Luke Osburn (BUF) went along with that process together this year and I thought it was great for me and Ozzy to push each other all year, being able to play games. We had another good team, we had another great group of players, great group of guys. Obviously, it wasn’t the end result we wanted, we ran into a great Dubuque [Fighting Saints] team and we just weren’t able to get it done. But ultimately I thought that this year was a great learning experience for me, too. Having to take on a bigger role with the Phantoms was something that I really embraced, and loved the challenge of, and loved the opportunity to do. I’m super grateful for the coaching staff and coach Contois for giving me that increased opportunity. Being able to wear a letter for them is something that I was really proud of. They looked on me as a leader in the locker room to kind of show the other guys the way; I thought that was really great for me.

The [other] opportunities I had this year as well, like being able to captain the Hlinka Gretzky team was something that was a dream of mine. Whenever I found out about the tournament, I wanted to go, but I didn’t just want to go; I wanted to be a leader on the team and make an impact. And, you know, we were able to do that; win our first medal — since 2016 I think it was — with the United States. Hopefully the team this year can follow that up and bring home gold. Then, continuing into the season playing for USA again at the World Juniors — didn't get the result we wanted but that was another great experience. To be around the top guys in the USHL and play with other guys that have been drafted before, and talk with other guys, talk with the coaching staff… They brought some of the best coaches from the USHL along; to be able to pick their brain every day, we have guys from that coaching staff, like Mike Leone, he’s now coaching in the AHL and I got to be on the ice with Leo every day for two weeks, which was something that I thought was great for me. Being able to be around those guys, too, who are now going to step into college and be great college players before going on to having great pro careers.

So those opportunities coming back in my second year was something that was really great for me. And I was super fortunate to have that, and then getting the call to come into Denver this year, and now being able to take all that experience and transition it into college. In our first [skates (?)] here, I feel pretty confident, so that’s something that definitely prepared me and I’m really grateful for.

A bit of a long winded answer, but yeah.

PA: That’s awesome. I do have a couple of questions for you though, and a couple of observations that I always… Everybody who’s involved with hockey over the years talks about the small world and you mentioned Jamie Russel there. Of course, Jamie Russel is a former coach at Michigan Tech. and Chase Pietila is from the — I mean, I don’t know how many Pietilas have played at Northern Michigan and Michigan Tech. of the the years. There's a bunch of them.

TP: So many. And Adam is on our team again, he’s [Chase’s] cousin.

PA: But what a whirlwind for you, and I know the Youngstown organisation is extremely proud of you, a 2-time All-Academic kid, too. And I know, Tory, as you were making your — one of the things you sort of left out there was the recruiting process, and what you were juggling there, and how that went along for you. We’ll get to Denver and how you ended up deciding to go play for the Pioneers here in a sec, but I want to talk about this past year going back to the Clark Cup Championship season.

During your minus-1 draft year you end up playing for Youngstown, and what a great time to jump on board with them and contributing to a Clark Cup Championship, the first one in the organisation. That’s pretty cool, but then you touched on the Hlinka Gretzky invite and the World Junior-A Challenge invite, and then you get to go to the NHL draft, get selected by the Colorado Avalanche; and then you get an invite to the USA Hockey World Junior Summer Showcase. And you’re oh, by the way, starting summer school at DU with workouts and [getting to know] all your teammates. How are you able to juggle everything and keep a clear head with all this stuff, Tory? For an eighteen-year-old kid, that sounds like a lot of things to consider.

TP: Yeah, yeah no, it’s definitely a lot. But like I said to you before we hopped on the call: I’d rather be busy than bored. So for me, I always want to push myself. Instead of just sitting in bed and watching Youtube or something, that’ll be the time I do my homework from my summer school courses and everything like that. Being here, I really love the schedule because we’re up early, we’re working out early, and then we go to class and then we get to come back, we get to skate with all the pro guys out here. And then you come back and you do homework and you get to do it all again the next day. You’re really fully immersed in the whole culture.

And I’d really say, just, how I’m handling it is; it’s the preparation I had before, from South Kent, getting to see what that model would look like — having school and hockey in the same place. And then being in Youngstown and travelling as much as we did; some of our bus trips, like when we went to Fargo for the Clark Cup, that was right in the middle of finals season, too. We’re busing 23 hours, we’re busing out to Fargo to play the [Fargo] Force.

You learn to prioritise different things. You learn how to manage your schedule pretty well. You know, it does suck. You can’t call your buddies as much. You can’t text, Instagram — none of that stuff really comes into play too much anymore just because you’re so busy. I really embrace it. And I think that it’s something — if I wasn’t busy I’d probably be a little more upset, if that makes sense. Like, I’d rather have this schedule where I’m constantly going and, you know, I think it’s pushing me. It’s a bit of [overload] training here in the summer, just with how much we’re actually doing, how much of a course load, how much lifts we have. Skating with the pro guys, too. Being out here at D.U., we have a great setup where a lot of the pro guys come back and skate. Being drafted to Colorado is great because you see Colorado guys coming into the locker room, you get to meet them, you get to meet guys in the NHL club and you get to skate with some of them sometimes. That’s really great for me in my development going into my freshman year here and ultimately to making the Avs.

But like you said, it's been a long summer, but it’s one I’m super grateful for, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

PA: Before we talk [about the draft], I do want to talk about your decision to go to Denver and play for the Pioneers, and the commitment process. How did the process — how did you decide that going to Denver was the best place for your development as a player and as a student?

TP: Right before the USHL Fall Classic, I actually started talking to a bunch of teams. I was previously committed (to UMass Amherst), but decided to decommit for reasons — just coaching change reasons, everything like that. So, I decided to decommit and the fit really wasn’t there anymore. Decommit, and then open up my recruiting process before the USHL Fall Classic, then go to the Fall Classic. And honestly don’t really focus on it too much. Just try and play my best hockey for my team, because that was my goal, that’s what I’m there for. It can’t be a distraction. But after the Fall classic I had a little bit of time off and I talked to a couple of schools, had a couple of Zoom calls. Right when I talked to D.C. [coach David Carle] and the Pioneers, I knew that it was probably the place I was going to end up.

Being a West Coast kid growing up there, they were the furthest West team before A.S.U. [Arizona State University] became a college hockey program. So growing up, you go to tournaments in Colorado, you always want to go to the D.U. games. You grow up like — I watched Will Butcher play (2013-17), and Will Butcher’s in the locker room now (25/07/2023 - Butcher has signed with Barys Astana, a KHL team; link, archive link). That’s so cool for me, and hearing those guys talk and what they see is the plan for me, what I see is the plan for myself, and both of those kind of aligning; it really just made the perfect sense. And obviously they have an unbelievable track record of developing NHL defensemen here at Denver, like if you walk through our locker rooms you look at the walls, NHL players are on the walls. You look at them and go, ‘they’re in the same shoes. I am there doing the same workouts. They were doing the same skate. They were doing the same schedule.’ And that really gives you confidence to keep working hard because you know that someone’s been through your path before, and if you keep working and you keep staying your path… and — not keep your head down — but if you just put your head down and work hard, then you’ll be able to achieve what you want to achieve.

After talking to them and hearing those things from the coaching staff — Ferg does a great job with the [defensemen] — Dallas Ferguson. Travis MacMillan does a great job recruiting, great job with the boards. All the staff here, there’s — I could list them all, but it really doesn’t do justice how much of a fit it really felt like, talking to them on the phone.

Once I really had that conversation, I felt that it was the best thing for me and kind of a no-brainer decision when you pull in where I grew up, how much success they had… And so I made that decision shortly thereafter, and I’ve been thrilled with it ever since. Kept in touch with them pretty much all year. Had a great open line of communication development-wise and just personnel-wise, just checking in and seeing how I’m doing as a person off the ice, how I’m handling that schedule that we have in Youngstown, just being that [travelled]. They were great with me, and now that I'm here, I couldn't be happier. All the guys here on the team are great guys and I’m really excited to be here and can’t wait to get started.

PA: You’re a two-time USHL All-Academic pick in your two seasons with Youngstown. Tory, have you thought about what you’re going to take for classes and what are you going to major in?

TP: Yeah, we just actually had that conversation with our academic advisor last week, so I’m kind of torn right now, but I’m leaning towards psychology. So what I’m going to do is my first quarter, I’ll take Intro to Psych and Intro to Business and Into To a bunch of those courses, because no matter what, they're all going to count for common core courses, so I kind of get to feel it out and see which one I’m going to take. Right now I’m probably leaning towards majoring in psychology. I’ll make that decision, we’ll all declare officially after our freshman year, so I have the year to figure it out.

But I’m really excited. I have a good course load, a lot of good challenging courses, a lot of fun courses, too, interesting ones. So it’ll make it easy when you're interested in the subject to be able to go in and learn and go to class. And it’s nice to be in an actual classroom again after two years of online school with the Phantoms. It’s something that you don’t really think about, but it definitely helps. And it’s nice for me as a kid that always wants to learn. I think that’s my mentality on and off the ice. It's just always wanting to learn, always wanting to get better. So I’m really excited for it. I think that summer school so far has gone well — knock on wood — grades are coming out pretty soon, but I feel pretty confident about it. So yeah, I’m just looking forward to it. And I think it’ll be a great experience off the ice in the classroom and both on the ice.

PA: Let’s wrap it up with your draft day experience in Vegas, Tory. Of course, you’ve alluded to it already; you were picked in the 6th round by the Avalanche and [inaudible]. That’s pretty cool. What were your thoughts, and tell us about the excitement that you experienced there in Vegas a couple of weeks ago?

TP: It was a long day, I’ll give you that one. Got there with my family. We actually — we had a test on Thursday, so I took my test and I flew out Thursday night into Vegas and the draft obviously started Friday. And going into it, you kind of have an idea of a few teams that you thought could pick you, but you don’t really know where with how the draft’s going to shake out. You hear some things, but they don’t really hold true just because everything is crazy. You saw the draft. It went nuts after that third pick, pretty much everything changed. Just going in there, no expectations, just be grateful for the opportunity you have to be there and being able to be there with my family and my friends and some coaches, just people I hold close to my heart, was something that was super cool for me.

Busy week with everything we had, like dinners, breakfasts, meetings; everything like that with teams or with whoever — with your advisor, with your family. But it was ultimately a good time, you get to throw on a suit, get to go to the draft. The Sphere was obviously unbelievable; I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that in my life. I was probably cranking my neck to see who the next pick was at the top of the board there. It was a pretty cool experience being able to sit around all those great prospects. And then, you know, I talked to Colorado quite a bit throughout the year, stayed in contact with them, and so I felt that they were one of the teams that I could have gone to, and so every time they were picking I was on the edge of my seat a bit.

And then finally you hear your name called after a long day, it was something that — a lot of relief, and just joy, gratitude. It was an unbelievable feeling. Really grateful having the Youngstown guys there. I wasn’t able to go and say ‘hi’ just because of how busy it was, which I was frustrated about, but it was good to see people that you hadn’t seen in a little bit and really share that experience with everyone that helped get you there, because that’s what it’s all about. I wouldn’t be here without all the people in my corner, all the people that have coached me going up, my mom; like everything, they’ve all been there for me in the past. I wouldn’t be there without them and being able to be there and celebrate that and going to the Avalanche is something that is super special for me, especially being here in Denver growing up.

They have an unbelievable D-core right now, and so you know that, going into it, they have a high expectation. And then going to Dev Camp and meeting the staff, you understand what that high expectation is. You just go and you work your hardest and you try and improve your game and adapt it to whatever they need so one day you’ll be able to play at the NHL level. And being here at D.U., I said it before, but having them right down the road and having some of their guys come back and skate and lift here and train here is something that’s super cool for me to get to see. Then obviously D.U. had Sean Behrens last year, who’s going to the Avs now, so getting to hang out with all the D.U. guys that were at Avs Dev Camp was great for me, especially all the defensemen.

It was really a perfect situation because even though we had summer school we were still able to go, and we wouldn’t have been able to go to dev camp if it wasn’t in Colorado, so that was awesome for me. I couldn’t be more happy. I’m really grateful for the organisation for taking a chance on me. And now it’s my opportunity, and pretty much all I have to do right now is go and prove them right. Prove to them that they got a steal and just make sure that they made the right decision, and go out there and work as hard as I can. [I’m] happy that they feel — they like me as a prospect, and I really enjoy [being] in an organisation like that. Obviously they have a great track [record] for success and I hope to get out to a few games this year and watch and cheer them on.

PA: Alright Tory, thanks very much for joining us on your busy schedule. Looking forward to seeing your career progress. You still got a lot of stuff to do this summer with the World Junior Showcase in Plymouth. I was thinking about Zeev Buium being there, William Whitelaw, Jake Fisher, all guys that you…

TP: All guys I know, yeah.

PA: And then the rest of the way with the Pioneers this winter with your schedule, and then after that. So best of luck and thanks a lot for joining us, and enjoy the rest of your summer, okay?

TP: Thank you. I appreciate that. Alright, bye.

#truly SO interesting. such a fascinating draft pick #a fit for the avs if the people in my tags for that one post are correct?#Tory Pitner #puck!script #colorado avalanche #puckscouting

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seconddoubt · 10 months ago

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tagged by @sonic-fizz to list my 10 favourite albums, thank you so much! this is super difficult, i'm going completely by sentimental value, also this is NOT a definitive list, the answer would look different tomorrow, the culling process was brutal, there are so many i want on here!!

Black Celebration, Depeche Mode

The Bargain Store, Dolly Parton

The Hurting, Tears for Fears

Fetch the Bolt Cutters, Fiona Apple

Bookends, Simon and Garfunkel

Hagnesta Hill, kent

From the Choirgirl Hotel, Tori Amos

Tantamount to Treason, Vol. 1, Michael Nesmith and the Second National Band

Speaking in Tongues, Talking Heads

No Need to Argue, The Cranberries

tagging @boys-say-go @imeminemp3 @sgt-celestial @kuryakincore @lesbian-i-ching AND anyone who sees this and wants to to it!!!

#tagged

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antigerrymanderingspiderman · 1 year ago

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chapter six, part two of solitaire Kent asks tori if she thinks marriage is a central concern of pride and prejudice, and i think her answer reflects her view of romance

she says, “it’s a concern. not the concern” and then when talking about elizabeth, “i think she does [care about marriage]. but it doesn’t really occur to her when she’s with darcy. like, she doesn’t connect the two together. darcy and marriage. they’re two separate problems.”

tori thinks about romance during the book (not often is a super positive or wanting way) but she thinks of if as a concern of a teenager, and i don’t at all agree with what she says about pride and prejudice in this quote, and while that might just be me, i think her opinion is because that’s how she sees romance.

also like michael. romance could be considered “a concern” of solitaire (even though it i seriously not about romance), but it’s not tori’s concern, it’s not a central concern. and she thinks about romance at some points, but when she’s with michael she’s not thinking about romance, she doesn’t really, or doesn’t often, connect the two together.

her view of romance as (in my opinion with substantial evidence from the book) an aro spec person is shown in this conversation

i just think this conversation, and all the conversations about pride and prejudice in this book, are deeper than surface level and reflect the character and there what they are experiencing

#alice oseman #solitaire alice oseman #tori spring #pride and prejudice #aro spec

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years ago

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I’m listening to Andy Zaltzman’s interview on the WTF podcast, recorded in January 2021. I find Marc Maron incredibly annoying, for some reasons that are objectively justified and some that probably aren’t. I’ve sat through him twice before – once for John Oliver and once for Stewart Lee. Both times, Marc annoyed me hugely, but it was worth it to hear the guest.

He’s annoyed me in Andy Zaltzman’s podcast too. I’m a bit amazed at the number of new and inventive ways he finds to pronounce the word “Edinburgh”, managing to end it with the word “bro” a lot. “Edin-bro.” That’s one of my less objectively justified reasons to dislike him, probably, but it is pretty bad to not know how to say that properly if you’re such a significant comedian.

I’d say my least justified one is when he said to Andy, “So you grew up in London?” And I said, “No, come on, he grew up in Tumbridge Wells in Kent, a place he has described as ‘So conservative you were considered a bit of a leftie if you only voted Tory once in each election.’ Come on, Marc. How could you be so stupid as to think Andy Zaltzman grew up in London?” I then had to stop, take a step back, and remind myself that it is not at all reasonable to expect an American comedian to know where Andy Zaltzman grew up. Most British comedians do not know where Andy Zaltzman grew up. The vast majority of people in the world do not know where Andy Zaltzman grew up, it’s fine.

So I tried to check my anti-Marc Maron bias a bit, and once I did that, I realized… actually, you know what? Weirdly, Marc Maron might be the best person in the world to interview Andy Zaltzman. Andy Zaltzman tends to get evasive, to uncomfortably steer away from certain topics and it’s hard to tell when it’s genuine discomfort (which I don’t think an interviewer should press him on, I’m listening to this because I want to know where the most creative comedy I’ve ever heard comes from, but I don’t need to hear about anything he actively doesn’t want to talk about) versus just his social awkwardness making him sound vaguely uncomfortable about every topic. When I hear most people interact with Andy Zaltzman, they sort of know this, and if they get near most topics you can hear them expect to get the vaguely ironic or surreal reply. In this case, Marc Maron’s drawback as an interview who knows fuck all about his interviewee works in his favour. He asks Andy Zaltzman questions and expects to get an answer the way you would from a normal person, and when he doesn’t, he just repeats it. It’s kind of cool.

Marc Maron and Andy Zaltzman are wildly different comedians in just about every way, but they do have one weirdly specific thing in common, which is a… complicated relationship with The Daily Show. That highlights how different they are – Marc Maron spent years very publicly being a huge asshole about Jon Stewart, due to jealousy of Stewart’s success. And then sort of offered to apologize but only if he can do it for publicity on his podcast – seriously, fuck that guy (I’d say this is one of my more justified reasons to dislike Marc Maron). While Andy Zaltzman spent the first few years on The Bugle with a running joke where after John Oliver would tell one of his showbiz anecdotes about whatever celebrity he’d met through his Daily Show job that week, Andy would add that he had quite a good [insert different type of lunch meat each time] sandwich that week so they’ve all got stuff going on. He kept that up for so long that when I was relatively early in my Bugle listening, I made a bunch of posts on here saying I can’t figure out what’s going on with Andy Zaltzman, he seems to genuinely be totally unbothered by the commercial success discrepancy. When I got a hundred or so episodes into I declared that I’d figured out the answer, and it’s that Andy Zaltzman is just totally unimpressed by anything in the world that isn’t a bad pun or a cricket stat. He truly, deep down, does not want to meet Hugh Jackman. Episode 90 was the one in which he absolutely roasted John Oliver for committing the embarrassing transgression of winning an Emmy, and it didn’t sound like jealousy, it sounded like he understood awards ceremonies to be the stupidest thing in the world.

Cracks in that did start to show eventually, mainly when Johnny Showbiz’s Daily Show career became less about meeting Hugh Jackman and more about propelling him to get his own TV show and leave the rest of his career behind. But they were only ever the tiniest of cracks. He did his Comedian’s Comedian episode in 2014, just as this was starting to happen, and Stuart Goldsmith had to push him pretty hard, from a few different angles, to get the words “Yes, maybe at certain times and in some ways I have been a bit jealous” out of him, which felt like a massively out-of-character thing to say. And once he actually left, there may have been a short while of just the tiniest traces of bitterness in the way he used the once-purely-affectionate nickname Johnny Showbiz, and one time he took a moment out of one Bugle episode to say congratulations are owed to his former colleague on winning two Emmys in one night “Presumably for Most Elongated Departure From a Podcast and Least Enthusiasm For Physical Contact on a Football Pitch,” and he might have once shouted “Fuck you Percy Primetime, everyone in this room has heard of me!” upon finding three members of his stand-up audience who hadn’t heard of John Oliver. You know, little cracks. There was that one time when a reviewer called him a “left-behind sidekick" and he had what was, by his normally unflappable standards, a small breakdown, referencing that review with increasing frustration for several weeks’ worth of episodes, and recording an interview with himself about how he doesn’t want to be famous anyway and he loves writing in his shed.

So really, when you look at all that, Marc Maron might be the right guy to interview Andy Zaltzman. Both had reason to be bitter toward The Daily Show, one expressed this loudly and publicly for ages, while the other made like one slightly passive-aggressive comment on a podcast an average of every 1.5 years. One has built his comedy brand on relentlessly oversharing every single emotion he has for money, another does almost entirely political and sometimes vaguely surreal comedy, and sounds notably uncomfortable if he’d expected to get personal about anything. This is all relevant context for this exchange:

Andy Zaltzman: [John Oliver and I] met doing the live stand-up circuit, and he did little sketches in my first Edinburgh show, I did some stuff in his first Edinburgh show the following year, in 2002. We toured on the student union circuit – in my generation of British comedians there was quite a thriving student union circuit where you could go and experiment, and it didn’t matter so much if you…

Marc Maron: But that was better than clubs, right?

Andy Zaltzman: It was better than clubs, partly because, generally you were booked in to do a whole tour, so it wasn’t like you had to succeed at every gig to get called back. So we got to know each other pretty well then, we did some radio series together, then when John got the Daily Show job and left me doing an Edinburgh show alone instead of a two-hander in front of about twenty-five people a night as he went to the biggest comedy show in the world… um…

Marc Maron: And how did that go for you? How did you take that?

Andy Zaltzman: Well, I’ll be honest, it was a bit tricky at the time. [Marc Maron cackles in the background, like a man who was not expecting to be able to get a guest to talk shit about Jon Stewart-era Daily Show on this day, and is pleased it’s gone in this direction] It was about a month before Edinburgh started, and so… it would be an exaggeration to say I had to rewrite the show, because we hadn’t entirely got round to writing it at that point…

Marc Maron [audibly sensing blood in the water]: That must have been a horrible conversation.

Andy Zaltzman: Well, not really, because it was – you know – clearly a pretty big opportunity, so…

Marc Maron: No, yeah, I know. But still, you had to suck it up.

Andy Zaltzman: Uh, I guess so. And we’d also had two BBC radio series canceled round about the same time, and I found out my wife was pregnant, so it was a month of considerable upheaval… uh, for me.

Marc Maron sounded like he was having so much fun in that exchange. In John Oliver’s episode, he pushed John Oliver to talk shit about Jon Stewart and John Oliver refused to do it, straight-up shut down that line of questioning and said he knows how Marc feels about Jon but he doesn’t have a single bad word to say about Jon Stewart. Marc kept trying for a bit in a way that made things incredibly, painfully awkward, and he was clearly disappointed when he couldn’t get that, you could see he’d been looking forward to having on the Daily Show guy so he could find an outlet for his grudge against Jon Stewart. There’s such a contrast to how he sounds at this point in Andy Zaltzman’s interview, so excited to get the tiniest bit of commiseration about the shared experience of getting left behind by The Daily Show. To the point where weirdly, I may have started to sympathize with Marc Maron a tiny bit. And you can tell that Andy Zaltzman has no idea he’s been put in the middle of any of this, and is just trying to stumble through answers to the questions.

Although he may have had some idea, because he’s mentioned at other times that he had to rewrite stuff for their 2006 joint Edinburgh show once it became a solo show instead, which makes me think by saying they hadn’t written it before John left, he was downplaying how much effect that event had to avoid giving more bait to a shark that sensed blood in the water.

They then discuss whether Andy Zaltzman should do a show about having a baby, or a breakup show, the way some people win awards for doing these days, but the drawback is that he married young and it’s worked out ever since. I found that conversation hilarious, just because it’s funny to imagine Andy Zaltzman doing a show like that. It would be amusing if he did just one sometime, and didn’t explain it. An entire show about parenthood with absolutely nothing surreal, just true stories about the wacky adventures of raising teenagers, and then go right back to his usual stuff.

They also discuss Judaism, and I suppose that’s another thing they sort of have in common, both being Jewish. Again I find myself sympathizing with Marc Maron a bit, because you can hear that he’s so interested in learning what it’s like to be Jewish in Britain, and Andy Zaltzman keeps disappointing him. Marc Maron would have more luck getting John Oliver to talk shit about Jon Stewart than getting Andy Zaltzman to give a detailed an accurate account of Jewish communities in Britain. Andy Zaltzman, whose most personal stand-up material is probably the stuff about how much loves bacon and doesn’t even know when the Jewish holidays are despite the religion into which he was born.

Marc Maron then asks what the difference is between Oxford and Cambridge, after Andy mentions that he went to the former and John Oliver went to the latter. Which I thought was quite a funny question, even if unintentionally so. Weirdly, I am warming to Marc Maron more and more.

He asks Andy in about eight different ways for some basic biographical details about how Andy Zaltzman got into comedy during/just after his days at Oxford, and Andy Zaltzman is relentlessly more interested in explaining how ancient Greek plays can be applied to modern stand-up, and at this point the interview becomes a comedy of wildly mismatched personalities. He eventually gets the story out of Andy that he did one comedy gig that went very badly and then spent a year sub-editing articles, before getting back on the comedy circuit.

Marc Maron: And who was around? Who were the guys that you started with, that are still around?

Me: Oh! I can answer that one, actually, Marc. Have you ever heard of a drink called chocolate milk?

Andy Zaltzman: Well, John was starting round about the same time. Um, Russell Howard was starting ‘round then. Jimmy Carr, people who’d been very successful around then. Daniel Kitson was sort of the… the big… you know, the most successful comedian of my generation… creatively, him, he was, I think, you know, everyone of my generation, on the circuit, sort of looked up to. He was, you know, started doing stuff…

Marc Maron: Yeah, yeah, I heard about Kitson for years, and I think I saw, I saw one big show of his in London. I know he does – you know, he’s a, uh, unique person. Uh, doesn’t do the podcast, or talk, or, you know, function, necessarily, in a sociable way… but I’ve met him a few times, and I know that he’s revered.

Me: Aaaannnd there goes my sympathizing with Marc Maron. It was building up for a bit, gone now. Go fuck yourself, Maron.

I transcribed Andy’s answer word for word, including the stuttering and filler words, to try to get across just how much it sounds like having this conversation is akin to water torture for him. And how getting a straight answer out of him seems a bit like pulling teeth for Marc Maron. These two could have a sitocm together based on comically contrasting personalities, the oversharing American and the reserved Brit.

Anyway, that’s about halfway through the interview, at which point I decided to stop and write this down. They covered a bunch of other stuff too, about Andy Zaltzman’s familial, educational, and comedy backgrounds. Marc Maron got more out of him than most people do, just by not seeming bothered by the discomfort he created, which may be a good thing in some cases and a bad thing in other cases. Marc Maron talked a lot of shit about the Edinburgh Fringe Festvial, and Andy Zaltzman defended it.

This has gotten pretty long so I think I’ll post it now, even though there are forty-ish minutes left. I am quite enjoying this. Will get into the 2022 Bugle after this, and then presumably go back to having stuff to say about the actual comedy, I’ll admit that this entire post, and this entire interview, are pretty much only about comedian gossip. But it happens to be the exact side of comedian gossip I’m interested in. Marc Maron is clearly the man to go to if you want some gossip.

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ao3feed-narlie · 1 year ago

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You Are The Only Exception

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/DT5rbXA by jtlfloof As I sit on my bed, in my secluded, sectioned-off dungeon in the family house, I hear a faint knock on the front door as well as a few more, louder knocks. Then I hear my brother, Charles, or Charlie as he prefers, run down the stairs in a record-like speed as if he is about to see the likes of a Hemsworth brother outside our house, in Kent of all places. I’m not quite sure why he’s rushing to the door so fast. Soon, I find out my answer as he opens the door. When he does, I hear a boys voice downstairs. A boy's voice that I recognise. At first, I'm not entirely sure I know why I know that voice, but then it hits me. Nicholas Nelson. Nicholas Luke Nelson is currently in my house, on a Saturday, visiting my brother of all people. ------------------------------ or; a 5+1 where it's Tori's perspective as Nick and Charlie's relationship grows Words: 18255, Chapters: 6/6, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV), Solitaire - Alice Oseman Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Victoria "Tori" Spring, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Oliver "Olly" Spring, Rebecca "Becky" Allen, Jane Spring, Julio Spring, Tao Xu, Elle Argent, Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Michael Holden (Solitaire) Relationships: Charles "Charlie" Spring & Victoria "Tori" Spring, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Michael Holden/Victoria "Tori" Spring Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Mental Health Issues, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Fluff, No Smut, Boys In Love, Not Beta Read, POV First Person, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Swearing, Suicide Attempt read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/DT5rbXA

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #heartstopper #narlie #nick x charlie #nick nelson #charlie spring #narlie fanfic

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fanficwritersworld · 3 years ago

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I Was Made For Loving You

Summary: After a run in with Superman you find your soulmate

Paring: Jordan Kent x Empath!Witch!Reader

Requested: No

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Mentions of death, revenge, intense emotions and kiddnapping

Masterlist|Prompt List

A/N: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO MY OTHER JORDAN KENT X WITCH READER FICS

After Superman took over the Earth alongside his mysterious brother, you fled to a new one. Your father, Cisco Ramon temporarily opened a breach to Earth-Prime, allowing you to escape. You fled to Smallville, a place your father told you so much about.

It was easy to fake your identity, seeing as the Cisco Ramon of this world never married your witch mother, whom was dead for the past decade. You went by the alias ‘(Y/N) Saunders’ after Kendra Saunders who trained you to be like your father, a hero.

When you arrived at Earth-Prime, your soulmate mark appeared. It was the house of El crest on your wrist with the words ‘El Mayarah’.

So you’ve spent the last three months trying to decipher the tattoo and saying.

“(Y/N)! You going to the football game in Metropolis this weekend?” Jon Kent, a close friend of yours asked, walking alongside you. You both hit it off when you first started at Smallville High, his twin brother Jordan included.

You nodded at his question, your bags already packed back at the warehouse you hid and converted on the outskirts of town. You must have drifted out of reality because the next thing you know, you’re on the floor rubbing your backside.

“Sorry! (Y/N), I am so sorry!” Jordan’s voice panicked, trying to pick up your books. You quickly took notice and helped him, forgetting about your soulmate mark. “Why do you have Superman’s logo on your wrist?” Jordan asked, highly confused.

You stood up from the floor, dusting yourself off. “Dunno. When I find my soulmate I’ll let you know” You sighed, grabbing your spellbook from the floor. “I’ll see you both at the game. I gotta go” You changed the subject before running out of the school.

The moment you left the town to go back to your home, the overwhelming feeling of pain, confusion and anger took over. You fell onto the road, your bag dropping beside you. One thing you hated about being an Empath Witch, the negativity of others.

But this was different. It was like two complete strangers fighting over something, something you’ve only experienced once in your life. “So you’re the little witch? I’ve heard stories about you Ms. Ramon. Some said you were a low-grade Supergirl back on our planet” A man taunted you, walking closer as you tried to find a power dampener in your bag.

The man yanked it out of your hands, throwing it to the side. You looked up to see a man in an oversized metal suit. “Let me guess, you’re the guy who tried to kill Superman? Captain Irons?” You guessed, recognizing his emotional aura.

No answer.

“Remember me? The little girl you left motherless when you decided that all powered beings were evil” You retorted, your eyes glowing bright (F/C). Irons readied his hammer, it’s mere presence taunting you.

“You shall pay for Mariposa Delfaine’s death” You swore, snapping your wrist to one side. Irons. A wave of concerned emotions overtook your senses, making you turn. Looking at you with wide eyes, Superman landed to see the scene in front of him. “How?” He asked, coming closer to you.

You felt his emotions increase, causing you to clutch your head in your hands. “Sweet Jesus!” You groaned, falling to your knees. “This feels like the time I accidently read Clark Kent’s emotions” You compared, breathing heavily. “What can I do to help?” Superman asked.

You looked at him in shock.

“What can I do to help?” Clark asked you, seeing you limp towards football practice. “Excuse me?” You asked him. He looked down to your clearly broken leg, how you hadn't screamed with every step was beyond him. “Your leg (Y/N), it looks broken” He sighed.

Of course it was broken, you jumped from a thirteen storey window last night after you stole some information on Kryptonese. “I’m fine Mr. Kent” You answered, praying he wouldn make contact with you. You wouldn’t be safe feeling his emotions after his mother’s death. “(Y/N), you need medical attention. If you're not comfortable with Nurse Kelly, I know some basic first aid” Clark offered.

You shuddered at the thought of Nurse Kelly giving you first aid, that girl is kinda weird and her emotions match. You reluctantly sat down on the bleachers, praying he wouldn’t make contact. Clark kneeled down on the concrete, pressing his fingers gently into our leg. *dolor cesset humano tactui* you chanted in your head.

However when Clakr touched your skin, you bit the urge to scream. So much pain, loss… grief and regret. For a man that looked like he had everything figured out, his emotions were like a normal human only ten times more intense.

“Clark? You’re Kal-El?” You asked in a hushed tone. It wasn’t really a question for him but yourself. He was shocked, his emotions shifting rapidly causing you more pain. “My bag…. I need my bag.” You moaned once more, the emotions getting stronger. Clark reached for your bag, bringin it to you. “There’s an old book, open it to the page titled ‘Aliena Adfectus Donec Cantus’ and I need the first spell” you instructed.

Clark read out the spell, coping his words with better punctuation. Soon enough the pain ceases, allowing you to stand without an ache. You turned to Clark smiling kindly. “You know what El Mayarah means by any chance?”

…

You sat outside the Kent Farm, apparently Irons trapped Clark and Lois along with the boys tried to save him. You waited patiently for Clark’s red truck to drive into the farm, Jon and Jordan safe and sound.

“(Y/N)!?” Jordan’s voice yelled, looking up from your spellbook. His hair was a mess. He had soot and scraped cheeks as he smiled at your presence. His clothes were filthy but that didn’t stop the rush of excitement you felt in your core. “Jordan!” You screamed, running into his arms. You felt a weird tingle on your wrist but that didn’t matter. He was okay. “I was so worried when your Dad told me what happened” You muttered into his chest.

You both parted from the hug before you hugged Jon as well, scolding him for driving and ruining his Dad’s truck. “It’s weird having someone else know about Dad’s other life” Jon commented as you bandaged their wounds. “Well now you guys know how I can tell how you’re feeling now. Thank Jesus that it isn’t as intense as your Dad’s” You smiled, putting away the medical supplies.

Clark had returned, hugging his sons the moment he walked in the door. You felt the love seep into the room like a tsunami, you felt lightheaded in a goodway. “You okay (Y/N)?” Lois asked you, seeing you sway side to side.

“Empathy takes effect on my body. Positive emotions are like helium gas wehreelse negative ones are like touture. Kryptonians emotions affect me ten times more to a normal human” You slurred before Lois guided you to the couch. “Motus temporaliter coniunctus Clark Kent” you chanted lazily before the effects of Clark’s emotions wore off.

“I need to make a totem for your emotions. Is he always this happy go lucky and sappy?” You asked Lois, pointing to her husband. “Living embodiment of a golden retriever” Lois answered. You stood up, grabbing your bag. “I better be going before I walk into a trash pile” You huffed, walking to the door.

“What does El Mayarah mean? I can't find a meaning anywhere!?” You asked Clark, the door half opened. “Stronger Together, it’s what the House of El stands for” Lois answered for him. “How did you know that?” Clark asked his wife. “Kara”

…

Rain poured outside the warehouse you bought. You say bought but really you just spelled the owner into giving it to you for free. Your dog, Krypto snuggled up against you as you stared at your wrist.

‘El Mayarah’

‘Jordan Kent’

You smiled to yourself, feeling at peace. Maybe being on this Earth wasn’t so bad.

“So you’re my nephew’s soulmate?” a man’s voice echoed. You looked around, confused to why Krypto wasn’t responding. His veins glowed green against his white fur.

“Who’s there!?” You growled, eyes glowing.

“Your new leader”

Who wants a part two?

Requests Are Always Open

#jordan kent #spotify #clark kent #lois lane #superman and lois #jordan kent x witch reader #jonathan kent #jordan kent x reader #jordan kent imagines #arrowverse #Spotify

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mariacallous · 2 years ago

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Actions have consequences. Britain’s political elite has for a long time decided to pander to – or deliberately stoke – bigotry against migrants and refugees. This is a joint enterprise with rightwing media outlets that have sought to portray some of the world’s most vulnerable people as a marauding mob, undeserving drains on resources and incompatible with British culture. It has reaped rich political dividends: justified public anger at a lack of affordable housing and secure work, declining living standards and austerity has been redirected, crudely, at the caricatured foreigner. To achieve this aim, it has been necessary to strip migrants and refugees of their humanity: after all, most human beings do not tolerate harm being committed against those we see as “people like us”.

This brings us to the Manston migrant processing centre, in Kent, and the petrol bombs that were lobbed on Sunday at a Dover Border Force immigration centre. Most people would find the conditions at Manston intolerable if it were housing cats and dogs, let alone people. Around 4,000 people seeking asylum – way more than double the official maximum capacity – sleep on blankets on floors. It is supposed to be a short-term holding facility, where checks are conducted before the people there are moved on to detention centres or accommodation. But these human beings are being effectively imprisoned for up to four weeks. In these bleak overcrowded conditions, there has been an outbreak of diphtheria, while scabies is said to run rampant.

You may ask yourselves whether this can possibly be legal. The answer is no, it isn’t. The home secretary, Suella Braverman, stands accused of ignoring advice that it is against the law to detain asylum seekers for so long in these abhorrent conditions. (The Home Office claims Braverman “has taken urgent decisions to alleviate issues at Manston and source alternative accommodation”.) She accordingly faces being taken to court by refugee charities.

That this pantomime rightwinger is farcically unsuitable to hold one of the great offices of state should now be clear to all but those afflicted with ultra-partisan bad faith. We now know that she sent official documents six times to her personal emails – a wanton violation of the ministerial code. Civil servants tell me they would be sacked for such egregious behaviour, but different standards apply to our senior politicians. Rishi Sunak put her there for two reasons: first, because her endorsement helped keep Boris Johnson from standing for party leader again; and second, because a government intent on renewed unpopular austerity measures will seek to deflect public anger by pressing a big red button labelled “culture war”.

But however much justified condemnation Braverman receives for her email misconduct, it is her treatment of human beings that deserves most ire.

Indeed, Sir Roger Gale, the Tory MP who represents the constituency in which Manston is situated, has condemned the government’s policy. He has suggested that a deliberate decision had been taken not to book space in local hotels, leading to disastrous overcrowding and inhumane conditions. (A Home Office spokesperson later told the BBC: “Claims advice was deliberately ignored are completely baseless.”)A local refugee campaigner, Bridget Chapman, puts to me that the authorities learned cynical lessons from another holding centre, the Napier barracks in Folkestone, where campaigners and journalists were able to talk to asylum seekers and learn about the conditions there. I myself visited: people who had fled violence and persecution in countries such as Iran and Afghanistan were living in conditions that violated basic sanitary and hygiene requirements. But such access has been largely denied in Manston, where conditions are accordingly even worse.

Manston is shrouded in other myths, too. “Lots of establishment media outlets are pushing the idea that everyone is from Albania and largely adult men who are economic migrants,” says another local refugee campaigner, Benny Hunter. “I wouldn’t want to pander to the idea that men aren’t vulnerable or [that] Albanians aren’t potentially refugees, but when we went, we saw families with young children, who shouted over the fence that they were from Syria, Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq – places with war, conflict and despotism.”

While the circumstances behind the Dover petrol bomb are yet to be uncovered, there are some things of which we can be certain. Public hostility to desperate people fleeing to our shores has been systematically ramped up by politicians, newspapers and broadcasters. With legal routes closed off, asylum seekers arriving on small boats are portrayed as a sinister invading force. Local citizens languishing on social housing waiting lists (because of politicians’ refusal to build council homes) or stuck waiting weeks for GP appointments (because of an underfunded health service) are led to believe that the problem lies with desperate newcomers. The likes of Braverman are there to shield the political elite from their failure to provide the citizens of a wealthy nation with a comfortable standard of living and adequate public provision, refocusing resentment on all the wrong targets. In the process, they have inflicted cruelty on often already traumatised people. That there is finally, at least, some outcry at this travesty is to be welcomed. But until we stop allowing politicians and their media allies to scapegoat asylum seekers for problems caused by the powerful, these scandals will happen again and again.

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80s4life · 3 years ago

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Character/Movie List

Below is movies and TV shows I like personally and are lsited as a reference. If you don't see something you're interested in, it is not that I don't like it, it is because I most likely forgot it because I love so many movies/shows tbh. Just ask, and I'll answer! And, from the Rules and Regulations page, what I had meant by "mostly" is that I can dabble outside of the acting world and into actors/actresses themselves and/or singers, popstars, etc.

{Another side-note, I am not so much into shows, but mostly movies! Although, there are some exceptions that I love beyond belief!}

MOVIES

Back to the Future Series:

Biff Tannen

Griff Tannen (Maybe, he wasn't the best of the Tannen's imo)

Buford Tannen

Marty McFly

George McFly

Doc Brown

Lorraine Baines

Match

Titanic:

Rose DeWitt Bukater

Jack Dawson

Caledon Hockley

Brock Lovett

Rabrizio De Rossi

Thomas "Tommy" Ryan

Karate Kid Series {1/2/3}:

John Kreese

Mr. Miyagi

Johnny Lawrence

Daniel LaRusso

Tommy

Dutch

Bobby Brown (not so much; don't know him too well)

Ali Mills

Lucille LaRusso

Chozen

Kumiko

Terry Silver (duh lmao)

Mike Barnes (also duh)

Jessica Andrews

Stand By Me:

Vern Tessio

Billy Tessio

Gordie LaChance

Chris Chambers

Eyeball Chambers

Ace Merrill

Teddy Duchamp

Goonies:

Brand

Mikey

Chunk

Mouth

Data

Andy

Stef

Jake Fratelli (he was kinda hot ngl)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

Ferris Bueller

Jeanie Bueller

Cameron Frye

Sloane Peterson

License to Drive:

Les Anderson

Dean

Mercedes Lane

Charles

Toy Soldiers:

Billy Tepper

Joey Trotta

Snuffy Bradberry

Ricardo Montoya

Hank Giles

Derek/Yogurt

Scream Movie Series {1/2}:

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

Dwight "Dewey" Riley

Ghostface

Randy Meeks

Tatum Riley

Sidney Prescott

Gale Weathers

Cotton Weary

Derek Feldman

Mickey

Predator:

Dutch

Blain

Yautja

Escape Plan:

Emil Rottmayer/ "Victor Maheim"

Ray Breslin/ "Anthony Portos"

The Expendables:

Barney Ross

Lee Christmas

Toll Road

Tool

Gunnar Jensen

Bao Thao/ "Yin Yang"

Hale Caesar

Trench

Church

Divergent Movie Series {1/2/3}:

Divergent-

Beatrice "Tris" Prior

Caleb Prior

Peter

Tobias "Four" Eaton

Christina "Chris"

Eric Coulter

Will

Insurgent-

Marcus Eaton

Allegiant-

Matthew

Terminator Series:

T-100/"Uncle Bob"/Terminator

T-1000 "Austin"

John Connor

Sarah Connor

Grace

Dani Ramos

Dazed and Confused:

David Wooderson

Fred O'Bannion

Randall "Pink" Floyd

Ron Slater

Don Dawson

Mitch Kramer

Benny O'Donnell

Rocky Series:

Rocky Balboa

Apollo Creed

Captain Ivan Drago

Zombieland {1/2}:

Tallahassee

Columbus

Berkeley

Witchita

Little Rock

Madison

Lethal Weapon Movie Series {1/2/3/4}:

Martin Riggs

Roger Myrtaugh

Rianne Murtaugh

Leo Getz

Goodfellas:

Henry Hill

Jimmy Conway

Tommy DeVito

Karen Hill

Marvel:

Avengers Heroes-

Iron Man/Tony Stark

Thor

Ant-Man/Scott Lang

Hulk/Bruce Banner

Captain America/Steve Rogers

Hawkeye/ Clint Barton

Quicksilver/Pietro Maximoff

Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff

Black Panther/T'Challa

Vision/Victor Shade

Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff

Mantis

Spider-Man/Peter Parker

Doctor Strange/Stephen Strange

Avengers Anti-Heroes/Antagonists:

Yondu Udonta

Loki Laufeyson

Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes

Whiplash

Thanos

Mysterio

Kaecilius

Ronan

Hela

Ultron

Wolverine/Deadpool:

Wolverine/Logan Howlett

Sabretooth/Victor Creed

Bolt/Chris Bradley

Gambit/Remy LeBeau

Cyclops/Scott Summers

(Younger!)Professor X

Deadpool/Wade Wilson

Cable/Nathan Summers

Colossus/Piotr "Peter" Nikolayevich Rasputin

Dopinger

Weasel

Negasonic Teenage Warhead/Ellie Phimister

DC Universe:

Superman/Clark Kent (Henry Cavill)

Batman/Bruce Wayne (Affleck, Bale versions)

Aquaman/Arthur Curry

Wonder Woman/Diana Prince

Harley Quinn

Joker (Leto, Ledger, Phoenix versions)

Deadshot

Captain Boomerang

Enchantress

Rick Flagg

Bane (Tom Hardy)

TV Shows

Stranger Things:

Mike Wheeler

Nancy Wheeler

Will Byers

Joyce Byers

Johnathan Byers

Maxine "Max" Hargrove

Billy Hargrove

Dustin Henderson

Lucas Sinclair

Robin Buckley

Jim Hopper

Steve Harrington

Sex Education:

Erric Effiong

Aimee Gibbs

Adam Groff

Ola Nyman

Rahim

Otis Milburn

Maeve Wiley

Hannibal (Show):

Hannibal Lector

Will Graham

Dr. Alana Bloom

Jack Crawford

Abigail Hobbs

Orange Is the New Black (OITNB):

Piper Chapman

Nicky Nichols

Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren

Galina "Red" Reznikov

Tasha "Taystee" Jefferson

Dayanara "Daya" Diaz

Gloria Mendoza

Lorna Morello

Tiffany "Pennsatucky" Doggett

Alex Vause

Joel Luschek

Big Boo

Maritza Ramos

Poussey Washington

Yoga Jones

Gina Murphy

Brook Soso

Sophia Burst

George "Pornstache" Mendez

Larry Bloom

Polly Harper

Stella Carlin

The Boys:

Billy Butcher

Starlight/Annie January

Hughie Campbell

Homelander

Kimiko Miyashiro

Queen Maeve/Maggie Shaw

Mother's Milk "M.M."

The Deep/Kevin Moskowitz

Frenchie

Stormfront

Becca Butcher

The Walking Dead (TWD):

Daryl Dixon

Merle Dixon

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Lori Grimes

Maggie Greene

Beth Greene

Glenn Rhee

Negan Smith

Michonne Hawthorne

Carol Peletier

Shane Walsh

Paul "Jesus" Monroe

Eugene Porter

Sgt. Abraham Ford

Outer Banks (OBX):

Sarah Cameron

Rafe Cameron

Ward Cameron

John B

Topper

Pope

Kiara

Shameless:

Frank Gallagher

Fiona Gallagher

Lip Gallagher

Ian Gallagher

Debbie Gallagher

Carl Gallagher

Kevin Ball

Veronica Fisher

Mickey Milkovich

Mandy Milkovich

Svetlana

Jimmy "Steve" Lishman

Karen Jackson

Cobra Kai

Miguel Diaz

Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz

Robby Keene

Demetri

Carmen Diaz

John Kreese (baby version & old version)

Terry Silver (baby version & old version)

Tory Nichols

Samantha "Sam" LaRusso

...AND MANY MORE!

If there is something or someone you like not on this list, feel free to ask or direct message me! For movies like the DC Universe and Marvel, if there is multiple actors of that character and you want a certain one, please make sure that you add that detail!

Rules & Regulations

Masterlist

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imagineclaireandjamie · 4 years ago

Note

The sound of silence.

Modern Glasgow AU

It was surprisingly warm for autumn, so Claire decided to get off the bus two stops early and walk the rest of the way home to Murtagh’s flat.

She pushed in her earphones and turned up the volume on her iPod, flipping to the playlist Jamie had made for her the week before.

Four months married - he was her breath and blood and bone, yet there was so much they still didn’t know about each other.

Like musical tastes.

A few weeks back, they’d decided to switch iPods one afternoon, nestling in bed on an evening when neither of them could sleep.

She’d always preferred something more mellow - preferably piano-based. Tori Amos was a particular favorite.

Jamie - well, he liked music that she would politely describe as loud. Punk, alternative, electronic - she could tell the differences between each genre, but couldn’t distinguish individual songs.

He’d huffed at her music library - and vowed to pull together a list of songs to change her mind.

She had to admit - he’d clearly put a lot of thought into it, and she truly enjoyed the songs he’d picked for her.

They still had so much to learn about one another.

She couldn’t wait.

As she climbed the steps to the flat, she thought about how she’d unwind from another grueling day in the emergency room. A shower, definitely - and perhaps some reading, before Jamie came home from the printshop around six. This morning when they parted for the day with a kiss, he’d suggested they eat in tonight - so it would probably be a good idea to check the pantry.

She unlocked the door and padded to the kitchen for a glass of water.

“Claire.”

Startled, she jumped a bit - her hand clutched to her chest.

“Jamie? What are you doing home so early?”

He swirled the glass of whisky in front of him, sitting up a bit straighter at the table.

She looked closer - and ran to his side.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He did - his face was ashen, his eyes unfocused, his cheeks clammy.

He swallowed, not looking at her. “Something terrible happened today.”

She sank into the chair beside him. Grabbed his hands. “Tell me.”

He took in a shaky breath. “Gavin Hayes killed himself.”

She gasped. Gavin and Mirna had had them over for dinner just a few weeks ago. He was in his forties, had worked his way up from a job like Jamie’s to be an associate editor in the company’s publishing arm. He’d taken a liking to Jamie, and was showing him the ropes.

And now -

“He did it at the office, Claire. Somehow got up onto the roof and jumped to the street.”

“When?” she breathed.

“This morning. Just when everyone was arriving at work. The bastard kent exactly what he was doing.”

“Oh, my love.” She shifted closer and gathered him against her, pressing his face into her neck. He breathed her in, deeply, his body shaking with silent sobs.

“Sshh,” she whispered over and over again. “Sshh.”

“I dinna understand it, Claire. Why would he do that to his wife? To his colleagues? And do it in that way?”

She held him tightly around his shoulders. “There are no good answers for something like this. There will never be.”

He jolted upright. Took her face between his shaky hands. Locked his red-rimmed eyes with hers. “I will never do that to you, Claire. Never. I vow this to you. I love you too much to hurt you in such a way. And I vow that if my heart or mind is ever troubled in such a way that I would even *think* about doing that - ”

“I know, Jamie. You don’t need to tell me.”

“I do, Claire. I must say these words to you.”

She tilted up her chin. “Then I vow the same to you. You are my life. I treasure you and our love and I would never do anything to hurt you.”

He leaned in for a desperate kiss. “I love you,” his lips silently said against hers. “I love you. I love you.”

She dug her fingers into his hair and kissed him - tiny little kisses - showering him with love.

Five minutes later they were in bed, the door securely locked, holding each other skin-on-skin.

“I vow to always tell you what’s on my mind, Claire. I cannae let my thoughts fester.”

“I vow the same to you, Jamie. I will always listen.”

He took in a deep breath. “Things would never get that bad. And if they did, I would tell you all my heart.”

She nuzzled her nose against his. “You have my heart.”

He kissed her, gently, reverently. “I still cannae believe you’re in my life.”

She held him tighter.

Some time later, a piece of paper was slipped under their door.

Jamie had fallen asleep - mentally drained - so Claire gently disentangled herself from him and crossed the room to pick it up.

ORDERING CURRY FOR 3, Murtagh’s cramped handwriting proclaimed.

Claire smiled, poked around on the floor for her clothing, bent to kiss Jamie’s forehead, and unlocked the door to help Murtagh set the table.

#;mod gotham #modern glasgow au #Anonymous

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goodnightjcob · 5 years ago

Conversation

stranger than fiction 💨clare

jake: had an uneasy feeling in the bit of his stomach as he drove to clare's. there was something about the way clare talked about what had happened to tori, her sudden disappearance from her house, the unanswered texts. she expected her to answer him, but clare or any of her friends? it didn't make any sense. but her being 'sick' or whatever was the key, there's no way some puke could have looked that bad, so it had to be something worse than he could imagine. still, he wanted to be there for his friend through whatever she was, clark kent glasses or no for today. he parked in the driveway, glad that his father or her mother weren't here, no distractions in the way. he knocked slightly before he made his way inside, making a beeline for the kitchen. "hey.." he greeted her inside on her couch, eyes grazing over her curiously. "um, i guess it kind of goes without saying..but are /you/ ok?"

#stranger than fiction #clareedwardswrites

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aj-writess-blog · 6 years ago

Text

tag drop for tori kent

#ch:tori kent #ch:tori kent muse #c:tori kent #permanent starter call:tori kent #starter call:tori kent #open starter:tori kent #tori kent likes #tori kent headcanons #tori kent loves #tori kent answers #this is the que

0 notes

unsteadyxmuses · 6 years ago

Text

tag drop for tori kent

0 notes

uk-news-talking-politics · 5 years ago

Text

The tactical voting dilemma: Canterbury goes down to the wire

By Donald Macintyre

"I don't really believe in tactical voting," voter Emily Blake is telling Labour canvasser Huw Kyffin. "Ethically you should vote for your chosen party." In her case that's the Liberal Democrats, but she's hesitant. If she backs her chosen party, she increases the chances of a Conservative victory in her Canterbury constituency.

So can he count on her vote on December 12, asks Kyffin. "Not quite yet," Emily says, politely.

Thousands of such agonised exchanges, replicated in different ways across the country, could yet decide this extraordinary general election. Indeed, Canterbury is totemic for reasons that go beyond its status as a hyper-marginal (Labour's Rosie Duffield won in 2017 by 187 votes).

It's also a test of whether an attractive, energetic and independent-minded local candidate can outweigh the negatives attaching to her party's national leadership, of the claims that the real divide in British politics is now between Leavers and Remainers, and of whether some new political alignment may hesitantly be taking shape, at least in southern England, which is catalysed by, but not confined to, Brexit.

YouGov's seat-by seat-analysis predicts that Canterbury will once again be Labour – the only such seat in Kent. But it won't be a pushover. Without a chance of winning themselves, the Lib Dem leadership insisted on parachuting in a new candidate, Claire Malcolmson, after the previous one, journalist Tim Walker, stood down explicitly to give the resolutely pro-Remain Duffield a clear run.

In reality, there are few signs of signs of active canvassing for Malcolmson and Labour canvassers report a steady stream of Lib Dem conversions. But YouGov still identified an 11% Lib Dem base. Anna Firth, the Tory candidate and a Vote Leave stalwart, has been luckier. The Brexit candidate withdrew and was not replaced.

Having spent a few days talking to a wide range of electors across the city - pro and anti Brexit, students and locals, working and middle class, black and white - I think Duffield can win provided she can make herself heard above the din of the air war. She must overcome two problems: doubts about Corbyn (a "bit too communist", as one hospital porter on the minimum wage described him) and about electoral politics in general.

Duffield herself thinks that some people "are so fed up with voting and they don't trust politicians - and when people are lying and they're running the country or breaking the law without seeming to care, I can't blame them". Her answer is to stress that as the one genuinely local candidate – she has lived in Canterbury for 22 years - "I care about them and understand their way of life here."

She responds similarly to the Corbyn issue. The Labour leader's policies are clearly attracting many of the city's 35,000 students, but he remains a handicap for some older voters. Duffield points to the public's "love or loath relationship" with both party leaders. "All I can keep saying is: 'well, I'm not Jeremy Corbyn'. I think it's obvious that if there are things I don't agree with the leadership, I'm not going to go along with it. If you don't like the manager of your football team during a particular season you don't abandon your football team."

Her public stand against the party's handling of anti-semitism complaints are why Canterbury is one of the select seats in which the Jewish Labour Movement have campaigned. On Brexit, of course, Duffy has consistently backed a second referendum since she was elected. "I wanted the job and it was a lovely, lovely surprise," she says. "But I don't want it enough to compromise my principles. I promised the people here I would be a Remain MP. I had a coalition of people here including Greens, Lib Dems, even Tories, and I'm not going to let them down." Many of the 45% of voters here who backed Leave, she suggests, care more about public services than the EU issue.

Duffield's determination to be politically her own woman may be her primary asset. "I think all MPs have to do that now on both sides," she says, "because the country is so divided". And yet, even if she isn't tribalist, she's still wholly Labour. She picked Nye Bevan as her hero at the Whitstable hustings and her opening statement ringingly denounced "ten years of austerity and the punishing cruel harsh things it has done to poor people", ranging from "Pip assessments to the way asylum seekers and refugees are treated by this government".

The reference to a "coalition of people" is apt. Last weekend Duffield had the starry support at a city centre rally of Emily Thornberry in full-on Remain mode, and - partly in response to Duffield's stunning October Commons speech describing her own abuse by a recent partner – of the Women's Equality Party, including an enthusiastic Sandi Toksvig.

Canterbury for Europe, one of several overlapping groupings increasingly focussed on returning Duffield on December 12, includes Lib Dems like former council leader Alex Perkins and even former Tories, such as Joe Egerton. As a pro-European Tory council candidate, Egerton was expelled for refusing to back the previous MP, Julian Brazier, because he accepted support from Ukip.

"I can no longer regard my former party as that of Disraeli or Macmillan," he says. "I don't agree with all Rosie Duffield's policies but she clearly believes that the only use of power is to secure the welfare of the people."

Just before last week's hustings Kevin Tubb, 41, who not only used to vote Conservative but once worked for William Hague, said he would "have to hold my nose and vote for Rosie Duffield" because he was a firm Remainer. Midway through the hustings, he tapped me on the shoulder, and made a thumbs up sign. He clearly would no longer need to hold his nose.

Whether or not this presages a flight of crypto-Remain Tories to Duffield remains to be seen. But it's telling that the Tory candidate presents such a subdued form of euroscepticism. She tweeted after the 2016 Leave vote her congratulations to "political heroes" Nigel Farage and Daniel Hannan for making it happen. But now Firth is trying to make Johnson's pitch sound as palatable as possible to Remain-inclined voters. "It's not a far-right, Farage deal," she insisted to Whitstable voters last week.

Canterbury has in fact had an anti-Tory majority since 1997, one that failed to mobilise in successive elections because it was split between Labour, the Lib Dems, and latterly the Greens. Everything could come down to whether voters like Emily Blake can bring themselves to back a Labour candidate as a way to stop the Tories.

If she wins it will be more than just a Labour victory. It will be a triumph for that "coalition of people" and a much-needed boost for the social democratic tradition in British politics.

#general-election-2019

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ao3feed-narlie · 1 year ago

Text

You Are The Only Exception

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/DT5rbXA by jtlfloof As I sit on my bed, in my secluded, sectioned-off dungeon in the family house, I hear a faint knock on the front door as well as a few more, louder knocks. Then I hear my brother, Charles, or Charlie as he prefers, run down the stairs in a record-like speed as if he is about to see the likes of a Hemsworth brother outside our house, in Kent of all places. I’m not quite sure why he’s rushing to the door so fast. Soon, I find out my answer as he opens the door. When he does, I hear a boys voice downstairs. A boy's voice that I recognise. At first, I'm not entirely sure I know why I know that voice, but then it hits me. Nicholas Nelson. Nicholas Luke Nelson is currently in my house, on a Saturday, visiting my brother of all people. ------------------------------ or; a 5+1 where it's Tori's perspective as Nick and Charlie's relationship grows Words: 4403, Chapters: 2/6, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Heartstopper (TV), Solitaire - Alice Oseman Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Victoria "Tori" Spring, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Oliver "Olly" Spring, Rebecca "Becky" Allen, Jane Spring, Julio Spring, Tao Xu, Elle Argent, Isaac Henderson (Heartstopper), Michael Holden (Solitaire) Relationships: Charles "Charlie" Spring & Victoria "Tori" Spring, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Michael Holden/Victoria "Tori" Spring Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Mental Health Issues, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Fluff, No Smut, Boys In Love, Not Beta Read, POV First Person, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/DT5rbXA

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #heartstopper #narlie #nick x charlie #nick nelson #charlie spring #narlie fanfic

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90beesinatrenchcoat · 2 years ago

Text

Solitaire Master Doc

⚠️Spoiler warning for the entire novel!⚠️

⛔️tw: depression, suicidal ideation, eating disorders, B*n H*pe⛔️

Novel by Alice Oseman (she/they) @aliceoseman

Compiled by yours truly @90beesinatrenchcoat as planning for a critical analysis for my Capstone course to get my BFA in Creative Writing. Because Alice Oseman is the greatest and is helping me graduate 😌

Opening quote:

“And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.”

“And yours,” he replied with a smile, “is to wilfully to misunderstand them.”

Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen

Characters

“Our Lot” a group of friends, in which Tori doesn't quite fit in.

Victoria Spring, introduced pg. 3. “My name is Victoria Spring. I think you should know that I make up a lot of stuff in my head and then get sad about it. I like to sleep and I like to blog. I am going to die someday.” “Nothing. I am a vacuum. I am a void. I am nothing” (15).

Rebecca “Becky” Allen, introduced pg. 3 “Rebecca Allen is probably my only real friend at the moment. She is also probably my best friend. I am as yet unsure whether these two facts are related” (4).

Evelyn Foley. “Evelyn is considered ‘alternative’ because she has messy hair and wears cool necklaces” (5).

Lauren Romily “a social smoker and seems to love chaos” (23).

Rita - Friend. Not really super important to Tori? To the point that I didn't even notice her first mention.

Lucas Ryan, introduced pg. 25. He is the blond guy in skinny trousers referred to by Michael. Tori’s childhood best friend, who she hasn’t talked to in years.

Michael Holden. Introduced pg. 8. “He’s a very ordinary-looking, not ugly but not hot, miscellaneous boy. His most noticeable feature is a pair of large, thick-framed square glasses that sort of make him look like he’s wearing 3D cinema glasses. He’s tall and has a side parting. In one hand, he holds a mug; in the other a piece of paper and his school planner.”

Nick, introduced p.35. “At first glance, Nicholas Nelson, a Year 12 like me, looks exactly like the kind of scary lads you’d see crammed at the back of the school bus, ready to throw sandwiches at you. But in reality, Nick is actually the human embodiment of a golden retriever puppy, as well as being Truham’s rugby captain and a genuinely lovely person. I can’t really remember when Nick and Charlie became Nick-and-Charlie, but Nick has stuck with Charlie through all the hardest parts of his mental illness, so, in my book, he’s definitely all right” (37).

Charlie. “My brother, Charles Spring, is fifteen years old and a Year 11 at Truham Grammar. In my opinion, he is the nicest person in the history of the universe and I know that ‘nice’ is kind of a meaningless word, but that’s what makes it so powerful. It’s very hard to simply be a ‘nice’ person because there are a lot of things that can get in the way” (35). He’s struggling with an eating disorder.

Oliver, seven years old. Introduced p. 36.

Mr Kent, Deputy Head, resembles Alan Rickman, Tori’s English teacher.

Miss Strasser, in Mr. Kent’s posse and only likely 5 years older than year 12s

Zelda, Head Girl

Mrs Lemaire, Headmistress, rumored to be a member of French government, never present in the school

Mum (Jane Spring) introduced p.31. “She’s very much like me, if you think about it. She’s in love with Microsoft Excel the way I’m in love with Google Chrome. She asks me how my day was, but I just shrug and say that it was fine, because I’m fairly sure she doesn’t care what my answer is. It’s because we’re so similar that we stopped talking to each other so much. When we do talk, we either struggle to find things to say or we just get angry, so apparently we’ve reached a mutual agreement that there’s really no point trying any more. I’m not too bothered.”

Dad (Julio Spring)– “Dad’s quite chatty, even if everything he says is extraordinarily irrelevant to my life” (32).

Jack, Becky’s almost-boyfriend. (32). They had sex, it throws Tori for a loop (34).

Ben Hope. “Ben Hope is the guy at Higgs. And, by the guy, I mean that one boy in the sixth form that every single girl in the entire school has a crush on. There’s always one. Tall and slim-built. Skinny trousers and tight shirts. He usually straightens his dark brown hair and, I swear to God, it defies gravity because it swishes in a kind of organized vortex, but, when he doesn’t straighten it, it’s all curly and he just looks so cute you want to die. He always appears to be serene. He skateboards. I, personally, do not ‘fancy’ him. I’m just trying to express his perfection” (45).

Grandma and Grandad introduced p.246. Doesn't know much about their grandkids. Says accidentally offensive and uncomfortable things. Generally unlikeable.

Quiff Guy Evelyn’s secret boyfriend and part of Solitaire. Name revealed as Aaron Ridley on p.359

Solitaire.co.uk

List of all occurrences:

Introduced as an empty troll blog (13).

First Prank: star wars music and photoshopped photos of Kent (star wars is a major obsession of Tori’s from when she was younger) (22-23).

Solitaire: Patience Kills (30).

Clocks replaced by pieces of paper reading “Tempus Fugit” (67). Hysteria in school assembly over playing Justin Timberlake’s ‘SexyBack.’ Kent walked up hall stage stairs and the word ‘SWAG’ appeared on the projector screen (68).

Two cats let loose in school (68). Tori quite likes cats.

Madonna’s ‘Material Girl’ stuck on repeat (69) which Tori had an obsession with once.

Team Ops intersected by Solitaire (86). Video footage makes Tori cry. Tori is locked in C13.

First Solitaire meet-up announced (93).

The school computers are locked to only accessing the Solitaire blog displaying a topless Jake Gyllenhaal and a message (170).

Photo of a hand, about to break the glass of the school fire alarm button. Text reads: “DO I DARE/ DISTURB. THE UNIVERSE?” (180).

At the first meet-up, which is a house party, the post reveals that Ben Hope hurt a Year 11 (228).

Mob beats up Ben Hope because of Solitaire’s blog post (232).

Year 7s given party poppers and release them over the field (257).

Gif of little boy blowing bubbles out of a plastic pot (272).

Flyers are spread at The Clay music festival that have an anarchy symbol and say FRIDAY (279).

Hijacks music festival between artists. Takes over the screen and has a distorted voice announcer talk about Friday. Fireworks go off in the crowd. (287).

Countdown timer on the blog for Friday. Kent’s lectern with the anarchy symbol is moved to the middle of the field (313). The lectern is set on fire.

The Final Countdown plays out over the tannoy. The posters are joined by pictures of Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, Abraham Lincoln, Emmeline Pankhurst, Rage Against the Machine. (323).

Solitaire origins revealed in chapter 13

New blog post appears Thursday night, talking about Solitaire’s greatest operation (349)

Sets Higgs on fire (Part 2 Chapter 116).

Place

“There are two grammar schools in our town: Harvey Greene Grammar School for Girls, or ‘Higgs’ as it is popularly known, and Truham Grammar School for Boys. Both schools, however, accept all genders in Years 12 and 13, the two final years of school known countrywide as the sixth form. So, now that I am in Year 12, I have had to face a sudden influx of guys. Boys at Higgs are on a par with mythical creatures and having an actual real boyfriend puts you at the head of the social hierarchy, but personally, thinking or talking too much about ‘boy issues’ makes me want to shoot myself in the face” (6).

C16 (computer room), Kent’s classroom, and the art conservatory are also main settings. We occasionally go to various houses: Tori’s house, Michael’s house, and house parties at Solitaire (revealed to be an empty house owned by Lucas’ parents), or Becky’s house (where Ben Hope is beaten up). We know there’s a field, a river, a festival at a place called The Clay, a riverside café, and an ice rink.

Main Tools

Dialogue – lots of dialogue, between major and minor characters. Sets us in time and makes it feel realistic, but also reveals a lot about the speaker and about Tori with her internal reactions

POV: First person, present tense, Tori Spring’s point of view.

Interiority. Alice does a good job portraying Tori’s mental health struggles and revealing her character through her thoughts.

Multimedia. Alice incorporates texting, blogs, and phone calls in creative ways that serves to place the reader in time.

Part 1

Elizabeth Bennet: Do you dance, Mr Darcy?

Mr Darcy: Not if I can help it.

Pride and Prejudice (2005)

One pp. 3-16

Introduces Tori, with some brief characterization. Introduces Higgs setting. Introduces “Our Lot”, Becky and Evelyn. Tori discovers Solitaire.co.uk through post its popping up throughout the school leading her to computer room C16. Meets Michael Holden, doesn’t know what to make of him. He was asked to look for her by a “Blond guy…skinny trousers” (10). Solitaire.co.uk is empty which Tori finds strangely disappointing.

Two pp. 17-28

More characterization of students at Higgs. Tori describes the groups, and feels like she doesn’t fit into any of the groups. During sixth form meeting, first Solitaire prank occurs. Blog is updated with a photo of Kent’s reaction to the prank. Students start really liking Solitaire. Tori feels weird about it. Is reintroduced to her primary school best friend, Lucas.

Three pp. 29-41

Tori’s blog introduced. Household/family vibes established, as she discusses relationship with parents, and then interacts with her brothers and Nick as they build a cardboard tractor. The boys like Lucas Ryan but are wary of Michael Holden. Nick says he’s a legend for his pranks, but Charlie finds him a bit scary. Charlie heard a rumor he isn’t straight. Musings on if Michael could be behind Solitaire, but Tori isn’t so sure.

Four pp. 42-53

Start of term thing at Pizza Express. Lucas is there, as well as Evelyn, Lauren, and Becky. Introduced to Ben Hope. Michael shows up. He came all the way to tell Tori something that he has forgotten. Tori and him establish whether they are friends (51).

Five pp.54-61

Tori and Michael discuss sexuality. Michael is unlabeled. They walk home together, and discuss their names, and Michael again asks why they can’t be friends. He seems desperate to be her friend. He tells her what he forgot: that they had met before, when he gave her a tour around Truham. She remarks that he seemed normal then. He replies: “For most people, normal is their default setting. But for some, like you and me, normal is something we have to bring out, like putting on a suit for a posh dinner” (61).

Six pp.62-66

Conflict with Mum over Oliver and video games. Blogging and introspection.

Seven pp. 67-76

More Solitaire pranks. Tori and Lucas catch up.

Eight pp.77-81

Zelda nominates Tori for Operation Inconspicuous to stake out Solitaire. Becky likes Ben, Jack is history. Friendship is a bit rocky, as Becky feels like Tori doesn’t care/finds her annoying.

Nine pp. 82-96

The stakeout. Tori gets locked in C13 with Solitaire’s message. She calls Michael, wondering if he is even a real person. He comes to let her out but wants to see her smile first as proof that she’s a real person. They continue the Solitaire investigation. When Zelda shows up, Michael disappears and Tori wonders what made him show up to school at 7am.

Ten pp.97-102

Tori is thrown off all day. Another awkward interaction with Lucas. Tells Charlie everything, who thinks she shouldn’t spend so much time with Michael. Some household moments, awkward interactions surrounding Charlie’s ED, and then Tori watches movies and blogs.

Eleven pp.103-113

Tori hangs out in Becky’s bedroom, discussing possible costumes for Becky’s birthday party. Tori goes home and dresses as Wednesday Addams. Tori goes to the party. Becky shares that Ben Hope asked her out. Anonymous message on her blog reads “Thought for the day: Why do cars always part for ambulances? (109). Tori wants to leave the party, but Michael (dressed as Sherlock) shows up and convinces her to stay and watch a movie with him upstairs.

Twelve pp.114-126

Michael and Tori have conversations and discuss what to watch—Michael thinks Beauty and the Beast will do Tori good. In this conversation we learn Tori was born the day Kurt Cobain killed himself. Michael cries during Beauty and the Beast, and Tori isn’t sure how to respond to that. Later, they talk about Michael knowing Charlie, and Tori tells him about Charlie’s ED and everything. They almost fall asleep. At 1:39am, Oliver calls, because Charlie locked himself in the kitchen. They run to get home, intersected by a very drunk Becky. They get on Michael’s bike and go home. “I realise that I’m happy even though I shouldn’t be, and the conflicting emotion only makes the moment more insane, more radiant, more immeasurable” (125).

Thirteen pp.127-133

Tori gets inside and sends Oliver to bed. She gets into the kitchen and discovers Charlie has relapsed, not touching his food, organizing everything in the fridge, and cutting himself. He and Nick had an argument, so she called Nick and he came back. Afterward, Tori calls her parents and is obviously shaken up, but even more bothered by how calm her dad is on the phone. “I listen to the dark. They’re all coming to get you. Your heartbeats are footsteps. Your brother is unwell. You don’t have any friends. Nobody feels bad for you. Beauty and the Beast isn’t real. It’s funny because it’s true. Don’t be sad any more. Don’t be sad any more” (133).

Fourteen pp.134-141

Michael calls Tori. He comes over, greets her with a hug, makes tea, meets Oliver. Ends up spending the day there, meets the rest of Tori’s family.

Fifteen pp.142-146

Tori goes to Michael’s house.

Sixteen pp.147-160

They walk hand in hand, non-romantically. He takes her to a riverside café. They talk. Michael missed the deadline to apply to schools, and hates school. Michael suggests that Solitaire might somehow be connected to Tori, because all the pranks have been connected to her interests. He takes her to the ice rink and she sees that he’s an insane skater. They continue walking, and eventually lie down in the grass. A new anonymous message pops up: “Thought for the day: Why do people leave newspapers on trains?” (155). They talk for awhile.

Seventeen pp. 161-165

They arrive home. Michael brings up the friendship question again. He says, “All friendships are selfish. Maybe if we were all selfless, we would leave each other alone” (162). They have their first fight, because Tori can’t figure out if he’s in love with her, and her pessimism grates on him. “Maybe you are a manically depressed psychopath” (163). Charlie is at Nick’s. She thinks about Michael, and Becky, and how much Becky will talk about Ben, and “I think about who else I could hang around with. There isn’t anyone. I think about how I do not want to leave this house ever again. I think about whether I had any homework to do this weekend. I think about what a dreadful person I am” (165).

Eighteen pp. 166-178

Becky is with Ben, and they learn Ben knew Charlie. Lucas comes back over to Tori and they have another awkward encounter. Solitaire strikes again, Kent doubles down trying to get it under control. Hangs out with Our Lot, more dialogue. That night the family accompanies Charlie to his appointment with his psychiatrist. In the waiting room, Charlie asks Tori why they haven’t been talking. They clear the air, and start catching up. Charlie finds out about Becky dating Ben Hope. Charlie decides he’ll give Michael a chance. “Michael’s okay. He’s proven that. I don’t understand why you can’t accept things like this. If you can’t accept things you don’t understand, then you’ll spend your life questioning everything. Then you’ll have to live out your life in your own head.” …. “Is that a bad thing?” I ask. “Victoria, that is how you end up in a place like this.” (178).

Nineteen pp.179-181

Fire alarm goes off in Period 5. She sees Michael and contemplates. She sees others, wonders if Lucas and Evelyn are secretly dating. On the Solitaire Blog, there’s a new post. Photo of a hand, about to break the glass of the school fire alarm button. Text reads: “DO I DARE/ DISTURB. THE UNIVERSE?” (180).

Twenty pp.182-186

Tori calls Michael.

Twenty-One pp.187-189

Tori rides with Charlie to school. Gets paired with Ben Hope in maths. He asks about Charlie.

Twenty-Two pp.190-193

Lucas and Tori talk, she asks about Evelyn. Becky comes over. Later, Tori sees Michael. He reminds her to show up to the first Solitaire meet up on Saturday.

Twenty-Three pp.194-203

On Friday before the party, Nick, Tori, Michael, Becky, and Lucas wait for Charlie and Ben outside Truham. They go in looking for them, only to find them in a fight. Ben is yelling that Charlie spread lies about them to Tori, and punches Charlie in the face. They intervene. Tori thinks Becky will break up with Ben.

Twenty-Four pp. 204-214

On Saturday morning, Tori sleeps in and is dead to the world. Finally gets up. Charlie lied about his face to his parents, said he was hit by a cricket bat. Michael calls her from the National Youth Speed Skating Semi-Finals, which she had no idea he was in. She realizes that’s what he was trying to invite her to, but she didn’t realize. She goes to the rink and catches the end, where Michael comes in second and is angry. She’s shocked, having her perception of him turned so drastically upside down.

Twenty-Five pp.215-224

The Solitaire house party. Tori and Michael dance.

Twenty-Six pp. 225-229

Tori discovers Becky is still with Ben, and feels betrayed. They have a fight. Solitaire posts, outing Ben Hope as a bully and homophobe who deliberately hurt a Year 11.

Twenty-Seven pp. 230-234

The partyers descend like a mob on Ben Hope, beating him up. No one intervenes. Nick and Charlie call 999. Tori really starts to believe that somehow Solitaire all links back to her. “This is what we are. Solitaire. We could just – they just – they’ll kill him. You think you’ve met bad people, and then you meet people who are worse. They’re doing nothing – they’re not – we’re just as bad. We’re just as bad for doing nothing. We don’t care. We don’t care that they could kill him—” (232). Michael wants to take her home, she argues, and makes a run for it. “I’m out of the garden. I’m out of the world. The giants and demons are rising and I am chasing them. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick. Am I hallucinating this? I am not the hero. It's funny because it’s true. I begin to laugh, or maybe I’m crying. Maybe I don’t care any more. Maybe I’m going to pass out. Maybe I’ll die when I’m twenty-seven.”

Part 2

Donnie: A storm is coming, Frank says. A storm that will swallow the children. And I will deliver them from the kingdom of pain. I will deliver the children back to their doorsteps. I’ll send the monsters back to their doorsteps. I’ll send the monsters back to the underground. I’ll send them back to a place where no one else can see them. Except for me, ‘cause I am Donnie Darko.

Donnie Darko: The Director’s Cut (2004)

One pp. 235-241

Tori thinks back on Lucas’s crying. She’s wandering the school on Monday, can’t find Lucas or Michael. She wants to apologize for standing Lucas up on Saturday. New anon text: “Thought for the day: What is the point in studying literature?” (237). Our Lot has not talked to Tori. Ben did not go to the hospital, was nowhere near death. Kent discusses Tori’s essay on Pride and Prejudice, says it’s a very angry essay. They discuss her falling grades.

Two pp.242-245

Tori finds Lucas and Evelyn. She confronts Lucas, apologizes, tries to figure out why he’s avoiding her. He leaves because he can’t do this and leaves his locker slightly open. With the corridor smelling like mouldy eggs, she takes a peek at a sheet about dealing with stress and a sketch of a girl looking like scream painting and then leaves.

Three pp. 246-251

There’s an awkward family dinner with Grandma and Granddad, who make snide comments about Charlie’s eating and don’t realize he’s gay. Tori texts with Lucas and they decide to meet up. When she gets there, she waits awhile, only for him to text “Sorry x” and stand her up.

Four pp. 252-257

At a school assembly, Rita warns Tori she’s isolating herself. Tori looks for Michael, when she can’t find him, googles him. Year 7s pull a prank, blasting party popper streamers into the air, and Tori hates herself for finding the prank amusing.

Five pp.258-265

Tori finally finds Michael and finds out he was suspended for swearing at Kent. They talk about the prank and realize it’s strange that it happened while Tori was on break sitting in the field. She finds out Michael asked Charlie about her and doesn’t like that people worry about her. “I don’t want people to be worried about me. There’s nothing to worry about. I don’t want people to try and understand why I am the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that. And I don’t understand yet. I don’t want people to interfere. I don’t want people in my head, picking out this and that, permanently picking up the broken pieces of me. If that’s what friends do, then I don’t want any….I start to think about four weeks ago, when I didn’t know Michael. When Solitaire hadn’t happened. I am aware that I feel sadder about things now. A lot of things around me have been very sad, and I seem to be the only one who can see it. Becky, for example. Lucas. Ben Hope. Solitaire. Everyone is okay with hurting people. Or maybe they cannot see that they’re hurting people. But I can” (264-265).

Six pp.266-270

Tori and Kent talk about her new essay which she wrote normally, and Kent wants to know what she really thinks. They talk about it, and friendship, and Kent is pushing her to change her ways.

Seven pp.271-276

Anon: “Thought for the day: Why do people believe in God?” New gif on Solitaire blog of a boy blowing bubbles. Tori gets home and cries to Charlie. She goes through a box of keepsakes, reads a page from her diary, and shreds it up. Finds an empty pot of bubbles in the box. Tori used to love bubbles. She realizes it’s all connected to her, and she throws up. She has a rough time, and decides she has to do something about Solitaire.

Eight pp.277-284

Nick and Charlie take Tori to a music festival. They separate from each other in the crowd. Tori notices a flyer with an anarchy symbol that says “Friday” on it. Tori finds Lucas in the crowd and drags him to somewhere they can talk. He says it’s hard to be around her, she doesn’t understand. She goes on a rant, and spills about how Charlie hurting himself affected her, and how he wrote her a card apologizing, and on the card there was a cake. Lucas walks away from her.

Nine pp. 285-294

Nick and Charlie call Tori, tells her she needs to come to the car because something is happening. Solitaire hijacks the show. Fireworks go off in the crowd. Tori spots Michael across the river where it’s narrow and she can hear him. She spots a firework that is about to go off and hit her. They both jump into the river, but Tori’s sleeve gets caught by the firework and set on fire, even when she plunges it into the river she’s injured. “The fireworks keep going, never-ending, and Michael’s face keeps flashing in rainbow colours and the light gleams from his glasses and several flyers swirl around us like we’re trapped in a hurricane and the black water strangles us and we’re so close and there are people shouting at us and pointing but I really couldn’t give a crap and the cold has dissolved into some kind of numb ache but it barely registers and I think the tears freeze on my cheeks and I don’t really know what happens but through some kind of planetary force I find myself holding him like I don’t know what else to do and he’s holding me like I’m sinking and I think he kisses the top of my head and It might just be a snowflake but he definitely whispers “nobody cries alone” or it might have been “nobody dies alone” and I feel that as long as I stay here then there might be some kind of tiny chance that there is something remotely good in this world and the last thing I remember thinking before I pass out from the cold is that if I were to die, I would rather be a ghost than go to heaven” (294).

Ten pp.295-305

The school is littered with Solitaire Friday posters and Kent and Zelda and prefects are furious. Tori feels like the only person who could stop them. She and Michael talk about Solitaire. At dinner later with Nick and Charlie, Tori explodes at them. Tori is not doing well, and is fixated on Friday.

Eleven pp.306-315

Tori and her mom fight over not having an ironed skirt, leaving Tori with the realization that she doesn’t give a damn. Becky and Tori have a fight over their friendship. Becky thinks Tori’s breaking down. Tori goes to a new spot that’s introduced, the roof of the art conservatory. Sees a Solitaire gathering in the field where Kent’s lectern is burned.

Twelve pp.316-322

Tori and Michael talk in the library. He has news to share but doesn’t share it. They get into a fight and then he walks out of her life.

Thirteen pp.323-347

It’s Thursday. New posters hung up by Solitaire. Tori calls Michael. They meet up, outside on the field by the art conservatory, where Tori has brought a heater. Michael shares his news about skating. He invites her to watch him at the World Junior Speed Skating Championships. She agrees, and they get into a playful snowball fight. They chase each other, and end up back inside, and play on the swivel chairs, and then lay down under a skylight and watch it snow. Michael gives his thought of the day: “Do you think that, if we were happy for our entire lives, we would die feeling like we’d miss out on something?” (334). This is where Tori realizes he was anon this whole time. They fall asleep on the tables. Then, Tori wakes up to hear Michael and Lucas having an argument. Lucas reveals to Tori that he is Solitaire. He did it because he’s in love with her. He explains the day he saw her at school playing Solitaire on the computer, muttering how she hates herself, and how that put him into a rage, and he blamed the school. He quit after people got hurt at the Clay, but now there were too many followers, it was out of hand. He claims not to know what is coming Friday, except that they will meet at the school at 6am.

Fourteen pp.348-366

Tori calls Becky at 5 in the morning. Becky tells her to go home. She gets to school. She finds Solitaire: Evelyn Foley, Quiff Guy, and Lucas. Becky shows up for Tori. They listen in on the three, as Lucas tries to convince them to stop what they’re doing. Becky intervenes. Quiff throws a smoking bag at a classroom bookshelf. It fizzles out. It’s revealed they were trying to burn down the school. They think it’s all over, when it’s revealed that it worked, Kent’s classroom has caught fire and it is blazing. Tori is still inside, and Michael Holden shows up, throwing a fire extinguisher through a window.

Fifteen pp.367-371

She runs away from Michael, trying to find another fire extinguisher or some way to stop the fire, feeling like if she doesn’t it will all be for nothing. She finds herself on the conservatory roof. “A thousand thoughts at once. Michael Holden is nine hundred of them. The rest are self-hatred” (371).

Sixteen pp.372-382

At the edge of the roof, Tori thinks about the people in her life. Charlie appears below the school, yelling at her not to jump. Nick appears also, and other people. Michael appears, offering her a hand, trying to talk her out of killing herself. It’s revealed that Michael also wanted the school to burn, but not at this cost. He talks about how much he hates himself, and Tori says he shouldn’t. They kiss, knowing it isn’t an appropriate moment. “I think I’ve loved you since I met you” he says as we draw apart. “I just mistook it for curiosity” (379). They get out of the building, and the school burns down.

After pp. 385-390

Karl Benson: I haven’t seen you since, like, junior year. I thought you killed yourself.

Andrew Largeman: What?

Karl Benson: I thought you killed yourself. That wasn’t you?

Andrew Largeman: No, no, tha-that wasn’t me.

Garden State (2004)

Tori, Michael, Lucas, Becky, Nick and Charlie get into Nick’s car to go to the hospital. Charlie apologizes to Tori because he noticed she wasn’t well but didn’t do anything. Becky says: “I get it though. All they wanted was to make us feel like we belonged to something important. Making an impression in the world. Because, like, we’re all waiting for something to change. Patience can kill you” (389). As they all sit in the car thinking, Tori ends the novel with these reflections. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to our school and I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. I don’t know how long I’m going to be like this. All I know is that I’m here. And I’m alive. And I’m not alone” (390).

Summary

Solitaire by Alice Oseman is the story of Tori Spring, a sixteen-year-old in Year 12 at Higgs. Tori likes to blog and watch films and is introverted and struggling as things are changing around her: best friends getting interested in boys and sex and alcohol, feeling like a ghost around her classmates, and not being able to connect with old friends the same way she used to. A strange guy named Michael Holden shows up at her school and they are drawn to each other by their combined curiosity over Solitaire, a blog that has popped up and is orchestrating increasingly elaborate to downright dangerous pranks on the school. Tori starts to realize that all the pranks seem to have one thing in common: her. Solitaire explores themes of mental health, friendship, and what love looks like when it’s hard to give a damn about anything at all.

Work Cited

Oseman, Alice. Solitaire. HarperCollins, 2014.

I'm writing a paper on Solitaire by @aliceoseman and I went into an adhd hyperfixation stupor and made a 20 page master doc on the novel and enjoyed every second of it. This is just further proof that Alice is a genius and everything I hope to become as a writer. If this gets enough attention let me know if you want me to share the doc 👀

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