#topmini

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Spring Vault Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

Oh boy, a vault! A spring vault! A vault full of goodies and treasures, perhaps? Only one way to find out! Come on, Spring Vault, you have nothing to hide! Open up, and let us inside!

Uh oh, lasers? Those goodies and treasures aren't good or treasured! Nevermind, Spring Vault. You can keep your goodies to yourself. I don't want them and neither does Mario.

This is Spring Vault, from Super Mario Galaxy! I didn't know they were called that, but as it turns out, the wiki didn't until pretty recently either, so I'm not alone. Spring Vaults are a stationary enemy that attack Mario by shooting circular laser beams from a safe distance!

Which raises my first question: are "circular laser beams" even something that can exist? Does light work that way? I wouldn't know! That sounds like a physics question and I know next to nothing about physics because I'm bad at math. I got my degree in Applied Weird Mario Enemies Studies at Wet-Dry World's Wet n' Wild Wuniversity.

If you can hop over Spring Vault's possibly impossible circular laser beams, then you can jump on Spring Vault to reveal the real treasure: Spring! Jump on Spring Vault with the spring revealed, and you can get some impressive vertical, bringing Jump Man to heights never before thought to be possible...

Don't worry too much about breaking the Funny Robot though. If you leave it undisturbed for long enough, it'll fix itself by Recalibrating Its Spring Senors or some other vaguely technological-sounding mumbo jumbo. I don't know anything about computers either! I'm writing this post on a stone tablet!

If you're familiar with your Weird Mario Enemies, you may note that Spring Vault looks similar to the Topmen from the same game, especially the Spring Topman, which loses out on its laser functionality to let you enjoy Springing on the go! But just as the Topman is a whole family of enemies, Spring Vault has a bit of a family of its own, which I'll cover beneath the cut!

First up, we have the Sentry Garage, which is probably the closest relative of the Spring Vault. Sentry Garages are a similarly stationary enemy that can be jumped on to reveal the spring within, but instead of shooting out lasers, they shoot Topminis! I'd make another joke about the miracle of childbirth, but the name suggests these are just a Topmini storage unit...

Sentry Garage looks like a pretty stylish place to keep your Topminis, but if a plumber comes by and spins them into next Thursday, don't say I didn't warn you!

Sadly, Sentry Garage is about as interesting as the Spring Vault family gets, because the rest of these are more "obstacle" than enemy. Like Ring Beamer, for example! No eyes or anything. Just a bunch of spikes. But sea urchins have no eyes and a bunch of spikes, and they're awesome, so maybe we should extend the same love to Ring Beamer. Make it feel loved. Make it feel like part of a family.

It's not trying to make you feel like part of a family though! Lasers? Spikes? Everything Ring Beamer does is a pretty clear indicator to Stay Away!

Up next we have the Ball Beamers, but you can call them Banjo and Kazooie, because they have Nuts and Bolts! Like the Ring Beamer, these are more obstacle than enemy, but unlike Ring Beamer, they don't have spikes or anything. This makes them safe for Mario to stand on, but it also means you can't compare them to sea urchins as much. You win some, you lose some.

They're still not completely safe though, because you know. Circular laser beams.

The thing is, whether they're an Enemy or Obstacle, Nintendo must have really fallen in love with the Ring Beamer family, because they've kept making new variants in subsequent 3D Mario games! Meet Ring Burner, introduced in Super Mario 3D World! Rather than lasers, this one shoots fire, but otherwise it has the same basic attack patterns.

Or at least it can have the same attack patterns, because some Ring Burners shoot fire in squares instead! Haven't you heard? It's hip to be square! This feels like it goes against the name, but oh well. Like Ball Beamer, these ones are safe to stand on, and they won't fire while you stand on it. Are they scared? Does Ring Beamer have feelings? Is that skull marking its actual face?

That being said, by the time Super Mario Odyssey came out, "fire" and "being safe to stand on" were out of fashion again, because Pulse Beam brought back the lasers and spikes! Or rather, laser and spike. Pulse Beam thinks having more than one spike is excessive.

Pulse Beam also values its personal space, and as long as you don't disturb it, it won't disturb you. Pulse Beams will only start shooting lasers when hit by Cappy, so leave them be, and they'll leave you be! That being said, their lasers can clear out other small enemies, so it might be good to activate them if you're getting overwhelmed...

But be careful! Pulse Beams tend to activate other Pulse Beams, so once one goes off, you'll probably have to deal with a few. Time your jumps well, and you should be A-OK.

But hold on, what if I were to tell you that the Ring Beamer family wasn't restricted to the Mario franchise...?

Happy Tunky Tuesday, because thinking so much about circular laser beams you gotta hop over reminded me of the Wave Breaker from Splatoon 3! This special weapon uses basically the same attack pattern, releasing circular shockwaves you need to jump over to avoid getting damaged, and since this is a competitive shooter, getting hit by the Wave Breaker also puts a target on your back, letting everyone on the enemy team know your exact location! Imagine, getting doxxed by a cup and ball toy. Those Splatoons have it rough.

Clearly the Splatoon 3 developers fell in love with this mechanic, because it shows up even in other game modes, with DJ Octavio's boss fight, the Amped Octostamp, and the Big Shot from Salmon Run using the exact same shockwave mechanics. The sheer scope of Ring Burner's influence can not be understated!

It's weird that talking about a Funny Spring Laser Enemy from Super Mario Galaxy eventually led me to talking about a different franchise in a different genre, but it's apparent Nintendo has fallen in love with this sort of obstacle. Gosh, Nintendo, if you love Circular Laser Beams You Need To Jump Over so much, why don't you marry them?

...I can be Spring Vault/Ring Beamer/Ring Burner/Wave Breaker/the rest's bridesmaid if they need one! I promise!

[foxcreekfarminc]

Mini Goldendoodle Breeders

Fox Creek Farm is the top Mini Goldendoodle Breeders in Berkeley Springs, USA. We specialize in breeding both F1 and F1B Miniature Goldendoodles.

[marioalmanac]

Spiky Topman, Spring Topman & Topmini (Super Mario Galaxy 1 & 2)

Here I combine the three regular Topmen variants along with their iconic Topman Tribe flying saucer.

[linkandorf]

A couple sketches of some Super Mario Galaxy enemies! (Blue Lava Bubble, Micro Goomba, Pokey Sprout, Topmini, and Octoguy if ya want specifics)

[weirdmarioenemies]

We haven’t talked about the Topmen yet?!?

Okay, I know my priorities have gotten seriously skewed, I could probably fill a whole week with posts on “enemies I’ve said we should cover in the future,” but as soon as I realized we did not have a post on the Topmen, I realized. I must right the wrong in this world. A Weird Mario Enemies post on ALL the Topmen is in order, and that is what you are going to enjoy today. All of this is below the cut, since this will probably be a long one!

Name: Spiky Topman

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

Starting off the bunch is the classic, Spiky Topman! There’s no regular “Topman,” I’m afraid, Spiky is as default as you get! So playing Super Mario Galaxy, as Mario “Jumpman” Mario, your first instinct might be to jump on enemies. But with Spiky Topman, that is a terrible idea, since I mean. Come on. I think we’ve established what happens when you jump on spikes in a Mario game! You lose health, which is very unepic!

Fortunately, Super Mario Galaxy also features an alternate way to defeat enemies, which is by spinning! Shake that Wiimote back and forth, and you will twirl around, knocking back any enemies in your way! But Topmen are also defensive, meaning that even just twirling into them will just knock them back for a second! My goodness, are Topmen truly just an invincible enemy?

Well, they would be! But apparently they also aren’t very smart! The entire Topman Tribe’s battle strategy is apparently building their bases around electric wiring or on flat platforms with holes in them, which can both be used to kill them easily. Knock a Spiky Topman in the right direction with a good ol’ spin, and BLAMMO! They’ll be either knocked into the void or just fried to death.

Spiky Topmen also appeared in Mario Kart Wii’s online tournaments, where you’d defeat them by bumping them off the edge with Triple Mushrooms! Unfortunately, this mode ended long ago, so this unique appearance of the Topmen has been unfortunately lost to time... I hope they can do this again in the future! I think Topmen would be a fun enemy with the anti-gravity mechanic! Let Topman drive a go-kart! 

Name: Spring Topman

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

And then there’s the Spring Topman! This Topman has no spike, which means that you can jump on it! But between its head and body is a large spring, enough to propel Mario high up in the air! You think you know what a jump is? Well, you’ve never jumped on a Spring Topman, then!

Spring Topman actually hardly counts as an “enemy” at all, since on its own, it can’t really hurt you. If it bumps into you, it just knocks you back a little bit! Maybe if there’s other obstacles nearby, it can bump you into those, but that’s not really Spring Topman’s fault! That’s just you being a little too reckless!

The main purpose for Spring Topman is good ol’ platforming challenges! You need to lure them to the right place, and jump on them at the right moment to get the necessary verticality you need in a level! Ultimately, if you mess up, though, don’t worry, after a few seconds, the spring will reset, and they’ll be right back to their old strategies!

Name: Topmini

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

I actually don’t know why I’m listing the debut of these enemies, since they’re all from Super Mario Galaxy, but I’ve gone 3/4 now so it’s best I don’t give up at this point. Topmini is just a little baby, but be warned, because sometimes, the babier an enemy is, the more dangerous it can be...

Or at least the more irritating it can be! Topmini spawns in small groups, all of which will come charging after you. While probably the least dangerous Topmen on their own, due to their easy method of defeat and lack of ability to deal damage, they can easily mess with you if you aren’t careful! They can also push you right into an obstacle, and since that’s also just you being reckless, they won’t be liable for your death! You don’t want that!

But you can just spin and they will instantly die, so I guess that makes them a LITTLE less of a nuisance.

Name: Topmaniac

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

And here we have the head honcho at the top of the Topman Tribe, Topmaniac himself! So. You’re playing the Battlerock Galaxy, and you see every other Topman in the game. It’s boss time. The devs surely made a nice effort to have this guy just be a stronger version of the average Topman, right? Where you can only defeat it by spinning it, and jumping on top probably isn’t a great idea?

Nope! Topmaniac’s battle strategy is the exact OPPOSITE of the average Topman! He’s got spikes on the sides, so trying to attack him from there is probably a really bad idea. That being said, he has a big red button on his head. I wonder where you should jump! C’mon, Mario “Jumpman” Mario! You know what you gotta do! It’s time for that pounce!

After you jump on this guy’s head, then the spikes retract and you can defeat him like a regular Topman, but be careful, as if you aren’t fast enough, they’ll extend once again! That being said, Topmaniac isn’t very smart. I feel he should realize electric wiring shouldn’t be all around his arena, since that’s the only thing that kills him. He could just tear Mario to shreds with his spikes and call it a day, but he installs fences for what reason? Is it because it looks cool, Topmaniac?

I swear, these bosses sometimes could hire an architect to help out with their battle arenas...