#top 10 worst things ive ever drawn

[onionninjasstuff]

[spuddypotat]

*bill wurtz voice* i just did a bad thing (i regret the thing i did)

[havin-a-wee]

Stars Align

pairing: harry styles x y/n

warnings: fluff, ig you could consider it angst but its really just mysterious

word count: 2k

hello! i apologize for kind of disappearing, my fic rec account has kind of blown up and ive been super busy with that.

this is my entry for @sweetlygolden 's Harry On Holiday Challenge! i chose strangers in the same city, and the line prompt “That is the worst sunburn I’ve ever seen.” i honestly already have a part 2 planned out but we'll see how it goes!

“How much longer are you going to stare at that pretending like it’s interesting.”

Her soft voice surprised him, and he whipped his head around to see who had been speaking to him.

For the first time in a while, Harry was able to get away for a little. Of course, he travels a lot for work, but this was the first vacation since he can remember where he was alone, doing whatever he pleases. He chose Italy for this special occasion, because it’s always been one of his favorite places, and he missed the freedom of wandering around the boot shaped country without a care in the world.

The day's adventures had brought him to La Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Moderna e Contemporanea, which is a museum that he's been wanting to see for quite some time. He started the day off by getting a cappuccino and a crespelle from a wonderful little cafe down the street from his hotel.

Right afterwards he walked to the museum, taking in the sights around him on the 20 minute trek to his destination. Before the woman behind him snatched his attention, he was staring at a painting of an abstract house. The house was only painted in blue, and the artist had used the different shades and tones of the color to create the details in the painting.

He had been staring at it for a good amount of time, which he assumed is what prompted the stranger to talk to him.

It’s his 3rd day on the trip, leaving him 4 more until he has to be back in L.A. for work. He has no plans, no schedules, no job to do. It’s just him and the world. At least, that’s what he assumed it would be. The vacation is supposed to be a solo one, however, he’s currently staring at a stranger that decided to speak to him. And for some reason, he is drawn to her. Compelled to spend time with her after just a simple sentence was spoken between the two of them.

When he fully turns around she jumped, a bit startled by his bright red complexion. “That is the worst sunburn I have ever seen!”

It was true, Harry had managed to get himself a nasty burn on the first day in Italy. He usually tans instead of getting a sunburn, but when you’re used to the dreary weather of the UK, it can be hard to forget how strong the sun is in other places.

So he had laid out on the beach and fell asleep, waking up a few hours later with tomato red skin and a burning sensation covering the exposed skin.

“That’s what happens when y’fall asleep on a beach in Rome,” he chuckled, smiling awkwardly at the woman before him.

She’s beautiful, there is absolutely no denying that. She was wearing a simple spaghetti-strap black dress that cut off right at the knee. There were no designs, no embellishments, just a black dress that hugged her figure perfectly. Her lips have a deep red lipstick smeared across them, and he couldn’t help but notice how the color complimented her skin tone. Her simple black pumps completed the outfit, and her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, with a few of the front strands falling out of the hair tie and framing her face.

“I’d assume so.” Her demeanor is serious, even though there's a smile on her face. She’s…..intimidating?

Harry hasn’t been intimidated by anything since he was a teenager. Once you perform in front of thousands of screaming people, who also happen to idolize you, things don’t tend to phase a person anymore.

But for some reason, her presence caused butterflies to fly around in his stomach, a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time. He actually enjoyed the feeling, it reminded him of when everything was normal.

What also reminded him of normality was the fact that she seems to not have the slightest clue of who he is. If she does, she’s sure as hell good at hiding it.

“You’ve been looking at the same painting for 10 minutes, just wanted to make sure you hadn’t fallen asleep.” A small laugh escaped her lips, and the noise agitated the fluttering butterflies residing in his tummy. Her voice is mesmerizing, and she sounds like what Harry imagines an angel to sound like. She has an American accent, and it eased his nerves slightly that she was also a tourist.

He turned back to the painting to look at it, but it was also convenient in that she wouldn’t be able to see his undoubtedly flushed cheeks.

“Yeah m’not sure what it is ‘bout it but there’s somethin’ special with this one.”

“That’s Prismi lunari by Fortunato Depero, he was very talented.” Harry spun around once again to face her, shocked at her knowledge of the random artwork.

“You know that off of the top of your head?” He tilts his head and looks at her, furrowing his brows in confusion. He’s pretty sure there was no label for the painting, and if there was it was way too small for her to see from where she’s standing.

“I know a lot of things.”

The statement was simple, but Harry wondered if her words paired with the smirk on her face are code for something else. “How long have you been here?” Her question snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up at her and smiled. He flicks his wrist and directs his attention to it, reading the Gucci watch adorning his wrist.

“Well I got here at 11, so about 5 hours.” It honestly surprised him when he realized it was 4 o’clock, but he knows how wrapped up he gets in artwork so he must have lost track of time.

“Jesus christ! I can barely stand to walk around a museum for an hour!” She blows out a puff of air, mocking being out of breath. They both laugh at her comment, Harry laughing a bit harder than her. “What’s your name?”

“Oh! M’Harry, s’nice to meet you.” He stuck out his ring-clad hand, and her delicate fingers wrapped around his as she shook it.

“Well Harry, wanna get out of here and walk around with someone who knows the city?” She points at herself, and the small smile she gave him earlier transformed into a silly grin.

“Well m’not sure how well an American can know the city, but I’ll bite.” Usually he would never do this. Going off with strangers is never a good idea, especially because of his status. But there’s something about the girl that makes Harry feel safe. They had just met yet he feels like he could trust her with things he hasn’t even told his best friends.

“An American who’s been living here for a year, that is.” His eyebrows raise slightly, intrigued by her new admission. But before he can even open his mouth to speak, she grabs his wrist with her daintily manicured hand and whisks him out of the quiet museum.

The air was humid, quickly drawing beads of sweat from his forehead. He’s also quite baffled at how she was completely unphased. Not a single drop of sweat was dripping on her body, her soft skin untouched like an old porcelain doll, preserved for years in perfect condition.

“I’ll show you around a little, we can go to this wonderful little vintage store I know.” She had turned to face him, her hand moving from his wrist to cup his one hand in both of hers. “Um- at least, if you want to.” For the first time, she was nervous. Although she will never admit it, Harry makes her extremely nervous. Extremely.

When he turned around when they first met, her jump of surprise wasn’t just because of his bright sunburn. In fact, it wasn’t about that at all. It was about how fucking attractive he is. He really looks like one of the statues that was put up in the museum. His sparkling green eyes send a shiver down her spine, and the tattoos peaking through his thin white t-shirt cause a fire to build in her stomach.

Having someone to talk too while he traversed the streets of Rome is a lot more enjoyable than Harry had anticipated. He purposefully told all of his friends that he was going to be MIA while on this trip. But the fact that she is a stranger changes it in some way, in a good way.

The cobblestone streets are surprisingly smooth, and they walk next to each other in a comfortable silence for a long amount of time. The silence would only break when she would point out something in their field of vision. At one point, Harry pauses, standing still in the middle of the street with a thinking look on his face. He realizes that he doesn’t know her name, which seems ridiculous to him because they were walking around a foreign country like the best of friends. She turns to him, matching his confused look when they lock eyes. “I just realized I don’t know y’name.”

Instead of reacting like he would expect one to react when asked that question, her pupils dilated and for some reason she appears to be scared. Why would someone be scared when you ask for their name?

‘Maybe she thinks her name is embarrassing’ Harry thought, still looking at her with a confused look, but now it was laced with a bit of suspicion.

He watches her sigh, and her hand went up to her ponytail and pulled the black elastic out, her soft hair cascading down her shoulders. With another sigh she said, “Y/N. My names Y/N.”

“That’s a really beautiful name.”

“Oh! There’s the store!”

He found it odd that she was so eager to switch the subject, but goes along with it nonetheless.

The vintage store is lovely, and Harry was able to find a beautiful ring and necklace set, matching gold roses on both of them. They looked around the shop for about 15 minutes, Harry being the only one to make a purchase.

The sun had set by the time they went outside, which isn’t surprising considering that it was almost dark when they walked into the little shop. They stood, facing each other outside of this small little shop in Rome. Two strangers, who just happened to cross each other's path. Harry knows this won’t last forever, and he also knows that he wants to see her again. In a leap of faith, he pulls the gold necklace out of the small brown bag and looks up at her.

“Here, I got them so we could match.” It was bold, but Harry feels connected to this girl, and he doesn’t know it, but she feels the exact same. The smile she gave him when he handed her the necklace was bright and genuine, the creases next to her eyes proving its authenticity. He motioned for her to turn around, wrapping the necklace around her neck and clasping it while she held up her hair.

“Thank you Harry. This is the best day I’ve had in a while.”

“Likewise.”

“I hate to do this, but I have to go. Have a wonderful rest of your trip Harry.”

It was then that she placed a small, tender peck on his lips, barely lingering for a second before pulling away.

“Wait! Can I get y’number?” Her smile slanted into a smirk, and she pulled a small card and a pen out of her small black clutch. She placed the card up against the brick wall, leaning it against it and scribbling something down on the paper. When she finished writing, she pressed her lips against the card, handing it to Harry.

He looked down at it, expecting to see a series of numbers, but he was met with a simple note, scribbled on the piece of cardstock next to the red lip print she had left.

May the stars align in our favor once again. - Y/N

He looked up frantically, planning to ask her to write her number down as well, but he was met with nothing.

She had disappeared into the night, leaving as quickly as she appeared earlier that day.

[winterscaptain]

fear itself.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: part two of the 100 arc! this installment covers the events of faceless, nameless. i am living for the feedback! please keep it coming. i can’t wait to hear what you think as we go through this (very emotionally wrought) section.

an ajf fic arc that happily stands on its own! one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

words: 4.5k warnings: canon-typical violence, language, hospital setting

summary: four hours of sleep and aaron’s missing. what else could go wrong?

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

4:02am “Just got home, so I’m calling like you asked. Shoot me a text when you get back to the apartment, if you aren’t already asleep. Call me when you’re up and we can work on that Nebraska consult, maybe in the early afternoon? Goodnight. Sleep well.”

8:13am “Hey, it’s me. I know I’m not supposed to be worried about you, but we were called in a half hour ago and you’re still not here...so...give me a call when you get this. Bye.”

8:48am “Hey, it’s me, checking in again. You’re probably still asleep, but I’ve never known you to sleep more than seven hours...so if I don’t hear from you by eleven I’ll drag you out of bed myself.”

9:51am “We’re headed to the crime scene. Garcia’s sent you the address. I know JJ’s been calling you too, so just...I dunno? Call us back? Bye.”

10:20am “If you’re getting these and ignoring me, I hope you know you’re taking years off my life right now.”

11:08am “Um...Call me back. I’m starting to worry. Well...not starting. I’ve been worried. But I’m getting...really worried.” 

11:37am “Aaron please call me and let me know you’re alright. You’re scaring me.”

+++

Needless to say, it’s been a weird day. Why you expected anything else after that wretched Canada case and four hours of sleep, you have no idea. 

You had a horrible dream last night, on top of everything else. The image of Aaron broken and bleeding beside you hadn’t left your mind since it first appeared in Foyet’s kitchen. You tried to shake it off every time, but it was persistent. 

We’ll worry about that later. 

You check the time again, trying to ignore the weird feeling in your gut. 

Where is he? 

Your phone rings and your heart leaps. Guilt (and a little bit of embarrassment) pricks at you when you’re disappointed to see Emily’s name on your phone. You answer. 

“You have to get down here.” Her voice isn’t frantic, per se, but the urgency is undeniable. 

“What’s going on?” 

She takes a breath. “I just got off the phone with Garcia - I have crime scene techs and SWAT on the way to Hotch’s apartment, and I need you here.” 

All the blood in your body seems to rush into your head, and you lean heavily on the nearest object - the dining room table. “What?”

“I - I don’t know. All his stuff is here and there's -” She stutters for a second. “There’s blood on the carpet, broken glass, and a bullet hole in the wall by the kitchen. No Hotch.” 

An eerie kind of calm washes over you, and you straighten, making eye contact with Derek. “Okay. Let me just -”

Derek gets a call, but keeps his eyes on you. “What’s goin’ on, Baby Girl?...What do you mean ‘Emily just called SWAT to Hotch’s apartment’ what -“

You break his gaze as he nods at you and turns to the rest of the team. “Emily, I’ll be right there. Don’t go anywhere.” 

+++

You make it to the hospital with Emily. You flash your credentials and it gets you exactly where you want to go. 

When you see him, your breath catches. He looks awful - drawn and small and wrapped in what seems like miles of gauze. Emily grabs your arm, but you’re not sure if it's for her benefit or yours. 

This is, after all, your worst nightmare come to life. A little chill crawls up your spine. This whole thing has you feeling six different kinds of scared. 

The nurse lets you into his room, telling you he’ll be out for another hour, at least. “He needs the rest.”

Emily leaves you to retrieve coffee. You take the opportunity to sit beside him and slide your hand under his, careful not to disturb the IV. Your hand shakes - whether from anxiety, fear, fury, or all of the above, you’re not sure. 

“If you die, Aaron Hotchner, I’ll kill you.”

You hear a little laugh from the doorway and you pull your hand from him. Emily shakes her head, two cups of coffee in her hands. “You’re fine. I'm not going to tattle.”

You squint. “Tattle?”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re so clueless it’s almost cute, but he’s worse.” She throws her head toward Hotch with a fond smile, handing you your cup of coffee.

+++

The rest of the team arrives in a flurry a little while later, and the nurse has to warn them off as Aaron starts to wake. 

They quiet down, surrounding his bedside. You haven’t moved, making it your mission to keep your eyes on him at all times. 

His eyes flutter before closing again. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” you say, keeping your voice quiet and steady despite the tightness in your chest. 

“How did I get here?”

Derek gets that one. “Foyet drove you.” 

Aaron takes a breath. It’s shaky, and you imagine he’s in a lot of pain. Emily leans forward, looking for his eyes. “Can you remember what happened?”

He tells you, slowly, about how Foyet broke into the apartment, waited until he was home with his guard down, fired a shot, and then...He trails off. A heavy breath leaves him. “What did he take?”

You have an answer. “There was a page missing from your day planner, the Bs from the address section.” 

He closes his eyes and his breath grows faster, his heart rate increasing. After a moment, he collects himself and asks Emily, “What did he leave?”

“I don’t know.” 

“He also leaves something with his victims.”

Emily shakes her head. “I looked through your entire apartment. Nothing felt out of place.”

“Where are my clothes?”

“Right here.” You reach over, grabbing the bag and removing his bloody shirt with only the barest moment of hesitation. He reaches for the envelope of his personal effects and you press it into his hand, saving him the effort. 

Tears prick at your eyes as you watch his hands shake, opening his wallet. He’s eerily quiet, and you catch a glimpse of a photo, tucked into the fold. 

Haley and Jack. There’s blood on it. You recognize it from the desk in his home office space. 

No. 

Aaron’s come to the same conclusion, falling back on the pillows with a look you can only describe as defeated. It scares you. You swallow, pushing your tears back. 

That’s the last thing he needs right now. 

“Haley’s maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the Bs in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands.” Your hand, like JJ’s, has fallen over your mouth. 

Oh. 

Of course. 

Of course, he keeps her under Brooks. All he wants to do is keep her safe. 

You hope, one day, that someone will love you that much, will want to protect you with the same ferocity, will think of you before anything else. 

You could only be so lucky. 

He swallows and continues. “He knows where they live.”

Derek makes assignments. You’re to stay right where you are, while the rest focus on locating Haley and Jack. 

When it’s just the two of you, he closes his eyes again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if -”

“They’ll find her. They’ll find Jack. They’ll be safe.”

You have to believe it, too. They’re too important to you, to central to your life, now 

He shakes his head, his eyes cracking open. “Why didn’t I just take the deal?” Clearing his throat, he continues, his voice a little stronger, but still rough. “He told me I should have. I never thought -” He cuts himself off.

You hand him a cup of water, and he takes it gratefully. Idly, you note he hasn’t looked you in the eye yet. 

“Do you want an answer to your question?”

He doesn’t answer you, looking across the room. 

You lean into his eye line. “You didn’t take the deal because you have the most integrity of anyone I’ve ever known. Anything he does is on him. It’s not on you.” 

“But,” his voice breaks and the smallest of tears falls out of his eye. It tracks down his temple until you gently wipe it away with your thumb. “But I could have stopped all of this.” 

“No,” you whisper. Your hand lingers on the side of his face. “No. He’ll be this way wherever he goes. The only way you change that is by catching him, Hotch.” 

He finally looks at you, his brown eyes exhausted, hurting, and bloodshot. You card your fingers through the hair at his temple, putting the oxygen cannula back over his ear. Soon, he closes his eyes again, his vitals evening out as he falls asleep. 

“We’ll get him, Aaron.”

A few tense minutes later, your phone buzzes in your pocket. When you see the caller ID, a shot of adrenaline zings around your body. “Haley?”

Your name is a sigh of relief in her mouth. “SWAT scared the hell out of me and I just - I don’t know.”

“Oh, Haley I’m so sorry. I should have gone over there with the team but -“ Derek knew my stress wouldn’t be useful. 

“No, no. It’s fine. They’re getting Jack from a friend’s house, but they told me what’s going on. I’ll see you when I get to the hospital. I just -“ She laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I just freaked out.��

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Your heart pulls. “I love you, too.” 

She hangs up, and you stuff your phone back in your pocket. 

Aaron wakes again when you pull a case file from your bag, but you’re not sure it’s your doing.

Shit. 

He looks around a little frantically for a moment, still disoriented. You rise and cross the room, finding one of his hands. 

“Hotch, it’s okay. You’re still in the hospital.” 

“Haley?”

You nod. “They got her. She’s safe and she’s on her way with Jack.” 

He finally relaxes, sinking back down into the pillows. “Thank you.”

You nod and resume your place on the other side of the room, patting the back of his hand as you let him go. He’s quiet, if not a little fidgety. You look at him for a minute. He takes a talking breath. 

“After the first one, it kind of goes blank.” His breath is still a little unsteady, and you take your chair next to his bed again. “There were nine, apparently.” 

Your breath catches. It’s not new information, but it’s still raw, sharp-edged. 

Awful.

He swallows. “He taunted me.” His eyes beg you to understand, to keep him from flying off the rails. 

“He’s a bastard, Aaron.”

He levels you with a withering stare. No shit. 

“I know you know that, but it’s worth repeating.”

“I don’t want -“

You interrupt him, knowing exactly where he’s going. “You’re not going to become a victim. You aren’t a victim.”

“I don’t want Haley to -“ 

You press a hand to his arm, mindful of his bandages. “One day at a time. They’re safe today.”

His lip quivers and his voice leaves him in a whisper. “That’s not good enough.”

+++

Eventually, Haley arrives looking a little worse for wear. 

Her haircut’s really cute. 

The thought almost makes you laugh. 

Of all the things to notice...

You startle a little as you remember where you are and rise, ready to give them space. She waves you off, giving you permission to stay. 

“How do you feel?” She asks. 

Aaron sits up a little more, not without effort, and says, “I’m gonna be okay.” 

That’s not what she asked, stupid. 

He continues. “Did they explain to you what’s happening?”

She nods. “They said the marshal's service is taking us straight from here and putting us into protective custody.” Her eyes meet yours, and you dip your chin. She’s right. 

Aaron apologizes to Haley for the first of what you imagine will be many times. 

Her lower lip disappears between her teeth. “Do you know where they’re gonna take us?”

“No,” you answer. “We don’t. And that’s the point.” 

“I can’t know where you’re going,” Aaron adds. “If you have any contact with anyone, he can track you.”

That shocks her a little, and you can see she’s getting upset. “Jack has school. He has friends. I have a job now. I have -” She cuts herself off. 

“I know.” He levels a steady, solemn gaze upon her. “And I’m sorry. We will catch him and you’ll come back.”

She looks at you again. “Are you sure we’re in danger?” 

You nod, almost imperceptibly, and Hotch answers. “Yes.” 

“And what about you? Are you gonna be safe?”

There it is. 

She does love him. 

You knew that, of course. Seeing them together during visits at home or out to dinner or otherwise in the presence of that other, that was never in question.

Your heart tugs. 

Twenty-five years... 

“He wants to see me suffer. Knowing that my son is out there and that I can’t see him is better than killing me.”

Haley wets her lips and swallows. 

That’s her tell. 

You figure she’ll burst into tears pretty soon. It was only a matter of time, and you don’t blame her in the least. You’ve had tears threatening you all afternoon, and this wasn’t even happening to you. 

“Jack wants to see you.”

Aaron’s jaw gets a little tight. “I want to see him, too. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

You hear what he can’t say, too. I don’t want to scare him. I don’t want him to see me like this. 

“Look,” she says, exasperated. “I know you’re trying to protect him, but you both need this. Please.”

He nods, resigned. “Okay.”

Haley looks over and offers you a shaky smile, trying to break the tension. “He also asked me if you’d be here. He’ll be thrilled.” 

That almost does you in. “So will I,” you tell her, meaning every syllable. 

With another brisk nod and wipe of her face, she leaves the room to retrieve Jack. Aaron sits up a little straighter and you help him. He tries to suppress his wince, but fails. 

“Do you need another round?” 

He shakes his head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just let me know.” You settle back into the corner, the case file in your lap. 

Haley and Jack return, and she brings him to Aaron’s side, lifting him up onto the bed. 

Aaron meets his eyes and tells him that he’s okay, giving him a little preparing for what’s about to happen. “But, what do I tell you whenever I go away?”

“That you love me.” 

You hide your face, looking out the window as tears finally fall from your eyes. Haley’s eyes are on you and you know it. You wipe at your face and take a quiet breath before turning back, pretending to pay attention to the case in your lap. 

In your periphery, you can see Aaron looking over Jack’s face as if to memorize it, as if he doesn’t already know every plane, every curve, every angle of his son’s face. “More than anything in the world.” 

They exchange a few more words before he brings him close and kisses his forehead. You glance up, and they look so alike in their profiles it almost makes you smile. Haley’s crying, too, and she meets your eyes. 

Something passes between you, but you don’t have a name for it. 

You don’t need one. 

Haley takes a breath and tucks her hair behind her ears. She redirects Jack’s attention to you, and his eyes light up. She helps him scramble off the bed and he books it around the bed to you. 

You close the case file and open your arms to him. “Hi, bud.” It’s hard not to scare him with the feverish way you hold him close, your fingers wound in his hair. 

There’s a failed attempt to avoid thinking about the uncertainty of the future, when you’ll see him again. 

If ever.

Stop. 

The pair of you lean back for a minute, and you brush his hair away from his forehead. 

“Are you going away, too?” He asks. 

You shake your head. “I’m gonna stay here with your dad.” 

“Are you going to keep my dad safe? I’m going to keep Mom safe.”

It’s Aaron who looks away this time. 

“Of course, my love.” You offer him something you hope looks like a smile. “We always keep each other safe. We’re a team, like you and your momma. I’m so proud of you.” You check in with Haley, who’s looking away, the back of her hand swiping at her cheek. When she turns back to you, you tilt your head a little. 

Want a minute? 

She nods. 

You stand, Jack still tucked against your chest. “I think,” you say, as he sits back in your arms, “Miss Emily and Miss JJ are back and might have something fun for you over there.” You tip your head toward the waiting room. “Wanna go see?”

He nods, leaning back into you and playing with your collar. You pat Aaron’s knee and squeeze Haley’s shoulder with your free hand as you pass. 

Aaron watches you go, your low murmuring comforts to Jack lost in the ambient hospital noise. When you find JJ and look back, giving him a small (if not a little watery) smile, he looks over at Haley, guilt closing up his throat. 

“I’m so sorry, Haley. I promise, when this is all over, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” 

She gives him a half-smile and sits on the edge of his bed. She reaches for him, and he takes both of her hands in his. There’s silence for a moment as they sit together. She studies him. 

While it doesn’t bother him (she has been looking at him for nearly twenty-five years, after all), he does feel more exposed under her gaze than he’s used to. 

“You should do something about that, one of these days,” she says, looking over her shoulder. You’re still visible in the window, talking to JJ while Jack is still glued to you. His little arms are tight around your neck, his head tucked under your chin.

Aaron’s brow furrows, but the EKG picks up the increase in his heart rate, much to his embarrassment. “What are you talking about?”

Haley laughs, a light, watery, delicate thing, and turns back to him. It almost brings a smile to his face. “Do you think I don’t know what you look like when you’re head over heels, Aaron Hotchner? After eighteen years of marriage and twenty-five years knowing you? Give me a break.”

His jaw grows tight, but he holds her gaze. 

“You used to look at me like that, you know.” A little smile plays at her lips and she looks down, almost shy. “Still do, sometimes.” 

“I love you, Haley.” 

She squeezes his hand. “I know you do.” A sigh leaves her and she looks over her shoulder again, just catching a glimpse of you and JJ out in the hall with Jack as you go scavenging for something sweet. There’s a little smile at the corner of her mouth when she turns back to him. “You are so loved, Aaron.” 

“I don't…” He huffs, frustrated. “I don’t feel -”

“I’m not saying you have to do anything, but it might do you some good to just…” She sighs, throwing a hand up in a kind of searching gesture. “I don’t know, be honest with yourself. Think for a minute.” 

His teeth worry the inside of his lower lip as he thinks about it. He does care about you. But love? 

He thinks of the way his chest feels too small whenever you laugh, the way he always goes above and beyond to make sure you’re safe in the field, how he looks for you when you’re out of the room, how he looks for you when you’re in the room. 

The way you are with Jack brings him to his knees every time. The sound of his son’s laughter under your tickling fingers never fails to bring a smile to his face. 

You’ve helped him heal what seemed like an insurmountable chasm between him and Haley, and though it’s not perfect, it’s better than it would ever be without you. 

You always take a second to straighten his tie and ensure his suit jacket lays flat across his shoulders before leaving the plane, just like he always takes time to count the rounds in your magazines or tuck your tag back into your shirt collar. 

He always feels so warm under your fond and attentive touch. With a little bit of alarm, he hopes you feel the same under his. Safe. Cared-for. 

Loved. 

Oh. 

Oh no.

He knows the realization is clear on his face when Haley laughs again, surprising them both. She swipes at her eyes again, clearing any remaining tears. “You know, I can’t say I’m surprised you didn’t know, but it’s still funny, even with all this.” She shakes her head. “You haven’t changed much, have you?”

His face breaks out into a little smile as he looks back at her. “Oh, quit.” 

“I’ll never quit giving you hell, as long as we live.” Haley reaches out, pushing gently against his shoulder. He takes the shove like a champ, even through the ache in his chest and abdomen, thankful she’s not treating him like he’s made of glass. 

“Don’t I know it.” 

They look at each other for a minute before Aaron sobers, the mirth evaporating between them. He already misses her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all of this. I’m hoping it’ll be...temporary.” 

“I do have a life, Aaron. And Jack…” She sighs and her eyes fill with tears again. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I wish there was another way to keep you safe, but -” He cuts himself off, knowing there’s nothing he can say. 

She swallows again. She already misses him. “How am I supposed to keep him safe when there’s nobody I know to help me?”

He sighs, but speaks with conviction. “Haley, you’re strong. You lived with me in this job and you’ve practically raised Jack all by yourself. You’re a great mother.” 

Haley’s actively crying now, trying to stem the tears with her fingers. It’s not working. After a moment, she collects herself. “Can you catch this man?”

“I will catch this man.”

+++

When she leaves Aaron’s room, you bring Jack to her. You take a moment to lightly fuss over them both. 

Her blue eyes find yours. “Take care of him, please?”

You nod. “I will.” 

“He needs you.” 

She says it with a simple kind of conviction that makes your chest pull. You put a hand on her shoulder, trying to communicate everything you can’t say into your touch. “He needs you more.” 

“No, he doesn’t.” Her lips twist in an odd sort of smile and she wraps you in a hug and kisses your cheek. “I’ll see you soon.” 

You hold her tight, Jack trapped (and whining a little) between you. “See you soon, Hales.” You pull back, looking deeply into her eyes. “We’ll get him.” 

The U.S. Marshals arrive, and you have to let go of each other. You press a kiss to Jack’s forehead and tell him you love him one more time, and wait until they’re in the car and out of sight before you break down. 

You don’t know where he came from, but Derek wraps around you, catching you before your knees hit the ground. You don't know what you’re crying about, really. 

It could be the overwhelming task of catching Foyet.

It could be Hotch in the room down the hall with nine stab wounds to his chest and abdomen. 

It could be the indefinite absence of your dear friend and her son - a boy you love more than anyone except maybe -

Nope. Don’t go there. Not now. 

Sobs wrack your chest, and your head hurts and your throat is sore by the time your body lets you breathe. 

Derek’s there the whole time, rubbing your back and keeping your face hidden in the crook of his neck and shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, kiddo. It’ll be okay. He’s okay. We’re gonna catch this son of a bitch.” 

“It’s just so much, Derek.” 

He sighs. “I know. I know.”

+++

“Did you hear what happened this morning?”

You’re woken by Dave’s voice, coming from the doorway. Cramped and crunched into the corner of an uncomfortable chair, you stretch and what feels like every joint in your body cracks. 

“No.”

When did Aaron wake up? 

You look over at him and he glances at you before returning to Dave, who’s leaning on the door frame. 

“We had a situation. Unsub had already killed two people. Said he was gonna keep killing unless a man used his son as bait.”

“What happened?”

Good question. 

Belatedly, you realize you’ve neglected your case duties all day in favor of holding vigil over Aaron’s bedside. The weirdest part about it? The rest of the team let you. 

Why? 

“We kept the boy safe. Worked the profile. It was a happy ending.” 

That’s good, at least. One fucking happy ending today. 

It’s like Dave’s reading your mind as he asks Aaron, “Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

“Yes.” Aaron’s gaze is impassive, but there are universes behind his eyes. 

“No other group in the world could have pulled off what yours did in a matter of hours.” Dave checks in with you, and the corner of your mouth lifts. 

Sorry. 

He shakes his head just a little. No sweat, kid. You did your job.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Dave, but -”

Dave cuts him off. “We’ll get Foyet.”

“I promised Haley I would get him. But the truth is, if he stops killing we have no way of tracking him. He stopped killing for ten years just for the pleasure of watching Shaunessy’s life fall apart.” 

He’s crying again, and your heart breaks. You’re surprised Dave can’t hear it crack all the way across the room. 

“What’s Jack going to remember about me in ten years?”

No. 

“Hotch, look at me.” You rise from your chair and sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb his position. He turns his head just so, his brown eyes locking onto yours. “We’ll get him. We will get him.”

We have to. 

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @sageellsworth05​ @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds

[mistymark]

VIGILANTE/S IV

part four // 2.8k words // superpowered!au // (sort of) gang!au // series masterlist

summary; in which you consider yourself somewhat of a vigilante.

warnings; swearing, mentions of death, weapons and killing, gang shit really 

notes; this fic is now 10k words and that's a personal record so damn

“I hear training was a success,” Doyoung says when he returns from Jaehyun’s ‘errand’.

You roll your eyes, your jaw set. You don’t look at him, focusing instead on the camera footage Mark had given you to watch. A notepad sat in your lap as you sat cross-legged on your bed, the computer in front of you. The footage was over 12 hours long, showing only a large gate leading to an estate that looked to be the size of a museum. The leader of the Red Crown lived there, you knew, and you were supposed to watch and record who was entering and exiting through the gate during the 12-hour time period.

“I’m being serious.” You finally look over at Doyoung, standing in the doorway, and the expression on his face almost resembles pride. He’s never been anything but serious, but he seems more playful now. “You beat Johnny.”

“He beat me about fifty times,” you deadpan, giving him a pointed look before shifting your attention back to your notepad. Doyoung walks in and looks around the room, as if it’s his first time seeing it – like it would help him understand you.

“What was your time?” He asks, his back to you.

“Fifteen twenty?” The worst fifteen minutes and twenty seconds of your life, probably. He looks at you, and for a moment you can’t read the expression on his face.

He quirks an eyebrow at you, but doesn’t say anything. Briefly turning his attention away from you, he stops to look at the drawings and photos attached to the wall, his face stoic again. He’s looking at the detailed sketches of weapons  – disturbingly realistic, in your opinion – that adorn the wall by the door. The others were strangely anatomical – surprisingly accurate hand-drawn outlines of bodies were pinned against another bare wall. One had a skeleton, another vital organs, and one had the bloodstream mapped out beautifully. Hand-written notes were scribbled across the paper – you’d attempted to read them but the messy scrawl was illegible.

“What’s this?” When he turns around, you hold up one of the leather-bound journals you’d found on the bedside table. It was quite possibly the creepiest thing you’d ever read. One of the entries had just read, January 16th, tried knives again. Sixteen stab wounds. Mostly torso, though heart was avoided. Twelve hours exactly. Another, only two days later, was simply: January 18th, bullet between the eyes (removed). 6.4mm. Four hours.

You’d wondered if the owner was an interrogator like Doyoung – or just a torturer. Part of you was glad you hadn’t had the opportunity to meet him. From what it appeared, none of the others really missed him, either.

Doyoung furrows his eyebrows, “Don’t read that. It’s personal.”

“The guy’s dead.”

You’re unsure if Doyoung hears you, as he chooses to focus on the pictures on the walls once again. Your personal favourite was in the closet, attached to the inside of the door, otherwise hidden from sight. It was a mix of charcoal and red paint, barely resembling a face, but it felt more personal than the ones on the walls, tucked away in the closet where no one would see. It wasn’t nearly as detailed or clear as the other posters, and you had stared at it for almost two minutes before realising what it was.

“The first time Donghyuck fought Johnny, he didn’t even get a time.” Doyoung’s voice sounds far away as he recalls the memory. You wish he hadn’t blocked you from using his powers so that you could see whatever he was remembering.

“What about you?”

“About fifteen seconds.” He snorts at your expression. “Don’t be discouraged.” His attention suddenly moves to the door, and you follow his gaze, though nothing is there. With a nod, he leaves.

You’re left alone again, and you wonder what it is with these boys and never saying goodbye.

You’ve managed to speed up the footage just enough to make your task bearable but have to pause it when a familiar black van enters the shot. It’s identical to the one you’d seen at the Den on the night you met the team, but the number plate is different. This number plate is familiar in a different way. Unlike every other vehicle that had passed through the gates, the driver’s window does not slide down. No ID card is able to be captured.

You know exactly who it is – the only person who can enter the estate without having to show credentials. The Red Prince.

Even though the footage is far too grainy to make out anything in the mirrors, you swear you can see his reflection. Eyes that stare directly into the camera, as if he knows you’re watching. You wonder if he knows he’s being watched, that a group of Supers had managed to hack into his security system.

The gate slides open wide, and the eyes disappear. You shiver.

“Y/n?” You’re shaken from your thoughts when a voice calls you from the other side of your door.

“Come in!”

“Wow,” Mark offers you a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Donghyuck never lets me in his room.”

“Well-,” you shrug, then hesitate. You realise you have no idea what to say to him. At least, you don’t have anything to say that isn’t insensitive. Clearing your throat, you push your notepad to the side, “What’s up?”

“I, uh,” his eyes scan the walls, taking in the inside of the room, “Johnny needs the notes from the security footage by tonight. I thought I’d let you know.”

“Thanks, Mark.” You can feel how tight your smile is, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

He turns to leave, but just as the door’s about to close, he pops his head back inside the room, “Oh, by the way, don’t be worried about training today. Johnny was impressed.” He smiles. “Have a good night, y/n.”

It’s almost midnight by the time you get to the end of the footage. 14 vehicles entering, 10 leaving. And you know the licence plates and drivers of them all.

You feel uncomfortable watching the footage, being right at the gate but unable to enter. Your determination to get in there and take down the Red Crown is strong, frustration bubbling inside you. Everything they’re doing goes against what you believe in, and there’s something about your anger that makes you stand up and head to the kitchen. The walls of Jaehyun’s office are transparent again, and the light is on , even though you know he can’t see you, you freeze when his eyes snap up from his laptop.

It’s weird being unable to hear or see the other team members walking around, and the warehouse feels much emptier without them. Soft snoring makes you jump, and you smile at the sight of Jaemin passed out on a couch nearby, his breaths steady, though slightly too fast. Part of you was surprised by how fast he seemed to live his life, though he had told you he had to consciously slow himself down most of the time. “It’s like letting someone win in a race by running slower than them,” he’d explained. “You know you can go faster and beat them, but you don’t. Like constantly coming second place.”

“Does it get frustrating?” You’d asked.

“Almost unbelievably so,” he’d smiled at you, though you could see some inner turmoil behind his eyes.

When you’re filling a glass with water, Jaehyun steps out of his office, the door closing loudly, snapping you out of your thoughts. His feet are soft on the floor – you almost don’t hear him coming. “Can’t sleep?” He’s reaching for a mug on the shelf behind you, and you sidestep to move out of his way.

“I just needed to clear my head,” you swallow, and quickly take a drink of water as an excuse not to elaborate.

Jaehyun slides the mug under the coffee machine, and watches it whir to life. Only now can you read the words printed on the side, ‘World’s Greatest Boss’. You snort when you see it. He turns his head to look at you, and raises an eyebrow. There’s something different in the way he does it. Normally, when he does this, it’s questioning, analytical, intimidating. Now? You’d say it’s borderline flirtatious. It takes you a second to realise why it seems so different.

He’s standing in front of you, leaning over the counter top, waiting for his coffee – in sweatpants. He’s mindlessly biting the inside of his cheek, and you realise you’ve never noticed he has dimples. Probably because he never smiles.

“What?” He’s frowning slightly, but when he looks like this, it just looks cute. The furrow in his brow almost looks guarded, as if he’s worried you’re about to say something offensive.

“Uh,” you look down, collecting your thoughts, then a smile appears on your face. “Your mug, I-”

He looks down at it, and there’s the ghost of a smile on his face, “The first birthday present Johnny ever got me.”

“It’s…cute,” you say it more like a question than a compliment. A loud thud makes you both stand tall, staring into the darkness to make out any movement. There’s a quiet yawn, and the sound of retreating footsteps. You turn back to Jaehyun, and any emotion he’d displayed in the last two minutes was wiped from his face. His face is hard again, and he looks more like the man you’d seen earlier. He looks older, authoritative. “I’m gonna get some rest. I hear training tomorrow is going to be intense,” you offer him a smile.

His attention has moved from you again, staring into the darkness of the warehouse. He bids you goodnight without looking at you, carrying his coffee gently to his office, his mind somewhere else.

You leave your glass in the sink, promising yourself you’ll wash it in the morning, before making your way back to your room.

You can hear faint murmurs coming from another room, but the walls are so thick you can’t make out any of the words. Moving the laptop from your bed to the set of drawers next to the door, you prepare for bed.

The door suddenly bangs open, and a duffel bag is dropped onto the floor noisily. You gasp in shock and the person in the doorway looks just as surprised to see you. “Who are you?” He asks, frozen right there in the middle of the doorway.

“Y/n. Who-” His eyes are wide and calculating, searching the room.

“Well, what are you doing here, y/n?” He crosses his arms, looking at you skeptically.

“I’m part of the team. I-”

“I meant, what are you doing in my room?”

You’re struggling to keep up with the conversation at this point. You shake your head. “Your room – ? Wait, you’re Donghyuck? You’re dead.”

His gaze is fierce, “I was dead. I’m not anymore. Now, I’m tired. And I’d like to sleep in my own bed.” He walks into the room, rifling through the drawers of the dresser, looking for something.

Reaching out for his power, you can feel it thread through your body, though it’s more painful than invigorating, very different to most of the power you can feel in other Supers. “You’re immortal.”

“Obviously,” he doesn’t even turn around.

A lightbulb goes off in your head as the journals on the bedside table catch your attention, “So the journals – you… you were killing yourself?”

Donghyuck rounds on you, “You read my – ? Okay, you’re clearly new to the team. Rule number one; never read anyone’s journal.” At the confused look on your face, he rolls his eyes, “We all have them. You’ll get yours soon. To track your drawbacks; track your strength.”

You raise an eyebrow at him from where you’re sitting on your – his – bed. “Drawbacks?”

“Damn, okay. Rule number two; know your drawbacks. The limits of your power. We all have them. Jaemin’s is how much he has to eat and sleep. Chenle and Mark lack control.” He gestures to his journals before turning back to the drawers, “As you can see, mine is time. Takes a long time to come back to life.” You barely hear it when he mumbles, “Surprise, surprise.”

“You just kill yourself over and over again?”

“Pretty much.” He finds what he’s looking for but doesn’t take it out from the drawer. He turns to face you again, leaning against the dresser with his arms crossed once again. “What do you do?”

“I mimic other people’s abilities.”

His eyebrows raise slightly and he whistles lowly in appreciation, but he doesn’t say anything. “Drawback?”

“Uh… I guess it’s distance. If they’re too far away, it’s like I can’t reach their power.”

He nods in understanding, then furrows his eyebrows, “Johnny will have you training with all of us, then. Have you done ability training yet?”

You shake your head.

“How long have you been here?”

“One day,” you shrug.

“Wait, you’re the one Doyoung brought in?”

You pause, then nod.

“Ah, Jeno killed me before we could meet, I guess.”

“Jeno killed you?!” Your voice is high and loud. Jeno was much stronger, much faster, much more skilled than you were. You had no chance against him if he ever decided you were his next target. Donghyuck’s eyes widen at the loud noise, and he crosses the room to shut the door, “Shit, calm down. I’m immortal – it’s not like it’s a big deal. Almost everyone here has killed me at least once, though he does hold the record.” The side of his mouth quirks up to the side in a smile that you would almost call cute. Maybe if he wasn’t talking about his friend murdering him, he’d be cute.

You don’t know what to say to that. “You’re insane.” That works.

He shrugs, “Jeno’s always been impatient.”

“So he just kills you. Logical.” The disbelief in your voice makes him laugh.

“Rule number three; never get Jeno angry. His drawback is his anger.”

“Holy shit, where were you when I joined? I could have used some of this information.”

He raises an eyebrow at you, “Well, first of all, I was dead. Then I had to go out of town for a day – and here I am.”

You nod, “Right.”

Donghyuck grabs his bag and turns it upside down onto the top of the bed. You aren’t quite sure what you were expecting to come out, but it certainly wasn’t guns. You wait for something – anything – normal to drop out, yet it seems like it’s just guns. At least fifteen of them, ranging in size. You don’t say anything.

He takes one look at your face and immediately explains, “I just bought them. Our weapons dealer is based in China – Winwin? He’s a friend of Jaehyun’s – and he just got into the city two days ago. Jaehyun made me go pick them up.” Under all the posters and sketches on the wall, the walls are painted a bright red, and the subtle blush on Donghyuck’s face almost matches them completely.

“I didn’t realise there was more of you,” you say.

“Us.” You look up in confusion, and he offers you a smile, “More of us.” He clears his throat, his attention going back to the weapons on the bed, “Yeah, Jaehyun has connections everywhere. Japan, China, you name it.”

Carefully, he places the guns in boxes and stacks them in the corner of his room. He brushes off his hands on his thighs, “Look, I’m happy to take the couch tonight, but don’t get any ideas. This is my room, and I fully intend on taking it back after –“ He cuts himself off with a yawn and you raise an eyebrow at him. Rolling his eyes, he heads for the door, giving you an awkward bow of his head as he closes the door.

You feel a little bad about stealing his room, but you’re so tired, you don’t have enough time to think about it before you’re drifting off to sleep in his bed.

[coolgirl]

Jason expert rate Jason’s designs

sorry for being late i was busy with school but now i’m free so to celebrate. jason indulgence.

pre-crisis not robin

very cute. i like that it has a lil more of flair to it? the collar and the lines on the gloves and the shorter cape.. also love it has pants. king rlly king. wonder if they already knew he was gonna be robin anyways or if they were still considering nightbird. anyways, 8/10 bc its cute

pre & post-crisis robin (bc its basically the same)

i mean its a classic.. however it reminds me jason was the only robin who was simply given dick’s clothes rather than like. have an unique look? which sucks. 7/10 middle child syndrome is REAL

post-crisis robin (winter edition)

OKAY NOW THIS. i absolutely love. is it tacky? oh yes without a doubt. i still love the pants and the sleeves. finally winter clothes for this child, especially considering his new titans scene where he was bitching about the costume not being snow proof. he got what he wanted! 9/10

new 52/rebirth costume by

EPIC. IDC I LOVE IT.the circles on his arms and his boots.. the lines on his legs.. i just love it. i love the red mask too… it feels.. not more unique, but feels more jason-y than the other costume. 10/10

NOW. onto older stuff

hush

as u can see im VERY confusion about the pouches and the straps?? why??? whats the purpose.. generally its fine. the white strand moved a nation and i think the chest piece is cool, but everything else.. uglee. like the long as hell jacket and him looking 40 years old like why r u 19 looking like fifty? ugly white man. 5/10

winicks/utrh version

LITERALLY A CLASSIC. i love this costume sooo much. like jason obviously grew out of it, as in it wouldnt make sense for him anymore to go with something like this as his main costume because i feel like this fit the utrh mood (him not veing a vigilante/hero/villain whatver but trying to be a mob boss n shit) and it just. fucks. i love the helmet just being plain with no stupid mouth or nose shape. i simply love it. 10/10

nigthwing

its just. its just the nightwing costume. didnt even try he just stole that from dick. he still rocks it and looks better than dick, and u gotta give him points for accessorizing with his dagger. 7/10

red robin 

im not. a big fan of this costume.. i think the cowl is ugly, it just does not work for someone as big as jason… however i do like why he took this mantle and what it meant.. 6/10 no words head empty. 

oh brother. furryman

ITS SUCH AN UGLY COSTUME. muzzle batman walked so muzzle red hood could run. its just. ugly like ugly. i dont like the ears or again the muzzle or whatever the hell is going on in the arms.. its just so edgy. 5/10

WANNA KNOW WHAT A SEXY EVIL BATMAN COSTUME LOOK LIKE?

Injustice 2 batman

I2 HAD IT IN THE BAG BABY. i like that its like classic batman costume but again! with some jason touches! the red eyes, the electric tiddies making a comeback.. epic genuinely epic. 10/10

and if ur not into evil jason

100% dad ‘i have my life figured out’ batman jason 

just like the nightwing costume this is just. batman costume. nothing special or different from it so its like did u even try? BUT in this scenario it actually means smth that he stuck to bruces costume.. sweet.. but boring. 7/10

speaking of. evil ugly designs. ugh i hate this.

this motherfucker

ive never. ever. felt as humiliated by a costume than thetime jason wore this. like MORTIFYING RLLY. its DISGUSTINGGG. the helmet shape. the fucking WHITE. the SKULL PLEASE WHO DESIGNED THIS WHO HATES ME IN PARTICULAR SO MUCH??? THIS MAN DOES NOT FUCK! HES UGLY! HE STINKS!!!! the red guns are epic that much i can say. LOOK AT THOSE PANS GOD ITS SO HUMILLIATING. 0/10 WORST COSTUME EVER.

HOWEVER. winick and the artist spun GOLD from it, because next time jason wore possibly my favorite costume to date

this motherfucker…2!

like look how much better it looks with a little of swag.. the helmet without eyes.. the belts.. the fucking leather jacket.. keeping the red guns/gloves.. like seriously i dont know a better man. the skull is still awful and i wouldve replaced the white for black and MWAH best costume. like the black part at the top make it all red and the white make it black.. god this jason fucks massively i love him. 11/10 my favorite by a landslide perhaps

new 52/rebirth red hood

OKAY I KNOW theyre slightly different (rebirth has shorter sleeves and a more padded look) but to me its like. same thing. okay i think its.. fine. its not phenomenal but its not ugly.. i like the brown jacket more than the black jacket i have to admit, its more distinctive and i simply like the color more, however i do not.. like jason having the bat symbol.. but thats also a me thing about how badly written this is. anyways. the helmet with the mouth disgusts me and everytime its drawn like that its humilliating. like. 7/10. maybe 7+. when it has the mouth or like nose ANY FACIAL EXPRESSION RLLY its a 5. 

wingman

oh i absolutely despise that helmet. he looks like fucking. terminator. its the ugliest shape ive ever seen and the visor is.. huge. i dont like the shoulder pads either idk what the fuck its going on with the thing around his neck either.. like hes. knockout batman and i HATEEE IT. damians costume slaps tho. i just… its… ugly. like.. 3/10. 

get damian back arc red hood costume

oh im a HUGE fan of this design.i love how his costume is designed in a way thats like. if jason was a dnd character he absolutely would be a tank. the padding, the red undertones everywhere, i just.. love it. i like how all the costumes were done to reflect their personalities you know.. i like this robin red hood hybrid. 9/10 would even say 10/10 bc i just enjoy how gleason draws jason.

red hood/arsenal costume

its like. i dont hate it completely (i love the way the hood+helmet looks) and thats.. yeah thats pretty much all i like about it. i HATEEEE the vest i hate it fr.i hate how huge the sumbol is and idk this costume just does not spark joy. 5/10

outlaw costume

okay this one. this one drives me insane. because like. okay i dig parts of it. i like the lack of sleeves. i like the gloves thingies. i like the hood. i could get aboard him ditching the helmet - it breaks all the damn time anyways. i like the stripes on his pants in the boots. ALL SEPARATE? NEAT. now i hate. hate. the muzzle. like WHY IT LOOKS SO UGLYYY LIKE SO UGLY like unless the artist GETS IT and is SEXY it looks awful. look at this

AWFUL. also like it made sense for when he was on the run and he had to make do and assemble a costume from what he had but like now hes sponsored by lex, get that man a goddamn new suit already please. anyways. 6/10.. like i said i like many elements from it but its still.. kinda ugly all together and depends A LOT on the artist.

three jokers

im torn on this one.. i think its a bit boring.. i dont rlly like the top part, it reminds me SOO much of that one tt issue where he beat the fuck out of tim while wearing a robin costume like i understad the implications of him wearing a costume thats similar to the robin blouse but im not a big fan.. also i prefer the brown leather jacket. its like not his worst costume by far but not the best.. like pretty basic?  i would say 6/10

NOW SOME AUS.

tiny titans & lil gotham

okay these two are like. pretty much the canon versions of robin and red hood HOWEVER they both have details that are different from the original version and DESERVE a mention. the curls on robin jason and jasons red gloves/belt are ICONIC. whoever designed them knew what they were about, so 10/10 best bapy jason.

arkham knight

does the person who designed this know how much theyve done for the lgbt community? i hope they do. i love.. a lot about this costume. i love the ears, i love how techno it is, i love the layers to it.. im.. not a big fan of the whole military thingy but i have to admit that applying it to the design itself is kind of neat.. i love the colors too and how.. practical it is while being. well. kinda dramatic? the whole bat aesthetic.. yeah. i love it. 9/10

arkham red hood

this one.. when u think about it the outlaw version is VEEERY similar to this one: the pants, the hood, the jacket eve. however i like this helmet so much more, i have a weakness for eyeless (??) helmets.. i like the little details of it as well, i remember that pic going around of it being held together with like. fuckign stitches and bandaids. legendary. i love this look, i would say 9+/10

injustice 2 jason

okay gonna go ahead and say it: not a big fan of the helmet. it looks like.. a bug? the lenses do not spark joy. this bitch has many styles and like toners etc and i will no rate them all. i think its a pretty basic design, not the best but not the worst either. like if it was an exam i would make them pass but make faces at what im reading like eeehhhgh. 7/10.

hag jason

middle one is like literally, on the outside and superficial level, just. his usual costume. the jacket and the grey kevlar and the bat. now the gloves are sexy as hell.. and in the whit ebackground one u can appreciate the under costume better and i really like it?? i just.. like the design. I HATE HOWEVER the bat helmet. WHY IS IT HOLLOW?? BITCH HELLO?? AND THE BATMAN SYMBOL DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! and i like things making sense!!!. we will not talk about jason in this book. like.. 8/10. maybe 9 if im feeling it.

hag jason 2: the hagger and the furious

hes just.. a little old man.. he cannot change this.. i like this design. i like seeing jason grow old. wish it wasnt in this context. my father rlly. 8/10

—-

am i forgetting any jays.. i wont do all animated robins because they all look the same and the one that doesnt i do not like. SO HERES my thoughts..

[theyamwizard]

hi I have no self control so witness as I ramble about things when im not even halfway through the opm manga

first off I LOVE THE BLIZZARD BUNCH. THEYRE FUCKIN ADORABLE. AND I LOVE THEIR LEADER! FUBUKI!! i was so worried she was gonna be Just A Trope like Tornado but she’s actually kinda layered and really neat so far. and she cares so much about her crew!! I’m still annoyed by how much boobage they’re drawing but whatever

secondly THE TANK TOP CREW IS?? KINDA ADORABLE TOO???? its just the little splash pages of them all chillin ok. and how much concern we got from Tank Top Master when Garo went to beat up his crew. Saitama said that Tank Top Master got the worst of the attack according to the news, so considering the Shounen tropes this series is playing with it’s safe to say that Tank Top Master tried to defend his subordinates until he couldn’t move.

and finally SAITAMA VISITING MUMEN RIDER IN THE HOSPITAL!! “I heard about it in the newspaper, I’m glad you’re not dead. have a banana” SAITAMA. IS. SWEET. in his own weird way. and before that Mumen’s like “ah, I’m so happy you came to visit!” LIKE. THEYRE FRIENDS ;;;

and saitama’s complete obliviousness to who the hell anyone is ruining epic moments is a 10/10 gag.

and then when the guy, Tank Top Master, is like “I’ve defeated most enemies so far with One Punch, this guy was different” you can just imagine saitama’s GLINT of RELATE and then hes like “here have a banana” “oh, uh, thanks” “now tell me more”

LIKE. HES NOT GOT THE SERIOUS FACE. BUT YOU KNOW HES LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS NOW. it reminds me of the bit with King (dont even get me started on how much i love king and his relationship with Saitama so far) how he was like “are you so strong that you got bored of fighting?” like SAITAMA PROJECTS SO MUCH MAN. HES JUST. LOOKING FOR SOMEONE LIKE HIM. and so far the only one he’s found that’s like him was Boros, and he didn’t want to relate to that guy because he spent his time destroying entire planets out of boredom. I think Saitama had some Feelings about that guy because of how easy it would be for him to end up the same way.

and a final note, I hate anime fans lmfao. so many dudebros in the comment section like “BLIZZARD IS THICC” or “IM NOT GAY BUT SONIC IS THICC” and like. no. they’re.... literally the skinniest fucks ive ever seen. blizzard is drawn with a twig waist, no hips and no leg meat. sonic is literally a twink. men don’t know what thicc means

[lovebunnie]

Do them all nerd

1. meaning behind my url?

- i like venom and symbrock (veddie) is good

2. a pisture of me

- people get creepy with pics of me (plus u know what i look like already) so have uh this?

i look like this

3. how many tattoos do i have and what do they look like?

- i dont have any (yet) but i really love tattoo culture

4. last time i cried and why

- i was looking at cats that needed to be adopted online and they all are….. so cuuute

5. piercings i have

- i dont have any :p

6. favorite band?

- gorillaz 

7. buggest turn offs

- if you make rude jokes ill immediately be annoyed with you (twitch humor)

8. top 5 (insert item)

- well since u didnt do it ill do top 5.. numbers..

420, 69, 666, 0, 👌

9. tattoos i want

- i want some roses, maybe some song lyrics and some special pieces drawn by the artist because i love artists expressing themselves

10. biggest turn ons

- im babby but also hand holding

11. age?

- im 18

12. ideas of a perfect date

- ive said before that i want my first date to be to a build a bear because thats CUTE we make bears for each other

13. life goal?

- i want to one day give a ted talk

14. piercings i want

- not really what i want but i actually really love gauges and septums because im gay and goth

15. relationship status?

- absolutely not dating anyone and pining over like 5 people

16. favorite movie?

- dead poets society

17. a fact about my life

- i had a half brother i didnt know was a half brother until i was 15 years old lmao

18. phobia?

- throwing up

19. middle name?

- it starts with an ‘m’ but thats all ill say

20. height?

- i havent gotten measured since like 8th grade so last time i checked i was 5 2 but honestly i dont know

21. are u a virgin?

- have u seen me and my content? of course i am

22. whats your shoe size?

- 7.5 or 8 depending on the brand

23. whats your sexual orientation?

- im bisexual :3

24. do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

- no because im not cool enough to get them and also my family is full of addicts so if i start itll most likely kill me

25. someone you miss?

- every single person i met at camp (ian and rivers and connor and jared but theyre the ones i have tumblrs from) i love them dearly and i cant wait until the summer to see them again

26. whats one thing you regret?

- i wish i did more theater because i honestly really enjoy it

27. first celebrity you think of when someone says attractive?

- jake gyllenhaal (followed closely by hugh dancy and megan fox)

28. favorite ice cream?

- turkey hill mint chocolate chip

29. one insecurity?

- my face looks like a pizza i have such nasty skin

30. what my last text message says

- fun fact but if u know me youll know im the absolute worst at responding to messages, i didnt text my grandma back so much my dad threatened to throw my phone in a ‘fucking lake’ (his words) but anyway it was to my friend seb and it said “yeah just me being a pretentious fool as usual” talking about my twitter

31. have you ever taken a picture naked?

- absolutely NOT lmao who would i send it to my english class gc?

32. have you ever painted your room?

- my old room in maryland yeah, we painted it light blue

33. have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

- i havent had my first kiss yet whoops

34. have you ever slept naked?

- HELL NO my cat steps on me in my sleep

35. have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

- literally everyday it makes me really happy and its fun and im not apologizing

36. have you ever had a crush?

- i dont think ive ever not had a crush like deadass

37. have you ever been dumped?

- no ive only really dated one person

38. have you ever stole money from a friend?

- no all my friends are broke like me we suffer together like champs

39. have you ever gotten into a car with people you just met?

- god fucking NEVER all my closest friends live away from me and are gay so none of us can drive (yet. connor is getting there) but yeah no i dont even trust my brother to drive me

40. have you ever been in a fist fight?

- no but id win because my muscles are so huge

41. have you ever snuck out of your house?

- no i live in the middle of no where. i could walk to food loin or burger king if i wanted to but i dont. so no. im asleep at 8:30

42. have you ever had feelings for someone who didnt feel them back?

- literally all the time, i like people who will never like me back

43. have you ever been arrested?

- no im a rule follower

44. have you ever made out with a stranger?

- see question #33

45. have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

- like in secret? no. but as friends? yes.

46. have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

- accidentally yes and when they tell me they were worried i cry in shame

47. have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

- i think back in elementary school i had a crush on a neighbor boy. he was a lax bro and i think liked me back even if i was 2 years older than him

48. have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

- no and actually, last year i had gone the whole time without missing a single day so my mom and i went into the city and i asked to go home to finish homework and my mom called me a nerd :(

49. have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

- that has never come out, no

50. have you ever seen someone die?

- ive been watching our country die for years

okay im only doing half because im literally falling asleep i might finish the other half if u want me to

[kurtwarren54]

My Birth Story with Duke

My birth story with Duke started differently than Otis. With Otis I went into labor on my own and with Duke I was induced 1 week before my due date. Both were equally incredible experiences. I feel these moments are forever embedded into my memory. What a time to be pregnant during a global pandemic because of Covid-19 and also deliver a baby during this time. I will say my experience at the hospital was incredible and we felt 100% cared for and safe. Keep reading below for the story of Duke’s birthday.

Leading up to birth

Let’s rewind back to my 37 week appointment. At this appointment, I had my first cervix check and was at 2cm dilated, 70% effaced, and -2 station. My doctor also discussed with me that she wanted to induce me 1 week early at 39 weeks based on my 2 risk factors being age and IVF. Since I was already dilated and progressing on my own, we both agreed that induction would be a great option since my body was already naturally preparing for birth as well. WILD!! I didn’t think we would be scheduling an induction but I felt comfortable knowing my body was already on its way. At my 38 week appointment, I was at 3cm dilated, 70% effaced and -2 station but with a very engaged head. My dr gently stretched my cervix (not a full membrane sweep) to help get things rolling. I was starting to get excited and nervous at the same time wondering if the baby was going to show up before my induction or not! Otis was 4 days early but I was much more dilated this time earlier so it was all up in the air. I think because the idea of induction being different from going into labor naturally was a new idea for me, I was a bit more nervous leading up to it. But, it was also a very great thing to have the luxury of planning with Otis and to prep him for birth and us being away. The night I came home from my 38 week appointment and cervix stretch, I lost my mucus plug. So the wait was on and luckily I made it to my induction date! 

July 7, 2021 / 12:30 AM – Induction 

Our induction was scheduled for 12:30 AM on 7/7/21 so basically the middle of the night. I had to call 2 hours ahead of time to make sure they had beds available and confirm we could come in. So we called at 10:30 and crossed our fingers and were happy to find out, IT WAS GAME TIME. Our friend came over to swap in for Otis duty and we grabbed our hospital bags and we were OFF! Since we were vaccinated, we did not need to do a covid test for the hospital so that was very nice. If so, we would have done one in advance of our induction.

Since last time I was in active labor, going to the hospital not in active labor was different. I was also strep b positive, I needed to get my IV right away to start my antibiotics to protect baby before birth. So by 1:17am, my IV was done and they had drawn my blood for our cord blood kit (we did CBR again to collect cord blood and tissue and we did the same with Otis.) We then waited to finish some antibiotics before starting anything else. At this point, I was 3.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. A nice thing was because we were both vaccinated, we didn’t have to wear a mask in our delivery or postpartum rooms. Only when we were in the hospital hallways. Since the rules were constantly changing I didn’t know what to expect but that was a nice surprise.

July 7, 2021 / 2:37 AM – PItocin

We started my pitocin at 2:37 am. This was the medication that would jump start my contractions to continue my dilation and get labor started etc. I wasn’t feeling much for a while. Just waiting… to see when things would pick up. At 3:27 am they increased my pitocin. I started to feel contractions but nothing major and mostly just discomfort. At 6:06 am, we increased my pitocin again. I was contracting every 3-4 minutes and feeling them more and was not able to rest at all at this point from the discomfort. I was still around the same dilation etc and the nurses informed me that anesthesia was going into a planned c-section so the plan would be to call them in when they were finished. I was ready. My blood pressure was a little bit on the low side so the plan was to get some more fluids before anesthesia came to do my epidural. So at 8:07 am I got my last big dose of fluids before getting my epidural.

July 7, 2021 / 8:34 AM – Epidural 

I had ZERO birth plan except for deliver a healthy baby and have a healthy mama… and get the epidural if I could! So now that I was in alot of pain and discomfort, it was time to call in Anesthesia. I WAS READY. This time around, everything was going ok but while we were doing my actual epidural and he was placing everything properly, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. Since my blood pressure was so low, I was in bad shape. I thought I was going to pass out on the floor. This was the opposite of my first epidural experience with Otis but let me tell you, it was NOT fun. Finally everything was placed and in and I was just glad it was over. I had ice on my forehead and started to feel better. I was just happy to know my epidural was in and now it could GET BUSY.

July 7, 2021 / 9:20 AM – Break my water 

The laborist on call was able to come and break my water at this time. This is what would speed up and intensify my contractions to help dilate me quicker. Everything went fine and with my epidural, it was easy. No real pain just pressure and done.

July 7, 2021 / 10:05 AM – Cervix Check and Bloody Show 

Around this time, we did a cervix check and I was already at 5cm. So this was great news that I was progressing. I also had what they call my “bloody show” so the nurse said this was all good signs pointing toward labor. At this point, my contractions were starting to get way more intense and it was a little strange because I was feeling A LOT and still very uncomfortable. I told the nurses about it… didn’t think much of it. They pushed the button on my epidural to get some more medicine flowing. In hindsight, I should have called the anesthesiologist back. Basically my epidural was NOT working well… I mean maybe it was working a tiny bit.. But essentially I was still feeling everything. 

July 7, 2021 / 10:43 AM – OMG I am in so much pain 

Um wow. Things progressed VERY quickly. From 10:05 to 10:43 am I went to 8cm and 90% effaced and 0 station. I was feeling ALOT of pressure which is why the nurses checked me again. When I tell you I was in so much pain… I was gripping the bed basically laying sideways telling the nurse I didn’t think my epidural was working. The pain was INTENSE and I was moaning… it was.. Not how I envisioned feeling with my epidural. HA!

July 7, 2021 / 10:55 AM – GO TIME!!! 

I was feeling MISERABLE and in so much pain and had so much INTENSE pressure in my lady parts. I had to tell the nurse I literally felt like the baby was coming. They checked me again and she said, “YOU ARE READY!!!” Holy crap in 10 minutes I had gone to 10cm and was ready to push. At this point, I was having such intense pelvic pressure constantly. They called my dr to come immediately. She was at her office which was a 5 minute drive. The nurses were bustling around the room getting everything together. No one envisioned me getting to 10 cm this quickly so everyone was rushing to get things prepped and ready. We kept losing the baby’s heart rate on the monitor because he was just so low trying to get OUT. It was INSANE. I was basically holding my legs together afraid that the baby was literally going to come out. My epidural felt non existent and it was never able to catch up. I think at that moment, I realized that hey… this was happening whether or not my epidural was working. 

My dr arrived soon and I could barely focus at this point from the pain. Once she was ready and in position, I basically pushed for 3 contractions (each time pushing 3x) and baby was out in less than 5 minutes!! HOLY CRAP!!!!! Blake was trying to coach me to help me with my breathing and pushing because I just couldn’t focus so I feel I likely could have pushed him out faster if I was more focused but WOW. He came so fast and all of a sudden… he was here!!!!!!!!! 

July 7, 2021 / 11:20 AM – Happy Birthday Duke Ray Lapides 

Duke Ray Lapides was born at 11:20 am at 7lbs 4oz and 19 inches long. His cord was wrapped around his neck when he came out but my dr worked fast and all of sudden my baby was on my chest and I am telling you whether you have had a baby before, it’s one of the most life changing, mind blowing things to ever happen to me. Ever. The shock of baby finally being on the outside, here, breathing and moving on my chest… it’s just one of my life’s most powerful moments. I had a very small tear so after delivering the placenta, I got stitched up and then we were done.

Recovery

We got to snuggle our special guy for some uninterrupted time before the nurses came back to measure him, and do their tests etc. We got rolled to our recovery room and I was able to breastfeed right away which was incredible. The second time around I felt a sense of calm and confidence when it came to approaching breastfeeding and it went so smoothly and I am SO thankful that it did. I will say that the uterus cramping second time around was a lot more intense. Especially when breastfeeding the cramps were really bad. I made sure to constantly stay on top of my pain meds (rotating motrin and tylenol) and not miss any doses. Second time around though, we were ready to get home to Otis. We stayed in the hospital for a little over 24 hours to ensure Baby Duke was healthy and ready and I was medically cleared. 

After being home, I stayed consistent with my pain meds and for the first 2 weeks the pain and cramping was worse than I remembered with Otis. But it was all signs that my uterus was shrinking back down to its normal size. I actually stopped bleeding between 2 to 3 weeks postpartum which was amazing. All in all the worst part of the recovery tends to be a quick blur thankfully at least for me. I had to include this side by side picture of Otis and Duke in the hospital. Love seeing how similar their sweet faces were at that newborn moment!

So there you have it. Happy Birthday sweet little Duke. After the years of struggling with fertility, I have this overwhelming sense of peace leaving that chapter behind us and moving forward with our lives. This past week I was able to stop by my fertility clinic with notes and a small gift physically and figuratively say goodbye to this intense chapter in our lives. It has been filled with some of the darkest moments of my life, but also some of my brightest. I will forever be grateful to modern medicine for aiding us in our journey to become a family of 4. For anyone struggling with infertility, my heart aches with you. I know it’s a tough road no matter what your struggles are but I want you to know you are not alone. Linking my IVF related articles below. I shared a pretty in depth look at our process and I hope it might help to support you if you need it.

I wrote a few posts on infertility and IVF and you can find them below:

IVF 1 

IVF 2 

IVF 3

Prepping for FET (frozen embryo transfer)

Preparing for IVF egg retrieval 

How to support a friend going through IVF

IVF book resources

Covid-19 Cancelled My Embryo Transfer

Failed IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer

FAILED FROZEN EMBRYO TRANSFER #3 – FAILED IVF

IVF FET ROUND 4 (THIRD TIMES THE CHARM) IM PREGNANT!

The post My Birth Story with Duke appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

from Wellness https://www.eatsleepwear.com/2021/09/14/my-birth-story-with-duke/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[elizabethcariasa]

My Birth Story with Duke

My birth story with Duke started differently than Otis. With Otis I went into labor on my own and with Duke I was induced 1 week before my due date. Both were equally incredible experiences. I feel these moments are forever embedded into my memory. What a time to be pregnant during a global pandemic because of Covid-19 and also deliver a baby during this time. I will say my experience at the hospital was incredible and we felt 100% cared for and safe. Keep reading below for the story of Duke’s birthday.

Leading up to birth

Let’s rewind back to my 37 week appointment. At this appointment, I had my first cervix check and was at 2cm dilated, 70% effaced, and -2 station. My doctor also discussed with me that she wanted to induce me 1 week early at 39 weeks based on my 2 risk factors being age and IVF. Since I was already dilated and progressing on my own, we both agreed that induction would be a great option since my body was already naturally preparing for birth as well. WILD!! I didn’t think we would be scheduling an induction but I felt comfortable knowing my body was already on its way. At my 38 week appointment, I was at 3cm dilated, 70% effaced and -2 station but with a very engaged head. My dr gently stretched my cervix (not a full membrane sweep) to help get things rolling. I was starting to get excited and nervous at the same time wondering if the baby was going to show up before my induction or not! Otis was 4 days early but I was much more dilated this time earlier so it was all up in the air. I think because the idea of induction being different from going into labor naturally was a new idea for me, I was a bit more nervous leading up to it. But, it was also a very great thing to have the luxury of planning with Otis and to prep him for birth and us being away. The night I came home from my 38 week appointment and cervix stretch, I lost my mucus plug. So the wait was on and luckily I made it to my induction date! 

July 7, 2021 / 12:30 AM – Induction 

Our induction was scheduled for 12:30 AM on 7/7/21 so basically the middle of the night. I had to call 2 hours ahead of time to make sure they had beds available and confirm we could come in. So we called at 10:30 and crossed our fingers and were happy to find out, IT WAS GAME TIME. Our friend came over to swap in for Otis duty and we grabbed our hospital bags and we were OFF! Since we were vaccinated, we did not need to do a covid test for the hospital so that was very nice. If so, we would have done one in advance of our induction.

Since last time I was in active labor, going to the hospital not in active labor was different. I was also strep b positive, I needed to get my IV right away to start my antibiotics to protect baby before birth. So by 1:17am, my IV was done and they had drawn my blood for our cord blood kit (we did CBR again to collect cord blood and tissue and we did the same with Otis.) We then waited to finish some antibiotics before starting anything else. At this point, I was 3.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. A nice thing was because we were both vaccinated, we didn’t have to wear a mask in our delivery or postpartum rooms. Only when we were in the hospital hallways. Since the rules were constantly changing I didn’t know what to expect but that was a nice surprise.

July 7, 2021 / 2:37 AM – PItocin

We started my pitocin at 2:37 am. This was the medication that would jump start my contractions to continue my dilation and get labor started etc. I wasn’t feeling much for a while. Just waiting… to see when things would pick up. At 3:27 am they increased my pitocin. I started to feel contractions but nothing major and mostly just discomfort. At 6:06 am, we increased my pitocin again. I was contracting every 3-4 minutes and feeling them more and was not able to rest at all at this point from the discomfort. I was still around the same dilation etc and the nurses informed me that anesthesia was going into a planned c-section so the plan would be to call them in when they were finished. I was ready. My blood pressure was a little bit on the low side so the plan was to get some more fluids before anesthesia came to do my epidural. So at 8:07 am I got my last big dose of fluids before getting my epidural.

July 7, 2021 / 8:34 AM – Epidural 

I had ZERO birth plan except for deliver a healthy baby and have a healthy mama… and get the epidural if I could! So now that I was in alot of pain and discomfort, it was time to call in Anesthesia. I WAS READY. This time around, everything was going ok but while we were doing my actual epidural and he was placing everything properly, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. Since my blood pressure was so low, I was in bad shape. I thought I was going to pass out on the floor. This was the opposite of my first epidural experience with Otis but let me tell you, it was NOT fun. Finally everything was placed and in and I was just glad it was over. I had ice on my forehead and started to feel better. I was just happy to know my epidural was in and now it could GET BUSY.

July 7, 2021 / 9:20 AM – Break my water 

The laborist on call was able to come and break my water at this time. This is what would speed up and intensify my contractions to help dilate me quicker. Everything went fine and with my epidural, it was easy. No real pain just pressure and done.

July 7, 2021 / 10:05 AM – Cervix Check and Bloody Show 

Around this time, we did a cervix check and I was already at 5cm. So this was great news that I was progressing. I also had what they call my “bloody show” so the nurse said this was all good signs pointing toward labor. At this point, my contractions were starting to get way more intense and it was a little strange because I was feeling A LOT and still very uncomfortable. I told the nurses about it… didn’t think much of it. They pushed the button on my epidural to get some more medicine flowing. In hindsight, I should have called the anesthesiologist back. Basically my epidural was NOT working well… I mean maybe it was working a tiny bit.. But essentially I was still feeling everything. 

July 7, 2021 / 10:43 AM – OMG I am in so much pain 

Um wow. Things progressed VERY quickly. From 10:05 to 10:43 am I went to 8cm and 90% effaced and 0 station. I was feeling ALOT of pressure which is why the nurses checked me again. When I tell you I was in so much pain… I was gripping the bed basically laying sideways telling the nurse I didn’t think my epidural was working. The pain was INTENSE and I was moaning… it was.. Not how I envisioned feeling with my epidural. HA!

July 7, 2021 / 10:55 AM – GO TIME!!! 

I was feeling MISERABLE and in so much pain and had so much INTENSE pressure in my lady parts. I had to tell the nurse I literally felt like the baby was coming. They checked me again and she said, “YOU ARE READY!!!” Holy crap in 10 minutes I had gone to 10cm and was ready to push. At this point, I was having such intense pelvic pressure constantly. They called my dr to come immediately. She was at her office which was a 5 minute drive. The nurses were bustling around the room getting everything together. No one envisioned me getting to 10 cm this quickly so everyone was rushing to get things prepped and ready. We kept losing the baby’s heart rate on the monitor because he was just so low trying to get OUT. It was INSANE. I was basically holding my legs together afraid that the baby was literally going to come out. My epidural felt non existent and it was never able to catch up. I think at that moment, I realized that hey… this was happening whether or not my epidural was working. 

My dr arrived soon and I could barely focus at this point from the pain. Once she was ready and in position, I basically pushed for 3 contractions (each time pushing 3x) and baby was out in less than 5 minutes!! HOLY CRAP!!!!! Blake was trying to coach me to help me with my breathing and pushing because I just couldn’t focus so I feel I likely could have pushed him out faster if I was more focused but WOW. He came so fast and all of a sudden… he was here!!!!!!!!! 

July 7, 2021 / 11:20 AM – Happy Birthday Duke Ray Lapides 

Duke Ray Lapides was born at 11:20 am at 7lbs 4oz and 19 inches long. His cord was wrapped around his neck when he came out but my dr worked fast and all of sudden my baby was on my chest and I am telling you whether you have had a baby before, it’s one of the most life changing, mind blowing things to ever happen to me. Ever. The shock of baby finally being on the outside, here, breathing and moving on my chest… it’s just one of my life’s most powerful moments. I had a very small tear so after delivering the placenta, I got stitched up and then we were done.

Recovery

We got to snuggle our special guy for some uninterrupted time before the nurses came back to measure him, and do their tests etc. We got rolled to our recovery room and I was able to breastfeed right away which was incredible. The second time around I felt a sense of calm and confidence when it came to approaching breastfeeding and it went so smoothly and I am SO thankful that it did. I will say that the uterus cramping second time around was a lot more intense. Especially when breastfeeding the cramps were really bad. I made sure to constantly stay on top of my pain meds (rotating motrin and tylenol) and not miss any doses. Second time around though, we were ready to get home to Otis. We stayed in the hospital for a little over 24 hours to ensure Baby Duke was healthy and ready and I was medically cleared. 

After being home, I stayed consistent with my pain meds and for the first 2 weeks the pain and cramping was worse than I remembered with Otis. But it was all signs that my uterus was shrinking back down to its normal size. I actually stopped bleeding between 2 to 3 weeks postpartum which was amazing. All in all the worst part of the recovery tends to be a quick blur thankfully at least for me. I had to include this side by side picture of Otis and Duke in the hospital. Love seeing how similar their sweet faces were at that newborn moment!

So there you have it. Happy Birthday sweet little Duke. After the years of struggling with fertility, I have this overwhelming sense of peace leaving that chapter behind us and moving forward with our lives. This past week I was able to stop by my fertility clinic with notes and a small gift physically and figuratively say goodbye to this intense chapter in our lives. It has been filled with some of the darkest moments of my life, but also some of my brightest. I will forever be grateful to modern medicine for aiding us in our journey to become a family of 4. For anyone struggling with infertility, my heart aches with you. I know it’s a tough road no matter what your struggles are but I want you to know you are not alone. Linking my IVF related articles below. I shared a pretty in depth look at our process and I hope it might help to support you if you need it.

I wrote a few posts on infertility and IVF and you can find them below:

IVF 1 

IVF 2 

IVF 3

Prepping for FET (frozen embryo transfer)

Preparing for IVF egg retrieval 

How to support a friend going through IVF

IVF book resources

Covid-19 Cancelled My Embryo Transfer

Failed IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer

FAILED FROZEN EMBRYO TRANSFER #3 – FAILED IVF

IVF FET ROUND 4 (THIRD TIMES THE CHARM) IM PREGNANT!

The post My Birth Story with Duke appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

[collage-portfolio-time]

Interview Preparation

Career Choice : Illustrator

Company Choice : FolioArt

1. Tell me about yourself. I am a 16 year old artist who has been working with portraiture, both realistic and cartoonish, since I was very small. I have won 2 consecutive awards for the international government-run ‘Manga Jiman’ competition, both in 2019 and 2020, winning the youths prize in 2019 and both the youths prize and 7th place in 2020, ‘making history’ as I won the youths prize two years running. The music I listen to inspires me a lot as what I draw can sometimes entirely depend on what I am listening to at the time. I have had a major interest in manga and anime since I was young and that has also influenced my style of work and the fandoms I go around to spread my collection of work to different places of the internet.

2. Why do you want to work for us? I love the fact your company will represent a range of illustrators, both well-known and up and coming. That makes you seem much more open to different styles of work and experimentation to me which I find myself drawn to.

3. What can you bring to our company? Why should we hire you? I can bring a range of styles. Like Ive said before, I work in both realism and cartoonish styles of work, which I feel could bring more people in from completely different sides of the art world. I can also work with a wide range of mediums, from digital work to watercolors, although I find myself preferring digital for the clarity you can get in an image.

4. What do you know about our company? You were established in central London in the 1970’s and are now working worldwide. You cover all sides of the art world from traditional works to GIF’s. You say you have a personal relationship with your illustrators. You have also represented artists that have worked with well-known bands for album art which include Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and The Rolling Stones, and have also had artists under your wing work with film studios like when Joe Petagna created the concept for the Facehugger in Alien.

5. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What are your career goals? I hope to see myself with enough of a following to simply be able to create for myself and be able to make a living, as selfish as that sounds. I don’t enjoy working for others unless I like their concepts and ideas as I will just simply be uninterested in what I create and end up producing something boring as a result. I want to work to the best of my ability, and as much as the art world is ran on what others want to see, I want to dictate what I do in the process while also getting approval from the people who will consume it.

6. Why did you choose this field/career path? I chose this career path as it’s the only thing I know. As I child I would never let myself do anything but draw, I was obsessed with the gratification I got when I saw that I was improving. That was probably a detriment in the long run as now I feel obligated to work in the art industry because if I don’t what have I been doing this whole time. I feel like I owe it to myself and to the people who have funded my interests and hobby.

7. Can you tell me about your role in your current place of work? Right now I am a college student, so my role is to learn. I will create, be criticized and create again. My job is to learn from the criticism and improve upon myself to represent the collage in a good light as well as myself, and hopefully gain recognition so the collage can say that they taught me for better reputation.

8. What are your strengths/weaknesses? My biggest weakness is my pride. I will become quite offended by the slightest bit of criticism that I think isn't warranted, and yet I am so self-critical that I will rip a piece to shreds if I go a touch out of my lines while painting. It hurts to have my fears confirmed that I won't be the gifted child forever and that I will blur into the crowd of other talented artists in my classroom. It's not only that but also the thought that I spent so long on a piece to be told that it didn’t match up to an idea someone else wanted or there wasn’t enough color, and I find myself unconsciously lashing out, but I am trying to work past that and take the criticism thankfully. Despite that, what could be considered one of my greatest strengths from time to time will be my stubbornness, as I will stick to a plan I like no matter what others tell me might go wrong, which sometimes works in my favor. Technically, I am more skilled with watercolors and digital mediums than I thought I was, as the amount of people I hear struggle with them is astonishing to me as I find I work with them with relative ease, but to counter that I now struggle with mediums such as acrylics and colored pencils as Ive laid off them for so long. I hope to get better with those mediums in the future as I practice more with them again.

9. Tell me about a time when you worked in a team? Were you a leader/coordinator/etc.? I studied performing arts when I was at The Academy Grimsby secondary school. We were tasked to create a script or scenario based on a prompt that I can't quite place now, and we were a group of 4 actors as most people there were dancers. I ended up writing up the entire script that I put together, although the others did prompt some ideas, and almost directing practices. I felt I was forced into a leading position as the others weren't engaging as much as they probably should have, apart from one other person who seemed to take it as seriously as I did. I feel despite the fact I was practically shoved into the lead, and even though the script was probably shoddy as I had never really written besides from creative writing in English, I lead them well considering I was known to be quite antisocial and introverted. That situation made me realize that I was better at controlling situations and being assertive to others than I ever thought I would be, although I wasn’t too strict or bossy from what I remember.

10. Tell me about a time when you faced a challenge. What was your reaction? How did you solve it? I faced quite a big challenge when I created the first page of my 2020 Manga Jiman entry. In the first page you get quite a copious amount of building shots, and while it looked good how I imagined it, I realized when I had finished the sketch that I had never really drawn a building before. It took me two days of constant redoing, experimentation and almost scrapping the first page entirely before I finally felt happy with what I had produced. Nowadays I find it much easier to step out of my comfort zone and delve into architecture when drawing backgrounds, and I feel this experience helped me progress as an artist.

11. Tell me about an accomplishment you are most proud of. Ive mentioned this before a copious amount of times, but my Manga Jiman awards. As they are government run and judges by professional mangaka (manga creators) I think it gives my awards that extra flair of pride that makes me cling to them. The thing I will probably particularly cling to is the fact they said I was ‘making history’ with my consecutive youths prize wins, which I think is quite a good thing to be able to say on a resume. Not only that, but my winning submission for the 2020 competition was given a talk about on the award ceremony by a legendary mangaka Kiriko Kubo, who said my ‘line was neat, the layout was good and the main character was charming.’,’the work can be read smoothly’, and that ‘creating atmosphere is important, and being able to do it like this is an exellent talent’. It gives me pride that someone so prestigious in a world I had barely entered would praise my work so highly.

12. What motivates you? What can motivate me most are two things: approval from others and money. I am materialistic at heart but also sensitive to others comments on my work, so the both end up being great pushes in my art career. I feel if I am being paid for my work that it is worth something, because objectively it is, and being praised for what I do makes me feel validated beyond what I thought was possible, so the two can push me to keep going.

13. What was your biggest failure? What did you learn from it? My biggest failure is the many times Ive tried to work with soft pastels. I don’t know what it is with that medium that renders me unable to function with them but I cannot create a good piece with those sticks of chalk in my hands. I learnt that I am not the best with dry mediums and should probably keep to my paints and digital mediums for now, although I'm always open to trying them out again and again until I get used to them.

14. What was your biggest mistake? How did you fix it? My biggest mistake was thinking I was going to get placed in my first Manga Jiman entry in 2019. I was 15 at the time, so there wasn’t much of a chance I was going to be placed within the top 10 because of my age alone but I didn’t realize that at the time. I had gotten so apprehensive about results that should've been obvious from the moment I was shortlisted, but I was aiming for the top 5 in the placings. I still think that my work might've placed in top 5 had I been older, but the embarrassment and sadness about ‘only’ getting youths prize at the time was almost overwhelming. That experience taught me not to get my hopes up on stuff like that and set myself up for the worst when it comes to things like this in the future, which I did in the 2020 entry. I was simply aiming for 10th place as I wasn’t even aware the youths prize was being awarded that year because there was only 11 of us, and one of the prizes was the yonkoma award for people who were between 11 and 13 containing a single 4 panel page which one of the shortlisted entries mirrored. I ended up getting more that I thought I would've in the terms of awards and recognition which I was happy about.

15. Are you willing to relocate/travel? I am willing to relocate and travel, although i would prefer to do so with someone else I trust as I tend to get nervous in new situations should that be possible.

16. Do you have any hobbies? What are they? I don’t really do much other than draw for my social media’s and complete collage work. I do small things such as singing and watching twitch streamers, but those are few and far between or happening while I work so I don’t think they can be considered big hobbies of mine. I used to bake when I had to take a lot of time out of secondary school due to sickness but I had a lot of spare time back then so it was more possible for me to have hobbies other than art.

17. What are your computer skills/technical skills? I know how to work almost all Microsoft programs, office 365/outlook, and various digital art programmes such as medibang paint pro and the basics of photoshop/illustrator. I also know general video editing such as keyframing and audio manipulation in Wondershare Filmora.

18. How did you hear about this position? I chose to contact you for this position as I had found you take submissions for new artists to represent and thought I'd shoot my shot.

19. What are your salary requirements? Minimum wage and whatever you/the client feel I deserve on top of that, even if that’s nothing at all. As long as I get minimum wage for my work and supplies, I am fine with that.

20. Do you have any questions for me? How would you represent me? Would it be a situation where you would recommend me to people looking to commission and leave us to our devices or would you be there the whole process?

[kyndaris]

The Hard-Hitting Questions

So, I found this posted on a blog I was following and thought I might break it all down and answer these questions as honestly as I could.

1: Do you try to stay away from walkthroughs?

It depends on the game. Usually, I do try to play through blind but in games where it is best to max stats/ relationships/ unlock codex entries, I will often use a walkthrough so that I won’t miss out on certain scenes or events. Otherwise, the only time I would use a walkthrough is if I were stuck.

2: Company you're always loyal to?

I would say that rather than a company, I am far more loyal to a franchise. Whether that is Kingdom Hearts or Assassin’s Creed. 

3: Best game you've ever played?

This is a difficult question as there are many things that make up an excellent game. For me, the best game that I’ve currently played is the Witcher 3. It has all the hallmarks that I adore: from being a role-playing game with active combat, as well as a thrilling story to tell. The runner-up would be the Uncharted franchise that drew me in even when I had yet to own a Playstation 3. The bombastic set pieces and the effective story seemed like a must play for me.

4: Worst game you've ever played?

I can’t quite say that I’ve played many ‘bad’ games. The one game that I could not invest in was Soul Sacrifice. Despite my best efforts, it simply was not the type of game that caught my eye.

5: A popular series/game you just can't get into no matter how much you try?

Oh, let me list the many popular game series in the world that I have yet to try. First and foremost would be the Monster Hunter franchise, followed by Metal Gear Solid, Dark Souls and Resident Evil. 

6: A game that's changed you the most?

I doubt that there was a game that changed me the most. There have been games that have made me pause and reflect on the nature of things such as Bioshock Infinite and Prey. Though the most influential game that hooked me on a type of gaming would have been the Shadowrun revivals. I never thought crpgs (computer role playing games) with their asymmetric gameplay would have drawn me in but the mixture of strategy and role-playing statistics slowly but surely drew me in.

7: A game you'll never forget?

The game that I will never forget is Kingdom Hearts. It was one of the first games that I played and it was the one that had me salivating with anticipation. The union of Disney with these strange JRPG tropes was a match made in heaven that I could not help but crave. Most likely due to the fact that I have always been a lover of Disney films.

8: Best soundtrack?

Is it cheating if I simply say Final Fantasy? As in the entire franchise? However, if I had to choose a singular soundtrack, it would have to go to Child of Light. I adored the soundtrack found therein.

9: A game you turn your volume off every time you play it?

After a while, I tune out the music from arpgs (action role-playing games) with its endless clicking and loot drops to lure you further down the track. Some examples would include Diablo 3 and Victor Vran.

10: A game you've completely given up on?

The best example that comes to mind is Soul Sacrifice. After a while, I simply could not click with how the game played. The endless grind for better loot and items based on an ephemeral scoring of performance was more than I could bear and in the end, I traded the game in.

That and Codename STEAM. Mostly due to the fact that there was no tangible reward in the game and the enemies you faced only became more difficult. 

11: Hardest game you've played?

I do not often play hard games but the two games that I have yet to complete are Jak 2 and Jak 3. 

12: Shortest time you've beaten a game in?

I would say roughly eight to ten hours. It was either the first Uncharted or The Order 1866. 

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn't released yet?

Back when I was younger and quite impressionable, the game I was most excited for was Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. I told everyone that I met how hyped I was for the game (only to later learn it was on the Gameboy Advance and I would not be able to play it until I managed to sneakily download an emulator), going into clear and crisp detail when I went to Disneyland near the end of 2004.

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting?

This wouldn’t be a game per se but I thought it would be cool if Link had a proper voice instead of his usual grunts. Most games these days have voice acting so it’s hard to peg one down.

Perhaps Pokemon? We have yet to hear the voices of the characters running around.

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover?

I never much thought about it but it might be interesting to see a crossover between the Uncharted franchise and the rebooted version of Tomb Raider. Lara Croft and Nathan Drake heading on an adventure together, each trying to one-up each other when it came to their knowledge on ancient civilisations. That or perhaps even bringing in a little Assassin’s Creed. 

16: Character you've hated most? From what game?

There hasn’t been a character I’ve truly hated in a game. While the Luxord battle in Kingdom Hearts 2 gave me the most grief, I did like that buttery British accent and his stylistic leanings. 

Now if we were talking about novel protagonists, I have one clear answer: Quentin Coldwater from The Magicians trilogy by Lev Grossman. If the book series were ever adapted to game form, be sure to find that on the top of my most hated character list.

17: What game do you never tell people you play?

I don’t think there’s a game that I have played that would warrant it being a secret. Gaming itself is almost a guilty pleasure when it comes to conversation and only comes up in conversation with people I know that are fellow gamers or who I know actually dip their toe into the hobby. Otherwise, I keep quiet about my interests.

In saying that, there was a Barbie adventure game on the original Playstation that one of my friends had. We played it together but it was nothing to write home about.

18: A game you wish your friends knew about?

Most of my friends know all about the games that I play since I now post impressions and reviews on my tumblr. But I do think Child of Light and the Danganronpa games are deserving of a shameless plug every now and then.

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival?

Croc: Legend of the Gobbos. 

20: What was the first video game you ever played?

I would have to say Pokemon. The first gaming ‘console’ I received was the Gameboy Colour along with Pokemon Blue. I simply had to ‘catch ‘em all.’

21: How old were you when you first played a video game?

Roughly five or six? I don’t quite remember.

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do?

That’s a difficult question. I never much thought about immersing myself in a game but rather living in the world of a game. It’s a debate I’ve often had with myself - whether it should be in a far-flung fantasy world or in one couched in reality. 

I would say it would have to be a game either in the Mass Effect universe or perhaps the more recent titles of Final Fantasy. I would like to see myself as a mercenary or a soldier but truth be told, I would be out exploring the new world I found myself in or in a menial position out of danger.

But if I could immerse myself in any game for a day, it would have to be an MMORPG where I could focus on the social aspects of it, as well as dive into enjoying the joys of freedom found therein.

23: Biggest disappointment you've had in gaming?

Most of the time I shy away from games that would prove to be disappointing. As a gamer, I like to be informed and so I try to read as many reviews as I can. The biggest disappointment I found came through in my first time playing through Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I had high expectations after ploughing through Skyrim. 

Another game that proved to be quite disappointing was Kingdom Hearts re: Coded. The worlds were almost an exact copy from the original title on Playstation 2 and even the plot felt recycled. 

24: Casual, Hardcore, or in the middle?

I like to think I sit somewhere in the middle. I’m not extremely hardcore but I do like some of my games to have a little challenge (even though I much prefer story to being pounded into dirt by enemies).

25: Be honest; have you ever used cheats (like ActionReplay or Gameshark)?

Back when I first discovered real-time strategy games such as Starcraft  and Warcraft, I also picked up a number of cheats to make my life easier. I was not very good at micromanaging when I was eight and the stories seemed to sparkle with an intoxicating allure.

26: Handheld or console?

Despite my numerous handheld devices, I would have to say I am a console player at heart. Most of the time, my Nintendo 3DS and Playstation Vita are played whilst plugged into the power supply. I like to go on gaming binges if there’s ample time.

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry?

There have been a couple of moments. One in my immediate memory came from Tales of Berseria. I felt a strong connection to Velvet Crowe and the struggles she faced throughout the game touched a part of me I had never known.

The first moment when I had the urge to cry came in the ending moments of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. It was only ruined by the terrible line (but after much hewing and hawing over it, it actually made sense in context). Still, I would have rather it have been far more poignant and heartfelt than what it had been.

28: Which character's clothes do you wish you owned the most?

The first thought that came to mind was Roxas. But really, I like most of the clothes that can be found in the Kingdom Hearts series. 

29: Which is more important, gameplay or story?

Story is the most important aspect of a game (at least in my opinion). It’s the one thing that keeps me going as I usually find my interest flagging when story is not the main hook. Tetris is good for a couple of minutes but it is not something I would be able to play for eight hours on end.

30: A game that hasn't been localized in your country that you think should be localized?

Obviously the Dai Gyakuten Saiban series. I was severely disappointed to hear that we won’t be seeing a Western release and I sincerely adore all the games that involve table slamming, finger pointing and strange twists on actual legislation.

[andrewansahartwork]

     TL;DR: I severely underestimated how much shading and blending work I would have to do in one sitting the night before turning this drawing in. This led to me finishing the drawing in a trance for several hours after the time I wanted to sleep, while shading everything sloppier and sloppier, and trying not to wake up my sick roommate with my laughter. Also I was shivering a lot because the air conditioner was running for no reason.

    The assignment was to draw something that showcased the inside and outside space of a building.This is a drawing that shows off the inside of a Dunkin Donuts, but the giant windows also allow the road and the buildings across the street to be seen. I took this picture sometime last week on my phone, and have been drawing it for several days since then. I feel that the shading is fine for the top two thirds of this drawing. The bottom third is where it starts to get a little wonky. Not only that, but the perspective and size of everything inside the Dunkin Donuts isn’t the best. There is a reason for this, and it involves one of the strangest drawing sessions I’ve ever had.

     Yesterday, I was a little behind on this drawing, and I had the line work finished, and in a state that I feel was near identical to the photo I took. I didn’t include the trees and traffic cones that were present outside the building, because I wanted to have the composition get simpler the farther your eye would trail off from inside the building. Anything outside of the buildings I felt added unnecessary cluster, and I didn’t want to make it hard to figure out what the drawing is of. So, I confidently thought I would be able to get all of the shading done yesterday evening. I get back from class at around 5:30, and ate dinner and relaxed until around 7:00. After a light power nap, I was rejuvenated and ready to start adding some detail to this drawing!

     I didn’t want to add too much detail to the drawing, because I wanted it to be a simple image that clearly communicated the setting. But right before I started shading everything, I suddenly decided that I didn’t like the way the two guys sitting at the table on the drawing’s bottom third looked. So, I went back and changed them to have better proportions (they were way more stretched out due to a perspective error on my part). However, trying to fix one perspective error opened up a lot more errors. One thing led to another, and suddenly about thirty to forty minutes were gone. Not wanting to fall too far behind, I got right to work on shading (finally) until around 9:00 when I took a break to shower.

      As I continued to work on shading everything, I realized my own meticulous detail obsession was getting the better of me. When I refer to “meticulous detail” in this context, I’m talking about wanting the lines that made up every building across the street to be as well crafted as possible. Those lines were drawn lighter than everything else, so I had to REALLY focus to see it when shading in the space with a lighter graphite pencil. At this point, I’m deep into the night (let’s say 12:00), and my ideal time of when I wanted this drawing done (11:00) was but a sad unobtainable dream. The desk lamp was my greatest source of light, as it was closer than the ceiling lights, the air conditioning was running for some reason, making the dorm and the hallway colder than usual, and my roommate also got a cold, and I didn’t want to keep him up. The air conditioning would lead to me shivering pretty frantically at random intervals, it calmed down after about ten minutes, but it was still interfering with my progress! So, at this point, I’m trying my hardest to give this drawing my own seal of quality, but I also want to finish it ASAP.

     I should also mention that for long drawing sessions like these, I tend to put on Let’s Plays or Podcasts on Youtube (through my earphones of course) so I have something in the background in order to not go mad from just hearing my pencils, erasers, and blending stick rub against the paper for hours. During the hours I was adding detail to everything, I had listened to the entirety of the Stream Train playthrough of Space Quest IV. I didn’t intend on finishing the playlist of videos in one session, and the playlist also served as a timer for myself. At this point, I’m starting to panic a little (and I’m aware this sounds really cocky, which isn’t my intention, but I’m not one to stress out, at all).

     In a rush to put something on I clicked the playlist for the Game Grumps Let’s Play of Zelda: Wand of Gamelon. If you don’t know, the game the two play in that particular series is an infamously terrible second party Zelda game developed for a legendarily terrible console called the Philips CD-I. So, in usual “Youtube Let’s Play of a terrible game” format, the commentators would start out calm (well, calm-ish, they knew how bad the game was instantly), and slowly lose their sanity as the Let’s Play went on. So, as I’m sitting in my chair, still shading in the drawing at around 2:00 in the morning, I was starting to get a little stupid. I attempted to contain my laughter at the commentary from the Game Grumps playthrough, and trying to speed through a shading and blending job while also trying not to make any mistakes. It devolved into madness for myself in a good hour.

     It was around 3:00 AM when I start quiet laughing at almost everything. The Game Grumps were losing their minds playing this bad game, and I was losing my mind rushing to get this drawing done. I even laughed at the fact that the people sitting by the window in the picture I took were unaware of the fact that they were causing me to lose a ton of sleep. It was the perfect meltdown scenario, but I refused to quit. I was at the bottom third of the page at this point. If you pay close attention, you’ll be able to tell I didn’t put in nearly as much care to the bottom third of the page as I did the top two thirds. I was basically rotating 2H, HB, B, 2B, and 4B pencils getting all of the shades down on the page as fast and as carefully as humanly possible, while giggling like a tired hyena at Youtube personalities trying not to loose what was left of my sanity that night. I had severely underestimated my workload. It should be noted that around 2:00 AM, my blending stick stopped working for next to no reason. I didn’t know what to do, and I was pretty emotionally compromised (or at least that’s how it felt at the time), so I used three tissues in their place.

     Upon completing the shading and blending, I noticed how there wasn’t much distinction between buildings and objects. Instead of adding more depth, I just added comic book-esque dark lines to most of everything. It doesn’t look as good as it could have, but I really wanted to sleep at this point. Mainly because I had an online test today that I could only get started on from 9:00 AM to 10:20 AM (I was able to take said test, and did well, don’t worry). It wasn’t until I stood up did I realize how much of a trance I was in. I stopped laughing, turned off the Youtube app, and noticed it was 4:20 AM. I set the mess of materials on my desk aside, and went to bed. Now that I look at the drawing, with around four more hours of sleep, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever made, but if I had budgeted my time better, it could have improved. Oh well, you win some you lose some.  

-I’ll post a better lit picture along with the reference picture eigher later tonight, or tomorrow.-                              

[cbilluminati]

Just in time for the movie release, Atomic Blonde makes a comic comeback in a big way. Here’s all the Oni Press Solicits for July 2017.

RICK AND MORTY: POCKET LIKE YOU STOLE IT #1

Retail cover illustrated by Marc Ellerby with Katy Farina

Alternate cover illustrated by Carolyn Main

(W) Tini Howard

(A) Marc Ellerby

(C) Katy Farina

(CA) Marc Ellerby with Katy Farina (retail cover), Carolyn Main (alternate cover)

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 6/12/17

IN STORES: 7/5/17

AGE RATING: Teen

GENRE: Humor, Sci-fi

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

Rick and Morty: Pocket Like You Stole It is a new comic book miniseries based on the popular [adult swim] television series and inspired by the Pocket Mortys mobile game! In this five-issue series, Morty is on a quest to free himself (and all the other Mortys) from the clutches of Ricks, who collect Mortys and force them to battle one another for schmeckles and glory. Along the way, he’ll discover the grisly history of Morty battling, the dastardly lengths that Ricks are willing to stoop to in order to win, and perhaps… the strength in himself that’s needed to free the Mortys once and for all?

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KILL THEM ALL

(W/A/CA) Kyle Starks

(C/CA) Luigi Anderson

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 9/4/17

IN STORES: 9/27/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Humor, Adventure

PRICE: $19.99

PAGE COUNT: 184

The new gonzo graphic novel love letter to 90s action movies by Eisner-nominated cartoonist Kyle Starks (Sexcastle, Rick and Morty).

A betrayed murderess wants revenge. A hard-drinking former cop wants his job back. For either to get what they want, they’re going to have to fight their way through fifteen flights of criminals, assassins, drug lords, murderers, yup, even accountants, and… KILL. THEM. ALL.

KAIJUMAX SEASON 3 #1

(W/A/C/CA) Zander Cannon

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 6/19/17

IN STORES: 7/12/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Sci-fi

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

New season! New jumping-on point! Ah, Kaijumax Prison… that cesspool of corruption in the South Pacific! Tensions among the city-destroying convicts have eased after a month-long lockdown and Electrogor’s capture, and now the kaiju gangs have begun vying for power again, all-out-attacking their rivals, trading addictive smog and dioxin, and abusing weaker inmates. The Creature from Devil’s Creek, after a long time as the low mon in the Cryptid hierarchy, stumbles upon some information that makes him think it doesn’t have to be like this. Also: Mind-controlled murders! Pre-smartphone navigation fails! And… some VERY old timey religion?

THE DAMNED #3

(W) Cullen Bunn

(A/CA) Brian Hurtt

(C/CA) Bill Crabtree

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 6/19/17

IN STORES: 7/12/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Crime, Fantasy

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

Sketchy gambler Pauly Bones has slithered into Eddie’s life with an offer—together they can turn the tables on the demon crime families and finally get what they deserve. Eddie and Pauly can’t trust each other, though, and it’s only a matter of time before one double crosses the other. But with a new hired killer in town, they might both be dead before they can make their treacherous plays.

HEARTTHROB SEASON TWO #2

(W) Christopher Sebela

(A/CA) Robert Wilson IV

(C/CA) Nick Filardi

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 6/12/17

IN STORES: 7/5/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Crime

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and after spending the last several months avoiding her criminal past to try and build a normal life, Callie is fonder than ever. Forced to set her normal existence aside and break her anarchist pals out of a Canadian jail, Callie finds herself head over heels for her old life. When this one-time dalliance threatens to turn into a full-blown crime spree, Callie turns to the only person who will understand: Mercer.

LETTER 44 #35

(W) Charles Soule

(A/CA) Alberto Jiménez Alburquerque

(C) Dan Jackson

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 6/26/17

IN STORES: 7/19/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Sci-fi

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

THE END IS HERE. The final installment that will bring the award-winning series to a close.

KIM REAPER #4

(W/A/C/CA) Sarah Graley

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 6/19/17

IN STORES: 7/12/17

AGE RATING: Teen

GENRE: Humor, Adventure

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

Kim is suspended from her job as a Grim Reaper and is working in a bakery with Becka—a welcomed change of scenery, until a zombie rolls up to the counter. Animated corpses are the last straw, gosh darnit, so the pair decide to take matters into their own hands and venture down into the Underworld. And if they end up kicking some ghoulish booty on the way, that’s fine with them!

RICK AND MORTY #28

Retail cover illustrated by

CJ Cannon with Katy Farina

Alternate cover illustrated by

Jenn St-Onge

(W/A) Kyle Starks

(A) Andy Hirsch

(A/C) Marc Ellerby

(C) Katy Farina

(CA) CJ Cannon with Katy Farina (retail cover), Jenn St-Onge (alternate cover)

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 7/3/17

IN STORES: 7/26/17

AGE RATING: Teen

GENRE: Humor, Sci-fi

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

OH MY GOD IT’S INTERDIMENSIONAL CABLE TIME! Rick and Morty are wanted fugitives in an alien dimension, so until the heat dies down, there’s not much to do but watch interdimensional cable! Can you even believe it? A special one-shot issue drawn by writer Kyle Starks (with a special cameo by Andy Hirsch)! Meanwhile, Jerry learns a painful lesson in film history in this issue’s back-up comic drawn by Marc Ellerby!

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INVADER ZIM #22

Retail cover illustrated by Warren Wucinich with Fred C. Stresing

Alternate cover illustrated by

Jon Vermilyea

(W) Eric Trueheart

(A) Warren Wucinich

(C) Fred C. Stresing

(CA) Warren Wucinich (retail cover), Jon Vermilyea (alternate cover)

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 7/3/17

IN STORES: 7/26/17

AGE RATING: All Ages

GENRE: Humor, Sci-fi

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

WELCOME TO ZIM’S GREATEST PLAN YET! Earth will soon be his! (Maybe!) Unfortunately, there’s something wrong with GIR—ASIDE from the usual list of things. For one, he’s intentionally trying to kill ZIM. And for two, he’s doing it at the worst possible times. Is ZIM’s greatest plan destined for failure (like it usually is)? Part one of a four-part story!

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REDLINE #5

(W) Neal Holman

(A/CA) Clayton McCormack

(C) Kelly Fitzpatrick

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 6/12/17

IN STORES: 7/5/17

AGE RATING: Mature

PRICE: $3.99

PAGE COUNT: 32

Everybody’s dead and everything basically sucks, so it’s a good time for Superintendent Coyle to start actually getting some leads into just whatever the hell is going on on Mars. Plus a robot armor guy fights a limousine. Plus some answers to questions you may have been wondering about. Plus shenanigans. HOOORAY!

INVADER ZIM, VOLUME 4

(W) Jhonen Vasquez, Eric Trueheart, Danielle Koenig, Aaron Alexovich

(A) Warren Wucinich, Aaron Alexovich

(C) Fred C. Stresing, Cassie Kelly

(CA) Warren Wucnich

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 7/10/17

IN STORES: 8/2/17

AGE RATING: All Ages

GENRE: Humor, Sci-fi

PRICE: $19.99

PAGE COUNT: 128

ZIM has plans to take over planet Earth. Schemes! Designs! Machinations! Uh… other words that mean “plans”! And in the fourth volume of the critically acclaimed comic series, these “plans” are plentiful, horrifying, and only half as terrible as usual!

From taking over a local restaurant to proving to Dib that he’s the master of fear, will rule the world, one way or another! Or not at all. Or only on Tuesdays? COLLECTS INVADER ZIM ISSUES 16-20!

JEFF STEINBERG: CHAMPION OF EARTH

(W) Joshua Hale Fialkov

(W/A/CA) Tony Fleecs

(C/CA) Luigi Anderson

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 7/28/17

IN STORES: 9/20/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Humor, Sci-fi

PRICE: $19.99

PAGE COUNT: 176

Have you ever wondered what could have been if Kevin Smith directed Men in Black? Us either because that’s kind of a dumb thing to wonder. Besides, why obsess about “What ifs?” when you could be reading the defining sci-fi-rom-com-dram-actioner of our time! From the writer of The Bunker and the artist of My Little Pony—wait really? Okay, I guess we’ll go with it—comes an alien invasion the likes of which have never before been seen by human eyes.

The space invaders are real. They’re here. They’re mean. And they’re standing in judgement over the citizens of Earth. The human race’s final exam. They’ve chosen a single champion to test and, unfortunately for us, it’s none other than Jeff Steinberg. Romantically challenged idiot, video store clerk, constipated, confused, distractible. In other words, the planet is totally doomed.

MERMIN, BOOK THREE: DEEP DIVE (SOFTCOVER EDITION)

(W/A/C/CA) Joey Weiser

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 8/21/17

IN STORES: 9/13/17

AGE RATING: All Ages

GENRE: Adventure, Humor

PRICE: $12.99

PAGE COUNT: 152

The third book in Joey Weiser’s Eisner Award-nominated series is now in PAPERBACK! No one knows much about Mer, the underwater kingdom where Mermin the merman was born, but due to a rising conflict with the people of Atlantis, Mermin needs to get back home immediately. Which means his human friends get to accompany him and see all the aquatic wonders of Mer.

But once again, Mermin is tight-lipped about his past—even when it’s swimming right in front of him. And there are enemies lurking in the seedier depths of Mer, who’ve got their sights set not only on Mermin, but on Pete and his friends!

ATOMIC BLONDE: THE COLDEST CITY (SOFTCOVER EDITION)

(W) Antony Johnston

(A) Sam Hart

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 4/17/17

IN STORES: 5/10/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Crime

PRICE: $14.99

PAGE COUNT: 176

NOVEMBER 1989. MI6 spy Lorraine Broughton was sent to Berlin to investigate the death of another agent, and the disappearance of a list revealing every spy working there. She found a powder keg of mistrust, assassinations and bad defections that ended with the murder of MI6’s top officer, as the Berlin Wall was torn down. Now Lorraine has returned from the Cold War’s coldest city, to tell her story. And nothing is what it seems.

THE COLDEST WINTER: ATOMIC BLONDE (SOFTCOVER EDITION)

(W) Antony Johnston

(A) Steven Perkins

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 4/17/17 ​

IN STORES: 5/10/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Crime

PRICE: $14.99

PAGE COUNT: 184

EIGHT YEARS BEFORE “ATOMIC BLONDE” …BERLIN FROZE. After a string of botched assignments for MI6 in Berlin, David Perceval is being sent home. Even his final mission before leaving—the defection of a Soviet scientist—goes badly wrong, as the coldest winter for 30 years descends on Europe.

With transport out of Berlin impossible, and the KGB searching everywhere for their lost scientist, Perceval must improvise a deadly game of cat and mouse through the frozen city to keep the Russians at bay, and deliver his own unique brand of revenge!

FAUNS & FAIRIES: THE ADULT FANTASY COLORING BOOK

(W/A/CA) Trungles

FINAL ORDER CUTOFF: 8/28/17

IN STORES: 9/20/17

AGE RATING: Mature

GENRE: Erotica, Fantasy

PRICE: $11.99

PAGE COUNT: 88

Fauns & Fairies: The Adult Fantasy Coloring Book is an erotic coloring book for adults, offering a steamy interpretation of traditional fantasy characters. From succubi to knights to pixies, the beautiful art nouveau-inspired illustrations show classic characters in sensuous poses sure to please. The delicate and detailed artwork is ideal for adult coloring book enthusiasts!

via Oni Press

Atomic Blonde is Back in the Oni Press Solicits for July 2017

Just in time for the movie release, Atomic Blonde makes a comic comeback in a big way.

Atomic Blonde is Back in the Oni Press Solicits for July 2017 Just in time for the movie release, Atomic Blonde makes a comic comeback in a big way.

[pulllp]

I haven't done one of these since bulletins on MySpace and they're still actually fun 1. Your romantic interests - rough kisses, just that, any place any time, idc about dates or gifts 2. Your past relationship - earth shifting, it honestly shaped me, I wouldn't be half what I am today if I hadn't chosen that path, I still hurt over things that were said and done but most days I'm wildly grateful for what I experienced 3. Your current relationship - pure, absolutely pure and genuine and undoubtedly the most completing incredible love I'll ever feel. 4. Your best friend - she's enchanting and magic, the wildest, weirdest, most beautiful creature you'll encounter. Absolutely captivating 5. Your worst friend - all my friends are good or they aren't my friends, quality over quantity, I don't bother with bad seeds 6. Your parents - two people who shouldn't have created a third, they're polar opposites who's live was hard, fast and fleeting. I love them both dearly, they're good humans tied together by me or they'd be strangers by now 7. Your siblings - strange little people, it's odd watching humans on their journey so closely from birth. Everything they do is exciting to me, I can't wait to see what they're like at my age 8. Your pets - non existent, but Tyson and I are probably going to adopt a puppy after my birthday so that's exciting 9. Your dreams - my dreams mostly focus on interactions I have during my days, I dream a lot about people I know, I believe my dreams are signs telling me to pay more attention to people, and usually they're right 10. Your day dreams - mostly I day dream about things I'm going to draw later, and kissing Tyson 11. Your sleeping patterns - I sleep from 2.30am - 11am usually, it's fucked and I hate it 12. Your eating habits - I live on redbull and cigarettes, and then wonder why I'm always run down (?) 13. Your hobbies - I draw and smoke darts 24/7 essentially 14. Your hopes - I hope to move into a beautiful new house in the next 2 months, I hope to be tattooing by the end of the year, and I hope to have my license 15. Your fears - dud caps? I don't fear much, everything's a story at the end of the day, so I don't worry too much about what happens to me 16. Your confidence - I'm 100% certain I'm hot shit. 17. Your anxieties - I get anxious a lot over dumb things, probably left over from the Valium addiction hiccup, I just give Andy head pats at the end of every day and debrief so that's my therapy, I don't dwell 18. Your greatest adventure - moving out of my parents house to another state to live with people who were essentially strangers. Moving to Melbourne has been the wildest ride, I'm so insanely happy I chose to make this move though 19. Your worst mistake - I don't make mistakes, I make choices 20. Your emotions - mostly in check, I smile a lot, I find a lot of joy in life 21. Your thoughts - scattered 22. Your physical ills - I have a heart condition where my heart things I'm dead and stops pumping blood around my body and then has to race to keep me alive when it realises, I did it to myself through drug/alcohol abuse and general bad health, I don't know if it'll ever mend itself, and I hate doctors too much to go and find out 23. Your eyes - they change depending on how tired I am, from light to dark, and they also change from green to blue. Also I've had it drawn to my attention that I have a really dark ring around my iris 24. Your ears - I have weird elf ears, Tyson thinks they're cute 25. Your taste - it's probably fucked from how many darts I punch daily 26. Your bad habits - I have a really bad habit of trashing my bedroom when I'm fucked, like absolutely fucking it up, and then being stressed because of the mess but too lazy to fix it for weeks on end 27. Your good habits - I write every single day, and I always ALWAYS take perfect care of my hair and skin 28. Your music - Varies 29. Your writing - is a constant 30. Your philosophies - even if it was absolutely horrible, it'll make a good read in my autobiography 31. Your sexuality - Tyson basically 32. Your likes - waterfalls. so. much. I live for waterfalls and forests and swimming in my clothes. 33. Your dislikes - angry people 35. Your turn-ons - that little indent on the tops of guys shoulders when they lift their arms, strong hands 36. Your turn-offs - ignorance 37. Your first sexual experience - 38. Your last sexual experience - I was out of my mind drunk and Tyson absolutely fucked me senseless 39. Your dream home - in the mountains just down the road from Ives mountain home 40. Your favourite games - idk, probably the game I play where I tell myself I won't get fucked up and then I do 41. Your favourite books - SO MANY!!!! To kill a mockingbird, fear and loathing, wintergirls, go ask Alice, anything about ghosts, mob wives/mobs, tattooing books... I'm currently building a library 42. Your favourite play - I once saw grease live and it was wild 43. Your personality - ???? Who can answer this ?? Idk 44. Your quirks - I sing everywhere shamelessly, people comment on it so I guess that counts? 45. Your shame - I have none, literally. 46. Your depression - 47. Your happiness - mountain air 48. Your role model/inspiration - Cher 49. Your flexibility - very? 50. Your clothes - obviously fantastic

[minhyukie]

hello it’s ur Local Mess here to talk about herself and do a lot of tag games im sorry for being the worst these are literally from within the past like two months and you all probably don’t even remember tagging me or care about my answers but than k you to @ki-hyunie​ @haehoney​ @honeyvevo​ @94wons​ @ckyun​ for tagging me in these i’m putting them all together so that you can all have the ultimate compilation of useless information about me!! please enjoy!!

im not tagging anyone because i don’t want to subject anyone to this but if u too love talking about yourself please tag me because i love hearing people talk about themselves

Name - amy

Age - 20

Height - 5′3 (160 cm?)

Ult Bias - seohyun + minhyuk the two loves of my life :(

Nicknames - i don’t really get many nicknames?? my roommate calls me amu though

Zodiac sign - aries

Favorite fruit - mmm kiwi? raspberries? strawberries? mangos!!! i fucking love fruits i don’t know i love them all

Favorite season - probably summer!

Favorite color - pink!! pink pink pink!

Coffee, Tea or Hot Cocoa - hot chocolate!!!

Favorite animal(s) - GOATS (if ur reading this @ me in goats)

Dream trip - i’ve been there very very briefly but i’d love to live in germany for a little?? i guess that’s not a trip but idk i’d be happy going on a trip anywhere tbh :’)

Number of blankets you sleep with - one!

Dogs or cats - i love my cats!! even though i’ve recently discovered that i’m probably allergic fjdkslf

Side blog - this... used to be a sideblog until i became too involved with mx and snsd :// so i guess my old main is a sideblog? idk @morningcomes​ <<<

Follower count - a little over 700!!! i love u all thanks for putting up w me

When did you start this blog - this particular blog was the beginning of 2017! but ive been on tumblr since like 2010 i think ://

relationship status: it’s... um.... it’s complicated fdkslfjsd let’s just say im in a relationship even though im not sure if we’re actually dating or what we’re doing.... let’s just say that

favorite color: pink!!!!!!!!!!!!

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick

last song i listened to: i really like humble and dna by kendrick lamar so i’ve had those on repeat the last few days!

last movie i watched: ... moana?? god it’s really been a long time since i’ve watched a movie

top three tv shows: friends!!! fullmetal alchemist brotherhood if that counts? avatar the last airbender.. a forever favorite

top three characters: look im the worst at coming up w these things so i’ll just give my favorites from the above shows: rachel!! or monica or chandler i don’t know i love them all :( envy!! winry!!! zuko and toph!

top three ships: ok i just want to clarify like.. pairings and not ships but joohyuk!! hyohyun :’’) and.... wow how am i supposed to limit this to a third one i guess i’ll say kihyuk because im in love with them the past few days

Bold the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have had braces There is something i would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin I am an introvert I like meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports I’ve been on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event (i honestly don’t know what this means but imma say yes) I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship I have a celebrity crush I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend

(ok listen... lemme just reiterate... not sure if what im in is considered a relationship fdjkslfds)

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages fluently I have made a new friend in the past year

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes!!! im so grateful

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? i honestly have no clue i say it all the time through messages but im like... emotionally stunted in real life lmao

3. do you regret anything? yea mostly just opportunities that i should’ve taken that i don’t because i don’t have the will to put in the effort ://

4. are you insecure? not usually!

5. what’s your relationship status? listen.... complicated....

6. how do you want to die? this is 2 morbid for me next please

7. what did you last eat? bugles!!! i love bugles

8. played any sports? i ran cross country in high school for 3 years and did track for one!!

9. do you bite your nails? nope

10. when was your last physical fight? ha h ah haha i don’t think i’ve ever been in a physical fight

11. do you like someone? yea!

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? yes... too many times

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? no, not really!

14. do you miss someone? yea i miss a few of my high school friends that i wish i got to see more often and i miss us all hanging out as a group

15. have any pets?
 my family has 4 cats!

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
 A+!

17. ever made out in the bathroom? damn i was ready to say no but.... i actually have.... im shocked at myself

18. are you scared of spiders?
 in certain situations?? who am i kidding lfjdkslfd yes

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? nah

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? ummmmmm my bed

21. what are your plans for this weekend? sleep and study :(

22. do you want to have kids? how many? idk?? i’m not very passionate about it tbh i’d be happy with anywhere between 0-3 kids

23. do you have piercings? how many? both my ears are double pierced!

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? i fuckin love math!! i would die for math also im pretty good at chemistry physics and computer science idk most things math/science related :)

25. do you miss anyone from your past?
 mostly just the same as before?? miss some of my hs friends

26. what are you craving right now?
 ..sleep

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
 i don’t think so??

28. have you ever been cheated on?
 nope!

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
 yea :(

30. what’s irritating you right now? too much to do too little time

31. does somebody love you? ..yes? i hope

32. what is your favourite color? pink!!!!!!!

33. do you have trust issues? not really trust issues but like i said before i think im like.. emotionally stunted or smth

34. who/what was your last dream about? i hoenstly can’t remember any recent dreams

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my ?boyfriend? lmao i cry all the time

36. do you give out second chances too easily? mmm idk? i’ve honestly never really thought about it

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forget ://

38. is this year the best year of your life?
 noooo

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? 18!

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? fdjskflds no

51. favourite food?
 yo this just jumped from 40 to 51 fjdklsfdjsk anyway um! chicken

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? lmao no that’s some wishful thinking :(

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
 i did most of my computer science lab :/

54. is cheating ever okay?
 no

55. are you mean? sometimes i can be really bad about impulsively saying things and... yea it can be mean :( but like in general? i don’t think im a mean person

56. how many people have you fist fought? i would cry if someone tried to fight me

57. do you believe in true love?
 yea!

58. favourite weather? gimme that sunshine, no humidity with a breeze

59. do you like the snow? yea!! but not excessively

60. do you wanna get married? yeah? but also it’s not like one of my overlying life goals ya know but if it happens that would be nice

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? honestly whenever i hear people say baby in real life i cringe fjdsklfds idk i mean i say it in the tags on here but in real life... nah and i call some of my friends babe but i do it jokingly it just seems weird to do that like.. romantically

62. what makes you happy? getting time to myself!!! to do the things i want to do and relax! to spend time with my friends just relaxing as well! in particular getting to paint and getting to play piano make me really happy and relaxed

63. would you change your name? nope!

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
 nope!

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ummm did u mean... my current situation jfkdlsfs

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yes mostly?? he definitely thinks im a lil weird when im like 100% myself but he still loves me anyway so :’)

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
 ^^^ said above best friend

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my high school best friend?? i think

69. do you believe in soulmates? not really it’s a nice idea though

70. is there anyone you would die for? probably a few of my closest friends

fdskfdlsfjdks hope none of u read all that!!! this deserves to be my about page tbh