#took me ages to remember the meme format i wanted lol

[djarinova]

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[villa-kulla]

Fic Writer Review

Tagged by @fontainebleau22, thanks for the tag, sorry for the delay!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

26 at the moment.

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

722 309. I’d have thought it would be more considering how long some of mine seem to get, although looking at other people’s answers to this meme, I guess 26 isn’t really a huge number!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

My first fic ever was a little Lord of the Rings experiment for an exchange thing. But my first proper dip into writing for a fandom would have been Breaking Bad, where I wrote for a couple of years before it felt like my ideas had run their course. Then there was a Kingsman fic, and then Mag7 where - similarly to BrBa - wrote feverishly for a couple years until it felt like the well had been plumbed. Oh yeah and then jumped into the Marvel fandom to drop one Marvel fic before immediately jumping back out lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

So the Marvel fic has officially just become my most kudoed fic, which is kind of hilarious considering it was a SUEZ! CANAL! FIC! But in my opinion, a good one lol. So yeah, it would be 1. The SamBucky Suez Canal fic, 2. The Kingsman soccer AU, 3. Desert Sand, 4. Chisolm’s 7, and 5. Blue Devils. That last one surprises me, but I guess it was an early one for the fandom, so I think it became an automatic read.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not

I do! It’s possible I’ve missed some here and there, but generally I try to get them all.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think any of them! While my fics definitely include angst, ideally it’s still in a fun way, or at minimum, bittersweet? I don’t generally want the last taste in a reader’s mouth to be angst. ALTHOUGH. I really really wanted to include an epilogue to the selkie fic that’s kind of angsty. Basically the story would end, but then many years later we’d see an old man get off a bus on the coastal road, carrying a suitcase. He’d be wearing a suit, clearly back from many years travelling. He’d walk to the coast, back over a hill where there’d once been a little fishing cottage, long since torn down. He’d walk down to the beach and into a little cove where he’d kneel by the water he knew better than anyone. Opening the suitcase he’d take out a box which he’d then empty into the ocean, ashes spreading across the water. He’d take out a folded bundle of cloth and wrap it around his shoulders. Then he’d dive into the water, disappearing into the waves, leaving nothing but an empty suitcase behind him, and a folded pile of clothes.

I loved that ending but I’m still not 100% sure if it was keeping in tone with the actual ending, so I left it out. Maybe one day I’ll go and add it as en extra chapter snippet.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t know if I’d call them ‘crossovers’ exactly, although I did stick Goody and Billy into a Some Like it Hot ‘jazz band on a train’ situation, and I also did a Breaking Bad one that used some elements of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Those feel more like ‘AUs’ though. I like situational crossovers, but I’ve never been super into fics where characters from different fandoms actually interact.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully not. The most off-putting comment I’ve gotten was someone who - despite being very complimentary - decided to make a full-on laundry list all the anachronisms in a chapter lmao, like what. Stuff like "interesting that this character used this expression when XYZ would only been invented 10 years later!” etc. I’m positive they didn’t realize how it came off, but still, that was kind of hilarious in its.....obliviousness lol. It was special.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. And I guess I’ve done the full spectrum of ‘fade to black’ to ‘describe every bead of sweat in pearlescent detail’. It really depends on what the fic calls for! I’ve done some I’m quite proud of tbh, but there are others I’d like to go back and have another stab at, just because they felt kinda cookie-cutter.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

There’ve been a couple! I can’t remember which ones specially, but I had some people asking to translate some Breaking Bad ones, and I think a Mag7 one too. I remember someone messaging to ask permission like “We love your fics in Russia!” and that was a very sweet and wild thing to hear.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I wrote one with @yoporkchopsandwiches! Our Victorian opium dens Breaking Bad AU lol. I was just thinking of that recently actually and remembering how fun it was to read what the other wrote! We plotted out most of it together, and then took turns writing chapters or scenes. But of course while writing you come up with other details or ideas, so we’d then present the new chapter to the other with all the new bits added. And it was so fun to read what the other came up with like ‘omg no way didn’t see that coming/good idea!’ and then picking up their idea from there. In that sense it was almost like improv but for writers.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That I’ve written? I think I’ve had the most fun with Goodnight/Billy, partly for the time period, partly for the dynamic, but mostly for the plausibility. While I really enjoyed writing BrBa, it felt more like it came from enthusiasm for the show, not the central ship lol. Don’t get me wrong, the chemistry and its potential was extremely fun to write in a fic setting, but I don’t find I actually shipped it while watching the show itself. Whereas it’s been nice with Mag7 to write for a ship that’s actually....more believable lol. 

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Ugh I can’t beLIEVE I have an unfinished fic up on ao3 lol it haunts me. I was sure I was done with Goodnight/Billy, and then early quarantine last year I had a train robbers AU idea, so I posted a couple chapters. But I don’t think my heart was super in it, I was more just messing around with the idea. I don’t want to delete it, but I’m also not super motivated to finish it haha, but we’ll see what happens. But tbh I like the poem summary better than the fic itself:P

15. What are your writing strengths?

Plotting, keeping things moving, and making stories feel visual maybe? They’re almost all movies in my head anyways, so I think I have good instincts for ‘cinematic moments’.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I’m a little lazy, and also ‘end-product oriented’. In some ways it’s helpful to picture the whole fic before you write it, but sometimes it results in some scenes feeling slightly slapdash because I’m just trying to get them out to move onto the next. Like ‘everyone did everything I wanted to in this scene? Great, next.’ I could stand to ‘stop and smell the roses’ more while I write, and actually see what else I can do to improve a scene.

(also if I use a word once it sticks in my head I end up using it like 5 other times in a scene and don’t notice lol, I need to stop that)

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

All for it! Depends how it’s done though. I personally find long scenes of dialogue where you have to constantly jump down to the author’s notes for the translations to be distracting. I like when it’s integrated more naturally where actual translations aren’t super important. Like in River Grit, Billy overhears this little exchange between Goodnight and his childhood nanny:

“Ah c’est vrai, mon petit Bonsoir! J’en peux pas le croire!” she cried out and laughed as she embraced Goody. Billy realized with a start that he actually recognized one of the words: ‘Bonsoir’. Goodnight. (insert brief flashback of Goody teaching him the nickname) / “Ma Serafine,” Goodnight said with a laugh. “C’est vrai que tu ne vieillis pas. Tu vas me rendre jaloux, heh?” / Billy had no idea what Goodnight was saying, but he sure as hell recognized Goodnight’s tone for flattery, and it was confirmed when the old woman laughed and smacked his arm.

What they’re actually saying is: “Oh it’s true, my little Goodnight! I can’t believe it!” / “My Serafine, it’s true you never age. You’re going to make me jealous”. But it doesn’t matter because this fic is from Billy’s POV so it’s about how he experiences the language around him, which is why I wouldn’t have included a translation for the reader. If you understand it then it’s a bonus, but the words themselves aren’t really the point! 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

That lil Lord of the Rings fic.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmm for Mag7 I’ve always liked River Grit and love how it turned out. I also think Ashes feels very complete as a fic and I liked the flashback format. And while it’s not my favourite fic, in hindsight I’m impressed with the Kingsman football fic and how I had to write about 5 different soccer games and make them all feel different and exciting, and not just some variation of ‘He kicked the ball!’ I’m really pleased with how those sequences all turned out.

La fin! Not tagging anyone this time, but please feel free to do this if you see it! I love when people just take initiative to do these things without waiting for a tag (also please tag me in it if you do, ‘cause I love reading these things lol)

[callioope]

Questions Meme!

Hello, yes, this HAS in fact been sitting in my drafts for ages and ages. Thank you to both @crazy-fruit and @ruby-red-inky-blue for tagging me and for waiting forever for me to answer (oops)! I’m sorry I took so long, but y’all ask really good questions and I had to think about some of them!

Question Set 1

1. How are you?

Oh, I’m doing alright! Thank you for asking. The earlier part of this year was rather rough, but therapy has been helping. I’ve been rather busy these past few weeks with traveling, and my schedule going forward is rather busy, too, so while I’m excited for those things, I’m also excited for the eventual moment I can just relax.

2. What would you say are your talents?

Writing. Making fancy color-coded spreadsheets. I’ve been told that my super power is getting random (annoying) songs stuck in other people’s heads. Does that count as a talent? 

3. If you had the chance to start your life again, would you take it?

NOPE. No thanks. I like where I am at right now, and I would not want to relive my awkward years. Er, at least, my more awkward, younger years. Cuz I’m totally still awkward. Just less awkward. I hope?

4. Which language would you like to speak instantly? 

HMM. ALL OF THEM. It’s really hard to choose! 

Language fascinates me, and in another life I feel like I would have devoted a lot more time to learning more of them. Unfortunately, I really hated German class in high school because of the teacher’s tendency to put people on the spot -- I think that is sort of inherent in a language class, but I get anxiety speaking in public. 

Anyways, I suppose I’ll answer Turkish to this question, since spouse and I keep saying we’re going to try to learn Turkish via Duolingo. For the record, my HS offered six languages, which was the most I’ve ever heard of an American school offering, and I was always quite happy with my choice of German. (The others were Spanish, French, Italian, Chinese, and Latin.) I do wish I had maintained my German better, and I that I had more time to learn Spanish. 

5. Where would you like to be right now?

Honestly? I’m pretty happy when I’m at home. But if I had to answer where “else” would I like to be right now, out of the whole world? Being back on safari in Botswana is a top contender, as are a variety of places in Turkey, and also Munich. 

6. What name would you give yourself?

I’ve always liked my actual name (Elizabeth). I know I go by Liz; one of my HS friends was quite stubborn and I’m a bit stuck with it now, but I don’t mind it. There are worse nicknames that come from Elizabeth. I used to go by Fiona online; I’ve always been fond of that one. 

7. What is something you’re currently learning?

OOF, what a good question. I sorta blanked on this at first, and my first thought was uhhhh learning how to cope with my OCD??? I’m doing exposure therapy right now, ish. Emphasis on the ish. Also mindfulness. Does that really even count? I started a beginner’s knitting project several months ago that I never finished, does that count? (I just need to seam it, that’s what I’m putting off. I have knit plenty of scarves; however, this is my first hat.) I’m sort of teaching myself ukulele although I haven’t really learned any new chords or songs in awhile. I would very much like to take more photography classes with a focus on wildlife photography. That involves buying a new camera and... signing up for classes. 

Question Set 2

1. What is a detail in a piece of art/a text that you like that you really admire?

This was very difficult, at first because it was like looking at a bin full of loose things and just seeing an assortment of color and being overwhelmed by it all, and then because once I did start digging around, I kept finding different ideas and it was too hard too choose.

Character-building: In the A Song of Ice and Fire series, when Arya starts working for the House of Black and White, Martin stops using the name “Arya” as she dons different identities. For example, he uses “Cat” for a bit, among other names. It shows she’s trying to be someone else, but the caveat is that there are still little mannerisms and such that show she hasn’t really left Arya behind (I think maybe she bites her lip or something? I don’t remember specific examples because it’s been over 5 years since I read these books, but I do remember really appreciating the general technique at the time). 

Music: In The Beatles’ “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” I love those repeated arpeggios, over and over, building, intensifying, as the white noise comes in and you can just feel the heaviness of desire, of want... (and then I love how it just breaks so suddenly! And I know it wouldn’t have been intended this way because that’s the end of side one, but since I listen to the whole album on spotify, then those bright chords of “Here Comes the Sun” come in and god Abbey Road is the best Beatles album)

Writing: the poetry of Florence + The Machine’s “All This and Heaven Too,” obviously, since literally the title of my blog comes from that. I’d quote that whole song honestly. There’s something that speaks to me about the incapability of language to fully encompass just... everything. I mean, love in specific here, but also just everything. Words are just these little boats we put meaning on and we hope they make it to the other side but everyone takes ‘em a little differently. 

Like, look at this: 

And the words are all escaping, and coming back all damaged And I would put them back in poetry if I only knew how 

And this: 

Words were never so useful So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before

Anyways, there’s also something just incredibly soothing about the music, too, and how she sings the song. There’s another line, from Sara Bareilles’ “Miss Simone” that goes “How does she know what a heart sounds like?” which pretty much sums up how I feel about “All This and Heaven Too” (and also many of Sara Bareilles’ song, especially that particular album, but I digress).

Anyways I did have some art examples, but I think I’ve rambled long enough.

2. Is there an idea that you really liked but had to discard because you couldn’t get it to work?

If I really like an idea, I don’t really “discard” it so much as put it on the shelf to attempt later. Out of recent fic ideas, I’ve really struggled with “How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days.” I first thought of this in late spring 2017, and for awhile I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but I was working on Whatever I Do at the time, and wanted to wait before starting another WIP. By the time I got to writing this, the inspiration well had sort of dried up. 

I really like the idea of a fun cat-and-mouse rom-com idea where Jyn and Cassian keep outsmarting each other, with a whole lot of competency kink, some “oh shit we actually work well together!” and maybe some battle couple. And I was really looking forward to both the moment when they both finally let their guards down around each other and the big confrontation when they actually find out each other’s identities. But it involved more mission writing than I was prepared for, and I really struggled with it. I think I need to start over but that involves a lot of working, so it’s unfortunately shelved for now, and I’m working on a “You’ve Got Mail” concept instead.

3. Is there something fandom-related you would like to be able to do (i.e. I’d like to be able to make gif sets but can’t)?

Oh, yes, absolutely! Really anything that’s not writing related, lol. Gif sets, art, etc. But most of all, I have a music video idea for the song “So Close” from Enchanted--like I have a whole story board plotted out in a google doc. But I don’t have any video editing software, don’t even know how you get the scenes for a music video, etc. I have made videos before, but not since high school, and I don’t even have the cheap, basic video editing program I used back then. Sometimes I think I should just attempt make a gif set instead, but there are so many lyrics! and scenes that go with the lyrics! that I don’t know how to consolidate it into that format anyways. 

4. What is a skill you’ve acquired through fandom work?

Hmm, this was tough. I’m going to say HTML. I’m not up-to-date on webdesign at all, but back in my early fandom days, I ran a few fansites. I still sometimes use HTML while leaving comments or to edit posts on dreamwidth or w/e. It’s super basic, but it has helped me at work at a variety of jobs. I take it for granted that people my age should know basic HTML, but a lot of them don’t, and then a lot of people I work with now are older and definitely not tech savvy. 

5. Do you think anyone can learn to create great art, or does it take talent?

Well, I’m going to cheat a little. I do think think that anyone can learn to create great art, but I also think that everyone has a talent at something, and part of learning to create great art is recognizing your skill sets and honing those. If that makes sense? I’ve sort of seen both sides to this. I’ve seen naturally talented people create great things, but I also think that they’re probably cheating themselves if they’re not learning and honing their craft and trying to get better. But I’ve also seen people who started out making things that maybe you wouldn’t call great, but they worked hard over and over again, and looking at their work now, you’d say they were talented without ever knowing the difference. Great art = talent + learning + passion. Did that even answer the question? ...moving on

6. Do you prefer AUs or in-universe? Why?

I prefer to write in-universe, for sure. I find modern AUs more challenging, mostly because--and I feel kinda bad saying this--it’s very difficult for me to tap into Jyn and Cassian’s characters without some kind of tragic background. Their experiences and how they coped with them shape their personalities, and it’s really hard to separate them from those. My WWII was easier because, hey, it’s war, not so different from in-verse. But I initially tried to write Learning Curve in a modern AU and I was just totally bored. Putting it in universe made it more interesting to me, especially having to finagle a happier plot inverse. IDK, it might even be that I generally struggle to make up any conflict in modern AUs that feels interesting.

THAT SAID, lol, I definitely read either. So it’s probably strange for me to be hung up on it because I’ve read nice fluffy modern AUs and found them perfectly engaging.

Tagging: @theputterer, @magalis, @allatariel, @mythologicalmango, @threadsketchier  MY USUAL DISCLAIMER APPLIES: no pressure if you just don’t wanna, AND if anyone sees this and was like “aw hey i wish she’d tagged ME” well guess what, I wish I did too! so go ahead and do it and let me know and then i’ll know to tag you next time, too :-) 

Questions:

When you suffer a setback or a series of setbacks when creating (writing, drawing, knitting, any kind of crafty project thing you work on... even work), what are some strategies you use to cope with that stress and move forward?

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to create/make and what did you learn from it?

What part of a bicycle would you be?

What’s a helpful writing (art/crafting/work) technique you’ve learned?

What’s a piece of art that made you see things differently?

You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

What was the last board game you played and what did you like or not like about it?

*sorry these came out rather writer heavy!

[ivanaskye]

8+2 writing questions meme

@vardasvapors tagged me and I used doing this as a reward for dealing with airport security....

1. What are your current writing goals? Ohhh boy, okay, let’s see, I’ve got to get Šehhinah book 3 fully edited by March 9th, when I’m planning on publishing it … finishing drafting Evocation 3&4 … editing Evocation 2 … then editing the other Evocation books, obviously, once they’re drafted … outlining the series that takes place after Evocation … I think that’s as far as I have planned.  That should get me through some of the year!  Although let’s be real I probably haven’t even done cursory outlining of whatever I’ll be writing in November or whatever yet.

2. When did you first discover your love of writing? HAHAHAHAHA when DIDN’T I discover it.

Uhh ok no really … I learned how to read like really early and was always super into books.  “Book!  Book!” I apparently demanded of my mom like, all the time.  My physical ability to hold a pencil took longer to be a thing than my ability to read, and certainly longer than my ability to storytell, but there’s a whole collection of little stories I dictated to my mom as she wrote them down when I was three or four or so.  These include memorable lines such as “Yes, dear, a fire hydrant is very important” and “Buzzing! He couldn’t believe his eyes!” and “And then they drank all day and died.  This was a long time ago, when people used to do that sort of thing.”  There was also the story that ended in Pooh Bear and Piglet dying … and the one where Thomas the Tank Engine “took his medicine” and “didn’t do any bad things anymore” …

Not too long after those, there started being little things I’d write myself with pencil and paper.  For whatever reason the first that comes to mind is this song about winter (meant to be sung by Pooh Bear, obviously) which I think I wrote when I was six, that went “It’s snowing / it’s mowing / but I don’t mind // I’ve got furry furry fur to keep me warm and snuggly / because it’s winter!”  Gods, uh, I even still remember the tune for that actually.  Then again, I think I remember all the tunes of the bad songs I wrote as a kid.

Also by the way I still have basically all of this stuff.  I have like, a barely-even-started attempt at uh, a nonfiction book, bound by staples, about volcanoes … THE FREAKING FAIRY SLAVE STORY, involving a fairy enslaved by an evil witch at the age of six …

This kept ramping up in complexity until I was nine and decided that a good way to spend a three-week road trip would be to write an entire movie script.  Which I did; it was about sixty pages long once later typed up by my mom (these were the waning days before I really learned how to type), which by typical page-to-minute conversions for scripts, means it would have been about an hour long as a movie.  I did try to film it, and got partway through, but oh my Gods, that is a story for another time and this is already an essay and I’m only on the second question.

Keep in mind that on that same road trip I also attempted to start drawing several manga—most not making it past the third page—and did some Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic, and a number of other things besides …

Uhh anyway this brings us to March 9th, 2006, which is the “created on” date of my very first writing document on my computer!  It was four paragraphs long and terrible and I was a bit of a weeb, so the main character’s name was Subeteno Kakusei … there was this whole thing where like, she’d fight for Life in the daylight but switch personalities and fight for Death in the nighttime, but I got stuck and stopped writing when she asked, “and why is life bad?” and I couldn’t come up with the answer.  Uh.  Also this story itself was already a revamp of another story written on paper which had started out as a riff on Pokemon…

3. What motivates you to keep writing? UH WANTING TO REMAIN BREATHING, lmao.

No seriously though, that’s actually something I’ve said to people: “oh, yeah, I have to write every day, OR I WILL DIE.” And I mean??? I probably would?? Wtf is a not writing every day?  I mean, okay, yeah, I only started the daily thing at the beginning of 2016, but still…

Seriously though, writing makes me feel like myself, it’s kind of what I am…

4. How important is worldbuilding for your writing? VERY??? EXTREMELY??? A WHOLE BUNCH???? I absolutely 100% have to get the cosmology of a setting down before I can write in it.  It’s the most essential thing in my entire process and also the hardest.  That essential-ness is why I write secondary world stuff—I want to decide the cosmology Gods heck it!!  I get to display something, a possibility of something, that is good, where the world works in a way that feels right, where the very formation of how the world works including its magic system is supportive of people’s happiness.

The whole cosmology process requires heavy amounts of thinking and analyzing and even heavier amounts of believing in myself though, and I feel utterly exhausted after it every time.

For all the other parts of worldbuilding, I do better if I have it down ahead of time rather than expect myself to come up with stuff while drafting—because, lol, I won’t, I’ll make up a cool landscape if I give myself a minute to do it in outlining or worldbuilding but if I don’t have one when drafting, I will somehow just completely fail to come up with anything interesting at all.  But also, I like drafting way more than any other part of the writing process, so generally speaking I don’t worldbuild quite as much as I could or maybe should!

5. Pen on paper versus typing? Typing typing typing oh my Gods.

6. Favorite Author? OKAY UH … the obvious answer here is N.K Jemisin bc her most recent trilogy is perfect, and she has great subject matter AND a gorgeous writing style that’s just amazing, and, and.  But.  I don’t usually like to say someone’s my favorite unless I’m certain that the stuff they’re doing next is also going to be something I like, so I might defer Official Favorite Status to such a time as her next book is published!

In that case, the backup favorite would be Brandon Sanderson…

7. Something you do to get the creative juices flowing to write? Coffee.

But more seriously … to get the creativity flowing to write, I write.  It’s a habit.  There is no muse.  There’s no use in waiting for inspiration to strike.  You have to make it happen anyway.  You have to just keep going and believe, and believe.

(More generalizing than I would normally say, but I highkey feel this one…)

8. Do you write better at night, or first thing in the morning? Morning! This past month is the first period of time for two years where I’ve not felt like I’m dying if writing isn’t the first thing I do in the morning … if only because I trust I’ll end up doing it for three hours in the afternoon anyway.  I can pretty much write any time of day now but I’m most attuned to doing it in the morning.  With coffee…

9. How do you take your coffee/tea? Cappuccinos are very important to my lifestyle.  BY CAPPUCCINO, I specifically mean equal parts espresso, steamed milk, and foam—but the foam is mixed into the milk, it isn’t just spooned on top, so basically it’s foamy milk.  The drink should be approximately 8oz.  It includes two shots of espresso.  The most preferred types of espresso tend to be Ethiopian, but anything with a bright flavor is great (which still is very most often African beans, with Ethiopian almost always as the best!).

…So, ok, maybe I’m a little particular…

10. If you could only live with one season for the rest of your life, what would it be? I’d say summer except that in many ways nighttime is more important to me than the day and also I lived in Hawaii for the better part of 4 years and the constant heat was too much for me.  So uh.  Uhhh.

I do need a lot of sunlight though, and even more than that clear skies!  I need starlight!  And moonlight!  So any season where I can get those things, and where the temperature’s not too hot but not like horribly cold either.  (Of late, my cold tolerance has outpaced my heat tolerance, but it too has limits.)

Tagging @lcmawson, predictably.

[kxlebcross]

[ even numbers for the weird asks, pleaseeee ]

me: has to google what are even numbers lol

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops, cuz after that i can munch on the lil lollipop stick too which keeps me busy lol

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? i know it totally doesn’t look like that but i used to be the class’ smart kid who participated in all kind of competitons and shit like that, was in the school choir, went to music school... so yeah, i was pretty much your average nerd, but then i grew up stewpid haha

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? a weird mix of tomboy and grunge, depending on the day and actual mood, weather and whatever the hell i got clean lol

8. movies or tv shows? movies - i usually lose interest in every series after like... 2-3 episodes? i only finished like 3-4 deries in my whole life so i guess the number speaks for itself

10. game you were best at in p.e.? i used to be pretty good at volleyball back then, though i was always considered too short to be on the school team haha 

12. name of your favorite playlist? am 4:44 with a little moon emoji, made by yours truly (aka me)

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? i don’t really eat sweets... but when i do i go for sour jellies but idk if that counts as candy haha

16. most comfortable position to sit in? have you ever saw one of those “bisexuals can’t sit normally” memes? pretty much all of those, i always sit in random poses until my back gives in, i don’t have a favorite position tho

18. ideal weather? the summer night’s warm weather with a little breeze, maybe with some clouds... but i usually enjoy rains and thunderstorms too unless i have to go out because then i’m like bruh

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? depends on what i have to write - for school notes i usually use a notebook and/or my laptop; for stories - my laptop or my phone’s notes if the inspiration gets me outside; everything else i’ll just write on random scraps of paper or in random notebooks just to never find them again haha

22. role model? i don’t really.... have one? i rather have a motto to live by but i don’t really look up to anyone tbh

24. favorite crystal? don’t have one, i dunno shit about crystals lol

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? go out for a nice walk or some drink with my friends, walk my cat outside or just chill on my balcony with a boo while terrorizing my neighbors with a randomly chosen edm playlist

28. five songs to describe you? human by sevdaliza badmind by kuzi scar by foxes throat full of glass by combichrist 5:3666 by machine gun kelly

30. places that you find sacred? uhhh..... i can’t really think of any that would fit here? but i never really step in weird plant formations in forests and shit like that, cuz better be safe than sorry

32. top five favorite vines? i literally only have one favorite vine and it’s the two guys chillin in a hot tub, thats it

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? every seasonal whiskas one because of the baby cats.... but other than that i haven’t seen an ad in ages, i don’t have tv and use adblock on pc haha

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? i...c an’t remember, it was probably one of the rage comics or trollface comics? can’t really recall tbh it was ages ago

38. lemonade or tea? lemonade, with lots of ice cubes and mint, give it to me pls

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? well in elementary some guy from the older classes took a sh*t then went to one of the classrooms to wipe his ass with the curtains there lol also some other time someone pissed out of the window on the first floor  in high school someone gassed the whole school with pepper spray, but like an insane amount, and everyone went immediately panic mode, police and firemen were called, the whole school evacuated..... and the one responsible for that had to pay like an insane amount of money for the police/fire dept. action haha

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets, i don’t trust jacket pockets cuz they usually dont have a lil zipper to close them up and i’d totally lose my phone if i put it there, im stewpid like that

44. favorite scent for soap? orange-vanilla or some other citrus-y scent

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? anything oversized will do with some pants/underwear

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? probably a grapefruit, fucking bitter about everything lmao

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? once i laughed at a plastic bag being dragged around by the wind for like 10 minutes while being fucked up drunk... does that count?

52. favorite font? hands down times new roman

54. what did you learn from your first job? that the customer isn’t always right and that apparently i had a knack for putting down tiles

56. favorite tradition? does halloween count? i love halloween

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i’m a really good driver.... and i think that’s it? i really can’t come up with anything else... does being loud and obnoxious sometimes count? and i think i’m good enough with people too... and i think i’m a good listener? idk, i’m pretty useless tbh

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? give me the good old horror and make me the obnoxious side character who rarely ever speaks cuz no one ever asks them anything, that would pretty much resemble my actual life

62. seven characters you relate to? bojack horseman, sal paradise, loki from mcu, wednesday addams, oba yozo from no longer human, richie tozier, holden caulfield

64. favorite website from your childhood? club penguin! i wasted sooooo much time on there, sheesh....

66. favorite flower(s)? i really like succulents and ferns! and cactuses... or anything that’s low maintenance tbh

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? licorice... and also cucumber lemonade, gross

70. left or right handed? right

72. worst subject? i’m really bad with history and physics, i’m just way too dumb for those

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? around 9-10, i’m pretty much used to all my chronic pains and tbh i don’t like taking pain meds cuz i always have to take double because once i was misdiagnosed and spent almost a year on painkillers so barely anything works for me now... thanks public healthcare

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? fries... i’d love some now, i’m actually hungry 

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from gas station, now pretty much all of them have decent coffee machines and the prices are okay too and i definitely trust them more than any boxed sushi ever

80. earth tones or jewel tones? jewel

82. pc or console? i grew up as a pc kid and tbh never had the money for a console so i just got stuck with it haha

84. podcasts or talk radio? if i necessarily have to choose then podcasts

86. cookies or cupcakes? both as long as its witch choccie

88. your greatest wish? let’s be realistic - i’d like to have my own place and little car and cats and i’d be all good

90. luckiest mistake? drunk kissing this one guy from my esports team after telling him i was a lesbian and he told me he had a girlfriend, it was stewpid tho, lets not get back to it

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? sunlight and fairy lights, the latter necessarily in blue, it’s just neat and doesn’t bring in all the mosquitos at summer when i leave the window open

94. favorite season? spring

96. desktop background? some assassin’s creed logo fanart i’ve found on alphacoders

98. favorite historical era? i.... really...... hate....... history...... blame it on my middle school teacher who made me hate it lol

[2187nomore]

Finn’s Rules & Verses:

I got a request from someone who can’t see my pages while on mobile, so for anyone else having trouble here they are! Note that while I don’t change my rules much (or basically ever lol) the VERSES information here is definitely not going to be up-to-date because I am forever making new aus...but here’s a start, at least, to give you something to explore until you get back to your computers!

Mun is named Nicky and is well over 21. Muse’s age will vary. Multi-ship and multi-verse.

RULES:

Following and Mututals:

This is a sideblog of nickyrp and as such cannot follow back.

We do not need to be mutuals to send memes or starters. Feel free to throw things like that at me at any time even if we’ve never played or plotted before. If I’m not interested or just too busy etc I promise I will let you know politely and not just leave you hanging!

If you want to play please send me a message or toss me a starter; I’m bad at paying attention to my follower count and probably didn’t notice your subtle arrival! Or thought you wanted to lurk idk. Say hi!

If you are a multimuse with a lot of characters or a lot of fandoms all on one url, I may not follow you because that tends to be overwhelming for me. It’s nothing personal nor a comment on your writing style; it’s just more than I can easily keep track of, myself. (That’s why mine are all on their own sideblogs.)

If I can’t read your blog (small text, low-contrast colors, etc) I will not interact with your character. I don’t have the best eyes and straining to read sucks all the fun out of rp. If you need any of my formatting or color choices adjusted for your own ease of accessibility please let me know! I will do so happily.

You can reblog any of my shit (headcanons, graphics, verses, meta, whatever) even if you’re a personal blog, I don’t care; it’s all one fandom imo. That said please don’t reblog my interaction threads with other people because most rp-ers do not like their things reblogged and I want to respect that. If I reblog anything of yours you do not want reblogged just let me know and I will delete it; I promise it’s just because I thought the thing was cool and got excited!

Interactions:

I am always up for trying new things so if you have a crazy idea, please hit me up! I promise I rarely disintegrate anyone.

I am happily open to interacting with Original Characters! I need to know who your character is though, so if you don’t have a bio or background I can find on your blog I’m not going to be interested.

I will not write smut with anyone under the age of eighteen.

If I ever do something that upsets or confuses or offends you, please let me know. It probably wasn’t intentional and I always want to be called out on problematic behavior because how else can I learn to do better? I promise to react apologetically, not defensively.

Formatting:

I’m a visual person so I like icons and gifs and will almost always incorporate them. If you don’t want to use images that’s cool with me, but I majored in comic book art so I enjoy the marriage of words with images. I should further admit that interactions with visuals do tend to keep me more excited than plain ones – I’m shallow!

I’m not a big fan of fancy formatting. I don’t mind if you use it but I don’t. Feel free to adjust my formatting to suit your aesthetic if that makes you more comfortable, but I’ll likely keep mine simple.

If you need any triggers tagged message me and I’ll do so gladly.

I am extremely uncomfortable with reylo due to the fact that I interpreted Rey as being analogous to Jaina Solo within the opening minutes of TFA. If you play either Kylo Ren or Rey and enjoy that ship, I ask that you not reference it in any interactions with my Finn, and furthermore that you tag it so that I can blacklist. Thank you!

Canon & AUs:

I have as of yet read very little of the expanded universe materials for the New Canon (a few comics, the Thrawn novel, etc). As such, my portrayal of Finn may at times be lacking in regards to supplemental canon information. Please never hesitate to inform me of any details relevant to your character or any ongoing/burgeoning threads. I appreciate that assistance!

As far as the Legends EU goes, I have read most of the old novels (excepting NJO period) and many of the Dark Horse comics but that is a lot of material and I do not promise to remember everything. Please let me know if I make a mistake or assumption you do not agree with; I promise I will not be offended!

I will generally default to putting Finn into the canon of the Sequel Trilogy because that is where he comes from, but I am happy to play him in Legends Canon too – just let me know! If you don’t indicate verse/time on a meme or starter, I might pick another verse (or make a new one) so please indicate where you want to play if you have a preference!

I also love making AUs whether canon-divergence or totally off-the-wall so please don’t hesitate to throw new verses my way! I love both plotting and winging-it when building new worlds, so don’t be shy!

Characters Relationships & Shipping:

Platonic Ships: For my interpretation of Finn, friendship takes precedence as the most important thing in his life right now. He never had a chance for much of that in his life before leaving the First Order, and he’s still getting used to the idea of caring about people and being loved in return. So please, bring me all the platonic ships – pals, mentors, comrades, buddies, frenemies – you can think of!

OTPs: My favorite ship would be Finn/Rey/Poe and I would be thrilled to play out some polyshipping. I also like the idea of Finn/Poe and Finn/Rey on their own, and while I don’t think TLJ gave us enough to build a Finn/Rose ship from I would be thrilled to explore that option properly in rp as well. Likewise Finn/Jannah although to be frank I like the idea of Ex-Stormtrooper BFFS even more than Ex-Stormtrooper Lovers, but really anything’s good there! Honestly provided that there is chemistry and a basis in friendship to build the ship from (whether that be formed via interaction or plotted ahead of time), I’m probably down. Interspecies ships with non-human characters are also welcome!

NOTPs: No teacher/student, adult/minor, or incestuous ships, please. Given Finn’s history, I am very unlikely to ship him with any First Order muses in anything outside a massively different AU but I’m not listing them as strict notps because let’s face it: I love AUs.

One-Way Ships: I will never force a ship on you. I expect the same courtesy in return. That said, you are more than welcome to have your character express unrequited romantic feelings toward mine. If it ends up crossing the edges of my comfort zone I’ll let you know!

Main Faceclaim: John Boyega

VERSES:

While I will readily play in canon verses, I am also a big fan of AUs and canon-divergent verses. If you don’t see something here that looks like your cup of caf know that I am always happy to plot out a new one! (Note that while I will always write Finn as being Force Sensitive, he will not always know he is and thus his connection with the Force will vary from verse to verse. Any questions, ask!)

SEQUEL TRILOGY VERSES:

Pulled the Trigger (alt-TFA): FN-2187 did not enjoy the battle – the slaughter – on Jakku, but he did what he was trained for. It didn’t matter that it made him sick. He obediently returned to Jakku to search for a droid and found more than he’d bargained for: a girl who thrashed half his unit with nothing but a stick. 2187 eventually got the drop on her but Kylo Ren’s impatience sent an airstrike, and in the ensuing chaos 2187 had no option but to pretend the reason he hadn’t shot Rey was because he was a Resistance sympathizer. They fled together and returned to the Finalizer to rescue the droid’s master. 2187 figured he would tag along and turn them in as soon as he got a chance…but they succeeded in their mission, and the longer he spent with the Resistance, the more he began to think he didn’t want to leave. Too bad he’s already reported their destination to the First Order…

The Newest Hope (alt-TFA): Finnick Peckhum has always been able to hear the voice of the Force. For years, he tried to ignore it – but eventually the call was too loud. Finn followed it Ahch-To, to Luke Skywalker. The self-exiled Jedi Master was reluctant to train a new student after Kylo Ren, but even he could not deny the will of the Force itself and gave-in, teaching Finn the Jedi arts – but another call summoned him back. The young Jedi Knight arrived on Jakku just in time to help a scavenger escape a First Order patrol. Finn heard the Force in Rey too, and knew he had to train her in the ways of the Force – and to find the Resistance led by Luke’s sister, Leia. With a Jedi Knight and his Padawan on their side, the Resistance finally stands a real chance. Together he and Rey will take the fight to Kylo Ren, intending to right the balance he upset with his turn to the Dark…one way or the other.

Another Kriffing Farmboy (alt-TFA): growing-up with a loving, hard-working family on a planet so far from galactic civilization it might as well not even be on the charts, Finn Peckhum never gave much thought to politics – until the First Order bombed Ennth and destroyed everything he ever loved. Frightened of their overwhelming might, Finn gave no thought to revenge until yet another low-paying freighter job took him to Jakku where he crossed paths with a droid and a scavenger desperate for a ride off-world. Agreeing to smuggle them in the ship he worked on in exchange for a hefty reward seemed like a chance to safely tweak the First Order’s nose until they blew up that ship, too, leaving Finn and his new allies to flee in the first wreck they could get their hands on. As things got more and more dangerous, Finn kept meaning to leave – but somehow, he never got around to it, and the next thing he knew General Organa was handing him a blaster and welcoming him to the fight…

There Is Another (alt post-TFA): while the lightsaber never called to him the way it did Rey, something helped him retain his humanity through the First Order’s brainwashing; something helped him hold his own against Kylo Ren with a weapon he barely understood…and that something was the Force. While Rey was off seeking Master Skywalker, General Organa helped tutor Finn in his own Force skills while his body knitted itself back together under the tender ministrations of Resistance medtechs. He might never be able to able to best a true master of the Force, not without more thorough training anyway, but Kylo Ren was no Darth Vader. And with the new lightsaber he’s just completed, Finn can’t wait for a rematch with the monster who almost severed his spine and broke his teacher’s heart…

Trusted Leadership (alt-TLJ): most of the Resistance’s leadership was lost in the explosion that wounded General Organa, but General Antilles had always been a cockpit warrior himself and hadn’t been anywhere near the ship’s bridge. When Poe took the plan he, Finn, and Rose had concocted to him, Wedge was happy to put his own resources behind the scheme and with a reliable slicer in tow, they infiltrated the Supremacy and shut down the tracking program, allowing the Resistance to escape. Holdo was furious with Antilles but he had the rank to whether her temper, and thanks to the timely arrival of Rey and Chewbacca in the Millennium Falcon, the infiltration crew made it back to the fleet only a little the worse for wear. The Resistance went to ground to lick its wounds and plan its next strike against the First Order, and Finn was officially inducted into the fight by a recovered Organa.

The First Pebble (alt post-TLJ): no one ever gave much thought to stormtroopers as people, not the First Order or the Resistance either. They were just there, anonymous and disposable shock troopers…but they weren’t. And Finn proved that both to the galaxy and to his former comrades. Within the stormtrooper ranks, his choice started a revolution. When word got around that he had even bested the mighty Phasma, not once but twice, well…it made all but the most strident diehards take notice. Now Finn wasn’t just some ordinary defector; he was a rallying cry. The first time a stormtrooper unit got in touch with a request for help defecting, Finn thought it was a fluke – but Poe Dameron knew better. He knew this was the start of an avalanche that might bring the First Order down from the inside…if Finn is brave enough to make himself the face of this new revolution.

Matched Lightsabers (alt TROS): in the wake of the Resistance’s near-obliteration on Crait, the survivors have to work harder than ever – which in Finn’s case means more than just running missions and pitching revolt to stormtroopers. It means training with Rey and Leia in the use of the Force. He was an uncertain, reluctant apprentice – but Leia was adamant that he learn, and Finn could no more say no to the General than to the Force itself. Confidence was his biggest hurdle. What business did a former stormtrooper have learning to master the Jedi arts? It wasn’t until he and Rey walked onto Exogol that Finn finally admitted to himself that he was a Jedi – a declaration that nearly killed him. Together, they managed to defeat the half-resurrected Palpatine and restore peace to the galaxy. Now Finn faces his biggest challenge: how to teach as well as learn.

The Next Jedi (post TROS): Finn never expected to become the first apprentice of the New Jedi Order – never really wanted it, if he’s honest. But the Force had been whispering in his ear for years and eventually, that whisper became a shout he could not ignore. Even with the First Order crushed to ash and dust, there is plenty to be done patching the galaxy back into shape and building a new government to keep people both safe and free; plenty of things for Finn to focus on instead of his training, working with Poe and Rose and Kaydel and Chewbacca…but Rey is stubborn, and so is the Force. Even if it scares him as much as it entices him, Finn is going to have to learn…and alongside his friend and teacher, someday construct a lightsaber of his own.

Stormtrooper Advocate (post TROS): Finn knows that Rey wants him to focus on his Jedi training while Poe and Rose want his help with their diplomatic efforts – but Finn knows who really needs him now: all the lost stormtroopers recruits who need to dig their way out of the First Order’s brainwashing and learn to be people. It’s a lot of trauma to recover from; a lot of indoctrination to unlearn. Alongside Jannah and her crew of defectors, Finn is spearheading the reclamation effort. Whether that means designing programs for prisoners, negotiating cease-fires with stranded units, taking whole bases down with stun-blasts for forceful deprogramming, or just giving broken kids someone to talk to, Finn won’t give up on these people. They're his people and it’s his responsibility to save them. If he doesn’t, who else is going to care?

Running All His Life (alt post-TROS): as long as Finn could remember, he’s been running away from something…but it wasn’t until facing Kylo Ren in battle that he realized that something was the Force – and that realization terrified him. Watching Rey struggle to master Leia’s teachings and learning more about how Ben Solo had become the monster in his nightmares only cemented that fear, and Finn did everything he could to deny what he’d long known was true: he could feel the Force, too. He knew he was being a coward, letting Rey face that burden alone; lashed-out at Poe for keeping secrets about his past out of guilt for his own silence…but he couldn’t, daren’t, admit the truth to anyone. When Rey tried to tell him she could sense the Force in him, he denied it; when she started searching for Force Sensitives to train, he threw himself into his work rebuilding a galactic government alongside Poe, Rose, and Jannah instead. But every day the voice of the Force in his head is getting louder; how long can he keep running?

A Knight Of Ren (alt Trilogy): the First Order tests all their stolen “recruits” for Force potential, and they found it in the one designated FN-2187. Trained alongside the next generation of the Knights of Ren – mostly taken from the First Order’s youthful conscripts, some gathered along the way – to wield the Dark Side and serve Snoke and Kylo Ren, Finn was loyal and devoted…and troubled. While he was a strong Force user, he could never fully commit to the power of the Dark Side; never completely embrace it. Knowing that his doubts made him weak, he did his best to push them away…but then he met the girl from Jakku, and his whole world went sideways.

LEGENDS EU VERSES:

Rebel Defector: just because snubfighter jockeys and ranking officers made the splashiest exits when they left Imperial service didn’t mean they were the only ones. For stormtrooper conscript FN-2187, the Empire was the only option – until stunts like the Rand Ecliptic and monstrosities like Alderaan changed his mind. Getting away from the Empire alive wasn’t easy, but when Finn was assigned guard duty for a Rebel prisoner he knew his chance had come. Talking half his unit into coming with him and dosing the other half in stun blasts, he marched the prisoner onto a Lambda-shuttle for transfer to the Lusankya…and then the rebellious stormtroopers overpowered the Imperial pilots, opened the Rebel’s binders, and jumped to freedom. Adjusting to service in the Rebellion’s infantry was difficult, but not as difficult as carrying-out Imperial orders. And maybe someday, he’ll make up for what he did for the Empire and can go on to have a normal life at last. (for Rebellion and New Republic-era interactions)

More Coming Soon! like literally as soon as soon as someone asks for or suggests one, I love AUs. Don’t be shy!

[heromanvasco]

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Taken from meme: [x] ||No longer accepting||

Warning: This will get long and I will be very mad as I recount this story. Sorry for me getting really riled up about it, but ughhhhhhhhh I just can't. I have to tell the full story to really get the point across.

OKAY SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A PERSON. This person literallybecame the bane of my existence even though I didn't actually interact withthem in the truest sense.

Even though I wish for nothing more than for them to trip over arock and land on a pointy rock, I am still a bit grateful towards them. I'llget on that a lil later down the line.

Let's start with how I know them. As we may probably know, I'vestarted Tumblr rp'ing as an indie, with Haru Miura as my muse. A lot of theissues I have with tumblr rp'ing came about on her blog mainly. Ahahahathere were some hard times, but I stuck with it. I love Haru too much to justditch her, in other words. I'm a stubborn mule, what can I say?

Anyways, she's from the series: Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn! andthere are a lot of attractive male charas in the series. This fandom is justnotorious for the yaoi shipping. Like it's very hardcore. There are sometimeshetero ships too but not a lot of it.

Let's put it this way: I've been turned away many times with the'but my muse is gay' excuse. Like---- okay? Did I ask to get in their pants?No. Canonically, Haru is die-hard in love with 'Tsuna-san' so what now? Don'tuse that against me. B[

Again, lots of very attractive male charas... and these musesattracted a certain muse from the DNangel series. (yes the same one I mentionedin a different ask if you read that one) Daisuke has forever been ruined and Irefuse to even try to read the series because the situation just gave me somuch stress.

So the muse was set to a very young age, most probably the canonage. I forget if that meant he was 16 or younger. I don't know the series so Idon't know the age. Let me tell you, I have so many issues with the person. SO.MANY.

Where to start? There is the fact that even without eveninteracting with the muses to start, they'd instantly try to form relationswith them. Sending some suggestive memes or asks. You cannot just go to aGokudera and have Daisuke glomp him. It doesn't work that way? If you knowGokudera, you should know that he does NOT take kindly to people who act toofamiliar.

The mun could NOT understand for the life of her that mun=/=muse. They kept sending anons about why are they so mean? Be nice to that'Daisuke kid'. Um... no? How about you calm down a bit and actually try tointeract rather than jumping the gun? It was in their rules they wantCHEMISTRY. They want to take things slow and not jump the gun. You broke so manyof their rules. You kept sending in anon asks and even if they tried to talk toyou on im, you'd try to play all the pity cards.

I will NEVER EVER live down the fact that you told someone: I'mtaking medication because of you. It's because of you that I'm depressed so I'mtaking pills.

EXCUSE MOI!?!?!?!?!??!?? What is wrong withyou??????????????????? SHE ACTUALLY LEFT TUMBLR RP BECAUSE OF YOU. I LOST AFRIEND BECAUSE OF YOU. Then you have the gall to say that you never said it?I've seen the screenshots, don't mess with me.

I do NOT condone underaged things at all. Your muse is 16 andthere is no indication as to whether or not you (the mun) were underaged aswell. Of course people will be nervous about the way you kept trying to force18+ content on them. If you are underaged, that's illegal and that can makethings very complicated. People kept telling you they were uncomfortable withit, but all you'd say is: "Age is only a number!~"

YEAH? WELL, JAIL IS JAIL!

Now, I can think of at least 5 muses that I know were heavilyaffected by this person. I know for a FACT that at least 2 left because of themand their constant harassment. A very close friend of mine had to constantlytoggle between enabling and disabling anon asks because they'd send so many.

We don't understand how much anger and stress this caused me. Ireally detest seeing my friends bothered. Having two of them leave the rp sceneforever makes me so angry. They didn't really ever rp with any female muses.Only one that I saw and she was a space sheep alien... I'd show proof but theblogs have long since been deleted---.

Now, it isn't to say that they only targeted KHR muses. Therewere others too from DBZ, Jack Frost, Pitch, a final fantasy character (who Ican't remember), and many... many more.

If you didn't reply to them quickly enough, they would get madat you in im. They'd try to guilt trip you into answering quicker by sayingthings like they felt hated, why don't you like them? Are you avoiding them?Things of that nature. I've seen things of that nature from various people Italked to. I talked to a lot of people about their experiences with this mun.

You could see their ooc posts talking about how they felt and itsounded like this person just had a lot of self-confidence and perhaps trustissues. I know how that is. I felt maybe they were just misunderstood orsomething. IDK. I felt they could be given a chance to talk if someone tried toapproach them slowly. (more on this later)

Though I would look around and see all kinds of interactionswith other characters. Muns getting the same kind of harassments. It was evenWORSE when any of these muses interacted with a certain muse from the KHRfandom. Apparently the muses were dating? idk. Either way, Daisuke washorrendously jealous and territorial.

If you so much as interacted with that KHR muse or had anythingremotely flirty in thread, an anon was sure to tell you to back off. They'dgrill you with questions about 'how do you feel about them?' 'are you datingthem?' things like that. It's annoying. I saw those messages so much. That KHRmuse is sort of a main character so it's hard to NOT interact with them if youare in the KHR fandom?

Like what do you want? Chill out, boo.

I've seen many friends of mine just being harassed by anonsbecause they interacted with them. Hilariously enough that other mun didnothing about it. Even if people asked them to talk to that person. Make themstop harassing people. She apparently doesn't like drama and that's fine--- butif you are the REASON because a lot of the drama because your friend refuses tochill--- That is quite literally your problem.

I do not believe you are being a good friend if you allow suchbehavior to continue. Even if she had a reason to acting that horribly topeople, you could always try to explain to people so they understand. Whenpeople understand, they may be more willing to forgive. The fact that she didabsolutely nothing did absolutely nothing to help either of their case. In theend many people tried to avoid both muns.

I played a female muse so it was fine for me to continueinteracting with them though. I never got hassled by them. I unfollowed thatKHR muse the moment I saw that she went along with doing 18+ stuff with thatunderage muse. I personally couldn't do it. It made me think of something in myown past and it made me feel horrible. I still interact with them, but I don'tfollow em.

So I saw their condescending attitude on many blogs. This onepitch in particular kept getting hounded over why they wouldn't be kind to Daisuke.(We realize this is PITCH, yes?) They were getting hounded by anons over whythey wouldn't give Daisuke (a kid) a chance. Like, it's illegal, that's why.

They weren't replying quickly enough to the threads they onlydid in ask format. The person was getting upset with how 'slow' they werebeing. They had time for 'other people' so why were you avoiding their threads?Why can't you reply already? Then it happened: "I'll give you one morechance to thread with me."

Yes, that is what was sent. I'm dead serious. I got sent thattoo so I mean, yeah.

Let's move away from other people and let's talk about ME. As Isaid, they don't interact with male muses. The only muse that I could possiblyplay as (and was super duper attractive) was Shugarl. I had a lot of caps in mycomputer because I like his face.

I sort of rp'ed as him 2 years prior to that but it didn'treally last as the only friend I interacted with left tumblr rp because ofdrama. So I shelved Shugarl and the Knights from the 'Legend of the Sun Knight'series. So I was like okay why not.

They do know of me from Haru's blog, so I had to make analterego mun. I named them Jay. This version acts like Neo when she's justtired and done with the world. I had to pretend to be a new person. Iinteracted with a close friend who was hassled by Daisuke a ton, and then Iinteracted with the KHR muse that Daisuke apparently is shipping with. That'show Daisuke took the bait and contacted me.

It didn't take long. I mean if you look at how attractiveShugarl is, wouldn't you also bite? lol

Anyways, I tried to talk to them, but unfortunately at the timeI was really sick. I was on a lot of medication because of my gastritis. It wasmost probably stress induced but also because of my diet? When I'm stressed, Icrave spicy food. If you know those super hot fire noodles... let's say I livedon that for a while lol. So yeah it got bad. Just drinking water had methrowing up everything in my stomach. I lost 15+ pounds in under a month.

It was bad. My one medication had a side effect of extremedrowsiness. Let me tell you, EXTREME was right. I was constantly just passingout. So I wasn't around much to talk or thread. Let's say that started gettingthem mad.

Why wasn't I responding? Did I hate them? Stop ignoring them. Ikept having to sorta apologize for being 'busy' aka I was super sick but Ididn't want to admit that. I'm stupid like that, okay?

So I kept asking them how they wanted to interact. I didn't knowa thing about their muse so I asked for their about page. Or even a rules page.They didn't have one. Too much work. Okay no, they had an about page but it wasliterally like their url, the name, age, and gender or something. A very simplebio.

They told me to read wiki to learn about the muse. Are youkidding me? No rules because why do they need one? Mistake number 1. They keptsaying they read rules of many blogs but we know they didn't. They keptbreaking them. It was in Jay's rules to not pester them too much about activitybecause he was a busy college student.

Did that stop them? Nope. //squint

Now let me tell you, even if I was sick, I still visited tumblrevery day. So making them wait for 3-5 hours was too long. I was going to begraduating and I had finals. YEAH, I'M BUSY. I was also super duper sick. Iwon't be online every waking moment, please. Did that stop them from getting somad at me about it? Nope.

I told them that I felt that they were guilt tripping me becausethey kept lamenting over how people don't want to interact with them. They keepgetting 'bullied' by people. I told them that I felt they were guilt trippingme at the moment. They kept saying that they weren't before they blocked me.Then a week passed and they talked to me like 'sorry I accidentally blockedyou!'

Sure. okay.

So I was like 'okay we can thread but I want to talk to youabout how I felt you were guilt tripping me.'

INSTA-BLOCKED.

I'm not kidding. I got blocked by just that. Do you understandhow much my animosity spiked because of that? My blood was curdling I was somad.

So another like half a week passed and they say something alongthe lines of:

"I'll give you another chance, do you want to thread with meor not?"

"I already told you that I want to thread with you. Youkeep asking me this. This is the 5th time you asked me. How many times do Ihave to tell you yes? Do you not understand that I'm busy? I'm a collegestudent. I'm not always online. I also told you saying things like that isreally guilt trippy."

Insta-blocked. I was mad, so I went off so I can understand theblock.

Still.

After being blocked for the THIRD time, I soft-blocked them.They tried to follow me again and sent a message: hi! :) This time Iinsta-blocked them. Not about that life.

I love how they always started and talked with cat emojis. Bylove, I MEAN I HATE IT WITH A DIE HARD PASSION. It was like they cared fornothing that other people felt. It was their way or the high way. They couldn'tbother to learn to do anything for other people.

Don't get me started on the fact that they didn't tag anythingand they NEVER EVER CUT THREADS. NEVER. Do you know how hard it was for me tofind anything on that blog? One thread was over 100 notes long and it wasn'tcut. Let that sink in.

It was long.

I had them followed on Shugarl's first blog. Do you know what mydash looked like? It was one-liner 100+ note uncut thread HELL.

So in other words, I wanted to talk to them and be a friend.Someone that they could talk to. I tried to talk to them many times but theykept saying 'I'm feeling uncomfortable so I don't want to talk about thisanymore'.

Dude, one time all I said was: "I think you should tryputting up a rules page. A lot of people like seeing one."

"I feel uncomfortable so I want to talk about somethingelse."

.... wut. Like, WHAT? I was just... giving you advice? It wasthe start of our interactions too. I just-- what?

I kept asking them if they wanted me to write the starter andthey kept holding back like 'I want to talk it out first' because they didn'tknow my muse. So I explained to them and they kept asking stupid questions.

"So he's an angry human?" "I just told you he's a demon. Like, he’s a real demon." "Oh okay! :) So he's got special powers. He's got angelic powers?""No... I just told you he's a demon." "What powers does he have?" "He makes use of mathematical equations to summon blades and otherthings." "Oh okay."

5 mins later."Can you tell me more about his fire powers?" "... He doesn't have fire powers??? Are you even reading any of what I'msaying? You are the one who asked me to tell you about my muse. It's rude foryou to not be properly reading." "I don't feel comfortable anymore, so I'm going to go to bed. Bye! =^.^="

I legit felt like I got cancer from this person.

I'm so serious. I forever laugh how they tried to make mepromise to be nice to Daisuke.

"I can't promise that. Shugarl is a demon. He's not nice,but he can be nice towards kids sometimes. You need to make Daisukebehave."

"I can make him glomp him and have marshmallows!"

"He will literally kick Daisuke if you do that. I told youhe's not nice."

"He's such a meanie!"

"He's a literal demon."

It was like talking to a 5 year old.

So in the end, I tried to interact with them but they drove meso insane we didn't even get that far before I finally blocked them forever.

---

TLDR: I tried to give them a chance but I couldn't do it. Mypatience reached it's limit and I blocked them. This is the first and only rpblog I ever blocked to truly block them and not to softblock. All because ofthis person, the name 'Daisuke' makes me feel unjust rage, and I'll never everlook at DNangel the same way. I'll never even attempt to touch the serieseither.

[terriblevalveartandocs]

About Valve OCs and the blog

This has been on my mind for a while.

This blog never got a satisfying end in my books, and I’m sure for other readers as well. Even though closure is a myth perpetuated by mainstream media, I will make this post to try to rectify past mistakes and general truancy of this blog. I have my own suspicions that most of my readers are dead (considering all of the porn bots are now starting to follow me), so I write this post in the darkness of the night into the void that is Tumblr. Read my cry if you care.

Firstly, this blog will never update again. There are multiple factors that have led to this blog’s extinction and I think they’re important to address

Motivation

This blog took up a large chunk of my life back when it was active. Don’t get me wrong, bad art still gets me to cringe and I find myself on occasion still pining over weird ocs and art styles on Deviantart. However, maintaining it as a blog with daily updates became a chore for me along with promising critiques of ocs and such. I’ve come to discover that I can’t do what I love as “””work”””. While bad art still remains a passion for me, I don’t see myself continuing this in blog format.

OCs have changed

The OC market has changed. Base art has definitely taken a downturn in the past few years and you’re more likely to see people hand-drawing their ocs or writing them out. Thanks with the culture of memeing about bootleg fandom ocs (This is my own original character blonic, donut steels) , it seems that people are more drawn towards creating their own worlds and characters rather than shoving their mary sue into their current fan favorite content. These are good changes in terms of originality for artists and writers in my opinion.

However, a lot of the formats for OCs have changed as well. There tends to be an emphasis on their sexuality and race in OC culture now. I don’t consider that a bad thing but I’d rather not poke that hornet’s nest of gender identity and race of fictional characters. What used to be the standard straight, bi, gay has expanded into other territories that I am unfamiliar with and now we have more ocs outside of the standard white chick but with Japanese last name because the creator really likes naruto. Again, this just seems to be the trend and I think my last few revival posts kinda show them.

Valve as a games publisher

LOL when’s half life 3???

Valve has definitely moved from being a game developer to a digital distributor.  Steam definitely seems to be their focus outside of Hat/Weapon Skin collecting and online gambling (and also their weird consoles/controllers???). Not that I would continue this blog if they released more content (They published another update to the TF2 comic, can’t wait for that to get updated in a year).

Along with this slump of their own original content, this has led to a slump in original characters for their franchises. There are not as many fan ocs and art isn’t being produced for their franchises (except maybe with comic updates for TF2 and nostalgia for old games).

This blog was created at the optimal time imo with L4D2 still being fresh, TF2 still having an active userbase, and Portal 2 giving some great content in terms of creative material.

Also I’m not interested in reviewing Dota 2 art and I don’t think there are enough Counterstrike ocs.

Negativity

I don’t know if this blog was a source of positive or negative energy. On one hand, I was ridiculing people’s art without much hesitation and not acknowledging how much time and effort that might have been put in by the artist. But on the other hand, it provided laughs for people during its duration and gave me a creative outlet in terms of humor, arguments, and writing. I think I did my best to avoid any harassment for these artists by removing any watermarks that might lead any rude reader to them, but I’ll never know if they suffered any bullying. Obviously I’m not going to put this on my resume as work experience but I like to think that this blog help think critically about their content, regardless of what role you played on the blog be it me, a submitter, an observer, or the subject. Maybe if some supreme being questions why I started this blog in the afterlife, I can tell them I did it for the lolz.

In the end, I think I did more harm than any general good for the world and nobody will really understand that weird pain if I try to repent for it publicly. I don’t know of any key examples of this (or really remember because I haven’t done this shit in years), but I do apologize if I ruined anyone’s ambitions for writing/drawing.

I’m glad there is a stronger hugbox mentality for artists who aren’t very good and I embrace that style of encouragement. I guess my only concern is veering too far into that and just embracing everything as perfect and awesome and never improving. Criticism has its place in society.

Perhaps the real lesson is that who the hell gives a shit about what you post on the internet. Why should you give a stranger any control over how much your art is worth? However, this also gives the argument into determining if any of your art is worth anything based on your preconceived notions on your art’s merits since you are only a stranger to me. Why should you tell me that your art is valid and equal to anything else produced when it looks like you drew it with your tablet pen stuck up your ass?

Maybe we all just need to learn to stop giving invisible voices the power to ruin our emotional states and work on our self satisfaction.

Growing up????

I wrote most of this blog like a million years ago. It was a stronger part of my identity and a part of a community in a way of similar blogs in the same style. But I don’t really relate to the content as much I used to. Valve games are still near and dear to me, but they’re more nostalgic than my current flame and muse. I feel the same happened to other blogs in the same vein as mine. Perhaps also age and the changes of time led to our own focuses in our own lives than looking at the scribbles of some stranger on the internet. While it’s still one of my internet past times, it is not my main focus in life to critique bad art (unless it starts paying serious dosh). I just don’t relate to the words and passions anymore. In a way, this is my own cringe that artists produce when they’re young on Deviantart. It’s kind of funny in a weird way.

This blog will continue to remain up but I’ll probably move into another blog of some sort (I accidentally made this my primary blog and I can’t delete it). It sort of became my main lurking blog and I guess its time that I make a less weird not ghost blog (I’m probably confusing a lot of the people that I follow with my constant hearts and comments).

I guess I wanna say thanks for all of the people who followed this blog and its contents. I probably wouldn’t have continued for very long without followers so you’re all to blame for this negative impact I’ve made on the world (jkjk). I like to think we’re connected with our mutual spirit in improving how we create things and wanting to see improvement in others. I think this blog helped me see the dumbest of things and not be afraid to say it was dumb and I hope it did for you as well. I also hope it brought you laughs in the content that was displayed or the humor I attempted to convey. It did genuinely warm my heart whenever I got a heart, reply, reblog, or messages to keep up the work. It kind of makes me sad to think that I left rather abruptly, but better blogs have died quicker and quieter. Simple fact of life really. Thank god my ego keeps me in check to constantly remind people of my existence.

To any artists out there, bad art is a fact of life. You do not come out of the womb knowing how to do two point perspective and 3d shapes. You mess up doing 3d shapes each any every time until you get it and then move on to the next thing you’re not good at. There’s a common TIL leddit post about how Michaelangelo burnt all of his old works so nobody would know how bad he was when he was starting out. I don’t know how true that is, but that’s not a great mentality to have for your art. Seeing that bridge between your former self and current self is important for seeing self growth in your skills. Plus you won’t have those juicy likes and comments on instagram when you do the art redraw and show how far you come like how can you skimp on that you dingus.

All of the great content creators right now love showing off the shitty art they did as kids because it gives them a sense of progress in their work and their accomplishments and continues to drive them in their own works. (unless you’re rebecca sugar and drew ed edd and eddy shipping porn lol). Heck, some of them even take the stuff that was once cliche characters and expanded on them in their own Original Universe Donut Steel. And thanks to their own Original Universe Donut Steel, now tens of thousands of impressionable young artists can look at it and say “that’s awesome, but it would be way better if there was my own character...”.

OCs are weirdly one of the ultimate ways of fan expression where you enjoy the content so much you wish you were part of it. Even though it’s very disjointed and out of place, it’s usually done in a place of love for the franchise or the characters. So for those of you that are doing that still, keep at it I guess.

Fan art is sorta in the same way where you enjoy something so much that you want to replicate the style/themes/characters in your own or the content’s style. While not as extreme, it’s still in the same place of love and people generally like that more than original shit anyways so continue to make it so I can buy your posters at anime conventions without supporting the original creator lol. 

If you want to harass me further for my sins against budding artists, I guess I’ll link my personal blog if anyone actually asks me. I also wrote this at 3 am so it is extremely unedited and awful but it’s the most “pure” for my usual diatribe. Consider it my first OC for the blog.

Good night, good life, and farewell.

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 4

I channeled En for about a week and was too lazy to quit playing Resident Evil and finish this liveblog buuuut better late than never, right?! I may only manage one of these a week but I just had a bunch of fanfic ideas (unrelated to watching the episode) so I figured I’d press onward and finish these. Mostly cuz I’m really interested in getting to season 2 because the Beppus are my favorite. But for now- IT’S THE EPISODE WHERE THEY GET BABYFIED! OMG CUTENESS ABOUND.

PS- I love the discussion that happened from my previous liveblog! Thank you @nardaviel, @angry-jewish-magical-girl (whom I cannot tag for some reason), @magiccatprincess and everyone else who contributed :3 ( @thatlittledandere I absolutely loved your flailing in your tags lol <3) Reactions make this a whole lot more fun for me- especially because the screencapping and formatting is so tedious. But anyway! ONWARD! I doubt this episode I’ll get that deep but WHO KNOWS.

OH HERE WE GO FEELS AND BACKSTORY

LOOK AT THE BABIES

Although why are they unsupervised in a field all alone as like elementary schoolers WTF WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?

Cliche wish upon a star!

Srz tho their voices are SO CUTE- who did they get for the baby voices??? 

Look at how cute blushy baby Atchan is!

BUT I AM A CHILD ATCHAN SO LOGICAL YET SO MUCH SHADE

CUTE BABY KINCHAN AND HIS ‘JUST IN CASE’ WISH AND HIS BLUSHING

Seriously look at this smol child. I think when I first watched the series this was the scene where I was first like “AWWW” at any of the SC.

-aaaaaand cut off

“Don’t mind me I’m just being broody and emo in the office with the lights out looking at the stars while I reminisce about my first love childhood friend who ditched me to go eat fucking curry with a pleb NBD I’M FINE”

That Arima Sass(tm) I didn’t remember him being so... memorable with his lines until this rewatch lol (oops I feel bad for ignoring him the first time around he’s so cute)

"Arima I s2g if you say one more word I will put snails on everything you own”

I didn’t cap this but in hindsight of the end of the season, his wish going from friendship to world domination is a perfect place for the “well that escalated quickly” meme…

Tickling Wombat looks so fun lol

I think I had a point about the ‘stink’ debate but I have since forgotten it so here have some silly screencaps of Wombat freaking out and Yumoto being adorable

QUICK SOMEONE WHO’S NEVER WATCHED BOUEIBU EXPLAIN WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE.

I mostly just love their faces lololololol I laughed for like 5 minutes after taking this

Side note- Poor Wombat- he’s a sentient creature that gets treated like a pet/plaything/child- no wonder he runs away from Yumoto every chance he gets

THE BIRTH OF WOM-SAN

More screencaps with no explanation other than I laughed harder than I should at them. THE EYES KIND OF REMIND ME OF HAYAO MIYAZAKI WHY?

Dads that are 12,000% done with this shit

En’s views on childishness/high school students in this scene is kind of telling- he seems overly image-conscious, yet he doesn’t want to be seen as old. Maybe Atsushi’s worrying is rubbing off on him?

Yumoto did you forget that you fight monsters on a weekly basis??? What ELSE is the definition of Superhero???

I wonder how they feel looking at basically a NAKED DEAD BODY all the time. It’s probably not fu- WAIT.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING

BUT WHEN I TOOK THIS SCREENCAP I CAME TO THE HORRIFYING REALIZATION THAT TAWARAYAMA-SENSI LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DAD

MY DAD USED TO BE A MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHER AND HAS GRAY POOFY HAIR AND A MUSTACHE AND NOW I CANNOT UNSEE IT

Cupkayke.exe has stopped working

anyway

WHAT IS IT WITH THE SIDE CHARACTERS AND FREAKY EYES IN THIS SHOW

Io all about that money. Why do I find this exchange hilarious?

WAS THAT TEASING

OMG YUMOTO AND HIS SENPAIS THIS IS ADORABLE

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

Also I JUST NOTICED that Ryuu and Io’s washing supplies are color coded by their hair/battle lover outfits omg

Who was it who had that headcanon that their battle lover outfits were chosen because of their favorite colors?

Lololol well Ryuu is the youngest other than Yumoto, isn’t he?

En does have a point

But Ryuu’s views on his looks here are interesting- he knows he’s stereotypically ‘young’ looking, so he makes do with what he has and turns up the charm to 100

I mean... he’s good at it, too. Look at that last screencap.

Also Yumoto in that screencap is splashing water through his hands LOL EVEN IN THE BACKGROUND HE’S ENFORCING THE CHILDISH NARRATIVE

…what was the point of Yumoto interrupting there?

Did I miss a joke?

More on En’s view of age/maturity and Yumoto blowing bubbles like a child in the background

I can definitely see where Yumoto would rub some people the wrong way here- his childishness is being played too heavy-handedly to just be for laughs

But it’s necessary Boueibu format foreshadowing

Ryuu looking so cool, so casual washing his feet

HOW CHILD HOW

Also I definitely noticed the pink bath supplies in this screencap

Senior must not be a common term for students in Japanese

Lololol Ryuu so cheeky

I feel like this line would get localized into something really cheesy or lame like “old man” when dubbed into English

There we have it.

ALSO BUTTS

En’s age crisis- again, he has a desire not to be seen as immature and is quick to call out childish behavior in others, but the moment his attention is brought to how he might be percieved as ‘old’, he obsesses on the negative aspects of it instead of the positive- which he was stressing as the better option only moments before.

This is really interesting but I don’t quite know what to make of it. If he doesn’t want to be seen as childish, but doesn’t want to be seen as old, what does he want to be seen as? Simply exactly his age? Boy, En, I have news for you... unless you’re a genetic miracle, no one looks exactly their age.

Seriously I’m twenty-fucking-five and I STILL get carded everywhere because I look 18 T_____T

YUMOTO YOU DON’T NEED TO BE BALD

GLAMOR SHOTS TIME

STARTING WITH RYUU’S ASS

I KNOW EVERYBODY AND THEIR BROTHER HAS TAKEN THIS SCREENCAP BUT DAMMIT JUST LET ME-

...bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt~

Yumoto your laugh is creepy

Again Io being sexy

En you aren’t fooling anyone, Atsushi’s using his glamor shot to worry about you- even tho my screencap apparently missed the caption

And then they keep splashing like kids lol

What a nickname

I’ve noticed the SC almost always speaks in a certain order- Arima, Akoya, Kinshirou

Is this on purpose or just arbitrary?

…morning cuddles…

Gora: “...dafuq kind of club is this defense club???”

AND DIRECTLY CONTRADICTING THE LAST EPISODE YUMOTO IS NOT INTERESTED IN PICKING UP GIRLS

This definitely supports the ‘cumpulsory heterosexuality’ theory, however; Yumoto last episode was talking about girls in a polite, “this is what I’m supposed to do” kind of way. This episode, he must feel freer with his feelings that he can admit that he’s not interested to his senpais.

Or maybe cuddling Wombat is just WAY more fun than all of those things lol

EN STOP IT YOU ARE NOT OLD-

OH. It’s a vanity thing, is it?

Wow Atsushi talk about throwing shade

Srz is that any way to talk to your boyfriend???

I wish I knew what animes they were referencing - I took a bunch of caps here but they’re not really relevant I guess unless someone wants to tell me what they’re talking about

En basically called Atsushi an otaku ffft

WHY ARE YOU PETTING EN YUMOTO

HIS HAIR IS NOWHERE NEAR AS FLUFFY AS YOURS

Though En definitely looks cute when he’s being tickled... ok Yumoto carry on

….Ryuu what are you talking about approximately no one is fooled by your indifference

TICKLE FIGHT

This scene is adorable - THE BLUSHES

So many laughs

YUMOTO NOTICING THAT AND NOT HAVING ANY REACTION

Aww they’re all so smol

Also the rest of them, their eyes were kept proportionate to their bodies but LOOK AT EN

His eyes are like waaaaay bigger and innocent

Double AWWW

The nodding at Yumoto’s stupidity lolol

Tho Yumoto still manages to be adorable wtf look at his happy face

Your hair is VERY pink like why

BABY TRANSFORMATIONS AWWW

But seriously the ‘love making’ thing sounds SOOOO inappropriate coming out of smol Yumoto

Like when Wombat said it I cringed

If it weren’t for the gutter my mind would be homeless

THE BAGGY CLOTHES

Hi there, fourth wall

Omg Ryuu why are you so cute

SMOL POWERS

Tripping on the clothes or perhaps because of little legs

NOW IO IS TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS STAHHHHHHP

No seriously look at his face!

Though his pupils are two different sizes in this screencap lol

CHILD ENDANGERMENT DUDE

Atchan with more fourth wall breaking

And they figured out the enemy very quickly! They seem more observant as children than they are regularly

Okay, they say kindergarteners but they look like 3 year olds or babies

I CANNOT at Ryuu’s hair spikes getting smaller and less detailed

Also his face reminds me that his voice in this scene is hysterical

THE MODESTY LEAVES

ATSUSHI WHY IS YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR STOP THAT

En and the fourth wall for the third time

RYUU WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOUR PENIS

And you’d think image-conscious Atsushi would be the one most embarrassed about being naked babies in public but NO APPARENTLY IO IS SUPER SHY

Sad baby Io sounds so pathetic

And Ryuu hardly seems worried

Yumoto rolled a perception check and got a 20 like whoah

RYUU AND EN ARE SAVAGE AF 

SMOL NAKED BABIES ATTEMPTING TO LOOK BADASS- all except Io who just wants the fuck out of here lol

How are they even still able to fight?? Their powers were diminished earlier??? Is it because they realized it was an illusion?

CHUBBEH BABY BUTT

AAAAND NAKED IN PUBLIC

Did their clothes just vanish???

And Io’s STILL embarrassed.

Meanwhile Yumoto has his priorities straight I guess

Also WHY IS IT SUDDENLY NIGHTTIME WASN’T IT JUST MORNING CUDDLES TIME???

YOU’RE JUST WORRIED ABOUT THEM BEATING YOU I MEAN C’MON AT LEAST LAUGH AT THEIR NUDITY

OH IT’S NIGHT SO HE CAN LOOK AT THE STARS AND REMEMBER THINGS AGAIN THAT’S WHY IT ALL HAS TO COME FULL CIRCLE BECAUSE PLOT

Ryuu you have no tact sheesh

Atsushi is STILL throwing shade like a pro. He must take lessons from Arima the sass master.

And we end on Atsushi reminiscing about Kinshirou and their stargazing adventures but THIS BOTHERS ME BECAUSE OF COURSE YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT HE WISHED FOR YOU DIP. Context wise, it’s obvious Kinshirou told him. I mean, he might be meaning he’s since forgotten the wish (which would explain his falling out with Kinshirou in another dimension other than the curry thing) but showing that flashback in such detail and then having Atsushi remember it (or hinted that he remembers it) but without hinting that he knows what Kinshirou wished for is just kind of.... idk it bothers me. That line wasn’t 100% necessary, or perhaps it could have been something like “I don’t remember what he wished for”. Of course, for all I know he could have said that but crunchyroll could have translated it poorly idk.

Buuuut that’s the end! That was mostly just an enjoyable “aww” episode with not a lot of substance other than we discover that Kinshirou is dramatic AF, En is self conscious (perhaps even moreso than Atsushi, or possibly just vain) and Io is definitely embarrassed by public nudity. Hm. Maybe you guys have some more intelligent commentary.

I’m gonna shoot to get Ep 5 done in the next couple days (maybe hours... but this shit takes forever) because I want to finish compiling all this stuff so I can get to writing these plot bunnies that just bit me in the ass... buuuut I need research. Man... En the lazy is definitely my spirit animal OTL