#too real and concerningly relatable

[zhi-liet]

couldn’t join this fandom without offering my own rendition of this iconic cirrus

[aouiaa]

Loser!Ellie Hcs

Imagining Loser! Ellie who makes fart noises with her mouth when you bend down to pick up something, and makes fun of you for “farting.”

“Ewww, that one was nasty!”

A scoff leaves your mouth as you stand up, looking back to send a death stare her way to which makes her walk over to you, giggling.

“It’s okay, everyone farts.” she says with a cheeky grin.

An eye roll from you further causes Ellie to full on laugh and wrap her arms around your waist, pressing kisses to your neck.

She would be so silly with it too. Finding different ways to comment on you “farting.”

“That’s some narly tooting there, babe.”

“Woof, another left the cannon!” she says, pinching her nose while actually fanning the air to shooing away the smell as if it was real.

“A bomb just dropped, take cover!”

Imagining Loser! Ellie who invites you over to her house when you first started dating to review her concerningly large comic book collection.

“How many do you have?!” you exclaim, looking over the many boxes filled with comics.

“I had to do some things to acquire such items that I rather not corrupt your mind with.” she says in a rather poor attempt of sounding suspicious and menacing.

“God, you’re such a loser! you laugh, and watch as Ellie immediately drops the act and turns into a big giant tomato.

A little shy “no” leaves her lips to which makes you smile and lean over to kiss her, “It’s okay, you’re my loser.”

Imagining Loser! Ellie who also has a smaller collection of space related books than the rather getting out-of-hand comic collection.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who has the deadliest grip over the last chicken while sending a death stare your way when you do that one trend on her to see if she’d grab her phone instead.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s laughing to the point there’s tears in her eyes when she suggested the both of you paint each other. And when revealed, hers was very detailed and while yours…’was insteresting.’ Ellie’s words…

Imagining Loser! Ellie who makes fun of people who dress “cringe”, but also wears this.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who write love songs for you in her little journal of hers and even plays them on her guitar. You’ve even caught her once.

Upon walking into your home, you hear muffled talking or singing. Presuming it’s Ellie, you walk into the room to see her with gutiar in hand. Immediately when she sees you she stops what she’s doing and look up, her face turning red.

“Oh—shit, you’re home early…” she says, laughing nervously, settling her guitar aside and greeting you with a hug and kiss as usual.

A little laugh leaves your lips as you reciprocate the greeting and ask, “What were you doing?”

She pulls away from the embrace and looks down upon hearing the question. Playing with her pinky and ring finger, she responds, “Oh, ya’ know—just…playing.”

“Just playing? But I heard you singing.”

An audible gulp is heard from the nervous girl as she looks up at you, “I was writing a song.” she finally admits.

A wave of surprise washed over you, “Oh—wow. Can…I hear it?”

“Uhh, maybe later..”

You chuckle and nod, “Alright then, my little musician. You can work on!” you quip.

A nervous smile presents itself on Ellie’s lips, “Shut up.”

Loser! Ellie who does let you listen to the song, but is stuttering and messing up the whole time!—Poor girl, you make her nervous :(—To which earns her a kiss on the cheek and a “You got this, baby. Just relax” To which she actually does! She Some might say it was the kiss that did it.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who has a special spot in her journal filled with doodles of you.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who has multiple unfinished paintings of you that with time will be finished, just has to find time in her super busy schedule—that consists of sleeping and bothering you—to finish them.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who sleeps with stuffed animals.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who HAS to absolutely listen to music when doing anything, literally doesn’t matter it could be showering, dishes, getting ready, etc. There’s music playing.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s a big ‘Savage Starlight’ nerd and actually at some point sent in one of her best fanart to the official insta page, but never got a response. :(

But the girl can’t take failure as an option and is still hopeful saying, “They’ll open my message…eventually.” with a sad little huff.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s screaming from the bathroom when she actually gets a response back!

You knock frantically on the door to startled by the screaming and when she does finally open the door you’re met with her phone being shoved into your face, “Look, Look, Look!”

A slightly irritated sigh leaves your lips as you look at Ellies phone—which has mysterious residue stains on it—and see the instagram post.

Once reading the caption praising Ellie for her work, you look up from the phone and at her, “I thought you were getting killed, Ellie! God…”

“Aweeee, you care about me?” she says, putting her hands on her chest.

“No, I came to make sure they finished the job.” you reply with a cheeky grin.

“Oh wow…well in that case, gimme my phone and get out!” she frowns.

You roll my eyes playfully and chuckle, giving back her phone, “Make sure to flush.” you say, closing the door.

“That was one time!” you hear a muffled shout.

Imagining Loser! Ellie whose phone is filled with multiple pictures of you. Some of you, sleeping, doing chores around the house, cooking—and some with you seeming to be yelling at her in the photo for not helping, and terrible pictures of you that you beg her to delete, but she protests saying they’re “beautiful” to her.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who steals your chapstick since she always loses her’s within a few days of having it.

“Ellie?” you call out, searching in your nightstand for your chapstick.

“Yeah, babe?” you hear her voice become more clearly as she walks into the bedroom.

“Have you seen my chapstick? My lips are terribly dry…” you huff, unable to find it in your clutter.

“Uhh, no.”

*Imagine her in the background, sneakily swiping your chapstick back and forth on her lips as you annoyedly rummage through your stuff for it.* LMAOOO

Imagining Loser! Ellie who does feel bad and buys you a ten pack of chapstick, stealing one of course for herself.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who buys those princess or even soda chapstick ones.

(Okay i’ll stop talking about chapsticks…😭)

Imagining Loser! Ellie who seems to never drink water, but instead drinks like Arizona, Dr. Pepper, or Canada-dry, etc.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s rather disgusting when eating. Having dried up residue on the side of her mouth from dinner which was hours ago only to lick it off.

“Mmm, that burger was good.”

“You’re disgusting.”

Imagining Loser! Ellie who sometimes, but not all the time, thinks about how lucky she is/was to get—or “pull” as she says to her friends—someone like you.

Loser! Ellie who loves you for loving her despite her quirks!

How you can help Palestine, Why you shouldn’t support tlou/ buy the remastered, Educate yourself, #FREEPALESTINE.

a/n; Who wants Dina or Abby hcs? 🤭

Perm taglist: @elliesprettygirl, @dyk3ang3l, @ellies2fingers, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @k1ssesworld

Ellie Only fics: @herelieskrisy, @mikellie , @slaysksmska, @mina-281, @teawithnosugar, @kitkatkittycat111

[scholarinbookland]

So I’ve just enforced my first shipping-related harassment block! I probably should have done it ages ago when they were attempting to browbeat me in my comments section, but for the record, sending someone a Twitter thread of a presumably shipping-influenced read of FACE (I don’t have an account, so I could only see the first tweet) with the instructions to “read it, you disrespectful fool” is the exact wrong way to convert someone to your belief system.

Furthermore, I honestly forgot we had this interaction. I think that if someone having a different interpretation of a piece of art is triggering enough for you to care at least a week later (I can’t remember how long ago they starting aggressively commenting under every post before what I assumed was agreeing to disagree), then you are in too deep. Fandom is supposed to be a hobby, not something that you get so worked up over that you start trying to harass other fans into seeing things your way.

The irony of it all was what set them off in the first place was seemingly my anti-shipping post, where I said something about how the two big shipper groups in BTS were behaving in a concerningly conspiratorial fashion. This blogger then goes on to try and convince me that because I am asexual and new to the fandom, that not seeing whatever theories they’ve decided are objective fact is homophobia and bigotry. They illustrated my point.

I’m sorry, but even if I was willing to look into their timeline and theories (I set a boundary regarding being disinterested in his non-work life that’s not shared by him), the way they are unable to present themselves as a credible source without insults is genuinely concerning.

I hope that whatever is troubling them personally enough to be this invested in a random group of Jimin theorists (because I know I’m not the only one they harassed) on the internet can be resolved by their loved ones in real life.

Once again, I’m an anti-shipper of all Jimin ships and cannot be converted short of an official press release of a relationship, at which point I’d just be happy for Jimin. Thanks for understanding!

(First post without a 24 hour wait to calm down and edit, probably way more emotional than usual)

[marvojpr]

A GAME WORTH PLAYING |

CHAPTER 9 - kaisagi, saesagi centric

Summary: Isagi Yoichi has a friend. Boy does he love him, a little too much, almost concerningly so. Unfortunately for him, there are some people out there who love him just as much. One fight with his boy and he went spiral, so it is up for a certain someone, to make him see his true self and maybe keep Isagi as his.

Oh and Isagi doesn't get the boy. He's devastated.

Inspired by Strangers from Hell the show and webtoon.

Pairings: Michael Kaiser x Yoichi Isagi, Sae Itoshi x Yoichi Isagi, Original Character (Navitsu) x Yoichi Isagi

Tags: Slow Burn, Identity Issues, Non-Graphic Violence, Rape/Non-con Elements, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to even worse Enemies actually, Possessive, Obsessive, Itoshi Sae, Possessive, Obsessive, Michael Kaiser, Bottom Isagi Yoichi, Michael Kaiser is Bad at Feelings, Eventual Smut, Everyone Loves Isagi Yoichi, not following manga after phase 2 so after pxg and bm match i’ll make my own shitcuz i can’t wait for each update also it’s ass wdym nagi is locked off? he’s happily ranked top 10 easily, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Re Al Madrid team based on Real Madrid irl

Chapter 9:

Continuing day five of the break

— 

After washing his face with ice cold water, Isagi finally managed to calm down his flushed face. He physically couldn’t face his mother yet, or father for that matter, they’d both immediately pick up on what happened and he’d never escape their teasing. 

But a part of Isagi was more scared of them figuring out that he likes both sexes. He wasn’t sure how they viewed such relations, and how it would affect their relationship with their son. He knew they’d love him regardless, but maybe this topic… it just seems so… personal.

They were never religious to begin with—but that was how most parents in Japan like. 

And anyways, he doubts they’d kick him out just because he made out with his best friend on his bed, right? He hopes it doesn’t get too far. Not now at least. Because while he sure as hell didn’t want his parents finding out, if Ego or any member of the Japanese Football Association finds out about this he’s doomed. They’d never allow him to play football or participate in any official match ever again. He’d also be immediately kicked out of Blue Lock. 

Next time they should take precauti—wait, next time?!

What is he thinking?! That was just a one time thing! As if Navitsu would ever do this again.

He wouldn’t be against it per se, but he wants Navitsu to want it as much as he does.

He sighs one last time whilst looking at the bathroom mirror to make sure nothing looks abnormal, thankfully things didn’t escalate too far so there wasn’t much to fix other than his face and a little something…

Isagi makes his way towards the kitchen where his parents have already started eating without him, but he noticed that Navitsu was too busy talking to them to eat his. They looked so happy. And Isagi wishes it always stays this way forever. He’ll cherish these memories and these people till the day he dies.

Navitsu was the first to catch a glimpse of Isagi, waving at him to come sit with them, praising his mother’s cooking to try to convince him to hurry up, which caused her to blush and playfully pinch his arm. Isagi smiles fondly at them.

Sheesh.

One word and this could be gone.

No way. He’ll take it to his grave. Even if it meant letting go of Navitsu.

Their happiness is his priority.

He finally sat down next to his friend who filled his plate with food, making sure it could fill Isagi up. His dad laughed at how motherly Navitsu was towards , making everyone smile wholeheartedly. By the time they finished eating, Navitsu and Isagi were left to clean up the table and dishes.

Navitsu took care of the dishes as usual, and Isagi cleared the table.

By the stares Isagi was getting from Navitsu, he knew he wanted to talk about what happened earlier. But he couldn't bring himself to look at him directly, as if he was too shy to do so, but considering what happened on the bed earlier, Navitsu had some doubts.

“Hey, Yocchan,” Navistu sheepishly mumbled, eyes laser focused on the spoons he has in hand, as he scrubbed them for the millionth time already. Isagi hummed in response. “Abou–”

Suddenly, Isagi jumped from the sudden vibration coming from his pants. It was his phone, but he forgot he kept the sound high in case Anri would call to talk about the third phase since it was two days from now. He picks his phone up to see if it really is her. Unfortunately though, it’s an unknown, foreign number.

Confused, he looked at Navitsu, who was already looking at him with a puzzled look.

“I have to—”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, go.” Navitsu turns away from Isagi, just enough to give him a sense of privacy.

Finally, he accepts the call before the caller ends it.

“Guten Morgen, Schatz." The caller finally said, and Isagi could feel the smirk they had whilst saying it. It confused him though, who is this and why are they not speaking to him in Japanese?

(eng/Good morning, babe)

“Excuse me?” He questioned.

The caller laughed out loud, clearly amused by his confusion, and when he finally settled down he started again, his voice dripping with condensation. “Was? Schon vergessen, wer ich bin?” 

(eng/What? Already forgotten who I am?")

It took Isagi all his willpower not to hang up on him when he finally realized who it was, he grumbled and hissed at his phone, hoping Kaiser would hear him when he did to announce his annoyance. 

But, for some reason, he started heading towards his bedroom, “Shit. Wait, I don’t have the earbuds on.” 

“Hm? Klar doch… Ich warte nur auf dich.”

(eng/Hm? Of course… I’m only waiting for you.”

And for the life of him, Isagi couldn’t bring himself to care about what the hell Kaiser just said. Still, he put on the earbuds whilst he laid lazily on his bed, reviving the memories from earlier yet again, just to feel the same flutter in his stomach that felt so good to ignore at the time. How Navitsu’s tears fell on his face when they made out. He couldn’t believe that happened. Let alone he initiated it. 

His fingers found themselves caressing his soft lips the more he thought about his friend. However, since the day seemed keen on interrupting his desires, a hum broke him from his thoughts, forcing him to accidentally bite down on his finger. He remembered that Kaiser was waiting on the other line which made him annoyed once more. 

“Back,” he replied begrudgingly, as if this call was what’s stopping Isagi from being with Navitsu, which, in a way, it was. “Now, what do you want?”

Unfortunately, his rudeness didn’t budge Kaiser, but instead it helped entice it further, “sheesh, so harsh as usual, . Maybe you’re back to normal?” He breathed into the phone, “I prefer you drunk.”

Isagi’s eyes widened, but then his surprise turned into pure anger. “What the fuck did you just say? Did you do something to me last night, you clown?!” 

Kaiser hummed proudly, “I changed your life for the better if that’s what you mean. In fact—” But suddenly he was cut off by the other, while he knew dear  wouldn’t like what happened last night, he didn’t think he’d be this mad. Pretty overkill if you asked him.

But Isagi was having none of that, “who the fuck do you think you are?! Think you can do whatever you want to me just because you think you’re some hot shit?!”

“I am hot shit.”

“I’ll fucking kill you next time I see you.”

“Cute. Anyways, I called you for that reason specifically.”

“To commit suicide?” Isagi scoffed, “I can certainly help with that.”

“To meet you.”

The sprout-head was caught off guard for a second, but quickly regained his composure, “I’d rather die.” Seriously, where did Kaiser even get his phone number? And why is he acting so cocky after what he’d done to him? He should be worried Isagi would out him and ruin his entire career. 

“Wouldn’t you rather kill me? You left something with me yesterday.”

What? Like his dignity? He was about to cuss Kaiser out even more before his eyes fell on the necklace that he’s wearing on his wrist. May lord have mercy on Kaiser, because he won’t be showing any. He’ll shove it so far down his throat and take his own necklace back. 

“Trust me, You want to come see what I have.” Oh, Kaiser will want to see what is coming his way, just you wait. “Right, and also. What exactly do you remember from last night?”

“...”

“Heh, guess I’ll have to see you to know. Bye, bye!”

And with that, he hung up the phone. With whatever willpower he had left, he stopped himself from breaking the phone once he saw that Kaiser sent him a message. 

It was… an address. 

— — — — —

(Last night)

“You smoke?”

Kaiser looked up from his cigarette, his eyes trailing the figure standing behind him. His eyes then widened in surprise when he saw who bothered to come after him, but that quickly turned into unamusement. He huffed a breath in retaliation.

“Rarely.”

And with that, he thought the conversation was over already. He didn’t expect  to plop down next to him, as if they’ve done it a million times.  sure was full of surprises today. Still. It was an odd sight,  was. He looked a lot more relaxed than earlier inside, he allowed the wind to caress his hair carelessly, and closed his eyes to strengthen his other senses.

Kaiser would rather die than admit it, but peace suited him. 

It really allowed his other features shine. 

Unlike how he always was with him, so pissy and angry like he kicked his dog. It made Kaiser all the more amused by the strong hatred he had stored in that body of his, especially when it was mostly directed at him.

“Didn’t peg you for the type.”  finally spoke, his smile gone with the wind but his eyes remained happy as they were. In Kaiser’s daze, he had forgotten that  wasn’t just there like he seemed to be the last couple weeks, but actually sitting next to him and acknowledging him.

But he was very good at hiding his emotions, so he masked the silent buzzing in his chest cleverly. “Did you need something?” The German looked away, like a child throwing a tantrum. For some reason, he had the urge to punish  by not giving him attention like he’s been doing. Not like Kaiser would say it affected him one bit, because it didn’t.

He couldn’t see , but he heard a breath that sounded like a small chuckle. “It was getting loud in there. Just wanted some fresh air.”

“Well, don’t let me stop you.”

Maybe now the conversation could be over?

“You know, you get pretty hostile when you’re drunk.”

Kaiser scoffed pretty loudly, but decided to dain his cigarette with some attention. “And you get soft.” He wished he could read the other’s mind, if it was being used at all.

 shrugged his shoulders, accepting the insult for whatever reason. Seriously. What is. Going on. In his brain?! “I guess so. But I don’t mind it, it makes me think more logically.” A blatant lie, but one he couldn’t call him out on. 

Because his brain works beautifully under stress, and Kaiser, as usual, wouldn’t be caught dead saying that shit. As would Isagi if he heard it from Kaiser. 

“Do you ever? Unless it’s football related I doubt you use your brain.”

“See? Hostile,”  mused, his voice giddy.

Jesus, was  so drunk he didn’t mind Kaiser?

Why the hell was he still talking to him? 

He took in another breath from his cigarette.

’s eyes seemed to trail Kaiser’s movements, and the other did his best to try and ignore his prying eyes. He’s so used to having eyes on him, hell, even ’s. But this time it feels… weirdly personal. He doesn’t know whether to make a show of his handsome features to the sprout-head, or to tear his eyes off.

“Can I try your cigarette?” 

“Huh? Why’d you want to?”

“I don’t know. I’m curious how it managed to calm you down after earlier.”

Again, it baffled Kaiser how much  thought he understood, but in reality he couldn’t be further from it. He finally gathered his pettiness and put it aside to look at the blue eyed striker, “what makes you think I’m relaxed now?”

“Aren’t you?”

“No.” Absolutely not. 

“Why?”

What a valid question… thankfully though, Kaiser didn’t bother asking himself that. He would much rather do what he deems appropriate. So for him there were other questions worth asking, such as; why the hell is  so interested in him right now?

“Careful. You sound like a friend who might actually care,” he resorted.

But instead, ’s face just turned passive, as if his remark made him sober right up. “I don’t care.” He finally said, tearing his eyes away from Kaiser and instead focused them on the night sky that was now filled with stars. “I’m just curious. Also you were pretty nasty in there, I wanna know why.”

Liar. Kaiser wanted to say. 

“Yeah, well. Your pretty face annoyed me.”

Liar. Isagi thought.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.”

“Well. I’ll make sure you won’t have to look at me again.” Isagi teased, his head remained pointed at the sky, but his eyes made their way towards Kaiser, a sarcastic smile on his face.

But Kaiser said nothing, letting the cigarette burn for a little too long.

“Would you get off my back then?”

Isagi knew what he was doing. He was doing his best to make Kaiser snap, and it seemed to be working, slower than one would’ve liked. But he’ll take his chances.

Kaiser, on the other hand, was too busy thinking of something else. “Do you know what my problem with you is?” His voice dripping with accusations, he sure knew what he was doing and was simply acting dumb. It made him angry just thinking of having played in his game. “Your denseness. You act like you don’t notice, but your eyes see everything.” He’d known better than anyone, after all,  managed to outsmart him of all people.

Finally, the striker turned to fully take in Kaiser’s form. “Look, I’m not sure what you think I know. But I don’t.” He honestly said, going as far as to put his hand on his heart as a promise, but he couldn’t help but worry about the burning cigarette. 

“Oh, you know.” Kaiser glared at Isagi, feeling offended by his ‘honesty’. Oh, how much he hated liars. 

“Try me.” Isagi challenged.

Kaiser remained quiet after that, figuring it was more trouble to talk about it. And he’d rather ignore his problems.

“Well?”

‘Just shut up, .’

“Fine, at least tell me why you indulged Navitsu in that fight.”

Does he not know anything other than football and Navitsu? “He started it.”

Isagi nodded at that, “I know.” he treaded carefully with his words, it seemed like the topic hit a sensitive spot for Kaiser. “But it seemed to get personal the more you two interacted.”

Kaiser, seeing his cigarette now burnt and useless, got a new one out. “Tsk. And just when I thought I could forget that pest.” He took in a deep breath, which caused him to fall in a coughing fit. He caught a glimpse of  looking at him strangely, but he didn’t know why, must’ve been the way he choked on his own breath that caused him to make a face that resembled the past. Ness always warned him about it. “Were you two attached at the hip or something?” He struggled to speak, but  understood him. 

Isagi smiled softly, trying not to make a show of what just happened. “Pretty much,” he remembered the past, where they were quite literally attached to each other, neither of them wanting to let go of the other. Back when that little shit wasn’t so embarrassed to shower him in affection in public. And back when Isagi was sure they shared the same feelings. 

Since Kaiser got so quiet, Isagi decided to check if he’s still awake, his silence is very worrisome. Seriously, has this guy ever shut up? Apparently he can. 

He was met with narrowed eyes that twitched slightly. Though Kaiser was looking at him, for the first time ever, it didn’t feel aimed at Isagi like it usually was. It brought chills from earlier he thought were gone.

Finally, he gave his best awkward smile, “there it is. That look from earlier. It creeps me the fuck out.” He bit the inside of his cheek while lightly fidgeting with his necklace.

Kaiser’s body flinched, as if momentarily stunned, his narrowed eyes now widened. Thankfully, luck was on his side since Isagi was still too busy playing with his necklace, with a stupid, sappy smile plastered on his face, to notice his reaction. 

It wasn’t his choice of words that surprised him, it was the expression he had while saying it.

What the fuck was happening to Kaiser?

Why was his chest suddenly fluttering all of a sudden? 

Why was Isagi acting so… genuine, making him feel this way?

Without realizing, Kaiser’s body shifted closer to Isagi’s, who was looking at him now with questioning eyes. The German boy couldn’t believe what was happening, it was one thing after the other, but he just couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud. 

It felt real, like it was his first. 

“Heh… Here, try.”

Kaiser, while trying to conceal his laugh (and failing miserably), handed Isagi his cigarette that was barely burning still.

The latter looked at him suspiciously, still very much caught off guard by the sudden change in demeanor. Still, he didn’t want Kaiser to start acting hostile with him again tonight, he wanted to get some answers, but the more he interacted with Kaiser the less he understood. And right now? He just hopes Kaiser doesn’t suddenly flash him with a gun. Very random, but he expects anything at this point.

So he took the cigarette in his finger, while also feeling suspicious towards the man sitting beside him. He felt his eyes on him, but unlike inside, it wasn’t harsh nor filled with hatred. This time it was more calm, almost… loving? 

‘Ok, calm down, Yoichi.’ He thought internally, ‘let’s take it down a notch.’

Finally, feeling repulsed by his own thoughts, he took a deep breath, thinking that it was better to change where this was heading. Unfortunately, he didn’t expect to just straight up choke on the smoke. 

He started coughing hysterically, noticing that the laugh coming from Kaiser was just increasing by the minute. That piece of shit knew what he got him into! Finally, his lungs calmed down, “that’s disgusting.”

“Yes. Yes, it is,” Kaiser said in between laughs, he looked quite handsome if you asked Isagi. Anger and condescension weren’t a good look on him. Geez, what’s up with him tonight? First he thought Navitsu was going to confess to him, now he’s looking at Kaiser’s biceps—wait what?! When did his eyes move there?! 

Isagi immediately looked down at his feet, counting how many rocks were on the pavement. Kaiser grabbed the cigarette from him, took one last deep breath and then threw it on the ground. 

“Why do you smoke then?” Isagi questioned, now eyeing the smashed cigarette.

Kaiser shrugged, “I don’t, not really. Just when I get my shit absolutely wrecked.” He slowly started facing Isagi, the peace that laid on his face remained oddly comfortably. “Guess I’m a masochist.”

“I don’t doubt that for a moment,” Isagi hissed warmly.

Kaiser giggled at that, “did you like it?”

“Not at all.”

“Weird. Always took you for a masochist.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that in front of everyone earlier.”

Kaiser’s face fell for a mere second, a glimpse of guilt flashed but was quickly buried under, but Isagi caught it.

“Can you blame me?”

Isagi nodded, “yes, I can. You don’t know me.” He insisted. 

It was Kaiser’s turn to grumble, “I know you plenty.”

“Like what?”

“Like how easily influenced you are by the most mundane people ever.”

“Like who?”

“Noa, that fucker who thought could mount to me, and your friends.”

Isagi let out a deep sigh, not sure how their peace was so easily dismantled. But seriously, looking back, Kaiser seemed pretty genuine with him. He… didn’t mind hanging out with him anymore… Still! He simply respected the guy, that doesn’t mean he likes him as a person yet. 

He liked his plays, his skills, and deeply admired his goals. But he was still an asshole.

“You know. It confuses me when you’re nice to me but mean to me in front of others.”

“I’m not nice.”

“You’re not mean either.”

— — — — —

If it was possible, Bachira would never choose to wake up so early. Unfortunately though, he had chosen a very bad spot to sleep in; in front of the window, where he could just lean in and barf whenever he felt sick.

Plus, the night breeze was too good to pass on.

But now he was regretting that. With the sun on his face he can’t do much other than wake up completely. He tossed and turned for five minutes before deciding that he could no longer fall asleep again.

His eyes, now wide awake, scanned the room, trying to figure out where he was.

Thankfully, he managed to locate a handful of his friends easily. So he got up lazily, a groan escaping him, and dragged his feet to the nearest one—Chigiri. Feeling extra mischievous this morning, he chose to tople onto the red-head. 

“Ow! What t—” But his cries fell on deaf ears.

Bachira groaned, “why did you bring me here?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Chigiri managed to push Bachira just enough to look him in the eye. “Did you eat something funny?”

“Nope,” a new voice joined, walking in the living room from the kitchen. “He’s just hungover,” Reo brushed his wet hair out of his face, water dripping on the floor. Clearly he was fine even after drinking, considering he was in a fucking robe.

Chigiri struggled to get Bachira off of him, so at the end, he just gave up and turned his focus towards Reo, “will you also offer us a hot shower and a robe?” He deadpanned.

Reo looked quite offended, like Chigiri had just killed Nagi, “and have Shidou masterbate in my bathroom?! I don’t think so!” 

Well, Chigiri didn’t really think that through, in fact, the thought that the others from yesterday were also sleeping here didn’t cross his mind whatsoever. So imagine his surprise when he noticed that he was sleeping on someone’s foot. 

He quickly sat up to eye the culprit, only to find that gossip-instigating bastard. 

“Move your damn feet,” he hit the crow-headed man harshly; waking him in the process. The latter opened his eyes immediately and met Chigiri’s harsh glares in an animated manner. Once he saw that he was clearly not welcome, Karasu groaned and sat up quickly to defend himself in case of another attack. 

“Gosh, princess. Calm down,” Karasu spoke in a deep, hoarse voice. 

“Fuck off, man.” 

Another man, who laid next to Karasu, slowly sat up like a zombie, lazily throwing an arm on him. After gaining some attention from the crowd, he finally announced; “you can put your feet on me.”

“Real shit?” Karasu mused.

“Real shit.”

Chigiri almost gagged at the two, but quickly shook his head and managed to refocus on Reo who finished making coffee and was already sipping it peacefully. “Who else is here?” He asked the owner of the ‘house’.

“Well, I just saw Shidou laying on the kitchen floor like a goddamn speed bump.” Reo shrugged.

“And I can see Hiori sleeping on the couch behind me,” Karasu pointed at the couch, making a show that he had to sleep on the ground for the other’s comfort.

Otoya looked there, his mouth forming an ‘o’, “is that Kurona next to him?” And lo and behold, under the pile of blankets laid Kurona, calmly snoring the day away. 

Chigir nodded at the duo, and looked at the head that was settled on his lap in a questioning manner, as if asking ‘and you?’. Bachira shook his head, indicating that he, in fact, didn’t see anyone except for the people present in front of him.

Suddenly, a whistle was heard coming from Otoya, “maybe they’re in the bedrooms.”

And that comment seemed to set Reo moving, he quickly started making a beeline upstairs while screaming profanities on his way in an attempt to wake them up if they were really in the rooms. 

Otoya and Bachira started snickering under their breaths, clear amusement dripping. However, Karasu turned his focus on the boy laying behind him, gently shaking the couch with the strength he could muster after waking up after a hangover. 

The cyan-headed man passively opened his eyes, waking up more tenderly than the rest of them. The headache, however, wasn’t as forgiving as his awakening. He groaned the more he moved around. The movements automatically stirred the man next to him. 

Hiori mumbled a small ‘sorry’ when he saw his friend’s eyes fluttering open. 

“Never again. Never again.” 

“Damn right,” Chigiri agreed. 

And immediately Reo enters the scene again, “they weren’t doing anything nasty, but they still dirtied the rooms with puke and shit,” Reo huffed, returning to the cup of coffee that was set on the table before he left. 

The room stayed looking at Reo, clearly waiting for more details, but he simply kept on going on about spraying lace around the house to prevent certain urges. Behind him, another head was going down the stairs. Everyone stiffened without realization, their mouths opening ajar. 

Hiori was the first to suspect him, eyeing him with a sharp gaze. “What are you doing here? Is Kaiser also here? Is he trying to do something to Isagi—”

“Geez, get off my dick.” Ness made his way towards the kitchen, almost stumbling on Shidou in the process. He poured the last bit of coffee that was left from Reo when he made it. “Do you really wanna talk about that in front of everyone?” He asked, purposely not looking at Hiori.

But the cyan-head just narrowed his eyes in suspicion, what did Ness mean by that? “I have nothing to hide, and neither does Isagi.” He assured firmly, not entertaining the thought. 

Ness gave a breathy laugh, almost scoffing at Hiori, but at the same time he seemed genuinely against the idea, as if he knew something the others didn’t know. 

Otoya, surprisingly, was the first to call him out. “You do know something, don’t ya’?” His voice sounded unfiltered and still raw after waking up hungover, reminding the rest of their own equally painful headache and nausea. 

Bachira spared his teammate one last time before settling on Ness, but the German man remained unbothered by the glares and harsh stares he was getting, probably since he was already used to it from BM’s Blue Lock members (ahem, Raichi, Isagi). But Bachira seemed keen on quietly analyzing him, it caused Chigiri to feel goosebumps from how cold Bachira turned when he first laid eyes on Ness.

He couldn’t explain it, but Bachira was furious if he’d ever seen him mad.

“This doesn’t concern any of you.” 

“Every single time,” Hiori moved his entire body to face Ness, his eyebrows narrowing in frustration. “Every single time we went out, and Kaiser happened to see Isagi, he would try to start something up. Just what does he hope to achieve when he ruins the night for everyone. Yesterday you were lucky we were drained and therefore didn’t give him much mind, but if he starts that again when we are out, trust me when I say he won’t see Isagi till the day he dies.”

Otoya made some cat gestures, a means to mock Hiori’s threats, which earned him a slap on the shoulder from Karasu who was fairly impressed. 

“What do you even think Kaiser wants from Isagi?” Karasu asked, turning his head to look directly at Hiori, who in return put his hand on his chin to think about it.

“Nothing.” Ness declared, “or at least, nothing that’s too bad.” 

“And just what does that mean?” Finally, Reo asked suspiciously. Quite frankly, he wasn’t too bothered by the situation, until he personally talked to Kaiser and decided he wanted to personally see him fail before his eyes.

Ness looked down, “why do you always assume the worst?” 

Reo raised an accusatory eyebrow at him, not sure if he was being serious or just taunting them. “Are you seriously asking that?”

“Yes, genuinely,” Ness assured, and for a second, he seemed honestly interested in what they were so concerned about. “I know Kaiser, and I know his tendency to be… a jerk is an issue to you. But I can guarantee you that he is very much capable of loving someone.” He said with a sad undertone and a heavy breath, and if anyone noticed, they didn't mention it.

“Wait, pause,” Chigiri suddenly jolted, taking a sharp inhale before continuing, “love?! When did we start talking about love?!”

The room quickly turned their heads towards Ness, waiting for him to explain what the fuck he just said. 

On the other hand, the latter seemed confused by their surprise, clearly stunned by the sudden outburst coming from everyone all at once. 

“I mean…” Ness tilted his head to the side, “aren’t you just mad that Kaiser isn’t confessing to Isagi?” He innocently asked. 

“…?”

The room erupts in chaos, people (Hiori) accidentally stepping on others (Karasu) to get to where Ness was standing, or others (Otoya) laughing at the proclamation. And one singular man was as still as a wall, not yet processing the information.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”

“CONFESS? WAIT, MAYBE IN GERMAN IT HAS ANOTHER MEANING!”

Ness was almost hit in the process, and absolutely flabbergasted. 

Finally, once the rest calmed down, Ness started speaking again. “I meant it in the way,” his face reddened, “you like, like someone?”

“Like, like someone?” Otoya asked with a teasing smirk, “that’s serious, man.”

Chigiri threw Otoya one last glare before turning back and placing a hand on Ness’s shoulder. “Can you explain it to us?”

Ness looked down, anger and weeks of pent-up frustration weighing on him. He’d never talked to anyone about this—and nobody had asked, until now, when Isagi Yoichi was involved. He didn’t care what they thought of him, but the way they saw Kaiser was unfair—flat-out wrong. Kaiser’s behavior wasn’t his fault, and only Ness had bothered to understand him, or at least tried to. 

Finally, he met with Chigiri’s less aggressive eyes, “I don’t know what you want me to explain.” He stubbornly said, refusing to show weakness in front of these people who rejected Kaiser. He didn’t have enough time to react before someone grabbed his collar quickly, causing his head to spin faster than he could handle before the headache came back.

Ness looked at the person who seemed to take this too seriously than needed, “listen here you walking migraine,” Bachira threatened, and Ness could hear some people in the background trying to stop him but failing. “You’ll tell that clown to stay as far away as physically possible from Yoichi, got it?” 

He could feel some sweat drop from his forehead, but with his free hands he grabbed and pulled on Bachira’s hair. “Why the hell would you want them away from each other?!” He yelled angrily, feeling a pair of strong arms grabbing him from his waist in an attempt to get him off of Bachira. 

“That fucker doesn’t deserve Yoichi, that’s why!” Bachira shrieked, a grimace crossing his usually bright face, an arm grabbed him and finally managed to push him to the ground with a thud. Then, a foot stomped on his stomach to keep him in place. 

Ness, still up and restrained, screeched back. “Yoichi should be happy someone like Kaiser is giving him the time of day!” 

“You piece of—” 

Another figure appeared in the room, quickly moving to punch Ness right in the stomach and kicking Bachira’s side. It happened so fast the others weren’t able to stop him, but regardless, were very grateful for his interruption. 

Barou looked at the two in disappointment and anger, “you two care to explain why I just woke up because of you?” He glared.

This is chapter 9

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, <- 9 -> 10

[bookwyrminspiration]

omg i was anon and it IS orv how'd you guess!! anyways its so incredibly quilcoded you NEED to read it like. yesterday. its so good

firstly!! you would actually rlly adore kim dokja he's a complete fucking loser. picking him up kicking him around like a soccer ball do you catch my drift. he HATES himself he likes reading trashy novels he's concerningly relatable. also you could ship him with anyone if you tried hard enough or he could definitely be aroace if you squint. choice is yours the world is your oyster. also he canonically has a very funny kink that the novel likes to bring up over and over again. like i said. loser

(tbh i think youd also really be partial to yoo joonghyuk or one of the side characters but. idk thats up to you to decide. when you fucking read it)

secondly! the worldbuilding quil you would go HAM on the worldbuilding there's soooo much to explore with the star stream and constellations vs incarnations and its just SOOO insane. ugh i dont wanna spoil a lot but theres just so many different THINGS and it makes me a little bit feral

THIRDLY found family. thats it thats the post. they are all so unbearably lonely and they all find each other and they LOVE EACH OTHER and contrary to kim dokja's opinion they love him too and its just so fucking. ugh. all of their dynamics. (the kids especially get to me they are SO funny and stupid. siblingcoded as fuck)

also would it help if i tell you that there is quite literally no romance in this book! which is kind of unheard of for power fantasy novels! (ok there is like one side couple but its slow burn af and they take forever to get together and theyre rlly cute anyway but i digress)

there's mpreg. will not elaborate but it seems like youd fuck with it

furthermore!! idk the overarching themes......... story inside a story the inherent and unconditional love of a reader for said story reader vs writer vs protagonist OHHH love letter to stories themselves. actually. fuck man the feelings

its rlly stupid sometimes. actual crack. then it kicks you in the balls and makes you feel emotions you never knew you had before

but yeah pls read it!! i will convince you even more if necessary. you need to get in on this before 2025 at the very least bc there is an anime coming out and you have to be able to say you were here before that to assert dominance. anyways

(also WHEN you read it bc you will. pls livetweet in my inbox i love reactions its a fucking ride)

Not only was I right that it was orv, but I was also correct that it was you, Roshan. Though I didn't write that down, so you'll just have to trust me

I do have some understanding of the story beyond this because an irl of mine was reccing it a couple weeks ago, but from that it's also my understanding that learning anything about the story prior will not help me going in. it simply defies explanation and I just gotta read it

I must say though, you do know the right things to say. I LOVE stories about stories I LOVE meta I LOVE love letters to stories! I LOVE worldbuilding I LOVE found family. i LOVE wet rag guys, sopping on the floor pathetic loser men. and no romance!!! that's not to say any romance is bad, it's just nice to have a break sometimes

"there's mpreg. will not elaborate but it seems like youd fuck with it" can. can I confess something real quick. i deadass almost included mpreg in the "keys to get quil to read something." but then I was like no i shant, even though it's true. and then you said it yourself anyway! because it seems like i'd fuck with it! well i DO and I WILL. mpreg is like an automatic read for me. don't worry about that

OKAY okay i will read. where. where do I read it. i've heard of both a manga and a webcomic...maybe..? which should I go with and where should I find it. I am at your command 🫡

(i will probably liveblog instead of directly in ur inbox but maybe i'll do both)

[snaggletoothedbastard]

in defence of autistic characters

Because apparently people are mad about this.

I've heard the phrase "you're making every single character autistic!" and similar phrases way too many times. Mostly from allistic people who don't understand how headcanons work, and are also scared shitless by the very idea that they might have something in common with an autistic person.

Oh gosh, the horror!

"You're making every single character autistic," said in a negative way, is basically a translation of: "That character can't possibly be autistic because I'm not autistic and I like them!"

Neurotypicals often seem to be under the impression that neurodivergent people are some kind of alien species, and that these two groups have nothing whatsoever in common with each other and therefore can't even have the same feelings towards one single fictional character. They've given us our "representation", the Sheldon Coopers and the Rain Mans, and essentially said, "Here you go, enjoy your seven (7) canonically autistic characters, and leave every other character in the world to us." And then have the gall to act surprised when we're not particularly happy with what we've been given. Sure, Sheldon Cooper and Rain Man may technically count as representation, but that doesn't mean they're good, and it doesn't mean that they're enough. We need more than that.

You can make the exact same argument about queer characters or characters of colour. Marginalised groups are often given the bare minimum of representation and told that they should be grateful for it, as if everyone else in the world is bending over backwards to cater to them.

Surprise! That's not what's happening.

Instead we are supplied with the most boring, clichéd, unlikeable, stereotypical characters with very little personality, who are treated with very little respect by the people who literally created them. Why should we be grateful for that? It shouldn't be surprising, really, that we find ourselves feeling better represented by and more connected to characters who may not be specifically written as autistic but who we can relate to anyway, and have been written with respect, nuance and creativity. Real autistic people aren't as one-dimensional as we are in fiction. We've got personalities, interests, relationships and emotional journeys that are just as complex as yours, and we'd like this complexity to be reflected in the characters that are supposed to be for us. So when we don't get that, we end up being drawn to characters that were made for a more general audience.

One argument that I see frequently used to protest against autistic fans' relationship with these characters is: "it'll make people think they're autistic!"

Wow. People use stories as a means of self-discovery and a way to connect with others. Shocking. Truly shocking.

I have numerous problems with this argument. Firstly, it's concerningly close to being anti self-diagnosis. I hate to go off on a rant but the situation calls for it. Self-diagnosis isn't a bad thing. Often what people mean when they say "self-diagnosis" is "faking". These things are very different, and saying that someone is faking is always a risk because unless you know them personally and are aware of their entire medical history, you cannot be certain about something like this. And accusing every other person of faking a disability just because they don't fit your idea of what that disability should look like is not only extremely presumptuous, but perpetuates stereotypes and misconceptions that can be potentially dangerous.

And issues around self-diagnosis are multitude. Sure, it's not exactly ideal that it exists, but it's reality. People can't always access an official diagnosis; the assessment process is often long and exhausting; an official diagnosis can stop people from immigrating to certain countries and can threaten their ability to get jobs and have children; doctors aren't always correct in their diagnoses anyway, especially if the person they're diagnosing is AFAB and/or a person of colour. And even if someone doesn't give themself exactly the correct label, personally I think it's better to be slightly off the mark and still know how to describe your experiences and what accommodations and support you need, than to have no idea what's going on in your head and not know how to cope with your struggles.

Also, self-diagnosis is much, much more than just seeing a person with the same traits as you and thinking, "they're autistic so I must be too". It involves loads and loads of research. Hell, even the build-up to an official diagnosis involves loads of research, especially if you can't access private healthcare and have to lurk at the bottom of a waiting list for months before you get to talk to a doctor. I did at least two years of research, and I have been both self-diagnosed and professionally diagnosed. The official diagnosis was basically just telling me things I already knew about myself.

It's unlikely that so many people are deciding they're autistic just because they relate to a fictional character that it's a world-wide epidemic that needs to be stopped. Finding people we can identify with is important and helps a lot with self-acceptance. And it's a completely natural thing for people who are discovering their own autistic traits to start noticing them in other people too. So why are we surprised when we see that actually happening? And why are we acting like it's some kind of terrible thing? Do I need to remind you about Abed Nadir? The character who so many autistic people loved and connected with that Dan Harmon realised he was autistic because he based the character on himself? Give me one example where a scenario like this has ended badly. Just one.

In conclusion: you're allowed to have things in common with autistic people. And autistic people are allowed to connect with fictional characters. We're not hurting anyone. It's not the end of the world. Keep your hair on. If you're so offended that we see ourselves in not-explicitly-autistic characters instead of the one-dimensional caricatures we've been told are "for us", give us better representation. But it's not like you have a claim over every character that isn't explicitly autistic. It's not a "this is mine so you can't have it" situation. If you're thinking like that, you belong in a preschool with the rest of the toddlers who haven't learnt how to share things.

[blusherbaker]

posting here with a lil more detail: my current thoughts on the Charisma House main characters :3

I was drawn to Rikai IMMEDIATELY - one of his songs was actually how I discovered the whole series agshdj (it was this one :3)

I will say that I REALLY don't like the imagery in the MV for his character song, though... the fascist/Imperial motifs and imagery is gross, concerning, and deeply unfortunate, considering that's not part of his character in the actual series :[ but his role as the big brother / caretaker / order-keeper of the house is AMAZING and I love him for that (also, I just love his silliness. his opinions are - at times - a little... different from what I believe, but he's adorable about them, just due to how much conviction he holds)

however... I think that the absolutely BANANAS behaviour that Iori presents has solidified him as my current fave?? or possibly tied with Rikai, since both guys are kiiiind of concerningly relatable? ^^; (don't look too much into that lol) I think he could go about things in a better way (ex. not forcing his housemates to sign his slave contracts sghddk), but I do think that he's also absolutely adorable, and very sweet and silly. also, I NEED HIM TO LOOK AFTER HIMSELF OMGG

Terra, my pretty lad, has SUCH good vibes?? like, he's incredibly vain, yes... he is the Charisma of Self-Love, after all! but he isn't horrible about it, somehow? he's also SO clever in how he convinces people to do things his way, especially Iori and Sarukawa ^w^ also, the gender envy is so real with him, omgg...

and Amahiko is so supportive, it's actually adorable!! the way he acts is at times REALLY gross, and waaaaaaaay too forward (like that scene in the shower with Sarukawa... eugh), but he's surprisingly sweet at other times? idk. he's a TOTAL perv, but also... quite nice. and SILLY!!

and Ohse... hooooooooo boy. I adore this man. he deeply concerns me, and his behaviour genuinely scares me, but he's also just... so lovely. he's shockingly talented and creative, so caring, clever, and seems like he could be really fun to be around. y'know, if he didn't keep trying to... well, remove himself from existence all the time :( (side note, his songs SLAP)

then comes Fumiya... because I cannot figure him out for the life of me! he's an enigma in my mind, with the only descriptors in place being "VIBES" and "kinda babby, tbh." he confuses me otherwise, though... which suits his Charisma, actually??

lastly... Sarukawa Kei. that obstinate man would be a NIGHTMARE to be around. he needs to contradict every single thing, which - unless you managed to work around it, like Terra did - would be SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING AAAAA. plus, with the amount of first aid that that boy needs on a near daily basis... oof. he does care for his housemates, though, which is REALLY sweet. that makes him significantly more likable, but not really more tolerable to me, unfortunately. he can do as he pleases, I suppose...

[interroughbang]

Unsurprisingly, Movies Start Gender Conversations Also

Like many people, I went to see the Barbie movie in theaters. Solid movie, with a nice message I thought to be clear-cut and uncontroversial.

Boy howdy. Was I wrong.

(Spoilers for the movie beyond here, by the way)

Aside from (justifiably) raving over the production value of the film, the acting, music, et cetera, watchers were also at each other’s throats after the movie concerning what it was about, and, more concerningly, who it was ‘for’. Some men (and women, sexism is a joint effort sometimes) in comments sections of Barbie-related posts complained of ‘anti-man’ sentiments in Barbie. They often get this from the plot: it revolves around Barbie and Ken going to the real world out of Barbieland, Ken seeing the patriarchy, admiring it, and copying it, transforming Barbieland from a strictly matriarchal model to that of a patriarchy—until Barbie puts it back the way it was before, right before she leaves to go live in the real world.

The Barbie matriarchy is a direct and more hyperbolic opposite to the patriarchy we currently live in. Women hold all the jobs, get all the awards, and men are hollow accessories who are only important as attachments to women. Kens do not have careers, dreams; Kens are Simply There. Some watchers were offended by this, despite it being satirical—neither a matriarchal or patriarchal Barbieland is ideal. The movie basically smacks you with the repeated notion that no one should be put down for their gender or have their worth judged for a stereotyped role they are forced into. Barbie’s trip into the real world overloads her with real-life oppression against women, and she recoils in horror and some jokes come of the absurdity of the patriarchal complications of living womanhood. Women familiar with it laugh, and some men aware of this reality get a laugh out of it too.

It was a jokey, palatably political movie about something most everyone knows about (if they don’t directly deny it). But the plot’s focus on barbie fostered a belief in some listeners that it wasn’t ‘for’ men to watch. Aside from the experiences of men also being a feature of the movie, as it’s reinforced that the reduction of identity Kens face (under the Barbieland matriarchy and satirized in the Ken patriarchy) is also a problem, the day-to-day experiences of men or other non-women like nonbinary folks are not as much of a focus.

Does that mean the movie is not ‘for’ them? Many thought so:

What’s an audience in terms of media? Are messages for people, or to people?

I think they are both; a mix. Maybe not always in equal parts, but a mix nonetheless. However, a lot of the ‘who it’s for’ part of the conversation has molded into another set of gender stereotypes it seems.

Take the case of ‘film bros’. This was at first a designation of dudes who, at the rise of the DVD, took to buying them and listening to all the commentary tracks and subsequently talked down to folks who didn’t know every single minute detail of production. It has since evolved into a category assigned to men who watch movies that some deem pretentious for their content. No longer does it always mean a man who talks down to someone about their interest (though that still definitely happens), it can mean something like this:

“Film bro” thus becomes merged with a category of movie.

Remember “chick flicks”? Seem familiar? It’s the same, sort of opposite. It also bears the unfortunate symmetry of assuming that male interests are inherently intellectual (even if it’s mocking them, that’s the association) and that women wouldn’t want to watch that sort of thing because thinking about movies is stupid.

Nobody wins here. Movies are not ‘for’ anyone in particular in the sense that only certain kinds of people want to watch them. Some may have common interests depending on personal taste. That’s completely normal. Sometimes it may follow lines of gender slightly—women might like a certain movie more than men in some cases, or vice versa, and that difference does not have to bear strange gender stereotypes as long as we do not assign that to them ourselves.

Multiple factors influence the enjoyment of media. Personality, taste in art, sheer random appeal of various elements—gender is a factor in how some trends may go because of how people raise their children differently, and how we treat men and women differently in society at large. It does not determine whether someone will watch Barbie and like it, or whether they like foreign movies that are esoteric and strange. Anyone can enjoy anything. It’s important to not let labels and stereotypes define who we let ourselves be and what we allow ourselves to enjoy—I’m sure a young girl out there somewhere would really love the Serbian government pigeon movie. Pigeons are cool.

[apurikottotii]

yin-yang Relationship by wadatakeaki kurage-p

This shit slaps so hard.

Listen, I heard this song and thought "another common Kurage-p banger" and then I read the lyrics man. Holy shit it elevates it to another level (also... the lyrics on the official mv vs. the wiki are concerningly different).

Some special things I hear include an interesting song form (whether I love it or not is to be debated... it's definitely an interesting choice). There are weird verse interjections, the pre-chorus..? gets really loud really easily (which makes it sound like the chorus?? but we get the chorus again right after it with no break??).

Basically, I think the story about this girl, who describes herself as a loser who finds life to be like a masquerade, only pretending to truly live, not even knowing how to make conversation, who falls in love with someone she describes like the sun. So bright and warm, that someone like her would definitely "melt" if she got too close. She really wants to love/confess her feelings, but she believes that she has no ability to love/be loved (translation issues), and constantly compares her and the person as yin and yang, which she says "cannot be mixed". Therefore, they are in a "yin-yang relationship". Because of the circumstances of her life, she believes there's no hope for her love, at least not until in the next life where she's born again as hopefully someone "better".

Personal favorite lyrics include:

Final chorus: "You are the sun/That I wish to touch/Even though you’re so warm, so intense, that I’ll melt/One day I’ll convey/My huge love for you/[But] I’ll leave that for the next life!"

Chorus: "Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah/Yin and yang will never mix/Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah/It’s because you and me, we have a yin-yang relationship!"

Damn. I already love the dynamic of opposites, but this hopelessness and resignation this girl feelings is kind of delicious. That feeling when she says that "yin and yang will never mix" and then right after "you and me, we have a yin-yang relationship!" is so sad. This song sort of reminds me of Failure Girl by Kairiki Bear, with the sort of "given up" feeling, with only the hope that the next life will be better.

I really love Kurage-p not just for the catchiness of his songs and beautiful mvs, but really particularly for the stories he tells of "youth". I don't really know how, but he seems to be able to capture all sorts of feelings, some relatable, some not, as interesting metaphors. All the characters in his songs feel very alive and real, all striving for something.

[aluria-sevhex]

REVISITING THESE NOW THAT I'VE BEATEN THE GAME

featuring: i know everybody's pronouns now! although... everybody's pronouns are just further down on the Steam page... i may be stupid

obviously, spoilers below the read more

Siffrin: ---YEAH MY MENTALLY ILL ASEXUAL NON-BINARY FAVE

blorbo

little floofy wizard guy

---wizards aren't real :P

could commit war crimes and i would probably still love them

traumatized

idk wtf he did but they fucked up somehow. you do not end up in a time loop unless things have gone wrong.

---yeah a lot went wrong. also he LOVES HIS FAMILY SO MUCH IT NEARLY DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE TwT

needs a hug

depressed? depressed

crushed by existential dread

ok based on some of these moments in the trailers they did something horribly unspeakable

---eh yeah i guess. i mean. that Sadness got fucked up lmao. and. Act 5. but the moment in the trailer i was thinking of was in response to Sif being too good at fucking up Sadnesses

Basil energy AND THAT MAKES ME WORRIED FOR HIM "everything's fine :')" NO IT FUCKING ISN'T

---it was, in fact, not fucking fine

---congratulations to Siffrin In Stars and Time to being a concerningly relatable protagonist

Isabeau:

gay for Siffrin

---IT TOOK HIM THE ENTIRE GAME DJHSGEHFHDNS

seems chill

likes Bonnie's cooking AS THEY *he SHOULD

Mirabelle: ---YEAHHHH MY AROACE QUEEN

really sweet! will fuck you up

yeah sorry i don't have much

<redacted spitballing to fill up space but uh. there *was* a reason for a kid to be on the adventure. and :(>

Bonnie:

cooking gremlin

has sister issues or obtains them during the course of the story

---:( Nille...

would not want to be around in the kitchen because they're a terrifying force of nature i don't trust myself to not fuck up the food XD

Odile:

suffered for a phd

actually knows what they're *she's doing

also gay

---i mean. nothing contradicts it? but no actual evidence. however the exchange about multiple names and the one about the legality of Body Craft in Ka Bue are evidence for her possibly being trans

-----COMMENT ON THE COMMENT: I LOOKED IT UP AND INSERTDISC HAS CONFIRMED THAT IN CANON SHE IS SIMPLY 'queer' AND IS TOO OLD TO CARE ABOUT LABELS. HONESTLY MOOD TBH

babysitting everybody

---well her reason for joining the group was that leaving the task of saving the country to a bunch of young'ins would give her an ulcer so i guess?

---Odile's friendquest managed to somehow hit me in the relatability feels even tho my last connection to <redacted part of ancestry> is several generations ago. <redacted elaboration>

star head guy *Loop:

bitch

are they the reason Siffrin's in a loop?

---WELL. UH. WELL NO. BUT ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY YES KINDA DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

they know about the loop

will probably be like "oh i'll help you :)" and end up being a late-game boss

---hey if anybody who saw the initial post sees this reblog, quick question: did you find this guess funny

"have you tried not dying?" have you tried shutting the fuck up

---i can't believe i've gotten attached enough to this wonderful bitch to wanna get "Behind the scenes"

coping with the fact that i don't have ISAT by looking at the stuff on the Steam page and compiling my impressions of the characters

perhaps i should've used visuals but fuck it we ball

uhhhh using 'they' by default because i only know Siffrin's pronouns. also i'm not sure about Bonnie and Odile's names but like there's trailer footage of them attacking while the narration calls them that so. uh yeah.

Siffrin:

blorbo

little floofy wizard guy

could commit war crimes and i would probably still love them

traumatized

idk wtf he did but they fucked up somehow. you do not end up in a time loop unless things have gone wrong

needs a hug

depressed? depressed

crushed by existential dread

ok based on some of these moments in some of the trailers they did something horribly unspeakable

Basil energy AND THAT MAKES ME WORRIED FOR HIM "everything's fine :')" NO IT FUCKING ISN'T

Isabeau:

gay for Siffrin

seems chill

likes Bonnie's cooking AS THEY SHOULD

Mirabelle:

really sweet! will fuck you up!

yeah sorry i don't have much

possibly Bonnie's sister but i may just be grasping at straws, my only evidence is they both have darker skin than the other group members and the fact that there has to be a reason this kid is going on dangerous adventures

Bonnie:

cooking gremlin

has sister issues or obtains them during the course of the story

would not want to be around in the kitchen because they're a terrifying force of nature

literal child???

Odile:

suffered for a phd

actually knows what they're doing

also gay

babysitting everybody

star head guy:

bitch

are they the reason Siffrin's in a loop?

they know about the loop

will probably be like "oh i'll help you :)" and end up being a late-game boss

"have you tried not dying?" have you tried shutting the fuck up

[peterparkersnose]

Pressure

Din Djarin x reader

Mandalorian x reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: mentions of anxiety, descriptions of anxiety and anxiety attacks

a/n hi so i love this so much. im sorry if it seems a bit forced at the end, but it was a good ending. (I am in no way romanticizing anxiety in any way, I too suffer from it and thought it would be sweet if a character could relate to myself and so many others)

summary din is having a hard time with his emotions, y/n comes to the rescue

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 4 mins 48 seconds

Pressure. That is what Din Djarin was feeling between his temples. He recognized this as his usual anxieties. Worrying about the kid, his next bounty, you. He checked the cockpit to just make sure of his surroundings, and locked the hatch and removed his helmet. A depressive sigh came after the removal, causing Din to catch his breathe. He stared at himself in the beskar reflection. When was the last time he shaved? Got his hair cut? Genuinely took care of himself? Din stared into the reflection of his sad brown eyes when he suddenly heard a faint knock on the door. He put the reclusive thing back on his head and opened the latch.

“How’s it going?” you asked, bowl of fruit in hand. 

“Fine.” Din lied, accepting the treat from you. “You need to switch to auto pilot for a while, get some rest?” you asked. “No. I’m good.” Din replied.

You were used to his monotone mood so you left, leaving him to eat. 

Accept he couldn't. 

Din couldn’t bare to look at himself again. Expose his skin to the stars surrounding him. He felt like his life was crumbling down in front of him. 

Why? He honestly had no clue. He was on the way to the next planet for a bounty, so he was making money. He had his son in his care. The way that little guy acted sometimes just brought warmth to Din’s fragile heart. And he had you. Maybe that was a stressor? There was no relationship defined besides that you worked on his ship. But mechanics soon turned into babysitting, and babysitting turned into parenthood for the both of you. And with that, there was some loud unresolved sexual and/or romantic tension between the two of you. 

Din would often let his mind wander as he piloted. But this had gone too far this time. He had no idea why, but his heart started beating fast. 

Well, he had some sort of idea. He was thinking about you.

He would get these feelings usually at these times, or at night when he was alone. Imagining having you as a companion. A lover. A mother to his child. Someone that would always be there. Stable. 

But how could you love an beskar covered man? The most you’d ever seen of him was his leg when he got a nasty cut back on Tatooine. Din would go through heartbreak every single time he let his thoughts get too real. How could you ever fall for someone when you’ve never seen their face?

That is when he was set into panic mode. He quickly set the ship on auto pilot, causing the ship to slightly halt forward.

This is when you noticed the unannounced inconvenience, and went to go check on him. 

Din had cowered into the corner, beskar clanking against the metal walls. You heard this, and ran to go see what was the matter.

You found Din sitting on the ground in the corner. You didn’t notice him at first, until you heard a clank of beskar. 

“Din?” you concerningly asked, getting on your knees to his level. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?” you panicked, searching his armored body for any wounds. That is when you noticed his shuttered breathing and the slight ticks of his fingers against the floor. 

“Din, honey, you need to breathe.” you said to him. His heart skipped a beat when you called him honey. “I-I-I…” Din tried to say, loosing his breathe. His viser started fogging up, watching you melt away in the process. He pulled at his helmet, but was too disoriented to take it off. “What, what do you need?” you asked him, a hand resting on his thigh. He clawed at his helmet. 

“Din…” you pondered. “Are you really sure?” you asked him. He shook his head vigorously yes. “Would you like me to turn out the lights?” 

Din loved how you always spoke so kindly and softly, even in tough situations like this. 

“No,” he managed to breathe out. You clenched your eyes shut, feeling for the release hatch at the base of the mask. Once you heard it hiss, you removed it from his head.

You heard Din breathe out heavily, gasping for missing air. You froze, eyes clenched shut to try to not disrespect his beliefs. But Din was determined. He was willing to loose all of this, for you. He knew you would lie if anyone asked. And eventually, it was a common not-so-secret secret that Mandalorians would let their riduur see them maskless. Even if you two were not together, he was ready to start pursuing. He couldn’t deal with this stress anymore. 

His breathes were stabilizing as you felt a masked glove rest upon your cheek. 

“Cyar’ika,” he sighed. “Please, open your eyes.”

You almost fell backwards as you turned your head and opened your eyes slightly. Amazed at the sight of this man, you were immediately flushed. Shocked, wordless, in awe. Din stared back at your adoring gaze, interpreting it differently. 

“I know. I am hideous,” he said, looking down at the helmet in his lap. You extended your hand to his chin, picking up the face of the most beautiful man you had ever seen. You moved his chin right to left, examining everything on his face. You wanted that burned into your memory. 

“Do not say that. You are gorgeous, my love.” you smiled, watching his eyes turn with emotion. 

Din about melted when you called him my love.

And with that, he began to cry.

Din Djarin crying. A sight you never in a million light years you thought you would see. 

You embraced him, straddling him on the cool metal floor. You felt his soft brown hair between your fingers. It felt like gold silk. Your hand rested on his back, trying to hold him tighter through all the armor. 

And there you sat. Holding a sobbing Mandalorian. You were sure you were the only person in the universe that has had this experience. 

Once Din began to calm himself, he removed himself from the crook of your neck. 

“I am sorry. This was very inappropriate.” he said ashamed, face bright red. “I am here for you. Always,” you smiled, hands cradling his hair. “What has you all upset anyways?” you asked, moving some of the stray strands out of his face. 

“If I say, you will think I am a fool,” he sighed, looking away from your gaze.

“There is no timeline in existence that I will think Din Djarin is a fool.” you stated.

He loved when you used his name. 

“I-” he began to say. Din couldn’t put into words about what he felt for you. How he yearned for you. How he needed you by his side every day to make him complete. How he would present as an idiot for how much he was in need of you. Everything about you was absolutely perfect for him. You were worse than narco-spice. 

His riduur.

So, he showed you instead. 

His lips collided with yours so passionately. You weren't caught off guard, you were honestly relieved. You could tell Din was a little inexperienced in this field, but it only made you more in awe of him. 

When you two finally separated, you went deep into a hug. Din was caught off guard by this, but when you hugged him all of his anxiety went away. All of the angry and frustrated feelings were gone. 

“Y/N,” he whispered into your ear.

You gave a tiny moan of acknowledgement back. 

“If you would have me,” he began to say. You broke from his embrace, wanting to look him in the eyes, if you were right about what he was going to say.

“I would like you to be mine. My riduur,”

***

tag list: @peeta-is-useless @kirsteng42 @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, so you know “Justice League meets Batman’s kids, who they’d previously been unaware existed” AUs?

So picture that.....but this time, instead of them just having no knowledge of any of these other Gotham vigilantes at all....the Batkids all migrate to various cities as they get older and become known as their protectors - Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in San Francisco, Cass in Hong Kong, etc....

Meaning they’re all established figures, the Justice League are aware of them as solo local heroes who stick to their cities and so they just don’t interact with them much if at all, or else some are members of team lineups but are particularly vague about their histories or life outside of the team’s adventures....

So the big reveal isn’t that they become aware of all these other Gotham vigilantes all at once....its that some big conflict or whatever requires a huge team up of all available heroes, and in the aftermath, they figure out that like.....despite being known as solo heroes who work alone or loners outside of their team settings, 80% of these heroes all not only seem to already know each other, they seem to be related.

And so naturally they all turn to Batman, who has profiles on every known hero and they thus figure had researched these individuals too and just never mentioned this little detail, and they’re like, “Did you know about this?”

And then Nightwing turns to him too, arms crossed and is like, “Yeah Dad, did you know about this?”

And the infamous Red Hood is all: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never met any of these people before in my life. Lives? Whatever.”

And then Red Robin moodily grates out “I have no siblings.” Since he’s nursing a grudge since Dick and Jason broke into his apartment the night before and replaced all his custom Red Robin gear with Darkwing Duck merchandise and his vengeance will be swift and also totally disproportionate because things escalate quickly in this family, that’s true in every universe.

Cass meanwhile has deftly skewered Jason’s lie by walking over to him and brazenly patting down the man with many many guns with no fear whatsoever. He squawks and futilely attempts to bat her hands away as she riffles through his many pockets, but he doesn’t seem shocked, just annoyed. Eventually, she pulls away and triumphantly reveals a box of Hello Kitty themed band-aids.

“So these are yours then? Just for you?” Black Bat asks smugly. Red Hood squints at the box.

“What the fuck? How long have those been in my jacket? Why are those in my jacket? Did you freaking plant them in my jacket just on the offchance you could at some point in the distant future use them at my expense?”

Black Bat frowns, puzzled. “Yes?”

“Oh come on, Dead Hood,” Spoiler says with an exaggerated toss of her head meant to convey she’s rolling her eyes beneath her own mask. She skips her way across the room to Black Bat and then drapes herself languidly all over the smaller woman. Who in turn doesn’t so much as twitch beneath the sudden added mass as Spoiler holds out her hand towards the box of band-aids. 

“One please. I have a boo-boo,” she says with easy familiarity straight into the intimidating cowl of Black Bat. Only then does she deign to finish her train of thought with Red Hood.

“I mean seriously, are you saying you don’t have potential blackmail set-ups, pre-rigged releases of incriminating material, and a random assortment of traps, pratfalls and mortifying scenarios in place for the express purpose of being able to humiliate any and all of your siblings at any given moment, without any need for additional prep time?”

“Is this true, Little Wing?” Nightwing whirls on the larger Red Hood with a faux-scandalized gasp. The founder and leader of the Titans, formerly the Teen Titans, renowned for his stratagems and calm competence when directing squads of supers in the heat of battle while he keeps pace with nothing more than naturally acquired acrobatics and a utility belt that apparently uses the same technology as Wonder Woman’s invisible jet....now appears to be....staggering with the back of his hand pressed to his forehead, moaning about how he felt....faint? 

What is happening right now, several dozen superheroes want to know. Is this a drill? Are they supposed to be checking for signs of a mental ambush from undetected psychic saboteurs? Did they all hit their heads at the exact same time and are now experiencing some kind of shared mass concussion?

Look, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen on the Watchtower. 

“Have I failed you so utterly?” The veteran child hero bemoans with a dramatic twirl - that when contrasted with his stern demeanor of a mere ten minutes ago - makes the fears of telepathic infiltration seem less paranoia and more....concerningly probable. “Did you learn nothing from me? Did you learn nothing from B?”

He stops and jabs a finger up at the sky. “Quick, everyone! What is the very first rule of Living While Batty?”

As if by rote, over a half a dozen voices chime in from all over the room, causing various heroes to jump. Spooked by yet more and more vigilantes joining in some kind of mass recitation like they and they alone have some kind of clue what the hell is going on and everyone else just hadn’t been invited to the party. Which is just rude, honestly. Nobody likes feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Not even superheroes. 

“If you’re not going to bother preparing for every possible contingency and at least six impossible ones, you might as well just stay in bed.”

Even the Red Hood joins in the Illuminati chant or Cub Scout pledge or demonic ritual or whatever the fuck that just was, though his slumped and exasperated posture gives away every hint of sulkiness his headgear otherwise would have kept safely hidden. He’s surprisingly more...expressive, than most who’d only known of him by reputation had expected him to be. The day continues to yield surprises.

“Of fucking course I do,” he growls out, snatching the box from Black Bat. She doesn’t even fight to hold onto it, just lets it go with a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t surprised by the idea of it, I was just surprised she bothered with such a weak effort. Like yeah whatever, actually those could be mine. I use those all the time at home. So what?”

He aggressively yanks one of the band-aids out of the box, fumbles with the peel-off strips with one hand and he roughly rolls up the sleeve of his jacket with the other. Then just slaps it on his forearm and raises said appendage high, showing it off this way and that. “See?”

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Signal drawls from the other side of the room, nodding his head approvingly. “Totally convincing. Nice job walking that one back, you really showed them.”

Red Hood’s head snaps in his direction with ominous intent. “Watch it, Day-Glo.”

Signal just snorts.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna take constructive criticism on my name and costume from a dude who’s spent the last several years calling himself Red HOOD while running around in a freaking HELMET.”

“Its not meant to be literal, you fucking pedant.”

“So wait, its not literally a helmet? Huh, does it at least protect your head literally, or just like...symbolically? Like if Bane were to clock you across the head, would your concussion just be a metaphor? What’s the treatment protocol for a metaphorical concussion? Fluids, bedrest and a philosophical prescription of two chapters of Chicken Soup for the Soul as needed?”

“Laugh it up, KC and the Sunshine Band,” Red Hood bats back. “You just got yourself disinvited from Thursday night’s poker game.”

Signal just grins and folds his arms over his chest cockily. “Please. You’ve been looking for an excuse to ban me for weeks, cuz you know until you can prove I’m using my ghost vision to cheat, you can’t actually bring suit against me for it in Family Court.”

“That, and also Family Court isn’t a real thing, you toddler. Stop validating Wing-a-ding-ding’s obsession with Shitty TV Nostalgia and just call it that thing where Oracle traps us all in a room until we settle our latest fight without anyone getting stabbed.”

“Yeah, but like, say that five times fast,” Spoiler pipes up. “Its just not practical. Family Court’s way easier.”

“Says the one who’s not even in our fucking family.”

“And yet I grace you all with my sublime presence anyway,” she blows a kiss at him, beatifically unbothered. “You’re welcome.”

The Red Hood scoffs and rounds on his heel, zeroing in on Batwoman in the far corner.

“Hey Auntie B, my siblings are all dead to me and I just helped stop an alien invasion so I deserve nice things like a fun Saturday night. Can you get me into Dad’s fundraiser so I can crash it? He won’t put me back on the list until I promise not to bring any C-4 with me and I won’t promise not to bring any C-4 because he should just trust me that I won’t when I say I’m not gonna and he won’t trust me that I won’t until I admit I shouldn’t have brought any to that sting last month where three tiny little yachts blew up through barely any fault of my own, and I’m just not gonna do that ever because I have convictions and I feel I shouldn’t have to be punished for that. Y’know?”

Batwoman blinks at him. “Kid, I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my nephew and I love you, but I stopped listening three seconds into all that.”

“Ugh, fine. Can you help me crash Dad’s event tonight so I can teach him a lesson about why he should just trust me not to make a scene so I don’t have to always make a scene to make a point.”

“Tempting as you make that sound,” she says wryly, “I have a strict policy for dealing with you lot and your......everything. I only worry about tolerating one of you at a time, and there’s seven of you, and seven days in the week. You each get your own. You know perfectly well its Robin’s day today. You get me on Tuesday, just like always.”

“Auntie B, we’re not like other families, are we?” Red Robin’s delivery is sarcastically childish and his question clearly rhetorical. Most of his attention is fixated on whatever it is he’s doing with his wrist-mounted computer. 

“No sweetie, we’re all severely fucked in the head and a little bit too comfortable with that.”

“Just checking. Oh hey, Hood, I just emailed you a patch for the hole in your firewall I exploited when replacing all my shit using your accounts just now.”

“You did what?”

“Used your accounts to pay to replace all my stuff that you fucked with last night?” Red Robin says slowly. “Did you not realize that I’ve been sticking within ten feet of you for the past five minutes just so I could clone your devices and do all that while BB and Spoiler kept you distracted? I gotta say, bro, I feel like that’s on you then.”

Red Hood swivels his helmeted head in the direction of the aforementioned two. Black Bat waves. Spoiler shoots him an utterly unrepentant thumbs up.

“You’d side with your ex over me? That’s what its come to?”

“My only allegiance is to chaos,” Spoiler says brightly. Black Bat shrugs.

“Plus he bribes better.”

“Hateful,” Red Hood points at Black Bat, moving on to level the same finger at Spoiler, who curtsies in acknowledgment: “Hateful-er.”

Then the finger rounds the bases to aim judgmentally at Red Robin. “Hateful-est. And that was all Nightwing’s idea anyway, not mine.”

“Oh, I assumed as much,” he says casually. “Your idea of a prank tends to have more of a Carrie vibe. Or be a literal literary reenactment.”

“Its called an homage, 4chan.”

“Whatever, plagiarist. And anyway, I couldn’t go after ‘Wing for payback on this one. He used an Immunity card. If you didn’t want me getting back at you, you should have used one too."

Red Hood looms aggressively. Red Robin ignores willfully. Round and round they go. Superheroes who can survive excessive G-Forces are getting dizzy just watching them have a largely motionless stand-off. That shouldn’t be how that works, but whatever. All the most infamously reclusive and isolated heroes in all hero-dom are apparently part of the same one big reclusive and isolated family of fucked up weirdos and they’re all officially bonkers. Nothing makes sense anymore. Reality broke. Try another stall.

“Okay, but see, in order to have an Immunity card, I would have to participate in one of you losers’ stupid Immunity challenges,” the Red Hood drags out with exaggerated patience. “And I’m just not going to do that, on account of those all being fucking stupid. You see the problem there?”

Red Robin just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro. You can have principles or you can have an Immunity card. You can’t have both.”

Meanwhile, on another side of....the same room.....look, its like, an octagonal room, probably. It has a lot of sides. Robin fends off questions from an aggrieved looking Superboy.

“You never told me you had a bajillion brothers and sisters!”

“Yes but I never said I didn’t either.”

Superboy rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, so I should just assume everyone I meet has a bajillion secret brothers and sisters?”

“Well clearly it would have worked out in your favor in this instance if you had, now wouldn’t it?”

“Assuming of course that you can trust what has been said or implied here today and I am actually related to any of those numbskulls. Which I am not actually admitting to,” Robin tacks on hastily.

Superboy eyes him dubiously. “You joined in the same creepy chant all the others did and then got super self-conscious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Which uh. I did.”

“First off, your interpretation of body language is abyssmal. I do not get self-conscious,” Robin says with a delivery that probably could have benefited from being a little less self-conscious. “And second....that proves nothing. I guessed what they were going to say.”

“Word for word,” Superboy says super-skeptically.

“I’m very good at guessing things. You know this.”

“Okay. Guess how much I believe you right now then.”

Robin glares and folds his arms grumpily across his chest. 

“And what was that anyway? Was that like....you guys’ family motto or something like that?”

“Oh no,” Spoiler pipes up. “That’s much shorter.”

Superboy balks at that. “Wait, you guys actually have one of those for real?”

“Yup,” Steph says, counting out the words with her fingers. “He who laughs last....probably works for the Joker. So tranq him just to be safe. See? Only sixteen words. The first rule of Living While Batty is way longer, and what we said was just the abridged version. You should hear the original, before Black Bat put her foot down and refused to memorize it unless sizable edits were made.”

Superboy hovers between her and Robin now, both in mid-air and on the verge of taking Spoiler’s words as an invitation to hear just that. A low growl arises from Robin’s direction.

“Must you?” He asks the older vigilante, with a most put upon expression.

She looks at him pityingly. “Do you actually need me to answer that? Like, we’ve met, right? Hi, I’m Spoiler.”

“Wait, so Robin said that I just never specifically asked him if he had a bajillion brothers and sisters, and that’s why he didn’t tell me, so that means he wouldn’t have just lied and there’s not some code of secrecy that flat out forbids telling other people stuff, right?” Superboy realizes excitedly.

“Yes, excellent direction. Go on,” Spoiler says, steepling her fingers. Robin buries his face in the palm of one hand.

“Soooo, what other stuff could you tell me about Robin’s super top secret family that I wouldn’t think to ask about but that he would tell me about if I knew what questions to ask?”

She claps once, lightly but with emphasis. “Well done. You’ve passed the first barrier. Untold secrets await you behind just a few more.”

“I’ll get you for this,” Robin vows calmly. She waves a hand at him.

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do it before January 1st, remember? You’ve promised retribution like ten times already this year and those don’t roll over, y’know. Rules are rules.”

“Enough!” Thunders a voice then, from the front of the room. Well one of the fronts anyway. Like sides, it has a lot of them, but this is the one where Batman’s standing. All eyes snap to him. Which is kinda just what eyes do when Batman says stuff like that. Its like his superpower, except he doesn’t actually have superpowers, which is what makes it scary. But where the snapping of the eyes (directional) is usually followed by Batman saying something else besides just “hey look at me,” here he pauses in the wake of his own call to attention’s waning reverberations. Uncharacteristically silent.

Not that, y’know, he’s normally Mr. Talkity Talk, but usually his silences feel like he has the words to fill them, he’s just withholding them. This though, this feels more like he doesn’t have any words at all. And he’s as confused by it as any of them, and most everyone else is confused by Batman being confused, and its this whole trickle down economy of confusion and its wrecking havoc on the value of the golden silence standard.

Of course, not everyone present is rendered spellbound with confusion.

“C’mon B,” Nightwing cajoles, leaning forward and practically radiating delight. “I think you know what you have to do now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its not likely to come around again.”

Red Hood snickers beneath his helmet and chimes in. “Yeah Pops, go ahead. You do this and you’ll actually have my respect for a whole twenty four hours. No, wait. Sixteen. No! Eight. Yeah, eight. Still a good deal.”

“Carpe diem, B,” Red Robin grins, leaning back as if to enjoy the show.

“Hey! Infringe on my trademark one more time, dude,” Signal throws a faux-glare at the former. Red Robin just quirks an eyebrow.

“And what, you’ll start saying Yum every time you eat a burger? Oh no. I’m hoist by my own petard.”

Signal flips him off with a grin and then redirects his attention back to Batman. “Yeah seriously though B, you kinda gotta do it now. Because if you don’t do it, then you’ll forever be the guy who didn’t do it, and you don’t want to be that guy, do you?”

“Yeah you really don’t want to be that guy,” Spoiler shouts out. “Nobody likes that guy. He’s the worst.”

“Do it, do it,” Black Bat starts chanting beside her, steadily picking up speed and volume. Several others start joining in. Even Robin appears to be slightly anticipatory, albeit trying very hard to hide it.

Batman sighs, and somehow everyone manages to hear it. Stills. Waits for....something? Nobody but them seems to have any clue what, but the air is thick and heavy with portentiousness. Something is about to happen, and all most of the heroes present could say for sure is it was something they never would have in a million years seen coming.

Finally, Batman straightens with the resigned air of a man about to have oh so many regrets. He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and in an absolute deadpan monotone, says:

“You are awful children. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your father.”

[shiroichiban]

4town workforce au

uhhh, hi :33 i’m back after god knows how long of not writing to bring u my dumdum workforce au ideas :33 also if you saw this post fuck y’all it’s not a handy manny au >:((

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　robaire - barista/bartender　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

bet he’d have the like, really hot barista rep so college students would come to his cafe to take a peek at him but inevitably they’d stay for his coffee cause it’s really fucking good. and then at night his cafe turns into a calm little bar, he serves great specialty drinks to the point he’s been featured in a couple night life magazines!

he and jesse were college buddies therefore jesse is an extremely loyal patron to robaire’s cafe, plus robaire serves as his venting grounds. when robaire can tell jesse’s having a really rough time he’ll whip him up an ungodly concoction that’ll make jesse forget all about his worries~ and give him a massive headache after

z also happens to be a regular customer since robaire’s cafe serves some pretty good protein shakes, robaire knows his order by heart cause he never orders anything else (and he may have had a crush on him cause with those muscles how can you not—) he finally gave in and wrote down his number on the back of z’s receipt once and after a bit of a slow burn courtship they’re happily dating :33

sometimes he tries whipping up new drinks in his spare time and they’re either really good or spawn of satan bad, he has vomited a few of his own creations and honestly speaking robaire’s alcohol tolerance is concerningly high so you know there had to be something wrong with that drink

t’s the resident repairman so robaire calls him up to do some odd jobs every now and then, like “t the water is brown and smells like coffee.” “you work at a coffee shop, what’s the problem?” “n-no i mean the toilet water t.” it’s ok though he pays t a hefty sum for his work plus offers him a free discount on drinks so he doesn’t go unappreciated.

robaire actually knew tae as t's friend since he'd bring him around occasionally to take advantage of the free drinks he gets. he learned that tae's alcohol tolerance was scary that night and put a cap on how many drinks he should serve him for the sake of morning after tae young—

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　jesse - college professor　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

i’d give him the ‘wacky art teacher’ title but he’s too hot for that, he’s the resident hot professor that students always have a crush on at one point if they take his class. too bad he’s been gay and taken for awhile now but oh well, this man is stressed as hell by the way. will go out of his way to try and give less assignments so he’ll have to check less things but even then he suffers during hell weeks to the point he nearly got carpal tunnel from checking papers. but on the plus side he looks hot in glasses i guess?

the bar is his refuge though, he never comes by during cafe hours but once robaire sets up the bar he’s there almost the entire night (when he’s free of course he’s not that irresponsible) jesse used to be the official taste tester for robaire’s sample drinks but after a few bad ones let’s just say he tapped out of that role real fucking fast. might have had a fling with robaire when they were younger but honestly they both knew they were better off as friends so they broke up with no hard feelings.

since jesse had to witness the monster of a crush that was robaire’s on aaron z, jesse knows him by relation but also ended up going to one of his gym classes and actually liked it. jesse can admire the fact that z’s a damn good teacher and great motivator at that, they become good friends once he makes z swear he’ll never break robaire’s heart. he makes sure to drop by the gym at least once a week to the point z has come to expect him and even started giving him tips on workout clothes because no jesse, you cannot show up to a class in sweat pants and a pajama shirt.

tae and t were actually both jesse’s students at one point, although he never had a class with both of them together he knows t to actually be a pretty bright student, generally found him to be more engaged with hands on activities rather than pen and paper ones which he understood. t was generally a very earnest worker in his eyes and he appreciated that in him.

NOW TAE WAS A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY, cause jesse may or may not have developed a slight crush on him when he first saw him— and it didn’t help that tae young would always stay behind and ask questions, or participate in after school workshops that jesse hosted. he genuinely tried to keep his feelings as just attraction and nothing more but the more time he spent around tae it inevitably spiralled out of control when he ended up confessing. but luckily tae said yes so all’s well ends well! (although he did say that their relationship should be kept on the down low until tae graduates)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　tae young - florist　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

tae manages his college’s greenhouse but also part times as a florist in another more well known shop, generally just loves flowers and learned flower language long before he actually became a florist. started out as a volunteer with his college’s greenhouse until he ranked up to manager, but even that didn’t satiate his love for plants so he applied for a part time job that actually paid him money for his plant upkeep! he’s pretty popular around campus since people tend to buy their flowers from him (he offers student discounts even though they’re just flowers lol)

alright so about his relationship with jesse… tae couldn’t help it ok he’s hot :<< but other than that he genuinely loved how caring jesse was and how much effort he put into helping his students, especially since tae young didn’t exactly do the best in his class during the first semester. jesse genuinely went out of his way to help him then so he slowly started developing feelings… and he expressed those feelings with flowers! sometimes he’d give them to jesse straight up, hide them in his desk, press them into his homework (don’t worry jesse never gave him minus points for that), or some other roundabout way. and the moment jesse confessed to him he literally cried before saying yes—

tae has been to robaire's bar before thanks to t treating him to the free drinks that he gets there, he finds robaire quite charming and sweet so he understands all the campus buzz about the "really hot barista at the cafe"

tae and t are actually really close! they commute with each other to college everyday and have fun conversations all the way there, t was the first person tae told about his crush on jesse and t’s genuinely such an accepting friend. tae likes t cause he never judges him but also just cause he’s so fun to be around, also t is basically the hive mind for all the latest gossip so tae likes catching up on that kinda stuff.

now z and tae aren’t really close, they’ve only been acquainted a few times since z is robaire’s boyfriend and he’s jesse’s boyfriend so they’re still a bit awkward around each other. but tae thinks z is cool but also finds it really cute that he's shy since usually he's the one who leads conversations between them.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　aaron t - repairman　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

aaron t’s a repairman that a whole lotta people rely on since he can do various common and odd jobs, people will literally just say “if you have a problem go to aaron t!” and that’s kinda stuck as his tagline since then. he knows everyone in the community pretty well and is very well beloved considered the amount of discounts and free food he gets from the people he works for on the daily—

t is basically robaire’s assigned repairman since only he can deal with the random ass problems robaire’s cafe goes through. don’t even ask me how he managed to fix the toilet water thing cause i can’t give you an explanation. and t will admit, he may find robaire hot but he's heard him mention a boyfriend once or twice so he let it go

now jesse was t's professor during his first year of college and he has to say, the man is packing in the looks department hot damn. but also he felt very very worried for tae since he knew his feelings were fragile and he didn't want him to get hurt if jesse rejected him. nonetheless he gave his full support to their relationship and hey! it paid off cause now he has free access to the teachers lounge with the good snacks.

oh tae, beloved sweet tae young, t's best friend little brother scrunkly boy sweetheart platonic soulmate— anyways, t definitely sees tae as a little brother. he's supportive of whatever tae does and always tries to encourage him, they have a very caring relationship towards each other since tae also listens attentively to his problems.

ok z, jesus christ that was a fine ass man, t's done a few repairs for the gym here and there and z's supervised him a few times. a man of few words but t's chatter overcame it and they inevitably became good friends! z sometimes asks him for relationship advice regarding his boyfriend (who he soon learned was robaire so like, huh small world i guess?) and what kind of gifts he would like but t always just goes “whatever you get him, he’ll like dude.” a very sweet bromance between these two~

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　aaron z - gym instructor　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

i mean… are you surprised? he’s really good at coming up with workout plans for people of all ages and fitness levels, plus a very caring and genuine motivator when it comes down to it. now, have people gotten memberships at his gym just to check him out? yes, but he’s hot so what did you expect?? people to pass up the free eye candy of z in a really tight workout shirt that shows off his muscles?? but nonetheless z probably considered becoming a professional athlete at one point but decided to stick to helping people since that’s where he found he felt the best. probably coaches a grade school basketball team and they all love him and call him big bro z <33

now robaire’s his boyfriend (even he can’t believe it, kinda has this whole ‘aw man i don’t deserve him’ vibe every now and then), they share an apartment together and z helps him develop protein shake recipes~ endorses robaire’s cafe at his gym cause we love good ol’ business partner boyfriends. entrepreneur power couple in the finest sense also z helps robaire when it comes to heavy lifting during cafe renovations.

when jesse signed up for z’s gym z initially kinda thought jesse wouldn’t be able to do anything too intense, but surprisingly he proved him wrong. jesse’s actually pretty strong and he rarely needs help when manoeuvring equipment or keeping proper form, the only gripe z has with jesse is that his diet is shit. which i mean, is understandable he’s a teacher what else can he do, but z has to remind jesse he can’t replace water with whiskey and that in itself is concerning.

honestly z thinks aaron t is some kinda god, like he’s so knowledgeable?? on so many random things?? to be fair z only calls him around when the pipes to the shower room are acting up or if a machine isn’t functioning like it should but honestly the jobs he asks of t are always so varying and the fact that he can fix it all is so?? dare he say cool and fuel t’s ego even more… sometimes he asks him for relationship advice since he knows t to be good with people, but it seems that t really honors being true to yourself so z can respect that.

now tae, he may not know this but z coaches his little brother on the basketball team? so he knew him sorta, but then he introduced himself as t’s friend AND jesse’s boyfriend which was kinda a double whammy cause holy shit how have they not met officially until now?? tries to recruit tae into trying couples yoga with jesse cause z will always claim that he has the body and jesse’s joints probably need it, but other than that admires tae’s knowledge on edible flowers and thinks he’s cute when he starts passionately talking about plants.

[morelike-bi-light]

unplanned unexpected unwarranted vampire charlie au

au where bella decides she cant leave her dad behind like her mom did and convinces edward and carlisle to protect him too. carlisle ushers him out of the house and explains things to him, providing proof as needed - as much as he can. they go to arizona to hide out, charlie stumbling over his words to convince renee that he and bella were threatened and are in enough danger to need to hide out in a different state.

bella still gets the phone call, and renee doesn't answer when either of them call. when the others are distracted, she still gets away to meet james, but when the cullens go to save her, charlie's waiting outside with esme and rosalie (who are guarding him on the road instead). victoria is there too - and she gives them more trouble than they anticipated. emmett and jasper are distracted by the redhead and the noises from inside the studio getting louder and more concerning by the second.

when a scream rings out — he's never heard bella sound like this, not even when she was a mousy little girl buried under his seahawks baseball cap far too big for her head — charlie can't help but wrench open the door and run inside. his baby is cowering away from a bloodthirsty monster and there's not even a pause in his step as he sprints over to shield her form with his own, squeezing her against his chest and praying for the first time since he heard she wanted to come up to forks for the rest of school

his prayer's interrupted by a loud shattering sound and a malicious laugh. "aw, look at that! daddy's trying to save you. what a noble, pointless sacrifice!" a smack like stone hitting stone. "well far be it from me to deny a man his dying wish."

he doesn't hear what he says next - he doesn't hear anything, or see anything, because everything is white and sharp and pain, burning like a star, blooming in the crevice where his shoulder meets his collarbone. nothing exists right then but the cold fire in his skin, burrowing in his bone. it feels like hours before anything changes. the first thing to slip through is wet on his cheek and cool hands scrabbling to clutch at his.

"dad! dad!" bella? "edward! carlisle! anybody, any of you, please, I need help! my dad — needs help!" a hand on his cheek, trembling and frantic. "dad just hang in there! somebody help us!"

his fingers twitch, stretching towards her. "bella —you okay — bells — "

"im okay! im okay, im so sorry, dad, im so sorry! im sorry, it shouldnt have been you — this is all my fault — edward! edward please, you have to help him!"

hers is still the only voice he can discern but there are more emerging, blending together but getting closer. he catches snatches of words like 'bit', and 'spread', and 'minutes', and 'sorry', and 'safety'. a pale shape stands at the edge of his vision, and at once he's lifted from the floor. he convulses, eliciting another audible choke from his sweet daughter, and he recognizes a familiar, soothing voice from above.

"we can't stay here..."

"what? what do you mean?"

"we'll bring him back with us..."

"what are you going to do?"

"let him take him, bella, please"

"we'll watch over him, i promise."

"Im not leaving him, i can't just let him go!"

"i promise," softer. "jasper — will he sleep?"

the world softens and fully crumbles away. there's nothing left. nothing but fire.

time doesn't exist here, but then the fire, it doesn't go out. yet it stops hurting. it stops eating. it starts feeding. a single thought pops into his head that will make no sense to him when he recalls it later — a weary 'oh. i see.'

three days after the ballet studio, he wakes up to a brown popcorn ceiling. he blinks. he can see every crack and cranny in the plaster.

"mr. swan?" a tinkling voice says, and he sits up. "good, I thought you'd be up." the little black haired cullen girl beams up at him, chipper but sorry. her hand is curled around his wrist. "bella will be back any moment, and carlisle soon after. they're just across the hall, actually. he says we'll need to look after you for a while, just in case, —"

she pauses, just soon enough to avoid being interrupted by the sound of beeping and pressing keys and the door swinging open. bella is whole and wonderful — he can see every inch of her and she's really actually fine, not even a scratch — and she freezes seeing him but then she's flinging herself forward, pale face contorting

"dad—!"

"b-bells," he stands up, quickly, too quickly, to meet her, tugging alice along with him, but edward catches his girlfriend's hand and holds her back as he voices her objections to her entering at all. charlie scowls at first, when a scent reaches his nose — a smell that might've made his stomach growl if it could. his eyes cast up in open question.

edward is stiff, eyes looking conflicted but legs poised to pounce. "it's her."

"oh." charlie shifts uncomfortably on his feet, properly spooked, willing the despairing thirst away. as moments pass since making the connection, the scent of blood — of food — fades, to the point he can hardly detect it at all. it's a sharp relief.

"you — how do you feel," bella forces out, eyes locked with his with an uncomfortable intensity that makes him squirm and anxiously rake a hand through his hair. carlisle and the others filter in behind her and he's grateful for something else to look at, now he knows she's safe.

"better," he settles on. "than before, I mean. was that — did —" he waits for someone to interrupt him and fill him in, but it's quiet. "are you okay?"

a bark of laughter bursts from her chest and she assures him she's fine, eyes wide and brows furrowed like she can't believe he's a real person, the way she gets sometimes when he says something so awkward and sincere it makes her want to groan. but she doesn't want to groan anymore. instead she's torn between crying and singing.

"what do you remember?" carlisle asks, gently stepping forward, his gaze a mix of clinical fascination, wary confusion, and personal concern. charlie would flush beneath it... but the heat never comes to his cheeks.

"exactly how much are you looking for," he grumbles. "last thing i recall..." no need to go into the pain. "finding bella with that... guy at the studio."

"just finding her?"

"trying to protect her," he amends, focused on avoiding everyone's gaze. "and... it was..." then he notices how much there is to see, even when hes trying not to look at anything. he frowns. absorbing this much — it feels like a headache, minus the pain itself. overload. "it was him wasnt it. he bit me"

esme and jasper nod, but carlisle and bella just look away, the brunette visibly cringing. edward's jaw tightens, and for some inexplicable reason, the sight of that is what makes it all click for him.

"so," he fumbles for a second, but the word comes out so clean and sure when he says it, not at all like he feels. his mouth is physically incapable of tripping over itself like hes used to, no stammer, no stumbling. he grimaces and all the muscles pull exactly like he intends them too. he shakes his head. "he bit me. and? can i assume that's what's got me feeling so weird? the... some sort of effect of the bite?"

bella doesnt answer. neither does carlisle. surprisingly, it's that blonde girl that replies, though not to him.

"show him," she says, and after a moment, esme creeps forward, gesturing for his hand. he hesitates, but takes it. edward shifts to place bella behind him, as if she needs to be protected from him the way charlie protected her from james, a move that breaks his heart. gently, esme maneuvers him over to the bathroom. she turns on the lights, though she didn't really need to. he blinks. red. in the middle of a face with skin more suited to a shelf at a morgue than the tasteful backsplash of the bathroom, framed with dark, curling, concerningly long lashes, his irises were red. that wasn't it, either.

"am i..." he huffed. "am i seeing things, or am i way better looking than usual?"

a ripple of good humor disturbs the room, from esme's warm giggle, to a watery chuckle from bella, to a great, booming crow from emmett.

"way to focus on what's important, chief," alice nods, at the man's back in an instant. she doesn't sound nearly as sarcastic as those words should warrant. "finally, a man after my own heart."

"wait till you try running for the first time," emmett interjects, joining her behind him. "mind, blown."

some of the other family members sigh and shake their heads. charlie runs his eyes along his sharper jaw, still sprinkled with the stubble he'd acquired in the preceding chaos, now even and almost roguish where before hes pretty sure it made him look old and unkempt. he looks younger, he thinks, not young exactly, but good. better than his age.

he pulls away from his reflection, eyes flickering from face to face around him. he might even have said that he fit in with the mythically beautiful family. hes struck by how silly he was to dismiss the strangeness of the gorgeous, antisocial group out of hand, now that he sees how strange he's become himself, before his eyes fall to his daughter.

"im sorry dad" she mumbles, humor evaporating, and a pain resounds like a crack in his chest.

slowly, carefully, he moves forward, and the rest of the vampires stand on high alert as they realize what he's about to do. bella's eyes are bloodshot and he presses his lips together in a bittersweet line as he wraps her in his arms and tucks her close, just under his chin. a shudder runs down his spine as a phantom pain ghosts over his shoulder, but he brushes it aside and it evaporates like water. when he breathes in, she smells the way she always has, and he is not hungry.

"it's okay, kiddo. we'll get through this. im just glad you're okay."

and they do. charlie's vampiric powers are related to shielding, like his daughter, but his are more like putting things on mute, if that makes sense. small things, obviously, and usually physical. he's got a great deal more resistance to thirst than most newborns, for example, because it's muted by his powers, particularly for those he cares about. unfortunately this makes it likelier for him to, uh, die of thirst, as it's possible for him to forget to feed. and he can't block edward from hearing his thoughts completely, but they're muffled naturally by his powers (and always will be. hes not helping anyone into his head any time soon, especially not his daughter's boyfriend). he can also mute his own scent to the shapeshifters — which means he and billy, after things are all sorted, will still be able to hang out and be best friends!! he can also mute his own footsteps,

anyways this started as a meme post intending to go into how comedic it would be if charlie got changed and bella spent the rest of the series complaining that edward wanted to spend the rest of eternity with her father but not with her but then i got struck with some mad charlie feels and this happened so anyways vampire!charlie everyone @charlieswanismyrealdad @effervescent-emmett @cullen-trash @emmettmccartycullen @jaspell @leahclearwaterdefensesquad is this anything

[nyarmand]

my ranking of the alex rider original series (stormbreaker through scorpia rising) from ‘book i least enjoy rereading’ to ‘book i most enjoy rereading’ let’s goooo

spoilers for all 9 books under the cut

9. Ark Angel

...He went to space. He went to space. Also the entire plot could have been avoided if Drevin had actually bothered to provide a photograph of his son. I’m sure he had one. I still like this book but it’s literally so insane that I just don’t know what to do with it. 

It is however really funny that Webber just goes and gives a speech insulting this super high-profile ecoterrorist group and acts like it’s no big deal and then they kill him. Shock of shocks.

8. Skeleton Key

Okay, points to this book for terrifying the shit out of me. God damn it does that shark scene scare me. Also, points for making me feel a little bit bad for a man who wants to nuke his own country because he thinks it will fix the place up. I’m still not entirely sure how that’s supposed to work, but that’s probably a good thing. I feel like understanding his thought process would say bad things about me. Still, I actually did feel sorry for him, if only a little. Dude was clearly mentally unstable and I doubt his son’s death helped at all. I also got sad about what happened to Carver and Troy. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a cringe fail American who has the American release. So sue me.) What a nightmare that must’ve been to endure... Otherwise, though, I’m not super into this book. The opening is just kind of meh and the way it leads into the rest of the plot seems a little bit unbelievable. Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but Sabina annoys me. I would not get along with her at all and I can’t imagine her as a girlfriend. Skeleton Key does, however, absolutely excel at the emotional scenes. 

Also, why are all the spy agencies so comfortable with sending in a 14-year-old? Especially when they outright admit that the other attempts have all died horribly? Bureaucracy’s a bitch.

7. Point Blank

Boo, Dr. Grief! Boo! We hate your white supremacy! I’m so glad you got a snowmobile to the face, you deserved it. (Perks of books written by Jewish people--we aren’t afraid to give the neo-Nazis an unpleasant death.) Anyway, this book definitely isn’t bad, but I wouldn’t really say it stands out in the series. It definitely does hammer home the point of just how trapped Alex is, since MI6 isn’t going to just let him go after one mission, and let’s face it, the plot with the clones is creepy as hell, if highly improbable. But I’m largely just here to see the neo-Nazi get snowmobiled. That’s right, I just completely changed the definition of a pre-established word. I’m a rebel.

Also, I hate Fiona Friend so much and overall think she just didn’t need to be in the book, but the line about ‘I’d rather kiss the horse’ made me laugh so hard. Alex, you sass.

6. Snakehead

Okay, let’s talk about how genius the plan in this book is. I love it! I love how Yu wants to kill the people involved in the peace conference without making them into martyrs, so he comes up with this whole elaborate plan to stage a natural disaster. It’s incredible. This dude was thinking so far ahead. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling kid... But anyway, I don’t see a lot of books where the villain really acknowledges that killing their enemies could just cause more problems for them via turning them into martyrs for a cause. Also, the way he’s so polite and soft-spoken while also being a complete monster... This book genuinely gives me chills. Extra bonus points for the part in the hospital, the absolute nightmare of having all your organs slowly removed and sold off and everyone around you is being so nice about it? ‘Oh, don’t worry, Alex, it won’t be so bad. Here, take your medicine. Do you need anything?’ Literally just. What the fuck. 

Also Ash can fucking fight me. You put your own godson in horrible danger on purpose! You killed your best friend! Bastard. 

...And just in case the book wasn’t disturbing enough, Yu’s fate at the end lives in my mind rent-free and I think about it on a concerningly regular basis considering that the chances of that happening to me are so low they’re practically in the negatives. Damn you, Horowitz.

I would also be remiss if I did not mention just how much I love the tagline ‘once bitten, twice spy’.

5. Crocodile Tears

Ah yes, the book that kickstarted my drift away from the church... I kid, of course. I drifted away from the church for completely separate reasons. But Desmond McCain is always going to scare the shit out of me. The ability to kill countless innocent people while blissfully quoting Bible verses (that he takes wildly out of context and uses for his own self-serving means) is... well, I could actually say a lot about what that reminds me of, but I’m here to rate books, not religion. Moving on. This book has some really stellar antagonists, and the plot is chilling in a way that feels a lot more realistic than most of the other books. Even if some of it is a bit farfetched (sabotaging a nuclear power plant? Really?), the idea of using disasters for your own profit... well. I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate on why that is so believable. The Poison Dome is also a really cool and chilling scene--even Alex, who has the luck of the devil, can’t get out of that one unscathed. Further scares come in with the fate of Harold Bulman--imagine having your entire existence wiped and your identity changed while you were asleep! The breakdown he has over it is almost enough to make me feel sorry for him, even though he was ready to exploit a teenager and make his life a living hell just to turn a profit. Note the word almost.

Also. The opening makes me cry. Specifically the line talking about how Ravi’s kids would ‘never meet Mickey Mouse’. I lose my goddamn mind every single time I read it. That little personal touch turns the scene from a statistic to a tragedy. Once again: Damn you, Horowitz.

4. Stormbreaker

Yeah, this one gets the special cover shot. And why not? What we are looking at here is the birth of a legend. Move the fuck over, James Bond, Alex Rider is on the scene now. Anyway, yeah, this book is pretty damn spectacular. It has its stumbles, but as the first book in a series, that’s to be expected. Still, it pulls you in from quite literally the first line and keeps you going right up until the end. (If you came here from my post of memes, you know how much the line ‘Killing is for grownups, and you’re still a child’ destroys me.) It has the debut of much-beloved characters such as, of course, Alex--but also Jack Starbright, and of course, the best MI6 agent of them all, which is to say Smithers. Hell, even Yassen Gregorovich, especially once you get through Russian Roulette... Man, that was a rough one. 

Seriously, though. This is a really good book. The scene with the Portuguese man-o’-war still gives me the chills to think about. (Have you ever looked up pictures of those things? They’re beautiful, but holy shit will they make you regret being born. Nature is funny like that.) 

We also get the introduction of, of course, Alex’s patented sass (his response to Sayle saying he relates to the man-o’-war is HILARIOUS) and we get the inherent humor of Alex screwing up an alias one time and then just going by Alex for the rest of the series so he doesn’t do that again. Really, kid, I know you’re not a trained spy or anything but did you never play pretend growing up? Ever? You can’t pretend your name is Felix for a little while? That sounds like a you problem.

3. Scorpia Rising

I distinctly remember when this book came out, actually. I was on vacation at the time, and I remember my brother annoying the hell out of the poor workers at a bookstore we frequented there to see if/when they were going to get it in. They did, finally, and we bought it immediately, and I was of course absolutely desperate to read it. He got to read it first, though. -_-

This is a great book, an absolute emotional rollercoaster all the way through. The way Blunt tricks Alex back into service by staging a shooting was exactly the kind of cold, brutal behavior I’d expect from him. Seeing Julius come back was shocking, but very exciting, too. And Razim makes an incredibly chilling villain, with his absolute disregard for human life and his desire to measure pain. Also, seeing Smithers’s house was so much fun. Smithers in this book was just really fun in general, but he’s really fun in every book, so... nothing unusual there. But also, I want an unwelcome mat. Please?

2. Eagle Strike

‘But Penny,’ you might ask, ‘why is this book so high on your list? It has so much of Sabina in it, and you said she annoys you.’ That is true. What does not annoy me, however, is basically the entire rest of the book. I love the tense opening, and then reading through Alex’s real-life ‘playthrough’ of Feathered Serpent is still one of my favorite scenes. Cray is absolutely incredible as a villain, with the way that he truly believes in his cause--which is undoubtedly a good one! Yet the extremes to which he will go for that cause, and the fact that he very nearly succeeds, are what elevate him to one of the most dangerous villains in the series. That scene with Charlie Roper and the nickels is something I can never seem to stop thinking about. Actually, I think about it basically whenever I think about large amounts of money paid in small increments... 

Also, I really enjoy how he gets into the whole plot in the first place, and I really enjoy Smithers saying ‘ah, fuck it’ and helping him out anyway. Go, Smithers. You once again prove me right in saying that you’re the coolest adult in MI6.

The revelation that Yassen knew Alex’s father is one that absolutely blew my mind first time around. The way his life was threaded into the lives of the Rider family--he worked with John Rider, was saved by him, killed Ian Rider, and then died for refusing to kill Alex Rider--wow. Wow. It gets to me. It really gets to me. This book is a masterpiece. I heard that it’s going to be what the second season of the TV series is based off of, and I’m so hyped for that. We love to see it, we really do.

1. Scorpia

I don’t believe anyone who says this book didn’t get to them at all. I just think they are lying. I don’t think it’s humanly possible to not be affected by this book. God. Just thinking about it reminds me of why I don’t think it’s possible. I mean, come on. We get all this backstory about Alex’s parents, we get tricked along with him into thinking MI6 killed his father, then bam, that was a lie, and Alex may have just fucked himself over big time. Also, that plot is terrifying! (And I bet anti-vaxxers had a field day with it, huh.) Julia Rothman is a really great antagonist, one of the only ones who didn’t go and explain her plan in great detail to Alex--the fact that she didn’t actually being a plot point was something I personally found pretty clever. In general, this book is... I tend to hate when people say they ‘can’t put it down’ because it’s usually an obvious exaggeration, but that really is how I feel reading it.

And again. If that ending didn’t get to you... Well, I just think you are lying.

[diana-prince-s]

please don’t escape from the internet before i can find the time to learn english until i’m proficient and become sophisticated, so i can articulate and type out the complexity of how you have

helped me come to terms with my sexuality

opened my eyes to queer culture and activism

changed my perception of muliebrity

and question the ways in which i - rather concerningly - relate whenever you write about family dynamics (particularly with motherly figures, biological or not) and how it always hits so close to home and somehow has the most cosy and accurate depiction despite not necessarily being portrayed through rose-coloured glasses all at once

this... is everything. I don't know. this means everything to me. first of all, become proficient??? mama you just taught me a new word (I had to look up muliebrity and wow that's a fascinating way to say womanhood and I've gotta look into the nuance but that might be a cool way for me to describe my womanhood as a genderqueer butch-identifying person).

I've been very frank and honest about what I want to do in life and why. I want to tell stories because stories were important to me when it came to coming to terms with my sexuality. I can't illustrate for you vividly enough how it felt to, at 15, be awake in the middle of the night with the gripping fear that I had when I realized I liked girls, and then the emotionless calm as I clicked on the next episode of Glee because it was mind-numbing positivity and acceptance. As I clung to each and every queer and queer-coded character to feel less alone because I was afraid to come out to my friends and swore I would never come out to my family. The ache that lasted weeks when I eventually had to come out to my mom only a few months later and she told me I'd never be normal, the ache that only went away when I watched the strong and confident Lexa fall in love with the beautiful and fearless Clarke Griffin. The heartbreak I felt when Lexa died and the true purpose I felt for the first time in my life when I said "I'm going to write television one day and I will never do to my viewers what The 100 did to me."

I've made this about me, but only so I can be honest and so you can find comfort in knowing that I understand you, and so you can know how much what you just said means to me. Because I have always wanted to be for others what I both did have and didn't have. Baby, I am so proud of you for coming to terms with your sexuality and I am so glad that I could have helped with that. I remember how hard it was for me, and I know how important community is, so if I can be that community for you, I will continue to be it. I am happy to be it.

You can't learn too much about queer culture and activism, and you can't learn from too many people, either. Sometimes learning about this stuff from Tumblr can be toxic (ask one of my friends from high school who learned everything about everything queer from Tumblr and said it to us with her whole chest, and it ended up being really damaging for my self esteem). I'm trying to be authentic and honest, and while I've done a lot of research, while I pay attention in the world, while I've taken classes, and while I really have learned from the brilliant people around me -- I am only one person and one experience with a lot of privilege in this world. I try to keep it real. And if you learned something from me, that's really great. But keep learning, because it's really going to make a difference for you. And I can just be your jumping off point, because there's so much more to learn!

And muliebrity, womanhood... man, it's complicated. Family is complicated. I've given you a little bit of insight to my family dynamics, and maybe that's why I've been fascinated by motherhood and mother/daughter dynamics. Because mine are so good and so fucked up at the same time. I'm sorry that, in some ways, you can relate. I hope that doesn't mean that things are too bad. I don't think there's any reason to "owe" family anything, you don't "owe" family respect or forgiveness, because family are just people. You can become family with strangers and you can make your family strangers just as easily. I think our media has a really interesting thing about forgiveness and family members. We prioritize the biological family and refuse to cut off abusive family members in media, going so far as to give them redemption arcs. Especially mothers, because they are the "carriers" of the children. There's a lot here that has to do with domesticity, with mothers being the emotional centers of the household in traditional and conservative families, with mothers being seen as "incubators" and letting fathers off the hook for childcare. I don't know if any of this makes sense or even is relevant, but: I am so glad what I have to say resonates with you.

Literally, you've made my night. Maybe my life. And baby, I see you liking my posts all the time, and I'll leave you with this: I'm happy you're here. I'm always happy to see that you've read what I have to say and care enough to let me know that you like it. Thank you so, so much