#too gruff to gaf

[sparkly-sediment]

Tf2 Headcanon

Soldier has an auditory processing disorder and so really doesn’t know what the fuck people are talking about. He can hear just fine! But the word soup pours in one ear and out the other. Half of his aggressive blunders come from him a( not knowing the plan and b( never asking questions and simply attacking

it’s why he never has too much back and forth with Scout, Sniper, and Heavy. They either talk too fast or mumble (or have a thick as fuck accent) and Solider just goes “affirmative”

[0rcinusd0rka]

Marauders x whale watch???

I work at a whale watch/whale research org. so of course i have to mash my two biggest fixations together.

Effie: owner. baddie marine biologist, mostly goes to conventions now but will be the naturalist (person talking on the microphone) on specialty trips.

Monty: captain. all captains need to be gruff middle aged men that won’t hesitate to chew you out but also will be your father figure.

James: deckhand. he decided to not get a college degree, so isn’t certified to be a marine biologist/naturalist but he will info dump to the passengers. is like the only crew member to not own a camera because he prefers to “be in the moment”. the sweetest with seasick passengers and kids. Brings in INSANE tips.

Sirius: Also a deckhand, but dabbles in videography with drones sometimes (he is jealous of regulus). He loves the wildlife, but is mostly there for the lore of saying he worked on a boat. finds everything but killer whales to be lame. is discretely hitting his pen the entire trip. Also brings in great tips, or none at all

Remus: Grumpy photographer. Doesn’t interact with passengers much, but has a soft spot for the really passionate kids. He will complain about the cold or the ocean being rough but never fails to show up every day. Is just as there for the seabirds as he is for the whales. Probably has a degree in environmental science

Peter: Actually has a marine biology degree, but gets violently seasick so he works at the front desk/shop. Often travels with Effie for conventions and lectures.

Regulus: Grumpy photographer #2. Does 50/50 photography and videography. Is lowkey famous on instagram for his drone footage, but he doesnt gaf. Is pissed sirius wants to keep trying his drone. Also is not formally hired, he just shows up and gets free tickets from James. Is a marine biology student.

Barty: works at the italian seafood place next door to the shop. Makes fucking killer calamari. Probably wants to die every time he sees a mob of whale watch employees waling over every day to pick up their lunches. Writes threatening messages on each of their take out boxes.

Evan: Works with a fishing charter company that uses the same spot on the dock as the whale watch. Constantly beefing when they have two trips arriving at the same time. However, has a soft spot for the whales and often will radio them if they find any good sightings while on a fishing trip.

Pandora: Works in the shop with Peter and designs all of the merch. Yaps too much when checking in passengers, but she gets the job done and people love her. Is definitely knitting at the desk.

Dorcas: marine biologist/naturalist. Girly is NOT a deckhand, and refuses to deal with sea sick people or engine work (lucky). But she will help if absolutely needed. Is amazing on the mic, and never fails to get big tips.

Lily: Marine biologist/naturalist. Effie’s right hand man, and is constantly overworked but loves it. Dolphin girlie at heart. She is also working on getting her captain’s license.

Mary: Works with Peter and Pandora in the shop. Is by far the most productive, and does not take any shit from people complaining or being Karens. Does get passive aggressive when responding to any bad google reviews. Gives free stuff away to people constantly.

Marlene: Deckhand! She, Sirius, and James cannot all be scheduled for the same day though nothing will get done. She is the best at any mechanical issues, but the worst when it comes to passenger interactions. The only person who can fix the broken coffee maker. Is always wearing t shirts, even when its december and people are borderline in snow gear