#too good to just be a throwaway second part of a song

[deadthehype]

Chance the Rapper - Paranoia

[gabessquishytum]

Was reminiscing about a part of my life I sort of just forgot about and decided to make it dreamling. Yolo.

Dream is incredibly insecure about his body. He’s always wearing tons of layers and long coats and doing everything possible to hide how unattractive he thinks he is. Then for his birthday, Desire signs him up for pole dancing classes (they frame it very teasingly, but in truth they really do think it would be good for their brother. They’d never say that to his face though). Luckily they have Death on their side and manage to convince him to at least try out one class.

He shows up very very nervous. He’s wearing exercise clothes, but still as fully covered as he can be and practically shrinking into himself. But the studio is honestly… very comfortable. The lights are dim, and there’s soft music playing and pillows on the ground, and while the poles are very intimidating, there’s not a single mirror in the whole place. And of course, the instructor is so welcoming and soothing, and so patient with Dream’s nervousness (and the nerves of the other students- it’s a little relieving almost to know he’s not the only one insecure and nervous). It also helps, Dream is a little ashamed to admit, that the instructor doesn’t look the way he expected. He’s heavier set, with abundant body hair, and loose torn up gym clothes.

As the class goes on, Dream feels… better than he expected. Everyone else is learning with him, there’s no mirrors to obsess over what he looks like, and they’re all encouraged to be vocal in their compliments and encouragement to each other. Dream starts to feel more in touch with his body, feeling how it moves to do the simple spins they start with. The instructor always reminds them- here, they’re dancing for themselves. If they feel good, then that’s what matters.

And at the end of the class, the students all take a seat on the pillows on one side of the room, and are told to pick a song for their instructor to perform a dance to. He improvs a simple routine, but incorporates the moves they learned in that day's class, while also showing them how those moves are foundational for more complex spins and tricks, and how they can all build together into a cohesive dance. Dream is enraptured, watching how strong and elegant he is, but also how happy and how comfortable he seems. Dream realizes that more than looking any certain way, he wants, so badly, to feel like that.

Hob gets it. He’s been there. He used to be so down and negative about his body, too caught up in his insecurities to really live life. He got lucky that his friend Johanna dragged him to his first pole dancing class. He got even luckier that the instructor, Eleanor, was so kind and patient with him, even as he fumbled and resisted any pushback to his negative self worth. He learned a lot in those classes- he learned how amazing his body really was, and developed an honest passion for pole dancing, which was lovingly encouraged by his instructor-turned-wife. When Eleanor passed, he took over the studio in her honor.

Apparently, he’s following in her footsteps more than he expected… by falling for one of his students.

-🦇

Pole dancing Hob!!!! We all need a pole dancing Hob!!!!

Dream is surprised to find that he wants to go back to the class a second time. He's even more surprised that he finds the courage to take off his hoodie and do the class with bare arms - considering how much he generally covers up, its a big step for him. He's a little overwhelmed, honestly, and finds himself lingering in the studio after the class is over. He's trying to soak up how the place makes him feel, hoping that he can take some of that feeling home with him.

Hob notices him and the two end up sitting on the cushions together, where Dream admits that he's struggling with these complex thoughts about his body and self worth. He makes some kind of throwaway remark - "I wish I looked more like you, I wish i had your confidence." and Hob chuckles gently. He explains that it took him a long time to be at peace with his body. He spent way too long over-exercising and trying to maintain a physique that just wasn't healthy for him. Now he considers himself to be in the best shape of his life because he's HAPPY, and having a bit of cushioning is just an added bonus.

Dream is a little bit in awe. He's never had an honest conversation about bodies and stuff like that before. He's maybe a tiny bit in love with Hob already, and it only has a little bit to do with his incredible arse.

And honestly, Hob is a little bit in awe of Dream. He sees true courage in his new student's eyes as he takes to the pole each week, learning new skills and even developing bonds with the other students. It's kind of sexy seeing a man confront his fears and experience personal growth. Maybe Hob will make a move... After he's finished choreographing an intricate routine for them to perform, together <3

[02511213942]

I love your art style and the way you draw different body types and your username. Hello. Hi, just a fan. Also, do you have any favorite aftg fics?

🥹 THANK YOU!!! you're very kind!! ! i hope to get better at drawing different body types and i like my username too!!

i do have lots of fic recs, but i've been sitting on and incubating this ask for too long so here are just five that have been on my mind again most recently!

til death do us part by @alcego

We follow Neil's professional exy career, including the ups and downs, from beginning to end.

IF IT FEELS LIKE THIS FIC WAS MADE IN A LAB FOR ME IT'S BECAUSE IT WAS!! COMMISSIONED FROM THE BRILLIANT AJ :)) if you loved reading the games in the books u will looove this... sports-heavy outsider pov and media snippets, neil gets a concussion, andreil being odd and cute, kevin day is there. all is well in the world.

Signs of Life by moonix @annawrites

In which Kevin works the graveyard shift, Andrew is the witching hour cryptid, and Neil guards the ice-cream freezer.

if i were andrew i'd make out with neil in aisle ten too... kevin thinking about his breakfast sandwich and andrew needing to touch of the roots of his box blonde hair I LOVE YOUu....

burning with you by @seasy33

The crowd whistles and cheers. People on the dance floor start to pair together, pressing close and swaying. As the song really begins, Neil realizes he knows it and starts humming along, playing idly with the ring on Andrew's finger. Andrew's hand twitches. "You know this song." Neil nods against his shoulder, still humming. "You don't know who Aerosmith is, but you know Shania Twain." Neil shrugs. - Neil and Andrew go to a bar and end up sort-of serenading each other --with country songs. That's it, that's the fic

feral stick figure on all fours dot jpeg. whenever you're still the one or johnny and june come up on my spotify shuffle i think of this fic and my aura acquires a gentle pink glow. i love country music :)

Every Sinner Has A Future by OfficialStarsandGutters

Canon divergent Neil x Aaron. - Neil Josten. A shock of red hair and ocean blue eyes. Pretty faced, but nothing special. Except he makes a throwaway comment about Andrew being off his meds and it’s like everyone in the room forgets to breathe. Even Aaron, his body still and tense with surprise that he can tell them apart. Without even having met Aaron, he knew Andrew wasn’t him. That shouldn’t mean anything. Aaron rubs his sweaty palms on his skinny jeans and tells himself it doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

my fav rare pair and the fic ever for them 🥹 aaron minyard i've really come around to you and i'll even let you take my son out if you have him home by 10.

sunset, like survival by animediac @jaywalkers

The first time Neil dies is devastating. The second time is just as bad. The third time has them wondering if there’s a way out of this loop that doesn’t end with Neil dead. - Night, after night, after night. Baltimore isn't something that just happens once.

kandreil neil death time loop fic you are SO famous to me. on my mind again recently because róisín is very good at being a paramedic and knowing what really happens to the body when you are critically horribly injured, and i asked them what would happen if neil got hypothetically specifically tortured, and they did not let me down.

[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 2!

(Note: I originally planned to put out these commentaries once a day, but I’ve been recruited for an urgent knitting/crochet project IRL so I might be a bit slow.)

For this chapter’s title, I chose the lyrics for the Father in “The Song of the Seven” because Aegon finds out he’s going to be a dad. 😳

Opening line: I wanted the reader to spend a half-second thinking Aegon was in the middle of a sexual activity 😂. Later in the chapter, both Daemon and Alicent briefly think he’s been out at the brothels, so I wanted to foreshadow that here. But it turns out Aegon just really likes pies.

Gyles and Ronnel were throwaway characters in my original plan, but they ended up being very important to the plot 😅. I took a brief line from Aegon’s letter in Chapter 3 of the Handbook, about him eating pies that were almost better than sex, and created Gyles from that. So Aegon’s been patronizing Gyles’s business for several years.

Gyles rents a small storefront on the Street of Flour, which I presume is where most of the bakers in KL live/work. He’s probably part of the local bakers’ guild, and he’s on the poorer end of the street so his customers tend to be laborers who want a quick hot meal. Aegon stumbled across the shop one day as a young teen when he was hangry, and he’s been coming back ever since.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time researching the history of cheese and barely used it for the fic 🥲. But I want everyone to know I thought very carefully about the type of cheese Gyles uses in his pies! It would be similar to appenzeller, which is a cheese of Swiss origin that uses cider/wine during the cheesemaking process, and it supposedly has an herby flavor (I’ve never had it but I want it). It’s a hard cheese (so it travels well) that melts well (good for pie filling), and it’s from an Alpine region (like the Vale where Gyles is from).

Ronnel barely got a glimpse of Jace during her wedding parade, but he would die for her 🥲.

We get our first glimpse of the Tyroshi, which I tried not to draw too much attention to so readers didn’t get suspicious, but I wanted it in there to set up Aegon’s investigation in Chapter 4. In hindsight, Aegon wishes he just stabbed the man that day…but he probably would’ve gotten beat up or killed in turn by the bodyguards.

BTW I am very proud of the sentence where I describe the bodyguards as looking like chickens 🐔. Sorry, just have to pat my back here.

Author’s nitpick about Maegor’s tunnels! My understanding is the secret tunnels are in the Red Keep but NOT in the Holdfast, which only has one super special secret escape route that book!Aegon uses when Rhaenyra takes KL. I have to remember not to let the characters just pop around anywhere they please using the secret tunnels. If everyone used secret tunnels all the time, they wouldn’t be very secret 🤧. I imagine the passage Aegon uses to sneak in and out of the castle is one that a lot of Targaryen royals have used, so it’s not a HUGE secret.

Daemon heard about the pregnancy pretty quickly after Jace got sick during small council. Nobody is sure where Aegon went, only that he sneaked out (pretty normal for him), and of course Daemon’s first suspicion is that Aegon is out whoring 💀. So Daemon went to the tunnels to catch Aegon on his way back and verify if Aegon was at the brothels or not. If Aegon was out whoring while his wife just found out she’s pregnant, Daemon would probably have done…something not nice 😅. But Aegon was just eating pies so it’s fine!

Aegon is no longer scared of Daemon (he was a bit scared in the first part of the Handbook), but he still doesn’t want to be alone with Daemon in a dark tunnel 👀.

Aegon has excellent zingers in the book, so I wanted give him some very sassy lines in this fic. Hence, Aegon implying Daemon is getting fat 😂. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it, Daemon!

Daemon’s line about “a spate of missing persons in the city” is a reference to the Tyroshi’s doings. The Tyroshi has kidnapped enough “good citizens” (tradesmen like Gyles, as opposed to poor prostitutes) that it’s becoming noticeable.

And yes, Daemon did deliberately make Aegon think something bad happened to Jace as revenge for Alyssa and the early wake up calls.

Originally, I was going to do brief POV scenes of all Jace’s sisters reacting to the pregnancy news, but it got very repetitive so I cut out all of them except Luce. But in the deleted bits, there’s a scene where Alicent asks Rhaena to help find Jace’s premarital nightgowns because the only nightwear Jace has right now is sexy lingerie 🤭. Then there’s a kinda sad bit where Rhaena realizes Alicent thinks she’s helping Jace by removing temptation from Aegon, because a pregnant woman should want reprieve from her husband’s attentions, because that was Alicent’s experience: being pregnant meant she didn’t have to sleep with Viserys. So Alicent struggles to realize that on the contrary, Jace might enjoy her husband’s attention.

Alicent and Rhaenyra have a comedic bit where they synchronize as they transform into Overprotective Future Grandmother mode, to showcase that they’re more similar than they admit. It’s self-explanatory why Rhaenyra is fussy, but this is also Alicent’s first grandchild. And she has always liked Jace, who is basically Alicent’s ideal good-daughter. I also think Alicent is a little jealous that Rhaenyra has Jace; Alicent definitely loves Helaena, but we see her struggling to connect with her daughter on the show, whereas Jace has always been polite, dutiful, and overall “easy” to interact with.

Because Alicent likes Jace so much, she is extra offended at the thought that Aegon might be out whoring. In a way, she still thinks of him as the profligate young prince before the Stepstones (at this point in the story, he’s only been back two months), so she assumed the worst. But it’s obvious to her that Aegon is head over heels for Jace, and she realizes he changed while he was away. So she apologizes, which doesn’t erase the hurt of her accusation but Aegon recognizes it as a big deal since she’s never apologized to him before. And she’s embarrassed about her mean reaction, but she’s too proud to do anything else to make amends.

In an earlier draft of the scene where Aegon learns about the pregnancy, I dragged out the misunderstanding where he thinks he made her cry. There was a whole miscommunication sequence that somehow ends with Aegon thinking Jace doesn’t love him anymore (he tries to give her a new ring, she cries because she knows her hands will swell and she’s worried she’ll be hideous and “I won’t be your pretty girl anymore” or something like that), but it was too melodramatic so I cut it down to a brief moment of pregnancy hormones 😅.

Using her sleeve to wipe her face is a bad habit that Aegon taught Jace because he used to do that for her when they were little and she cried 😭. (He still does it sometimes.)

Another theme in the story: when Jace is nervous, scared, or otherwise feeling negative emotions, Aegon uses humor to bring her out of her pit of despair (e.g. wedding night, during the storm at Dragonstone).

A hennin is that tall cone hat you see in medieval paintings. It was a status flex because it’s so impractical, which means only rich non-working women can wear it. Rhaenys’s hairstyle kinda reminds me of it too 😅. I imagine hennins to be very old-fashioned at this point in time, and maybe Rhaenys made Jace wear a few hennins when she was little and that’s why Jace hates them so much lol.

When I was writing the Handbook, I thought might’ve been the one to come up with the elopement idea. But she’s such a naturally cautious person that now I think she needed nudging first, and Aegon is reckless enough to go for an elopement without thinking about consequences too much.

I also have this idea that Otto has always been a big Jacegon shipper in this universe 😂. It’s the perfect match for his Plan A, B, C, X, Y, and Z. I like to imagine that before Rhaenyra took her daughters to Dragonstone, Otto was telling Aegon things like “bring Jace flowers!” and “wash your hair!” to help the romance along. I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point, Otto straight up told Aegon “you need to marry that girl no matter what” (and it’d be hilarious if this planted the seed of the elopement in Aegon’s head).

Tyroshi purple is basically the real-world Tyrian purple, which was made from sea snails and so expensive that only royalty could afford it. I thought it very fitting for Jace, who’s supposed to be the future queen. The color also reminds me of wine, but I worked so hard to make Aegon not an alcoholic that I didn’t want to mention it in the fic 😛.

When Aegon avoids telling Jace his real, dark thoughts, we get a glimpse of how he tries to protect her from bad things in life. This is a point of friction that comes up again in the fic: Aegon thinks it’s best not to tell Jace certain things, and she disagrees.

Jace doesn’t like naps because she thinks they’re a waste of time when she could be doing work 🥲.

When Aegon is in the Tower with Otto, he notices a petition about thugs extorting money from guild members. This is also a reference to the Tyroshi’s doings!

Otto is a neat freak, Aegon knows it, and Aegon takes advantage of it for fleeting moments of malicious glee.

I also have a whole list of old people habits that Otto partakes in. Here, Aegon references Otto’s daily glass of prune juice, but I won’t go into detail about that 🙈. I also imagine Otto taking brisk early morning walks around the Tower, with his elbows pumping in a very old man way, to get his daily cardio in.

I made Otto’s late wife a member of House Mullendore. They’re vassals of the Hightowers, so it’s an acceptable match for a second son. (The Mullendores sided with the Blacks during the Dance, so I’m headcanoning that Otto had a terrible falling-out with them after his wife died.) More importantly, their sigil is a bunch of orange butterflies (see: Helaena’s embroidery that Otto displays in his study). We all know Helaena loves insects, and I feel like this is an extra reason she’s Otto’s favorite: her hobby reminds him of his wife.

Otto is generally happy with how things are going in this verse. Of course he would prefer if Aegon were the heir, but right now he’s guaranteed to have his blood on the throne even if it’s a few generations down the road, and he finds Jace to be reasonable, intelligent, and dutiful. But Otto is still sneaky, because he’s Otto. When he talks about “a royal grandson,” does he mean Rhaenyra’s grandson (baby gets his claim as Jace’s son) or Viserys’s grandson (baby gets his claim as Aegon’s son)? 🧐

Otto supports Jace attending the Small Council because her fate and reputation are closely tied to Aegon’s. If she does well, that reflects well upon her husband. Otto is also aware that if/when Rhaenyra is queen, she’ll want to sack him and send him away from court. But if he maintains a good relationship with Jace, who would be the Princess of Dragonstone at that time, he’ll still be able to retain influence at court not just through Alicent, who would then be dowager queen and less powerful. And if Jace demonstrates herself to be more capable at governance than Rhaenyra (who is less diligent about attending matters of state), Otto isn’t going to say no to that.

Jace knows that Otto has clashed with Rhaenyra in the past and that he has emotionally and physically hurt Aegon, so she doesn’t like Otto as a person. But she appreciates his skill as Hand and respects him professionally. So she’s willing to work with him, but she isn’t leaping at the prospect of spending time with him. And I think that suits Otto just fine. He doesn’t want to be liked, he wants results.

Sorry I couldn’t resist making a “we forgot Daeron existed” joke 🪦.

I really like Aegon and Aemond’s brotherly relationship, and I don’t see nearly enough of it in fics so I had to make my own contribution. Even in the show canon, where Aemond covets the throne and scorns Aegon, he’s still loyal to his brother and they have that brotherly telepathy moment during the last supper. In this verse, they’re much closer but they are still mean to each other in a delightfully sibling fashion. After his relationship with Jace (and eventually Cheeseball), I think Aegon’s relationship with Aemond is his most meaningful relationship in this fic, and I’ll probably keep tugging on it throughout the series.

Aegon won’t admit it but he’s excited to tell his brothers he’s gonna be a dad 🥰.

Daeron spent the last three years in Oldtown, which is the heart of the Faith, so the sex ed he received was very…censored 😅. And since he spent so long thinking that kissing = babies, you can imagine he has a strong reaction when he accidentally kisses Joff later.

Joff has plenty of older sisters (including Baela), and Rhaenyra and Daemon aren’t very quiet at Dragonstone. Thus, Joff figures out how procreation works as a young age 💀.

Aemond does not tell Daeron what a quim is. He tells Daeron to go ask a maester.

As mentioned in Chapter 10, Aegon knows Baela was/is attracted to Jace, and this is a big source of friction between them. But Baela’s never acted on her feelings, and Aegon feels fairly secure in Jace’s affections, so he doesn’t talk about it out loud. But if Baela ever provoked him enough, he would mention it to get back at her (Aegon still has a mean streak, he’s just better at suppressing it).

Helaena’s three egg-shaped beads are a reference to the children she’ll never have in this verse. I’m of the opinion that her prophecies are very vague and mostly vibes (e.g. “he’ll have to close an eye” = she sees Aemond riding a dragon with one eye closed, like an extended wink). So she definitely doesn’t know “ah yes, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera and Maelor, who are all going to die terribly,” but she has a sense of the children she would’ve loved and lost in another life. So she’s a bit sad about not having those children in this life, but part of her is relieved she’ll never have to endure the horrible loss and suffering her children’s deaths caused.

“Sunflowers should not be watered with wine.” Helaena compares Jace to the sun (“to the sun I go”), which makes Aegon a sunflower that’s always turning to face the sun. He isn’t an alcoholic here, so he’s thriving more.

“The egg is crowned with gold, and all the creatures love it so.” The egg is Cheeseball, of course. He’s crowned with gold because he’ll be king one day, and gold is his parents’ color. The creatures = dragons, seahorses, towers, etc., all the houses with competing claims to the throne but who all agree that Cheeseball is the future king.

“Buzz, buzz. Your hive has gathered.” Jace is the queen bee, but she’s also constantly working like a bee.

“A lovely summer egg.” Cheeseball is born toward the end of summer. Also a reference to how his future reign will be peaceful and prosperous.

“A beloved egg free from sorrow.” In contrast to Helaena’s children/eggs 🥲.

Helaena’s freak out about the name Jaehaerys is 100% a reference to Blood and Cheese. Again, she doesn’t know exactly what would’ve happened in this alternate universe, but she’s getting very bad vibes from the name.

Jace despairs at the prospect of being coddled for the entire pregnancy, which is exactly what happens…

Laenor wasn’t a paragon of fatherhood but he was more present in this universe. The girls being his actual daughters does affect his feelings for them, and I think he likes having daughters. He would have to help educate and train a son, but he can just spoil and dote on daughters. (Pretty similar to Aegon’s attitude in the beginning of this fic.) So Laenor makes a lot more visits to the nursery when the kids are little, hence Aegon’s familiarity with him.

I wrote the interlude because we see almost all the other siblings’ reactions to the pregnancy, but not Luce. I just couldn’t bring myself to delete it with the other reaction POVs so I kept it in 😅. I justify it by telling myself that it’s important setup for the Baratheon drama later lol (even though at the time I wrote this chapter, I wasn’t sure Floris and Sara were going to die, so this is the author retconning).

Rhaenyra made Jace wait until her sixteenth nameday, so she’s applying that rule to all her daughters: no marriage until you’re sixteen. That’s why Luce has to wait. And if the Baratheon stuff didn’t happen later, it would 100% have been a smart move. Luce is very impulsive, and she and Aemond were clashing for so long, it’s wiser to wait and make sure they’re in this for the long haul and not just acting on hormones.

Aemond had visited Driftmark four times in the past month, which means he’s there every week for several days 😂.

I like to think Daemon told Caraxes to tell Arrax to make sure Luce and Aemond don’t have too much fun 🤭. And for some reason, I imagine Arrax looking a lot like a light fury from How to Train Your Dragon. Big eyes and shiny scales.

Earlier in the chapter, we get a monologue about how Aegon would starve to keep Jace fed. Here, Aemond is literally stealing Luce’s lunch 🤣🤣🤣.

Jace knows her sister super well! That’s why she tells Luce to sit down before she continues the letter: she knows Luce is going to have a strong reaction.

Jace loves all her sisters but I think she’s closest to Luce. They’re less than two years apart in age, and Joff was born four years after Luce, so a lot of Jace’s earliest memories are just the two of them as sisters. Just like how Aemond is one of Aegon’s most important relationships, Luce is one of Jace’s most important relationships.

Chapter 3 commentary here

[live-from-flaturn]

Chay, Hope, and “The New Hunger”

An unnecessary metatextual analysis by an excited English MA queer.

So it all started with this shot from Episode 7 of KinnPorsche:

I zoomed in on the novel next to Chay’s desk out of curiosity and discovered that it was The New Hunger by Isaac Marion. Not a super old book by any means, and definitely one that Chay would realistically be reading.

Also a brief cameo that lets this single comedic shot FORESHADOW SO MUCH OF CHAY’S TRAGIC PLOTLINE without likely intending to do that at all.

Because The New Hunger, published in 2013, is a functional prequel to Marion’s 2010 novel Warm Bodies.

Warm Bodies is by far one of the most beautifully written and engaging re-interpretations of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” probably ever written (and I spent 3 summers at Shakespeare camp, so this approval is not coming from a casual fan perspective). There are zombies, apocalyptic drama, Daddy issues, and a LOT of stuff about not losing hope in the face of annihilation, loss, and loneliness. 

R spends most of the novel talking TO HIMSELF and coping with HOW TO BE ALONE. He is doing exactly what Chay is forced to do for survival: Create his own joy and entertainment. He’s abandoned by the world around him and must fight at every turn to maintain a sense of agency, all while desperately clinging to the idea that hope is everywhere. Here are some of my favorite Warm Bodies quotes for perspective:

“It frustrates and fascinates me that we'll never know for sure, that despite the best efforts of historians and scientists and poets, there are some things we'll just never know. What the first song sounded like. How it felt to see the first photograph. Who kissed the first kiss, and if it was any good.”

“What wonderful thing didn’t start out scary?”

“You should always be taking pictures, if not with a camera then with your mind. Memories you capture on purpose are always more vivid than the ones you pick up by accident.”

“’What's wrong with people?’ she says, almost too quiet for me to hear. ‘Were they born with parts missing or did it [love] fall out somewhere along the way?’“

“The sky is blue. The grass is green. The sun is warm on our skin. We smile, because this is how we save the world. We will not let Earth become a tomb, a mass grave spinning through space. We will exhume ourselves. We will fight the curse and break it.”

“Deep under our feet the Earth holds its molten breath, while the bones of countless generations watch us and wait.”

BUT THEN YOU HAVE THE NEW HUNGER.

“Nothing is permanent. Not even the end of the world.”

“Enough white lies can scorch the earth black.”

“What happened? How did I get here? How could I have known that my choices mattered?”

“Crying. Expelling grief from the body in the form of salt water. What's its purpose? How did it evolve, and why are humans the only creatures on Earth that do it?”

He has not reached the point of exhumation yet. 

Porchay must first be burned down. He must experience the hopelessness, loss, and devastation of betrayal first. 

Like yeah, sure, this is a throwaway shot and someone on the set probably grabbed a handful of random books to use but HOLY FUCK they really could not have made a better (potentially) accidental choice!

Like... Jesus Christ in Heat do I love these books more than life itself. Warm Bodies is my second favorite book of all time and again, I read books for a living. You should go check them out if you like romance, comedy, zombies, or really just feeling good about the end of a novel. Isaac Marion will fundamentally change your life and the way you look at the world and it’s a wonderful experience.

But also the accidental foreshadowing of Porchay’s world being burnt up... of his memories being tainted and blackened by Kim’s lying and Porsche’s secrecy... Ugh it hurts. I am having some feelings in this Chili’s tonight. 

[milfygerard]

hi hi hi i’m sorry about the everything in life for a distraction i would love to hear your detailed thoughts on your favorite mcr albums or taylor albums or a detailed ranking of either i just love Music Opinions and also i hope things get better soon<3

thank you sm for sending in <3

im terrible at ranking so ill turn to opinions hmmmm

My favorite mcr album changed by day hour minute but i think i wanna talk about.....bullets....yeah bc bullets is so insane as just a sheer proof of concept, like an expression of raw skill and talent that was growing within this band. Rays guitar work alone was enough for it to make complete sense for major labels to be knocking at the bands door begging to suck them off and then they also had GERARD!!! And this was even before mikey really could write bass parts and frank was still not really in the band like its just ray gerard and geoff (and otter who wrote drum parts that r cool but also somehow out of his skill range? girl you MADE THEM). The fact that vampires not onky exists but was like the second or third song written? Like before mcr gerard either never wrote music or wrote shitty three chord throwaway punk that existed as an excuse to print band stickers and arent even good enough to save on tape and then you decide to start writing for real to cope with major national level trauma and your first song is SKYLINES??? and youre next songs are VAMPIRES and OUR LADY OF SORROWS???? and oh my god the vocals gerard gives on the albuk as a completely untrained vocalist who did one musical once in middle school and otherwise never sang professionally unless you count crazy kids song in breakfast monkey. and then you hear the vocals on fucking vampires???? Like gerard doesnt exactly sing like celine dion on bullets but the raw harmony work and ability to PERFORM and really stretch the emotions of a song and do whatever strange or vulnerable thing is needed to sell the track. Theres still few songs more affecting than early sunsets. Like i fully think gerard is probably the strongest vocalist in the emo scene just because of their ability to completely and utterly sell you on the songs emotions (not just anyone can sing im not okay and get away with it) and thats before all the developing technical talents both already present like how gerard can just toss a melody onto a track without thinking about it or the fact gerard did a lot of the base writing for mcr while fucking barely knowing guitar how did that even work girl. Like i havent even mentioned the lyrics??? How do you. Like you can tell both that gerard never learned how to write songs and also that gerard listens to so much music that he can just fake it anywayyheres like 2 songs with actual choruses on the album and neither of them are the self proclaimed pop song h4h which opens with a queen riff?????? ans then is like a hardcore version of a beatles pop song????dont talk to me about drowning lessons. deomolition lovers!?!?! half of these songs are just poems that gerard hammered into songs and theyre so like. genuinely so incredible and they work??like the album works! as a cohesive piece! it coheres!

and thats the first album. Id say my favorite ts album is probably evermore though i might actually have less to say on it just bc i havent had it since 2015. Evermore is just so....ANGSTY!!! it feels like a complete fulfillment of what she was exploring on folklore with the fictional framing devices and keeping the songs clearly personal while also removing herself in a way she never really has before. It feels like a level of introspection through art that taylor has always been both pushing towards and shying away from because too much introspection or strangeness or even pulling away from the diaristic idea too much never worked with where taylor was at with her career. Evermore had a new collaborator, and the massive success of folklore as well as the continued quarantine gave her both an unprescedented level of artistic isolation personal confidence and professional security that allowed her to just go "fuck it" and write fucking. cowboy like me and dorothea and coney island and closure and she GOT AWAY WITH IT!!! like the albums been out for 3 years or something like that and I still feel like i havent fully processed its existence despite listening to it constantly. It truly felt like she was unshacked and was able to write about herself while also completely pulling away from any sort of literal Truth and going crazy with concept and the way she writes feels so unconstrained from the rules she would sometimes set for herself, it felt like a natural evolution from the freedom she felt jumping into the lover era but its past the honeymoon phase and like it is pop music but its also not scared to be...not pop music if that makes sense? She really fully settles into folk as a genre for the first time and it lets her writing flourish. Songs with no choruses songs with barely any structure at all lyrics that stretch at the ends of verses and fun bouncy wordplay and just allowing herself into a characters life and seeing how it fits her. She has some straight up ren faire tracks on here liek willow is just a collection of similies and metaphors she likes smushed together over a lute and its so GOOD. It feels like she was allowed to really live in adulthood as a woman in her early thirties who creates art because she loves it and because it keeps her alive ALSO proof that she needs to keep collaborating w new ppl bc whenever she does you can feel her pushing herself harder and she becomes so willing to try these new kind of weird things that she may have never tried otherwise aughhhh!!!! i didnt even talk about coney island!!!! I love how moody and dour the whole project is it feels like November where fall drags you into a cold unforgiving winter and you're just trying to survive with your sanity and any of your personal relationships intact. its so!!! tbh its SO new england also which makes me biased. ok thats all

[corn-egg]

NPMD song tier list

Controversial

As cool as I think I am: I never really vibed with this song. I mean it's good but compared to every other song it just doesn't excite me as much. Although it does always make me laugh and cry.

If I loved you: I just started warming up to this song, but it's also like as cool as I think I am. And then also to sing this right after Ruth dies? If this was placed after they honored her a little more that'd be fine. The emotional whiplash from just for once to this song

The best of you: definitely an earworm. I love all the highschool characters we got from this one song (like brooke and rudolph) and also how this is like their up-town funk, that idea is absolutely adorable. But then, 3 kids died from murders (soon to be 4) in the course of one month and they just forget about it? I can't help but feel a little sour about that. But other than that I love it.

Cool as I think I am (reprise) this song brings me to tears every time I watch NPMD. LIKE joeys performance in this? Breathtaking. It's very sad but also very short

The summoning: I really want to put this song up higher but I do get second hand embarrassment for some parts. Other than that I love the LIB and was absolutely ecstatic we had something for them all together. I really love pokey after yellow jacket so I wish they evened out the lines throughout the song

Dirty Dudes must die: I love how batshit insane Grace became at the end. She is a true icon. And the vocals? CHEFS KISS! Her ending pose is everything. She is THE GIRLBOSS

Dirty girl: I'm going to be honest, I skipped this the first time I watched NPMD. But rewatching and relistening to it really made me appreciate the amazing harmonies in this song. I love them so much in this, although its extremely embarrassing watching with your friends

Literal monster: again, I would love to put this higher but it's hard to rate this. I love love love how max sings a verse in this. But also how the nerds sing too, god the choreography is just sjrjrntjng

Go Go Nighthawks! THE FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE VERSE HAS ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING. And Richie dancing in the mascot costume is so funny to me too. Especially cause Jon was battling to keep that on his head when he was in the play. Plus this song is the last time we'll see everyone happy together.

Bury the bully: this song is so funny. But also how everyones voices go together? Changing from bully the bully to bury the bully is GENIUS. the end when "I just cut off his nips" and grace screams "GIVE ME THOSE" is definitely an underrated line

Bully the bully: I know I keep on saying that these songs are hilarious, and that's because they are. Like, the chemistry all the nerds had in this scene? The spins? You can see how much more sure of this they are then in the 'reprise' and how they think this is going to solve all of their problems (it does for like two weeks)

Hatchettown: all the cameos in this made the hours of going through NMT so worth it. (I do recommend watching it. At least season two) even kn tje cast recording boy jerry is in it calls Jeri a dirty girl and I don't think many people know about that. And the bridge in this song? Heavenly. Actually a 10/10 song.

Nerdy prudes must die: this scene is heartbreaking but it was necessary for us to hear Jon's amazing voice. The little details where max uses his powers on him and he like flops to the floor? To good. And he thinks saying "I'm not a loser" will help his case like in all of his animes LMAO. This just really shows how far everyone in starkid has come.

Highschool is killing me: best opening number ever (totally not biased) the opening lines always give me chills how it always smoothly transitions. I think everything in this is perfect.

Just for once is one of the best songs of the hatchet field trilogy and here's why: it uses clever word play and shows how Ruth isn't just a throwaway character.

Jeff blim isn't really known outside of the fandom from having the best lyrics (I obviously love them but this is just some beliefs other people have) he really outshined with this. It just looks so dumb but when you really feel dive on what the double meaning for every lyric is you really start to appreciate it.(someone pointed this out once and I'm just obsessed:the joke of her brushing her hair with the grill brush is also funny because she doesn't have any hair from her chemo treatment)It's heartbreaking to see how Ruth longs for something people wouldn't consider a big deal; she wants to be a middle aged mom. That goal just to be found is so sad to see how much she wants it and then you see that she's never ever going to reach that goal because of Max jagerman. Ruth definitely makes people uncomfortable when watching the musical, but for her character saying the most out of pocket things is her way of getting attention, and then also to have such a pathetic death? It really rubs salt in the wound.

In many ways I can relate to Ruth. Her want to be something when she's older. Ruth's need of attention and affection is also kind of how I do it: with theater and saying weird shit. Although when I say weird shit I think it's hilarious to see their reaction. But she also wants to perform and I love to perform so much and being someone you aren't for just an hour seems so fun.

They couldn't have chosen anyone better but Lauren for this role. You can see how much thought she put into her acting: her little facial expressions, the slightest change in tone of voice and her posture. I love the way she acts in the beginning of the song with the eye batting and the over animated movements are so satisfying but also serve a purpose. It shows how Ruth is mocking the play, but once the movements become less and less animated you see that she longs for that life she is talking about. I just absolutely adore the song and character although she is seen as weird. ENDING NOTES: THIS SONG IS SO GOOD!! LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW

If you actually read the whole thing thank you :))

[juniperhillpatient]

Alright, so I'm done with 'That 90's Show' season 1. Here are a few takeaways from someone who LOVED the original show:

Bad parts:

The theme song is really annoying & it just bugs me as someone who has spent a somewhat insane amount of time watching & re-watching the original & singing along. This probably won't bother most people but it's irritating to me

Ozzie as a character is borderline offensive to me. I'm not sure that I'd go so far as to say his characterization is racist or homophobic EXACTLY but...there's something uncomfortable about it. He's literally just a sassy quip machine awkward ham-fisted joke deliverer & he makes me cringe. If there's a second season I really hope they delve into him just a little more since he is part of the main group.

It's annoying & weird that Laurie & Hyde are both absent without reference. I can understand not wanting to replace actors who can't be there, but these were 2 important characters to the group & they could've very easily given us a throwaway comment about where they were. It's just....bad writing, & incredibly noticeable & uncomfortable.

Good parts:

Let's just get this one out there first - every single OG cameo had me cheering. Yes, I claim to hate reboots & remakes & I scream about letting things end & I stand by that but if they're going to do it, I want it done well damn it & this show did in my opinion. I just absolutely loved every single appearance from the original cast members.

I love Jackie & Michale as the couple in a perpetual cycle of getting divorced & back together. I loved Fez as a hair salon owner living his best life. Donn & Eric were iconic. I cheered for Leo's hilarious & fun cameos & same with Fenton's. They did justice to my faves who appeared.

The new characters are interesting & fun for the most part. I like that they reference the original characters without being stand-ins. These characters have their own stuff going on & their conflicts are funny & entertaining. It took a while to get me truly invested but I was always entertained. This show has the same funny charm & humor as the original. The chemistry between the main cast & the humor works really well.

KITTY & RED!!!!!!!! This one I'm not even sure if it needs to be explained but god...I just fucking love Kitty & Red Forman so much & seeing them with a house full of teens being their awesome selves filled me with joy. I just fucking love them.

Not a good part or a bad part but something I'm speculating about:

I'm fine with the little last minute Jay Nate Leia Nicky triangle / square whatever & the canon romance drama. It feels similar to early seasons 'That 70's Show' conflicts & I'm certainly entertained. And I like Jay. He's fun & cute & he's totally SUCH a Kelso. But.....

I SWEAR I almost thought there was going to be something canon between Leia & Gwen SEVERAL times. I mean, sure, me shipping the two girls? Yeah, that's typical but it almost felt like there might be something canon there. Their entire dynamic is SO reminiscent of Eric & Donna. The dork who lives next door to the cool girl? The moments on the hood of the Vista Cruiser? Sneaking through windows? I'm not delusional am I like PLEASE tell me y'all saw it too? Also, there's a textual (not even subtextual!) love triangle between Gwen, Jay, & Leia! Leia literally promises them both her time & does the whole sitcom double-booking her afternoon thing. She talks about loving them both! What??? Like....I don't know if I'm crazy but it REALLY feels like the show might just be going somewhere with this if it gets renewed.

Alright, that's all I have for this post! Those are my main reactions to this show.

[dancing-to-architecture]

44 - Jack White - Blunderbuss (2012)

I'm gonna be real, I had no idea this album even existed until this came up. I liked the White Stripes back in the mid to late 00's, but never really followed much of Jack White's solo career.

He's a damn good guitarist, though, so I'm going in to this one with slightly raised expectations.

(I also had this written out like a week and a half ago and just totally spaced on actually posting it.)

•Missing Pieces-

ooh, that electric piano works really well with Jack's guitar tones in the intro, but the solo in the middle is a killer.

Weird lyrics at first, then it slowly starts to come together by the end with a great set of closing lines:

"Sometimes someone controls everything about you

And then they tell you that they just can't live without you

They ain't lyin', they'll take pieces of you

And they'll stand above you and walk away

That's right, and take a part of you with them."

And whomst among us hasn't felt exactly that way some point?

•Sixteen Saltines-

Heavy fuzzy riffs, which is kinda what I expect from Jack White.

The name of the song is extremely weird considering it's a throwaway line, but I guess just calling it "who's jealous (of who?)" might be a bit on the nose.

•Freedom at 21-

I'm giving the text on this a small bit of a pass here because this came out a WHILE before the Me Too movement, but it feels pretty 'Men's Rights'-y imo.

"She can do whatever to me and she'll be fine because she's the woman and the man is always blamed for things" feels pretty goddamned cringey in 2023.

•Love Interruption-

This is the most "Divorced Guy" song I've ever heard in my entire life.

I will not elaborate further.

•Blunderbuss-

"A romantic bust, a blunder turned explosive blunderbuss" is some pretty fun wordplay, but as a self-diagnosed wife-guy, a few soulful minutes about the nobility of infidelity is not exactly my cup of piss.

•Hypocritical Kiss-

This song just makes me think about a number of people that I'd rather prefer stay locked away in the oubliette of my terrible memory.

•Weep Themselves to Sleep-

Okay, dude, you totally invalidated your entire premise set up by the first two lines in the second two lines.

"Nobody can do [x] like I can, except all these guys."

The instrumentation is really nice, the piano kills it, but the lyrics are... not great. 'Billy Corgan Poetic', by which I mean they're pretty, have an interesting metric foot, and they rhyme nicely, but are otherwise inscrutable.

Weird choice for the central song.

•I'm Shakin'-

Jack White sings the dirty blues.

...At least he's better at it than a good number of other white guys who have attempted it.

The idea of referring to the story of Samson and Delilah as "(she) clipped his wig" is just wild.

•Trash Tongue Talker-

"You broke your tongue talkin trash,

Now you're trying to bring your garbage to me." Damn, that's a good line.

One of the few songs about "get the hell out of my life" that you could throw on at a party and not immediately kill the vibe.

•Hip (Eponymous) Poor Boy-

This feels like a band i grew up listening to. Wanna say Little Feat or something like that. It's...alright.

•I Guess I Should Go To Sleep-

Okay, I have a bit of a weakness for 3/4 time.

I also have the occasional fight with insomnia (and lemme tell ya, my insomnia's got HANDS), so yeah, this one hits home.

Also a fairly tidy analogy for death closing out the tab on a hard life. Not entirely sure if that was the intention, but it works.

•On And On And On-

I absolutely love the flow of this one. It's not exactly a fast song, but it keeps moving with the steady power of a river.

I actually had to relisten to it, as I got caught up in the movement and the meter of the lyrics and started spacing out and just vibing.

•Take Me With You When You Go-

The drums are straight out of Manic Depression. I'd know that goddamn drum fill *anywhere*.

I like the fiddle, it almost feels like it shouldn't work, but it really does.

Okay I wasn't expecting the intro to be "the first entire half of the song" but it kicks into 5th gear at the halfway mark and just Goes.

About what I expected going in, to be real. Some great guitar work, some weird but fun lyrics (more often than not).

I'm not sure when he and Meg had their big bad falling out back in the day, but the general sense of "being kinda angry at women" vibe on a few of the songs here definitely bring that whole debacle to mind.

Favorite Track: On And On And On. It's just a whole ass vibe.

Least Favorite Track: tie between Weep Themselves to Sleep and Hypocritical Kiss, but Blunderbuss would be up here too if the wordplay wasn't so good.

There's a lot of very divorce-coded "angry white guy" on this album, and that's just not hitting me.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

☕️ + crazy ex girlfriend’s 4th season

I think overall I like season 4 as a concluding season for the show, certainly compared to a lot of other concluding seasons of shows I love it does a better job at what it sets out to do and that makes me I think more inclined to be generous with it (I’m used to really really hating the conclusions of things I love tbh because they can go so wrong, so when something is decent I think I’m easier on it than I would be if the same thing was in an earlier installment). I overall like what the season does with concluding Rebecca’s arc, there are places where I think it could be stronger (particularly the aspect of the season that’s supposed to be about Rebecca confronting her own privilege/white feminism doesn’t succeed as much as it thinks it does imo, but that also is part of the largest overall issue I have with the season which I’ll get into later) but other parts I think it succeeds with beautifully (I love the arc with Rebecca and her little brother, the final scenes with her mom this season, the realizations she comes to in the finale etc.), and I think Paula’s arc comes to a basically flawless conclusion. 

My biggest gripe with the season is in the treatment of WoC in the season. Particularly Valencia and Heather’s (who would be my second and third favorite chars on the show after Rebecca respectively) character arcs are so neglected compared to Rebecca Paula’s even Darryl’s even NATHANIEL’s and it makes me sad

:(. I’ve talked about this before but I really don’t care for the writers decision to treat Valencia’s sexuality in such a throwaway way rather than being willing to explore her feelings about it the way they did with Darryl. Her and Beth’s storyline being all about Valencia wanting to get married… it just does not work for me at all. I’ve seen justifications that the reason the writers approach Valencia differently is that she’s a different character who wouldn’t be into coming out with a song the way a character like Darryl would but like, these are written characters the writers are making those decisions… and there are so many ways you can explore a character’s sexuality that are unique to the character, that just seems like such a lame excuse to me. I have more unfavorable things to say about this take but I don’t want to get off topic, basically I feel like Valencia was majorly cheated out of her own arc in s4 and it is my biggest sticking point with the season, ngl partly because Valencia’s a character I actually identified with quite a bit so there’s bias at play there too even if I stand by my reactions. I don’t have a rant for Heather the way I do for Valencia but if I’d rewatched more recently I definitely would, some of the issues with Heather’s storyline do stem from the end of s3 (I sort of wish the surrogacy storyline had never happened). Even though I did like Paula’s storyline re: the women in the prison Rebecca was at those storylines had a lot of problems. And I think seeing how much room the writers were willing to give Nathaniel’s arc and place in the narrative vs Valencia and Heather was also really disheartening to me, and I don’t particularly like Nathaniel so that does effect my relationship with those choices but I think even if I had much more of an affinity for his character than I do, it would still be revealing of the writers priorities to me and not in a good way. 

I don’t mind the meta-ness of the season but that’s probably because I’m more inclined to like that type of humor than a lot of people, I get why others had complaints about it. Idk what else I have to say about the season really? The songs aren’t as good as earlier seasons but the ones that slap (particularly Love’s A Game and Hello Nice To Meet You) were bangers imo. oh and I LOVE the Halloween episode, it actually has many beats designed specifically for my enjoyment and unlike many other episodes I did like Valencia and Heather’s roles in it a lot.

thanks for the ask!

(send me a ☕️ + a topic and I’ll give you my honest opinion of it!)

[romilly-jay]

In The Unplanned Second Chance Saloon: The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

***spoilers***

CW: Very significant number of throwaway deaths (inflicted by the 'Good Guys', obvs) - fruitily overdone English Upper Class accents and lots of irritating public school type joshing - references to and glimpse of the mostly off-screen torture and murder of a woman.

=====================

I'm having an interestingly hard time getting started with this and I wonder whether that's a little bit to do with the fact that Princess Marina [Hyde] hates Guy Richie soooo much and is soooo disparaging about him on The Rest is Entertainment?

Definitely, maybe.

So, rushing to get to the <3 of the matter: We watched TMOUW on the first day it was released and found it... stunningly boring for a movie that involved so much gunfire and so many things blowing up.

Our immediate reaction was: SAS Rogue Heroes did it (much) better.

Then, this week we watched it again and it... had got better? It hadn't, naturally, changed at all, but we enjoyed it considerably more on the second viewing. I guess that's because we'd adjusted for all the things we knew it wasn't going to be and that left more space just to enjoy the structure and delivery of the story on its own terms.

I also had headspace to notice that the first third of the movie was IMO focused, purposeful and pacey and Worked Really Well. There was a pre-credits cold open action sequence that I found genuinely gripping, then a well-positioned, not overly long recap ("I guess you're wondering how we got here..."), and into another obnoxious, against-all-odds, enjoyable-on-its-own-terms, action sequence, this time the storming of a prison camp to complete the crew.

All much more impressive and high octane and unlikely than the real story where the members of what would become SOE (Special Operations Executive) were notably less impervious to bullets.

In the cold light of day, I'd mutter something about the real missions of SOE were quite dangerous and adrenaline-fuelled and didn't necessarily need to be 'sexed up' but horses/courses, genre choices.

Side note - one of many reasons we expected to be the perfect audience for this movie was S's abiding interest in all things WW2 and with particular interest in the exploits of the SOE. We were for example huge fans of the 2018 reality show that put modern participants through the SOE selection process:

Back to TMOUW and - TBH, I still found all the sequences at the destination port slow-to-tedious. Even the parts that involved the climactic action, in which the Daring Few cause chaos across the port and half-hinch an important ship.

The femme fatale still came across to me personally as very wooden (perhaps she was going for "English Restraint"?) but this time I was able to enjoy her rendition of Mack The Knife. The first time I spent the entire song fulminating about the fact that she'd changed outfit MID COSTUME PARTY - a party she'd insisted the German Baddie Officer attend with her as Caesar and Cleopatra. Why would you ditch your fabulous barely-there green dress and Cleo wig right at the point that you're trying to force and fascinate him into staying???

This is probably why - a candid pic of the dress ahem reveals that this white gown is also a Most Excellent Dress. Photo is an off-screen pic from the downtime while the crew was filming at HMS Belfast - which in the movie and ocean-CGI'd to the gills, stood in for the ship that confronts our heroes off the coast of Africa.

This assessment has become kinder when we then watched I Care a Lot and found she was in that as well, playing the co-conspirator girlfriend. Which IMO she does with style and energy.

So, backing away from my initial position that the actor in qu was terrible and only managed to get cast in the movie because she's dating someone. [Maybe I'll come back to this movie but in case I don't - that movie goes a bit too hard into the DARK side of dark comedy for my tastes, but, conversely, I thought the abrupt comeuppance at the end was earned and appropriate. I've just read a review where the focus was on how much the reviewer liked the movie in general but disliked the ending tremendously, so - shrug?]

[dustedmagazine]

VR Sex — Hard Copy (Dais)

Listeners and readers of a certain age (ahem) will remember Hard Copy, the tabloid-style entertainment news show that made its bones on broadcasting salacious, titillating and graphically violent images through the 1990s. VR Sex, a post-punk outfit from LA, trades in related semiotics, at least on the surface of this new record — and Hard Copy was nothing but surface. Does VR Sex have greater depth? The jury is out on that one, and the band will likely welcome the deferred verdict. They seem to like toeing the lines of morbidly libidinal transgressions, pushing various hot buttons, provoking the squares. See the partially deflated sex doll on the album’s cover, or song titles like “Hush Money Millionaire” and “Space Invasion,” enjoying the ironies of which may require at least minimal critical activity on the part of the consumer. Sure. But “Hard Copy” is a rock record, so maybe we should be asking: Is the music any good?

It is — but it’s also complicated by the formal ironies that have marked (or plagued) postpunk music from the jump. See “Inanimate Love” for a relevant example. The tune’s opening minute channels the dissonance of Sonic Youth, c. 1986. The signature riff and melody kick in, and you are projected toward the UK, especially the Jesus and Mary Chain in their Darklands-period of struggle with sudden fame. When Andrew Clinco (whose name some will recognize from his high-concept work as Drab Majesty) starts to sing, things get decidedly more louche. A particular strain of West Hollywood freak — hairdo as important as guitar tone, sunglasses worn on stage — creeps toward the music’s center, ghosts of Christian Death and Tomata du Plenty flit in and out like punk rock poltergeists. The song has come home.

None of those names is particularly problematic, but their combination and the sense that the band wants you to summon at least some of them are less straightforward matters. It’s an old saw, the extent to which anything post- is necessarily pastiche, and the resulting arguments that used to feel intrinsically political are all but exhausted. Or maybe we are just too tired. If that second supposition is correct, then songs like “Jenny Killer Glue” and “In Great Detail” seem poised for our pleasure. Flashy and cool, cynical and sexy, they have that rock’n’roll quality of cultural noise that is calculated and dangerous in equal measure.

Here’s another way of putting that: How do you reinvest a half-deflated sex doll with erotic energy? Pay attention to the terms there: they assume that the sex doll was full of erotic investments in the first place. And of course it was. The fact that the commodity form exists (the doll in its original packaging, behind the counter of the porn shop, or these days available on Amazon, for your convenience) means that culture has already distributed the investment, whatever your intent or surface-level interest might be.

So, listen to VR Sex’s “Real Doll Time.” The song’s upbeat energies evoke Wire in a sassy mood, but the vocals are pure West Hollywood. The tune sweeps you along, danceable and rockin. Dig it. But what’s “real doll time,” and what’s a real doll? Mostly: what’s “real” here? Think too hard about those questions and you’ll miss the gag: Clinco’s repeated enunciations of the title phrase become indistinguishable from a different read. It starts to sound like “real dull time.” That’s funny—the gag is on us, always has been. But meanwhile the song churns away, and it closes with 90 seconds of a terrific, slightly mournful and sorta sweet new melody, expertly clad in postpunk textures. Another band would have made a whole song out of it. VR Sex poses it as a throwaway, and it’s exactly the right gesture. Like a smoke, lit, dragged on once or twice, and tossed from the stage. Did you get burned? Good. At least you felt something.

Jonathan Shaw

[itwas50yearsagotoday]

7/31/23: It was 50 years ago this month, July 1973, Steely Dan would release their second album Countdown to Ecstasy. Wow... another landmark album that I didn't think I'd ever get to, but here we are. I've dug this record for at least 25 years going back to my college days. I think the first song I knew from it was 'My Old School' of which I must have seen concert footage on VH-1 (probably taken from The Midnight Special) at some point. So I begun collecting Dan CDs, and got this one specifically because it had 'My Old School' and the album opener 'Bodhisattva' (which my friend Jason turned me on to), and it became a staple in my player. Of the eight songs on this album, no less than six are excellent... even the other two songs are not throwaways by any means. 'Bodhisattva' starts off with a bangin' hard guitar riff, and turns into this slick jazz-rock number that dabbles a little in Fusion territory... look out! The next two songs I don't think are too well known but I love them both--'Razor Boy' has some biting lyrics about upper class wannabees, with this sort of bossa-nova style back-beat, and is super mellow; 'The Boston Rag' has some awesome guitar work... not sure if that's Skunk Baxter or Denny Dias but they make that guitar growl on that track. 'Show-Biz Kids' is controversial for the use of the word 'fuck' (oooooh!) but it, or perhaps 'Pearl of the Quarter', is probably the weakest track on the album-- I've heard that they were toying with releasing this as a single, but repeating the phrase 'Lost Wages' over and over again does not seem like Top 40 material. Interestingly, Rick Derringer, of all people, plays slide guitar on this track... personally, I think his talents are wasted here. Anyway, side two starts with another banger, somewhat similar to the murky (in a good way) sound of 'Do It Again' from the first record: 'Your Gold Teeth'. This track is nearly seven minutes long due to the extended keyboard and guitar solos and jamming... such a cool song, and great lyrics too. I already mentioned 'My Old School' whose lyrics remind me a bit of 'Reelin' In the Years' with the post-College blues as a theme... definitely a rocker, with great horns a-boppin' (I'm including the Special version as a YT clip at the end, which is a treat to watch), awesome guitar solos... love the 'WHOA NOOO's at the beginning of each chorus. Probably second weakest track is 'Pearl of the Quarter' which doesn't have much of a melody, and those 'vous-les-vous's at the end of every verse are so dorky. But the band (such that it is... as already Fagen and Becker were making changes, dumping vocalist Palmer after the first record... by the late-70s the Dan was just a duo with (highly talented) session musicians, essentially) redeems itself, and then some, with the whopper of an album closer 'King of the World'. One might confuse the keyboards in this song with a game show theme... no kidding, it reminds me of The Price is Right in some parts. But that is an integral part of the song, as it follows the same jazzy path as 'Your Gold Teeth' and 'Bodhisattva'... man it's a perfect album-ender. Since I won't get to them (or if I do, it won't likely be in this format), the next three following albums are all weak sisters to this record-- all good records, well-produced, but there's nothing really daring on 'dangerous' on those records. But 1977's Aja is so very different... literally sounds like a different band only four years later, but no less excellent. If I had to make the desert island choice between the two records I'd still go with Countdown, but might try to sneak Aja on board the sinking ship. Steely Dan's last album prior to the twenty-year absence, Gaucho, is no slouch either, as long as you approve of drum-machines (which fit with what they were doing in 1980). Back to Countdown, if you've not heard this, and you're reading this blog, stop what you are doing and go listen to it now. A moral imperative. A+

[walkingstackofbooks]

TNG 4x12 The Wounded, and 5x03 Ensign Ro thoughts (rewatching, so possible future spoilers for DS9 too)

I’ve temporarily paused my DS9 re-watch after 2x20 Maquis Part 1 to go through all the Cardassian episodes in TNG to get a better picture of the build up. Honestly they're so spread out, I'm not surprised I can't remember much of it!

4x12 The Wounded

"They're our allies now"??? Not really, Troi, you're just at peace, you're not even going to have a treaty for the next three years!

KEIKO :D

It's like they've never eaten together before???

I know it's a throwaway line, but Miles' mum not believing in replicators and being "like a master chef" feels like something that should have come up in DS9, with Sisko's cooking habits. At the least, it would have prepared him for his time in Alixus' cult in Paradise

Their smiles and laughter together is cute :3

I like the Cardassian trying to make friends. <3 He really picked the wrong person though 😅

Miles pretending he's good with Cardassians - no, your wife knows you better thank that XD

I do like miles when I tried to better himself. You go have a friendlyish conversation with a Cardassian

"It's not you I hate, Cardassian. I hate what I became because of you." It's interesting when Miles gets self aware; it's a shame it doesn't always stick and he has to keep relearning these things

This Gul Macet is pretty damn decent, that was a good job done there

"I consider the matter closed." - Picard is a good captain

I like this burgeoning trust between the two captains :3

Picard calm questioning of Maxwell is so well done, I do like him

"I'll accept the judgement of history."

"When you've been through what we have, you tend to get inside someone." 👀 Okay Miles...

Of course there's a Star Trek episode where they win through the power of friendship and song :P

"Take this message to your leaders, Gul Macet. We'll be watching." THE STEEL

Really glad I re-watched, I'd forgotten how much I enjoy Picard, and it was a great Miles episode. Also interesting that our very first view of Cardassians are of some good ones.

5x03 Ensign Ro

It's so, so weird watching this after ds9 - knowing loads about Bajorans rather than this being our first one

Ro!

No, that earring is just rude

Interesting, "The Bajoran custom has the family name first, the individual's second... It's an old custom. Most Bajora these days accept the distortion of their names in order to assimilate." That isn't very DS9, but I get the feeling Ro is from the Bajora disapora, and not Bajor? Maybe tradition stayed stronger there.

Also interesting for the people to be Bajora and not Bajorans.

Damn but I love her

She reminds me a lot of Kira actaully, and now I want them to meet

"You were innocent bystanders for decades as the Cardassians took our homes, as they violated and tortured our people in the most hideous ways imaginable, as we were forced to flee." "We were saddened by those events but they occurred within the designated borders of the Cardassian Empire."

^> How long have the Federation been at war with Cardassia. *googles* 20 years, okay. Because they were fighting a war, and that's hardly standing by? But I guess they weren't when the Cardassians originally occupied Bajor. We don't actually know why or when the border wars started, but memory-beta attributes some distrust due to the Bajor occupation.

GUINAN! I'd forgotten how incredible she is. "Sounds like someone is like to know." Perfection.

Of course she's angry, she did well even if it was against the rules

I'm glad Guinan exists <3

Yes, he's listening to her. And she has a hell of an explanation.

Oooh, I had guessed that no-one was on board, but I assumed a last-minute transport - clever to have guessed this from the start and left them planetside!

Love a happy ending with a corrupt official probably going to prison :D

"That's an interesting challenge. And I rarely refuse an interesting challenge."

The earring shouldn't have to be a condition! It should be accepted as standard! I get that it's supposed to be a cute ending but it's wrong

I love Ro a lot :3 This episode is so interesting to re-watch after DS9, it's super interesting to get more Bajoran points of view.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

The Beach Boys’ “New Album” of 1976: What The Heck Was It?

Mid-1976.

Brian Wilson, upon rehabilitation, has just finished producing 15 BIG ONES, the first Beach Boys album to be produced by he and just he himself since PET SOUNDS all the way back in 1966. 15 BIG ONES leaves not only a lot of leftovers for potential future use, but Brian also has what appears to be a major creative rush in the ensuing months...

The next album from The Beach Boys would eventually be LOVE YOU, which was released in April 1977...

But LOVE YOU actually evolved out of a Brian solo project called BRIAN LOVES YOU. He had two album projects in the works in mid-to-late 1976... A Beach Boys album proper, and his solo project.

The finished LOVE YOU is an amalgamation of both...

What was the Beach Boys album that was being worked on in fall 1976?

Little is known about it, and the tracks that were recorded around the period are generally lumped in with the LOVE YOU sessions of October-November of 1976. Songs like ‘Sherry, She Needs Me’, ‘Lazy Lizzie’, a cover of ‘Ruby Baby’ (the second time they recorded this number, the first time was for 1965′s BEACH BOYS’ PARTY!), ‘Hey, Little Tomboy’, and ‘Marilyn Rovell’.

BRIAN LOVES YOU, by contrast, featured largely Brian with some contributions by brothers Dennis and Carl. Mike Love and Al Jardine had next to no input... Some of the early mixes from this period have leaked out over time, painting a picture of what LOVE YOU could’ve sounded like without the subsequent input from the rest of the Beach Boys and the additional production Carl did on it.

The music on both shares a similar, gleefully weird vibe that I can never get enough of. This is a period of creative resurgence for Brian. Some tracks that came out of him during this time are examples of his prowess as a composer, and the majority of them are him singing about what he felt. Even if it was sometimes a thought or two that perhaps should’ve *stayed* as a thought or two.

Interestingly, there appears to have been a proposed tracklisting for the untitled 1976 album. It’s always been called “New Album” by fans because of an interview Brian had in December 1976, referring to whatever was coming out as “The New Album”. (He had also called it BRIAN’S IN LOVE, and stated that the 1970 Halloween outtake ‘My Solution’ was going to be included in the tracklisting.) This purported track listing even apparently had an order for the tracks, and was put together around October:

Side 1: ‘Lazy Lizzie’, ‘H.E.L.P. is on the Way’, ‘Sherry, She Needs Me’, ‘Hey, Little Tomboy’, ‘Games Two Can Play’, ‘Marilyn Rovell’

Side 2: ‘Ding Dang’, ‘I Wanna Pick You Up’, ‘Good Time’, ‘Ruby Baby’, ‘When Girls Get Together’, ‘On Broadway’, ‘Sea Cruise’

This would’ve probably tanked, hard. ‘Lazy Lizzie’ as an opener, for anyone who has even heard that song, would’ve nuked the album right away. There’s also far too many leftovers on here, spanning back to 1969, such as SUNFLOWER outtakes ‘Games Two Can Play’ and ‘When Girl Get Together’. ‘Good Time’, recorded in early 1970, is also a SUNFLOWER outtake, ‘H.E.L.P.’ is from the immediate post-SUNFLOWER sessions of mid-1970, and ‘Sherry, She Needs Me’ is a new set vocals on top of a 1965 (!) backing track. ‘Ding Dang’ dates back to roughly 1973, and is part of a curious saga of Brian renditions of the nursery rhyme ‘Shortenin’ Bread’. Curiously, ‘Ding Dang’ and ‘I Wanna Pick You Up’ were later ported over to LOVE YOU. Some of the new material is questionable, too. Much has already been written about ‘Hey, Little Tomboy’’s dodgy lyrics and awful spoken-word section, and ‘Marilyn Rovell’ is a ditty comparable to Paul McCartney’s amusingly fluffy RED ROSE SPEEDWAY outtake ‘Thank You Darling’. I actually don’t mind ‘Marilyn Rovell’ as a silly little throwaway, but as an album track? That would’ve made eyebrows rise, for sure. ‘Ruby Baby’ surprisingly isn’t from the 15 BIG ONES sessions though it sounds like it is, it is a then-new recording, while ‘On Broadway’ and ‘Sea Cruise’ are actual 15 BIG ONES outtakes.

The group made the wise choice to more or less combine both projects. There were a few other tracks recorded during these sessions that didn’t seem to be intended for either album... ‘That Special Feeling’ didn’t seem to get past the demo stage, while a cover of ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’, ‘Hey There Momma’, ‘We Gotta Groove’, ‘Clangin’’ (another ‘Shortenin’ Bread’ jam), ‘My Diane’, and ‘11th Bar Blues’ didn’t make the final cut. One could theoretically make a late 1976 LP made up of LOVE YOU outtakes and these tracks, and maybe a few leftovers from earlier, and make a record that flows pretty okay.

Some of these fall 1976 tracks would eventually appear elsewhere. ‘Hey, Little Tomboy’, for whatever reason, saw some modifications in early 1978 and was included on M.I.U. ALBUM. That fall 1978 album also included a modified ‘My Diane’. ‘Hey There Momma’’s track was re-used in late 1977 for a Christmas song called ‘I Saw Santa Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’, for an ill-fated Christmas album project - titled MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE BEACH BOYS - recorded at the same time as M.I.U. ALBUM. This wouldn’t show up until 1998′s ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS. ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’ turned up on the anniversary box set MADE IN CALIFORNIA 1962-2012. The rest remain unreleased... Maybe until a copyright extension box set chronicling the 15 BIG ONES and LOVE YOU sessions?

The best was saved, I feel, for LOVE YOU. Side one of the 1977 album is the “woke up, chose violence” side of Brian Wilson in terms of his songwriting and just expressing whatever came to mind, in that idiosyncratic way that he often did it... while the second side - similar to that 1965′s THE BEACH BOYS TODAY! - sees him reflecting and tapping into his much more pained and emotional side.

Still, I feel you can make a solid brother album out of... ‘You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling’, ‘My Diane’, ‘Hey There Momma’, and ‘Sherry, She Needs Me’. Beach Boys LPs usually were about 12 tracks long, so to pad out the rest... Probably outtakes, but The Beach Boys were strangers to reusing old songs for “new” albums, as evidenced here.

Instead, The Beach Boys pursued another ill-fated album after the release of LOVE YOU, a project that went by the name of ADULT/CHILD. Curiously, ADULT/CHILD ported over ‘Hey, Little Tomboy’ from the “New Album”, along with the 15 BIG ONES outtake ‘On Broadway’, the SUNFLOWER outtakes ‘Games Two Can Play’, and the mid-1970 recording ‘H.E.L.P.’ It makes for a weird combination already working off of even weirder new Brian compositions, but that’s another look for another day.

[habibialkaysani]

okay. more thoughts now I have somewhat collected myself - tho that has not stopped me grinning like an idiot to myself in public and attracting stares from my fellow grumpy brits.

kathony is first ofc. God. THESE TWO. they legit can't get their hands off each other and I love that for them so much!!!! like my boy anthony can't bear even a moment when he is not holding his wife's hand and honestly same dude, I would be the exact same. I looooved their energy in their bed scene tho ofc they would feel cockblocked when hearing their family - tho anthony saying that even him going down on her would help make an heir made me snort with laughter my god. I love them so much. and look. I would have ideally loved for them to grace my screen more, but at least they fed me well in that first episode. ultimately I reckon they would have upstaged the couple of the season and I personally don't have any major objections to that, but ofc in terms of pacing and storytelling they were going to have a polin focus and that's fine with me. plus the idea that they are literally just that horny for each other brings me joy (no I'm not projecting what are you talking about)

I knew the second honeymoon thing going in, so at least I wasn't really surprised by it. and also like. the scenes we did get were sweet. did I feel robbed that they basically weren't mentioned at all in the rest of the episodes, not even a throwaway line from any of the Bridgertons who could have acknowledged their absence? sure but that is what fanfic is for and I have a bunch of ideas in that respect. so am looking forward to writing that bc canon fixits are my thing. also I love that it is fully canon that they fuck on the desk. love that for them.

and then there's polin. look I'm not gonna lie, seeing colin in the first ep supposedly being charming with the ladies - maybe this is because I don't swing his way but I saw absolutely nothing charming or appealing by his words/demeanour. ofc maybe part of it was meant to be for him to be fake and putting on an act, but it felt too fake. I don't think it's the actors fault but the lines he was given were terrible. I don't remember the specifics but it all felt so fake and plastic.

that being said, the mvp of the show was deffo penelope, god I love her a lot this season. I liked her previously but this was her time to shine and also she looked drop dead gorgeous. love all her looks. the featherington sisters did make me laugh a bit, idk what it is this season but the whole thing of them not actually knowing how they will come to be with child was just fucking hilarious. I wish madame delacroix was in it more. always loved their convos.

I had read the book this time so I acc really liked the polin scenes from the book - her reading his journal, the two of them talking about how they met, and the fucking carriage scene. JESUS. I mean. I was fanning myself. phew. and the soundtrack - look I admit I don't think anything will top s2's soundtrack (unless in the second half they have another Bollywood cover which I doubt) and I wasn't the hugest fan of the songs this season, but the one playing during the carriage scene. SO GOOD.

I also really liked lord debling and I was surprised about that because he looked like just some old guy, but he seemed decent, genuinely so, and I did feel like pen had some chemistry with him but ofc not as a long term prospect.

other things that I noted. I loooove alice and will and I feel like they got something a bit meatier in terms of storyline compared to previous seasons. eloise and cressida was not a pairing I expected to ever ship but I fucking do. I mean. they get along but also aren't afraid of challenging each other and every single time they were on screen together all I could think of was that they would be perfect as a couple. I v much doubt they're ever headed in that direction but I did remember the actress playing cressida saying she has a proper arc this season. I wonder what that will be if it's not a romantic arc. but also every single time eloise and pen were in the same space together, I felt like eloise was looking at her crush or her ex gf or something. the yearning the angst the broken hearts!! it's right there!!!

and francesca, oh baby girl. I love her. she was cast so well. well, recast, I should say, but hey. she's also gorgeous. no surprises there. and john stirling is such a sweet boy, my god. that lord samadani dude made me uncomfortable with the whole eight children thing lmao. and benedict, I loved that we saw him dancing this season. ofc he's gone for the gorgeous widow. good for him. I do hope they delve into his artistic endeavours tho. I feel like that was one of the plot threads from last season that basically hasn't been touched upon at all.

I also just fucking love the hands all around. so good. tho the whole dropping a glove thing is great and all, and I'm 100% down for it as a meet cute for violet (she deserves to have her blooming garden tended to okay), I just wish that the other gloves of the season didn't look like fucking latex gloves that you'd use for food prep or whatever. like when colin picks up the glove of that girl and then kisses her hand... I feel like the moment was cheapened because of the cheap glove he was holding. I would not be surprised if it's acc really expensive material but it looks ghastly. I didn't mind the sheer ones pen wears when she arrives at the ball with the iconic green dress, but the white ones? hell to the fucking no.

all in all, I can safely say I enjoyed the season overall. I am gonna have so much fun writing fic to keep me occupied until june.

welp. I watched the first 4 eps of bridgerton S3 after work. I have so many thoughts but mostly I've still not recovered from three specific scenes: one in bed, one on a desk, and one in a carriage.