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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

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True Faith (Part 2.) (Favored Ones, Part 26.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: " Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. ." - Charles Spurgeon

Part summary: To your disappointment, you didn't find Abby inside the aquarium. But you found someone else who reminded you of the things that happened back in Jackson.

A/N: This song (True Faith, Lotte Kestner’s cover) simply slaps and says all you need to know about this part in general. Hoooo, I am so excited to finally have Owen on my hands so I can do this disgusting rat dirty. (I LOVE miss Mel tho, she’s a precious small bean which needs to be protected)

Warnings: Depiction of torture, bone breaking, depiciton of blood and manslaughter, anxiety, rage, anger, a bit of fluff at the end.

Word count: 5.5 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @peakymarvels @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us @avery-miller @mikah-writes @mad-hatter-98 @sadiaafrin99 @flavorishy

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day three - afternoon:

With a small gulp, you opened up the door, walking into the main hall of the aquarium - to the place from when the arguing voices were coming from. And two people were standing in front of you. Owen and Melanie. You didn't even care that much about Mel, to be honest, but you stared Owen down with one of the most haunting gazes he'd ever seen on anyone. The man took in the sight of you as well. Both the people in the room stiffened, watching the unexpected visitor bump into the aquarium door.

After a moment, Owen recognized you. Of course, he did. And to be honest, panic overtook him, because he didn't know what should he do as you still kept on coming closer to both of them. He had a pregnant woman next to him whom he had to protect. And just from your look alone, Owen knew, that one of you will end up dead that day. One of you won't ever walk out of the door again and honestly, he hoped it will be you. He had too much to lose at this point.

But Melanie stepped forward, closer to you, making the eye contact going on between you and the man end abruptly as you turned your head to her.

"You're the girl from Jackson, aren't you?" - The woman sent a glance to Owen as she took in your appearance, trying to assure him about her actions. She was always nice to you, right? She didn't mean you any harm. Mel even escaped your friends before crying out their location out loud. If she did yell at the others, Jesse, Dina, and Diego would be most likely to be dead. But she didn't. From her perspective, you hadn't got the slightest reason to harm her.

Yet Owen could tell that something happened to you ever since you entered Seattle. Everyone felt the shift once they entered the city gates. Something changed inside of you, something subtle and unnoticeable at first, bringing the worst out of you. If he'd have to describe the person he was looking at, he'd tell about that youre tired, barely standing on your feet and empty inside. Like a machine. Your clothes were just drenched in blood, but it certainly wasn't yours since you've been looking more than fucking healthy.

Most people thought that descending to madness is a slow process. No. It was far away from a slow one. The only thing you needed was a push and shove to your back, sending you on your fall. If you weren't able to stop, you were soon about to hit the bottom. He knew that he can play psychological games with you later, but it would just make you angry at that moment.

Melanie was thinking about a lot of things - no matter how immature her behavior seemed to be as she slowly approached you. Were you there, in the aquarium, alone, or were your friends somewhere out there as well? Why didn't Alice bark at you? And what, for the love of God, were you doing in Seattle?

After the Abby fiasco, where almost everyone from their group got killed, they ran away - back to WLF and Seattle. Mel got more and more pregnant, so she wanted to be safe and she wanted Owen around. There were still the Seraphites and Abby things popping up around their small family, but it finally seemed that Owen set his priorities straight on Mel and their child to come. Which, on its own, would be great - if you wouldn't just appear there out of the thin air, covered in blood and mud from your head to your toes, drenched with rainwater.

Your eyes didn't move away from Mel as you watched every move she made, having the rusty pipe ready at any moment. You were quite sure you'll get to know where Abby is residing since you already had the benefit of surprise and Joel was standing just behind the corner. Something was telling you that these two knew exactly where their friend is. No matter what, you were determined to get the information out of them.

Yet as you stood in front of Owen, something oddly personal got a hold on you. It was the odd personal feeling Ellie told you about after what happened with Nora. You knew why you were there - to find Abby and sort the things out with her. To protect Joel, to protect Jackson. But... As you watched the man standing in front of you, and when you remembered how he helped Abby with torturing you, there was still a small hint of pain next to your heart.

All you could do was to take a deep breath to shush the feelings aways. Owen, no matter how much of a fucker he could be, hadn't got any personal beef with Joel and as far as you cared, he wasn't shooting at you. So far, you hadn't got the reason to kill him like a little bitch. But for the first time on your journey, you felt, that all it will take for Owen to set the bomb inside you off was just one bad move or a word you wouldn't like. At that moment, Melanie started speaking again, diverting your attention from the man.

"How-how did you find us? Are you okay?" - The woman asked, almost putting a hand on your shoulder just for you to dodge the touch, growling at it. With that, Owen noticed that you're visibly limbing. The Jackson took hold on everyone who's been there - both WLFs and you. It seemed to be fucking ridiculous. What did happen to them there? What logic reason allowed Mel to think that they had the right to feel bad about Baldwin? You almost started to accept Mel's embracing tone of voice until you realized that she's just trying to divert your attention away from Owen. No. You weren't that dumb.

"Where is Abby?" - You asked once again and looked around, searching the woman as if you were expecting that she'd appear out of nowhere like a magician. You'd be most likely having her forearm around your throat if she'd be at the aquarium, about which you concluded that Abby sure as hell wasn't there. It was just getting more and more tangled up. But Owen was a good find as well. Neither of them answered, but the woman was sneaking closer and closer to you. - "I asked you a question. Where is she?" - You pointed your pipe at her, having Owen panic in the next second.

You didn't know she was pregnant. How could? No matter how much he tried to ignore it, he knew the state you were in. The trance, numbness, and fearlessness of sorts, which enabled you to feel invincible. But for a terrible cost. It was a piece of your soul it took down with it.

Naturally, Owen tried to take his gun out, having you to swing your pipe at his wrist at a full force as you pushed Melanie on her back to have a good view of them laying on their back vulnerably. There was this disgusting sound of cracking of the small bones inside of his forearm, which you caused, as you swung the metal onto his arm again when as Owen checked up on Melanie's well-being.

"Wanna try another unplanned stuff or is this enough, huh?" - You asked, leaning your head towards your shoulder as you looked down on Owen. Immediately, he looked back, his breath was shallow and fast, making you aware of the fact that he must've been in pain. As when Joel stood up above Melanie, aiming his revolver onto her forehead as he shook his head at her, you stepped on Owen's wrist with your boot, making the man scream in pain.

"You know, one wise woman once told me this, and listen, you're going to love it." - A chuckle left your lips as you slowly crouched to hold the man's cheeks, turning his head as you. With that, you also put way more pressure into your feet. - "We don't wanna kill you... But we will."

With that, Joel hugged the man's wrist with a firm squeeze, making sure the fucker won't wiggle away when he dragged him to one of the walls where he was about to make sure Owen won't be a threat to you. And you just stood up above the woman, who was starting to sob as she realized they're probably in some knee-deep shit.

"We just wanna talk, ya know? And if you tell us what we want to know, we'll let you live. What do you say?" - The smile you gave her sent a shiver down her spine. When she met you in Jackson, you looked like a normal woman who has everything set straight in her head. Did they do this to you? Or, more specifically, did Abby fo this to you? - "Sounds familiar?" - You left her to be as Joel picked her up, but you went ahead and lit up one of Owen's cigarettes to calm yourself down.

"This can go down two ways, okay?" - You crouched between the couple - Owen was seemingly in pain because Joel did a hell of a good job with pressuring the small spot on his wrist and Melanie was crying. She wasn't too far from begging you to let them both go. Or to at least let them alive. - "You'll tell us and we'll let you be, we'll leave the aquarium. We won't come back after you. We will just find Abby and have a little talk with her. That's a simple way. But if you won't wanna tell us, well, that's another story." - You leaned closer to Owen, exhaling the smoke right into his face. - "The palm will stop hurting soon. No, it won't, but you'll get numb to the pain. I promise." - Owen grinned painfully when you gently patted his shoulder.

A sob made you realized that Mel started crying. Her expression was full of fear, the tip of her nose got read quickly as various red spots appeared on her face. That was when you felt Joel lowering his lips to your head. - "She's pregnant, 'kay? We can scare her to death, but leave her outta it. The fucker's all yours, baby girl, but don't forget that you're still only a human. This gal's terrified enough to tell you what you want off the bat." - Joel whispered to you. Quickly, your glance studied the back vest Mel had on. the pregnancy was hard to see since she was so small and tiny. You felt the man still standing so close your chests were practically touching, so you nodded.

Mel was out of your reach practically ever since that moment. A promise was a promise - and you just promised Joel that you won't hurt her. But you still could use the method Ellie had described you without hurting her - at least not physically. And you could still have so much fun time with Owen. Quickly, you tiptoed and stole a kiss from Joel, getting ready to get the information out of Owen on your own. If you'd like to, Joel would get the information out of the former WLF. Yet earlier last night, you were very clear about this being your moment. You were so close to reaching Abby, which was the only reason you came to Seattle. This guy seemed to knew where she went, or what she was doing, who she was with, or what were her intentions.

"You two have a funny idea of romantic, I tell you that." - Owen snickered when you lowered back on your feet, slowly letting go of Joel. The wrist couldn't be so bad after all. - "Need to catch two people to be turned on, or what you're about? He can't please you, or..?" - Owen continued with teasing you. Jesus, you knew what that was about. Owen was trying to be a big boy, to show you he's not worried about you or Joel in the slightest.

"You know who this is?" - You asked, pointing to Joel. - "Take a guess, come on. Who's this guy?" - This question made Owen furrow as you approached him, running your tongue inside your mouth, popping your cheeks out. The man just shook his head.

"He's the one Abby came for. Joel Miller, the one who was supposed to be killed in the cabin instead of me and Tommy. And this is why I'm here, Owen. It's the consequences of your actions that led me here." - Without letting him take another breath, you pulled his hair and pushed your knee into his nose, hearing an audible crash when his and your body collided. The blood ran down on his face in the next second, which had Mel crying out in fear.

"Let him be! Let him go, please!" - Mel moved her wrists around, trying to free herself, yet the presence of Joel was making her afraid. - "I'll tell you where she is, just don't hurt Owen, I beg you. I'll tell you everything you want." - "Mel, no." - Owen spoke out with trouble, having to speak and breathe with his mouth at once. But your attention was shifted back to Mel.

"Why do you fucking care? She's probably already dead anyway, we can't help her now!" - Mel exhaled, trying to clear her nose at least a bit. - "This is happening because of her. Every time something fucks up, Abby is behind it." - Wow, this took a different turn than you thought it would. Owen and Mel were arguing while you watched it happening and unraveling in front of your very eyes.

"She's your friend, she's someone I knew for years now, Mel. We aren't leaving anyone behind." - "My friend? Are you even listening to what you're saying, Owen? She isn't my friend, she's someone who you left to be with me and once I got pregnant, you went back to her. You think I don't know about what happened on the boat yesterday, huh?" - Mel rose her eyebrows, shutting Owen off completely. Neither you nor Joel dared to interrupt the situation, it was just too raw and to interesting to hear all of it. What happened yesterday? What was it?

"Abby is," - Mel suddenly turned her head to you, but Owen was quick to shout his pregnant girlfriend's name over the whole aquarium. Oh, so that was what happened on the boat. Holy fuck, both of them were just pieces of shits, weren't they? You chuckled at it, walking up to Owen quickly. - "Let her speak, will you?" - You mumbled, putting your boot on his knee as a warning. Now it was the time when Owen felt that he can maybe play the mind games with you.

"This isn't you, is it?" - At that question, you stopped everything you were doing. What the fuck was this question about? - "Think about that. Since you came to Seattle, something's wrong with your head, isn't it, huh?" - Owen gulped, speaking frantically. But weirdly, his words were making sense. - "But you felt it when you entered the first street and took a look around, right? I know the feeling. It's a mix of emotions. A mix of fear, despair, and rage. This is what the city does to the people in it." - Owen continued with his one-sided chit chat, but when your eyes traveled down to the foot leaned into his knee, he understood he's losing you.

"Before this, I was a Firefly. And she was one too. You've heard about Fireflies, right?" - The man asked quickly, making you engaged in the conversation again. - "Which base you were operating on?" - You mumbled back, responding to any of Owen's words for the first time. At this, he was quiet for a moment, your question catching him off-guard. - "Salt Lake City, ever since Jerry Anderson took it under his wings." - Owen explained quietly, seeing your face getting more colorless than before as you looked in front of you, reminiscing of something. That was when the idea first sneaked into his head.

"You've been a Firefly too, weren't you? Huh?" - Owen whispered, watching your response to what he was saying. Though he wasn't sure of it, he was pretty confident that he successfully crawled under your skin. At least a tiny bit. - "Spring. I was a part of the Spring group." - You mumbled as an answer. Oh. The Spring group was sort of a legend in the Salt Lake, just like the other three groups named after the seasons of the year. But Spring was the original, first experimental group of kids and teenagers about who Marlene knew she doesn't have enough time to train.

Thinking about Salt Lake was strange. Owen, Abby, Mel, Manny, and the rest of their friends spent there the best years of their adolescent lives. They learned a lot with the group in there, mastered new skills, but also had a lot of fun. Yet the truth was that because of the position Abby's dad had in the hierarchy meant that their group was... Highly benefited against the others.

When the whole era of Fireflies was coming to an end, Marlene had more kids and adolescents than adults. Sure, she could spend years in hiding while training soldiers out of the young people, but she had this feeling in her gut. She needed a plan, she needed to kick the remnants of government in their guts one more time before going to hell. It was her, who came up with the plan of sending adolescents to die. It was her idea to send them to blow up bombs inside the military zones of the big cities. And it was her, who was responsible for killing more than a hundred barely trained kids within one year before Joel Miller killed her in a cold blood.

Some of the people went into the suicidal missions without knowing what's awaiting them. If they didn't blow up during the attack itself, they were shot by the military. But as soon as people realized what was going on, they started to run out of the base. Some of the kids were later found dead, or infected. But there were maybe three of them that were never found. You certainly being one of them.

"I told you that we're the same, you and I. Both of us felt the shift inside when we entered Seattle, we were Fireflies, and you're a good person, just like me." - Owen tried to get you on his side, but your face was expressionless. You didn't care at this point. - "You're a good person, huh?" - Suddenly, you stomped your foot into his knee, feeling the bones slightly shift under your weight. So you repeated the procedure again and again. Melanie was the key after this moment, which you realized, but... Owen brushed over topics he shouldn't have talked about. The Fireflies, the things you felt inside your head... The fucker didn't have any right to talk about it.

As you walked for the pipe again, the high-pitched sound was in your ears again. Everything around you seemed to blur as the seconds passed, the beating of your heart got loud and raw. So much it was hard to hear your thoughts. It was the same feeling of chaos that ran through you when you and Ellie watched the Scars hanging the man on the tree. Your breath deepened and got louder again, your eyes were filled with hatred as you walked back to Owen. The sounds of your surroundings were blurry, almost unbearable for you - Melanie was screaming something on the top of her lungs, but English didn't make any sense to you at that point. Your eyes were solely fixed on Owen's bloody face.

"Come on, you don't wanna do this. You're not going to kill me." - The man snickered ironically, trying to pretend that he hasn't got a fucked up knee. Slowly, your eyes fixed on his face as you started to psychically disappear from the place you've been at. The Baldwin cottage started to appear, the interior surrounded every small piece of your fantasy, acting almost as parasite you couldn't get rid of. When you looked around, there was everyone - Nora, Mel, Owen, the dudes you barely remembered, the headphones girl, the Hispanic man... And her. Standing in front of you.

Slowly, Abby circled behind you and tugged your head back, making your neck stretch. She was looking down on you, then at Tommy, having this smug grin all over her disgusting face. This was before she touched you. These moments, in your perspective, were the most terrifying ones, because you didn't have an idea about what Abby will do to you. Owen was leaning into boxes, smoking while watching the scenery. - "Let her go, please, she ain't havin' any business in this." - Tommy begged while Nora taped his head to the wooden sink, making sure he can't turn his head around. - "I'm the one ya want, ya goddamn bastards."

"Are you sure about that?" - Abby asked mockingly, looking at the man. But at that moment, you started to mutter something to your friend out there. - "If you tell her anything, Tommy, I swear to God." - Which made Abby smile. The Hispanic man got up from Tommy, looking down at you. - "She's funny, I have to say. Who do you think she is? That old pervert's pet? He? Eres el pequeño juguete del Viejo, he?" - He lowered his head enough to study you up close, furrowing. As soon as he noticed that you're whispering something, he leaned even closer, trying to decipher the words. And against Abby's tight hold on your hair, you turned around to spit into his face, grinning as the Hispanic man almost slapped you like a little bitch you were. But all you got out of it was another strong pull on your hair as Abby pulled your head back into place, having a curse word escaping under your breath.

"Owen?" - The woman above you asked, playfully wiggling her eyebrows. Owen grinned back at her walking up to take her position - tugging on your scalp, holding both you and the chair in place. Just moments after that, Abby punched you in your face for the first time while Owen watched it, not trying to stop her or anything. He just made sure you cant wiggle out and that you're sat in the chair. That was when Owen fucked up for the first time. You'd never let anyone do such things to someone else while you'd be looking at it happening right in front of you. No.

You and the man were nothing alike. And this was the last mistake he'd ever made. Slowly, Baldwin's interior faded back into the wet aquarium one, but the world seemed to black away again as you prepared to swing the pipe again.

"Stop trying to tell who I am or what I want to do." - You answered, hitting his right side with the pipe. You heard his scream, yet it was the last thing you've heard before the world faded off to darkness once again. If Joel would as you what was happening, you wouldn't be able to answer. You simply didn't know. Muffled sounds filled your brain, but those were just unrecognizable sounds that connected to one audio track which you couldn't decipher.

When you've come back together, you felt a warm drop of blood running down your face whole your palm let the pipe fall on the ground, leaving only the metallic sound to fill the room. Mel was screaming hysterically, she was trying to free herself and you felt Joel's arms circling your shoulders as you both slowly sat on the ground. The man expected you to have a panic spot upon seeing what you've done to Owen, or at least to what had remained of the man. But your state was purely catatonic.

You just sat there why Joel was comforting you, your eyes couldn't leave the picture Owen's massacred body. His brain was splashed on the wall behind him, half of his skull was missing. You've broken every rib the man had, his bones in the legs were weirdly bent inward, his knees were smashed flat.

"What have you done? I've told you what you wanted to hear and you didn't let him go, as you promised!" - Melanie yelled at you, finally shifting your attention to her. What could you tell her to cleanse yourself? At least in your eyes? Was there anything to say at all?

"He didn't let me go either." - A mumble explained Mel what just happened as you picked yourself off the ground, untying her palms gently. If she wouldn't be as terrified as she was, she would try to strangle you, but instead of that, she sat there and massaged her wrists. - "You're free to go. Neither I nor my friends will try to hurt you unless you'll try to attack us again, okay?"

Joel was unsettled with your overall reaction. It seemed that you didn't even notice what you've done to Owen as if it was an everyday inconvenience and nothing more.

Mel nodded frantically, picking herself from you, covering her belly as she backed off out of the room. You've set on your way from the aquarium in the next minutes, not noticing that Mel snitched the map from the pocket of your backpack - Joel had the information you've come there for, but he knew that you won't like it.

Why did you feel so empty? You never imagined that this is how revenge would feel like. The man for what he deserved if you'd be his judge, but it didn't bring you any excitement whatsoever. Weren't you supposed to feel good by now? Shouldn't you feel easier when all was said done?

Why did you feel like a dead body just walking through Seattle? If any Scar would try to slice your throat at that moment, you wouldn't even flinch. No amount of murders of the bad people or torture could save your soul from the hell you've taken it into. No-one other than you could redeem your soul. But what if it was already damned? From the first moment, you've seen Abby and her friends as the bad guys who wanted to hurt everyone you loved and cared for. What if you were wrong? What if they were the good guys while you were the villains? Could you ever possibly walk on the path of the right or were you condemned to walk on the path of the wrong until the end of your days?

You knew Joel noticed how off you were. He noticed it before, especially when you practically made him fuck you like an animal, but he dismissed it as nothing serious at first. Yet now you showed him how wrong he was. Just two days ago, you couldn't understand how could he ever use two men against each other, and now, you've bashed another one's skull in cold blood. The descending to the abyss of madness was always easy, but on a place like this, all it took was one small pebble for your foot to slip on and after that, you were beyond saving.

"Are you alright?" - Joel asked as you walked through a big, empty, and quiet street near the theatre. At first, it almost appeared as if you misheard him because you grinned at the question. But after that, you looked at him through the rain, assuring you heard him perfectly. You took a moment to decide what to tell him before you stopped in the rain.

"Joel, I... At first, I thought that I'm doing this for you. You taught me how to love life, how to understand others. Then I thought I'm killing for you, Joel, I've brought so much death in here. I was guarding you from the dark of the night, watched as you slept, kept you on my radar all the time. And then you've disappeared, but I couldn't stop myself from doing all the terrible things." - The man watched your face and the expressions it was projecting, the whole fight inside of you could be basically heard. - "This isn't about you. It's all about me. I had started it, I wanted to revenge me, all I wanted to know was that Abby is dead so she wouldn't try to come for you again.

But then the first WLF came. Then it were the Scars, more WLF, Nora, Owen, the girl with the headphones... I took life from all of those people. And not because they were a threat to you, no, I had a feeling here." - You took his palm and pressed it next to your heart. - "I was so angry. I wanted to feel what revenge feels like, I needed all of it, do you understand me?" - And at that moment, you started crying, shaking your head.

"How was I supposed to know that it is all going to end like this? It's not just me who got fucked over - Ellie is fucked up as well, you hadn't spoken properly in the last couple of days, Dina is just quietly watching us going on one suicidal mission after another, not knowing if we're ever coming back. I... I maybe leave Jackson for good when we get back, Joel. I have this feeling that I don't belong there and maybe I'll be better off as a wayfaring stranger now I know I'm nothing more than a sadistic monster," - You went on, but at that moment, the man just caught your waist and kissed you out of blue, having you shut up immediately. It wasn't a proper response, but you were falling into hysteria and he didn't have the heart to slap you out of it.

When he moved from you again, you didn't know what to say. You just watched him without any clue of what to do now.

"Remember that one nite in Jackson when I asked you on a dance?" - Joel sighed, closing his eyes. - "You've told me that you'll go to hell for that. And all I said was that I'll meet you there. And I meant that, girl. Ya know, for some old man who was survivin' helluva long time out there, this was an everyday situation for twenty years. Killed or be killed? It doesn't matter. In the end, there'll be someone dead." - The man snickered at his own remark, speaking from experience.

"You're everythin' but a monster. You've just never been outside Jackson since you've grown up, that's all. You forgot what's like to be threatened every moment you're outside, what is the reality like now. Trust me, it's comfortin', knowin' you have your bed and your mug, knowin' you can brew yourself some coffee when you get outta bed - but that's not the life here. Trust me, it ain't easy, tryin' to be normal again. And I know somethin' 'bout that myself." - Joel nodded, clearly thinking about the things he's been through in the past couple of years.

Jackson was possibly the calmest and beautiful chapter of his life ever since Sarah was killed. And ever since the night you've told him what you felt for him and the other night Ellie told him that she's ready to try it all again, it all started to make sense. He couldn't lose you. Not when you were the only good thing he knew.

"I'll make you feel good, 'kay? I'll do everythin' I will be able to do to see you happy." - The man smoothed your hair off your forehead, kissing it. - "And if you won't feel that you can live in Jackson, we'll be leavin' together, you hear me?" - Joel assured as you hugged his waist, now crying into the crook of his neck.

At the moment, he was glad that Mel didn't know where Abby was. She just told you she's on the Seraphites' island just off the coast, but the girl was most probably dead at the moment. Searching for Abby would be like searching for a needle in a pile of hay. Which meant that you could go home. Finally.

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

Text

Lost Faith (Favored Ones, Part 24.)

Quote for the chapter: “Live with me in this sin forever.” - Danny Kiranos

Part summary: Seattle was turning into a living nightmare - but finally, you had an information you wanted so bad in your palms. You got to know where Abby is.

A/N: I am sorry for describing such open violence, it’s going to be really disgusting with the upcoming parts. It is how it is.

Warnings: Gore, blood, murder, infected, guns, shooting, angst, graphic depiction of manslaughter.

Word count: 5.8 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us @avery-miller @mikah-writes @mad-hatter-98 @sadiaafrin99 @flavorishy

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day two - evening:

It was dark outside for you to see anything. Maybe it was the coverage of the trees making it more difficult to see, but this place was simply too dark. But it came with one fact which made you realize that you maybe aren't that screwed. The Scars couldnt see shit either, so they were carrying torched to light up their surrounding. At least some of them to this degree.

"Who is that?" - Ellie whispered, looking around as well. You gazed back at her quickly to assure yourself that any of those fuckers are in close proximity to your bracken hiding spot. When you couldnt see any brown coat, you managed to speak quietly.

"These are the Scars. The enemies of the WLF. They communicate through whistling, so that's a catch." - You described your enemies quickly while getting up on your knees to see you'll be able to maneuver through the park, slowly getting some hang on the surroundings. - "They shoot arrows on sight, but if we take out of them, I can shoot back hopefully." - This was actually a good plan you came up with. There was no sureness if you'd make it out unnoticed, but taking out some of them could make your way easier.

"Hey, see these two loners next to the huge tree?" - Ellie pointed to a couple standing a few feet away from you. One of them was holding a torch and the other one was inspecting something, which made them an ideal target. Without any hesitation, you nodded and Ellie nodded back you, making sure you caught her drift. You were about to take them out. And so you got to the job, moving around as quietly and quickly as possible, running from one bush of bracken to another, waiting for a bit and repeating the process again. Ellie took out the standing one while you jumped on the back of the kneeling Scar, covering their mouth with your palm as you pushed your knife into the middle of their neck. It didn't even feel unnatural or too stuff by that pint. Your arm just automatically pushed deeper in, making sure that the son of a bitch stays dead when you let them go.

This couple was a bingo for the both of you - Ellie used the revolver rounds and you stole the four arrows you found at one of the bodies. Truth be told, this wasn't much ammunition - but it was better than nothing, that was for sure. Your chances of survival suddenly rose a little. Next, you made your way to another part of the park, killing everyone on sight quietly. Usually, you kneeled further away from them while Ellie hid behind them, waiting for you to shoot the arrow into their neck. After that, she made sure they won't get back on their legs ever again. If you'd had to admit something, it was you and Ellie being an extraordinary team when it came to killing both normal people and the infected. There wouldn't be any point in denying the fact.

It only got harder when you got to face the brutal scenery reminding you of the reality of Seattle. Two scars were dragging a man on the ground. He was pleading for his dearest life, crying out for help. And you'd help him if Ellie's palm didn't hold you down. It would be too dangerous to reveal yourself. If you wouldn't be too careful, this could be your faith as well.

The man was dragged to the third Scar, who was preparing a noose for him as the person watched him getting dragged on the mud, the stones and the branches fallen off the trees. This was making you sick from your stomach. You watched the shaming process until the very end - they hung him up and cut his belly open, watching as the blood and intestines basically fell out of his abdominal cavity. He was still fighting for his life when the group talked about him being freed from some sins or what. And as you and Ellie changed the position, hiding behind a fallen tree, you could see not one... But at least a dozen persons hung up in the same way.

"The TV station..." - Ellie sighed upon the terrifying sighting, trying to find some words to say. - "It was the Scars' doing. They hung the men up and killed Leah before we could get to her." - You finished quietly, looking at all of the people hanging there, being killed in the most humiliating way possible. With their hands tied behind their back, their abdominal cavity opened up and choked to death.

As you kneeled there and watched their work, of which the Scars were seemingly proud of, you felt another wave of rage filling you up. Without realizing what you were doing, you took out an arrow, watching a loner with a torch walking closer to you. It didn't matter in which fuckery did these psychos believed in. They were hunting down all people, putting them up as trophies of sorts, hanging each one of them in a gruesome way. Why should you have mercy when they didn't have any? Did their religion give them some sort of permission to do that to the others? Oh, you highly doubted that.

Some high-pitched sound was filling your eardrums up as your breathing got heavier and heavier. These fucks alone were responsible for Joel's death. No-one else was to be blamed then them. The beating of your heart was like drums inside your brain as you put your elbows high enough to go for her fucking head to shoot the loner down. Before Ellie could stop you from releasing the string, the arrow was on its way. What did happen after that, you didn't know.

Only glimpses of this action remained inside your head. Their begging when you circled your elbow around their neck as you sliced their fucking throats as if they were pigs. Shooting and yelling of commands, loud and warning whistling, begging for life. The blood soaking into the leather coats as the rain started falling through the coverage above. Suddenly, you winked again, waking up from the violent rage. You were standing next to the hanged man, who was still suffocating to his death with more than seven dead Scar bodies around you.

You were covered in blood from head to toes, trembling with your knife in your palm as you tried to remember what just happened. Then you noticed Ellie with her revolver standing in front of you with a blank expression as she was thinking about something, slowly putting the smoking gun down. - "Did I do this?" - One look around told you that you, in fact, cause all of that. All these people were stabbed to death, only some of them were also shot to their legs or arms.

"I couldn't stop you. It was as if... As if there was no-one inside you for a moment." - The girl confessed as you let the knife fall on the ground to follow it, puking into the small puddle of water. Your stomach was contracting for a long time, but nothing other than saliva left your body. You noticed a drop of blood slowly rolling to your nose as you concentrated on your reflection. Your eyes were empty, but it was the only feature you were able to recognize. You felt Ellie's palm tugging you up back on your feet, leading you to another hideout.

"They must've heard what happened here, so we better move it. You weren't exactly discreet or quiet with this matter." - The redhead whispered and started to wipe the blood off of your forehead. How could you know what you're feeling with the utter chaos roaming every small part of your body? You already started to grief for Joel as your brain slowly connected the dots, but it turned out differently than sadness usually does. It was indeed very useful, but not in your current situation. - "You holding up?" - She asked when she saw the spaced-out expression you had.

"Aren't you afraid of me now?" - A whimper left your lips as you felt the urge to cry. At that moment, were you still having the moral high ground when it came to Ellie and Joel? Or were you just like them since that moment? You killed at least eleven people in a spawn of two to three minutes. Like a brute. But Ellie shook her head with an unnatural expression. - "We do what we need to do. We endure and survive." - The girl told you and checked the surroundings once again. No-one was coming in your direction. It looked safe. - "Comic books can teach a hell load of stuff when you read the right ones." - She explained the quote as you made your way through an empty, corroded parking lot full of empty cars. As you found the staircase leading up, Ellie made sure she goes first before any of these bat shit crazy thoughts you clearly had would fuck your head up again. This wasn't what you two needed at the moment.

Well, fuck both of you, there were more Scars in your way once you came out of the building. Which could be a problem once you'd let yourself set loose again. So she made sure you're staying put by kneeling with you beyond one of the obstacles. - "Listen. I need you to shoot them down just like before, okay?" - Ellie asked you and watched your head nodding so she'd be at least partially sure you won't go all crazy again. - "Alrite. Imma go first there and you'll follow me once this area is cleared out, we clear?" - Again, you confirmed, preparing your bow and steadying yourself on your position. The girl was on the move and you just kneeled there, having the first one on your mark - you were ready to fire once you'd get the signal. It came soon enough. Ellie jumped over the huge guys' chest and sliced his throat - but that wasn't enough to bring him down. So, with a shallow breath, you went for his exposed chest, hitting the spot where you thought he'll have the heart. It wasn't sure if you hit or miss in the first few moments, but soon enough, you watched him crumble down like a house of cards.

You walked through this part of the city just like that - you sneaked around in the tall grass, took cover behind cars and walls and you were leading the long-ranged attacks while Ellie was doing the manual job. You didn't even have to be afraid that you'll go out of arrows. Scars had more than enough archers, which played in your favors. Sure, it felt weird to go through cooling bodies of your enemies, but it turned out these fucks had a lot of stuff. A lot of gun ammo, some first aid supplies, arrows, and... - "Wow. Would you look at that." - You mumbled to Ellie once you bowed over to pick a manual weapon. You snorted upon watching the blade of the machete, knowing damn well this girl will be put to use very soon. Quickly, you pinned into the small drink rack on your backpack with straps so it wouldn't fall out that easily, looking at Ellie.

"We should move on. Let's jump off here, to the other concrete island, yeah?" - The girl pointed her finger below you and you chuckled ironically. Well, not that you could choose. You've scavaged the whole place already and there was no other option for you to go. So you sighed and looked at your best friend. - "Please, may the Lord let me survive to see another day." - You said before jumping down. Your muscles jolted in a weird way as you muttered out a curse word. - "Watch out!" - Ellie yelled at you just before a Scar shot a bullet at you. Quickly, you pulled out your gun, trying to shoot him down as well while Ellie landed next to you, taking care of the other two men standing at the island.

When it was silent there again, you laid down on your back while Ellie sat down, catching some breath. - "Fucking Christ. We can't have one peaceful moment in this shit hole, can we?" - You stated, as a matter of fact, having your friend chuckling at it as she shook her head. When you caught at least a bit of energy, you decided to continue trough a make-up store to see where it leads. But mostly you chose this route because of the hospital war right behind it. Ellie went to open up the door just when it got torn from the doorframe.

A huge man in a leather coat came out of the doorframe, holding a massive hammer in his arms as he walked up to Ellie, having an obvious message inside his face. He hadn't noticed you, so you ducked behind one of the covers, taking out the machete from the place you've had it at. You knew it will come in handy - yet you couldn't know it will be so soon.

Ellie was in life-threatening danger - but you couldn't go to a one-on-one fight with this man. Against him, you were a branch on a dead tree. But you could surprise him. All it took was a bit of patience and a lot of hope that Ellie won't get hurt or killed before that moment.

Your guts told you when it was safe to go after the man, jumping on his shoulders and piercing the machete through his chest. This one was way stiffer than going for someone's neck, that was for sure. While you were hanging on the man's back, pushing the machete deeper with your torso, Ellie picked up on her legs and took her revolver out, going after the big guy's companion who was shooting arrows at you.

It was pure chaos, to say the least. The big guy groaned in pain as you felt your chest meet his shoulder blades, meaning that the machete cut through him. Finally, you felt the man collapsing under you while Ellie still had her little shoot out with the other Scar.

When the man was finally laying on his back, you could see the tip of your weapon coming out of his upper belly. But no matter how much the guy was hurt, he didn't seem to be dying just yet. So, without hesitation, you leaned down to rip the sledgehammer out of his grasp, finishing him for good.

The man was fighting back forcefully. He tried to push you down so much that you involuntary decided to fall into the deepest pit of the brutal animality - you stepped in his face with your boot, finally securing the sledgehammer... Smashing it right into his skull without the slightest attempt to stop yourself from making a jam out of the human being's organs.

The crack haunted your ears for another five minutes. You were standing above the dead body, watching everything sort of slowly leaking out of the man's skull. Your stomach was still kicking in, but you didn't feel anything anymore. The view was gross to look at, but... Your consciousness was completely quiet. There wasn't single remorse, no bad thoughts haunting your head, panic attack, or grossing out about yourself.

It scared you - especially when you realized that the only thought making you angry was that your machete was now stuck in the man's body, which made it unusable now. Unless you'd be willing to turn him on his back and pull it out again. Which you didn't want to do that at all. - "Fucking hell. Are you okay?" - Ellie turned her head at you and you, with an empty expression, turned your head at her back. Without a word, you nodded and went to check the other room to see if there's anyone still alive there.

It struck at the very moment. The emptiness inside your chest and head. You figured out why was it there. It finally clicked inside your head. This was what being fueled by rage felt. On the inside, you were eaten alive by hatred because of Joel. Sure, there was this thing about revenge which made you come to Seattle in the first place, but it wasn't the emotion of rage at the time. Yet the longer Joel wasn't there, the longer you processed that the Scars maybe killed him on the unfinished bridge, the more of rage was ramping inside of you. His disappearance made you lashing out on two occasions now - how many of these sudden lashing outs did you have in front of you? None? One? Ten?

This could cost you your life if you wouldn't be careful. And if you'd get that WLF whore into your hands... Oh, boy.

"Ellie?" - A mumble filled the silence as you made your way forward, swimming in deep water because there was no other way to get into the hospital complex. At the moment, you both stopped and just tried to keep your heads above the surface. The girl looked you in the eyes, knitting her eyebrows together. - "Don't let me get to Nora under any circumstances, can you promise me that?" - This demand clearly surprised your best friend. But to a certain degree, she could understand what was that about.

She didn't believe that Joel would get killed by a bunch of bow-shooting, whistling savages. No. He was a man who had to have his own back for twenty years. This very man was capable of murdering a whole patrol consisting of twenty people inside of a Pittsburg hotel, which she saw with her own eyes. This man taught her every small thing about survival inside the enemy's territory - from how to sneak around to making them terrified of her.

Yet the weird, unsettling feeling was tickling her guts. It was more or less a what-if situation which her brain wasn't accepting. No. Joel had to be alive. The man had to be fucking alive. Because she knew that if you'd bump into Joel's body hung just like the man you've seen being executed earlier, she'd fall into a way deeper and way more aggressive state than you were at. So, your demand made sense to her, having her promise you to keep you out of Nora's presence by any means necessary.

You entered the hospital through the lower floor, which was mostly flooded. Both of you went into an immediate quiet mode as soon as you recognized that you've finally entered the enemy's territory. Now, there weren't any bow-shooting savages who sometimes knew how to use a bow. Now, you had to be extra-careful, since you found yourself in a hospital full of trained soldiers. Especially, when one of them was sitting on a box with their back turned at you. - "Stay here. I'll deal with her, try to ask where Nora is." - Ellie instructed you before swimming off. With a quick nod, you caught one of the flooded boilers to take a bit of rest.

Ellie swung behind the person, putting her ejection knife to the girl's throat, tearing headphones out of her ears. - "Don't make a fucking sound." - Ellie muttered with ice-cold calmness, using her knee to make the girl raise both her palms up. - "Hands up." - Ellie said her point out loud, making sure she had control over the situation.

"Easy... Easy." - "You know a girl named Nora?" - Ellie asked instead of lowering her attention too much. - "Sure, yeah." - The girl nodded frantically. The sound of her gulping traveled all the way to you. - "Where is she?" - "In the hospital." - "Where in the hospital?" - You could physically see Ellie rolling her eyes at the dodging answers the headphone girl was giving her. But in the next moment, as the muscles on Ellie's arm flexed and pushed the knife closer to the girl's throat, she finally decided to speak clearly.

"They're c-clearing the upper floors. She's somewhere in there." - With the realization, you saw that Ellie's attention faded away into the background as she thought about something. That was the moment the headphones girl could fight for her life, and so, she was quick to take her own knife out, turning out to face Ellie. Ellie managed to grasp the girl's wrist holding the knife, keeping it away from her body. Without you grasping the situation, Ellie's arm sprung forward, stabbing the girl's throat straight forward, making you stop for a second.

You took a moment to see Ellie's response before you swam after your friend as you both watched the girl suffocating in her own blood. Well, this was starting in a splendid way. - "This didn't go as planned, did it?" - You asked and leaned closer to the girl, watching her face for the first time. And she was offputtingly familiar to your eyes. But honestly, you couldn't determine if she was a part of Baldwin or not in the state you were at.

"Fuck, of course, it didn't go as planned. Holy shit." - Ellie sighed, catching her temples with both her palms, trying to calm herself down. It was your time to intervene - so you stood up in front of her, catching both her shoulders in your palms. - "Calm the fuck down." - You mumbled, having the girl lowering her arms down as she started to stare at you. - "We need to move our asses if we don't want the WLF finding us standing above their stabbed friend. Get your shit together and let's go."

It was funny to see how your roles suddenly changed. Just a day ago, you puked the fuck out of you after you left the TV station, having Ellie and Dina calming you down, telling you that what you did was the right response in the situation you've found yourself in. Now, you were calming Ellie down after her body performing an automatic self-defense reaction. Ellie slowly nodded, gulped, and remained herself to keep her shit together, as you put it.

Both of you were so close to finding Nora. Nora who knew Abby. That Nora who was photographed with the rest of the Jackson-attacking WLF party. The woman who could tell you where Abby could be. So, you set on your way through the whole hospital. - "By the way, did Dina found any more things out? About Owen, Mel, maybe the Hispanic man?" - You asked when you gathered some bullets you've found in a small storeroom next to the spot the headphones girl was sitting at. - "I mean, we can maybe continue when you confront Nora. We don't even have to stop." - You offered, but to your disappointment, Ellie just shook her head.

"Yeah, from what Dina understood when I and Jesse got back," - "Jesse is here? Our black-haired Jesse? Jackson Jesse?" - You shot back almost immediately. The girl slowly straightened up, looking at you. There was no proper time to tell you she found Jesse instead of Tommy when she was in Hillcrest. - "He went after us all the way just the other fucking day after we left Jackson. Listen, I don't know what was he thinking either?" - "Fuck it. Just tell me what Dina found out." - You mumbled angrily, shoving some chocolate bar you've found down your throat.

This situation was bad. And it was seemingly getting worse and worse with each passing hour. If you'd be in Jackson, you'd be shaken just by the thought of killing someone else. Let alone sledgehammering their skull. But there you were, doing all you had to do if you wanted to survive long enough to see another day. But with Jesse joining you in Seattle, there was another unknown added to the equation. Dina was fucking pregnant with this boy. He was another person to feed, to look after, to protect. Sure, he could be helpful in more ways than in which was he a deadweight, but still... Your gut told you that Jesse joining you on your small Seattle quest was something that was about to end fucking bad.

"Dina thinks that Owen had gone AWOL, possibly with Mel, we don't know that yet. She was mentioned in the reports about Owen." - "AWOL?" - You asked back and Ellie thought about other ways to tell you the piece of information. - "He went dark, disappeared, WLF don't know where he is at this moment." - She explained swiftly.

The piece of information made you stop everything you were doing for a small moment as you looked Ellie in the eyes again. Owen had gone dark? Did he disappear? The man who was helping Abby with every moment of fucking you up was nowhere to be found at the moment? Was there a possibility you wouldn't get him the piece of humble pie he deserved? Why was it crumbling all down? Trying to get through it, you nodded, sighing once again.

"Let's go." - Your best friend patted your shoulder, leading you through the first floor of the hospital. Yet just when you were about to leave into a small opened space with a big white tent, her arm pulled you down. - "I kinda forgot to mention they have dogs. Look around, we need some plan to get done with this... Quietly." - Ellie instructed you. The information about the dogs made you worried. What should you do with an animal like this? While you couldn't take care of the dogs, you could see a way of keeping the men under your eye.

"See that nest out there?" - You asked, motioning to the other side of the small yard. - "Get me up there and we can make it work." - So, it was decided. For the first time, you tried to keep the whole operation as quiet as possible, making sure you dispose of the dead WLFs in a way so their friends couldn't see them right away. Soon enough, you were kneeling inside the nest, having a dead sniper laying on the ground behind you. It was your time to shine while Ellie was working manually down there, making her way to the inside.

Your plan was easy - making some noise outside, diverting the attention to the yard for Ellie to have her space inside. Which you could make work because Ellie gave you a pre-prepared Molotov and another empty bottle. So far, your estimations involving proximity worked, so why would you fail now, right? First, you threw the bottle out, waiting for the first ones coming out. There weren't many of them, so had to pick a different approach.

You grabbed the rifle which was laying there, firing to the air to alert the WLFs. Sure. What now? - "Trespasser! In the tent!" - You yelled to lure them exactly where you wanted them to be. And to your surprise, they gathered around the tent, searching through it. At that moment, you felt it's right to throw the bottle. And so you did. All you did was sitting there, listening to what you've caused in horror as it slowly settled down.

The whole tent was now on fire. Because you threw a Molotov at it shamelessly. To divert their attention. Now, you were watching a group of people you've just set on fire along with the tent. First, you let yourself somewhere back there in the bridge-building. Then, you killed a guy in a gruesome way. Now, you set people on fire. But it worked because soon enough, you heard the WLF going after Ellie, who infiltrated the building.

For quite a long time, you just sat there with your back leaned to the nest's wall, looking down on the yard to see if something goes bad. It was hard to say how much time passed by when Ellie crawled out of a different end of the yard. Just one look told you the shit, whatever happened there, went downhill. Usually, you being the clumsy one, you ended up covered in blood since you entered Seattle. But now, Every small piece of Ellie's clothing was ravaged in small splashes of blood. Without much hesitation, you climbed down, dragging Ellie out of the hospital, setting back on your way to the theatre.

Once you didn't feel threatened with the WLFs, infected or the Scars, you sat Ellie down to catch some breath. - "Okay, start talking." - You mumbled to the disoriented girl. Her breath was shallow and somehow, the seemed to be out of the world. Just after you shook her shoulders, her palms gripped your forearms as she partially got back to reality. - "You're freaking me out, Ellie. What happened?" - You mumbled, watching Ellie, sitting opposite of her to keep her mentally with you at least a bit.

"It's about... Nora. She's dead." - The girl breathed out, trying to search for words to say. - "The Scars? Did the Scars kill Nora as well?" - You answered immediately to keep the flow going. Ellie shook her head and looked into your eyes. - "I did... I have... I killed her, Y/N. I did it." - Then you didn't get the issue of the situation. Ellie had murdered tens, maybe hundreds of people before. Why would Nora shake her guts so hard? - "I didn't want to, but she didn't give any other option. I chased her down to an area full of spores... And... Then... It got into me." - Ellie started to ramble, but you didn't say a word. You just listened to what she had on her mind. You've seen Ellie with tears in her eyes rarely, yet there you were, having the girl trembling under your fingers.

"It got so personal. I was standing above her when she started to swing the pipe at me, but she was already suffocating. All I could see was she and her friends hurting you and Tommy in the cabin, realizing Nora probably knows where Abby is now. And I hit her. And then I hit her again. And again." - She explained and shook her head. This was getting into her head as well, which was breaking you apart. Gently, you let the girl slowly slip into your arms as you smoothed her back with quiet hums. - "The Seattle Aquarium." - Ellie whispered suddenly. - "She might be in the aquarium."

While you gathered your mind to realize what did that mean, you didn't spot the shadow lurking behind you. But suddenly, something grabbed both of you.

#ellie williams #ellie the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x y/n #joel miller imagine #joel miller the last of us #dina the last of us #dina something something #jesse the last of us #dina x ellie #joel and ellie #the last of us #the last of us part two #the last of us part 2 #the last of us imagine #tlou #tlou2

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

Text

True Religion (Favored Ones, Part 23.)

Quote for the chapter: “So I've become the bringer of death. A lover of life. The one who guards from the dark of the night.” - Shawn James

Part summary: As Dina repaired the old radio you and Ellie had found, Tommy and Nora’s whereabouts started to get clearer with every conversation she heard. But you didn’t know what can all of that cost you.

A/N: I think you’ll kill me boys, but, honestly, I do not care at this moment anymore. This is intense shit and you knew what you were signing tf up for.

Warnings: Gore, blood, murder, infected, guns, shooting, angst.

Word count: 5.8 K

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Seattle, day two - midday:

You've woken up with an uncomfortable ache in your head. Dina's things were carried away somewhere, so you were laying alone in the room with the door closed. Joel was there as far as you could say - you could hear a song being played on the guitar being played. It could be Ellie, sure, but she was never into Johnny Cash to play some of his songs. Slowly, you sat up and looked around. It took you another while to gather at least enough strength to get on your feet. Maybe Joel was right - you most probably had some slight concussion or stuff like that, because the whole theatre was spinning around you from side to side, making you sick from your stomach. Even walking up to Joel was enough problem on its own.

"Goodmorning." - Your raspy voice mumbled to Joel as you slowly sat down into one of the plushy seats next to him, disturbing his small guitar concert. With that, Joel gave you a small smile. - "You snored a lot." - He stated, making you shake your head.

"You're snoring all the time and I'm not whining about it. Stop being such a pussy." - You teased the man back, having him chuckling at you. This was the girl he knew and fell in love with - the one who was bitching him down daily, poking fun of him daily.

"I take it as a sign that you feel better now, huh?" - The man hugged his guitar, trying not to stare at you too much because you were the prettiest lady he had ever seen. Your eyes were playfully shining as you couldn't take your gaze off the man. But slowly, you nodded with a grin on your face.

"Where's Dina? Is the baby too much these days, huh? And Ellie? Did they leave us here because I was snoring too much?" - It was meant to come around as a joke, but it didn't quite hit off that vibe. You were worried about the girls since you couldn't see them around. Joel shook his head with a smile of a boy, looking at you.

"Ellie has gone after Tommy because the other girl had repaired the radio and made some connection here and there, so we now have a pretty good idea about what's WLFs doing at the moment. But she's feeling better now, I made sure of that." - The man put the guitar down - and as he did, you put your feet there right away. He sighed but started to smooth your shins, leaning his back into the seat as well.

"What are you doing here, then? You wouldn't let her go alone." - You sighed, leaning in and catching his palm to play around with his fingers. He knew that you knew him - you knew he wouldn't let her go alone, but, maybe it was the time to start putting more of his trust to her.

"Someone had to keep an eye out for you, baby. And for Dina." - Joel smiled sheepishly, making you grin even more. Against all the painful grunts coming out of you, you sat up and climbed on top of him - which was certainly an unexpected turn to start with. Maybe you meant what you've told him the previous night. Maybe, even though all of his sins, there was still a small way of hope.

"You were just staring at my boobs when I was out. Let's be real here." - A smile appeared on your lips once again as you put his hands on your hips. - "I dunno what you're talking about, miss. Must be in your head." - The man teased you back, sliding his palm on your butt, palming it to bring you even closer to him. Gently, you felt first kisses on your neck as you hugged him tightly, having this lazy smile on you as you embraced him.

"I mean, you shouldn't think of yourself that low, Joel, you could've just asked me. I would show them to you anytime you'd like me to." - Jesus, you were in one particular mood that night, weren't you? But to be honest, he was glad for every second of the endearing light-hearted moment.

"Go on." - The man leaned his back into the seat, still keeping your ass in his hands as a grin spread all over his face. - "I'm askin' you. Rite now." - And with grace, you did exactly what you implied on doing, slipping the t-shirt on the floor. And of course, it all ended up in a pretty heated up make out session. Just as you were about to undo his buckle, someone had opened the door.

Shocked, you shot your look at Dina, having a horrified expression on your face. And what should Joel say? He was already getting hard to take you right there on the very seat. Holy fuck. - "I'm-I'm sorry, guys! I was just checking if everything's alright. I'll fuck off now!" - Dina yelled at you with her cheeks heated up, already leaving the room. Well, it didn't mean much since the mood was ruined beyond recovery in your opinion.

"I'll go check on her, okay?" - You mumbled and Joel nodded without hesitation. Swiftly, you made your way through the building as you tried to smoothen out your clothes and try to look as if you weren't horny beyond socially acceptable. It must've been the nerves the whole situation which made your body overly seeking out some good old fucking. Yet to your bad luck, you hadn't got exactly the circumstances, time, or a space to do this stuff at. Soon, you were knocking on the radio room where Dina was residing.

When you entered the room, she was just puking into a metal bucket as you poked your head in. To be honest, it was still a better sight than seeing your girlfriend's dad figure touching your best friend in a rather inappropriate way, no matter he's her man. So this wasn't anything that would make you turn on your heels to leave - you just tiptoed in and sat on the other side of the map, waiting for Dina to gather herself back together.

"You're not looking exactly spectacular, babe." - You whispered when she straightened again and got her hair off of her face drenched in a cold sweat. Swiftly, she put her hair into a ponytail, smiling back at you. - "You're not at your best either, pal." - Then, Dina coughed to the top of her palm, jumping at the radio coming to life. And you did so as well. Last you remembered, the radio was out of order. The girl stretched out for a marker, writing something down on the map as she grinned at the sight of you staring at the old piece of technology.

"Loosened connections and antenna. No wonder you and Ellie didn't figure that out since neither of you is exactly an electrician miracle." - The girl explained shortly. - "And what you're looking at... Are the WLF zones here in Seattle. I mean, when you look at it, it's pretty impressive." - "They're singlehandedly ruling over Metropole with limitless potential. Woah." - You finished for her, looking at Dina. The girl nodded, but something told you that this isn't everything she had to say.

"Not necessarily. I heard that Joel told you that WLF is having a full-blown war here with someone. He told me that he heard some people talking about some assassination." - The girl explained quickly and you nodded to let her know that you're listening. - "They call these people Scars. I don't know who they are, what are they doing here or what's their deal... But I heard a whole patrol getting murdered like ten minutes ago. That was why I was looking for Joel."

"Do they know we're here, or what's the deal?" - You mumbled with horror in your face. While the theatre was your biggest source of safety in Seattle, you could get surrounded fairly easily. Dina shook her head to calm you down, whether that would help or not.

"But we have information about this girl right here." - Dina picked up a polaroid from the ground, giving it to you to look at. To be honest, you didn't remember the girl's face in the slightest. Sure, she could be here... Oh. Wait. She, this woman, was the one who told Abby to end all of this already. Nora. Her name was Nora. - "Ellie is in Hillcrest right now, looking for Tommy, and Joel wants to take off to search for Nora. She should be... Here, I guess." - Dina pointed her marker at a hospital building marked down as 'Zone 2'. It was quite a stretch from where you were at the moment, but it wasn't the furthest either.

"She was assigned there just an hour ago and her group is gathering medical supplies there." - Your friend looked down on her palms leaning into the table as she sighed loudly. - "I don't know what's happening here, but it seems as if something nasty is about to go down any minute here in Seattle. From what I understood about all of there operations WLF is running, it's supposed to be some sort of gathering process because they are planning on launching some huge attack. Where? I don't know. But sooner we get this over with, the sooner we'll be able to go home." - Dina finished and caught her belly.

"Can we meet Ellie somewhere halfway? We can search the perimeter, clear the area up, and then meet up with Ellie." - An idea left your lips which had Dina watching you with her mouth slightly opened up. Clearing up the area. You were talking about killing people without a doubt, which Dina could read one thing from. That was the adrenaline rush Dina talked about. The acceptance of the things being as they were. It was the survivor slowly waking up inside of you.

"I mean..." - The girl sighed again, fetching the map you were having all of your directions written on since day one. - "You'll be going to the Lakehill hospital, which is right here." - As she spoke, she circled the spot with her marker, watching the big map she had on the wall. - "The nearest spot you can meet on is this park over here, you see it?" - Dina asked, pointing at a small orange circle on your map and dark-colored spot on the big map. - "You might be prepared to spend the night there because I don't know when Ellie's planning on coming back from Hillcrest." - With that, Dina marked the park on your map as, giving it back to you.

"Are you sure you'll make it if we leave now?" - You asked, smoothing your friend's shoulder. At that, Dina snickered and shook her head. - "I've survived a lot worse shit than a bit of stomach sickness, trust me. In the worst case, I'll barricade myself in here with some snack and I'll wait for your arrival, your majesty. What about you?" - Dina knitted her eyebrows and waited for your response.

To your surprise, you knew exactly what Dina was asking about. Will you handle murdering another tens of people, groups of survivors? But, for real, had you any other option there? No. This was the only way around it. These people shoot on sight without mercy. Why should you be worried about killing them if you were the one making it in the end?

It was good to know that you weren't as sensitive around the topic as you were before. Sure, it wasn't exactly feeling the best knowing you've ended the lives of people which was more or less violence coming in vain yet... This was the only way you could go from the point you were at. Also, you needed more ammo, food, and other supplies because most of it was stolen by the people looting your horses while you were out - and you couldn't gather everything from Sadie's saddlebacks. Some fresh clothes would help a ton as well, but you couldn't complain about what you had.

The last thing with which you reasons the WLFs members with was that... Each of them was a friend of Abby's. What better message could you send other than killing each of them, making the woman realize that someone's after her, thirsting for seeing her in pain - in the same pain she had caused you. So, to summarize it all, you didn't tell Dina a single word. You just nodded, assuring her.

Quickly, you ran down to find Joel already packing his backpack. As it seemed, he wanted to take off on his own and unnoticed, which didn't exactly play out as he thought it will. Instead of confronting him off the bat, you tiptoed to the doorframe, leaning into it with your shoulder. - "Sneaking somewhere, Miller?" - You asked and narrowed your lips to a line. - "It seems so for sure."

The man let his backpack fall to the ground again, turning his head at you. He was worried. About what, you didn't know, but understandably, in this situation, he didn't need to have a specific reason to be worried. - "Dina already turned you in, so, no lies here. We're taking off immediately. Ellie will catch up with us later." - You told him just when he opened up his lips to speak. Without further explanations, you packed your stuff as well, looking at the hollow magazine of your gun. Now you knew you can hit the target sometimes - the other side of the fact consisted of your inability to shoot properly. At least, you had your knife, bow, and arrows - which could prove quite useful if you'd need to attack some patrol from the shadows.

"Are you sure," - "Sure up my ass, Joel. I have nothing to be sure of because this fight is my fight. I was the one for this cycle was started for and so, I will be the one to end it. By any means necessary." - You answered just when Joel was about to start his typical 'I just want you to be safe' pouting show. With that, the man shut up, nodding at your decision.

Just ten minutes later, you were hugging Dina as you and Joel were leaving. It wasn't raining anymore, but the air was sultry and humid just like the clouds were sending a clear sign - it could start raining any minute again. Rather than standing there without a clue of what to do there, you moved forward to make your way through the mostly abandoned city. The closer you got to the downtown again, the crazier it was looking around you. There was tall skyscrapers with beaten out windows, ravaged cars and stores, deep pits and cracks in the asphalt full of water and surely, it could be seen how quickly nature overtook the whole city.

"What did you mean by saying that you've started all of it? You weren't the one who started at all." - Joel suddenly spoke into the silence, having this question on his mind for quite some time at that moment. First, you spared him a quick over-the-shoulder glance while making your way through a corroded building before you gathered some normal-sounding answer.

"Tommy went MIA because of me in the first place. Ellie is obsessed with the image of having all those people dead because of what they did to us and her choice made Dina wanting the same. You left by my side because I couldn't sleep at night. This was started by me in so many ways, Joel." - You sighed back, opening another door to the third floor. This time successfully. And as far as you could say, you could safely cross a big mass of water from this floor on some kind of a wooden structure.

"Nothin' of what you've listed ain't your damn fault." - The man huffed out while you both scanned the area for possible supplies. This place seemed to be already cleared out and infected-less, so you didn't worry about keeping your voices down too much. - "But you can't deny it all just a big fucking cycle repeating again and again. And to be honest," - You stopped to look at him with a tired expression. - "I'm just tired of that."

Joel knew exactly what you meant, so he only nodded and didn't ask further questions. It was a cycle in a way - a cycle of violence and revenge of some sort, repeating just like life itself. There will be always someone seeking revenge on other people, just like there will be people who will be trying to escape it. And putting an end to all of it? That seemed like a reasonable and mature choice. Which could bring consequences?

It wasn't too long after that when Joel caught the sleeve of your jacket, pulling you to the ground. His palm pointed your head in the direction of a dying fireplace in the middle of the room which had each window beaten out, so the air was coming in. Someone didn't leave the place recently, oh no - they were on the same floor with you. Which was terrifying, because these people didn't make a single sound the whole time. Neither of you kept your voice down, you searched through the room rather carelessly. And these people were watching you from afar, most likely, waiting for you to walk into their trap.

"We need to move now." - You instructed Joel. The man wanted to resist, but you held his palm in yours. - "We can't win in this situation. They have us outnumbered and they knew where we last were. We need to make a run for that bridge." - You motioned your head forward, reminding Joel for what you've been there. And just when Joel was about to answer, a high and long whistle sounded through the room, accompanied by at least ten other whistles.

Without a lot of thinking through, you tugged on Joel's jacket as you got on your legs and ran through the room, hearing the first arrows fly by you in the next second. By a miracle, neither you nor Joel got shot, but it was just inches between you and tips of it. The office building you were crossing through was a labyrinth and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't find any logical solution to it. To make it even worse, any of the people firing at you couldn't be seen - they were hiding in the shadows, communicating by some system based on different whistle sounds. Which terrified you. The whistles were dissolving in the number of rooms you were making your way through, so you couldn't find at least one of the persons based solely on the sound of it.

Both you and Joel hid behind a thrown over bending machine - the wooden bridge was just across a long, well-lit hall. Something was telling you that there's going to be most of them. But there was no other option. You couldn't hold positions at the moment and even if there was a long time since the last arrow flew in your direction, you were somehow sure that these people knew exactly where you were.

"Listen." - Joel turned your face at him, holding it in his palms. - "Now, you have to run. Don't look around, don't look behind, just run straight forward, 'kay? I'll be rite behind you." - The man kissed you briefly, tugging you our of your hiding spot in the direction of the bridge. His palms pushed you in front of him to put your tired body into motion. Abd it helped - even if you were out of breath, you needed to keep in motion so Joel would stay right behind you. The bridge was nearer and nearer, just like the ducking whistling. The people seemed to go over the top with it, panicking because you were almost there.

It was just when you ran to the end of the bridge when you realized something's off. It wasn't finished. It didn't lead anywhere. There was this huge mass of water under you, thanks to the rain, and a broken-down wall, where you could jump to. It was now or never situation, so you backed a few steps back, hoping Joel will see what you were after; not realizing that it would be there with you, he'd be already telling you what to do. Yet your mind didn't make that connection as you tried to hype yourself up before the jump. But just as you sprinted towards the edge, you cried out when spasm tensed your muscles up on the leg which was fucked up by Abby, making you fall down before you even made an attempt to jump.

You screamed for your dear life - you were just falling down to the water from the height of the fourth floor of one of the skyscrapers. Your palms were stretching out as you desperately tried to catch any ledge, but it was pointless. Nothing could help you now. And so you, you fell into the water with a loud splash. For a second, your body fell into a deep shock. The water was ice-cold, making your tensed and heated up muscles hurt as you regained the control over your muscles. You've fallen, but at least you crossed at least three savage-looking-like barricades you and Joel were making your way around. Something told you not to surface just yet - you swam in the water to another collapsed building on the other side of the street, climbing out in the basement.

There was no way around it - you had to cough loudly to get the water out of your lungs as you gasped for all the air you could get. First, you started to check yourself. Were you hurt? Did some arrow hit you? Did you hit a bone or broken anything? And there was a long, relieved sigh when you realized you're still doing good. But that was when it hit you at full speed. You stood up and looked around through the collapsed wall to the mass of water, upon the bridge. But you couldn't see or hear literally anyone. Where the fuck was Joel?

The panic attack took over you almost immediately. Where the fuck was he? Why didn't he jump after you? You were all alone now while the whistling people were after you. Right at the moment. The paranoia and fear made their way into your system rather quickly as you jumped at every small sound around you. He had to figure out another way out, right? He was safe for sure. He was just fine and you couldnt stay on one spot for too long. They knew you fell right into the water. It won't take them too long before finding you. Without too much thought put into it, you moved forward to take at least some stand on the situation. The only thing leading your steps were your instincts.

Now, you were on your own. Joel sure as hell was fine, you hoped so, and he knew where you were supposed to meet Ellie. He sure will appear on the meeting point, so there was no point in waiting for him. Somehow, you made your way into the first floor and except torches lighting up the place, it was pitch black. But the less your eyes saw, the more your ears heard. There was someone right in front of you, so you slowly took the knife out, listening to the pace and loudness of their footsteps, realizing where they were. And once you did, oh boy, they had it coming.

It was a woman in a brown coat, you guessed, facing away from you. She was struggling a lot, but not as much once you stabbed her abdomen before stabbing her neck open. With shaky hands, you let the hand slip to the ground, watching her face. The scars leading up from the corners of her mouth up to her earlobes was what caught your attention immediately. These were the Scars Dina told you about. These were the people who killed a patrol of WLFs in a gruesome way. No matter how stressing was that, there was no way for you to slow down for at least a bit. So you moved around in the sheer light, mostly helping yourself with listening to your surroundings, carefully touching it with your palms so you'd know where's solid wall and where's something else.

One man walked just a foot from you with his bow ready, looking for you. They knew about you, they surely did. It was impossible not to hear the warning whistles of their friends. Okay, okay, you had to get your facts straight. So, there were the Scars for sure. And they communicated by whistling. Which was amazing in a way - fucking every pinch of hope you had in many others. With a shaky breath, you closed your eyes and waited until the man crossed the few rooms you crouched through. Just when you moved forward again and saw a door opened enough for you to squeeze through, you heard another sharp whistle cutting the silence. The man found his dead friend.

As you climbed out of the building, you tried to memorize this sign at least. It surely meant that they were warning others about a dead body they had found. Quickly, you put the knife back in, thinking about where to go next. The adrenaline was really pushing you over your limits as you climbed on a trunk of an old picked up, over to the front side and jumping off, sliding on a muddy hill. When you ran for another three blocks, you finally stopped to catch some breath, leaning your back to one of the concrete buildings.

Joel wasn't there. Joel was MIA. He could be even dead. And while you knew and realized all the possibilities that could meet him on his way out of the office building, your brain didn't seem to sort them out. It still didn't seem to click inside there. Also, you didn't have any ammo or arrows, since all of them fell out of the quiver once you took the deep dive into the mass of water. And as it seemed, the hunters were now after you - you could be anyone in their eyes. They didn't care much if you were a civilian, a WLF, or a trespasser. They wanted you dead now as well. Great. The whole situation was fucking up more and more while you just watched it going downhill.

At least the map was partially intact, so you were still able to orientate around the city - or pinpoint where you were. As before, there wasn't any time for you to stop just like that. You were more or less a hunted prey at the moment, so you had to move quickly before having an arrow shot up to your ass. The paranoia didn't leave you for the slightest moment - you now knew the Scars were capable of being extremely quiet when they had to be and as a reaction for that, your ears responded to every small sound they caught. The light was starting to fade away, but because you were too afraid of using your flashlight, it was only adding up to the tension of the situation because soon, everything seemed like a person moving around.

Yet by a miracle, you made it to the edge of the park. There, you were finally calm enough to find a small place to reside for a moment, eat and drink a bit, rest up before Ellie makes her way to you. As soon as you bumped into an opened canalization shaft, you took it as a sign. This was your place to hide despite the smell and rats. You made a fire to warm yourself up without being terrified of it catching some attention since you were in an abandoned underground area, ate a can of baked beans, and drank almost all the water you had while trying to dry your jacket. It was really no surprise you drifted off right on the spot.

The kid had some cool music taste, which made you like her a lot more. She caught your eyes here and there when she was hoarding the food in her pockets, quickly pacing out of the dining room soon after each time she has done it. The girl was underweight-slim, always disappearing as if she was only an illusion hanging on the backside of your head. But there was something about her which made you smile.

Maybe she was just scared of all of you, which could be pretty reasonable when you acknowledged what happened to her. Or at least the things you've heard about the girl. Sure, most of them were pure works of fiction, but some of the stories made you scared of her too. So you decided to be the first one to break the silence, coming up to her house and befriending the scared-to-death kid. And you heard some pretty dope music from the inside when you did so. You couldn't believe how nervous you felt when you were about to knock on the door, just when she opened them up.

"Joel, what are you," - The girl grinned at you before she realized you aren't that Joel of hers. - "Oh." - She whispered and looked back at you the same way you were looking at her. For a moment, you both stood there uncomfortably, looking down on each other. She was the first one to speak.

"Hey, whatcha doing out here?" - Her voice muttered quietly and you watched as the played around with the tip of her back shoe, watching it. Her forearm was wrapped up in a piece of white cloth, her red hair was put to a messy ponytail and dear lord, she seemed to be weirded out.

"Heard the cool the music, so I came to ask who you're listening to." - You explained with a nervous giggle at the end, pointing at her radio in the corner. A white CD was put in there, rotating as the song progressed. The girl nodded with insecurity in her face, but she still stepped aside to invite you in, fetching you the CD cover. Foster the People was what the cover said. - "It's called Pumped Up Kicks. They're dope." - She nodded nervously when you read the song names on the back of it, but suddenly, she pointed her finger at you. You arched your eyebrows while slowly looking at her.

"Wanna hear a joke?" - She wondered. She'd swear that you could hear her heart beating with nerves at that point. Pumped up Kicks slowly faded into another of their songs, which you maybe liked even more. Slowly, you nodded at the proposal, still standing there since you didn't know what else you should do. - "Okay." - She chuckled and nodded, blushing slightly at those actions. - "What's golf's club favorite music genre?"

This question made you furrow with a growing smile as you shook your head unknowingly, watching the girl as she leaned her ass into the edge of her table. - "Swing."

There was an awkward silence as you tried to understand the joke - and suddenly, you started to laugh out loud so much, you had tears in your eyes. - "Dude, that's so bad!" - You whispered between the laughter, seeing the girl smiling right back at you. - "Name's Y/N, nice to meet you finally." - You offered the girl your hand, watching her approaching you with an unbelieving smile on her face. Did you want to talk to her sooner? You and your group of friends sure as hell caught her eyes before and to be honest, she was desperate to join you. All of you seemed cool and fun, around her age, but... She didn't know how to approach any of you. In her eyes, you were maybe too cool for someone weird as she was. But you came to her with an offer of friendship on your own, which was kinda dream-like for her. - "I'm Ellie. Nice to meet you too."

Ever since that day, you learned how to recognize the girl's voice and touch anywhere. So you realized it's her who's waking you up from your unplanned nap. The fire had already died out and Ellie was stinky, covered in mud, wet dust, the sewers water, and blood. Which didn't stop you from hugging her tightly, breathing out to her neck. Slowly, everything that happened had popped in your head again, making you terrified once again. - "Oh, God." - You muttered to the crook her neck, tugging her even closer.

"Focus on me. Where's Joel? Why you're alone?" - Ellie asked with worries in her eyes, palming your jaws gently. Disoriented, you looked around and tried to catch at least a slight gasp on reality before realizing what happened. - "We bumped into the Scars on our way here. We were running to the bridge, trying to get away when my fucked up leg tensed up and stopped me, so I fell into the water under. I didn't see him since then."

The nape of Ellie's neck got sticky from cold sweat as she realized what you were telling her. You and Joel separated, and you didn't know where the fuck he could be. He could be possibly dead, kidnapped, or something like that. It happened hours ago so there was no meaning in searching for the man. Which made her feeling sick from her stomach. At the same time, Ellie did know that with all the chaos she just managed to start by entering the sewers, anyone could've heard her. At the moment, there wasn't time to grief over his loss. You could do that later. - "Listen to me. It's only you and me now and we will make it outta here no matter what. We're coming for Nora, okay? It's you and me not. We're the last ones who remained on the battlefield." - She mumbled as she helped you into your jacket, packing all your stuff up. Trying to understand the meaning of her words, you nodded and sighed, pointing to the exit.

"The park's just above us. It's probably the quickest route straight to the hospital." - You instructed her and both got out of the building, seeing the dying daylight. And the coverage over the park didn't make your sight conditions better in any possible way. The only thing you could hope for was that the fucking park was empty.

Yet as soon as you heard a sharp whistle, you pushed Ellie to the ground, taking in a deep breath. You were in some knee-deep shit at the moment.

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