#tomorrows gonna be MISERABLE i cant. Wait

[origamiyoda]

GOING TO BED AT 9:30 ON A SUNDAY NIGHT AFTER GETTING LITERALLY NOTHING DONE TODAY🙌🙌🙌

[phagodyke]

aouuugh my uterus......

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[hecksupremechips]

Idk how to even talk to anyone anymore when it’s just the same thing in a loop over and over

[pinkseas]

i cant start writing this until im done with the big wip i wont allow myself but.

isat au where after a late-game loop involving all the friend quests, All Of The Others start looping. siffrin dies late in the house, and they all remember it, but they Don't Initially Realize that siffrin has been looping. they think this is just as new for siffrin as it is for them, and that siffrin is only so scared and disoriented and confused because this began when they died, of course they're gonna be out of it.

siffrin using that death as an excuse over and over again in the next few loops. they've already died- they don't want any of the others to feel or experience that, they don't want anyone but themselves to get hurt. when they throw themselves in front of sadnesses or the king, the time they shout for someone to cover bonnie's eyes and then, hands shaking, scared but so determined, carve through their own throat.

the others are in so much more danger, now. and they'll remember what happens. they don't care about the script, they wander they explore they endanger themselves and siffrin can't tell them he knows, he can't, they just. have to try and protect everyone. have to try so, so hard to keep being the only one who remembers how it feels to die.

shaking as they kill themselves. not afraid of the pain, or dying, but petrified of the other's reactions. trying so hard to downplay their strength, to act Normal. or at least, as normal as they're supposed to be at the Beginning of a time loop. as normal as they're supposed to be after killing themselves to save one of their family members. saying they only really guessed that doing that would work to loop back. voice small, shaking, saying that they're really glad it did.

siffrin is not the best actor. too many things begin to add up. sif never, ever leaves any of them alone while they're in the house, but sometimes in dormont they find excuses to meet up and talk about things without him there. at first it's worry for how much they're hurting themselves, then concern for how easily, and then.

in hindsight siffrin wasn't necessarily suspicious, that very first loop, but certain things felt virtually effortless. like a slight attempt to make it seem natural was made solely so they wouldn't question it in the moment, but siffrin didn't realize there were any stakes. didn't know that anyone else would remember long enough to matter. and something is so, so clearly wrong.

odile one night at the clocktower finally, finally asking siffrin: how long? siffrin, caught completely off-guard, how long what? odile, not hesitating, how long have you been looping? the party probably hasn't even reached double digits. siffrin blinks. odile waits. and then, siffrin bolts.

the frantic search to find them. them looping back various degrees at random times, sometimes to the beginning and sometimes not, siffrin nowhere in sight for so, so long. it's terrifying. haunting. how long was siffrin alone? how long did they experience this for? they're family, they're supposed to be family, but they can't track siffrin down. all of the others together, terrified, borderline inconsolable, when odile raises a blade to her own throat, threatens to nothing and no one that she'll die. she'll die, and she'll come back. she'll know how it feels.

the way siffrin lashes out when they do finally show themselves, then. their fear their terror their frantic, desperate need to make sure nobody gets hurt but themselves. an argument that spirals and spirals until siffrin breaks: i'm tired. i'm tired. and they really do look exhausted. voice hoarse, pathetic, miserable, can we talk about this more tomorrow? please?

the others letting up. siffrin all but collapsing into bed, "falling asleep" almost immediately. they really are exhausted. how long has it been? the others talking for a while, no real important thoughts, no conclusions reached. falling into uneasy sleep.

waking with the sun. siffrin and the orbs are gone.

siffrin who has been consistently losing their fucking mind because they have to sneak away, now, even just to talk to loop, which is coincidentally when their family talks about them. because suddenly every single little thing they say and do matters, they don't remember what they are and aren't supposed to know right now and every time they slip up and forget or remember something they shouldn't, the others will see. they need, need, need to act natural but they don't know how.

feeling absolutely fucking disgusted every time someone tries to comfort them over their deaths because stars they do not deserve it, don't deserve the love the others feel for them solely because siffrin has been here long enough that they successfully not only manipulated everyone into liking them but also trapped them with him.

he didn't want to be alone. they don't. but they can not let any of the others shoulder this. they have to find a solution. they have to figure out what they can do they cannot let the others be hurt they can't they can't they can't. siffrin can be crushed or snapped or frozen or butchered, can be slaughtered in every way even by their own hands but they cannot let their family do the same. no matter what.

[scarletwritesshit]

Yosuke Hanamura x F!Reader ❀ Town of Blossoms ❀ June 20th, 2013

A Thursday night in the middle of the week…Yosuke was still lying awake on his phone, despite having to go to work the next day. You only knew that this was the case because you too, were laying wide awake at such an hour. Despite not having the same obligations as him the following morning, you were still ultimately, no better than he was. In a way, despite the decision to stay up being of your own will, he still held a part of the blame for your wakefulness.

It was apparent that over the past few days, something has been weighing quite heavily on Yosuke’s mind. Did you have a clear answer as to what that something was yet? Unfortunately, no. The only hints that you had was the occasional side comment made in the midst of a conversation.

From what you could gather, it was something about friends and abandonment issues and other stuff of that sort. No big deal, he would always claim, but it often times lead to some late-night conversations. Tonight was no exception. Things started off as nothing more than a quick chat before bed. That “quick chat” had been going on for about two hours.

Tiredness was beginning to overtake you, but you didn’t want to abruptly ditch him in the middle of a conversation. Every time there was more than a few minutes in between responses, you’d think that maybe, he at long last, fell asleep. And so, you would allow yourself to slowly drift to sleep yourself, until you were somewhat woken up by the ringtone going off alerting you of a reply. The cycle would repeat; back and forth between two considerably tired people who simply could not bear to leave the other hanging.

You wondered if he even understood half of the nonsense manifested from your fingers. An exhausted person was in no position to provide any form of solid, logical advice, but you were trying your best regardless. Any person in their right mind would opt to wait until the morning or afternoon to resolve any sort of problems, aided with a clearer mind.

But you two were best friends. Logic got completely thrown out the window.

Don’t you have work tomorrow? you texted back.

You truthfully didn’t want to stop talking to him. Even if it were only for the night, it was the last thing that you wanted to happen. More importantly, however, you didn’t want him to fall ill from sleep deprivation, and were more than willing to sacrifice a few minutes of talk if it meant for the sake of his wellbeing.

yeah but i cant sleep anyways so it doesnt matter

Staring at your phone doesn’t help.

Like you were one to talk. Staring at your phone had no advantages for you either.

neither does blankly staring at my wall

Trying to sleep would be better for you regardless

but i dont wanna stop talking to you

too much on my mind

wayyy too much on my mind

Like what

Is it the stuff that’s been bothering you all week

This could be a prime chance for you to weasel an answer as to what was bringing him down so badly. Perhaps it was just a little wrong to use his tiredness to your advantage to try and figure out what has been bothering Yosuke. In all fairness, he did bring the topic up himself first. And you were sort of at a loss as to how to help him.

eh

longer than this week tbh

Longer? Did something else happen

no its the same stuff i guess

You guess?

mhm

idk how to tell you man

but ive just been worried that youll leave like everyone else

same nonsense

I have no intention of leaving. I promise.

But did something bring this up?

its nothing

im just really tired i guess

Can’t be nothing if you’re still awake over it

But please get some rest. At least for tonight.

You’re gonna be exhausted and miserable tomorrow if you don’t

You turned the screen of your phone off and laid it on your chest. It was late into the month of June. For Yosuke, this was the season of his birthday. It was a time where you would expect him to be happy, overjoyed even. Ironically enough, it could have been the one thing that was bringing him down after all.

The more that you thought about it, the more that it seemed like a logical explanation.

It was supposed to be a time of bringing together all of his friends to celebrate himself.

What friends, though?

Almost the entirety of your group had long since parted ways completely as Inaba calmed down and time marched on. It was of no fault of one or another, as fate had long since planned different paths for each of his friends to tread. Time and again, he would claim to be fine, but it was apparent that the loneliness was getting to him hard.

He wasn’t actually "used to it." Without a doubt, Yosuke was hurting deeply inside. As good as the intentions in your heart might have been, it wasn’t something that could be amended overnight, or even at all. Regardless, there was no way that you were going to give up on him. Somehow, you had to convince him that even though everyone else had broken contact, you had no plans of doing such yourself.

You checked your phone one last time. No response. You could only hope that he ultimately decided to give it a rest and fall asleep, or that the tiredness finally overcame him. At least tomorrow was Friday, but that was still another day of working that Yosuke had to survive. Oh so close to the weekend, yet just barely out of reach…

There was one remaining option for you to lift his spirits just in time for the weekend, and even beyond that. An opportunity that you have been silently chasing for so long may be closer than you thought. No more of this “waiting for the right moment.” For the sake of you both, one of you was going to have to take the first step forward. And if Yosuke seemingly had no plans to do it, nobody else but you could take the initiative.

You put your phone aside on the nightstand and stared blankly at the ceiling in the dark as you carefully sorted through your thoughts. No, caution was what caused such a delay in the first place. The longest you were willing to wait now would be until after he was free from the grips of Junes.

In a sea of pink blossoms, understand those before you and flourish as the purple as you are. It was as clear as day what action you needed to take. Show him that you would never leave him, and that you meant it.

Content with your plan of action, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to, at long last, drift off to sleep.

[muirneach]

my semester ends at the end of this month so as soon as i go back tomorrow we start finals season. not ideal. but im actually really really sad that the semester is almost over because for the first time in so many years ive been really excited to be at school because of my woodshop class. like yes ive been more miserable than ever (arguably) yes i have zero friends and yes god i hate my english class so much and i cant wait to leave it behind. but… what am i gonna do without shop? truthfully its my only class where i feel a semblance of belonging and a inkling of friendship with most of the people in it because its a very small class. and i love my teacher. and its like directly related to everything i love because its got agriculture and forestry and aquaculture etc etc. man :( but next semester is my last semester of high school ever!! which is so excitingggg. i keep telling myself next semester will rule specifically because i get to take a sewing and pattern drafting college course which i AM pumped about 🙏

[ace-apple]

I need more context... why are they going to superhell.... who's they...........

(I have barely been into MCRP but it's so fuckin neat to me when others do it)

"they" being the entire qsmp server. like actually all of them. biggest lore event so far. as to why? we have no fucking clue but we know it has something to do with their missing egg children cuz they keep sending vague calls for help on the official twitter accounts (theres multiple cuz its a multilingual server, so theres accts for every language)

its technically calling itself "purgatory", not superhell or hell at all, but everyones calling it superhell cuz its funny.

the anticipation and adrenaline is gonna give me an anxiety attack tonight and tomorrow and its gonna be great. im gonna be so miserable at work i genuinely cant wait

[dumbbitchfrommars]

im trying so hard, my very hardest, to be kind and sweet and lovely and nice. but im afraid itll never be truly possible - theres a hidden dark side to me, because im so harsh and cruel and hard on myself. it slips out in hidden ways. those comments that spark a sense of alarm in others. that sudden red flag that you dont react or respond to in the moment, just file away as a reminder to never truly trust me, love me, respect me, feel safe around me...

is it true? or is it an idea?

im afraid i cant trust anyone.

but if i trust myself, will that matter?

its jarring, when the tower of love you have for a person comes crashing down after one dirty act. the darkness... the darkness that im supposed to accept is inherently a part of us all. it scares me. it hurt me.

im heartbroken because i feel like this relationship was doomed to end from the beginning. and that was my own doing, because i have such a warped idea of relationships and love. because i have lingering feelings for people that dont matter. because im so afraid of repeating the same mistakes that im more willing to sabotage it all before i get a chance to try something different. because i cant let go of superficial things that ive gotten used to. because i cant set boundaries. because im being fucking stupid.

im definitely pmsing. lets just take these big emotions with a grain of salt.

what happened to being in a goofy mood?

im irritable.

i just want to be happy with him. i dont want to ruin it by travelling and being separated and one of us cheating on the other. i dont want this to end within a year. i want to be happy. i deserve happiness. ive waited a long time for someone to treat me how i deserve. will he treat me how i deserve? he will try, and thats all i can ask for. he actually makes me feel safe and comfortable to be authentically myself. he gives me the space to just be. to feel my confusing emotions.

but why do they both feel so manipulative? is this my own wound? my own lack of boundaries and knowing what it is i really want? because i keep finding myself fearing the powerful people i attract into my life for the same reason i fell in love with them in the first place - that they can tell me what to do, that they can help me figure out what i want. but at what point does that turn into them deciding what i want for me? thinking they know what i want? ugh.

im confused. im tired. im drained. im overwhelmed. im sad. im missing something that doesnt exist - a feeling - nostalgia - the feeling of love and being loved and being heartbroken and in love and completely miserable.

i hate to admit it, but this whole time i keep on thinking back to the time i was with my ex. it was so different. i was so much freer and happier. i was so different. it was a different time! i always thought i could find something or someone like that, to emulate that feeling again. but its just not possible. its weird. like no one else will ever understand but him, because no one else was there. and i wish i could talk about it or explain it but its impossible to understand.

i want to fall. i want to feel okay to just fall and let him catch me and lead the way. but im so scared, i feel like its gonna end, i feel like im gonna get hurt, im gonna regret being so vulnerable, im gonna find something out and wish id been smarter and seen through his bullshit. but he hasnt done anything. but thats the biggest red flag of them all. why are you so perfect? who are you, really? why am i still so afraid and uncomfortable? is it me?

yet, i still miss him. i still text him. i still want to see him tomorrow. i dont tell him to refund the festival tickets he got us. i smile when he tells me about his day and his games and his affirming words calling me princess and telling me hes proud of me. hes so stable. what if he gets sick of me? my constant bad moods? my dark feelings? you cant have the sun without shade.

darkness can only exist in the shadow of light.

[deathissolastyear]

break up day 2:

i woke up nauseous again. i confronted a friend who sent me flowers yesterday as a distraction and it actually helped a lot. still struggling with eating. i had a probiotic drink today but was unable to eat anything until alicia came over at like 12.30 and we got lou’s. i had a slice but wanted to stop, made myself eat two but couldnt keep eating cause i felt so bad and so sick.

talking with alicia helped a lot. i have cpr training today and i really didnt want to go but im going right now. it feels weird to be out in the world. i feel like an open wound. but things need to be done. i also finally took a shower today and also did make up to go to training. so im feeling more like a person. i might go to courts after the class depending on how i feel. it would be like 9pm but i also dont work tomorrow so it might be okay.

i finally set up a therapy appt for thursday. i cannot wait because by god i really need it.

he hasnt rementioned talking and getting back together since he brought it up first. a part of me feels bad, i want him to. i want him to want to get back together. he sounds so nonchalant in his interactions with me. i cant pick up on any emotion and it kind of sucks. i wanna fall back into this so bad because i want it to stop hurting. but also i know there’s no way out. im gonna end up miserable anyway. its better to stop before i tie them to other things i love.

long story short is it sucks. but im trying. i called my grandmother today. and even cleaned up a bit. im trying.

at least im trying

[forestryfae]

one really fun thing about having a mom and a dad like mine is that i literally cant enjoy anything if it isnt neccessary and i have to keep reminding myself that it doesnt have to be useful or a neccessity to be ok to have and that just because i CAN go without something for a while doesnt mean i should have to

like. okay maybe i CAN go the whole day without eating, or i CAN go the whole day with only one meal. but i dont HAVE to and im not lazy and fat for getting dinner even if i "havent done" anything that day. i dont have to do a million chores that day just to be justified in eating. i dont need to be completely out of pants or tshirts or socks or underwear or whatever to justify wanting a couple extra pairs of socks so i dont run out so quick, or simply not enjoying some of my clothes cus theyre uncomfortable to wear. i shouldnt have to justify that, it is what it is and i shouldnt have to feel like i NEED someone to tell me its ok for me to buy extra socks or more tshirts or whatever. and they dont HAVE to be uncomfortable or pretty. they can just be comfortable and i can just enjoy wearing them.

similarly i shouldnt have to justify having fucking needs and emotions. i simply hate living in my house, thats just somethign that is, and it makes sense, i shouldnt need to literally beg people to justify it for me cus i dont feel that what im saying is good enough. i shouldnt have to feel embarrassed and like i have to overexplain why i hate the house and why its miserable living in there. yes it "technically" has a kitchen that works and a bathroom that works and ive got a bedroom and livingroom and washingmachine, so it "should tcehnically" be fine but it isnt. its fucking old, theres a piece of the wall where the insides are missing, cold air is leaking in in more than one place, the bathroom fucking sucks and the kitchen is gross, its lonely, the backyard is a mess, the garage is literally too dangerous to be inside due to shit engineering and a big fucking cement block in the roof, and its gonna cost me more to fic all of it than i can ever afford, plus its in the middle of fucking nowhere and i have to take the train to get to the nearest city just to buy groceries and i cant go in the summer at all. i shouldnt have to indirectly beg people to validate me when i try to justify why i dont like living there. just because mom and dad doesnt fucking care when i say i hate it there

i shouldnt have to justify or explain why something upsets me eitehr, it upsets me and that should be it. i should be allowed to be upset. i should be allowed to say i dont want to be treated a certain way and immediately being yelled at and told im not that special and i should get off my high horse and have literally every tiny thing ive ever done be thrown in my face to justify why i dont deserve to be treated nicely.

also similarly, i should be allowed to just. like things. just because i like them. instead of trying to force myself to like stuff i feel like i "should" like or i want to want to like. instead of thinking "i dont need that" because thats what my shit mom keeps telling me any time i even look at something nice. i cant even point at a nice dress and say "i like the pattern" without hearing my little sister or brother parrot it back to me cus they learned it from mom. also, just because i CAN go a whole day without eating and be fine, just like i did involuntarily due to shitty parenting, doesnt mean i should have to. i can just eat when im hungry instead of continuously telling myself at 10 am that dinners at 3 and i can wait. generally after 4 hours i can eat a second meal of the day, its fine, i dont need to be literally starving to be able to eat something. i dont need to justify not showering with "ill shower tomorrow morning cus work or whatever" no shut up i want a shower now and i need a shower now and its the only thing i can think of so lets shower now. its fine. literally doesnt hurt to shower just because i want to. doesnt hurt to eat just cus im hungry or i want to. its fine if i wanna do laundry even if its late in the day and its fine if i wanna skip an activity cus im tired or sad. idk why exactly im like this but i feel like my mom and dad constantly belittling me or brushing me off or just straight up ignoring me and not bothering to do their job as a parent cus "i should just do it myself" and "well why didnt you just eat a sandwich for dinner" and "well why didnt you just do this differently" for every little thing plus me not being allowed to want attention or need anything cus i "already have" something else or im "nagging" them might have something to do with it

"why didnt you just do this" well for starters i was scared to cut my own nails until i was like 11 or 12 or something cus i thought mom or dad was gonna scream at me at the top of their lungs and curse me out for doing something wrong. i wasnt allowed to do SHIT and i was never told when those limitations and rules didnt count anymore. there was no "youre old enough to cut your own nails just be careful" for literally anything. there was just screaming because i wasnt allowed to do something OR there was "you have to do this now" literally overnight with NO prior warning or explanation. i had to start going to school and waking up on my own overnight cus dad just told me the day before school after summer vacation that i had to. like. my brother way 6, i was 9 and id never done any of it alone, i wasnt even allowed to cut bread on my own, and if we didnt manage to do it on our own we had to call him and get screamed and cursed at for the whole ride to school cus he was "going to get fired" and "going to jail" and we were "helpless" and shit. like okay thanks for that, YOU raised me to be scared of doing literally anything on my own and never taught me anything, he literally treated me like i just knew everything he knew. wtf was i supposed to do.

anyways shoutout to my parents for making me scared of fuckign liking or wanting stuff. or even trying stuff. i see people who willingly buy shit just because they wanted it and not because they needed it just for fun and it drives me up the fucking wall. other people can just. buy stuff. and they dont need to justify it, they can just want it. meanwhile i have the most deranged way or approaching how to decide if i want to buy something or not and its so fucking unhealthy and i dont know why i do it, i just do and its part of why i hate shopping with other people, i like the peace of just quietly shopping on my own and working on it, instead of trying to get second opinions from people or feeling like i Have To Buy Something cus thats how quality time w my grandparents and cousin was like when i was a kid aunt uncle and cousin visit grandparents for the weekend, dad and us come along to visit and hang out, we spend a large amount of the time either shopping for new clothes or toys or candy, quality time w family then quickly becomes Shopping Is Love, dad doesnt give a shit about me but will buy me a soda after ive been talking to my therapist at 13, now giving people stuff and money is how youre supposed to show people you care. fucking deranged

in other words, i am not a bad person for struggling, im also not a shitty awful person for not being good at money, and im not a bad person for wanting to sell the majority of my furniture and other shit so ill have less to worry about and ill have less shit i dont use or want or need. im not a bad person for wanting to have some order in my life.

but yeah im also not a bad person for wanting stuff or wanting to actually enjoy my sorroundings and how life works for me and so on

[tloaftyob]

3-22-2023

Well, I am in a similar situation as last post. I had an exam yesterday, got a 105 on it. I have an exam tomorrow. And another the next day. Then SPRING BREAK! Tomorrow Ellie and I are going to an open house of a wedding venue that we are probably going to go with.

Since my last post it got warmer, then fucking cold, and now it is seeming to be warming up again. Leg day was on Monday, my legs are fucked. I worked my groin too hard heh.

We are going to the bars again on Friday. It’s gonna be a good way to start spring break. I cant wait to live with Ellie. Her brother is moving out of the apartment! I am so happy that it will be just her and I a year earlier than planned. It’s well deserved after 7 years.

I hope my exams go well. I’m a dumb ass who stays up late when he has to wake up early. Ellie spent the night last night because of her class this afternoon, so we woke up, hit snooze, got up for real, got breakfast, then I went to class and she stayed at the dining hall to work on some stuff. I did class and another, then got lunch. After that I went home, did some homework, then picked her up from her class and got dropped off for lab. Lab was quick. I got out an hour and fifteen minutes early. I worked on more homework between lab and class. Then I worked on homework during class (we went over the exam I got a 105 on, I don’t need to pay attention). Then I walked home. I did more homework, then went and ate, did more homework. I was having trouble, so I emailed the professor, and it turned out I was majorly overthinking it. So I got that “done” (done enough to make it look like I tried, I have a 100 in that class right now so I’m not too worried). Then I did some modular synthin, say around my room missing Ellie, then I went to bed, and here I am. I am miserable without her. 51, now 50, days until I am graduated. Then I will be with her every day.

There’s probably some stuff I missed, but that’s about it and I should sleep. GOODNIGHT TUMBLR!

[harryfeatgaga]

saw some dude on some tik tok live shitting on harry and was talking about how he was going to film a fashion video tomorrow meanwhile the dude looks like he got lost in a kohl’s clearance section….let’s not speak on what we don’t know ❤️

LMFAOOOO BYE

Anonymous asked: Ben Affleck looked so miserable you could tell he and Jlo fought before the Grammys there’s a video of her scolding him and then laugh when she see the camera on them

HELPPKFJNUIK!??!?!?!

Anonymous asked: saw some tweet that was like “i’m just gonna look up harry’s racist tweets” as if that man didn’t only tweet song lyrics for years I just know whoever tweeted that hasn’t seen sunlight in days

literally bye good luck all ur gonna find is song lyrics

Anonymous asked: WAIT I LOVE HARRY LIKE IM HERE AS A HARRIE BUT IM ALSO HERE AS A DARKSKIN WOMAN SO "beyoncé’s fans are so fucking mean" AND BLAMING HER FOR STAYING SILENT IS NOT A COOL THING TO SAY. i'm saying this with kindness, but have y'all met harries. do y'all know HARRY? love him but when has he ever defended anyone his fans have come for? & as a white man it *IS* easier for him to speak up than it is for bey. all fandoms suck. lets not bring down a black woman lets just be happy for harry. thank you.

Anonymous asked: my last ask might be confusing sorry im responding to the anon talking about how beyonce doesn't do anything to stop hate and that somehow her rude fans means she is just as bad too. was not calling anyone racist in particular but i've just seen that sentiment a lot today and its made celebrating harry hard because it feels personal. idk why people can't ever celebrate harry without putting others down. beyonce was smiling and happy for him in the crowd

no yeah I dont think anon was blaming her I know I certainly wasnt but yeah it applies to all fandoms but hers are quite notorious for being....mean fbhcj she has a lot of male fans as well and men are just nasty so hfbhucjik as many other fanoms are aka swifties, bts and yes harries can be too absolutelyyyyy but yeah beyonce was literally happy for him people need to relax

Anonymous asked: ill get everyone trying to spread a false narrative adele did not leave everyone was happy for him and if people r mad about ben winston being a producer why do they not care about beyonces dad being a voting member of the academy and campaigning for her like first 20 grammys apparently

like as if ben has any actual say in the grammy winners themselves he just produces the show that is airing like

Anonymous asked: I just woke up and omfg the hate??? Ridiculous I feel like I need to cleanse my eyes. I can’t wait until Harry is out of the country so these uncultureds can leave him alone 😭😭😭

still havent seen too much and im glad so pls yall dont send it I really dont wanna see it lmao

Anonymous asked: I never thought I’d be telling her to gtfo of America like I need these people to leave him alone!!! Cant wait for him to shine at Brit’s and see no one pissed about it 😭😭

brits sweep incoming!!!

Anonymous asked: Fandoms hate Harry but their idols sure don’t

LITERALLY

Anonymous asked: i’m sorry but i’m still mad. does b deserve a grammy? yes. were a great majority of people dragging and not streaming renaissance at all? yes. if we’re going to war on somebody’s behalf, it should be uvst by bb because it objectively was the most streamed album of last year, but i fear twitter wouldn’t have liked that either bc a lot of twitter is still xenophobic as hell and refuse to listen to spanish music and it would’ve devolved into a conversation about “why didn’t they give bb the latin grammys instead?”, which would have been xenophobic too but in a lowkey “progressive” way so i’m glad harry won bc i really don’t think a b win would’ve really been appreciated by twitter at all anyway bc it would still be about how they dislike the album or its genre or whatever billion ways they’ve tried to drag renaissance this past year when it’s literally always been a gorgeous album that you should have been appreciating from the get-go but now want to pretend like you’ve always loved it bc you love to be victims and somehow snubbing an album that twitter didn’t like just bc you like the artist and they are deserving of a grammy in general is a ridiculous hill to try to die on when i truly think b wouldn’t have liked to win an album for something that wasn’t well-received either 🫠

im shocked I didnt know her fans didnt really like the album but yeah she deserved it bad after lemonade like we all been knowing the grammys are fucked up im.very happy for harry and all hs peers there last night including beyoce looked happy for him 🫶🏻

Anonymous asked: So many famous people or you know social media known people made memes out of Harry saying “stuff like this don’t happen to people like me” and literally almost all of them took it down within minutes lmao idk why but either is the power of harries, the power of Jeff or the power of Harry, they should all shut up and let him have his moment! Especially when they do nothing with their sad miserable life pretending to be famous because of Instagram, try getting a real fucking job!

GOODBYEEEEEEE

Anonymous asked:

the grammys were never gonna give aoty to something like renaissance🤷🏼‍♀️ i. can tell you the grammys hates giving awards to albums with that many producers and they loveeeee when there’s a smaller number of producers and writers( they’re weird)🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ with it fitting into a sort of niche the grammys (sadly) are not up to recognizing something that was made for the black queer community i think renaissance deserved the award the most tbh but what beyonce fans don’t understand is that there’s 10 albums in the category…. and most of them deserve to be there (coldplay and abba nope but anyways) and you can’t blame harry because he deserved the award as well you have to blame the grammys😭 because the truth is this year was a solid category and she should’ve won album of the year long ago for her self titled AND lemonade😭 and now they’re trying to find a way to blame him by tearing everything he’s said apart😭 because now people are expecting him to act as if he didn’t deserve the award??? when he completely did??? and beyonce she just sits there and cheers and she genuinely looks happy for everyone who wins and she’s not about what some of her fans are about😭😭😭

IM JUST SO TIREDDDDDDDDD THE AOTY WAS STACKEDDD EXACTLY LIKE YOU SAID FULL OF GOOD ALBUMS LIKE GOD

Anonymous asked: I’ve seen harries be equally as nasty when Harry looses things so I think everyone needs to realize that this stuff is not worth being a horrible person over because even though it’s online it still hurts. I hope a lot of harries will remember this feeling and not be so horrible to other artists so we can stop the hate circle

so true!!!

[the-acid-pear]

Okay no but y'all fr look at my girl rn she's looking so fucking good I'm going crazy I'm so happy she's so pretty

[healingheartdogs]

Only three hours of sleep for both me and Selene in the last two days because we were both in ADHD panic mode for packing and stayed up all night. We both haven't eaten either. And we're still not done RIP. We're going to have to finish moving things into the pod and hauling junk to the dump tomorrow but for now we're going to just... crash. Hard. Maybe cry a little too lol.

[footygirl114]

Ruin the Friendship (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

This one was fun to write, Its easy to avoid actual work when I can get lost in these worlds. Hope y'all enjoy :)

Losing sucks, but losing the NWSL Championship because of an own goal that you deflected into your own net sucks even worse. In the injury time your Portland Thorns were tied with the North Carolina Courage 1-1 it was a brutal game and you were just trying to grind it out until the whistle so the team could regroup for the extra time. On a wayward back pass the Courage went on a break towards your net, you tracked back to watch Debinha who was sprinting ready for a cross. The cross came in and you knew if you didn’t clear it Debinha would have a clear chance on goal, you stretched but misjudged the ball and it deflected off your shin right into the opposite corner of the net away from your keeper. 

You couldn’t believe you just cost your team the championship. You were gutted but had to regroup to play the final minutes. It was less than a minute later when the final whistle went, you fell to your knees and tried to hold it together. You couldn’t bear to see the disappointed looks you knew your teammates had on their faces. 

Avoiding any teammates you made the rounds and congratulated the other team and then left the field as soon as possible. You ducked into the change room to grab your phone and then walked away to find a hidden corner so you could call the one person who would understand. 

As soon as you called she picked up right away and you knew she watched the game and was waiting for the call “Y/N! It wasn’t your fault, you had to get a touch on that ball or else it would have been a for sure goal. She wouldn’t have missed from there” 

Just knowing that the Best women’s footballer in the world, the Ballon D’Or winner, and your best friend since you were kids had your back was enough to finally break down and let the tears out. 

You and Alexia had been friends since you were 10 years old, you were the best of friends no matter the distance. Your was a single dad in the military and moved you and him to Barcelona when you were 10. You started school and couldn’t understand the language but this feisty girl stepped right in and defended you anytime anyone would try to bully you. Alexia never let anyone put you down for not knowing the language, and she is the reason you made it through school and learned Spanish. 

Even when you decided to move back to the states for school and later signed with Portland while she stayed in Barcelona your friendship never wavered. Late night phone calls for you or early morning ones for her, you both were each others rocks through hard times. When she lost in the Champions league final you were the only one who was able to get through to her, even though you 1000s of kilometres away. You were her biggest cheerleader through the world cup, although you played in the NWSL you never got a chance to play for the USA team so you didn’t even feel bad when you cheered for Spain the whole way through. 

You have both been there through the hardest parts of your professional lives, but also your personal ones. When your dad passed away when you were in your 3rd year of Uni, Alexia didn’t hesitate to get on a plane and be there for you, she was your rock during that time and was the only reason you didn’t fail out of uni. To say you both had been there for each other was an understatement, you never failed to talk with her at least once every few days. 

You knew deep down that it was not your fault, but having a footballer the caliber of Alexia say these things about you, you knew it was true. 

“Hey Y/N, listen to me. You get to wallow tonight and be miserable that your team lost, but you do not get to blame your self. Then tomorrow you are gonna pack and get on the 9pm flight to Barcelona, so that in just over 30 hours you will be here and I will be able to give you the biggest hug to cheer you up” she tells you. 

You took a deep breath to calm your tears and responded “I cant wait for one of your magical bear hugs.”

“Let me know once you booked your flight, but go and be with your team. Trust me, they do not blame you, you saved their asses multiple times today to keep the game as close as it was” She tells you. 

“Gracias, you are the best, and I cannot wait to see you” You tell her and get ready to face your team. 

“See you soon mi amor” Alexia tells you as she hangs up. 

You know that she only means that in the way that Spaniards act to their friends, but you cannot help to imagine if she meant it in the way you wanted her to. You had been in love with your best friend since you were 16 and you knew that the feelings were love and not friendship. Alexia never knew, but part of the reason you decided to move back to the states was to distance your self from ruining your friendship. When you both had come out, it became too hard to watch her with other women. You moved to the states hoping distance would help, it never did. 

***

Almost 2 days later you were stepping off a plane in Barcelona. With your season ended, and Alexia being in the thick of hers you knew you could stay and be a fan for awhile. You walked out of the airport after collecting your bags and you can see Alexia standing there with a sign saying “Portland Thorns Best Player” and the biggest smile on her face. You cant help but jump into her arms for one of her bear hugs. 

You buried your face in her neck to try and hide the tears, and are comforted by her familiar smell. “Ive missed your hugs” you say into her neck. 

She pulls back slightly with a smirk “You only missed my hugs? not me too?” 

You blush at this and punch her in the shoulder, finally breaking contact with her before you do something silly like kiss her. “Yes smartass, I only came for that hug and now I’m heading off”

She grabs your bags and starts walking towards the exit, she realises you are not following and she turns to you and says “Lies, come on let's go, we have places to be!”

As you watch her walk away you remember why its so hard to be around her in person. You just have to hope that you can keep your feelings locked up and not let anything slip. 

****

The first place she takes you is to her moms house. When you were younger you spent a lot of time here with her family, her mom always treated you like another daughter. Alexia’s mom welcomes you with the biggest hug and you feel like you are back home again. Alba was also like a sister to you and seeing her reminds you why you missed Spain so much. 

“So Y/N” Alba starts on you “are you moving back yet, or are you just here to visit?”

“Well why would I want to move back and have to see you more often?” You tell her, she was always the little sister you never had and you loved to tease her. 

“You wound me, we all know you came back to see me and not Alexia. She gets enough attentions from literally everyone else” Alba rolls her eyes, you cant help but laugh at the offended look on Alexia’s face. 

“Girls enough, Alexia come help me in the kitchen” Alexia’s mom demands of her. Alexia heads to the kitchen and leave you and Alba on the couch. 

Alba leans into you and says in a low voice “so are you here to finally tell Alexia that you are in love with her?”

You blush and turn to her and whisper “what? no! Im not in love with her” Alba gives you a look and you slightly panic “Am I that obvious? does she know?”

Alba grabs your hand and tries to calm you “No she’s oblivious, I have known you as long as Ale has and I can tell. You look at her differently. I figured that is why you decided to leave and then stay in the states. I know you had offers from teams in Europe”

You had no idea she knew any of this “Im sorry, its just so hard sometimes to be around her. I do not want to ruin our friendship. Plus she’s dating Jenni and I am not willing to ruin someones relationship”

“She didn’t tell you?” Alba asks you. 

At this Alexia walks back into the room and says “Who didn’t tell Y/N what?” 

“Nothing, just Alba trying to wind me up for no reason” you respond, but you know that she doesn’t buy it. It's then that Alexia’s mom comes in and calls you all in for dinner.

***

Later that night you are back at Alexia’s place getting ready for bed, she has a spare room that you are staying in for your time visiting. You hear a knock on your door and Alexia pokes her head in and says “Just so you know, I will be out of here early tomorrow morning. Going to meet Jenni for coffee before our training session. I’ll be back in the afternoon at some point if you want to do some exploring?” 

“Alright, I'll probably try to sleep off some of this jet lag anyway” you tell her. “Goodnight, Ill see you tomorrow at some point” 

Alexia bids you goodnight and leaves and softly closes the door. You cant help but feel your heart crack a bit at the knowledge that you will never be the one who gets Alexia like that. You decide then that you are going to suck it up and just be there for Alexia in anyway she lets you. You would rather have your best friend in your life than not at all. 

***

Over the course of the next few days you get comfortable in your new dynamic, you know that Alexia notices you acting different. She keeps chalking it up to jet lag. You go to the next home game and get to watch the team up close in action. You have always been amazed by Alexia and how she plays, but you cant help but think she’s levelled up and is so much better than she was last time you watched her. 

After the game Alexia brings you down to see the team, you knew quite a few of them from your Barca Academy days and are happy to catch up with them. They all invite you to come out to the club tonight to celebrate their victory. They all head in to shower and you are left in a lounge room waiting. 

“Y/N Y/LN?” you hear from behind you, as you turn you realise it is the Barcelona coach and owner looking for you. 

You stand up and go to shake their hands, after all the introductions the owner says “We have been watching you since you played in our academy. Now this isn’t news but one of our full backs will be leaving during the winter break, and if you are willing we want to sign you as soon as the trade window opens.”

You are shocked you don’t even know what to say. The coach speaks up next “I used to be on the academy staff when you were there and I always knew you would be a brilliant player one day, I think your talents are wasted in the USA and we want to grow you into your full potential here”

“We know this is a lot to take in, but we knew you were here and wanted to speak to you before your agent does. He has an offer from us and will be reaching out to you with it. Please think on it and let us know what you decide.” The owner tells you.

The both head out and you are left staring into space. That’s how Alexia finds you, “Y/N? are you okay? what happened?” she comes right up to you and put her hands on your cheeks to look into your eyes. 

“nothing, just thinking about stuff” you tell her as you pull away. You cant stand the hurt look on her face so you say “Your teams waiting lets go party? Ill tell you about it later”

***

It's later at the club when the truth finally comes out. You were hanging with the players you knew from your academy days when you can hear arguing and see Alexia and Jenni in a heated discussion. 

“Do we know if they are finally done with this silly on and off relationship yet?” Asks Mapi. 

Leila replies “Nah, Jenni told me that they’ve never been in a relationship, more just friends with benefits. Apprently Alexia always withdraws when things get serious, Jenni thinks there is someone else” 

At this they look over to you “What? She never mentioned anything to me” 

“Last I heard was that Jenni wanted more and told Alexia she had to decide what she wanted. Alexia told her she couldn’t and then they were done” Mapi tells the group. 

At this point Jenni has wondered over to the group to hear the end of that comment, she turns to you and says “I hope you treat her well.” then she walks away. 

Everyone is looking at you for an answer but you have no idea what that comment was about. You set your drink down and turn to follow where you saw Alexia step outside. 

When you find Alexia she is sitting on the curb behind the club staring at nothing. “Alexia? are you alright?” you ask her. 

She stands and turns to you, as you meet her eyes you can see the tears in the corner of her eyes, “Oh Ale, come here” and you pull her into your arms and let her cry. 

After a few moments, she seems to pull her self together and looks up at you and says “Can I tell you something crazy? And hope that it doesn’t ruin our friendship” 

You take a deep breath and nod to her, she tries to pull away but you keep a tight grip on her forearms. 

“Jenni and I were never serious, she was fun and a distraction.” she tells you, you go to reply but she puts a finger on your lips. She looks into your eyes and says “She was a silly distraction to help me from getting on a plane and seeing you everyday. I am in love with you, I think I have loved you forever. Y/N Im s-“

As soon as she said she loved you, you knew this was the moment. You leaned forward and cut her off before her apology and press your lips to hers. She puts her hands on your hips and pulls you towards her as she deepens the kiss. It feels like forever goes by as you get lost in your best friends lips. 

You finally pull away and place a hand on her cheek and say “I am in love with you too. I have been in love with you ever since you stood up to those bullies when we were 10” 

A smile spreads on her face “Yeah?” 

“Yes, you have always been the one for me” you tell her. 

“Lets get out of here” she says as she pulls you towards a waiting taxi. 

***

The next morning you wake up with a content smile on your face, as you look down at your best friend who is curled in your arms after one of the best nights in your life. 

Your phone beeps on the bedside table, you reach over to grab it without moving the sleeping girl. you notice its an email from your agent. As you read through the email you smile grows and you know that things are going to work out. 

“what are you smiling about?” she asks you. 

You look down at her and press your lips to her forehead and ask her “how would you like to do this everyday?”

“what do you mean?” She looks up at you confused.

You smile at her and tell her about the impromptu meeting with the Barcelona ownership, and the email now from your agent. “So, will you let me come back to Barcelona?” 

“Si, mi amor. I cant wait till I don’t have to watch you leave ever again.” she tells you as she leans up and presses her lips to yours. 

You know in your heart that Barcelona was where you are meant to be. It just took you a little bit of time and space to comeback to your love.