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patdkoala · 2 years ago

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Backseat Serenade

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female reader

Warnings: Pet names (baby), unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, Dean Winchester being a total slut (yes that's a warning)

Sam had found a case for us all last night. Dean drove us halfway and then pulled into a skeezy motel for the rest of the night.

"Alright so, the lady messed up and gave us two beds," Dean said as he handed Sam and me both keys. "I don't see how that is a problem," I said as I took one of the keys and unlocked the door of the motel.

We stepped inside and it smelled like piss, beer, sweat, and menthol. The carpets reeked of cat piss, the curtains were stained yellow from people smoking inside, and the paint on the walls was patchy as if they'd been repainted multiple times.

And sitting on both sides of the room were two twin beds.

"But there are three of us," I said as Sam set his bags down on one of the beds. "I call dibs on the bed closest to the bathroom," He said as Dean and I glanced at each other back and forth.

"I will sleep in the car, you take the other bed," Dean said as he set my bags down on the other bed (He had carried my bags for me from the car to the motel).

"How is that fair to you? You're the one that drove for 10 hours straight. I can sleep in the car," I said as I went to pick up my bag.

"You're both ridiculous, why don't we just share a bed, Dean. Like we used to when dad would try to get the cheaper room when we were kids," Sam said as his older brother nodded and then we all got ready for bed.

The night went on per usual.

Sam fell asleep first, starfishing in his bed next to Dean, I was sitting up in bed watching a really bad romance movie on the tv, and Dean was sitting in his bed next to his little brother with his arms crossed and he sat there watching the movie with me.

"Do you seriously watch these every night?" Dean asked as I shook my head.

"No, only if the motels have cable but sometimes it cuts out and gets all staticky. Then I get a migraine so I have to turn it off," I said as the tv then turned to static and so I reached for the remote and turned it off.

"Why don't we all just try to get some sleep. We have a long car ride again tomorrow and we have to be well-rested for the hunt," Dean whispered to me as he looked at his sleeping brother.

I got under the covers but I couldn't exactly sleep because I wasn't very tired and I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Dean is sharing a bed with his little brother that is like 5 feet taller than all of us.

I started to laugh quietly in my bed.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked as I sat up and looked at him. He was laying on the very very edge of the bed and the blanket wasn't even covering 25% of his body. Sam Winchester starfishing in bed takes up 85% of the whole dang bed.

"Oh nothing," I laughed as Dean rolled his eyes, and then with one slight move he fell completely out of the bed.

"OH, SON OF A BITCH!" Dean whisper-yelled. "Dean! Shhhhhh!" I whisper-yelled back as I pointed to the sleeping Sam.

"Why don't you just sleep in my bed with me? I take up way less space than him and we both have insomnia so we can just stay up and talk anyway," I said as Dean nodded and then he got into bed with me.

The bed was still pretty small so Dean sat up a little and I rested my back against Dean's chest. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

I was pretty close to both boys so our cuddling up close was not a new thing. I'd been traveling with them both for months now.

We stayed up for a good four hours just talking to each other about the case, about Sam, about Castiel, about our past, and about how not tired we were.

"Wanna go for a drive?" I asked as Dean looked over to Sam who was still snoozing hard. "Sure," He said as he put on a hoodie and we left.

I stole one of Sam's hoodies since I didn't bring a late-night jacket.

We drove to a diner. We ordered pie.

"So, why do you and Sam do this?" "Do what?" He asked with a mouth full of pie.

"Why do you guys take these long drives? You could just as easily take a plane instead. You guys are practically loaded with all this credit card fraud," I said as he smiled and chuckled.

"Well, believe it or not, but Dean Winchester is scared of planes," He said as he spoke in the third person. "No, I believe it," I responded.

"What do you mean? I'm way too badass to be scared of anything," He said as he took another heaping bite of his apple pie.

"But, that's just it. You are way too much of a badass to be scared of anything that normal people are afraid of. Like ghosts, werewolves, witches, and demons. Because we fight things like that every day it would only make sense that our fears would be something dumb like planes, clowns, or heights," I said as he laughed at that last bit.

"So, is that what you're afraid of? Heights?" I nodded and he smiled back.

For a full hour of us sitting in that diner, it seemed almost as if Dean and I were a normal couple on a late-night date. It felt almost real.

"We should head back and see if we can get any sleep before Sam wakes up and decides it's time for his run," Dean said as I nodded.

And liked that the dream was crushed.

We drove back to the motel but we just sat in the parking lot.

"I don't want to go inside. I changed my mind," Dean said as I just sat there. "Okay? What do you want to do instead?" I asked as Dean just looked at me like I was the idiot in the car right now.

"Whatcha looking at me like that for?" I exclaimed as Dean then let out a huff.

"I just thought this whole night was you wanting to make a move on me but I guess I was wrong. I guess I've just been wrong for the past 7 months," He said as I looked at him with doe eyes.

"Oh, Dean. You are such a fool. Of course, I wanted you. I just knew that if we fucked early on in the hunting then I would be putting a target on my back and no one would take me seriously in the community. I'd just be the girl that fucked Dean Winchester and lived to tell the tale," I said as he smirked.

"Oh, don't worry. You'll still be able to tell the tale if you want," Dean said as he reached over to me and pulled me into a deep kiss.

We got out of the Impala and into the backseat. Dean took off his sweatshirt and then pulled off his t-shirt.

I removed Sam's hoodie and then my tank top. Only to reveal that I wasn't wearing a bra. "You spent the whole night with me while braless? You are a fucking minx," He said as he kissed my collarbone and then down my throat.

He held my body down as he moved his against mine with such force. I removed his belt and then slide his jeans and underwear down in one movement.

He pulled down my sweatpants and slid a finger inside of me ever so gently. I moaned out and arched my back. Then he slid in another finger.

Before I knew it, Dean Winchester had three fingers inside of me and I was moaning and falling apart underneath him.

"I know, baby. I feel you coming close." He said as he stopped and then he moved closer and pushed himself into me. I moaned at the sudden contact.

His fingers didn't even compare to the feeling of him inside of me like this.

We both moaned and he moved with such vigor. We took turns crying out each other's names.

The sun was rising behind us. He pulled out and came on the leather backseat. He used his t-shirt to clean it up.

He then fell asleep practically on top of me.

We woke up to knocking on the window. Dean used his hand to wipe the window because we had created so much steam that it fogged up the glass.

"Let me know why you guys are dressed and ready to go," Sam yelled outside the Impala. Dean got off of me and pulled his pants back on. His shirt was unuseful at the moment since it was just used as a cum rag.

I put back on Sam's hoodie and Dean put on his own. We got out of the car and went to change in the motel together.

Sam came back from his run and Dean had packed up the car so we checked out of the motel and all climbed in the Impala.

Dean and I were silent.

"So, are we going to address the elephant in the room or just ignore the fact that you two obviously slept together?" Sam asked as Dean looked in the rearview mirror and just gave me a look.

"Well, if it's so obvious then why does it need to be addressed?" I asked as Dean chuckled.

"I guess you're right then," Sam said before changing the topic and spoke about the case instead.

#dean winchester smut #dean winchester #sam and dean #dean winchester x reader #supernatural smut #please be my boyfriend dean winchester

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months ago

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aita for asking my mum to clean out the kitty litter trays even though its usually my chore

i drove to doctors and work this morning, i worked 8.30 till 5 she worked 8.30 til 4 and drove home after her shift ended to pick up my dance clothes for me (i only didnt have them because i had to stay late at work since 3 people went home sick).

my friend cancelled on me for dance tryouts so i spend the afternoon crying and eventually choose to go anyway because i was excited for hiphop but by this point my head is pounding.

i get out of work, she drives me to dance and goes to get macdonalds while she waits for me to get out. halfway through dance they mention we are not even doing hiphop today not until next week (u have to pay for the tryouts btw)

i get out 7.40ish. on the drive home im thinking "fuck its almost 8 i havent done any uni study, (i have 2 lectures, a quiz and like 8 readings that need to be done today and tomorrow), i havent spent any time with our cats or cleaned their litter trays yet."

for reference we have new cats and are introducing them into a house with a dog so rn we have them in one room and let them out occassionally while putting the dog out back, while i clean out the litter trays and top them up every day, once a week we empty them completely and clean them out

so we get home and i say "would it be too much to ask if you could please do the litter trays tonight" i try to explain that i have a headache and ive still got a lot of uni homework to do and i havent spent any time with the cats so i'd play with them for a bit while she cleans the trays and then do my homework

immeadiately she starts yelling at me that shes tired, she hasnt been home from work all day, she did it last time, shes done so many favours for me already today and blah blah blah.

the way i see it, first, i clean the kitty litter trays every day and vacuum their room. she has literally never done this, she emptied out and washed a tray last week because i was sick and got home from work and passed out. i (a learner btw so im very stressed when i drive) drove us to her appt and then to work, i worked more hours than her today, i danced all night with a headache, i also have not been home all day, after being cancelled on and then them not even doing the type of dance i wanted to do and i still have to do uni work tonight so i dont think im the selfish one here.

but sitting in my cats room while they eat their dinner i can hear her storm about and slam doors because shes so mad at me but i dont understand am i in the wrong here?

also literally as i am writing this she comes out and goes "tell me when youve finished dinner so i can let the cats out. and DONT leave it too late" while my food is literally cooking as we fucking speak jfc.

i have a bit of a diary where i write when mum is mad at me because if i mention to her that she upset me it never goes well so i write it down to safely let those feelings out and as i was writing this one i just needed some clarity i really cant fathom any reason for her to be mad except egocentrism so perhaps an unbias outsider can shed light?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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rosemaidenvixen · 1 year ago

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Hmm how about..“It’s a full moon tonight—wonder if we’ll run into any werewolves.” (Or something along those lines.) Jlaire?

And “We should carve pumpkins!” King and The Collector? (What’s their friendship tag, PlatinumBones?)

Jlaire prompt answered here, Platinum Bones prompt answered below

Ao3

The demon realm was great, full of fun and friends, but the Collector was having a blast in the human realm to. Camila had taken him and King to get a human snack called ice cream, which they’d finished only halfway through their walk back to her house, and she’d promised to take him and King to a special human holiday called–

Abruptly they spotted something across the street that stopped them in their tracks.

“What are those?”

Camila stopped mid step and looked to where the Collector was pointing “Those are jack o lanterns. They’re a special decoration that people make for Halloween. They by carve a face into a pumpkin, then when it gets dark you put a candle inside and it glows,”

The Collector felt a grin spreading across his face, giddy feeling bubbling up in their chest, whipping around to where King was standing on the other side of Camila “King, we should carve pumpkins!”

King jumped up from four feet to two “Yeah let’s do it!”

“Can we Miss Camila? Please please please!”

“Ok ok,” Camila raised both hands placatingly, smiling down at them “I’ll get some pumpkins and check with Eda to see if tomorrow’s ok for some pumpkin carving,”

“Yay!”

The next day King and the Collector stood in Camila’s kitchen. The table had been covered in layers of some kind of gray paper covered in tiny writing, a large bowl and several sharp knives sitting in the center that Camila made them promise not to touch without permission and supervision.

Sure they could just make pictures in the pumpkins with their magic, but they wanted to make jack o lanterns the same way humans did.

But what held the Collector’s attention the most was the four large, orange gourds crowding the table.

Off to the side Eda was screwing in a serrated blade in place of her regular hook hand “Remember kids, always have to be very careful using sharp knives, that’s how I lost this hand,”

King and the Collector giggled while Camila rolled her eyes from where she was tying on an apron “Now pumpkin carving gets pretty messy, so are you sure you don’t want aprons?”

The Collector shook their head “No,”

“Nope,”

“Alright then, do you know what pumpkins you each want to–

The Collector slapped a hand on the biggest pumpkin on the table “I wanna do this one,”

Beside him King jumped up to cling to another gourd with all four paws “Ooh this one!”

Eda chuckled as she and Camila stepped up to the table “Well I guess that settles it,”

Camila giggled along with her as she set four markers on the table “We start by drawing the design we want on the outside of the pumpkin,”

The Collector peeked at her from over their pumpkin “Design?”

“Well most people do a spooky face, but it can be whatever you want,” she picked up a marker and uncapped it “I’m going to do a cat,”

King reached over to pick up a marker “I think I’ll just do a regular face, keep thing simple,”

The Collector nodded and grabbed their own marker “Me to,”

“Well I’m doing an owl, I’m the owl lady, I’ve got a schtick to stick do,”

Finishing their drawing, the Collector reached for a knife and got ready to start carving their design.

“Hold on there,” Camila gently laid a hand on their elbow “Before we start carving our designs we need to scoop out the guts,”

The Collector blinked up at her “Guts?”

From beside they heard King standing up in his chair “I didn’t think plants in the human realm had intestines,”

“Well they’re not really ‘guts’ it’s just the seeds and the goop inside them,”

“Goop?”

“I’ll show you,” Camila picked up a knife, inserting the tip into the top of her pumpkin at an angle “First we need to cut off the tops…”

Under Eda and Camila’s careful supervision King and the Collector each cut lids out of the tops of their pumpkins, allowing them to reach inside with large spoons while Eda and Camila went back to their own pumpkins.

The Collector lifted their spoon out, staring wide eyed at the clump of large white seeds connected by tangles of orange slime “Eeewww,”

He dumped the contents of the spoon into the large bowl at the center of the table, the seeds landing inside with a splat, strands of orange still clinging to the spoon.

“Eeeeeeewwwwww,”

King leaned over to drop his own spoonful into the bowl “I can see why you call these guts,”

Eda popped the top her pumpkin “Let me know if you need a hand getting all that stuff out,”

“No!” the Collector leaned protectively over their pumpkin “I want to do it myself!”

“Yeah!” King piped up.

Camila laughed, dropping a spoonful of guts from her own pumpkin into the bowl “Alright, we won’t help unless you ask…”

With the four of them working the bowl was soon brimming with pumpkin guts. Camila and Eda finished first and got to work carving their designs while King and the Collector were still scooping. It was hard getting all the guts out, but they were almost done, and the Collector wanted to do this themselves–

Abruptly something wet and slimy hit the side of their cheek.

Turning on reflex, they saw King grinning at them, paw still stained with orange from the handful of seeds he’d tossed at them.

The Collector felt a wide smile of their own spread across their face. Slowly reaching into the bowl to grab their own handful of guts.

Before they knew it guts were flying all over the place, King was laughing, they were laughing, slime was getting everywhere–

They reached in for another handful only to find Eda’s arm covering the bowl.

“Alright alright,” she laughed “That’s enough of that you little monsters,”

“Awww,”

“Come on Eda,” King scurried up to the bowl “I was just about to win!”

“Was not!”

“Was to!”

“Was–”

“Ok kids,” Camila cut in “If you want to play with the pumpkin guts you can, or…”

She smiled at each of them in turn “I can show you how to make barfing pumpkins with them,”

“Barfing!?” the Collector stood up in their chair “How!?”

“Well first we have to finish carving their faces…”

The Collector and King cut out the faces from their pumpkins, Eda and Camila watching them like hawks from the instant they picked up the knives until the second they set them down. Then Camila picked up a handful of guts out of the bowl “So to make barfing pumpkins you put some of the guts back inside and have them handing out the mouth, like this,”

She reached an arm inside the Collector’s pumpkin, dropping the handful of guts so that bits of seeds and slime hung out of the mouth while the Collector watched with glee.

"Let me do it let me do it!"

Camila stepped aside, allowing the Collector to grab a handful of guts, leaning over their pumpkin reaching all the way inside to place them.

While Camila and Eda carved out their designs King and the Collector took turns grabbing guts from the bowl. Putting more and more inside their pumpkins until the guts were nearly spilling off the table.

Before they knew it all the bowl was empty and all their pumpkins were done. Camila’s cat and Eda’s owl neatly cut out, while King and the Collector’s spooky faces were barfing all over the table.

The Collector felt sticky all over, covered in pumpkin goop from head to toe, some of it was still wet and some was half dried and tacky. King was just as messy as them, fur clumped with goop and smears of orange on his skull.

They didn't care about the goop or the mess, carving the pumpkins had been so much fun!

"Great work kids," Camila gathered the knives and set them next to the sink "We'll put them on the porch with candles tonight, but for now we need to clean the kitchen, and you two need baths–"

The Collector froze instantly, whipping towards King, the two of them sharing a panicked look.

Quick as a flash the Collector pulled a star out of their pocket, expanding it and jumping on top with King hopping on right beside him. Less than a second later they were zooming out the backdoor, leaving Eda and Camila shouting after them.

"Hey we talked about this, no big magic in the human world!"

"Don't worry Camila I'll get ‘em,"

King leaned forward on the star as they flew through the trees "Go faster!"

"I'm trying I'm trying!"

Behind them Eda ducked and weaved through the trees as she pursed in her harpy form "Get back here you rascals!"

The two of them squealed and flew faster.

#the owl house #king clawthorne #the collector #eda clawthorne #camila noceda #platinum bones #halloween #tohhalloween #halloween prompts #rmvwrites

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 1 year ago

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do you have any tips for having chill sleepy pets on long road trips? hope the rest of your journey goes well!

Depends on the pets!

Ours have some history with road trips being - shall we say - less than stellar. So we're working against existing anxiety.

The steps we took to prepare them was to 1) spend the night before giving lots of extra treats, cuddles, and positive reinforcement for good behavior, 2) wake up early and contain all the pets in their travel carriers/dens and in the car, away from the bustle of human-prep for the road trip (sparing them the anxiety of pre-roadtrip chaos), 3) we laced the carriers with treats like silvervine (for the cats) and freeze dried beef lung and travel toys (for all) so that they had comfort and snacks to keep them occupied, and 4) I spent the entire roadtrip talking to them lol, even though I know they can't understand me, I like to think that it's comforting for them to hear my voice and know I'm with them through the whole process (we also had a halfway point where me and wifey met up so she could talk to them all and cuddle them too, since when she called they all started crying as soon as they heard her voice).

I don't think the car ride was worry free for them! There was definitely plenty of distressed talkativeness from all three of the anxious pets (the ones with bad history moving house), but it was intermittent and they did nap peacefully between complaints! So I think we did an okay job!

We've gotten to our hotel room for the night (we officially move in tomorrow) and the cats have their own private space to recover from the long roadtrip before the mini one (30min max) tomorrow. They were squeaky when we first got in, but they calmed down pretty much immediately. The dogs are restless, but no moreso than I'd expect after being cooped up for most of the day. Jaxx is pretty upset she can't see the cats, because she and Lup are besties, but Lup's a little too overwhelmed right now for Big Friend time, so she's just going to have to be disappointed.

Honestly, I'm actually the most worried about Tobi. He had the hardest time of everyone, and is acting a bit twitchy, which isn't great given we're in a hotel overnight, but hopefully he calms down with a lil lovin and rest. I think he was stressed spending so much of the day physically separated from his people, so now that he can cuddle up, he should be able to regulate pretty quickly.

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nancypullen · 2 years ago

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Oops

Soooo, I’ve been making a lot of noise about getting our back porch stained. It’s just bare wood, and my decades in the deep south make me itchy to protect it from weather, bugs, rot, etc. Maybe it’s different up here but I doubt it. Anyway, we were in Easton a couple of days ago so I popped into Lowe’s and bought stain. Our house is gray, the shutters are sort of a deep charcoal, the front porch and all the window trim is white. In Nancy Land that means that you don’t buy any of the hundred shades of brown stain - tones from light oak to mahogany or a deep walnut. Nope, I looked at the semi-transparent grays. I didn’t want to match the gray of the house, I knew that I needed to compliment it with a deeper tone. I should add, that I wanted to just paint it white to match the front porch. The mister was adamant that white was not a good idea. I agreed that white wouldn’t last on the floor boards, but everything else would work. He stood his ground. I figured if I was going to give him his way with a color choice that something attached to the back of the house was my best bet. So I picked a color called Dutch Licorice. I chose a semi-transparent base for the color because the sample piece of wood at the store in that color and base was just right. Not too light, not too dark, the woodgrain showed through the wash of color - perfect. Except it’s not. You guys....I snapped this photo when I was about halfway finished.

Yes, I know the patio looks absolutely awful. It’s begging to be power washed. I’ll get to it. But look at that stain! Yikes! I told my sister that it looks like Darth Vader is sitting right in the middle of my carefully curated, blossom covered, white picket fenced, birdie sanctuary. Rats. Because I am cheap, I used what I bought. Lowe’s won’t let me return a can of regret. I’ll admit, it’s finished now and looks almost okay in sunlight. I’m going to have to brighten it up with white pots of colorful flowers. I’ll provide more pics when it gets to that point. I can count on one hand the times in my life when I’ve regretted a color choice (we’re not talking about my hair) but this one goes on the list. I’m glad it’s on the back of the house, but I still think the squirrels are judging it.

In other news, my itty-bitty vinca are trying really hard to show off. I’ve been so concerned about them because they haven’t seemed too robust, but they’re trying. Hopefully they’ll fill in, flower abundantly, and that row of little flowers will become a tumble of red.

Vinca was an easy, reliable work horse in my gardens in Mt. Juliet. Maybe they don’t like it here. I’ve dropped sunflower seeds along the porch and they’re doing great. I can’t remember the name, but they should be about four feet tall which would be perfect for this bed.

This little clematis is thriving, and I’ve provided some twine for it to climb toward the porch. Grow, little girl, grow!

I rescued this baby from the orphan table for $2.00. I think she’ll make it. She probably won’t stay there, that’s just her ICU. She might end up potted with some friends. We’ll see.

This fern loves its spot by the front door.

It’s early days, but I have high hopes for this spot.

I’ll add more, but it’s coming along.

Have I made you forget about that travesty of a back porch yet? I tried not to think about it as I sat at my desk today and played with some paper and paint. This sweet kitty kept me company.

“Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” - George Eliot She told me that she didn’t care one little bit about the color of that porch. Then I remembered that cats see basically in blue and gray and realized that she doesn’t appreciate anything I do around this house. All that matters to her is the can opener. Still, I appreciated the support.

Tomorrow the mister wants to run off to D.C. He’s got an urge to go to the Air & Space Museum and I figure I can at least get lunch out of it. Since I’ve spent the last few days spreading mulch, scrubbing and staining that porch, and hauling and cooking groceries - I need a nice lunch in a nice place. That’s it for me tonight. I’m off to soak my aching bones and then read myself to sleep. More tomorrow, hopefully something fun from D.C. ,certainly more exciting than mulch and stain. Sending out loads of love, wishing you peace and contentment, and hoping that you stay safe and stay well. XOXO - Nancy

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scattermindsage · 23 days ago

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Reading a Book with Feels Like Climbing a Mountain (With No Map) To You ?

Hey there, fellow scatterbrains (and honorary scatterbrains).

Let’s talk about something I’ve been struggling with lately: reading a book. I don’t mean textbooks or anything boring—those are a whole other nightmare. I mean books I actually want to read. Fiction, fantasy, self-help, memoirs—you name it. I love the idea of reading books, but sitting down and focusing long enough to actually finish one? That’s where things fall apart.

If you’ve got ADHD, you probably know exactly what I mean.

The ADHD Reading Struggle

So, here’s how it typically goes for me:

1. Excitement Stage

I hear about a new book, and suddenly it’s all I can think about. The cover looks amazing, the blurb hooks me, and I’m convinced this book will Change. My. Life. I rush to buy it—because waiting is not an option when you’ve got ADHD and a hyperfixation brewing.

2. Start Strong, Fizzle Fast

The book arrives, and I dive in with all the energy of a toddler on sugar. The first 10 pages? Amazing. I’m loving it. My brain is hooked. But then… something shiny distracts me. Maybe it’s my phone, maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t had a snack in two hours, or maybe it’s just that my brain decided to think about 25 other things at the same time.

3. The “Wait, What Did I Just Read?” Spiral

Even when I try to focus, my brain has other plans. I’ll read the same paragraph three times because halfway through, my mind wanders off. Suddenly I’m not in the story anymore—I’m wondering if my neighbor’s cat ever gets bored or planning what I’ll eat for breakfast tomorrow. When I snap back to reality, I have no clue what’s happening in the book, and I have to start over.

4. Abandonment

At some point, I inevitably put the book down. Not because I don’t like it, but because it feels like too much effort to keep going. I tell myself I’ll come back to it tomorrow, but “tomorrow” turns into next week, next month, or never. And then I feel guilty because how hard can it be to just read a book?!

Why This Happens

Here’s the thing:

Reading a book requires sustained focus, and that’s not exactly ADHD’s strong suit.

Our brains crave novelty and stimulation, so when a book slows down or doesn’t grab us instantly, it’s hard to stay engaged. Add in time blindness (aka forgetting how long you’ve been reading) and executive dysfunction (aka struggling to start or finish tasks), and you’ve got the perfect storm for an unfinished book pile. It’s not that we don’t want to read—it’s that our brains make it ridiculously hard to stick with it.

Tips That (Sometimes) Help

Over the years, I’ve found a few tricks that make reading a bit easier. They don’t work every time, but hey, progress is progress:

Audiobooks Are a Lifesaver

If focusing on a physical book feels impossible, try listening instead. Audiobooks let you “read” while doing other things, like cleaning or walking. Plus, a good narrator can make even a slow book feel exciting.

Choose ADHD-Friendly Books

Short chapters, fast-paced stories, or books with lots of dialogue work best for me. Bonus points if the book has a good cliffhanger at the end of every chapter.

Set a Timer

Sometimes I trick my brain into reading by telling myself, “Just 10 minutes.” More often than not, I’ll get sucked into the story and keep going after the timer ends.

Take Breaks

There’s no rule that says you have to finish a book in one sitting. Read a chapter, take a break, and come back when your brain feels ready.

Be Kind to Yourself

This is the most important tip. Struggling to read doesn’t make you lazy or less smart. Your brain just works differently, and that’s okay.

A Love Letter to My ADHD Readers

If you’re reading this and nodding along, please know you’re not alone. It’s not just you. The unfinished book pile? The frustration of reading the same sentence over and over? The guilt? Yeah, I get it.

You don’t need to read like everyone else. You just need to read like you.

But here’s the thing: you’re not failing. You’re navigating the world with a brain that’s wired for creativity, curiosity, and a million ideas at once. So maybe reading a book takes you longer. Or maybe you read differently—through audiobooks, podcasts, or summaries. That’s okay.

Until next time,

ScatterMindSage

#adhd adult #adhd problems #adhd brain #adhd hyperfixation #free palestine #books #actually adhd #adhd things #reading #book reading #adhd life #undiagnosed adhd #adhd reader

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lou-blooms-bitch · 1 month ago

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diary entry

idk why i made the title rainbow i just remembered i could and thought why the fuck not

but today i did fuckall whats new. well no i didnt really do fuckall, i woke up at around 10 i think then took a nap at 12 until about 1:20ish then took a shower sometime at 2 then did what i needed to do like shaved my legs and whatnot, i made my bed after too (i put my bedsheet on AMAZINGLY btw. very very proud of how i did it even tho i was embarassingly out of breath afterwards...) but getting into a clean bed while clean with freshly shaved legs is FUCKING HEAVEN !!!!! if only i had more silk sheets instead of just one smh.. in fairness tho this one is still kinda silky just softer ??? idk.. cuz yk the way some bedsheets are cotton but like fuzzier cotton ?? this ones like a less fuzzy cotton in a way. but yeah i didnt really do anything else.. i never painted my nails either i couldnt have been fucked, ill have to do them tomorrow or if i cant sleep tonight do it then.

im nearly finished my game too !!! honestly a little sad about it cuz i love this game so much its so nice and calming.. oh powerwashing simulator how i love you... i also was kinda pissed off cuz i found out that i was using the second best nozzle in the game instead of the best one.. wanna know why ?? I DIDNT FUCKING KNOW THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE !!!!!! i was so pissed cuz at that point i was like halfway through the last cleaning session and i was just like sitting there thinking this couldve been 10x easier for me ??? but i was just an idiot ?!?!!? either way it doesnt really matter cuz the game is still enjoyable either way. but still fuck me.

my friend just texted me, were talking about our tattoos for tomorrow.. yk i love her, shes a great girl. sometimes i feel like she hates me and doesnt actually like being around me or shes like just plotting against me.. not like PLOTTING against me but like waiting for me to fuck up rlly bad so she can just say how much she hates me and dip. i get scared about that a lot, i get it with like everyone i know. im pretty sure thats just my mentality tho.. i think its a thing where like i hate and think so badly of myself that i cant imagine someone genuinely liking me. it fucking sucks being like this.

oh i also spilled makeup remover on my laptop today. was NOT happy at all... i covered my face in sudocream like a face mask cuz apparently it helps your skin or whatever and i got it too close to my eyes and it was burning so i got cotton buds and put makeup remover on them cuz it was easier to take the sudocream off that way and when i put makeup remover on cotton buds i like squeeze the bottle to do it quicker and get it like wetter, when i was doing that my hand slipped and sprayed my makeup remover ALL. OVER. MY. LAPTOP. the keyboard and the touchpad started having a fucking mind of their own and i was getting really scared cuz at the moment my entire life is my laptop, all my friends are here, all my games are here, like everything.. it ended up being fine tho thank all the fucking gods. some of the keys were a bit fucked up so i just took the caps off and got some tissue and rubbed the shit out of the underneaths and then got my hair dryer and blew it all over the keyboard and now its fine !!! the girl is okay !!!!!!

as im typing this my cat started scratcing the inside her little box lol, shes so cute.. i went over to look inside and catch her during the act but she stopped and purr/meowed at me it was really cute. i lifted her up and started kissing her but she didnt really like that.. i held her a little weirdly too so im scared i hurt her a little but i think shes okay, she was most likely just uncomfortable. i didnt hold her for long anyways cuz i 1. dont want her to be upset 2. dont want her to scratch me and 3. dont want her to be mad at me

im not sure if i have anything else to talk about but im really excited to get my tattoo tomorrow, really fucking nervous tho... i really feel like the guy doing it will be a creep. he just randomly texted my friend and stuff and he wass like oh ill keep the shop open for you blah blah blah, like it just seems a bit weird. i hope hes okay tho, even if hes a little weird its alright i guess. i suppose if anything ill bring something just incase i need to defend myself, i have a horrible feeling about him.. like a SICKENING feeling about him. like when i think about him i start to feel my chest and throat get heavy and it feels like my throat is closing up. i think thats just my nerves tho, cuz yk hes a man who the fuck would trust a random ass man ?????

but yeah i think im gonna go now, probs gonna paint my nails and go to bed sooooo

there is cats fighting outside the little babies :( be friends please !!!!

well im gonna go the cat fight noises are making me really sad cuz i cant help them

goodnight tumblr

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firespirited · 2 years ago

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I did too much today. Each decision had me pondering whether this was a good idea and then I did it anyway. TLDR. Yes worth it but I'll pay for it later, as you do.

I did some doll hair pruning and a few plug replacements which hurt my shoulders. It looks amazing though. I resent being really quite good at something my broken back can't handle.

I did the hill I've added to the walk but with both dogs which was hard to handle, they pull in different directions and you have to keep and eye on both at all times so they don't eat junk or cat poop. I'd had the runs for no reason that morning and halfway up this steep but not far hill, my stomach starts doing the 'going down' alarms. I prep dog poop bags and hope there's a place I can hide and keep it contained if this actually happens. It didn't. thank goodness.

I sat on the old olive tree and let it pass. Kept thinking about how for the first time I have a cane in my bag, that's going to be useless in this type of emergency.

They don't do awareness days for IBS do they?

I watched EEAAO then immediately watched it again. Time for a zen Buddhism/taoism rabbithole.

I make a point to often say the words mum needs to hear from her mother, it's not the same coming from me though. We've done a huge amount of patching up our messy relationship, including questions I'd never dared evoke myself that I decided to just expell like blood on the lungs and sat down to get answers at 32, after twenty years of doubt. It's a good film. Very Daniels. So much detail for a tiny budget. I'm shifting into joy's costume design hyperfocus tomorrow hardcore.

Then with a raging headache, I set off to the local big bins with J as I'd spotted a bike earlier but there were a bunch of teens. The bike was gone. A big caboodle for sis, a laptop bag and J spotted a bag of toys I almost dismissed. I lifted it out carefully with a stick and saw what looks like a Takara fakie pony. It's mostly boy toys, cereal toys but there's a superstar from the 90s, another with cut off nose and chin and poly haired talking Tina so I might get better video of the 'crumble'.

Wish I didn't have a headache and be at the end of the day so I could be excited about my first fashion doll find!!!

Ok off to sleep and well, tomorrow me is in for some pain. We'll just have to deal 😅. Also got dehydrated - future in 6h me is going to piss like a horse.

#saf #dolls #Ramblings

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dear-ao3 · 1 year ago

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hi its me again welcome back to the mess that is my silly season post. as a reminder if you never want to see this again block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

today is february 14, 2024 (happy valentines day mothers and fuckers of the jury) and lets dive in to the most recent batch of car releases

now, to be fair, this is a fairly tame update. nothing earth shattering has happened this week, but tomorrow we have the red bull car reveal. and that is anticipated to be...something. so im splitting this into everything that happened this week and then tomorrow we will get the red bull release and ill do my best to take another stab at explaining the red bull drama.

so so so we have four car releases: aston martin, ferrari, mercedes and mclaren. and well, mclaren already dropped their livery in the middle of January cause cause they're #built different and wanted to cause a social media stir in the middle of their taylor swift reputation esque instagram rebrand, so were mostly going to ignore them here cause we've been seeing that car for literally like a month

(also sorry mclaren but it looks pretty much the same as last years)

as for aston martin. well. its green. its a car. its fairly expected.

and ferrari was red. obviously. theres a fork in the kitchen and the ferrari car is red. but i digress.

ferrari did post some stupidly funny pictures of charles and carlos where they both look objectively miserable though. like. alarmingly so. like people made these memes about it:

(via the instagrams banter_steiner and msportbanter)

like those photos are on the real ferrari instagram account. which leaves many people to speculate if the car sucks. it might suck. at this point (i think) all of the drivers have driven this years car on a track individually (as in all at different tracks near where they're based, so ferrari was somewhere in italy, mclaren in england etc) so. they could know something we dont.

aside from that the other head turning car news was the mercedes car. she is pretty and she is sexy and she is not all black! you all remember how last update i talked about the fact that mercedes was the one to pilot the all black livery. well. clearly they remain ahead of the trend because they came out with this bad boy:

she's painted and once again she's ahead of the trend. we love her.

no other driver contracts have been signed as of yet. but we did learn that lewis hamilton had told zhou guanyu before he told the mercedes team that he was moving to ferrari in 2025. and zhou just told no one. cause hes cool like that.

and everyone under the sun still wants the mercedes seat. even esteban ocon. he will probably not get the mercedes seat. there is a rumor going around tho that everyone is basically out of the running except for our good friends kimi antonelli and fernando alonso. t supposedly kimi has plan a and fernando is plan b. but kimi (still being an f2 driver and only having his first year in f2 this year at that) still has to prove himself, which means they wont be announcing if they are signing him until at least june or july (about halfway through the season). though, as of now things are looking pretty good for kimi.

without getting too much into the f2 drama cause thats its own separate bag of cats, they had their pre season testing this week in bahrain. the first day of testing it rained (literally never happens) but kimi finished the testing with the fourth fastest time, 1:53.511s. this is pretty good when you realize that the fastest lap set that day was 1:53.175s (according to motorsport week) also, recall that george russell got his mercedes seat after the insane 2021 qualifying session in belgium, in a massive rainstorm, where he finished second in a shitbox williams. so. things are looking decently good for kimi.

moving on tho to fernando alonso. he had some things to say about the mercedes seat. and by things to say i mean that he had some shade to throw. earlier this week he spoke about the open mercedes seat and had this to say about lewis hamilton's ferrari move:

"It was not his childhood dream 12 months ago or two months ago, I guess, because it was a different dream." which is kind of a wild thing to say, but then again, fernando alonso has been a driver forever, i think hes entitled to a few batshit statements. and he definitely made more than just that one.

as a small refresher, there are currently three world champions on the grid: max verstappen, lewis hamilton and fernando alonso. verstappen and hamilton are both contracted, alonso is the only still available. and he knows that this puts him in a good position (a lot of teams might want him and they'd be willing to pay good money to get him, especially after the commitment to racing they saw in him last year, like when he beat checo by literally .053 seconds for third place in brazil). he said that he is not sure he will want to stay in formula 1 after this year (he has already retired once and expressed minor interest in going to a different league) but if he does he wants to first talk with aston martin about extending his contract there.

he did say though that verstappen and hamilton are "fast world champions, [and] in the past maybe there were some world champions who were not so committed to being fast." first of all Shade and second of all yeah he knows his value in the silly season. if you want to read the rest of his interview its on espn and its actually pretty interesting.

and the last bit we have to unpack before we get to the hot red bull disaster is of course sebastian vettel. you might be asking, who the fuck is sebastian vettel. well allow me to tell you.

sebastian vettel is a four time, consecutive world champion f1 driver (and also the youngest world champion, he won his first when he was 23). he won all of his championships with red bull before leaving the team to sign with ferrari. unfortunately for him that coincided with the rise of mercedes and he never won any championships with ferrari. carlos sainz took his ferrari seat in 2021 and sebastian raced with aston martin for 2 years before retiring in 2022 to spend time with his wife and kids and give younger drivers his seat (this is of course hilarious because he was replaced at aston martin by none other than fernando alonso. who is six years older than Sebastian).

sebastian also is lewis hamiltons emotional support rival, loves bees (and is a supporter of the environment and social justice) and is generally just a silly goofy fun guy.

now. what on earth foes a retired formula 1 driver have to do with silly season?

WELL

basically hes been being a little shit on instagram

and by being a little shit i mean that hes been posting hints at returning to formula 1, or at least to racing.

basically his entire instagram recently (read: for several months) is all old throw back photos of him at red bull with the tag #thereisstillaracetowin. which is. perplexing. because he is not racing.

then there is a video. posted on february 10. of him wearing a red bull jacket and hat with his logo on it. saying "since the beginning of january ive basically been preparing for the new year, for the new season. and i have been in the simulator several times now. and also with the team in england, just to slowly get back into the rhythm."

now yes, this is still one of the throwback posts of his career that they're reposting on his instagram. but it does have very interesting timing. not only are we in the silliest silly season known to man, but also the middle of the red bull drama.

there is also speculation that there german grand prix could be retuning to the calendar. which could connect to vettels supposed and hinted return.

admittedly, its a long shot that hes coming back. but its still interesting timing for sure.

and that of course takes us to red bull. no real news from them other than what we already know. but we do know that horner has:

been told by pretty much everyone under the sun that he should step down

has not stepped down and refuses to admit to any and all allegations

apparently has fallen out of favor with red bull

will be at the car launch tomorrow

so. could be interesting.

stay tuned :)

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

#not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #f1 #read more baby girl please work #i like that i said it wasnt a lot and then it was #yeah

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issdisgrace · 3 years ago

Note

Could you do a Jason with a male reader who rescues wildlife around the camp and reader calls them his fur babies? :3

FUR BABIE

WARNINGS: Fluff, more fluff, mentions of bird flash, light mentions of alcohol, break in, and slight blood

A/N: I know this isn't exactly what you wanted but I hope you like it non the less. Also sorry for the wait

“Um, Hey Jason, um, what would you do if I found a cat and brought it home?” I said, holding the cat behind my back.

“I would wonder where you found it and what you named it.”

“His name is Jay-Jay, and I found him by the dumpster in the alley over.”

“Hmm, why did you name Jay-Jay?”

“Um, well, it has a little white streak on his face and I thought of you. See.” I said, holding the cat out for Jason to see. Jason petted the cat.

“He’s cute. I think he will be a nice addition to your collection.”

“Hey, I don’t have a collection.”

“Love, you have 2 other cats and a great dane and a doberman. You have a collection.” He said, taking the cat out of my hands. Petting it more, the cat purring and snuggling into him.

“But they’re my fur babies.”

“I know, love, I know. How about you go put some food and water for him in the guest room and he can stay there as we slowly introduce them to the others?”

“Alright, love you.” I said, running off to get the guest room all set up for my new baby.

4 WEEKS LATER

“Um, Jay, I did a thing again.”

“What did you do, love?”

“Um well, i might have brought home another cat.”

“Love, we just got jay-jay comfortable with everyone else.”

“I know, but look, he so cute.” I said, moving my jacket so he could see the cat clinging to me.

“He is indeed cute. What did you name him?”

“Well, I named him Dami, there something about him that reminds me of your brother.”

“Are you going to name all our cats after my brothers?”

“No, it’s just they remind me of your brothers and I think they’re adorable as well.”

“All you need is to rescue 2 more cats and all my family will have cat equivalents.”

“Does that mean I can get more cats?”

“No.”

“But there cute and my little fur babies.”

“I know, love, but we’ll have to get a house at this point to keep all our animals in.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t either. How about we look at houses this next week? I’m taking the week off so we don’t have to worry about house shopping being interrupted?”

“That sounds nice.”

6 WEEKS LATER

“Hey, jay, um, so you know how I went out on that walk.”

“Yes.” He said, still searching for something to watch on the tv

“I might have found 2 kittens and they might be in my arms.” Jason turns around and looks at me and the kittens.

“Alright, love, what did you name these guys?”

“Well, the orange one is Alfie and the black and white one is named Brucie.”

“Love, we have cat versions of all of me and my family. We have Timmy, Richy, Jay-Jay, Dami, Brucie, and Alfie.”

“I know, but I love you and your family, but they’re so cute I can’t help it. They are my fur babies.”

“I know. We should introduce them to each other.”

“I wouldn’t mind. We could make dinner and have them over.”

2 WEEKS LATER

We were having Jay’s family over, so I made sure all the cats were bathed and looking handsome as ever. Jason was cooking dinner, he was making his famous chicken wings along with making a pizza from scratch. God, he was a fantastic cook. If I hadn’t met him, I would probably be eating ramen or take out every day. So all I had to do was set the table and wait for his family to show up. I was halfway through an episode of walking dead when I heard the door bell go off.

“I’ll get it jay.” I walked to the front door and opened it to reveal all the batfamily. Alfred, of course, leading the pact with a tin in his hands.

“I made cookies for you guys.”

“Thank you, Alfie. I’m sure Jason will have them eaten by tomorrow morning.” He chuckled a bit, and I stepped aside and let the family in.

“Jason cooking dinner right now, I think it will be done in a half an hour or so. So you guys can hang out with me and my cats while we wait.”

“Alright that’s sounds good.” Bruce says.

“How many cats do you have?” Damian asks as I lead them to the living room.

“We have 6 cats and we also have 2 dogs, but they are currently with Roy because he decided he needed company and dog napped them from us.”

“That is a very Roy thing to do.” Dick says.

“Yeah. Have a seat. Do you guys want anything to drink? We have water, apple juice, monster, ice coffee, beer, and whiskey?”

“That is a very odd mixture of things. I’ll have water.” Alfred says.

“I’ll have a whiskey.” Bruce said.”

“Alright boys, what do you want?”

“I’ll have a monster.” Damian says.

“I want an iced coffee.”

“Of course, Timmy and Dick. What do you want?”

“I’ll take a beer. Treat myself to something other than water and an occasional red bull.”

“Alright, I’ll be back with all your drinks.” I walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen to see my handsome boyfriend putting the pizza and wings in the oven.

“Hello, love, your family is here.”

“I know.”

“How about you help me with drinks and come hang out while the food cooks?”

“Sounds lovely.”

“Alright, we need a whiskey and a beer than water, monster, and iced coffee.”

“Alright.” He says he takes his apron off. I grabbed a glass of water, a monster, and add ice into a jar with iced coffee. Jason grabbed a glass and poured whiskey and got two beers from the fridge. We headed back into the living room and gave everyone their respective drinks. Jason and me sitting in the love chair as the others sit on the couch, Jay-jay hopping up in Jason’s lap.

“You guys get settled into the house alright.” Bruce asks.

“Yeah, everything went pretty smooth.” Jason says.

“Yeah, except when the box with the plates broke open and all of them shattered on the floor.”

“Oh my, hopefully neither of you got hurt.”

“We didn’t, Alfie.” Alfie the cat must have heard me say Alfie and came trotting out of no where and jumped on my lap.

Damian asks “What are their names?”

“Well, the one in Jason's lap is Jay-Jay and this little guy in my lap in Alfie.”

“You got cats named after Alfred and Jason.” Dick says.

“Yeah, well, the other ones are named after you guys.”

“You have a cat named after me?” Damian said.

“Yes, he’s all black, he’s probably under the couch, he tends to sleep there along with Timmy.”

“Lol, when our cat equivalents get along better than we do.” Tim jokes.

“Yeah, they're best buds. They don’t go anywhere without the other.”

“Brucie and Richy are probably in the cat tree.” Jay says.

“Yeah, they hang out there a lot.”

“Can you get all the cats? I want to see them.” Damian says. I get up and hand Alfie to Alfred. I open the coffee table, draw and pull out a thing of cat treats and shake it. All the cats except for Alfie flocking to me. I give each one a treat and hand them off to the respective person.

“There very cute, I must say. I like how Brucie looks like he is wearing a tux and how Timmy looks like he has a mustache.” Dick says. Me and Jason smiling at his comment.

“Yeah, I like cat me, he got almost the same color eyes as me.” Damian said.

“That’s why they named him after you.” Jason buts in.

“I must say they are very well behaved.”

“Jason and me trained them so they come to their names and sit for their treats. They also like baths, so I don’t get scratched up when I have to bathe them.” “That impressive.” Tim says while he pets Timmy.

“It is.” Damian says in agreement.

“I guess.” I said. Silence filling the room, a peaceful silence none the less. I sat back down next to Jason, Jay-Jay hopping into my lap.

“Ugh, even mini me love you more than me.” Jason said, a group of chuckles coming after.

“Well, he loves me just as much as you love me.”

“Mmm, I think I love you more than him.”

“I think you.” I say before I pecked his lips.

“Alright, I got to check dinner don’t need it to burn on me.” Jason, said walking out of the room.

“You got him trained well, don’t you?” Bruce jokes.

“Well, he does the cooking and cleaning most of the time, so you could say that.”

“You got yourself a househusband.” Dick says.

“Yeah, and I pay him handsomely for his work.”

“Well, yeah, you got to keep him happy, so he doesn’t go running off on you.” Dick said.

“Very, very true dick.”

“I must say, I am surprised Todd is as domestic as he is.”

“It’s nice, and it’s a contrast to his crime fighting life.”

“Maybe me and Wally can come over sometime and we could all hang out.”

“That would be nice. I don’t think Jason would mind. We could invite Roy.”

“I haven’t seen Roy in a while, so that would be nice.”

“Alright, well, just have to set up a date when we are all free…” Before I finish my sentence, Jay calls out.

“Love, dinner almost done. Could you set the table for me?”

“Yes, Jay.” I got up from my spot and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed plates from the cupboard as jay pulled the pizza and wings out of the oven. I then walked into the dining room and set the place in front of each chair. After the table was set, I grabbed the blue cheese and ranch from the refrigerator and put it on the table as well. I was setting napkins on each plate when Jason came in with the food, setting it in the middle on the table.

“Alright, Jay, how about you take a seat and I go get them?”

“Thanks. Could you get me another beer as well?”

“Sure.” I grabbed a 2 beer and got the others from the living room and led them into the dining room.

“Alright, have a seat anywhere you like.”

“The food looks fantastic, Jason.” Alfred says, Jason’s face lighting up at that.

“Eat up everyone, I don’t need left overs.” Jay says. One by one, everyone gets a slice of pizza and some wings. We chat and eat for a good hour, enjoying each other’s company. When around 8:30 the door bell goes off.

“I’ll get that.” I say as I get up. I walk to the door and open it to reveal Roy and our dogs.

“I see you have decided it was time to return my babies.”

“Yeah, also suspected that there would be food and I’m hungry.”

“I’m gonna have to start charging you for grocery.” I joke.

“You know where the dining room is. There are pizza and wings, along with Jason and his family.”

“Alright.” I move out of the way, letting Roy and the dogs in. All heading to the dining room. I follow behind them. Seeing Bear our great dane trying to get on Jason's lap.

“Bear, get down, his lap is not big enough for you, nor are you light.” Bear got done and trotted over to me, nudging my thigh to tell me to pet him.

“I should bring Titus and Ace over sometime. I think they would love playing with each other.” Damian says.

“I wouldn’t mind that give them a chance to get all their energy out.” I walk over a sit on the arm of Jason’s chair since Roy took mine.

“What’s this one’s name?” Tim says, petting Grim.

“That’s Grim. Despite his name, he is the biggest sweetheart, unless someone tries to fuck with me or Jason.”

“Yeah, I know that first hand.” Roy says.

“Roy and Jason were rough housing in the backyard and Grim didn’t really like that and almost bit Roy.”

“There was also that one time that guy broke into the apartment when I was home getting ready for patrol and Grim knew the dude was not a friend nor was meant to be there a bit on his leg. The dude was bleeding like a bitch.” Jay said.

“You got some good guard dogs.” Bruce says.

“Yeah, but most of the time there are big softies and they also get along with all the cats well. Sometimes Richy and Brucie sleep on Bear if he’s lying done.”

“Thats cute.” Dick says. I nodded and notice Bruce look at his watch. Must be time to head out on patrol. Bruce confirms my suspicion by saying, “We unfortunately got to get going. it’s almost time for patrol.”

“Alright, well, I’m glad you guys came over. We should do this again sometime.”

“That sounds lovely.” Alfred said as he stood up, the others except for Roy doing the same. Me and Jason lead them to the door, saying our goodbyes to the family. Once they were gone, I turned to Jason.

“I’m glad they loved my fur babies.”

“Me too, love, me too.”

“Yeah, how about you get ready for patrol while I clean up and annoy Roy?”

“Sounds good.” He says placing a kiss on my forehead before walking to the back room where he kept his red hood stuff. I let out a sigh and return to the dining room to find Roy finish off the wing and pizza. I smile. If Jay wasn’t a phenomenal cook, then Roy and I would be eating take out almost every night. God, I love Jason so fucking much.

#jason todd #batfamily #dc #jason todd x male reader #jason todd x reader #batfamily x male reader #batfamily x reader #dc x male reader #dc x reader

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primofate · 3 years ago

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2K Followers Event: Pancake and Waffle Cafe Masterlist

Nutella Waffles (overhearing and misunderstanding a conversation/situation) MODERN AU ANGST

Characters: Childe, Kazuha, Thoma, Albedo, Kaeya, Zhongli, fem!reader

Warnings: not proofread :D, cheating, fighting, insulting, misunderstanding (duh), pregnancy, sexual innuendos, implying sex, mentions of sex, still SFW though, of course I bent the lore since it’s an AU

Notes: I had trouble with this so I decided to make it a modern AU. That’s also why it took so long. I think my brain is starting to run dry XD I mean, there’s only so much situations/conversations I could think of that could be misunderstood. Still, enjoy!

Childe

"Ah, sorry, Y/N, I can’t walk you home today... Maybe tomorrow?” Childe smiled at you, scratching the back of his head, his school bag swung over his shoulder already. He looked like he was in a hurry.

It’s been a few days like this and you really didn’t know what was happening. You asked him if he needed help with stuff at home or if he was having a hard time with his homework and if that’s why he was always rushing off. He would just give you the same smile and wave a hand. “It’s nothing like that,” and then off he’d go.

The next day, as you walk towards his classroom during lunchtime you hear him and his friends talking before you even reach the classroom door.

“Zoe is totally cute,” Childe says. The voice he uses is something that he’d never used on you before. You freeze in your tracks and try to listen in more. “Wow, she really is! Great job picking her!” one of his friends said and it sounded as if they’d hit Childe on the back as a congratulations. “Let me see, let me see,” another one says followed by a gasp. “Have you taken her out yet?” Childe laughs nervously and you know all too well without even looking at him that he’s probably scratching his head. “No, not yet,”

“Does your girlfriend know yet?” Someone else asks.

And then you hear a laugh that’s all too mischievous. All too playful. All too heart-wrenching. “She doesn’t know!” and they continue to laugh.

You turn away and try your hardest not to let tears escape from your eyes. It felt as if you were being laughed at. Like everyone knew that he was cheating. Everyone except you. It doesn’t help that there was a Zoe in the other class too. The way his friends laughed made your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and the tears you were so desperately holding back to finally flow through.

You ended up staying in the washroom for the whole of lunch time, staying in a cubicle for an extra few minutes, late for the next class.

Somehow you didn’t expect Childe to still show up in your classroom to pick you up for the day and walk you home. You stare at him at the classroom door, your eyes had already gone back to their normal shade, but still glossy. He doesn’t notice, he has a big smile on his face that mocks you. Ridicules you.

“Y/N! Let’s go together today!” Does he feel guilty? Is that why he finally agrees to walk home with you? Cause he’s had his fill of Zoe already? You don’t say a word and exit the classroom, going past him. Childe blinks, and turns to watch you walking away from him. “Y/N?”

He walks after you, and takes his place next to you. He touches the strap of your backpack, as usual, and says “I’ll take this--”

“I got it,” you reply curtly and move away from him. He’s dumbfounded, eyes still a little wide at your sudden coldness. Now he’s getting anxious. Did he do something wrong? “H-Hey...Y/N, are you mad because I didn’t walk home with you the past couple days? See, I was just--”

“I’m not that petty!” You nearly growl at him, holding his gaze for a few seconds before walking off again. Your eyes are starting to prickle with more tears. You just wanted to get home. As soon as you can. Away from him. You didn’t have the heart to break up with him face to face. You liked him too much, you knew you wouldn’t be able to do it while looking at his handsome face.

Then, he snatches your wrist and pulls you back towards him. The school hallways are emptying out, there’s a few students walking by who ignore the two of you. “Then what’s the matter? I don’t like it when we fight. At least tell me what I did!”

You wrench your wrist away from his and start sniffing. He stands there, shocked at where your tears are coming from. Until you start talking. “I heard you, during lunch time,” his eyebrows furrow. “Lunch...time?” He mumbles, not following. “When you were talking about your cute Zoe!” He doesn’t say anything for a moment and that only confirms your fears.

He’d been looking at other girls, and probably wanting them.

“...Y/N, Zoe is...” Childe scratched his cheek, averting his eyes away.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you try to turn away, but he doesn’t let you and holds your shoulders with his hands, staring straight at you. “My dog,” You were crying at this point, and when you hear his next words your eyes narrow. “W-What?”

“Zoe is my new dog,”

“B-But your friend asked if you took her out yet...”

“Yeah,” Childe tilted his head, “for a walk?” As you start to connect the dots he takes out his phone and shows you the picture of a cute miniature poodle, it had a collar and a silver tag on it that said “Zoe”. You thought that you might cry again at how cute she was but you just glare up at Childe. “Well, I didn’t tell you cause I was gunna surprise you. I’ve been going home early these days cause we had to go visit the pound a few times and finalize the papers and everything...”

“I-Is that true? Is that all it is?” You sniff, now wiping your stupid tears away. Childe smiles down at you and takes your hands away from your face, replacing it with his, thumbing away the streaks of wetness. “Y/N, no one can ever replace you,” you sniff and let him dote on you. You’d been missing him for a while anyway.

“...Well except Zoe, maybe Zoe can,” he’s clearly teasing you and you don’t hesitate to lift your fist and punch him on the shoulder, earning a small “Ow,” from him followed by a laugh. “I’m just kidding, how ‘bout you come over and visit her today? It’s only her second day home!”

Thoma

You’d made an appointment with your friend a long time ago. Just a quick lunch and catch up date. Thoma had graciously volunteered to drive you to the mall where you were meeting up with her.

“You sure you don’t need me to pick you up? It’s Saturday. I’m free,” he flashes you a smile, his eyes darting towards you only for a second before going back to the road. “I’ll be fine hun, I’ll take the bus home,” you reply to him.

Halfway through your journey he says that he needs to buy something from a convenience store, and so he parks the car properly and grabs his wallet. His phone is on the car phone stand and you pay no heed to it until a soft ‘ding’ makes you pick your head up to look at the screen.

Your best friend’s name pops up, she’s messaged him and your blood runs cold.

“I’ll come over when Y/N’s gone,” the message read. Your heart is already at your throat, and you don’t know what to think. What is this make-believe situation that you’re suddenly in. Is this really happening? Your eyes dart upwards to look at the door of the convenience store. You could see Thoma was still looking at the shelves.

You gulp and you wonder what the right thing to do is. Invade his privacy and peek at his messages? Let it go? Confront him? Cry? Another ‘ding’ fills up the car.

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So...” you couldn’t read the rest of the message, it being cut off but you were already spiraling down the hole of despair. How could he? Your sweet and loyal Thoma ended up going behind your back with your best friend. You thought you were going to be sick, you actually had to roll the windows of the car down to get some fresh air, just as Thoma came out of the convenience store door with a plastic bag.

You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t even be in the same space as him. You were going to cancel today with your friend, you didn’t think you’d be able to function properly. When he sat on the driver’s seat and saw you looking out the window, he didn’t think much of it and revved the engine up. “Ready hu--”

“Take me to my sister’s place,” Thoma blinked and turned to you, confused. “But, what about your lunch date today, dear?”

“I don’t feel like going. My sister’s place is nearby, just drop me off there,” Your hands were already typing a reply to the friend that you were about to stand up on, but you couldn’t even think of what to do or say.

“Dear is everything okay?” He asked while backing the car up, arm outstretched to your side while he’s looking at the rear. He was appalled by your sudden mood change. You didn’t answer but he hears you sniff and he immediately stops the car again. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” He’s alarmed that you’re crying and he reaches to cup your chin and tilt it towards him but you move your face away from him.

“Y/N?” he asked, the confusion in his voice is actually genuine and you can hear a bit of panic in it. “How long have you been seeing Aya?” you spit the words as if they’re poison and the car is quiet. You laugh bitterly. “I thought so, cat got your tongue, huh?”

Thoma shook himself out of his confusion to say, “No, wait, I don’t know what you mean,” You scoff at him. You’re shocked at the amount of resentment you had, you trusted this man and yet this is what happens. “Yeah? Why is she sneaking into our house then?” You point at his phone, the screen is still lit up because of the messages and there were more coming in from your best friend.

Thoma snatches the phone away from the stand and looks at it. Then, he deflates and slumps back on his seat. “Y/N, it’s not what you think,” You hate that line so much. You cross your arms and say, “Just drop me at my sister’s house,”

“Y/N--”

“NOW!”

The drive was quiet. You didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to push you but didn’t want to drop you off to your sister’s without explaining as well. So, just before your sister’s block, he parks on the side and unbuckles his seat belt, then opens your side of the door. “Y/N, listen to me,” he’s rarely this assertive, but you still don’t listen. He’s blocking your escape path.

“It’s your birthday today,” Thoma starts and you blink, completely forgetting about it. “Ayu is sneaking in our house while you’re gone because we were going to set up a surprise for you.” He says slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. Your eyes widen, and you relax in your seat. He gives you his phone and urges you, “Go on, Y/N, you know my passcode right? I don’t hide anything from you, you can read the rest,”

You hesitate, but accept his offer and type it in.

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So we can set up the balloons,”

“I got the cake don’t forget the candles and lighter,”

Thoma picks up his other hand that had the white plastic bag from the convenience store, he picks up the two items from inside. Birthday candles. And a lighter.

Your mouth opens, but you can’t say anything and you only bury your face in your hands out of shame. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry Thoma, I--” He manages to let out a laugh and kisses the top of your head. “I’m so stupid. I trust you, I really do, I just--” now you’re not sure if you’re crying out of relief or embarrassment. “I’m so sorry,” You can’t say anything else and he only kisses you on the forehead again.

“It’s alright, you can make it up to me by going on that lunch date, okay? You deserve the rest. You haven’t cancelled yet have you? Let’s freshen up at your sister’s place and I’ll send you to the mall,”

You nod your head, small smile on your face. This was gunna be one story to tell in the future.

“Oh and it would help if you act surprised when you come home,” Thoma adds with a full laugh that you join in on.

Kaeya

"So how are you and Y/N?”

It’d only been a couple of months of the two of you dating. Kaeya was handsome, gallant and he knew exactly what to say to people. It wasn’t a secret that he was quite popular in school.

Little old you was just another girl in just another class.

“Good, I think,” Kaeya responds, you smile around the corner, hidden from sight, knowing that he was taking a juice box break with his friends. “It’s a little annoying though,” your smile drops and your head tilts sideways in question. “I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,”

Keep me away? You think. Am I too clingy? You hear them exchange words a bit more, but none of the other words process in your head. Their laughter spurs you out of your thoughts and you return to your classroom dumbfounded.

When the bell rang for dismissal you immediately packed and walked home by yourself. Kaeya was confused when he arrived at your classroom door, and found that you weren’t there anymore. “...Hey, did Y/N go home?” he asked one of your passing classmates. “Yeah, she went out pretty fast,”

Now he was worried. Did something happen at home? He takes his phone out as he’s out the school building, tapping your name and calling, only for the call to not even connect. His brows furrow but nonetheless, he goes home for today and types in a message for you.

“Hey, you okay? Talk to me if you need something,”

The next day, when he usually waits outside your door for you to come out, he realizes that you’re a little late and further realizes that you weren’t going to come out. He wasn’t about to knock on your door, your parents didn’t know about him yet.

He tries to call you again but he’s met with the same result as yesterday. He sighs and looks up at the sky while he’s walking. He hasn’t seen you for nearly a full day now, and he doesn’t realize how long a full day is until now. He just wants to see your smiling face again and he starts to wonder if he’d done something wrong.

By lunchtime, he’s sprinting towards your classroom as soon as the bell rings, wondering if you were there. Indeed, finally, he spots you in your classroom and his shoulders slump in relief only to tense up again when he sees a guy in your class talking to you, and you, smiling happily.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you, waving his hand. You look away from your conversation to him and he notices how your smile turns into a tight line on your face. His own smile drops, but you walk out of the classroom anyway and address him. “Yes?” He blinks down at your tone of voice. “U-Uh... Wanna have lunch together?”

“...But it’s annoying that I’m clingy right?” The two of you unconsciously move away from the door to out in the hallway, so that you’re not blocking the way of people coming in and out. He narrows his eyes in confusion. Where is this coming from? “I--No, what do you mean? I never said that,”

“Yesterday, you said you can’t keep me away and it’s annoying,” you averted your gaze, feeling your eyes start to water. Kaeya reels back a little, replaying things in his mind, trying to remember if he said something like that. And, with a light bulb moment, his face breaks into a grin and slight laughter. You glare up at him, “What? It’s funny?”

Kaeya places a hand on your shoulder and explains while smiling. “Y/N, you didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation, did you?”

---What really happened---

“It’s really annoying though. I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,” he sips on his juice box again.

One of his friends pipe up, “Dude that’s a little harsh,”

Kaeya blinks. Once, twice and thrice. Until it dawns on him. “Oh, no, I meant that I can’t keep her away from other people,” he grins and leans both his elbows on the windowsill. “She doesn’t realize that she’s super friendly, and other people like talking to her a lot. Whenever I go to her classroom she’s always talking to different people.”

His friends make a sound of understanding. “I wish I could just keep her to myself,” and continues sipping on his juice.

“That’s really cheesy, even for you, Kaeya,” one of his friends say and the lot of them starts laughing.

---That’s what really happened---

It was your turn to blink at him, confused. “S-So...”

Kaeya pats your head and smiles. “You can ask my friends if it makes you feel better,”

A small blush crosses your cheeks and you duck your head to hide it. It earns yet another chuckle from him. Your moment is interrupted by another guy who approaches the two of you. “Hey, Y/N, if you’re free, do you think you could help me out with this? I don’t really understand it,”

Kaeya just looks at the guy and sighs, then turns to you again. “See what I mean?” to which you just goofily smile at.

Kazuha

“You saw what?”

Your hands freeze, holding the book you were reading open. The living room had gotten lively again, seeing as your little brother had come home from school. “I saw Kazuha with a girl,”

You try to keep your face composed. It was a school day. You’d stayed home because you weren’t feeling too well. Your brother was saying it without a care in the world. He was just a grade schooler and telling you about the things he observed. He was looking through the fridge for something to drink.

You didn’t ask more, but you were DYING to know more. Kazuha didn’t mention going anywhere today... You picked your phone up and wondered if you should ask him. Your phone had blown up this morning cause he didn’t see you at school and he was wondering if you were alright.

But it seems that Kazuha himself was having a grand time too.

“So...T-The girl...Did they look close?”

Your little brother closes the fridge and looks at you while drinking from a milk carton. “Mm...They were holding each other...” You bit your lip as tingles run down your spine. They weren’t the good kind. It was the kind that you get when you watch horror movies and or a drama movie and a revelation had just happened. You were silent for a moment, but in your mind you were already thinking of how Kazuha looked with another girl. Holding each other? What did your brother mean? Like...hugging? Or...? But you couldn’t ask him about that, could you?!

You sighed out loud and slammed the book you were reading down on the table, just as your phone started ringing. “Kazuha,” you whispered under your breath and looked at your phone screen. Well...you believed in him, and you thought the best way to clear this up is to talk to him about it.

So, you grabbed your phone and retreated into your bedroom to talk to him. You picked up the call, “Kazu-kun?”

“Y/N,” he greeted. Even apart, his voice has this effect on you. Like he was really there and breathing into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You were sure that you were blushing. “How are you? Are you feeling better?” His voice is smooth and calm and you melt into your bed. “Yeah, a little,”

“Could I come over later? I just want to check on you,” You smile into your phone and close your eyes. Kazuha could never do that to you, you think to yourself. But still, you really wanted to ask. “Of course, I don’t think my parents would mind...Hey,” you start, your fingers nervously drawing circles on your pillow. “My brother said he saw you...with a girl,”

There’s silence on the other line, and you can hear him shifting a little. “A...girl?” He repeats the question and you bite your lip. He sounds unsure and now you were unsure too. “Yeah, he said that you were holding on to each other...or something,” Again some silence, until he makes a sound of understanding.

“Ah, he must mean Sango,” there’s a little lilt to his voice, like he was happy and you were a little jealous. “Sango’s my cousin, she came to surprise me for my birthday week.” Kazuha laughs nervously and adds a little hesitantly. “She...uhm...would like to meet you actually, is it okay if I bring her over today?”

Your heart sighs in relief, as do you and you don’t realize that you’ve done that out loud. In the next moment though, you smile and nod, even though he can’t see you. “Of course! Bring her over!”

Albedo (More fluff than angst)

Cleaning at home was one of the things you did to get your mind off of things. Some people would call it tedious, but to you, it was sort of relaxing. It was something easy to do, you didn’t need much of your brain, just motor memory. Folding. Laundry. Ironing. Sweeping. Basic chores.

But when you clean up in the bedroom you shared with your boyfriend, and found a neatly wrapped present, red wrapping paper and blue ribbon tied on the top with a tag that said “To: Leila” you’re a little dumbfounded.

Who’s Leila? Is your first thought. Your second thought is, what’s inside? You hold the nicely wrapped box in your hand and turn it all over, trying to get some type of hint. A flash of doubt seeps into your mind but you shake it away. Albedo isn’t like that...Is he? He’s always so dedicated to his scientific research and sure he comes home late sometimes but he always makes it up to you on the weekends...

So who’s Leila? You ask yourself again. And why hasn’t he mentioned it to you? Why didn’t he ask YOU to wrap it? Menial tasks like these were usually passed on to you. You bite your thumb just thinking about it, but in the end just leave the present where you find it.

Later that night as you’re fixing dinner, you aren’t as bothered by the gift as when you first saw it. But it’s still there at the back of your mind and it resurfaces to the front when you hear the familiar keys rattle. Despite that, as he snakes his arms around your waist from behind you can’t help but smile and melt a little, pressing back against him as he leans over to kiss your cheek. “...Smells nice,” he simply mumbles and closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of both you and your home.

“Welcome back,” you say, while closing the lid on the pot and turning around to give him a proper kiss on the lips. He hums into the kiss as a response and pulls you away from the stove. “How’s your day?” he asks you first and you smile, because your day is nearly the same time and time again. “Fine, I did find a little secret though...” you start and peek up at his beautiful eyes.

He nods to ask you to continue. “A present, nicely wrapped. and it’s addressed to someone called Leila,” He looks down at you and you stare at him. A moment passes by before he takes his arms back and go into his thinking pose. “...Leila...?” he asks, eyes averting from your gaze. You wonder if he’s pretending. You wonder if he’s trying to make an excuse up. “...I don’t--” and then his eyebrows twitch. “Ah,” he says and drops his arms to his side.

“We were invited to a birthday party, remember? By a co-worker,” he tucks in strands of your hair as he talks. “It’s her daughter’s first birthday...I don’t care much for such things but you insisted it’d be alright to go.” he chuckles a little. “Her daughter’s name is Leila,”

You make a sound of understanding. Suddenly your hesitant thoughts wither away. “Hmmm? You could’ve asked me to wrap the present,” Albedo pulls away from you and towards the fridge, wanting a glass of water. “The wrapping wasn’t done by me, it was the shop, free service,” and so it made more sense.

And although you want to ask more questions, like where he got it, when and what’s inside, you realize it’s such a trivial thing. It was not worth that much time. A gift is a gift, and you turn back to continue making dinner while making idle conversation with him.

Zhongli (Warning: Suggestive) (but this is also my personal favourite... aha...)

“Zhongli?” You arrive home a little early today, dropping your keys at the front shelf. You don’t hear him anywhere and you shuffle around your living room for a while, looking at the letters for today.

He was on a work from home arrangement today, and he would usually be in his office. You were quite sure that he would’ve come out to greet you though, if he heard you. He must be busy at the moment.

You’d wanted to wash your hands as soon as you came home, and went for the guest washroom. When you open the door, your eyes land on something on the counter, next to the sink. This bathroom was always kept clean for visitors. You liked to host people once in a while, or just invite friends and you took pride in having them comfortable in your house.

Your eyes narrow as you go closer and your hands pick up a pregnancy test that was lying there.

It was positive.

You put it back down and shudder a little. You don’t remember getting a pregnancy test. You bite your lip and look at yourself in the mirror. You’re already jumping to conclusions, and you can’t help it. Who the hell would leave a pregnancy test in YOUR guest bathroom? Zhongli didn’t mention anything...

You sigh a breath out and close the bathroom door behind you, taking your phone out to text your best friend.

“There’s a positive pregnancy test in our guest bathroom,”

After a moment, there’s a reply.

“OMG Are you preggers?!”

“No, it’s not mine,”

The next reply takes a moment more. “Oh, maybe ask him?” and you know that your friend hadn’t known what to reply at that moment. Because a random positive pregnancy test in your guest bathroom was NOT a good sign. To top it off, you didn’t announce to Zhongli that you were coming home early today.

Your perk up when you hear noise from the other room. You open the bathroom door slightly, and hear the unmistakable low voice of your fiance, coupled with...the voice of another woman. You close the bathroom door again, not bothering to lock it, and sit on the closed toilet seat. You’re sitting there with nothing in your mind, unable to think.

A few minutes later the voices are louder, they’ve moved to the living room, right outside the bathroom you were in. You tense up, and your jaw tightens. You don’t want to see them. You don’t want to hear them. For a moment you wish that you didn’t come home early, and just pretend this didn’t happen, but the door to the bathroom door opens, leaving you eye to eye with a woman you recognize.

Luna was a beautiful woman. Long cascading brown hair, they’re wavy and stops right at her waist. Doll-like blue eyes and a slender body. She sees you sitting there and you feel stupid, but she just breaks into a grin. “Y/N!” she grabs you by the wrist and pulls you out of the bathroom before you could even say anything. You’re numb, so you don’t respond to anything around you.

Zhongli turns around wide-eyed to see you standing there meekly, not meeting his gaze. He still goes to you though and asks curiously. “When did you come in? I didn’t hear you,” he places a hand on your arm while Luna releases you, but you still don’t look up and he wonders if something happened at your workplace to make you come home so early. “Luna and Childe stopped by,” Zhongli says, in at attempt to cheer you up. You look up, and only then did you realize that Childe was there too, talking animatedly to Luna. You tilt your head sideways, “They came with a surprise. Ah, but it’s not mine to tell,”

That’s right... Luna and Childe had been together for a while and then it hits you when Luna shows you the same positive pregnancy test you saw on the counter, and announces that she’s pregnant. Your eyes are wide. You can’t tell if you’re more relieved that it wasn’t what you thought or more happy for your friends. You feel horrible about it but you manage to crack a smile and went along with the festivities. The more time passed the more you were able to enjoy their happiness and by the time they left, that was the only time you sighed and let your shoulders slump, exhausted.

“Is something the matter?” Zhongli asked. He noticed how your smiles were a tad bit forced. How you seemed to enjoy everything but also seemed to be on edge. You turn to him and shook your head. “It’s...stupid. It’s my mistake,” but he holds on to your waist and urges you to tell him.

And you tell him. How you came home and saw what you saw in the guest bathroom, what you thought it was and how you felt. The only thing you can feel now is embarrassment and shame. You couldn’t even feel happy for your friend. Zhongli only smiles and combs his hand through your hair. “It’s the normal reaction,” he reassures you, again trying to make you feel better. You only respond with your own hug but his next sentence makes you flustered, all thoughts of earlier gone as he whispers into your ear.

“Would you like your own positive pregnancy test?”

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mint-chip-cigarettes · 2 years ago

Text

Desert Dancing

Nacho Varga x Lalo Salamanca

Highly recommend popping on some Buena Vista Social Club for the Vibes.

- - - - - -

Darkness had well and truly settled over the massive compound.

The party that never seemed to end had quieted to an almost dignified affair as the cool breeze swept in off the desert sands to chase away the last of the days heat.

And consequently sending string-bikinis aplenty running for the indoor hot tub.

A high-pitched giggle and a playful screech echoed down from a second story window – breaking the quietude of the crackling wood fire and the mellow guitar still audible from Nachos hideaway.

The man let out a long sigh through his nose at the interruption.

Whatever alcohol Don Eladio had been serving was a barely distinguishable flavor on his tongue by this point in the evening, and Nacho supposed that was a testament to its quality as much as anything.

No bitter, gasoline aftertaste to remind him of why he was here.

No edge to match the twin feeling deep in his gut.

Whatever it was, it burned slow and steady like the red, glowing coals at the bottom of the fireplace he sat next to – warming him into a relaxed state he knew he should reject with his entire being.

A complacent man around Don’s and Salamanca’s could very very soon find himself a dead man.

“Ey! Nachito! There you are!”

Speak of the devil.

Lalo swaggered towards Nachos quiet corner of the yard with a surety Nacho could only assume was half-born, half-alcohol as the taller man looked about as inebriated as he’d ever seen him.

A heavy crystal decanter swung carelessly from the Don’s hand. Half-full and dark amber.

Settling himself into the chair next to Nacho with a huff, Lalo wasted no time in clinking a pair of expensive-looking glasses down onto the table between them and filling each with a more than healthy amount.

“Did we scare you away?” Lalo teased, grinning that cat-like smile over at Nacho.

Snorting, the lieutenant didn’t deign to reply – ignoring the Don as well as the second glass he’d scooted closer to Nacho with one long finger.

Pouting at the other man’s dismissal, Lalo leaned back in his chair – sliding a paisley-covered arm across the space to swing halfway in the air.

He took a long sip from his glass.

Nacho glanced over with a blank expression, finally giving Lalo the attention he seemed to want.

Chuckling around his glass, the Salamanca scion made a show of swallowing with a slight grimace.

“I don’t blame you for sticking with the tequila. The rum is…”

He made a waving motions with his free hand – stretching it farther to settle over the back of his companions chair.

“When we get back to my house I’ll get you some of the really good stuff.”

Nacho nodded.

“Okay.”

Lalo’s mustache twitched slightly at his taciturn reply.

Not the type to be dissuaded so easily, the Don laughed lightly, reaching out to slap Nacho on the shoulder.

“Hey, you did good today, Nacho. Real good. A caballero de los Salamanca’s in the making.”

Nachos eyes flicked up to meet Lalo’s.

There were no words in any language to describe how much he didn’t want to be the Salamanca’s caballero.

Not even back when it had just been him and Tuco.

And especially not for Lalo.

“I’ll have the car ready to take us back to the states tomorrow.”

There was too much to do stateside anyway.

Collections to be made, Fring to satisfy, his papa to… what?

Nacho half-wished he’d listened to Manuel when he’d advised his son to call the cops.

A life looking over his shoulder or one caught between a rock and a hard place.

No part of him could decide if one sounded better than the other right now.

“You dance, Nachito?”

Nacho blinked back to the present.

“What?”

Lalo perked up, moving around in his chair a bit and snapping his fingers to the beat of the guitar still playing across the yard.

“You know – dance. You take your girls to the salsa club?”

Nacho scoffed a bit at the idea.

“No. That’s – no. That’s not our scene.”

Sighing, Lalo rolled his eyes dramatically.

“You can, though?”

“Can what?”

“Dance! Oh for – Nacho, if you tell me this guitar doesn’t make you want to get up and swing your hips a little I’ll be very disappointed.”

Letting out a breathy laugh, Nacho relaxed back to stare at Lalo.

“I think my dad listens to this stuff.”

His brow furrowed at the focused look on the others face.

“You’re serious?! Shit, Lalo. I don’t know - That’s not how I dance!”

The older man let out a long, exasperated breath – clapping his hands against his knees and rising to his feet.

He turned to look down at Nacho expectantly.

A long-fingered hand was extended - palm up and waiting.

“Well?”

“… You’re shitting me.”

Lalo grinned.

“If you don’t step on my loafers I might even let you lead.”

Nacho stared up at the other – dumbfounded and floundering for an excuse to get out of the Don’s impromptu dance-class.

“I… someone’s gonna see.”

Lalo made a show of peering around the corner, poking his head up over the small wall of topiary cordoning them off from the rest of the party.

Well damn, Nacho didn’t know his desire for privacy would come back to bite him like this

Scrubbing a hand over his scalp in agitation, Nacho glared minutely up at the Salamanca – who was already swaying and moving in time with the beat.

“Fine. One song.”

Lalo smiled brightly, stepping far too close into Nachos personal space.

“Of course. I’ve got other things to do tonight, you know.”

Bastard.

Letting out an aggrieved sigh, Nacho reached for the other, only to have his wrists caught and held firmly.

“You said I could lead.”

“There was a big If in that statement, Nachito. These are expensive shoes.”

“Jesus Christ…”

Nacho frowned sharply as a long-fingered hand settled at his waist.

“Hand on my shoulder, Nacho. Let’s do this right.”

Nacho was going to kill him. Forget whatever Fring was planning, he’d do it his damn self he’d –

Suddenly Lalo was right there.

Filling every one of Nachos senses and leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“There. Much better…”

Tense was too kind of a word to describe how Nacho felt as Lalo grasped his hand with uncharacteristic gentleness.

Though, was it really uncharacteristic?

He’d seen how Lalo could be almost sweet – like he’d been earlier with Yolanda at the hacienda… hell, even with Hector in the nursing home…

God. He was an idiot.

Lalo wasn’t sweet.

Lalo was a predator. A pack animal.

If he seemed kind it was the ploy of a wild dog wagging its tail.

No sane person would mistake a wolf for a pet.

“Nacho…”

Clearing his throat, the lieutenant blinked up at the taller man.

Lalo was close enough to smell the alcohol on his breath, tempered by his expensive cologne.

A whiff of engine grease made Nacho shiver involuntarily.

“Ready?”

Nacho watched Lalo swallow hard as they stared at each other.

Not nearly as unaffected as he pretended to be.

They stood for a moment – almost chest to chest and waiting – as the heat that had departed with the sun lit back bright and hot in the space between them.

The younger licked his suddenly dry lips and watched the taller Don track the small movement with his eyes.

Jesus…

“… Lalo…”

“LALOOOO!!!”

“LALO SALAMANCA!!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!!”

A loud, drunken call interrupted their quiet, and Nacho sprang away like he’d been burned.

Lalo stood, statue like, still watching him go with an indefinable look in his eyes.

Rustling branches signaled the arrival of more people to the area and, like a switch had been flicked, Lalo turned with arms outstretched and a smile on his face to greet Eladio and the other Dons.

Unruffled and unbothered.

As if he hadn’t just been holding Nacho like…

Fuck.

Nacho hung back as far as he dared while the party pulled them back into its ebbs and flow.

The guitar continued to play – moving on to a more uptempo tune in response to the bikini-clad women starting to writhe about for the group’s enjoyment.

But even watching this, Nacho couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment that the slow, soulful strains were gone.

That he hadn’t taken that first step.

He glanced over across the pool to where Lalo stood laughing; surrounded by men and woman and holding court as only he could.

Dark eyes moved casually across the yard – looking for something.

Nacho didn’t let himself hope it was him.

Turning on his heel, Nacho strode quickly back to his corner.

Where he’d left his tequila and his fire and apparently his damn mind.

His step hitched just a little as he finally settled on a word to describe the look Lalo had given him.

It didn’t change a thing.

It didn’t matter.

It was hunger.

#lacho #better call saul #lalo salamanca #my writing #well here it is kids #nacho varga

29 notes · View notes

searidings · 4 years ago

Note

please write the zoo au 🙇

if you’re looking for something to blame for this, here’s the culprit

“…cockroaches.”

“Yes.”

Kara squints. “Like, the creepy-crawly little bugs we freeze in the thousands to feed to the animals.”

“The very same.”

“And you want me to… name them?”

Cat sighs so heavily that had she been standing, she probably would have fallen over. “You’re not naming them, Keira. Do try to keep up. Patrons can pay $5 to name a cockroach after their ex. You will then feed these named cockroaches to the animals. For $25 people can also name a frozen rat.”

Kara gapes. “So I’m feeding animals named after people to other animals?”

“If you think that displaying the comprehension skills of an elementary schooler is going to impress me, you’re sorely mistaken,” Cat says dryly, her tone bored as she shuffles the stacks of papers on her desk. “Thank you for reminding me that I didn’t hire you for your intellect.”

Kara ignores the dig. She’s had plenty of practice over the past five years. “But doesn’t that seem a little…. mean?”

“You’re worried about the feelings of a frozen dead cockroach?”

Kara huffs, digging her hands deep into the pockets of her green NC Zoo fleece. “Not the bugs. The people the bugs are named after. The people watching themselves in bug form be fed to a lizard, or whatever.”

Cat hums, tapping her pen thoughtfully against her chin. “I suppose we’d also better appeal to the bleeding-heart animal lovers out there if we want to maximise sales. We’ll introduce a vegetarian option as well: $5 to name a cabbage after your ex to be fed to our herbivores. I’ll let Olsen know.”

“But—”

“Keira.” Cat’s voice clicks into its most chilling no-bullshit tone and Kara winces, fighting the urge to cower at her boss’ feet. “This programme will almost singlehandedly fund the renovation of our giant panda enclosure. Do you not want the pandas to have water to swim in and bamboo to nibble on, Ms Danvers? Do you want them to go extinct?”

Kara blanches. Everybody knows the pandas are her favourites. “No, of course not, I just—”

“Good,” Cat snaps. “National City Zoo’s Cry Me a Cockroach event will be going ahead from tomorrow, and I will expect your full support every step of the way.”

Kara sighs. “Sure thing, boss.”

“Oh, and Keira,” Cat calls as Kara’s halfway out of her office. “You’re going to be the public face of this event. All the naming and feeding will be broadcast across our social media livestreams. Winslow in tech support will help you get everything set up.”

“Me?” Kara gapes. “Why?”

Cat quirks an appraising eyebrow, making no secret of the fact that she’s giving Kara a discerning once-over. “You fit the image that will draw in viewers,” she drawls, eyeing the planes of Kara’s shoulders, the lines of her thighs beneath her standard-issue cargo pants. “Can’t say that I see it myself, but I suppose you do have a certain… appeal.”

Kara feels her cheeks turn an immediate shade of scarlet, shuffling her feet awkwardly. “I, um. Thanks?”

“That wasn’t a compliment,” Cat says smoothly, eyes never leaving her laptop screen. “Go away now. And do a good job on this, Keira. We really need the extra income.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Oh, and one more thing,” Cat calls. “Anything you can do to jazz up these streams, don’t hold back. This is basically a PR stunt— it won’t hurt to give the people a show.”

“So, we’ve got all the purchase summaries right here on this tablet,” Winn says, fiddling with the inordinate number of screens and cameras currently pointing right at Kara. “So we’ll get a shot of the rat or roach, then you read out the name of the person who made the purchase, and the name they’ve given to their animal. Maybe the background story, if they’ve submitted one. Then feed the poor bastard to the— the—”

“The snake?” Kara supplies cheerily, stroking the head of the Jamaican yellow boa constrictor currently draped over her shoulders.

Winn shudders, fighting down his gag reflex. “I will never understand how you can touch that thing.”

“You work at a zoo, Winn,” she chides. “How can you be scared of snakes? Noodle is a creature that needs our love and care, just like all the others.”

“Noodle?” Winn squeaks. “You named a snake that probably weighs more than you do Noodle?”

“Only unofficially,” Kara sighs. “Cat says I have to stop getting so attached to the animals.”

Winn gapes at her. “You know what, we don’t have time to unpack that right now.” He adjusts the lighting outside the enclosure, turning Kara this way and that until he finds the perfect angle. “So the main thing is to keep things fun and engaging. We’re aiming for numbers here. If this doesn’t go viral, Cat will have my nuts on a silver platter.”

“You’re so crass,” Kara scolds. “He’s so crass,” she murmurs to the snake wrapped around her abdomen, stroking its head again. Noodle flicks his tongue out in response, tasting the air. Kara takes it as an agreement.

“Oh, and if part of the summary is shaded red, it’s because the purchaser asked for the information to remain confidential,” Winn continues, adjusting camera angles and making sure the Facebook, Instagram and Twitter livestreams are up and running. “So don’t read that bit.”

“Red means no,” Kara salutes. “Gotcha.”

“Alright, ready?” Winn asks, and Kara sucks in a deep breath. At least Noodle doesn’t care that her palms are sweating. “We’re live.”

“Hey, hi. I’m Kara Danvers, head zookeeper here at National City Zoo,” Kara starts, eyes flicking rapidly between the three cameras trained on her. Where is she supposed to look? If she looks at one feed for too long, will the others feel neglected? Will viewers tune out? Does she have to keep glancing between the three of them like she’s watching a three-way tennis match? What if—

Behind the camera, Winn clears his throat. “Chill,” he mouths silently from the far side of the intimidating assortment of screens, and Kara forces herself to heed his advice.

“Welcome to Cry Me a Cockroach,” she continues, voice steadying as she manages to get her rapid breathing under control. “Thank you so much to everyone who’s purchased a rat or a cockroach so far— all your donations will go toward the renovation of our giant panda enclosure! For anyone who hasn’t gotten around to their vermin vengeance yet, the event will be running through the end of the month.”

She reaches up to adjust Noodle so he’s slung more comfortably over her shoulders and then grabs the first container of frozen rats. “Alright, well. This guy’s hungry, so we’d better get started before he decides to eat me!” She winks at the camera, laughing when Noodle’s forked tongue darts out to flicker against her cheek.

“I’m just joking. Jamaican yellow boas like Noodle only eat small prey like birds, bats, or today, rats!” she grins, running a hand over the snake’s sleek body. “But maybe he’ll make an exception just this once for our tech guy, Winn.”

She steps closer to the camera and extends an arm, Noodle poking his head towards Winn in interest. Winn shrieks at the snake’s approach, tripping over wires and plugs as he scrambles backwards, landing flat on his ass on the ground.

Kara grins, drawing the snake closer to her body again and extending her hand. “High five,” she grins at the snake, and Noodle flicks his tongue against her palm. “Operation Scare-The-Cameraman, Day One: complete.”

She reaches one gloved hand into the bucket to pull out a frozen rat as she scans the tablet in front of her. “Okay, so. This rat, named Dave, was purchased by Kerry in Thousand Oaks, who also included this message.”

She skims the purchase summary before holding the rat out to Noodle, who unlatches his jaw to swallow it whole. Kara stares into the camera, one eyebrow quirking. “That’s what you get for cheating, Dave.”

They move through most of the reptile house, Winn filming as Kara names and then proceeds to feed a bucketful of cockroaches to the zoo’s scaly inhabitants.

The longer it goes on, the more at ease Kara starts to feel, laughing and cracking jokes for the camera as she reads people’s messages to their ex with growing glee.

“Shouldn’t have forgotten to pick the kids up from school, Dan,” she sing-songs, dropping a frozen rat into the enclosure of Slinky the African rock python.

“Rachel from Gotham City, you told Dylan that is wasn’t him, it was you. Well, he wants you to know that this cockroach is definitely you,” she says with a rueful smile as the creature in question is plucked from her glove by a panther chameleon.

“Lucia hopes your new woman is ready for a lifetime of your snoring, Mason from Laguna Beach,” she says as she dumps a handful of cockroaches into the bearded dragon’s enclosure to be swallowed with great enthusiasm.

They make it to one of Kara’s favourite inhabitants, Godzilla the tiny leopard gecko. She lets the little fellow climb up onto one hand as she scans the tablet. “Alright, last one for today, folks,” she grins, grabbing one more bug for Godzilla’s dinner. “This is from Lena in Metropolis, who has named her cockroach Andrea. So Andrea, this is for—”

Kara cuts herself off as her brain registers the red shading over the message section. “Never mind, the message for this one is private,” she murmurs absentmindedly, eyes still stuck on the purchase summary. Her gaze catches on words like lies and betrayal and deception and ten years and she can feel her brow scrunching as her eyes narrow.

She looks back up at the camera, one fist clenching as she ignores Winn’s questioning look to clear her throat. “Alright, Lena’s message is confidential but let me just say: Andrea, if you’re watching, you’re lucky that all you’re getting is a cockroach with your name on it after the stunt you pulled. Lena, whoever you are, you’re a better person than I would be in your shoes.”

And with a gleeful smile and far too much gusto, probably, she extends the dead bug to the gecko perched on her palm. “Enjoy this one, Godzilla,” she coos at the tiny lizard. “Really savour it.”

He does, swallowing the bug in one smooth gulp, and Kara runs an affectionate finger over his head. “Hope you felt that, Andrea,” she mutters, too low for the cameras to pick it up. Probably. Hopefully.

She perches Godzilla back on his favourite rock and turns back to the cameras with a smile. Rounds out the livestream and repeats the details for people to purchase their own cockroaches ahead of the next day’s broadcast, high fives Winn once the cameras stop rolling, and chalks the whole thing up to a good – if weird – day’s work.

The livestream is a hit, and Cry Me a Cockroach sales rocket overnight.

Cat even graces her with a grudging well done as she heads to the aviary for the day’s filming and feeding. She and Winn repeat the same setup at the day before, moving around the enclosures to feed bugs and rodents to the assortment of birds housed within, Kara smiling and laughing and joking the whole way.

But as they come to the end of the broadcast something’s still niggling at the back of Kara’s mind and Winn’s about to shut off the cameras when Kara reaches out a hand to stop him.

“Um, before we go,” she starts, ignoring Winn’s what the hell look even as her cheeks flush crimson, “there’s just one more cockroach to be crunched. If you were watching yesterday, you might remember that Lena from Metropolis bought a cockroach named Andrea. Lena didn’t want everyone to know the terrible thing Andrea did to her but personally, I think it was bad enough that we could maybe do one more bug-feed. On the house,” she winks at the camera, reaching into the bucket at her feet.

She scoops up a container of frozen bugs, tilting them towards the camera. “Lena, I hope you’re watching, because every single one of these guys is named Andrea,” she grins, tossing the scoop into the enclosure of Tim McCaw, the zoo’s giant hyacinth parrot, where it is immediately devoured.

Winn ends the stream just as Kara’s phone rings in her back pocket; the Jaws ringtone that indicates her boss is calling. She answers with a wince, bracing for Cat’s inevitable reprimand for going off-book and dishing out her own vermin vengeance, but it doesn’t come.

Cat just informs her that cockroach sales have spiked again, and to keep up the adequate work. She also tells Kara not to be shy about lifting some of their heaviest snakes in front of the camera.

Kara doesn’t ask for the reasoning behind that specific instruction. Based on the way Winn had snickered into his hands for a solid three minutes upon overhearing it, she doesn’t really want to know.

It becomes something of a routine.

Every day, she and Winn move through the different enclosures, feeding cockroaches and rats and the occasional cabbage to the zoo’s inhabitants. Kara reads out the names and the stories – some of them funny, some of them sad, and some just plain weird – and tosses the meals to the waiting animals to be enthusiastically enjoyed.

And right at the end of each stream, Kara plucks out one extra cockroach, names it Andrea, and drops it into the waiting jaws of whichever animal seems hungriest that day.

Maybe she’s a little too invested in this Lena person. Winn certainly tells her so at least eighteen times a day. Alex and Kelly have picked up on it too; they both watch Kara’s livestream from work and take turns sending her a barrage of texts the moment it ends, ranging from gentle teasing (Kelly) to downright harassment (Alex).

Kara doesn’t mind. Something about Lena’s message, the way she’d described how she’d been betrayed by the person she’d trusted the most, had struck a chord deep in Kara. Lena had sounded so hurt, so alone, and yet the only revenge she wanted to take on the woman who broke her heart was to name a $5 cockroach after her.

She doesn’t know if Lena watches the livestreams. But it makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside to think that maybe, Lena has seen it, that she knows that there’s someone out there on her side. Even if that someone is just some random zookeeper on a Facebook live.

The streams, much to Cat’s delight and Winn’s relief, have gone viral. The day after Kara lifts the zoo’s seventy pound green anaconda above her head live on camera to demonstrate its enormous size, a clip of their broadcast is shown on national news. Sales skyrocket, with so many people trying to participate in the event that their website crashes. They’ve already raised enough money to cover the renovations of the panda’s enclosure so Cat spreads out the extra profits, investing in higher quality feed for the animals and a series of webcams that livestream footage of their most popular residents 24/7.

The zoo’s profile is rising, and more big donors and investors are expressing interest in the research and conservation work they’re doing. Cat harnesses their surge in popularity, launching new protection projects for snow leopards, rhinos, and pangolins.

Everything is going according to plan – better than planned – and Kara couldn’t be happier. Protecting the planet’s incredible wildlife was all she’d ever wanted to do, and if naming some cockroaches can help her achieve that dream, it’s a sacrifice she’s willing to make.

She does draw the line, though, at being dubbed Cockroach Kara by internet lurkers.

Winn is extremely unhelpful, collapsing into hysterical laughter the first time he shows her her new moniker and producing no useful suggestions as to how to make it stop. The problem resolves itself, however, after Winn videos Kara hefting two enormous fallen logs in the elephant rehabilitation enclosure onto her shoulders a few days later to move them to a safer location.

The next day, #DaddyDanvers is trending nationwide. Alex laughs herself clean off the couch when she sees it, and Kara blushes so long and so hard she’s not sure she’ll ever recover.

The month is drawing to a close, and Kara has to admit she’s going to miss their daily livestreams. Her audience has grown exponentially since the first broadcast and many people are now genuinely invested in the wellbeing of the animals, asking for updates on specific zoo residents and sponsoring conservation efforts for the most endangered creatures.

Kara decides to end the event on a crowd pleaser, and she and Winn make their way to the koala enclosure for the final stream. Sitting cross legged on the grass with a sleepy koala in her lap, Kara tugs the bucket of eucalyptus leaves closer to her side as the stream gets going.

“I know it’s very satisfying to name a cockroach after your ex,” she grins at the camera, “but as this is our last broadcast I thought we’d end on a more upbeat note. For all of you who’ve purchased a bug today, I’ll be feeding one eucalyptus leaf to our resident koalas here at National City Zoo. We’ve got three babies in here who are growing and hungry, so let’s turn the upset and bitterness caused by everyone who’s done you dirty into something good instead. Help something new grow out of the pain of the past.”

She feeds leaf after leaf to the cuddly little creatures, beaming as the entire family gradually make their way over to investigate her. Names each leaf and reads out each story, laughing as the baby koalas climb up her arms to cling to her back and shoulders, playing with her ponytail.

“And, in keeping with tradition,” she smiles, a koala on each shoulder and three in her lap, “I’m naming this final leaf Andrea.” She holds it out to the youngest of the bunch who grabs it eagerly, clasping the leaf between its tiny paws as it chews. Kara grins, glancing directly into the camera. “This one’s for you, Lena from Metropolis.”

She wraps up the stream with a heartfelt thank you to everyone who’d contributed money to the cause, beginning the gentle process of extricating herself from her clinging koalas as Winn packs up the camera equipment for the last time. He heads off, muttering something about giving Cat a debrief as Kara bends to collect her bucket and check the water levels, one baby koala still cradled in the crook of her arm.

She’s so absorbed in her examination of the control panel, checking light and humidity settings in the enclosure, that a throat gently clearing behind her makes her jump.

She spins to see a woman standing nervously by the door of enclosure, twisting her clasped fingers together in front of her. She’s elegantly dressed, with long dark curls and perfect porcelain skin, full lips and sparkling green eyes. She is, in short, the most beautiful woman Kara has ever seen in her entire life, and she promptly forgets how to breathe.

“Can I, um, help you?” she manages at last, cheeks flushed and voice cracking.

The woman presses her lips together, and Kara curses her own abject lack of subtlety as she tries (and fails) to pull her gaze away from the woman’s mouth. “I hope so,” the stranger says, and her voice is soft and lilting and lovely and Kara instantly becomes addicted to hearing it again. “You must be Kara Danvers. I’m— I’m Lena. From Metropolis.”

Kara’s mouth falls open, and she very nearly drops the poor unsuspecting koala in her arms out of pure shock. Blinks back into a semblance of self-awareness and places the cuddly creature carefully on a nearby branch so she can make her way over to the enclosure’s door, smoothing a hand self-consciously over her koala-mussed hair.

“Um, hi,” she breathes once she’s joined Lena on the other side of the glass. “Gosh. Hi. So you’re— you’re Lena. Like, Lena-and-Andrea Lena.”

The woman – Lena – smiles ruefully. “Well. Without the Andrea part, now. As I’m sure you will have read in my purchase summary.”

Kara barely represses the urge to smack herself resoundingly on the forehead. “God, right. Yes. Sorry, I’m so sorry,” she stutters. “That was so dumb. I just— I can’t believe it’s you.” She reaches a hand up to tug awkwardly on her ear, emphatically unable to stop more and more words falling out of her big stupid mouth. “I can’t believe Andrea did that to you. I mean—” she whistles under her breath, giving Lena an appreciative once over. “Look at you.”

Lena’s cheeks flush the prettiest shade of pink, teeth digging into the plush of her bottom lip. “Oh. Um. Thank you?”

“Oh Jesus, I didn’t— I’m sorry,” Kara stammers. “Okay. Let me start this again. Hi.” She extends a hand, sucking in a sharp breath at the feeling of soft skin beneath her own when Lena shakes it. “I’m Kara. It’s so great to meet you.”

Lena smiles, and Kara’s never really thought much about the word radiant before but that’s what the woman before her is. Lena blossoms when she smiles, and she’s so beautiful it takes Kara’s breath away.

She squeezes Kara’s hand once before letting go. “It’s great to meet you, too.”

The zoo’s opening hours come to an end but, Kara realises, her time with Lena doesn’t have to. Perks of being the head zookeeper and all.

She tentatively invites the dark-haired woman to stick around, takes her on a tour of the different animals and points out all her favourites. Lena is, like, crazy smart, in addition to being crazy beautiful, and she produces odd little facts about some of the zoo’s rarer inhabitants that even Kara hadn’t known.

Kara learns that Lena had just moved to the area from Metropolis after the Andrea incident, which she has to repeatedly remind herself not to bring up. She learns that Lena has a PhD, and that she’s the youngest head of R&D ever at her brother’s company. She learns that Lena had watched every single one of her livestreams, right from the first day, and had finally been convinced by her best friend to come and meet Kara in person.

She learns that Lena is gorgeous, and devastatingly funny in an understated kind of way, and smart and kind and generous and self-effacing. She learns that everything she learns about Lena only makes her want to know more.

They end up at the giant panda enclosure and Kara sneaks a look around before unlocking the door, ushering Lena inside. She leads the dark-haired woman to a dry patch of grass near where the babies are sleeping with their mothers and gestures for her to sit, realising belatedly that Lena’s suit probably costs more than Kara makes in a year and that she probably doesn’t want to muddy it up in a mess of twigs and leaves.

But Lena doesn’t even hesitate, taking a seat facing Kara and pulling her legs in close to her body. Her eyes keep darting to the pile of pandas behind them and Kara grins. “If we just sit here, they’ll come and investigate us,” she smiles, and Lena looks so excited that Kara’s breath catches in her chest.

They chat about Kara’s job, the zoo’s conservation work, Lena’s move out west and her latest projects at Luthor Corp. Sure enough, within minutes the most brave and inquisitive of the baby pandas has perked up from its nap, ambling over to give them a curious sniff.

Kara’s heart clenches so hard in her chest at the way Lena’s entire face lights up when one of the bears flops into her lap that she legitimately fears she may have gone into cardiac arrest. But if this is how she dies, so be it; watching the untempered joy in her expression as Lena holds a tiny panda in her arms, staying quiet and still as the baby paws and prods inquisitively at her face and hair, would not be a bad final image.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Lena murmurs after a while. “For what you did on the livestream every day. For your discretion, but also— your support.”

She takes a deep breath, gaze focused on the cuddly ball of fluff in her arms. “When Andrea and I ended, it tore me apart, and no one in my daily life knew what had happened. You can imagine why I wanted to keep the details private,” she smiles grimly, and Kara nods. “I felt so isolated. But seeing your videos, seeing you every day— it made me feel that little bit less alone.”

Lena blushes, ducking her head. “I’m sorry, I know that probably sounds ridiculous. I don’t— I didn’t even know you.” An errant curl falls forward into her face, and the baby panda in her arms immediately begins chewing on it.

Kara scoots forward on her knees, pulling the lock of dark hair gently from the baby’s grip and tucking it carefully behind Lena’s ear. “It’s not ridiculous,” she whispers as Lena raises her head again, suddenly aware that their faces are now only inches apart.

“I’m, I’m really glad I could do that for you. I’m really, really glad I got to meet you, Lena. And for the record,” she pauses to swallow hard, drowning in the intensity of Lena’s eyes. “Andrea is the biggest idiot on the planet to have ever let you go.”

Lena’s breath catches in her throat, and Kara doesn’t miss the way green eyes flicker down to her mouth for a moment, Lena’s tongue darting out to wet her own lips. It makes Kara feel bold, and before she can think too hard or second-guess herself she’s leaning forward, sliding a hand up to thread through soft dark hair and pressing her lips to Lena’s.

It’s light, brief, just the gentlest press of mouths, but it shoots a white hot bolt of fire from the crown of Kara’s head to the very tips of her toes. Her whole body is tingling as she pulls back, heart pounding.

“God, sorry,” she gasps, eyes widening as the reality of the boundary she’s just blown past comes slamming in. “Oh, fu— I’m so sorry, Lena, I don’t know what I was—”

“Kara,” Lena whispers, gently depositing her baby panda on the grass to push up on her knees as well. “Do it again.”

Well. She doesn’t need to be told that twice.

She surges forward again but Lena’s already there to meet her, mouths slanting together like they’d been doing it for years. Kara’s tongue darts out to trace the seam of Lena’s bottom lip and the dark-haired woman’s mouth falls open with a tiny gasp that hits Kara low in her hips. The first touch of Lena’s tongue against hers is bright, jagged and electric, and Kara tightens one hand in Lena’s hair as the other slides round her waist to anchor their bodies together, Lena’s own hands fisting in the collar of Kara’s green fleece.

Maybe it’s minutes, maybe it’s hours later that they finally break apart, gasping for air. Kara doesn’t particularly care. She takes in Lena’s heaving chest, her kiss-swollen lips and rose-tinted cheeks, and wonders how the hell a bucketful of dead cockroaches could ever have led her to something as beautiful as this.

“Oh,” Lena gasps, voice light and breathy. “Oh, wow. Maybe I should visit zoos more often.”

“As long as it’s this one, I’m on board with that,” Kara chuckles, tracing her thumb feather-light over Lena’s lower lip and trying (and failing) to restrain a shiver at the way Lena’s nails scratch lightly at the nape of her neck.

“So, um,” Lena murmurs, biting her lip, and it’s taking every scrap of Kara’s willpower not to interrupt whatever she’s about to say and claim her mouth once again. “I feel like an all-access encounter with baby pandas is quite a tough first date to follow but, um. Would you like to maybe do this again sometime?”

Kara grins. She grins and grins and grins. She doesn’t think she could stop grinning if she tried. “I’d love to.”

The answering smile that breaks over Lena’s lovely face makes Kara’s heart do a backflip, and she’s just about to lean back in when the ominous sound of the Jaws theme tune starts up from the pocket of her fleece.

She pulls out her phone, stomach dropping when she sees the thirty new messages from Alex and Kelly and Winn, the hundreds of Facebook and Twitter notifications flooding her homescreen. With a pit of existential dread opening up in her chest, she answers the call.

“Cat,” she says, voice bright and just a little too high. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I have to assume, since you were the one who lobbied for their installation, that you are aware of the three cameras livestreaming the giant panda enclosure at all times,” Cat drawls, voice bored and callous with the barest undertone of amusement. “Which leads me, naturally, to assume that your little after-hours rendezvous with billionaire tech mogul and philanthropist Lena Luthor was intended to be broadcast live to millions of viewers?”

Kara slaps a hand across her forehead, cheeks redder than a fire truck as she shoots an agonised glance in Lena’s direction. Lena shakes her head questioningly at her and Kara tugs the phone away from her ear to put the call on speaker.

“So, um. The whole world just saw that, huh?” she asks through a grimace. Lena’s eyes widen and she presses a delicate hand to her mouth to hold back a shocked giggle.

“They certainly did,” comes Cat’s disembodied voice. “And it’s doing wonders for our popularity. I already have three new investors interested in supporting our panda rehabilitation programme. You know, Keira, when I asked you to give the people a show, this is not exactly what I had in mind. But I must say—”

Her boss pauses for an interminably long moment and Kara holds her breath, wondering if she’s about to lose her job or get promoted.

“—I don’t hate it,” Cat finishes. “While you have her, perhaps you could ask Ms Luthor how she would feel about becoming an official patron of National City Zoo.”

“I would feel very good about it, Ms Grant,” Lena answers smoothly, serene and composed despite her kiss-tousled hair and smudged lipstick.

“Excellent,” Cat says resoundingly. “In that case, I’ll let you, ahem. Get back to it. My office at 9am for a staff meeting, Keira.”

“Of course,” Kara manages before hanging up, tossing her phone into the grass as she presses her palms to her flaming cheeks. “So, um. Our first kiss was just livestreamed to half the country.”

Lena presses her lips together to hold back a smirk. “It was.” She arches one eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Well, there’s no going back now. We can’t break the Internet’s heart. I suppose I’ll just have to stick around.”

Kara gives up any last semblance of self-restraint at that, pushing forward to wrap her arms around Lena’s waist and pull her back in for another bruising kiss. “Well, Lena from Metropolis. I sure hope you do.”

#i have no idea how we ended up here folks #never did i think 'zoo au' would be something on my to do list #but three hyperfixated hours later here we are #bon appetit to the one person apart from myself who wanted this #asks #anonymous #sc #minific #dings dot txt

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critrolesideblog · 3 years ago

Text

Caleb Widogast pushed his hair out of his face for the ei--nineteenth time in about as many minutes. Caleb and Essek were reading for pleasure this evening, with the aid of Comprehend Languages: Caleb the collected poems of Erdan Niemi, a famous Drow bard, and Essek, Die Waldhexe und andere Zemnische Volksmärchen. They were seated at opposite ends of one of the sofas in the tower salon, their legs in the middle not quite touching. But some time into Essek's reading, the repeated scrape of sweater against paper edge and rustle of hand in hair became too much for him to ignore.

It was a long time coming really. Essek recalled that it had been Veth who had braided back Caleb's hair for him, when they were in Aeor last. Since there was no Veth to braid it this time around, Caleb had fallen into the habit of roughly tying it back in a ponytail or bun, with varying degrees of success, depending on the amount of effort he put into it, which, lately, was middling, and tonight, none at all. There were times when the mess was charming: when Caleb shuffled into the dining room in the morning, stray locks framing his face; when he ran his hand through his hair in excitement at a new discovery; when some friendly wind caused wayward strands to brush just so against his lips. At the moment, though... Essek took a large sip of his wine and set the glass gently back on the table. "Caleb?"

"Hmm?"

Despite the response, Essek knew better than to continue right away. Caleb's head tilted up toward him slowly, but his eyes lingered on the page a moment longer. When blue finally met lilac, Essek took a deep breath breath. "May I... braid your hair for you?"

Caleb blinked once, twice, three times, before his eyebrow and lips quirked up with a humor that was a little too insightful. "Well, if it’s bothering you..."

Essek gave a huff of laughter at being caught, before pressing his hands together in front of his lips, arranging his features into a semblance of solemnity. "It is driving me insane." Caleb laughed, as Essek hoped he would.

"I apologize if I have driven you to distraction," he replied, in a voice that sounded not remotely contrite. Essek averted his eyes and took another small sip of wine to provide an alibi for the warmth in his cheeks. "Please, by all means." Caleb pulled free the tie holding his hair in place, and with a small shake of his head, the copper strands fell down around his face and shoulders.

Essek gathered his composure, clearing his throat slightly. "Excellent -- ah, Liesl?" He said quickly, turning to the tortoiseshell cat relaxing in front of the fireplace. She opened one amber eye in response.

Liesl was Essek's right-hand cat. She had been standoffish at first, it was true, but it seemed Essek's years in politics were not wasted in the ruins of Aeor. "Liesl, would you please have Jaakko fetch me some additional hair ties and a comb?" Liesl, without raising her head from her paws, turned her gaze to the cat in question, all black and slender, whose interpretation of cleaning apparently included batting a piece of crumpled paper around the legs of a desk with incredible enthusiasm. At some unseen signal, he turned his attention to Liesl, and after a series of tail twitches, trotted off into a nearby cat door. She turned her gaze back to Essek. "Thank you, Liesl. That will be all." She chirped at him in response and returned to her nap.

Caleb's eyes were back on his book now, but Essek did not recall anything in Niemi's works amusing enough to justify the grin on Caleb's face, which Essek now had an excuse to give due consideration. He did not think the braids that Verin favored in their youth would suite him particularly well, and they were a bit elaborate for a night in, besides. Perhaps just a variation on the Gwardanian-style braid Veth employed.

Jaakko returned in no time, the items required laid out neatly on a tray held aloft by his long tail, and, with one last small sip of wine, Essek rose from the sofa and moved to stand behind Caleb. He took a deep breath as he picked up the amber comb from the tray. There was no cause, he told himself sternly, for his heart to be racing as it was, which was, of course, a lie. He raised the comb above the copper strands. "I am going to begin now?"

"Ja, danke."

Whether the thanks was for the impending braid or the warning, Essek was not sure, but he drew the edge of the comb gently back along the scalp, carefully delineating a section of hair at the top of Caleb's head. He tied the sides and back out of the way, and if his face warmed at the brush of fingertips on neck, there was no one able to see it. He gathered up the hair closest to Caleb's face and divided it in thirds, before weaving the right third over the center and then left over center. He repeated the process, carefully gathering more strands in on the sides as he went. He was about halfway through with the braid, when Caleb leaned to the left without warning, nearly pulling the locks from his grasp.

"Pysy paikallasi!" Essek hissed, decades-old habit causing the words to spill from his lips in Undercommon, but it did not matter. Comprehend Languages was still in effect. "Mitä sinä teet?"

"I want some wine," Caleb explained, extending his arm to the side to demonstrate that the glass was just out reach.

"Did Veth allow you to move around when she braided your hair?"

"She never complained."

"Then she spoiled you terribly."

"Will you hand me the wine?"

"No," he replied sternly, gathering the strands into one hand, careful not to mix them up, and then leaning over and passing the goblet to its owner.

"You are a riot, Herr Thelyss," Caleb said dryly, but Essek caught a glimpse of a grin as he straightened.

"I am glad you think so. I have been thinking of taking my comedy show on the road when we are done here."

"You should ask Veth if she has any material you can use. Will there be a Mighty Nein discount on tickets?"

"Please, if anything, I should charge you all extra for the honor of heckling me."

Caleb gave a mock gasp. "The Nein? Heckle you? We would never."

"Ha! Tell me another one!"

Caleb's shoulders shook with quiet laughter.

Essek stopped gathering new hair into the top braid, braiding the remaining length of the locks together, and tying them off. He then shifted to the left and began the process again with a section starting at Caleb's left temple. From this vantage point, he could spy the gilded edges and precise black script of the book in Caleb hands (and what hands they were! Capable, as he knew, of both great destruction and healing. And, perhaps, from this vantage, he could also glimpse the stately sweep of his cheekbones, the curve of his nose, the strength of his jaw, but who was to say.).

"How are you enjoying the poetry so far?" He asked, affixing his eyes firmly to the task in front of him. He had not known whether Caleb enjoyed poetry, when he gifted it to him. He had doubted, though, that Caleb had much opportunity to avail himself of Kryn literature during his time in Rosohna, and Caleb had seemed delighted, even touched, by the gift. He did not seem to be making quick progress through the text, however.

"Very much so," Caleb replied after taking a sip of wine. "I imagine I am sometimes missing some nuance or cultural context -- Comprehend Languages is a bit of a blunt instrument -- but I am enjoying it even more than I thought I would. You almost made it sound dry in your description, when you gave it to me."

"Ah, no, not dry. Only, all young Drow are forced to read his works as part of our schooling, and it colors our enjoyment of it somewhat."

"I see."

"Do you have a favorite passage so far?"

Caleb did not respond right away. "Yes..." He admitted, at last, and added, "It is from the Courtship of Lael."

Essek nearly lost his grip on the braid as he fumbled the strands mid-crossing. He had forgotten the Courtship was so early in the text. "Oh?" He asked, hoping it came across as polite interest.

"Would you like to hear it?" Caleb's voice had a softer, deeper hue than usual.

"If you like."

There was quiet for a moment.

Caleb did not turn to the page -- he did not need to. He merely cleared his throat lightly, and began:

"My lover's skin is a field of stars. What bliss to wander among the heavens! Let me approach as a pilgrim from the dark. Let me worship on my knees before the holy light. Let no beacon go without a prayer from my lips."

Every opalescent freckle on Essek's skin was now a flame. He swallowed hard. "That--that was, ah ... evocative."

"Ja, I thought so too." Caleb chuckled.

Essek tied off the left braid and moved around to the opposite side. They passed the time in quiet, as Essek's dexterous hands, having found their rhythm, made quick work on the braid on the right. And if he had a new awareness of the freckles that made fiery constellations along the slope of Caleb's neck, he gave no indication.

"You know it is a good thing you are braiding my hair up, with us going deeper into the Genesis Ward tomorrow." Caleb said at last, as Essek gathered the braids and the loose strands left over in the back up into a neat ponytail, tying it off with Caleb's original tie. There was more than a little mischief in his voice. "I should hate for Devexian to see me for the first time in months with my hair a mess."

"You are a riot, Caleb Widogast," Essek drawled.

"I'm glad you think so."

----

Notes: Pysy paikallasi! Mitä sinä teet? - Stay still! What are you doing?

#some fluff for your Sunday evening #this was originally going to involve more reflections on Essek's childhood #but Caleb had other ideas #Caleb: I'm gonna read him my actual favorite passage from this book. Me: you don't have to. Caleb: No I'm gonna #Shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #shoutout to neverlain for fixing my Finnish!#my writing tag

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