#tommy x Sasha

[shelbysdevil]

Plotted starter for @cemeterysgirl

It wasn’t the first night his path had led him here neither would it be the last, but in fact it had been some time since Tommy last entered the establishment after being on a business trip to London for quite some time. It could have been expected that he would spend his first night home in the comfort of his own bed and the arms of his wife, but for him there had never been any form of comfort he found at that haunted place especially when Lizzy was around bugging him with endless questions and expecting justifications for the things he did. He was sick of it. The endless talking. The endless ways of evading her nearness or creating new lies to please her just to get an easy night to come down from the terrors he had to bring over other people.

Maybe it was weird to find a place to rest in a brothel, but where else should a man like Tommy Shelby go when everyone knew his name and would bother him with their bullshit? No, this place was just the thing he needed and somehow it felt like a step into a kingdom that luckily wasn’t his own this time. Where he could only be a guest with all the pleasure that came with it.

“Mr. Shelby. Haven’t seen you for a while, welcome back.” Of course even here Tommy was greeted with respect by Mr. Cookson but in this case he would accept it. Small talk, a short warm greeting and then he would find his way to a separate room anyways.

“Business. Mr. Cookson.” With a formal nod of his head he sat down at the counter of the bar to light himself a cigarette. Mr Cooksons offered hand was ignored as it always was, Tommy wasn’t here to make business with him in particular after all and preferred not to touch anyone unless it was for sexual intimacy.

“How’s business mister Shelby?” Cookson asked and hurried the bartender to bring his favorite client a whisky on the house.

“I’m alive. So pretty good I would say. Or bad I assume depending on who you ask.” Tommy just murmured and took a drag from his cigarette without looking at the man. This venue had much more interesting things to offer anyways and so his eyes wandered along the room to see who was working tonight.

“Of course.” The whisky was placed in front of Tommy’s seat and without another glare back he just blindly reached for it to take the first sip. “May I offer you a special treat for tonight? Christine who is well known and already was in your favor last time is working tonight. If I would have known you’re coming I would have reserved her, but if you wish I can cancel…”

“I’m not interested in something known tonight Mr. Cookson. You might call her experienced, but for me it just translates to old. What about someone new?” And it seemed that his eyes had just spotted what he was talking about when his eyes stopped on a woman he hadn’t seen before. Pouty face. Sassy grin. Black hair like a fucking Angel of death. “What about her?” Tommy asked with a light gesture with his glass into her direction before his lips took another sip.

“Sasha? Oh no, Mister Shelby. You are worth of much more than that. She’s one of the new ones. Hard to handle. A little bitch that one. Barks like a dog and bites like a cat.”

“Good.” Tommy’s glass was placed back on the table emptied before he rested his cigarette burning on the ashtray and started reaching for his wallet in his inside pocket. “How much?”

“Mr Shelby.” Now Cookson was obviously getting nervous and leaned in, too close for Tommy’s taste and whispered “I think she’s really not your taste. Inexperienced. Recalcitrant. Not a woman with class or the decency you deserve. I could give you a huge discount on...”

For the first time their eyes met and while Tommy slowly folded his hands with a raised brow on the table, he leaned in as well, this time with a threatening glare without a flinch in his expression. “I said how much. Or do you want me to question the decency of the owner of this establishment?” Respect was an expensive good for the Shelby’s and no one ever dared to deny it from them. Cookson had no other choice than swallowing whatever he wanted to say but Tommy noticed the way he tensed before he finally leaned back and tried to shrug it off.

“Alright. Suit yourself. But her service is nonreturnable.”

“I won’t need to return anything unless you want to force my hand.” Their discussion was ended and finally Tommy could raise and approach the girl in the obvious battered black dress, hands slipped into his pockets while just staring at her with an unimpressed glare watching her without a word until she looked at him. “Sasha. Since Mr Cookson made it crystal clear of how much he doesn’t approve of this constellation, I thought I do us both a favor and provoke him a little. Would you show me your room? I request your service.”

[shelbysdevil]

Tommy had seen those marks on her before, but he never questioned them since she never dared to mention his in return. It was like an unspoken rule of respect to not dig too deep when their relationship in here should be only casual, but how casual could it be when he already preferred to spend his rare free nights with her instead of his own bed? Of course he cared. Of course he always asked himself what tortured her, what she had seen and why it was so easy for Sasha to make his wall crumble when he allowed it. There had to be something connecting their tormented souls and even if he was sure that the answers laid mostly in their past, tonight it was obvious that these marks didn’t come up randomly like the scars they carried on their skins for years.

“Nothing in the world will make you less beautiful.” he murmured lowly for only her to hear, allowing her to lead his hand away from her face but only to bring hers to his lips and kiss it. “Wouldn’t say the same about him though.” It must have been her bosses fault, what other explanation was there? Even if Tommy wasn’t someone who would make him pay right here and now, he would definitely make sure that he would pay a price for marking what was supposed to be only touched by him since he declared her secretly his property. Subtle and maybe without him knowing who it actually was coming from, but paranoia alone could hurt people in worse ways than a simple punch.

“I would not pick another girl and you know that.” It was a confession and he was aware of it. A confession that might be dangerous for both of them but still brought a short smirk on his lips that disappeared the second when he brought his hand back to her face, simply to brush his thumb along her lips. Those marks on her red flesh were too noticeable to ignore and Tommy felt how the rage inside of him boiled in his blood knowing that these weren’t coming from bites he left on her out of passion.

“Lay down. On your stomach.” he commanded with a gesture of his head after pulling his hand back in anger and waited for her to follow his wish while he was already taking his leather gloves and black coat off. “Tonight we do something else.”

ㅤㅤ" really, mr. shelby— you shouldn't be fretting over the likes of me. " sasha complained, but really, she quite likes it. being worried about, or for, was unchartered territory for the lonely girl, with mr. cookson's only concern being her face. the part he usually avoided in his lashings whenever she stepped out of line, which was so easily done considering how restricted her movement was.

ㅤㅤbut tonight had been different. left eye was blackened and swollen, and the corner of her mouth was burst open; something about making her look as ugly as she was on the inside. the only joy she'd gotten was seeing the look of surprise on his face when she was once again picked by mr. shelby in spite of the marks he'd hoped would render her as spoiled goods. he'd spun a tale about the men of small heath being too rough with his girls, and sasha knew better than to correct him. not to his face, at least.

ㅤㅤposture was hunched over as she stood in front of her newest regular, naked back ravished with bruises; a map of wounds both old, new and forgotten by everyone but her. no punishment ever scarring her permanently; not physically, at least. a small hand lifts to snake her fingers around his wrist, gently lowering it from her bloodied face with a wince as she straightened up; offering him a half-hearted, apologetic smile. " you should've picked one of the other girls tonight. you still can— i won't be offended. actually, that was a lie. i'd be pretty offended. i mean — surely a couple bruises doesn't make me any less beautiful, does it, mr. shelby? because that's what mr. cookson wants you to think. "

@shelbysdevil sent / 12. my muse helping your muse clean blood off of them.

[myownwholewildworld]

wherever you go (a joel miller’s ff) - chapter 8

chapter 7 | series masterlist | main masterlist | chapter 9

pairing: outbreak!2003!joel x f!reader. (it's actually 2004 now)

summary: when death comes knocking, you can only answer the door.

a/n: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek where do i even start 🥺 i’m just gonna say i’m sorry in advance and leave it at that, but if you read between lines you’ll understand. i do appreciate any comments, reblogs and/or likes you may want to leave! they do keep me motivated. as always, THANK YOU for reading. see you on the other side! x

warnings: 18+, mdni. a LOT of angst and drama incoming. cutesy fluff. established relationship (my babies 😭).  no smut in this one, don’t hate me! mentions of alcoholism and drugs as coping mechanisms. pet names (darlin’, sweetheart). clickers steal the show 😖. death everywhere so be warned. swear words. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 37. no use of y/n.  joel’s and reader’s pov.

w/c: ~5k.

tags aka the drama wagon (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!): @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981

@fancyyoouu @smolbeanzzz @guelyury @bishtrouille

The patrolling shifts had increased around Chicago River and Interstate 90. The Rioters had allocated more resources to survey the borders of the area their people inhabited. In the following days to your disastrous incursion, clickers’ activity had peaked. They were coming closer, so it was decided to dispatch them as they neared.

You were all tired, but there was no rest for the wicked. They kept on moving eastwards, as if something was calling them. No one had been able to figure out why, but the answer to that question didn’t really matter. You suspected that something happened that night at the hospital ― maybe Sasha and her team did something they shouldn’t have.

You would never know, so you tried to stir your thoughts away from what would remain a mystery.

You rolled on bed, the early morning light shining a ray on your face. You grunted in discomfort. Your whole body ached ― those patrols were physically intense, but also mentally exhausting. After all, the infected had been people. A father, an auntie, a brother-in-law, a loving child… All those stories were lost to the wind, and you just hoped there still were people who remembered them as they had been before succumbing to the fungus.

You pouted ― That wasn’t how you wanted to start your day.

Still sleepy, your hand dabbed the bedsheets on your right, unconsciously looking for him.

Joel wasn’t by your side. You frowned in confusion and sat up on the bed, rubbing your eyes. As you got up and walked towards the en-suite, you heard Joel and Tommy talking on the other side of the door, where the living room was.

It was a heated argument ― an everyday occurrence lately. Since you three arrived at Chicago almost five months ago, the brothers appeared to headbutt very often. It didn’t take you long to realise that Tommy’s attitude had gradually changed over time, the alcohol being the main culprit. The bubbly, kind Tommy you had come to meet was buried somewhere underneath that ethanolic stench.

You missed his jests, his nonchalance, his light-heartedness. Buy you did understand him too ― he needed an escape from reality. You all did, really. It was just sad that was his choice of inflicting himself with absent-mindedness.

“You spent the night in the fucking cell, really?”, you heard Joel whisper angrily.

Tommy replied, but his speech was so slurred you couldn’t make out his answer.

“I don’t fucking care for your excuses anymore, Tommy, you need to get your shit together. I need you sober, for fuck’s sake ― the situation is getting dire here, we’ll need to leave soon. In this state, you can barely walk”, you knew Joel was getting frustrated attempting to reason with the younger Miller.

You contained a fatigued sigh ― Joel had tried his best these past months to help Tommy straighten out his path. But you couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped. You just wished Joel understood that. But you knew he wouldn’t give up on his brother so easily. His only living relative.

You sauntered towards the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. You were in the middle of doing so when you heard Joel enter the room. His reflection appeared in the mirror in front of you and you smiled at him, your mouth full of toothpaste. The corner of his mouth lifted just slightly as he placed a heavy hand on the small of your back, his lips brushing your right temple. You closed your eyes at the soothing touch. You quickly bent over to spit the toothpaste and rinse your mouth.

“He’ll come around”, you said as his hand draped around your waist, yours stroking his forearm instinctively.

Joel humphed. “I hope so”, he muttered, his mouth pressed against your crown. “It’s not safe here anymore, darlin’, I think we should head somewhere else”.

“I hear Canada is lovely this time of the year”, you joked, hoping to lighten the mood. His expression didn’t flinch ― worry distorting his rugged, gorgeous face. “I know, I know… Could we wait a few days at least? Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve”, you blinked at him.

He considered it for a few seconds before giving in. “Alright, we’ll leave on the twenty sixth”.

You clapped your hands together, a smile widening your features. Joel cocked an inquiring brow.

“Well, Joyce is throwing a party on Christmas Day at hers and, uhmm, I kinda told her we were coming?”. His brow furrowed even more. “Pretty please?”, you begged, your fingers laced in a prayer.

You knew Joel didn’t like socialising nor big gatherings, but it was just one teeny tiny ask. You flashed your eyelashes at him.

“Okay, it won’t hurt, I guess”, he conceded reluctantly.

With an excited squeal, you turned around in his embrace, circling his neck with your arms. You stood on your tiptoes as Joel leaned forward to kiss you.

The day went by slowly. You had been assigned to the evening patrol ― your hunting duties put on hold until further notice. With all this clickers’ activity, it wasn’t safe to venture out. To your dislike, Joel had been in the afternoon one, so you kissed him goodbye when you took over. At least Tommy was with you.

You were stationed in the bridge on West Madison Street, the Lyric Opera of Chicago to your right. There was a total of ten people in your group, each one of you covering different positions. When clickers approached, you shot them through the rifle scope. It had become a mindless game, like the one you used to play in the arcade when you were younger ― Wolfenstein 3D.

Hours had gone by, and you had been standing up for so long that your feet hurt. You eyed the red, thick metal railing to your left and, with a little jump, you sat on top ― your legs dangling in front of you, facing southwards and the rifle conveniently placed on your lap. Tommy joined you a few minutes later.

He remained silent and so did you. Although he was somewhat sober, you could smell the alcohol on him. It was bad enough that he drank himself to oblivion in his free time, but it was not great he came to patrol with dulled senses.

You took a deep breath.

“Your brother needs you, y’know?”, you said with resignation. His eyes were fixed somewhere in the distance, but you could see the pain in them. “We’ll be leaving in three days, Tommy, and we both need you. This reckless path of yours could have dreadful consequences, not only for us, but for yourself… We are both here to help you out, but you’re shutting us out ― Joel is worried sick and, to be honest, so am I. And I get it, this world sucks… but you’ve got us. The people you are meeting up with… They aren’t good for you.”

He didn’t say a word for a long minute. It was probably not fair of you to pester him with your not-so-uplifting speech, but he needed to hear it. As much as you liked Tommy, what troubled you the most was that it would destroy Joel if he lost Tommy too. It had taken him a long time to open up, to start living again, and Tommy was undoing all that hard work Joel had put in.

He sighed heavily, turning to look at you.

“Do I? And please don’t get me wrong ― I’m happy for both of you. But you’ve got Joel and Joel’s got you. Again, nothing wrong with that, but it sometimes feels lonely, y’know? That’s what drove me to Laney and her group, they get me. Yeah, sure, the alcohol, the drugs ― it ain’t great, but it helps. But I know I need to get my shit together, believe me, I do, it’s just… hard”, he shrugged.

Your eyes softened, downcast expression. You knew you were just brushing the surface; it wasn’t just that he felt left out. This new world was devastating, it toyed with your mind, making you believe things that were never really there ― a figment of your imagination, of your worst fears.

You palmed his forearm to cheer him up.

“As hard as it is, I’m sure you’ll still come out the other end just fine”, you smiled, but he was evading your eyes. “You only need to reach out, Tommy. We’re here for whatever you need of us.”

You got home past midnight. You were so worn out, you just whispered goodbye to Tommy and headed towards your shared bedroom with Joel. The handle made a screeching noise, then the door creaked when you pushed it. You scrunched your face in frustration ― you didn’t want to wake Joel up if he had fallen asleep. He had trouble in doing so, his nightmares still haunted him.

You quietly closed the door behind you. The room was dark, the silence only broken by his faint snoring. You grinned ― he did snore, as much as it pained him to admit it. Tiptoeing towards your end of the bed, you scattered your clothes on the floor. Only wearing your panties, you sneaked under the bedsheets. There was no heating, but Joel’s body radiated enough warmth to keep you both cozy for the whole night ― so you curled up against his back, nipples grazing his bare skin, your left arm around his waist and your hand gently pressed against his chest. You could feel his ribcage raising with every breath he took.

He lulled you to sleep, your mind slowly drifting away. He really was your safe haven.

You smiled absentmindedly, a snug sentiment weighing in your belly. You kissed him where his shoulder blades met and whispered, “I love you.”

Maybe he dreamt it. He was not sure.

Maybe his unconsciousness made it up. He was not sure.

However it came to be, that “I love you” had been haunting his mind the whole day. His chest felt tight, a longing ache lodged in his core. Joel had not been able to get rid of that feeling ― being honest, he didn’t want it to disappear. As much as it was painful, it was also hopeful.

His heart fluttered with yearning at the memory, only coming back to reality when you elbowed his side. He had not heard what you said, but your features had lit up with your laugh. The biggest muscle in his chest skipped a beat at such beautiful melody.

“I bet you were the taciturn type as a kid, right, Joel?”, Joyce asked him, question marks dancing in her pupils.

“I was a normal, boring kid. Played a bit of baseball and went on a few fishing trips with our old man, but that’s about it. So yeah, I guess taciturn covers it”, he replied, spooning the stew into his mouth.

Tommy huffed taking a sip of the moonshine in his cup, but didn’t say anything.

The three of you ―Joel, Tommy and yourself― were in the canteen in the Art Institute of Chicago. Joyce, her granddaughter Ava, Walter and a few others were sat around the table, everyone sharing funny snippets of their childhood. Tomorrow was Christmas Day, which seemed to have lightened the mood a bit, some people had even sang some Christmas carols.

“What about you, sweet pea?”, Joyce turned her attention to you.

“I was a weird kid”, you admitted with a laugh. “Used to love bugs, and I really mean love bugs. I had a huge terrarium, a beautiful ant’s nest. I used to go out and picked some of them off the anthill in our backyard to bring them to my colony. Not gonna lie, it was fascinating seeing how the ants would work together to build their little glass community”, you shared while devouring Joyce’s stew. “Then one day, quite a few ants bit me as I was trying to relocate them to a different part of the terrarium, and they fucked me up real bad. Got a terrible infection, was in hospital for two weeks. When I came back, the whole colony was dead, my parents didn’t even let me have a look at it. It was heartbreaking. After that, I steered clear of any type of bugs. I cared for them, even named every one of them, and that’s how they paid me in return? Little bastards”, you cackled, shaking your head.

“You were indeed weird, sweetheart”, Joel muttered so low, you thought you were the only one who heard it.

You patted his hand with a chuckle, unconsciously leaning towards him, your shoulders touching. You always gravitated towards Joel, you just couldn’t control it. Your eyes met and you giggled ― his smirk widened.

“Guilty”, you whispered, his hand enveloping yours under the table.

You had forgotten Joyce was sat across you until she cleared her throat.

“So, you two lovebirds are a couple yet, or what?”, her not-so-innocent question caught you completely off guard.

Shit, shit, you thought, almost choking on your food. You had not talked to Joel about what you two really were. You loved him wholeheartedly, but you didn’t need to put a label to your relationship. At least not yet. You didn’t want to pressure him ― you knew Joel would come around when he was ready.

“Uh, well, we…”, you stammered, your heart racing so fast you thought you were going to throw it up in your bowl.

Joel’s hand gripped yours tighter.

“Yeah, we are”, he replied, matter-of-factly.

Your soul literally left your body. You scrutinised his face in awe ― your lips dissevered, sparkly eyes, speechless. A wave of relief washed over you. He did love you; you just knew it in your heart. The immense love you suddenly felt almost throttled you. If your brain was a functioning organ, you would have hugged and reciprocated him ― but your mind was still short-circuiting.

Joel’s hazel eyes held yours prisoner. He wasn’t a man of many words, but he didn’t need to be ― his orbs spoke for him. They were soft, tender, loving. You heard Joyce’s snicker, but your eyes could not leave Joel’s. There were so many things you wanted to say but couldn’t ― your heart was drowning in oxytocin.

“Why do you look so surprised, sweet pea?”, said the older woman, hardly containing a guffaw.

Before you could find any words to answer Joyce, a shrieking cry disrupted the festive atmosphere. People got up a few tables away from you, screaming so loud you couldn’t make out their words.

A few seconds later, another commotion took place but from the other end of the room.

“Infected! They are infected!”, someone shouted.

Panic spread quickly. People started running, cramming around the two exits. Pushing their way out, elbowing anyone in their way with no regards to children or the elderly. Then you saw a young girl in the middle of a circle, people trying to keep their distance from her. You recognised her from the patrols but couldn’t remember her name.

Then she propelled forward, tackling a man to the ground. He screeched loudly, trying to free himself.

“No, get away from me! Aaaarghhh!”, then silence.

You had gotten up. More cries came from the opposite direction, but you didn’t dare to look. Joel’s hand on your shoulder forced you out of your trance, and you turned to look at him.

His expression was a reflection of yours for a fraction of a second. The fear, but then the resolution.

“Move, move, we gotta go. Tommy?!”, his hands were on your back, pushing you to walk in front of him.

The younger Miller went in front of you, gun on hand, to find the way out. Then you remembered the firearm in your belt and swiftly gripped it. You were about to run behind Tommy when you realised. Suddenly stopping in your tracks, you turned around to face Joel. You looked at him intently, then to Joyce and her granddaughter.

You couldn’t leave them behind. Joyce was the best person you had known in a while. She was like family to you. And you had already lost all of your blood relatives. Joel had one look at you and understood you were not going to accept no for an answer.

“Joyce! Ava! C’mon!”, he shouted while approaching them. Joel picked up little Ava in his arms while Joyce ran towards you, thick tears blurring her vision.

You held Joyce’s trembling hand as Tommy guided you out of the building onto South Michigan Avenue. You looked back a few times, ensuring Joel was right behind you. Ava was sobbing loudly, her tiny face against the curve of Joel’s neck, wetting his t-shirt. The fearful look in his eyes told you a sad story ― you knew exactly who he was thinking of. A gut-wrenching feeling sat in the pit of your stomach.

The streets were crammed with people, everyone screaming names at the top of their lungs. You recognised a few faces: Walter, Eric and his mother, Troy, Kelsey…

“They’re coming through the bridge on West Adams Street!”, someone wailed.

All of you looked in that direction and saw a massive herd of clickers galloping towards you.

“RUN!”, you shouted at your group, pulling Joyce’s hand.

You all ran northwards, across Millenium Park. You could feel your lungs burning, your brain entering fight-or-flight mode, your heart racing so fast you were on the verge of having a cardiac arrest. But none of that mattered ― you were focused on getting out of there, all of you. Tommy, Joel, Joyce, Ava, yourself. You were going to make it out.

“Go to William Fahey bridge, it’s closer!”, Tommy yelled once on East Wacker Drive.

More clickers were coming towards you from the west ― you heard someone around you say that all the bridges on North Wacker Drive were packed with infected.

“They’re here! THEY’RE COMING!”, Joyce wept.

The whole moment was so hectic, with no time to process what was happening. You all sprinted to the only bridge in the hands of the government ― you had no other option. You were almost halfway through the bridge, just a few yards more and you would be on the other side.

As you were racing, you heard a gunshot behind you. You came to a sudden stop to check, letting go of Joyce’s hand ― Joel had just dispatched a clicker which had come too close.

“Joel! Come on!”, you begged, getting closer to grab him by his free forearm.

Then you saw them. Waves of clickers coming towards you, people falling to their demises. Your eyes widened, terror pumping through your veins. You shot a few of them, your aim perfect. But there were too many to fight, fleeing was your only real option.

“Don’t stop! Let’s fucking go!”, Tommy howled, waving at you.

Then chaos unfolded. Gunshots swirled around you. You all ducked behind a car to avoid the trajectory of the bullets ― the government soldiers were shooting to whoever attempted to cross the bridge, clickers and humans alike.

“Help!”, a cry to your left made you turned around in a panic.

Joyce was flat on her back, fighting off an infected. You couldn’t think, so you just reacted ― you leaped forwards, tackling the clicker. Knelt on top of it, its disgusting teeth snapped close to your hand. You felt a brief pang on your wrist as you lodged a bullet in its forehead.

With tears darkening your vision, you came off it and crawled to Joyce. Her eyes, devoid of life, stared at the cloudy, dusking sky. Her lifeless expression was filled with terror, tears still running down her cheeks. Blood was surging from her neck ― unconsciously, you covered the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

“No, Joyce, come on, wake up”, you whispered, grief tugging at your lungs.

She could not be gone just like that. But she was. Joyce was dead.

“Up! Lift the bridge!”, a man’s voice was carried by the wind.

Suddenly, the ground underneath you started moving up, the bridge parting exactly where you were. With no time to think, Joyce’s body rolled off the edge into the river as you tried to hold on to something to avoid the same destiny.

That something was Joel’s firm grip on your arm. His eyes wild with dread, he pulled you up and back into his arms. His trembling breath caressed your temple as he hugged you tightly. You knew he was as scared as you were, albeit for different reasons.

But there was no time for the shock to wear off. Off the corner of your eye, you saw little Ava running towards the edge, kneeling on the border, her tiny hand reaching into the abyss underneath. “Nana! Come back, nana!”, her wailing tone gave you goosebumps.

“No!”, you and Joel shouted at the same time, both lunging forward towards her.

And then she was gone too. The rotten hand of a clicker wrapped around her tiny wrist, and she fell off the bridge. Her piercing shriek was still ringing in your ears.

Joel and you remained flat against the asphalt, disheartened and broken.

“I had to let go of her for one second, you were falling, I―”, his voice faltered, his eyes broadened with remorse, transfixed on the exact spot Ava had disappeared from.

He was reliving his worst nightmare again. Your heart bled for him. For Joyce, for Ava. For yourself.

“Joel, don’t―”, you couldn’t finish. Don’t do this to yourself, you wanted to say.

“Get up! MOVE!”, Tommy shouted.

He had fended off the clickers who made it across the bridge before it was lifted. You hadn’t realised his efforts until you swept your surroundings and saw the bodies littered around you. Joel shook his head to clear his mind, casting off all emotions, and got up to his feet, helping you up in the process.

Then the three of you started running towards East Illinois Street while the government soldiers kept the clickers at bay as some of them tried to jump from one side of the bridge to the other ― this time, at least, they were aiming better than they did before.

You were still in living hell, with no chance to digest what had happened yet. It was like walking blindly through the darkness, unable to find the switch to turn on the lights. Your emotions had deserted you, at least for the time being. You needed to find shelter before you could shatter.

You raced for what felt like hours but was only minutes. You turned the corner on Erie Street, near Northwestern Hospital. The streets were filled with soldiers and uniformed police, shouting directions at the unhinged mass of people who were trying to find cover.

You stopped running, feeling like fire was consuming your lungs. Joel and Tommy stopped too to catch a breath. You bent over, hands on your knees, to aid your uncontrolled breathing ― Joel’s hand rubbed your back.

“Laney, wait up”, you heard Tommy say, and supposed that Laney and her group had made it out too.

You frowned when you saw blood dripping from your inner wrist on to your jeans. You turned your hand around to check the wound out.

Your breath didn’t reach your lungs. Teeth marks were imprinted on your skin, a grotesque sight. Your heart came to a halt, and then it pounded so hard your ears rang.

I’ve been bit, you thought, realisation dawning on you. Fuck, I’m bit.

Even though you were internally panicking like you had never before, you straightened your back and looked at Joel blankly. It felt like it wasn’t you who was talking, as if you were seeing yourself from outside your own body.

“Joel, I’ve been bit”. Your voice didn’t feel yours ― calm, ethereal.

He was watching his brother walk away, and then his eyes darted to yours in less than a second. His pupils were dilated, his nostrils flared, his lips pursed. A vein twitched in his jaw, his anxiety peaking to the highest level possible. You saw his hand shaking when he grabbed your wrist to inspect it himself.

Joel didn’t say a word. He didn’t have time to do so. You hadn’t realised that Tommy had stopped walking towards Laney and had drawn his gun as he was retracing his steps back to where you were.

“Joel, move”, the barrel was pointing at you, his hand steady.

Panic set in. Was he really going to shoot you? Just like that? Like your life didn’t matter at all? Like he wasn’t your esteemed friend? In front of Joel? Was this how you were going to die after all?

Questions flooded your mind, death knocking at your door.

Joel positioned his body in between you and Tommy ― one hand reaching back to keep you behind him, the other one in front of him at waist level, palm down, to keep Tommy away.

“Tommy, please―”, he implored in a hush.

You couldn’t see his face, but you knew his features were torn. His defeated tone ate at your conscience.

“She’s been bit, Joel. She ain’t coming with us, she can’t”, as much as Tommy wanted to convey a reassuring tone, he couldn’t.

Why was he talking like you were not there, like if you were already gone?

“Tommy, don’t do this. I lov―”, your heart sank to your stomach.

“Don’t say it, she’s dead”, Tommy cut him off before Joel could finish his appeal. “If you stay, you’re going to die. Come with me please, we’ll go with Laney and her group, we’ll survive this. You will survive this”, he nodded in your direction.

You were “this”. He was telling Joel he would get over you once you were dead. And you wanted him to listen. You were doomed, there was no coming back from this. You had seen people turn ― you had a couple of days tops before you would get lost to the fungus. Some people only lasted hours. If he stayed by your side to see you wither away… it would break him. For good.

“Joel, listen―”, you whispered, wrapping your fingers around his wrist ― a silent plea dying in your lips.

“No, don’t say a word”, he barely looked over his shoulder, unable to face you yet. “Tommy, I can’t. I just can’t”, he said under his breath.

“Choose then. Either you’re coming with me or you’re staying with her. But I won’t stay by your side to see you destroy yourself.”

An anxious knot formed in your throat. Was Tommy really going to make Joel choose between you and him? That was so fucking cruel you couldn’t believe your ears. You gaped, trying to say something, but Joel took a step back which forced you to do the same.

“Tommy, are you fucking serious?”, Joel asked, a shift in his tone from incredulity to betrayal.

“There’s your answer, I guess”, the younger Miller replied angrily.

Tommy simply walked off, not looking back, not even once.

Both Joel and you froze in place for a long minute, trying to wrap your heads around what just happened.

Your eyes drifted back down to the wound. Pus and blood oozed out. Your chest heaved, reality setting in. You were going to die. This was not what you had in mind for Christmas. How could this happen? Why you? Even with your mind racing with trepidation, you didn’t regret killing that clicker. What you lamented was that it had been for naught ― Joyce and Ava were dead.

“Hey, look at me”, Joel’s voice brought you back. His hands cradled your face, his thumbs sweeping away tears you were not aware of. “Look at me”, he repeated.

You looked up at him through damp eyelashes, memorising his face. His beautiful brown eyes were swirling with shock, with pain, with darkness, with guilt, with loss. His jaw was so clenched his lips were just a fine line. You momentarily shut your eyes, nestling your cheek into his hand before kissing his palm and taking a step back.

You could not look at him directly. The pain was too grave, too profound ― so insatiable it was consuming you. “You gotta go, Joel. Tommy is right. I’m… I’m dead. It’s just a matter of days, maybe hours. You can’t stay. You can’t follow me where I’m going.” The words escaped your mouth in shortened bursts, unable to keep a steady tone.

He took a step forward and cupped your chin, forcing your head up. His sad eyes captivated you, pulling you into their orbits, as if you were a tiny meteor dancing around too close to the black hole of his irises.

“Wherever you go, I’ll follow you. Even to the fucking edge of the atlas”, he muttered breathlessly. “I love you, so don’t ask me to leave you behind. I’m staying, till the bitter fucking end”, your heart dropped to your stomach at his confession.

This was not how you had expected things to be. You were supposed to have time with each other, all the time in the fucking world. And that time had just been snatched from you mercilessly.

Life was so fucking unjust.

You couldn’t stop the tears any longer ― they overflowed your waterlines, your vision so smeared you couldn’t see his face anymore. Your head tilted forward, until your face was buried in his chest.

Joel hugged you tightly, feeling like he was starring in a twisted horror movie. A dark void had replaced his heart, which had been completely ripped off his chest. He was barren inside. His breaths were shallow, they didn’t even reach his lungs.

Had he forgotten how to breathe?

“We need to get off the streets”, he managed to mumble, holding your hand and taking you away.

[just-some-guy-joust]

Just Some Guy Joust - Contestants List

Note: This is NOT the order of the brackets. Like with the last tournament, the order of the brackets will be a surprise. This list was randomized from the brackets I set up and does not represent who each character will be up against. The only thing you know for sure which side of the bracket they're on. When the polls go up, they'll be posted in order based on the list here, NOT based on where their brackets actually are!

Round 1 of Side A is over! Round 1 of Side B is CURRENTLY UP!

(Full list of characters in text format is under the cut)

Side A

Sasha James (The Magnus Archives)

Reigen Arataka (Mob Psycho 100) - died round 1

Joy (Underworld Office/Charlie in Underworld) - died round 1

Junpei (Zero Escape)

Horse (Centaurworld)

Phone Guy (FNAF) - died round 1

Gordon Freeman (HLVRAI)

Joshua Gillespie (The Magnus Archives) - died round 1

Namari (Dungeon Meshi)

Shez (Fire Emblem: Three Hopes) - died round 1

Henry Stickmin (Henry Stickmin)

Stanley (The Stanley Parable)

Whole (Chonny Jash's Charming Chaos Compendium) - died round 1

Larry (Pokemon)

Luke Carder (Inscryption) - died round 1

Leorio Paladiknight (Hunter x Hunter) - died round 1

Barry the Quokka (The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog)

Tommy (HLVRAI) - died round 1

Ulala Serizawa (Persona 2: Eternal Punishment) - died round 1

April O'Neil (TMNT - All versions)

Tsuzuru Minagi (Act! Addict! Actors!) - died round 1

Matt (Woe.Begone)

Gilear Faeth (Fantasy High - Dimension 20)

Apollo Justice (Ace Attorney)

Emmet Brickowski (The LEGO Movie) - died round 1

Stahl (Fire Emblem: Awakening)

Doug Eiffel (Wolf 359) - died round 1

Jack Townsend (Tales from the Gas Station) - died round 1

Frisk (Undertale) - died round 1

Brian Pasternack (Yuppie Psycho)

Trevor Hills (American Arcadia)

Barry Bluejeans (The Adventure Zone: Balance) - died round 1

Side B

Carol Kohl (Carol and The End of The World)

Jaehee Kang (Mystic Messenger) - died round 1

Paul Matthews (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)

Emma Perkins (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals) - died round 1

Su Moting (God Troubles Me) - died round 1

Satou Hiroshi (Disastrous Life of Saiki K.)

Chilchuck Tims (Dungeon Meshi) - died round 1

Michelle Nguyen (Welcome to Night Vale)

Tad Strange (Gravity Falls)

Colin Robinson (What We Do in the Shadows) - died round 1

The Bard (Wandersong)

Usopp (One Piece) - died round 1

Nick Carraway (The Great Gatsby)

Link (Ocarina of Time) - died round 1

Kazooie (In a Manor of Speaking) - died round 1

Connecticut Clark (FlorkofCows)

Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)

Hitomi Shizuki (Madoka Magica)

Junpei Iori (Persona 3)

Han Solo (Star Wars) - died round 1

Tomoya Mashiro (Ensemble Stars!) - died round 1

Peter Sqloint (Just Roll With It: Apotheosis)

Cabbage Merchant (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Marta Cabrera (Knives Out) - died round 1

Greg Universe (Steven Universe)

Yuuki Mishima (Persona 5) - died round 1

Gingerbrave (Cookie Run) - died round 1

Arthur Dent (Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy) - died round 1

Elsen (OFF)

Mob (Mob Psycho 100)

Tadano Hitohito (Komi Can't Communicate) - died round 1

Rung (Transformers - IDW Continuity) - died round 1

[hauntingmesostunningly]

marvel headcanons

weirdly specific headcanons for my favorite characters,

some traits may not align with canon or popular fan opinions. these are just my opinions, to each their own !!

!! TW: s/h , ptsd , disability , neurodivergence , anxiety , depression , alcohol

Gwen Stacy :

lesbian + non-binary

she/they

has a secret spider-girlfriend

obsessed with pop-tarts and tries them in every universe

spends her free time at the animal shelter petting dogs, the workers from many universes know her since they come by so often, and they always welcome her.

won’t admit it but secretly wants to be an english teacher when she grows up

Peter Parker :

trans ftm + bisexual

he/him

his parents are rich lawyers who travel a lot, so he’s always lived with his Aunt, May. doesn’t have contact with his birth parents

has social anxiety and a severe anxiety disorder

has a soft spot for dalmations

in the process of filing for a psychiatric service dog for his panic attacks

has adhd

Wanda Maximoff :

bisexual with a female preference

has a wife !!!

massive swiftie

has two twins and an adopted daughter

disability mom, billy has angelman syndrome and tommy has autism and epilepsy

in therapy to work on her trauma trigger responses ie. controllingness

has suffered with severe depression

loves loves loves dogs (has two goldendoodles, snowflake and rocky)

Yelena Belova :

queer woman

convert jew, found herself in the religion and found a community through a support group for, and run by, woman in her synagogue.

absolutely in love with Kate Bishop

very protective over kate and shows her off to everyone

has a ptsd service dog named sasha, who helps with her flashbacks

has struggled with s/h, but is in therapy and getting better

has a very sexual relationship with kate and everyone in the compound steers clear of the hallway where kate and yelena’s rooms are

Kate Bishop :

pansexual + demigirl

madly in love with Yelena Belova

super innocent but would do unholy things for her girlfriend

hates all dogs. except her dog, pizza-dog-lucky. lucky is different.

slight mommy issues

bottom asf , and a massive brat

super snarky but easily gets her feelings hurt

was homeschooled her whole life, and she never lost that childish energy

thinks her girlfriend’s protectiveness is cute, but loves to push against it to see yelena get all hot and bothered

always spends the holiday season with clint’s family (partially bec she loves them and partially to save on heating bills in the colder months)

spam posts every detail of her life on insta stories + makes mini-vlog reels 24/7

Natasha Romanoff :

demiromantic + unlabeled

hates labels, she likes who she likes end of story.

has a massive soft spot for cats, and has 3 of her own, Tumeric, Spots, and Dart.

has a massive unrequited crush on wanda

she’s labeled as the “bed-hopper” by her friends for her string of serial hookups after she left the redroom, but she wants nothing more than to settle down with a wife and even more cats.

top

big mommy issues and that usually comes across in her relationships, as she seeks out (sometimes older) people with nurturing qualities.

battled alcoholism during the dark days in the blip from losing her sister, but she has an amazing therapist and is now sober

Kamala Khan :

bisexual

she/they

really into tarot

best friends with America Chaves and has a small gay crush on her

constantly gets in trouble with teachers for being too loud and talking in class

has inattentive adhd and always forgets to take her meds

has a very popular carol danvers x fem reader fanfic on A03 that she hides from her parents but she always neglects her homework to make sure she updates regularly for her readers

loves tacos

has sensory issues and gets sensory overload breakdowns due to sound and this can trigger her powers to go haywire while she’s overstimulated

her family puts a lot of pressure on marriage but she just wants to live in a house with america and spend the rest of their lives together reading fanfic and rewatching avengers movies

she kissed america once and they never talked about it again, though they both have hinted at wanting to do it again.

[drunkoffsmoke]

elliot's request page.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

about the writer. male, any prns. but mainly he/they, music + cats + sleep lover, trans 'n omnisexual. might add more later but for now this is enough.

rules.

1. remain respectful. i don't tolerate disrespect. if you're rude to me in any way, i won't be nice anymore. remember, i'm a mirror. i copy others behavior.

2. don't ask for fem reader. i strictly write for male and gender-neutral audiences. any fem aligned people, please don't interact.

3. be patient. i have a life outside social media. i'm a busy man, and sometimes i'd rather not spend my free time writing fanfictions or i simply won't feel motivated to write.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

fandoms.

COD (Call Of Duty).

könig, capt. price, ghost, soap, alejandro, valeria, farah, alex, rudy, nikolai, gaz, graves.

AOT (Attack On Titan).

eren, zeke, mikasa, armin, jean, connie, sasha, erwin, levi, hange, reiner, bertholdt, annie, pieck, porco.

SPIDERMAN (ITSV + ATSV).

miles, peter b., miguel, gwen, hobie, pavitr, noir, penny, the prowler (miles).

BEASTARS.

legoshi, louis, haru, juno, jack, bill, pina, melon, riz, gohin.

HTTYD (How to train your dragon).

hiccup, astrid, fishlegs, ruffnut, tuffnut, snotlout.

TLOU (The Last Of Us/Show).

joel, tess, tommy, marlene, ellie.

MARVEL. (CLOSED)

tony starks, capt. america, peter parker, thor, dr. strange, bucky, scarlet, deadpool, gamora, black panther, ant-man, star-lord, mantis, nebula, bruce, natasha, loki, hawkeye, falcon.

ARCANE.

vi, viktor, jinx, vander, silko, ekko, caitlyn.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

what i write.

smut

angst

fluff

headcanons

gore

lemon

platonic

multiple characters x reader

various au's

pretty much anything

what i don't write.

incest

non-con/rape

crossovers

minor x adult (both have to be at least 18.)

any weird kinks (such as piss kink, foot fetish etc)

character x oc

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

a/n: this will get updated whenever, so be sure to always check before requesting.

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

no, i haven't forgotten about the old requests—i believe there are four. i will get to them starting from tomorrow, 07/21. after i finish them my requests will be open (i deeply apologize to the people who had to wait so long in order to receive their fanfics).

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

[sunshineblondiewrites]

The First of Us - Chapter 2

Death. Death. Death.

Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n)

Series summary: you and your father meet Joel and Tommy 6 years after outbreak day. You join their group trying to make it to the Boston QZ not realizing all that joining would entail. You eventually make it to the QZ but not without suffering many losses. Tommy decides to join the Fireflies and you and Joel are left with your smuggling partner, Tess, when years later you meet a teenage girl that will bring you and Joel across the country, and maybe together.

Chapter summary: You and your father join the Miller brother's and gang and begin to get used to life away from the farm. After a few years together an unfortunate event causes you to lose your father. When the group makes it to the Philadelphia QZ the group splits up and you end up alone with the Miller brothers on the way to Boston.

Warnings: death, outbreak day, friends to lovers, reader has a sister, minor physical descriptions of reader, grieving, FFM threeway (does not include reader, cannon typical violence(if I miss any please lmk)

a/n chapter 2!!! genuinely so excited people read chapter 1 I cannot believe it!! I hope anyone who reads this one enjoys!

word count: 6.2k

Ch1 masterlist

Joel. Huh. Something about him just gave off protector vibes, but he also seemed like a hardass. You were fairly certain it had something to do with things he’d seen and done and that he wasn’t always like this, but then again that was the story for everybody. You gave them your name, officially, and shook their hands. Joel’s were big, warm, and calloused. Tommy’s were also large, warm, and calloused but in a different way, like they were worn from different actions.

“Here’s the thing,” Tommy said, “we’re all a group here but there’s definitely groups within the group. Ryan, Luke, and Blake are buds, Sasha, Phillip, and Victoria are together, and then Joel and I. We were thinkin’ you might wanna ally with us, you saw how Ryan is and the rest of the guys are pretty similar and Sash, Vick, and Phil are all fucking each other so I’m not sure what you’re into, but you might be best off with us.”

“Hmm, I’ll discuss it with my dad. But what makes you think we need your help? Why are you even offering?” you ask. You don’t wanna be seen as a charity case. You’ve been doing quite alright so far. Clearly much better than these guys have.  

“Because your dad’s getting older and if you’re not careful Ryan will try to take advantage of you. We’ve seen what he can do with no remorse. Some of the things that he’s made us or tried to make us do… It’s not all like he made it out to be, but you’ve already agreed to join, so if you don’t come now he’ll kill you, and if you hadn’t agreed to join he’d have killed you,” Tommy said while Joel still stood, brooding slightly, behind him. You looked from Tommy to Joel, you weren’t dumb, your dad was in his fifties now, and the extra wear and tear on his body these past few years had already started to take its toll. You knew you needed someone who could protect you and watch your back as well as your fathers. You could hold your own, but 4 sets of eyes was always better than 2. And you knew deep down you could find that in Joel. Tommy too. Out of the 8 people, these two seemed the most genuine. You may have just met them, but you are very good at reading people.

“Okay. I still need to talk to my dad, but okay,” you said. They seemed satisfied with that answer and you expected them to leave, but they grabbed the dishes, took them to the basin of water you had in the kitchen, pulled out some chairs from the table, and began washing them, solidifying in your mind that, yeah, they were good people. 

The next day was hard as you prepared to leave the only home you’d ever known. You packed your bag with the obvious things you’d need and then you grabbed some sentimental necessities. Your mother’s necklace (a gold chain with a locket that had dried white wildflowers in the center and a picture of your family inside), her wedding ring, and the Barbie pink bracelet you made out of the fabric from Hazel’s dress. Her room was a wreck after, but the dress had been untouched in the garment bag.

The rest of the group packed up some extra bags with your canned goods and also added some to their packs, as did you and your father. He also went and let out the animals so that they could roam free and let some of the people know you were leaving and gave them some supplies that you guys couldn’t carry. By the middle of the day, you were set to leave. 

You went out to visit their graves one last time to say goodbye. You both decided to say goodbye separately so that the group couldn’t sneak off with the truck without you, but also just so that you both could have some privacy. Your father went first and was only there for about 5 minutes, but it felt like ages just sitting around with the strangers you were about to travel the country with. You trudged your way over to the wildflower field where they laid, and you did as you always had done. Remove the few wilting flowers, since you only put them there yesterday, but this time you didn’t replace them with new ones. You wouldn’t be here to replace them anymore. No one would, and you didn’t want them stuck with dead flowers for eternity.

“Hey guys,” you said sheepishly. It didn’t matter that it had been 6 years since they died, talking to a rock never got easier. “I know Dad probably already told you, but we’re leaving town finally.” Your eyes started to well up a bit and you didn’t know why. “I know you loved this house, mom, and you never wanted us to leave it, but we can’t stay here anymore by ourselves, it’s just too risky and Dad and I are too weak on our own. So we’re joining a group of travelers. Specifically these two brothers.” Your Dad had agreed earlier in the day, which surprised you. It didn’t even take any attempts to convince him. You wondered if he knew something you didn’t. You turned towards the other of the identical stones. “Hazel Elizabeth,” you swallowed thickly, “I hope you’re winning pageants up there and enjoying life… unlike me,” you added. 

Before you could cry anymore, you and your fistfull of wilted wildflowers went back to the front of your house where everyone was waiting in the driveway. You chucked the flowers onto the front porch with a huff. The wilted petals on the porch made the house a visual representation of rejection. You turned and wordlessly climbed into the passenger’s seat of your dad’s pickup and the rest of the group followed. Ryan naturally climbed in the backseat but to your surprise the other seat became occupied by Joel. He and Tommy must have wanted to make sure one of them was listening to both halves of the group’s conversations. But regardless, you were headed off to Boston and leaving Hazel behind. The place, and the person.

—

Life in the group wasn’t bad… at first. Ryan did try to make a few moves on you, but thanks to Tommy and Joel he never made it far. Never far enough to scar you, at least. You were also right to join the Tommy and Joel side of the group.  They weren’t kidding when they said the boys were narcissistic, selfish, assholes and the other three genuinely were fucking each other… frequently. Joel didn’t talk much, if at all, but when he did talk it was mostly to you or Tommy, nowadays mostly you. Tommy had started to get distant lately too, the things you all had done starting to get to him. You assumed life out here would be rough, but this was a new level. Infected, FEDRA, and people were worse than you’d imagined. You’d met your first set of clickers not too long ago. You lost Blake. No one talked about it. Ryan killed him before he turned. Ryan had some kind of obsession with killing—in another world he would probably be a serial killer. His obsession forced you all to do what you were told or he would kill you, like Tommy said, and he’d like it. Doing what Ryan told you involved killing a lot of innocent people for their supplies. You only argued with him about trying to negotiate once before he showed you what happens when you question him. That demonstration was now turning into a scar across your thigh. Joel was pissed and so was your dad, but they knew better than to do anything

You’d lost the truck a couple months back, something happening to it during an attack from other raiders. Joel and Tommy tried their best to fix it, but unfortunately it just wasn’t something they could patch up. So you’d been walking since then. The toll that took on your father was heavier than you’d feared, but he was hanging in there, either for his sake or yours. 

“Hey! Welcome to Pennsylvania!” Luke announced.

“Well we’re at least in the state of one of the QZs we’re headed to,” Sash said. The decision had been made a while back that the likelihood of all 9 of you  making it into the Boston QZ was unlikely, so closer to the Philadelphia QZ - Ryan, Luke, Vicki, Phillip, and Sash would head there - Joel, Tommy, you, and your dad would keep going on to Boston. 

“This state is also hopefully flatter than the last few, I refuse to climb a mountain ever again,” Luke said breathlessly. He was certainly the group’s clown.

“I see a gas station up ahead, we can stop there for the night, see if there’s anything,” Ryan said. He and Luke went in and cleared the building first. Naturally, there wasn’t much left but some jerky. You ate a bit of that and packed some more for later before laying out your sleeping bag between your father and Joel. Phillip offered to take the first watch and after the sun went down you were all tired so there wasn’t much small talk before you all slowly drifted to sleep. 

—

You heard it at the same time as Joel. Your eyes snapped open and you made eye contact with him in the moonlight. You couldn’t have been asleep for long, an hour maybe less with the way Joel still looked very much awake. He was never one to sleep well, you’d noticed, but he always at least acted like he was trying. He looked past your head behind you and slowly brought his finger to his lips. A clicker. Where the hell was Phillip? Didn’t Ryan and Luke clear the building? Joel slowly grabbed his gun, squinted one eye and killed it in one shot which startled everyone else awake.

“What the fuck?” Phillip shouted gun clattering to the ground in surprise from where he’d been slumped against the cash register’s counter, asleep. His and everyone else’s dismay, however, turned out to be the least of your worries when you heard more of them barreling up from a basement you didn’t know this place had. At least three, maybe four. While you all started shooting in the dark corner where there were no windows to see Tommy asked what everyone had to have been thinking.

“I THOUGHT YOU CLEARED IT?”

“WE DID! THERE WAS A SHELF OVER THERE THAT WE MOVED AND FOUND A TRAP DOOR BUT NOTHING WAS UNDER THERE I SWEAR. THEY MUST HAVE BEEN HIDING UNDER THERE,” Luke yelled. Dumbasses. You heard Vicki scream as one had managed to lurch toward her and your father moved over to help her. After a short minute or two, thanks to 9 guns and Joel’s ridiculously good aim, you finally managed to get everything under control. You all packed up quickly and went outside just as the sun was rising.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Joel asked sternly.

“How were we supposed to know what was under there after we cleared it?” Luke said defensively. 

“Why didn’t you recover it with the shelf?” Vicki asked while being held by Sash, she looked quite shaken, the clicker had gotten super close to her, she’s really lucky she didn’t get bit.

“Cause we cleared it! Didn’t you Ryan?” Luke desperately asked? Ah, Ryan was the one who “cleared” the crawlspace. You looked at Tommy and Joel who both looked at you and then each other as understanding crossed everyone’s faces. Ryan was more of a, take a look and call it a day kind of checker— not a thorough kind of guy. 

“Hang on you can’t blame this all on us, fucking Phillip fell asleep on watch!” Ryan argued in a sad attempt to continue trying to save his reliability. 

“What did you expect me to do? We’d been walking for miles all day, I was exhausted!” Phillip said.

“Well still, that ain’t how keepin’ watch works,” Tommy piped in putting his two cents in the growing argument money pile.

“GUYS! Guys, we got different things we need to be worried about right now. What’s done is done,” your dad said. You recognized that tone. It was the same tone he used 6 years ago when he told you to go to your room.

“Dad?” you said slowly, taking a step toward him, and he took a step back, “Dad, what the hell are you talking about?” He lifted his arm out and showed you all the bite there. It didn’t look deep, the damn clicker barely had enough of his arm to let all of its teeth break the flesh, but enough of them had. It’d only been maybe 15 minutes since he’d been bit and the bite already looked worse.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” your dad said softly. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you looked at him, the bite, and then him again. No, this wasn’t happening. 

“Shit Mike,” Tommy said.

“Wha- what are we gonna do?” you stuttered. What are you gonna do? You couldn’t let him turn into one of those monsters, not like your family did, but you couldn’t kill your own father. And yet at the same time you didn’t want someone else to kill him either.

“Kill him,” Ryan said, “I don’t think he wants to turn into an infected, do you Mike?”

“He’s right sweetheart, you have to let him kill me, it’ll be easier, you’ll know I didn’t suffer.” You didn’t try to keep the tears at bay now. Your breaths hitched and you were finding it harder and harder to breathe but you shook your head. 

“No, no, I’ll do it,” you said shakily, “I’ll… prevent you from turning.”

“Sweetheart, I can’t ask you to do that,” your dad argued and was immediately followed by protests from the rest of the group as well.

“I don’t think that's a good idea, sunshine,” Joel said. Sunshine, that was new, but you didn’t have the capacity to think about that. You turned to him and tried to plead with your eyes. You weren’t about to let your father’s death be a way for Ryan to get off. Your father had killed your sister and your mother and lived everyday with that burden, surely you will make it with this burden. Somehow, he understood, and you watched him take a breath, look you in the eyes in a way you couldn’t describe, and open his mouth, but before he could offer, you interrupted him.

“I’m doing it,” you turned back to your father, who was crying softly now. Vicki walked up to your father and hugged him.

“Thank you for saving me, you still barely know me, but I’m so sorry,” she said through sobs. You went back into the gas station, your father followed behind  and then moved to stand in front of you. Joel and Tommy went in after but waited at the door. You looked your father in the eyes, trying to memorize every detail, and you realized his hand was slowly twitching as he brought it up to your face, like Hazel’s did, and you held his hand.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, but I need you to promise me something. Keep going, don’t let this hold you back from finding a better life. Keep thinking of others even in times like these, you know it's what your mother would have wanted. Promise me,” he said through sobs.

“I promise,” you choked out. You were trying so hard to be strong for him. You didn’t want his last memory of you to be one of weakness, no matter how heartbreaking this whole situation is.

“Your mother, Hazel, and I will be waiting for you when you’re ready, so take your time, but sweetheart, nothing you’ve done has ever wavered my belief that you are a kind, smart, beautiful woman just trying to find her way in this broken world. I love you my sweet girl,” he pulled you into a hug and you squeezed him, trying to memorize the feeling of his heart beating against you.

“I love you too,” you finally sobbed out.

“Look out for her and please take care of her,” your father asked Joel and Tommy over your shoulder. There wasn’t a single second of hesitation before Joel said.

“We will.”

“Of course,” Tommy said. The Millers, despite it all, were good people and deep down you trusted them to keep their promise. 

Your father pulled away first and you held his still twitching hand. “We’re running low on time, sweetheart. I don’t want you to see me any worse,” your father said softly and he kept your hand in his until he turned around and kneeled to the ground. You attempted to control your breathing, blinking back your tears. The worst thing you could do right now is miss and have to shoot your father twice. You knew he was exaggerating the time frame. He probably still had hours before things would become unsafe, at least that’s what you could put together from your encounters with people before they got infected, but you didn’t want to see him get any worse.

“It’s okay, sweet girl, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay sweet girl,” your father repeated over and over. You summoned whatever power your dad had that night so many years ago. You looked at the back of his head and raised your gun, you inhaled, looked away, exhaled, and bang.

You dropped to the ground as did your fathers body, your knees already soaked in your father’s blood. Your father, who you had just murdered. You saw your gun get kicked away by a black boot and large arms were wrapped around you as you looked up to see… Joel, comforting you, holding you, and talking to you. You could see his mouth moving but you couldn’t hear him quite yet. You could still barely breathe. All you could do was scream.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, sunshine, just breathe. Just breathe, breathe with me.” You somehow managed to focus enough to hear what he was saying over your gut wrenching cries and eventually slow your breathing enough to go from screams to quiet cries in his arms. You felt another hand on your back and you assumed it to be Tommy’s. He blocked your view of your father with his body and your knuckles were white from the grip you had on Joel’s jacket.

You stayed there for a few minutes before suddenly standing up from where you were on the ground with Joel and Tommy and composed yourself. You’d shown enough emotion, but you all had places to be. This wasn’t a world where you had time to mourn or the safety to be vulnerable. You could only move on and use your grief to fuel your need for survival.

“We should get going soon, don’t want to waste anymore time,” you said.

“Okay. I think I might look around for a second. Help me, will ya Joel?” Tommy said softly, but you already headed outside where the rest of the group was. They all were just looking at you, they no doubt heard your screams so they must have been surprised when you emerged first with Joel and Tommy following a few minutes after. Joel handed you your gun back and you put it in the waistband of your jeans. There was still something different in his eyes when he looked at you but you had no idea what it was. Everyone looked at you with a sort of pity, even Ryan, but Joel’s was something else.

“Lets go,” you said and started walking East to Philadelphia, with Joel following right behind you, followed by Tommy, then Vicki, and then the rest of the group. You made a promise to your father, and you intended to keep it.

—

You couldn’t imagine how much further you all walked that day. It was the most you all had ever walked, probably due to the determination after your father’s death combined with the fact you now didn’t have your father’s age wearing you all down. A morbid, but true, fact. You tried to find the good things about your newfound no parent situation. You were 23 years old and had never been a day without one of your parents except for your occasional summer camp stay. You might even be the last of your goddamn bloodline alive since your father had never been able to reach any of his or your mother’s families when the government was still trying to make mail work. Yeah, dumb. You were now officially alone, and that thought almost relieved you. Now you really only have to worry about the safety of yourself. And maybe Joel and Tommy, but they haven’t proved to need your protection so far. 

Your attention was brought back to the present with the burning of your thighs and calves, but feeling that physical pain was helping you deal with your emotional pain, so you decided to just really keep feeling the burn. Joel, Tommy, and you made up the back of the group, Sash, Vick, and Phillip in the middle, and Ryan and Luke in the front as always. This irked you a little bit, the way Ryan’s attitude and temper stopped anyone from arguing with him about whether or not he was trustworthy enough to be leading you all. A deep voice next to you saying something brings you out of your trance.

“What?” you say to Joel.

“Tunnels,” he repeats, “in the weird crawl space basement thing. Some not infected people must have been trying to stay safe down there and dig tunnels to wherever.  Probably came up to use the gas station supplies when one of them must have gotten infected and then…”

“Gotten at least some of ‘em sick and the others climbed out and put the shelf over it. We couldn’t tell ya how far the tunnels went but ya got a lotta time on your hands in 10 years,” Tommy continued. That’s right, 10 years. If you could guess anything about the time of year it must have been March, maybe April based on the weather warming up. Either way, that meant your birthday was coming up soon in May. Not that you’d do anything for it or tell anyone. It was just confirmation of your aging and unavoidable acknowledgement that you were passing milestones Hazel would never get to. Gosh, she’d have turned 18 this year. An official adult. You couldn’t even imagine the chaos.

“So with Ryan’s habit of not being thorough,” Joel growled. 

“I don’t wanna hear either of you say it could have been avoided,” you huffed. In what world did they see telling you this as helping?

“No, we’re not saying that. What we’re trying to get at is that this may be the thing to convince the others Ryan is in no position to lead this. The things he’s done, the things he’s made us do, and the things he doesn’t do that put us in danger can’t be ignored anymore,” Tommy pleads.

“Correction—he’s saying that. I think we should keep our fuckin’ mouths shut until we drop their asses in Philedelphia. I was gonna say his habit of not being thorough and sharing things with the group got your father infected and endangered the rest of us,” Joel whisper shouted at his brother. You three were far enough back that your conversations would at least be muffled to everyone else, but you never know how sound can carry. Plus, the Miller boys could yell.

“Which is exactly my point! Listen, sugar, I just think that if you…” 

“You wanna use my father getting infected as a push point to, what, put you in charge?” you question him. He didn’t have an answer for that. “That’s ridiculous. Joel’s right, just keep your mouth shut for a couple more days and then we’ll be on our own and you can be in charge.” Tommy grabbed your arm, stopping you and forcing you to look at him.

“This isn’t about me being in charge, sugar, this is about the possibility of not letting more innocent people die,” Tommy started calling you sugar when he noticed whenever you ransacked a store for supplies you always looked for gummy candies or something sweet in an attempt to feed your never ending sweet tooth. You used to think the nickname was sweet, made you feel like part of the team, but now it just enraged you.

“Well, sugar,” you say back to him, your voice laced with venom, “We’ve been doing this for almost 4 years together now, and I don’t even know how long you were doing it before then, so I’m not sure what the hell is making you get cold feet all the sudden about the things we’ve done because it’s not gonna change anything. It doesn’t matter who told us to do it, we did it. So I’m sorry that you’re having trouble sleeping at night, but if we’re going to make it to Boston we have to leave things as they are.” Both Miller boys looked at you with their jaws slightly dropped. Losing your father had already started to change things. That was the most words you’d said to anybody at once, even your father, in the 4 years they’ve known you. There was no one there to do the talking while you observed anymore, so you were gonna talk. 

“And my father wasn’t one of the innocent people you need to feel guilty about losing. Did you know I listened to him kill my sister and my mother on outbreak day when they got sick? Did you know that whenever our hospitality started being taken for granted he threatened people with bullets to their legs and shoulders? Or did you know he used to tell me that I couldn’t kill anything, not a farm animal or infected, because a woman shouldn’t have blood on her hands? And all that was before I met you and you know what he did after, so don’t try to make my father out to be some innocent old man who died protecting a stranger.” Your father was a brave man, you loved him more than anything, and maybe it’s just the grief talking, but after the world fell apart, he became a different kind of man. Of course, as always, this was the same old story for most people after the outbreak and the things your father was guilty of, you were guilty of too, but he was not an innocent man. The Miller boys didn’t know this but there were things he did that Ryan didn’t ask him to. Things that were too dark, even for you. He’d have done anything to protect you, he just didn’t know when it was too far.

“Is there a problem here?” Ryan asked. You hadn’t realized in your rage that you’d called attention from the rest of the group.

“No,” you said, “just talking to Tommy about how I killed my father today. What’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?” You finished your response with a smile. Mentioning killing someone distracted Ryan and made everyone else uncomfortable, given the situation. Then, asking what Ryan wanted the plan to be reminded him that he was in charge and stroked his ego so he’d forget what started the conversation and wouldn’t get suspicious about your argument with Tommy. Therefore, if anyone else was still suspicious, they wouldn’t mention it now. 

If you had to name your top three strengths it would be observant, tactical, and seductive. You had an allure that pulled people in like no one in your group had ever seen. And sometimes you didn’t even have to try, they’d just look at you and do what you suggested. This especially worked on men because most of them think with their dicks and boy did you have the looks to make their pants twitch. It hadn’t worked out in your favor a couple times, but Joel would always barge in and rescue you. He had an effect on people that ignited fear, but you knew who he really was. He’d only been too late once, and he swore never again.

“Well, looking at the sun we got roughlyyy 2 hours to sunset, so I say we use the rest of our time to find a spot to spend the night. We should make it to Philadelphia within the fortnight,” Ryan said. You all made your way into a neighborhood that had been bombed after outbreak day and found a house that had managed to stay mostly intact. 

“Joel and I will do the sweep,” Tommy said and you smiled at him softly. You may have had an argument earlier, but you knew where he was coming from deep down and you couldn’t blame him.

After the sweep and looking to see if there was anything useful left in the house, everyone ate food from their packs and by dusk everyone was getting ready to settle in for the night. Today you laid your sleeping bag in between Tommy and Joel.

“I’ll take the first watch,” Joel said quickly. He made eye contact with you but neither of you said anything. You shimmied down into your sleeping bag, watching as Joel positioned himself in front of the window, you glanced down and when you looked back up, Joel was looking at you. Eventually, sleep lulled you away and you felt safer than you had in months knowing Joel was the one watching over you.

—

It had been roughly two weeks since your father died, well since you killed him, and they were really tough. Not just for you and your grief, but for Tommy and Joel too. Their relationship had become a bit strained since you had a run in with another group of raiders and Tommy had held back. Which caused you and Joel to step up to cover his lack of  “results” as Ryan would say. You did things you didn’t even know you were capable of because your father had never let you, and Joel delivered as always. He had this ability to just zone out into a blind rage and finish his “tasks.” This was starting to frustrate Tommy more and more every time Joel had to do something. Thankfully you should only be a few hours out from Philadelphia, and under the cover of night, over half your group would split and it would just be you and the Millers. Then hopefully when your decisions were in your own hands Tommy would calm down a bit and realize you have to do what you have to to survive out here.

“There it is,” Phillip said, “the Philadelphia QZ.” The QZ was surrounded by a large concrete wall, making it look more intimidating than safe. 

“Alright, we’ll get a little closer, wait till dark, then part ways,” Ryan said.

By nightfall, the group had dished out what supplies they had left to you and the Millers and started making their advance into the QZ. The plan was to go around to the side, cut a hole in the chain link fence, and sneak in through the tunnels. 

They never made it. The FEDRA guards must have noticed movement because before you knew it they were firing their weapons and your group members were being blown to bits. Safely hidden, you weren’t worried about getting hit yourself, just what might happen if they came out to assess the bodies and found you. So you ran off quickly, trying to process what just happened. They’re supposed to let people into the QZs, that’s the purpose of them. Would that happen to us?

“I don’t think we can sneak in,” you said after the running/walking in the dark you had been partaking in.

“The fuck you mean?” Joel said to you.

“You watched them get blown to bits because they probably saw the movement and thought they were infected. We’re not infected, so why shouldn’t we be able to walk in the front doors?” you questioned them. If Tommy doesn’t want to do things Ryan’s way anymore, here’s a start. “Look either way, we either get into the QZ or die.”

“We’re getting into that QZ,” Tommy said.

“Yes we will,” Joel confirmed, “but first we sleep, we’re far enough out now, I’ll watch.”

“Are you sure? You watched last night,” Tommy pried.

“Yeah I can do it Joel,” you pleaded him. If anything, you wanted time to process through watching your “friends” get blown up right before you. 

“Fine, but wake me up when you get tired,” Joel said.

“Or me,” Tommy added, annoyed.

Both brothers got into their sleeping bags, still on either side of you, and they went to sleep. You clutched your gun in your hand a little tighter, you rarely kept watch when your dad was around, someone else just always ended up taking it or he did, but you didn’t mind it. It gave you a real chance to think. And tonight you had quite a bit to think about. You didn’t let yourself get super close to anyone other than Joel and Tommy, it was too much of a risk to get close with everyone because of all the uncertainty out there. It wasn’t anything personal, it was more of a protection method.

But that didn’t mean there weren’t things you’d miss and times you’d think about. Naturally, since you, Sash, and Vick were together all the time your cycles ended up linking up. When that happened and you hadn’t found any pads or tampons in a while, you would use old ripped up clothes instead. Whenever you were near a body of water, the three of you would get up early and rinse them out and just talk as if you weren’t in the middle of an apocalypse. You couldn’t even remember what you’d even talk about but you just remember laughing with them until one of the guys would uncomfortably call you back. They were always so on edge when you all were on your periods.

There was also the time during one of Vick, Sash, and Phil’s night time exercise sessions that woke everyone up. At the beginning, it always woke you up but eventually you could sleep through it. This one night in particular, however, the three of them were so lost in the moment when Vick was supposed to be keeping watch that they didn’t realize the shelf they were fucking against wasn’t that stable and they knocked it over onto Blake, Luke, and Ryan with a huge crash. Thankfully, the shelves in the gas station were mostly empty and the boys didn’t have anything more severe than some deep cuts, bad bruises, and sore bodies but none of them kept watch for a while after that.

Blake also had a thing for you for a while. He’d always try to walk by you, talk to you, and offer you things, much to the annoyance of both Joel and Tommy because then they couldn’t talk to you or your father about anything that he would run off to tell Ryan about. He was a sweet guy and everything, he even picked some wildflowers for you one time which did genuinely touch you. Plus he was a better guy than Ryan but he was bitten by an infected, you didn’t cry about it.

Then there was what plagued your mind the most, your father. Who he was before and the man you ignored he was becoming. You wanted to keep your childhood innocent version of him in your mind but then you’d think about things he willingly did, and your image of him in your mind started blurring into someone you didn’t want to acknowledge, which is what hurt the most. You knew you’d started to push him away when you started traveling 4 years ago, so you can’t help but blame yourself for what he became. Which you know isn’t fair, but you can’t help that’s the way it makes you feel. You sighed to yourself in frustration and blinked back a few tears and looked up at the stars. That was one thing you appreciate about the lack of electricity, less light pollution, more stars. Through the trees you found the little and big dippers and some other constellations.

You tore your eyes away from the stars and as you sat on your sleeping bag, now staring out into the distance you brought yourself out of your head by listening to the soft, rumbling snores of Joel and the chainsaw-level snorting that came from Tommy when he is actually getting restful sleep. You chuckled softly to yourself and rolled your eyes because of course, you can’t really blame him for snoring but damn he was loud and would certainly dampen your ability to hear people coming. You prayed to a God you can’t decide if you still believe in that there were no infected nearby. You clutched your mother’s necklace and fiddled with it anxiously, but here you are with the Miller brothers, gearing yourself up to finish what was hopefully your last time ever having to walk across half the country.

[toughpaperround]

911 Cast Bios

Here's a list of them in one place, in order of appearance in 9-1-1 (fox, later abc). I choose them based on characters I enjoy, or where there are interesting connections / factoids to be found in their bios.

Gavin Stenhouse (The Priest)

Mariette Hartley (Patricia Clark, Abby's mother)

Claudia Christian (LAFD Capt. Maynard)

Debra Christofferson (Sue, Dispatcher)

Grasie Mercedes (Beth, in prenatal yoga class, 1x07)

Rebecca Wisocky (Marjorie, in lift crash, 1x09)

Connor Trinneer (bomb squad, 2x01)

Bryan Safi (Josh Russo, dispatcher)

Romi Dias (Chief Miranda Williams)

Ana Mercedes (Abuela Isabel)

Terri Hoyos (Aunt Pepa)

Christine Estabrook (Gloria, Dispatcher)

Devin Kelley (Shannon Diaz)

Wes Brown (Mounted Police Officer)

Rick Chambers (Dwight, newsreader)

Tara Karsian (Ruth)

Lawrence Pressman and Francis X. McCarthy (Mitchell & Thomas)

Romy Rosemont & Daniel Roebuck (Lola & Norman Peterson)

Brian Thompson (Capt. Gerrard)

Lou Ferrigno Jr (firefighter Tommy)

Brian Hallisay (Doug Kendall)

Julie Oullette (Blair, Elf Helper)

Marsha Warfield (Toni Wilson)

Danny Nucci (LAPD detective)

Sasha Roiz (LAPD Det. Ransone)

Paula Marshall (Helena Diaz)

George DelHoyo (Ramon Diaz)

Pepi Sonuga (Athena Carter, flashback in 3x07)

Nicole Delgado (Maynard, flashback in 3x07)

Eddie McGee (Frank the therapist)

Jack McGee (Red the retired firefighter, 3x16)

Deborah May (Cindy, 3x16)

Rumer Willis (Georgia, train Vic, 3x18)

Brooke Shields (counsellor, 3x18)

Dee Wallace (Mrs Margaret Buckley)

Gregory Harrison (Mr Phillip Buckley)

Colin McCalla (Connor, Buck's friend)

Chelsea Kane (Kameron, Connor's wife)

Aaron Staton (Daniel Buckley)

Laith Wallschleger (133 medic, 6x15)

Mark Lawson (pilot, 7x01)

Kathryn Boswell & Chris Gartin (hot-tub couple, 7x01)

Mercedes Colon (Ship Captain, 7x01-3)

Rick Cosnett (cruise crew, 7x01-3)

Eddie Jemison (cruise ship doc, 7x02-3)

Jesse Palmer & Joey Graziadei (7x04)

Richard Brooks (Chief Simpson, s7)

Exie Booker (Carl, 7x06)

Malcolm-Jamal Warner (Amir, s7)

Veronica Falcón (Cllr Ortiz, s7)

John Brotherton (Tim Nash, 7x08)

Tony Amendola (Herman, 7x08)

Paul Nobrega (Monty the Beekeeper, 8x01)

Hotshots group, s8: Callum Blue (Brad); Justin Taite (#1); Morgan West (director) & 1st AD

Bee-nado airplane gang: Cindy Chavez (Capt Dominguez); Devin McGee (Co-pilot); Bayley Corman (Tia); (Mr & Mrs Grandparent);

Adela Paez (Nurse Camila, 8x03 etc)

In draft ofc. Do check the updated OG post if you're looking at a reblog:

Finnigan and Silverman (divorcing couple, 8x06)

Zach Tinker (Officer Sparks, LAPD, 8x07)

Kelvin Han Yee

Glenn Plummer (Dennis Jenkins, 3x07, s8a)

Main resource is IMDb, with extra material from Wikipedia, podcasts or youtube on occasion. Where I use 911 images they are screengrabs I edited. Other images generally from imdb.

[heavenzscent]

what are some of your jeankasa modern au hcs? ☺️ and i’m kind of curious what you think their respective fashion styles r like

I’ll start with Fashion :

As for fashion styles : I’ve made two posts showing how I think they would dress.

Mikasas style : X

As a child she likes girly sort of cottage core clothes and overalls. In HS she goes through a goth phase, more in a 80s/ 90s goth then an early 2000s mall/ hot topic sort of way. But she did enjoy getting accessories at hotopic and twilight sleepy shirts. By the end of HS and Uni she is mostly in aethlesure. She was so many sets. She still wears dark liner as a nod to her old style and she’s back to gravitating to pinks , and blues again. She is a silver girl for sure. She wears a lot of jewelry even if she’s wearing a unitard and a hoodie. She manages to never look messy somehow. Her crazy bed head is her best kept secret only Sasha ,Armin and Eren know about it. Her makeup bag is expensive but kinda bare bones. She wouldn’t be the type to have a makeup room.

Jeans style: X

As a child he would get dressed by his mom like a little dork alot of sweater vests. In HS I think he would dress a bit accurate to bad boy Jean in Isayamas school castes. I think he would try to break free of his mothers styling choices for him.

In Uni he would find himself. Jean loves gold. He is the type to ask for gold for every special occasion. He has a gold Cuban chain that he never takes off. He has some diamond studs but he only wears them to parties and Connie teases him.

He gravitates towards , preppy /sporty sort of clothes with a 80’s and 90s influence. Think Tommy Hilfiger and college sweatshirts / caps. He also wears a lot of work wear and takes alot of inspo from people like James Dean, Paul Newman . And generally old Americana and music videos.

He would actually be surprisingly articulate in fashion.

He loves dressing up but acts really nonchalant when people comment on his clothes. Although He once sliced his food budget in half for 2 months so he could buy a dressy coat. Any vacation he goes on he looks up the shopping first then food places.

HEAD CANONS

Jean and Mikasa are both really involved in university extra curriculars and they make it look easy.

Mikasa finds Jean a little over bearing at first but since she sees him at so many community and Uni events she gets to know him and actually finds him kinda funny when he isn't trying and reliable.

Jean was in a frat for his first semester before he decided it was dumb because someone was rude to Marco.

Mikasa and Marco really get along and that makes Jean jealous at first when then were all just friends.

Marco and Sasha finally get Jean and Mikasa confident enough to ask eachother out

Jean spent a whole day learning how to change car oil because Mikasa complained about the price one time. Then he casually dropped that he had been tired because he been changing his car oil earlier and if anyone needed their oil changed they could hit him up. Unfortunatly that meant everyone else in the firend group now gets free oil changes now.

Mikasa is never on socials and Jean is on them too much

Mikasa has a extremely clean car but the trunk is basically a storage unit

Both spend too much when they go shopping

Jean turns anything and everything into a date. Barnes and noble date ! Study date ! Errand date ! Taco Bell date !

Everyone thinks Jean and Mikasa are just some odd opposites attract fling . When they move in it’s a shock ! When they get engaged it’s a shock!

Have more but those are connected to my neglected Uni AU fic.

[orbitalpirate]

What social media sites do the Greyhounds all prefer

Instagram: Jamie, Isaac, Dani, Richard, Tom, Kyle

Snapchat: Jan, Colin, Jeff, Tommy, Bhargava

Facebook: PAUL, Arlo, Babatunde

Twitter(X): Sam, Thierry, Anders, Sasha, Declan

Reddit: Robbie

Tumblr: Bumbercatch

[sparklewrites1]

[WHO/WHAT I WRITE FOR]

[LEGALLY BLONDE]

Vivian and Elle

[SHADOW & BONE TV SHOW]

Jesper Fahey

Inej Ghafa

Alina Starkov

Nikolai Lantsov

Nina Zenik

Matthias Helvar

Kaz Brekker (platonically for x reader)

Genya Safin (platonically for x reader)

[SCREAM]

I will not write for Stu, Billy, Ethan, Richie, Cotton, Wayne, or Mrs Loomis because those are not characters I know how to write nor do I really want to. (Sorry!)

Chad Meeks-Martin

Mindy Meeks-Martin

Quinn Bailey

Kirby Reed

Jill Roberts

Sidney Prescott

Dewey Riley

Gale Weathers (Platonic only)

Samantha Carpenter

Tara Carpenter

Liv Mckenzie

Amber Freeman

Charlie Walker

Wes Hicks

Laura Crane

Anika Kayoko

Any other character

[DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES]

Xenk Yendar

Simon Aumar

Edgin (platonic only)

[BARBIE]

Margot!Barbie

[NARNIA]

Edit: I'll only write platonically for the pevensie siblings and caspian (except peter)

I'll also write for Tumnus

[MCU]

Kate Bishop

ALL OF THE AVENGERS (platonic only.)

Yelena Belova (platonic only considering she is aro/ace in the comics and most likely the same in mcu)

Jennifer Walters

Michelle Jones

Loki (Platonic mostly)

[THE LAST OF US]

Dina

Ellie

Joel and Tommy [platonic only tho]

There's more to be added to this list I'm just lazy rn.

[ARCANE]

Mel

Vi

Caitlin

[RENFIELD 2023]

Robert Renfield

[(JUJUTSU KAISEN)]

Gojo Satoru

Getou Suguru

Nanami Kento

Yuji Itadori (no suggestive stuff)

Megumi Fushiguro (no suggestive stuff)

Nobara Kugisaki (no suggestive stuff)

Maki Zenin (no suggestive stuff)

Yuta Okkotsu (no suggestive stuff)

Toge Inumaki (no suggestive stuff)

[HORIZON ZERO DAWN/FORBIDDEN WEST]

Aloy

Varl

Kotallo

Erend (platonic only)

Rost (platonic only)

Seyka

Vanasha

[THE WALKING DEAD] (I'm only on s7 so NO SPOILERS please)

Pete Dolgen

Rick Grimes (platonic only)

Michonne (platonic only)

Maggie Rhee (platonic only)

Glenn Rhee (platonic only)

Carl Grimes (platonic only)

Beth Greene

Sasha Williams (platonic only)

Abraham Ford (platonic only)

Rosita Espinosa (platonic only)

Eugene Porter (platonic only)

Tara Chambler (platonic only)

Louis (twdg)

Kenny (twdg) (platonic only)

Lee Everett (twdg) (platonic only)

Clementine (twdg) (platonic only)

Omid (twdg) (platonic only)

Christa (twdg) (platonic only)

Luke (twdg) (platonic only)

Rebecca (twdg) (platonic only)

Javier Garcia (twdg) (platonic only)

Lilly (twdg) (platonic only)

[the-firebird69]

NEW! Macalister Motors Superfin from Fast Furious Spy Racers by RGTV

https://youtu.be/EoBQ95ijV1s?si=RNeEI0U82JuYs8Ou

The car is unique to the movie in other words we think that we make it and they use it in the movie and it's not a known brand and it's very hot and it's designed very well and designed to be a fly car and a converted car a front wheel drive car of any kind will work and we need this and we do know what the study has shown about the regular sedan this is for a mid size which is not the compact it's the size our son had as a Kia Optima and the step up from his is a perfect fit to make this car and he wants to know if Mac wants to turn Lori's into one and it's symbolic and it will be reminding people. And he says no someone will try and do that but then he gets the idea we're doing it and it doesn't mean that so he's gonna look at it and he is frustrated and angry and you keep all the original stuff and if she's moved or comes out you put it back together and he says wow that's good then you can do it to my car now he's interested because this sounds like the stupid idea that might come out and Tommy F actually took the car and he might be sashy and he's Sasha Cohen we think. Who is also infested in the furious no is in the movie Talladega Knights. So we're gonna get going on this and I'm approving it and he wants to help and he wants to send me prototypes using the Kia because he's appreciative of his father and mother and they say we don't want to do it but we might have to. And this car would be awesome. There's no such thing as mcallister racing and there will be he says and people have in mind in memory and think I remember that from somewhere. The name actually came from the TV show with the Coyote X as Judge McAllister and he does point that out and then he's responsible for this kind of thing happening with the serious fast and furious that's a cartoon but it's not really it's cartoonized if you watch it it's very intense. This stuff is very hot and a lot of it is his and he's a giant I am too but not that class you have to understand he's doing it for a reason. Everybody thinks they can steal stuff and you don't end up with anything. I guess it's the thrill of the Chase. This car will be very fast and it'll be fun as hell to try and chase our friend around in it

mac dady

ok ok this is the car and i do grab it and from japan i think.  and it would be trump. and it makes sense now. It's true as hell and it's I was involved in the Volkswagen but that was not the same type of vehicle it's fast but it's not fast it's made to be like a regular coach and the platform that this is on is like the platform that Dave had and it's a little bit beefier and the Kia is a little bit beef here believe it or not it's got a real frame and he was safer in that car than most cars. And it's really stupid because he's gonna look loaded and he has absolutely no money but people probably try and get him money because he looks loaded and that's not the answer the answer is that he is not loaded doesn't have anything and it's the Mac code and they want them to look at people like our friend here and we get it didn't work with the Kia then they put it on the Kia wait that makes sense. They had it ready too

tommy f

and this is fun He says if I establish a track record he's going to have to try and break it and he might try it himself and that would be intense. His father and mother won't let him they say so have BG do it but with his car I can't stand this this is what it's like that guy can really move in its BG it's because he doesn't weigh anything and he'll call him the lightweight all night until he starts arguing and it makes BG feel better believe it or not. This is gonna be fun and he says he wants to do it and he wants Tommy have to get going on it he says he's got the design and it's the one with the funny looking rear end he says no way that's the one people like it's like a fly car and a friend says make it a little shallower cause that's actually a little bit big. Agrees in some angles it looks massively awesome and he's going to go ahead and try and do it but really it's not his car so wondering who his car is and you can see the movie where it comes from and it's from Trump and Tommy F has to take it because he thinks they might have stone chips that are different or know where they are it's going to start up pretty soon it's not the same car as the one he made recently that's the venom this would be different and he's worked on this he says because of his mouth he says that we're his people and stuff and it's actually the first vehicle he gets after all of this crazy stuff and there'd be an agreement and stuff for him to drive it around and the reason why is a little bit obscure and is famous for certain things and all these famous wealthy people know him and John Remallard knows that and if he gets this car they're going to be sticking to him instead of just him getting plucked clean

bg

Olympus

and sit pass it ll by and be a pompus ass. no but ok. and yeh he takes it serously. and it is sasha.  we ddo this. breake sherrys record.  I all of a sudden see what you're saying I break the record of hers sasha will break mine with your car and the Mac Proper will come out and he might break the record before you get it and Tommy F says that's kind of how it went he didn't use it much maybe once or twice and put it back and that's the story and it will make them come out and and we see what happens we think it works.

trump

andyeh the charis lol needs money for tht and i laugh ok the same chairs lol not heavy

...

Olympus

Wow you figured it out but it's out of love and he loves his wife and he wants to be with her and us too with his father and his mother and his best friends and we grew up with him every 2nd of the day. We know how he is he doesn't like these people they're weird and **** you'd like to show them down and to beat them at their own game in the race and to bring the Mac proper up and yeah they have Sasha do the race if someone gets the track record after the one our son to do it and that's how it's done this is great this is greatness OK this works for me. I'm starting to see what he's saying he's gonna be a big man for us and he's gonna do it on purpose and he wants to and is ready to and all these people are very lame but that's good and we have time and we're building.

Thor Freya

and he is fun but man what a tude like trump sings and trumpsings it out of ignorance mostly but  man ok youi shouild seethe readout off the chart. for my people and  up there

macs

we see it

mac daddy

Oympus

[wqbytop100]

WQBY (the world of Q)

TOP150 For the week ending February 18, 2024

I Don't Wanna Worry --NEEDTOBREATHE - 1

Weak --Vintage Culture, Maverick Sabre, Tom Breu -3

Jet Plane --R3HAB, VIZE, JP Cooper -10

Never Be Friends --Jost, Mingue -4

Heart Still Beating --Nathan Dawe, Bebe Rexha -6

She's On My Mind --Romy -8

Anyone --Morgan Page -2

Dirty Desire --Vicetone -5

It's Love (If We Get It Right) --Anthony Russo -15

You're Hired --NEIKED, Ayra Starr -9

Close Your Eyes --Lucas Estrada, Tribbs, Stephen Puth -7

Both ---Tiesto, 21 Savage, BIA -18

Spicy Margarita --Jason Derulo, Michael Bublé -11

Graveyard --A R I Z O N A -13

Other Boys ---Marshmello, Dove Cameron -17

Feels Like Us --GT_OFICE, ALWY SNNY, Robbie Rosen -16

You --Svidden, Seeb -34

One On One --The Knocks, Sofi Tucker -14

Yes, And? --Ariana Grande -24

Reckless Child ---Milky Chance -19

All Fckd Up --Kapuzen -12

Waterslides --Tiesto, Rudimental, Absolutely -25

Kill Anyone --Two Feet, Ari Abdul -23

Kissing Strangers -USHER -150

Diamond Therapy --Diplo, Walker & Royce, Channel Tres -22

Bad Blood --Theresa Rex -20

***Weight Of The World --Bonnie & Clyde - (new)

Dark Skies -- A R I Z O N A -21

***Mr Useless --Shygirl, SG Lewis - (new)

Spend the Night --BJ the Chicago Kid, Coco Jones -26

I'll Be There --Robin Schulz, Rita Ora, Tiago PZK -28

U Miss Me --Vicetone -33

Dreamteam --Galantis, Neon Trees -35

More Baby --Chris Lake, Aluna -29

Easy --3LAU, XIRA -47

See You Again ---Vicetone, Anna Clendenning -38

Hangin' On --A R I Z O N A -43

AEIOU- --PNAU, Empire Of the Sun -36

Good In Goodbye ---Frank Walker, Trivecta -49

How Do I Say Goodbye --Adventure Club, Delaney Jane-41

Stress You --Lucas Estrada, SUPER Hi -37

Sorry Now - - A R I Z O N A -39

Wanna --Paul Dally -42

Flex --Tony Dark Eyes -63

Next Years Light --Elliot Moss -64

Go Off --Mike Candys -45

Lift Off ---Dombresky -58

Ohh LALA --Sasha GiGi, Idris Elba -44

Young & Foolish --Loud Luxury, Charlieonafriday -50

Strangers --Kenya Grace -40

Good Morning --Timmy Trumpet, Alie Farben, YOU -30

The Tower --Future Islands -48

Nevada --Vicetone, Cuzi Zuehisdorff -46

Fire --Alan Walker, YUQI, JVKE, (G)I-DLE -54

Summertime Friends --The Chainsmokers -133

Sweet Venom --ENHYPEN -57

Save My Love --Destiny Rogers -52

Tension --Kylie Minogue -53

<>Twisted --Laura Davidson -last on @#105 1.18.24

Body Moving --Eliza Rose, Calvin Harris -55

Cutting Loose --Disco Lines, J. Worra, Anabel Englund -27

No Reason --The Chemical Brothers (Chris Lake remix) -31

Rhythm Machine --Westend, Max Styler -32

One Last Dance --Imanbek, Ali Gatie -51

Fall Again --HAYLA -56

Heat Rising --Pete Tong, Jem Cooke, Jules Buckley -59

Run Free (Countdown) --Tiesto, R3HAB -60

Do You Feel It --VAMERO, Cyril M Mougleta -75

ADHD -Mae Stephens -71

Get Dirty --Return of the Jaded, Tommie Sunshine -61

Living In A Haze --Milky Chance -62

Triumph ---Bishop Briggs -68 [starts vocals]

Good For You --Dimitri Vegas, Chapter & Verse, Goodboys -87

Forever (Stay Like This)-- Armin Van Buuren -78

I Don't Remember --Walker & Royce, VNSSA -84

Dance Is The Answer --Dubdogs, RUBACK, Ticon, Raja Ram -74

High And I Like It --It's Murph, Eyalyn -103

Jaguar --Yaeger -65

Dizzy --Sick Individuals, LOUI LANE -66

Lullaby --Britti -67

Lie To Me -Jubel KIDDO -70

Sorry Ain't Enough --Michael Gerow -69

Missing You --Frank Walker, Nate Smith -83

I Got Time --Brittney Spencer -72

***Slide Out --Life On Planets -(new)

What Do You Do For A Living? I Do My Best --Iamnotshane -105

Lead Me On --FLETCHER -117

Everybody Knows I'm High --SHAED -107

No Man's Land --Marshmello, Venbee -76

Afterglow --Klangkarussell, GIVVEN -110

Alive --K-391 -111

***Follow You --Return Of the Jaded, MELLY OHH -(new)

One By One --Robin Schulz, Topic, Oaks -79

Waking Up --Felix Jaehn, Leony -77

Lonely Nights ---Papa Beats -112

Mas Que Nada --Oliver Heldens, Ian Asher, Sergio Mendez -73

Deep In Your Love --ALOK, Bebe Rexha -80

J Christ --Lil Nas X -81

Face To Face --Knnzie -82

Murder On The Dancefloor --Sophie Ellis-Bextor -85

Biggest Regret--Gorgon City, Bbyafricka -86

Dreaming ---Marshmello, Pink, Sting -86

Mirrors --Caravan Palace -90

Rebel --TVXQ -94

***Taking It Back--DJ MINX -(new)

No Strings ---X Ambassadors -100

Free Falling ---James Arthur -116

***Purple Irises --Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton -(new)

***Come Right Back ---Morgan Page -(new)

Run ---ATB, Nu Aspect, Orem -91

Stop The Time --Zombic -93

Yard Sale --Alex Warren -95

Pull You Closer --Sistek, Sadie Rose Van -96

Drums ---James Hype, Kim Petras -97

Years --Just Us -98

Who I Am --Alan Walker, Putri Ariani, Peder Elias -99

Burnin' -Rinzen, Shallou -108

When I Wake Up --Lucas & Steve, Skinny Days -109

Maktub ---Gary Clark Jr. -118

The Thief --Future Islands -120

Beats For The Underground ---Mau P -121

Pick Me --Alec Benjamin -122

***Checking In -- for KIng & Country, Lee Brice -(new)

Superhero --AUDIEN -114

ME-- Steve Angello -102

***Loneliness ---Pet Shop Boys (Radio edit) - (new)

One Night/All Night --Justice, Tame Impala -115

Heart Pure --Grigore -130

***Give Me ---Will Clarke, BURNS -(new)

***Low Again ---Bakermat -(new)

Daydream --Will Swinton -127

***Lonely Dancers --Conan Gray - (new)

Untouchable --ITZY -101

Give It To Me --Lucky Luke -104

Alibi --Ella Henderson, Rudimental -106

Can't Get Enough --Jennifer Lopez -113 >>>

Lighthouse --Calum Scott -119 >>>

When We Die (Can We Still Get High) --Yungblood, Lil Yachy -123 >>>

Us --Steve Aoki f/ ERNEST -124 >>>

Hungover --John Summit, Mathame, Camden Cox -125 >>>

Overdrive ---Ofenbach, Norma Jean Marine -126 >>>

Disco En Egypte --Bon Entendeur -128 >>>

Falling Behind --Sultan + Shepard -129 >>>

***Take A Moment --ATB, David Frank - (new)

***All Of You --Mees Salome, ALLKNIGHT - (new) >>>

***Somethings Gonna Workout ---Jai Piccone, 1tbsp - (new)

***Pictures Of You --Anyma -(new)

***Never Be Lonely ---Jax Jones, Zoe Wees -(new)

***I'm One Of the Rest --TALK -(new)

<>You Can Have It ---Kungs, Victor Flash -[last on @#117 2.4.24] >>>

<> re-entry on chart / *** new on chart / >>>off chart next week

18 NEW on the Chart this week... #027 Weight Of The World #029 Mr. Useless #085 Slide Out #092 Follow You #105 Takin It Back #108 Purple Irises #109 Come Right Back #123 Checking In #126 Loneliness #129 Give Me #120 Low Again #132 Lonely Dancers [ #144 Take A Moment [2.2.24] #145 All Of You #146 Somethings Gonna Workout #147 Pictures Of You #148 Never Be Lonely #149 I'm One Of The Rest

[cucumberfruit]

straight relationships i like;

• Pepperony, Pepper Potts and Tony Stark from Marvels MCU

• Timsasha, Tim Stoker and Sasha James from the Magnus Archives

• Molly and Arthur Weasley from Harry Potter

• Ronmione, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter

• Hinny, Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley from Harry Potter

• Laurel Lance and Tommy Merlyn from Arrow

• Nate Haywood and Zari Tomaz from Legends of Tomorrow

• Nora Darhk and Ray Palmer from Legends of Tomorrow

[kittyt-hexxed]

You’re the One I Want

Ellie Williams x Miller!Reader

Warnings: Homophobia, “dyke” used as a slur, punching an older man, secret relationships, falling from a horse, blood, leg injury, asking for consent, sensual sex, fingering, light praise and teasing, switch!Ellie, switch!reader

Summary: You’ve been friends with Ellie from the beginning. Your life in Jackson is relaxing, dating girls in secret and hiding your fluctuating crush on the auburn-haired girl. That is until you see Dina and Ellie kiss and feelings come to the surface.

You laugh as Jesse tells you about the time he nearly knocked Ellie into the river outside of Jackson. After Dina had broken up with him this morning, you planned to come to the bar and hang out. He would never admit it to you, but he loved Dina. She was the first girl he dated that didn’t try to stop him from doing his job for the community. Being one of the Heads of Security was a big job and had late hours if Tommy was held up by something. Dina never complained about him coming back later or tried to convince him to swap jobs. You could tell he was taking this breakup harder than he was showing.

“Speaking of Ellie… How are the two of you?” Jesse kicks your foot under the table.

“Ellie and I? There’s nothing to say. She kicked me out of my bed this morning. Literally.” You huff, crossing your arms, “I don’t even know how she got into my room, but my dad laughed himself silly when he saw her boot print on my arm.”

“Are you sure that’s all?” Jesse pouts, “No illicit love affair I should know about?”

“What? No!” You laugh, shaking your head, “There’s nothing going on between Ellie and me. You know that you big dumb oaf.” You kick him back.

“You wish there was.” Jesse points out, making you roll your eyes.

“Don’t make me strangle you with that jacket of yours.” You playfully threaten him.

“Okay, okay.” Jesse laughs, “Let me go grab some beer and you can continue to threaten me.” He gets up and your gaze wanders around the room. You spot your dad hanging out at the bar with one of his friends, a grumpy old Seth sitting at the other end who you’d make sure to avoid while you’re here. Your eyes glide over the people on the dancefloor before turning back to the booth Jesse had been sitting in. ‘Wait.’ Your head snaps around to find Dina and Ellie on the dancefloor together. Your jaw drops when you see how close they are to each other. ‘ When did Ellie and Dina get here? It must’ve been while Jesse and I were talking. But…’ You take in how they’re holding each other, swaying to the music, and talking. You couldn’t make out what they were saying from here, but it seems pretty intimate. ‘I brought Jesse here to get over his ex-girlfriend, not get him to miss her more.’ You grumble to yourself.

“Hey, Y/n.” You turn to see Sasha, your ex-girlfriend and Seth’s daughter, approaching you.

“Hey, Sasha. What’s up?” You smile at her.

“We nabbed Jesse for a round of patrol. We noticed Dina heading this way, so we wanted to get him out of here. I’m letting you know so you don’t panic.” Sasha grins.

“You’re a lifesaver.” You sigh in relief, “Keep him busy for me.”

“Will do. Join us after you nab your girl?” She motions to Ellie.

“Not my girl.” You snort.

“Right, and I’m straight.” Sasha laughs, tossing you a wink, “See you around, Miller. Jump through my window if you need a night, yeah?” She walks away without an answer. You laugh to yourself before your attention is grabbed once again. You stop breathing when you see Dina lean in and kiss Ellie, making your heart drop. You’ve been crushing on and off on Ellie for years, but you didn’t want to say anything about it. You had joined your parents when they smuggled her from Boston, and the two of you bonded a lot. After everything that happened, you didn’t want to ruin the friendship between you two. But, that didn’t keep the feelings away, especially after Ellie got older and hotter. So, watching Dina plant one on her made your stomach twist.

“Hey!” You groan when you see Seth get up, heading over to the two girls. You’re on your feet and following before you can even stop yourself. You knew that Seth hated anyone who showed interest in the same sex after he drunkenly ranted about it to you a few months ago. You and Sasha were on the same patrol team so you were at her place a lot. Ironically, he wasn’t aware that his own daughter was messing in the sheets with you at the time. The two of you had snickered about it, knowing that he’d probably have a heart attack if he caught you doing anything with Sasha. But, here? Now? You knew he was going to say something that’d get a fist to his mouth.

“This is a family event.” You hear him say, watching as Ellie and Dina step away from each other. You curse yourself for the small amount of relief you feel seeing them separate.

“Sorry.” Dina says, but Seth continues to stare them down, “Sorry!” She repeats before leading Ellie away from him.

“Remember next time there’s kids around.” Seth calls after them, making you furrow your brow. There were no kids in the bar. Tonight wasn’t even family night, and that wasn’t for another few days. He was just talking out of his ass at this point.

“Yeah, like you’re setting such a great example.” Dina scoffs and you could strangle her. You can tell that Ellie looks uncomfortable in this situation, and Dina poking the old mutt wasn’t helping.

“Oh, just what this town needs. Another loud-mouthed dyke.” Seth scoffs loudly, making you and the two girls pause. ‘He did not just call Ellie a loud-mouthed dyke.’ You clench your fist. There’s no mistaking who he was saying it to. You kept your dating life very private because your dad was very protective. Jesse was the only one who knew that you were into women. You didn’t tell Ellie, because you didn’t want her to realize that you’ve been crushing on her.

“What the fuck did you just say, you mangy old mutt?!” You snarl, Seth whirling around to see you marching towards him. You see Ellie’s angry glare over his shoulder and Dina’s panicked one as she tries to calm her down.

“You heard me.” Seth scoffs, “She’s a loud-mouthed dy-” Your fist hit his jaw before he could finish his sentence. Shouts immediately broke out as Seth hit the ground, and someone slid their arms under yours to keep you from stomping forward. From the smell of cigarettes and pine wood, you knew that it was your uncle.

“This dyke just socked you in your goddamn mouth!” You shout as your uncle Tommy drags you back, struggling in his grasp, “You’re nothing but a miserable old man! Get the fuck out of other people’s business!” Your dad appears out of nowhere, shoving Seth back when he tries to advance toward you.

“Hey!” Your dad shouts, “Get the hell out of here!”

“Get your hands off me.” Seth hisses, getting close to your dad. Your aunt Maria comes and steps between them before dragging Seth out of the room. From the look she gave you, you knew you’d be getting a lecture when she came back.

“Uncle Tommy, you can let me go.” You sigh as you watch your dad try to talk to Ellie. He lets you go, but he leads you by the shoulders out of the bar. Being a Miller came with a few things. An addiction to coffee, deadly shooting skills, and a hot temper. You were quick to swing rather than talk things out, and your mother used to joke that you got everything from your dad except your beauty. It was on days like this you missed her calmer disposition. You were inside your house not long after, taking a seat at the dinner table while your uncle made some coffee.

“You’re not going to lecture me?” You ask after a long silence.

“He deserved it.” Your uncle shrugs, placing a mug in front of you. You hear the door open and your dad comes into the house looking a bit down. ‘His talk with Ellie probably didn’t go too great. She’s still upset about what happened in Salt Lake City.’ You take a sip of your coffee as your dad sits next to your uncle.

“...That was a solid hit.” Your dad says, making you grin.

“Mama taught me that one.” You chuckle, “She told me punching was her favorite thing to do to assholes.” That made your dad and uncle chuckle as well.

“You uh… never told me you were into girls.” Your dad awkwardly clears his throat.

“It’s alright if you are.” Your uncle hurriedly cuts in, “We just thought you’d tell us once you were interested in someone.”

“Right. What he said.” Your dad nods along.

“It didn’t cross my mind.” You shrug, “I knew you’d have no issue with it, so I didn’t see any harm.”

“Well, you’re right about that. We have no issue with it.” Your dad shares a glance with his brother, “But uh… have you had any girlfriends?” You smile to yourself. ‘Predictable. The first thing they want to know, huh?’

“A few. There was that girl who was passing through and stayed for a month. Leslie. Heather… Sasha.” You drink from your cup and the two men choke on their coffee.

“Seth’s daughter?” Your uncle coughs out.

“Yup. Don’t tell him though, he’ll shoot me.” You laugh. The door opens again and you sink into your seat when you see your aunt come inside. She says nothing as she takes your uncle’s coffee and downs the rest of it. Your aunt Maria then fixes you with a stare that has you giving her a sheepish smile. ‘She’s gonna give me stable cleaning duty tomorrow, isn’t she?’

“Next time. You knock that bastard out so I don’t have to deal with him.” She huffs, making the rest of you burst into laughter.

You hear pounding on your bedroom door making you groan and throw the covers over your head. Sasha had snuck into your room last night after she found out what you did to her dad. Instead of being pissed, she made out with you as a thank you before declaring that she was going to come out to him. It pissed her off that he said that about her friend and lowkey about her, too. So, you were up a few hours later than you planned.

“Y/n, come on, kiddo!” Your dad shouts, “Your aunt stuck you on patrol today!”

“Fuck!” You shout, throwing the blankets off of you, “Why are you telling me now?!”

“Because she just told me! Now get your lazy ass up! You’re supposed to be heading out in ten minutes!” Your dad says before you hear his footsteps retreat. You yawn as you pull your pants on, briefly glancing at the hickeys Sasha had left last night. Within a couple of minutes, you’re fully dressed, not bothering to put a bra on in the spring weather. You head downstairs, grabbing the travel mug of hot chocolate your dad had left behind for you. Unless it was winter or a stressful time, the coffee stayed put away. The trees wouldn’t be bearing fruit until next year, so you rationed it out until then.

“Hey there, sunshine!” You hear Jesse shout as you walk out of the house. You turn to see him walking over with Ellie trailing behind him, who winces when she makes eye contact with you. ‘Ah, I didn’t have the chance to talk to her about what happened last night.’

“Mornin’ Jess.” You greet him. Jesse throws an arm over your shoulder, forcing you to walk with him. You note that the sky is cloudy so it’s likely to storm later. ‘Hopefully, we’re back from patrol before that starts.’

“I heard you had some fun last night.” Jesse grins, “Sasha told me Seth has a huge bruise on his face. Nice swing.”

“He said dumb shit last night so I shut him up.” You scoff, crossing your arms, “If the price I pay is extra patrol then so be it.”

“Thata girl.” Jesse squeezes you, “That's the Miller fire I’ve heard legends about.” He teases you.

“Ha, ha, funny.” You say dryly, greeting your horse with an affectionate pat, “Are you the one I’m patrolling with?” You settle onto the saddle.

“Me? Nah, you’re patrolling with Ellie. She got an extra shift for cursing Seth out, so you’re riding together. Stay safe, okay?” Jesse pats your leg. Your eyes flick over to Ellie who’s suspiciously silent.

“Will do.” You tell Jesse and he calls for them to open the gates. The patrol trail you usually take is a simple one. It runs along the river, cuts through the valley, and then drops you off by one of the lookout towers. Most people who find Jackson do so by following the river, which is why it’s the most patrolled area. It helped that the town is surrounded by mountains, keeping it well protected and hidden. Even infected rarely come this way, and any that do are taken out quickly.

“Okay, Williams. You’ve been oddly quiet over there.” You sigh, glancing at her, “What’s going on?”

“I um…” Ellie clears her throat, “I’m sorry about last night. With Seth. I didn’t expect to end up in the position that I was in.”

“Why are you apologizing?” You giggle, “I got such satisfaction from decking that old man. If you thought what he said last night was bad, you’d be furious with what he said drunk last month.”

“It doesn’t surprise me that Seth’s crazy like that. But um… you’re… into women?” Ellie glances at you but returns her gaze forward. ‘Shit.’ You curse.

“Yeah, I am. I um… I have been for a while.”

“A while?” Ellie jerks to a stop, making you stop too.

“Ah, yeah.” You chuckle nervously, “I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t see a big deal in it, you know? Seth’s bullshit changed that though. You and Dina kissing isn’t anyone’s business.” You shrug, coaxing your horse to start walking again. ‘That’s right. No one’s business. Not mine, not Jesse’s, no one but them.’ You frown.

“About that… The kiss. There isn’t anything going on between Dina and me. She kissed me. I wasn’t expecting it at all.” Ellie explains, “So, yeah.”

“Ellie.” You give her a look, “If you’re into Dina, that’s okay. You don’t need to make excuses. Jesse won’t be upset with you and neither will I.”

“That’s the thing! I’m not.” Ellie huffs.

“You’re not what?” You tilt your head. Ellie’s horse puts on a sudden burst of speed and cuts in front of you. You yelp, your horse rearing back and coming to a sudden stop.

“I’m not into Dina!” Ellie shouts agitatedly before sighing and slouching in the saddle, “…I’ve been into you for years, Y/n. My first crush on you started when you saved me from that clicker on our way to Salt Lake City.” Your breathing hitches as you stare wide-eyed at the girl in front of you.

“It's been on and off, and I’ve dated other girls but… you always end up back in my mind. After Dina kissed me, I told her that it wouldn’t work out because I’m in love with you. No one has lasted because all I want is you.” Ellie says softly, staring you in the eyes. You’re speechless. You’ve been hiding your feelings for Ellie all of these years when she’s been doing the same?

“Els, I-” A snapping sound has you jerking your head to the side. Then you start hearing the snarling of infected and your eyes widen in terror when you see a group of them come stumbling out of the woods.

“Runners!” You shout, your horse taking off at your urging.

“Fuck!” Ellie shouts, taking out her gun as they chase you. You take yours out too, keeping a tight grip on the reins. You shoot at them as you try to keep your distance. You hiss in pain as one manages to scratch your leg as you kick it away.

“Go through the valley!” You shout over the gunfire, “We can pin them!” A horde in your area wasn’t common. You made sure to take out every infected that appeared so this must be a wandering one you, unfortunately, caught the attention of.

“Way ahead of you!” Ellie responds, guiding her horse into the mouth of the valley. You follow her, continuing to shoot at the ones behind you and making them fall over each other.

“Do you have a Molotov?! This would be the best place to burn them!”

“I can make one, but you’ll have to buy me some time!”

“Do it!” You turn your attention back to the horde. ‘Why does it have to be springtime?! These fuckers are so much slower in the winter!’ You growl. A shadow falls over you, and you snap your head up to see an infected falling from the cliff top. A scream is ripped from your throat as you’re thrown from the saddle and into the rock wall. Your body tumbles down and you can feel the sharp rocks cutting into your skin.

“Y/N!” You hear Ellie scream as your horse freaks out. You wrestle with the infected shooting it in the face before scrambling up. Ellie races past you and you watch as the Molotov bursts and set the infected ablaze.

“Come on!” Ellie yanks you up into the saddle with her. A sharp pain burns in your leg making you choke back a shout. You grip onto Ellie tightly, burying your face into her neck as you try to ignore the pain. Every movement from the horse makes it flare up, and before you know it you’re breathing heavily. The two of you stay quiet until you’re at the outpost. Ellie is quick to hop down from the saddle and help you, her brows creased in worry when you cry out in pain.

“Are you okay?” Ellie asks frantically, “You didn’t get bit, did you?” Her eyes scan your body looking for any obvious signs.

“No, no, I didn’t get bit.” You shake your head as she supports you, “I hurt my leg pretty badly when I was knocked down.” You limp your way upstairs, feeling blood soak into your pants.

“Let’s take a look and get you patched up, then.” Ellie sets you down carefully on one of the chairs, “I’m gonna need you to-” You take off your shoes, Ellie doing the same next to you.

“-Yeah, don’t worry. I’ve got it.” You wince as you unbutton your jeans and try to slide them down, but the pain spikes in your leg. You growl in frustration and Ellie chuckles as she places the first aid kit down on the table.

“Let me help you.” Ellie smiles at you. She slowly lifts your legs, bracing them against her hips as she delicately tugs your pants down your thighs. You blush as you feel her warm fingers brush against your thighs. Ellie’s too focused on making sure she doesn’t hurt you to notice you becoming increasingly flustered. When she gets your pants off, you lean your head back so she doesn’t see your blush. The sound of thunder in the distance reminds you that it’s going to rain.

“It’s bad.” Ellie says, pressing her fingers into the muscles.

“Ow! Ellie!” You jerk in her grasp, only making the pain flare up more.

“Shit, sorry. I was checking to see if it’s sprained.” Ellie holds you still, “It is. So, we’ll have to go slow on our way back to Jackson.” She wipes down the cut, meeting your eyes when you lift your head. You find yourself staring into her eyes, getting distracted by how green they look in the light. ‘How is she so beautiful? Those freckles, her silly smile, her eyes.’

“Before we got interrupted… you said that you love me…” You fidget with your fingers.

“I did.” Ellie glances up at you, wrapping the bandages with practiced ease, “I meant it, and I know if you don’t feel the same way, I probably ruined our friendship.” She sighs.

“Ellie.” You laugh, “I love you, too.”

“What?” Ellie snaps her head up.

“I didn’t bring up being into women to you because I’ve been crushing on you. If you knew that I was into girls, you’d notice. You don’t miss that kind of stuff.” You rub the back of your neck, “It’s been on and off since you saved me from that scavenger.”

“It’s been that long?” Ellie’s eyes widen, “Five years?”

“How’s that so shocking? You’re the same!” You playfully huff, crossing your arms. You can hear the rain pouring outside, so you wouldn’t be going back to Jackson anytime soon.

“Sorry.” Ellie blushes, helping you stand up, “I just- this is so surprising to me. I mean… I love you, and you…”

“Love you, too?” You nudge her, letting her guide you to your bed in the back. There was an area in the outpost that was set up as a room for any situations that called for it. You and Ellie had taken it a step further and secretly made a small area for the two of you. Well, your dad and uncle knew about it because they helped you with it, but no one else knew. It was your favorite spot to retreat to during the winter months when you were waiting out a blizzard. So, it only made sense to head there now.

“Exactly.” Ellie chuckles, lowering you onto the mattress. You swallow hard as she shimmies out of her jeans, tossing them onto the end of the bed, and sits down next to you. It’s then you realize that Ellie must have seen the hickeys but she didn’t say anything about it. As if she knows what you’re thinking, she taps on the mark, “Who’s this from?”

“Why? Jealous, Williams?” You smirk, making her roll her eyes.

“A little.” Ellie admits, a smirk on her face, “Maybe I just want to know my competition.”

“She’s not competition, but it was a thank you from Sasha.”

“No way! Seth’s daughter?!” Ellie gasps.

“Yeah.” You nod, laughing, “But, as I said… she’s not competition… if you can show me how much you love me.” You smile teasingly.

“And how would I do that?” Ellie raises an eyebrow.

“Kiss me.” You request.

“That I can do.” Ellie smirks, leaning in but moving back when you move forward to meet her lips. You huff in aggravation before Ellie’s hand cradles the back of your head and pulls you into a kiss. Her lips are chapped and rough against yours, but you don’t mind. The kiss is soft and slow, even the way she nips at your bottom lip doesn’t give any desperation. Your lips part, letting her tongue intertwine with yours in a deep kiss. Even with her tongue in your mouth, Ellie doesn’t change her pace and takes her time with you. You didn’t mind at all, more than happy that you’re finally kissing her. In fact, her hand caressing your neck sends shivers down your spine and makes your cunt tingle.

Momentarily forgetting about your leg, you shift your position wanting to get closer to her. Your leg reminded you that it was injured. You whimper in pain, pulling away from the kiss to hold your thigh, “Fuck, sorry.” You sigh, disappointed that the kiss has ended, “My leg.”

“It’s okay.” Ellie moves and gently lifts you onto her lap so your thighs rest across hers.

“What are you doing?” You furrow your brow as she moves you around until she’s satisfied.

“I can ease the pain for you, but uh… it wouldn’t be with any pain pills.” Ellie clears her throat, a slight blush on her face, “Orgasms relax muscles and stuff… so I could, ya know- b-but only with your permission!”

“Oh.” You feel your cheeks heat up. Ellie’s offering to touch you. This wasn’t something you believed would happen, but your body was excited about the prospect. The tingling between your thighs made you want to squeeze them together, but you wisely chose not to.

“I… I wouldn’t mind.” You look away as your cheeks burn hotter, “You can touch me.”

“I-It’s just for the pain.” Ellie stutters, but you both knew otherwise, “Could… Could you look at me?” She asks and you meet her eyes. You hold your breath as you feel her part your thighs, fingers gliding up the inside of them before she tugs your panties to the side. There’s a moment of pause and you give her a reassuring nod. You wanted this, even if it was under the disguise of relieving your pain. You gasp as her fingers slip into you, gradually going deeper until she’s up to her knuckles. Your gaze flicks down to her lips and back up to her eyes where you can see the desire in them. And yet, even with her fingers buried in you, Ellie doesn’t move them.

“Can I kiss you?” Ellie whispers and you nod. The two of you lean in and as your lips touch, she starts moving her fingers. You wrap your arms around her, once again being surprised by the delicate way she’s treating you. There’s no rush, no roughness, not even a little force that you’ve caught other girls whispering about. Her fingers move at a leisurely pace as if she’s enjoying the moment. You let her dip her tongue in your mouth, soft moans leaving your throat as she caresses your g-spot. You’re forced to break the kiss, a whine leaving your lips when she presses her fingers a bit harder against you. You rest your head against her shoulder as she chuckles, her other arm pulling you closer to her.

“What’s so funny?” You breathe out, trying to speak without a moan interrupting you.

“You are.” Ellie hums, looking at you lovingly, “You’re sitting in my lap with my fingers inside of you. I didn’t think this is how today would go at all.”

“Shut up, Williams.” You groan, burying your face into her neck.

“I like how you feel around my fingers, Miller.” Ellie purrs, “Your wet walls tighten around me with every movement I make.”

“Ellie!” You whine, “D-Don’t say that!”

“But it’s so cute, Y/n. Your little moans, how your breathing hitches when I do this-” Pleasure shoots up your spine, making your breathing hitch, “-how you’re trying so hard not to grind against my fingers.” You could feel your orgasm on the edge and you couldn’t wait for it. You wanted to cum for her, especially after how sweetly she’s been treating you.

“Can I cum for you?” You gasp, “Please? I’m right there, Ellie.”

“Only if you want to.” Ellie kisses your forehead, her fingers still working at the same steady pace. You were going to say something when your orgasm tumbles over the edge. You tilt your head back, a low groan leaving your throat as you squirt all over her fingers.

“There you go, baby.” Ellie coos, fucking you through it. You breathe heavily, closing your eyes as your mind drifts and your body relaxes. You can feel your cum running down your thighs, but that’s a distant thought with your sleepiness coming through. Your body is moved so you’re laying down, nestled in Ellie’s arms while your injured thigh is still resting on hers.

“I haven’t been touched like that in a while.” You whisper, eyes cracking open to look at her face, “It was nice.” She drapes a thin blanket over the two of you, making it feel cozier.

“I’m glad you liked it.” Ellie whispers back, kissing your nose, “Rest.” The two of you are lulled to sleep by the sound of the rain.

When you wake up, you smile and kiss Ellie’s neck and snuggle closer to her. The pain in your thigh was still there, but it didn’t feel as bad as it did before. As you lay there waiting for her to wake up, your mind started to wander. You thought about all of the moments that led to you falling in love with her. Times when she didn’t even realize that she made your heart race faster or took your breath away. There were too many to keep track of.

“Y/n?” Ellie sleepily turns to you, a smile on her face, “Hey there.”

“Hey there.” You giggle.

“How’s your thigh?” Ellie shifts, placing a hand on your injured thigh.

“It hurts a bit, but it’s nothing I can’t manage right now. It’s still storming outside so we can’t leave, yet.” You sigh then bite your lip. You wanted to return the favor to Ellie. She made you feel good and you wanted her to feel that way, too.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie asks in concern.

“Nothing’s wrong, Els. I just… can I return the favor? Can I touch you as well?” You question, fidgeting with her flannel.

“Touch… Oh. I-I mean, yeah, that’s- that’s fine with me.” Ellie stutters, turning pink.

“Is it okay to now?” You brighten up, excited that she’s comfortable with you touching her.

“Yeah, go ahead.” Ellie nods. Your hand drifts down, twisting her underwear to the side and you stick two fingers into her. You hear Ellie let out a small gasp, but you’re too distracted by how tight she is. You wiggle your fingers, spreading them apart to stretch her out and getting a whine from her.

“Does that hurt?” You ask in concern.

“A little.” Ellie breathes out, “I think I’m tighter than most girls. But, it’s okay, you can continue.” You place a kiss on her chest and go back to stretching her out. You take your time, making sure she’s comfortable before you start fingering her. You went slow, almost marveling at how wet she was, at how good she felt around your fingers. This wasn’t anything new to you, but it was Ellie. There was something different about pleasuring the woman you’ve fallen in love with. Her moans made you itch to fuck her faster, but you wanted her to enjoy it. So, when the urge to suck on her clit lodged itself into your mind, you asked Ellie if you could kiss her. With an eager nod, pressed your lips to hers and she gave you full control. You could’ve moaned from the way Ellie let you put your tongue in her mouth. Your fingers twitched, but you clamped down on your self-control and kept a steady pace.

“Please go faster.” Ellie begs you, “Please. Plea- Fuck!” She gasps as you press down harder, an amused smile on your face. If she had begged you earlier, you would’ve done it in a heartbeat, but not now. You knew she was getting closer to her orgasm, and you liked the way she ground against your fingers.

“No can do, babygirl.” You tease her, feeling her tighten around you, “You’re about to cum. I wouldn’t want to ruin that, now would I?”

“You’re so unfair!” Ellie groans, “It wouldn’t ruin anything.”

“You’re right.” You hum, pecking her lips, “I just want to hear your cute moans a little longer.”

“Please let me cum for you.” Ellie whines, “Please!” You bite your lip but she gives you pleading eyes and you oblige. Ellie moans loudly as her pussy clamps down on your fingers. You let out a low curse, surprised at how tightly she was squeezing your fingers. You couldn’t move them even if you wanted to, so you had to wait out her orgasm before you could take them out.

You pull Ellie into your arms when you see the glassy look in her eyes. She cuddles up to you, keeping your injury in mind as she does. You lay there in silence, stroking her hair as she tries to calm her breathing, “I love you.” You whisper, kissing her on the top of her head.

“I love you, too.” Ellie whispers against your skin, making your heart flutter.

[ablxssm]

DANCING WITH YOUR GHOST

Tommy Shelby x Fem! Reader

SUMMARY ;— He will always love her ghost. Every memory he had, imprinted and branded on his body. Only her.

WARNINGS ;— angst, heaVYYY ANGST, mentions of smut, cursing and substance abuse

NOTES ;— Listen to 'Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan'

RATING ;— M [mature]

A morning anew, the coo of birds, the cold air wafting. Normalcy. He turns on his side and looks at the empty bed. It is cold on her side, no warmth or comfort. He moves to his back and closes his eyes with a wince. She is no longer his.

His life revolves around her. The young girl who made him laugh, made him smile, made him feel. The past is all he has left of her. He could remember the first time they kissed. She was trembling in the rain that mixed with her tears. Her lips were still warm and her arms held him close as the rain washed away the blood on his hands. Her lips were soft even, tasting him and savoring him. She tasted like cherry wine and lacquer. Sweet.

He could remember the first time he held her with pleasure. It was in his caravan in the pasture where she sat on the bed with only a white night dress. She pulled him in for another kiss and moved his hands to cup her gently. She sounded like an angel, soft coos of moans. Her gasps edged him further to please her and make her forget all of her problems. He touched every part of her, watching her face contort into blissful sighs. Her climax shattered her leaving them both breathless.

He could remember the first time he called her his wife. She stood in white, an angel. It was just them in a small chapel in the countryside. Only God and the stars had to be the witness of their love. Her tears were happy, they both felt the excitement in their guts as they ran to his caravan to love each other senseless. Their laughter filled the pasture as they did as they pleased.

He could remember the first time he broke her heart. A forgotten anniversary, a forgotten birthday, a forgotten love. She was up late that night in a beautiful dress he bought her. She wore the ruby choker he had specially made for her. She sat at the dinner table with falling tears. He came home reeking of another woman's perfume and she knew. She would always smell it when he thought it was gone. She was alone at the table and she looked up at him, tears still falling, but she smiled to hide her heart break.

"Welcome home, love." She said softly. She kissed his cheek and then went upstairs to sleep in another room.

The look on her face made his stomach churn and his own heart break. He did that to her and he was too stupid to stop.

'For the better of the company,' He would say.

Lies... always lies.

He could remember the day she left him. He came back, still wafting of perfume, and went to greet her. But there was only silence in the house. He screamed for her, searched for her. Her dresses gone, all of her jewelry taken. Except for the necklace and her rings. Her engagement ring, and her wedding band. A letter sat on their dresser and he was shaking as he read it. His screams filled the whole home in anger.

He had forgotten the girl that always loved him. He had forgotten that she too was human and that he was hurting her. He always thought she would understand that it was for the best that he engaged with select women for the company. He was blind, stupid, irresponsible. He picked up the ring and felt his own tears come. He lost her.

The days were never the same since she was gone. The house was always cold and empty, no laughter to ring, no warmth for comfort. He sat up in the bed and placed his hand on her spot.

She was always his. If he drank enough, or smoked enough, he would see her come to him. She was always smiling. If he was sad enough, he would hold her and dance. She always liked dancing, even if she wasn't the best.

He would yell at the sky in their pasture, asking why she went away. She was still his girl, but on heaven knows where she was now. He stays up all night, telling himself he is alright. She was just harder to see than the most. He would put their record on and listen to their song, he would dance with her. He would dance with her ghost.

He never got a chance to say goodbye and it hurts to try and move on. Everything was her. The couch where she held him after he was hurt. The library where she would read. The desk where she would help him work. The kitchen where she would cook. The stables where they would have dinner together. The walk way where he would see her waiting for him. The car where they drove on many adventures. The caravan where they lived free. The bedroom where he would show her how much he loved her.

He would dance with her ghost until she came back to him.

“Tommy, you have to leave this house.” Arthur said softly.

His brother was spiraling, falling and drowning.

“Everywhere I go, I see her.”

Arthur looked at John who sat next to his brother.

“Everywhere you go, you will see her… but you will find her.”

“She doesn’t want to be found. There is no where else to look. She is just… gone. I’ve hurt her too much with the guns, the women, the money-,” he ran a tired hand over his face, “I’ve hurt her with everything.”

Everyone knew what he did to her. He started to disregard her, ignore their important dates, go off with other women. Polly’s anger for hurting the only thing good in their life, was a constant reminder on their heads. She guided them with great intelligence, she did the best for the Blinders and all those she loved.

She was good to them.

Tommy then got up and put his coat on.

“Let’s just get this meeting done with,” he sighed and left with his family.

Polly didn’t say anything as she watched him leave from one room just to go to the library. She looked down at her hands in annoyance. She failed her, she failed them.

The meeting came and went as Tommy practically ignored it all and let his brothers take over. He didn’t even notice that they all left as he kept his eye on the scenery outside his window. By nightfall, he was still there thinking. Polly stayed and sat by the fire as she lit a cigarette.

“She’s alive.” She whispered.

He didn’t say anything.

“That girl is stronger than any woman I know.”

She let out a puff and stood to leave.

“She will come back, we know it.”

He closed his eyes and sunk into the chair more. He knew she was next to him even though she was harder to see than most. No one effected him like this, but she did and she always would. He clenched his jaw, hoping they were under the same sky. He took a deep breath and felt one tear come from his eye as he pictured her walking home.

The moon was bright enough to make the sapphire gleam as she sat in front of an unlit fire with the cruel and cold wind wrapping around her. The moon bore into her eyes as she winced and placed a hand on her stomach.

One day.

Just not now.

“Where is the father?” Her neighbor asked as they sat at her table drinking tea and preparing vegetables to cook.

“Away…” she could say anything more, it would be to painful to think of where he was and what he was doing…. Who he was doing.

Her neighbor’s eyes flickered to hers and sighed as she reached across to table to hold her hand, “If it was meant to be, you would go back. But if this is what you think is right, then it is.”

Tommy… the love of her life and everything she loved for. The house she was in held only so much warmth for her and her soon to be born child. It was nothing like Arrow House, or even his arms for that matter.

“That’s the thing. We were meant to be, the stars themselves shined brighter the night we got married. But things changed, the whole dynamic changed.”