#tommy didn't “bring it up out of nowhere”

[chococara25]

Thanksgiving

AU where Buck woke up, thinking about Tommy and decided to cook for Thanksgiving, baking crusty pecan pies & pumpkin pies, delicious green bean casseroles and sweet potato gratins, cheesy cauliflower cheese with turkey bacon bits, creamy mashed potatoes and the classic stuffings.

After done with baking and cooking, he realized he had no one to give it to (Everyone would just give him weird looks if he brings everything to potluck Thanksgiving dinner, plus they had forbid him from cooking) and wondering if he should donate to the homeless shelters cos at least someone can sleep warm with a full stomach when Lucy Donato texted him out of nowhere complaining how everyone is swamped in calls all day long and how hungry they are including Tommy, who came in to cover someone's shift and EPIPHANY!! He can just give them to the 217 AND check on Tommy at the same time.

He starts to pack everything before separating some food into different containers and stick a sticky note on each of them. He then unload the bread loaves and cookies he had been making for the past week into a basket cos waste not, want not right?

Tommy coming back from a weird call involving some idiots trying to make turkey barbacoa in their backyard when he saw everyone gathering around the dining table, stuffing their face, moaning about the delicious food and praising the cook.

He was confused till he turned around to see Evan of all people staring at him, unruly curls and dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey. Lucy said you guys haven't eaten all day." Evan looked awkwardly at him.

(At the corner of his eyes, he can see Lucy slunking off guiltily, carrying a whole pie and weird a plate of cupcakes with her)

Evan looked as if he wanted to say something but looked away, his lips twisted unhappily. He pushed a bag full of containers and a basket full of bread and cookies at them before running away.

Tommy hid in one of the closets, checking the bag and basket, its contents each marked by a sticky note.

The Banana Loaf - "Everytime I think of calling you, I baked instead. Now my fridge is full but I'm still thinking about you."

The Snickerdoodle cookies - "Jee asked where cool uncle Tommy was. She misses her tea party partner."

Vanilla and raspberry mascarpone loaf cake - "I can't stop thinking how you would enjoy all the cakes and pastries I made for the past few months."

green bean casserole - "I still have your clothes and I kept wearing them to sleep cos its the closest thing I have to you because I have a hard time falling asleep without you holding me in your arms"

Carrot cake loaf - "I saw a helicopter today at work and I wonder if it was you flying it. We never did have that flying lesson."

cauliflower cheese - I'm sorry I never told you I love you when I really do. I love you and I missed every single minute the moment you walk out of my life.

pecan pie - I'm sorry I said the wrong things when I asked you to move in with me. I'm sorry I too much in the end for you and drove you away."

pumpkin pie - I'm sorry you felt pressured but I didn't lie, I really admire you and your confidence made me feel safe, being with you was like waking up for the first time from the lightning coma, I could breath again and you were the one who set me free.

sweet potato gratin - "You said you were my first but not my last. Tommy, you might be my first boyfriend but you definitely my last."

stuffings - "You are my beginning and my forever happy ending. I have no interest in looking for a different happy ending if you're not in it."

By the time he reached the last container, his eyesight were blurry with unshed tears.

Brownies - "Can we try one more time? I'm not ready to give on us."

Tommy was startled when the door to the closet swung open, Captain Pruitt looming over him with a plate of pecan pie in her hands. "I saw firefighter Buckley earlier when he dropped off the food. I don't know what's going on between the two of you and why both of you decided to break up, but Kinard, that man looks as if he still in love with you."

She panicked as Tommy burst into loud tears, holding the container of brownies to his chest.

Evan was cleaning up his kitchen, he was too tired and too emotionally wrung out to stay for the Thanksgiving dinner other than dropping off the last two pies for everyone to enjoy.

He frowned when he hear the doorbell, wondering if Maddie is going to stage another intervention on him when he opened the door, before staring in surprise.

Tommy was standing in front of him, still wearing his flight suit, holding the container with brownies and the sticky notes in his arms.

"Can we talk?" He asked with hopeful eyes.

Evan pulled him into the loft, closing the door behind them.

[skateboardtotheheart]

y'all acting so upset over a daddy kink being brought up in a CANON RELATIONSHIP with Buck looking PERFECTLY HAPPY ABOUT IT as if we didn't all see that look on Buck's face when Maddie asked him why he had a ring cutter

[rcmclachlan]

OKAY so this is for @dadvans specifically because he and I have spent many an evening across multiple fandoms shouting at each other about various characters and their raging pregnancy kinks but anyway.

I saw this post.

And I had this thought that Tommy's probably only ever thought of children tangentially. Like, I kind of clock him as an only child who didn't have any little kids in his neighborhood growing up. His dad's sister had three, all of them older than him, and his mom's brother had two but they lived on the other side of the country so he only saw them in Christmas card photos and once at his grandmother's funeral.

The only kids he's ever around are the ones he sees on calls, who are all either unconscious, traumatized, or somewhere in the background out of the way where he doesn't have to interact with them. He's basically that gif of Alec Baldwin trying to console a crying Tina Fey with a broom, like, "there there."

But now that his life is enmeshed with the 118, he's around kids all the time: Jee, Christopher, Denny, Mara. And he sees Buck with them—how good he is to them, how patient and kind and compassionate, how he listens seriously to them and always tries to meet them on their level—and it's doing something for him. Like, a lot.

Then, like, one evening Buck and Tommy have dinner with Kameron and Connor, and they bring the baby—who has Buck's eyes and the same shape of his lips—with them, and Tommy watches Buck like a hawk all night. Buck's a natural with Spencer: holding him like a pro, soothing him whenever he fussed, making him laugh. He's loath to put him down.

Tommy's never seen someone so suited to be a parent before. He knows Buck wants kids more than anything. Buck stops to interact with every child they pass on the street the way Tommy does with dogs, like he can't help it, like he's got a homing beacon inside him. And children gravitate to Buck like he's a Disney princess. And after watching Buck with Kameron and Connor's kid, Tommy can't stop thinking about it. About Buck and kids. Specifically, Buck and their kids. 

Tommy looks out into his backyard and can picture Buck out there putting together one of those plastic Fisher Price playhouses and running around chasing after a toddler waddling around on chubby legs and tucked up next to a crib in the guest room-turned-nursery reading The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear to a drooling baby trying to shove its foot in its mouth. A baby with Buck's eyes and mouth, and Tommy's nose and cheeks. 

SO ANYWAY smash cut to later that night and Tommy's balls-deep in Buck, fucking him slowly, doing it missionary the way Buck loves because this way they can kiss and he can see every stupid expression that crosses Tommy's face, and Tommy's staring down at him and blurts out, "You were really good with Spencer tonight." 

And Buck sort of gasp-laughs, like, "You know I love kids," and he arches up against Tommy, and Tommy's hand slides down between them so he can get a hand on Buck's cock, but halfway there he gets distracted by the feeling of Buck's belly. It's taut and toned and flexing with every thrust, and out of nowhere a little voice in his head goes but imagine what it would look like with a bump. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And then his brain kind of makes a weird popping noise and his mouth goes rogue and says, "I know you do. I know you wanna have kids. Would you wanna have my kids?"

Evan's eyes fly open wide and he sort of stutter-wheezes in shock, "What? What do you—"

But now that Tommy's started, he can't stop, and the leisurely pace he'd been maintaining loses rhythm before picking up the pace, just these deep, dragging thrusts that pull at Evan's hole on the drawback. "But I don't think you'd be satisfied with just being handed a kid. I think you'd want it to be part of you from the start. I think you'd wanna feel it every step of the way. You want to feel it growing inside you so bad, don't you, baby? I bet it's all you think about."

"Tommy, what the fuck—" But Evan's mouth is open and panting, tongue lolling around in his mouth like it's suddenly too big to control, and he starts shuddering hard enough that his bones must be rattling. Tommy can feel his fat dick twitching against his stomach, drooling so much precome the glide between them is soaked and almost too easy, and Evan's insides are vibrating where they clutch Tommy's cock like a vice.

With a grunt, Tommy gathers Evan's impossibly long legs in the bends of his elbows and folds him practically in half, wheezing like he's gutshot, "Maybe I can't trust you with our condoms anymore. Maybe you've poked holes in all of them."

"Oh fuck, that's so hot," Evan gasps, his arms flying up over his head so he can put his hands against the headboard and fuck himself wildly back on Tommy's cock, his eyes wide and scandalized, and alight with a lust bordering on violent. Even through the condom, Tommy can feel how hot he is inside, like a fever, like magma.

They've fucked a million ways since they first got together—enthusiastic, rough, slow, sweet, hard, exhausted, frenzied, grateful—but they've never fucked like this: just absolutely nasty. 

"What are you gonna do if the condom breaks?" Tommy gasps into Evan's ear, then bites it while Evan drags in desperate gulps of air and scrabbles for purchase on Tommy's back, fingers slipping in sweat. "I'd fill you up. I'd shove so much come up inside you that it'd have to take."

Evan's wailing so loud the neighbors are absolutely going to call the cops and his hole is rippling around Tommy's dick so good that Tommy's eyes roll back into his head, and then Evan starts begging like his heart's breaking, "Oh god, oh fuck, please, baby, do it, I want it so much, I want to feel it."

Through the sweat dripping in his stinging eyes, Tommy looks down at Evan, who's got his teeth bared like an animal, who's taking every punishing thrust like it's his due, even as his eyes well up with tears that spill over his temples into his hairline. He thinks of how it would feel without the condom between them, how he would see-saw his cock through wads of his own come into the dripping hot sleeve of Evan's body, every thrust pushing more and more of it into some secret place where it would stay until something took root. He squeezes his eyes shut, because if he spends one more second looking at the hungry, crazed expression twisting Evan's face into a rictus, he's going to come.

The bed frame's making metal-on-metal sounds that don't sound like they're covered under the warranty, but Tommy can't stop fucking Evan like he's trying to split him down the middle. He's going to shove his way inside until he reaches the pulp at the center and pries Evan open like a nectarine. 

"You want it?" Tommy bites out, then doesn't wait for an answer, dropping down and smearing his mouth over Evan's in a fierce, sloppy kiss, sucking his tongue, biting his lips. Their teeth clack together painfully and Evan makes wounded noises into his mouth when Tommy's cock grinds up deep inside him. Tommy fucks him brutally until he stops.

Breaking away with a choked gasp, Evan chants tearfully, "Oh my god, oh my god, come in me, please, I want you to, god, Tommy, fuck me pregnant," and then comes messily between them, and there's so much of it like there always is, soaking their skin, sliding down to get sucked up by the sheets. Evan sobs and comes and comes and comes himself insensate.

The combination of the hard clench of Evan's body and his desperate pleas touches some part of Tommy's lizard brain that feels like a one-two punch, and he fucks in and in and in frantically, buries himself inside that trembling furnace, and finally something breaks and he comes like it's the last thing he'll ever do.

Gracelessly, he collapses on top of Evan, sucking in great, painful gulps of air, while Evan shivers underneath him like he's been electrocuted (again). Somehow, Evan still finds the wherewithal to throw his arms around Tommy's back and cling, pulling down on him as though he can somehow make Tommy sink deeper into him, like he never wants to not be glued together by sweat and come. Impossible. Tommy's two-hundred-and-something pounds of deadweight and his head is full of television snow. He's a husk of a man. He's probably going to die here.

Evan coughs into Tommy's hair. His voice is in absolute tatters when he chokes out, "That was a hell of a way to ask if I want kids."

From where his face is smashed into the bed just above Evan's shoulder, Tommy mumbles, "I think every single brain cell my body's ever made is in the condom right now. Good thing you're the smart one or else our kid would be up shit creek."

Evan's entire body shakes with laughter, and Tommy can't help but join in, exhaustedly lifting his head so he doesn't miss a second more of that grin. If Athena knew the kinds of things Tommy'd do for that smile, she'd throw his ass in prison for the next 500 years.

"At least they'd still be pretty," Evan says, snickering. 

"There is that," Tommy agrees, and with a grunt he forces himself off the warm, welcoming mattress that Evan's allowed himself to become to deal with the aforementioned condom. He shudders in revulsion when he slides it off and tying it is an exercise in futility—it's disgustingly full and his hands are shaking. 

Evan lifts his head to see what he's doing, then lets it drop back with a huff. "Just wrap it in a bunch of tissues."

"Is it weird that I resent wearing it at all?" Tommy finally loops it so he can tie the knot, then throws it in the direction of the little trash barrel on the other side of the nightstand. It hits the floor with the same slap a water balloon makes. Tommy skeeves a face at it.

"'Course not," Evan says, sliding a hand up Tommy's thigh, aimless. "Our kid's swimming around in there somewhere."

Tommy risks a look at his face, because there's going with the flow and then there's letting your boyfriend plow you into the mattress while he tells you he wants to get you pregnant. But Evan doesn't look mad or like he's laughing at Tommy. He mostly looks peaceful, and maybe a little bemused. 

"Uh, I'm sorry about that," Tommy says, feeling so awkward he wants to peel his own skin off. It shapes his words strangely. "I just—watching you with Spencer made me a little insane, I think."

"Don't be sorry. I think I learned something new about myself tonight, but hell if I can tell you what it is." A sly smile spreads across Evan's face like a flame on a candle's wick. "Either way, it was fucking hot."

Relief unwinds all the muscles in Tommy's lower back, and he hunkers down, slotting himself up against Evan and pillowing his cheek on Evan's chest. Almost immediately, Evan slides the pads of his fingers up and down his spine, and Tommy can feel himself rapidly approaching post-nut blackout territory.

"But kids, though," Evan murmurs thoughtfully.

"Mm." Tommy sketches a nuzzle against Evan's nipple, which earns him a laugh and a slap to the back of the head. He chuckles and settles down with a hum. "Yeah. Well, our kids."

"Huh." The smile on Evan's face is audible, and deafening.

[vervainandspritz]

MORE GRATEFUL THAN THIS

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warnings: smut, deaththreat, gun, breeding, swearing, name calling, unprotected sex, choking, mean Tommy, humiliation, degradation

A/N: send smut requests for Tommy

~~

"Tommy, please I need you" Y/N whimpered out, leaning forward on the desk in his office. Her hand curled around the edge of the desk, eyes silently begging him to give in to her needs. Thomas knew Y/N too well to not be aware of how.. insatiable she was getting whenever she was ovulating. The way she trembled lightly, pressing her thighs together never ceased to make him stiffen beneath his slacks.

Abruptly getting up, he immediately gripped the back of her neck in his grasp, circling the desk and standing by her side. His body firm against her soft skin. The room would be completely silent if it wasn't for her heavy breathing which made him chuckle darkly as his fingers tightened around her throat.

"So fucking needy, eh?" He hissed, pulling her against his firm chest. Tommy's look was... Quite unusual today. His suit jacket was off, his white elegant shirt was covered by a vest. The vest.. covered the holster and gun sitting neatly beneath the material. "Distracting, not letting me work," He purred louder, seeing how her cheeks turned red and her eyes became cloudy and only then did he loosen the grip on her throat just lightly.

"Please–fuck, please!" She squirmed, trying to see him over her shoulder but he didn't allow it, quickly pushing her down onto his desk, causing a few pens and papers to fall on the floor, but it wasn't enough to get her attention. The tingling between her legs was much more bothering, causing her to whimper over and over again as her knuckles turned white. "Tommy!"

He chuckled arrogantly behind her back, eyes moving down onto her covered bottom as one of his hands kept her face pressed down onto the dark wood.

"Shut up!" He barked, pulling her dress up in a rough, indelicate movement, baring her round ass for his eyes only. "After all, I'm doing you a favour. The least you could do is shut the fuck up," His tongue wrapped around the.. cruel words nicely, bringing out the intense accent even more than usual as he watched her try to rub her thighs together, seeking friction more desperately as his snarling came to her ears. Thomas' lips turned into a grin, knowing well how mean words worked her up. How easily influenced she was by his presence. He knew exactly what she wanted and needed, even if she wasn't aware just yet. ”Needy whore,” He growled, tugging on her hair as the other hand ripped her underwear, causing the cold air to hit her most sensitive spot.

The arousal, desire and longing for his touch quickly mixed with anger, hearing his words. Squeezing her thighs harder, Y/N finally managed to speak up.

”Maybe I–I should go somewhere else then, wouldn't have to look long!” She bit back with a snarl, feeling the way his fingers pulled on the makeshift ponytail harder out of nowhere. His hand shifted further, gripping her jaw and throat with one hand, as his body covered her own from the back, pressing her down.

Only then she felt his wet, hot manhood gliding between her legs while throbbing angrily. The warmth radiating off his skin was almost intoxicating and she let out a quick whine feeling the wide tip of his cock pressing against her lips, not enough to breach the opening. Her eyes fell shut weakly.

”Feel that?” He asked in a husky, low voice, every ounce of humour disappeared from his tone. Another hand snaked beneath her body, petting her pussy a couple times and causing her to squirm feeling the painful stimulation on her sensitive clit. Before she could let out any sound, her eyes rolled to the back of her skull as the desk jerked forward along with the hard thrust Thomas gave her, burying the entire length of his thick cock in her cunt with a growl. ”That's my cock, stretching your needy fuckhole. I thought I taught you to be more grateful than this, pet.” He purred into her ear, and Y/N could only moan loudly as she felt his movements behind her back.

”But it seems like you need a reminder, eh?” He let out a chuckle, and Y/N immediately turned stiff head to toe, as she felt the cold barrel pressing up against her temple. His hot breath coming in contrast to the cold metal, as he laughed arrogantly again, beginning to move his hips, stretching her tender walls and stuffing her full of him. Her orgasm began running towards her like a train just then, and the mix of emotions became so blurry, she could barely make anything out.

”Who does this naughty cunt belong to, pet?” He asked calmly, almost like he wasn't holding a gun to her head. Y/N's eyes watered as her heart pounded loudly in her chest, yet the heat pooling in her pussy was unmistakable, and she knew he felt that.

”Y–You, Tommy” She stuttered out as he fucked her a little harder, keeping a steady pace. She winced hearing the sound indicating his weapon is charged.

”You can do better than that, eh?” He kissed her cheek lightly, his lips softly pressing next to where the barrel remained snugly.

”It's yours, I'm yours, Tommy! I'm sorry!” She cried out quickly, starting to genuinely fear for her life as he chuckled once more.

Pressing his lips to the back of her head, he inhaled her scent, closing his eyes. Tommy's hips picked up at a fast pace, ruthlessly rutting into her wet heat, huffing and growling under his breath at how tightly her pussy gripped him, almost like it didn't want to let him go.

”Good girl. Good fucking girl” He purred, his right hand grasping her hips in a bruising grip, making her whine at the sting as he fucked her hard and fast, chasing his orgasm. The coldness at her temple was a reminder, as Thomas pressed the gun harder against her skin. ”Come for me, pet. Because you may not have the chance anymore.” His words were drained from any emotion, his hips pulling her own in tandem with his thrusts, pushing deeper than ever before. The fear in Y/N's mind increased the arousal, causing her to see starts in the pitch black of her eyelids as she cried out, tears spilling on her cheeks. Her weak voice kept begging him not to, repeating 'please' over and over as finally, he groaned out loud, pushing his cock snuggly against her cervix, getting as deep as physically possible.

...and then she heard it. His huff, followed by the cling of a gunshot... Of an empty barrel. No bullet coming out.

Y/N let out a shaky breath, laying completely still with her eyesight being a blurry mess, as she felt his cum filling her to the brim.

Thomas slowly raised from her back, supporting himself on his hands as he reached to his pocket, pulling out a handful. Slowly, one by one he let the bullets fall on the desk, causing her to wince at the loud sound as she looked to see what it was.

Her heart stopped for a second, realizing that he took the bullets out when she couldn't see, laying face down on the desk. Finally, she managed to let out a sigh of relief, visibly relaxing. Tommy chuckled, seeing it before he leaned down, leaving little pecks on her cheek.

”You're welcome, Mrs. Shelby”

...and Y/N couldn't help but smile, trying to catch her breath as her husband pulled back, causing his cum to trickle down her legs.

~~

[cjlouwho]

Let me wear my clown mask. 911: Hawaii with Tommy as the lead. Here we go!

Diving into Tommy's family history. His tumultuous relationship with his father. Maybe his mother is dead, or maybe they have a pretty good relationship and she's hurt that he moved so far away from her.

Revisiting his time in the army. How he was there during the height of DADT. How that impacted him, even though he was nowhere near ready to be out at that point anyway.

Leading the team, maybe the first gay captain this station has ever had (it's 911, they'll make something of it). He's not one to really announce his sexuality, so it doesn't come out until they get sent on a call and someone is being a homophobe (or being harassed in some way).

He starts family dinners at his station, because that was one of the biggest impacts Bobby had on him. However, he's not great at cooking so when they have spaghetti night for the fourth time in a row, they decide to all take turns cooking dinner instead.

The first time he gets hurt it's not on the job. He's hiking and he ends up falling down a cliff and has to be rescued. He doesn't expect his entire team to show up in his hospital room with gifts and treats. When he tells them they didn't have to come, he's surprised by the looks of confusion as the probie says, "Of course we came? We're family." He holds off on the tears until after they leave.

There's a District Captain that leads a group of lifeguards that his station finds themselves working with a lot. He's kind, funny, a good leader, and hot as hell. He and Tommy could go toe to toe in a sarcasm-battle any day. No one is ever sure who would win. One thing everyone is sure of, is that these two like each other. If only they'd figure that out themselves!

Said district captain also helps Tommy to loosen up a bit. He sees Tommy for the mess he is, and he likes the mess, and he also likes to tell Tommy his posture doesn't always have to be so perfect.

Tommy becomes fiercely protective of his team in ways he didn't even imagine he ever would. He beats himself up after someone on his crew gets hurt, tries to think of all the ways he screwed up so it doesn't happen again. The team has to remind him that it wasn't his fault, this stuff happens sometimes, and no one blames him.

Oh yeah, when the district captain is hurt one day, Tommy comes over to bring him soup but ends up staying for three days just taking care of him. Doesn't even think about it.

And when Tommy gets hurt (again) that same captain comes to take care of Tommy. Tommy tries to say, over and over, that he can take care of himself. This guy won't hear of it though. Outright tells Tommy to shut up and let him help or he's gonna be pissed. Tommy doesn't fight it.

Tommy Begins.

Shirtless Tommy at the beach.

We could have so many helicopter crashes. So many!

[lexirosewrites]

popping in for slick sunday thinking more about a fic i have in progress right now (quick cw for threats of violence) :

specifically a scene where omega!steve and alpha!eddie have their daughter (well, steve's daughter, but she might as well be eddie's too at this point) at the park or something. somehow, in the minute or two they looked away for some undetermined reason, their girl disappears. one minute, she was going down the slide, and the next, gone.

it doesn't take long to find her. five minutes, max. she didn't get far. but in those five minutes, steve's entire world is collapsing. he can't live without his daughter. he's on the verge of a panic attack when eddie finally spots her, just off to the side of the playground picking some flowers. steve's panic morphs straight into anger the second he sees the man standing next to her. a man he recognizes.

he storms over, eddie following behind like a lost puppy who has no idea what's going on. eddie had been fortunate enough in his years to never bear witness to true omega rage. until now. he'd heard stories of omegas protecting their pups, doing whatever it takes to keep them safe, but he had never seen it in real time until this moment. he doesn't know who this man is, but it's clear that steve does, and he wants him nowhere near his little girl.

steve calls his daughter's name, visibly trying to keep his cool and not scare her. she looks up, and the brightest smile stretches across her face. "look, daddy!" she calls back, holding up her tiny fist, full of flowers. "i got flowers!"

"i can see that," steve responds with a soft smile, one eddie has only ever seen him give to her. "why don't you and eddie take those very pretty flowers back to the playground, my love? i'm sure he can help you find something to put them in so we can bring them home with us."

eddie wants to protest. he wants to stay, to figure out who this man is and why steve is so hell bent on being alone with him. he distinctly smells alpha on the stranger, which only makes him want to stay more. however, he listens. mostly. he does take her back to the playground. they find a cup to hold the flowers in, in the bag steve packed. then she goes back to the playing, running around with some of the other kids. the whole time, eddie has one eye and one ear on steve and the stranger, who isn't such a stranger.

the conversation starts out hushed. eddie can't hear anything. soon, though, there's shouting. eddie can't help but watch, slowly migrating closer in case he needs to step in. whether that would be to protect steve or the stranger, eddie isn't so sure.

"you're the one that didn't want this, tommy!" steve spits at the stranger, tommy. "you're the one that walked away!"

"you can't keep me from my own kid, steve," tommy spits back. "i have rights."

ah, eddie thinks to himself, this is starting to make a lot more sense.

"you gave up those rights when you walked out and told me to never contact you again, asshole. she is not your kid. she's mine."

"she has my DNA, doesn't she?" tommy crosses his arms. "you'll either let me see her, or i'm taking you to court for full custody. your choice."

"like fucking hell you are. i swear to god, tommy, if you come anywhere near her ever again, i will slit your fucking throat."

that's all i have thought out for this so far, and it'll be much more detailed and planned out if/when it eventually gets put into the fic itself, but i've been thinking about it a lot lately and thought you might enjoy it :)

happy slick sunday, friend :)

protective omega steve is the best!! thank you for sharing and happy slick sunday to you too!!💛

[loufuckers]

so the 118 obviously has a boyfriend tax jar that's exclusively for buck. when buck starts dating tommy everyone's very happy for them so they're willing to put up with buck constantly bringing him up and talking about everything he gets up with his boyfriend thinking that it'll stop once they leave the honeymoon phase except that it's been nearly six months now and he won't stop talking about tommy and there's only so much one can hear about a coworker's sex life before starting to go a little bit mad, so, the jar is introduced

buck gets three free passes a day and after that every mention of tommy requires money in the jar ($1 every time he mentions his name, $2 if he calls him "my boyfriend" because that's somehow even more sappy, $5 if he mentions what they get up in bed, $10 if the words "dick" and "hole" get brought up (after one conversation where everyone learns way much more than they ever need to know about buck's sex life a new fine is installed: $20 if buck ever calls tommy "daddy" at the station))

so anyway, the jar system is working. it doesn't stop buck from talking about his boyfriend at all, if anything since the jar started he talks about him more, but at least the money collected funds the A-shift's once a month happy hour so we're calling it a success. except that one day out of nowhere eddie also starts bringing up tommy and just won't stop. one day he spends a good twenty minutes talking about tommy's hands and how massive they looked when they were working on some car's engine, another day is all about how big tommy is and how his muscles look while he works out, three days after that is about how nice tommy is with animals and kids and how he can bake the fluffiest cakes, did you know that? and whenever this is happening buck will only look at eddie and smile and doesn't say a word

so the 118 is very fucking confused because the tommy jar is exclusively for buck because they thought no one else would have a reason to not shut up about him but now here eddie is and they don't know if they're supposed to start making him put money on it too because like, it's the boyfriend jar after all. they also don't know what to make of it. is buck exploiting a loophole they didn't consider before through eddie? are those actually eddie's thoughts? does eddie have a crush on buck's boyfriend? does buck know? is he okay with it? do they need to rename the jar to simply "the tommy jar" and make everyone who brings him up put money in it?

(the confusion is cleared out a couple months later one day that buck and eddie get to work together one morning and before doing anything else eddie drops twenty dollars on the jar and loudly announces to everyone "so, turns out buck wasn't overselling how pretty tommy looks when you ride him. truly life altering experience". everyone considers just banning mentioning tommy at all during working hours)

[neptune-scythe]

I think it's so interesting that they chose to bring gerard and tommy back in the same season,

like of all the people to put in the gay realization arc, they bring in Tommy the same season they bring back gerard like why aren't we talking about this actually

which granted i don't know if they had planned gerard coming back all the way in the begining of season 7 but since there were only the 10 episodes they did probably have some idea where they were going with the season so it's very likely hey knew how it was going to end as well

and like those two character specifically

the ones who were honestly the main obstacles in both Hen and Chim's begins episodes like there's something going on there

and like Tommy wasn't even a queer character before season 7, so it wasn't even like they just grabed the only gay they had to bring back, they made him gay for that plot, which means they could have literally grabbed any other previous character or came up with a new one for the queer awakening

but it's like such an interesting juicy choice to bring those two back, especially since it's buck's first experience with both of them, like the paralells between those characters

the way Buck has to deal with the bitch ass boss a work and the come home to bitch ass boyfriend

and especially the tommy of it all like he could easily come across as ok and just like kinda sus whatevs maybe but not too big a deal but to have him there along with gerard, where he's gonna be in a situation where all of gerards flaws that tommy shares are going to be brought to light, tommy isn't going to be able to hide

and you bet your ass buck is going to notice the way tommy is never going to take his side when he complains about Gerard (like we've already seen in 8x01), or agree with him bro only has a few more "sounds like Gerard"s left him before mr. audhd puts two and two together and goes "erm who's side are you on babe" and mr. jealous lying liar who lies is going to pull some wordsmith vague shit that is very none commital and doesn't give a straight answer and mr. doesn't know when to let shit go or drop anything ever will not stop pushing until the truth comes out and tommy's true nature is revealed

and also i think good for Buck to stand up for himself in his personal life

like bro has no issue fighting back at work (obviously), but other than the Taylor break up (and, i guess natalia too but we didn't actually see that) he doesn't really think too much about it, he just wants to be loved and cherished and he just kind of goes wherever he feels that or thinks he may feel eventually and he doesni't really look at the situation objectively to see if it's really what he needs and is good for him

and even with the taylor break up, it kinda just came out of nowhere like until that one episode they were doing fine, they seemed good with each other, every time we saw them they were putting effort into the relationship and didn't really seem to be headed towards a break up, and even right before they broke up when Buck was talking about it to Eddie or whoever, it wasn't really in a way that made it seem like they were going to break up, he was just talking about how angry he was and all that and he didn't want to be mean, so even then we didn't really get to see him really looking at their relationship and coming to that conculsion it was just the one corversation with Eddie about how he needed to talk to her, and then them breaking up

but i digress the point is it'll be very good for buck to be the on the break up with Tommy. and especially over him being a racist sexist jerk to his friends, which objectively is bad and anyone should be broken up with for that but it'll force buck to think about his priorities and what's important to him and what he really wants/needs out of a relationship and why he even started dating tommy in the first place which was because he was just projecting his feelings for Eddie onto Tommy

but Buck knows he's bi now and Eddie's gonna know he's queer it's all going to fall into place

and also i think the absence if Christopher is going to play into all that as well becuase it's going to make Buck realize how important he is to him like obviously the whole tsunami was very telling of how much Buck cares for Christopher, but that was very tense life and death situation and very emotionally charged and hightened and there was also the element of not wanting to let eddie down and all that and he was depressed and sad and lonely and all that

but i digress

christopher being gone is going to force him to realize what a huge part of his life Christopher and Eddie are and how important they are to him, and why

I think contrasting his relationship with Tommy and his relationship with Eddie will be very enlightening for him and make him actually step back and objectively look at his relationship with Eddie and what exactly that means and what it is and what it's always been

[lemotmo]

They just don't get it. They intentionally don't want to get it. It's bizarre. The Max thing was spot on and I never thought of that before!

Q. I'm going to ask this with good intentions so hopefully you respond with equally good intentions. I don't understand how you all can honestly say they didn't have any buildup because I'm sorry they did. And they ended episode 5 in a truly good and sweet place so breaking them up in the very next episode was indeed a weird and out of nowhere choice. And I understand you're all excited, odd way to truly show love for Buck but that's not my business I guess. But Ryan pretty clearly shut down the Buddie stuff in his interviews So I don't know why you're so convinced.

A. Anon, I always attempt to answer asks with good intentions. But it's difficult not to sound perplexed when answering asks you know the sender doesn't actually believe themselves. They had absolutely no build up. You all keep throwing that word around and not a single one of you have offered any kind of example as to the build up you're talking about. The man was barely ever on screen. Buck barely ever spoke about him when he wasn't on screen. Build up is impossible if neither one of those things are occurring.

They met. They had a misunderstanding of a first kiss. They had a terrible first date that ended with Buck standing alone on a curb. Buck had a lovely conversation with Maddie about said terrible date, but that was an accident. He went to her because he was upset about lying to Eddie. Maddie even told Buck he wasn't sure of his own feelings ( I admit that personally I always leaned more into Maddie was probably talking about Buck not being sure of his attraction to a man in the first place, but Maddie has had Buck's underlying Eddie thing pegged since her arrival and his first kiss with Tommy was entirely muddled by his obvious misplaced confusion regarding Eddie so it's even more likely Eddie is who she was talking about). She then told Buck if he decided he had something to tell Eddie then he would. The entire conversation was Eddie based. Tommy made a brief appearance at the bachelor party, didn't bother dressing for the occasion, looked bored, yawned and then went to fight a fire. He and Buck didn't have a single conversation. He showed up at the hospital wedding, had a second kiss so Buck could have a mass coming out (the point of that scene was to ensure that Eddie was the only one who Buck personally came out too. Eddie was the only one he wanted the actual conversation with. That was the point of the hospital scene). Buck and Tommy have a weird date in the season finale where Tommy briefly mentions issues with his father after Buck tries to initiate a conversation about Bobby. Then he made a daddy sex joke. He had one scene in the premier with Buck and Eddie and spoke two lines. 'That sounds like Gerard ' and 'you're a vision in a cone'. We don't see him again until 8x5. He briefly shows up at the hospital and joins with Eddie in mocking Buck for his belief in curses. We see him at the loft with Buck where he brings him an ice pack and ibuprofen (which Buck is likely allergic too) and then tells Buck to turn off his laptop and go to bed while Buck is trying to talk about the Billy Boils stuff he's looked up. We see him sitting at the table the next day while Eddie, who Tommy called btw, is tending to Buck's face. We see him at the hospital with the team being the only one who doesn't receive the group text about Denny, making it noticeable that Tommy is an outsider (the entire point of him being in that scene). Then we see him at the graveyard with Buck but he's in the background and blurry. It is a clear contrast to the Buck and Eddie graveyard scene from season 6 where Eddie is standing beside Buck at the gravestone. Both scenes were written by the same person so it was a clear, intentional parallel. In episode 6 we see their anniversary date. Tommy gave Buck basketball tickets, the audience knows Buck doesn't like basketball (everyone knew it was over in that moment). Buck learns that Tommy used to date Abby. Tommy tells him that Abby went nuts after he broke up with her and took up with some 'himbo' half her age. The audience knows he's talking about Buck. Buck goes to Maddie and then Josh with his concern. Josh gives a speech that is so blatantly about Eddie it's laughable, I'm ignoring the glee part because gross. Tommy shows up for a date. Buck does what Buck always does when he's unsure of his true feelings and tries to double down on the relationship. He asks Tommy to move in with him. Tommy tells him that he can't do that because he knows how their relationship ends. He tells Buck that he's his first not his last. Buck makes a point of saying some people can be both. The show makes a point of having Tommy say yes but not usually. It was intentional to force that dialogue exchange into that scene because although Eddie won't be Buck's first he will be his last. Buck will be Eddie's first AND his last. Making Buck the exception to the rule Tommy is telling him about. Even their breakup was used to foreshadow Buck and Eddie.

This was their entire canon relationship. Where is a single scene of build up? Where is a single scene of great potential? There isn't one. Because all this relationship ever was was Buck's bisexual realization. The show used it to finally make Buck aware of his attraction to men. The rest of the relationship was used to juxtapose the contrasts between Eddie and Tommy. The show purposely made them surface level similar so they could highlight their differences as far as Buck goes. Tommy was a plot point for Buck's storyline. And a subplot leading into the Buck and Eddie storyline. He was never a character in his own right. He never had agency. He was never anything other than a plot point for Buck. Everything you all are screaming about are Cameos you paid for and headcanons you invented. It was a relationship built entirely in your minds and through Lou's grifting of you. That's not our fault. That's not the show's fault. And it's definitely not Oliver's fault. It's your fault. And it is Lou's fault. You're entirely to blame for your pain.

I'm only going to add one thing regarding the interviews because I think we've all explained the interview things at nauseam at this point. But I will say this. Every interview Ryan does with Max comes off as weird. Every single one. Ryan always overcompensates in Max interviews because I think he goes into them automatically on the defensive. Max has openly talked about is dislike of Ryan and it's clear that Ryan is not comfortable during those interviews and it comes across in his responses. Everything sounds defensive in those interviews. I ignore those interviews entirely. The show really should stop forcing Ryan to talk to him, at least in my opinion. Anyway anon, you already knew all of this but I condensed it nicely for you. Enjoy!

Thanks Nonny! Much appreciated!

I don't understand how people can see buildup in a relationship that only got 41 minutes in total over a couple of episodes in season 7 and 8. All their scenes were awkward and devoid of any chemistry. In season 8 there wasn't even any physical contact anymore, besides a kiss on the cheek. That isn't buildup. That is plot device.

As for Max Gao? Yeah, ever since Max wanted to get an interview with Ryan a few years back and it didn't work out, he's been really obvious in his dislike for Ryan. It must be an uncomfortable situation for Ryan.

All of the other interviews? Just forget about them for a while. Read them, but take them with a big bag of salt and forget them. Focus on the show and the story they seem to be telling us. Follow the clues in the narrative. Don't listen too much to showrunners and actors. They will deflect if they feel someone might get too close to the truth.

We've had so many examples in the past of 911 actors talking about things that didn't turn out to be true. This is following the same pattern in my opinion.

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[callme-dickmaster]

Basket Case

Ch. Two - Fuck Steve Harrington

summary: a bad day of bullying leads to miscommunications and unwarranted anger, teeth grinding, cw: this may be v long, afab! reader, minimal use of y/n, bullying, language, taking out anger on wrong people, teeth grinding author's note: hullo

Monday, November 7, 1983

Outrage was an understatement to describe the feeling in your chest when you walked into your second period class and Jonathan was nowhere to be found. You dug your nails into the wood of the desk and ground your teeth. The girl who sat next to you cringed at the scraping sound but was too afraid to say anything.

As you ground your teeth for the millionth time that class, Carol Perkins turned around in her chair to glare at you. "Can you stop being a freak? It's so annoying," Carol huffed, turning back around.

You rolled your eyes, "Can you stop acting like a smelly cunt? It's so annoying." Carol whipped around to gape at you. You smiled and widened your eyes, trying and succeeding in creeping her out. Carol narrowed her eyes at you but turned back to face the front when the teacher snapped Carol's name with a threat of detention.

You threw your bologna at Eddie Munson and sat on the empty bleachers in the football field to eat the remnants of your lunch. "Well, well...isn't this a treat?" you rolled your eyes. Tommy and Carol walked up the loud metal steps to your lunch spot.

"Hello," you mumbled to them, taking a bite of your now plain mustard sandwich. "What'd you bring me, weirdo?" Tommy asked, snatching the bread and opening it. Him and Carol scrunched up their faces and laughed.

"Only mustard?" Carol scoffed, "What? Are you that poor you can't even afford lunch meat?" she sneered. You chuckled, opening your Star Crunch and taking a big bite. "My bologna is currently in Eddie Munson's mane. You wanna make fun of someone, go make fun of him. He gets a kick out of it," you said, smiling sarcastically at the couple.

Carol pouted, sitting next to you on the bleachers, tightly wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You tensed up, looking pleadingly at a girl sitting two rows away. The girl pursed her lips and looked to the ground, putting her headphones on. You sighed, playing with the plastic around your snack. "Now why would we make fun of you? We're buddies! Aren't we?" Carol asked, looking at her boyfriend.

Tommy hummed in fake sincerity, "Oh, hell yeah!" he said. He leaned up on the seat next to you. "We're super close..." Tommy said, pushing your sandwich mustard side down onto your face. You wrinkled your nose at the smell of the yellow sauce as Carol took the other half and smushed it into your hair.

You huffed, shoving the girl off you and grabbing your bag. You kicked Tommy in the shin to get him out of your way and glared at them. Especially the girl who ignored you.

"Great..." you sighed, picking tiny pieces of bread out of your hair as you stomped back into school with no intention of staying any longer.

"Shit!"

Steve gasped as he ran straight into you, spilling his Coke all over you and turning your clothes brown. You closed your eyes and bit your tongue to hold in the scream you wanted to let out in Steve's face.

"Whoa, y/n, what happened? I'm really sorry I-," You interrupted him with a frustrated groan. "Just shut up, Steve! God, stop pretending you care! The lunch time assault was probably all your idea anyway!" you yelled.

You tried to shove past him and the other students that had gathered around to watch you get drenched in soda.

"Hang on. What?" Steve asked, following after you.

You spun around and threw your hands up, "Let me put it in the simplest terms so you can understand: Fuck you!"

Steve stopped in his tracks, watching you leave with a defeated feeling. He couldn't figure out why you were so mad. He didn't mean to spill his drink on you, he just wasn't watching where he was going. He knew he wasn't the smartest guy in the world, let alone Hawkins, but he could put pieces together to figure out that it wasn't all his fault. And he definitely wasn't going to take the fall for it.

Nancy saw you walking by covered in yellow and brown stains before you ducked into the bathroom. She was going to ignore it since you and Nancy barely knew each other, but you'd been good to Mike and her mom loved you so she couldn't toss it aside.

"Y/n?" Nancy spoke, walking into the bathroom. You were standing at the mirror trying to strip the mustard from your hair with a paper towel.

"Hey..." you sighed. You huffed and snatched some more napkins out of the dispenser.

"Do...do you want some help?" Nancy asked. You spared her a glance and sighed. You slumped in on yourself and begrudgingly gave her the paper towel wad you had in your hand.

"Here..." Nancy laughed awkwardly, wetting them and trying to gently wipe your cheek. "What happened?" she asked, dragging the napkins through your hair.

"Your little boyfriend's stupid friends. Cornered me during lunch," you grumbled. Nancy stopped and shrugged, "Well...I mean, it wasn't Steve's fault," she chuckled. You rolled your eyes. Of course it wasn't Steve's fault. It was never Steve's fault.

"Wouldn't surprise me..." you murmured. Nancy grabbed a few more paper towels and ran them under water. "Well, just because they're friends doesn't really mean anything...he's a nice guy! He wouldn't..." Nancy tried.

You scoffed, "Sure. Just like he wouldn't help Tommy and his other douchebag basketball buddies stuff Eddie Munson into a locker. Thanks a lot, Nancy, I'll see you around," you grabbed your stuff and hightailed it out of there. You nearly sprinted out to your car, trying to avoid anyone as you climbed into your car.

You could see Steve talking to Tommy and Carol by the gym entrance. Probably laughing it up about their newest conquest. In reality, Steve was pissed. You were angry with him because Tommy and Carol were assholes.

"Dude, seriously?" Steve sighed, tapping Tommy on the shoulder.

"What?! She doesn't get to walk around like that and talk shit to Carol!" Tommy replied, tossing his arms up. Carol crossed her arms, nodding in agreement. Steve huffed, torn on what he was supposed to do. In the couple hours he'd spent one on one with you, he found out you weren't as bad as people made you out to be. You made him laugh and you actually had a lot in common. Not that he would ever tell Tommy that.

"Well, now she's pissed at me. And she's my partner for this stupid project in Mrs. Click's! Dammit!" Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair. Tommy and Carol rolled their eyes.

"C'mon man. No way you feel bad for her. It's her own fault, dude! If she didn't act so weird maybe people wouldn't pick on her," Tommy said, putting his hands up in defense. He finally just shrugged, tossing an arm around Carol and leading her back into the school. Steve sighed, catching the end of your car as you drove down the street.

You were going fifteen over the speed limit to get home. Now that Dustin had his bike back, you didn't have to wait for him. You ran inside, ignoring your mother's worried squeaking at the yellow "staining" her daughter's head and slammed the bathroom door. You turned on the shower and sat on the closed toilet lid, burying your face in your hands.

Why you? What did you ever do? As you stepped into the shower and started washing your hair, you were kicking yourself in your mind. How could you let yourself think that Steve might not be who you thought he was? And how could Nancy make excuses for him? Just because he had good hair and they made out sometimes? It was obvious Nancy was just as blind as everyone else.

"Evie, honey? I-I went ahead and put out some pajamas for you. Maybe we can watch a movie before Dusty gets home? Just us two?" your mom asked, softly knocking on the door. You sniffed and said a quiet "okay..." before you wiped down the mirror and sighed at your reflection. You only had a few words swimming in your head.

Fuck Nancy. Fuck Hawkins. And fuck Steve Harrington.

<3

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

broken trust. [part 5] l Joel Miller

Summary:  you used to be very close, but he broke your heart, now your paths have crossed again

Warnings: +18, angst, swearing, mentioning about sex, violence, blood, crying, guns

A/N: this part is finished this way and not otherwise, because I'm preparing an epilogue. I have to! this part seemed too long to me. I hope you will spend a few nice minutes reading my scribbles. a few people mentioned tagging - @vickie5446 @dreamtofus @missladym1981 @hiroikegawa 🖤 

[PART 3]

A murmur went through the hall and people stared at Tommy uneasily. This wasn't good news. When all the patrols returned to Jackson, one group didn’t bring you good information..

"It's not a big group." Tommy continued ignoring the quiet discussions. "Four, maybe five men. They're armed. Michael and Alex have been watching them for a while."

"They don't seem friendly, dude." Michael, the man with the longer gray beard shook his head. "I think it's the ones from the group we ran into a while ago."

Tommy looked at Joel standing nearby.

"He means the ones you and Ellie met a while ago." He explained. "Y/N, you were very lucky you ran into each other back then."

You threw a quick glance at Joel. He must have been thinking the same thing you were. You were very lucky.

"We need to get our car back before they get to it. I know you're fresh off patrol, I understand if any of you want to back out." the men immediately gave their consent to leave Jackson again "Alright then. We'll meet at the main gate in an hour. Check the weapons. If we succeed, it'll be a quick thing."

People started to leave and only a few, like you, remained in the pub. You had nowhere to go, except to just glance at your empty apartment, so you stayed to drink some warm coffee and rest.

"You were very lucky." Tommy approached you "When you found Joel and Ellie."

"Yeah, I guess." you replied, turning the warm mug over in your hands "One of them gave me a hard time anyway. I don't know how I couldn’t have guessed that there might be more of them."

"You couldn't have helped it." the man sighed "Besides, you found Joel, and for that I will always be grateful." he looked towards his brother, who was sipping whiskey at a long bar "How did the patrol go? Do you get along?"

"It's complicated." you replied, forcing a smile.

"My brother can be complicated." Tommy looked at you carefully after a moment. "Y/N, are you sure you want to come with us? You can stay, no one will hold it against you. You look tired."

"It's fine. I want to go. After all, it was our car."

Tommy nodded and patted you on the shoulder, then went to the next group of men.

Despite trying to smile, you felt every muscle in your body. The patrol had worn you out not only physically. 

On the way back, you and Joel barely spoke. You felt that some chapter had ended between you, but you weren't sure what awaited you next. However, you didn't feel as many bad emotions as before. All the anger and sadness had spilled out on Joel in that forest, and he accepted it, feeling that he deserved it all.

A familiar touch on your back brought your thoughts back to Jackson. Joel stood by you as if unsure that what he was doing was the right thing by approaching you at all.

"It's time," he said calmly. "If you wanted to stay..."

"No, I'm ready." You finished your cold coffee and quickly stood up. "And you? Are you feeling okay?"

He nodded, but a faint smile appeared on his lips. Something had changed between you.

It was already dusk and it had gotten really cold. You were walking through the forest, divided into smaller groups. A few people had horses. You, however, felt more confident on your own feet. Tommy and Joel, and a few other riders weren’t far from you. Everything was going well. You walked between trees more carefully and slowly approached the place where you had left your car.

"I feel safer knowing that there are guards left in Jackson too." the man walking near you muttered.

In your mind, you agreed with him. You couldn't leave Jackson without protection. Everyone, however, was counting on you to return quickly and without any major problems.

You heard a strange crack behind you and turned around, aiming your gun.

"Ellie?!" you hissed, noticing a familiar face in the increasingly dim light. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm going with you." the girl replied, pulling her gun out of her belt.

"Joel knows?" you asked, but you already knew the answer. "Of course not! Ellie! He'll kill you and then me! Go back to Jackson!"

"Y/N, we're so far away that it would be stupid to send me there alone." the girl noticed, smiling slyly. "I'll stay with you. I'm safe here, with you."

You shook your head in disbelief. You knew Ellie was right. You couldn't let her go to the city alone.

"You're going right next to me, do you understand?"

She nodded and followed you like a shadow.

Now your nerves were strained to the limit. Every sound, every clatter, made your heart beat faster. However, you calmly reached the edge of the forest and saw a car abandoned in the middle of the road.

Everything looked normal. There were no infected nearby, and the vehicle seemed untouched since your escape.

"What are we waiting for?" whispered Ellie after a few minutes when, despite everything, you didn't come out of the trees.

"We're waiting for the signal." You answered her quietly, "Look."

On the other side, someone flashed a small flashlight at you. It was Tommy signaling that the opposite side of the road was safe.

"Can we go now?" Ellie was excited.

"I think so. But..."

"The last one at the car is a stinking egg!"

You didn't have time to catch her. Your fingers only brushed her jacket when the girl ran out of the forest and headed towards the car. Your heart froze for a split second, and then you ran after her with all your might.

"Ellie! Stop!" you hissed.

But you noticed immediately that something was wrong. A strange movement on your left side, it wasn't any infected.

"Ellie!" you shouted after the girl.

That made her look over her shoulder. She slowed down, and you reached out your hand towards her, and then several things happened at once.

A loud gunshot echoed through the quiet area, you ran into Ellie and fell to the ground with her, hiding her under your body, and then you heard the bang of more gunshots.

You tried not to move, afraid that whatever you did would lead to the girl getting hurt. You wouldn't forgive yourself for that, and you couldn't look Joel in the face.

You heard the pounding of hooves, screams, and more gunshots. Tommy's distinct voice, calling out to everyone. After a few minutes, everything seemed to quiet down.

You slid off Ellie and rolled onto your back, exhausted. The girl stood up and that's when you noticed it. Her pale face was terrified and her hands...

"Ellie! Is that blood?" you gasped out "Are you hurt?!"

The girl shook her head and her lips barely moved.

"Y/N... That's not my blood." she whispered.

You didn't understand her words at first. Not her blood? Then whose blood was it?

And then you understood. You looked at your side where a dark stain was growing with every passing moment.

"Shit!"

The adrenaline in your blood effectively minimized the feeling of pain, but when you realized what had happened, everything was more intense.

"We have to stop the bleeding!" the girl whispered. "Like Doc said! We have to put pressure on it!"

When she put her hands on your side you writhed in pain, moaning.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N! I'm so sorry!" Ellie whimpered "Joel! Joel!"

But it wasn't Joel who heard her voice.

"It was worth waiting for you." a male voice boomed from behind the car "I knew someone would come for that car! Now they'll have to talk to me if they want you alive."

The man was pointing a gun at you. He was tall and bulky, he must have been hiding in the car so neither of you saw him. You quickly grabbed Ellie's arm to hide her behind you.

The man's eyes wandered from Ellie to you. He was desperate, and you couldn't do anything being wounded. You lost your gun the moment you threw yourself at Ellie, and she had your blood on her hands.

"Listen, this won't do you any good..." you started slowly, trying to calm him down and buy some time "Our group is bigger..."

"Shut up, bitch!" the gun aimed at you "If they want to get their ladies, they'll have to fucking talk to me!"

It was a second before a dark silhouette appeared behind him, in an instant the man hit his head on the hood of the car, and then again and again. The gun fell from his hand, and Ellie quickly ran up to pick it up from the asphalt.

The man's bloody face didn't even flinch as he fell to the ground.

"Joel!" Ellie squealed at the sight of him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" he growled angrily, but he noticed the traces of blood on her hands and face. "Did you..."

"Not me!" she interrupted quickly.

When his gaze fell on you, Joel could have sworn his heart had stopped beating.

"Joel..."

That was all you could stutter as he ran up to you. You hissed in pain as he moved your hands away, touching the still bleeding wound. You saw the fear in his eyes, but his decisions were quick and precise.

He picked you up and headed towards the car. Ellie quickly opened the door for him and put you inside, then she sat in the back.

"Joel? What happened?" Tommy rode up to the car on his horse, looking around nervously. "Is that Y/N?!"

"He shot her!" Joel growled, reaching under the keys lying in the glove compartment and turning on the engine.

"Take her to Jackson! We'll take care of the rest!"

The car started off with a screech. Ellie dug out the first aid kit from under the seat and pulled out a bandage, the same one you gave Joel a while ago. She leaned over, pressing it against your side, you groaned loudly in pain.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she stuttered quickly, but didn't stop pressing.

"What the fuck were you doing there?!" Joel snapped, throwing a quick look at you. "You were supposed to stay in Jackson!"

"Leave it." you groaned. "She's fine..."

"Yeah, but you're pouring blood on the passenger seat!"

The car jumped on the bumps in the road and your scream of pain filled the interior. Joel didn't say a word, focusing on the road. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that he was surprised it hadn't broken yet.

When he saw the gates of the town, he blinked his lights a few times and the doors opened, letting him inside so that he didn't even have to slow down much. The car stopped only in front of the clinic.

"Y/N?"

"I'm fine." you replied, although your eyes closed every now and then.

Doc was surprised when the clinic doors opened with a bang and Joel stood there with you helpless in his arms.

"Help her."

That was all he could say. Doc pointed to the bed, then quickly rolled up your shirt. You groaned and writhed in pain. His fingers touched your bleeding wound, trying to determine its size.

"I think it missed the most important organs." Doc muttered after a moment. "But I'll have to open it and pull the bullet out."

The door opened again and Ellie went inside. The sight must have been terrible, because the girl's face was pale as snow and she barely managed to mumble:

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Run for Mrs. Waltz!" Doc ordered her quickly. "I need help!"

The girl nodded and quickly ran out of the building. Doc went to the cabinet, starting to prepare the tools for the surgery.

"Joel..."

Your voice was weak, but he reacted instantly. He grabbed your blood-stained hand, and with the other he stroked your hair.

"It's okay, baby. You're safe." He said, feeling something stab painfully into his heart, and his mind screaming that he was lying to himself "I know it hurts. But it's gonna be okay, Doc will help you."

"I'm not scared, Joel..." your voice was barely audible. "I'm with you, I'm not scared..."

When you closed your eyes, time stopped.

The sink was full of red-tinged water. He stared at it as if hypnotized. The steamy bathroom was silent and the silence was in his head too. He just stared at something that used to be a part of you.

If someone ever asked him what happened after Doc made the decision to operate, Joel wouldn't be able to recall that moment. Everything was like a fog.

He knew he was sitting in the waiting room completely frozen, staring at his bloody hands. He didn't notice Ellie sitting on the other side of the room with her legs pulled up on the chair, as quiet as ever.

He didn't remember Tommy, who had appeared out of breath with the information that only the man Joel wanted to beat had survived.

He just sat there feeling that if he heard bad news, what was left of his heart would shatter into a thousand pieces.

After more than an hour, Doc appeared. His apron was covered in your blood too. He spoke strange words, Joel wasn't sure if he even understood them.

"Is she alive?" he asked finally.

"Yes, she is." Doc nodded. "Her body is very weak, but she is alive. You brought her in at the last moment, Joel. You saved her."

But he didn't feel it. He saw you through the open door, lying unconscious in the bed, and tears came to his eyes. Doc patted him on the shoulder, suggesting that he go home, wash up, and rest. There was nothing more he could do for you.

Joel put on clean clothes and then simply fell onto the bed and fell asleep in an instant. He had no dreams. He didn't even know how long he had been asleep. The weak, slowly setting sun filled his bedroom and for a moment he even forgot about everything that had happened the previous night. He came to the conclusion that he must have slept the whole day.

Ellie didn't wake him up, though. She left him a meal on the table before she left the house.

He found her some time later in the clinic.

"Hi." she said quietly, dipped a cloth in a bowl of water..

"What are you doing?" he asked, approaching the bed.

"I couldn't look at how dirty she was." the girl replied, wiping your hands with the cloth. "Doc said she had a good night. He gave her antibiotics just in case. But he thinks she'll be okay."

Joel nodded. It all seemed simply unreal to him. He guessed that Ellie felt guilty. If it weren't for her reckless behavior, you wouldn't be lying unconscious now. So she did what she could. He noticed a small bouquet of the last wildflowers on the table, she had to pick them for you.

"Joel, I didn't want her to get hurt..." the girl's voice was trembling. "I was stupid, I know that. Y/N just wanted to stop me. She didn't want anything to happen to me..."

"Yeah, I know that." he replied, even though he wanted to spill everything that was on his mind at that moment to Ellie "She'll feel better soon, you'll see."

The girl nodded and rubbed her reddened eyes with her hand. 

"Go get some rest." He mumbled, approaching her and placing his hand on her shoulder. "I'll finish this for you."

She nodded again. She squeezed your hand one more time and left, leaving him alone.

Joel sat down in her place, soaked a cloth in warm water and looked at your face. You looked like you were sleeping, and in reality, you must have been. The medication Doc gave you must have been pretty strong.

"Hi." He greeted you quietly and reached for your hand.

It was a wonderful feeling to feel your warm skin in his hand. He kissed the back of it. A sense of guilt grew in his heart. He wanted to protect you from all the evil in the world so much, and now you were lying unconscious when they had barely torn you from the clutches of death.

He felt guilty for everything and what had led to this situation. When he lied to you the first time and when he had tried so clumsily to get you back when you were on edge not knowing what to do. All his actions and decisions had led to this. He was devastated, tired and didn't know what to do next.

He adored you like this and in such moments. Totally drunk on him. Your body was subservient to his pressure and touch. His cock buried deep inside you, sweet moans leaving your lips with every exhale.

Your fingers intertwined above your head, his face hidden close to your neck. You felt his breath on your skin, so hot that it almost burned you.

"I'm so close..." you moaned, feeling his every thrust clearly "Joel, please..."

"What are you asking for, love? Tell me..."

His voice was so quiet and calm. He had been fucking you for a long time, he had given himself time to play with you, like a predator with its prey. You had already come twice and your body was sensitive to his every move and touch.

"Let me... I can't take it anymore, I want to come..." you replied, feeling his lips gently sucking the skin on your neck "You're torturing me."

"Me?" he laughed quietly "Oh, honey... I guess you didn't see yourself. So beautiful, and just mine..."

"Too much whiskey, Joel!" you laughed "A little more and I'll think you've fallen in love with me!"

Your gazes met. His beautiful brown eyes stared at you as if he wanted to tell you something. But his lips refused to obey him. Or maybe you didn't want to hear it? Such things were not reasonable in QZ.

Of course, there were families in Boston, but it wasn't the same as many years ago. There was little laughter on the streets or couples walking hand in hand. Feelings were carefully hidden within the four walls of rooms. They were safe there.

So it was better not to name anything. Live day by day, enjoy what you had. You knew that you were close to him, that he wanted to protect you and take care of you. You did the same to him. It felt good, it felt safe.

His hips moved, and his cock hit exactly the place you needed. You closed your eyes and bit your lip, sighing quietly.

"Joel?"

"Yeah, baby..."

"Joel?" your voice was so quiet and calm "Joel..."

Something strange was happening. He could feel it on himself. A strange feeling like something was moving through his hair, slowly and gently. Joel opened his sleepy eyes.

"Hi."

Your voice was weak and barely audible, but it was yours. He could see your lips moving, familiar eyes looking at him with concern. It was your hand stroking his hair.

"Hi, baby." he replied, lifting his head from his arms that were lying on your bed. "I must have fallen asleep."

"I should say your snoring woke me up."

"How are you feeling?" Joel took your hand tenderly and kissed it. "I'll call Doc."

"I’m fine. How's Ellie?"

"She's okay, although she was worried about you. I had to throw her out of here because she would have been sitting here all day."

"Oh, I see." you smiled weakly. "And no one told you to leave?"

"They wouldn't have made it."

"Mhm. Joel? Thank you." You saw him frown in surprise "Thank you. I'm alive thanks to you."

"Don't say that." He shook his head "You would have survived, you're strong. The strongest person I know."

"Oh, yeah!" You laughed quietly "I would have crawled to the car and operated on myself with a pocket knife." You squeezed his hand tighter "I really thank you, Joel."

He smiled, his face brightening.

[epilogue]

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[cowboyfromh3ll]

Heyyy there💖 First off i’d just like to say how obsessed i am with your fics🥹 they are perfect and you really nail the characters perfectly so here’s my request if you don’t mind:

Could i request an angsty fic with Arthur where he and the reader used to be together when they were teenagers and they joined the gang together but the reader left after a few years because she has such an innocent personality (kind of like Mary-Beth) and she just didn’t want to live in the gang with criminals so when she leaves she breaks Arthur’s heart. But they stumble into each other in Valentine (where she works as a waitress) when Arthur, Javier, Charles and Bill go to the saloon. At first their interaction goes very good until that fight breaks out where Arthur beats Tommy, after that the reader is in tears because she hates violence so she storms off behind the saloon but Arthur follows her and it’s there where they start arguing and throwing insults where the reader says that she left cause she didn’t wanna be associated with criminals so Arthur calls her naive and is extra mean to her because he can’t hold all his built up anger and judgment towards her decision to leave him anymore. When he returns to camp that night he can’t stop thinking about their heated interaction so he returns to Valentine to find her and apologise for his rough words.

Sorry for this extra long request but i just love how perfect and detailed your fics are so i knew you would be the best to turn to for this request😊🫶🏻

All We Ever Wanted Was Everything

(Arthur Morgan x Ex!Fem!Reader Angst/Fluff)

No smut sorry didn't feel like adding it, also thank u so much ur compliments mean so much to me 😭

Warnings: arguing, depictions of violence, blood

Intimacy is the art of licking wounds. And the way Arthur loved was akin to the way a dog nurses an open wound, laving tongue and bared teeth and all. The truth was, Arthur longed to be loved so much that it made him sick. The smallest gesture of affection would bring a lump to his throat, and when he would inevitably fall into his grave, it would seep with all the longing he’s ever done. But like a dog, he dangles on his leash; and his need grows teeth. There are teeth marks on everything Arthur has ever loved.

Valentine was bleak, but it still maintained that hustle and bustle of a well-oiled machine. The town saw the daily passage of horse drawn carriages and hard working folks. Though everyone seemed to be there unwillingly, as though they had nowhere else to go; as though this was the only option they had. Such was the case for Arthur. He found himself left with no choice but to acquaint himself with the people of Valentine as the gang moved further east. The main road down Valentine had taken on the pungent weight of horse manure and wet earth. Arthur’s heavy leather boots stomped through mud, leaving deep, smeared imprints that proved he had been there. They traced him all the way towards the saloon, where he so ungracefully tracked more mud up the wooden steps and inside the establishment. He heard Javier’s voice call out distantly from inside.

He pushed open the dusty wooden doors of the saloon, the hinges groaning and squeaking as it let in another customer (it seemed even the furniture was equally as weary as the townspeople). The poignant scent of sweat, body odor, and what could otherwise simply be described as testosterone hung lowly amidst herds of inebriated men. The low hum of chatter and the lively playing of piano was nearly drowned out by Javier’s obnoxious hollering. He eyed the ox skull hanging decoratively on the wooden pillar ahead of him, as well as the dull, peeling wallpaper. The place was kempt, but just barely. Similar to the town outside, with folks just as tired and hard working coming through here. He approached Javier and Charles at the bar, who were accompanied by two women. Even with their backs turned to him, Arthur could tell they were escorts. With one of them having an off the shoulder blouse, a beguiling attempt at appearing more enticing; her burnt orange hair tied lowly into a bun that rested just above a black choker. Her counterpart was of a darker complexion, and she sported a floral top with a singular black braid cascading down her right shoulder; they both wore long purple skirts. Arthur sneered. ‘Unbelievable’ he thought to himself.

“Oh, Arthur!” Javier looked surprised to see him, his enthusiasm suggesting ulterior motives. Javier was not yet reeling drunk, but he was working on it (Arthur could tell the moment he saw the group raising shots together when he walked in).

“Arthur, Arthur, come here, come here, come over here” Javier pulled Arthur in by his shoulder, the rest of the group turning to face him. Wordlessly, he looked at Charles and gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

“I want you to meet our new friends.” Javier added.

Arthur looked utterly unimpressed by Charles and Javier’s ‘friends’. Arthur stood to the side, eyeing the women up and down, the ginger one busty, exhibiting her cleavage almost proudly. He could tell the two men were here for a lay. Though perhaps, he supposed they were fulfilling their duty of acquainting themselves with the townspeople after all.

“Pleased to meet you.” Arthur greeted flatly, nodding his head.

“Well ain't you just the tough as teak mountain man.” One of the women teased coyly.

“Oh, you be quiet, Anastasia! Anyone can tell this one is a pussy cat!” The other one added.

Javier seemed to butt in overzealously.

“Exactly, yes he’s a pussy…cat. Ain't that so Arthur?” Javier seemed entranced by these women, his judgement clouded by lust. Arthur thought it only bothersome. Charles said nothing the whole time, but Arthur knew he was just as enraptured as Javier was; spanning one of his hands behind one of the women's backs.

“Whatever you say.” Arthur murmured. “How much you cost anyway?”

The women looked at him scornfully.

“Well ain’t that a nice way to talk to a lady?” One of them said sarcastically. Javier and Charles looked on awkwardly, unsure of how to aid the situation.

“Oh, I didn’t know I was talking to a lady.” Arthur put emphasis on lady, even stepping forward to punctuate his sarcasm. That seemed to be the last straw, as the two women excused themselves and walked elsewhere, their unwillingness to stick around any longer suggesting that years in their business had diminished their tolerance for such derision. Javier and Charles looked on in disappointment, watching as the objects of their desires made themselves scarce.

“Well, I must say, you got a fine way with the women amigo…” Javier sighed in defeat, retreating back to the bar and leaning his elbows on the counter.

“Yeah, a regular and dandy charmer.” Arthur humored. He picked up one of the abandoned shots of whisky on the counter, throwing back the liquid and letting it simmer its way down his gullet. He cleared his throat, not expecting it to be quite so potent. Valentine's saloon didn’t feel quite as dismal as Arthur had expected, despite its appearance. Valentine had its fair share of shady gray alleyways and sordid, dodgy customers ducking in and out of low dark doorways, but the bar seemed lively enough.

“Is there anything else I can get you boys?” A strangely familiar voice called out. It was soft, but very sharp. It cut through Arthur’s tedious judgment like a serrated knife through butter. Pleasantly easy, but jarring. Arthur looked up, blinking away disbelief, as he beheld what he thought might’ve been a mirage in the middle of this stalemate of a town.

Arthur’s eyes squinted as he studied your face, noting with fondness the familiar way your eyes looked at him with a deep seated compassion. Your hair seemed to float around you almost angelically, the wispy ends of your hair illuminated by the gentle lighting coming in from the saloon windows— making it appear as though you were materializing from a dream. But when the hardness of your silhouette came into focus, you proved to be very real. Your hands maintained the same gentleness they had years ago. Your skin had matured wonderfully into a sophisticated womanhood. You had matured wonderfully. Arthur could still see teeth marks all over you.

“(Name)?” Arthur whispered. He watched the way your face hardened with realization before melting into a warm smile.

“Arthur?” You breathed, tightening your fists and digging your nails into your palm as if it would wake you up from this dream-like sequence. Charles and Javier looked at each other knowingly, a silent agreement between the two of them to move away from the obviously intimate scene. Arthur barely took notice of their absence; he was too entranced by the sight before him.

“Oh my god…” Your disbelief turned into happiness, your gasps turning into airy laughs. “How long has it been?” You exclaimed, becoming suddenly very excited. Part of you wanted to jump over the counter and pat Arthur down, unable to fathom that this was really him. Out of some sort of second instinct, you placed your hand over his, as if touching him would ground you in reality. He flinched, but he did not move his hand away, rather, he felt a sprinkling of butterflies in his stomach. Unlike yours, his hands had a new roughness to them, decorated with scars and calluses. These hands held stories; memories.

“How have you been?” You asked, feeling the faint but familiar feeling of tears well up in your eyes. Arthur was bashful, you could tell from the way he was hiding his face with his hat, not quite capable of looking you in the eye again.

“I’ve been just fine.” He smiled politely and nodded, fully taking your hand into his and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. There was a shakiness in the way he did this; you felt his hands tremble softly. In another act of familiarity, you placed your other hand over his, cupping his own fully. There was a noticeable tension in you as you contemplated your next question.

“You still ride with…uh…” You did not complete your sentence. Both of you knew you didn’t need to. He nodded in response, his smile hardening.

“Yes, still do.”

“Well… it’s good to hear you’re doing good Arthur.” You smiled. The two of you exchanged committal half smiles, not yet letting go of one another’s hands. You seemed to study each other for a moment, and despite customers calling for you, Arthur did not want you to go. And you seemed in no hurry to go either.

You shook your head gently in contemplation.

“Arthur, I… I’ve missed—”

In the not so far off distance, you listened, then watched, as two men bumped into each other. Your stomach dropped in fear as you watched the bigger of the two head-butt the other man, knocking him into a table occupied by patrons. Your hands tightened around Arthur’s as you heard a bottle break, and in a split second, the hammer dropped; the entire bar dissolving into a brawl. All around you, fists began flying and chairs were picked up, as men knocked into eachothers and swung in their clumsy, drunken haze. The testosterone in this saloon alone was nearly tangible. You looked to your left and watched the few women there flee out the back door. With Arthur’s hand still in your own, you began walking towards the back, half expecting him to come along with you.

But to no one’s surprise, and to your disappointment, you watched as he turned his back and threw himself headfirst into the fight. As the only woman there now, you felt safest behind the bar. You feared that if you stepped out, you’d be caught in someone’s flurry of fighting. You backed into the mahogany cases of liquor behind you, feeling the way the bottles vibrated and shook with the far off slamming of bodies against the floor. Your eyes remained fixated on Arthur, and you felt your blood run cold when you saw a man come at him, putting his entire body weight into swinging at him.

His name caught in your throat, but it quickly died down when Arthur dodged the punch, stepping to the side before landing a flurry of punches to the man, kicking him away with his boot. You watched in morbid mesmerization as Arthur continued to fight the man, the fight bordering on unfair as Arthur easily out did the man with skill born of experience. His face was already beginning to bruise a nasty red and deep purple after each punch he took, but Arthur never faltered. Eventually, he knocked the man out cold against a chair, and relentlessly, Arthur moved onto the next. He headed to a group of three men this time, seemingly on his way to help his friend; the same man who started this entire fight.

Arthur’s determination seemed to be helping his friends out of losing fights; it appeared this was something he was used to. Like it was just another daily occurrence for him. But to you, this senseless fighting had no other meaning than to prove who could punch harder.

“What the hell is going on down here?!” Another burling man came stomping down the stairs, his ego just as big as he was, it seemed. Only a man with an inflated sense of self would insert himself into this mess, you thought. You ducked behind the counter, but peered over just enough so that you could see what was going on. You looked to your left, briefly, and saw another one of Arthur’s companions fighting a man. Another man pleaded with this “Tommy” to not involve himself. Your throat became dry as you saw him, with ease, knock back Arthur’s other friend.

Arthur tried to approach Tommy and Javier, but was promptly jumped by another man who wrapped his arm around his neck from behind. Arthur had to continually jab his elbow into the man in order to get him off, the struggle ensuing for excruciatingly long. As soon as Arthur threw him off, he made sure to turn around and land a punch in his jugular, knocking him out. Arthur’s fighting would’ve impressed you, if not for the fact you were terrified.

“Javier could use some help, Morgan!” Bill called out from across the bar.

You watched in terror as Arthur confidently, and calmly, sauntered up behind Tommy, who was ruthlessly slamming Javier into a table over and over, before landing a punch behind Tommy’s head. The impact barely seemed to phase Tommy, before he calmly turned around and punched Arthur across the jaw. The sound of fist meeting flesh made you squirm, especially when it was Arthur’s. You nearly shrieked as you watched Tommy grapple Arthur’s shoulders brutishly before throwing him over the same table. His body tumbled over the surface before landing on the floor with a grunt and a thud. To add insult to injury (and even more injury), Tommy walked around the table and picked Arthur up off the floor once again, before sending his body crashing through the saloon window.

“Oh my god!” You screamed, not caring for your own safety anymore as you followed the scene outside.

Arthur crashed through the glass, gaining new cuts and bruises as he rolled off the wooden porch and onto the mud. He skid across the earth, smothering his jacket and pants with filth. He stood wearily, taking notice of the crowd forming around them. Cold rain poured down on him, only making the surface beneath him even more slippery.

“Come on, pretty boy.” Tommy’s voice was gravelly as he marched down the wooden steps, a parallel to the way Arthur had marched up them earlier.

“Pretty boy? You’re kidding me. Pretty boy?” At this point, Arthur wasn’t sure why he was fighting. To not die, he supposed. He could’ve stepped away at an earlier point, but pride did not allow him to. Now he was stuck in this. The two sized each other up as they got into fighting stances, then Tommy stepped forward and grabbed Arthur’s neck, throwing him to the side.

You heard a cacophony of horrified screams, disapproving howls, and cheers for either Tommy or Arthur. You saw the rage sizzling in Arthur, and felt a combination of pity, horror, and disappointment. It’d been so many years since you last saw him, so many you had lost count, and this was the first time you had seen him since then. The only thing that had changed was how his eyes and hands had hardened. And suddenly, the calluses and cuts on his knuckles that you had seen earlier seemed to explain themselves.

For a moment, Tommy seemed to have gotten the upper hand on Arthur, and you feared the worst. You weren’t sure how far this would go, but your body flinched with each punch you saw Arthur tank. But against all odds, Arthur clambered on top of Tommy.

A smattering of blood and mud smeared all over Arthur’s face, he grunted with each brutal punch he landed onto Tommy’s head. He felt Tommy claw at the thick leather of his jacket, attempting to shove his face away, but Arthur persisted. Arthur got some sort of wretched exultation out of watching the way Tommy’s face turned into one of helplessness. His body thrashed and his limbs flailed as Arthur continued to strike his head, the skin breaking and bleeding from the repeated impact.

Arthur grit his teeth so hard he swore a tooth nearly cracked. He had tuned out the cheering surrounding him, an uninterrupted ringing replacing any other discernible sounds. The only thing he could focus on was the way he would slam his fist, over and over into Tommy’s head, as if in hypnosis. The man below him was a pitiful, bloody pulp; reaching his arms up as if he were begging for some unlikely act of mercy. But Arthur would punch again, and again, and again…

“Stop! Stop! Please!” You watched as Mr. Downes bravely stepped forward, pleading desperately with Arthur to stop. Arthur raised his fist, but did not connect it, instead looking at Mr. Downes. Arthur and Mr. Downes exchanged a few more words before Arthur pushed past him, covered in mud and all, limping away from the scene and pushing past people.

He caught sight of you looking on tearfully, and the gravity of what he had just done crashed down on him all at once when you turned your back and scurried down the alley besides the saloon. Arthur abandoned any resolve he had and followed you. You heard the rugged breathing and heavy footsteps behind you, which only terrified and spurred you on to run deeper into the alley. You turned the corner, back pressed against the rear wall of the saloon. You held your breath, and for a terrifying few seconds, heard the footsteps approaching. As if it were some sort of deliberate jump scare, you yelped when Arthur turned the corner and faced you. Normally you’d find the mud revolting, but now it served to scare you. It made Arthur seem all the more savage, traces of seething rage still present in his eyes. His hair was wild, face bruised and beaten; his blood mixed with mud and smeared his face in a grim unfamiliarity. He took a step towards you, and you flinched, trying to back away but you could not; you could only shuffle to the side.

At once, Arthur was overcome with an unfathomable sense of self hatred and disgust upon seeing the fear present in your face. He felt sickened with himself, and was given a moment of clarity as he looked down at his dirtied hands, his mud smeared clothes, his bruises and bleeding knuckles. Arthur saw his reflection in the window next to you, the person staring back at him unfamiliar, yet startlingly recognizable all the same.

“(Name)—”

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!”

Arthur’s eyes began stinging, a deep pang hitting his chest. His shoulders slumped and his body sagged, contracting your squared and tensed shoulders, your arms lifted and crossed over your chest protectively.

“You… You… I… I thought maybe you might’ve changed! But you proved me wrong.” You were sobbing at this point, and you weren’t sure whether you were trembling from your anger or fear. Probably both. Arthur could not find the words to respond.

“How dare you! Come into our town, into our businesses, and start a fight! And beat on us like you own the place! You beat that man half to death! WHAT FOR?” Your body buzzed in anxiety, unable to hold in any more of your anger as you shook.

“(Name), he was going to kill Javier back there if I didn’t—”

“You’re an animal!”

Arthur seemed to forget himself once more, feeling rage upon being called an animal. But perhaps it was more than just being insulted. Perhaps it was years of hurt and heartbreak behind his words.

“You don’t know what you’re saying. Listen to yourself—.” He spat through grit teeth.

“Oh I know!” You huffed, lowering your arms now. “Which is exactly why I left in the first place. Why I left you.”

You both felt that one, Arthur the most. The sting was reminiscent of being stabbed in the chest. He turned his sadness to anger, fueling the burning flame inside his chest. It kept him going.

“You left what we had, the good thing that we had, so that you could come and work at some dead end town? Is this really the life you want? Is your way of living any better than what we do?”

“I live a good honest life now!”

“You’re just a naive girl who doesn’t know that sometimes, this is all we got. Some of us don’t have the luxury of being able to just turn away and start anew. For some of us, we only have each other!”

You were enraged at this point, enough to let your guard down and walk up directly in front of him, sizing him up almost.

“I’d rather die working than live my life as a despicable criminal living with a lowdown gang constantly on the run. If that’s your idea of a life, then good god Mister Morgan, I pity you.” Your every word dripped with venom. And you made sure Arthur felt every bit of it, even going as far as to jab your finger in his chest.

“You’re a brat.” He growled. “You seem to forget where you come from. You were once a part of the gang, you went through exactly what I went through and you knew what it was like. And now you wanna act like you’re better than me? Like you’re above me?” He looked back down at you with malice, a hidden layer of hurt and sadness just beneath the surface. He looked somewhere between a kicked puppy and a crazed, rabid dog who’d been rolling in mud.

You said nothing in return, instead falling into some sort of stare off. He looked at you expectantly, but did not anticipate an answer. It was as if by looking into your eyes or expression, he could catch a slight change in your expression that indicated, just maybe, that you did not mean what you were saying. That this was all some adrenaline fueled attack on him after having watched him savagely beat a man. But even he could realize the irony in that line of thought.

But not once did your face soften, or look away from him in a show of discomfort or even intimidation. You stood your ground, heels firmly planted on the mud beneath you both.

Wordlessly, but with a grunt, Arthur moved past you, his arm brushing past and saturating some of your skin and clothes with mud. Arthur grumbled lowly to himself as every fiber in his body urged him to turn around and look at you one last time, to throw himself at your feet and ask if you really meant what you said, but his pride did not allow him.

Even as Dutch spoke to him at the front of the shop, his ears ringed and obstructed any other words from entering and being processed (He hadn’t even questioned Dutch’s sudden appearance with Trelawny). Arthur seemed to look past anyone who spoke to him, only nodding in response when they asked “are you listening?”. It was only when he was able to dunk himself in a nearby barrel of water, did the striking coldness snap him back to reality; the gritty veil over his consciousness being washed away.

The ride back towards camp was a gap in Arthur’s memory. He fell back into a pit of thought that tunneled his vision once again. He was all at once, keenly and uncomfortably aware of every sound and movement around him, but he could not be bothered to give it any thought. The shockwave of impact that traveled up through his body as he got off of his horse rather clumsily did not shake him from his pensive state. He wearily returned the greetings that people sent his way, not in the mood to entertain any sort of conversation with anyone. Arthur wanted nothing more now, than to rest his sore and aching muscles. He changed out of his caked, filthy clothes and changed into his union suit, the clean fabric feeling angelic in comparison to the squalid state of his clothes. His joints began to throb suddenly, as if the pain was triggered at once by laying on his cot, which suddenly seemed to sky rocket in comfortability. A deep ache settled into his side; the side he had landed on after being thrown.

His bed echoed his groan as he rested his weight on it, a large sigh leaving him as pain settled into every cell of his body. His exhaustion overtook him as he slid his eyes shut; his head hitting his pillow like there was a weight tied around his neck. Every bit of his being screamed for sleep, but his racing mind would not allow rest. He thought of you: the terrified look in your eyes after he followed you behind the saloon, the way you looked akin to a wild, injured animal backed up into a corner. He was sure he looked the same.

His bodily aches were accompanied by the pang in his chest as he remembered your heavy words. He squeezed his eyes in an attempt to prevent tears from surfacing, but the pressures in his nasal passages proved to be too much. He turned his back away from camp so that no one could see just how pathetic he looked.

The insults on him, his gang, his way of life. They were all too much to bear. He did not anticipate seeing you at all. He looked back regretfully on how the sweet encounter had turned so sour so quickly; part of him blamed Bill. He could at least find solace in the fact that you had missed him after all these years. As he did. Though he had had women since then, he never did quite forget about you. A boy never forgets his first love. And now that he was a man, those feelings amplified, and he knew it had been more than just puppy love. Part of him could not understand your rejection of the lifestyle. When you initially left the gang, and Arthur by proxy, you explained you could not withstand the violence and bloodshed, but that you respected and understood that this was his way of life, the only way of life he had known, even before he met you and joined the gang. But with the way he had heard you speak so lowly of the gang, he could not understand where all your compassion had gone, especially since you had been part of it.

Part of him still held onto a childlike sense of anger, feeling as though you wronged him in leaving him. But he could at least understand why you decided to up and leave. Perhaps his own judgment of your life had been harsh. You weren’t wrong in saying you lived an honest life, objectively it was better than his. You got to live freely without fear of the law, you made honest clean money, and as far as he knew, you only had yourself to support with the money you made. Arthur hadn’t even considered the possibility you were seeing someone, his stomach dropping at the thought. He was guilt ridden and anxious, nauseated by the thoughts. His temporary solution would be falling asleep to quell it.

When Arthur awoke, it was nighttime. The sun had set, the sky tinged with dark purple that faded into night. Most of the activity around camp had calmed, but many people were still awake. Arthur stood at once, bee lining towards his horse. He ignored any gang members that attempted to come forth and ask him if he was okay, where he was going. Wordlessly, he mounted his horse and spurred it on, riding back towards Valentine.

Perhaps it was unwise to go back into town so soon after raising hell there. But Arthur couldn’t care less. His objective at the moment was to see you. And he hoped to god you’d still be at the saloon. His heart thrummed in time with his horses running, and he began to pant as if he was the one doing the physical activity. Perhaps it was the anxiety that made him so short of breath.

He saw the promising glow of Valentine as he approached the small town, pulling on his horse's reins to try and slow down. His horse trotted down the streets of now dried earth, the prints of shoes and wheels having dried up into casts. He cringed internally when he saw the still broken window of the saloon, the glass having been cleaned up long ago. Luckily for him though, the lights of the saloon were on, and he heard the same lively piano from before. From the outside, it was almost as if nothing had ever happened, but he knew that as soon as he stepped inside, all heads would turn in his direction and stare him down. Arthur was used to looks, he would pay it no mind. But it was the thought of you sending him a disgusted look his way that had his head spinning in apprehensiveness.

Arthur was not a man who was scared of confrontation, and when it came to violence, he was best at letting his fists speak for him. But for more emotional matters, he sounded as eloquent as a child learning how to read for the first time. He would get stuck on using the right combination of words, and would opt towards not saying much at all. But this was something he wanted, and he knew that if was going to ask for your forgiveness, he’d have to put effort into sounding decent.

The hinges of the saloon doors creaked, and as Arthur expected, the volume level of the saloon lowered, the lively chatter dissolving into whispers and grumbles of threats. He looked over towards the bar to see if coming here had been worth his time. And there you were, standing in your confused, and frankly appalled, glory. You were wiping down a glass, continuing for a moment too long as you stared at him.

You had not expected to see him back here, grimacing at the tender purple skin of his cheek. Part of you felt pity, but it was replaced by indifference as you remembered he brought the injuries onto himself. As he began walking towards you, you slammed the glass down on the counter with a sigh and rolled your eyes. The sudden slam startling, but not fully waking, the passed out patron slumped against the counter.

“What are you doing here.” You asked, hand on your hip. It came out as less of a question and more as a statement professing your annoyance. Arthur leaned on the counter, moving his head to the side so he could look anywhere but at you as he attempted to find the right words to start off with. He opened and closed his mouth, and you were beginning to get impatient.

“I’m sorry…”

You were about to demand Arthur either leave or speak up, until you heard his meek apology. You felt your facial muscles relax from the scowl you had held for so long.

“What?” You asked in disbelief.

Arthur fidgeted where he stood, occupying himself by drumming his fingers along the counter. You lowered your arms to your side, fidgeting as well.

“I’m sorry too.”

A moment of awkward silence hung over the two of you before you grabbed his hand; bruised and callused, taken into soft and gentle. You pursed your lips in a half hearted smile before nodding your head towards the stairs. Before Arthur could even understand what you were implying, you were leading him past the bar counter and up the stairs towards a private room.

“What do we need this for? I just wanted to apologize…”

“I know. I just didn’t want my patrons hearing, y’know…” You laughed awkwardly. “A little privacy is nice, they don’t exactly keep their noses to themselves.” You fumbled with your keys, a sweat forming on the back of your neck as you struggled to jam the key into the lock before turning it. Arthur found it rather suggestive, but he decided to move along anyway. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have the hots for you anymore.

The two of you stiffly scooted over towards the bed; first you, then him, the bed dipping significantly from his weight. The sudden dip caused you to bump into his arm, which neither of you wanted to acknowledge outright. Your thighs rubbed against each other, and at last, you were able to see side by side how much Arthur had grown since you last saw him. Seeing the way he dwarfed you tugged at your heart strings.

“Oh, Arthur… How I’ve missed you… I’m so sorry for saying all those nasty things. And I know it’s no excuse but I was scared and… I felt a little betrayed that you had gone off to fight instead of… coming with me.”

Arthur nodded as you spoke, processing each word.

“And I know I shouldn’t have expected that. They’re your gang afterall, they’re your family. And I don’t think you’re all lowdown, or any of those nasty things I said.” You were gripping Arthur’s arm by now, as if holding onto him at that moment might better help him understand and accept your apology.

“I know sweetheart, I know.” He began. “I’m a fool and fighting’s all I know. It’s all I’ve ever known. I ain’t the smartest… but…” Arthur seemed to lose his train of thought, physically pained by his own mental fumbling. “I’m just trying to say that I’m sorry. I especially don’t have any right to judge your lifestyle.”

It was your turn to nod, slowly breaking into a smile.

“I’m glad you came.”

“I wanted to see you.”

The two of you slowly began to intertwine hands, shyly at first, until you fully sent it and gripped his fully. You felt his arm go tense against you as he looked back and forth from where you two conjoined to your face. The tension in the air had a nostalgic feel to it. It brought you back to all those years ago when you and Arthur had first gotten together. You were so young then. Holding hands also allowed you to feel the size difference, causing the both of you to blush.

“You’ve uh… really grown.” You giggled together. “I mean, you always were much larger than me but my my…”

Arthur nodded, looking down at the noticeable differences between you.

“Yeah, I always did love giving you piggy back rides.” He added. The recalling of the juvenile memory had you laughing even more.

“Oh, how I missed those! And you were always so helpful. Could be really helpful to have you around the saloon, can intimidate some guys away like you did for me when we were younger.”

“Gladly will, sweetheart.”

As the laughter died down, you hesitantly leaned upwards, looking for a sign to stop on his face. Though with more hesitation, you abstained from kissing him.

That is, until he went ahead and did it himself. He let go of your hand so he could cup your face, using the other arm to wrap around your waist and hold you close, as though you might disappear if he didn’t. Your lips molded perfectly against one another. It felt like the reunion of lips that should’ve always been together. And even though you had attempted to peel away from Arthur for so long, the meeting was like two sides of a wound finally mending back together.

The muffled chatter of the downstairs saloon was drowned out by your and his heavy breathing. You pushed your own lips hard against his teeth, gripping the downy tuft of hair at the base of his neck. He was taken aback by your enthusiasm but returned it nonetheless. The men you had had in Arthur’s absence were insipid compared to his passionate kisses. The two of you idly palmed and groped each other, the same tenderness as when you two were younger, but with the renewed passion of lovers long separated, finally reuniting with a more carnal desire.

Memories come in waves, and tonight, you were drowning.

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PHEW this took me days, I can finally work on all my other requests. Thanks for being patient y'all

.

All We Ever Wanted Was Everything - Bauhaus

[runnning-outof-time]

What Do You Regret? | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: yes by @cillmequick

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Tommy and (Y/N) talk about some regrets in life over a drink and a quiet moment at the Garrison. When (Y/N) suddenly brings up the topic of 'them’, she gets a pretty interesting response.

Warnings: language, smoking, drinking

Word Count: 2252

A/N: well I surprised myself with this one by writing it in one day after not writing for a few days…I hope it makes sense. The prompt I was given by the lovely Alex is italicized in the story. I have to say that I had a bunch of fun writing it. Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

"I figured you'd be here," (Y/N) said as she walked through the main doors of the Garrison. She immediately found Tommy, sitting at one of the tables in the middle of the empty room.

"Is someone looking for me?" Tommy asked, his eyebrows raised as he held his glass in his hand. It looked to be that he was about to take a drink from it, but stopped to talk instead.

"No," (Y/N) shook her head as she sat in the chair across from him, "I was just wondering where you'd gone off to...and took a lucky guess that you were here," she explained then.

"Someone's always been looking for me these past few weeks," he mumbled, still stuck on his previous train of thought as he finally took a drink from his glass.

"Well fear not...I was only wondering if you were ok..." she trailed off as she grabbed the bottle that he'd been drinking from and and the other empty glass on the table so that she could pour a drink for herself, "...if you were safe..." she continued, raising her eyebrows slightly as she looked over at him; bringing her glass up to her lips so that she could take a sip. "You had a second glass here...you weren't expecting someone, were you?" she decided to ask him.

"No. It's a habit," he brushed her off, shaking his head slightly as he set his glass down, exchanging it for the cigarette that had been smoldering in the ashtray. "What did you want, love?" he asked her after he exhaled a line of smoke.

"Nothing," (Y/N) answered simply, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"Nothing?" Tommy checked, his eyebrows raised. There was always something.

"Nothing at all," she doubled down on her answer, smiling over at him.

Tommy hummed in response, nodding his head as he took another drink from his glass. He kept his eyes on her, not saying anything as silence fell in the room.

"What, is it so unusual for me to wonder where the person I've been seeing is?" (Y/N) then bursted out with a question, unable to take the silence mixed with his gaze on her.

"I didn't say anything," he said to her, holding his hands up as he bit back a grin.

"Your eyes were saying it," she told him, trying, and failing, to keep a glare on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. He chuckled at her statement, shaking his head slightly as he took another drag from his cigarette before stamping it out in the ashtray.

Silence fell between them again. It was comfortable this time, and it made (Y/N) tip her head back to rest against the chair, allowing her to stare up at the ornate ceiling.

They sat like this for a few minutes until she spoke again, "what do you regret?" she asked as she lifted her head from the chair to look at him once more.

"What?" he asked, not because he hadn't heard her question, but rather because it had come out of nowhere.

"Do you regret anything you've done in the past?" she rephrased it for him, "like I regret the one time that I snuck out of my house at night to go and meet a boy that promised he'd meet me in the park, but when I got to the park I found him already with another girl. My parents found out about me not being in bed and when they asked, I told them that our elderly neighbor, Eloise, had needed me to help her with some stupid task," she then recounted a time that she regretted.

"Which part of it do you regret more?" Tommy was curious now.

"The boy...the lie didn't hurt anyone, and it was the only one that I'd ever told them. That boy though...it was hard going to school for a handful of days after it happened," she frowned at the memory before her eyes found his again, "so is there anything that you regret?" she then turned the question onto him.

There was a pause in the conversation as Tommy pursed his lips, making it look like he was thinking of any possible stories to share. "No," he said finally, the grin spreading across his lips being an almost dead giveaway that he wasn't being honest.

Seeing it made (Y/N)'s eyes widen, "Tommy!" she exclaimed as she sat forward in her chair, "you are lying right now!" she accused him, pointing to him then as she continued, "it's clear on your face!"

Caught in the act, he held his hands up in surrender, glancing over at her to see that she'd been trying to hold back her giggles. "Of course there's stuff that I regret," he said to her once their laughter had died down.

"Like what?" Now it was her turn to be curious, and she leant forward to prop her chin up on her hand as she waited for him to, hopefully, tell a story.

He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, thinking of where to start as he busied himself with pulling another cigarette out of its tin. "I regret telling off my teacher," he started.

"You told off your teacher?" (Y/N) made him stop as she asked in shock, her eyes wide in surprise. She was a good student all throughout her schooling years, so it shocked her that anyone would do such a thing.

"Yeah," Tommy nodded before continuing, "she'd looked over my work and told me that it wasn't good enough; that I needed to add more substance to it, and I told her that maybe if she'd of been a 'better fucking teacher' that I would have been able to write more. She wrote me up and told me to go to the headmaster's office, and I ripped that up as well and told her to go to hell, so she kicked me out of the class."

"Tommy!" she exclaimed much like she had earlier, "that's terrible! What year were you in?"

"It was in primary school," he admitted.

"That's even worse!" she exclaimed, her jaw going slack as surprise overcame her. She couldn't stop the smile from forming on her lips and the giggles from bubbling up though. It was hard not to as she pictured a young Tommy doing this to the poor woman who had been tasked to teach him.

"I know..." he agreed with her, trying to hold back his smile as well, "that's why I regret it," he paused for a moment, placing the unlit cigarette he'd been holding between his lips before he made a motion with his hands. He grabbed his lighter and flicked it to life so that he could light the cigarette before continuing, "she'd only been trying to get something more out of me. I told her she was a shit teacher and then disregarded her authority when she was disciplining me. I fucking deserved all of it," he ended his statement by shaking his head as he laughed softly at the memory. He glanced over at (Y/N) then as he took a drag from his cigarette, seeing that she pursing her lips together tightly. "What?" he asked her, his eyebrows raised.

"Nothing," she brushed him off with a slight shake of her head.

"Nothing?" he asked, much like he did when she'd first come into the tavern.

"Nothing at all," she repeated the exact phrase she'd said to him earlier, the callback to it making him smirk as he shook his head softly. Silence fell between them for a moment then before (Y/N) decided to continue the conversation. "Is there anything else?" she asked him, looping them back around to their initial topic.

Tommy took a drag from his cigarette as he contemplated how to answer her. Of course there were things that he regretted doing...he just wasn't sure if he wanted to elaborate on them to her. "I've done a lot of shit over these past years...some things maybe I should have handled differently..."

"Like me?" (Y/N) asked a little too eagerly before he was able to finish his statement.

"What?" he asked her, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Like your relationship with me...like how you're going to go back to your estate once everything blows over with the vendetta here and I'm just going to be left here in Small Heath," she elaborated on her previous statement, her composure now more solemn in nature compared to what it was moments ago.

"(Y/N)..." was all Tommy was able to get out before she cut him off again.

"I'm sorry, I...I don't know why I just said any of that," she said, her words coming out in a frantically mumbled mess as she averted her eyes from his.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the blood from rushing to her face as she began feeling sheepish for even steering the conversation in that direction. She'd finally got him smiling; surely for the first time since he'd been back in Small Heath, where he's been stuck while he and his family fought out the vendetta between the Changrettas.

They found each other by happenstance - the details didn't matter - and they'd entered into a sort of a situationship rather quickly. Despite the nature of how they began seeing each other, (Y/N) felt closer to Tommy than she was anyone else, and Tommy had found that he could confide in (Y/N). For him, she was someone that he could see and talk to that was removed from the fighting going on all around him. And (Y/N) liked that he let his walls down around her.

But now things had gone to shit....all because she'd decided to ask an unneeded question. She couldn't even look at him because she was worried about what he'd say.

Tommy noticed this rather quickly. "Hey, look at me love," he said to her, his words prompting her to do as she was told. He held their gaze and took a deep breath, a serious expression forming on his face as he got ready to speak. "Nothing about any moment I've ever spent with you will ever be a regret, do you understand that?" He looked at her with raised eyebrows as he paused. (Y/N) was only able to nod her head, but it was enough of a response for Tommy to keep talking, "spending time with you has made being back here worth it. It's helped me so fucking much; having someone to confide in like I do with you. And I'm never going to regret it, so don't ever think that I will, eh?"

(Y/N) nodded again as she swallowed the lump in her throat. "I...I just thought that since being back here has brought on all of this other stuff, you'd hate every part of it," she told him her worries, her voice sounding much smaller now than it did before.

"You've thought wrong then, love...very wrong," he continued to dispel her thoughts. He glanced down at the glass that he'd been spinning with his fingers for a moment then, pursing his lips as he thought of how to say what he wanted to. "If anything, you should be regretting the time you've been spending with me," he finally said after a few moments passed, looking back at her once he was done speaking.

(Y/N)'s eyebrows furrowed together as she heard his statement, "now why would I do that?" she asked him, "I've enjoyed every second I've spent with you," she then concluded, speaking definitively now.

The left side of Tommy's lips quirked upwards in a smirk as he heard what she had to say. He brought his cigarette up and took one last drag from it before stamping it out in the ashtray. He then nodded his head at (Y/N) before mumbling "c'mere." She heard him loud and clear, and a smile formed on her face as she stood from her chair and moved over to where he was sitting. He waited until she was sitting comfortably on his lap before he spoke again, "y'know, maybe there is something I regret about you and I..." he trailed off, looking into her eyes as she sat inches away from him.

A slight expression of surprise formed on her face as she processed his words, and she searched his eyes for a moment before asking, "what?" She waited on bated breath for his answer, worried that this was where the other shoe was going to drop, and he was actually going to say that he did regret the two of them ever getting together. But then logic came back and she wondered why he'd admit this when they were sitting so close that they were able to feel each other's breath.

Tommy looked at her for a moment before answering, "I regret not meeting you sooner."

(Y/N)'s worries were quelled instantly with those six words, and she let out a shaky laugh before she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face close enough so that the tips of their noses were touching. "I think that's something I regret too," she admitted to him, a grin forming on her face before she closed the space between them and matched her lips with his.

Tagged: @mgcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @raincoffeeandfandoms @itscheybaby @gypsy-girl-08 @lora21 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @dragons-are-my-favorite @acewritesfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cilliansangel @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable

MASTERLIST

[sherry-cleo-salvadore]

I actually started watching 9-1-1 around the time Buck become canonically queer.

One of my online friends one day randomly texted me if I have watched the latest 9-1-1 episode - to which I replied no - she told me to watch the show because it's so good, and even I was looking for a new show to get hyperfixated on to get out of some previous hyperfixation.

I fell in love with the show since I started bawling my eyes out on that baby in the drain pipe emergency - the adrenaline rush of it made me stay and helped with my little depression phase in some ways.

Then I started falling in love with the characters, the style of writing, the chemistry in their found family, everything - became totally hyperfixated.

Saw Eddie Diaz in Season 2 and 🥵🔥 - found a new fictional crush and celebrity crush.

I fell in love with the relationships - Bathena, Madney, Henren - they looked so mature and healthy couples compared to more angsty overlty dramatic relationships in fiction that get written for audience viewership and not for the actual story.

And while looking up a YouTube clip of the bar flashback with Bobby, Chimney, Hen and Tommy because I found it funny how Chimney said he has no scars knowing about the rebar storyline written for his character's future and in the comment section got spoiled about Bi! Buck and Tommy becoming his eventual boyfriend.

But that spoiler didn't bother me, in fact it made me more excited to keep watching because while binge-watching it all together, it wasn't hard to forget Tommy as a character compared to when I would have watched the show on air basis - so his arc felt much more organic rather than out of nowhere to me at least. I was excited to see yet another healthy and mature relationship with like dramas that were more realistic than just marketing bullshit.

Reached the first kiss between Buck and Tommy and holy shit - one of the best on screen kisses - like I remember ranting to my friend how I was literally kicking my feet (Buck's Bi! arc was why she texted me out of excitement and urged me to watch the show) because wow and then as the relationship grew I was so happy for both the characters and their relationship - for Buck to finally get an endgame he deserves - a healthy mature relationship that just felt realistic and organic.

And yes I have also had problems with the show over its course but I was able to overlook them given how fixated I got with the characters and their relationships and the whole found family dynamic of it all.

Today - I just, I don't remember ever being so disappointed in a show - maybe the Game of Thrones finale? Idk - like yes that was disappointing but the show ended so I didn't bother with it much. But like - this is just so not it - I don't remember being this devastated by a fictional break up - it literally feels like I had a break up. So much so that a part of me just wants to stop watching the show - but I also can't because I am still invested in where Eddie's arc is going and when and how they are bringing Christopher back.

Maybe I am being a bit melodramatic about this but honestly it feels like a full circle, an invisible string of sorts for me as well, as how Buck and Tommy's kiss was how the universe in its way encouraged me to watch the show and today its the very reason for the first time I felt like I want to stop watching the show and have nothing to do with it.

Funny how the universe works.

[abbysbitch]

Piedmont | Ellie Williams (pt.1)

part one

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy, I seriously wasn't even expecting like 10 people to see the announce post but 200 notes? are you kidding? thank you all so much *kisses every one of your foreheads* i hope this lives up to the anticipation, i feel like i didn't do it justice but i dont wanna postpone anymore so have at it

cw: pet names (babe, baby, pretty girl, pretty thing, princess) the TINIEST smidge of a blood kink(reader bites her lip too hard), edging, fingering, cum eating(kinda?) slight angst, making out, prob more that i missed

wc: 4.1K

tags! @acecardly @dani-ellaed1 @sevignyes @nil-eena (if i missed you its because i couldn't find your handle when typing them in)

Ellies always hated you, for arguably no reason.

 It’s pathetic really, seems like since the day you guys have met she’s had it out for you- whether it be throwing snarky comments at you or just being an ass in general, it’s always been a competition between the two of you. It’s been years since you've had a somewhat civil conversation with her. 

Ellie was just an outright dick to you. Since the time you guys were sent on a mission over a year ago (just the two of you, which Ellie bitched about to Tommy for approximately an hour), she was just awful towards you.

You tried so hard to get her to like you but nothing seemed to work. During socials you’ve tried countless times to get her to engage in even a card game between you, Dina and Jesse and shes always declined. You’d go up and try to start a conversation one time and - to say the least when you went home you cried out of pure frustration.

You didn’t hate Ellie, just hated the way she hated you, for fucks sake you had a crush on her that you couldn’t seem to rid. But who could blame you when she had those gorgeous green eyes and auburn hair that just seemed to frame her face so perfectly when she put it up to get it out of the way. And her tattoo- you’re sure she's caught you staring before. Staring because of how bad you wanted her fingers inside you.

Especially with the way that she carried herself. Careless, and always with such a serious look on her face. Her sarcasm entertained you; of course only from afar. 

And god she was just so beautiful.

It hurt, knowing you couldn’t have done anything for her to like you. Not even just a little. Not even just enough to be acquaintances. You would’ve been at least happy with that.

So it seems like just your luck when Tommy asks another favor of you. And just your luck when he invites Ellie to ‘tag along’.

The air was cold, and the bone chilling tension between you two even colder. 

It was now around 6pm, and you had gone to the stables to tack up and get ready. Though you weren’t supposed to go out until 7, Ellie had already beat you there. Attempting to break said tension, you shakily start with “Make sure you tie her-”

“I know how to tack a fucking horse.”

Ouch

Obviously it didn’t help anything with the tension and unbeknownst to you it was going to stay that way for a while even as you left the gates of Jackson into the harsh winter of the outside.

You and Ellie keep on the path, looking for anything that was asked of Tommy to bring back. It’s only been 30 minutes of absolute silence and you’re starting to get mad with her stubbornness.What did you do to make her hate you so much? Nobody else seems to have a problem with you, so why does she? To be fair it didn’t matter before, but now that the two of you are in the middle of fucking nowhere and she’s not saying a word, it’s really getting to you.

Not being able to stand it any longer you decide to say something.

“What is your problem with me, Ellie?”

She turns to look at you for just a moment and then gazes back to the path in front of her. God, you just wanted to curl up and die of embarrassment. Of course she wasn’t going to say anything, because she didn’t care enough to have this conversation with you. 

Staying silent was the hard part of it all. So desperately did you just want to scream at her for everything she's been to you. She makes you feel like a fucking burden and, duh, it doesn’t feel good. At all.

So many more minutes pass by without a word. The air’s even colder by now, your watch showing the time as half past nine. Goosebumps have spread across your skin and your legs are shaking. Shivering was an understatement. It’s pitch black, making you even more on edge now than you were starting this little assignment. You decide to go off the path in search of a cabin you’ve been in before. For some reason this out of everything else causes Ellie to speak up.

“Where the fuck are you going?” You immediately notice her tones changed completely from the beginning. It was rougher and she sounded like she was genuinely going to snap at you.

“A cabin.” You state flatly.

She looks at you for only a second and then reverts her gaze back to the trail in front of her. You can tell she wanted to say more but kept her mouth shut for your sake, so you indulge.

“It’s getting cold and I want to warm up a little. If you don’t want to follow me, suit yourself, but it’s not on me if Tommy gets all mad.”

She scoffs as she follows you through the overgrown brush that covers the trail, taking interest in the way you pick at the greenery along the way. Why were you so intent on taking all the leaves off the different trees? She wasn’t just looking at you now, she was staring. 

And she couldn’t stop.

She watched the way you rode ahead and shook your hair to get it out of your face, watched the way you would drink out of your bottle, watched the way you’d rub your hands together to get rid of the cramps in them. She kept watching- no, staring at you.

You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t feel the eyes on the back of your head. It honestly concerned you. What was she planning to do? Hurt you? Worse? Every bad thought ran through your head within the span of just ten seconds. You were in the middle of nowhere, it was the middle of the night and you’re with someone that absolutely despises you. What couldn’t go wrong? It’d be a perfect place to hide remotely anything, and your mind went to the worst possible option of that being you.

Not feeling the need to mention anything you keep on the trail. At this point you see the cabin a little bit ahead of where you were. You let out a sigh of relief and kept on. As you reach the cabin, you both stall the horses in the small barn nearby and head inside.

“This is an absolute shithole, are you kidding?” Ellie starts, “what is this going to do for us from the cold?” She scoffs as she follows you around the house, surveying it like you two are spending the night there or something, which is far from true.

“Listen, it’ll work for a while and then we can get back out. Can you stop bitching for once and just chill out?” You were getting irritated at this point and she's pushing your limits. Egging you on, wanting to know how much you can really take.

“I’m the one bitching? We wouldn’t even be here if you weren’t such a pussy about the damn cold!”

“Like I said before, chill the fuck out Ellie.” You try to deescalate the situation.

“I’m pretty fucking chill, I just don’t get why we had to stop here, are we not wasting time?” At this point you realize she just likes to argue for fun.

“If you’re so worried about wasting time then go on your own and do this shit! I never asked for you to come with me in the first place!” You are so close to absolutely breaking. You’re so frustrated with her and her shit you could just cry.

“I never volunteered!” She just kept pushing and pushing you, god you hated her so much in this moment.

“Do you know how fucking irritating you are? Ever since I came to fucking jackson you’ve had it out for me for absolutely no reason at all! What the fuck have I ever done to you? Wanna explain or are you just going to keep treating me like shit?” You had finally broke.

You could tell Ellie wasn’t expecting that. She looked taken aback. Good, you hope it got to her like she got to you this whole time.

“Yeah, stay the fuck silent.” Now you’re the one pushing.

She stares idly tracing her tattoo, the tension clearly eating her up alive. She's at a loss for words right now- her mind is blank as she just looks at you. Not saying a single word for what feels like minutes when she finally decides to sigh. She stands up and walks towards you, still silent. You move backwards and she doesn’t let up as you eventually hit the wall with a gasp and she cages you between her arms. “What’re you-” you try, but with the way she was staring into your eyes, with a different look than normal, you found your words to be stuck in your throat. When were her arms so…big? It never hit you how tall she truly was, but now with her towering over you and her so close? As much as you’d want to think of her like that again, right now just wasn’t the time. 

Jesus, she groans. And it goes straight to your cunt but you know it shouldn’t.

“I guess I’m upset at the fact I’ve always wanted you and couldn’t have you. Do you know how frustrating it is seeing you make friends so easy? Flirting with Jesse so effortlessly? This whole time I’ve wanted you and you couldn’t have cared less. Never batting a single eye at me. I’ve wanted you since you stepped foot through those gates and its making me fucking crazy.” 

“Ellie i-” you try but are immediately cut off by her going,

“I know that’s not what you wanna hear but if I’m being honest I needed to tell you or else the guilt was going to eat me alive. I’m sor-” She shakily breathed out before she was cut off- by you. 

Closing the gap at her confession, you captured her lips in an aggressive kiss, making her whine on impact. Using your shaky hands you cup her face, trying to find a way to stabilize yourself and she catches on, slotting her leg right between yours. The sound of your mouths moving was erotic and her actions even more so. She bit at your bottom lip, silently asking you for access, letting out a breathy moan that was followed suit by her licking the same area. Her mouth was absolute bliss and every lick into it had you wanting more. More of her, her noises and her hands as they traveled slowly up and down your sides.

You pull back to catch your breath and she whines at the loss of contact. You stay for a moment, just listening and watching as her chest heaves up and down. Everything in the room is far too hot for your liking and you fix it the only way you know how.

“Take this off, now.” You motion her shirt up and off her figure. Fuck how cold it is outside, you need to feel her bare skin on yours- and god the sight was beautiful. Her toned abs felt so good under your touch, and her arms were veiny in the right spots, it was so unbelievably hot.

As she holds you tight against the wall- bodies directly pressed against each other, you do the same- grabbing the hem of your own shirt and lifting it above and off you. Sliding your hands up her stomach, you lightly yelp as she takes her own on your hips and forces you down on her thigh. Gasping at the contact, you chase after her lips like she did prior, and she groans. Now you’re desperate to hear it again, and again. You crave it.

She takes your hips and moves you across her thigh even harder now, almost as if she's desperate for you. Chasing your high rather than hers, but still for her pleasure. Grabbing at her shoulders as you take it into your own hands, you start grinding on her. God, her thighs were so hard and toned it was giving you just the right amount of friction. Leaning your head back she takes the opportunity to litter kisses and bites all over the exposed skin. You swear you’re in heaven and you’ve barely even started.

���Jesus baby, I can feel how wet you are through my fucking pants. And I haven't even touched you .” she spoke against your neck. Making a mental note at the nickname. You were biting your lip so hard you thought you tasted blood, and the fact turned you on soooo much more. 

Ellie kept her assault on your neck, but this time she trailed her hands along your body, stopping at your bra and sighing an, 'is this okay’? Taking your far too fast nod as a yes, she snakes her hands behind your back, snapping the bra off and slowly taking it off you. She threw it to the side and suddenly started to grope you, squeezing your tits and slightly grazing over your nipples as you jumped at her aggressiveness. She was giving you so much but it still wasn’t enough.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” she says as she starts on your breasts, sucking and biting at the flesh, leaving the area all sensitive and purple, and leaving you even more desperate.

Her threatening gaze stayed on you the whole time she played with your mounds, sending a wave of hot heat straight down to your cunt. The fact she had this effect on you was concerning you, but you were too entranced by her right now to notice any of it.

“Ellie,” you whine after her as she continues the assault on you, moving back up to your collarbone and jawline. She was staring at you like you were her prey, and she was the predator. 

“Hm?” she taunts against your ear and just hearing her voice alone made you so wet. God, the hold she had on you was crazy, and you’d barely even started. Even though she was the one that confessed to you just moments prior it seemed as though she was almost in charge of the situation regardless of you pouncing on her.

She had you grinding on her thigh even faster and harder now, pressing you into the fabric so you could get off, even if it was turning you on even more, it still wasn’t enough, you wanted her inside you, so bad. You needed it.

“I- …need more” You manage to say throughout moans and whimpers. Although she had just started, you think she’s already made you dumb. Off her thigh.

And that’s exactly what she wanted from you. To be so fucked out all you could say was her name over and over again, like a mantra coming from your lips, but she didn’t think it’d be so fucking easy nor did she think it’d happen so fast.

“Tell me what you need, baby,”  She says, spit dripping down your throat from how much she was sucking on you. Licking it up she brings her head to look at you.

At the words, you pulled her hands from your body and pushed further and further down until reaching the waistline of your pants.

“You’re gonna have to use your words, sweet thing.” She said as she swoops back down between your breasts. You could feel her smirking against your chest and god, she was going to be the death of you.

Being too desperate to be embarrassed you utter, “Ellie just fuck me, please” You were so needy and just needed the smallest amount more from her to teeter you over the edge and straight to your orgasm. “Atta girl.”

 She breaks past your waistband and ventures her hand further down until she reaches the part of you that wanted her the most. You gasp at the contact as she starts rubbing close circles on your clit, turning you into putty. Grabbing at her shoulders, you press your lips against hers once again and this time you’re the one licking into her mouth with a different kind of neediness behind it. She notices your legs wobbling and removes her hand from her spot in your pants and grabs your hips to gently move you over onto the couch nearby. Whimpering as your hips chase her hand she chuckles into you, pushing you down lightly.

Panting and trying to catch your breath you start, “Why haven’t you told me sooner Els, we could’ve done this so long ago.” Ellie just stares at you from her place straddling you, watching the way you look into her eyes and watching as your chest rises and falls from the heavy breathing.

“Why does it matter when I have you right here and now, falling apart in front of me?” she says with a smirk and your scoff doesn’t last long before she's on you again, kissing you with more passion than before. The kiss was softer, and wasn’t as rough with you as before. She moved against you so sensually and slowly and it was driving you crazy. "I've wanted this for so fucking long" she spoke against your lips before she slot her hot tongue into your mouth and moaned when she felt your own swirling around it. 

With your mouths still connected, she slides her hands down to your hips, grabbing for just a second before she moves down into your pants, slowly sliding them off and leaving them to pool at your ankles. With your panties still on the air hits where you were wet, chilling you for just a second before she breaks away from your mouth with a trail of spit connecting you together.

“You remember that one summer where you, Dina and I went down to the river and swam together for hours,” She started at the same time as her mouth attached to your pulse point.

“Yeah- fuck, why?” you asked between sighs and whimpers. Your brain’s so dumb right now, you barely even recall the situation she’s asking you about.

“That flimsy pink bikini you wore- fuck. You don’t even know how bad I wanted to devour you right then and there,” she kept on, drawing even louder moans from you at her words.

“The first time I saw you in something like that and, shit, I thought you were the hottest girl I’ve ever seen,”

“And now I have you in front of me like this, even more exposed. God, fuck I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Every single thing she said had you wanting her even more, although you couldn’t even say a thing because of how hard she was sucking at every inch of your body. She starts working her way from the base of your neck down to the valley between your breasts sprinkling kisses and bites all over. (and probably hickeys, you were too stupid only off her words to notice.) 

“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty.” As you whine at the words you cover up your exposed breasts with your arms, so overstimulated with the way she’s speaking and touching and kissing you. You’re so drunk off her touch, her voice, so drunk off of her.

“Don't hide from me,” and with that she takes your wrists and pins them just above your head onto the armrest. “I wanna see all of you.” she finishes as she licks down from your neck to your breasts letting out a groan when she looks back up at you with that gaze, your doe eyes meeting hers and she smirks- she fucking smirks.

As she gets closer to where you want- need her most, she starts kissing at the inner parts of your thighs. Biting and leaving marks that are sure to be there for the next couple days reminding you of the things that took place (as if you’d want to forget).

Still soaked from being edged just moments ago, and now even more so with her actions, you plead with her to give you what you want.

“Ellie please, need you s’bad.” You’re whimpering for her touch, where you need her the most.

“Patience princess.” God, you feel like you’re going to die, what makes her take so much pleasure in teasing you and making you wait for more?

She licks your cunt through your panties, eliciting a moan she has to hear again. She bites at the fabric and slowly slides your panties down off your hips and leaves them to gather with your pants as she slides a finger straight through your slit, sighing when she feels and hears just how wet you are, and just from her.

“All this just f’me, babe?” she sighs into your thigh where her head was resting as she thumbed your clit lazily, loving the sounds you and your pussy made. 

Continuing to toy with your heat, she starts picking up the pace little at a time, leaving you a whining mess underneath her.

“More please el-” You start but are then cut off as she slips two fingers inside you, scissoring them making you groan lowly.

“I don’t think I caught you, what was that baby?” Babbling nonsense as she hits a particular spot inside you that has you moaning so loudly you take your arm and try to muffle your own sounds with it, biting down so hard you know you’re gonna bruise in the morning.

You can’t handle her teasing but at the same time it feels so good that you bite back whatever you were gonna say in response to any of it. Her fingers plunging in and out of you felt like ecstasy, and you were fucking hooked.

The sounds your cunt was making were obscene and absolutely disgusting. You were so wet and you can’t recall a time someone had ever made you feel this good. Ever. Your slick was leaving onto her forearm and soaking her fingers, slowly making its way onto her tattoo, which you couldn’t peel your eyes off of. The way her arms flexed while she was finger-fucking you was almost hotter than the way she was gazing up at you from her position between your legs.

You were so close on the edge now- riding the wave of white hot pleasure as she thrusts into you harder. And she could tell. Tell how close you were from how hard you clenched on your fingers, your muffled noises coming from above her and the amount of wetness that had already dripped down onto the couch just from her fingering you alone.

Taking your arm away from you she starts, “you’re clenchin’ so hard around me, you gonna come all on my fingers pretty?”

“Mhm, uh-huh” with nothing but incoherent words coming out of your mouth you try to warn, “‘m gonna cum ellie, f-fuck don’t- don’t stop.”

“Cmon baby, cum all over my fingers,”

And as if it were literally on command you cum so hard you swear you see stars, white hot flashes of your climax taking over leaving you loud and breathless, and Ellie loves all of it. “shit, good girl, good fucking girl.”

 She keeps on with fucking you with her fingers, letting you ride out your high as much as you possibly can. Moments later, she takes them out slowly, earning a drawn out whine from you as she kisses the inside of your thighs once again.

 She takes her fingers that were previously inside you just moments ago into her mouth, sucking and swirling her tongue around them. Although you had just come, you could’ve again just at the sight.

She comes back up to your collarbone and licks a long stripe up to your neck, whispering into it praises as she nips at the skin that is your earlobe.

“God you’re so pretty when you're under me like that,” She says to you- capturing her lips on yours once again. The kiss being messier than ever, feeling her tongue slide into your mouth just to take yours and suck on it-a mix of drool and teeth turning you on even more. Pushing her back onto the couch so you were the one on top of her now, you grab at her hips and start grinding down on her thigh once again. You taste yourself on her tongue and she pulls away just as fast as she had gotten up to kiss you and abruptly goes, 

“Wanna feel you on my tongue, fuck i need it, come sit on my face.”

━────༺༻──━───༺༻────

[cearthduo]

tbh I have never seen any cdream apologists call csapnap evil, rather I often see them calling him a stubborn dumbass🤷🏻

I've seen all of the above and not only on dreblr. However, even the take that Sapnap is stubborn or stupid in some way for wanting Dream locked up, or for any other reason is simply incorrect.

A lot of you fail to understand that Sapnap has every reason to dislike Dream and want him out of the way. Dream has personally hurt Sapnap. And people comparing his takes on Dream's imprisonment to those who have NEVER been effected by or even seen the effects of Dream's behavior is unfair.

And of course, as I'm saying this, know I'm not talking about every dream apologist. There are definitely outliers and exceptions to every rule. If this doesn't apply to you or the things you've personally seen that's fine! But there are people who think this way and this post is mostly directed towards them.

Now, from what I've seen, a lot of people don't understand Sapnap's relationship with Dream towards the end of the smp, so let me explain. Sapnap and Dream have never seen eye to eye on really... anything. George has always been a follower, but Sapnap does his own thing. There are times where Sapnap is on Dream's side just out of obligation the L'manberg war is a good example because Sapnap had no issues with L'manberg's creation until Dream did. There's also doomsday, since Sapnap felt wrong going against Dream and his allyship had to be bought by Tommy using Mars. Sapnap goes against Dream directly during the disc war because he technically caused it and therefore felt obligated to help Tommy, since they're also friends.

A lot of people don't know that Tommy and Sapnap have been pretty close friends since the beginning. Out of the Dream Team, Sapnap is actually the only one to not have a hatred for Tommy or his behavior. There was a time or two when he parroted George or Dream's opinions but it's obvious from the beginning that Sapnap feels differently than them about Tommy, L'manberg, and nations in general.

Saying all that to make the point that: Sapnap's disagreement with and fallout with Dream didn't come out of nowhere. Him going to Tommy to ask if he thought Dream actually cared about him wasn't random. He didn't just go up to an enemy and ask their opinion, Tommy is a friend. A friend who also knows Dream well. So when Tommy tells Sapnap that Dream doesn't care about him after the whole Spirit speech, he's obligated to believe him.

And now you're probably saying "Well Sapnap should've just talked to Dream about it." And he does. During the dethronement fallout. During this, Sapnap brings it up in front of Dream and George and Dream is simply dismissive. And he uses all his effort to convince George that he cares all while demonizing Sapnap and claiming he's trying to "split them apart" just for asking George for her feelings and opinions. Sapnap obviously doesn't like the way George or himself is being treated in that moment and it shows. As they're going back to El Rapids, Sapnap even says that he feels left behind by Dream. He feels that Dream is taking power and cutting both him and George out of it. And he absolutely is. When George is crowned king, Dream explicitly says that if anything were to happen to George then Sapnap is next in line for the throne. Yet Sapnap doesn't get the throne.

And now you may claim that "Dream wouldn't make Sapnap king because he doesn't want Sapnap to be targeted like George was." or "Sapnap has a nation, he can't get the kingship" and to that I say, Sapnap can protect himself, unlike George and Dream knows that. George was also king and sitting VP of Manberg at the same time, so Sapnap being part of El Rapids wouldn't have meant he couldn't be crowned. Sapnap wasn't crowned because Dream didn't want him to be. That's all.

Now moving past the dethronement, we can also talk about how Dream killed Quackity, hunted down and tried to kill George, and threatened to kill all of El Rapids (including Sapnap) into the mix. Then you can factor in how after all that, Sapnap still found it weird to go against Dream during doomsday (even despite his fiancés being on L'manbergs side) or lets not speak on the fact dream gave mars to tommy during the pet war.

Then you get to the stage conflict, and really this was the nail in the coffin. Had this only been a rescue mission for clingyduo maybe, just maybe, Sapnap wouldn't have been ok with keeping Dream in the prison. But that isn't the case. Because Dream had to (in Sapnap's eyes, he doesn't know things were staged) once again put power above Sapnap and most importantly George. People like to pretend that they were unaffected, especially saying that Dream had nothing of George's, but that isn't true. In that possession vault, Dream had Beckerson and a place for Mars.

You guys don't seem to understand how devastating this is for Sapnap. Those fish were a symbol of not only the earliest days of the smp, but also symbols of Dream Team's friendship. Beckerson was Dream and George's fish. Beckerson was George's fish. And if there's one thing Sapnap cares about protecting it's George. It's the reason Sapnap doesn't tell George about the things Dream does, and why he seemingly doesn't tell George that the prison allows visitors after Dream specifically requests to see her. Sapnap cares about George above anything and everything on that server. And he was fooled to believe that Dream, his best friend Dream, would've used their fish to try and control her. That's a problem. That's a problem that needs to be detained.

And yes Sapnap believes things aren't going well in the prison for Dream. He thinks he's getting worse, but the only proof of that he's seen is that he wouldn't talk. Dream going mute is in no means worse than Dream getting out and hurting everyone and everything Sapnap cares about. Dream is Sapnap's friend but he does not hold that friendship above everything else he has. Especially since, in Sapnap's eyes, that friendship has been onesided for a long long time.

And this doesn't even mention that after all this, Sapnap still hears Dream out after his escape. He could've easily killed Dream in Snowchester, but instead he lets him talk. He stalls. He tries to agitate Dream so that he makes the first move. Because Sapnap doesn't have the heart to actually lay him down. And while Sapnap immediately tries to kill Dream with the deathbook, Dream dying somewhere random where Sapnap doesn't have to see is much much easier than killing him himself. Something he feels obligated to do just for aiding Dream in getting as bad as he was. After he learns he can't kill Dream he starts daydreaming about how much of a power duo they'd be as a team. Because deep down he still sees them as a team.

And they would be if they communicated better. They would be if Dream saw them as equals. They would be if Dream hadn't put those damn fish in his vault. The burden of fixing what remains of their friendship is on Dream because at the end of the day, Sapnap's only fault was reacting to the things Dream did.

So when I see Dream apologists calling Sapnap stubborn, or stupid, or a bad friend, or a sociopath. I consider that a horrid take, because all Sapnap has done ever is care for his friends. And I won't see Sapnap made out to be the bad guy in Dreamnap's relationship because no matter how you bend it, he isn't. And the fact that a good few of you villainize him and George when it comes to Dream team's relationship ending shows that you ignore the povs of other characters just as much as Tommy apologists ignore the pov of Dream. If you want to blame everyone involved, then do that, but make sure the weight is on Dream. And that's just how I feel about this subject.

Sorry about the rant anon but I do not play about c!Dteams relationship and this has been boiling in my brain for a while. amen.