#ship:eddietommy

[shannondiazs]

so the 118 obviously has a boyfriend tax jar that's exclusively for buck. when buck starts dating tommy everyone's very happy for them so they're willing to put up with buck constantly bringing him up and talking about everything he gets up with his boyfriend thinking that it'll stop once they leave the honeymoon phase except that it's been nearly six months now and he won't stop talking about tommy and there's only so much one can hear about a coworker's sex life before starting to go a little bit mad, so, the jar is introduced

buck gets three free passes a day and after that every mention of tommy requires money in the jar ($1 every time he mentions his name, $2 if he calls him "my boyfriend" because that's somehow even more sappy, $5 if he mentions what they get up in bed, $10 if the words "dick" and "hole" get brought up (after one conversation where everyone learns way much more than they ever need to know about buck's sex life a new fine is installed: $20 if buck ever calls tommy "daddy" at the station))

so anyway, the jar system is working. it doesn't stop buck from talking about his boyfriend at all, if anything since the jar started he talks about him more, but at least the money collected funds the A-shift's once a month happy hour so we're calling it a success. except that one day out of nowhere eddie also starts bringing up tommy and just won't stop. one day he spends a good twenty minutes talking about tommy's hands and how massive they looked when they were working on some car's engine, another day is all about how big tommy is and how his muscles look while he works out, three days after that is about how nice tommy is with animals and kids and how he can bake the fluffiest cakes, did you know that? and whenever this is happening buck will only look at eddie and smile and doesn't say a word

so the 118 is very fucking confused because the tommy jar is exclusively for buck because they thought no one else would have a reason to not shut up about him but now here eddie is and they don't know if they're supposed to start making him put money on it too because like, it's the boyfriend jar after all. they also don't know what to make of it. is buck exploiting a loophole they didn't consider before through eddie? are those actually eddie's thoughts? does eddie have a crush on buck's boyfriend? does buck know? is he okay with it? do they need to rename the jar to simply "the tommy jar" and make everyone who brings him up put money in it?

(the confusion is cleared out a couple months later one day that buck and eddie get to work together one morning and before doing anything else eddie drops twenty dollars on the jar and loudly announces to everyone "so, turns out buck wasn't overselling how pretty tommy looks when you ride him. truly life altering experience". everyone considers just banning mentioning tommy at all during working hours)

[shannondiazs]

yes, buck mostly has missionary sex because he's a romantic and he likes having eye contact with tommy and holding his hand as he comes. but you know who would fuck nasty? and i'm talking all times of the day on the table, on the floor, on the breakfast bar, face down ass up and in every other position known to god and some they come up with themselves? eddie and tommy

[shannondiazs]

actually no i can't be normal and stop thinking about this post and this post and hurting my own feelings because like

here's eddie diaz who's not very good at making friends he doesn't work with and who's so repressed even the pope thinks it's a tad bit much and he's meeting this older firefighter pilot who's so fucking cool and he's got so much in common with and he actually wants to be friends with him. and eddie's never had a friend he can actually talk sports and martial arts with, someone who actually understands the trauma of being in the army, and maybe tommy also comes from a family like his that's not without love and it wasn't exactly bad but his parents never truly understood him or supported him in anything. maybe tommy is also an older brother who had to take the mantle of "man of the house" because his dad was too detached from it, had to take too many responsibilities at an early age.

and eddie just connects with this dude in a way that he's never connected with anyone besides buck and even then, there's things buck can't never understand but tommy does. so he starts hanging out with this guy, starts texting him and talking with him basically anytime he's not on call or with his son

and one day he brings up this fight he's excited for and asks tommy if he'd want to watch it with him and tommy's like "actually, i've got a mate who got me two ringside tickets for it and i've been looking for someone to go with, you'd be interested?" and eddie is over the moon about it. he's nearly giggling and kicking his feet up as he calls carla to ask if she can look after chris overnight because he's going to fucking vegas with a friend. when he arrives at harbour to get on the chopper tommy is flying them to vegas in he's just a bit disappointed to see buck is there too but it's also great because buck is his best friend and he loves him and he's the only person who ever made eddie feel this way once upon a time (and he's trying so hard not to think too much about that) so it's great they're friends too but actually, no, buck's not coming and eddie feels only a little bit bad that he's relieved about it.

so they go to the fight and it's fucking great and tommy gets into it just as much as eddie is. after the fight they go out for drinks with tommy's promoter friend and they get a little drunk and in that drunken haze he lets himself think about the things he usually tries to keep at bay. he thinks about how cool and impressive tommy is but also about how fucking hot he is, he's 300lb of muscle and the strength he's got, how easily he'd manhandled eddie when they were practicing muay thai the other day, how when he looked on top of eddie when he pinned him to the floor and how eddie had wanted to taste the sweat on his muscles, lick the vein in his neck, get those hands that were holding him touching way below. but he gets a hold of himself and when they get to their hotel room with the two queen size beds he makes himself stop thinking about they way he wants to touch him everywhere, find out if he can make him make some of the noises from their sparring session in a different context. tries not to think about how his cock would feel on his hand, how tommy would look as he came.

so anyway, they get back to LA the next morning and eddie tries his best to pretend he never thought any of that and then the basketball game from hell happens and tommy tells him he's gonna talk to buck, try and make peace and eddie doesn't think twice about it, they're both his friends and they would get along well. when he sees them hanging out at the restaurant he pretends that what he feels at the pit of his stomach isn't jealousy, and later that week he only wonders a little bit if marisol being a nun before truly is the only reason why he can't have sex with her anymore, if the fact that sometimes when he sinks into her deep in his brain in a corner he never goes to he thinks about a different person, one with broader shoulders and strong pecs instead of breasts isn't part of it too.

and then he's in buck's kitchen and buck's telling him "it was a date" and when eddie asks "wait, tommy's gay?" it has nothing to do with buck and all to do with him knowing in an instant that if he'd known that back in vegas he might have risked it, might have followed his deepest desires and touch tommy like he wanted to. but now his best friend is talking about him with that doe eyed look in his eyes and eddie knows that means he really likes him and eddie does his best to push his own feelings aside because that's what he's good at and buck needs him to be supportive, that he's being vulnerable and confessing something scary to him and eddie wishes he could be like that, too, so he tells him to call tommy even though eddie wants him to do the opposite, wants to be the one tommy kissed in the kitchen and took on a date

he's not lying, exactly, when he tells buck he also likes tommy but not in that way, because whatever buck feels for tommy can't compare to what eddie's going through. he doesn't know if his desire outweighs the shame, doesn't know if he'd be able to be like buck and jump straight into it with blind hope, he knows he'd never be able to talk about it tho. not for a long while. and when he goes home that night and he's laying on his marisol-free bed staring at the ceiling he gives himself permission to be fucking angry that buck gets to have what he wants so bad, lets himself be a shitty friend and wish tommy maybe also wants eddie the way he wants him, want him more than he wants buck.

in the morning he'll feel guilty about it, in the morning he will be the supportive friend buck needs. but tonight he wallows in his jealousy and his anger and his shame and if he comes from jerking off a little too hard with tommy's name in his mouth no one has to fucking know about it.

[shannondiazs]

buddie this and bucktommy that but what about eddie starting to catch feelings for tommy before he started dating buck??? huh??? like you're telling me if you were eddie diaz and some hot beefy older dude got you ringside tickets to a box fight and flew you to las vegas you wouldn't get an itty bitty crush???? i know that when eddie saw tommy all covered in grease under his car his heart skipped a bit or two and when they were practicing muay thai and tommy got him pinned to the floor all shirtless and sweaty and panting hard and giving him that crunched nose smile the thoughts going through his head were very unchristian and not very heterosexual

i know that when he told buck he liked tommy too but not like that he was lying