fading part. ii
pairing: johnny silverhand x reader
summary: fate was a double edged sword. finally you were free of your gilded cage, free to possibly start anew. but old habits die hard.
warnings: gun violence, murder, blood, kidnapping, grooming (not by johnny), rockstar behavior, angst angst angst! sexual implications, eventual smut, slowburn, secret enemies to lovers, fluff.
a.n: hey everyone! thx for the love and for your patience. luv ya!
word count: 3k
masterlist
///[memory shard detected]…uploading…//[2010][memory uploaded]///
You squirmed in your seat across from your uncle. You found yourself seated across from him in your parlor, sat at the table in the center of the room. You couldn’t rid the feeling of shame not knowing your uncle’s visit was scheduled for today, not having the courage to look him in the eye — even if they were hidden behind his glasses. Saburo Arasaka seemingly didn’t feel the need to fill the silence, choosing instead to stare you down from across the table. His gaze alone made you feel small like a child. The painful silence finally ended when Yumi set the kettle of piping hot green tea between the two of you.
“It seems my presence comes as quite the shock to you, niece,” Saburo finally spoke in his gravelly voice.
You gulped before finally speaking up, choosing to keep your gaze safely in your fiddling hands, “yes, well it was a bit of surprise.”
“I tried to warn you,” Tomie spoke over you, making you flinch.
You laughed nervously, “I suppose you did, didn’t you?”
Saburo watched as Yumi poured him some tea before serving you, only speaking when Yumi left you, bowing deeply before.
“You’re slacking on your studies,” Saburo said sharply. “Your teachers have told me so.”
You sighed. “Yes, well I haven’t felt the motivation to learn something I have no passion for….”
“That may be so, but you’ve also been slacking in your monitoring of the Net as well, mei.”
You supposed there was no way news of your slump would make its way back to your uncle eventually. Everything did. You let out another heavy sigh, encasing the small cup of tea in your hands.
”How is Yorinobu? I’m sure he’s making strides. And pretty Hanako, how is she holding up?” You try.
“話題を変えるなよ、ヒナ。don’t try to change the subject、 Hina,” Saburo frowned.
You bowed your head again, “ごめんなさい I’m sorry”
“Must I remind you of how integral your skill is in the protection of Arasaka?” Saburo said.
“No, uncle,” you said submissively.
“Good. Enough of this rot, tomorrow you are to resume your lessons while continuing your surveillance,” Saburo sipped his tea.
He continued to talk but it all but faded away. It was all the same, day in and day out. Wake up, eat, lessons for the majority of the day then surveillance late into the night until you were on the edge of letting your brain fry before collapsing to sleep. And then start all over again the next day. Never stopping, the wheel keeps turning. Even when you showed signs that you needed help, like now, it went ignored. When will it end?
Your gaze hardened as your hands turned to fists in your lap. It’s now or never.
”Uncle, can I ask you something?” You say, trying your best to keep your voice steady.
“Anything, my child,” Saburo said, though you knew in his tone he was only half interested.
“What would you say if, if I were to go out for a little while,” you say, carefully looking up to watch his expression.
Saburo nods, “of course, an outing to grab more essentials. We can arrange something for you that way security can accompany you.”
You almost wanted to laugh. Was it that hard to believe that you wanted to experience life beyond these walls? Did he truly believe that you would only aspire to be under his thumb? An unfamiliar feeling began to bubble in your chest, your face beginning to get hot. This feeling, you recognized it from the faces of those people rioting in front of your family’s name. Anger.
Angry how you are constantly dismissed, overlooked. Only seen for your skills and nothing beyond that. Part of you should know better — this may be a family business, but it was still a business as your uncle had been at the helm for almost a century and there was no sign of him releasing the reins, completely anyway. You were grateful, of course, no one who wasn’t in your position would have access to the best chrome and tech in the industry. Your life was privileged, you just weren’t sure just how privileged — and there was no way of knowing if you remained trapped in this gilded cage.
You remained silent for a moment, shuffling your thoughts in your head. You knew your uncle was a clever man so you had to play your cards carefully. You took in a breath before straightening your posture. Saburo met your gaze of conviction as a twinge of interest.
”I meant going on an extended stay, somewhere beyond the city. Possibly the country,” you say firmly.
Saburo cocks an eyebrow, “a trip? That’s preposterous, where is this coming from?”
“I believe it would help me get out of this slump,” you reasoned, “I wouldn’t be away for long, only a short while to regroup and resume my lessons and my work for the corporation. That way I can perform at my best-“
”And where would you go?” Saburo frowned, obviously not pleased by your proposal.
You shrugged, “I haven’t given the location much thought, but-“
“The answer is no,” Saburo had shut you down.
Your next words died on the tongue as your hope was beginning to drain quickly.
“But uncle-“
“No,” Saburo glared at you, “you are safe here. Not out there where any lowlife could easily abduct you and use you for their own personal gain or pleasure. No, I won’t allow it.”
“Uncle, please listen-“
“You shall remain here and resume your studies as planned, end of discussion.”
You let out an exasperated breath and shook your head, “why won’t you listen?”
“Why should I? You are young and naive, my young niece. You are unaware of just how evil and corrupt this world is. No matter where you go, rot touches all — except here, where I can keep you safe,” Saburo stood to his feet. “I won’t hear anymore of this, understood?”
You couldn’t justify an answer. Everything screamed for you to submit like you always had, to go with the status quo. But there was this small, irritating voice that nagged at you to not let this go.
“Then I will remain miserable for the rest of my days,” your voice weakened, letting your head fall. “Uncle, I’ve lost count of the days, I don’t even know what today is. I’ve sunk into his routine that is slowly drowning me and tearing me apart from the inside out.”
You looked up at him, fire in your eyes, “I am eternally grateful for the protection and life you have given me. Raising me from a young age, taking me under your wing as your own after mother…. But as I remain here, I feel as if I am nothing but a machine, built to only produce results. I am blessed with my skills, and I’m so very grateful for the tools at my disposal.
But please know, I will never feel like I have lived if you continue to keep me here. I will never stop asking, and my condition will continue to decline. Please, see reason, uncle.”
Saburo stood across from in silence, his eyes analyzing you. It was at this moment you realized his gaze didn’t make you falter, you maintained your gaze into his eyes. The silence felt like it rolled on forever until Saburo shattered it.
“I will give it some thought,” he said, watching your face light up, “but until then you return to your studies, understood?”
You beamed and nodded your head excitedly, “yes, of course, thank you uncle!”
Saburo nodded, before leaving the room, signaling his goodbye. You couldn’t help but celebrate, jumping from your seat and throwing your hands over your head.
“Yes!” You whispered to yourself, holding your hands to your racing chest. “I hope this works.”
Saburo rounded the corner before stopping, his hands hidden in his sleeves.
“Tomie, run a diagnostic,” he ordered.
A few seconds passed before Tomie’s voice chimed quieter and out of earshot of you.
“The young mistress remains healthy and uncorrupted, master,” she answered.
“And her brain neurons, no discrepancies to be seen?” He said, his face stoic.
”No master Saburo. Her neural pathways stay harbored at a safe 94%, two percent lower than last month however,” Tomie said.
“Hm, very well then. Keep an eye on her and notify me of any differences,” Saburo began his path to the AV pad again. “I don’t need any ghosts rearing their heads now.”
///[memory shard complete]...ERROR - MEMORY LOST///
/[new memory shard detected - upload commencing…]\
Surprising to you, the escalation to your spontaneous trip outside of Osaka. You were shocked when your Uncle had asked you (though it didn’t sound like he was asking) to accompany him on a business trip. You immediately jumped at the chance, excited to finally not only be able to leave your lavish apartment, but possibly even the country. You were excited, until he told you where this said business trip was taking place. Night City, one of the last free cities in the Western hemisphere and one of Arasaka’s strongest footholds. Also, home to one of the biggest rocker bands, Samurai. Your expression gave you away easily.
“I expected you to be happier, are you perhaps not ready for a trip?” Saburo said.
“N-No! I am uncle, thank you for the opportunity,” you said, flustered.
You were in fact more ready than you could ever be. You had dived deep into the lore of what was the Anarchist group that was Samurai. In the short amount of time since you’ve discovered the riot video, you’ve listened to nearly every album, even going as far to memorize some of their lyrics. You scoured the Net to find more information about its band members: Henry, the bassist, Denny, the drummer, Nancy, she played the keys and there was the vocalist and lead guitarist, Kerry. And the one that had garnered your attention the most, the lead singer Johnny Silverhand. Interestingly, you found his old military file, learning he had served in the Second Central American War before leaving, somehow ending up in the claws of Night City.
You weren’t completely oblivious to the treacherousness that belonged to Night City. You could tell from the sour expressions from the mention of the name NC that the name didn’t garner much good feelings. But you found yourself surprisingly in good spirits. Of all the places your Uncle could have permitted you to go to, it was Night City, Silverhand’s city. It felt like fate.
The giddiness didn’t subside as the AV soared over the towering mega buildings, your face pressed against the glass. You couldn’t stop smiling, trying to take everything in but it was impossible. Night City was so much different compared to Osaka. It had an edge as sharp as a knife that made your blood race with thrill. All this adrenaline and you hadn’t stepped foot in the city’s streets.
“Remember why you are here, Hina,” Saburo said, his voice strict. “This isn’t all for childish fun.”
You flinched at his harsh words, sinking back into your seat across from him.
“Yes, I’ll try my best,” you said with your head bowed.
Saburo nodded, “you’ll make sure to do so. This isn’t the same as hiding in your cradle and operating behind the scenes, child. This is reality, and I won’t tolerate any degree of failure.”
Your eyes cast over to the veil folded neatly on the side table.
“Yes but is the veil really necessary?” You question.
“Your identity is our biggest asset, if those of our enemies were to know that Arasaka harbors the little netrunner that’s been slowing down all of their systems, they would not stop until they had a hold of such a weapon,” Saburo said matter-of-factly.
His cold words cut you. Your hands clenched into fists in your lap. A weapon? Was that all he saw in you?
“Child, it is for your protection and first and foremost,” Saburo said. “This city has a ceaseless supply of opportunists who will be happy to hold you for ransom.”
You nod with a small smile, “I’m not worried, uncle. I know I am protected under your watchful eye.”
Saburo grunted at your words as the AV began to lower itself into the landing pad of Konpeki Plaza.
“The veil, don’t take it off until I say so. The veil will conceal your appearance to the naked eye but will be untraceable within surveillance as well,” Saburo said.
You nodded and did as you were told, placing the veil over your head and letting the translucent fabric hide your face. The door opened up to a line of Arasaka soldiers standing tall. Saburo stepped out first and you quickly after. You kept your hands clasped together in front of you and your head lowered. You could feel the intense gazes of the men and women who stood in a stiff line. They were unwavering in their rigorous training, that’s why they were able to stand where they stood today, but even they were curious to glimpse upon the face of the forgotten Arasaka child.
You followed Saburo through a doorway and down a long corridor. Servants and corp workers alike quickly stepped aside as you were escorted further into the lavish hotel. You followed him into a private elevator accessed only by an Access Card. The two of you were joined by two of Saburo’s staff and a single soldier. Finally the doors slid open to a penthouse that almost rivaled back home. Almost. You finally lifted your head to look around the room, finding it slightly smaller than your penthouse back home but equally as lavish. You stood unsure of what to do next as Saburo’s staff brought in your bags.
Saburo finally turned back to you, “this is where you will be staying when you are not working at Arasaka Tower. You will be free to do as you wish within these walls, but if you are to wander outside you will have a guard by your side 24/7 and your all activities will be reported back to me.”
You couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed, your shoulders sagging.
“Is something wrong?” said Saburo.
You shook your head, “no! It’s just..-”
“Spit it out, my time is valuable,” Saburo frowned.
“O-Of course, uncle. I was just hoping that this trip would come with more…freedom?” You voice quietly.
Saburo scoffed, “a foolish hope. Remember your place.”
You flinched but nodded. Saburo walked past you without as much of a glance.
“I’ll leave you to settle in for the night. Tomorrow I will come to retrieve you for our visit to Arasaka Tower,” He stated.
Your brow furrowed in frustration as Saburo entered the elevator and left without another word. You let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. You looked at the two staff who were assisting in unpacking your things.
“Please, leave those things to me,” you say gently.
The two women looked at each other in unease before one spoke up, “but Arasaka-san, it’s would be-”
“Please, I insist. Go and tend to your other more urgent tasks,” you say, turning your backs to them as you approach the living area.
“Yes, mistress,” was all the women muttered before quickly shuffling to the elevator.
It was only then when the elevator closed on them did you feel like you could finally breathe. You ripped the white off your head, throwing it on the marble floor in anger. This was not something you would have agreed to if you knew you were agreeing to be kept in another cage. How was this any better than Osaka? You almost wanted to cry. You shrugged off the robe from your shoulders before walking over to one of your suitcases left half unpacked.
“Oh good,” you crouched down as you scrummage through the last items, “she didn’t find it.”
You pulled out a slim case that you had tucked deeply in the case before you left Japan. Opening the slot revealed a small shard which you picked up and slotted into your neck. You hummed as the new software integrated itself into your cyberdeck. Your eyes glowed in a familiar white hue as you stood to your feet again.
“Tomie, are you there?” You say quietly.
“Yes, I am here. There is no need to speak to me directly if you wish to be discreet, Hina-san,” Tomie spoke to you in your mind.
You sighed, “thank goodness, I’m happy to see the upload worked.”
“It is quite the accomplishment, young mistress. You were able to compress my AI presence into a simple shard all while being undetected. Your engineering skills are becoming more than sufficient.”
“Guess all those hours of lessons really did pay off, huh?” You chuckle as you walk up to the floor-to-ceiling window showing the neon skyline of Night City.
The city hummed, buzzed. It felt almost alive. A beast that wouldn’t hesitate at the chance to swallow you whole. The danger was seductive in that way, and you were sure that you would not be the first or the last of its victims. Countless opportunities, endless choices, all at your fingertips -- but you only wanted one thing. To finally break free of this cage and feel something. So you were going to seek out the one thing that made you feel something new in such a long time. His face flickered in your reverie as you pressed your palm against the cool glass.
“If this is my only chance, then I have to take it,” your gaze hardened as you stared into your reflection. “No matter what.”
“Are you prepared for what you might risk, young mistress?” Tomie questioned. “If you are caught, you may never step outside again. Your uncle would guarantee it.”
You let out a shaky breath, “then so be it. I can’t live knowing that I didn’t try.”
“Then I will try to be of assistance in any way that I can,” Tomie said.
You nodded, fire in your eyes. There was nothing that would change your mind. You were going to find Johnny Silverhand, even if it were the last thing you’d do.
///[Memory shard complete]///ERROR..MEMORY SHARD MALFUNCTION//[dATA LOST]///
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