#tom holland angsty blurb

[uglypastels]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by: @eddiemunsons80sbaby 💖💖

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

My main posting site is tumblr, on which I have 387 titles in my masterlists, (443 individual writing posts if seperating multi-chaptered stories).

Then i've reposted 40 of these titles on AO3 and 10 on Wattpad.*

*Counted since 2018

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

40 fics - 518,511 words total

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for MCU (actors) and co, the Irregulars, Stranger Things and One Piece (live action).

4. What are your top 5 fics?

I'm going by individual posts, not accumulated interactions through series.

Following the Herd

"Wearing His T-Shirt" blurb

"Overcoming the Nerves" blurb

Heaven and Hell

The Special

5. Do you respond to comments?

I always try my best to reply as soon as possible wether its an ask, reblog or comment. (Excluding wattpad, as i see that more like people annotating their reading and generally don't want to bother them. But i do always read them and appreciate them, and if something stands out or if someone comments a lot i will respond)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh i once killed reader off dramatically lol ("Car Crash" blurb) but I think the general reader's concensus would be Caught Me Slippin' , which I didn't even intend to make that angsty, but people cried (allegedly). And honestly, while i apologise for the emotional damage, i do take it as the highest compliment to be able to evoke such feelings.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my stories are quite happy and i'm not sure how to rate "happiness".

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I am actually surprised how scarce the hate is, and usually in the form of anons, because I always expect people to hate me. But thats on insecurities. Honestly, writing on here has always been amazing.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. I hate it tho 😫 like, love smut in theory and concept but it's a bitch to write.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I love a lengthy and extended au, often inspired by other works (Not Wholly Evil is basically Stranger Things x Pirates of the Caribbean) but i think the only clear "crossover" i (remember to) have written would be Murder on the Dancefloor ??? which would be a tom holland x Strictly Come Dancing crossover lmao. I do often think about tv show crossovers in concept tho, but doubt i'll write any.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup. Shit sucks.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, but it was done without my permission and uncredited (which is still stealing!!) so that sucks.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've dabbled in co-writing, haha, several times avtually, but for one reason or another, none of the projects were ever published. Would love to one day actually fully co-write something with someone on here.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Ngl, i'm not sure I have one. Probably why all of my stories are 'x reader'.

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At this point I think this about every single one of my WIPs and that's writer's block for ya.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm...i'd like to think the expression of emotion, showing how characters feel. And maybe world building- or thats at least my favorite thing in AUs. Maybe also details (either motives, references or foreshadowing)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm horrible at pacing. Always feel like i go too slow with the plot and then suddenly too fast and its all a mess, especially when it comes to series. Also just general knowledge on things; i feel like i don't know enough things to write about when it comez to daily and regular life, or even how to normally interact with people so that makes things hard when trying to be realistic. I also feel like i don't know enough words??? So things get really repetitive.

Oh, and this is also an aspect of writing- i'm horrible at getting feedback in the form of proofreading. It makes me physically sick having someone go through my work like that, and I barely do it myself. Which may result in some horrible typos/mistakes. And i do apologise profusely for that. Believe me, if you caught a mistake in my fic, i still think about it to this day.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in different languages?

Its always better if the writer is familiar with the language. Things you're comfortable with writing translate over better to the reader. It's like in movies/tv, its always better when you have an actor speaking a language they actually know. And if you don't know it, 1) ask yourself why are you writing it then and then 2) better research the hell out of it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

My first fic, that has since been deleted for a long time, was on wattpad and it was for a youtuber lmao. (peak 2013/15 era, thats all i'm gonna say)

20. Favorite fic(s) you've written?

From my most recent, in no particular order:

Following the Herd (eddie munson)

The Special (Sanji)

Not Wholly Evil (Eddie Munson)

Biggest Fan (Buggy)

Headlights (Eddie Munson)

This was so much fun to do at 4/5 am haha. Thank you for the tag again. Here are some peeps i'll be tagging (no pressure) 💜

@mydearzero @spiderrrling @eddies-house @elvendria @josephfakingquinn

[parkers-gal]

the man with what if’s

boomerang part iv

wc: 1.4k

She was so cold; frigid and frozen as heat left her body. Maybe it was just in her nature to never wear the appropriate clothing in relation to the weather, or maybe she was so accustomed to someone always bringing a jacket for her, that she never thought twice about what she wore. Now, though, she regrets every decision she has ever made.

The walk back to her apartment is already as horrible as it could get, and she still has about eight miles to go. If only she brought a portable charger, or a sweater, or better shoes.

If they were still together, it would’ve been their two-year-anniversary. Maybe that’s why she just left their favorite restaurant. Maybe that’s why she went to visit the very same spot in which they happened to have met for the first time. Maybe that’s why she’s wearing his favorite dress of hers, clad in the best fitting heels that, when worn, still make her shorter than him. Maybe that’s why, after an hour and a half of sitting at a table, alone, in the restaurant, drinking wine as she gazed at the fellow couples and families dining, she started crying.

To anyone else, it would look like the rain just got the worst of her. But attention to detail was all she wished for, all she hoped someone would pay. Pay to notice the puffy, red eyes with lingering dark spots under them. Pay to notice how close she is to giving up, desperation for someone infinitely greater than the hole in her heart.

Love bleeding out, killing her.

All this time, all these weeks gone by and tears fallen, and she still doesn’t love him any less. She hates it, hates how she loves him and needs him, how she craves for the intimacy only he could provide. The warmth and comfort and security he brought, the ease he settled into her bones, and the peace he provided that overtook her body. She wanted it all back. Perhaps Harry was right, that they weren’t better off apart, or perhaps her heart wasn’t ready for a change that wasn’t supposed to happen.

She doesn’t know anything anymore.

She stumbles slightly as she lets the restaurant door close behind her, holding her purse above her head to at least try and remain dry. After a minute of walking like this, she drops her hands to her sides and gives up once again, letting the rain consume her dress, the dark skies the clouds brought filling her orbs and reflecting back to the souls who dared to look her in the eyes.

Her vision blurred, the fine line between happiness and pain lost on the journey to her memories of the best thing that ever happened to her. Maybe this was it.

Another tear fell. She’s so distraught she can’t even differentiate her tears from the raindrops, piercing her skin and freezing the love that once flowed through her veins. She was so distraught that she didn’t notice the car that had pulled up to the curb beside her, following her slowly on her walk back.

The window rolls down, hot waves puffing out and steaming the bitter air of the dim sky.

“Y/N?”

She froze, tears still falling, makeup washed away and smudged in the strangest way, her dress sticking to her body. Turning slowly, she saw. There in the car, her savior and her light and her beacon and her safe haven. The man with the arms that could hold her like she was the most precious being in the world, protecting her. The man with hands that could hold her own, promising and providing. The man with legs that could guide her through all of life’s difficulties and struggles and pain. The man with big, coffee-chocolate doe-eyes, widened to see the world for all its glories and beauties, herself included. The man with a heart so big only fools would let it drop, let it go and watch it shatter the way she did. The man with a burning light, love so strong even the best would be smitten.

“Tommy?”

He hits the brake, window fully rolled down as he leans his elbow on the entirety of it, one hand on the wheel as his entire figure is pointed towards the girl standing beside his car door.

“Come with me?”

She doesn’t reply to him, too starstruck, too preoccupied with her mind, her brain, her biggest enemy: herself. She stands there, rain thundering down harder, and he makes a move to open the car door, but she speaks before he acts.

“Always.”

He sighs out a breath of relief, motioning for her to quickly get into the passenger seat, the door opened for her. She plops into the seat, shivering and teeth chattering as she takes in the newly comforted warmth the car heater provides.

He glances at her, both hands on the wheel but the car still in park. “Take this off,” he motions towards her dress. “Take my jacket instead.”

“I-I,” she’s staring at the road in front of her. “I can’t.”

He stops hustling, bustling, moving. “Why not?” he whispers.

“I don’t know.”

A few silent beats pass before he talks again. “Do you… want to?” he whispers, head down as his eyes look to his lap.

“So much.”

His head shoots up again, and he starts moving. “C'mon, you’ll get sick if you keep wearing this.”

She nods silently, turning so he can unzip her, and he does just that. Smoothly, as if it’s reflex. She maneuvers herself out of the dress and pulls his hoodie over her figure, the cloth reaching just above her knees.

“I brought extra gloves,” he says, reaching into the backseat to hand her a pair of his own, her favorite pair.

“Thank you,” she whispers back, eyes still focused ahead of her.

He changes the car’s transmission, moving the shift knob and driving onward, forward, ahead.

*

“How did you know where I was?” she inquires quietly after a few silent moments, the car’s engine and the heater humming quietly, rain slick on the wheels of the Audi A8.

Tom is silent for a few moments, making a left turn. “I was in the restaurant with you,” he confesses to her.

“W-what?”

They’re so hushed and mumbled that one would think they’re spies, sharing secret information about a classified case. But they’re not. They’re just ordinary people, sharing secrets so valuable they’re worth more than their lives. The heart is too expensive to replace or repair.

“I was at our spot, too,” he whispers on, voice making a raspy appearance as he gets subtly louder. “The place where we met, I mean. I saw you there and- I don’t know.. I didn’t know you had a reservation too. I came in the back, and you were there when I got there. It’s like I couldn’t not see you.”

She breathes out, sweater paws and gloved hands rubbing her thighs, purse discarded on the floor of the car, beside her shivering toes. She looks down for the first time in twenty minutes, hair slipping and covering her face at the sudden change in position.

“I really miss you,” she whispers.

Tom pulls up to her apartment and stops the car, turning towards her seat, but she’s already stepping out of the vehicle.

“Thanks for coming,” she whispers, closing the door lightly as she walks to the front of her flat, new tears brimming the swimming pools that are her eyes. The rain is pouring exponentially now, coming down on her with no mercy and no sympathy, drenching her hair and soaking the new materials on her body.

She hears another car door close behind her, but she doesn’t turn around. Tom is running to her, across the pavement and calling her name, hand reaching for her. She turns around just in time to see him stop in front of her, huffing out as he looks down into her eyes, one hand intertwining with hers and then another.

“I-I,” he stutters, having not thought the entire plan through. But it doesn’t matter, not to him or her or even the god that never listened to his cries and begs. “I miss you too,” he breaths out, forehead pressing against hers.

She relishes in the feeling of being surrounded by him, skin and flesh bare on her very fingertips, nose intoxicated with his scent. Neither of them make any sign to move apart, and she’s internally grateful, praying to the lords that something happens, that a spark can ignite even in the flooding rain.

“I thought you were moving on from me,” he’s whispering again, so close to her that normal voices aren’t needed to hear one another.

A tear slips out of her closed eyes, and she exhales. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

[love-strawberry]

lost you to someone better

summary : in which she's moving on with someone better for her but he's still on her.

pairing : harry styles x reader (past), tom holland x reader

warnings : language

author's note : really wanna make a part iii to this, tell me what you think!! enjoy <33

tagged : @0oolookitsme @ellora-brekker @qualitygiantshoepsychic

lose you to someone else i

i'm happy, isn't that great iii

masterlist

navigation

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liked by tomholland2013, zendaya, lifeisahola and 4,628,529 others

y/n_ tom cheating on tessa: a trilogy

157,529 comments

username tessa when tom comes back: welcome home cheater

samholland1999 how could u betray my girl like that

username lowkey miss harry and y/n

tomholland2013 take this down before she sees this

-> y/n_ too late, she already saw and lemme tell you, her bark is not happy

username tessa>>

username totally not jealous of a few puppies

zendaya expose him

username AWWWWWWWWWWWW

username him and dogs

username okay but tessa>>>>

harryholland64 no one can top my girl tessa

username heart eyes

username not me crying over this

username y/n and tom>>>>

username i really hope tom and y/n are dating, they'd be so good together

username ❣️❣️❣️

chrisevans bad move tom

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liked by y/n_, hazosterfield, robertdowneyjr and 4,629,971 others

tomholland2013 no thoughts just her

tagged y/n_

126,729 comments

username omg

username is this a confirmation?!

username awwww

y/n_ mind empty but there's you

-> tomholland2013 you flatter me

username 🤍🤍🤍

username yup, still not over harry and y/n

username honest fuck everyone who think that harry was better for y/n, they broke up for a reason. move tf on and let her be happy

username them>>>

username YESSSSS

zendaya same ❣️ i love her

samholland1999 we know, you texted the gc at around 4 in the morning about how much her eyes shine in the sunlight

username lmfao not sam exposing tom

username 🛐🛐

tuwaine yes we know you heart eyes for her

username ❤️❤️❤️

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liked by mitchrowland, louist91, zayn and 4,729,825 others

harrystyles hate me if it helps out now. hope you all like it x

125,729 comments

username great, im crying again

username "just please make sure i do see you once in a while on my phone, signalling you're happy, make sure you say hello every other day, even if it's for a while, you don't have to stay" </3

username y/n released a fucking album about heartbreaking and harry was moving on. now she's moved on and he's releasing a heartbreak song

louist91 no words 🤍 it's beautiful

username omg

username "i'm afraid you'll never really leave me but i don't think i mind" is such a raw line

niallhoran AMAZING

username 🛐🛐🛐

username crying again in the bathroom

username but i genuinely like tom and y/n and together, she's so much happier

mitchrowland 💕💕💕

username "i'd like to think we ended up nicely, that you didn't curse out my name leaving me standing"

username </3

zayn !!!!

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liked by zendaya, tomholland2013, samholland1999 and 4,529,926 others

y/n_ my favourite in these photos and yes, it's tessa not my boyfriend

tagged tomholland2013

157,829 comments

username IWKSHDBSKZKKS

username SCREAMING THROWING UP

username WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

username YESSS YESSS FUCK YESSS

tomholland2013 i am wounded darling, i thought i was your favourite

-> y/n_ you are but bring tessa into the picture and then it's her ofc

username OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

username so happy for them <3

username kinda feeling bad for harry

username fuck harry, tom and y/n>>>

samholland1999 YESS, I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS

harryholland64 i honesty didn't know you were both smashing bodies

username HARRY-

username the only harry we stan in this house in harryholland64

zendaya FUCK YESSSS 🤍

tuwaine fucking finally!! so happy for my kids <33

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[pbnjparker]

all i wanted was you | t. holland

an: dedicated to @iovebug​ i really tried my best to get it to match the song u sent me but then i got sidetracked teehee (sowwy) i started to put my feelings into this fic :,) hope u all enjoy this angsty fic :) and a big ˗ˏˋ THANK YOU ˊˎ- to @darling-im-moonstruck​ for helping me brainstorm ideas! 

pairing: tom holland x fem!reader

GOD WHAT WOULD YOU DO to relive the days where your love for eachother flourished. Where you didn’t have to walk on eggshells around Tom; where you could just smile for endless days rather than cry for endless nights. You longed for a relationship that had mutual love; you just wanted to be loved.

It was a cold winter day when things started to go wrong; Tom had just gotten back from doing press for his latest movie. He was grouchy and upset after countless interviews and wanted nothing more than to be in his bed. You did everything possible to make sure he felt comfortable in his own home, making his favorite food and dessert. You simply asked him how his day had gone and was met with pure terror.

This wasn’t the Tom you had fallen in love with; he sent you home with tears that night and while you hoped it was the last to ever happen, it wasn’t. It felt like everything you did, Tom had to approve and if he didn’t like it, well you knew the consequences. There would be times where you’d be fine for a couple hours and then suddenly you were fighting for hours. You hated yourself for letting him control you and everything you did.

And at some point this became the new normal for you and as fucked up as it sounds it all became a fun game for you. Would you get happy and lovey Tom or would you get the side you hated the most? And all you could do is just sit there and take it all. Cause no matter how hard you tried to fight him; you’d still end up losing. Wondering if he still loved you after all the hatred he spoke; if there was an ounce of him that regretted speaking to you the way he did.

Any right minded person would leave in a heartbeat; to avoid all the pain inflicted from the words that are so loosely tossed around. A part of you wanted to leave. Leave this all behind, leave him behind but you couldn’t and wouldn’t. Because all these emotions you felt were because of him and you wouldn’t do anything to lose that and lose him cause afterall, you had hoped he would go back to the lovely brown-haired curly boy you loved. To the boy you hoped to marry someday.

But all you could do now is just wait for that time to come; wait for him to come back to you.

[naturallytom]

2,4,12 simple Angst with tom

love ur writinggg

2: "please don't hide from me"

4: "i won't hurt you"

12: "i know that you're scared"

tw: hints of past bad relationships, one swear word at the end

very angsty blurb weekend

You weren't used to this feeling. It was different but familiar and that scared you, enough to distance yourself from the one person who probably should know about the feeling.

Love.

Being with Tom made your heart flutter and race and you loved him, you were sure of it. You often times found yourself focusing on every detail of his face when the two of you would watch a movie together. How his nose scrunched up when he laughed or how his brown eyes would fill up with tears at a sad scene, though he tried to hide it. You noticed how he would silently pull you closer if you were crying quietly and didn't want him to know. It was his wordless way of comforting you and providing support even when you didn't reach out.

He was patient with you. Relationships hadn't been great for you in the past so you wanted to take things slow, and he fully supported that. He went at your pace and took things slow, until you got more comfortable around him. Comfortable enough to cuddle, to kiss him, to text him cute messages when you went to work before he woke up in the mornings, enough to open up about your past relationships that left you so guarded.

Which is why he found it odd that he hadn't heard from you in three days. He knew you needed your space, he respected that but this was worrying him. So he found himself outside your apartment one evening, his heart racing and a pit in his stomach while his brain was telling them both to calm down, that there was surely a rational explanation for your abscence.

He knocked twice, and would have believed you weren't home if he didn't hear you shuffle to the door to check who it was.

"y/n?" He asked, resting his hand on the door. "Are you okay? I'm worried about you, love."

"'M fine." The muffled response came from beyond the door and he knew you weren't fine.

"Hey, c'mon. Please don't hide from me." He pleaded. "I want to tell you something."

That caught your attention and you opened the door, eyes wide and full of fear.

"What is it?" You asked, pleading for it not to be the three words you dreaded so much.

"Uh, I, well, see I've felt this way for a while and I just think now is a good time to say it, I, um, I love you." He finally blurted out, your body going numb. "I know that you're scared but I want you to know how I feel and that you don't have to answer right away if you don't want to."

You felt the same way, of course, but the last times you had this exchange the relationships went downhill after the first "I love you" and you didn't want that happening with Tom. So you opted to push him away.

"I think you should go." You spoke quietly. "And I'm not scared. I'm just being realistic. Once this happens, the relationship goes downhill. It's happened before."

"I won't hurt you, y/n. I promise I won't." He said, his voice just as soft as yours.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I can keep this one, y/n. I'm certain of it." He tried to assure you. He could see he was starting to get through to you when your body loosened up a little bit, though you tried to keep up the tough exterior.

"What if you can't?" You asked, voice seemingly quieter than before.

"Then....then you can hate me. Hurt me back. Whatever you want." He told you, though the thought of you hating him made his heart ache.

"I dunno, Tom." You sighed.

"Please?" One look at his eyes told you he was being sincere and you caved.

"One chance. If you fuck up, I'm done for good."

[itstaskeen]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑 ↬ 𝐭.𝐡

*gif, not mine!! ˗ˏˋ tom holland x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ⏤ Let’s join our lovers in their magical conquest beyond life and death as they fight for their love unravelling dark mysteries of the past along their way.

𝐰𝐜 ⏤  547

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ⏤ none really

𝐀/𝐍⏤ guys  i seriously advise if you have not read first sin part1 and part2 dont read this read part 1 and part 2 first or else you wont understand anything

*Tom told called her and told her that he needed to talk to her* TIME SKIP *toms pov* I pressed the doorbell as its sound scattered around the house. She came out of her apartment with new clothes. She wore a white crop top, baggy jeans, a leather jacket and combat boots like she was going to a concert and was wishing to stomp on some people. 

“ Hey, ” I greeted her She popped a bubble in her mouth. “ Mum, going out! ” From somewhere her mother said something I couldn't hear probably something like, “he might be a kidnapper, ” She closed the door and regarded me, “ hey so what did u want to talk about, ” T: Uh not here could we talk somewhere more private like the small park nearby that I saw while coming here Y/N: yeah people rarely go there Y/N: come on then The walk there was silent. *After arriving at the park* Y/n: so what did u wanna tell me T: first question will you believe me Y/N: yes I will tom (she said with a smile) T: I know it's hard to believe but Y/n: go on ill believe you T: i-i I am an angel Y/n: I know you are T: w-what Y/N: you are an angel I mean you are kind T: no no no T: y/n I meant an actual angel from heaven T: today I came down from heaven and disguised my wings Y/N: wait for real Y/N: like an actual angel like gods saint with actual wings T: yes I am Y/N: omg you are an actual angel T: wait you believed me this easily Y/N: yes I mean I always believed in angels I knew they were always there T: I need your help Y/n: whats wrong T: I lost my wings Y/n: wait-what how T: so I talked to God a few mins ago Y/n: you talked to god T: yes and he said that the only way  an angel can lose its wings is by showing any form of support, devotion, falling in love with the Devil or anybody who supports or is related to the Devil Y: so who related to the devil did you fall in love with after coming into the mortal world T: no one I have been here for like 3hrs and I have only met you Y/N: well for ur continence I am not related to the devil Y/n: my parents are dead I live with my foster parents T: I know that T: god said it might be a mistake Y/n: so how do you get your wings back now T: I have to go on a quest with a companion Y/n: explain T:*looking at his phone* so according to the thing that you mortals call google a quest is a long life-risking mission usually taken by two or more people to accomplish a goal. Y/n: so whos gonna be your companion T: that's what I wanted to ask you will you help me get my wings back Y/n: sure T: wait you will actually go with me on a life-risking adventure just to get my wings back Y/n: yea sure it's not like I have anything better to do anyway

𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ⏤ @adriannajackson​ @antigoneidk​

TAGLIST

[ptersparkers]

hii ! please could you write a FFH imagine where y/n almost gets killed by mysterio and pete highkey freaks out . fluff & angst por favor ! hehe 😂

far from home spoilers!

also i’m sorry this was not angsty at all KAJKAJL.

***

“Oh Jesus,” Peter muttered to himself. “You’re so stubborn.”

You couldn’t hear him. He was up swinging on the London Bridge as you decided to help your fellow students out instead of running out of the way to save yourself. You then looked at passengers in cars beside you and noticed that quite a few people had a hard time leaving their vehicle.

Whatever the reason, he was happy you wanted to help but annoyed that you would risk your life to save others. But he couldn’t really complain because he was doing the same thing.

You, of course, didn’t know his alias and Peter felt his heart swoon when he realized that you cared so much for other people, despite being an American in a foreign country. He swung down and tried his best to avoid the scrambling strangers down on the bridge as he made his way to you.

“Y/N, get out now!” he yelled, not caring that you hadn’t know he was Spider-Man calling you by your name.

“Spider-Man? What are you doing in London?”

He groaned and looked at your confused face (which was adorable) but wanted you out of the way before you got hurt.

“Hold on!” he yelled before grabbing you by the waist and swinging you into the air. But before he could get you to land safely, Mysterio’s android has nearly burnt you alive.

“Oh, fuck!” Peter swore. You yelled in his face which caught him by surprise and he lost his balance, falling onto the ground below him but was thankful you both weren’t too high up.

“Oh my god,” he said. He sat you on the pavement and cupped your jaw, looking to see if you were hurt. “Are you okay? Do I need to get you to a hospital? Oh Jesus Christ, this is all my fault and I should’ve just let you do what you were doing.”

“Peter?” you asked. He didn’t even care that you had guessed.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked once more. He didn’t take his mask off but nodded and felt the suppressed feelings for your best friend ride again.

“Y-Yeah,” you said out of pure shock.

He sighed and then told you to go back to MJ and make sure everyone else was alright.

Although, he knew you’d have questions for him later.

[hollandroos]

ooooh 8 w tom pls!! :')

Saying I love you as an apology

“I want you to leave.” You manage to get out. You don’t know how you do it, because up until now you’d been a mess of sobs and sniffles and airy breaths. 

You don’t know how you do, not when he’s staring across at you with so much remorse and sadness. Not when your mind is screaming at you to forgive him and welcome him back in with open arms and not when your heart is beating against your chest like a drum telling you that you were about to make the worst decision of your life.

Usually, you’d tremble at the sight of him looking so distraught. You’d hurry to put the kettle on and usher him over to the couch where you’d cover him in a woollen blanket. 

Tom shakes his head, loose strands of hair falling over teary eyes. “Don’t do this.” He begs. “You don’t have to do this.”

He can see you fighting with yourself and he can only imagine the words running through your brain right now. Truly it was a mess, one big whirlpool of you trying to decide what the best thing to do was. What would any other girl in your state do? will he really promise not to do it again? Will forgiving him help?

“I do have to do this.” You grit your teeth and step towards him only once but then halt, as if your feet were anchors keeping you in your place, grounded. But you craved him. He could drag you to the very pits of hell and you’d still want him.

“I love you.” He tries. “Please, I love you.”

And for a moment you believe him because he sounds so sincere. Then you remember that he wasn’t sincere when he told you he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you or that you were the girl he’d been waiting for– and he wasn’t sincere when he told you he was just going away for a few days to film.

“You don’t love me, you love the thought of me.” You correct, because if he loved you then you wouldn’t be where you were now. “Don’t tell yourself… not even once that you love me, because you don’t.” You shudder, fingers snaking up the sleeves of your hoodie. “You only think you love me now that you’re about to lose me.”

[hotsterfield]

I logged back onto tumblr

I’ve been on tumblr for the first time in a while, and I’m so overwhelmed by all of the messages I’ve gotten. It has really made me speechless to see so many people taking the time to send me a message. (I’ll answer all of them when I get the time!)

Honestly, I’m living life to the fullest at the moment. I’ve been bungy jumping, river rafting and canyoning just to mention a few things.

I always started writing a bit again. I did write something, that I think I might share with you guys. It’s not a fanfic, but it’s very personal to me, so the thought of sharing it is a bit scary, but it’s a good scary.

I do feel like writing, and I have a few hours tomorrow where I can write blurbs, so feel free to fill up my inbox!

I’ll try my best to become active on here again, even if it’s just me reblogging stuff! (So I’ll most likely go and follow a bunch of blogs now, so feel free to come with suggestions?).

To sum it all up: hi! Let’s have a “Ri returned to tumblr blurb party!”

[anxiousstark]

CEO!tom denying you as his soulmate? I need angstttt

I made it a little different maybe? There’s no tattoos or dates! I wanted to try and be a little original. Hope you all still like the idea!

An earring.

All were born with a silver earring in their left ear, and in it, there was an unrepeatable drawing. Only two people would be able to have that drawing, those people would be considered soulmates.

You lowered your dress, trying to hide a little more skin that was exposed due to a short black dress that one of your friends had forced you to wear. Zendaya, who by the way had already found her soulmate, had decided to make you go to a nightclub with her to dance, and even though you hated this kind of places, you still accompanied her.

Making room for you to walk among the people of the club, you couldn’t help thinking about who would be your soulmate. With 21 years old, most people had found their other half, the person with whom they would share their lives until death separated them.

You smiled as you remembered the stories your mother told you about how she had met your father. The drawing embedded in your mother’s earring was a white sun because all the drawings were white until after finding their soulmate because a red light would come out of the drawing.

Your mother told you how nervous she felt when thinking she wouldn’t find hers, or that maybe they wouldn’t get along and wouldn’t fall in love with each other. But she was wrong because at the same moment she had seen your father, their earrings lit up, showing that both had a sun on it. Soulmates.

You had heard stories that were scary, like those in which someone didn’t make the right decisions in life to be able to meet their soulmate, as if it were a game.

You heard about Mr Gogh, a man who ended up cutting his left ear, it was the only way to get rid of the earring. It is impossible to remove it in any other way.

In your earring, the drawing was the outline of a wave, and you couldn’t feel more nervous and desire to know who would have the same drawing as you.

Your thoughts were interrupted when upon colliding with someone, your drink ended up in that person’s white T-shirt and suit. “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.“ Raising your head to see that person, you didn’t have time to examine his face because a red light dazzled you.

The people who were around stopped dancing and drinking, attentive to the man and you because there was nothing more beautiful than seeing two soulmates meet for the first time.

When the light stopped dazzling both your eyes and his, you both looked each other up and down. A smile appeared on your face, thinking that that person was attractive and that the moment you wanted so much had finally arrived.

You extended your hand, introducing yourself. The man grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly to the point where it started to hurt, and it was at that moment that you realized that he didn’t seem very happy and that his jaw was completely tense. “My name is Tom.” He pressed harder. “And I don’t want a soulmate.”

The music stopped sounding, or maybe you were too shocked after hearing those words that you weren’t able to hear properly. Even so, you were able to listen to the whispers of the people who were at the bar. You were able to hear the curiosity and the fear they felt towards you. Well everyone knew how important and wonderful it was to have a soul mate.

“Dude.” A blond boy appeared next to Tom, offering him some pieces of wipes to go through his shirt. “We already talked about this. Try at least to get to know her.”

Your soulmate shook his head. “No.” He rubbed his shirt trying to make at least the smell of alcohol come out of that Saint Laurent shirt. “I don’t want a relationship or get married or have children, I don’t want any of that, all I need is my job and my family.” His eyes were on you.“But we are soulmates.” You looked at him and said, “Maybe if we started getting to know each other a bit better or-”

Tom shook his head. His eyes returned to yours, trying to ignore that despite not wanting a soulmate, his chest throbbed strongly.

“I.” He swallowed. “Tom Holland, reject you as my soul mate.” Without caring about the tears that were beginning to form in your eyes, he began to walk, leaving the club, his friend behind him.

“Babe?” Zendaya appeared in the crowd, having seen what happened and wanting to hold you. “Are you okay?”

You looked around, all eyes on you. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was when you felt like the earring opened, falling to the ground. People whispered in surprise, thinking that this was simply a legend.

If someone was rejected by their soulmate, the earring would fall, losing the drawing and the ability to be placed on the ear again.

SHORT SERIES BASED ON THIS

Permanent taglist:

@emilyackles // @supernaturallover2002 // @marvelismylifffe // @notimeforthemessenger // @og-baby-ob14 // @peter-parkers-pizza // @quackson-queen // @allofthebitters // @isthisnotit // @hollandandi // @lemondropirwin​

[yourtomwritings]

Talking to the Moon - One Shot T.H.

A/N: Hi guys! So this is a one shot based off of the song Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars. It’s my first time writing anything this angsty, so I hope you all like it! I recommend listening to the song while reading: https://youtu.be/lIaDtfplmyQ

Word count: 749

Warning(s): Angst, angst, angst

Tom jolted from his slumber with his heart beating out of his chest, his palms clammy from the dream he had just experienced. He shifted his position on the bed slightly and pushed himself up into a sitting position with his back against the headboard. With a shaky hand, he gently ran his fingers through his hair, trying to make some sense of what just happened. He fluttered his eyes closed as he took a deep breath trying (and failing) to think better thoughts.

You smiled from ear to ear giggling at something Tom had said to you. His chocolate brown eyes scanned over your face, taking in your beautiful features, almost as if he was scared he’d never see them again. Slowly he placed his hand on your cheek, running his calloused thumb back and forth.

You giggled once more, standing on your tippy toes in order to barely place a small kiss on his porcelain colored round cheeks. As you did so Tom smiled his famous award winning smile that you’ve always loved.

Not knowing what to do, Tom snatched his phone off of his bedside table in order to check the time. His phone’s screen illuminated the entire room, making him squint his eyes to focus on the time that read: 4:13 AM. Outside was still dark but he decided to go for a jog anyway, anything to get his mind off of you. He threw on whatever clothes he could find first and made his way outside in the dark gloomy weather.

“Y/N, I never loved someone as much as I have with you. I don’t ever want you to leave me, darling. I love you too much.” Tom breathed out, confessing his deepest fears to the one girl he trusted with his entire being.

“You never have to worry about that, Tom. I love you so much, I promise I will never leave you.” You spoke softly as he leaned his forehead on yours.

Streets begin to pass in a blur as Tom wipes away the tears that begin to fall as his vision becomes cloudy. There was only one thing on his mind every day, every single fucking moment of everyday- and it was you. He couldn’t get you out of his head no matter how hard he tried. You were are the love of his life and his heart felt like it shattered more and more every time he thought of you.

He choked out a cry, feeling a lump in his throat beginning to make it harder to breathe. Tom’s chest began to heave up and down, trying to control his uneven breathing. Small wheezes escaped his lips as he fell down to his knees on the short virescent grass, completely breaking down in guttural sobs.

There wasn’t anywhere in the world the two of you would rather be in this very moment. Being in each other’s arms were your favorite places because it made you both feel safe and loved. Tom had you pulled tightly against his chest, his chin resting against the crook of your neck.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Tom blurted out of nowhere. His heart pounded wondering if he shouldn’t have said anything, slightly beginning to regret it.

“You do?” You asked arching an eyebrow, turning your head back to look at his worried filled face. “Are you sure you can handle me forever, darling?”

“I wouldn’t want anything else more.”

Tom wiped away the last few tears with the hem of his white t-shirt as they fell from his tear stained cheeks. He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, his shoulders slumping with defeat. He moved from his knees and shifted onto his bottom, sitting with his legs criss-cross.

“Why’d you have to leave me, Y/N? You promised you would never leave me. I haven’t been able to sleep, eat, or function without you in my life. You were my rock, my everything…” He whispered out, his fingers playing with the grass beneath him. “I love you, darling I always will. Nothing could ever change that.”

Tom let one last tear fall from his chestnut colored eyes, that were now red and puffy. Looking up to the somber sky, he saw the moon shining down on him. He placed his hand in front of him and ran his fingers along your gravestone.

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m talking to the moon.”

[heartbreakerholland]

aftermath pt. 3 [pp]

A/N: omggg idk how i feel about it but tbh i teared up while writing it but maybe it's just me who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyways i hope you guys enjoy!

Word Count: 2.8k+

Summary: The five stages of grief. It's your funeral day.

Warnings: A little swearing, very sad and angsty!peter bc i know u guys like that shit for some reason, description of a dead body kinda

[master list] [pt. 1] [pt. 2] [pt. 4] [pt. 5]

•••

2. Anger

Your funeral was a month after you died, it taking so long mainly because your boyfriend refused it to take place. If you had a funeral, if Peter had to sit through the service and listen to speeches about your life and see all the others in black, crying just like him? That would mean you were actually dead. That would mean Peter would have to accept it, which he didn't want because he knew you weren't.

The day of the funeral was on yours and Peter's 2 year anniversary, May 2nd. (As if it couldn't get any worse, he thought.) Nobody had to convince him to go, surprisingly enough. He didn't want to at first, but the night before, when he was looking at the stars in search of you, realization dawned on him that he had to. He had to see you again. He had to know if he was right or if you were actually dead.

The only strange thing that happened on that day was Peter was the only person who didn't cry. He cried every day and every night, but not then. Instead, he was empty and moved like a zombie, going through the motions but never fully there. He was woken by a grim Tony, who previously had to prepare himself for whatever mess Peter became in your room, which he surprisingly wasn't.

Peter got up, climbed out of your too empty bed, and got dressed. Just as anyone would. He ate breakfast, got in the car that carried all the other Avengers, and stared at the freshly shoveled dirt in the cemetery where everyone sat in front of. There was a 6-foot deep, perfectly rectangular hole next to the open casket with your body laying in it. It was a sunny day, as if the weather was a slap on the face to Peter, pretending this wasn't one of the worst days of his life.

He felt nothing. He stared at your casket and listened as the speakers spoke. He was surrounded by waterfalls of tears coming from every eye but his, with mountains of used tissues accompanying them. He joined the others occasionally, laughing when others laughed when someone spoke of a memory they had of you, though no one knew his chuckles were out of bitterness.

How could they talk about you like you're not here anymore? Peter would ask himself. How could they be willing to say these things just so they can finally forget it? How could they be willing to forget you?

He didn't want to hear the people trying to be a fake deep, releasing their memories of you so others could cry about different memories. He looked around the back of the crowd, seeing cameras for the news and tabloids. You were open about your identity, yeah, but he knew the press was there just to write stupid articles for money, not because they actually cared. Everyone was fake, only at the funeral for their own benefit.

That's when Peter realized how angry he was at everyone, including you and himself. He realized how much you meant to so many people, yet everyone had a different version of you in their life.

You were just the superhero to citizens and cities you've saved, with cool superpowers nobody really knew how to explain and frankly didn't actually care, as long as you did the dirty work. You were the media's favorite person to write about, always being glamorized as the best Avenger because you were the youngest or the worst Avenger for the same reason and whatever else they could pull out their asses. You were a hero that some people labelled as a lifesaver, because you did that so much. Peter knew those you've individually saved became superfans for their superhero, because you meant just that much.

You were the second teenager Tony Stark took in as a mentee, though he came to love you as his own kid just like Peter. You were another girl for Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper to bond with when the guys became too much, always able to talk about even the smallest problems together. You were the comedic girl that Thor loved to joke around with yet also have deep talks with, especially because you were the only other person besides Peter and Vision that could wield mjolnir. You were the oddly intelligent girl that Bruce loved to work on projects with, the girl that somehow mastered archery when she practiced with Clint, the girl that had the patience to hold a genuine conversation with Vision.

You were someone special to everybody, and that's what Peter hated the most. He hated that there were versions of you that he's never met and never will, and he hated the fact that he hated it. You weren't just Peter's Y/N, you were a different Y/N to your parents and the Avengers and the citizens you've saved. You even had a place as a different Y/N to past teachers, bus drivers you've thanked, classmates you've smiled to in the halls. You even had your own version of Y/N. Did anybody even know you as a whole? Did Peter ever know you? Did you allow Peter to know you, or just what you wanted him to know?

How could you have left him when there was still so much about you that he didn't know?

People standing up from their seats and walking away brought Peter out of his thoughts. The service had ended. After everyone said their goodbyes to your body and each other, it was only your boyfriend and teammates left. He stood frozen in front of his chair, watching them go up to your casket one by one, hearing them whisper their final goodbyes to you.

Peter no longer felt empty. He was enraged.

Tony walked up to him, eyes uncharacteristically red and puffy. "Hey, Pete," he pat him on the back, rubbing Peter's back as if he were trying to silently comfort the boy. After thinking of how to phrase his next question, Tony asked, "Are you gonna go see her?"

That set him off. "That's it?" Peter directed not just to Tony but the others as well, poison in those two words.

Tony looked taken aback. "Whaddya mean, kid?" he asked slowly.

Peter scoffed. "That's it?" he gestured towards your casket, with a couple of the others still muttering to each other. "You're just gonna accept it? You're all just gonna sit here and cry, then talk to Y/N as if she's actually gone?" He didn't want to say "dead." He couldn't.

Tony sighed, tearing up again but not allowing them to escape his eyes. "Peter," he paused, though the boy wasn't sure if it was for him or Tony himself. "She is gone. I'm-"

"No!" Peter's voice raised, bringing the attention to their friends, but frankly, he didn't care. They needed to hear it too. "You're all just going to talk to her one more time and that's the end of it? You're not gonna try to bring her back? You're not-"

"Peter," he cut him off, then sat on a random chair and signaled the teenager to as well. He kept his hand on the boy's back, thinking of what to say and how to stay patient. "I'm about to say the corniest stuff that comes out of movies, just as much as some brutal honesty, but you've gotta listen and understand, okay?"

Peter gave a short nod in response, staring at his hands while both their elbows rested on their knees.

Tony sighed, continuing. "Look, kid. I'm sorry to say, I really am, but she's actually dead. Y/N  Y/L/N is dead," his voice cracked at that sentence, but he went on. "And trust me, I know how much you want there to be a way for her to just un-die, but you can't do that. You heard Strange. He spent an entire week's worth of time to find a way to keep her alive, but there was no way out of it. He had to realize that and he couldn't do anything about it. Nobody can. You have to do the same."

Peter stared at Tony, finally letting out the first wave of tears for the day.

His mentor continued, "I know it's hard, Pete. I know you're waiting for the day she comes back. I know you probably want to be in the same position she is right now. I know that you feel lost and that a part of you probably died with her. Trust me. I know. Maybe a part of you did die with her. But you know what? A part of all of us died with her. We all had our own experiences with her, and it might not hurt as much, and I know you probably feel a little different because you know that you're hurting the most. We all know you are. But she would want you to move on. She said it herself, remember?"

Peter nodded, still silent despite the fact that Tony's words reminded him of the Spidey suit recording everything. Of course he remembered; he rewatched your death every day.

Tony sighed again, rubbing his face with the palm of his hand. "Look, point is, I get it. It hurts. You're hurting. You wish she weren't dead and you probably blame the hell out of yourself for not being able to save her, but nobody could. We all have to deal with that fact. But you can't turn back time, you can't make a deal with the devil, you can't use some black magic to bring her back. All you can do is remember her and remember how she made you feel and how you made her feel, and everyone sure as hell knows you made her the happiest she ever could have been. But she's dead. And the only way she'll really still be alive is from your memory and everyone else's, not from you pretending this never happened. Do you get what I'm saying here?"

Your boyfriend sighed then nodded in response, but only for Tony's sake so he wouldn't be pestering anymore. Tony's speech had hardly any affect on Peter. If anything, it only made him angrier. "Can you-" Peter started, gulping a lump in his throat that he didn't know was there. "Can you give me a minute?" He gestured towards your casket, signaling he wanted to talk to you.

Tony nodded. "Take your time, kid." With that, he motioned for the others to join him back in the car.

Peter walked up to you, suddenly aware at how long it's been since the two of you had been alone together. He never wanted it to be like this, whatever this was. He stood frozen, staring at your lifeless body, still secretly hoping you would give him any sign that you were alive or at least had been listening to him after all this time.

He opened his mouth as if he were about to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, he firmly placed his hands at the edge of the casket, his knuckles turning white from his grip. He stared at you just like he'd been ever since he arrived to the cemetery. Your eyes were closed, hands resting one on top of the other over your unmoving stomach. Your hair was the same length and color as it was before, oddly having not grown in the month Peter hasn't seen you. You were wearing a dress that Peter was asked to pick, which of course he knew you would have loved. (The two of you had planned your wedding, including what you'd wear, after all.) Flowers of all kinds framed your body inside, adding some color to your abnormally pale skin. You looked beautiful.

You looked dead.

"Hey, babe," he said casually, though his voice immediately cracked and he couldn't get the stupid fucking lump in his throat to get out. He didn't know what to say to you until he decided he would just say everything, so he pulled up a chair in order to sit next to you. His forearms rested on the edge of the opening of the casket, hands clasped together as he kept staring at you because God he couldn't just stop.

He took a deep breath. "Y/N, I-" his voice cracked again. "Y/N. I am so sorry. You're gone but I can't admit that you're dead. Well, until just now." He chuckled nervously at that, as if it were a regular conversation between the two of you. "I failed you and I just-" he stopped in frustration. His eyebrows furrowed and his hands clenched. "I'm sorry, okay?" he said angrily. "I hate myself so much for not being able to save you. I could have done one simple thing that wouldn't have put either of us in these positions."

His tears were flowing, though the boy couldn't feel it. He was just so angry, the feeling overpowering all his other senses to make him furious at everything. "I hate myself so much for not telling you I love you one last time. I don't think I ever even showed you or proved to you how much I do love you. But now-" God will his voice stop fucking betraying him? "Now it's too late. I regret it so much. You'll never know how much I cared about you and loved you and wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and-" another sob choked him up. "Why did you leave me?"

He put his head in his hands, the sobs overtaking his shaking body. "I'm sorry, love, but I just- I don't-" He took another breath, rethinking his next words as he looked back at you. "I was thinking earlier," he tried speaking normally again, as if you could actually listen. "While people were talking about some glamorized bullshit about your life, yaknow? And I know they're hurting too, but hearing them talk like that was disgusting. It's like they brought up a moment you shared with them, but they emphasized everything as if you meant the world to them but in reality they probably never thought about you or cared about you until now, just because you're dead. They don't get it. You're my world. They don't fucking get it and it's like a slap in the face. I don't want to think of you and be sad like this. I don't want to see pictures of us and only get sad when I'm supposed to be happy about our memories. I don't want there to be a day where I forget your scent and your laugh and how you felt when we kissed or held hands or hugged or even high-fived." He realized his voice rose from being so mad, so he softened it as he continued. "I just wish we had more time. I wanted to get to know you even though I know you'd insist you let me know everything there is to know. I wanted to get married and have kids and pets and buy a house. You promised we would do that. You promised. Why did you have to break your promise? Why did you have to leave me?"

He put his head back down, hands pulling at his hair as his face scrunched up with his loud cries. "Y/N,"  he muttered, then looked up to you again. "Y/N. Babe, love, darling, honey." He had to get the names out. He had to call you it all, one more time. "Y/N. You were the love of my life. You are the love of my life. Why did you go?"

Peter Parker was defeated. He sat there, crying for who knows how long, a hand slightly touching yours but it felt so wrong because you were cold and didn't move and you were physical proof that you just weren't alive anymore. He would never feel your warmth again, or hear the softness in your voice on quiet nights or the agitated yells when you argued with him. He would never feel how your hair felt when he ran his fingers through them or how you would admire paintings and books and music. He hated all of it.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. You told me to, but I can't move on, and I'm sorry." He pulled a picture out of his pocket, looking at the two of you happily frozen in place. He made a copy of the photo earlier because he wanted you to have it while he had the original. He placed it between your hands, so you were holding it. You died loving him, and so he wanted to make sure the frozen love went with you, wherever you'd go. "I love you so much. You'll never know. But I do. I always will. I do."

•••

tagged: @thollandtrash

[parkers-gal]

Tom x reader where reader wants to move out & live with Tom only (not with boys). Tom doesn’t want to move out, maybe Nikki has a talk with him

the one T.H.

➢ a / n | went a lil overboard, heh, but enjoy this ! sorry it took a lil while :,(

➢ wc | 2.5k <3

｡☆✼★━━ requests are closed ━━★✼☆｡

There’s too many dishes in the sink, you note. There’s so many, that they won’t all fit for one load in the dishwasher. It’s a pain, and you know nobody in this house has the patience to wait for two full loads to carry through, so you have to hand wash half of them and allow the whirring machine to do the other half.

If this were a romantic comedy, you’d have Tom standing next to you and you’d hold hands under the suds while you wash the dishes together and chat about your future. This isn’t a rom-com, though. In fact, you don’t even know where the boys are right now. You were certain they went into the den to play Call Of Duty — or whatever it is that they play — but then you thought they went into the backyard with Tessa, but now you’ve just given up on figuring their whereabouts.

Not that you’re angry at Tom for not helping, though. He did the laundry with you earlier, so you’re content with his keeping end of the deal. It’s the other four that you’re a bit fed up with. Sam had just recently joined the Holland-Osterfield-Barrett household of mates, and while you’re all the more happy to welcome him in, it also means more work. There’s a chore schedule, but sometimes someone has work in a town or a country away, and the gaps in the schedule are only ever left for you to fill.

It’s tough, considering you have your own job, but you’re content with the situation — for now. You have Tom, the love of your life, and you have the best people of your life - Harry, one of your closest confidants, and Harrison, one of your partners in crime.

There’s a lot of baggage that comes with being the only woman in a household of boys that practically grew up with each other. You love Tessa with all your heart, but it’s not like you can really gossip to her about your day.

You’re not too worried about everything, anyway. The second anniversary of your relationship with Tom is coming up; it’s only a few months away, and though you’ve been pondering the idea for awhile, you’re thinking of getting a place with Tom, on your own, without the nagging and intruding fellow in-laws (to-be, hopefully).

Six weeks, today marks, for how long you’ve been thinking about the idea, debating whether it’s valid enough to bring up to Tom, deciding when the best time to talk to him would be. He’s a hard man to navigate — getting a spot in his busy schedule is like fighting to the front of a One Direction mosh-pit. That makes it practically impossible.

But, you’re Y/N. You’re his sweetheart, his darling, his weakness. You’re the most important person in his life, and when you want to have a serious conversation with him, Tom’s all ears and eyes, attentive and caring, understanding and, hopefully, supportive.

You’re hoping it won’t take much convincing — he’s lived with these people all his life, and if it’s truly hard for him to decide, you’ll know what he really wants then.

Ringing out a few glass cups, you let them dry on a dish rack that sits on the countertop. The buzzing and whirring of the dishwasher alerts you that it’s still happily running, and you walk towards the glass sliding doors that lead to the patio and backyard. Peering out, you see all four housemates and Paddy, playing with a frisbee and wrestling with Tessa and messing around with a rugby ball on the trampoline. They look like kindergarteners on the playground, and you decide then to bring them some lemonade like a mother in summertime.

“Hope you’re all a bit thirsty,” you set the tray down with a warm smile. Sam shuts his book of poetry to smile up at you from his seat. He’s been reading for a good fifteen minutes, but you reckon he’ll hop on the trampoline when Harrison gets off. For now, he watches as the Irregulars star jumps happily with Tuwaine.

“Oh, sick,” Harry runs over with the frisbee still in his hands, reaching for a glass and taking a big gulp. Tessa’s at his feet, awaiting for the frisbee game to resume, and you pet her head for a moment before Tom runs over to you, hair matted to his forehead in sweat.

“You’re the best, love,” his hand finds the small of your back as he kisses your temple. You smile again, eyes shutting in bliss at the feeling of his lips, but his hand maneuvers you so he can reach for a glass without bumping into you.

One by one, they come over for refreshments, before picking up where they left off beforehand. Tom’s last to leave, wanting to talk to you before playing with his brothers again.

“Oh, I have to talk to you later,” you whisper, fingers tracing down his damp (sweaty) shirt with a giggle. Tom raises a brow, and you nod softly, “Just, when you have time. Now have fun,” you push him off, and though he’s still just as curious, he leaves you alone on the patio. Taking one last glance at the rowdy group of boys, you bring the tray of empty cups inside, sliding the door shut and sighing to yourself. More dishes to do.

——

Tom’s drying his hair with a purple bath towel when he comes out of the steamy bathroom. He sighs contentedly, before remembering your words from earlier. He brings it up, “What was it that you needed to talk to me about?”

He walks over to the dresser while you look up from your phone. You hum as Tom puts something away, and you shut the electronic device off, setting it on your nightstand and twisting to face his direction.

“I wanted to talk to you about… us, I guess.”

You see Tom’s movement slow, and he removes the towel from his damp curls, turning around hesitantly. You smile, waving him off, “Nothing bad, I promise.”

He lets out an inaudible “phew,” and nods. “Good.” You agree with a nod of your head, and he furthers on with the questions. “What is it, though? Is it something important?”

“I mean…” Tom places his towel on the rack before walking to the opposite side of the mattress “Sorta?” You offer, and you see the gears turn in his head. He sits down across from you, on the bed, and he smiles encouragingly, still a bit suspicious.

“Well, I’m all ears, darling.”

You smile at the familiar pet name, and with a final breath in, you admit what’s been in your head for the past few months. “I was thinking maybe we could… move out… without the boys.”

It’s dead quiet for a few beats while the words sink into his mind. You’re not sure how he’s going to react, but you watch to gauge his reaction.

His mouth opens, almost as if he’s about to say something, but then he closes it, as if he’d suddenly second guessed himself. For once, you truly can’t read him.

“I thought… I thought you liked living here?” he says softly, almost a bit saddened.

You sigh with your words, “I do! Really, I do, but…”

“But…?” He bites his lip.

“Well, I mean…” you exhale again, “We’ve been together for almost two years,” he’s still listening, “Don’t you think we should be a little more independent?”

“I mean, sure, if we were a normal couple.” He laughs at the joke, and while you do too, it’s not really genuine, but more forced for the awkward tension in the air. “I just thought you… y’know, enjoyed spending time with everyone.”

You nod understandingly. “I do, Tom. Really, I do. But… y’know, we’re not getting any younger. I just thought maybe it was time for us to get a place of our own.” It comes out as more of a suggestion, a question for him to respond to. You quietly bite your lip while Tom nods at the information he’s taking in.

He looks down at his fingers, before locking eyes with you. “Can I think about it?”

You shut your eyes softly while nodding. Tom blinks, before standing from the bed, giving you a kiss on the forehead and bidding farewell, heading downstairs for more quality time with his brothers.

——

It’s been a week since that conversation took place in your room. You didn’t think it’d go so… bad? You’re not sure if you should say that, because he didn’t exactly say “no,” he just didn’t seem enthusiastic about deciding at all.

It’s a quiet Saturday. You’re out bowling with a few of your friends, news of one of them getting engaged spreading like wildfire. She’s having a dinner party later, but for now, you’re keeping the meeting small, inviting your closest circle for the fun day at the bowling lanes.

Tom asked you if you wanted to reschedule the dinner with his family, but you insisted that arriving late would be fine. It’s only four o’clock — the Holland family likes to come for late lunch and spend the night playing games and drinking beer, until the clock strikes midnight and Paddy’s passing out in the backseat on the way back home.

At least now, only one Holland brother stays with the parents.

Somehow, someway, the conversation had shifted to you. Everyone’s gathered in the living room, scattered on sofas, couches, beanbags, armchairs, loveseats. Tom misses you at his side, but the conversation of how your work is going just reminds him of what you’d proposed a few days ago.

“How’re things with her in general, though?” Nikki, Tom’s mom, asks with a smile. The eyes shift towards Tom, and he can feel his face heating up.

“Yeah, how’re things with the lovebirds?” Harry teases.

Tom chuckles, anxiety bubbling in his stomach, twisting his. “Uh- they’re- they’re good, yeah,” he assures them, though shaky.

“You sure, there?” Harrison teases. “Did someone propose or something?”

“No, no,” Tom airily chuckles. “Nothing like that.” “Oh?” His dad picks up, “What, then?”

“She- uh…” he licks his lips out of habit. “She wants to move out. Find a place for us, she said.”

The tone in which Tom tells them lets them know that he’s a little less than enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. It’s something that raises a red flag for Nikki; it’s something that makes her brows furrow in confusion.

“Oh,” Sam breaks the silent. “I’m happy for you, bro,” he pats Tom’s shoulder.

Tom smiles, though it’s forced and a bit spaced out.

“What’re you gonna tell her?” Harry asks. “You want it too, right?”

Tom shrugs weakly. Nobody talks about his responses, his reactions. It’s all a bit unexpected, for Tom to not be on board with the next step of the relationship.

“I mean, I don’t know, really.” He confesses with a nervous laugh, running a hand through his curls. “I’d miss you all so much. I just… I don’t know, I guess I just thought she liked living here too, y’know.”

A collective number of “yeah’s” and “mhm’s” go around the room, and Tom nods nonchalantly before the conversation switches to something more exciting. For now, Nikki lets it go, just until she can get her eldest in a room by himself, and before you get home.

It’s when Tom’s getting snacks for the group that Nikki decides to offer her help in the kitchen. They’re just putting dinner in the oven and preparing appetizers, but still, any opportunity to talk to Tom.

“So,” Nikki smiles, and Tom giggles while she puts another slice of tomato on the dish they’re preparing. “Moving out, huh?”

Though her tone is teasing, Tom can’t help but get shivers. He nods, quieting down a bit. Nikki’s movements remain, but Tom stops working altogether. “I don’t want to move out.”

His mum turns to look at him, and she nods, almost as if anticipating the confession. “Why not?”

Tom clicks his tongue, looking down as if he’s ashamed of feeling this way. “I just like things the way they are right now. I know at some point, someone’s gonna move out and the clan’s gonna go our separate ways, but I don’t want to be the one to go first.”

At this, Nikki fully turns to talk to Tom, no longer making dinner. “Tom…” She wipes her hands on a kitchen towel, and Tom does the same. “You were the first to go, you know.”

His eyebrows pull together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she sighs, “Your career was first to take off. You ran out that door so fast, we couldn’t keep up.” Tom laughs, reminiscing to himself. “You’re going to keep growing,” she says softly. “You can’t stop that. You can’t stop everyone from growing apart. Sure, you might not grow apart, but you won’t always be this cute little boy band from your school days.”

“Not a boy band, mum,” Tom grumbles. The two of them share a knowing smile.

“You can’t blame yourself for growing, darling,” she steps closer, grabbing one of his hands just like he had grabbed hers the day he was first born. “You can’t expect to be the glue that holds this- this temporary situation together forever. You’re not a superhero,” the two of them laugh again, but then Tom nods knowingly, and Nikki can see a faint batch of tears spring in his eye sockets.

“No, I know, mum.” He sniffles. “I guess… I don’t know, i’ve just always been afraid of never being there when everything changes. I always come back and everyone’s a different person, just…” he searches for the words, “with the same faces.”

She nods, turning back to her dinner dish. Tom keeps his eyes trained on his hands, which are planted on the countertop.

“She loves you a lot, you know.” Nikki says after a few beats. “She just wants a bit of privacy, a bit of your relationship without your annoying brothers.”

“Annoying is right,” Tom teases. They laugh again. “Yeah, I guess I just never thought of that.” Nikki hums, and the kitchen grows silent for a few moments. “Thank you, mum.”

“For what?”

“Being there.” Tom replies. “You never gave up on me, and now… I don’t know. It means a lot to me that you’re helping me with something so important to me.”

Nikki’s eyes soften, and both of them tear up. She nods, this time breaking the silence again. “I know how much you love her,” She says quietly. “One day, she’ll be yours for forever. She’s the one — I can see it in both of your eyes.”

Tom sucks in a breath and wipes his eyes. “I know she’s the one, too.” He adds in another tomato to the dish. “She’s always been it for me.”

[traveller-lover-dreamer]

Heeeeeey so maybe you could do a blurb(maybe this is a ship idk im sorry hhh)with Peter where you’ve been dating and you just found out he’s Spider-Man on accident? Angsty but also fluffy bits all the way lmao

You had felt bad the entire day and you decided to go to your boyfriend’s place tonight, to change your mind about everything. As usual, you walked to his apartment and May let you in. She told you that he was out and that he was going to be back later but you decided to stay, knowing that just laying in his bed, taking in the smell of him, was going to help you feel better.

So you walked to his bedroom and got all comfortable on his bed before opening your cellphone to go watch a show on Netflix. 

As the first chords of the Office’s intro rang into your earphones, you started to wonder what Peter was doing. You knew he wasn’t with Ned since Ned had some family over and you knew he didn’t really have another close friend to hang out with, so what was he doing?

Then you remembered about the Stark internship. Wasn’t he supposed to have lost it?

A noise by the window made you jump. You turned your head, wondering who that might be. 

That’s when Spider-Man entered the room, sticking to the ceiling. You had to refrain yourself from screaming. What the hell was Spider-Man doing in your boyfriend’s bedroom???

You watched as he got closer to the door that you had left opened like you always did when you were at Peter’s place. Just before he closed the door, he took off the mask. You couldn’t see his face from where you were, but the hair looked a bit too much like your boyfriend’s hair and worry started to fill you. 

He shot a web to close the door and then softly fell to the floor, making almost no noise. His back was facing you and your heart was racing in your chest as you wondered what you were supposed to do. Spider-Man was a nice guy, right?

That’s when he turned around. To see your Peter all dressed up in the suit made your heart stop in your chest, only for it to start beating again twice as fast as it did before.

He just stared at you for awhile, a surprised look on his face. You both stayed silent, you wondering what the hell was going on and him wondering why the fuck he hadn’t noticed you laying on his bed.

-“Don’t say anything”, he whispered as he pressed a button on his chest and the suit fell to the ground.

He stepped out of the suit only wearing a tight pair of boxers and you looked away as he was getting dressed. your worry only grew stronger, soon bringing tears to your eyes.

When he finally turned back around to face you, he was surprised to see your eyes full of tears.

-“What the hell, Peter, what is this?” you said as he took a step in your direction.

Something in your voice made him stop in his tracks. He looked at you with wide eyes.

-“I swear I can explain”, he said.

-“No, Peter, what the fuck, you’re going to get killed”, you said as a tear spilled on your cheek.

You had seen the videos from the altercation with the robbers in a bank, you had seen what the bank had looked like after it and you just couldn’t stop yourself from imagining your boyfriend, sliced in half on the floor.

-“No, no, I’m going to be fine, I swear, let me explain”, he pleaded.

-“Is that what you’ve been doing every night for… for ever?” you said as your breath got caught in your throats.

The moment you thought everyhting would be fine with Peter, when he had told you that he had lost the Stark internship and that he now had all his time to take care of you… the moment you had thought everything was going to be alright, your world was tumbling down to your feet.

You sat in the bed, taking your earphones off as more tears spilled on your cheek.

-“Peter, you’re going to get hurt, I don’t want you getting hurt, I swear that would kill me”, you whispered as you hid your face in your hands.

Peter didn’t say a word, he instead sat on the bed and grabbed you in his arms.

“Babe, I swear I’m being careful, I’m not going to get hurt”, he softly whispered into your ear as tears threatened to spill from his own eyes.

Seeing you like this completely shattered his heart. He wasn’t doing this to hurt you, he was doing this to protect you from the bad things lurking around the corner, and here you were crying on his lap because he was Spider-Man. What was he supposed to do?

-“How long have you been lying to me about what you’re doing?” you asked, your voice so low he barely heard it.

“I… I… I’ve been Spider-Man since before we began dating”, he stated. “But I swear it’s not like this, I’m not doing this to hurt you.”

You just stayed silent as you let what he had said sink in. 

“I’m scared Peter”, you declared after a while. “Superheroes get hurt too, you’re not invincible. What if you go out that window and never come back?”

Peter was scared about that too, he knew way too much about death, but he wasn’t going to let you see that part of him. 

-“I know, babe, and that’s the reason I’m being as careful as I can be”, he whispered. “And I love you and I swear everyday when I go out I promise myself that I’m going to come back, to come back to you. I know how hard it is to lose someone and I won’t do that to you. Everything is going to be alright, I swear, I’m not putting myself in danger anymore, you don’t have to worry.”

You raised your head to look at him and his heart ached when he saw your tears-stained cheeks.

-“Promise you’ll never lie to me again about anything”, you said.

-“I swear, sunshine”, he answered. “I’ll call you every time I’m back home, hell, I’ll go to your window every time to show you I’m alright.”

You smiled softly to him, knowing that even though you were scared for him, you loved him deeply. And you remembered that every time he talked to you about the Stark internship his eyes shone and it truly was the thing making him the most happy in life. So even if the thought of him getting hurt was scaring the hell out of you, the thought of him being happy was way more important.

“I love you, Pete”, you said.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

“I love you, too”, he whispered against your lips.

[hollandbaby]

excerpt from smth I’ll probably never write

you didn’t think it would get this far. you didn’t realise that you’d end up with an abundance of emotions towards your best friend. your tom. your tommy. he promised he’d never forget you, not through his career, not ever. he promised to eternity that you would forever be his childhood best friend, that you would be in his heart through every step of the way, that he’d text or call when he’s away at work, that he’d catch up with you when he comes back home; grab a coffee, grab lunch, anything. anything as long as he’s spending time with you. but things don’t work the way we want them to, and promises are not always made for keeping, something you’ve realised along with the feelings of anger, regret and downright misery. promises are not always made for keeping.

[naturallytom]

hi friends i am in a Mood™ and i really really really wanna write some angst so....here we are!! this will start thursday (august 19, 2021) and end on sunday (august 22, 2021). below are some prompts, general rules, etc!

general rules

if you request a prompt, please send me the number of the prompt and the list you found it from!!

feel free to check out the playlist (linked below) and request a song inspired blurb!! 

if you have a song suggestion pls send it my way!!

be respectful!!

i won’t write anything pertaining to self harm, suicide, etc.

all posts will be tagged as ‘very angsty blurb weekend’!!

who do i write for?

tom holland

harrison osterfield

peter parker

prompts

a shit ton of angsty prompts

angsty dialogue prompts

simple angst

100 ways to crush your soul

other

playlist

tagging some mutuals (so hopefully this doesn’t flop): @sunshinehollandd @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown @spiderboytotherescue @tomhollandd​​