#todd howard take notes and please bestow upon us the dwemer tea you fucking ponce

[gaslightgatekeepgodot]

What if the fleshbud was, like, advanced kinning

(see link for the birth of this really dumb idea)

There is a criminally small amount of info on what fleshbuds Actually Do in canon, and I'm frankly quite sick of it. So, fuck you Araki! I'm creating my own terrible crack fleshbud lore based on one (1) manga panel and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me.

...I also don't currently have internet access on my PC, so fuck my followers too! I can't add a readmore to this post until I find a new wi-fi receiver that actually fucking works. I apologise on behalf of the tumblr devs for their dysfunctional mobile app. : D

~

So, this is a capture from the Stardust Crusaders manga, where Shadow DIO seems to be admiring his own shoddy Kakyoin cosplay in the mirror:

Truly the height of fashion.

I don't know where in the manga this comes from, and I don't really care to know - I am a crack connoisseur and, depending on my mood at any given moment, I Will make canon my bitch - however, we will make the assumption that this image dates to a point in time after DIO took Kakyoin under his control, but before he is sent to assassinate Jotaro, subsequently leading to the removal of his fleshbud by Star Platinum.

As we all know, fleshbuds created from DIO's cells take control of their victims' minds to some extent, ensuring their loyalty to and willingness to work for their beloved vampire overlord DIO-sama~. It doesn't seem to make any fundamental changes to the personality, maybe dulling their emotions a little and inhibiting their ability to ask questions like "should I really be travelling halfway across the world as a seventeen-year-old schoolboy to kill this random guy I've never heard of before?"

But like, what if "dulling their emotions" really means that DIO is inadvertently stealing them for himself?

I realise how fucking stupid this sounds, but also shuddup rational brain you don't belong in a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure crack dissertation

(ahem) But it makes me giggle to think about DIO just standing in front of a mirror in the dead of night, all brooding and depressed like, styling his hair to look like this random Japanese guy he picked up off the street and probably rawed half to death an hour beforehand because he accidently stole like a third of his personality

I also enjoy the idea of him budding Polnareff and then panicking because he thinks the assimilation of Polnareff's strong moral compass into his own is Jonathan's soul trying to possess him and steal back his body or some shit

i kinda lost my gusto in the middle of writing this because i don't words very well. sorry about that. please feel free to reblog and add your own input to this shitty idea