#today has been very absurd not only because of the extreme up-and-down panic-calm-crisis-love mood but also the weather

[non-un-topo]

Some personal writing I felt like sharing, because today has been rather absurd.

**

My nana is dying, and I’m carving a bath plug out of a drain with a knife and fork. It’s not even my apartment.

I find a little comfort in remembering this is her exact kind of humour.

Things that almost made me break today:

_“How is your grandma?” A question from Audrey, over breakfast. It’s the first time she’s seen me out of my room in days, the first words that she’s managed to ask.

_Snow. Not the blizzard, but the way it melted into the wool of my hat and froze ice chunks to my forehead.

_Checking the time on the subway.

_An empty fridge.

_No wall plug for my heat pad.

_Three essays, barely started. Two and a half weeks until due.

_Discovering a doll I made as a child, in the closet of this apartment which is rented by my friend of 15 years.

_The damn bath plug.

         _Imagining my nana would be in fits laughing.