#tobs: about

[paralaxpolarity]

"​🇮​'​🇻​​🇪​ ​🇸​​🇪​​🇪​​🇳​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​​🇸​ ​🇾​​🇴​​🇺​ ​🇵​​🇪​​🇴​​🇵​​🇱​​🇪​ ​🇼​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇩​​🇳​'🇹​ ​🇧​​🇪​​🇱​​🇮​​🇪​​🇻​​🇪​… ​🇦​​🇹​​🇹​​🇦​​🇨​​🇰​ ​🇸​​🇭​​🇮​​🇵​​🇸​ ​🇴​​🇳​ ​🇫​​🇮​​🇷​​🇪​ ​🇴​​🇫​​🇫​ ​🇹🇭​​🇪​ ​🇸​​🇭​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇩​​🇪​​🇷​ ​🇴​​🇫​ ​🇴🇷​​🇮​​🇴​​🇳​… ​🇮​ ​🇼​​🇦​​🇹​​🇨​​🇭​​🇪​​🇩​ ​🇨​-​🇧​​🇪​​🇦​​🇲​​🇸​ ​🇬​​🇱​​🇮​​🇹​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​ ​🇮​​🇳​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇩​​🇦​​🇷​​🇰​ ​🇳​​🇪​​🇦​​🇷​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇹🇦​​🇳​​🇳​​🇭​ä​🇺​​🇸​​🇪​​🇷​ ​🇬​​🇦​​🇹​​🇪​. ​🇦​​🇱​​🇱​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇴​​🇸​​🇪​ ​🇲​​🇴​​🇲​​🇪​​🇳🇹​​🇸​ ​🇼​​🇮​​🇱​​🇱​ ​🇧​​🇪​ ​🇱​​🇴​​🇸​​🇹​​, ​🇱​​🇮​​🇰​​🇪​ ​🇹​​🇪​​🇦​​🇷​​🇸​ ​🇮​​🇳​ ​🇷​​​​🇦​​🇮​​🇳" - Blade Runner

THE BASICS

This is Daffy, using any pronouns albeit with a preference for they/them, writing in UTC-6/MDT or UTC-7/MST, depending on the timezone shenanigans. I write 571401-TR/ "Tobs Ri", who’s the primary focus of this introduction, as well as Kanti Jagx, who’s intro is already up. To find starters or interactions for my characters, the format will be [characterfirstname]: starters or [characterfirstname]: interactions. This is a standard format across the blog for all musings, mirrors, etc., and as I start introducing these tags, I fully intend to make a directory, which will be linked HERE.

To get an idea of Tobs, I’ve included a bit of the app, specifically that first part!

[ fin argus, nonbinary, they/them] Look who just landed! 571401-TR “TOBS RI”, I sure hope you packed all you need. Perhaps you’re not worried as an UNDERBOSS of THE SKELETON CREW. The city has plenty of spots for a 25 year old ANDROID like you. You’ll be known in the city soon enough as THE ESOTERIC, being STRAIGHT-FORWARD and ODD.

THE STATISTICS

Full Name: 571401-TR Nickname: Tobs, Ri-ri, T-R Date of Birth: June 25th, 2380 Gender: Nonbinary Pronouns: They/them Sexual Orientation: Asexual Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Current Age: 25 years. Modification: Android Affiliation: The Skeleton Crew Birthplace: Akumu Slums, New Jakarta Current Neighbourhood: Akumu Slums Occupation: They work as the underboss for the Skeleton Crew, while working to develop new variations of the drugs the gang sells. Known Languages: 571401-TR, being based on an academic research model, speaks most common languages in New Jakarta, including Martian Sign, Japanese, Mandarin, Bahasa Indonesia, Javanese, Hindi, Bengali, and English. However, Tobs doesn't have a language learning software, so they're unable to learn new languages without a full system adjustment, taking them out of commission for a hot second.

INSPIRATION

Pinterest!

Quote: "Do not compete with what is happening. To compete is to prepare for failure. Do not be trapped by the need to achieve anything. This way, you achieve everything." - Dune: Messiah

Label or Archetype: The Magician

Tropes : Do Androids Dream? Eccentric A.I., Reluctant Mad Scientist

Media Parallels: Andy (Alien: Romulus), Roy Batty (Blade Runner), Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Ash (Alien)

Theme Song: We Must Be Killers by Mikky Ekko

Written Aesthetics:

Aniara by Harry Martinson

We're slowly coming to suspect that the space

we're traveling in is of a different sort

from what we thought whenever that word "space"

was decked out by our fantasies on Earth.

We're coming to suspect now that our drift

is even deeper then we first believed,

that knowledge is a blue naiveté

which with a measured quantity of insight

imagined that the Mystery has structure.

We now suspect that what we claim is space

and glassy clarity around Aniara’s hull

is spirit, everlasting and impalpable,

that we have strayed in spiritual seas.

Sight: The flash of bright blue in a pitch black room, screens so broken no one else can read them. The way neon looks when it rains. The instant fear the fortunate feel when meeting the mechanical for the first time. Sound: It clicks, clicks, clacks in the middle of the night, the motion and sound so frequent it marks the start of a day and the end of a night, so steady who needs a clock? Click click clack. The sound of innovation, of constant movement, of death. Taste: Iron and metal and the burn of it all, old pieces and new combined. Old and new and bright and dark and bitter like coffee overbrewed. You cough and red stains your mouth. Iron and metal and the burn of it all. Touch: Smooth and cold and crisp like water from Olympus. Hard to hold and harder to remember, but they are nothing but water and winter made real. Thought: Find. Work, Adjust. Find. Change. Solve the problem. Find. Adjust. Test. Test again. Adjust. Test. Try. Adjust. Change.

[svampira]

my dark urge kitty^^

(a year before the game - act one)

[not-a-mongoose]

bc i'm obsessed with au ideas imma just start posting about some stuff i've came up with and promptly forgotten bc idk if i'll ever actually say them.

so this one is basically a fantasy au where scar is a vex adventurer who robs explores old/abandoned places and sells the loot, due to his vex heritage and a special charm from cub (also a vex), he is immune to most curses so he doesn't have to worry much about typical mortal curses so long as he doesn't keep cursed items on him for too long, and he can just get a magician to check them before he sells them (most pawnshops have a solid solution for checking for curses because otherwise it would be so easy to get cursed).

One day, he picks up a cursed amulet along with some of his other loot, which has no major negative effects, but the guy at the pawn shop lets him know it's like super magical, enough that they don't wanna hold onto it because it could get their business investigated if someone found it. Scar keeps it around while he figures out how to deal with it, since it could fetch a pretty penny if he can keep it out of sight from the magical guards (who would probably arrest scar on the spot if he got figured out bc he's vex)

anyways scar chills with it for a bit but then he gets haunted by the amulet's cursed resident, Grian! unfortunately this spooky figure has virtually no memory prior to his time in the amulet, so scar has to just deal with this spooky bird ghost in his jewelry.

anyways naturally he gets discovered by the guards and such and he has to get out of there and figure out a way to deal with this situation without prompting an 'international' incident (bc there's a high probability that scar getting arrested as a vex with a spooky evil gem would be a perfect prompt for the army to launch a xenophobic war against vex despite them having nothing to do with it).

[andstuffsketches]

[sketchy digital drawing of Eleanor and Velvet from Berseria. Eleanor's hands are folded in prayer, draped over Velvet's shoulders. She looks down at her with a worried expression, tears rolling down her cheeks. Velvet looks up at her impassively, lightly clutching Eleanor's forearms with bloody hands, more blood dripping down her face and from her mouth. Light shines from above them, and red clouds fade in from below]

here, kitty kitty there's too much demon blood in these self-appointed angels

[pink-key]

Very happy to read comments and hashtags like these Gives me the dopamine rush

[dany36]

sigh.

time to finish berseria i think. :(

[cetra]

how the fuck are you a velvet stan when her entire story revolves around being in love with her little brother and finding a replacement for him!!!!! the game literally ends with her stuck in eternity with him!!!!!!! what the hell

HUH...... okay first of all her entire story arc is about coming to terms with her trauma and finally being able to let love & light into her life. also about finally getting revenge on an institution that betrayed her and caused her to become a monster. it's a great arc, she's the best Tales of protagonist and that's why we #stan

Second of all Velvet wasn't in love with her Laphi dawg what game did you play 😭 that was her BROTHER..... dont be weird. and she makes it abundantly clear that the way she sees Phi is as a brother. Yes he starts off as a replacement for Laphi and I recognize that's a weird thing to do but she's not supposed to be a good person, this is a game about a lot of traumatized jerks and Velvet is one of them. Phi definitely had a precocious crush on her but Velvet seems pretty unaware of it from what I understand, she only sees him as a little brother. Although in time she starts to back off from this when Phi expresses that it makes him angry/uncomfortable. iirc that's also around the time you start to see her develop healthier relationships with some of the other members of the Menagerie. her going from treating him as a replacement for Laphi to viewing him as more of a treasured friend (and maybe like.... a kid she babysits let's be real) was very obvious to me so again, idk what game you played

as for the ending 😭 c'mon man. that's not even Laphi she's with, that's Innominat. Velvet recognizes that Laphi is gone forever and the reason why she decides to spend all of eternity with Innominat is because SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CONTAIN HIS POWER. literally the only one. She knows that this is the only way the world can be saved and it's a huge moment for her character bc she previously never viewed this as a world worth saving and now not only does she see that it is, but she also feels she was in part responsible for its ruin so that's why she chooses to sacrifice herself in this way. it's a beautiful and bittersweet ending and your reduction ignores like tens of hours wort of critical character development.

ANYWAYS all that being said please enjoy this beautiful art of Velvet that @lexsnotdead made for me

I suggest you change your ways immediately or just leave me and my favorite fictional woman in peace God bless 🫡🧡

[traviezos]

im glad altrive managed to get like four people banned on roblox for a day for saying the word "fattie" in one stream and about under an hour

[sovonight]

I feel you on thr Xan mod frustration. I remember one time he said something like "I'm glad Irenicus didn't scar your face at least; its un-elven to mar beauty" (non-bonded path)

And like bro, THAT is the silver lining you're trying to take from the whole ordeal? Also went against my headcanon that her face did get scarred, so...

Dumped Xan after that for Haer'dalis. Not even Edwin is that insensitive!

I really just dont understand the mod's popularity. I can't imagine BG1 Xan saying that

oh my god i would hate that lmao

yeah there's this huge shift to him now caring about beauty a lot (among other things). i can see the appeal of the sequel in that there are a lot more interaction options with him, there's more dialogue, there's more events, there's a whole new path, there's more everything, but. his heart is not there 🥲 he's just kind of a shallow jerk

[captainblazkowicz]

🌾An eerie plot of farmland with seemingly no one around for miles //perhaps he stumbles upon their lil farmhouse in the middle of nowhere? 👀

[ Eerie Atmospheric Prompts / Accepting! / @outofthiisworld ]

When BJ emerged from the portal that fuckin' na.zi pig scientist threw him into, he half expected to go to some futuristic place with big honkin' robots instead of people, or little green aliens. Instead, place he went to looked like home. Like Mesquite. Plenty of folks back when he was a boy had acres upon acres of land. Some of 'em tended livestock there, like his father. Others of 'em tilled the land, grew things themselves, sold 'em at them farmer markets they held weekly.

It was, to say the absolute fucking least, bittersweet. Sometimes he missed this America. The one before the war. Before the na.zis. Before he saw the American people he thought he respected peddle eugenics and bigotry. Or maybe that was there the whole time, since he was a kid, and he never done noticed it in nobody but his father till it was too late.

America or not, this land was cultivated. There weren't any trees, no undergrowth, no brush, no nothin'. That meant somebody had made it this way, this flat, thus ready-to-till and farm. But who? Felt like he'd been walking for hours. Maybe it was just a few minutes. He didn't know. What he did know though was that sun was setting, with it the cold was settling in, and he needed a goddamn shirt. When they'd thrown him in that portal, they hadn't given him one. Why the fuck would they? No guns neither. Just his fists, his pants, boots, undergarments. And a rumbling stomach.

After walking ahead indefinitely— not like he had a choice— he eventually saw something. Little light. Was coming out a window. A farmhouse. Somebody had to live in there. BJ practically broke into a sprint— or, he would've if he didn't worry 'bout getting himself shot— but decided to briskly walk instead. Soon as he made it to the door— again, he was pleasantly surprised this place had doors— he knocked.

[not-a-mongoose]

honestly i've decided i like the name toby (as well as austin but it's besides the point) but i used to be into dsmp and i hate the idea of someone thinking i chose the name bc of tubbo. no shade to him but the idea of someone saying that fills me with rage.

[m0chisenpai]

Mochi what do you think about 90s model reader (think brandi quinones) and loumand (they 100 percent watch fashions shows in modern days)?

Its cannon that they like people who capture attention (*coff coff* lestat). I think they would meet her in a show and would send her flowers and letters to court her and all that jazz

Sorry if this is weird :/

vogue

˚｡⋆ louis de pointe du lac x black!fem!reader x armand

in which your pefermonce off and on the runway catches their attention

author note: I ate this up so much, I literally scoured Pintrest and fell down a rabbit hole and have to fight every desire in my body to do another multipart series for this

The production people move like flies past your eyes while you sit in your regal beauty. Eyes unblinking, legs crossed perfectly, your hair now braided pulled up into a bun with a few pieces falling and curled.

You hold the hand of Armand, his finger runs over and over. You've come to learn this calms not just your nerves but his as well. Louis remains off to the side, he is weary of cameras these days. Preferring to leave you and Armand to such matters.

But when you pout those lips and flutters those ethereal eyes he relents to sit to the sides.

When the interviewer settles in the chair he has your attention and your back straightens.

"Runway, Vogue and Dior, red carpets, music videos. But your most recent appearance in the critically acclaimed rock star The Vampire Lestat's music video put's you back in the public eye when you should look much more...different." That breaks your picturesque facade with a light giggle that crinkles your dark lined eyes,

"That damned name'

'Calm yourself my love.' You catch Louis' fleeting gaze.

"How does the face of the 80s and 90s reappear in the 2000s rained in blood and completely untouched by age?"

"Hmm I think I have my wonderous loves to thank for that, there are only so many things that can hide the thief of the night that is time. But I seem to be lucky to have escaped its grasp." Armand places a languid kiss to the back of your hand while Louis raises his glass from the side.

"I believe the Gift only encapsulated the beauty she had from the moment we first met." Armand speaks up.

"And this would be during your rookie years as an athlete may say?"

"Yes at the beginning of my runway career in my early 20s, though I would not turn till 30. Around the mid 80s I was found by my lovely companions when I was at my lowest. Watching from the sides. And I did everything to ensure not to fall in love."

"Cheeky." Louis coos in your mind.

"Let's go back then, how were you back then? You say you were at your lowest but your face was desired by so many."

"Beauty, fame, money, sex is all so fleeting. And the fashion industry sucked every bit out of you till you were a husk for them to drag along until the needles and knife was needed to hide any evidence of your decline."

Armand will never admit it out loud but he was particularly fond of the 80s and 90s. He loved the fashions o each era, but he fell in love with runway. It was theatre in an entirely new facet. Louis can recall, though his companions face was stone cold, the glimmer of warmth in his eyes that watched each and every model. Catching every small finite detail.

Louis was more than happy to donate and invest in the ocassional piece for Armand who returned the favor. Until one evening they are encaptured by a beauty amount the sea of tall skinny legs.

This angel that graced the runway one evening of Paris Fasion week. It was dull, Armand confided in Louis as they dressed for the show they and and a few exclusive members were invited to.

One by one Armand began to count them like sheep until she entered. A sheer black tube tob pencil skirt dress with a billowy white blouse beneath. Your eyes are smoky and sharp and your lips a bright chery red. When you walk, you lack the stiffness the other girls move with, no no you glide. The runway is your stage, you dance so beautifully.

Armand sits up as you walk past. He neded you then, he neededyou now.

When you are off you brush past the fussy designers who bark orders in French that is too fast and English far too broken. All you care to know is you have a period of relief to indulge in a smoke and soon after a bump from one of your acquaintances.

You slump in your seat, a cigarette warms you up as you enjoy the momentary silence until you are up again. You grow tired, bored of this. You see it boiling in your eyes, past the makeup, the eye liner and rouge.

From your side one of the assistants carefully moves to your side.

"For you ma'am a gift from some of our most generous investors of the arts."

"M' not sleeping with them" you mumble around the still lit cigarette which dangles from your lips as you open the card tucked into the dozens of fresh roses.

"A rose for a rose." You grumble putting out your cigarette on the card and getting up to squeeze into the sheer scandalous dress though you would hardly call it that with the pièce de résistance being an intricate veil that twists and covers and is encrusted with diamonds around your face and binding in the back.

As you go to line up, standing still for any changes and a quick make up touch you are nudged to get in line. But a thought lingers in your mind.

When you walk you can't help but wonder, which one of you wants to sleep and tell the tale, hm?

"On the contrary my dear." You almost falter when you turn to walk back. That man's voice sends shives down your spine as you carefully make sure not to falter. "We would prefer to have you more than just in the flesh."

His partner to the left flashes you a cocky smile. He's lucky you are being watched otherwise you would have scowled.

"Aw, don't scowl like that chere."

They follow you to London. Your picture is in all the tabloids and paprazzi is stationed outside of your hotel where you quckly find the bar. In an act of defiance, and trying to add your flare, you stopped during midwalk to kiss the collar of your mysterious suitor leaving a perfect red stain.

Since then your manager has been bombarded with numerous calls for editorials, spreads, and interviews.

"Another glass for her please."

Your eyes cut to the beautiful man whose eyes look enchanting through the fog of smoke he carefully clows away from your direction. A black turtle neck tucked into a pair of slacks to battle the chill.

But no words can describe the work of art that are his eyes which stare deep into your yours,

"I don't sleep with fashion fanatics, not anymore at least" you mumble into the dirty martini before a new one is placed in front of you.

The corner of his lips twitch into a mix of a smile and a smirk.

"Nah I'm not into the whole art of fashion. Just a simple collector is all," he watches how your luscious lips leave a red imprint along the rim of the glass.

"Oh? And do I fit your collection?"

He hums, "I'd dare to say you outshine it."

"Let me guess," you rest your cigarette in the ashtray to give him your undivided attention. "Your wife wants to watch doesn't she?" Your eyes look pass his shoulder at the women and some of your fellow workers.

"Your far off. Got no wife, but my companion does enjoy to watch ocasionally." Louis leans forward, his chin on your shoulder and his cold lips touch your ear. "And he's been watching this entire time my dear."

Your head quickly turns and sure enough, a man watches at the end of the bar. A gass half filled, his both arms rest on the counter and his eyes remain unmoving on you both.

"Put her tab on my card will you?" Your mysterious heart throb drops a card that clanks and you catch a glimps of the name.

"Louis de Pointe du Lac" you read it to yourself as he stands to walk languidly to the man. Placing a hand don his shoulder and sitting beside him.

You should be unnerved by their constant appearances, but you enjoy this game of cat and mouse. Sharing words at afterparties, drinks at hotel bars, and one night together in the satin sheets of Milan.

Your room is always filled with flowers when you arrive. Champagne and chocolates await by your bedside. You never fail to find their eyes in the crowd, you dare to say this is what love must feel like.

You keep the notes and letters from Armand. His way with words are what bring the light back in your eyes as you walk and model.

Whatever it is, your agent tells you one day, keep it up. because you begin t see a spike in your career and appearances. Leading you to walk your first large red carpet event.

When you step out of the shining vintage car immediately you are met with flashes, clinging to your sur shrug for comfort imagining their arms as you walk and pause for questions and for photographs.

"Can we be under the assumption you have a special someone?" Your interviewer asks over the roar of paparazzi and photographers at a red carpet event.

"Hmm, I guess you could continue to speculate." You give a cheeky grin to the camera as you walk off with a flurry of questions at your leathered heels.

When you enter the museum hosting the charity event they await you. Your drop your shrug into the arms of one of the attendants while Armand takes hold of your clutch. You walk in between them looking at the beautifully restored and donated pieces. The theme is very rococo and you adore it, the artwork, pottery and ceramics and the beautifully restored gowns on display.

"Oh my goodness look at this one, it reminds me of a Monet" you coo as you stand before the water lily pond. Your hand on your chest as you pause. You wish it were yours. Though it is not the original you want it still.

And that's enough for Armand to place a red sticker near the artists name.

"Oh you didn't have to, Armand." you pout at him as he cups your jaw looking into your eyes.

"You clearly desired it, did you not?" When all you do is nod he hums. His thumb begins to stroke the soft skin of your jaw. "Then you shall have it."

"We would travel the cities I was in. And during the off season I spent here or in the comforts of one of our other homes. I believe Berlin will be our destination this year for the holidays, right my love?"

And how can Armand no to those eyes.

They gleam with mischief, golden flakes sparkle in your bright eyes. "Whatever her hearts desires I have assumed the duty to fulfill each ofthem, we both do."

You shush him, had you still been mortal you swear your cheeks would be flushed.

The interviewer

"But I believe this Gift would have to be my most treasured one."

[thermodynamic-comedian]

Secondo apparently:

You know what? good for her.

[comingdownwithme]

CW: Mentions and discussions of intrusive thoughts, details of said intrusive thoughts

also not beta read and it's 6 am at the time of posting so–

"Tobes," Jeff said as he exhaled smoke, blue eyes averted to the cigarette fixed between his fingers, "D'ya think I'm a, uh, bad person..?"

"Huh?"

Toby blinked and stopped chewing his nail.

"Uhm, wh- what?"

"D'ya think I'm a bad person," Jeff repeats, louder, clearer this time, as he fidgets with his cigarette.

Toby let his words sink in, processing them, before he turned just slightly to watch the other teen from the corner of his eye. Jeff's hand over his shoulder squeezed faintly at the slight movement, an unconscious reaction under Toby's watchful gaze.

"Whu- Why...?" He asked.

"Jus' gimme a yes or no, Tob–"

"No. N- now t- t- tell me why."

Jeff pressed his lips close.

Neither boy said anything for a long moment. There was only the faint cacophony of the street life below them, melding together with the distant chirp of birds that flew over their small, suburban town.

Twenty minutes. That's all they've got left until the bell signaling the end of their lunch period rang. Then it'll be three or so hours until the two would see each other again with Liu in tow for their commute home.

So, as he brought the cigarette to his lips, Jeff decided it'd be best to just rip the bandaid off now than to let it worsen and fester later.

This isn't the first time he's been this vulnerable to Toby anyways, having felt as if he had pulled his ribcage apart to expose his damned soul under his careful eyes, nor did he think this would be the last.

This is just the first time the thought had actually scared him enough to think that maybe– maybe this was the last straw, the line he'd cross that would lead to the loss of his very lifeline.

Jeff inhaled, warmth filled his lungs.

He held that breath.

Then, he exhaled.

And he smelled smoke.

"I..." Jeff glanced up, meeting his best friend's dark eyes, before his gaze flickered down to his feet. "I've been thinkin'..."

"Damn, di- didn't know you–" Toby cracked his neck, "you c- could."

He couldn't help it, and Jeff let slip a snort. "Shuddup,"

Toby rolled his eyes before he elbowed him.

"Yeah, yeah, gettin' on with it," He huffed. "I've just... Sometimes these... thoughts come up."

"Th- thoughts?" Toby raised a brow.

"Bad ones, yeah..." Jeff explained.

Toby hummed, contemplative. "Like...?"

Jeff stared down at his cigarette, watching as smoke slowly rose from the burning end.

"I- I won't make fu- fun of y- y- you, if that's what you're think- thinking."

"Nah," Jeff blew a heavy breath, the scent of nicotine lingering on his tongue. "That's not what I've thought 'bout..."

"What i- is it then?"

"I've thought about hurtin' you."

Jeff let the confession settle between them, and he occupied his free hand by rolling the cigarette between his fingers.

He doesn't meet Toby's eyes when he continues.

"Hurtin' Liu too," He says, "An' mama, daddy... myself...

"I- I uh,"

Jeff's mouth hung open briefly as he tried to organise his thoughts, formulate his words in a way that won't cause his best friend- his only friend- to run off. He knew it was an uphill battle, but before he knew it, words spilled free from his tongue, desperate to pull the suffocating weight of guilt that's been festering, rotting inside him, off of his chest.

"When daddy took me huntin'– you weren't 'round here then, I was eight– I helped him hunt squirrels, had to hold 'em.

"He gave me one, a- an' I held it's limp lil' body in my lil' hands..."

The long, pale fingers that rested over Toby's shoulder flexed involuntary, squeezing the other boy's shoulder.

"I- It was..." Jeff paused, and he pulled in a shuddering breath. "I... I wanted ta crush it's head, hear it's skull crack open in my palms, feel the shards poke outta it's skin, and–"

"B- But did you do it?"

Jeff blinked.

Slowly, he turned to face the shorter teen, and after what felt like an entire lifetime, blue eyes finally met brown.

"Wha–"

"D- did you do it," He asked again, firmer this time.

"Fuck no! I wouldn't–"

"And w- would you hurt m- m- me? How about Liu? Your mo- mom? Dad?"

Jeff pressed his lips into a thin line.

An eye twitched before Toby simply raised a brow in response.

"I..." Jeff sighed. "N... No,"

"Then there's noth- nothing t- t- to worry abou- about."

"Tobes, I just told you I've thought about hurtin' you."

"And I knew you si- since I was– what? T- t- ten?" Toby broke his gaze and huffed out a laugh. "Jeff, you're not gonna hu- hurt me."

Jeff studied his best friend's face with furrowed brows as Toby's words settled between them. Despite the weight of Jeff's confession and the uneasiness even he felt at the mere thought alone, as the gentle brush of an afternoon wind ruffled brunette locks over his freckled cheeks, Toby met Jeff's gaze from the corner of his eyes and smiled.

"You're..." Jeff's mouth hung open briefly, eyes flickering to the floor. "Toby, you're so fuckin' weird."

"Yeah, yeah, sh- shut up, you've alr– already t- t- told me before." He huffed, leaning back against Jeff's arms over his shoulder, "Now q- quit the sad sh- shit. You're not a– a bad per- person, alright?"

"I'm..." Jeff sucked in a shuddering breath and held it. "I'm not... a bad person."

"See?" Toby's smile split into a full grin this time, revealing bucked teeth. "N- Now c'mon, I've guh- gotta keep telling you about how much o- of a piece of- piece of shit R- Richardson was e- earlier."

Jeff rolled his eyes, and as his own lips curved upwards into a small, unconscious smile, he held the shorter teen just a bit closer to his side, his cigarette forgotten between his own two fingers.

"Alright, what'd he do now?"

It was as if nothing happened. Toby still talked as if Jeff hadn't just admitted to thinking about hurting him. Hell, he shut it down quick and made him admit- accept that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as bad of a person as he had first thought.

He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Toby's words were only a bandage over an infected wound, that those thoughts aren't going to come up any less or get any better, any less disturbing. But with how he had talked- how he had believed in what he said so easily and with such nonchalance, even Jeff was swayed, willing to forgive even himself for even daring to think about hurting someone good, hurting someone like Toby.

It was just the two of them on that roof that one, cool afternoon, chattering away as the sounds of the surrounding town blurred around them. Jeff had never felt this light, not for as long as he could remember, and as he revelled in the easy flow of their conversation, unburdened by the guilt that would usually taint these small moments, he wanted to hold this one close.

A time where he bore his damned and accursed soul, and how a weird, freckled teen accepted him, all of him.

It was just the two of them on that roof.

Jeff, Toby,

And smoke.

He could still smell it.

It wrapped around his throat, clogging his lungs.

Jeff watched the burning visage of his own home, transfixed from it's front walkway. It illuminated the surrounding streets in a warm glow amidst the dark backdrop of night, and his skin burned with an unrepentant itch, nerves still alight as raw muscle and reddened skin were exposed to the cool evening air.

Whatever dragged itself out of the Woods' home- out of hell, wasn't Jeffery Woods. No, he wouldn't consider himself that, not anymore.

Whatever was left of that troubled teen died in the fires of that house alongside his parents, leaving the charred, burned remains of a deep, primal anger in disfigured, human flesh to watch as the place he once called home steadily burned in it's funeral pyre.

He knew who did this.

And as he pulled himself up, the small movement forcing a sharp gasp from his damaged throat, Jeff knew now for a fact that he wasn't a good person as he moved down the street towards three, distinct houses, fueled by an adrenaline and an anger that burned brighter than the flames he's limping away from.

May God save his soul.

And may his best friend- wherever he is- forgive him for what he's about to do

[ushouldwatchhaikyuu]

someone in the team (lets be honest, probably nishinoya) getting hinata a a custom made shirt with some lq pic of kageyama's face with badly edited comic sans text that says "kagyam tobs" or some dumb misspelling like that. Hinata follows along and goes on a dramatic rant about how much he loves it and its all fun and games. everyone thinks he probably ended up losing/throwing away the shirt or just keeps it in his closet as an inside joke, but one day he just pulls up to practice wearing it. and he's so casual about it he doesn't even mention it, and when someone brings it up he just goes "oh i just felt like wearing it today" like its the most normal thing ever. kageyama's brain actually overheated that day. he cant tell if he wants to cry or throw up about it/pos

[hannamoon143]

Hi I was wondering if you could do an IN x reader angst to comfort. Any plot is fine! I really need it but no pressure in writing it! <3 Thank you <3

Do you trust me?

pairings: bf jeongin x fem reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: anxiety, trust issues, kinda family issues, slight cursing once, crying,

a/n: @0omillo0 this is for you now <33, i just hope you are alright since you said u rlly needed this. take care of yourself luv, and feel free to talk to me.

Did you deserve this? The same question kept running in your mind over and over again.  Did you deserve these kind words? Did you deserve this grade? Did you deserve to feel what you were feeling? The answer was not sure for you. You wanted to believe yes, but deep down you felt like you didn’t. Why? That was a good question. Maybe it was from the trauma of your family. Your parents yelling at you for everything, punishing if you didn’t have perfect grades or made mistakes. Or maybe it was from your siblings who kept laughing at you, and calling you lazy. Or maybe from your friends, that changed often, because you seemed to not be able to hold friendships for long.

The truth was you didn’t know that either. You felt like you knew nothing to be honest. Years spent trying to find out who and what you wanted to be, wasted by other people saying you wouldn’t make it anyways. And where did everything get you?

You were sitting at the floor in your little apartment, pressing your palms to your eyes so you wouldn’t cry.You hated this feeling. But what you hated even more was that you thought it would work out this time.

Your best friend of now 2 years, Sarah, left you. And she didn’t let you slowly down, no she pretended like everything was perfectly fine, until one day she suddenly told people horrible things about you, making people whisper when you walked by, making them mock and laugh at you. At first you didn’t get it. You were confused when people whispered and chuckled when you walked by. That was until you saw a message in the anonym group of the town u lived in. There were most people your age in and someone had spread a horrible messagge about you. In the message was written that you were a drug dealer, and that you had something with the boyfriend of your best friend going on, and as if that wasn’t already horrible enough, there was something that hit u deeper. There was written that you sold drugs to your own siblings and that was why your parents kicked you out and that was why you were living alone now.

After that you knew who wrote that. You never told anyone randomly you lived alone. Tob e honest only two people really knew about this. Sarah and your boyfriend jeongin It wasn’t that common to entirely have broken the contact to your family in that age.

Of course all of the things written were lies. But the last thing… The reason you didn’t have any contact to your family anymore was that they were horrible. For years you excused their behaviour with things like „they also live for the first time“ and „everyone makes mistakes, i have to be strong for them.“ But one day you realized it wasn’t normal. How they’d yell at you for bad grades or make mistakes when you were just a kid. How they’d ignore you after.  And the worst was you once made the mistake to open up to them. You told them how you were feeling, and that you couldn’t keep living like that and your friends were all fake. They laughed at you. Said you were a child and had no right to say these things. Since you were met with these things so early it was always really hard to keep friendships working for you. You had bad trust issues, and you just weren’t able to believe someone really liked you, and you often cancelled meet ups, so you could rather study, or you were just too drained. So friends came and go. Over the years you just totally distanced yourself from everyone, because you didn’t want to trust anyone anymore. That was until you met two people. Your boyfriend jeongin and sarah. Actually you never understood why jeongin liked you. You were boring, were anxious and had trust issues and you were isolating yourself a lot. He liked to go on parties, you cancelled them. You loved spending cozy evenings with him. You sometimes watched movies or you were reading together, and always when one of you would like a sentence, a quote or even a whole page, then you would read it to each other. You remembered quiet nights, spent reading…

Your head was laying in his lap, a blanket wrapped around your body. You could feel his fingers gently brush through your hair, while you listened to his honey voice reading his favorite pages from the book he was reading to you.You closed your eyes, enjoying the moment. And sometimes when there would be a quote you related to, you would tell him your feelings, thoughts and story to it.

For you, things like that were enough. You loved quiet moments. Moments where nothing bad seemed to exist, where only the cozy quiet and jeongins voice reading pretty words was heard. And he said it was enough for him too, but you always were convinced that he wanted more. That he wanted to go to parties, to introduce you to his friends.

But for some reason he seemed to stay with you anyways.

And for sarah… everything seemed so perfect. Meeting with her was actually fun and also if you couldn’t quite talk about your feelings with her you still had fun. So you made the mistake and told her of your family and living situation.

So that was where it got you now. You shouldn’t have trusted someone again. You couldn’t make this mistake over and over again. Everyone was the same.

Your throat tightened and now you couldn’t hold your tears back. You sobbed, hugging your knees to your chest. Why were you always making the same mistakes over and over again. What were you supposed to do now. The whole little town thought you were a mean bitch now, but you didn’t have the money to move somewhere else. You felt like the ten year old child you once were again. Betrayed by already too many people, sitting in your small room, crying.

But after a while, you fell into a uncomfortable sleep on the cold, hard floor.

When you woke up you were sweaty. You had a nightmare and right after you heard your phone somewhere chiming. A bit confused you stood up, stomping your foot. „Ahh shit!“ you cursed, but you found your phone so you just sat down at the floor again looking at it.

12 missed calls from „Ayen💗✨“ 23 unread messages from „Ayen💗✨“

He must have seen the anonymous message now. You leaned your head against the wall, turning off your phone. Only the pale moonlight was lightning the room a bit, and you felt cold despite your sweatiness. You had a heavy headache from crying so much earlier. You tried to think of what do now. Should you just ignore jeongin? Maybe it would be the best for him. That thought was washed away when you heard a knock on your front door. No he couldn’t just come over. You just sat silently on the floor. Should you open? You sighed, standing up and slowly going to the door. You slide down to the floor, leaning to it. You realize your voice is hoarse when you say: „What are you doing here?“

„Y/n? Are you okay? Please let me in, i was so worried about you.“ He sounded relieved but desperate. You sighed, but kept quiet.

„Y/n please let’s just talk alright? I just want to know what that in the anonymous group was. I am not accusing you of anything, as i know you well enough to know you would never do any of those things. So please, let me in, i’m not here to judge, just to talk.“

You listened to his words. So he didn’t believe it. But no matter how sweet his words sounded, you just couldn’t trust anyone anymore. What if he would betray you like sarah did one day too? You didn’t see it coming, so why would you with jeongin. You finally decided to speak up. But it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

„I think we should break up.“

„…What? Y/n what are you talking about, are you serious?“ his voice grew more and more desperate. You kept being quiet, leaning your head to the door. Thankfully he couldn’t see the way tears were streaming down your pale face again.

„Y/n god please open the door, let’s talk, we can talk this out, please i promise i won’t ever judge you but don’t do this. Don’t break up with me in the middle of the night through a closed door, just because your scared. Let me in, and we‘ll talk about it, and then you sleep a night over it and you can think about it again. And if you want to really break up with me then, then okay, but not like this y/n…“

The worst thing was he knew you too well. He knew that you were doing this because you were scared. Scared of your future, scared of your problems, scared of ever trusting somebody again. It was selfish and not fair towards him. You knew that, but just ending things seemed easier, less painful. You wiped your tears away.

You slowly stood up, unlocking the door. Jeongin seemed relieved, and his eyes softened when he saw you. You realized you probably looked horrible. You had cried yourself to sleep, and forgotten to remove your mascara, and you were still wearing clothes from yesterday, and even in the dark lightning he could see your red puffy eyes, with the fresh tear streaks.

„Y/n…“ he softly said, and stepped in wrapping his arms around you. You didn’t move but also didn’t pull away. Actually it felt good. You didn’t notice how touch starved you were until now. Your body began to tremble, and warm tears rolled down your face again. You felt stupid for crying so much

„you know you can always talk to me right?“ he asked, pulling back a bit to look into your eyes. He lifted his hand, brushing the tears away with his thumb. You looked away, humming, because that was exactly the thing that got you here. That you thought you could talk to people, and trust them.

„I don’t want to talk now okay?“ you mumbled.

„Is it because of sarah? I know she wrote it in the group chat, one of my friends ist he admin and can see these things. Look, that’s horrible, and there is no excuse that could come up for what she did, or why she said that, but it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. And these people talking about you behind your back are just random people, believing everything on the internet. They don’t know you. But i do. Please don’t let this get to you“

You wanted to just do what he said. But you couldn’t. All the things on your past proved that it seemed to be your fault. Why else would things like this always happen to you?

„jeongin, it’s not that easy. I know you only wanna be nice and stuff but i don’t wanna tell you all this.“

„what? You think i’m „just being nice“? Seriously y/n? You should know i’m not just being nice. I never said it maybe but i love you. With my whole heart.“

You lift your head up. What? That was something you didn’t hear in a really long time. You weren’t even sure if someone ever said these three words to you. You didn’t remember your parents ever saying that, and your friendships were never lasting long enough for someone to actually say this.

„Do you trust me?“

What? You looked at him confused again. Why did he ask that? It was as if he saw right through you. Exactly the one thing u thought u would have to ban from your life. Trust. And your wonderful boyfriend asked for it.

„I- i don’t know i… i can’t, i want to but i-„ you stuttered,slowly, looking down. You were sure he was gonna be mad. I mean who wouldn’t trust their boyfriend right?

But he just smiled at you. A gentle, tender smile, that made you feel warm. He wasn’t gonna get mad?

„It’s alright love. You don’t have to answer right away. I know trust is something big for you to give, especially after this incident. But i’m ready to work for it. I will do everything to someday gain your trust. Just let me show you that there are trustworthy people. I will prove it to you. Let me love you and gain your trust y/n.“

What he said was beautiful. You didn’t quite know what to respond. Jeongin seemed to know what was going on in your mind, and he said the right things, in his tender, caring way. You couldn’t fully trust him immediately, but slowly, in little steps you would heal and build trust again. And you didn’t have to do it alone. But was he really willing to stay even though you would have to convince yourself that it was alright? Would he be patient for you? It was something that you couldn’t imagine in your mind. But he sounded serious about it.

Maybe you could give him and yourself one more chance. Maybe you could slowly gain confidence to trust someone fully again. Your mind was screaming against it, but your heart didn’t. Not at jeongin.

„Okay, and… i love you too“

„And even if you think it’s your last time trusting someone again y/n, it will last till forever falls apart. I won’t ever let you down“

Little did you know that time, that his words were meant entirely serious. And he kept his promise.