#to zoos & atrraction parks & such
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its so sad to grow up and realize you didnt get the affection you needed from your parents when you were a kid. its even worse when youre aware you will never get it and should find support elsewhere but deep down it still hurts every time youre reminded of how you still wont get it
#personal#spotify play uhh class of 2013 by mitski#ITS STUPID#Ok vent incoming u can stop reading tags now <3#when i was a kid. early kindergarten/elementary school. 4 - 9 years old#we had yearly school trips#to zoos & atrraction parks & such#my mom would always go along as parental guide#after a few years my mom started specifically asking to be put with a group that wasnt mine#because i. an autistic child. dared to crave the comfort of familiarity in an unfamiliar space.#i think my sister didnt even get my mom as guide ever#bc my mom hated how clingy i was & didnt want a repeat#theres definitely something to be said about my chronic dependence & my sister's constant need to be independent#outside of the autism/allism thing#and now that im 18 i KNOW she wont be better.#she had every chance to be#for 18 years.#and she never did#i KNOW ill never get my needs fulfilled as long as i live with her#i KNOW that cutting her off might as well be the most effective thing i can do#once i leave in 6 months to go live with my dad. hopefully.#but still whenever she does this#whenever she fails to meet the expectation i always believe ive given up on#i still get upset#just the disappointment. every time#that feeling deep down of 'yeah well maybe this time she'll be different' when i already know she wont#realizing the things my mom has done and said to me while i was growing up werent normal#worst feeling ever
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Went on Safari Trip
A couple days ago (02/02/2016), I went florestry-like for a day. No, I just went on a safari tour in a wood full of cute animals. I’m so in love with animals, I mean they’re so cute at being animals and that’s it. It’s so an unconditional love, I guess.
The bad news is I had to force myself to wake up early in the morning, I woke up at 6 am. Gosh. But, that time was a forgiven exception since that was the day when I must’ve been at campus for inputting new schedule for the whole next semester but I went to Taman Safari instead. I’d chosen my life. And I chose going with my three girlfriends. That’s the good news about this; recollecting the good old mems, recreating new stories. I should’ve been psyched if I had not have this bloody period. I’m so cursing this bloody period. It made me feel so nonsense and not that psyched about doing anything.
We drove by Medy’s car and arrived at 11 am. Annnnd super thankfully to The Great God who gave such a great gift to us: such 20% discount ticket price if using BTN (it’s a name of a bank) card, then you’re free to go, which I have that card and I thank God again ---yes, it’s important to put this kinda information, it really meant for us, college students, the discount I mean. Then we were all happy.
Above is pretty much the sign look as we were entering Taman Safari Indonesia II Prigen. Thanks, Google for the picture.
First thing was the safari adventure tour, in which humans just have to stay inside the car and when it’s entering the woods and there are animals freely walking around their own areas as if it’s their real-life habitat, we, humans, are allowed to feed some of them, in the meantime humans would be amazed by their cuteness and animalitious natural behaviour, that’s called safari tour. Here’s some picts:
I mean, it’s a real woods.
I can fall in love with llama for a thousand times.
A teenage Winnie The Pooh was right in front of my eyes!
It was drizzling for awhile during our safari. Taken from where I sit through my friend’s sunroof.
Those are just a few of lots of animals in the safari woods.
After done with safari tour, we continue the Safari trip with walking in the zoo-ish and other recreation, and animal shows arena. The car parked. The lunch’s done (in the car; Medy’s mom kindly brought and packed us lunch boxes for each to have lunch, thanks tante). Ready to stroll the other amusements. BUT. THE VERY BUT. My period was so much the pits, I would change clothes if I could. There’s no need detail scene for this, I think, the point is that this incident got me all uneasy to the rest things we did there.
At 1 pm, we were too late to watch Dolphin Show.
At 2 pm, I forgot. I don’t think we went to no show. We were busy picking head piece at the Souvenir Shop, I guess, not we, but them. I wanted to have a headband with giraffe ear on it till I figured out I didn’t really psyched about it.
At 3 pm, Indian Tiger Show. This show just seemed not right for me. It’s sad if I remember it. So, there were two tigers, the yellow tiger and white tiger, each is accompanied by its keeper. The yellow looked healthier than the white one, I could see the bones from the skin, like it didn’t have enough meat or anything there is to eat, you know, I mean they’re lovely but seemed like they weren’t fed well. As the audience were shown how they like to drink milk so much, I started thinking if they drank that milk box in high desire like that I’m afraid they haven’t been fed enough until they did what humans told them to do things or atrractions for the show, coz it was! The trigger or the bait used for them to do all the attractions was a fresh flesh of chickens. I was angry as I saw the white one did all the show instructor told her (its name is Yasmin) in so limp way and she was so thin I cannot talk any more about this. She couldn’t make the hop from one stone in a human-height to another. She couldn’t climb the tree to catch a meat to eat, she was climbing down in the look of fear she did it carefully while the yellow one or the normal tiger should be doing it fast and agile. She was so weak, I and my friends could see. I felt sorry the show and the tigers. I hope animals with humans just doing alright out there.
At 3.30 pm, it was time for Bird of Prey Show.
At 4 pm, up for Temple of Terror Show. This show was like an action show included actors and animals, and using special effects too.
After Temple of Terror, there was no show anymore. Taman Safari seemed about to close in an hour or so, though. So, we just walking around the path, like, walking randomly just because.
I looked so fine at the photos, or doesn’t everybody in front of camera?
I was glad and had fun with them, though the period madness became such trouble most of the time, but I’m looking forward to this kinda good day ahead.
All pictures were taken by phone, so, pardon the bad quality.
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