#to you. they aren't real so to say kill them means nothing its not a real situation. and this isnt even like your in a jury to find someone

[batcavescolony]

(The Road To Civil War)

It's so interesting to see this brought up with other hero's, usually I see this with Batman. But it Really it's goes for anyone with a no killing rule, In this case Spider-Man. At what point are the deaths on your hands cus you didn't kill the villain last time. Spider-Man and Batman don't believe 'the ends justifies the means', to them killing someone is wrong no matter what. it's really easy for someone detached from the situation (or just reading a fake story) to just say yes, kill them. but really when push comes to shove would you actually be able to walk up to someone and kill them?

[pearlzier]

miscalcᅟᅟ꒰͡ ‎ ‎⭒۫ ‎ ‎ִ ‎ ‎͡꒱ᅟᅟulation

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀from the inbox / ok kjnda self insert bc work is gonna kill mr but 18 y/o dean winchester pining after the loser/shy girl (reader) in class and goes to buy condoms before one of the hangouts/dates and sees them behind the counter (they work there) and have to cash him out. like reader is thinking that they were lowkey dating and didnt think anything was gonna happen so theyre like "hey whwt the hell man" until he has to be like "uhhhh they were supposed to be for us"

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀warnings / loser!fem/afab!reader, smut, public sex kinda. they're in the back of a convenience store (real classy), virgin!reader, p in v, reader is wearing jean skirt, off the shoulder sweater, knee high socks and converse, THEY USED A CONDOM so proud, fingering

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀author's notes / cringefail loser shy reader is so me + thank u to 💌 anon ilysm :3

YOU AND DEAN ARE PRETTY MUCH OPPOSITES. like, on the surface. dean is consider the absolute hottie mchotson of your class. girls would do fucking anything for him. all because he has pretty green eyes and a nice face and smooth voice and what the fuck—he's just the total package. it's not like he's a stupid jock or anything either, kid's pretty smart considering the fact he's been through more schools, towns and guns than one could count. despite being 'the new kid', he acts like he's been in the same class with everyone for the past.. forever.

which he hasn't.

but you have. you've been in the same grade as all of the kids in your class, the same elementary, middle, now, and most of them still can't remember your name. it would suck if you weren't used to it. you kept to yourself anyway, not really wanting to interact with the superifical people who populated your grade. having been given the title of a loser, you had taken it in stride and worn it likr a badge of honour. literally, who cared if everyone you saw for like the majority of your life thought you were weird.

a big issue though—dean really fucking likes you.

much to the absolute horror, mortification, whatever words would describe a hatred for the fact that dean had eyes for you, of your peers. the guy who was considered an absolute bombshell by near damn everyone in the vicinity was pining for you. you. like, even you thought it was a stupid joke, like the ones guys play to make their friends like them but really aren't funny whatsoever—but no, he really did like you.

his confession of the fact that he really does like you literally went like this:

"i like you," he told you. it had all started because he kept staring at you and you thought that was freaky and weird, but it also made you feel nice which was freaky and weird in its own right. you'd confronted him about it, in a movement of misplaced courage, and that was his response.

"what—" you thought it would've been some like—just, not this. not the fact he had the hots for you, because damn. it was no secret dean was hot as fuck, but, you never would've thought.. you—loser. him? bombshell. "you like me?"

he looked at you funny, but nodded. "yeah?"

the conversation was far too questioning than statement filled. it was more like who could ask the most questions in a minute. "oh," you said simply, displaying how inept at social interaction you are. was that what you were supposed to say when someone told you that they like you? probably not. but it simply fueled his attraction to you. "i mean, i like you too."

"you like me?" his words mirrored your own previously and you nod dumbly, blinking slowly for a moment as he processed your words. "cool," he says, simply. then he asks, "wanna go to the diner?" to which you swiftly agreed.

so the two of you would hang out often. it was like, a date, kind of. you considered it dating, what you two are doing. and dean does too, both of you are dating, in a relationship. you're his girlfriend, he's your boyfriend. but nothing had happened between you in terms of.. intimacy. you'd kissed a few times, cuddled at your place since his place was a so called 'no go zone' . and did all sorts of couply things. he'd recently taken you to a themepark and after doing all the sweet lovey dovey things you'd proceeded to throw up in a bush. you preferred getting to cuddle and watch a movie with him afterwards anyway.

you didn't think much of dean calling you the night prior to ask if he could come over the next day, wanting to visit you. "can i come over tomorrow?" he asked, voice low with sleep as he shifted in bed, the shifting of fabrics and pillows being heard over the landline.

"you're asking like i'd say no," was your retort, literally immediate. a chuckle bubbled from dean and he rolled his eyes at your sassy behaviour, "damn, alright, sweetheart, i'll see you tomorrow then." and the call ended. things between you and dean didn't have to be long winded, seeing as the two of you were so blunt in nature anyway. you went to bed happy knowing your boyfriend was gonna hang with you the next day.

unfortunately, a dearly beloved thing called work existed, and you had a shift to finish up before the bliss of being with dean hit you like a tsunami. your beloved place of work is a convenience store which so happens to be frequented by the majority of people who go to your school. thank god for a lack of uniform, you got to wear whatever you wanted as you dished out cigarettes and candy to someone who definitely wasn't old enough to buy the former. hey, you had a living to earn.

you're zoned out like crazy as some music plays in your headphones, no one having come up to the front to cash out anything they wanted in a while. faintly aware of the front door opening, hearing the bell chime, you simply wait for someone to come up to you rather than seek more work. you really don't get paid enough to do more than the bare minimum of cashing people out. soon, a figure appears infront of you and you process that first rather than the items being placed down on the counter. "dean!" your voice is excited, maybe you could go straight back to yours with him rather than trudge home on your own as you usually do.

"hey—" he looks like he'd been taken off guard by your presence. he blinks slowly, glancing down in a comically slow fashion and so your gaze follows his and you narrow your eyes for a moment. condoms. you look back ip and find his cheeks flushed, and the slightly irrational part of you jumps to the immediate thought that those condoms were in fact for some other chick.

"hey, what the fuck, dude," you frown, but you don't really want to jump to conclusions. a part of your mind thinks you should've expected this from a guy like dean but he seems so genuinely innocent and confused that you don't voice that thought and simply look at him expectantly with a narrowed gaze.

"it's not like that, it's—" dean doesn't know how to get what he means across without sounding weird which ends up having him sound like an absolute douchebag. he stares at you for a moment with those green eyes and he goes to speak, but you beat him to it.

"i know i'm not.. that cool, but what the hell, man—"

now he cuts you off, with an, "uhhhh, it was for us," which immediately shuts you the fuck up. you blink, staring at him, and he continues, "like, i know we haven't done anything.. but uh, i wanted to see—if we did, i wanted to be prepared, y'know, sweetheart? i sound insane, shit."

"no, you don't, that's actually really sweet," you mumble, embarassed that you'd jumped to conclusions so quickly. a soft smile adorns dean's lips and he leans against the counter, catching your attention with a little look. "so do i get these condoms for free, considering my reasons for purchase?"

"shut the fuck up," you grumble, unclipping your name tag as you'd decided to go on a self-proclaimed break. you wander around the counter and flip the sign on the door to the one with horribly scrawled—'gone 4 lunch, be back or something'—before you hear dean muse, "guess that's a yes then." he thinks you look adorable in your jean skirt and off the shoulder sweater—not to forget the knee highs and converse.

"you're not mad at me, are you?" dean decides to ask as he pockets the now free condoms, making his way over to you whilst you head into the backroom. his eyes flutter around for a moment before he sits himself down on a box, taking you in for a moment before he glances away, finding himself noticing a lot more than he usually does.

"no, m'not mad," your head shakes as you slide your headphones into your backpack, and the test of the stuff you'd brought with you to work to pass the time. you're about to speak about how dean's unusually quiet when you feel him behind you, his hands sliding to your hips gently. he gently sways you, and a laugh bubbles from your throat, "what are you doing?"

"trying to uhm.." he doesn't actually know, and he scratches the back of his head for a minute before he twirls you around into his body and a boyish grin adorns his handsome features. "seduce you," seduce you? nice going dean.

"seduce me, huh? real smooth," dean didn't want to scare you or like frighten you or anything but.. he wanted to go a little further than the simple kisses and cuddles the two of you were so prone to. it's almost like you can tell he's thinking this, but maybe that's because he's so close and you can feel his jeans start to tent a little bit at the front against your thighs. "are we gonna—"

"only if you want to," dean had been with a few girls in the past, but he never felt the way he feels about you towards them. you'd had partners before but you'd never been physical with anyone in your life. the most you'd done is kiss, and the most you'd done with dean is kiss too. "if it's okay with you, i don't wanna make you unco—"

you shut him up by pressing your lips to his, which dean graciously accepts, and returns the kiss. his hands slide over the curve of your thigh as he tugs you closer to him, his plush lips parting with a soft breath and to slip his tongue into your mouth. this isn't new for you guys, the whole kissing thing, but it feels charged differently. "always feel so good," he breaths gently into your mouth, grasping tightly at you.

the two of you pull apart for a moment. there's a moment of quiet between the two of you before dean grasps at your thighs and lifts you onto the couch. it's got questionable stains on it, and most likely isn't the dream place to lose your virginity on but with dean? it is a dream. it really does. "you touched yourself before?"

you practically splutter at the question, lashes fluttering at it. you nod meekly for a moment though, chest rising and falling in gentle breaths. your weight shifts on the couch and you mumble, "yeah, i have," he seems pleased with this fact, as he mutters, "makes my job easier."

"just relax for me," he says softly, pushing you back. he runs his eyes over your figure for a moment, taking you in before he starts hiking up your skirt. "you feelin' good still? okay?" he asks gently, wanting to know whether you're still comfortable with what he's doing.

"m'good, m'okay," you affirm, feeling a twitch in your thigh with his fingers brushing your soft skin. he's hiking your skirt up your thighs, bunching it up around your waist before he meets your gaze again. swallowing hard, your chest rises and falls in gentle breaths. "just.. feels different."

"good different?" dean cocks a brow as he meets your gaze, fingers curling into the side of your panties before he slid them down your thighs. a soft smirk plays on his lips, and he coos gently at the sight of your puffy, wet count without fabric covering it. he swallows hard, not wanting to get ahead of himself but practically straining against his jeans with every look at you he gets. it's not fair on his heart nor his dick.

you flinch a little at the cold air hitting your pussy, "what? yeah, yeah, good different," your words are mumbled out, mind a little fuzzy from his fingers brushing up over your inner thigh. you meet his gaze, swallowing thickly. "good different."

"good," dean says quietly, blue eyes fluttering over you for a moment before he runs his fingers through your folds gently, a soft groan slipping past his lips at the wet sounds made by the action. you squirm beneath his touch, eyes meeting his once more. he starts once more, "gotta get you ready for me, okay? don't want it to hurt. gotta get you nice 'n' ready," he explains what hes doing, thumb sliding to your clit to apply gentle pressured circles. "is that good? d'you like that?"

judging by the pretty sounds coming from you, you like it a lot. "feels.. uhm," you don't know how to describe it since it's so different. "really good," dean laughs at your words with a little shake of his head.

"just good, huh?" dean muses, "think i can do better than that," he circles his thumb over your clit in a tight circle once more before his fingers glide over your soaked entrance. he runs his free hand through his hair for a moment before he pushes his fingers slowly inside your hole, watching the way you let out a soft sound instinctively at the intrusion. dean seeks your hand at that moment, his fingers interlacing with yours so he can hold your hand tight.

returning the grip, you hold onto his hand tight with a shaky breath. your free hand cradles his hand as your fingers interlace with his own, and you bring it close to your chest for a second. "holy shit," his fingers are bigger than your own, fill you a little more than your own and just.. feel better than rubbing one out. honestly, you're glad this isn't like the most romantic thing ever because you probably would've started bawling your damn eyes out. because he was being so sweet.

"you like that?" dean asks gently, coaxing his fingers further within you before they go as far as he can push them. you're so tight around him, he has to wait a little before he can slip them back again. he repeats the motion a few times to fight against your warm resistance before he gains a gentle rhythm, "this good? still feels good?

you were almost getting annoyed with him asking if it felt okay because he knew damn well it did, but it meant a lot that he was caring so much for your wellbeing even when he really just wanted to get inside you. "still feels good," you affirm with a gentle squeeze of his hand, and dean smiles softly, nodding. he tugs you closer, pumping his fingers into your wet hole fervently. seeing the way your legs tremble, he decides to rub tight circles on your clit in the process of thrusting his fingers. he meets your gaze, and he nods, "i got you."

borderline overwhelmed, your grip tightens hard on his hand. but dean can take it, so he simply brings you closer, continuing his motions. "dean—" your words are practically a whine, eyes darting away for a second, almost embarassed that you're coming so early. but you're sensitive and have never felt this good in your life, so within seconds, your thighs are trembling around his hand, a building pressure in your abdomen growing.

"close, huh?" he asks gently, feeling how your walls tighten around his fingers. he keeps up the pace, even increasing it to get you over the edge. you whimper shakily, crying out as your climax hits you like a damn wave. you pant, chest rising and falling in heavy breaths. dean's quiet for a moment, taking you in, in all your blissed out state. a soft, breathy chuckle slipping past his lips, he slowly eases his fingers from you. he watches how they glisten with your release, gently wiping it off on his jeans. "did amazin', shit," he's amazed by you, wholeheartedly. he'd dreamt, literally, of having you like this before and holy fucking shit, to have you like this, it makes his heart race.

"i feel like literal jelly," you breath out shakily, a breathless laugh escaping you. he smiles, sliding his hands to your hips and bringing you into his body once more. "is it like, time to—what do people even say when they have sex, i feel so stupid," dean laughs at that, shaking his head, "you sound fine, okay? and uh, yeah, i guess. i don't think i can wait anymore, s'practically killin' me."

shifting his weight, he lowers you back down against the couch and starting to unbutton his jeans, tugging down the zip afterwards. he tugs down the denim past his thighs, letting it pool around his ankles before he steps out of it. "damn," you mutter as you take him in, eyes dropping down to the bulge in his boxers before you meet his gaze, "need me to take care of that?" you joke, flashing a gentle smile before you giggle.

"you're such a fuckin' dork," dean rolls his eyes, watching you just for a second. his fingers curl into the waistband of his boxers, and he tugs them down over his thighs too. you instantly run your eyes over his cock, taking in the way his length hits against his abdomen, the precum oozing from the tip making it glisten slightly—you'd never seen a dick in person before but you were sure he had the prettiest one. "like what you see?" he can't help himself, flashing a gentle grin.

"looks like it, right?" you mutter, and he rolls his eyes, pumping his hand over his dick a few times, precum dripping over his hand for a moment. "gonna be smart with me, huh? after i've been so nice? breakin' my heart, babe," the two of you smile at eachother, and you shift your weight, a little apprehensive.

"what's it gonna feel like?" you wonder outloud, eyes meeting his. dean's quiet for a minute, grunting under his breath with a final pump of his dick before he rummages in his pocket for a moment. tugging out the condom packet, he tore it open with his teeth. he glanced at it for a moment before he slowly rolled it onto his cock, a breathy sound slipping past his lips. when he's done, he aligns himself with your entrance, smearing your juices around your hole once more as a precaution.

"full," dean knows what it'll feel like for him, tight, amazing, wet, the best feeling of his entire life. but for you? he'd never thought about it all that much. "good," he seems certain about that.

"you sure?" even you're a tiny bit sceptical.

"you don't believe me? you're gonna feel good, baby, i'll make sure of it," with that, dean slowly pushes the head of his cock into you, grunting almost immediately at how tight you are. his eyes roll back into his head a little, and you squeeze your eyes shut, lips parting with a soft breath. "see, feelin' good already and i haven't even fucked you yet," that's the side of dean you knew was hiding, from the moment he kissed you earlier. the cocky side of him, self assured, the one who knows that he's good in bed, the one who knows he can fuck a girl good.

"and why haven't you fucked me yet, dean?"

"tryna' be patient here, jesus. but you're beggin' me to fuck you? really fuck you? was gonna make love, but, y'know," he takes your words as an indication that you're ready. he bucks his hips a little more and he bottoms out within you, causing a sharp gasp to escape you. "and there we go, there she is. mm, feel so tight. so tight. been dreamin' 'bout this pussy since i met you," he's balls deep inside you, and you're proud of yourself for not cumming the moment he pushed into you. you grip his hands instantly, both of them this time, not wanting to let go. your eyes meet his and he looks proud of himself, self-assured, but so glad you're feeling good.

"please, uh, uh.. move," you say after you've adjusted to the size of him, your thighs drenched with your own juices already. dean nods his head gently, not before hiking your legs up around his waist to give him that leverage to thrust into you properly. "and if you ask me whether m'sure i swear to god de—"

he cuts you off by pulling out then thrusting back into you again, setting a quick pace. "you start gettin' mouthy with me, i gotta show you who's the expert, okay? i wanna hear those noises, 'cause i know they're pretty," his hips snap into yours, the sounds of skin smacking against skin ringing in your ears. you're dazed with the feeling of him pounding in and out of you, a feeling you've never felt before. but it feels so familiar, so right that it's like you've done this forever.

he was right, you do sound so pretty as he fucks into you again and again and again, showing that he does in fact know what he's doing and that he is in fact the expert here. not you. just watch and learn, is his point here. "i'm gonna, uh, fuck, come again—" you weren't gonna last long with him pounding into you like this, his balls smacking against your cunt only causing more pleasure and more wet, filthy sounds. "m'sorry.." you apologise, feeling a little pathetic for it.

"don't apologise," he mumbles, sliding his hand to your back and drawing you in closer, so he buries deeper inside you but also so he can hold you closer. "don't you apologise to me, babe, wanna feel it, wanna feel you come around me, that's all i ask." and you obliged, squeezing his hand tighter than ever as you gushed around his cock, making a mess of him. dean glanced down to see your juices practically spray out of you, and he smiles coyly, not slowing in his motions. you squirm, and he mutters gently, "just a little more, promise, just a little."

you relax, the faint feeling of overstimulation creeping up on you. however it doesn't last that long, as you feel dean's hip movements stutter then come to an end, buried inside you as he panted. his ropes of cum painted the inside of the condom white, a shaky whine slipping past his lips as he meets your gaze. "god, that was—"

"amazing," you breathed out, relaxing back against the couch. "i'd love to go again, but uhm, i—"

"s'alright, i get it," dean shifted, keeping himself within you. he maneuvers the both of you so you're on top of him. not for riding purposes, you guys could try that another time, but so he could hold him close. his hand cradles the back of your head gently, and he nuzzles you into him. "we should've done that earlier."

you mumble in agreement, "agreed," as you relax against him. "honestly, i was thinking of quitting this place but turns out it's a literal sex charm."

"we did not just fuck because you work at a convenience store, don't get that in your head, babe, i swear—"

𓈒⠀ ✧ @wi4hfulth1nking @t3l3vangelism @xoxotiffanysheree @https-roman @blue-d @lavieurs @drewstarkeyzwhore @a-cup-of-nightshade @1-read-the-hobbit-in-1937

[theminecraftbee]

Wels hums as he walks through the shopping district. He doesn't need much, but with the recent release of Overlord, he wants to hear if any of the establishments are playing it. He doesn't expect it somewhere like the Permit Office--Grian's spent too much time and money getting a song that was as perfectly annoying to be put on hold to as possible--and if it is playing in the log shop, he will laugh. But music tends to spread around Hermitcraft fast, and sure, this isn't about anything specific, but who's gonna miss a good opportunity to dunk on Doc?

He hears the backing beats from a nearby shop and hums along with them, walking down the path--

--then turns a corner and leaps back.

"You," Wels hisses.

Hello. Awfully rude of you not to include me, you know, says the specter.

"No, there's absolutely no reason for you to be here. None at all!" Wels says, throwing his hands up. "The last time I saw you was--gosh, I don't even know. Season Seven?"

Yes, yes, and the only time you saw me, you aren't lying to yourself at all, the specter says agreeably. Come on. We both know I was haunting you for what little of Season Eight you bothered to be around for.

"If you were on Eight then you super shouldn't be here," Welsknight says. He shakes his head and looks up at the shop playing his song. Joel's? Huh. Wouldn't have thought he'd have a reason to make fun of Doc. Welsknight removes his shaking hand from his sword hilt again and starts walking.

On account of you leaving everyone there to die, yes, we're both aware, the specter says.

"Oh, screw you, you wouldn't have done any different, get new material," Wels says. "Also, you aren't real? You're like, all of my insecurities or whatever. You don't even have a real body right now, no one's made you one."

The specter shrugs. I mean, if I'm the worst parts of yourself, really, you're the one who needs better material. Abandoning all your friends to die and then abandoning them altogether--it's a wonder they let you stick around!

Wels rolls his eyes and forces his hand to stay out of his inventory. Wouldn't do to give away that still even gets him. He peaks at another shop. They're playing the song too, but it's ever-so-slightly out of sync, which is kind of terrible. As he does, Cleo waves at him. Their eyes sort of stutter right past Helsknight, which definitively tells him exactly how much body the specter even has to possess right now.

"I'm actually having a great time with my friends this season, so like, the whole 'abandonment' song and dance isn't going to work this time. Started the season with them and everything; hard to even go for 'they'll forget me at the first opportunity' or whatever."

The thing is, the more Wels says it, the more its true. None of the insecurities and pain points that the specter is echoing back at him are what he was actually thinking about. He's been like... fine? Sure, he's definitely still got repressed negative traits, but nothing like "Xisuma's evil twin brother playing around with his head" or "the moon crashing and killing everyone" or "too depressed and burnt out to get out of bed" or "sort of considering abandoning everyone because that's like, his thing" these days. None of the things that should bring the specter that had haunted him since Beef's cloning machine back to him without a body. But Wels is careful about clones outside of something like Vault Hunters, where they're explicitly under his control. He, like, doesn't even armor stand much. So that can't be this either; Helsknight clearly doesn't have a body to be messing with Wels yet!

...Helsknight doesn't even have a body or an actual insecurity to be poking at Wels with yet.

He stops. He puts his hands in his pockets, and turns around to face Helsknight. He is no longer shaking at all.

"Dude, why are you even here?" Wels asks.

I told you, it was rude to leave me out, Helsknight says.

"What," Wels says.

The final bars of Overlord play over the speakers. Welsknight hums and nods before it suddenly clicks.

"What," Wels says again.

Honestly, you're not normally this much of a moron. It was rude to leave me out. Rapping is also my thing.

"Dude," Wels says.

I could totally destroy Docm77 any day. I would obliterate the fool you call a "friend" in ways you cannot comprehend. You invoke a sacrificial goat? I know ways he'd never recover, gods he'd never be able to retrieve himself from. It would be laughable. And you left me out.

Wels stares at the demon from his nightmares.

"You're mad at me because you didn't get to be in my diss track," Wels says.

You let me be in the last one, Helsknight says.

"Dude," Wels says. "Dude, that's pathetic."

Helsknight sniffs. I'm your worst qualities. What does that say about you.

"I didn't even write this for this season," Wels says.

That makes it worse, Helsknight says.

"I don't even know where to start? For one--no, I still don't even know where to start," Wels says. "This is like, the lamest reason you could possibly have to come haunt me. Go away, I'm basking in my like, top 3 charting hit on the Hermitcraft server."

Top three? Pathetic. There are only three songs. You'd be the top song if you'd simply included my power, Helsknight says.

"I can't beat the streaming minutes Grian puts on that hold--look, uh, dude. You're, uh, a very scary representation of my fears and worst qualities and all. Appreciate that. Next time I need to do a diss track, I don't know, maybe I'll invite you? First you've got to stop appearing solely to make my life worse, though. Bring me a cookie or something. I don't know, whatever demons do."

I'm not a demon, I'm a Shadow. We're different, Helsknight says. ...I'll think about it.

When Wels turns the next corner, Helsknight has vanished again. Wels stops in the middle of the street, looks around, confirms the specter has vanished, and then bursts out laughing.

"What the Hels," he says, somehow feeling lighter and more bemused than before. That's a new feeling with his doppleganger. Then, he goes to visit Big Wood. While Doc definitely isn't playing the song of his own accord, Wels figures that Beef just might, and given the day he's having, that would feel like a kind of irony Wels isn't sure how to describe. Besides, he wants to see if Doc will notice if Wels sets the song on loop or something. What can he say--the man's reactions to being taunted are spectacular, and Wels loves seeing them. Call it a bad quality of his or something.

[alvojake]

The Murder House | Epilogue

𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕/𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒐𝒏𝒆 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒕𝒘𝒐 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 | 𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆

「synopsis」 : it's been a few weeks since you managed to escape from the murder house, but it's not quite over yet. your brother's trial was right around the corner and everything is brought back to the table. after he's found guilty and sent to prison you are determined to find out some answers, though you aren't sure if you'll like what he has to say....

「word count」 : 6.2k

「genre」 : horror/thriller, gore, angst, psychological thriller, mystery

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, cussing, petnames (my love, love...), kissing, court trial, sister complex, familial issues, mentions of abuse (mental & physical), obsessive behavior, threats, mentions of death, gaslighting, lmk if I missed anything!

It had been raining all morning long, the rain softly falling onto the ground, decorating the windows with small spatters. Leaving the air with that fresh rain smell. It was something that you normally loved, but now? Now, all the rain did was remind you of those you have lost. Reminding you of all of the pain and suffering that they had to endure. Reminding you that your brother indeed killed them and that this wasn’t some sick nightmare. Reminding you that this is very real and this is now your reality.

Yet you couldn’t help but stand by the window in your now bare apartment, watching as the rain poured heavily outside. Soaking anything it could touch. The sound of the raindrops hitting your window and roof was almost hypnotizing.

The once steaming mug of coffee in your hand was now room temperature, as it had been long since forgotten. Your eyes fixed on nothing in particular besides the falling water droplets, watching as they crashed onto the surface of the window pane.

You weren’t sure how long you had been staring out the window, maybe five minutes, an hour, a few hours. Your sense of time had vanished, far too lost in your own mind to really know nor care. At least not right now.

“Hey, do you have everything together?” Jay’s sudden voice in the quiet space nearly caused your heart to lurch into your throat, the coffee mug almost slipping from your fingers as you looked over at him with wide eyes. Your heart races underneath your rib cage, almost loud enough to deafen you for a few moments. Noticing your distress, Jay stops in his tracks, an apologetic look painting his features, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine.” You whispered softly, setting down the cold coffee on one of the few tables that didn’t have anything sitting on top of its surface. Your eyes then travel around the empty living room, looking at all of your boxed-up belongings, the furniture holding these boxes. It felt… strange.

You had so many plans for this place, all the game nights you and the boys would do or the parties you would throw for one of their birthdays. All of those plans were left to dogs now. The only thing this place harbors now is guilt and longing.

Guilty that you couldn’t save them. Guilty that you didn’t catch onto your brother or Jake’s strange behavior before it got too late. Guilty that you got to live while they were buried six feet in the ground. 

“Hey, I see that look,” Jay’s voice pulled you out of your head once more, causing you to look up at him as he walked over, “stop blaming yourself, y/n; none of this is your fault.” His voice was soft, his hand moving to cup your cheeks softly.

“But-”

He didn’t even let you get another word out as he pressed his lips against yours, silencing any other protest that was to fall from them. His fingertips press against your jaw to angle your head a little bit better.

After a few moments, he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, “There is no ‘buts’ y/n. None of this is your fault, and I know the guys would agree with me.”

Curing your lips inward, you nod softly, prompting Jay to move back to grab your abandoned coffee cup. Your eyes glance around the room once again, a pain twisting in your heart.

“This feels so… wrong.” Your voice was low, not really speaking to anyone in particular, more so just voicing your thoughts. Jay dumps the coffee out in the sink before raising it out and setting it to the side.

Walking back into the living room, he finds you looking at a photograph, your eyes glassy as if you were about to cry. Walking over, he wraps his arm around your smaller frame, looking down at the photo as well. 

It was one from when all of you went camping a while back, sitting around the fire. You had managed to ask another camper if they would be kind enough to snap a few photos for you, and the nice lady was more than happy to oblige.

Your thumb brushes over your brother, who is sitting on the far side next to Sunoo, a huge smile adorning his features. It left you wondering where things had gone wrong or if it was just an act from the beginning.

“Riki’s trial is in three days,” You let out a breath you hadn’t even realized that you had been holding, “this will be the first time I’ve seen him since the house…” Tears involuntarily filled your eyes, and your heart felt as if it was ripping more and more as thoughts of seeing your baby brother up on that stand. 

“I’ll be right there with you every step of the way, my love.” Jay pressed a kiss to the side of your head, his hand rubbing up and down your arm soothingly. 

Licking your lips, you inhaled deeply before setting the picture back into the box you had pulled it out of. Closing it once more, you then swallowed thickly, turning towards Jay, who was still looking at you.

“How’s Jungwon?” You asked, resulting in Jay letting out a soft sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

“He’s still not awake, but he’s healing great, so the doctors think he’ll wake up soon,” Jay explained, a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

Jungwon had fallen into a coma shortly after getting to the hospital. The doctors had told the two of you that they should be happy that it was just a coma because, after all of the trauma that his body and mind had endured, they were surprised that he even survived the surgery.

You release your hair from the claw clip that was holding it up, running your fingers through the locks before clipping it up once more. Looking over at the window you saw that the rain had stopped, the sun peeking through the clouds.

“When is the moving truck supposed to be here?” You asked, looking back over at Jay, who had just pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“They said within the next few minutes, let’s start moving the smaller stuff down.” He relayed the information that he had been given before pocketing his phone to look up at you.

You nodded your head before grabbing a box and following Jay down to the bottom floor of the apartment complex.

~

After all of the boxes were piled into the moving truck, you moved away, allowing Jay to pull the shutter door close. You turn back to the building once more, looking up only to catch a glimpse of Heeseung’s apartment window.

Tears pooled along your waterline as you saw the small stickers that were still on the window pane. The very stickers that you had put on there yourself as a joke because you said his living room needed more color. 

You had fully expected him to go and scrape them off the moment that you had left the apartment, but they were there the next time you came over and the next, and the next, until you realized that he had no plans of removing them.

Jay thanked the truck drivers and promised to meet them at the new apartment before turning to tell you that everything was ready to go. However, he stopped short when he noticed the tears that slowly rolling down your cheeks.

Walking over with quick steps, he wraps his arms around your body, pulling you into his chest as sobs tore through your throat. Jay bit his tongue as he listened to your cries, knowing that your tears were soaking his shirt. He wanted nothing more than to help make you feel better, but he knew that it wasn’t going to be easy. 

It was never going to be easy. You both had witnessed your friends dying in front of you in the most traumatic way possible. That doesn't just go away, not that was something that is bound to haunt your sleepless nights for years to come. No amount of therapy was going to make that better, maybe help manage it, but that doesn't make it easy.

It wouldn't bring your friends back.

“I miss them so much, Jay.” You cried out as your fingers balled the fabric of his shirt into the palm of your hands.

Jay’s arms tighten around your body as he inhales deeply, trying his best to keep his own tears at bay. Then, leaning down to press his lips against the crown of your head, his eyes closed.

“I know. I miss them too.” He whispered against your hair, his eyebrows furrowed as the faces of your lost friends flashed across his mind.

After a few long moments, your tears finally ran dry once more, leaving your eyes stinging and cheeks flushed red. Pulling away from Jay’s body, you reached up to wipe the leftover tears that stuck to your cheeks and eyelashes. 

Letting out a shaky breath, you looked up at Jay, who was looking at you with such a soft and pitiful look that it only made the urge to cry again ten times stronger. However, you refused to cry anymore, so swallowing down the tears, you opened your mouth, your bottom lip trembling as you spoke.

“I just wanna know why, Jay.” You spoke slowly, scared that if you spoke any louder that the tears would start running again. “I need to know why so they can rest peacefully. I need to know the reason he did it.”

Jay nodded his head, agreeing with you as he trailed his hands from your arms to your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours. Bringing your hand up to his lips he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your knuckles.

“We’ll get our answers soon; we just have to wait a little bit longer.” He promised, thumb rubbing over your knuckles as he dropped your interlocked hands to his side. It was then that he started to feel the first few drops of rain on his face. Looking up, he saw that the sky had grown cloudy once more, meaning that it was going to start storming again. “Let’s get out of here before it starts pouring.”

He tugged on your hand, pulling you towards his car and opening the door for you. Climbing inside you snap the seatbelt over your body before watching as Jay rushed around the car to jump into the driver's seat.

The rain started to pour as soon as he shut his door, obscuring your view outside of any window around you.

Jay then started the car before pulling out of the parking lot, making your journey to the new apartment one filled with soft music and loving touches to help keep your mind from wandering too far.

This was your new life. You didn’t like it, but you didn’t have much of a choice. However, you were thankful to have Jay by your side through everything.

When the day for the trial came around your nerves were standing on end. However, you didn’t know the impact that seeing your brother walk into the room in cuffs, a dark and cold look adorning his face, would have on you.

Your mind went reeling when he took the witness stand, and his eyes found yours easily. A small, barely noticeable smirk pulled on the corner of his lips. The small action causes the room to erupt in a flurry of hushed whispers.

Jay squeezed your hand as your leg started to bounce slightly. The feeling of eyes on you only added to your anxiety, knowing that they were talking about you. Whether it was good or bad things, you weren’t sure, nor did you really want to know.

“Silence in the courtroom.” The judge took their spot, and the trial had started. 

You intertwined your finger in your lap as you tried your best to watch and listen as they questioned Riki. 

His expressions shake you to your core. He looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else but this courtroom. Looked so unbothered with everything and most of all. He looked like a completely different person.

There was no way that the man sitting on the witness stand right now was the very man that you called your brother.

Biting your lip, you continued to watch as they pulled up the evidence and further questioned Riki, but he barely said a word to anyone. His eyes only flickering to them as they asked a question that he deemed stupid, other than that his eyes were on you. Leaving you sitting uncomfortably in your seat, trying everything in your absolute power to not meet his burning gaze.

Then, there was a question asked that made your breath hitch in your throat, and your hands started to shake tremendously. 

“Did you or did you not kill Lee Heeseung, Kim Sunoo, Park Sunghoon, and Sim Jaeyun?” She asked as she walked in front of the jury stand, looking over at Riki, who had torn his gaze away from you to look at her with a blank expression.

Riki’s lawyer sat off to the side quietly, believing that he had talked to Riki well enough for him to keep his mouth shut; however, as soon as the boy opened his mouth, he felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.

“I did.” He shrugged, expression completely unbothered, “and I’d do it again.”

His words result in a few gasps around the room, as well as hushed whispers once more. Your ears start to ring, drawing out the noise around you as your eyes focus on Riki and Riki alone. He tilts his head in mock surprise when he realizes that everyone is looking at him like he is insane.

Riki then looks back over at you, meeting your gaze with a very sinister gleam in his eyes. Then he lets out a smile that matches that same gleam, causing your heart to lurch into your throat. Suddenly, everything in the room started to feel overwhelming, and it felt as if you were going to pass out if you stayed in the room any longer.

So you leave, jumping out of your seat, resulting in a few turned heads as you rush out of the room. Not sparing a glance at anyone as you tear the door open and run out, your heart beating viciously under your ribcage, and heat rushes up your neck, painting your face a deep shade of red.

Jay watches as you rush out of the room, contemplating on going after you. However, he didn’t want to miss Riki’s sentencing for you either. The detective that was sitting in front of you and Jay noticed Jay’s hesitation and turned to look at him.

“Go after her. I’ll come and let the two of you know the sentencing afterward.” He reassured the younger boy, who just looked at him with thankful eyes before standing to his feet.

He moved towards the courtroom doors, but he caught Riki’s gaze moments before reaching for the door handle. The look was one of pure, unfiltered hatred as he glared at the silver-haired male.

A chill ran down Jay’s spine as he turned away and walked out of the room to go and find you. He tried his best to ignore that glare that painted Riki’s features, one that told Jay that if he was given the chance, he would finish what he had started in the house months ago. That gaze, though, was now burned into his brain.

~

It felt like an eternity before the courtroom doors opened, and the detective walked out, looking around the hallway before seeing you and Jay sitting on a bench not too far away. Jay looks up to meet the detective's eyes, his hand still resting on the small of your back. Your head stayed down, face buried in the palm of your hands.

The detective walks over to the two of you, stopping just a few feet away, not wanting to invade any kind of personal space. His hands were stuffed in his pockets as he contemplated how to relay the information he had just gained from the previous room.

He then cleared his throat, causing you to glance up at him with tear streaks running down your flushed cheeks. It was a look that he had seen multiple times before in his life, but he couldn’t help but feel bad for you.

“Your brother pleaded guilty,” He relayed that information, and an audible gasp fell from your lips, fresh tears building in your eyes, “he was sentenced to life with no chance of parole or bail.”

A choked sob broke through your lips, your fingers tightening on Jay’s sweater sleeve as you took in the information that was just given to you. You knew this was coming. Knew that the chances of him getting life in prison were high, but you couldn’t help but still feel guilty.

Maybe if you had paid just a little bit more attention to him and his behaviors then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Maybe if you were able to catch on to the way he and Jake had been acting, then maybe you could have stopped it before it went too far.

You hadn’t even realized that you were picking at the skin around your nails until Jay reached over and grabbed your hand, stopping the assault on your fingers. Looking over at him with teary eyes, he just offered a small, sad smile before looking back at the detective.

Inhaling deeply, you also moved your gaze to look at the detective as well, “When will I be able to see him?”

“They are probably going to have him held until all of the paperwork is done,” He started, and you listened; your bottom lips got trapped between your teeth, “once the paperwork is done, they’ll transfer him to the prison facility, and you should be able to see him shortly after that.”

Nodding softly, you wiped the tears off of your face and sniffed, “Thank you, Detective Choi.”

“No problem, kid,” He then pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen before looking back at the two of you once more, “I have to go, but take care of yourselves.” Then, without another word, he walked away, leaving both you and Jay to sit in silence.

Jay squeezed your hand, which was still connected to his, gaining your attention once more. " Did you want to go and visit Jungwon before visiting hours ended?”

Your eyes flickered over to the digital clock that hung on the wall across the hall, seeing that you only had a few hours before they ended. It had been a few weeks since you’d seen the boy. Maybe you were too scared to see his almost lifeless form. Or maybe you were just scared that it would be the last time that you saw him.

“He’s okay, y/n; you don’t have to worry so much.” Jay’s voice was soothing, pulling you out of your head once again. 

Swallowing thickly, you nodded your head, wiping more of the tears from your face. There would be a time when you would have to go and see him, and what better time than now?

“Yeah, let’s go see him.” Your voice was shaky and unsure, but you stood to your feet, pulling Jay up with you regardless. Then, the two of you made your way out of the courthouse and back to Jay’s car.

Walking into the hospital to check in you both were left feeling a little uneasy when the nurse smiled a little too brightly when you told her who you were visiting. She had told the two of you that you could just head on up to Jungwon’s room.

“I wonder what all of that was about…” You spoke out loud as you walked next to Jay, your pinky linked to his. Jay hummed softly, telling you that he wasn’t too sure either, before stopping in front of Jungwon’s hospital room door.

Jay tried his best to keep the smile that was threatening to spread on his lips as he released your hand to place it on your back, urging you to open the door. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked over at him, confused by his actions.

“Why are you acting so weird?” You squinted at him, but your hand wrapped around the door knob nonetheless.

Pushing the door open, you walked into the room, hesitantly scared to see Jungwon lying on that bed, unresponsive. However, walking into the room you were met with a sight that you never prepared yourself for.

Your eyes blew wide open when they landed on Jungwon. There he was, sitting up in the bed, a pudding cup in one hand while a white plastic spoon hung from his lips. The sound of the door opening caught his attention, causing him to look over at you, and as soon as his eyes met yours, a wide smile broke out on his face, his dimples on show.

“Oh, my god.” Tears pooled in your eyes once again, your head swiveling around to look at Jay, who just gave you a smile similar to Jungwon’s. Turning back to Jungwon, your feet move before your mind can register it.

Walking over, you reach out to the boy, who sets his pudding cup down to encase your body in a hug as you practically fall into his arms. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you held his body close to yours, thanking anything and everything that he was okay and that he was awake. Pulling away, you grabbed his face in your hands, squeezing his cheeks slightly as you checked him over for injuries despite being in a coma in the hospital for the last month.

“When?” Your voice cracked as you released his face, looking over your shoulder at Jay, who had just walked into the room. He walked over to join you and Jungwon, sitting in the chair that was next to the bed, his hand resting on your thigh.

“This morning.” Jay chuckled as you looked at him with wide eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He wanted it to be a surprise for after the trial.” Jungwon cut in, causing your head to snap over in his direction. 

You were happy, beyond happy, that he was okay, but you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt that they had kept it from you until now. However, you weren’t going to let it weigh down on you for long. You wanted to spend time with your friend now that you knew for sure that he was okay.

“How much longer are they going to keep you here?” You asked as you made yourself comfortable on the end of Jungwon’s bed, giving him enough space to be comfortable. Fingers playing with the fabric of the blanket that was folded by his feet.

“They said they wanted to keep me for a few more days for observation, seeing that the knife wound is pretty much healed,” Jungwon explained as he grabbed his pudding cup once more, scooping a good amount on his spoon before sticking it in his mouth. “Also, how did the trial go?”

You inhaled sharply at the question, reliving the events and emotions all over again, but you knew that he deserved to know everything just as much as you or Jay. So you shift in your spot a bit before explaining everything that had happened in the courtroom.

Jungwon then sat there in silence for a few moments, taking in all of the information as he ate the pudding slowly. He then looked back at you, tilting his head slightly and pulling the spoon from his mouth.

“Are you going to go see him?” He asked, almost unsure if he wanted to know the answer or not.

Your tongue jutted out to wet your lips before nodding slightly, “Yeah, I… we need the answers.” You explained, causing Jungwon to nod. He knew you were right, that you all had questions that you wanted, no needed answers to.

“Just be careful; he could try playing his mind games again.” He looked at you with a worried gaze, worried that your brother could sway you into believing that what he did was right. You just gave him a small smile and patted his leg that was closest to you, reassuring him that you would be. He swallowed down the last of the pudding before setting the empty cup to the side and letting his hands fall into his lap, “well, now you guys have to catch me up on your lives.”

And that’s how the three of you started to talk about your lives after getting out of that haunting house.

After about two and a half weeks, they finally gave you the clearance to see your brother at the prison he had been transferred to. So now you and Jay sat in his car in the parking lot as you tried to gather all of your bearings to face your brother once more. Jay had his hand on your thigh right above your knee, his thumb rubbing your skin soothingly.

“Don’t stress too much, love; he won’t be able to do anything to you.” Jay’s voice was soft, and you nodded slowly, “Plus, I’ll be right outside, waiting for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thank you, Jay.” You whispered before looking down at the time, seeing that it was almost time to go. So, taking a deep breath, you gather yourself before getting out of the vehicle with Jay and making your way toward the prison doors.

After getting through security, you found yourself sitting in front of the glass divider, waiting for them to bring your brother in. Your leg was bouncing against the palm of your hand, the clapping sound being the only thing heard besides the faint ticking of the clock on the wall behind you.

The loud buzzer nearly made you fall out of your seat, your head snapping up to watch as the door opened. Your ears rang as Riki walked through the doors, his hands cuffed in front of him. His eyes found yours almost far too easy as he took his seat in front of you.

The officer had said a few words, but they weren’t heard over the ringing in your ears. He then walked back out the door he had come in from, leaving both you and Riki to sit in silence.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m surprised you even came.” His voice held a teasing tone, almost as if he were mocking you, “figured you’d be too scared to see me.” Your eyes snapped up to meet his, your heart dropping as soon as you did.

It was then that you realized that the man sitting in front of you was no longer your brother but rather just someone who had done a horrible thing. A thing that you wanted to get answers to.

“Why did you do it, Riki?” Your voice shook as you shifted in your seat, standing a little bit straighter, deciding that showing any kind of fear would only hinder your ability to get those answers you were seeking.

Riki’s head tilted slightly, a smirk tugging on his lips, “Why wouldn't I do it?”

Irritation started to bubble in your chest, the fear and anxiety you once felt now vanishing.

“Now is not the time to play coy, Riki. Why did you do it?” Your voice came out more stable, causing the male to straighten his head, his eyes narrowed into slits realizing that he no longer had you scared.

“You wanna know why I did it?” His voice turned dark, sending a chill down your spine, “Well, sis… you better listen closely.” There was an underlying tone in his voice that left you feeling uneasy, but you were going to stand strong. “Why don’t we start from the beginning, huh? Remember that promise you made me whenever we finally got out of Mom and Dad’s house?”

You did. You remembered that promise like it was the very day you had made it. That day was rainy. Both of you were soaked head to toe as you sat inside your car in an empty parking lot miles away from your parents' house. The heat was blasting through the vents in the hope of warming you and drying your drenched clothes. It was silent between you, neither of you knowing what to say.

“Are we really safe?” Riki asked, causing you to look over at him, your eyes softening as you took in the fear that was on his face.

You reached over the center console taking his hand into yours, encasing his fingers with your own. A small smile on your lips as you managed to lull him into looking over at you.

“I promise you, bub, that we are safe; we don’t have to worry about them anymore.” You started, your heart racing under your ribcage. “It’s me and you now. It’ll always be me and you.”

At that time, you hadn’t expected him to take that promise so seriously; you had made that promise knowing that the two of you would meet new people and eventually move on with your lives. Had he really thought that the two of you would be together until the end?

You looked up at him, your eyebrows furrowed, showcasing your inner turmoil.

“You broke that promise, y/n.”

“I did no-”

“You did,” He growled harshly, causing you to jump in your seat, “you were going to leave me for one of those douchebags. You were going to abandon me for what? Some stupid fleeting love that’s not gonna last?” 

Your eyes went wide as he started to get aggressive, your hands shaking. 

“Riki, I wasn’t going to abandon you.” You tried your best to keep your voice steady, “We’re getting older; we’re going to have our own lives. You couldn’t rely on me forever.”

Riki scoffs, anger flashing in his eyes, “So you were abandoning me?” You opened your mouth to protest, but he was quick to cut you off once more, “That’s why I needed to get rid of them all; only then would you realize that I was the only one you needed. The only one worthy enough to spend the rest of our lives together.” Hearing those words fall from his lips that you realize that something was immensely wrong, “I was almost there too, but then you had to go and try to be the hero.” He hissed, eyes boring into you with such a heated gaze that left your skin crawling.

“Riki-”

“No, because I went through all of that trouble just for everything to get fucked up.” His fingers curled into a fist before suddenly, his whole demeanor relaxed. The glare falling away leaving behind a smile that made your stomach turn, bile crept up your throat as the next few words fell from his lips. “But I’ll get to try again in the future, and this time…” He leaned forward until his face was merely inches away from the glass, “I won’t fail.”

You felt extremely lightheaded as you realized the weight of his words. The worst part of it all is you knew he wasn’t just playing a mind game; you knew that he would actually follow through with his word. Inhaling deeply, you reminded yourself that he was going to be locked away for a long, long time, and you would be just fine.

“You’re not getting out any time soon, Riki; what you did was wrong, and I will never forgive you for it.” You spoke lowly, scared that your voice would crack if you talked any higher.

Riki laughed sarcastically, leaning back in his seat once more, “I’ve done a lot of things; wiggling my way out of here won’t be much different.” His voice was cold, and he sounded so sure of himself that you had almost believed it, save for the fact that he had just outed himself.

“Times up Nishimura!” The officer exclaimed as he opened the door, the buzzer making you jump slightly.

Riki fought against his hold as he pulled him from the chair. " Let go of me!” he shouted, yanking his arm out of their hold. His eyes found yours once more. " Don’t worry, sis. I’ll be back for you, and then we can truly be happy together, just like you promised.”

Then, with that, they pulled him out of the room, and you were left in silence, only your thoughts keeping you company. You didn’t want to think about his words too much, knowing that he had a track record for playing mind games.

Another buzzer was heard, pulling you out of your own mind. An officer stood in the doorway not too far from you.

“It’s time to go, miss.” He spoke respectfully as he waited for you to gather your baring before standing on shaky legs.

You thanked him before walking out of the room and making your way towards the entrance, where you found Jay sitting, playing some game on his phone while he waited. Hearing the sound of your footsteps, he looked up, offering you a small smile, but it quickly vanished as he took in the troubled look on your face.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, standing to his feet and reaching out to grab your arm.

Looking up at him, you swallowed thickly and ran your fingers through your hair. " Um, can we just go? I’ll explain everything when we get home.”

Confused, he just nodded before leading the both of you out of the facility and back to his car. He had tried to ask you anything to get you to talk, even if it was about something dumb, but you didn’t utter a single word on the way home, your mind far too occupied.

You couldn’t help but wonder how true your brother's words were. Would he really be able to get out of there and go after you and your friends once more? Or was it just some hoax to get you all worked up and scared? It was a question that only time could tell, even if you truly hoped that it was all just words and that he was all bark and no bite. However, you couldn’t shake the bad feeling that filled your gut.

Months later, everything seemed to be going better. You and Jay were happy, and Jungwon was fully recovered and could get back to his daily life. The only difference was that the three of you made it a weekly thing to visit your friends' graves.

So that’s where the three of you were now, stepping out of Jay’s car to take in the breezy spring winds. You close your eyes and just let it wash over you, leaving a sense of serenity to fill your mind.

“Don’t forget the flowers in the back, Won.” Jay reminded the younger boy as he exited the vehicle, pocketing the keys before walking over to you just as you opened your eyes.

“Got 'em.” Jungwon held the small bouquet of flowers in his arms until you walked over and took a few from him, and he thanked you.

“Come on, it’s supposed to rain here soon.” You told the two boys before turning and making your way towards your friends’ graves.

The three of you chatted peacefully on the way there. However, noticing someone standing at the graves caused you to stop in your tracks. They were wearing all black, and their hood was pulled over their heads, so you couldn’t see any other features.

“Do you know who that is?” You asked Jay as all three of you watched the person walk away, their hands stuffed in their jacket pockets.

“Maybe a family member?” Jungwon asked, although his expression showed that he didn’t fully believe his words himself.

Trying to shake it off, you just moved towards the graves once more, the two boys following behind you. You spent a few good minutes making sure that all of the headstones were clean and pretty as you sat the flowers down. However, during all of this, and even as the three of you were leaving, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched. You had even thought you saw that same person out of the corner of your eyes, but when you went to look, you didn’t see anyone there.

‘I’m just paranoid, there’s no one here.’ 

And that’s what you continued to tell yourself despite the churning gut feeling that something just wasn’t right. You knew that your brother was locked away, and you could finally live your life in peace once more.

You were safe.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Right?

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[transmascissues]

a lot of people aren't going to want to hear this, but if you actually want trans men to stop "playing up" our assigned sex/"female socialization" or "walking back" on our manhood in conversations, here's what you need to do:

accept that it is possible for men (yes, 100%-men-and-nothing-but-men) to experience gendered oppression, including misogyny. accept that it is entirely possible for captial-m Men to have a lifetime worth of experiences with misogyny. accept that it is possible for men to be not just hurt by but systemically oppressed under the patriarchy. accept that being oppressed for one's gender does not require any proximity to womanhood. accept that it is possible for men to experience the things you call "women's issues". stop calling the misogyny specifically directed at us "misdirected". stop acting like our manhood somehow cancels out the oppression we've experienced. stop considering yourself more of an authority on our oppression than we are just because we're men and you're not. stop supporting activist spaces that expect men to "shut up and listen and be good allies" while everyone else task about their oppression. stop simplifying the complexities of gendered oppression to "man = privileged, woman = oppressed". you would distance yourself from your identity too if people used it to gaslight and silence you about your lived experiences.

stop acting like being a man makes someone somehow "less trans" or "less queer". learn how to view all trans people as equally trans and equally part of the community. unlearn your tendency to view manhood and masculinity as inherently less queer than other gender expressions. stop talking about how trans men are "the weakest link" or making "jokes" about how much worse we are than other people in the community or blaming us for all of its problems. stop acting like being men means we have less of a right than other trans people to speak on what it's like to be trans. you would distance yourself from your identity too if you knew that doing so would mean being more accepted by the community you rely on.

deconstruct your belief that cis manhood is the gold standard of manhood. stop telling trans men that it's transphobic for them to assert that their experience of manhood might be different from that of a cis man. stop trying to pressure trans men into never acknowledging how their transness makes their experience of manhood unique by accusing them of "misgendering themselves" or "saying trans men aren't real men". accept that trans men are not cis men and never will be cis men and are still 100% very real men anyway because cis manhood is only one type of manhood. understand that if you hear "trans men are different from cis men" and think that means "trans men aren't men", you're the one who's actually saying cis men are the only real men. you would distance yourself from your identity too if people said that claiming that identity required being exactly the same as a group you're not a part of.

get yourself a personality that isn't just talking about how much you hate men. stop telling all the men in your life how much you hate men and acting like their willingness to just take it is a measure of their moral goodness. stop making "jokes" about how trans men are "joining the enemy". stop talking about how much you wish you weren't attracted to men, or how much of a shame it is that someone else is. stop acting like womanhood and femininity are inherently pure and good and harmless while manhood and masculinity are inherently gross and evil and dangerous. stop acting like there's something inherently corruptive about existing as a man that fundamentally changes someone the second they come out as one. stop acting like it's funny to say you want to kill all of us as if there aren't countless people actively working to eliminate us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if everyone you knew spent their free time talking about how much they hate it.

help put spaces and resources into place that take trans men into consideration. stop getting mad at trans men who "call themselves men but still want access to women's spaces" and start looking at the world around you and asking why we want access to those spaces. open your eyes and realize that there is nothing out here for us, that all of the spaces and resources catered toward our experiences are marketed for everyone except us. ask yourself where the hell we're supposed to go when every clinic specializing in care for our bodies is a "women's clinic", when the only men's shelters are really just for cis men and the people advocating for "inclusive" shelters see all men as a threat to be warded off, when no one is willing to make an actual place for us and we have no choice but to just find the place that looks the least risky and hope they let us stay. put some effort into making this world more hospitable for us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the resources you need to survive were offered for every identity but yours.

actually show trans men some fucking love for once in your life. find it in your heart to actually give a shit about trans men, to see us as real whole people who are deserving of love and community, to see our needs and feelings as worth your time and energy. care about us, care about our lives, care about our health and happiness and well-being instead of abandoning us the second we come out as men. start valuing our presence in the community and realize that we actually have a lot to offer if you could just listen to us. ask yourself why you're so comfortable leaving us to fend for ourselves in a world that wants us dead and is currently being very loud about that fact. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the community that supported you for years suddenly stopped caring about you the second you embraced it.

y'all will spend all day talking about how horrible it is that some trans men emphasize that they were assigned/raised female but nobody actually cares why so many of us do that. no one actually bothers to ask why we would put so much effort into being recognized as men but be afraid to fully claim that identity. no one wants to consider that they might be part of the problem, that they might be partially responsible for the thing they're complaining about.

if you want trans men to be able to stand firmly in our manhood and not undermine it with a million disclaimers, you have to actually put in the work to create an environment that's less hostile to trans men who do stand firmly in it.

because right now, regardless of my own personal opinions on the ways some trans men talk about their experiences as "afabs" or their "female socialization" or being "men but not like that", regardless of what issues i personally have with those kinds of statements, i can't blame them. not one fucking bit. and if you actually looked at how the world treats us - how our own community treats us - when we do fully own our manhood, you would feel the same way.

and if you aren't willing to do these things - which are literally just basic respect and care for other human beings, by the way - you don't get to complain about the ways trans men deal with how people like you treat our manhood. you can't expect a problem to disappear when you won't even acknowledge the part you might play in causing it.

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

BNHA 430: This wasn’t very “My Hero Academia” of you I’ll be honest—

Okay, where do I begin? Uh. So the story reached its conclusion. Congratulations, and all the best to Horikoshi-san for telling the story he wanted to tell for ten years, loved the characters, the little world he created after the cancellation of his previous works, I will cherish it for the rest of my life.

... but in my opinion: the last seven chapters were so bad- I don't think I can see this ending as anything other than a contradiction of what we were shown. Like, I thought we'd get a twist, everyone would be fine, something would change. I'm wearing the clown shoes already.

So, I'm just gonna treat this as a normal chapter, and not a final one, because I'll be here for days if I open this can of worms, which, I will not lie, is very bad (I'll open it at some point, not now.) I'm posting this on the.. 6th? Because apparently there's an announcement in the 5th and I don't wanna spoil the fun.

So, uh, under the read more are my thoughts on the ending, be warned I'm very, very negative about it.

*sigh* Oh boi, how killing the League made this go from an "underwhelming" to a "tone-deaf" chapter- I mean, Jesus fuck, leaving things open-ended don't erase the fact they can't make a single appearence to prove me wrong, if they were alive, the last five chapters were a waste of emotions and keeping them hidden was a stupidly cruel move.

Funny the narration is just "people aren't equal but it's because of these differences that people find common ground to get along"- THE VILLAINS WERE KILLED OFF FOR BEING DIFFERENT BRO WHAT DO YOU MEAN- "if lending a hand and caring is being a hero then we all became the greatest heroes". Izuku, whatever you're drinking, I'm taking it and drinking it all by myself. You may have cared. But Tenko died. On accident. Because you gave him OFA.

I liked the "Midoriya-Sensei" part. For 5 seconds. It's fitting, he loves learning stuff, he's good with kids, until you say it's only because his embers were gone. Then why use it as a tease for seven chapters only to just get rid of them at the end? Is running to Ochako really the last we get to see him use it? Not even as a part-time hero? (not that it matters at the end-)

Ragdoll works with the WWP, Tsukuachi was head strategist in the final battle, Hawks is the (H)PSC president, why wasn't Izuku hired at an agency? Intelligence was a huge part of his character, yet the moment he was fully Quirkless again, he was out? Men truly aren't created equal...

"Cursed power", "blessing", "special" — the only thing special about OFA was being haunted by a guy whose brother was insane enough to hunt it down for generations. A Quirk's a Quirk; having multiple people/powers in one body isn’t special, Tokoyami and Shoto exist. Izuku made it special using it on his terms. But I guess "meant to save, not kill" was a lie, as eight out of ten people who had it died. Nine out of eleven, counting BNHA: HR. Tenko died because his body couldn't handle the Quirk, but I guess Izuku isn't gonna think about any of it? Katsuki was right about this too, holy shit.

Spinner wrote a book (not a comic, guess he took offense to Izuku. Fair, actually). Mr. Compress got a panel, but no real mention of the LoV? They broke the status quo for months (in-universe), and after all of that, nothing changes? Did Spinner know about Tenko, how he became Tomura? And the people who will read it and pull an MLA? TomurAFO had followers, now he's martyr a lá Re-Destro, I’m hoping Spinner didn’t commit suicide like that guy.

Ochako’s expanding Quirk Counseling. Reform’s implied (it only said expansion), but Himiko still became what Curious wanted her to be: A cautionary tale. And I’m still asking how Ochako knows Himiko went what through, she only told Ochako she was hated because of her Quirk and how she loves. I wanna think she’s reforming it, but nothing else changed, why should I think she’s the exception?

(At least she's seen as a hero on her rights… even if it took 429 chapters, messy writing, her face looking like rubber, and still being a girl recognized as a "caretaker", not a kickass hero).

Shoji's travelling through Japan to solve discrimination and got a prize for it. No foundations or mentions of Spinner being the main reason he did it, just "standing atop those who rose up eight years ago", just solving it peacefully, you sure are, buddy. Like, I'm sure you are being successful but how exactly are you solving this? I mean, you "solved" the hospital fight by fighting Spinner with Koda- Oh wait, time constraints, we can't elaborate how.

Shirakumo showed the noumu state could've been reversed, yet Katsuki, who never killed someone aside from AFO (and he was gonna die anyway), fatally exploded him. I hoped it was a misunderstood panel but no. He died because he wanted to save Tenko. Even fucking Gran Torino was alive by the end of this. Why.

I think Shoto is the only main character I’m not really having a problem with (Ochako's ending required Himiko for it to feel somewhat complete. Sorry, Ochako). I’m weirded out that they mentioned the billboard using the guy whose life was ruined by it as an example, but other than that, he’s doing fine. Wish we saw him talking to his siblings though. But alas. No mention of Fuyumi and Natsuo. And Rei's with Endeavor. Fuck.

Inko got so sidelined when Mitsuki and Masaru got half a chapter, by the way. Just one panel for her, the protagonist's mother.

Schedules not aligning is one thing, but Class A not opening an agency together? They survived two wars together and you're telling me they wouldn't say "WE'RE WORKING TOGETHER AND WE'RE TAKING MIDORIYA WITH US"? Also, where’s the "world where heroes have time to spare" when they look so busy? Were they understaffed or working as celebrities? (if someone says it was for the suit I will point out to the three nepo babies of Class A, Katsuki’s a dumbass if he forgot that detail).

Dude. We wasted pages on a kid that can throw plates from his hair. To tell him he can be a hero. Coming from the guy who had to go when he lost OFA. I'm not taking this parallel seriously.

I wish Izuku wasn't in "everything’s fine" mode until the end. We're really gonna leave him at "implied" mode, not confirm if his mental state's fine? Being open and emotional was an appealing part of him and now we just get “Yeah that’s just how it is”.

This one's petty and irrational, I know, but since I'm letting some of the steam out: I hate Izuku's new design; face scars (the constant "HE FAILED" reminder makes my eye twitch and I wish that was a joke, but also so many characters in BNHA got face scars, it doesn't even stand out), "perfect tie", normal formal attire- where's the character highlights? The things that make Izuku stand out?

But hey: He gets to be a hero again! Not with skills, heart, intelligence, strength, in spite of Quirklessness. No, he has an Iron Man suit! That Class A paid billions for. The government should be paying Class A and B (and Shiketsu and Ketsubutsu) instead, but all they get is a pat on the back. If the suit broke down, hurt or killed him while in it I'd laugh (Hatsume and Melissa worked on it? Oh it's gonna happen). And Toshinori, what happened to him, did he hit his head when he landed on that building!?

Went from: Smiles cover his fear and reassure people, believed saving is about saving body and soul, wanted to help Tenko, only didn't because Gran Torino said it wasn't a good idea. Disliked people were being heroes for fame and not because it's the right thing to do, only used support items as reinforcement and a precaution, never as a full solution, even Iron Might was so he’d have a chance to fight, not a solution.

To: If Tenko died smiling, it wasn't resignation, he was saved, even though he died. Didn't care AFO killed the Shimura - his mentor's - bloodline. Is fine with the billboards existing, even though it caused things like the Todoroki plotline. Now he's giving Izuku a suit, when the last time he did it himself, it didn't save him and his spine was almost snapped? Dude, what?

Also I thought he was paralyzed but I guess he just had a bad back.

... I hated BKDK's conclusion. It's actually so laughable how much I hate it. If it had another outcome, I'd probably be overjoyed. But:

Thematically, Tenko wasn't rescued, it wasn't a perfect victory because AFO still got away with what he did to him. "End of an Era and The Beginning" is hollow, nothing changed for the world they lived in, and it doesn’t look like they stand out among other heroes (these are AM’s successors. How.) What new era is this, really?

Their resolutions and relationship rebuild? Offscreen, but Katsuki was the one with the Iron Man suit idea for Izuku and apparently that compensates for it. Because he’s the one who can solve all of Izuku’s problems now, not motivate him to be better anymore. It wasn’t even Izuku’ idea, it was Class A, and sure it’s a nice gesture but we’ve seen Toshinori barely come out alive even with one.

Izuku barely batted an eye to any of the things he went through - losing his arms and/or OFA? Seeing Spinner's breakdown? Lady Nagant!? Katsuki or Tenko dying!? SOME INTROSPECTION, PLEASE IT’S BEEN OVER 100 CHAPTERS SINCE YOU’VE BEEN THE EMOTIONAL MC—

Katsuki's insecurities were for nothing by the way! Izuku's empathy and heart never mattered, a Quirk was more important to be a hero in the end. BULLIED HIM FOR NOTHING BUDDY- shouldn't have done it at all but wow did it become even more pointless in hindsight. Like Twice's death. Or Katsuki’s death, since “Control Your Heart” meant nothing as well.

Izuku still remembers Tenko, but has he done anything about it? No one wants to remember him, Himiko or Touya. Spinner's book will not be taken seriously, Mr. Compress was sidelined, Twice's death was pointless. They didn't change society, they've returned to the status quo. Pointless as Izuku losing his arms.

That fucking suit- Wow, he really couldn't be a Quirkless hero, the casual rivalry was just erased for an easy way out of Izuku's consequences, there's no catching up because Katsuki paid for Izuku a way to be a hero. He went full on-simp in the most disrespectful way.

And it ends with Izuku seeing Tenko's... Ghost? Hallucination? Vestige? I guess we’ll never know, because Izuku’s following his dreams again! Let's ignore he's doing this during class hours and he definitely should be in UA but who cares, he probably quit and we'd never know, as aside for the BKDK/DKBK fics, being a teacher was clearly a inferior choice for him and he can't do both ignore Aizawa and Present Mic look at him being the world's greatest hero!

It just took 1 year of trauma, scars, following on his mentor's mistakes, losing the thing that "actually" made him be a hero, having the first and the last people he tried to save dying because of his existence (one literally by his hands), proving anyone can be a hero! By ignoring the guilt of those you failed, give hands and sparing your thoughts, having superpowers and/or connections who'll give you a suit! Fuck this shit I swear-

A story about hope bent itself over to give the protagonist an unearned happy ending, when it said it was for every character who wants to connect to that hope, who wants to give that hope. Izuku went from "wanting to be a beacon of hope and save people" to "talk about beacons of hope, but in the end, others are doing this better than you. You had none of the willpower to be one." He's not hope or unity. Act 3!Izuku is just a plot device, I feel nothing for his ending other than irritation.

You could’ve had the BKDK proposal with a double spread handhold, and I'd still think Izuku's ending isn't earned anymore. His "happy ending— actually. BKDK crumbs are compensation for this ending, I feel cheated out of this ship (I feel like I'm shipping the version of them in my head, nott the canon one 424 onwards, and it only got worse from there-)

So. Yeah, those are my thoughts about the ending. I think. I don't know if these are all of them. I feel horrible about hating it, but I've sat on this chapter for days and right now, not a lot can make me like it, especially with the timeskip, which made this "open ending" a rushed and incomplete mess. If you disagree with me, honestly, that is very fair. I'm glad for you if you liked the ending. I'm just disappointed, and wanted to share my opinions. (and I do have more stuff to say about it but I think I've been negative enough)

But for the weeks I spent hoping this wouldn't slap a classic shonen ending in this catasthrophic mess and for making me feel like a dumbass after what we got in the end: Everything after 410 that isn't 421 and 422 is non-existent to me, this epilogue was a freaking waste.

Thank you for reading.

[slocumjoe]

could you do companion react to sole just kissing them? like, we can assume they’re really close and basically a situation ship at this point. you’re writing is so unique and thought out and I would love to see your take!

Companions react to Sole Doing The Damn Thing

*ringing a giant church bell i should not have access to* GAGE STANS COME GET YALL JUICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cait; That's not going to go over well with Cait. Her first instinct—and her strongest—when someone tries to kiss her, is violence. Sole is getting a broken nose out of this. Though, as her knuckles connect, her brain will catch up and realize oh. But luckily, Cait has some time to process what just happened. Because Sole kinda...needs some medical attention...Sole can't tell what Cait's flustered about, the kiss or the punch. Cait says they're seeing shit and to shut the fuck up. But...she, red as her hair, will lean in, and quickly kiss their nose better.

Curie; Probably also not immediately happy...Curie canonically gets and is frustrated with people coming on to her, and her own instincts might not be murder...but Sole will be getting an incrediblely nasty look before she remembers who they are. Most likely to still not appreciate it fully after realizing. She'd rather properly discuss their feelings first before moving into anything physical. Curie is a very proper, by-the-books woman. And she had a courting itinerary! She'll take this as a cue to get started on that bucket list, but the first one was surprising Sole and ask them out...she was going to make dinner and everything!

Danse; Are you trying to kill him. The only companion to make a noise. Freezes up, goes ramrod stiff. Doesn't move, doesn't breath, doesn't do anything for much longer than is considered normal. The best course of action, here, for Sole, is to just keep kissing him and hope his brain auto-starts. It's like trying to jumpstart a dead car battery, y'know? If Sole kisses and backs away, there is a very real chance Danse will misinterpret it or convince himself he imagined it. But if they keep going...well. Nothing to misunderstand there, right? The Thoughts don't come until later. Head is EMPTY.

Deacon; stares at them for a few seconds, blinking. Flashes some finger guns with an "ayyyy" and runs the fuck away. The bitch flees the scene. Why would you do this to Deacon? This is almost as mean as doing it to Danse. Best bet is to let him run, grabbing is just going to postpone the running. He'll spend a few days in isolation like some kind of monk. Think about it, his feelings, Sole's, what he wants. Then he goes back and does the same shit to Sole when they aren't paying attention. No one surprises Freaky Deac and gets away with it. No one.

Gage; As Sole gets closer, he notices and intuits that they're going in for it...but, nah, no way. Why would they? But...but they are, right? What else could that be? No, surely—wait, are they? What are you doing? No? No. But maybe? Yes? YES? OH ITS YES, FUCK, WHY DIDNT YA MOVE YOU DUMB SHIT? Imagine Sole going in, Gage tensing and doing 3d calculations, and the Jaws tune playing. Like Deacon, don't try to keep going. Gage is recoiling and grabbing him as he's backing away triggers Fight instinct. He recoils, takes one hard look at them, and says, in that voice smooth as piss and vinegar, "Now, what the fuck was that?" Is that what he meant to say? Nope! And Gage will forever suffer the memory of basically going 'ew' the first time his partner kissed him.

Hancock; Off to the races. Think about it? About what, how good they are at kissing? And sneaking up on him, evidently? Nope! Hancock knows where to go from here. Hancock spends the next month worrying himself sick about jumping into a relationship with someone he loves dearly, without knowing if he himself is capable of upholding his end of the relationship. Ends up crying in Nick's lap about how he's ruined everything. Sole has to explain to him they've basically been in a relationship for a few months and he's doing fine, please be easier with yourself.

MacCready; I FORGOT DEAR RATBOY MacCready was married, and I have to imagine that two teenagers getting together would have done something similar...So, Mac will 100% be stumbling and flustered, but he's not going to brick like others. You'll get an awkward, blushy Bobby grinning at Sole, asking if they really feel that way? He wasn't just imagining it? Oh, nice. So, you wanna...talk, or...keep doing what you're doing? He's good with both. Real good.

Nick; Oh, we're done dancing around this? Great. If Sole wants to just get jiggy right away, will ask gently if they can discuss the Elephant first. But Nick isn't shocked or anything. This has been going on long enough, it was either happening or it wasn't. Well, now its happening. He'd blow a party favor if he had one. Anyway, he's all too happy to finally get this sorted out and started. Even happier he wasn't the one who had to bring it up. He could have, but God, that never fails to twist the guts up.

Piper; Very similar to Nick. Okay, so, are we a thing, or are you teasing? What's your angle, here, what are we doing? The longer the situationship has been going, the more suspicious she is. If Sole fails to sufficiently explain in the 3 seconds they have to, Piper huffs, leans in, and quickly kisses them back. There. Now we're even. If Sole goes back in for their revenge, great news, they've convinced her. Now how about they actually have a relationship now. Piper has done the half-on, half-off thing, and uh...no.

Preston; has too many issues to just throw himself into a relationship like that...especially if he can't pinpoint where it started. Similar to Curie, it doesn't matter how close he is with Sole, he would rather have talked about it first. I mean, he's happy, and flustered, but beneath the dopey grin, he's a little exasperated. C'mon, he had a whole conversation planned, and Sole pops that cherry with one kiss? Alright, works for him. Not complaining. But maybe give a guy some warning? Like, are they dating? Have they been dating? They really need to define this relationship.

X6-88; Haha, you think Sole is going to catch him off—oh shit they did. And...they survived? Wow, they are powerful. X6-88's reaction is the same as Gage's, calculations and all. Except, when he demands an explanation, it is exactly what he intended to say. Seriously, what is this gesture? You're supposed to do it with your romantic partner, but he's seen people do it with someone who decidedly wasn't. He's also seen family members kiss each other on the cheek, and friends. And he's heard of Curie's people kissing everyone regardless. So, what is this? Sole has to explain to him this one is romantic and I'm trying to pursue you romantically. At that point he panics and its a mess from there. Lots of internal crisis, lots of Nick banging pots and pans, screaming YOU HAVE FEELINGS, PANIC IS A FEELING.

[dw-flagler]

In this post, I will attempt to calmly, reasonably, and in-a-good-faith-manner argue all the points raised by tumblr user @library-bat-girl in the following posts. I am starting a new thread so as not to further destroy the original poster, @skitterenjoyer's, tumblr notifications. Worm (+MHA) spoilers ahead. This will be a long post.

Firstly, I would like to apologize on the worm fandom's behalf. We will not engage in ableism of any kind. I sincerely hope that this was a singular incident and @skittersdrippygirlcock will be better about this in the future.

"MHA has better characters,"

My Hero Academia's primary achievement, I think, is managing to make many decently well rounded characters in a fairly short time-span. It certainly has very good visual character design, with easily memorable character designs, like Mina Ashido or Tsuyu Asui. Most of Class 1A is shown to be more than single-note gimmick characters. For a story with such a tight schedule, and only so much page real-estate, that's impressive! For instance, a character decidedly outside of the main cast, Fumikage Tokoyami, is shown to have more to his personality than "is an edgelord," showing a humility and friendliness that is highly against-type. This is very different than a lot of its peers, especially in Shonen manga, where side characters (and sometimes even main characters) are never more than their tropes (see Fairy Tale, One Punch Man*, The Seven Deadly Sins, or Black Clover). My Hero Academia does clear that bar, by making side characters little more than their tropes. This is to say nothing of the primary cast, who, again, is largely defined by tropes and easily slotted into standardized interchangeable Shonen roles. Rival, Love Interest, Rival but Nice About It. Additionally, MHA has an uncomfortably sexualized main cast, for one composed primarily of minors.

This is compared to Worm, in which many characters are fully realized and could have been the protagonist (and often were in older drafts of the story, due to Worm's 10-year development hell). Every character that gets an interlude, and most that don't, all have fully realized interiority, traumas, and wants. In fact, this is one of the major themes of Worm. Every character, from the protagonist Taylor, to characters so minor they're seen only once (see Damsel of Distress, Dauntless), to major antagonists and monsters (see Jack Slash, Bonesaw) all have their own story, even if this is never shown on-screen. There are no "side characters" in the same manner as in My Hero Academia, because every character is a protagonist of their own story, and not in a trite "life is so beautiful" way.

Taylor isn't the center of the universe, there's an entire world outside of her 3-block bubble. The mechanism by which all characters get their superpowers means that the mere fact of having powers implies this about them. Even the seeming exceptions, aren't (see Alexandria, Garotte). Taylor is a good character. I don't even know how to elaborate on that. She just is. Worm does not have the character Minoru Mineta.

"a better plot,"

What... what is the plot of My Hero Academia? For the life of me, I can't seem to recall. I can tell you the general formula of most of the arcs for the first ~2/3rds of the story. Class 1A goes to do a hero high school thing, like do rescue training, or on-the-job training, or on-the-job-training, or on-the-job-training (they do it like 4 times for some reason), the League Of Villains shows up (even when it's seemingly not the league of villains it actually is the league of villains) they fight about it, the class beats all the villains, and Deku beats up strongest bad guy and also breaks his bones. Repeat step 1. But like. What's... the plot? The League of Villains is evil and wants to kill people and do bad stuff. They explicitly do not have greater motivations. There's generally themes of passing-on-to-the-new-generation, so there's Tomura Shigaraki as the arch nemesis to Izuku Midoriya, just as All Might's Nemesis is All For One. Eventually they fight a big fight about it and I stop reading because I find out about Worm. From what I understand (I have not read the conclusion) the series ends without addressing any long-running questions, wrapping up any character arcs, or concluding anything in a narratively satisfying manner. As if severely rushed.

Worm, there are maybe 15 main stories going on simultaneously, which are all tied into the final confrontation with Scion. The most obvious is Taylor's and the Undersiders' story, about taking over Brockton Bay and defeating Coil, which is a smaller part of Coil's story about taking over the bay, until their confrontation with him in arc 17, when it supersedes Coil's story, and then intersects with Cauldron's story, the Traveler's story, the Case 53s' stories, the Wards' story, all of it, in arcs 18-19. This is one example. A great deal of attention is spent making sure the reader knows that Taylor, the Undersiders, Coil, all of them, are bit players in a very large game. Despite this, it's never hard to follow, because Wildbow, while lacking some of the more flowery prose, manages extremely well at making his stories easy to understand.

"I feel like even people who like Worm can agree that Worm is not the most consistent piece of fiction ever written. The disjointed way it was written meant that emphasis was primarily put on 'What Wildbow thought was cool in the moment', [sic] and the story RADICALLY shifts gears every time a new arc starts."

What? Huh? Worm is extremely consistent. Like. 1.1 to E.x. It's, like. Not disjointed? Oh my god, are you talking about interludes? Is that what you mean? The interludes shift gears? Because that makes sense. It's one of the hardest things about worm, yeah. It's gripping! The interludes are a great idea to expand the world of worm, but the problem is that taylor's story is so intriguing that stepping away from it to focus on something else is hard, no matter how individually interesting. I want to read about taylor's escalation spiral, not the travelers! (As opposed to My Hero Academia having random escalation and de-escalation between arcs with no real explanation. We're reading about lives-on-the-line battles with child-slavers and then move to playing on a playground with little kids? Best I can think of is that this whiplash is intentional, but this is never communicated to the reader. Worm does not do this. Any de-escalation is met with the explicit understanding that this is merely a period of calm before things get even worse). Taylor's story wraps up in an extremely narratively satisfying fashion, following her story to its logical conclusion. There were so many ways it could have been avoided, but there was really only one way that it could have ended.

"better worldbuilding,"

This actually offends me. MHA could have had great world-building. It doesn't. Every potentially interesting bit of world-building is backpedaled out of or stopped before it could get anywhere. Or it's just never elaborated or expanded upon. Everyone having a superpower could have been cool, but the implications of this are nonexistent. The reasons for this having no real implications, that being the banning of quirks, also has implications that are also immediately backpedaled out of. It's been hundreds of years since our time, yet life is exactly the same. Nothing ever happens. Endeavor is a cool concept. I like Endeavor. his existence implies such interesting things about the world, how important hero ranking is to these people's lives, that he would create this horrific system of domestic abuse to try and get to the #1 spot. What does this say about this system of heroes that operates like a popularity contest? It could have said a lot. It says nothing. What does the League of Villains, a league of people who call themselves out-and-out villains, who base their ideology in opposing this system of heroes, say about society? Nothing. On purpose. Worm does something with this. One Punch Man does something with this. My Hero Academia puts it in the story, and lets it sit, unused, for a decade.

Worm has... unique world-building. Because it's both good and bad at the same time. Worm's #1 feature is its world. It's brilliant, full stop. Triggers, The Birdcage, the PRT, Exclusion Zones! Why does the status quo exist? what does it say about that society? What does it say about our society? Why hasn't society radically changed from how it is in our world? This is explained. This plays into the themes. The story wants to say something about this world, and so it does. There are characters whose stories explicitly delve into these themes that are set up in the worldbuilding, like Armsmaster, or Battery, or Bonesaw, or Coil, or Piggot or Alexandria or Taylor herself or Brian or Lisa or ANY OF THEM THEY ALL DO THIS. Sorry.

Anyway, the bad part is that the actual world is not well built (and is kind of racist). What's going on in Europe? There's a 3 blasphemies! a 3 what? never explained. What's going on in Asia, aside from Japan? China is a monarchy for some reason. Why? It's never elaborated on. India gets a little bit of elaboration, we're told its different but not how it's different. Wildbow uses machine translation wrong and names some guy caliph of dogs. This is like worm's #2 problem honestly (#1 is Amy). Wildbow tries to make the implication of a well thought out globe without actually making a well thought out globe.

"stronger themes,"

It really doesn't. As I said in the worldbuilding section, MHA makes a point out of not saying or doing anything. I don't know if editors made Horikoshi walk back the more ambitious story beats or what, but there are multiple points in the story where the author pretty much looks you directly in the eye and goes "This Story Isn't Saying Anything At All Even Though It Looked Like It Would. Lmao."

Worm has lots of themes. I think Armsmaster/Defiant's story is my favorite. His entire character arc (which is fully realized despite him being a background character for nearly the entire story) has a point to it. It says something. It's misanthropic and uplifting simultaneously, and manages to feel like it earns both. It's a shared theme with Bonesaw/Riley's story, explored in two different ways.

"Meanwhile MHA establishes an actual overall theme/message right from the start that expands and develops throughout the story. The worldbuilding is informed by the message, which informs the characters arcs and the people they become by the end of the story."

I notice that you never actually say what that message is. What is it? Like, for real. I'm not being confrontational or anything, like what is the message? Cuz' I can't think of one. My Hero Academia, at its very core, is a defense of the status quo. Much like its world-building, but much less forgivable, because it does do something new and unique with its world-building. MHA could have done some extremely interesting stuff with its early implicit critique of heroic society as shown with characters like Bakugo, or Shigaraki, or Endeavor, or Overhaul, or Midoriya himself! It just doesn't! It doesn't do stuff that Worm does do!

Worm does have a message. It has a lot of messages, actually, some that the author disagrees with somehow. Prison abolition, for one. We know Wildbow loves prison. Anyway, the big one is in the subtitle: doing the wrong things for the right reasons. Taylor's constant spiral of escalation, her dwindling attachments to her friends and greater focus on treating herself like a soldier is prevalent, and it is to be avoided. Taylor isn't a sin-eater. They don't exist. From what I remember, this is sort of explored in Deku's character arc for a short period of time, but much like everything else in MHA, it is backpedaled out of.

The funniest is "don't text and drive" though.

"Just on a basic level the way that the audience is meant to feel about Taylor oscillates wildly between being directed to think of her as a misunderstood victim of circumstance, or history's greatest monster."

That's kind of the point. Like. the audience isn't meant to look at Taylor the same way throughout the entire story. It's meant to change as she changes. Taylor's opinion of Taylor changes. The mistake here is saying it "oscillates wildly." it doesn't. It's a slow and steady change for the worse, as Taylor gets more violent and starts throwing away greater and greater parts of herself to become more like a robot and less like a person.

"But a bigger issue in general is tone. It's very focused on being dark and gritty and edgy, and it makes the mistake a lot of consciously edgy media does. IE: it thinks that all it has to do to be smart is be bleak and/or graphic. It doesn't really try to say anything, in fact it contradicts itself throughout the book as I mentioned before, it just throws in extremely graphic scenes and content periodically to remind the audience how fucked everything is."

Did you read the boys and think it was worm? What? It's not being smart when it's bleak or graphic? I actually personally like the endbringers or the slaughterhouse 9, and not because I like watching people suffer. These things exist for a reason. It's not being dark for the sake of being dark. The heroes could stop the slaughterhouse 9. We see that, when they almost stop the slaughterhouse 9 (it's explicitly shown that they are stopped from destroying the slaughterhouse 9). The question then becomes why don't they? It's a grim, brutal calculus, and one that wasn't worth it. That's the point. The Endbringers are different. It's not until arc 27 that they're really explained. You could either read them as a criticism of Eidolon or of ableism, honestly. I mean, it wasn't intentional, he didn't create them on purpose, he needed something to fight, because without that he's nothing. His powers are all he has.

"Worm spends so much time trying to be edgy that as with a lot of edgy media the edginess loses all impact quite quickly and becomes sort of cringe."

I don't really think so, but like. Okay. I don't think this is a reconcilable viewpoint (none of this is really but this especially), so like we're probably gonna have to agree to disagree. The only thing I can really think of as edgy for the sake of edginess is Amy's arc. But even that's not really true. It's meant to be an utterly avoidable tragedy that could never have been stopped because of the people involved. Much like Taylor, actually. Amy could have stepped back from the brink, but she didn't, because Amy could never have done that, and nobody else was willing/able to help. It's supposed to be a thing where you sit back and think of all the tiny ways this could have easily been avoided, but wasn't.

"When body horror happens it still has impact because it's not happening constantly."

I mean, I guess. But like. I never got desensitized to the body horror in Worm. It hit pretty consistently for me throughout. As opposed to MHA, where it was usually walked back by the end of every arc. I never felt much tension or suspense because it felt as if there weren't actual consequences. In Worm, when Brian was strung up on his nerves, it felt disgusting because I was fully aware Worm would explore the ripple effects of this. It felt entirely possible he would die there, or never recover, because Worm didn't pull its punches. MHA did. This is a matter of opinion. We'll just have to agree to disagree about it.

"But most importantly - you root for the heroes because the world actually seems like it's worth saving."

that's just, um. sorry. I'm really trying here. That's just. Uh. Dumb. Do you root for Batman cause Gotham is a nice city? Everything's worth saving, that's, like, at its most basic what the concept of a superhero is about.

"Not only that but MHA simply does villain protagonists objectively better than Worm."

um. No? There straight up aren't villain protagonists in MHA. The villains are the POV characters for, like, one arc? You know what, here's a good spot for it. It's stated throughout the story that Shigaraki and the League of Villains have a goal, beyond just death and destruction. They're here to stop the corrupt society of heroes (that MHA hints at the existence of before backpedaling away from), and bring about a fairer society. But then, and this part pissed me off, one of the characters, I think Bakugo, says: "you're just using that as cover! you just want to kill people, you have no noble goal!" and shigaraki's like "dang you caught me." and then it happens again with Deku! Because My Hero Academia is allergic to saying something. Nope! They're villains! No moral depth here! They're Villains, We're Heroes, Go Put Them In Jail.

This is opposed to Worm, where- "The characters of the villains and their origins are used to highlight the flaws in the Superhuman society"

"Most of the villains are only villains because society failed them in some way, and the specific ways in which that happened become big plot points that then play into the future arc of our heroic characters."

I had to walk away from my computer for this one. It's hard to be civil. It's really hard. Polite and reasonable.

So Worm is about this. To even say this without a shred of irony makes me thing you've never once read a single word of Worm and are doing this purely as bait. Or you've read all of Worm and are doing this purely as bait.

"They're actually extremely complex in a way that ends up being fundamentally important to the overall story - where in Worm the villains are either based heroes fighting a corrupt system or they're histories [sic] greatest monsters... until they're presented as heroes again."

I think I get it now. I really think I do. You're not supposed to agree with all the characters. Like. Worm is inconsistent, in that it follows the perspectives of inconsistent people. Of course Triumph and Armsmaster don't agree on what is right! They're different people, they have different perspectives!

"See. Worm fans keep saying "This is Bait." It's not Bait, you all are simply ridiculous and obsessed with this series to such a degree that you feel compelled to say "This is Bait" instead of just... ignoring it, because you have no actual counterargument."

Perhaps worm fans are inclined to believe you posted rage bait because you brazenly walked into another fandom's post and wholeheartedly proclaimed that the thing they liked was Stupid Idiot Bullshit For Fucking Morons, and refused to elaborate until prompted, at which point you said several things that are demonstrably false about Worm.

"Your only response to anything I've said is pedantry, bigotry, and deflection. If it was obviously just bait why are you engaging?"

Well, I'm engaging because I've been in a foul mood since I woke up this morning. Also because you, again, said some very rude and patently false statements about a story that I really enjoy and find narratively rich, even in its faults.

"MHA's characters do fall into archetypal shounen character roles - but they are all given a solid amount of focus explaining why they are like that and developing them into something bigger."

Again, as I said, it's a genuinely impressive feat to have an ensemble cast like what My Hero Academia has, and give so many of the characters a degree of depth, with such little manga to work with. I think worm does it better, but worm doesn't have to be economical about it. MHA does. The problem I have with this statement is that it becomes a question of scale. How much bigger? They're no longer defined by their tropes, instead defined by their opposition to their tropes. It's still a one-note character, you've merely changed the note from C to C sharp.

"so almost every member of the cast has an arc that either develops them past the person they initially seemed to be or explains why they're like that."

This is probably my favorite part about MHA. They do have arcs! I love ensemble casts! it does a much better job in this than all of its contemporaries, even One Piece. However, they are comparatively simplistic arcs that all follow a similar formula.

"I've heard people say MHA is neocon or pro-establishment but the story literally concludes by showing that society HAS TO FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE or the same problems that created the villains in the first place will keep happening. The entire time skip specifically focuses on the fact that for eight years the main characters have been forcing change in the world and addressing the issues the villains brought up."

Now, I'm going to be clear. I stopped reading My Hero Academia around chapter 275. I don't know the exact number, but it was the latest chapter in ~mid 2020. I would occasionally attempt to reread, in an attempt to catch up, but give up around chapter 200 out of boredom. I don't know exactly how the story ends, but I have read ~2/3rds of the story. I feel this gives me a pretty good understanding of the general tone of the story, unless it wildly changes tone at the 3/4ths mark, which you have explicitly said it does not, as it is extremely coherent and consistent. Therefore, I believe I can state with some degree of confidence that MHA does not do that.

I would certainly believe that it tries (and fails) to SFP it, but SFP does not promote a fundamental societal change. That's the problem. Strong Female Protagonist was willing to come up and say that Alison lived in a fundamentally unjust world, even if it was never willing or able to offer real change. And hey. You do what you can. I sincerely doubt My Hero Academia is even willing to call its world fundamentally unjust, from the 200+ chapters that I did read.

"In the case of the actual main characters, they have extremely comprehensive character arcs."

Adding this behind the last point just so that I don't have to reiterate I haven't finished the book. I am, however, very much not inclined to believe the actual main characters had extremely comprehensive character arcs.

Which plays back into the initial theory that ANYONE CAN BE A HERO.

man, spider-man did that better (not a real argument, but like, spider-man totally did that better). Not least because midoriya specifically could not become a hero were it not for all might giving him a power.

No, the Villains don't get happy endings,

Why not? Why do they go to jail, even the ones who changed and wanted to redeem themselves? Endeavor never goes to jail. He did some horrible stuff. He's redeemed himself in the eyes of the story, right? Anyone can be a hero, right? So why not them? Why haven't they redeemed themselves in the eyes of the story?

You may wish to turn this back on me and ask why doesn't Armsmaster go to prison? Because he's similar in some respects. But worm never calls prison justice. (for some reason, even though wildbow totally loves prison). Prison is punitive, a tool for those in charge to control those it manages to capture. Maybe some deserve life in the birdcage. Many don't. It doesn't matter. Because the birdcage isn't a tool of justice. It's not meant to be. it's a box to put the uncontrollable capes in, until they can be used as meat shields. So Armsmaster doesn't go to prison because the story says explicitly there is no point to it. But MHA? MHA says there is a point to it. Endeavor needs to go to prison if he wants to atone. He's escaping justice every second he's outside.

I have actually read Worm, and for the first half to two thirds I loved it.

Weird. That's exactly how long I really enjoyed MHA. Not, like relevant, to anything. Just odd. I mean, I don't actually dislike MHA. I think it's fine, actually. It feels like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade to me. Funny (when Mineta isn't around), bombastic, and a good time, even if I don't think it's super thematically rich.

I'm not coming at this from the perspective of someone who has never seen any of the merits of Worm, I'm coming at it from the perspective of someone who really liked it, gave it a fair shot, and was eventually disappointed when it ended up not tying together right.

See, this makes me more inclined to think it's bait, actually. since you said "Oh yeah. MHA is published. MHA's been an ongoing publication with a large following for ten years, in a notoriously competitive industry. Now this might seem kind of unimpressive, it's a very low bar to clear I know. But it's one Worm hasn't, so. I dunno, I'd say that's fairly objective. Now you may think "Yeah, but Trash fiction gets published all the time." And that's true but again - Worm hasn't. The worst piece of fiction you can think of got published and Worm didn't. You wanna be an asshole about this? The thing you love is so mid that it was self published in 2013, couldn't get picked up for professional publishing until 2019 and as far as I can see has stayed in development hell since then." in your previous post. Sure, perhaps we can say you were pissed at the time, but "the thing you love is worse than trash fiction, an altogether nothing piece of literature that isn't even worth the paper it would hypothetically be printed on" does not strike me as the words of someone who "really liked it, gave it a fair shot, and was eventually disappointed when it ended up not tying together right." In fact, going back through your other statements on the story, you seem to have genuinely disliked it from the very beginning, on grounds of being too edgy (which I can fully understand the logic of): "IE: it thinks that all it has to do to be smart is be bleak and/or graphic," thematically incoherent: "It doesn't really try to say anything, in fact it contradicts itself throughout the book as I mentioned before, it just throws in extremely graphic scenes and content periodically to remind the audience how fucked everything is," and utterly devoid of purpose or meaning. "When it does introduce new lore that new lore is almost always overly convoluted and acts as a catalyst for things happening, but not really things happening that play into a wider theme or message. It's just "Oh and here's this team of god-level serial killers who are gonna string a dude up by his nervous system." Like yeah, cool visual, but what is any of this actually saying?" This does not sound like a ringing endorsement of the first half of Worm to me. In fact, this sounds like you hated every second of it.

"And frankly given the number of comments that are just people saying "Bait" - I don't think any of y'all have engaged with this in a fair or honest way"

I'm going to reiterate on my previous statement. I like my hero academia. Capeshit is my favorite genre, it probably always will be. They're my favorite genre of story. While I find the themes—or lack thereof—extremely frustrating, I still think of it as fun. I gave it a fair shake. I would probably really enjoy the ending if I didn't have a reading list that was 300 books long.

[nikethestatue]

One of the most common questions that we--Elriels--ask for the past going on 4 years, is HOW. How can (you) not see Elriel? How can (you) not see the buildup throughout the books? How do (you) not see the development of their relationship? HOW? Because, in the words of the author, it's pretty obvious.

We've heard things like 'SJM changed her mind!' 'SJM is a fated mates author!' (we'll come back to that later) 'SJM set up a new ship in the bonus chapter!' "Gwyn and Azriel are so similar and have the same powers! They are equals!' "Gwyn and Azriel have banter!!!' 'It's only lust between Azriel and Elain!'

And that brings me to Nesta and Cassian.

Nesta and Cassian had a whole VERY long book. We've all read it. It's a book of lust and love between the two of them. Of LOTS of banter. Of sex. Of becoming 'equals' and Nesta taking on military-style training, becoming an Oristian to Cassian's Carynthian. We find out that Nesta's been madly in love with Cassian since the moment she saw him. We get 'golden threads' binding them on Solstice and them being revealed as fated mates.

You might say--yes, we know all this! why are you wasting our time with the synopsis?

I'll explain.

Lately, especially post HOFAS, I've been seeing more and more 'theories' about how Nessian is a 'fake bond' and that Nesta and Cassian aren't actually mates. No. Apparently, the Cauldron, enraged at Nesta stealing some of its power, threw out a fake mate bond at her and Cassian as a curse and in retaliation. She's been shackled to Cassain. Whereas her one true love is Eris. Her real mate. And in the next Nesta book, Cassian is going to get killed and Nesta will move on to Eris and live happily ever after.

Which brings me to another couple--Bryce and Hunt. Who are chosen mates and who've gone through unimaginable trials and hardships, only for people to ship Bryce with Azriel (unironically). In this case, we had the same story--the Quinlar bond was fake. Hunt was going to die. Bryce would find happiness with Azriel.

The same people who foam at the mouth with 'ELUCIEN are fated mates and SJM is a fated mates author' are writing metas about how Nessian have a fake bond. The same people who scream about Gwynriel's 'BANTER!' and how they are equals, now say that the Nesta and Cassian have nothing in common, and apparently, she has more in common with...Eris?

And my point is simple--no matter what SJM says or writes, there will always be absolutely deranged detractors of everything that is canon, of everything that she had said, of everything that's been published.

So, it's not us. It's actually them. We are not the crazy ones who happen to read the text and come up with logical conclusions. We are not the ones who don't have 'reading comprehension'. We are not the ones 'who've never read a romance'. We are not the ones who 'never had a relationship'. No. We simply read what SJM put down on paper and we have a rational approach to canon.

But it also means that even if she made an announcement TODAY, saying out loud, online, in writing--the next book will be Elain's and she will be paired with Azriel--there will still be thousands of people out there denying it. They will be coming up with scenarios of how that will absolutely, definitively, 100% never happen.

In this fandom, fanon rules. Not the author's own words. Not the books. Not any logical conclusion. Not anything rational.

The more I see of this nonsense, the more I understand why SJM pulled away and why no matter what she says, she will be disregarded and people will flock to BookTok and listen to insane 'theories', disseminate them and then argue until someone gets a heart attack about how the theory is 'correct'.

Basically, cheer up Elriels. You ain't crazy. Don't let anyone gaslight you into believing that you are wrong. You are every, very right.

[foreverautumn89]

Every clue that Lonnie was abusive Pt 2

This is gonna be a long one:

It's not just that Hopper won't let it go, but that Joyce is constantly telling him to let it go and he won't. He won't even listen to Joyce about it of all people. He didn't listen to Joyce about Lonnie having nothing to do with Will's disappearance because he knows that Joyce excuses Lonnie's behavior all the time.

His refusal to listen to her shows that he is used to her doing this which means shes excused behavior like this from Lonnie before-and think about what they're talking about here-so Hopper knows that Lonnie has done something really bad before that is the equivalent of kidnapping/torturing/killing a child. Like say for example, abusing children. Hopper knows what type of guy Lonnie is and that hes an abuser of children and thats why he so hellbent on looking into Lonnie even when Joyce says no.

-------------------------------------

Hoppers behavior towards Jonathan asking to go with him to Lonnie's place: Hopper is already broken from having to deal with this situation. Not only because Joyce is his friend and its hurts to see her hurt, but because hes re-living the same thing that happened when he lost his child. This shows in the flashbacks of Sarah he keeps having. He takes a pill to deal with the anxiety of that and we know this because Joyce just brought up Sarah when they were talking in her house.

So he takes this pill to deal with his anxiety depression ext Then when Jonathan tells Hopper let me go to Lonnies ext ext THIS SHOULD STAND OUT TO YOU LIKE A SORE THUMB: Hopper who just took something to deal with his anxiety ext, now has to pull out a cigarette too because the pill isn't going to be enough to cure his emotions and thoughts right now. He needs something extra to deal with this BECAUSE of what Jonathan was suggesting.-Why? Because of Jonathan wanting to go to Lonnie's/where his abuser is and Hopper is not ok with that.

Because Hopper knows that Jonathan and Will were being abused or suspects and he doesn't want Jonathan anywhere near that psycho ever again. So this is Hoppers way of saying HELL TO THE NO!!!

Not only is this cute because it shows how much Hopper is worried about Jonathan's safety, but its also a point proving that Lonnie was abusive. Hopper clearly doesn't want Jonathan around his OWN father. Why have that reaction otherwise to a kid going to see their dad? The idea alone is driving Hopper crazy and making him panic and freak out. Why would he react that way unless Jonathan and Will were being abused or at least he suspected it.

-----------------------------------------------

Jonathan says, 'If Wills there it means he ran away. And if he sees the cops he'll think hes in trouble. He'll hide. He's good at hiding. So many points to unpack here:

-Will is afraid of authority figures like the police. Why? It's not their mom they're afraid of so guess who. Why would a kid be afraid of a cop or any type of adult/authority figure like that when kids are taught those ppl are there to protect them.

-----------------------------------------------------

Jonathan also says 'Will ran away ext' knowing damn well that Will would never run away and especially not to Lonnie's house, his abuser. This is typical abuse victim stuff-they are taught to lie about their abuse and hide it/conceal it.

They can't tell the real reason why or else THEY will get in trouble and no one will believe them and help them. Making the situation worse. They are the ones who get in trouble for telling, so they hide it.

They are also untrusting of any type of parent or authority figure because they aren't to be trusted given what their own father did to them adults aren't on your side. They always think you're lying when you're a kid. Jonathan can't tell Hopper the real reason hes desperate to go is because he needs to save will from that monster.

This theory is proven by Jonathan charging into Lonnie's house. If Will ran away and Lonnie didn't do anything wrong, then why would Jonathan feel the need to charge into the house moving as quickly as he could to grab Will and go before the monster caught them? Also him checking the trunk to find Will. That shows us that Jonathan wasn't being truthful here in telling Hopper that Will ran away. Because if he really believed that, he could have just knocked on the front door and said is Will here and Lonnie would have said yeah he is come on in. But that isnt the way this story went is it?

[carlyraejepsans]

What's your interpretaion of Chara? I mean the one that we see at the end of the genocide run. Because I've seen some people now say that the one we see at the end of that route might be an entirely different species (as an actual demon) and I kind of want to hear your opinion on that

oh they're just human, but most importantly I'm of the very strong opinion that, fandom aside, you can't fully separate yourself from chara. they're the watsonian quantification of our role and influence within the game. undertale as a metanarrative lives in this precarious balance between worldbuilding that stands on its own, and its nature as a videogame, thus it being created to Be Played By Us. it makes some aspects of its world kinda wobbly. take the LOVE/EXP mechanic, for example. there's not really a reason why LV 20 should be the maximum LV you can reach, after all, there's still plenty more people we haven't killed. that is to say, no reason other than establishing when the genocide run is fully locked in. and the moment you try to apply that mechanic objectively to the rest of its world and its characters, it begins to flake apart. but i think chara is the most effective use of this kind of metanarrative in undertale.

there's this really weird moment at the end of the mother games where the game breaks the 4th wall and calls to the player directly. the games gather OUR name (and i mean our ours, the person playing the game at the moment) in... well, very silly ways. like a friend of one of the main characters calling for help on his school research about player names. it's not so much integrated into the plot, as a way to create a touching moment of connection directly between player and player characters (we pray for the safety of ness and his friends. lucas thanks us and says he's so happy to meet us in the endgame) that is not extended anywhere else in the game.

i didn't have the vocabulary for it before playing these games myself, but now i'm pretty much convinced that the fallen human/"chara" in UNDERTALE was a direct response to those moments in earthbound and mother 3. I don't need to recount those moments in the game where it becomes obvious that the intended way to name the fallen human is giving them your own name or nickname, but even if you don't do that, by the end of the game, you're meant to think of frisk as "chara" and "chara" as "your character". that's where the main plot twist of the story jumps off from.

and well... that IS what they are. "your character". the true character, in fact. so instead of the game breaking the 4th wall and calling to YOU, player, across the screen in a way that is alien and separate from the story, the game calls to YOU, THROUGH chara. through your character. remaining within the confines of its story and characters.

chara isn't us, WE are chara, and chara is the spirit of the first fallen human who died and was reawakened when frisk fell in the underground. when we play the game, we play AS "chara" controlling/guiding frisk through the underground (not gonna get into the chara/frisk dynamic here, that's a WHOLE 'nother can of worms).

however, there is an exception. because you see, although chara is meant to represent our actions ingame, we... aren't chara after all. we are real people playing a videogame. and because undertale is such a heavily meta game, it does, indeed, go there. acknowledging us as a separate entity, outside of this world, and more powerful than anything it has ever seen, and the way the game does that is through the genocide run.

it's not a coincidence that LOVEing up as a mechanic results in you "distancing yourself", as per sans' speech pre-judgement. if chara represents us in-game, then genocide is nothing but us pushing that link connecting us to its breaking point. because chara is who we are in the game, killing people is making THEM stronger (we can't get stronger ourselves, we're not fictional characters), but because EXP and LV make you distance from yourself, we are also making them independent. severing them from us and our will. it's kind of a negative parallel to our journey in pacifist, where chara is established as "not frisk" once and for all and THEY get to go on living their own life. hopefully. sorta.

so... yeah! chara is our true character in undertale and, aside from the genocide run, which tears the two of us apart, we have almost no reason to treat them as separate. and yes, that includes the violent acts. i am a narrachara/non-evil plotting mastermind chara believer through and true, but posing them as some hapless victim in our hands is... I'm sorry I can't take it seriously. it was a necessary overcorrection with the way they used to be treated by fanon back in the day, but it is an overcorrection nonetheless. YES, they might kill people. yes they might do that to their former family/friends, for very much the same reason asriel, as flowey, did. they were not the most adjusted person to begin with, but more importantly than that, the SOUL we see in undertale isn't theirs, it's FRISK'S. flowey says as much. when we defeat his omega form, the 6 SOULs disappear. when asriel died, the monsters started at 0 human SOULs, not 1 (ie: chara). chara is as soulless as asriel was when he was rein-cornaceaeted (lol) as flowey, with their ability to feel love and compassion stunted.

and with the added context of the SAVE powers removing consequences to their actions, and the repetitive nature of the game becoming tiring, well... we know what THAT did to flowey, right?

[theinstagrahame]

It's been like 2 weeks? But I think the hiccup we had with the local Post Office kind of benefitted my collection here. That and a sale at Exalted Funeral...

Here's what's arrived in the last little bit:

The Slow Knife: I like Mousehole Press in general, but the pitch for this one in particular sticks out to me. You're a cabal of evil people who have deeply wronged someone, and they're coming for revenge. One by one, they kill each of you until their wrath is sated. I'm honestly always a little iffy on playing "Evil" characters, but this seems like a really neat way to tackle it.

Koriko: Also from Mousehole, this is meant to be a solo game in the vein of Kiki's Delivery Service and other quiet coming-of-age kinds of stories. It's also an absolutely beautiful book (and it came with the most adorable fat wizard cat patch...)

Star Crossed & Love Letters: I've heard stories and APs of Star Crossed, but never played it. Then there was an expansion coming, and it seemed like the right time to get myself a copy. The box is huge, I assume so I can store a Falling Tower game inside? I also often think about the creator, Alex Roberts, saying that the awards for this game have been nice, but that a couple who broke a chair after playing it is the real reward...

I Have the High Ground: I initially got this game from its crowdfund run after listening to the Party of One episode, but I spaced when it shipped and had it sent to my old Boston apartment. I never went back for it, but it was offered as a bonus on the Star Crossed expansion, so I decided it was time. (Also, there's a great Party of One episode that's a Star Crossed X IHTHG crossover, which is extremely worth checking out)

The Wildsea & The Wildsea - Storm and Root: I'd missed the original game, but the expansion caught my eye. The art and the vibe are weird and fun, but it's loosely a FitD engine under there. I skimmed through the Quickstart, and it felt really gripping. Weird guys sailing weird boats on the trees of a weird Earth future. The forest as a sea metaphor? I'm intrigued.

Nest: Spencer Campbell makes bangers. This is a long-time opinion of this blog, so Nest was a quick pick-up. It's set in his Destiny-like (I think?) Nova-verse, but it follows the bad guys. It's got Heist-y vibes, and I really like the idea of fleshing out the "Evil" team. It's too easy to assume the bad guys aren't people, and humanizing them does a lot.

Dusk, Vol1: Spencer Campbell makes Bange--oh, right. Already established. But still! Also a Nova-verse book, and one that I sorta missed. If I've read the pitch, it's about community within the Nova universe, and I like that that's a focus. People coming together to build communities is a theme I really enjoy, and when the sun explodes (yeah, that's what the Nova in Nova-verse means), I think we'll need people more than ever.

Eco Mofos: I really loved the universe created in Lost Eons, and this promised to be a loose prequel. It's a "weird-hope" game, which is loosely a description of why I love post-apocalyptic fiction. The idea that even in the worst possible outcome for the world (y'know, it ending), people come together to protect and help each other. That's what makes apocalyptica appealing.

Monster of the Week - Codex of Worlds Apocrypha: MotW is a well-established and really nicely designed game. I think I've only ever played it, but I honestly feel comfortable running it, because I've listened to so many APs and read so many of the materials. Apocrypha was the stretch goal collection for the Codex of Worlds expansion, which itself put a little of the best bits from FitD into the PbtA classic.

FIST: I backed the Kickstarter edition, but this was in Exalted Funeral's damaged section (I think for a slight creas on the cover?), so I wanted to grab it and see what the hype was about. Paranormal Mercenary action, is the game. I've heard nothing but good things, so it was an easy investment for me.

Haunted Almanac: Nate Treme is a name I've heard around the scene for a while, but hadn't really checked out until recently. In part because of the RTFM podcast episode about Tunnel Goons, which is included in this book. I don't want to admit that I'll just get anything that Max and Aaron tell me to get, but like... this book is great.

The Last Caravan: Backed this at the height of my FitD interest, and I'm really curious to see what's inside. Survivors of an alien attack in the titular caravan, traveling to survive and maybe fight back a little? Yeah. That sounds dope.

All Growed Up: Another EF impulse purchase, but partly because Reilly Qyote is a designer I've had really lovely interactions with and respect a lot. I hacked their game Cast Away into a Subnautica-themed survival crafting RPG. Kids playing as grown-ups seemed cute, so I wanted to check it out.

Heroes of Cerulea: I stumbled on this by accident back when I had some extra cash to spend, and it was 100% up my alley. The original Legend of Zelda is such a formative game for me that the nostalgia alone made me pick it up. It uses D4 and the pixel art throughout is impeccable. It feels a lot like skimming the manual of the original NES and SNES titles.

Details of Our Escape: Possible Worlds Games is one of those design outfits that's gotten the benefit of the doubt from me, so I had to pick this one up. Weird, artistic, and a neat backstory: It started asart pieces swapped by the artists, and later attached to a game by Tyler Crumrine. I think it's got heist energy, but I'm not sure so I'm curious to find out!

GoGoGolf!: An impulse add-on for the Details of Our Escape campaign, which looks like it's got that weird energy of some recent multiplayer golf games. I'm sold, and I'm checking it out.

Secutors of the Soundstage Sphere (for Troika!): This was a freebie for the recent EF sale, so I grabbed it. It's not really in my usual interests, but Free.99 is a great price!

Two Summers & Other Summers: I like games about people growing up, I'm realizing about myself. On a personal level, the idea that people can become different people, but remain the same intrigues me. Two Summers is about that, and I think Other Summers makes it weirder. So, excited to dive in.

[thebunniesgrim]

I'm getting way too much enjoyment watching how some of Helluva Boss fandom is raving over the popular current theory that stolas is going to die in the series.  

Because of the Oops episode and how the skull and cross bones in the smoke clock landed on Stolas and other stuff  

I.e.  

Having imp assasins in LooLoo Land 

Stella  

Striker  

His lullaby saying that when he’s gone Octavia will be ok and that today could be his last (I could go on a whole tangent about that lullaby it's so good)  

Western Energy  (that's it)

I'm not saying I want stolas to die but am I also saying it would be funny to watch the fandom go up in flames about it?  

Well call me Phineas and Ferb because

Yes  

yes I am 

You can stop reading here if you want. Under the cut I'm just rambling justifying why I think what I think. there are some jokes and lighthearted critiques, but you know... you have the option to look and give your own opinions  :)

I mean I have my grievances with him like I've said in my other post (shameless plug Warning I'm very illiterate in case you haven't noticed) but like I don’t wish death upon him I still like Stolas believe it or not   

lol.

In fact I hope stolas doesn’t die and mostly I don’t think stolas is going to die at all frankly. I highly dout the writers/viv/whoever is going to actually kill off stolas mostly because like any time stolas is in danger its so underminded like- ok LooLoo land is mostly a joke (good joke too I like the end where Stolas turns the imp guy into stone good pay off), Stella played for laughs beacues shes making the hit right in front stolas and it doesn’t get paid off till the next season which is fine the seasons are short, Western Energy he was fine like an episode later.  

If home boy cant be hospitalized for more than one episode he isn't dying  

Granted I will allow some leeway as we don’t know how much time has passed since Western Energy to Oops but it- I don’t think stab wounds and broken arms heal that fast regardless of that :/ if I'm being honest especially if it was a holy weapon just saying.  

Even if he did die that brings up a lot of questions like what happens to demons when they die? Are all demons immortal and can only die due to physical damage? are Asmodeus and Beelzebub going to outlive Fizz and Vortex if imps and hellhounds/other demons aren't immortal. Were the 7 deathly sins ever babies like everyone else? If demons are immortal and can live forever and the Ars Goitias can only be killed by angelic weapons that are hard to get, I'm assuming, why do, they need to have children or heirs? Why even have children at all? If angelic weapons can kill demons do demonic weapons exist and can they kill angels or other holy beings?   

All this and more on You Can't Answer These Questions at 8 

Lol  

anyways

but in all seriousness 

Here’s the real question  

If they did actually kill Stolas, will they bring him back?  

Riddle me this batman  

there's a very the very real outcome of them bringing stolas back through some magical demonic bs anyway so like it really won't matter. They're not going to have Stolas bite the dust permanently and if they are... respect honestly (the balls frankly).  

People will cry, I'll laugh because I'm heartless, he’ll be like resurrected or something, and everyone will be happy or mad idk.    

Like it's one thing for Millie to get hurt in the other episodes because there wasn’t a major plot point you know? (and she’s not important) There was no lingering scene on it with sad music. In when stolas got hurt it was this big thing and for him to just be like fine an episode later is like what? How are you going to have this big emotional climax with no emotional orgasm (sorry) afterwards. And like no I'm not letting this go what the heck? You had the whole fandom screeching about Blizto going to sloth just to do nothing with it and put a twist about Barbie and then also have stolas be perfectly fine and dandy the next episode afterwards. Are there no stakes in this show? Like I get that Helluva Boss wasn’t planned in the beginning but like come on... When Viv approves of the episodes does she look back at the other episodes? Is she even there? Is she ok? Is she and everyone else seeing a bigger picture that I'm not? Has she sat down and watched Helluva Boss from the very beginning and watched them from episode one to now? I mean really not just a once over to send it off to youtube I mean really took a good and hard look at the episodes? The way they mix episodic, and story is really messing with me I'm going to go back and watch all the episodes from the beginning just to make sure it’s not me.

I like how I said in my tangent about Hell fire (shameless plug part 2) I said I liked the new episode over all give or take some extremally small nitpicks yet here I am complaining :) guess I'm a liar   

soo yeah, I really don’t think they're going kill off their golden child, their best boy, their little botanist boo, their dopamine deficient dandy, their booboo bear, their uwu baby boi, their uke wukey cinnamon roll, their twinky little baby owl, their Boo thang, their stary eyed savant, their sad beige gay, their smoopy woopy do, their snoogum-boogums, their skidamarink a dink a dink skidamarink a doo, their-  

ok 

I'm done  

I'm so sorry   

[smytherines]

Tumblr won't let me post this from my drafts, but @uhhhitsme this is me responding to what you wrote yesterday!

I think that's right though. This is a long distance relationship. They live an ocean apart, they only get to see each other when their countries deem it necessary to work together. They have to have their entire relationship in secret because it is illegal. And probably treason because they work for two different countries. It is super turbo illegal.

I mean, long distance couples who don't have all those additional issues, who can call or video chat or whatever every day if they choose to, who have support networks there for them to lean on, (who aren't gay spies in the 1950s), most of the time they still don't make it because the distance is just too much to overcome. But Curt and Owen made it work. Even if it was messy and they were both assholes and nothing about it was rational. They made it work.

We don't know how long Curt and Owen were together before the fall, but I'm guessing it was at least a couple of years? They work incredibly well together, they're bantering and giving these goofy lovesick grins to each other (they make me sick)

Even when they bicker it feels like an old married couple. And it has to be that way for the show to make sense. We get less than ten minutes to establish their relationship, and this little section of the show is what gives the staircase scene true dramatic weight. Because there is so much fucking chemistry in that first ten minutes, such a sense of intimacy between them, that when Curt says "the feelings we had" the audience is already there. We don't need to be convinced (especially queer viewers who clocked this shit right away) because yeah of course these two were together.

They were able to keep this thing going off of maybe a couple of days together every few months? Days where they were mostly risking their lives and killing people and getting shot/stabbed/tortured and then hooking up in a hotel room or safe house or whatever.

One thing I think about a lot is if they were able to be that close to each other, function that well together, be so fucking familiar and warm with each other with just those little scraps of time together, I can't even imagine what they'd be like if they actually had time to just be together. Time to learn to be in a relationship. There's a line from Black Box that goes like "a real relationship- the kind of thing with a permanent address," and that's what Curt and Owen never got to have, and its the kind of thing you have to learn, you have to practice.

That's tough though, because I also think Curt's inherent restlessness would make it very difficult for him to settle down into a comfortable quiet life away from everything. I think he's the kind of guy who theoretically wants the comfort and happiness of a happy little domestic situation, wants to be loved and wanted, but it would be torture for him to have to stay in the same place for very long. At least as a younger man. He wants the idea of it. He wants it emotionally, but couldn't handle it practically. What he truly wants is for he and Owen to eternally live out their glory days together as the world's greatest spies- constant adrenaline and pressure and excitement.

This is pure headcanon, but I picture Owen as the kind of guy who has never wanted any of that. Home is where he keeps his shit in between missions. He doesn't want a happy little domestic life, he wants to do the job he's good at until he dies. Until he meets Curt. Then he starts wanting all sorts of things he knows he can never have. He wants to keep Curt safe, wants to know that they'll be able to see each other whenever they want, they'd have control of their own lives instead of being controlled by their agencies. He wants to stop having to work so hard and think so much and constantly constantly plan for the worst.

So it's difficult to say, but in my heart I do think that if they had more time, both in the pre-fall relationship and, y'know, Curt not putting a bullet in Owen's head, I think they could have figured it out. I think if they were able to sustain the feelings they had for so long on so little actual contact, then it would be difficult and painful and even more messy than before, but eventually they could move on to something better.

I think they loved each other enough to try, but after everything they had each been through in their four years apart, after the ways they had hurt each other and broken each other's trust, they just... couldn't see that in the moment. Which is pretty tragic to me.

[clangenrising]

i think the hate comes from the fact she still does try to justify/excuse Razor, despite hearing from many cats how horrible he was to them. like we know he is an abuser and a rapist. she thinks it's bizarre/odd/whatever that his rape victim (Scorch) calls the idea of him being sweet and caring 'nightmarish'. brother or not, he is emotional, physical and sexual abuser, and she still seems to find it weird that cats dont… tolerate him in the slightest. that does rubs as rape/abuse apologism bc 'he was nice to ME and he is MY FAMILY, he would NEVER do something like that..' soo many irl families have sadly ('no way my son could had possibly violated someone. this bitch is clearly lying and trying to ruin our family' type of shit you know)

like yeah having to live for months with people (cats) who killed your family member celebrated it is harsh, i do give her that ofc. on top of her kitten crash and being more or less forced to tend them or else, and she is in no good shape to properly accept and internalize the Shadow Truth. but many people irl dealt with people like her, trying to bend over and backwards to justify their family members and friends, even after coming in contact with those who were deeply hurt by them.

That is a good point, I see where you're coming from. Clearly you've been very hurt by this kind of thing in the past and I hope nothing I've done made you feel more hurt.

I was just surprised because Mystique isn't like, for example, a parent who makes excuses for a son who has been accused of sexual assault and insists that he's totally innocent despite evidence to the contrary. She's a victim too, even if she was never physically or sexually assaulted by Razor. All of her denials aren't meant to hurt the victims or protect Razor, they're to protect herself from the terrifying reality of her situation. Does that make what she did right? No, and I don't think I've ever said that, but I do think it makes it less deplorable.

As well, its not like Scorch has told her "he assaulted me." Scorch is VERY private and so that stuff isn't public knowledge. I feel like there might be some projection on to her because of information the audience has that she doesn't. As far as killing Smokyrose, that was framed to the city cats as a casualty of war, not the murder of a peace negotiator, and to her is similar to if say, Razor were a cop who shot somebody. We obviously would find that terrible but from her conservative point of view that's just his job, to protect the city from dangerous cats with lethal force if necessary. When she got to the Clans that became more complicated for her and she's hasn't ever once claimed Razor was in the right to kill her.

What she did ask for was that the fight be solved peacefully. As far as she knows, the Clans are blowing Razor's actions out of proportion and jumping to killing him when there could have been a different solution. Like, imagine if you went to a village and everyone there was like "your brother is an evil murderer" and then failed to present you with any substantial evidence. Who would you want to believe, the strangers ready to kill him or your brother who has only ever been good to you and everyone you know (or at least, you've rationalized his behavior to believe that's the truth, lied to your self enough that you believe it)?

This isn't to trivialize what you went through or excuse real life cases of people who deny heinous acts. This is simply to say, I feel like anyone who hates Mystique isn't engaging with the entirety of the story I'm telling. I understand, though, that this could be because of a defensive reaction and I don't mean to put any blame on someone who might be feeling that way. This is a complicated topic and its possible for neither party to be the bad guy in this situation.

[roadkillremi]

SEQUEL to - Please, Don't kill me, Mr.Ghostface

Randy Meeks x Fem!Reader

Masterlist Part 2 on Masterlist

Warnings : mentions Sex, language, mentions dying, mentions Killing, Reader has hallucinations (If I miss anything let me know)

I do NOT support killing

Summary : After the 1996 Woods borrow murders, will you move on? Attending college with some old friends and making new ones. Your past stalking you at times making everything difficult.

"Can you tell me what you were thinking when he was going to kill your friends?"

The clocked ticked loudly on the wall, you fidgeted picking your nails.

"Disgusted, trapped, with myself to be exact. If I didn't say anything I'd get hurt. If I did if get hurt. There's nothing I could do about it."

She nodded scrabbling on the notebook paper.

"And it's said you stabbed Billy Loomis 17 times. Is that correct?"

"I didn't count. I just... Did it. It was either that or die."

"I know."

"I don't wanna talk about Billy." You looked out the window not being able to face her.

"Let's talk about your visions then.".

You nodded still looking out the window with a soft gaze.

"I got a call from your Aunt. She said according to the teacher you started yelling in class. Cause you saw... Them.".

You nodded, "Yes."

"They're dead they can't hurt you."

"I know. But nightmares can't die."

She sighed, "You're suffering from PTSD, it's not strange to suffer after a traumatic event. Sydney, Randy, and Gale are doing fine. Sydneys getting through it maybe you can talk to her-"

"Sydney's rich and popular. She has the ability... To be loved easily."

"You don't know Sydney's life-"

"But I know mine!" You turned to her.

"Tell me about school."

"People look at me like I'm a zombie or something. I mean since someone died the exams aren't a big deal... People think I'm a killer... Ever since Gale... Did a short read of her upcoming book..."

"Self defense is not murder."

"Yes, I know! Still hurts. The only reason I got into college is because of being a victim. I don't even know what to major in."

"Don't you like movies? Major in directing."

"that's Randy's thing. I love movies, but I don't wanna make them."

"just come up with a list and think it through. How's your sleeping been?"

You looked down at your lap, "It's hard to sleep. I have bad dreams and wake up.".

"have you tried a-"

"Routine. Yes. Sometimes Randy spends the night."

She raised her eyebrow, "Not like that!".

"Mhm." She wrote something down.

"Do you think im a killer?" You looked at her deeply. She looked up at you and didn't speak for a moment.

"I think you're an angry child with a rough past seeking the love you didn't have."

"That wasn't my question."

"No, you're not a killer."

"You hesitated."

"This isn't about me. Its about you."

Silence filled the room back up again.

"I'm scared I'll kill again."

You folded your graphic tees into a box. Music played in the background as you packed up. The last week you've been packing for college. Surprisingly Sydney asked to be roommates, you said yes.

Your room was almost empty now, you sat on your bed.

"Finally running away from here?"

Billy appeared next to you, he leaned down to see your face.

"You're not real."

"I'm real to you."

You didn't look towards him, you closed your eyes trying to focus on breathing.

"You can't shut me out!" He yelled.

"Go away, Billy!" You yelled back. Your Aunt rushed in at the sound of you yelling.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just a nightmare." You stood up.

"Okay. Well Randy called, he's on his way. So get ready to pack up his car." She gave a pathetic smile and walked away. You sighed putting shoes on before taking boxes near the front door. Randy pulled up walking in the house, ever since the killing he seemed to peak. He had more muscle and wore shirts that showed it, he even grew out a small beard. He wasn't the only thing that change in the summer though.

People around you took note about how you seemed more free than usual. You got to dress in clothes without Billy saying you looked whorish. Not only that but you randy had sex, a lot. In his car, in your room, even at his work. There was of course close calls but nothing to serious. He got better at sex the more you two did it. Sometimes it was passionate and loving, others were more rough and animalistic.

"God, I'm not gonna have room for all this!" Randy exclaimed mentioning the boxes. You rolled your eyes, "It's everything, clothes, bedding, school supplies, all of it.".

Randy grabbed a box letting out a small huff. You patted his back, "you got this.".

"You better help that boy!" Your Aunt yelled out.

"Yeah!" Randy mocked smiling. You grabbed a box following him to the car. The trunk had all of Randy's bags stuffed into there. He placed the boxes in the back seat. You huffed back and forth between the car and the house.

"That's all of them!" You yelled out to Randy. He slammed the car door shut, "Thank God!" He cried over dramatically.

Your Aunt hugged you tightly sniffling, "Call when you can. Stay safe.".

"I will, I love you." You hugged her back tightly.

Months later

You banged on Randy's door, "Randy Meeks! Get your ass up!". He got drunk with his roommate, Paul last night. He called you slurring his words telling you how much he loves you. He opened the door, "Sorry, I was getting dress!".

"You look like shit." You laughed. His hair a bit messy and bags under his eyes.

"You look amazing too, darling" he said in a British accent.

You walked to class with him holding his hand. Some girls snickered at you as you passed them. Randy glanced at them, "What's their problem?".

"Don't worry about it. You know how some women are, don't grow out of the popularity in high school." You sighed.

"Pfft, yeah tell me about it." He said leaning close to your ear. His hot breath tickling the side of your face.

A frisbee passed by in front of you two, "Couldn't have caught it?! Dick.." some guy said running after it.

"See?" Randy gestured. You rolled your eyes, "Come on Mr.Meeks we have a film class to get to!".

"You know how I get when you call me that." He joked. You jokingly gave him a look, "You'll just have to rub it out in the bathroom.". He smiled hugging you from behind picking you up a bit.

"Or I could fuck you when Paul's gone"

You laughed tapping his arm to let you go. "Poor Paul needs a break from us pounding like dogs in there." You said walking into the building. Randy caught up with you, "Well this dogs ready to pounce.". He sprayed mouth spray in his mouth winking at you.