#to which Sam said something to the effect of ‘that’s a funny way of asking if I can compare them to your throat’

[bottomvalerius]

Donna “Oh wow, your hands are so big, can I compare them to mine?” Ortega

[literaryavenger]

Meet The Guardians Of The Galaxy

Summary: The Avengers meet the Guardians of the Galaxy for the first time.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Language. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 1.4K

A/N: I'm not sure what this is, but I was just thinking how it might go if the Avengers met the Guardians of the Galaxy. It started with the reader cooing at Groot and Bucky being jealous and this is what came out, lol, hope you like it! Needless to say, this doesn't follow the MCU timeline, like basically all of my other stories. Don't ask me how Thor knows the Guardians, the bitch just do. I also just needed Bucky fluff, like always, and I'm really happy how it turned out! Like always I appreciate asks and messages and am always up for it if you have any ideas.

Masterlist

By this point you’re very aware that there’s life on other planets, that the universe is a place much bigger than you ever imagined. Working with the Avengers allows you to see so many things that you never thought could possibly even exist.

Super soldiers, superheroes, enhanced individuals, even Thor himself is a demi-god from literally a different planet.

This particular demi-god is the reason why today you and the rest of the team find yourselves in the common room of the Avengers Compound, a spaceship casually parked in your yard.

They call themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy: Peter Quill, Gamora, Rocket, Nebula, Drax and Mantis, literal aliens currently bickering amongst themselves because they came to earth to visit Thor the wrong day, resulting in Thor not being home for their arrival.

"Is that a plushie?" you ask, a little confused, pointing at a little teddy bear-like thing on Quill’s shoulder and effectively ending their search for who is at fault for their mistake.

He looks even more confused than you and asks "What the hell is a plushie? This is Groot, he’s a Flora Colossi."

You decide, for my own peace of mind, to ignore the latin and instead focus on the cute little thing on his shoulder who is now moving and looking at you weirdly.

"I am Groot." he says in the cutest voice ever.

"Oh my god, you're just adorable!" You say, reaching your finger out for him to hold, freaking out at his cuteness.

"I remember when you used to talk to me like that…" you hear Bucky mumble behind you, which makes you laugh and, with your attention still completely on Groot, you tell him "God, you really are a needy bitch, Barnes." at which everybody laughs.

"Yeah? And you’re just a bi-"

"Hey!" you basically yell, interrupting him and startling Groot.

"I’m kidding!" he quickly says, putting up his hands in defeat. With one last glare at Bucky, your attention turns back to Groot.

"I am Groot!" he says again.

"I know honey, you said that." you tell him.

"I am Groot." he says, yet again, at which Sam answers "Yeah, you’re Groot, got it."

Groot says "I am Groot." again and, before Sam can say something that you're sure is gonna be very rude, you turn to the Guardians and ask "Why does he keep saying that?"

Rocket is the one to answer "Well, he don't know talking good like me and you. So his vocabulistics is limited to I and am and Groot. Exclusively in that order."

His answer leaves you all a little dumbfounded but again, for your own sanity, you all seem to decide to let it go.

Instead Bruce asks "So how do you understand him?"

"We speak Groot." Nebula says like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"How can you speak ‘Groot’ if he says literally the same three words, in the exact same order, in the same way every time?" Tony asks, starting to get a little frustrated, probably because the genius can’t do something that seems to come really easy to a bunch of space idiots.

"We manage." Quill simply says.

At this point Groot reaches his little hands towards you, signaling that he wants to be picked up, so, before Tony can make any sarcastic comment, you look at Quill and ask, excitement clear on your face "Can I?" while pointing at an awaiting Groot.

"Sure." He says, and you very carefully pick him up and put him on your shoulder.

"Be careful not to move too fast, he’ll hold onto your hair for dear life." Gamora warns you.

"Noted." you say giggling a little when Groot sticks his tongue out to Gamora, then she does the same to him, making everyone else laugh too.

"Buck, look how cute he is." you coo at Groot who's playing with your finger.

"’s not that cute…" he says quietly but you hear him, and apparently so does Groot because he says "I am Groot." in a very annoyed tone that prompts a chorus of whoas and protests from the guardians.

"The acorns on you, kid!" Quill says, and everybody just knows he said some really bad words to Bucky.

"Who even taught you that word?!" Rocket sounds like an exasperated parent.

"I am Groot."

"What do you mean, Drax taught you?! WHY WOULD YOU TEACH HIM THAT?" 

"The small tree asked." Drax says unbothered.

"Just because he asks doesn't mean you have to teach him dirty words!"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"It's really common sense, Drax." Gamora interjects, calmer than Rocket.

"I am Groot."

"See, even Groot knows you don’t have common sense, Drax, that’s why he asked you." Quill says.

"I am Groot."

"I am not stupid, tree!" Drax glares at Groot.

"See, he’s not cute. He’s a disrespectful little shit!" Bucky says, also glaring at poor Groot.

"I am Groot." the guardians snicker, leaving the rest of you confused.

"What? What did he say?" you're too curious not to ask as Groot is now glaring back at Bucky.

"He said he doesn’t understand how a sweet person like you is with someone like him." Nebula translates, earning some gasps and snickers from everyone else too.

You look at Bucky trying hard not to laugh and he looks like he's about 5 seconds away from murdering Groot.

He takes a step towards you but Groot, still on your shoulder, makes the cutest little growl and starts flinging one of his arms around in Bucky’s direction, the other one holding to your hair so as to not fall.

"Oh, he’s ready to fight a bitch." you say unable to hold in your laughter any longer and the others follow you.

"What?" you turn around and Drax is giving you a confused look.

"What?" you say, calming down from your laughter.

"I do not understand. He does not resemble a female dog." he looks at Bucky and then back at you.

"He- I don- What?" you’re as confused as you’ve ever been, everybody else’s faces mirroring your own.

"His people are completely literal, he doesn’t understand metaphors." Rocket explains.

"Oh… fun." Tony says, still a little confused.

"Is it though?" you hear Gamora mumble, before Mantis starts giggling.

"It is!" she says with the joy of a kid on christmas morning.

"It’s really not." Nebula says casually, and from that the Guardians start bickering amongst each other.

You look at Groot who’s still on the warpath with Bucky and then at Rocket, the only one not saying anything.

He meets your eyes and simply says. "This is what I gotta live with."

"Oh, poor little racoon." you coo at him while laughing and that seems to stop the bickering.

"Hey, I am no racoon!" Rocket tells you defensively.

"I am Groot." Rocket groans and Quill snickers.

"Groot’s right, he’s a trash panda." he says knowing the people of earth will know why that’s funny.

Some of the Avengers laugh, but you gasp trying to hide your amusement for Rocket’s sake.

"You know, you might be right, Buck. He’s not that cute and innocent after all." you turn to your boyfriend, who gives you a slight pout.

"I’m cuter than him, right"- he asks you with those puppy eyes he knows make you melt.

"Aww, of course you are, baby." you give him a kiss on the cheek, almost forgetting about Groot on your shoulder until he talks again.

"I am Groot." the Guardians “aww” and coo at him but before you can ask, Mantis explains. "He says he understands now why you’re together."

"He says he can see how much you two love each other." Gamora finishes.

You smile at Groot and he smiles back before making the cutest yawn, looking at Bucky and doing grabby hands at him.

Bucky looks at you and you take his hand and guide it towards where Groot is, he’s uncertain but when Groot climbs on his hand Bucky looks almost like a little kid seeing a butterfly up close for the first time.

He brings Groot against his chest and the little tree gets comfortable and falls asleep almost immediately, while everyone else in the room coos at the two.

"This might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen." you whisper, not wanting to wake up Groot, and Bucky looks up at you and flashes a smile bright enough to light up the whole of New York.

"I guess he is kind of cute." he says looking back down at Groot’s sleeping form, leaving everyone else snickering as quietly as they can, while he imagines how it would be to be like this one day with a baby that’s his and yours, and you can’t help but think the same thing.

Part 2

[crystalfic]

Yesterday's Legacy, Chapter 1

You asked, I provide! The next part of We're Off to Punch the Wizard, otherwise known as Yesterday's Legacy.

AO3 link

Prologue is here

(I have endeavoured to be as accurate and respectful as possible to the Islamic faith, but if I've made any horrible errors, please let me know.)

Valla's hand slipped from Emma's grip as her feet hit the ground. Sunglasses. She should have brought sunglasses. It might be cloudy back home, but she had walked through a solid glass window and now it was bright and idyllic and beautiful and had she mentioned bright yet? Ow. Valla squinted in automatic protest against the sunlight assaulting her eyeballs.

Beside her, Emma had grabbed Andy's chin and was looking closely into his eyes. A moment later, Emma released her husband and stepped back with a sigh of relief. "All clear. No glow," she said, and both Andy and Mukhtar visibly relaxed.

"No glow?" Valla echoed.

Mukhtar glanced at Valla, his dark eyes softening. "No glow means that the side-effects of his use of magic have stopped. For now, at least."

"Magic. Okay. I'm in a world where magic works, how else would I have got here in the first place?" Valla wanted to pace, wanted to let her jitters out through her feet, but she held herself still.

"You are not mad," Mukhtar said firmly, understanding what she had not said. "Or drugged. Or dreaming. In this world, magic is real. I am not one of those who could ever use it, but these two can."

While Valla was processing this, Mukhtar stepped over to Emma and Andy to exchange a few murmured words. With little more than a few nods, the three of them separated – Mukhtar and Emma to the trees at the side of the clearing, Andy to sit on a convenient rock. Something small, something that glittered in the bright daylight, passed from Mukhtar to Emma, and she put it in her pocket without a word before they disappeared into the forest.

Had that tree politely lifted its branches out of Emma's way? No. No, it must have been the wind.

Lost, Valla seated herself on the suspiciously ergonomically-shaped rock next to Andy and drank in the landscape. Before them, a circle of stones on mostly-bare earth, and lush ground cover beyond that. Circling them, trees of more kinds than Valla could name pushed against each other in their competition for good soil and light and air. Above, a cloudless blue sky of a shade she'd rarely seen except at the height of summer.

"You okay?" Valla ventured.

"I will be," Andy said, leaning back on his hands as his eyes fixed on that astonishing sky. "It's been a few decades since I've used – well, any magic at all, to be honest. Took more out of me than I expected."

"The joys of closing in on your forties," Valla said dryly before changing the subject. "Um, Mukhtar said that you and Emma had magic?"

"We do, but it only works here. I'm a sorcerer, which means I channel magic directly through my body and invoke it by will. That kind of use has side effects, which is why Emma was worried about the glowing eyes. Emma, she's a plant-witch, although a better translation is probably plant-sibling. Plants speak to her, and they usually do what she wants them to. Except goatweed. Very stubborn stuff, goatweed."

"Should I have brought weedkiller?" Valla asked, biting her lip thoughtfully.

Andy half-twisted towards her and eyed the heavy-duty hiking backpack slung over her shoulders. "I think you're carrying enough already. Wait, is that a frying pan?"

"If it's good enough for Sam Gamgee, it's good enough for me," Valla said firmly, even as the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth ruined the attempt at seriousness. "Lord of the Rings is one of Jamie's favourite books."

"Hope you're not expecting second breakfast," Andy teased back.

Valla laughed, which released Andy's own snicker, and the two of them let their laughter fill the air for a moment. It wasn't that funny, but it was a release from tension that they both needed.

"I was born here," Andy said abruptly, cutting off Valla's lingering giggles. "By the time I opened the portal to Emma's world, I was eighteen, and the magic I used was destroying my body. I expected her and Mukhtar to go. I didn't expect them to refuse to leave me." There was an odd, wondering smile on his face. "They hauled me through anyway. It was stolen magic, magic that I barely knew how to use, and I messed up the temporal anchors. I set it to the world that they remembered, and forgot to account for their seven years here. I sent us back to nearly the moment they'd left. In payment, the magic took those seven years from us. I was eleven again. More or less healed, but I'm not sure that having to go through puberty again was worth it."

That. That was. Valla was aware her mouth was hanging open, and she snapped it shut as quickly as she could. "I need a few minutes to process that," she said faintly.

Andy nodded, and turned back to his contemplation of the sky.

"More or less healed?" Valla said after a while.

"Eh, I still had some of the scars I earned as a teenager. That said, it was easier growing up the second time around. Fewer people were trying to kill me. Much less stressful."

Valla shook her head and packed away that casual admission for later. "You said you were born here. Does – does this realm have a name?"

Andy shrugged. "Maybe? If it does, I never learned it. Emma calls it Deathworld."

The peaceful glade took on sinister overtones in Valla's mind. "So all this pretty is just the sweet topping over poison?"

"Mostly. This is a campsite, one that's been used recently by the look of the ashes, so it's reasonably safe. Otherwise? Yeah. It took a long time for us to figure that out as kids." His eyes closed, fingertips digging into the stone of his seat. "Too long."

Valla was certain of two things. One, that at least one of the kids that he'd been travelling with had died, and two, that she did not want to know about it. (They'd been children, he'd been eleven and Emma would have been even younger, good grief was this Wizard mad?)

The sound of good, solid, Earth-made hiking boots on packed earth interrupted them, and Valla turned gratefully to see Emma padding back out of the treeline.

"I've talked to Mukhtar," Emma said without preamble once she was close enough to speak normally. "He thinks we're somewhere in Galgarn's Forest. I agree; the plants say someone very large is wandering around here, and this place feels familiar." She spread her hands. "Wish I could remember it better, but we travelled through a lot of places back then."

"Is he still back there?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, he took a few minutes to pray. He brought his qiblah talisman, it lit up right on time."

At Valla's bewildered look, Emma pulled the shiny thing she'd seen earlier out of her pocket. It was shaped like a bookmark with a rounded point on one end, made of metal engraved with what looked to Valla's untrained eye like Arabic text.

"It's still functioning?" Andy asked in surprise. "I was worried it might have drained out while we were on Earth."

"You do good work, love," Emma said fondly. To Valla, she explained, "It glows and hums when it's time for his prayers – we didn't have watches, back then, and you can't always see the sun. It also points the way to Mecca for him. He's not sure if it counts as an amulet and he can't really ask an imam about it, so one of us hangs onto it for him."  

"And it is very useful," Mukhtar said from behind them. Valla squeaked, achieving a levitation of at least two inches without benefit of magic.

Andy snorted. "Still sneaking up on people?"

Mukhtar grinned unrepentantly. "You too could be quiet, if you practiced."

Emma rolled her eyes, also smiling. Valla might not be in on this particular in-joke, but she could tell it was there.

"Any sign of the children?" Andy asked, bringing them all back around to their first and most important task.

"None. However, I would have been surprised to find anything – we followed our children quickly, but there is no guarantee that the Portal dropped us in the same place as them."

"It's unlikely we were, Andy admitted. "It was taking everything I had just to hold it open. Trying to maintain the exact destination was a losing fight."

Mukhtar clapped a hand on Andy's shoulder. "I'm grateful that you did hold it open. We will find our children, Andy. I have faith that Allaah is with us."

"Good," Emma said, with a nod of thanks to Mukhtar. "So, if we're in Galgarn's Forest, let's go straight to the source."

"Talk to Galgarn?" Andy shivered. "Are you sure?" "We're not kids anymore," Emma said with a dangerous glint in her eyes. "I'd like to see him try that kind of intimidation now."

[tikus-library]

"The Look"

Avengers AU - Quick Fic

Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Reader

Posted: Jan 20th

WARNINGS: none, idiots being idiots

A/N: I was at the laundromat yesterday when I saw the gif and needed to write something- so gave this.

Like, Comments, & Reblogs are always appreciated and loved.

**Please Do Not Repost or 'Fix' My Work**

Leave kudos on Ao3

“Here comes Y/N! Do the thing- do the thing!” Sam elbowed him, shit eating grin in place.

Bucky sighed with his entire soul, “Sam, it doesn't do anything, it's just a look, that's all, it doesn't matter”

“If it doesn't matter then do it.”

“Why would I?” He shot back as Sam stopped, shifted his hip out and crossed his arms.

Sam rolled his eyes to Steve, “he won't do the thing!”

“Steve get your friend”

“He's more your friend than mine these days pal,” Steve chuckled.

“Here she comes… you should see how she reacts to it, you'd understand me Steve, this one here is just an idiot.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes as Steve shrugged, shook his head and raised his hands in classic ‘I don't know’ fashion. “fine-” he bit out, stepping out between them and tipping his head down and looking up at you.

Today couldn't get worse. Today everything was wrong. Today every file that was sent to you was backwards or upside down, some were even corrupted and Tony thought it was the funniest shit, as if you could be any later now you had to do a quick debriefing of the three stooges that were currently coming back in from a mission and really as if you didn't get enough shoved on your plate– wonderful, you perked up realizing the three were right there, together, you could get it done in five minutes as long as you heckled them.

You could just stare at Steve or Sam. They were good, wholesome, wonderful guys that were not the sergeant. Not that Bucky wasn't wholesome or handsome– actually he was very handsome, distractingly so, especially when he smiled, or put his hand through his hair, or just breathed in your general vicinity.

Speaking of the Sergeant you saw him step forwards and meet your gaze, head dropping, hair shifting forwards to frame his face, lips pressed down and bright blue eyes focused on you.

Your brain flat lined.

Y/N stopped in her tracks, her determined steps halting, Bucky cocked his head to the side and was surprised when she did an abrupt about face and practically RAN back in the direction she had come from. He shoved a hand into his face.

Great, now you were scared of him, as if he didn't have enough trouble figuring out what to say to you. Now you wouldn't show your face around him.

Steve guffawed, bringing Bucky back out of his depressed thoughts. “Good gawd Buck, I forgot the effect you had on a woman.”

“What?!” He demanded, “she ran out of here in fear for her life!” Sam cracked, a howl of laughter spilling forth, Bucky clenched his fists, “you think that's funny?”

Sam clapped a hand on his shoulder, “that wasn't fear man! That girl wants you, she wants you real bad.”

Bucky jerked back, blinking hard. “No.”

Steve nodded as he looked over at him. “That wasn't fear pal, that was panic, I can tell you this much – Y/N is quiet because when she does speak she can't keep her mouth in check, which usually tends to land her in hot water.”

Bucky turned to Sam, who was wiping away a few tears, “she has literally called us both hot, but said there was no way she would date us.”

“But when I asked her for her opinion on you–” Steve laughed, but sobered and leveled a look at him, “buddy, ya need to talk to her.”

“It was pretty colorful,” Sam murmured

“What did she say?” Bucky asked.

Sam shook his head, looking over at Steve, “did you see the way she shivered at the look?”

Steve nodded laughing as he moved around Bucky, “makes you realize what she said had to be true.”

Sam gasped as the two continued to walk, “Y/N! She really is full of surprises! Scandalous!!!”

“WHAT DID SHE SAY?!” Bucky cried following the two.

[chrswlls]

Hi. It's me again. I hope my interest doesn't scare you off. Again asking for headcanons, but about specific characters. Alex and Jeremy, Boseman/Alex. (I'm thinking of writing something, but it's not going anywhere 👉👈).

What about Alex and Jeremy in a friendly way? Yes, I'm really waiting for a your post about them, but I want to share my headcanons. These two could become friends, where Jeremy might occasionally cross paths at a cafe (Alex will buy Jeremy a sandwich, heehee) with Alex and catch a slight "hitchhiker effect" where a stranger wants to talk about intimate things. Jeremy speaking. It's not a conversation about everyday life or family. It's personal, about what's going on in the country.

And Jeremy after every such meeting thinks why the hell he said so much, but at the same time he becomes calmer that at least someone knows and understands what he feels, without unnecessary words.

(You can't tell Jenny that, she'll either laugh or say, "Stop grumbling, just relax.")

Alex because of his job and natural observation (looking at other people's faces every day and they reactions) can give out in the spirit with a sneer "I see you every day, do you really think you can fool me? You can fool yourself, but not me." This is without aggression. It's my personal headcanon that Alex can be trusted like this way.

A quiet friend who is always out of the way but close at the same time. "Friends" where one knows everything and the other only knows at most his name and job. I think they are similar both in their "unsociability" and a kind of loneliness, their misunderstanding by others because of their peculiarities. My little silly headcanons, of course.

Thank you for your attention! Have a nice day

hai anon ^^ sorry this is severely late (and the other headcanons post may take a while) i jist had things happen this week

I have a lot to say about Alex and Jeremy so I'll talk aboout Alex/Boseman first. I could make multiple posts about them honestly it's a great pair next to Alex and Sam xd Honesty despite the work positions and power dynamic I like how they seem to become close by the finale. At least that's what Boseman may think. It's funny how it looks like Boseman is pining while Alex is oblivious lol but obviously they both can't act upon those thoughts in canon. Which is fine. At least it doesn't have to be THAT serious in fanon lol. My version of Alex reciprocates the wacky energy and makes a great dynamic with the boss and I say this as a harcore Alex/Sam fan xD (would be nice if we got a lighthearted fic between the two for once tho) (or any lighthearted fanfic about Alex in general they always suffer in fanfiction omg ^^"")

Anyways i think your take on Alex and Jeremy's potential friendship seems plausible actually :3 i can see them pass by each other and maybe talk about the actually interesting things in their lives. Jeremy would be surely interested as to how the Dave to Janitor pipeline went lol.

I think they could be close in a sense that they can keep each other's secrets and rely on the other as a last resort even though they don't interact much. It's especially funny because while Jeremy will only know to learn about small bits of Alex's life, Alex sees him everyday through the screens and takes in how he acts, whats been happening as if they were friends.

Im really interested about this part though: what if Alex was politically biased? I'm sure a neutral Alex would get along with Jeremy well. But a Pro-Advance Alex would definitely sour his view of them after a while, no? It makes my previous statement even more jarring for Jeremy. Alex surveills his moments and might potentially use the rushes against him. It's an interesting dynamic. The famous trusted news anchor is under the control of an unknown, quiet character. Even if it isn't friendship, it's still intetrsting.

My version of Alex doesn't speak unless spoken to but is the type of introvert to get really loud once you get to know them lol they're a menace and I see their dynamic with Jeremy as more fueled by gossip than anything personal. I read a fanfic once about how Jeremy thanks Alex for putting up with everything after the Finale and I think the dynamic fits any version of Alex kind of lol

Anyways thanks for the ask and the chance to share these thoughts tee hee ^^ and as for that post, I'll summarize it a little bit: I think Alex admires Jeremy and specifically the way he's so much more professional than the other repprters but still manages to keep his mischevious opinionated behavior xD and at the very least he's respectful with his co workers. while Patrick is the person Alex hates for potential jealousy reasons, I like to think Jeremy is the kind of person Alex looks up to and always aspired to be. Anyways loll thanks again ^-^

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Last week I wrote a post about the first episode of Taskmaster season 16. In it, I kept talking about something I’ve wondered for quite a while about Lucy Beaumont, which is how much of her schtick is a character. After posting that, I became a bit worried that might post might fall into a somewhat common, shitty trope where people are less likely to ascribe agency to a female comedian who seems strange than to a male one.

I first heard of this idea when I heard Rose Matafeo talk about it some time ago, because she has an emotional breakdown on stage at the end of her award-winning stand-up show Horndog, and she said that afterward, a lot of people asked if she was okay because they thought she had genuinely lost it, rather than written a show that ended with a breakdown. And not that that problem never happens to male comedians, but I think it happens less often, as people are more likely to trust that a male comedian is doing this on purpose, but might think a female comedian just doesn’t have control over her own act.

So I wondered, a bit, if I was falling into that by wondering whether or not Lucy Beaumont genuinely believes the ghost of a dog gets into bed with her at night and she doesn’t understand how road speed rules work differently from a television show. Especially because there is a male comedian making really daft comments for comedic effect right next to her, and I can use that as a contrast. When Sam Campbell tells a weird story about people who rescued divers, I know he’s aware that that’s a ludicrous idea to bring in, and is saying it because it’s funny. So why would I wonder whether Lucy Beaumont is saying her ridiculous things because “she’s just like that”.

To be clear, I don’t think she might be literally “just like that”. I mean, I know she knows she’s on TV and meant to be doing comedy. I know that when she says things, she says them because she thinks they’ll be funny. I guess my main question with her is whether we’re supposed to think she’s 100% in character, like the way someone like Nick Helm plays a character, or if she is just “playing herself” and “herself” happens to be someone who likes daft comedy. I think that’s what I was wondering. I know she has to be quite an intelligent person, because you can’t put a career together as successfully as Lucy Beaumont has if you’re not. You can’t be that funny if you don’t know what you’re doing. People being genuinely really daft is not as funny as smart people playing up daftness for comedy. I do know that.

And then I thought, maybe Sam Campbell isn’t the comparison I should be using. I have asked almost this exact same question before about Paul Chowdhry, and maybe that’s closer. I know that when Paul Chowdhry says something funny, he’s saying it because he’s aware that it will be funny. But also, it’s really hard for me to tell how much is a character and how much is him. I feel the same way about Lucy Beaumont, and I’m glad I’ve found an example of a male comedian I feel the same way about, suggesting that it’s not just something I ask about female comedians because I don’t want to give them credit for control over their own persona. I know she’s controlling it through intelligence and comedic skill. I just don’t know exactly how.

Last year, I listened to Paul Chowdhry’s episode of the Comedian’s Comedian podcast, in the hopes that it would answer some of those questions about him. I got very few answers, but it was a fascinating interview, and a bit amusing to hear Stuart Goldsmith so on the back foot, audibly very aware of the challenge in front of him, to try to get a sincere, out-of-character conversation out of the notoriously opaque Paul Chowdhry. Today, I listened to Lucy Beaumont’s (quite recent) episode of that podcast for the same reason, hoping for some insight into how her persona works.

I’ve just heard the following exchange, as they discuss how she writes her characters:

Lucy Beaumont: There’s no secret formula [for writing], it’s just really really hard, and you will get there. But with Paula [major character in Hullraisers, the TV sitcom that Lucy Beaumont’s written] – Paula definitely was a dead person coming through to me. I couldn’t shut her voice off, and her voice was so clear that it made me think it just was someone who was dead, and I was picking up on their energy. To Hull and Back [Lucy Beaumont’s Radio 4 sitcom] was written for me – a mother and a daughter came through, and I was keeping up with them. That was totally dead spirts who wrote that. If I’d have known their name I’d have credited them. Stuart Goldsmith: [laughs, sounding genuinely impressed with this figurative explanatory device] That’s incredible, that’s an incredible way of looking at it. To what extent are you using – just so I’m clear – to what extent are you using “dead people”, in inverted commas, as a metaphor for the creativity coming out of somewhere you don’t know where it’s from, and to what extent do you mean literally dead people? Lucy Beaumont: No, I literally, totally, one hundred percent believe that most writers, when you get characters that are fully formed – what they call “write themselves” – you have picked up on spirits. [pause that lasts half a second too long where despite the silence, you can hear him recalibrate his reaction to this now that he knows it’s meant literally] Stuart Goldsmith: That’s amazing, I’ve never heard anyone put it like that before. Lucy Beaumont: I’ve had a lot of conversations with a lot of writers and that, I’ve convinced them that that’s right.

The conversation goes on for a little while like this. To his credit, I think, Stuart Goldsmith strikes a good balance. He asks further questions to get her to expand on that point, and at some point, her insistence on how very literal she's being causes him to ask, "Lucy, are you pulling my leg?" To which the answer is no, and then you can hear him recalibrate again, giving up on his efforts to get her to see the potential in saying this is a good metaphorical device. To his credit I think he handles the ensuing conversation well - gently challenges the idea that writers can't just make shit up and it needs to come from spirits, but without being a dick about it and telling her that what she believes is wrong. And he does manage to dig into that far enough to find the scraps of her common ground with the people who, you know, don't believe in that shit, and pointing out the ways that her perspective could translate to really useful practical writing advice. He did pretty well, I thought.

But the point is that I no longer feel guilty for wondering whether Lucy Beaumont is entirely putting it on. I mean, she's putting some of it on, for comedic effect, intentionally intelligently as all comedians do. But also, when she says she believes a dog ghost climbs into bed with her at night, she's probably saying that not because she's in character, but because she believes a dog ghost climbs into bed with her at night.

[abarbaricyalp]

Written for the @sambuckylibrary TFATWS Anniversary Event

3.3k words // CW: sports injury and discussion of recovery // AO3

(i mean baby) Do You Know The Game

The energy of a hard fought win was still thrumming in Bucky's veins as he collapsed into the press junket chair. His whole body hurt and he was irritated that it was a close game in the first place. They hadn't started strong and had only barely managed to claw their way back with a solid closer and a lucky series of errors to load up the bases before Steve got up to bat in the ninth.

This was going to be one of those days that the PR team regretted putting him in front of cameras. It was always a toss-up. He was either the most charming player the press could talk to or a walking storm cloud, complete with hail, lightning, and thunder. He was feeling particularly thunderous today.

Luckily, there was Barton to run interference. He was the kind of player the press loved because he could talk stats and numbers all day long. He was funny and a better actor than Bucky and he'd take the win at face value. No moping about a poor early performance.

Bucky half listened to Barton rattle off where Wilson's ERA was going to land after this game and how Steve's RBI numbers meant more than his base running and what kind of trades Fury would be looking for in the postseason. Bucky mumbled answers back about refocusing after the sixth and the momentum of a good inning and all the bullshit the papers always wanted to hear. And then...

"Is the feud between you and Wilson resolved?" a reporter for a magazine that was more lifestyle than sports asked.

Bucky's eyes narrowed warily. The feud everyone was so obsessed with was about as real as the conviction behind his answers this afternoon. Sure, it had been real at one point.  All the gossip rags were right: Sam was the hot new upshot. He'd joined the team while Bucky was out on medical suspension with the TBI and shattered shoulder. Bucky didn't get to play his first two seasons, only saw him at practice and team events. Sam was everything Bucky had been–fun and smart and confident and good. God, he was a good player. Knew the game like his own face. And that was all exactly the kind of thing Bucky didn't want to see in his replacement.

He wasn't sure how it got out to the press that there was some friction. He tried not to talk about anyone else in interviews but surely he'd been asked one too many times about the new guy and snapped out a mean answer once or twice. To be fair, Sam gave as good as he got. There was one interview where he said something to the effect of 'I won't talk about an injured teammate negatively, but ask me again later and I'll tell you he's probably past his prime.'

Which, thinking back on it, that sentence was probably what led to the beginning of the end of the feud, since it directly led to a really fantastic champagne-drunken night in a fancy hotel after the team formal that year. 

And once their relationship was on steadier ground and Bucky was in a better place mentally and physically and Sam was settled in with the team and the spotlight, it was fun to play with the rumors when he had the energy. Neither he nor Sam wanted to make the relationship public and they knew there was no real heat behind the occasional gentle ribbing in an interview. But Bucky didn't have any energy to spare right then. "All the good games he's had haven't ended it before. Why should this game change anything?"

"I wasn't referring to the game," she pressed. "Though you did seem to have a warm reaction when he got you guys out of the sixth. I was referring to the fact that you arrived today in his practice jersey."

Bucky looked down at his game jersey, as if it was the one he'd worn in for warmups. "I think you're mistaken," he said, even though there was a creeping dread that he probably had grabbed the wrong one while Sam was shoving him out of the door that morning. Bucky had done his laundry at Sam's and the jerseys all looked the same when he was in a rush.

The reporter turned her tablet around to show a very clear image of Bucky walking into the facility, head turned over his shoulder to show off his profile, with Sam's last name sprawled across his back just below his jaw. It was actually kind of an endearing photo. He liked how Sam's name looked on him.

"I guess it got confused with the team laundry after practice Monday," he said with a shrug. He could feel a traitorous blush climbing up his chest and neck and cheeks, all the way to his hairline. "I just grabbed the one nearest my bag. Don't you have something more interesting to write about?"

But judging by the way half the room's eyes were now lit up, he was assuming this was the most interesting thing to happen to them since the last season-ending injury they had to cover. 

"Does that happen often? Getting jerseys mixed up like that?"

Bucky glowered and crossed his arms in a pouty, telling-on-himself kind of way. "I was tired on Monday."

"Which does happen," Barton cut in. "Frankly, I think it's a little disappointing that you're making a scandalous story out of a TBI survivor's brain fog."

Now Bucky turned to glare at his teammate. He did not have brain fog. Usually. Bucky wasn't sure if Barton had become privy to his and Sam's relationship. All three of them were individually close and Barton was probably the most perceptive person in the room at any given time, but Bucky had never told him in so many words. And Barton was always up for messing with reporters. It could go either way. 

The reporter held up her hands with a placating smile. "Hoofbeats and horses-not-zebras," she suggested. "I just thought I'd ask."

The room chattered for a few seconds before someone else got them back on track with a question about the upcoming series and whether they thought their league standing would improve before their bye-week.

By the time Bucky got out of the junket, he felt like he needed ten aspirin. Three for his shoulder and seven for his head. Barton parted from him at the locker room door with a pat on his good shoulder and well wishes for the night. They got almost a full week break until the series started up next Friday and they said they didn't want to see each other until then.

Bucky waited for the door to shut behind Barton before he let himself into the locker room. He detoured to his locker, pulling off his game jersey as he went. He tossed it into his locker and dug out the practice jersey from the pile of sweaty clothes heaped in the bottom of it. Indeed, Sam's name greeted him. He ran his fingers over the screen printed letters and then brought the jersey up to his face to breathe in the remnants of the smell of Sam's detergent and apartment.

When the real thing surrounded him, along with arms around his waist and a strong body against his back, Bucky let the jersey fall away. He put his hands over Sam's forearm and leaned back into him.

"You could've mentioned I took the wrong one," he said.

He felt Sam shrug. "Too late now."

"You saw the interview?" Bucky surmised. As Sam shifted from his back, Bucky dropped his forehead against the locker in front of him. Sam sat on the bench beside him, shoulder resting against Bucky's hip.

"Don't worry about it, man. Shit happens. No one's gonna think twice about it. And if they do, Clint set you up a pretty solid excuse."

"No one is going to buy that." Mostly because it wasn't true. "And I'm not going to start some beef because you made me late."

"Oh, I made you late?" Sam asked with a teasing lilt to his voice. He shifted over in front of Bucky and dragged his eyes slowly down his body until they were level with Bucky's navel. His hands came up to Bucky's hips, strong and sure, tugged him forward just a little. "I remember you dragging me back into bed like this."

His nose brushed along Bucky's stomach and Bucky let himself enjoy it for a few seconds before he hooked a knuckle under Sam's jaw and lifted his face. "You kept me in the shower," he pointed out.

"You wash your hair wrong," Sam offered back with zero belief in his words. He rested his chin on Bucky’s belly and looked up at him with dark, glinting eyes. “Come on, lay down and let me rub out your shoulder so you can stop being so grumpy.”

“You could definitely rub something out, but I wouldn’t have picked my shoulder.”

Sam grinned and kissed just above Bucky’s belly button. “I bet I could. But we agreed: not in the locker room.”

“I remember the showers getting carved back out of that agreement.”

Sam pushed Bucky back from the lockers to the narrow bench that separated the two rows. “Lay down,” he ordered. “And relax.”

Continue on AO3

[robotstrategy]

Recalled • Part 1 • 5 - Sam

Previous • Series Masterlist • Part 1 Masterlist • Next

Sam Zeus Ward, “The little version of that concept car made for babies” as Nero calls him. Sam loves his Rewind family, which for him really just consists of Nero as a big sister and Cam as a sort of mentor type.

But there’s one thing that makes him different from all his unit of ten, or even the state home in total. The gaping hole inside of him cannot be quenched. All the others fill that hole so easily, whether it’s Nero becoming a Military Beouf, Tonya wanting to become a teacher, or Ian being a great hockey player. 

Sam can’t fill that void, it keeps longing for more, always trying to grasp something new. 

“Is what we have not good enough for him? Honestly, he seems like a complete glutton to me. I don't know what Cam sees in him.” He had heard one of the Rewinds whisper when he and Nero were passing by.

“What I’m hearing is that he’s not interested in this stupid institution with this stupid boring plain stuff and I’m not interested in it either.” Nero had snapped back. Sam always thought back to what she had said, it seemed funny to him because Nero had become the most basic thing a ward kid could do, a Military Boeuf.

Sam spotted a lady out of the corner of his eye. He had seen her before, she always came along with Cam whenever he visited. Sam always left her alone, but he couldn’t not address her anymore, curiosity and the gaping hole inside of him couldn’t escape her anymore. 

“What are you doing?” Sam asks the woman, She turns around to reveal that she’s holding a camera.

“I am taking photos of all of you, I must show that you are triumphant and tragic. You must be seen as human, but humanity must know what a mistake it was to create you.” She tells him.

Sam now stares her straight in the eyes. “I think it’s great that you want to make us seem like humans, but why are we a mistake to you?”

“Your mere existence along with your brothers and sisters means that we have failed as a society and that all those parents have failed to let their children back into their lives.” She says.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “You know that some of their bodies were too far gone to even be built all back together, some of them were wards of the state, and some of them were unwanted.” He says, defending him and the Rewinds.

She gives him a look before saying “We aren’t going to get along are we?”

“I guess we won’t,” he says before turning away from her. He looks over to the other Rewinds avoiding meeting the woman's gaze again. 

One of the Rewinds joyfully runs up to the Woman, hopping around her trying to be within the view of the camera lens. 

“Record us, Una! Record us! We wanna show you something we did!” The girl exclaimed.

Una grimaced at her before pushing her away. “These photos are special, I cannot take videos of your stupid little things.”

After seeing the disappointed look on the girl’s face Sam is enraged and huffs his way over to Una. “Show me how to use one of those things.” He yells at her. 

“What?” Una says, spinning around to face him. 

“Show me how to use one of those things, I want to take videos of their stupid little things!” He yelled again.

“So, what is this?” Nero questions, putting her eyeball up to the barrel of the camera. 

“It’s a camera, I wanted to take videos of our friends since Una doesn't want to do that.” He tells her. 

“Oh cool! You know, you could do as the kids say, God, I sound old, vlog about your life and the other kids in the ward.” Nero suggests.

Sam runs up to Nero to give her a big hug “Thanks Nero that’s a great idea! I would probably have to get someone to edit them though, I don’t think they come out fresh off the tapes with all those horrendous sound effects.” He exclaims.

Nero lets out a good chuckle, “No problem, bud, no problem.”

[sastielsfandom]

Okay, well, my blog is getting depressing. So I wanna talk about fics!

Specifically some old fic ideas I've been working on with new inspirations:

Pity The Saved, Not The Damned, which has three chapters uploaded already. Sam is on a suicide mission to keep Lucifer locked in his mind and has turned to magic to do so. I'm using it as an excuse to write witch!Sam. I mashed a lot of ideas together for this. Like Sam trying to keep the devil at bay while he's stuck in his kind nearly all the time. Witch!Sam but in earlier seasons where not every witch he meets ends up dead. Which is funny considering how the fic starts, but hey, she's an outlier. Something that hasn't come up yet is despite not drinking any demon blood, Sam's powers are still there and emotions bring them out quite strongly. Oh, and Sam trying to keep an empty mind, clear of thoughts around Lucifer so he can't use them against him is a big one I've wanted to play around with and have. Lots of little ideas like that I've sort of taken and molded into one story and it's really satisfying to write. Although it is a darker fic than I typically write. If you read it, listen to the warnings please.

Don't have a name for it yet but a fic where Sam offers to marry Castiel who is about to be forced home if he doesn't because of a deal he made with his mother Naomi. Castiel said no at first because it's not something that'll go away, he can't marry and then divorce. The moment he's single again, Naomi's clause goes back into effect. So it's for life and that's not something Castiel can ask for from Sam. They talk it out and Castiel agrees as long as Sam promises if he finds someone he wants to be with, they call it off. He doesn't want to trap Sam in a loveless marriage the way all his siblings are. However, fun fact about Sam, he's aro but doesn't have the name for it. He just knows he's tired of trying to find romance and he'll do anything for Castiel. And perhaps Sam's not the only who may be aro, I mean there's a reason Castiel couldn't find anyone to marry, and it wasn't because he wasn't trying. This idea I've played around for awhile but there were certain things that didn't make sense. But as I'm going back with a different perspective on why Sam's so okay with this and why Castiel didn't argue for his own love, it makes more sense you know? They love and care about each other for sure, why else would they agree to such a commitment, but it's not the love everyone expects. They're still figuring it all out and they might not have the right words to describe it but it feels right. In their own way.

I started working on a fic where Sam's forced upon relapsing and Castiel can't watch Sam suffer and offers his own blood as a way to detox. Knowing Dean's way could and most likely would kill Sam. It takes a few sessions for Sam to detox. And even after that Castiel offers it to Sam when he notices Sam's trembles and when his thirst is about to interfere with hunting. Sometimes, they have sessions when it just seems like the right thing to do. With unexpected side effects of Sam being able to diminish angels grace and ultimately kill angels. And this is found out when Sam kills Lucifer in the cage. After not being able to take anymore of the torture and it's out desperation to get it to stop. Swan Song remains the same but when Castiel comes to try and pull Sam out of the cage at a later date, Sam refuses to leave and asks for Adam to go instead. Castiel finds a way to get all of them to go, Michael included, but Sam still refuses. Broken from the torture, what Lucifer did while his vessel was on Earth. There's simply too much blood on his hands. And while Michael and Castiel believe Sam diminished Lucifer's grace into nothing but Sam can feel it flowing through his veins. He had no control over where it went he was trying to get Lucifer to stop, he didn't want to consume it, he wanted it destroyed. Any trace of him should be gone. And yet, it resides in Sam with nowhere to go. Just like Sam. He has no place on Earth, no place in Hell that would fit better than the cage, and he certainly has no place in Heaven. So why would he leave when he has a spot carved out for him? So Castiel regretfully leaves but returns and tries to get Sam to come with him every time but Sam doesn't budge. (Recently posted dialogue of a fic and I want to incorporate it into this, where Sam basically sings and begs Castiel to kill him and Castiel continously refuses. That's essentially this portion.) Still working on the conclusion.

There's some more that I've worked on a little but want to write more of.

Dean and Cassie, how they met. Dean tried to impress her but failed miserably and she took pity on the guy. Dean didn't expect anything to come from it, but damn, he fell for her and he fell hard.

Another one for those two I'd like to do one where both of them are reminiscing at the same time despite being so far apart.

Also, one of their argument when Dean told her the truth. I can't find it at the moment but I'm pretty sure I wrote it so she gives him the benefit of the doubt or at least tries. Just never finished and now I can't find it.

A fun silly one is Jack Kline and Peter Parker meeting again and Peter introducing Jack to churros after a patrol because he was craving them. He was just going to leave the craving be but once he found out Jack didn't even know what they are he had to get one for him. It was his superhero duty to do so.

Oh, and the Lily Baker fic, I actually got further in that one. It's about her girlfriend and her where they play the game where you are saying the alphabet like A for apple, and b for banana, but it's the first thing that comes to mind for each letter. If that makes sense. Bad summary but it's just happy girlfriends that get a nice moment to themselves.

Speaking of girlfriends, there's an old fic idea where Meg doesn't die and her and Eileen cross paths when Eileen is being hunted by Hell hounds. Meg saves her out of curiosity of her situation. And to her surprise, they're looking for the same group of people. The Winchesters and Meg's Unicorn. Eileen for safety. And technically Meg wants the same thing but overall she misses Castiel. They join alliances out of necessity as Eileen saves Meg when she was on the fence of helping her further. And they need to move quickly because not only is Crowley questioning if she's truly dead, The Men of Letters are aware that their pets are dead and Eileen is still alive on the run. As they work together Meg regrets her decision knowing how fond she is of Eileen and Eileen keeps having to reminder herself she's a demon. Even after they manage to make it to the bunker, they're still thinking about each other... And keep "accidentally" running into each other. Megstiel and Saileen still happen but it expands it further.

Lots of ideas if you can't tell. There are still more I'm still figuring out lol. Hmm. I should become a writer or something. (I didn't even get into my ideas for OCs.)

[beeindaclouds]

Could I pls request mcyt x reader with needle phobia? Just loads of comfort when they have to go gey a vaccine bc panic attack ect and maybe more comfort afterwards bc next few days of side effects am I right..... I'd love it if u could do wilbur and karl as well as any others u want

Tysm

Hallo, thank you for requesting <3

Expect doing only Wilbur and Karl like you requested, I'll also add some of the dsmp members that don't have blurbs

Hope you enjoy <3

Some of the DSMP reacting to you being scared of needles

Includes: Georgenotfound, Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, Nihachu, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude, P!Slimecicle

Click here before requesting, please <3

❝ Georgenotfound ❞

At first he wouldn't understand the fear

"It's just a needle"

Not in a douchey way, more in a "I genuinely do not understand" way

But the second he sees you hyperventilating he starts to comfort you

He'll stay by your side as you're turn comes and let you hold his hands for support

Also apologizes later for not understanding it sooner

❝ Karl Jacobs ❞

Karl will first try to distract you, so you won't feel anxious the entire time you're waiting for your turn to come

But he notices the change in mood as soon as you're closer to the room where it will happen

Just the sight of the needles makes your knees weak

For some reason I think that he'll hold your face and start mumbling random stuff that said in that moment sound so weird and make you laugh

Which end up making you forget about the injection and you not feeling anything from it

❝ Wibur Soot ❞

You drag Wilbur with you cause he has that calm aura to himself that you thought could help

Which worked, but when you were 2 people away from your turn you started panicking

Wilbur held onto your hand and whispered to you that everything would be ok, that he's gonna be there and that he'll help you ignore the pain

Once you sat down for the injection, Wilbur told you to pay attention to him and only him

He brought your free hand to his lips, a chaste kiss left on your palm the second the doctor put the siringe near you

And even if you felt the pinch you felt...calm

❝ Nihachu ❞

You two were too busy talking the entire time you ere waiting

So you didn't feel the anxiousness creeping on you until you were a few steps from the displayed needles

Niki kept the conversation going, to try nd keep you calm for as long as she could

While getting injected, Niki hugged you into her arms as you hid your face into her neck

It was comforting enough to calm you down

❝ FoolishGamers ❞

He's a pretty entertaining guy so you bring him with you as a distraction

The entire time you were waiting you kept on fidgeting, but Foolish's small talk would distract you from the anxiety

He let you hold onto him when it was your turn and nuzzled his nose into yours as a good luck charm

The doctor and nurses there found the whole scene adorble and compliment you guys, which made you both blush

❝ Awesamdude ❞

Sam keeps you pretty calm throughout the entire process

He finds every way to distract you from what was about to happen

Like, you two were so deep in a conversation that you didn't even realize that you were done lol

From that day on you took Sam with you every time you had to do something that scared you lol

❝ Slimecicle ❞ [Platonic]

He's not good with comforting, especially during anxious moments

So he'll ramble away while trying to think of things to do to help you

He'll outright ask you what he can do

In the end he somehow manages to keep you calm while telling you a story about something funny that happened to him

You two go buy ice cream after as a reward for being brave u.u

[tinyyoungblood]

hi!! adore your work love. could you maybe do smth where stark!reader has to get her wisdom teeth out but HATES the dentist so she brings her boyf peter and her dad w her?? and then when they get home the avengers are all waiting with like comical amounts of flowers and stuffed animals and then reader says some funny shiii and thor thinks she’s like dying lol. idk if that made sense but i’m getting my wisdom teeth out soon and i’m scared😭 thank u so so much love u babe

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

a/n: tysm lovely :,) i rushed through this like my life depended on it, but i hope i’m not too late. either way, i hope you’re okay! it’s frightening but those bad boys gotta go because we don’t need that kind of energy in our lives. enjoy x

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

wisdom teeth? more like wisdoom

y/n has to get her wisdom teeth removed and it’s the singular most dreadful thing she’s ever had to do, which says a lot because her dad is tony richling stark

doing dreadful things she doesn’t want to do but still somehow end up doing just because she can is a personality trait at this point

no one really makes a big deal out of it since ~death~ is part of their job description, but y/n is terrified

and when a stark is terrified the only thing that will keep them one step from insanity is researching the hell out of it

that information will be info dumped into every conversation for the next few weeks leading up to the appointment

“y/n you need anything from the store?” "no thanks, did you know the side effects of getting your wisdom teeth out include ✨sudden death or blood clots✨ tho” “……..i have a coupon?”

the day of the appointment, peter comes along and literally doesn’t let go of y/n’s hand. he keeps touching her to let her know that he’s there and it’s so. adorable

he would rest his hand on her knee, gently stroke her back while holding her, or just play with her hair

happy drops them off and he’s too Cool™ for emotions but he knows y/n’s a wreck, so he just fist bumps her with a single nod and she almost breaks down bc it’s really affectionate

y/n is sitting in the dentist chair and genuinely nothing is happening yet, but she’s squeezing peter’s hand like it’s a sponge

peter might have a high pain tolerance but he’s in pain pain and he prays that his hand won’t just explode on him

the dentist notices how peter tries to keep it together and chuckles

“you okay there, son?” “yea it’s fine, had a better time when a building fell on me tho haha” “pardon?” “oh i mean i didn’t have a good time, i just had a better time”

because y/n is running Anxious Town™, the dentist gives her a sedative to help her relax 

plus, an injection of local anaesthetic to numb the tooth and surrounding area

she doesn’t feel anything and it’s GREAT

the procedure is quicker than expected and now the real fun begins

she tries to walk but she falls down so peter scoops her up bridal style and happy stays glued at her side

y/n doesn’t mind although she literally doesn’t recognise them and they’re practically strangers to her

but girly sees an opportunity and tries to flirt with peter bc why wouldn’t she

“you’re pretty” *blushes* “why thanks” “you should let your girlfriend know” “i should let her know i’m pretty?” “so you do have a gf? :(” “yea it’s you” “:)”

they stop for gas and peter goes in to get some water for y/n, and in her infinite wisdom, she decides it’s burger time

her mouth is completely numb and she’s practically leaving a trail of drool behind her, but she’d kill for a burger right now

so she wobbles around aimlessly for an hour on some random parking lot as if the ground might just magically open up like a rabbit hole and lead her to five guys

she’s going places. not back to the car. definitely not five guys. they’re closed. but places

peter finally finds her and he’s drenched from head to toe in sweat. he doEsn’T wAnt tO tALk abOut iT tho so she lets him take her to subway instead

normally, she would know that peter’s usual subway order is bread-lettuce-jalapeño

but in her drugged-up state, it had simply slipped her mind so now she’s staring at him like he’d just murdered someone right in front of her

“that- that’s your order?? no meat or anything just bread, lettuce, and a little spice?”

meanwhile at the compound, sam and steve are ordering everyone around bc they want to decorate this place before y/n gets home to surprise her

they take it very seriously too. they’ve watched like one HGTV show and said it’s our time

they finally get home and tony gives y/n a big hug, asking her what took so long

happy tells him that she was keen on getting burgers bc apparently someone has taught her that stressful times call for ~cheeseburgers~

he proceeds to look at tony with a pointed look

tony just shrugs and goes “she was a problem child. we don’t mention her dark past”

she’s swaying on the spot and keeps grinning like a fool and thor just stares at her weirdly before elbowing bruce and whispering loudly,

“what’s wrong with her? is she dying? should i start collecting leaves, i know this remedy—"

no one can tell if y/n is just happy to see the newly decorated home or if she’s just delighted to see everyone but then she goes around hugging the entire team

she doesn’t even acknowledge the sky-high pile of teddy bears and flowers everywhere bc she’s just squeezing everybody

y/n is so high, she just starts to spill all of her feelings about everyone and they’re already so overwhelmed by the hug chain they can’t take this too

“wanda i just want you to know that you’re like my big sister and you’re always taking care of me and i know you and vision are just going to make such good parents one day”

“bucky you absolute PRICK, you FIEND, you’re the best chess player ever and that’ll never change and i wouldn’t be good without you, i hate to say it but you deserve happiness even after you made me lose five times in a row yesterday”

“dad, you’re so strong and smart, even though we’re like never on the same page, you’re always along for the ride, i want to be like you when i grow up, i swear i’m gonna try to be as good to the avengers as you were to us” “aww- wait makes you think i'll be the first to die“

“nat you’re such a bitch about your protein shakes but you’re my best friend and i wouldn’t have it any other way, you can try out as many make up looks on me as you want”

“bruce, brucey, i would live with you in your lab for the rest of my days if i had to, whenever you ask me to hand you stuff i feel useful and important”

“laura’s way out of your league clint i have no idea how the fuck you got her but don’t lose her and i want to be your next child’s godmother”

“steve…we’re your family now. we’re always gonna be your family now. okay?”

“loki you’re not fooling anyone with your attitude, we all know you’re part of the family, you were just misunderstood and messed up bc of your dad–FUCK him by the way–but i realised everyone deserves as many chances as they need because of you”

“sam i would genuinely kill anyone who wronged you, even if they cut you in line at the grocery store, i would knife them no hesitation”

“thor, you poor golden retriever have been through so much, on my way here i made a wish on an eyelash for you bc you deserve better, your postcards always make my day, love you”

she mumbles something to peter that no one else can hear but he blushes and chokes back a sob

y/n orders hot soup and bucky brings it to her but before he even has time to react peter drops everything and ZOOMS across the room in .3 seconds

he barrels into bucky so hard they both go flying, but peter just smoothly rolls out of it and onto his feet like some kind of super ninja

“DUDE WHAT THE HELL” “😠 y/n is not supposed to drink hot liquids 😠”

all of this happens in mere seconds but sam has filmed it all and now slow mo clips go viral online of some mysterious kid knocking over the winter soldier

y/n’s a little in and out after that, but when she fully regains consciousness, she’s on a pile of blankets, surrounded by the team on the floor <3

* * *

let me know if this is actually comforting lmao stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

[shurisneakers]

harmless (vii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit

Word count: 3.4k

A/N: hey shoutout to @ugherik for suggesting a spin on the “A PLATYPUS!??!“ [perry puts his hat on] “PERRY THE PLATYPUS!???” thing. i used it in here, it’s a really small part and probably missable but i tried!! also i like the next chapter better than this one, i just wanted to put this here so it doesn’t seem abrupt <3333

here’s

my ko-fi

if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Bucky can’t stop staring at the mirror.

He wishes it was for narcissistic purposes. He had enough reason for it to be. His age may be a hundred but he had the youthful exuberance of a very drained sixty year old.

But no, it wasn’t because of the steel cut jawline or thousand gigawatt smile.

After last week’s mini-spiral, he does what almost half the videos on TikTok warn him not to do.  

He got a haircut.

Everyone’s reaction stopped him from following it up with an ear piercing, but he can’t confidently say he didn’t at least consider it once. Maybe a neck tattoo. 

He pulls at a lock of hair. It’s not even longer than his finger.

What did he do-

“It’s just a haircut, man,” he says to no one in particular, almost like he’s trying to reassure himself.

He runs his hands through his hair. It takes lesser time than he was used to.

Steve had told him he looked good. But then again, Steve wore a fugly costume 90% of the time, what did he know?

Clint acknowledged it and didn’t outright call him ugly, which he supposed was a compliment. Wanda simply smiled at him.

“FRIDAY?” he reaches out.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” comes the automated reply.

“How are you?” It took him some getting used to her, given that she was constantly listening to everything, and in general seemed to go against the universal idea of privacy. 

But his therapist told him he needed to form friendships. 

She didn’t mention it had to be human ones.

“As good as ever. Is there anything I can help you with?”

He wants to ask her what she thinks of his hair until he realises fashion advice from a faceless AI is a new low for him. Maybe ‘Do you think I should crawl into a pit and die?’ would be more appropriate. 

“Never mind,” he dismisses instead. “Any messages for today?”

“A reminder to buy a harder bed because you can’t keep sleeping on the floor.” Ah, that was on Sam’s recommendation three months ago, but he wasn’t going to stop any time soon. “And a text from a contact named Nuisance saying to meet them at the attached location in thirty minutes.”

“Where is the location?”

“The local sports centre.”

“Isn’t that closed today?” 

If he had to go out in public looking like this, maybe he could wear a cap and sunglasses and no one would recognise him. Unfortunately, as he was reminded several times before by anyone with an iota of common sense, it was a stupid disguise. 

Beanie it was, then. Bare minimum. 

“It is, yes.” Fewer citizens to worry about.

“Okay.” He hesitates in front of the mirror again, adjusting the hat on his head. “Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“You’re welcome, Sergeant.”

He stares at the little tuft of hair at the front that refused to stay down no matter how much he shoved it back.

“Come on, man,” he exhales in slight despair. “Whatever.”

____

The lock of the door leading to the pool is easy enough to pick. He can see how you got in without a hitch even though it was closed. 

The deck around the pool was absolutely drenched in water. No one was using it, there was no reason for water to splash out unless it was deliberately kept like this.

He catches sight of you easily, being that you’re the only two people there. You were standing at the end of the hall, head ducked as you scrolled through your phone.

The door closes behind him with a soft thud.

You don’t look up from your mobile when you start talking, “What do you think 6 year olds like?”

Because James Barnes, carbon dated to 1917 and therefore certified young person, would definitely know the answer to this question.

“I don’t know. Lego?”

“Just how much money do you think a teacher makes-”

You stopped mid-sentence, finally lifting your head to catch his eye. He stares back at you, steps faltering when you don’t move.

"Who are you?" you squinted.

What

"It's me," Bucky says, tugging off the dumb beanie and using it to gesture vaguely towards himself. Fuck, he shouldn’t have worn it, it was ridiculous anyway-

"You sound like him..." You narrow your eyes. “You don't look like him.”

Great

He rolls his eyes before putting on a mock scowl. Can't have Bucky Barnes without a sense of eternal disgruntlement.

"Oh hey, that is you." You grin. "You got a haircut."

“I did.” He suddenly feels the awkwardness increase. His fingers fidget with the beanie.

“Nice.” You nod in acknowledgement.

He wants to hit himself at the words that just spill out before he could think about it. “You hate it.”

“I never said that,” you snort. “And since when does my opinion matter?”

“It doesn’t.” But now he wants to know what you think since he didn’t trust anyone else to tell him honestly.

“Must cut down on time in the shower, huh?”

It did.

He shrugs. He shoves the beanie into his back pocket.

“Was it a crisis haircut?” How did you kno- “Are you going to get bangs next time?”

“Shut up,” he says lamely, a dull burn in his cheeks. 

“I know a place where you can get hair dye for cheap. Not technically FDA approved, but I think purple streaks are a good place to start-”

“What are we doing here?” he interrupts, sighing.

“Skinny dipping. Take off your shirt, Barnes.” 

“Funny,” he says dryly, eyeing your shoes when you straighten up.

Ice skates.

“Fine, pants then.” You don’t make any effort to move from your end so he does, walking closer to you. 

“What are those for?” He doesn’t hide the annoyance from his voice when he points at your feet.

“Oh, these?” You look down at them. “Yeah, I’m going to freeze the pool.”

That seems... mild compared to the shit show you wanted to do last time.

“For?” He halts where he is. 

“’M gonna take my friends ice skating.”

“Is that all?” He wants to make a comment about the fact that you have friends but bites it back.

“Today is just a trial run. Tomorrow I’m gonna go freeze the East River.” There it is.

“The East River is not your personal ice skating rink.”

“Not yet it isn’t.” You lift up a middle finger.

It was too early for you to flip him off, even by your standards.

He raises an eyebrow.

Your face scrunches in confusion. You follow his gaze to your finger. “Oh yeah, no, that’s a freeze ring.”

Only then he notices a ring around the finger. From where he was standing he could make out the blue stone that adorned it.

“Joy.” He rolls up the sleeves of his black bomber jacket. “Let’s get this done with, then.”

“No no, wait.” You hold up your hand and he complies, having nothing to lose anyway. You pull out your phone and press a few buttons before shoving it back into your bag and tossing it aside.

The soft sounds of a piano start playing from a boombox near the corner of the room. A child starts singing following a series of knocks.

His eyebrows furrow. “What the fuck is this?”

“The Frozen soundtrack.” You beam at him. “I thought it was fitting.”

He doesn’t know what that is and at this point, he’s too afraid to ask. He can vaguely make out the lyrics being about a snowman but he isn’t too concerned.

He takes one step forward. You immediately point your fist at the ground in front of him, forcing him to jump back when a blast hits right in front of his shoes. Suddenly he gets why the floor is covered in water.

It sounds like a series of cracks as the water starts freezing over, a layer of ice now separating him and you.  

"You ready?” The mischief was woven in your voice as the blasts continued throughout the deck, effectively turning the entire floor into ice.

Bucky takes a step tentatively forward. Not bad. He takes another. Okay.

The third one is when shit starts to hit the fan. His hands shoot out to hold onto his balance when his footing slips from beneath him.

His Nike sneakers aren’t used to snow. They’re used to well manicured lawns and pavement trips to Starbucks and marble floors of the compound. Not swimming pool decks covered in ice.

He can hear you singing in the distance and every time he looks up you’re a little further away, making sure every inch of space is frozen.

It takes him a while to get over the initial fear of breaking his skull and just move forward swiftly with short steps. A goddamn penguin is what he looked like.

“There you go, you’re getting it,” you chirp as you whiz past him. He reaches out to grab at you, only to miss by an inch. He staggers, arms flapping wildly to regain his stability.

He hears crackling beside him. He gets a second or two to watch ice crystals spread through the water before turning it completely solid. You step onto the now frozen pool, testing your weight with one leg before cautiously getting on.

A triumphant smile emerges on your face. “Awesome.”

He manages to press himself against the wall as a form of support. 

There is no point to this whole thing. He knows this. It’s been well over 6 weeks and there is genuinely no point to this.

He realises it again when he moves from side to side, body erupting into a waddle. 

Why is he doing this. He doesn’t get paid extra. He doesn’t get any kind of compensation. All he gets is more wisecracking geniuses, embarrassment and the mortifying ordeal of getting caught imitating a penguin.

The song changes to a woman singing about doing something for the first time, forcing him to pay attention to it. He hears something about ball room and balls and tunes right back out.

Bucky manages to find his way to the actual pool since that’s where you’re twirling around, opting to land on his mental arm in case things go wrong. He takes a sliding step forward, followed by another. Maybe he can do this. 

“If a 200 pound super soldier can stand on this, I suppose it’s strong enough,” you muse, watching him slip and slide as he tries to invent makeshift ice skating.

Unfortunately, his method doesn’t have any brakes, so while he’s too busy trying to move forward, there’s no way to actually stop. He finds this out very soon when he almost launches himself off the edge of the pool.

Something yanks him backwards and back onto the ice.  

“Honestly, this is utterly useless since you can’t really do anything but it’s the most fun I’ve had all week,” you admit when he goes sliding towards the middle, arms flailing.

“You had to pick fuckin’ ice of all things.” He thinks that maybe he’s getting a hang of this. He can definitely move faster than what he was doing like, 10 minutes ago. It’s not like you were going anywhere, anyway. 

“I like to keep things spicy.”

He stays where he is to glare at you. You mouth the words to the song, watching his every move whenever it interested you. 

Okay, change of plan; a temporary distraction till he figures out how to actually get the ring from you. He settles on skating towards the edge of the rink slowly, taking a step off, slipping almost immediately when his foot comes in contact with the deck. 

“Where are you going?” you yell over the music initially but immediately break into song when it ends in a crescendo.

He takes a knee, lifting his metal arm up before driving it into the ground. It shatters magnificently, leaving small shards of ice at his disposal. 

He picks up one of them, waiting for you to complete your dumb twirl. He takes aim, and-

“Ouch, what the fuck?” You stop your off key singing to rub your shoulder where the ice hit you.

He wordlessly picks up another piece to throw at you, hitting you squarely in the leg.

“Stop that!”

He may not be able to move as fast but he can definitely throw. 

“Give me the ring,” he commands, stretching his arm behind his back before releasing another piece to hit your forearm. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” There’s nowhere you can skate to avoid his stupidly good marksmanship. 

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” He shrugs, breaking another patch of ice to replenish his ammo. “Hand over the ring.”

“Over my dead body,” you shriek when a particularly big piece lands next to your feet. You knew he missed that shot on purpose.

“I feel like I’m finally acting my age,” he says casually, finding your darting about in order to avoid him more fun than he initially thought. “Can’t throw pebbles at meddling kids so this is the next best option. Thanks.” 

“If you acted your age you’d be in a casket, Barnes,” you hissed, finding that skating in zig zags helped your cause, but not by much. “I’d be- you bitch- I’d be more than happy to help you get there.”

You raise your arm, ready to send another blast to freeze the water that was starting to melt around him, hopefully, keep him where he was if it froze around him. 

He flinches. You notice immediately, hand dropping slightly when you realise what it looked like.

“I’m not gonna freeze you,” you say, softer than you intended. From what you knew, he had enough and more experience with that and you weren’t going to contribute to it. 

He swallows thickly, giving himself a little shake of his head as if to jolt him out of his train of thought. 

Another piece of ice hits you in the leg. You let out a string of curses at him.

“The more ice you make, the more I have to throw at you, Y/N.” He waits for you to regain your balance when you nearly take a stumble. 

“Shut up, you’re so immature.”

“Remind me whose plan this was again?” No point waiting for you to regain your balance when you fall over only a few seconds later. 

He gathers a few shards in his beanie, tucking it into his belt like a little makeshift rucksack just in case before venturing out on the main rink again. 

It’s more difficult for you to stand without railings to guide you, giving him enough and more time to make his way towards you, staggering and skidding. 

Both of you looked ridiculous. 

“Stay away, fiend.” 

“Ring first.” He holds his hand out in front of you. He even considered pulling you up if you just made things easier.

Next thing he knows he’s on his ass on the ice beside you. 

“I hate you,” he groans, watching as you inch away from him on your knees.

He doesn’t really have any other options so he shoves aside the humiliation and gets on his knees, using his arms to drag him along the ice.

“For the love of Christ, none of us are winning here. Just give me the ring.”

The bitch from the soundtrack sings about letting it go but he won’t. 

“Never,” you shout, sliding away from him as fast as possible. 

You make use of the fact that the top layer of ice is starting to melt, using the ring to freeze it again. His knees and fingers get stuck as the water freezes over but he has super strength. It barely takes him a second to free himself. 

“Great,” he huffs, just settling down on the ice, ignoring the sting of cold that was spreading through his limbs. Running after you wasn’t going to work; he needed a way to get the ring. 

“You won last time, I’m not letting you win again.”

“Are we seriously keeping score?” He watches as you scramble towards the edge.

“No one likes a loser, Bucky.” You use the pool stair railings to pull yourself up.

“Explain why you have friends then.” He can’t help himself this time. 

“Hardy har har.” You roll your eyes. 

He doesn’t make an effort to move. Instead, when you take a step back into the rink, he raises his arm and pummels it into the ice, just to annoy you. 

The ground damn near shakes, pushing you dangerously towards losing your balance again. 

“Are you crazy?” Your arm shoots out in front of you to keep you from falling headfirst. 

“No.” He does it again. This time there’s a crack in the ice. “I’m just very tired.”

“If the ice breaks we’re both gonna be underwater, you moron!”

“Fine by me.” He shrugs. “Freeze it again. I’ll just find different ways to ruin it for you.”

You glare at him. He raises his arm above his head again.

“Fine! Fine, stop.” You eye him as he lowers his arm. 

He reaches for his stash of ice pieces from earlier, throwing one at your shoulder again.

“Boy, I swear if you don’t stop doing that-” you duck when another one comes at you. You had no idea he could be this annoying. 

It suddenly hits him, like a lightbulb going off in his brain. He wipes his hands off on his jacket, getting on all fours before slowly managing to pick himself up again. 

He looks at you, tilting his head slightly like he was studying you.

“What?” you ask suspiciously, eyeing as he starts inching closer towards you. “What are you thinking?”

It’s like watching a newborn deer stumble its way through the world, albeit more gracefully, until he starts picking up speed. The motherfucker was going to mow you down.

The skates are useful but not so much when an extremely determined bumbling oaf is barrelling towards you, his speed beginning to match yours even without equipment. 

You don’t know why you’re running, you don’t know why he’s chasing after you but when you see the end of the pool you take a sharp left only to have him knock right into you, sending you both sprawling.

You land half on top of him, breaking your fall but it doesn’t stop the very loud groan that escapes your mouth. He’s already in the process of sitting up straight, giving you less time to analyse what just happened.

“What the fuck was that for?” you speak through gritted teeth. “Fuckin’ acting like the both of us have free healthcare.”

“You refused to give up.”

“So your plan was to tackle me like a quarterback?” You threw your hands up.  

“One part of it.” He drags himself to the edge, away from you. 

“There's more to your monkey brained plan?” He doesn’t look at you. The ice around the pool has more or less melted, letting him gain proper footing on the floor before he stands up. 

“Oh, yeah.” He turns to you. “The other’s a trick I stole from Stark.”

Bucky holds up the ring. Your jaw slightly drops, eyes searching your finger for the now missing piece of tech. 

“Suppose that’s two points for me?” 

You’re impressed. You also want to stab him. So you do the next best thing.

“When I imagined you holding a ring in front of me, the circumstances were very different,” you comment.

“Bye, Y/N.” He spins on his heel, not even giving you a second’s worth of reaction. You found it amusing.

He heads towards the door, clothes all wet. He empties out melted ice water from his beanie before stuffing it into his pocket. Just when he’s about to leave, you remember something. 

Do you mean it genuinely or just because it has an effect on him? 

“Just for the record, Barnes, about your hair-” you call out, earning his attention from over his shoulder. “I think you look really good either way.”

The world may never know. 

You swear you can see the corners of his lips quirk upwards before he turns around again. 

He slips on a block of ice, cursing and clenching on to the door to keep him upright, quickly yanking it open and leaving before he has a chance to embarrass himself further.

Smooth.

Next part

[buckybarnesdiaries]

white wolf: “the show must go on”

first part — second part

third part — fourth part (soon)

© gif credits to the author, i found it on google. if you're the author lemme know your @.

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Sam helps Bucky to ask you out for a date and it’s a disaster, but he gets it.

word count: 1'9k.

warnings/tags: none. bucky being so innocent gives me life. + he being so damn cute as always.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

“Have plans with your girl tonight?”

Bucky clicked his tongue, putting down the weight to the holder, not turning to Sam still doing squats and an awkward noise out of breath. His partner couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and giggle while shaking his head, fast enough to steal the soldier's clean towel before he reached it.

“She's not my girl”.

“Not yet, you mean, uh?” He joked then, using the clothing like a whip to hit the metal arm. “But, you have plans or not?”

“Yeah, we have plans”. Bucky admitted eventually, glancing at Sam also stealing his bottle of water. “She invited me to watch a movie”.

It was the innocent and unworried tone of voice from him that made Sam choke, cough, and laugh at once.

“What?”

“Oh, man… Can't believe you're sinful enough to do what we do but too innocent to not see what that means”.

“It means we're gonna watch a movie”.

Bucky was confused at the laughter, trying to understand what he was referring to as he rested his back against the wall and crossed both arms over his chest. Expecting anything else from his wise friend.

“This is the twenty-first century, you ancient. We don't watch movies”.

“What d— What do you mean? You have Netflix, HBO, Prime Video… What's the point?”

Sam was deadpanned, staring in silence at the soldier, not believing what his ears were hearing. “We, guys, don't watch movies with girls, even less when they are the ones inviting us”.

Bucky squinted at him, tilting his head like a lost poppy would do, not being able to read between lines. His partner gasped exasperated, running a hand up and down his face.

“You know, man? Sometimes I feel alone, not having anyone to laugh with about that forties' manners of yours. Should I call Sarah, maybe?”

“Cut the show”. He hissed standing up and passing him away.

“Oh, no, no, no… the show has just started, man, and I have my popcorn ready”.

Bucky had been beating around the bush the whole day, trying to let it out of his mind. Of course, it was something that would happen sooner or later, and —more than of course— he wanted it to happen. The mere fact of thinking about you and him, flesh against flesh, hearing you moaning his name and making you feel good caused him goosebumps and an awkward sensation beneath his black jeans. Suddenly, swallowing saliva turned impossible, biting his lower lip while ringing the intercom of your apartment. Your response didn't last more than a couple of seconds, opening the door downstairs and waiting for him at the entrance of your apartment.

The butterflies fluttered within your bellies when Bucky stepped out of the lift, showing you that charming smile that could make you kill anyone who dared to erase it from his face.

“Trying to get me drunk?” You joked as he raised the bottle of red wine in his left hand.

“Maybe?”

“Missed you today”. You whispered at the soft kiss on your lips and his arm getting wrapped around your lower waist.

“So did I”. He sighed, sounding a little tired, caressing your nose with his.

Yesterday he talked to you about a routine medical check-up the government used to do every six months until he earned his pardon. Four hours of intense exercise to make sure the supersoldier serum was still doing its effect, as he started to feel somewhat tired since he stayed in Wakanda. For Bucky, it was really easy to open up himself with you and talk about his past and some of the things he did. And he didn't complain when you helped him to take off his leather jacket, watching him rubbing his left shoulder.

“I, uh… also was this morning with Sam. Training”. He told you, following you to your kitchen to find a couple of glasses. Turning at him, you couldn't help but raise an incredulous eyebrow. “Don't look at me like that… I know to perfection what you're thinking”.

“You're a telepath now?”

“God, no. I have enough with the voices inside my head, to hear someone's else”. He chuckled resting against the fridge. “But you're very expressive and I was trained to read body language”.

“So, what am' thinking?” You asked driven by curiosity, entertained on opening the bottle of wine.

“Look at this guy… He looks hotter than a barbecue”.

You broke into a loud laugh, shaking your head as you grabbed the drink and the glasses. “Not even close, Sergeant”.

“Liar”. He blurted into your face, passing him away to the living room where the Thai takeaway was waiting for the two of you.

“I'm not lying! You're a lousy body reader”.

“So… you can do it better, uh?”

“Didn't say so, but… yeah”. You replied, placing the wine and the glasses on the coffee table next to the big green sofa.

“Okay, go ahead. What am 'thinking, genius?”

Standing in front of him, some inches away, you squinted at his eyes in advance of touring his posture from top to bottom with your orbs.

“Look at that girl… she's hotter than a volcano”.

“Not even closer, soldier”. Bucky repeated your words, kissing his teeth and causing you to laugh again.

“Liar”.

The night went on, enjoying your dinner and watching the first part of Scary Movie. Since Bucky told you that he loved the horror genre, you thought that it'd be a good start. As you finished the Thai dishes, you two cuddled on your sofa, and it felt nice to be embraced by his muscly arms and had your head rested on his shoulder. He had never been that happier before, imagining for a moment —staring at you by the corner of his eyes— that he wasn't a retired lethal assassin controlled by a bunch of psychos, just a guy watching a movie with his girl.

For some reason that increased his pulse, having to clear his throat as the thought dried it. You couldn't let it go, wrinkling your nose with curiosity, raising your face slightly at Bucky trying to focus on the movie, and pretending everything was going okay.

“What?” He murmured about to laugh nervously, putting his head back a couple of inches to look better at you.

“Seems like you're gonna have a heart attack, what's the matter?”

The soldier breathed heavily through his nostril, expelling all the air in a sight through his parted lips. A lower giggle escaped them as your eyes widened a little more interested in his response to your question.

“Sam… Sam said something this morning”.

There it was. Your grimace turned skeptical, sitting up to borrow the control remote and pause the movie. Turning to face him and placing an arm on the headrest, you puckered your lips in a funny gesture watching him click his tongue.

“Things are different nowadays and… y'know, we used to watch movies”.

“And that's what we're doing”.

“Yeah, but… it's like… now there are some kinds of non-speak social rules”.

You knew exactly what he was referring to and seeing him somewhat troubled and tense just made your heart melt. It wasn't that he was scared, but it almost felt like.

“Is it your first time since the forties?” You dared to ask, clearly with no intentions of making fun of him.

“I've never really… y'know, I was in my twenties when I left Brooklyn. I me— mean, 'm not stupid, okay? I've done things but not… sex like… to the whole point”. Bucky didn't have his eyes on you when he made that confession, rubbing the bridge of his nose by inertia as his nervousness increased. “And now everything… is pretty different”.

“It doesn't have to”. You just replied, stretching a hand to his right one to intertwine your fingers. “Listen, Buck… We don't have to, okay? We don't have to do anything if you're not ready. We can watch the movie and then… you can go, or you can stay to sleep with me”.

“I'd like that”.

“Leave?”

“Yeah, totally, if you excuse me, ma'am… I gotta leave” He clearly joked, about to stand up until you pushed him down to the sofa bursting in laughter. “Nah, I, uh… I mean, I'd like to sleep with you tonight”.

“I'd like too, and to wake up tomorrow morning with you”.

“Yeah, would be very awkward if you go to sleep with me and wake up with another guy in your bed”.

Bucky smirked at you, biting his upper lip before leaning to press both on yours. He couldn't believe you were being so comprehensive with him, not making any other uncomfortable questions, nor kicking his ass out of your house. At that moment, he realized he was madly in love with you, bringing you closer to himself so he could embrace you tenderly between his arms. And you let him, not wanting anything else than to be with him.

At the moment the movie finished, you both stretched your hands to the ceiling with a yawn opening your mouths. You palmed his thigh to beckoning at him, urging the soldier to follow you as you rubbed your eyes using your knuckles, a little sleepy. Turning off the lights on your way to your room, you changed your clothes for a baggy Iron Maiden's t-shirt, as he stripped himself leaving his clothes on the chair in front of your bed, only wearing a pair of black boxers at the end.

You were about to ask him which side he preferred when the words died on your tongue, glancing at him with his flesh hand over his dark grey shoulder. It was the first time you saw the vibranium arm in all its glory and Bucky gave you the impression of being embarrassed. He'd never stop surprising you with plenty of emotions for things that for you didn't have any importance actually —like the fact of not having two real arms.

“Come here”. You murmured, kneeling on the mattress and palming the other lateral, observing every one of his actions till lying next to him, in the middle of the gloom of your room.

Covering both of you with the sheets and turning on your sides to face each other, Bucky took the initiative of wrapping you close to his chest, as he placed his head on your pillow. He couldn't help but take a soft breath from your heavenly smell impregnated in, provoking a smile to grow on your lips. Surrounding his neck with your arms, you sunk your fingers in his short hair, gently caressing his scalp while you started to spread tender short kisses all around his face.

“This feels good”. He purred with such a pleased tone of voice, closing his eyes as he adventured his warm hand under your shirt to draw invisible patterns on your back.

“So good”. You affirmed, peppering his cheek with a bunch of noisy smooches.

Bucky squeezed you between his grip, hiding his face into the gap of your shoulder and neck, causing you goosebumps because of his exhalation against your skin. He was comfortable being that close, with no distance separating your chests and your legs intertwined in a bundle. You saw how relaxed he was when he pulled his head back to the pillow, noses touching and his eyelids closed.

“Good night, Buck”. You whispered, still feeling his caresses on your back, leaning to kiss him one last time.

“Good night, doll”.

a / n: i hope you have enjoyed the fluffiness of these three chapters because the fourth is gonna be... chaotic.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

and support writers with a REBLOG!!! 🤍

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[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E131 (March 30, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Liam O’Brien and Sam Riegel!

Brian points out that a lot of Caleb’s greatest fears have come to pass. Liam: “It’s funny, because he’d kind of believed for a while that those things weren’t going to happen. After a while, he got complacent.” He notes that it was extra wild because everything with Trent popped up again in the midst of that complacency. And how did it feel to be defiant toward Trent? “I think Trent successfully made Caleb question if Caleb really was in control“ at the dinner party. “I feel like anything that I do is part of his plans for me, or is that just gaslighting? I’m legitimately scared of that dude.” Sam: “Of Matt?” Liam: “Sure.” He highlights the disconnect between knowing that the M9 is mechanically powerful and could possibly defeat Trent in a dice-and-stats battle, versus fearing him in a story sense and being convinced he can do almost anything.

Sam, on Luc’s death: “That was brutal, man. Matt Mercer is a-- he hates children! Clearly. He actively sought to kill a child in the campaign in as brutal a way as possible. He hates children and wants them dead. Canon. No, but to RP, that was horrible.” He highlights that so much of Veth’s arc has been about trying to get back to her family. “We had to choose something and we thought we were making the right choice. It was all Veth’s fault, and it was pretty rotten. My heart was beating pretty fast, and I certainly didn’t want to have my son die live on the stream. I don’t know what Veth would have done. That’s the end, that’s over. It’s almost worse than when your own character would die. This is something that would also kill Veth.” After the episode was over: “just shaken. I also didn’t know what to do next! That felt like a turning-point moment for my character, weirdly so close to what we assume to be the end arc of this campaign. I texted Matt later that night and was like, that’s it, Veth’s out, I’m tapping out.”

There’s an interlude in which Sam discovers a new dream to record an episode of this show from his Peloton. Dani informs him that she will not be inviting him back.

On Astrid, Liam: “I literally don’t know what she’s doing. I know that she’s dangerous, she always was ambitious, and there’s not been a moment where Caleb let his guard down with her. He’s not trying to reestablish what they had. He cares for the both of them, for Astrid and Eodwulf. He thinks about it a lot, still. He can’t tell how much she buys into everything that she experienced and is now living as a full-grown adult. He suspects that she’s bought in and is not going to change things, because she believes in the system, as much as he’d like to peel her away. He does believe that they want what’s best for the Empire, and stopping whatever wants to come vomiting out of a hole in the frozen north is good for everyone. And they’re powerful. They’re not trustworthy, obviously. But there’s enough at stake to make it worth it. He could imagine a situation where they fight each other to the death.” He was convinced Astrid was going to stop them when they left the tower and was really shocked when she held back. Sam: “Not me! I’ve trusted Astrid since day one. She’s the greatest! I sent a letter to her, she’s very nice, I think you guys would be a nice couple. I believe every word she says.”

On having to decide on Veth deciding to go off and save the world after Luc’s death. “Like I said, I was ready to be done. And then I decided somewhere in there that that’s not very D&D. So I thought I’d leave it up to somebody else, so I asked Caduceus to decide for me, essentially. She knows she’s putting her other family in danger if she doesn’t go. It’s an impossible choice, you know?” Liam: “I love watching you grapple with it, because you’re a lovely father and love your kids.”

On the Sanatorium, Sam: “That was brutal, man. Matt lulls you into a sense of complacency. We’d forgotten that Caleb was a stone-cold killer! It had been a while since he went on a murder spree. Still got it!” Liam: “I never meant for this character to be perfect sunshine.” Brian: “You don’t say.” Liam: “He’s very not-perfect, and I think in his brain, he was going in with the impression that they needed to get in and get out as soon as possible. The place is crawling with people with magic ability, and I didn’t have faith that we wouldn’t be sussed out or something wasn’t going to blow an illusion.” Everything was about getting out of there as fast as possible.

Did the conversation with Yeza help with Veth’s decision? “First of all, every conversation with Yeza is a beautiful one. Every time she talks to Yeza, it makes her feel good. In some ways, she’s gotten to the point now where she knows Yeza’s going to be supportive, she knows he’s going to allow her to do what she wants, but maybe that’s too much. Maybe she needs to not listen to him, basically, and be like, no, you need to be selfish now, dude, you need to say ‘come home, I’m sick of you leaving’. At a certain point, being supportive can turn into being enabling.”

Cosplay of the Week: Jester in the snow! (liljerbear47, photography by kairiceleste on Instagram)

On Trent’s motivations for chasing Caleb: “I really don’t know. The simplest explanation is to just hammer down the nail that’s sticking up. It has crossed his mind that all high-level wizards are in danger of their own ambition and egos, so it’s occurred to him that Trent might have the same kind of ideas that Halas had in the past, and maybe Caleb was always meant to be another body to jump into. Maybe in some sick, disgusting, twisted way, he wants him to be his successor. I am thinking of the next campaign, without getting too deep in, trying to do something that is much more ride-along. Caleb is very, very specific, and I thought long and hard about all the different pieces on the chessboard for him. For campaign three, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.”

Dani: “Do I need to be keeping lore on your fucking ads?”

On the cursed dagger: “It was a tricky one, because in campaign one, one of the characters was under the influence of a cursed weapon, but it interacted with him and he knew what it was and what it did. And it affected his gameplay as a character. For me, Veth didn’t know what it was, ever. I as a player knew what it was doing, but Veth didn’t know at all. So it was kind of like my dirty, dark secret for many months. I knew this thing was coming perilously close to killing me, but my character didn’t know enough to bring it up to her friends. Nobody ever asked! So I was like, well, I guess this thing’s just going to kill me one day, and it’s kind of going to be a surprise.” Liam: “Sam, you love danger and self-destruction so much, you might as well be Mollymauk.”

On the fight in Yasha’s sequence, Sam: “You gotta put a character in your storm giant creature. It was so fun! It was so great of Matt to involve us in this encounter. It would’ve been fun just to watch, because Matt would have made it amazing and Ashley was sweating bullets, which is always fun to watch.” Sam notes he felt guilty, but Liam was going for the kill. Liam: “Matt’s gotta be careful about giving me that kind of story beat. I do not fucking care, I just fucking flip, I’m like, well, I’m going to destroy you, and I have no qualms about it. It’s too much fun!”

The Beau/Yasha tower date was in part inspired by not being able to give gifts as easily this last year. “This thing that we do together is a gift, but I love finding these moments, like the book for Jester and the tower for Yasha and for Beau. I really just wanted to give both of them a little magic for a night. I wanted them to leave this-- we’re trying to be as entertaining as possible, but shit is having an effect on all of us too, and I wanted them to have an escape, a great place to escape to.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot, plus Marion, Yeza, and Luc! (vocaz on Twitter)

On choosing Essek over Trent, Liam: “It would have been so interesting and awful and great! Essek and Astrid and Eodwulf are everything that Bren used to be attracted to that are terrible for him. Essek, hopefully he can with time find a way out of the hole that he dug himself into, but it was only two months ago where he was found out and his ambitions came crashing down around him. Long-term, I have high hopes for him, but I think it’s going to be hard.” In contrast, Astrid and Eodwulf are still “deep in the shit. It would have been really hard to navigate, but fun to play at the table. We made the right choice with what we went with. Essek’s just getting started, and Caleb doesn’t trust him entirely, because he was burned so hard not too long ago. He’s still more trustworthy than the other three. So it’s the better choice. While Caleb has all these ties on the other side, they’re really fucking dangerous. So if you have to choose, you choose Essek. But fuck that die.” Sam: “Veth, much like Sam Riegel, makes instant decisions about whether to trust someone or not and sticks to it forever. Astrid, 100% trust. Eodwulf, 100% distrust. Essek, completely distrust. I still don’t think he’s a good guy. Ikithon? Trust. 100%. Because you know where he’s coming forward, you know what he wants. I still want him dead, but I trust him.”

On Veth’s post-adventuring plans: “Veth is probably still too in it right now to think about what comes next. I, Sam Riegel, have a good idea of what I want Veth to do post-campaign.” Brian: “Maybe you shouldn’t tell us. Save it for the show!” Sam: “All she knows is she can’t do this anymore. It’s very unhealthy to be battle-wounded every other day. It’s fun for a while, but college has to end at some point, and she’s gotta go home.”

On Frumpkin changing appearance and returning to the Feywild: “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but the way it feels now for Caleb is that he feels too enmeshed in everything that has happened, and too much good has happened, and too much needs to happened, that that really narcissistic, selfish goal has the risk of harming everything else, which is more important. And that’s how he looks at it now. So he’s gearing towards letting everything from the beginning of the campaign, and where he started, go, and trying to figure out what use he’s going to be now and what he’s going to do if they’re not all dead. If Matt throws that shit down, I don’t know what I will do, I think about it a lot. But turning Frumpkin white and saying you’re free either way is him preparing to let go of everything he’s been holding on to for a really long time. He’s addicted to that idea that he can fix himself, and we’ll see if that hard choice gets presented, what he might do. But where he stands now, he doesn’t think that’s going to be reality, and he sees a way that he can be of use that he never really anticipated before, so he’s slowly shifting gears towards living with the pain he was trying to remove.”

On the last request scene and confidence heading into Aeor, Sam: “I feel like that’s a good request. I think all of us realized that if we die, that probably bodes badly for the world. I feel like all of us are at a point now as characters and as friends, that the first order of business would be to take care of everybody else’s shit, although we probably have different ideas of how to do that.” Liam: “I want the Empire to be healed, Caleb has all these memories of his parents and what they wanted for the world, and he wants that too. It’s clearly not in place now, the system needs to be broken and replaced. That could be a part of Caleb’s sunset. I don’t want Caleb to die, so maybe he can work on that after. As everything starts to shake out and we start heading towards our destiny, Caleb’s just free-floating. He’s not even going after the same thing he started for. So he’s looking at Veth’s family, and Luc specifically, and seeing that’s me, that’s a little boy in the Empire.”

[quillquiver]

On SPN, Burying Your Gays, and Being Heard

I am shaking, I feel sick, I feel like I’m insane. And did I run a little wild with the theories? You bet. But you know what didn’t help? The botched clusterfuck that was this entire goddamn finale debacle. How was I supposed to believe anything they said in panels when M&G dialogue would leak saying the exact opposite? How was I supposed to grieve and move on when there was nothing from the cast and crew? Nobody said anything! And any info leaked just destabilized what we already knew or directly contradicted what we’d been told. In light of that, how was I supposed to trust anything anyone said? One rogue translator reciprocated the love confession and I was practically sold, because there were so many questions surrounding the English text that this was something good, something that logically fit, and something I wanted to hold onto. 

Because they hurt me. This is about so much more than one episode or a ship; for years queer fans have seen ourselves in these characters and been told that we were crazy. That we were reading too much into it. I’m not sure how people get upset and offended when a storyline that doesn’t exist... doesn’t exist! said Guy Bee (2013). And then, after all of that, they turned around and said magnanimously, you have your version, I have mine... and that’s okay. But it’s not okay. It’s not okay, because that doesn’t erase what came before - that doesn’t erase the baiting and the gaslighting, and that invalidates everything we felt in the time leading up to that episode. It gave them an open window for all the subtext that came after. It allowed them to brush us off.

And then we got Cas’s love confession. I watched that scene about 500 times. Added to the rest of the season - to the fandom avatar being presented as successful and intelligent, to arc being the death of the author - I felt seen. Really seen, by a show that made it its mission to erase me. I had been okay with Cas dying at first because I had been sure the romance arc would carry through. I had been convinced that after everything, there was no way they would give that to us and then take it away.

But they did, because this is Supernatural. To anyone saying this is not bury your gays, I implore you to read up on the Hays Code. This link is to an amazing queer history podcast and the episode that covers it. In short, the Hays Code was a legal document that came about in 20th Century Hollywood during the puritanical war on the American entertainment industry,  and it stipulated what was not allowed on screen. Not all of it was queer - there’s a whole section about kissing - but what the Code is most remembered for is that queerness was not allowed on screen. But queer people are resilient, and so they started testing the waters... and it turned out that you could in fact code queerness into a narrative, as long as it was subtextual, or as long as the queer character died/was punished, or both. The point is that the character is not allowed to live their truth openly. They are buried, either in the ground or punished in the narrative. The former is normally what we refer to these days, because the latter just doesn’t really happen anymore.

Until Supernatural. 

Castiel is immediately punished for speaking his truth - and please don’t tell me he leveraged that punishment and so he had agency. Literally the only thing that could make him happy was confessing his feelings, and so the Empty deal was directly related to this idea of queerness-as-punishment. That being said, Bobo wrote a beautiful scene. Cas’s confession was a love letter to queerness and coming out... but everything that came after buried him. Castiel may have ended the series alive but he was effectively written out of the last two episodes, and that means that he actually never really got to live his truth. He was silenced by the narrative - that is punishment. 

Dean is a whole other can of worms. Does one rogue translator confirm canon bi!Dean? Or do we have to read our own version of the text? The fact that we even have to ask these questions firmly places us in the realm of queerbaiting. Were the writers trying to get bi!Dean approved but were unable to? I have no idea, but queerbaiting requires proof that the writers encouraged a reading they had no intent of following through on, and we certainly don’t lack in evidence of that. Not from this writers room, but from those of previous eras. Did these writers try? They might have, but the funny thing about queerbaiting discourse is that there has never been a show to bait this long, and I’m making the call that even if you tried at the end, you baited me with half the ship and all the years that came before. 

Of course, the narrative leaves open the possibility of bi!Dean so if you do read the show that way, that means Dean also falls into the bury your gays category; if you read the show this way - which many of us do - the mere suggestion that Dean Winchester was bisexual was enough to punish him. And he was punished. We’ve all written extensively on this, but he was given a random death, on a case his father never finished. All that growth, all that time spent having him accept himself, love himself, that was all taken away. He died the way he always thought he would: as a tool, in service of his father, protecting his brother. He had always believed he’d been a body to throw on the sword and in the end that’s all he was. And when he gets to Heaven? He’s also silenced. He barely speaks in the episode except to monologue during his death, and that is 100% Sam-centric. He is scared. 

It was horrific to watch. I sobbed so hard my roommate was seriously concerned. 

I had been fully prepared for Supernatural to end disappointingly. I had figured everything would end with a huge heaven reunion because white, straight, cis-male S&F writers love the idea of death as a reward, but instead of being disappointed I felt like I had witnessed a slaughter. Every single one of the queer themes intrinsic to the show: found family, resilience, speaking your truth... were gone. And I know we’ve talked about this too, but it bears repeating, because in doing this, in writing the queerness out of its narrative, Supernatural effectively looked every one of us queer folx in the eye and said: you are not important. You don’t matter. All of that stuff that came before is all good and well, but what really matters at the end of all things is blood family. It’s two brothers in a car. Life sucks but at least we get to die and go to paradise - real paradise, that your angel buddy died for and then made for you and who we never hear from again.

I felt insane. I felt cheated. I felt humiliated. I felt devastated. I still feel all those things, but listen to me. You have been heard. Not by Misha Collins, who is a great guy, but doesn’t get it. Not by Jensen Ackles, who is a similarly great guy, but also just doesn’t understand. And not by anyone else who worked on this show. 

You know who heard you? Me. The people who follow me. The people who follow you. We saw each other, and heard each other, and we gave each other a leg up. We made memes. We wrote fic. We drew fanart. We made gifs. All for ourselves and all for each other. We broke Tumblr multiple times. We donated over $60,000 USD to multiple different causes. We got multiple hashtags trending at multiple different points, and today kept it up because we demanded answers and then we got them. There were at least 5 articles written about the show today. We made that happen. We made people listen. 

Supernatural didn’t deserve me, and it didn’t deserve you. It didn’t deserve Dean. It didn’t deserve Cas. It didn’t deserve Misha and Jensen. But this show ended with a bleak, awful message and we turned around and showed them that love is loud. So what about all of this is real?

We are.

[killmebythebeach]

A bunch of head cannons (Maybe too much). Also in talking about the characters.

I think Dream is that one design where his skin is just the static tv screen. He just constantly emits that fuzzy noise, Sam crafted him the smile mask that he can see through so he doesn't scare people.

George is just kind of the server itself. He's the same species as Hannah, but a mushroom and more powerful. If he stays awake too long, the server just kind of freezes. This is also a reason XD keeps him sleeping, it's his way of talking to George and he thinks the server is like his soap opera of mortals.

Callahan is sort of like the person who makes sure George doesn't get killed or dies while asleep, making sure he's surrounded by mushrooms and such. Deer hybrid <3

Alyssa joined the server because she knew all her friends were idiots and didn't want them to die immediately. But once the elections rolled around, she felt the pressure of choosing sides and ran away to the desert, only keeping contact with Ponk. She actually lives just a couple miles from Foolish's summer home. Her communicator actually died after a couple months and she had no way of charging it, so she lost contact with everyone.

Sapnap is a magma cube hybrid and can jump higher than most, his natural temperature runs hotter, and is fire proof. Bad found him in the nether when he was maybe 10-15 years old.

Sam was actually a normal creeper, but gained player like sentience from being struck by lightning. Instead of becoming charged, he gained intelligence and met the others on the server. Callahan taught him some Redstone, but from there he figured out a lot on his own. He's also a creeper centaur.

Ponk is actually a descendant of a fairy, a lemon tree. Their mask was also a gift from Sam because after the second or third time their tree was burnt, their immune system was weakened a considerable amount. Alyssa also wore her mask for them.

Bad is a size shifting demon from the nether, more specifically soul sand desert. He uses soul fire to gain strength, so because the egg died when near it, he was just a little weaker than normal. Because he's a demon he needs a tie to the overworld to stay there, he tied his soul and lives to Skeppy.

Tommy was grown in a lab to be a hero, project: THESEUS. The lab gave him small enhancements, like slightly stronger and just a bit more resilient, to make the Above Average Boy (TM). He then ran away to meet Wilbur. When Dream asked Wilbur if he wanted to come to the server, he asked if Tommy could go first to see what it was like. He also actually really likes gardening and making up funny songs to Wilbur playing guitar. He also made funny lyrics for his discs, but he's still a bit scared to take them out of his ender chest. Other than bringing attachment, Dream also exiled Tommy to see what his lab enhancements could do.

Tubbo is an adaptive hybrid! His hair was blond, shifting to brown when Wilbur found him, getting blue eyes from Tommy, growing small horns under Schlatt, parts of his skin being static when Dream was "helping" him with his presidency, and parts of his scars tinging black and green from Ranboo and Micheal. Tubbo also helped Wilbur write part of the anthem. He likes living in the snow because the Manberg flag had magma blocks on it, casting a heatwave over the country, and after L'Manburg blew up it got really hot from the exposed stone in direct sun.

Fundy can actually hold his breath for a very long time and swim very well because of Sally teaching him and his salmon genes. The yellow things on his hat are actually shells, and the stripes on his jacket are trans colors. Also with his dreams, he saw Eret was going to betray them but didn't think it was real, or didn't want to. He also saw Wilbur blow up L'Manburg but chose not to believe it, thinking his father could still be saved. He actually saw pretty much everything, but didn't quite understand what they were until after doomsday.

The necklace Punz wears is one of those picture lockets, but he lost the picture and can't remember what it was. The first time Dream paid him was when Dream asked for help and Punz made an off hand joke about getting money, and then Dream thought he was being serious. Him, Dream, and Sapnap were like brothers, and Punz got sadder every time he saw Dream pushing people away and diving deeper into darkness.

Purpled is an aliensent to see if the planet was colonizable, but then crashed and was stranded, all his communications down and his ship barely able to hover fifty feet off the ground. When Quackity blew it up, he essentially got rid of his chance of ever going home. Purpled's species can shapeshift, so he turned himself into the first person he saw, Punz. Eventually before trying to communicate with the native life forms, he edited his form a little so they weren't identical, keeping purple eyes and antennae, changing the colors slightly, and changing the voice up. When he moves away from the main SMP, Ponk makes sure to check up on him and that he has a way to check his communicator.

Wilbur came a month after sending Tommy. His father being a patron of life and his mother the goddess of death, he met in the middle being born as a human. The only reason Ghostbur was as active and present as he was was because he was so connected to both life and death. Since his corpse was decaying for as long as it was, Wilbur is now super weak, his flesh is thin and his eyes are rotted and gone. Much like Ghostbur, Wilbur in limbo saw what people said about him, and Ghostbur could hear that from the back of his head. Now Wilbur can hear what people say about Ghostbur and he hates it, not wanting to be connected to what he thinks like a shell of himself.

Schlatt is a ram (duh) and actually does the fainting goat thing. So when he died of a heart attack, no one knew at first if he was actually dead or not. His alcoholism stems from the revive book, as the possibility of tampering with death made him existential and scared, so to cope he drank. There are also a ton of other stuff other than revival in the book, but it's in galactic.

Skeppy was just a normal human, but after making the pact with Bad, Bad put a spell on him. Parts of him turned into diamond, protecting both his and Bad's lives. He however, is unaware of this. With the egg, he would just sit on it, the diamonds chipping away to make room for the vines.

Eret was cursed by the Wither Cult, giving them white eyes and a slowly deteriorating memory. Not sure what to do, Foolish dropped them off at the SMP. Sometimes they would dream about old memories from before the curse, but it was just glimpses so he could never tell what they meant. Once they were king, they made the Herobrine shrine subconsciously, not really sure what it was after. They also had a strange affinity of beacons and resurrection, some of their memories resurfacing when they tried to help Phil and Ghostbur revive Wilbur after doomsday. The reason people are more scared of their eyes than any other wierd eyes was because he generally looks like a normal human, but the wither along with their Herobrine origins creates an uncanny valley that people are shocked by.

Jack had red and blue irises before crawling out of hell, but after coming back the whites of his eyes also turned red and blue. He always wears 3d glasses so no one noticed, but he just thought no one cared enough to mention it. He also has a bunch of scars and burn marks that no one but him can see, therefore no one asks about them or thinks something is wrong, cementing the idea that no one cares about him.

Niki is a blaze hybrid (stole this from @/420technoblazeit) whose fire hair color changes based on strong emotion, something she bond with Tubbo for as a fellow shifter. A soft yellow in L'Manburg, brighter orange in Manburg, hot pink on Doomsday, a soul fire blue with the syndicate (which Techno hates), and a dead grey when she found out Wilbur was alive. She was also old child hood friends with Ranboo and Eret, leaving Ranboo for the SMP. Ranboo, unfortunatly, doesn't remember much more than her name. She also knows galactic from Ranboo, so she talks about her troubles to Shy the Enderman. She doesn't really know how to talk to Puffy anymore after Doomsday or finding out how she wants to protect Tommy.

Quackity can perfectly replicate someone's voice and, with a lot of effort, can completely change his form to another player. He also has very small yellow wings, too small to fly, so he almost always hides them. He used to constantly change his voice for jokes with Karl, Sapnap, and George, but he doesn't like doing it now in Las Nevadas, as he sees it as unprofessional. However, sometimes he uses when he visits Dream, changing his voice to people like George and Sapnap to make torture more effective.

In the In Between and Other Side, Karl actually looks like his old skin, or his natural state (the big purple one that inspired his sweater). But most of the time in the normal world, he looks human. With effort he can bring out the interdemential being thing, something only Quackity and Sapnap know about. The more he time travels, the easier it becomes to change, and he's even started defaulting to the other form.

HBomb is actually just a normal news reporter, sent to interview and record what's going on in the server, his first big story being the election. Upon Doomsday, the stress of seeing everyone alone, fighting, and disconnected, he ran away from the world, essentially becoming a cat lady. His undercover reporter persona is actually the cat maid. He eventually came back to the server to see how he could help after Doomsday, befriending Niki again and living with her in the underground city.

Techno is a piglin, so he's scared of soul fire. He forgot to tell Phil before he decorated the syndicate room, so he just suffers in silence. He also does better when around a lot of gold, like in the nether, and he feels drained and slightly weaker without it. Instead of just putting gold around the area (it would ruin his property value), he just hibernates. He has an emerald earing, like all of the syndicate, but his is a locket that unfolds into pictures of the syndicate.

Ant always wears a red hoodie, now ruined by the egg, that used to be Red's. On Red's death anniversary, him, Bad, Skeppy, and Sam would make cake and put flowers on his grave. He missed the last one because it was during the egg, but for a brief moment after Puffy killed him he saw Red. Red then promptly and bluntly told him to stop being a pussy (haha, cat) and that he shouldn't do all this just to get him back, one of Ant's motivators to make amends with the people he hurt while with the egg. Ant is also a shapeshifter, but can only turn into a cat.

Phil actually used to work under Foolish as a patron of life but then he had a son with the goddess of death, so his title was removed so he could be with her and he became an Angel of Death. Kristin noticed how sad he was after being released, so she gifted him wings. They were however, destroyed on November 16th. His chat also serves as messenger pigeons, which were used to send letters to Wilbur.

Connor is actually just a hedgehog who somehow befriended Schlatt. Even before the haunted mansion, Karl vented to him about his time travel troubles, not knowing he was a sentient player. As a hedgehog, no one really cares where he goes, so he goes outside the server limits to meet his friends from the haunted mansion.

Puffy is a distant relative of Schlatt, but instead of politics she went into piracy. With her mom, she went travelling the seas. One say, a storm came and wiped out her ship, her crew, her mom, everything but her. The reason she survived was because Foolish saw her and saved her. Unfortunately, Puffy hit hee head in the crash and doesn't remember anything.

Vikkstar is the equivalent of a big time celebrity, so of course his endorsement of POG2020 was a big deal.

Lazarbeam is literally just a ginger bread cookie.

Ranboo has actually met a lot of the smp before actually joining. He's met Niki, Fundy, Eret, Punz, and Dream at least. He also sees the inverted colors Enderman see. His suit was actually a gift from Eret before they forgot how to tailor. He got the crown from Techno after joining the syndicate, claiming he didn't want any syndicate members to look like trash.

Foolish came to the server most recently to check up on Eret, but he couldn't bring himself to leave again. When Puffy adopts him, he can't say no because he remembers saving her. His initial goal was to kill an ender dragon to claim the XD title and become a full god like DreamXD, but after realising someone already killed it he went into his totem if death phase. Upon meeting Eret, he got over it and they went on some silly adventures, Foolish now taking a more peaceful route.

Hannah is essentially a weaker George, as her power is tied to the plants themselves and not the entire server. She however has a lot more physical power because rose dryads like to fight because they have thorns. Since roses can be taken out a lot easier, she is essentially a glass canon. Also when around any plant, she can make it grow faster than normal.

Any guest on the server? Corpse, Pokimane, Lil Nas? They were all Slimecicle. That's how he knows where everyone is from, even outside of Las Nevadas. No one else knows this. He's also ancient, if he met Phil they would probably recognise eachother. There was an actual Charlie Slimecicle who was not a slime, but after being launched into orbit this Slimecicle decided to impersonate him.

Michael Mcchill is a sort of bounty hunter. He came to the server after hearing of all the crime, assuming there'd be a lot of bounties to collect. However, he soon learned that no one really cares if you commit a crime. He then took to reading news articles made by HBomb to see if there were any past open bounties. But after reading for a while about the server's wronguns, mostly Dream, he began to sympathise with them. And he's also a speedrunner, so maybe he could help with some bounties across other servers!

This was a very long post and i apologize, but it was so fun to finally write all these thoughts down! I hope you liked them! I can't even fit all the tags I want.