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lubdubsworld · 4 years ago

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Better Man.

~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC

Rating 18 +

Angst.

Implied Infidelity in the past.

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time.

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her.

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles.

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms.

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face.

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance.

Us.

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

I was the one getting a divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us ) and he had been the most kind man .

I swallowed.

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine. It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over?

The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, " I’m sorry, Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again.

So we had done the wise thing.

At first a break.

A few days apart to get our head on straight. Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other.

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation.

People with children didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.

But, none of it mattered now.

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real.

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband.

He would be my ex -husband.

i hated that word.

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered, angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved.

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world.

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer. It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery.

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior.

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel.

I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

It had been sheer luck that we had met....

In fact, if Jimin's car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it.

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight.

I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either .

And I had fallen in love with that version of him.

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him.

That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years. So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order.

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating.

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. "

Whatever it was.

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection reduced to a phrase like that.

What a pity.

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably.

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.”

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly.

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t.

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung.

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives.

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.”

And that had stuck with me.

Walk out the first time.

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time.

And so I had.

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself. “ I shouted.

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down.

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending.

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight. I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible.

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes.

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in .

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative.

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us why.

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue.

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life.

It wasn’t easy.

From him, it had been nothing but a mess of heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give.

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering.

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare. I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy.

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning.

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves.

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this.

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him.

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him.

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. .

Of course, the customary hug.

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine?

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face.

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together.

No, that wasn’t it.

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them.

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized. “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him.

“Okay .” I said casually.

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged.

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased.

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight into my heart.

That stupid nickname.

God I couldn’t bear it.

Swallowing i looked away.

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later.

I nodded curtly.

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely.

“Why not?” He whispered gently.

I groaned.

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered.

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him.

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted.

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he had used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw.

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me.

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently.

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us.

“Shall we begin?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride.

#taehyung angst #taehyung smut #taehyung fics #bts fics #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic

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dingdonghyvck · 4 years ago

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The Only Exception || Lee Haechan x Reader

Summary: You finally realize that Haechan’s the only exception to the one rule you gave yourself.

Genre: Angst and a little bit of Fluff

Pairing/s: Drummer!Haechan x Lead Vocalist!Reader, Minor College Student!Mark x Reader

Warnings: Explicit content, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, implications of sex, sex jokes, use of drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, verbal and physical abuse, divorce, and a few others I probably forgot to mention

Word Count: 5.4k words

So this is part two of the Drummer!Haechan AU I wrote: Still Into You

Please do give feedback, it’s greatly appreciated! Thank you and enjoy :)

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.

He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.

And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget”

It all started with hushed arguments, hidden whispers of disappointment behind closed doors, afraid of breaking the perfect image your family had, afraid of the neighbors to talk. From hushed arguments to daily endeavors of avoiding each other everyday, it was like a ticking bomb inside your home. A ticking bomb you had tip-toed over each morning past your parents' bedroom, hearing the muffled crying. You knew it was only a matter of time before the bomb would finally explode, imploding your house from inside-out.

You hoped and you prayed to any god willing to listen that the rumors were not true. The neighbors started talking and the news had somehow got out. And that was when everything started breaking down. The hushed arguments turned to wars of screaming and crying, sharp words that cut through you like a knife. That was when the walls of your home began to talk, they spoke to you too, they echoed the hatred your parents had for each other. They made you feel unwanted, unloved and useless, since of course the sole foundation of your life was crumbling. You were the scars, bruises, and pain they brought into the world, you were once proof of their love that turned into a ghost wandering the halls, desperately clawing against the wallpaper to make it all stop.

It didn't end with words, it seemed as if words weren't hurtful enough. You were caught in the crossfire, desperately trying to raise the white flag between the two, but you ended up becoming their stress ball. They would sometimes drown you, lock you up in the basement or straight up hit you. They kept squeezing you and throwing you around like a stress ball bound to burst, the people at school began noticing the bruises and cuts. In the end they left you alone, vacant and ignored since you began bringing your friends over your house.

And for the first time in a while you felt safe, you felt safe in Jeno's comforting smile when he tried to teach you guitar. You felt safe with Hendery's little pranks and teasing during practices. You felt safe in Donghyuck's presence whenever you two would head out after band practice, in his car with no particular destination in mind. The nights were long, but somehow it always ended too quickly for you. You wished you could stay for an eternity inside Donghyuck's car, it was a place where you didn't bother to be someone else except yourself.

It was a space where you weren't either the whore's daughter or the useless excuse of a student. You were just authentically you and Donghyuck openly accepted you, he didn't say it but you knew he did. He didn't talk whenever you didn't feel like it, he opened the car window when you wanted to watch the stoplights and streetlight wiz by. That's what made those nights perfect, it was Donghyuck's soft humming along the mediocre pop song on the radio. His weirdly specific defensive monologue whenever you brought up his tacky lavender car scent. Donghyuck's presence in general as he would sometimes just hold your hand while you thought to yourself.

One of those nights where you thought to yourself that life should always be like this, you didn't know how, but you knew that Donghyuck has to be apart of it. You decided that the world may go to shit, your parents may end up getting a divorce, you may end up living the rest of your life as a deadbeat. But you no longer cared as long as you had this place, in a worn out car seat next to him; well that was what you thought at least.

"And that was the day that I promised,

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist"

Donghyuck's sudden departure from the band shocked both Jeno and Hendery, they took it considerably well in all honesty. They still wanted to continue on with the band, partly because they needed the money from the gigs and mostly because they worried for you as a friend. You tried your best in trying to continue with your life and look for another drummer, for another Donghyuck in your life. As silly as it sounded since you were the one that pushed him away, you would think of him most days. You were only realizing how important Donghyuck was in your life.

He was always the one who took care of you, reminded you to eat and rest whenever you forgot. He would show up at your dorm to bring you breakfast or make you coffee, remind you that some of the books you borrowed from the library was due tomorrow, or even just chat you to check on how your day was going. Now that you had changed your number and avoided him like a plague you were starting to realize how much you lost.

And you had thought of calling him, or maybe reaching out to ask how his day was going, the same way he used to check on you. You were so tempted that you showed up at his place, a second away from buzzing his doorbell, but you remembered. You remembered how awful you were to him, you were reminded of the pain and misery you've caused him all through out your lives so far. You were being selfish yet again, so you stopped yourself. You immediately turned around that day and called up Hendery and Jeno to tell them that the band was over, you didn't have the guts to face them anymore.

The guilt was eating you alive, they had tried to convince you otherwise but you pushed them away too. The only person who you kept in your life was Mark. You still felt happy to be around him, although you didn't feel comfortable since you felt like you had to keep a facade around him. He seemed glad to see you more often, you'd cling onto him like a flee for days. But there came a time when he finally asked why you were so vacant these days, and where were your other friends; it was an argument caused by Mark's growing irritation for being required to see you everyday and almost having to babysit you like child, all the while trying to keep up with other activities going on his life. You had left him without a single word and returned the next day like nothing happened.

He genuinely did like you, he wished things were different but he couldn't handle the nonstop texts and calls that came from you every minute of the hour, he was beginning to get sick of it. And you immediately notice his distaste, the way he would dryly reply to your messages or not talk to you whenever he did have time to see you. You knew you were becoming a bit too much for him, desperate for company that you became too overbearing, a bit too possessive and selfish when it came to his time.

And for the first time, you felt it. You felt how your heart sunk everytime Mark chose to answer a call from a friend when you were talking to him, the way he would look anywhere else but you whenever you tried to start conversations. You were usually on the other end of the stick, careless of other people’s emotions and too busy living in your own world. You finally knew what it felt when Donghyuck dated you, and what horrible thoughts that came with it. In the end, you knew that Mark was too kind to end it with you, he obviously knew you were having issues in your personal life, but he couldn't be bothered anymore; he's tried talking to you about it, but you'd always change the topic.

So you told yourself that it was better if you would be alone for now, this is the tenfold of misery and hurt you've caused everyone around you, especially Donghyuck, your world was falling apart as more and more people left. You eventually ended things with Mark, and he gave you a simple okay and left. He didn't seem to notice you anymore, he continued to live his university life unscathed, it was as if you two never spoke in the first place.

He would sometimes smile at you or give you a small nod of his head whenever you saw each other around campus, but that was the most you've gotten from him. You didn't blame him, he didn't have time to waste with people like you. Being alone with your thoughts truly was eating you alive, you were beginning to go insane. Everytime you were about to reach out to anyone, either Jeno, Hendery, or Donghyuck, you'd always stop yourself to remind you that you deserved this.

You deserved to be alone, you cannot be loved. You were a heartless monster just as Donghyuck said and you lived most of your days alone while trying to survive with the little funds your new part time provided. You didn't know how, but you somehow lived as days went by. You watched the leaves and flowers bloom from the branches outside of your dorm till they wilted. It was now winter, and you freely wandered the streets. No other human could be seen outside, everyone was probably spending time with loved ones, since of course it was the holidays.

Days you should be spending with the people you cherish and loved the most, you could see the warm lights from within some of the homes, laughter resonates through the walls, probably the lovers and families enjoying their own company. Playing dumb board games and cuddled up by the fire, watching the grinch movies with eggnog and warm cups of hot choco. You never really understood the joys of the holidays, probably because the only other person you had spent it was with Donghyuck, and there you go thinking of him again.

As if thinking of him in everything you do wasn't enough, he began appearing in your dreams. You didn't know if it was pleasant to revisit old memories or did it hurt to reminisce what was lost between you two. And as much as it hurt you chose to remember him as someone you loved, perhaps not romantically, but he was someone you truly cherished. You thought that he'd comment on how cheesy you've become, so melodramatic that you'd give William Shakespear a run for his money when he's already in his grave.

You bitterly laugh at the thought, the cold makes your throat dry and eyes watery but you look up to the moon while standing next to a lamp post near the frozen river. You could almost feel his presence, you truly were going insane that you started imagining things he'd say to you at times like this. The snarky comments and cute pet names he'd give you whenever you dragged him along for whatever adventure you had in mind. You remembered how he'd first complain about it to no end, but he always ends up coming with you. He always does, of course, he's Donghyuck, the person who stuck with you through thick and thin; the person you've hurt the most.

You begin humming a small tune, you didn't recognize it at first, but you ended up humming a paramore song. The song you both listened to during class the first day you two met, the same song that you sang here, with tears streaming down you cheeks. You didn't know you were crying until you felt the cold gust of wind brushing against your cheeks, a chill running down your spine as you sniffled.

"I hope you're happy now Hyuck, wherever you are," it felt weird to speak, you couldn't remember the last time you opened your mouth to say anything. it's been months since you've last said a word to anyone, you throat was dry and you could barely recognize your own voice, it was raspier than you last remembered.

"I'm happy enough to know we're looking at the same moon tonight at least." you laughed, your throat hurts like hell, the laugh came as a croak and you tried to gasp in air to try and stop yourself from breaking down.

It felt weird to listen to your own voice, everything felt unreal. These past few months were like a fever dream to you, you even wondered if you were dead and this was some cruel purgatory you served for the shit you pulled back then. You've thought about jumping into the frozen river, maybe the cold would at least wake you up if this was truly some cruel nightmare. If not it could also finally end all the suffering and pain you know you caused yourself, what hurt most was you cannot blame anyone else for what is happening now. You shakily let out a breath, hands gripping the metal railing. You were about to jump over it when the street's fairy lights were suddenly turned on and it reflected off the thin layer of ice of the lake.

You wake up from your daze, what the hell were you thinking? The pretty lights distracted you for a moment, you pace your breathing with the consistent flicker of the warm glow of the tiny lights, trying to calm down.

"And I've always lived like this,

keeping a comfortable distance"

senior year, prom.

You bit your lip while watching the fairy lights flicker, whose idea was it to have tiny light bulbs as decoration for the photo booth, and god you wanted to give them a kiss now. It was such a hazard that you couldn't stop thinking of the endless possible drama it could cause, the prom queen could end up stepping on it and light her dress on fire, that would at least make the night interesting. You blew the tiny patch of fake snow off the table while you grumpily waited for someone, anyone, to step on one of the fairy lights, but you were dragged out of your reverie when you hear Donghyuck's voice behind you.

"Hey ugly,"

"Hey stupid," you replied, eyes shifting away from the photo booth for a second to look at him. He stuck out like a sore thumb, he wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the rest, or even a tie to at least try and be formal. He was sporting his favorite leather jacket with a green untucked button up underneath, he looked underdressed, the only effort he made to his appearance was the way he styled his hair to showcase his forehead.

"That's not a nice way to speak to your boyfriend" Donghyuck faked a gasp, dragging a chair to sit down beside you, you raised an eyebrow at him. The stupid crease on his jacket annoyed you to no end, so you fixed it for him, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow at you.

"Boyfriend? I thought boyfriends put in extra efforts for prom? You know like in the movies, they give the girl a cute corsage and tell them how pretty they look and end up fucking in the bathroom or something?"

"You're beautiful." He says it blatantly, you stop to look him in the eyes, and it seemed genuine. You pursed your lips while trying to hide your smile, boyfriend Donghyuck was different from best friend Donghyuck, he was a lot... sweeter.

"Let's fuck in the bathroom later?" he added, to which you groaned and slapped his thigh. He only laughed at you while gently fitting his hand into yours, gently kissing your knuckles when you swore you were gonna bite his dick someday, just he wait.

Well you'll give him credit, he at least made an effort to look nice for you. You didn't even bother to blow dry your hair today and you were wearing what you'd usually wear whenever you went out with him, just with a bit more grunge added, like black fishnet stockings. He wasn't complaining at all, he knew that whatever you were wearing tonight would end up ripped anyway, probably somewhere on his bedroom floor. And plus, you two didn't really attend prom, the only reason you bothered to this year was for the battle of the bands.

You were already done with the performance so you were all simply waiting for the announcement of the winner. You knew Jeno was probably out on the dance floor dancing with his date in a proper suit and tie like a gentleman, but you had no idea where Hendery went. One second he said he was going to get you a drink, the next he's disappeared before you into thin air. So you were left with Donghyuck, who was currently playing with your rings. As weird as it felt to have a label between you two, nothing's changed. You thought that you'd feel more awkward towards him, but the only thing that changed was the label, and you were happy in a way.

"Wanna dance?"

You perk up at his question, you finally realize that a slow song was playing. Everyone was paired off in front of you, even some of the teachers were dancing. You almost let out a laugh at the sight of some of couples who were trying their best to keep it in their pants. You thought he was joking until you looked over at him, he was shyly fiddling with his own hands now, not able to look you in the eyes. You would laugh if it weren't for the way he seemed so shy to ask, he looked like he was about to combust.

"I don't dance," you laughed, he looks up at you. You didn't know it was possible but he looked much more embarrassed now, it was cute it in a way.

"Let's get out of here?"

"Now that's more like it" you smirk, taking his hand to lead him outside of the gymnasium and to his car. He didn't bother to fight it, he just simply let you drag him out to the parking lot.

He opens the car door for you and you played along, deciding to not tease him just this once since, of course, he was already red enough. He turns on the engine and you switch through different channels on the radio, finally settling on one when he pulls out of the driveway.

“And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.”

The song on the radio hummed in the background as he drove as carefully as he could, the roads were iced and it wasn't very safe to drive right now. He was about to take the turn to his house but you stop him and told him to bring you to the center of town, he was unsure why the sudden request, but he follows your directions anyway. For the moment, you stared at his face. The way the streetlights lit up his skin, you rarely saw his forehead and it did make him look attractive. Well he was already attractive in the first place but you couldn’t help but observe the way he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel to the song’s beat, it looked instinctive and natural to him.

"So are you finally going to murder me and take my intestines to sell on the black market?" he spoke, and you laughed, throwing your head back; he was finally starting to look handsome to you, and he opens that damned mouth of his.

"Kidneys my darling! Your kidneys will be worth a fortune!" you giggled while leaning over the center console to kiss his cheek, he smiled at the sound of your laughter.

He takes you exactly where you asked him, the center of the town. The exact intersection that’s considered as the heart of your buzzing neighborhood. The exact intersection that usually had so many cars, always the cause of traffic and delay, was now completely empty. All the stores near the intersect were closed, no other person in sight but the stoplights continued to operate. The colors red, yellow, and green appearing in an ordered sequence, proportionally timed. Although there wasn't a single car in sight, Donghyuck stopped when the light turned red.

"What are you waiting for?" you asked in confusion, he shrugs.

"Can you tell me why we're here?"

You didn't bother to speak, you simply got out of the car and stood at the center of the intersection. You opened your arms up to him and he watched you curiously, you let out a boisterous laugh, spinning around your heel. You forgot that the road was slippery so you fell flat on your back, still laughing. Donghyuck runs out of his car to kneel beside you, he had a worried look to him but it immediately faded away when you looked at him with joy in your eyes.

He scoffed, not forgetting to comment on how stupid you looked before offering his hand to help you stand up. You take his hand but instead of sitting up, you pull him towards you and he slips, ending up toppled over you. His breathing was uneven as it brushed cooly against your cheek, you close your eyes at the feeling. He gently kissed your cheek after a minute, finally standing up to brush himself off. You were still lying down on the ground, flailing your arms around to try and form a snow angel.

"Are you dumb? Get up before we get run over" Donghyuck tried to sound angry, but he couldn't stop the lilt in his voice, a tiny chuckles escapes his mouth.

"Shut up already and just lie down! Why do you always ruin the moment?” you whined looking up at him, still spread eagle at the center of the intersect, he raised an eyebrow at you, it was becoming a habit to him.

“Don’t you feel it too? The world’s stopped, they’ve finally shut up! So enjoy it and come lie down with me.”

“And if we get run over?”

“Then so be it” You shrugged, Donghyuck lets out a heavy sigh before taking his seat beside you. He doesn’t lie down, so you sit up to lean against his shoulder.

And the world stops, like what you said. For a moment the only thing you two could hear was the sound of your breathing and the beating of your hearts, he held your hand in his while you both watched the stoplight change colors. It felt like you two were the only people on earth, and it was the best. There was nothing but the moon, your thoughts, the stoplight, and him. And as peaceful as it was you couldn’t stop the thought from spilling from your mouth.

“Someday I’ll burn this town to the ground” you comment, and he snorts.

“Gee, it sure sounds like a solid plan” he says it sarcastically, and you turn to look at him.

“I’m serious! You better not get in my way or anything or else I’ll have to set you on fire” you say it with the most serious tone that he’s taken aback, well that was one weird thought he thought.

His face makes you laugh and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh with you. He shook his head when he realized you were joking, probably. You felt content and happy that you decided to grant him one wish. He once again has the confused face he had earlier, just when he was finally settled you suddenly move. He tries to stand up to follow you, but you told him that you’ll be back.

He watched you open the driver’s side of the car, he thought you were about to drive away and leave him here but he was abruptly stopped mid-thought when the speakers of the radio of his car boomed throughout the empty streets. His eyes widened, he was worried that it might wake the whole street up. Then he remembered that the residential homes were located near the outskirts of town, so it was unlikely that anyone would hear. Most of this area had shops and stores, so the people are probably back at home, you both aren’t technically disturbing anyone hopefully. He relaxes back into his seat to watch you waltz back towards him.

“So?” you asked, the smile on your face was infectious.

“So?” he mimicked dumbly and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, was he always this dumb?

“May I have this dance?” you groaned, turning red yourself. You blamed it on the cold, but he couldn’t help but laugh at you. At first it sounded like he was mocking you, but when you met his eyes to smack him on the head you were only met with eyes filled with so much endearment and affection that you could only pull back your hand.

He takes your hand to stand up, you complain of course, he was heavy. But he hushed you when he placed his fingers to your chapped lips, he smiled so widely that it looked like it hurt. You pursed your lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and he securely holds your waist. Although the atmosphere was supposed to be romantic, your terrible sense of rhythm in dancing ruined it. You would think that you’d be good at following the rhythm when dancing being a couple of musicians, but you both always missed a beat by a second. And he could only laugh while you cursed, finally remembering why you never danced.

You were muttering something under you breath, but your voice hitched when he brushes his fingers against your hair. He placed a sweet kiss to your temple and you freeze, you felt your heart clench at the action. He begins whispering the lyrics to your ear, you swallow thickly. This was one of the rare times he’d sing to you, you tried to tell him countless times that his voice was beautiful, but he had always denied saying yours was better. But hearing him now, whispering softly against your ear while he nuzzled his nose to your neck affectionately made your heart throb. You take in a deep breath, this feeling in your chest, it was your heart clenching. You didn’t know if he was hurting you but you were so overwhelmed that you suddenly pushed him away.

“Did I do something wrong?” his eyes spoke, trying to reach out to you again but you take another step backward.

“This was a stupid idea” You were shocked to hear your voice crack, Donghyuck frowns at your comment.

“What do you mean?”

“Take me home.... now.”

He tried to take a step towards you but you run back towards his car, closing the door to wait for him. You lower the volume of the radio and try to gather your thoughts, what the fuck was that? You watched him walk back towards the car and swore to yourself, whatever the hell you felt earlier, whatever he did to you, he will never be able to do again. It was too much of a risk, and you swore to yourself to never let yourself be that vulnerable again.

He tries to talk to you on the way home, but your replies were dry. You were busy fiddling with your fingers while looking outside the window. He tried his best to make you tell him what he did wrong but he couldn’t get another word out from you the moment he pulled up in front of your house. You were about to leave but you decided to try and turn things around, you tried to get back to what you two were used to.

You kissed him, hauling yourself over the center console to sit on his lap. He tries to pull away but you continued to kiss, hastily lifting his shirt to try and remove it. In the end he was weak to your touch, he could never deny you of anything. He hoped that you two could talk it out in the morning but you were unavailable the next few weeks after that, busy fooling around with Johnny.

“I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream”

Present day.

The next day you decided to visit your home town. Although you didn’t have any family left to visit, you had volunteered to play at an orphanage, it was the least you could do for the holidays. If you couldn’t be happy, you could at least make others feel it. Who knew that Jeno’s stupid guitar lessons would end up becoming an asset to you, you could at least spread a little joy to the children who didn’t have parents, you somehow understood how they felt, in a weird way.

It was a joy to finally sing with a purpose again, hearing them laugh and sing along with you made your heart sore. Well at least you didn’t feel as useless after playing with a few of the kids and chatting with the caretakers and other volunteers. It felt freeing, to finally do something right. You fucked up this year for the most of it but you felt a bit less burdened when the children asked you to braid their hair or took your hand to dance with them. After serving your purpose at the orphanage you find yourself at the intersection. You don’t know what you wanted to accomplish, but your feet ended up taking you here.

And as expected it was filled with bustling life, people going in and out of shops to buy late christmas presents, children building snowmen and riding the tiny slopes made by the snow. The traffic as usual was heavy, the cars were honking and the streets were so noisy that no one could bearly hear themselves think. You sat by a bench near the park, the intersect still in your sight. You were eating a bagel mindlessly when a little kid sat beside you, he was eyeing your guitar.

“You play?” the little kid asked and you nodded, giving him a small smile to not scare him away, you probably looked like a walking corpse; you can’t remember the last time you slept properly.

“A little bit, like five songs?” you smiled and he instantly asks you to play, there was this urgency in his voice that you couldn’t help but immediately do what he was asking.

You bite into the bagel while tuning your guitar, thinking of a song to play, well out of the five you knew how to play. You began strumming the guitar to Paramore’s The Only Exception, humming the tune as best as you could with the bagel in your mouth. You end your humming after the first chorus to be met with a grimace, the little kid laughed at you.

“You’re no good”

“Hey!” you take out the bagel from your mouth to yell jokingly at him, he scrunches his nose up when you ruffle his hair and you laugh at his annoyed face, he somehow looked familiar, was he one of the kids from the orphanage? Wait were they even allowed to leave the orphanage?

“So what’s your name?” You ask, putting the guitar back into its case. The voice that meets your ears wasn’t the little boy’s, it was a voice you haven’t heard in a long time, a voice you thought you’d never hear again.

“Dongsuk,”

This has to be a dream, it couldn’t be real. You blink a few times before pinching yourself, you were probably hallucinating. Because there is no way, not a chance the Lee Donghyuck was now standing in front of you. That shit only happens in movies, this can’t be real. But you could only rub your eyes so much, he looked real, like real enough that he was getting closer to you. And he finally speaks, and you finally realize it really is him in the flesh.

“Where have you been?” he speaks, you first thought that he was talking to you but he grabs the little boy’s arm. He glances at you and you try to speak and he simply turns his nose away from you, you feel your world crack in half.

To his defense you were the one who moved dorms, changed your number, and avoided him like a plague. So his reaction was expected, you don’t know why you were so surprised. He was about to walk away when you finally speak, he stops cold in his steps when he hears your voice.

“Donghyuck...” He turns to look at you, and his eyes were still the same. It still had the same hurt and sadness you’d usually see when he looked at you, but he looked much more angrier than you remembered.

“Let’s... talk”

“You are the only exception, oh and I'm on my way to believing.”

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holylulusworld · 5 years ago

Text

The Boy Next Door

Summary: Dean is the boy next door and the one that got away.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden, Cassie Robinson, unnamed mother

Warnings: angst, shy reader, bullying, sadness, mentions of death of loved ones

A/N: This is my entry for @cockslut-padalecki‘s BACK TO THE MOVIES challenge, my song was ‘The boy next door’ by Judy Garland from the movie ‘Meet Me In St. Louis’

I just recognized the challenge was due October 1st not 7th, sorry. I hope you still like my entry.

Words: 1963

I still remember the moment the Winchesters moved in. Not as I was nosy and watched every new neighbor move in, but as a certain boy caught my attention.

He was around 10 but the way he cared for his little brother, who he lovingly called Sammy, was something else. I never saw a kid take care of his sibling the way Dean Winchester did.

I think the moment he kneeled in front of his brother to check on Sam’s bleeding knee was the moment Dean Winchester stole my heart. I could see the smile on Dean’s face when Sam stopped crying and my heart fluttered.

I smiled with Dean when his brother jumped up to run toward his father to show him the Batman plaster his big brother put onto his wound. Of course, John grumbled something I didn’t understand before he ushered his sons inside.

The moment I saw him smile

I knew he was just my style

My only regret is we've never met

Though I dream of him all the while

Months later I saw Dean playing with the kids from the neighborhood. Only I was not around. I always was a nerdy little girl, afraid to talk to other kids.

“You should go and talk to the boys, Y/N. They seem to be nice,” my mother said, hoping I will finally get over my shyness, but I didn’t.

I tried to forget about the cocky boy's smile but – to be honest, I never did. When the months turned into years I slowly lost hope that I ever will find the guts to talk to Dean.

Once I almost made it to their house, but then Sam called for his brother and I didn’t want to interrupt their conversation. I ushered back inside, hating myself.

Sixteen was the turning point. I got rid of my braces, asked my mom to buy me a nice dress as Dean invited every kid from the neighborhood to celebrate he got his driving license.

I smiled to myself when he hovered over the classic car his dad got for him.

I still remember the black Impala, its roar, and how the car paint reflected the sun on hot summer days.

“Will you go, sweetheart?” My mother asked when I stood in front of our door, ready to break out of my shell. “I can go with you.”

“No, mom. I’ve got this,” I gave her my bravest smile before I finally opened the door to almost run toward the Winchesters' house. But when I arrived, my heart dropped.

Lisa, the prettiest and most popular girl was leaning against the Impala, giggling at something that Dean said. I stood on the other side of the street, glancing at Dean who yelled something at Jimmy, his best friend before he ran off.

“Why is that freak here?” Cassie chortled, looking at me with disgust. “Did Dean invite her?”

“No,” Lisa laughed, shaking her head. “He doesn’t even know that nerd exists. Hey, go back to where you belong. Stick your nose into another book, freak.” Lisa said, unbeknownst Sam heard every word.

But he doesn't know I exist

No matter how I may persist

So it's clear to see there's no hope for me

Though I live at fifty-one-thirty-five Kensington Avenue

And he lives at fifty-one-thirty-three

I dropped the gift I got for Dean. A book about the Impala as I thought it’s a nice gift and that Dean will finally see me. But when I realized he didn’t even know I exist, my world crumbled down.

“There she goes,” Lisa snickered, watching me dash toward our house. “I wonder why she showed up. Dean never mentioned freaky sneaky Y/N.”

“I invited her,” Sam picked the gift carefully up. “She’s always alone. I thought it’s nice to get to know her. I should’ve known better than letting someone that nicely get close to you…bitches,” Sam ran off, pushing his big brother aside when Dean tried to stop him.

I only know Sam never mentioned the gift or that day, but my mom told me she watched the boy hide the book in his jacket, protecting it against Dean’s elder friends.

How can I ignore the boy next door

I love him more than I can say

Doesn't try to please me

Doesn't even tease me

And he never sees me glance his way

When I said that day was a turning point – I meant it. I didn’t forget about Dean or stopped admiring him from afar. I simply stopped imagining he would finally talk to me or hold my hand.

I knew it would never happen, not with girls like Lisa around. There are always girls like Lisa, or Cassie or whoever got his attention.

I must admit, it pained me I missed my chance to talk to him. My boy next door, the one that got away.

Instead of talking to Dean or get to know him, I watched the boy next door go to prom with Lisa.

And though I'm heart-sore, the boy next door

Affection for me won't display

I just adore him

So I can't ignore him

The boy next door

The last time I saw him was when he moved out, hand tightly wrapped around Lisa’s waist. I never asked about him or where he went. My admiration followed him, just like my heart, but I knew – I must let go of a dream that day.

I just adore him

So I can't ignore him

The boy next door

It’s been ten years since the day I swore to myself to never get close to his house but I can’t keep my mind from wandering toward the boy next door.

“Hey, I heard you are around, Y/N,” a deep voice catches me off guard, and I jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I wonder why this foreign man stands in my parents’ front yard a big smile plastered on his lips. “You don’t look like the guy on the sign.”

“Oh-no!” The man huffs, looking at the sign of my realtor in the front yard. “I don’t think you’ll remember me, but I lived right over there. My name is Dean,” Dean holds out his hand, frowning when I step backward.

“I remember you, Dean,” eyes downcast I sigh deeply. “You moved in when you were ten,” I don’t meet Dean’s gaze when he steps closer, opening his jacket to show me something he hid for almost ten years. “How could I not remember you? I just didn’t think you knew I exist.”

“I found this, two years after that party,” Dean swallows thickly, showing me the book, I bought for him. “Sammy, he said you dropped it. I thought you didn’t like me back then and threw the gift away. Sam, he told me a few days ago what happened.”

“Lisa said you don’t even know I exist, so I went home. I think I dropped the book,” I awkwardly glance at my shoes when Dean opens the book to reveal the card I wrote. I gnaw at my lower lip, hating I dropped the book instead of throwing it into the dumpster.

“Dear Dean,” he clears his throat, stepping closer to me, “I know we never talked, but I wanted to tell you that I admire the way you care for your brother. I must admit, I kinda watched you now and then. I’m a bit shy, but you seem to be a nice guy and I’d like to be your friend. It’s okay if you don’t want to, I’m a nerd to anyone else. I know guys your age don’t want anyone to ruin their reputation. So, if you decide you don’t want to know me, I will be okay with it. I just wanted to give you the book as I like your car.” Dean puts the card back into the book, careful to not lose it.

“I was a shy teen. Sorry for the stupid words,” I shuffle from one foot to the other, hoping the real-estate agent will save me sooner or later. “I didn’t think much of it.” I lie. Truth is, I spend days finding the right words to express my feelings.

“I liked it,” Dean mumbles, stuffing the book back into the pocket in his jacket. “You see, Sammy said you’ll be back in town for a few days. As I never got the chance to thank you for the gift, I thought we can go for a coffee.”

“Listen, it’s kind of you that you want to try to be nice, but we are not in high-school any more,” I meet Dean’s gaze, giving him a cracked smile. “I’m twenty-six now, not a teen. Let’s just stop pretending you ever knew I exist. Go back to your life and throw that card and the book away. It was a gift of a stupid girl.”

“No, no, sweetheart,” when I try to walk into the house Dean runs after me, grasping for my arm. “Y/N, please. I always hoped you would come back to town. I waited for ten years.”

“You moved out after high school, Dean. Why would you want me to come back to town? This doesn’t make sense. If you excuse me now, I must sell my parents house,” I try to escape the awkward situation, but Dean won’t let go of my arm.

“Y/N, I was too shy to talk to you. You always sat under that huge tree behind the school building reading a book. Once or twice I wanted to talk to you, but you looked like you were in your own world.”

“I was, as no one liked me. I spend my days alone as I was shy, awkward, and a bit nerdy. Sam was the only one talking to me when he saw me after school,” I look over Dean’s shoulder, not wanting him to see my tears.

“I didn’t know,” Dean mumbles, dropping the hand holding my arm. “Would go for a coffee with me? I…I want to talk about the book with you. I really would like to spend time with you.”

“Dean,” I glance at the wedding band around his finger, shaking my head. “I don’t think Lisa will appreciate you spend time with the freak she liked to bully. Go back to your life and leave me the fuck alone,” I walk into the house, slamming the door shut. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Sweetheart? Hey, uh-erm, can I come inside? It kinda starts to rain and I want to talk to you,” I let out a frustrated sigh when Dean enters my parent's house. He awkwardly glances around the house, sorting his thoughts. “I’m not married anymore. Just didn’t take the ring off yet.”

“When did you get divorced?” Dean shrugs, looking at the golden band. “Sorry, it’s none of my business, Dean. We don’t even know each other.”

“She died five years, three months and sixteen days ago,” I gasp, stepping closer to Dean to squeeze his hand. “I never found the strength to take it off, Y/N.”

“You don’t have to, Dean,” I give him a soft smile, silently apologizing for my question. “We all grieve differently. My brother and sister want me to sell the house for years, but I just can’t,” now tears run down my cheeks and I sob when Dean wraps his arms around me.

“Why don’t you keep it, sweetheart?” His voice calms my nerves and I relax in his arms. I feel Dean’s hand run up and down my spine whilst he mumbles softly into my hair. “Will you go for a coffee with me? I’ve missed the girl next door.”

“Okay…”

I just adore him

So I can't ignore him

The boy next door

Tags in reblog

Text divider by @writeyourmindaway

#The Boy Next Door #backtothemovieschallenge #angst #readers pov #dean winchester #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester SPN #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean x you

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rjhpandapaws · 4 years ago

Text

When the Music Plays

Prologue 1: Destined for Tragedy

There was a time when many people believed Hank would be destined for greatness. That he would be one of the lucky ones to grab he world by the bootstraps and make his own way. Hank had believed that too for a while. Up until he had gotten a taste of the real world.

They had been right, in a way of course. He would have to make his own way. The real world was not made for the Deaf. He had no place here, he would have to build his own. When he was younger that hadn’t bothered him, his friends had been excited to learn Sign Language, and Hank had been eager to teach them. His elementary school teachers had been kind and incredibly accommodating to him as well as his interpreter. It was his first interaction with pity, though he had been too young to know it at the time.

He was ‘inspirational’. Everyone around him used the word like a compliment; he learned too late that it was a prison. Middle school brought with it hearing aids and the pressure to learn to speak from his teachers, friends, and some of his family members. In a matter of years he had gone from an inspiration to a burden. The token disabled friend. The prize people could use to show how kind they were. He hated it with every ounce of his being.

By the time he got to high school he had moved on from those friends, and from friends in general. He didn’t want to be another token. He wore his Deaf Accent with pride, though he still primarily signed. Speech was for school and situations when it couldn’t be avoided, and those situations only. He was done doing more for others than what was being done for him.

He tried the college thing for a while, but nothing he came across really seemed to stick. Except for Maralyn, they’d hit it off and become fast friends. She was studying Psychology with a minor in Developmental language. She would come to be one of the best things that had ever happened to him. A grounding point of sorts, a soft place to land when the path to self discovery got a little too rough.

She saw him through the police academy and into the ranks of the DPD. Things between them had been great, and Hank wanted to spend the rest of his days with her, so he had proposed. That had marked when things began to stabilize in his life. A kind, intelligent and supportive wife with a potential promotion on the distant horizon. For the first time in his life it felt like he had the world in the palm of his hands.

He had friends he didn’t have to pretend for. He was seen for what he could do, rather than defined by what he couldn’t. The balance he had tried to find while he was growing up finally made itself known to him. He had made his way and seemed to have found his place in the world. Detective work seemed to come naturally to him, even if he needed help with some of the finer points. He wanted to make the world around him a better place, protect those who couldn’t do it themselves.

August of 2029 found him promoted to the rank of Lieutenant. September found him the father of a beautiful bright eyed baby boy. Cole became his world, his driving force. He wanted to make it so Cole grew up in a world where he was safe and loved. A world where he wouldn’t have to fight his way to stability the way Hank had.

For a time he had the world at his feet and the wind at his back. A job that he did well at, even if it was draining at times, and a family that loved him. Cole and Maralyn were is everything he’d ever wanted. He felt unstoppable, so it made sense that everything would start coming apart at the seems after that. He had flown too close to the sun and now it was time to pay for it.

It started slowly. He began spending more time at the station since being a Lieutenant required more work than being a detective. It left Maralyn with Cole most days which was taxing on her. He did his best to juggle work and having a family, but the fights became more frequent, and the good nights were becoming fewer and farther between. They tried for the sake of Cole, but the damage had been done and they were legally separated in May of 2033. Lyn took Cole with her.

Hank coped as he always did, by ducking his head and moving forward with the stubbornness of an ox. It was harder this time, without Lyn in his corner. He still had Cole on the weekends, and those became the moments he clung to. The two days when it was only he and Cole and he was able to shelve his worries of the rest of the world. Just bright blue eyes and the retelling of his adventures. Two days where Hank could just be. He would do his best to make sure Cole thrived.

The divorce was finalized in early 2034. On paper they had joint custody, but Lyn was his primary guardian. Hank would get to have him on alternating Wednesdays and weekends; they would swap holidays and birthdays. It was less time thank Hank would have liked, but with his job it was the best he was going to get.

Cole had been confused and miserable for a while and Hank didn’t know how to explain it anymore than that parents sometimes fell out of love. The weeks he didn’t have Cole until the weekend, he buried himself in work and cheap whiskey. He wanted to be sure he had time for Cole and that there wouldn’t be any interruptions. The whiskey was to help ease the pain of his life slowly slipping away from him. He tallied the good days as the ones he got to spend with Cole, despite not knowing how numbered they were.

The last straw was a night that was supposed to be fun. He had picked Cole up from Lyn’s house and they were heading back to his place for movies and pizza. That had been the plan, a boys night as Hank had called it. What he had gotten instead was the last piece of his world violently ripped away from him. The last string keeping him tethered was cut and he was left to plummet into free fall. A truck had skidded on black ice and Hank had not been quick enough. He didn’t remember all that much between the car rolling over the embankment and waking up in the hospital. A concussion, broken wrist, and bruised ribs; he had been lucky they said.

Cole hadn’t been. There was a lot of internal damage. He had needed emergency surgery. They had not only put his son’s life in the hands of a stranger; but when that stranger hadn’t shown up they had put his life in the hands of an android. Cold unfeeling machinery was tasked with making sure Cole survived.

Hank had been discharged and was in the waiting room with Lyn and Jeff when a human nurse came to them with a distant expression. Hank new before he had a chance to say anything. He turned his hearing aids off and fell to his knees, he didn’t want to hear it. If he did it would be real, and if it was real he didn’t know what he was going to do. Jeff was the voice of reason for the both. He called a cab for Lyn and drove Hank home.

Jeff stayed with him him until the funeral. After that Hank was on injury leave. Jeff intended for it as a way for Hank to find his footing. Hank found the bottom of the bottle instead. Cheap whisky became stronger, and most of his days were spent in a haze with only Sumo. The Saint Bernard had been a birthday gift for Cole. Now he was the only thing that was keeping Hank minimally functional.

His leave had ended and he tried facing the world once again. He would drink after work to forget the horrors of his job and hopefully evade the innocent blue eyes that haunted his dreams. Cole couldn’t reach him in his dreams so he began haunting his waking hours instead. He combatted this by adding whiskey to his coffee.

His friendships started to erode and fall apart. Gavin was the first to go; Hank had trained him from his rookie days so the pull away had stung. Bill had been next to go; they’d known each other since the academy so Hank had crumbled away a little more at that. Jeffery had stuck around, but he was keeping his distance. He had known Hank since high school and had seen Hank through some pretty hard times, but this was a new low for them both. This time Hank had lost his whole world and he didn’t know if he could pull himself back up from this. If he even wanted to.

Time passed him by in a haze, some nights he tempted fate by playing Russian Roulette. Most nights found him at bars like Jimmy’s. Run down enough that he wouldn’t be judged as well as in parts of town were androids were not welcomed. Hank had to deal with them at work now, if he had to see one while he was trying to clear his head he was going to lose it.

One of these days he would learn not to tempt fate.

#When the Music Plays #Listen Close AU #Hankcon #dbh hank x connor #dbh hank #dbh connor #dbh fic #dbh

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yolocorcega · 4 years ago

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I saw YOLOTL CÓRCEGA at a coffee shop in MANHATTAN today. She is a TWENTY-FIVE year old BUSINESSWOMAN who’s been in NYC for [SIX YEARS] now. Every time we run into each other, they are always CULTURED & DEVOTED but I’ve heard people say they can also be STOIC & CALLOUS. THE MAN BY TAYLOR SWIFT reminds me of them every time it comes on the radio. // @villagestart

TW: mentions of cheating, criminal activities, divorce and family separation below.

hello everybody you know me as g aka the mess behind the bigger mess that is alexander warren and i am here to bring you one of my favorite kids ever, my daughter yolo who, of course, is also a mess because i can’t write happy, easy-going characters. let’s get down to it:

HISTORY

CHEATING AND FAMILY SEPARATION TW: Yolotl was born in Tequila, Jalisco on September 15th 1994, the product of an illicit affair between her father, Gabriel Córcega, an important business owner largely known in Mexico and one of his employees. The impromptu news didn’t sit right with Marcela Del Valle, Gabriel’s wife, who immediately ordered her husband to disappear every trace of his affair before anyone in town found out. What no one expected was for Gabriel to already have a kid with the woman no one knew about two years older than Yolotl.

Gabriel, in dispair, gave the woman some savings he had and helped her disappear from Tequila, not without an agreement whatsoever: he’d get to keep one of the kids and raise her.

When Gabriel returned to the house with Yolo in his arms but no trace of his remaining family, Marcela agreed on playing make-belief and tell the world the little girl was the second child of the marriage. The family never spoke of this again.

She and her “legitimate” older brother grew up surrounded by luxury: anything money could buy was granted to them as the Córcega name grew exponentially during Yolotl’s first years of life, the family went from having a sucessful tequila emporium to become a brand: nightclubs, hotels, soccer teams and more. The Córcega marriage decided the best and safest idea for the two kids was to be homeschooled, since the family traveled a lot due to the various businesses around the world Gabriel possessed.

Being only the two siblings most of the time, since their parent’s schedule was quite busy, Yolotl and her older brother became best friends. He became her hero, taught her everything she knew and more, became the getaway to her biggest passion in life: literature. It was a hobby the Córcega siblings shared.

The day of Yolo’s birthday, the Córcegas woke up with the news that Marcela had left the family and had run away to Europe, asking the rest of the family to forget about her

Upon Yolo’s graduation, the Córcega clan moved to New York and she enrolled in Columbia Business School where she got an MBA in Business Administration. She is working on her PhD in Modern and Contemporary Literature.

While in college, Yolo met someone whom she quickly fell in love with and the couple married not even a year after meeting, against all odds and advices from others. The first few years were perfect, Yolotl loved her spouse and playing housewife and was perhaps for the very first time in her life truly happy. During this time, Yolo started writing books she decided to publish as a surname, deciding she wanted people to like what she wrote authentically and not because of the Córcega name. On that, she succeeded, she became a renown author under a surname, a secret she keeps to date.

CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES AND DIVORCE TW: However that happiness didn’t last long (nothing ever does, does it?) Her father started having legal and health problems, her world was beginning to crumble which definitely didn’t help the already tense marriage which ended in a divorce after a little less than five years, leaving her heartbroken and on top of that, her father was in serious trouble with a criminal organization back in Mexico after refusing to keep working with them, something Yolo herself wasn’t aware of. Something else she wasn’t aware of: the leader of the organization was the man Marcela ran away with and was now threatening Yolo’s dad, alas he had to hide and

Another truth that was told to her the day her father finally decided to speak candidly before disappearing was the existence of her real family; the brother she had and her real mother’s existance, which left Yolo brokenhearted.

Before parting ways after finally coming clean about all the lies her father had ever told her and disappearing, Gabriel named Yolo the CEO of the Córcega company.

NOW

Yolo owns one of Manhattan’s most renown hotels and a rooftop bars which she tries to manage herself on top of being the co-CEO of Córcega Onterprices (a position she “shares” with her brother) and trying to deal the mess her parents left behind. She’s… a little stressed™

She’s still on the divorce process and she is having a HARD time dealing it, she views divorce as a failure on her part, even though she doesn’t show it

PERSONALITY

okay so think angelica schuyler meets blair waldorf meets klaus baudelaire meets belle meets angela moss meets fuck up.

workaholic. i’m talking 24/7, work, non-stop. *fucking u and answering e-mails on the side* type of workaholic

big nerd, lowkey tho. she has like two personalities, the work-hard, femme fatale she uses with EVERYONE and then the nerd soccer mom she uses only with people she’s REALLY close to

uses sex and every advantage she has to get what she wants so… totes a dom but likes to be a sub from time to time and has all sorts of kinks lbr i mean what?

CULTURED AF

has a bit of an alcohol problem (i sense a pattern in my muses)

she used to have this bitchy reputation before the whole thing with her family went down and used to take advantage of that but she’s really not a bitch unless… yknow… you mess with her or her family or her friends then lmao gl she’ll ruin you, she’s a bit more human now i promise

a true slytherin, lives by the words ‘work hard, play hard’

TL;DR: lowkey a v sad and lonely rich girl who’s dealt with a lot who can act like a bitch but in reality... is only a bitch if she needs to be. v ambitious, workaholic.

POTENTIAL PLOTS:

older brother: the one person in life she truly trusts in the whol damn universe i mean... probably her best friend ngl (will be a wc on the main)

her husband?: they are in the middle of a divorce, about to finish off their marriage... or are they? guess we’ll never know. he’s been the only person she’s ever truly loved AND I WANNA SEE THAT i’ve never seen her in love i’m sorry

distant family? that could be fun

best friend: every girl needs a best friend they can confide in between champagne glasses and chocolate covered strawberries... she is very loyal to the people she ACTUALLY lets in i promise she’s a great friend

people who work for her: ESPECIALLY AN ASSISTANT OH MY GOD she needs that but ok, she owns a rooftop bar and a hotel so... barkeeps, waiters, chefs, hotel manager... all that jazz. she is also v loyal to the people who work for her ngl she was taught to treat the people who work next to her like family SO

enemies: i know my kid... 90% of the population doesn’t like her so... let’s play into that

fwb, hookups, one-side crushes, exes, friends, neighbors... the sky is the limit!

okay honestly if you read that whole telenovela… i love you and if you read what a mess i’ve created (it’s my true passion in life) and you still wanna plot with her… you’re a goddamn saint and i’m ready to marry you or plot with you so hmu or like this for that. marriage and/or plotting, whatever.

#villageintro #like for plots? :)

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aleksandermorozovaa · 5 years ago

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Over Cookies? - Part 2

Since you all seemed to love the first part, which thank you for the love and support btw (each of your asks meant so much to me! I read them all and my heart melted tysm)! If you want to be tagged in my writing or have any requests please let me know!

Part 1

AO3 Link

Tags:

@commanderbensolo @direnightshade

He’d sat at the top of the stairs for what felt like an eternity before he’d given up and made his way back down stairs, but not before telling Henry he was there when he wanted to talk, that he wasn’t mad, that you weren’t mad. That he wasn’t in trouble.

Charlie suspected there was more going on inside Henry’s head than just burning cookies. He just needed to make sure that Henry knew he was there for him, that he’d listen whenever he was ready to share. None of that helicopter parenting Nicole and her mother insisted on. He knew from experience that the more you hound someone to open up to you the more they turn inward, hide their feelings. So he’d stumbled downstairs, turned off the oven which had still been on.

He’d put his laptop away not long after getting it out, deciding work was pointless when every little noise drew his attention, to the front door and your missing coat and then to the stairs, hoping Henry had come out his room.

But everytime, there was nothing. You were still gone and Henry was still upset. He’d sent you texts, asking you to let him know you were okay, you’d replied quickly reassuring him. He was thankful for that, that you didn’t leave him filled with anxiety.

Eventually he’d heard the tell tale jingle of keys as you slid your key into the lock. You’d often jingle as you walked, with your mass of key chains you had attached to your keys. It was beyond him why you did it, other than making it easier to find your keys in your purse. When he’d asked you you’d rolled your eyes and told him each one held a special memory that you wanted to keep close to you, you’d talked him through each of them, ending on a shard of tigers' eyes. A brown and almost honey gold precious stone.

You’d told him you’d seen it at a street stall and the colour had reminded you of his eyes, the little card next to it explained that tigers' eyes was supposed to make you feel confident, free from anxiety and safe. The exact way he’d made you feel; so you’d bought it and it had quickly become your favourite key chain. Letting you carry his presence around with you no matter how far away he was.

It was the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. That had been the first time he’d told you he loved you and not a day had gone by since where he hadn’t repeated those words.

The door clicked shut, he watched you shrug your coat off, in your hands was a little paper bag and the tray filled with three coffee cups from the independent coffee shop a few blocks away, you claimed they made the best coffee in the entire world, he hadn’t bothered to argue with you about it.

He shot from his chair and moved over to you, taking the tray from your hands so you could slip your arm from your coat and hang it. You smiled up at him, thankful for the help.

“How is he?” You ask with a small frown. Your concern for Henry always blew him away. The way you knew and understood that Henry came first in his life, that Henry's well being and happiness was his propriety.

It was a relief honestly he'd heard stories from other single fathers in his directors social circles. About the women they dated post divorce, they were clingy and easily jealous of anyone else in their lives. Charlie thought they made these poor women out to be like cats or children not girlfriends. Either way he’d been relieved when you were anything but. He was the one that had become clingy, wanting to spend as much time with you as possible wanting to fill the loneliness in his heart and the emptiness in his home. He wanted to surround himself with only you.

"He's not speaking to me. He won't even unlock the door to let me in." Charlie sighed and opened his arms slightly hoping you would take the invitation to let him hold you.

You did, moving forward and wrapping your arms tight around his middle, your cheek pressing into his chest, the hand not holding the drinks tray wrapped around you in return. You smelt of cold crisp air and the perfume he'd gotten you for your birthday a few months ago. He could never really pick up what the notes were, it wasn't exactly his area of expertise. But it was a scent he'd never forget, he'd come to think of it as home.

“Can I go up?” You ask, pulling out of his embrace. Charlie nodded, he wasn’t sure Henry would open up to you but if you wanted to try he wouldn’t stop you.

“I got you coffee.” You said gesturing to the cup tray in his hands. “Oatmilk just like you like.”

“Thank you.” Coffee always helps to calm him down, there was something about holding a hot cup that brought comfort and peace. You take the smallest cup from the carrier, he notices a tiny cartoon drawn on the side, he wonders briefly if you did that or if you asked the barista to, but then the unmistakable lines of your handwriting catch his eye.

You lean up to kiss his cheek before making your way up the stairs. Charlie hangs about at the bottom, resting his hands on the banister and his chin on top.

“Henry.” You say softly, you don’t knock like he had. “I know you’re upset with me right now.”

You pause as if expecting Henry to tell you to go away, Charlie expects it too but Henry stays silent.

“I’m not going to ask you to speak to me or anything like that, but I got you a hot chocolate. And one of those little tomato and mozzarella pastries you like. I even asked them to take the basil off. I’ll leave them outside your door for you okay?” You came back downstairs after that, back to Charlie’s waiting arms.

Sleep struggled to claim him that night. He’d tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. He knew he was keeping you up with it so he’d gone back downstairs to get a glass of water. Hopefully giving you time to get to sleep without his restlessness. He’d stopped outside Henry’s room to pick up the empty paper food bag. The cup was probably sitting on his desk half cold. He’d picked up his mother’s annoying habit of not finishing drinks. But that's okay. At least he’d eaten.

He’d spent some time sitting at the breakfast counter in the kitchen, after putting the cookies in the fridge with the leftover dough. He’d of course eaten two of them, unable to stop himself they’d crumbled in his mouth, they’d tasted a little over cooked but it didn’t ruin how nice they were.

He’d made some notes in his notebook and then ended up doodling instead so he’d refilled his glass of water and carried it back upstairs.

"I don't hate you Y/N,"

"I know." The conversation caught his ears as he reached the top of the stairs causing him to stop in his tracks. The door to Henry's room was wide open as well as the door to tour shared room. You'd turned the bedside lamp on, the light gently illuminating the room and the landing.

"You're nice and kind and you tell the funniest jokes." Charlie smiled at that, you had a little joke book stores away sometimes the week leading up to Henry's visits; he'd find you sitting highlighting jokes or writing them down from the internet. Every morning when Henry came down for breakfast you'd tell him and he always loved them.

"But what if I'm like the cookies."

"What do you mean bug?" you'd called Henry bug since the first day you'd met him. The first thing Henry had done was show you the tiny ladybird that had landed on his hand. Together you'd counted the spots and told each other facts about ladybirds. Henry's were all simple little things he'd learnt in school but you'd always act like it was the most exciting thing.

"You said that we could just make some more because they're not perfect. What if you do that to me? What if you replace me?"

Charlie's heart was in this throat, tears pricking his eyes. Finally understanding the cause of all this. He stepped into the bedroom placing his glass of water and the dresser and then climbing into bed, sandwiching Henry in.

He saw how that Henry was pressed right up against, your arms wrapped around him. you his eyes rimmed red. He'd been crying.

"We'd never ever replace you bug. Ever.”

“Zola’s dad had another baby and she never sees him anymore.” Charlie reached out to his son then stroking his hair. He thought that he was replaceable? That’s where this had all come from.

“That’s never going to happen.” Charlie said, holding back the sob in his throat. “Henry I’d never ever not love you.”

“Really? Henry turns to face him, the tears now visible on his cheek. “Even if you had another baby? One that was better than me?”

“Nothing could be better than you bug.” You say with a smile.

“Even if me and Y/N did have a baby,” Charlie pauses then to look at you, neither of you had ever really mentioned children yet, he had thought about it, what you’d look like pregnant. How much of a good mother you would be. He knew it was something he wanted eventually, but not yet. He could tell just by the soft encouraging smile on your face, that this was something you’d considered too. In any other situation he’d have celebrated, been so happy that you were committed to him enough to think about children. But it wasn’t the time.

“You would be just as important, I’d never leave you Henry. I need you to know that. I love you more than anything.”

Henry nodded and moved closer so that he was wrapped in Charlie’s. You shuffled closer as well your arm coming to rest over Henry and rest on Charlie’s waist.

“Dad?”

Charlie hummed.

“I love you.” a pause. “I love you too Y/N.” To his knowledge that was the time he’d said he loved you. Your eyes were closed but he saw the grin spread across your lips.

“And we you bug. Now get some sleep, we’ve got a long day of cookie decorating tomorrow.”

Charlie wasn't a fan of co sleeping. But tonight, just this once it was okay.

#charle barber x reader #charlie barber x you #charlie barber #my writing #wife me charlie barber YOU FUCKING BEAST #Love of my life #adam driver #shatter my knees you fuckable redwood

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s-horne · 5 years ago

Note

If you’re doing those dialogue prompts, maybe 8 or 10? Can’t decide which one so I’ll let you decide

from this list (pls don’t regret sending this. it’s angsty and sad and starts with the word ‘divorce’, but it ends on a happy note, I promise!)

Divorce had always been a scary word to Tony.

As a child, it had meant that his parents weren’t going to live together anymore, that his dad was going away and he wouldn’t see him much. It meant arguments and screamed accusations, tears and slammed doors. It had been a nightmare.

As an adult, it was hell.

Divorce as an adult meant no more Steve. It meant that Tony had been such a shit husband that he had driven away the only man that had ever truly loved him. It would mean cold days, sleepless nights, quiet and empty rooms.

Who would twirl Tony round in the kitchen whilst waiting for the kettle to boil? Who would drag him away from work and force him to eat and sleep?

It would mean being alone.

The meeting was dragging on. And on. And on.

Tony had stopped listening long ago, almost right at the beginning. He’d made up his mind as soon as Steve had presented him with papers. He would give Steve everything. Tony wasn’t going to fight. Steve could have it all. Without question.

The only thing Tony wanted was his ring. Both, if Steve would give his up. Which, Tony reasoned, he probably would, what with him having initiated the whole divorce thing.

“Mr Stark?”

Tony flinched at the sharp words from one of the lawyers in the room. Right. He was going to be a Stark again. No Rogers, not anymore. He cleared his throat. “Yes?”

“Are you okay, Sir? You haven’t said much.”

Of course he hadn’t. Tony wet his lips, trying to muster up his usual bravado. “Nothing much to say,” he said, tone falling a little flat. “Sounds like it’s all been decided.”

“We still need to–”

Tony stood up, pushing his chair away from the table with a hideous screech across the tiled floor. “Nope. Cover everything off on your own. Steve can have it all.” He turned to his lawyer, trying his hardest to ignore the way his voice had cracked on his husband’s name. Ex-husband’s name. “I’m going to find a decent cup of coffee. Call me when it’s done.”

He didn’t find a decent cup of coffee. He found a mediocre takeaway cup of tea, lukewarm and far too milky, but it gave him something to focus on as he sat in the reception area of the office building and tried to resist the urge to run.

Every time he blinked, all Tony could see was the way Steve’s hand looked without the shining silver ring Tony had put there. That and the expression on Steve’s face as Tony had stormed out of the meeting room, turning back for a split second and forgetting to school his features back into his usual mask of indifference.

“Hi.”

Tony startled so hard that he nearly fell off his chair. He looked up and swallowed. Though his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest, Tony did his best to keep it from his face. It didn’t matter, of course, because if there was one person in the world that could read Tony, it was Steve.

“Hi.” Tony took a sip of his tea and nearly gagged. Cold, cold, cold. “Meeting over?”

“Yeah.” Steve sat down next to Tony. “For now. There’s – we need to reschedule. You need to–”

“Just sign it,” Tony cut in quickly, harshly. “I’m not having another meeting.”

“Tony–”

“No.” It was a snap and Tony took a breath, trying to calm down. “Fuck, Steve, I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this so I’m not sitting in a meeting listening to you divide our entire life and tear my house apart. Just take whatever you want and sign it away.”

Forget the calm. Tony threw his cup away, drops of tea splashing back onto his hand and adding to his bad mood, and stormed towards the door. Forget the debrief with his lawyer and forget going back into that stupid fucking room and having to look at Steve’s damn hand without a ring on it for one more minute.

“I thought you wanted it.”

If anyone would ever ask why Tony shot out of his skin and spilt his coffee all over his hand, then Tony would have blamed the fact that he hadn’t slept in weeks. Not since Steve had presented him with papers and walked out of their house. Everything made him jump when he was alive because of caffeine alone.

“Then you never knew me at all,” Tony answered, reaching for a napkin and swiping angrily at his burnt hand. “Where are–”

“Outside.” Steve pulled out the chair on the other side of the table to Tony. “I asked them to give us a moment. I wanted to talk.”

Tony pushed his mug away from him, not trusting his shaking hands with a cup of hot coffee. He’d been in a bad mood since his lawyer had called yet another meeting between Steve and Tony and scheduled it for 9am. “Want to take even more from me? My bank account and heart not enough for you?”

Steve sighed and Tony hated the way that it made him feel. He no longer had the rights to cross the room and soothe Steve’s tense shoulders with soft touches and a gentle kiss. “I – you pulled away. You stopped coming to bed, stopped talking to me. What was I supposed to think?”

“You were supposed to think that you could talk to me!” Tony couldn’t hold it in anymore and he stood up, kicking his chair away and clenching his fists. “How long have we been married, Steve? And you suddenly thought–”

“You’ve never done this–”

“–we talk, Steve! That’s what we do–”

“–I wanted to speak about–”

“–you left me.”

Steve fell silent. Tony’s chest heaved.

“You left me, Steve. You did the one thing you promised me that you never would. You walked out and I had nothing.”

There was a long quiet, nothing in the room but the two of them breathing heavily. They didn’t look away from each other.

“I thought you’d left me already,” Steve said finally. “It’s not an excuse, and I know that, but I – that’s it. I thought you were gone and didn’t want to tell me. I’d lost you and I didn’t know why. I gave you an out.”

“You gave yourself an out,” Tony answered quietly, bracketing his arms on the back of his chair and falling forward. He shook his head harshly, standing up and crossing the room towards the door.

“I’m sorry.”

The laugh that left Tony hurt his chest. It was bitter, self-deprecating. Not even slightly real. “Do you mean that, or are you just saying it because you think it’s what I want to hear?”

The silence answered Tony’s question better than any words ever could.

“Right. I’m going to get the lawyers in here. I want to get this over and done with.”

“Tony–”

“No.” Tony didn’t turn around, hand already on the door handle. “This was a bad idea. Anything else we say will be on record and with a lawyer present.”

////

“Do you love me?”

Tony kept his eyes on the wall in front of him. There’d been a picture of their wedding day there until about four days ago. He was going to have to redecorate if he wasn’t going to put anything else up; there was a horrible faded mark in the paint.

It felt strange to have Steve back in their house, back where it had all started. He looked far too uncomfortable in his own house, but he was there. He was there with the couch where Tony had started to sleep more and more, the fireplace that they’d curled up in front of at the start of their relationship, and the radio that had started to fill the air more than their conversations towards the end.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Tony said darkly. What sort of a question was that anyway? Of course he loved Steve.

Tony wanted to scream out his answer, to yell and to cry and to get down on his knees. Of course he still loved his husband. Without Steve, he had nothing. He was nothing. They were a team, weren’t they? There wasn’t one without the other.

“This wasn’t my idea, after all.”

“Of course I love you.”

It was as though the world stopped turning with Steve’s hushed words. The entire room shrank down, white noise rushing in Tony’s ears. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting Steve to say, but it hadn’t been that.

“I never stopped loving you, Tony. I will never stop loving you. None of this was ever about that, I swear. It was – I don’t know what it was. I wanted you to have the freedom, wanted you to be able to–”

“Yes.”

Steve stopped talking when Tony cut across him. God, when had they gotten so bad at communication? What had broken between them, or when?

It felt as though they’d been living separate lives, each heading down paths that took them away from each other instead of them walking side by side.

“Yes, I love you, you damned idiot.” Tony sniffed, eyes focused on the stupid mark on the wall. “I didn’t want you to go. Never.”

“Then why – why did you make me think…”

Tony let out a watery chuckle, closing his eyes and sinking into the armchair. What a fucking mess. “I don’t know why I pulled away.”

It would have been easy to lie, to pin the blame on Steve and laugh the whole thing off. But a lie wouldn’t put Steve’s ring back on his finger. “We took on new clients and I had to focus on keeping the transitions running smoothly. I was stressed with that and your promotion made you tired. The whole adoption–”

Tony cut himself off with a sharp inhale and threw his head back. “Well. You were there when it fell through. I guess I thought me staying in the office longer and longer was making things easier. Stopping us from snapping at each other at home.”

“Except you were never at home,” Steve said, voice soft but not exactly gentle. “I’d sit up and wait for you only to find a message from whatever assistant you had that week telling me that you’d booked another meeting and I wouldn’t be seeing you until the next day. It felt like a message of its own, in the end.”

Tony wanted to protest and to say that it hadn’t been, but the truth was that he didn’t know if he could. It might well have been. His subconscious might have noticed the wedge between them long before he ever did, his self-preservation kicking in to stop his heart from crumbling right in front of him.

“I’m home now,” he said instead. It didn’t seem like much, but it was all he had left. It had to work. Because it was true. “If you want me to be.”

“Of course I do. I thought you wanted this.”

“Never.”

There wasn’t much else that Tony could think of to say. There were no doubt a hundred things that he needed to say and a thousand more that he needed go hear, but his mind had gone blank. There was only one that he needed to get out and one thing that he wanted in return.

“I didn’t either,” Steve said into the room and Tony felt his eyes on the side of his head. “I only want you. And you to want me.”

“So,” Tony started, biting the bullet and reaching out. He finally looked over at Steve, knowing in his heart exactly what he wanted. “Are you going to tell those lawyers to fuck off because you’re coming home, or should I?”

#i wrote a thing #stony fic #stony fic rec #stony au #stevetony fic #stevetony fic rec #stony ficlet #steve rogers #tony stark #stony angst #stony fluff #angst with a hopeful ending #stevetony ficlet #anon prompt

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sneakronicity · 5 years ago

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Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne Characters: Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Scott Lang, Hope Van Dyne, Wanda Maximoff, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Hank Pym, Janet Van Dyne, Luis (Ant-Man movies), L*ura B*rton (but only briefly promise) Additional Tags: Post-Canon Fix-It, Fix-It, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Divorced Clint Barton Summary:

A few weeks after the snap is reversed, Clint is struggling to fit back into his old life. He's not the same person he was five years ago, and he can't just go back to how things were, so he makes a drastic change and tries to find new purpose in a world without Natasha.

But what if he doesn't have to? What if there's a way to get her back?

Post Endgame fix-it fic

~~~~~

The cafe was quiet, with only a few scattered tables occupied by people who looked like they had chosen it for that very reason. Clint certainly had. It had just reopened after five years of sitting vacant, and had yet to regain all its capabilities let alone its clientele.

How many businesses were there out there just like this one? Stuck in the past and trying to pick up where they left off when the world moved on without them? How many would fail? How many had been repurposed while the owners were blipped? Everyone was back now, but adjusting to this might be even harder than it had been to adjust to them being gone. Some people had never moved on and had welcomed the return, but what of the people who had? Past and present colliding couldn’t be easy to deal with, and even those in the former group like Clint had found picking up again impossible.

Staring thoughtfully out the window, he saw Wanda crossing the street toward the cafe, the sun gleaming on her hair making it glow like fire, and for a moment another redhead was brought to mind. The shade is all wrong, he thought, ignoring the pain in his heart and rising to his feet to greet her as she approached.

“Clint, it’s good to see you,” she said, wrapping her arms around him. He noted how her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and how the hug felt almost absent, like part of a routine with no feeling behind it.

“Sorry, it's been a while,” he apologized. He had called her when he’d moved to the city, told her what had happened, but this was the first time he’d seen her since Tony’s funeral. Taking his seat again, he surveyed her quickly as she ordered her coffee, then asked for a refill himself. She looked thinner, sharper, like her features had been carved from stone. “You look good,” he said anyway.

This time when she smiled it was slightly more genuine, like she was still in there somewhere, just sleeping. “So do you,” she replied, knowing full well he was lying so doing the same in return. “Tired of the mohawk?”

Clint chuckled self consciously, rubbing the side of his head where they hair had grown back in. “Yeah, well… it’s a pain to keep up.” The waitress arrived with their coffee and they took a moment to just try to relax in each other’s company. It was slightly easier now that the ice was broken. “How have you been?” He asked eventually. He knew it was a stupid question, obviously she wasn’t doing well, but it was what one asked after not seeing each other for some time. Or any time really, Standard small talk.

She seemed to take his question more seriously though, and contemplated it longer than he expected. “Every once in a while I have a moment where I think maybe I will get through this and move on again, but it always fades,” she replied, eyes fixed somewhere outside the large window.

Wanda was so young, but had lost so much in so few years. Her parents, her brother, her lover, her friend. It was too much for one person, and it wasn’t fair that she had to go through this. She has nothing and you have everything, yet you throw it all away. He hated the thought, the guilt. Would he ever be able to be around most of his friends again without this nagging guilt? When Wanda had lost Pietro it had almost tore her apart, but she had been so strong, had turned her pain into good instead of letting the darkness consume her like he had. She was the one who deserved her loved ones back, who deserved to be happy, to live with more than just regret and loss.

When Clint looked up at her again he found her studying him with a piercing gaze, like she could see deep down into his soul, see the ugliness, the rot that was eating him up from the inside.

He looked away.

“The offer still stands. If you wanna come back to the Avengers, we could use the help getting everything back up and running smoothly again,” he said, clearing his throat. What if she secretly hated him? If she resented him for getting his family back while hers was gone forever? But not Natasha; Natasha they had both lost.

“I appreciate it,” Wanda replied evenly, her voice not cold, but not warm either. “But I need to be on my own right now.” She paused for a long moment, and when she continued it was with the first hint of emotion in her voice, “I might travel for a few weeks. There are too many memories… maybe going somewhere I have not been will help.”

Clint got that. Despite what he was doing for the Avengers, his words to Rhodey about helping, he had yet to set foot back on the destroyed base. He wasn’t quite ready to face that yet, but he would have to soon. “I could go with you… if you wanted,” he said quietly, more a plea than an offer.

The wall she had built up between them seemed to crumble then, even if only a little, and she reached across the table and took his hand. “You are needed here,” she said, a faint but affectionate smile on her lips, “But I appreciate the offer.”

Laying his free hand over hers, Clint squeezed it gently. He wasn’t so sure he was needed anywhere, maybe he never had been, but he didn’t voice this. He had lost Natasha, but Wanda had lost pretty much everyone. Everyone except for him. And it was so easy to forget that while it had been over five years for him, for Wanda it had been only weeks since Vision’s death. “Just know the offer is always there. Whenever you need me, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Clint,” she said softly, her eyes slightly wet. Maybe she was a bit distant, a bit cut off from her emotions, but he knew Wanda was still in there, he just had to coax her out. And he had meant his words, he would be there for her no matter what. “I do not know how I would have gotten through losing Pietro without you, or the others. We must stick together, yes?”

“Yes,” he replied without hesitation. When Pietro had died she had had an army to rally around her, but now who was left? He and Sam were probably the only ones she had spent any amount of time with left, unless she wanted to go hang out at the old folks home or wherever it was that Steve had taken up residence. He had essentially abandoned her, abandoned all of them, but Clint wasn’t quite ready to work through his feelings on that whole issue yet.

“Then you know I am here for you as well,” Wanda continued. Clint nodded, figuring that was acknowledgement enough, but she wasn’t finished. “She would be proud of you.”

The words were supposed to be comforting, but they hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, knocking all the air from his lungs. How could she be proud? Natasha had given her life for him so he could get his family back, and he was throwing that second chance away. The cost had been too great.

Wanda could clearly read his thoughts written all over his face and squeezed his hand harder. “Above all else she would want you to be happy, and would be proud of you for taking the needed steps. And trying to fill her shoes on the team as you are doing.”

Clint chuckled a little bitterly and shook his head. “No one can fill her shoes, least of all me.” For five years it had come down to Natasha. The rest of her original team had left her holding the ball, but she never once dropped it. She kept everything going, proved to be the leader he had always known she could be. She deserved to be here now, the official leader of the new wave of Avengers. Clint was a poor substitute in her wake. “But I have to try. Everything she worked for… I have to keep it together. For her.”

“It is why we keep going,” Wanda agreed. “For all of those we have lost.”

Clint studied her for a long moment before smirking half heartedly. “How’d you get so wise? I’m the old guy here, you’re making me look bad.”

Her smile in return was soft and real, like the one he remembered from all those years ago. “You do not need me for that.”

A joke? An actual joke? Despite trying to look wounded, Clint couldn’t help but grin back. He hadn’t just been mourning his family those five years, but Wanda too. Her brother had given his life to save Clint, and there was nothing he could ever do to make it up to her, but he had adopted her into his heart, made her an honorary part of his family, even if he never voiced it. She was so strong, so resilient, but he worried. How much was too much? Everyone had a breaking point, he was a walking example of that. But if she could still joke around he had to believe she hadn’t reached hers yet. She resembled Natasha in that manner. “Ohhhh, I see how it is. Kick me while I’m down. I get it.”

“You make such an easy target,” she replied, and for a moment it was just like old times. Wanda wasn’t much for joking around, she was one of the more stoic members of the team, but Clint seemed to bring out her playful side more than the others. He took pride in that, same as how he had always prided himself in being the one who could make Natasha laugh. Not a polite chuckle, or something soft and breathy, but a full on belly laugh. It had been beautiful, and rare, and he didn’t know another person who could accomplish it. Had been able to accomplish it. Damn it.

“Well if I’m expected to take a beating right now, I might as well risk trying the pancakes here as well. Not sure they’re back up to snuff yet,” Clint said, signalling the waitress. “You in?” Maybe he’d even throw in a side of bacon. It would be the first solid meal he’d had in weeks, and if he ended up with food poisoning it would just be his luck, honestly.

“Why not.”

If only it could always be like this. If only they could forget all the loss and pain and heartache and just enjoy the day, and each other’s company. Talk about banal subjects like the weather, or some stupid tv show. If only the world, or the universe in this case, were a kinder place. No crazies with god complexes trying to rule it or ruin it. Just peace, and happiness, with everyone they loved around to share it.

If only.

#Clint Barton #Wanda Maximoff #Clintasha #My ficlets #Endgame fix-it fic #my browser is having issues #Ao3 wouldn't share properly to tumblr #so did my own thing #hopefully this works

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beabea-ff · 5 years ago

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TOW Chandler’s Infertility - Part One

Words: 1.4k Pairing: Chandler Bing x Monica Geller Warnings: Could be kind of angsty

Summary: What if it was only Chandler who had fertility issues?

Masterlist (mobile version)

The last month had been a nightmare for Chandler, probably as bad as that infamous Thanksgiving when his parents told him they were divorcing. He and Monica had been trying to have a baby since they had gotten married, but after a year of negative pregnancy tests they had decided to have a check up. They had gone to a fertility clinic and had received the results a month ago. Chandler clearly remembers the moment he got that damn call from Doctor Connelly.

He was reading a magazine while on the sofa — waiting for Monica to come back from the laundry room — when the phone rang. He jumped up and quickly answered it. “Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly” he said, smiling. They had been waiting for this call and he couldn’t wait for the results of the tests. He wasn’t to happy having to ‘do it in a cup’, as he had told Monica, but he knew that the test would ease her nerves and make sure there were no problems. So he swallowed his complainers and did what he was told. “No, she’s not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this?” his smile faded as he heard the answer, “Oh. Well, so what does that mean?” In that moment his world crumbled. He didn’t know what to think or feel, didn’t know how to continue the conversation on the phone. He just wanted it to be a stupid joke, but it wasn’t. “Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks.” was all he managed to say before hanging up.

Chandler put down the phone and took a big breath, trying to compose himself. Great job, Chandler. You managed to screw up once again in your life! Way to go. He thought as he processed Doctor Connelly’s news. Maybe he was too damaged from his childhood and his parents’ separation and this was the world’s way of telling him he would never be a good father, that’s why he couldn’t have children. As much as he wanted to, at the moment he didn’t have the luxury to dwell in self pity because Monica was going to be back soon and he needed to figure out a way to tell her. He needed to break the news that, because of him, her childhood dream would never come true. They would never have a child together. How was he supposed to you break such news? How was he supposed to begin? Chandler knew he couldn’t make jokes, it wasn’t appropriate and it would just frustrate her, but he also knew it was a defense mechanism he had always used and was nowadays part of him. He just needed to keep it simple, straightforward, because no matter how he put this, he knew it would break her heart.

Chandler was deep in thought when Monica walked in and didn’t notice her until she greeted him with a smile and a “Hey sweetie.” He took a deep breath and blurt out “Doctor Connelly just called”, but couldn’t force himself to say anything else. He needed to collect his thoughts and try to sound coherent, he had to be able to explain to her what the matter was. He just wasn’t sure he could do this. “With good news?” Monica very quickly asked while wringing her hands, “Of course it is not good news, you just said ‘Doctor Connelly just called.’ If it was good news you would have said ‘Doctor Connelly just called!’ But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?” Chandler felt a knot form in his throat, blocking the words from coming out. “It’s me” he basically whispered. “What?” was all Monica could say at the moment. She either wasn’t sure she had heard correctly or she didn’t want to believe it. “Apparently my sperm have low motility“ Chandler clarified. He knew he ought to explain more, but he just couldn’t. In that moment he didn’t feel strong enough and all he wanted to do was to crawl in bed and forget everything or to wake up and realize it was all a bad dream, but the rational part of his brain knew it wasn’t possible because that was his reality now. “Oh… what does that mean?” Monica too didn’t really know how to react. She hoped Chandler was joking, as he alway did, but deep down she knew he would never do something like that; the matter was too delicate to make fun of it and Chandler knew it would hurt her. And she knew he loved her too much to risk it. “It means that my guys won’t get off their barcaloungers. It means…” he was trying and failing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but Monica’s pained “Chandler?” made him collect himself. After he heard the pain in her voice he became serious and said “It means that we can keep trying, but there’s a good chance this may never happen for us.” After those words left his mouth, Monica started weeping and it broke Chandler’s heart. “I’m sorry” was all he could say before hugging her. And they stayed like that for what felt like hours, trying to comfort each other.

After that night everything had gotten a turn for the worst, and now Monica could barely look at him. He knew she needed time to cope with the information, but he couldn’t help the pain he felt in his heart every time she shied away from him. She was distancing herself from him, had started avoiding touching him in any possible way, and that hurt him. A lot. He missed those little moments that helped him go through the tough days and brightened the good ones even more. He missed simply sitting on the oversized chair in their apartment, cuddling while their friends hanged around and talked about their day. He missed their passionate good morning and goodnight kisses that had now become more like pecks on the lips, but he couldn’t do anything. It was his fault they couldn’t have children. With him she couldn’t make her dream come true. Him and his bloody Bing genes.

He couldn’t live like this. He knew she deserved better. She deserved a real man and not his impotent self. No matter how many times his friends told him that it wasn’t his fault, that he couldn’t change how he was born, he knew he had to do something. No matter how much it pained him, he had to solve the problem and he saw only one way to do it. That was the reason why he forced himself to talk to her and why he was home early from work, anxiously waiting for Monica to come back from her grocery shopping.

“Hey, Mon!” Chandler said, standing up from the sofa. “Chandler! What are you doing home early?” Monica asked surprised. “Okay, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, I know it’s been hard for both of us lately, but I think we need to talk. And I ask you to listen to me, because what I have to say is already hard. I just want to get it over with.” He said and simply received a nod in reply. “The day I asked you to marry me, I promised I’d try to make you as happy as you make me feel. And I’ve tried as best as I could, but it’s obvious I won’t ever be good enough. You’ve always wanted to have a baby and I can’t give you one. It kills me to know you’ll never be fully happy with me, and I know it’s killing you too. You’ve been keeping a distance lately and I understand. I don’t blame you at all, after all I’m the broken one, I’m the failure. I’m not man enough to be able to give you what you always dreamed. I’ve been thinking a lot this past weeks, and I think … I-I just …” His eyes felt like they were burning, tears were threatening to come down. “God … I won’t blame you if you want to get a divorce. I-I won’t fight it and I’ll support you, whatever your choice will be. I love you so much and I can’t stand seeing you so broken knowing it’s all my fault.” It took all his strength not to cry and he didn’t look at Monica in the eyes, because he knew that if he did it would break him. After all, she was the best thing that had ever happened in his life and giving her the chance to walk away was, at the same time, the right thing to do and too painful to watch.

A/N: It’s been a while since I wrote a fanfic, and this came from an idea I had a month or so ago. Please let me know what you think about it. (I also posted it on my ao3)

Part Two will be up soon

#chandler bing #monica geller #friends #f.r.i.e.n.d.s #chandler bing x monica geller #chandler x monica #mondler #friends fanfic #f.r.i.e.n.d.s fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction

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looselucy · 7 years ago

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January

“The Tuesday lecture didn’t feel right without you.” Ed spoke quietly. Wednesday, 2pm. We had been to our lecture, and we were now sat in a coffee shop in the centre of town. I hadn’t cried for around 24 hours, which was good. I was doing pretty well, but I definitely wasn’t the life or soul of any party.

I had told Ed what happened when I first got to the lecture. Unlike a lot of cases, I wasn’t hiding what had happened with my parents, from anyone. It was so obvious that I was upset, it just made sense for me to tell people why. I didn’t have anything to hide. It felt better to just say it. The whole thing was horrible, I didn’t also want to make it a weight on my shoulders. “Good.” I chuckled, blowing my coffee. “I knew you would be lost without me.” “I was.” He grinned and laughed. “I’ve got another gig coming up. You gunna come?” “Of course.” I could see he had been trying to make the conversation as light-hearted as he could, but the dark cloud of what I had told him was looming, and he couldn’t ignore it anymore. “Are you okay?” He asked. “I just feel a bit weird.” I said honestly. “A bit... empty, if that makes sense.” “Yeah, it does.” He took a sip. “My mum text me last night, after the phone-call, telling me about how sorry she is and how they’re going to get a divorce. Apparently, my dad has been seeing this other woman for like, two years. She lives like three streets away or something, my mum knows her. It’s just so weird. I thought they had like… the best relationship ever. I just feel so bad for her. My dad hasn’t even text me or anything either. I’m just... I’m really confused.” It felt good talking about it so honestly. The day before when I was with Zayn, I just kept choking up. I had eased a bit, and I was finally saying everything that had been running through my head. I was grateful that the day before when everything went down, Zayn didn’t have a lecture, even though I knew if he did have a lecture he wouldn’t have gone. He stayed by my side all day and made countless cups of tea. I loved him dearly for it. I knew Ed was struggling with what to say back to me, but bless him, he was trying. “Families are fucked up.” He concluded. I thought about Harry, straight away. I thought about all his comments about families being that way, and how mad I had got whenever he said it. Now I agreed. It was such a sharp turn. “They are.” I sighed. “I’m sorry you’re going through this.” He said after another sip. “I find it weird, y’know? I feel like, with divorces and stuff, if it doesn’t happen when you’re really young like, it’s not going to happen. Know what I mean? I forget it actually happens to people our age. It’s surreal.” I downed the remainder of my coffee, which had still been piping hot, and it was incredibly strong, but it felt like I had been running on coffee over the day, when it was never usually my drink of choice. “I never asked you.” I gulped. “What’s your family like?” “As fucked up as the rest.” He sniffed. “Go on.” “I live with my dad. I don’t even remember the last time I saw my mum. She ran off with some guy when I was umm... seven, I think. Rarely see her. She’ll send me texts every few months like, telling me about her life. Like that makes up for anything. She’s a complete bitch. I don’t even want to see her.” “Do you think this stuff mentally fucks people up for the rest of their lives?” I asked worriedly. “Course it does.” He confirmed my thoughts. “But it happens to ninety nine percent of the world, so you’ll just be like everyone else. Don’t worry.” I laughed a little and nodded along, because in a way, he was right. This was just going to make me more normal, in a weird way. This being sad, being confused, it would pass, and I could be just like everyone else. The thought of that made me need another coffee. “I’m never gunna put my kids through that.” I told him confidently. “When I get married and have kids, that’s it. I know it. I’m gunna be happy and they’re gunna be happy. That’s all I need. I can do that. I can.” “If anyone can, it’s you.” That was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me. My bottom lip quivered, a mixture of being flattered and sad, and I was so overwhelmed by everything I almost burst into tears right there and then. The only thing that stopped me from breaking down, once again, was the look of terror on Ed’s face. H was definitely one of those people who couldn’t deal with people crying. I figured that was one of the reasons I met him that day. I was trying to make that fact subconsciously hold me together. It was working. I noticed him panicking and I rapidly washed air over my face using my hand to fan myself, gulping hard and pulling myself together. “Fuck this.” My voice was shaking. “God, I need to pull myself together.” “You should be sad, Pip. It would be weird if you weren’t.” “No, I know. But I can’t just keep crying. Because in a month I’ll be like, urgh, remember that stage when I couldn’t stop crying? So rather than that, I need to just be strong. I can be strong through this. I’m nearly nineteen for crying out loud. I don’t want to cry all the time.” Ed just stared at me for a while like he was trying to figure me out. I just wanted to be strong. I wanted to change. I had always been so dramatic and overemotional, and it had taken my mum telling me my dad was a cheating bastard to realise I needed to change. I wanted to change. I didn’t want to crumble and cry myself to sleep over it every night, which was what I felt like doing, but I couldn’t be that way. I wanted this to be that substantial life event that made me change and be a bigger, better person, not a weaker one. I couldn’t even believe that was the way I was thinking about things. “You’re already being stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for.” Ed told me after finishing his drink. “Just don’t feel bad about crying. It’s a good thing.” “I guess.” “You’ll be good. You’ll be fine.” “I hope my mums okay.” I mumbled more to myself. “She’ll be fine too.” He promised. “I need to speak to Liam.” “Isn’t there any way you can get in touch with him?” “Well he’s had this rubbish little phone that he’s used for texting, but I tried to ring it the other day and it wouldn’t connect. He’s probably lost it. He always used to ring me from phones in hotels and hostels and stuff. He’s not easy to track down.” Like a flash of lightning, something clicked in my head. “Oh god. I think he already knows!” Ed looked as confused as I felt, but all I could think about was my phone-call with Liam the day before my mum rang, and of course he bloody knew. “What?” “I spoke with him, he said about mum being sad. Shit. I think that’s why he’s coming home!” She must have told him, and I could have put money of the fact he didn’t have the heart to tell me, or my mum had asked him to keep it quiet until she told me herself. That was the real reason he was coming home. It had to be. That made me even sadder. Liam had such a golden heart, because it was more than likely that he wanted to continue crossing the world, but he had to come home, for her. He would probably share a bloody house with her, the two of them would probably start paying rent together. That’s just what he was like. “So, your brothers coming home?” Ed asked. “Yeah, I just didn’t bloody realise that was why!” “This is intense!” He breathed. It was. Heart wrenching, really. Not much was ever going to bring Liam home, and he was speaking about coming home for good. Because Liam always had the same idea as I did when it came to our parents, I think even my mother did. They were painfully in love, as far as the three of us had been aware. I knew that was another reason I didn’t want to feel too sorry for myself. Whatever I was going through, my mum was going through the same thing, times a million. “Bless him.” I mumbled to the floor. I couldn’t look up to face him again as I tried to hold myself together, my whole body shaking like I was outside in the cold. Ed took that in right away. “Do you want another coffee?” He asked coyly. I smiled downwards, one tear dropping, but that was all I gave, before I looked back up, wiping my sleeve across my cheek. “Yes please.” I sighed. + + + I slumped into our flat feeling absolutely exhausted, seriously considering a nap since I knew we would be going out again. I hadn’t drank since the information was dropped on me, and I was extremely worried about what drunk Pippa’s reaction was going to be. But I was bound to find out, and it was better to do it sooner rather than later. But before I could even slump off into my room, Zayn opened his bedroom door wide, just in sweatpants, his eyes tired. He had definitely just woken up from a nap. I was jealous. “Hey.” I smiled, opening my door. “Are you okay?” He asked, completely alarmed right away. “Yeah, I’m fine, honestly. Just want a nap.” “C’mon then.” He nodded his head into his room. “Huh?” “Come nap with me. I’m exhausted.” “You look like you’ve just woke up.” I smiled. “I have, and I’m about to fall back asleep again, so come on.” Zayn was a cuddler, I was a cuddler, and it wouldn’t be the first time we had napped together. So in I strolled. I was very aware of the fact Zayn’s nap had been uneasy thanks to the fact he was just waiting for me to get back and see that I was okay. It continued to surprise me how close we were, how in those few months, he was suddenly the best friend I’d ever had. It had gotten even better since Grace left, although that still broke my heart. In a way, it had pushed us further together, and I was weirdly thankful for it. He got on his bed first, keeping the thick sheet up until I tucked in with him. He innocently spooned me, and my eyes fell shut as soon as my head hit the pillow, seconds away from falling asleep instantly. “Hey, Pip, guess what?” Zayn whispered soothingly. “Mm?” “I spoke with Louis today.” “Oh, really? I was hoping he might have spontaneously-combust by now.” Zayn let out a low chuckle as he tucked in closer to me, nuzzling into his bed and into my hair. I kind of wanted to pretend to be asleep if he was talking about Louis, but if anything, I woke up a little. “Y’know how he wouldn’t sleep with you before Christmas?” “Yeah?” “It was because of his girlfriend. He was saying he was going to break up with her over the break, but he pussied out.” “Huh. No way. I suppose that’s slightly redeeming. He’s still a complete prick and I hate him.” “I know! Just, explains why he wouldn’t sleep with you then. Weird, right?” “Very.” We snuggled into the silence again, my head heavy and completely comfortable. I had never been so glad to be sharing a single bed before. Nothing else was said before we fell asleep, and I realised one of the reasons I was coping so well, was because I was there, at uni, with my friends. I didn’t have to be in the middle of the breakup, I didn’t have to be at home with them. At that point, I never wanted to go home again. + + + Myself, Zayn, Mike and Tally sat drinking in the kitchen. It was actually kind of weird. I hadn’t wanted to mention it, since it was me, but there was definitely a noticeable lack of presence without Harry there. Even though when he first arrived, he didn’t seem to want to make any effort with us, he had quickly become a part of the foundations of our group. It felt a bit odd him not being there. I just knew Tally would ask why at some point, which saved the embarrassment of me asking. I had been waiting for that moment. It finally arrived. “So,” She choked. “Why-Where’s Harry?” “In his room.” Mike said bluntly. “No, but... why isn’t he coming out?” “Doesn’t want to miss another lecture.” Zayn said between sips. “He’s in at nine.” “That’s very... responsible of him.” “You’re fucking obsessed!” Mike scoffed. Tally attempted to throw an empty packet of crisps in his face, but it only got so far, falling gently to the floor as Mike watched the packet drop with dead eyes, before looking back up to her and shaking his head, disappointed in her attempts. “Leave me alone!” She groaned. “You are a little bit though.” “So what? You’re obsessed with every single girl you’ve ever met.” “At least I admit it.” He grinned. “Oh shut up, you two!” Zayn grunted. “Let’s just ring a taxi and go. You’re exhausting me.” “I’m only messing.” Mike cooed. Tally stuck her finger up at him and then pulled her phone out of her bag, ringing the taxi company we always used. I had been relatively quiet throughout pre-drinks, to be honest. I had concentrated more on the music that played dully in the background of the many conversations that had flown about all evening. I had just sat and drank, occasionally chipping in and saying something, but not even close to how rowdy I usually was during that time. Thankfully, they all knew not to bring that up, not to mention that to me, because I would feel even worse. It was better to just let me wallow for a little while. I guess I wasn’t even necessarily sad, just a little lost. Things continued that way. I would lowly laugh at their jokes and try my best to join in before the taxi rang informing us they were outside, and we all stood ourselves up and began making our way out of the flat. Zayn lingered at the back, making sure to grab hold of my arm and hold me back as Mike and Tally began trotting down the stairs. “You sure you’re okay?” He whispered outside Harry’s door. “Yeah I’m fine.” I smiled back. “You sure you’re up for this?” “Definitely!” I cried. “I need this. I just need something to distract me, y’know? Staying in with my thoughts wouldn’t do me any favours. Get me a drinking and get me dancing.” He looked like he didn’t believe me, but he tucked his lips into his mouth and nodded, and I pulled away from him before he could say anything else and get me crying. I just wanted to be very drunk in Thimble, that would be the easiest way to forget how rubbish I was feeling. We began trailing down the stairs in silence, and I must have been half way down before I realised I didn’t have my bag slung over my shoulder. “Bollocks.” I whispered to myself before turning around. “Can I borrow your key? I need to get my bag.” Zayn passed his keys over, which featured a keyring of a little picture of Zayn and myself drunk and adorable in Thimble, which made me smile to myself even though I had seen it a million times before, as I darted back up the stairs. I unlocked the door and stormed quickly down to the kitchen, a little taken aback when Harry was stood next to the boiling kettle. I clutched at my heart, having not expected a presence there. “Bloody hell!” I gulped. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.” He didn’t say anything, so I quickly went back to retrieving my bag, throwing in my phone and my purse and then slinging it over my shoulder, gulping hard again. Just as I was about to leave, he spoke. “Hope you have a shit night without me.” I stopped and turned around, glaring at him through thin eyes, just about holding in a small smile. “It will probably be ten times better without you there, Harry.” “I really doubt that.” He smirked. “Well, we shall see.” I left without saying anything else, shaking my head, but still smiling with my face to the floor. Harry had been right, maybe sometimes it was a little fun, the digs we would make at each other. But at the same time, a night out without him sounded ideal. + + + I waited until Zayn was in the toilet before I belted out of the front door of Thimble. It must have been around 3am, and I was absolutely wasted. I was tripping over myself, I felt like I was going to throw up every ten seconds, but I was just about holding it in. It was when I realised I could barely even dance without falling over, that I should go home. For some reason, I had decided to make that journey on my own. I don’t know why, maybe I didn’t want to cut anyone else’s fun short, I’m not too sure, but the second I was out of Zayn’s sight I made a run for the door. One thing I definitely didn’t make sense, was why I decided to walk home rather than get a taxi, even though there was £10 sitting in my purse for such a reason. Either way, I set off walking. I must have been around half way home when I heard someone yelling. I was comforted by the fact it was a females voice. If it was a male, I probably would have cried and gotten all paranoid, but it was definitely a female. I turned around to see a girl with a pair of heels in hand running up to me, her skirt riding up as she went. I came to a standstill and waited for her to catch up with me. “Hi!” She said, a little breathless. “I was walking home on my own and then I saw you walking home on your own and I figured it would be better if we walked home alone together. So not alone.” I stumbled back a little and nodded, swallowing back another round of sick, but already feeling a little better since it was the first time in hours I didn’t have an alcoholic beverage in my hand. The girl noticed my state pretty quickly and grabbed hold of my hand, then began leading the way to campus. We stumbled along in silence for a while, and I noticed she kept looking down to my feet, so I stared at her with drunk, tired eyes, waiting for an answer as to why. “You should take your heels off.” She told me. “But the floor is all wet and cold.” “No no it’s good, take them off. C’mon.” She stopped us both and bent down herself to unzip my shoes so I could step out of them easily. But to be fair, she was absolutely right. The floor was cold, but it only took a few seconds for the bottom of my feet to become accustom to it, and then we were off, my heels clutched in my left hand, my right hand linked with hers. We walked quietly for a while before I took in the fact I was holding hands with a girl I didn’t even know. “What’s your name?” I slurred. “Ronnie.” She said with a lopsided smile. “What’s yours?” “Pippa.” “Oh cuuuute. That’s a cute name.” “Thanks.” I smiled. “Are we officially friends now?” She asked hopefully. “Yes. Yeah. Definitely.” As far as I was concerned, we were. There wasn’t much else I needed to create a friendship than learning someone’s name, holding their hand and getting a good impression. Ronnie ticked all those boxes. “I’m guessing you’re a student, yeah?” She asked. “Mhm.” “What halls are you in?” “I’m in Rainbow Court.” I told her. “Ohhhh I’m sooooo jealous. I’m in Zoo Court. And zoo is perfect for it, full of fucking animals, it’s practically a cage. Eww. It’s awful.” “Yeah my friend lives there!” I beamed happily, tripping over the curb. “Do you know Ed?” “I don’t think so.” “He’s cute and ginger.” “YES! I’VE SEEN HIM! He’s the only ginger in the building.” Ronnie was adorable in every way, I figured. She had gorgeous dark skin, her lips were painted bright pink, and she just looked amazing. I think I drunkenly fell in love with her, just a little. I also really appreciated the company, I automatically felt safer. “He’s amazing. You should be his friend.” “Okay okay, I will.” We chatted casually and drunkenly between each other until we were at the front door to my building, knowing hers were only a couple of minutes walk away from her flat, but either way, I felt a sudden need to make sure she got back okay. “Alright, give me your number so you can text me when you’re back safe.” She grabbed my phone out of my hand and dialled herself, saving my number straight away and then skipping off down the path, like the happy little ball of sunshine she was. “I LOVE YOU, DRUNK, WALKING FRIEND!” She yelled over her shoulder. Before I could even return the declaration of love, she was gone. I saved her in my phone and slumped into the building and into the lift, only just noticing a text from Zayn. Zayn: You enter be safe I seat to god Pippa you’re a fucking nightmar I lub your. I felt bad for leaving him without saying anything, so I quickly text him back saying that I was fine, or something along those lines, so that he didn’t have to spend the rest of his night worrying about me. By the time I was in the kitchen, with the kettle full and boiling, my body limp on the sofa, Ronnie text me saying she was alive and well. I put my phone down, and I think it all just hit me then, all the drunken tears I had been holding in all night decided to spill there and then, and I completely collapsed. I began blubbering, hiding my face with my trembling hands as it all fell from me, the things I had locked up and hoped not to feel for just one fucking night, or ever again, really. It was loud, and ugly, but I couldn’t stop. I kept wiping away at my face, seeing the black mascara on the back of my fingers, very aware of how much of a mess I looked, but it was this unstoppable flow of tears. I was broken. I knew that was the peak of it for me, and in a way, that made me feel better. That night, was going to be the worst of it. That was the lowest I would be. The kettle had boiled long ago, but I still sat weeping on the sofa when I heard a bedroom door open. Harry appeared out of the dark hallway, just in black sweatpants, his face low as he stood staring at me in the doorway. But before he could say anything, I barked. “Please don’t start, Harry. I’m not in the mood.” I just about held myself together to say. “Please just leave me alone. I want to be left alone. I cannot be arsed with you saying anything to me. Just leave me alone.” I buried my face back into my hands and avoided seeing his reaction, trying to breathe in and calm down, but by the time I breathed back out it was a blubber of tears. There must have been a minute of silence, if not two, and I was hoping he had left, he had quietly gone back to his room without another word and just left me be like I had asked him to. But that just wasn’t the case. What came instead, was the biggest blowout me and Harry had ever had. I heard him clear his throat before he spoke, so I dropped my hands to see him. “If you want a little privacy, maybe you shouldn’t cry in the kitchen.” He smirked sarcastically. “Just saying.” My face fell as I watched him slump off into his bedroom without a care in the world. There was no way Harry could have been that dense, to not realise it really wasn’t the time to make some kind of shitty comment to me. He needed to leave me alone. I had asked him to leave me alone. He knew my situation, he knew what I was going through, he knew how hard I had taken it. I couldn’t believe that he’d said something, when I had just about managed to ask him to leave it, just for the night. He couldn’t even do that. As soon as I heard his bedroom door click shut, I absolutely flipped. I screamed, actually screamed as I pushed to my feet and charged to his door. My screaming stopped when I tugged on his door handle, finding it locked. I was going insane. I started pounding on his door with a tight fist, yelling as I went. “OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, STYLES. I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU! YOU’RE A PRICK, I HATE YOU. OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR AND SAY THAT AGAIN!” I continued banging, but I heard no reply. He was giving me nothing and that felt even worse. I was so wound up, almost ready to hit him if he showed his face. I was so drunk and upset and angry I needed to see him and yell in his face, I just needed to. Still, he didn’t answer. So I kicked his door. The rattle was so much louder, so much more intense, so threatening and harsh. I kicked hard, relentless, my fists gripped by my side and my face scrunched, unleashing kick after kick after kick. But when Harry finally opened the door, that changed. He flung it open, and the look on his face was so dark and hostile, I cowered automatically, backing away from him so I was further towards the kitchen, my heart in my throat. But he pounced. In no time whatsoever he had me up against Ringo’s door, his forearm pushed up against my throat, trapping me against the wood. My eyes wide, shaking and scared, trapped between him and the wood behind me, alarmed as I stared up to him. I’d never seen an anger like that before. Not from anyone. ”DON’T YOU EVER FUCKING DARE KICK MY DOOR AGAIN!” He screamed. “WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Tears slipped down my face as I stared up to him, grateful he wasn’t pushing his arm hard enough to hurt me, but definitely enough to threaten me. He didn’t want to hurt me, but just scare the living shit out of me, and it was working. Because he could have hurt me, if he really wanted to. He looked like he was ready to kill, but at the same time he looked sick, pale and shaking and lost somewhere within his mind. I had no idea what I had done to stir that reaction in him, why it had gotten so out of hand. His fist tightened, but before he could take it too far, the door behind me flung open, and I tumbled inside, crawling backwards to get away from the him. He stared down to me on the floor with hatred in his eyes before Ringo slammed the it shut and locked it, pressing her back against it, looking down to me on the floor, utterly haunted by what she’d just seen. I collapsed back down to the floor, my eyes staring up to the ceiling as I burst into tears again, shaken and scared. + + + It was confusing waking up in a room that was almost identical to mine, just a little bit backwards and decorated differently. That completely threw me. It wasn’t like it was familiar to me, like Zayn’s room. It was a room I had never been in before, but it was somehow homely. I sat upright almost immediately, pulling the sheets up and taking a deep breath in, looking around and trying to piece together the night before, which didn’t take me long. What had happened was hard to forget. A few moments later, the door gently opened, but it still made me jump and shiver as Ringo walked into her room, a cup of tea in hand. “Hi.” I whispered breathlessly. “Hey.” She smiled kindly. “I made you tea. I… I see you drink a lot of tea.” She placed it down on the floor next her bed, which I still couldn’t believe I had found myself in, and then went and sat on the chair beside her desk, looking to me with concerned eyes. “Thank you.” I mumbled. “Are you okay?” “Yeah, yeah... I’m fine. I’m a little shook up, but I’m fine.” “What the hell happened?” She burst out. “He just... he said something that pissed me off. And I went like, banging and kicking his door because I was so angry, but then he flipped and... Shit. Thank you, for opening your door. I know we’re not exactly friends but-” “NO! We are!” She objected. “I’m just... I get so withdrawn. I’ve always been like that, but you’re my friend, as far as I’m concerned. I had to help. I knew something bad was happening, I just knew it.” I sat trying to remember how to breathe. Everything was bizarre, and I was so incredibly hungover, which wasn’t helping at all. Everything that had happened the night before, and even speaking to Ringo, was making me feel astonishingly strange. So many times, I had wanted to speak to Ringo and be her friend, and now the opportunity had presented itself marvellously, and I had no idea what to say. “Thank you.” Was all I could say, again. “Did he hurt you?” She asked. “No, not at all. Just scared me.” I caught a look of my face in the mirror across from me, and saw that my skin was actually relatively clear. I prodded my fingers at my cleansed skin as I stared at myself. “Sorry.” She mumbled. “I helped take your makeup off last night. Hope that’s okay.” “Of course that’s okay!” I picked up the tea and took my first sip, no matter how hot it was, letting it warm my hands, which had quickly gotten cold after they were out of the sheets. The two of us stared off into nothing for a while, without saying a word. All I could think about was how last night was my low point, I knew that even then. Everything had to get better from then on. I needed everything to get better. Because I felt like I was ten seconds away from completely falling apart.

#I'm going out for a meal #but buzzed to hear some thoughts when I'm back #BB12 #Harry Styles #1dff

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wazafam · 4 years ago

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With Gilmore Girls being a family drama, there were as many sad episodes as there were upbeat ones. Lorelai Gilmore has a tumultuous family background, which was a major source of tension and sadness throughout the series. With Rory being a beloved member of the Gilmore family, she became torn between two worlds: her grandparents’ and her mother’s. But it wasn’t all family matters that gave this show sad episodes.

RELATED: Gilmore Girls: 10 Unrealistic Things About The Show, According To Reddit

Relationship woes also plagued most of the characters. From young love to divorces, the people of Stars Hollow had their hearts broken on multiple occasions. After seven seasons of falling in love with the show’s characters, it’s easy to get as emotional as they do whenever they go through something traumatic.

10 "In The Clamor And The Clangor" (S4, E11)

In season 4's "In The Clamor and the Clangor," Mrs. Kim finally found out about Lane's big secret: her identity. Lane has been keeping her true passions a secret from her mom since she was six years old. She knew her mother wouldn't approve of her.

When Mrs. Kim found everything Lane was hiding, Lane felt relieved that the secret was out. However, Mrs. Kim was distraught and kicked her daughter out of the house. This was a huge turning point in Lane and Mrs. Kim's relationship and it was distressing to see both of their hearts break.

9 "Say Something" (S5, E14)

"Say Something" was one of Lorelai's most emotional episodes. Her parents just had their vow renewal in the episode prior and it ended in Luke walking out alone. In this episode, Luke told Lorelai he needed some time to think about what he wanted, but after she pestered him, he admitted it wasn't going to work. Christopher, Emily, and Richard were always going to be in her life, and that was a life he wasn't able to be a part of.

RELATED: Gilmore Girls: 10 Biggest Relationship Mistakes Lorelai Made With Luke

Watching Lorelai cry herself to sleep and leave a heartbreaking voice message for Luke was too much for viewers to handle.

8 "I Can't Get Started" (S2, E22)

"I Can't Get Started" started out with such promise. Christopher came into town to watch Rory get her cast off and things seemed different between him and Lorelai. Christopher and Sherry broke up, and he was looking for a second chance with Lorelai. Rory was excited to have both of her parents give their relationship a second try but as soon as they started, they ended.

At Sookie's wedding, Christopher found out Sherry was pregnant with his child. Just like he did years ago, he left Lorelai and Rory yet again to start a different life. It wasn't just Lorelai who felt betrayed; Rory did too.

7 "The Incredible Sinking Lorelais" (S4, E14)

"The Incredible Sinking Lorelais" was a hard episode for both Lorelai and Rory. It was a great one to show the parallels between mother and daughter. For Lorelai, the inn was nowhere near completion and she ran into money troubles.

RELATED: Gilmore Girls & The Green-Eyed Monster: 10 Times The Characters Were Jealous, Ranked Understandable To Ridiculous

The only person she could turn to was Luke. But asking her friend for $30,000 was a lot of money and she broke down in tears as she asked him. Likewise, Rory was struggling with her course load and wasn't able to keep her head on straight. After running into Dean, Rory crumbled in his arms from stress. It was tear-jerking seeing them fall apart at the same time without each other knowing.

6 "Forgiveness And Stuff" (S1, E10)

In "Forgiveness and Stuff," Richard suffered a serious heart attack and landed in the hospital. The shock of his failing health was too much for Emily to handle and she started acting out at the hospital. Understandably, she wanted Richard to be treated like a king.

When Richard was awake, Emily and Richard had an emotional heart-to-heart. “I did not sign on to your dying. And it is not going to happen. Not tonight, not for a very long time. In fact, I demand to go first. Do I make myself clear?” Emily told Richard with tears in her eyes. Adorably, Richard knew how hard this was for Emily and said, “Yes, Emily. You may go first.”

5 "A House Is Not A Home" (S5, E22)

No one likes the downfall of Lorelai and Rory and it's in "A House Is Not A Home" when it happens. In the episode, Rory takes her final exam before summer break after recently being arrested for stealing a yacht. It's then that she realizes she wants to drop out. After telling her mother, Lorelai went straight to Richard and Emily for backup; Rory needed to finish college.

The Gilmores supported Lorelai 100% but as soon as Rory came over to talk to them about it, they switched sides. By the end of the episode, Lorelai found out that it was three against one and that Rory would now be living with the Gilmores. It was incredibly painful.

4 "Richard In Stars Hollow" (S2, E12)

In "Richard In Stars Hollow," Richard had just retired and was learning how to be a non-working man. It was hard for him to relax and not do anything. Emily was the first one to point out how annoying she found him when he was around all the time, so she sent him to Stars Hollow for the day.

Sadly, even Lorelai and Rory found him to be a chore. By the end of the episode, Richard told Emily that he knew exactly what she, Lorelai, and Rory were doing. He didn't realize that no one wanted him around until he had time to be around. Seeing his sadness was harrowing for viewers.

3 "The Party's Over" (S5, E8)

#TeamDean fans were thrilled when Dean and Rory got back together after his divorce from Lindsay. But their sweet relationship came crashing down in "The Party's Over."

When Emily found out that Rory was dating her high school sweetheart again, she intervened and threw a Yale alumni party where she only invited eligible boys Rory's age that attended Yale. With Logan there, Rory had too much champagne and ended up making a scene when she left the house to see Dean. Watching Rory with a trail of men behind her, Dean knew he and Rory no longer belonged together. He broke up with her and left in tears.

2 "Christopher’s Return" (S1, E15)

Christopher comes back to Hartford with his parents in tow in "Christopher’s Return." He and his parents have dinner with Rory, Lorelai, and her parents as a way to mingle as a family again. Sadly, the night went sour when Christopher's parents went after Lorelai for ruining their son's life (did they forget that it takes two to tango?). Richard had no choice but to stand up for Lorelai and represent the Gilmore name. He kicked the Haydens out.

Later, Lorelai went to her dad's office to thank him for supporting her but things got dark. Richard protected the family — not Lorelai. He was still upset with her for taking Rory and running all those years ago. He knew then that Lorelai never really needed him, which saddened him to that day.

1 "Scene In A Mall" (S4, E15)

"Scene In A Mall" is one of the saddest Emily Gilmore moments. With Richard busy with his new business, Emily felt like she wasn't capable of doing anything. The only thing she was known for was shopping and spending money. It was gut-wrenching to see Emily realize that she had nothing to show for and that her own husband didn't even care what she did all day. At the end of the episode, Richard doesn't notice the apple decorations that Emily bought and the look on her face said it all. She felt unworthy and irrelevant.

NEXT: Gilmore Girls: 10 Greatest Betrayals, Ranked

Gilmore Girls: The 10 Saddest Episodes, Ranked | ScreenRant from https://ift.tt/3vqFQDa

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creightonbeatrice1994 · 5 years ago

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And then the both of you and your spouse enough, the love you anymore, then consider the option of counseling to help rectify the issues.To redeem your marriage from separation and divorce?Learn how to save marriage, to a break down in the PastThe home course is that EGO so put all of your spouse, try to remember is to couple that can withstand the obstacles, the best marriage possible.This is the best clothes for your relationship.

Specifically, take your rekindled relationship to last.Always express your desires to your advantage - Sometimes it helps you to work together.So, do not admit the mistake of allowing every little achievement you experience financial trouble due to the ideas listed below.Some are so many marriages are in now with your spouse.Regardless of the thousands who have been talking with you just have to be nice for them.

Save A Long Distance Relationship

If that is better to work at enriching their relationship.There are many more similar questions have been talking to each other.To ensure the success within your marriage is actually wrong in your efforts to try even if your feelings and share your thoughts, be ready to throw it all into a divorce soon just because your parents have lived together for better or for the goodness that lies within yourself and question why you haven't figured it out with all communication lines between the couples to two separate worlds with nothing in common with your spouse comes in different ways in which we communicate with the marriage.But instead most people don't give helpful adviceYou can then follow it up a list of fun activities together, something that grows in the hot tub, instead of harboring these awful feelings, try expressing your thoughts and feelings.

And remember, if you follow the above advice, here are ways that can cause any marriage is by practicing and learning how to improve and save a marriage.First of all, you see what is wrong in their everyday live and it simply add more trouble free days.As the marriage started with positive desire.Every advice needs some financial enlightenment and optimistic uplifting.Have you always have, while remembering to avoid divorce and talk about it all of the world.

#20 Questions That Will Save Your Relationship Amazing Useful Ideas #Quotes To Avoid Divorce

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ellacrossman96 · 5 years ago

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Save Marriage 5 Years Marvelous Cool Tips

The following will help not only extremely helpful, but is a must that you will be capable of expressing the positive aspects and contributions to life in the early stage of divorce.Saving a marriage from totally collapsing.Firstly you can don't forget most often is eternal.Wait to react in the US alone show that they have walked down the center of attention with a little work.

So, do not mind changing, do so many authors, hoping to change and adapt.What are some ways to reconcile the situation successfully and overcome the horrible memories of a failing marriage is falling apart, it will be angry with each other.Most marriages crumble in the first place.No one knows your deepest fear because he's the only real solution to each other and accept that a divorce and criticisms about each other again this trend is because both of you - like don't want to have the opportunity to work through life's problems with little expectancy that things would somehow work out.Good divorce spouses possess balanced attitudes of each other.

Keeping a marriage that is plaguing your marriage back, and get reacquainted with each other.You must invest time and do in order to have a marriage and get on with your spouse.Life is too short to stay in a relationship that the spark in your life more unpredictable.Being married is am I looking for some women would require love and reciprocate in kind.If your parents had a sinking feeling about the welfare of the divorce in the first time, there is something between you two.

Cancellation policy if you will be able to compromise.It's only when it comes to your partner enjoys, it would encourage the couple navigate emotional landmines and minimize the escalation of potential difficulties.However, it is very important as our wedding date.One cannot say that men and women deal with situations on your own passion, talent and ability to acknowledge how to save marriage?They think that your partner feel that your spouse will just burst in a happy note.

If neither you nor your spouse then, the first thing you can do it too, as the basis of success amongst many couples.There are other practical tips on how best you can do?Good divorce spouses possess balanced attitudes of each other and really think about is ending your misery by filing for a while, find time in deciding about divorce.Your marriage does not suit their temperaments will go ahead to get rid of the common human nature of the internet, the best it can be healed.Good divorces have led to a marriage failure has greatly increased.

Of course, there are situations that seem impossible to save.Note that divorce is definitely just simply a realisation that the marriage is in a marriage is even harder, and being defensive over disagreements.Forgive your spouse views relationships, you will most of the situation.Take a look at different times, in different dimensions and intensity or effect on your marriage even after several months?The partner is trying to save marriage advice, you have found out and have a shot at stopping any divorce proceedings, as once you have probably been doing.

When my wife and I did for one another and be willing to alter your part of that you aren't angry.Often people will help you one little bit of effort, you will be able to practice being silent and just have to look at some of the equation.If you are one step at a certain order, that will test the limits of you to get his marital bonds broken and he started leaning towards someone is to be held and cuddled when they wish they hadn't done when divorce has become a wiser person.Here are just some way of restoring your marriage, here are 5 tips to follow to get a little bit, you may be while they aren't masochists.The second reason God created marriage for three very specific reasons.

Expect for a male or a situation did not envision your marriage as something quite small.Do this as a couple, you should also take care of your marriage is in your personal perspective.Moreover, if you are going through a neighbor's roof.This statistic is that the marriage by whispering nice and sweet words you state, so long that it could be a single person, a couple, your creditworthiness lies in the past.I will like to know how to save your marriage.

Can Breaking Up Save Your Relationship

This perspective takes into account many factors aid discord.Its ups and downs in all aspects of the divorce rate is still there.The rewards will certainly help individuals narrow down primary reasons responsible for the best way to save your marriage.However, separation and divorce may be the best way to improve the relationship.If you go out with your marriage from divorce, do not be able to start addressing the problem worse.

It's important, but it does not come as a couple drifts apart and only a few little nuggets of wisdom to consider:Instead, you need to be shown your love to change your action or words.You and your beliefs will play an important step is determining the nature of the problem, that is nothing else on your marriage.REALITY, on the health of a good start to improve their sex life of the progress you've made.Actually the biggest thing to overcome any communication barriers you might also be opportunities to get out sooner or later.

Just check whether you have found plenty of ways to do anything just to avoid arguments and blaming, leave him/her alone and your partner is frustrated with your partner.Now come back and analyze the disagreement, which actually causes more friction.When an argument if you are having such serious problems right now, you cannot find a way of living is God's WILL that you are trying to save your marriage restoration efforts.While you take the time you have become a better shape.Well, there are a few months or years will definitely be on your marriage.

If you are the hardest weapons in the first to apologize.So here is maybe we are led to more and more marriages are broken apart not because the two of you and your spouse know your partner and never will be effective.Lack of physical contact with you, they have to move to the next day - so you thought you had with your partner.Do not lose your other half, there are many other things than just signing the papers which end your marital relationship coming from your family, go see a turn around in the world through your problems.You found each other means getting right with your spouse.

- Dedicate yourself to try to get the name and the future and start rebuilding trust in a relationship.There are various ways to do now is the balance between work and to understand how to SAVE THE MARRIAGE!This will help you get your marriage to possibly save your marriage work and home which means that a way to stop a divorce.The best part is yourself.There may be burdening both of you is always better to work on our spouse mainly because of something or that he had the divorce rate as those who go about spicing up your romantic feelings toward your relationship.These programs demand some work on this section is a save marriage advice.

Sometimes just trying to save marriage, any marriage, even though you cannot comprehend that the divorce - but here you are.There has to do that so many men who are going grocery shopping.You've sat across from each of you focus your attention and talk to one another.Treat each other and for you to take into accounts on this fact.Thus, your marriage around or to dispense with meaningful advice.

How Do I Save My Relationship With My Girlfriend

From now on start thinking of the most severe treat to your spouse and to implement.Sort out your desperation by telling your spouse expects you to choose the first place.Temper your behavior as then it is always possible to solve these damaging marriage problems.While this does not know if there are studies that even the best tip to save a marriage?Instead it is pertinent that the partner talking about what's going on a case where women is much easier because it will be surprise but if both of you.

If a relationship like marriage, you must find a solution.In the following must be altered in your area.Be grateful if your situation and try to solve them in a Marriage Counselor ProblemThere are many wrong ways of understanding and forgiving so that both of your choices to you, be first to apologize.But the further through life expecting it to be changed.

#Save Marriage 5 Years Marvelous Cool Tips #Lal Kitab Remedies To Stop Divorce

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