#to top this the sales assistant invited me to a ladies night with five friends where we could shop together then while having sparkling wine

[drippling-thoughts]

I honestly know nothing more awkward than going into an underwear shop and the sales assistant wanting to help you try on bras😶‍🌫️

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #21 | Double Chinn Double (Double) Feature (with Hyapatia Lee)

By the time the '80s rolled around, Bob Chinn, best known for his collaborations with John Holmes (the inspiration for Boogie Nights), had been directing movies for over a decade. For much of that time, he'd been making them for peanuts (in an interview with the Rialto Report, he recounts being once asked to make a movie for five thousand dollars, which was handed to him in fifties on the spot), but in the early '80s, he was directing for Harry Mohney's Caribbean Films, working with respectable budgets (by porn standards). Some of these films starred Hyapatia Lee, one of the most popular porn stars of the era and one of the first contract girls. Now, I suspect these aren't necessarily the defining works of Chinn's career, and I do intend to get to some of his movies with Holmes. But Vinegar Syndrome had a sale and there were two double features of their collaborations going for dirt cheap, and because I am weak and foolish with money, they ended up in my cart and a few weeks later in my grubby little paws. How did this happen? Through the magic of Canada Post, of course! Anyway, what I found was that these didn't represents any extremes of artistic ambition. They were neither seeking to elevate the genre, nor were they hackwork. Rather, they represent a happy medium, movies that seek to deliver the genre's goods in a polished, diverting package. Slick cinematography, courtesy of Jack Remy. Catchy theme songs that wouldn't sound out of place if you caught them on the radio. Flashy titles. Lee recounted the atmosphere on set as one of professionalism and engagement, where everyone present wanted to do as good a job as possible. Chinn claims to have been losing interest in his work at this point, but the results onscreen are the result of confident execution by somebody who had been doing this kind of thing for years and knew how to put the production's resources to good use.

The first one I watched was The Young Like it Hot, where the operators at a phone company worry about being replaced by computers. To keep their jobs, they scheme to go the extra mile in helping their callers. As this is a porno, most of this help is sexual in nature, as when Rosa Lee Kimball stays on the line while an obscene phone caller played by Bill Margold finishes. (In an interview on the DVD, Margold says after shooting his scene, he was invited to record additional dialogue. Being the method actor that he was, he insisted on whipping it out during the recording session despite the lack of cameras.) Sometimes they are informative, as when Bud Lee (real life husband of Hyapatia at the time) explains why the perineum is referred to as taint ("cuz it taint cunt and it taint ass"). But the highlight of their efforts are Shauna Grant's increasingly life threatening home improvement advice to one poor sap played by Joey Silvera. Hyapatia Lee is ostensibly the star, and has a certain charisma, playing the supervisor, but this is really an ensemble piece, and she's joined by more experienced actors like Kay Parker and Eric Edwards. The latter I've occasionally found bland elsewhere, but he has a nice obnoxious quality that serves him well as the villainous manager whose idea it is the automate the operators' jobs. The movie reflects a very real concern (that's very much still an issue in the modern workplace), but overall this is a breezy, affable comedy.

A bit more serious in tone is Sweet Young Foxes, a coming of age story whose dramatic parts are more sensitively realized than I expected. The screenplay was written by Deborah Sullivan, Bob Chinn's wife at the time, and this is a case where a movie definitely benefited from having been written by a woman, and it seems like an earnest effort to capture the anxieties and yearnings of its young women protagonists. Lee moves closer to a real starring role, and is joined by Cara Lott and Cindy Carver as her friends, who aren't quite as strong actors as her but do have decent chemistry. I can believe they're friends even if their line delivery can be stilted. (That the movie has a good ear for genuine sounding dialogue also helps.) Kay Parker is especially good as Lee's mother, hitting some of the same notes as Taboo, and has a credibly emotional masturbation scene in front of a mirror that did not leave me unmoved. (In what way? That's none of your damn business.) This was shot by Jack Remy, the same cinematographer who worked on The Young Like it Hot. That movie looked nice and slick, but this one is a little more stylish, with the solo sex scenes in particular resembling magazine centerfolds. There's also some nice new-wave-ish music that shows up on the soundtrack, which I certainly didn't mind. I do wish some of the sex scenes didn't run quite as long (the previous movie kept them refreshingly concise) as I'd prefer more of the runtime was dedicated to the dramatic elements, but what's there is still good.

Body Girls goes back firmly to comedy territory, where Hyapatia Lee and the members of her gym are trying to win a bodybuilding contest despite a rival gym's attempts to undermine them. This comes in the form of a pair of schlubs in yellow tank tops who break into the gym after hours to sabotage their equipment, only to be foiled by Hyapatia and her girls who just happened to be having sex in the locker room as people do. Of course, despite Lee's attempts to teach them a lesson (which depending on your proclivities, may have the opposite effect), they don't give up, and during the contest threaten the judge at gunpoint. Not one to take things lying down (okay, poor choice of words here), Lee finds a way to influence the judge back in her favour. (The judge is played by Francois Papillon, bringing a dopey charm to the character as he fumbles through his lines in his French accent.) Her method is pretty ridiculous and certainly in service of genre requirements, but I did laugh.

Now, there's probably a dilemma in audience sympathy here as both Lee and her rivals are cheating, but Lee's methods are more agreeable and directed at the judge instead of her rivals so I guess we ought to root for her. She's also buoyant, charismatic and has a real star quality, and is joined by such fan favourites as Shanna McCullough and Erica Boyer, all of whom sport wildly different hairstyles. As can be expected given the exercise theme, most of the ladies have toned, athletic bodies (and given the decade, voluminous coiffures), with the exception of Tigr, who brings a wiry punkish energy that stood out to me despite her limited screentime, and she also performs the miraculous feat of making a mullet look cute. (I'd previously been moved by her work in Kamikaze Hearts, the great mockumentary about a porn production and her relationship with Sharon Mitchell. She didn't stay in the industry for too long, but I'd be interested in seeing more of her work.) The screenplay was written by Lee with her husband Bud (who plays the judge's assistant with an agreeable presence that's neither too alpha nor too schlubby) and is full of exercise-related dialogue. Most of this is pretty clunky and calling it wordplay might be a bit generous ("sexercise" features at one point), but I did appreciate the effort. Also as is requisite for the premise, the longest set piece in the movie is an orgy in Lee's gym with the various participants snaked around different pieces of equipment. I must note that one of the male actors resembles Barry Gibb and that Francois Papillon is shown to wear a tiger-striped speedo. Did I enjoy the movie? Yes, but not for reasons cited in that sentence.

At the end of Body Girls, Bud Lee suggests to Hyapatia, "Let's get physical", which is the title of the next movie. (Body Girls also features a character looking at dirty magazine with stills from Sweet Young Foxes and ends with a plug for some of these other movies, anticipating the MCU's narrative and marketing strategies by a few decades.) Now, all of these movies have had decent theme songs, but the one in Let's Get Physical has lyrics that are plagiaristically close to those of Olivia Newton-John's 1983 hit. (The delivery however is more shrill but not unpleasing.) This movie is a drama where Lee plays a dance instructor trying to put together a ballet performance despite her strained relationship with her impotent husband played by Paul Thomas. (In the interview I listened to, Lee speaks well of almost everyone she worked with on these films, with the pointed exception of Paul Thomas. If there was bitterness behind the scenes, it arguably helps their performances.)

Lee wrote the screenplay for this one, and unlike Body Girls with its surface level references to bodybuilding and exercise, the dialogue here feels packed with knowledge of the real thing, which is understandable given Lee's real life interest in dance going back to her childhood. (I looked up "Luigi jazz dancing" after finishing the movie and was pleasantly surprised to learn it was a real thing.) This movie goes all in on her star power, and features a number of dance numbers that seem genuinely interested in the form rather than just leering at the performers. (There is one scene where the song Lee dances to sounds suspiciously like "Beat It".) I did appreciate that the sex scenes were kept relatively concise and tied into the dramatic aspects, although in some cases, the choices made could be goofy, like the scene where Lee makes love to her student Shanna McCullough while Thomas, in a dramatically justified but still awkward gesture, watches from another room and jacks off. (I assume he's playing the audience in this scene. Also, McCullough's character remarks "I've never done this before" when going down on Lee, and yeah, okay Shanna.) Other highlights include a car stunt that may or may not have been lifted from elsewhere but still looks decently executed, as well as a dream sequence where Thomas (or his character at least) plays the piano and sings a song. This is held back a bit by the genre's demands, like when it places a completely superfluous sex scene at the end after Lee's reconciliation with Thomas, but on the whole this is probably the best one of the lot.

[aleksadnezz]

Sweet Night 2

Jae x Reader

 It is Saturday and I don't have errands today but I don't want to waste this day by just laying on my bed and watch sum tv shows because that's what I always do (after my shift or when I don't have work). I decided to take a shower and wear a white shirt, jeans and one out of my three pair of shoes cuz I’m broke af. I put sum random stuff into my tote bag just in case cuz I still have no idea where I wanted to go. I head out my room and locked it. I glance over to the room across mine, I wonder when he will return my charger.. I’m just kidding. I wonder if he’s alright, I mean if he seems okay living alone and streaming all day? or all night not leaving his apartment. I’m just a concern co-tenant that’s all.

 I walked and walked and walked until I reached to the bus station. I didn’t wait that long for the bus to arrive, I hopped in thankfully there’s not much people at this hour. It’s only 10AM and I still have lots of time to waste. Since this bus is heading to the center of the city, where most people go cuz there are a lot of shopping malls and attractions I’ll stay there and let where it will lead me.

 When we reached the bus station, I immediately got off the bus and casually walked on the street. There are lots of stores in the area that I’m in, there are sum bookstores, clothing stores and cafés. I don’t usually go outside like this but when I do, I only go to market to buy groceries so it feels new to me to go out alone in a different place. What I like about living here is that people don’t actually care about others, it doesn’t matter to them whatever you do in public as long as it’s not harmful.

 I entered to sum clothing stores just to checked their prices and left right away. Damn. Why does clothes have to be that expensive, I can already buy five thrift items for that price. I went to a bookstore and bought one book. It’s a self-help book, though I don’t actually read but I want to give it a shot, this might be a new hobby for me so. I also went to Daiso which I think is now my favorite place, they sell random stuff and cute stuff which I ended up buying more than 5 items.

 Going to stores surprisingly took me 3 hours it’s already lunch time so I went to a café that also sells meals. The ambiance of the place is so calm and expensive, and there’s not much people inside which what I like. I ordered iced matcha and sum carbonara. After I eat, I headed back home cuz I might end up spending all my recent salary in just one day cuz that’s possible to happen. Knowing myself I’m a big spender but try to manage that since I’m now earning and paying my own bills.

 On the way home I didn’t saw the strange old man, thankfully. I’m tired and can’t deal with him right now. I put down all my bags on the floor, got change and lay on my bed. I was busy scrolling through my phone when I heard a knocked on my door so I stood up and walked over my door. My eyes grew bigger when I saw who knocked. It was my neighbor, Jae. He’s wearing sum navy long sleeve button down polo and jeans, way different from what he always wears except only his slides.

 “Hi Jae.” I greeted.

 “Hello y/n. Do you have time?”

 “Yeah why?”

 “Um I know we don’t know each other that much but can you help me?”

 “Well, I guess what is it?” I honestly don’t have an idea what help he is asking. I don’t know he might ask me to help him move furnitures or carry huge boxes or even buy him food outside the building or sumthin.

 “I’m sorry if it’s so sudden, you’re the only person that can help me about this, can you do makeup on me?” Eh? that’s all? I really though he’ll make me carry boxes. When I looked at him, he’s scratching his forehead. I think he’s embarrassed. So cut-I don’t to make things complicated for him so I I’ll put my curiosity behind.

 “Yeah, of course.”

 “I already bought makeup earlier so you don’t have to worry.” I nodded and bite my lip. So, I have to go to his place? Omg

 “Uhh so where do you want us to do it?” Woah that sounds so wrong. I immediately covered my mouth that made him laugh. “I-I mean am I going to your place or?” I nervously laughed. Damn. What the fuck.

 “Anywhere you’re comfortable.”

 “Okay so.. my place?” I asked him and he nodded.

 “I’ll just get the stuff” he said and entered his apartment.

 I scanned my room making sure that my place is clean. All my dirty clothes are on my basket. I have no dishes in the kitchen. My bed is a mess so I quickly smoothen the crease I made on my bed earlier. I sat on my chair and suddenly felt my heart beats fast. I just realized that it is my first time inviting a guy that I barely know, in my apartment. Not that I trust easily, it just my gut feeling telling me that he’s a nice person.

 I heard a knocked so I stood up and opened the door.

 “Hello again” He smiled and extend his hand carrying a paper bag. I took it and oh boy it’s heavy.

“Have a seat.” I offered him to seat on my small dining table cuz I don’t have a couch in my apartment. I sat on the other chair across to him. I took out all the makeup inside the bag and lay it on the table. I think he bought every item that’s in the store, there are more than 10 products inside the bag.

 “Okay..” I looked at him and he fixed his posture and looked straight at my face. Woah. I never felt more shy in my life.

 “I already have moisturizer on.” He spoke. How come he can read my mind? Besides from being a streamer is he a mind reader too?

 “Do you think that’s enough cuz I don’t know what I bought.” He pointed the bag.

 “it’s.. a lot.”

 “I asked for assistance and the lady there suggested those.” I laughed. Poor boy.

 “I think she tricked you from buying everything.”  

 “Happy to help.” He said.

“Great. Okay I’ll put foundation on your face first.” I opened the bottle and put sum at the back of my hand. When I said that he bought every single item in the store, I mean it. He even has the complete set of brushes.

 I can see that he’s still staring at my face while I put foundation on his face. He’s prolly counting my acne and dark spots. I’m too shy to tell him not to look directly at me so I just asked him to unbox the products.

 “Can I ask?” I spoke.

 “Sure.” He answered while he’s busy unboxing each item.

 “Why am I the person you reached out for this?” I raised the foundation and brush, referring to the makeup.

 “Most of my friends are men I bet they don’t know anything about this and I think you’re the only woman that can help me plus you lived across  so..” I laughed when he said the last part.

 “What is this for? If you don’t mind me asking” There, I said it. I’m just curious why he wants me to his makeup at 3pm. Not sus at all.

 “A-ahh I have an event.. yeah an event I need to attend to”

 “Hmm. Is it like the streamercon thing?”

 “Y-yeah something like that.”

 “By the way what time is the event?”

 “Probably at 6 but I have to leave at 5.”

 “Alright I’ll just make it natural.” He nodded and stared at me again.

 “Do you play games?” He suddenly asked.

 “No and I will never.” He laughed.

 “Why?”

 “I don’t know, I just don’t like playing and It looks complicated”

 “Maybe at first but once you started playing, you’ll get used to it.”

 “Still not convince.”

 “How about hobbies? What do you do?” I stop what I’m doing and looked up as if that I’m thinking. He looked at me intently, waiting for me to answer.

 “Nothing.” I said and continue doing his face.

 “What? Really?” He said surprisingly.

 “Yeah, I don’t really have a hobby.”

 “How about that painting?” He pointed something on my back so I looked back to see. It was my painting on top of my drawer, I hid it behind my picture frame cuz I have a nowhere to hide it.

 “That was years ago. I don’t paint anymore.” No story behind it. I just stop doing it. Besides I got busy from working.

 “Why though? That honestly looks really cool.”

 “Really?”  He nodded. “Thank you.”

 “Alright.. down to the last part.” I finished doing his face and I didn’t put a lot of makeup since he already has great skin. I just put concealer under his eyes and brought colors back to his face. I grabbed the peach lipstick and twisted it open. Still laughing in my mind cuz the sale’s lady prolly made him buy 4 lipsticks.

 Now it’s my turn to look at him. I’ve been avoiding his gaze while we’re talking, trying to focus on what I’m doing. I don’t want to make it awkward for the both of us so I’ll just make it fast.

 “Just stay still okay.” He nodded while looking anywhere but me.

 I don’t know where to put my other hand so I let it rest on my lap while the other one is holding the lipstick. I raised my hand and before the tip of the lipstick even touch his lips, he grabs my wrist.

 “Why?”

 “Nervous.” He said, still not looking at me. I’ve seen guys afraid of having lipstick on them which I don’t understand why but I don’t question it either.

 “Is that necessary?” He added.

 “Not really but for you, yes. You’re quite pale, I don’t want you to look dead.” He slightly laughed and softly released my wrist from his hand.

 “Am I that pale?” I nodded.

 “Alright then.”

 “Do you want to?” Asking him is he wanted to put it on himself.

 “No, it’s my first time I might mess it up. I’ll just let you do it.” Woah.  I feel honored.

 “Okay hold still.” I leaned my hand on his face but I can see him leaning backwards.

 “Don’t lean!” He laughed.

 “Alright.. sorry.”

 I hold his shoulder using my other hand and raised the other to glide the tip of the lipstick on his soft lookin lips. I saw him shut his eyes and I find myself smiling cuz I think he looks like a cute little kid. I didn’t realize that the application was taking too long until he slowly opened his eyes. My smile slowly fades while my hands still attached to him, creating connection between us. Our eyes locked into each other for a solid 4 seconds until his eyes slowly landed on my lips-sxsnpRYrccxSWwhhelp

 “W-woah.. m-my makeup is a masterpiece.” I said and quickly moves away. I grab a palette with a compact mirror and hand it to him. He took it and scanned his face. I can feel my cheeks heating up.

 “Masterpiece…” He said and turned to me smiling.

 “Thank you so much y/n for helping me. I owe you.” Thankfully I’m not that dumb enough so I heard it right.

 “No worries Jae. Happy to help.” I said mocking him about the sale’s lady situation. He laughed.

 “No really. I can’t thank you enough.” His phone rings, he looked on it and put it in his pocket. “Also.. can you please keep the bag for me?” I nodded.  We stood up and walked over the door.

 “Sure.”

 “Thank you again y/n I’ll see you… sometime. I’ll definitely make it up to you.”

“Don’t bother. It’s alright.”

 “I insist.” He looked at me intently. It’s like there’s sum energy from his eyes or maybe it just him that made me agree to everything that he says. I think I need to go to hospital. There’s something wrong about here or there’s something wrong about me…

 “Alright. Alright.” I slightly raised both my hands, showing him that I surrender.

 “Good. See you then. Bye y/n” He smiled. What the fuck

 “Bye Jae.” I smiled back. I waited him to leave before I hardly shut my door. I leaned on the back of my door, thinking about what just happened today. There’s nothing wrong about me. It’s him. He’s the problem. The way he looked at me. The way he smiles. The way he laughs. Gosh.

 I’ve seen this in films before and I’m now living on it.

1   2   3    4   5 

[peppurthehotone]

On February 23rd, on what thankfully turned out to be a sunny day in Los Angeles, I walked into the heavily guarded, star-studded gates of what is possibly The Oscars for some in attendance: The Film Independent Spirit Awards.

Thanks to our dear friends and Matt’s co-workers over at Lagralane Group, we were graciously extended the golden invitation to attend. Once I learned I was going, I waited with anticipation for what was sure to be my most sparkling Hollywood moment thus far. Truth be told, I felt like I’d arrived. Sort of. Let me explain.

The Film Independent Spirit Awards (aired in IFC Channel) are for the best and the brightest and the boldest independent filmmakers of the year. So, yeah, for the Indie world, in my opinion, this IS the Oscars. And let me tell you, when we discovered our table was two tables away from Tilda Swinton to the North, one table away from Marcia Gay Harden to the South, one table away from Regina King to the East and right behind Marisa Tomei, I was giddy with Oscar-worthy excitement.

Umm! Hello! Watch the entire show to see more of Matt and Jason & Yvonne (Lagralane) here:

I wasn’t on screen, I hadn’t done any work to be lauded, so why did I feel as though I’d arrived? Because for once, I’d been invited to a table! I wasn’t at the event because I was a PA wrangling talent. I wasn’t an assistant managing “+1s”. I wasn’t a driver parking a celeb’s SUV (like a I did for J-Lo’s set visit when I was a 2nd 2nd AD on the film 48 Hours To Live.) I was there for the purpose intended, to celebrate! And that gave me a fun sense of arrival. Plus, I was able to hug it out with some old sketch comedy friends, Diallo and his wife Brittney, and that truly felt amazing.

The spirit of the Spirit Awards is a lot like senior year graduation. There’s a lotta genuine joy in the room; lots of hugs and laughter and happy tears. It’s a “hello”, a “goodbye”, a “how ya been?”, a “what’s next?” and a “I hope I win!” for many in attendance. For me, having been at Sundance a month prior, where I saw the world-wide premiere of The Farewell by Lulu Wang and attended a panel featuring her, it was awesome to be “reunited” with her again at the Spirit Awards, dressed cute but casual in a pants outfit. It was equally awesome to reunite with Boots Riley and watch him win Best First Screenplay for Sorry to Bother You and watch Barry Jenkins win Best Feature, Director and Supporting Actress for If Beale Street Could Talk when just a week prior I had heard both of them speak on a director’s panel. As an observer, as somebody’s +1, it was all pretty awesome.

I think this experience is no different than those of you who go to sales conferences where you brush elbows with the top regional seller who you may or may not have a photo of on your vision board; or for the dentists who attend continuing education workshop weekends in Vegas and you’re reunited with a rock star dentist whose techniques have inspired you; or for the writers who attend book festivals only to see J.K. Rowling strolling down the hallway coming right at you. It’s all the same and what I learned from going to the Spirit Awards is that in order to be inspired to be the best at your craft, you’ve gotta be in the room. You’ve gotta get there and while there, you’ve gotta show UP!

What does this mean, exactly? Two things.

One:

You all know I’m an entertainer. I’m over twenty years in this industry as a writer/dancer/actor/producer/director. Of COURSE I want to be up there winning something and making a speech. But there’s a time and a place and this one wasn’t mine. Accepting that makes it a lot more fun to simply be in the room rather than wishing you could have somebody else’s ice cream. (It has taken over twenty years to reach this mature, enlightened perspective.) Howeves, friends. I have always learned by watching, doing and following. I’m inspired by it. When I entered Marquette as a freshman, there was a graduating senior there at the university who was from my high school in Kenosha. We ran into each other in the commons and he was super excited because he just found out he was going to be the Senior Speaker. I was like, “What’s that?” And he told me it’s an honor like valedictorian but you’re sort of nominated by and voted on by peers and faculty. I was like, “Cool! I want that too.” And four years later, I got it. He inspired me. I did the work, I showed up during my college career and boom!

Two:

I’m not famous and I didn’t have a film project to talk about while munching shrimp hors d’oeuvres and sipping Moscow mules while mingling outside pre-show with hundreds of people. This sort of “not-having” thing can make you feel less-than, like you haven’t done the work and you haven’t shown up to your own talent. You have to be where you are … where you are. (Feel me?) You may not be the superstar of the moment. But you’ve gotta remember you ARE a superstar. You DO shine just by being present and compassionate and you. I know I’m a great connector. I know I’m fantastic at making people feel comfortable and included. I know my dazzling smile can be a beacon of light in a sea of faces who aren’t. So this is where I show up. Where I stand in my power and in my worth, because it is mine. Where I am right now. I encourage you to do the same. I don’t care if your Spirit Awards is your monthly book club, quarterly parent-teacher’s dinner, Wednesday night yoga class or a +1 to a Black Tie Gala. Show up as you are.

And I’m gonna tell you, I had to remind myself of this even while I was there. I was heading back to my table from a between-awards bathroom run and there in front of me was the fabulous Marisa Tomei, dressed in fab, black full skirt and what seemed like a punk rock t-shirt. My heart started to race, because I love her so much, but I had to act like I was sort of a peer and not a fan, because its the spirit of the Spirit Awards so I stood really tall (taller than her) on my red stilettos and did the polite “Hollywood Look Away”. But I couldn’t help it; when I passed her I sooo wanted to be her senior graduation best friend, that I literally, like hung my head a little and whispered, “Hey Marisa.” I’m certain next time we see each other we’ll be BFFs and sign each other’s cell phone cases.

One more thing, please? I know this is long.

When you do show up, look amazing. Why? Because, looking good really does make you feel good. For this year’s Spirit Awards, I wore this navy blue long gown accompanied with my mom’s vintage jacket she has had since I was a baby. Now, I hadn’t worn that dress since Landi’s 40th birthday ball, which means I hadn’t really worn the dress for five years ago. As I was getting dressed, I remembered how great my curves used to look in the dress, but now I had a speedbump in my stomach area that wasn’t there before. Grrrr. I had to wear the jacket to cover the eight pounds I’m not used to having.

Fortunately and unfortunately, I still see myself as a 40 year old, so really, I’m doing myself a disservice to think I’m the same body from that time. I’m not dancing in my underwear regularly; my life is different, I’ve been through a lot of different stuff, so why wouldn’t my body look different? After that struggle of acceptance, I had to deal with my face. Argh.

Based on my experience in this industry, one subtle difference between a celebrity person, or a person who’s meant to be somewhere is their makeup. Don’t judge me. It’s a truth in this industry. Think of it as a track athlete who shows up to a meet in Keds versus spikes. Or when I showed up for my first Luvabull’s audition in shorts and a tank top. Doesn’t mean the person ain’t worth nothin’, just means they aren’t ready, haven’t gotten the memo, and ain’t gonna be on the red carpet today.

Somehow I expertly sabotaged myself and didn’t give myself enough time to do my own makeup properly. So, I never got my lashes on. I never found my liquid base which magically disappeared and resulted in me turning the bathroom upside down only to accept defeat of not having it and succumbing to using primer and powder (so not dewy!)….and being late. Honestly guys, looking and feeling your best is a form of showing up. This sort of thing is something we can control. I know it is hard to show up well when some of these things cost money; especially when that money is needed to go towards rent and not a cut, color and blow dry. To that end, I urge you to get creative. On Facebook, I’m in a support group for women artists and the like. Lots of times, a makeup artist will barter her brush for services from a videographer or editor to help her make branded tutorial videos. Or a person who knows how to garden will barter her green thumb for pet sitting from a dog walker. The list goes on. Find a way.

My friend Yvonne showed up. She had a makeup person and she looked and I imagine, felt fab. And right when we arrived, she seriously was whisked aside by a photographer for a photo! #winning. This is how you learn from your friends and get inspired.

Our awesome table

Matt smiling because I made him

See Yvonne’s fab makeup?

These three ladies all nominated for Best First Screenplay

And me!

Regina King Winning

Our new friend

Ok, that’s the end of my lesson of “What I learned by showing up at The Spirit Awards”. I hope you’re fulfilled and inspired. Until next time.

  What I learned by showing up at the Spirit Awards On February 23rd, on what thankfully turned out to be a sunny day in Los Angeles, I walked into the heavily guarded, star-studded gates of what is possibly The Oscars for some in attendance: The…

[chelsiealvin-blog]

The Overall Wedding Planning Process

I am a planner. Obviously if you have read any of my other articles, I LIVE to plan. Planning my own wedding was going to be just as fun right? Just a month after getting engaged and with the declining health of my Grandfather we decided to get married in one year in June 2016. We started by researching florists, day of coordinators and bakeries; the stress of planning really set in. Within a month, with a little luck, we found this incredible company called John Michael Event Services. I knew that I wanted to be involved with the personal things like our cake topper and guest book; but I realized I  REALLY needed help with the everything else.

We had a strict budget of 13K for our wedding, so we went in with low hopes that they could assist us. To our surprise, they offered us a customized event planning bundle at 10K to include a custom cake, wedding planner, day of coordinator, custom floral, catering and drinks. We were lucky enough to have friends do our DJ and photography services for free. We signed the paperwork that day and we immediately felt relieved. The wedding planner planned every single appointment for us; we would just show up and pick out what we wanted. They even spaced out payments for our wedding throughout the year to make it even easier on us.

  Before we get started on this nonsense of weddings. Take away this one piece of advice.

The VERY FIRST THING you need to pick up is large 10 gallon Tupperware bins. The bins saved my life. Put these somewhere you can easily reach them and as items come in the mail for your wedding, pop them into the bins. This way everything is packed for your planner or wedding party to put out on your wedding day. Even use these bins to store ALL of your paperwork. TRUST ME.

The Venue – 1 Year Away from our Wedding Day!

After booking our Wedding Planner/Coordinator, one year out we needed to pick our venue. We looked at only one venue; we knew when we walked through the door. Lake Mary Events Center in Lake Mary, Florida is an incredible venue. It featured a beautiful rotunda with high glass windows overlooking Lake Mary. It took our breaths away from the moment we walked into the building. Our ceremony was to be held in the beautiful rotunda just after sunrise, our reception in their grand ballroom.

Food, Flowers, Music, Cake and THE DRESS! – Eight months away from our Wedding Day!

A few months after booking our venue, our wedding planner scheduled us a meeting to pick out our flowers, food and cake. We also met with our DJ to pick out different songs to play during the event. OH and I bought my dress! You always want to get your dress with as MUCH time as possible, with all of the stress my weight fluctuated a lot and I need alterations to my dress.

Flowers – I went with lambs ear and light colored peonies. I really wanted to stick to lighter colors, to go with the morning/breakfast vibe.

The Dress – I didn’t actually have a plan for what I wanted my dress to look like. My Man of Honor actually picked out my dress, forced me into and I fell in love with it. He picked out a beautiful ball gown layered with tulle.

Music – was pretty easy too. My husband to be and I turned on music in our living room and wrote down each song we wanted for the different parts of the event. We sent the list over to our DJ and POOF that was checked off our list.

The very best part? Picking out the food! Andrew and I wanted a brunch wedding, so we decided on a Make Your Own Waffle Bar, unlimited bacon and unlimited mimosas. CAN’T GO WRONG WITH THAT! (plus breakfast food is a LOT cheaper than serving dinner)

The cake – We still wanted to keep with our brunch vibe here. We picked out a citrus, orange flavored cake with cream cheese frosting. YUM.

It’s all in the details – Four months away from out Wedding Day!

Some of the smaller things I of course wanted to do myself. We included a custom wedding hashtag #herecomethealvins and printed it on mostly everything we made, this way all photos that our guests posted we were able to see later on! The small details do not have to be expensive either, we mostly used the Dollar Tree and Oriental Trading Company. I ordered everything online, had it delivered to my door, packed it away in our large Tupperware bins for our wedding planner and POOF it was done.

A photo booth – Our photographer snapped soooo many cute photos of our guests! Get creative with it! We picked out a Flamingo Themed booth! I purchased the photo booth props from Esty as a PDF ($10) and printed them at Staples for another $5. We included some dollar tree items as well, a feather boa and inflatable bird.

A guest book – This doesn’t have to be a traditional book, we ended up using our favorite board game! We got it on sale for about $30 and picked up two sharpies for guests to sign.

Cake topper – We had custom bride and groom flamingos made for the top of our cake. This was the MOST expensive thing we purchased. We picked them up off Etsy for $30.

Guest favors – Something small (and cheap) we hand folded paper boxes, filled with colorful tissue paper and placed a small gold animal. The small gold animals matched the larger version in the reception as “table numbers.” A guest favor/place card! The cardboard boxes came from the dollar tree ($50), tulle from Michael’s ($15) and plastic animals from the dollar tree ($25).

A unity ceremony of some sort – We used a Tree Planting Ceremony for ours. Each guest was invited to place dirt in the pot so show their support as we planted the tree to show the foundation and strength of our relationship. We brought a pot and watering can from home and picked up the plant from IKEA.

Signage – We had plenty of different signs throughout our wedding. A welcome sign, photo booth entrance, small table signs. These are easy to purchase! We bought everything from Etsy for around $50.

Small treats – A LOT of people are using a candy bar in their weddings, but we wanted something brunch themed! We purchased the same containers as a candy bar, but filled them with fun cereal. We folded small pink popcorn containers with our hashtag sticker on the front, so guests were able to make their perfect mix.

I had custom newspapers printed! Around $100 for 100 copies, we had a company print a custom wedding newspaper printed. Each small article was about someone in our wedding party, funny stories about how we met and tons of pictures of our pup. There was even a word search on the back and we passed out Starbucks gift cards for winners!

Menus – During the reception I printed out menus on card stock (costing around $15 at Staples) and created a word search on the back. We also had custom pencils made with our hashtag (you can get these from Oriental Trading Company for $15).

All of the other events that come with Weddings – One month before our Wedding Day!

I was actually shocked to know that it’s just not your wedding day you are planning for. There are so many more smaller events that take place to celebrate for upcoming marriage. A month before our wedding I had a bacholrette party with friends, a bridal shower with family, an engagement party, a rehearsal event and I planned a bridal party slumber party the night before my wedding

(I will be posting all of these events separately later on).

Weddings are EXHAUSTING.

Take your time and enjoy all of the wedding festivities. OH! And take lots of photos!

Our wedding planner was INCREDIBLE; she was there with us the entire process of planning and the stress the day of. Even if you think you will not need a planner, please consider it! Even with my passion of planning events, I needed her more than I could imagine on my big day! We were surprised how much we actually NEEDED a planner.

There are two large things that I have gathered from my own wedding and for those weddings I have helped out at throughout the years.

First, delegate but delegate selectively! Rely on your bridal party and your family to come through for you, but make sure you are demanding on what you actually WANT. A lot of family remembers have their own ideas and values for what a wedding should be/have, it’s your wedding; do not let anyone (including family) push you into anything that will not make you happy.

Second, it’s all about the details. You can have a beautiful venue and you can have a perfect dress; but it is all about the tiny details that make your wedding special. Things like a special cake topper and guest favors make ALL the difference when it comes to making your day special. These small details do not have to be expensive (you know how much I love the Dollar Tree), but they have to be personal for you and your spouse.

Smaller things that no one ever tells you that will change your day

Pack spare clothes in your “getaway car” do not let anyone move them

Pack valet money in your “getaway bag” you do not want to have to park in a parking garage at a hotel and have to carry your dress and your belongings five miles to the lobby. You are tired and you deserve it

Go to David’s Bridal and get your dress there. You will get your dream dress for cheap, along with a PACKAGE OF COUPONS for discounted tux rentals and spa treatments for your ladies

Do not spend money on a nice wedding band for your husband, you will eventually have to get it replaced���.several times

Use a poster board and sticky notes to map out your reception guest seating (they are easier to move around)

On your wedding night (after parking in valet) go into the hotel lobby in your dress – you will immediately be upgraded to a fancy room with free drinks

Brides listen. You will miss out on your guests arriving and your bridal party walking down the aisle. You are going to want to have someone film this for you

Drive to the Courthouse 60 days before your wedding to pick up your license and take the pre-marriage consoling; it will save you $30

Make sure you officiant fills out the form correctly or you will have to get it re-signed. You can send this in the mail, instead of having to worry about dropping it off on your Honeymoon

Do not screw around with your birth control. Let it do what it needs to do. Do not change your routine weeks before and have your period on your wedding night!

Take two honeymoons. You and your hubby are two different people; plan a week for each of you. (We stayed in a cabin and hiked for my honeymoon; we went on a beach cruise for his). You are exhausted from all of the festivties, you DESRVE to take some time off.

Use VISTA PRINT for everything wedding related. Wedding invites, announcements, thank you cards, even the hashtag stickers. Having everything printed through them was cheaper, they shipped everything right to my door.

I know this is all over whelming. Trust me though, keep this list!

Remember though, it’s your day. It’s all about you and your spouse. Spend the day with each other and enjoy every single moment! I would love to hear about your wedding below!! 

  Weddings are stressful, beautiful, WONDERFUL and a whole LOT of work. The Overall Wedding Planning Process I am a planner. Obviously if you have read any of my other articles, I LIVE to plan.

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 43 - 48

DAY FORTY-THREE

8:45 AM - Wow. Determined to not spend a boatload of money this week. I picked the wrong time for a coffee subscription to kick in as well as buy IKEA stuff AND go to Costco. I grab my brown rice from the fridge and head to work.

9:10 AM - I arrive at work, pour myself a toddy, and make some toast. I pour the last batch so I make more for the rest of the week.

12:30 PM - I walk the long way to Sprouts and grab a cucumber and two avos which are on sale. I bring them back to the office and make salad with the rest of the stuff I have lying around and eat that with my broth & rice. $1.72

3:00 PM - My period is definitely approaching because I can’t stop craving something sweet. I grab my assistant and we head to Starbucks and I buy a coffee Frappuccino with coconut milk. I’ve got a gift card from forever ago, so it’s free!

4:00 PM - I ask boyfriend about dinner. He says, “we’ll see,” which means we’re probably going out to eat. My hyperness has lead me to the vegan baking part of Pinterest and I realize I have almost everything at home to make carrot cake.

4:50 PM - I dip out a little early and walk to Sprouts. I buy powdered sugar, a tub of Tofutti cream cheese, nutmeg, and apple sauce. $9.70

5:45 PM - While the cake is baking, I eat a pita with some butter slathered on it.

7:00 PM - CAKE! I fucked up the frosting though and consult a vegan Facebook group for tips. I try again it comes out much better. I peel off the old frosting and add the new.

9:00 PM - We haven’t eaten dinner yet and while I’m not actually hungry, I go with it. We run to Chipotle really quick and I get a salad with black beans, veggies, corn, pico, and guac. Boyfriend pays.

10:30 PM - Today’s weird eating habits make sense to me because my period is finally here.  

11:00 PM - Boyfriend and I fall asleep watching a rerun of the final Celtics v. Wizards game.

DAY FORTY-THREE TOTAL: $11.42

DAY FORTY-FOUR

8:30 AM - I wake up feeling like I was hit by a brick, usually my periods aren’t too bad but since this urinary tract stuff, it’s been very unpredictable. I hop in the shower and am excited to try the new conditioners I purchased from LUSH last week. I follow the advice of the lady who sold me the products and use the samples first.

9:15 AM - I arrive at work and I decide that I like the conditioner! My hair smells like baby powder and it feels nice and soft. The only thing I am worried about with this stuff is the cost and that it overall might not be worth it to me. I pour myself some toddy and toast some bread and spread some avocado on top.

11:15 AM - My 11:00 cancelled and my office wants to try the Chicken Chips from Taco Bell. Taco Bell is an exception to eating out Monday - Thursday since it’s so cheap. I get a Crunchwrap Supreme sub beans, no cheese, no sour cream and a water cup. $3.55

2:30 PM - I keep thinking about all the carrot cake I have at home while I dig a little deeper into my Discover Weekly playlist. There is a jam by Psychic TV, so I look to see the cost of the record and it’s $40. A little rich for my blood, so I decide to listen to the entire thing to see if it’s worth it.

4:45 PM - I roll up to QT on below empty. $24.64

5:00 PM - Home! I eat so much cake. Boyfriend calls and asks if I have it in me to go to Tucson to see Conor Oberst and I definitely am! It’s been years since I’ve seen him perform.

6:00 PM - We head to Tucson for the show and end up taking my car just in case boyfriend gets tired so I can drive us back. (He drives a stick and I don't know how to drive it.) His company booked the show so we don’t have to pay for it. Double perks because he also used to work at the venue the show is happening at and left on great terms, so everyone is super friendly to us.

8:30 PM - We arrive at the show. Boyfriend needs a water so we stop by concessions. They give it to him for free. He doesn't have cash so I offer to throw in a buck for tip. $1

10:00 PM - The show is amazing! I run into a friend from Omaha (my hometown) who is selling merch for Conor and she gifts me with a engraved commemorative harmonica. So sweet of her.

12:30 AM - We are home! I eat blueberries, applesauce and a half of a pita and pass out.

DAY FORTY-FOUR TOTAL: $28.19

DAY FORTY-FIVE

8:30 AM - I am so wiped, but driving to Tucson was so worth it!  

9:15 AM - I arrive at the office and pour myself a toddy and make a piece of toast with Earth Balance. I sit down to my desk and see that I have an invitation from Facebook to participate in a research study and will get a $100 Amazon gift card if they pick me. I reply quickly and fill out the NDA.

10:30 AM - I work on my stuff while continuing to listen to that Psychic TV album. Only half of it is on Youtube and it’s not on Spotify, so I might just cave for the sake of “obscurity.” I take a chance one one of the listings which allows sellers to make an offer. It’s listed for $44 and make an offer of $35. The seller instantly accepts and I am still paying $40 including shipping, but hey at least that’s the median price it sells for and not $10 more. $40

1:00 PM - I walk to Sprouts super quick and grab a Big Sur Breakfast Burrito and a giant tub of nutritional yeast (It will last me 6 months.) which are both on sale so I save $6.50. $22.09

1:30 PM - I eat my burrito with some broth & rice. Facebook emails me back and wants me to do the research study. Yay $100 (upon completion)!

5:45 PM - I arrive home and see that my dress from Etsy came. I try it on and it’s a total winner! I eat a small slice of cake, watch the East Coast Finals with my boyfriend, and dip out to meet some friends for dinner.

7:30 PM - I meet my friend and his new girlfriend at Noodle Bar downtown. We take our time dining and it’s really fun and super nice to see my friend with someone who seems to be evenly paced with him. He bought me a record in LA so I pay him back for it. $8

9:00 PM - Our server cashes (apparently that’s not a word) us out. Food’s 9 something but I feel weird tipping anything under 3. $12

10:30 PM - My boyfriend shows me the first episode of Trailer Park Boys and I get it now, but I still think it’s stupid.

DAY FORTY-FIVE TOTAL: $82.09

DAY FORTY-FIVE

8:45 AM - I refill my half gallon mason jar with broth and head to work.

9:15 AM - Toddy and toast. Same old routine.

1:15 PM - I’ve spent three hours straight in meetings. My boss heads to Even Stevens for food and offers to buy mine since I make a cringy face about spending money on lunch Monday - Thursday (and because I kicked our last meeting in the butt!). I get the Jackfruit Torta. It rules.

4:20 PM - Broth life with brown rice. Will this keep me from eating more cake when I get home? Probably not.

5:30 PM - Cake. I eat some applesauce too.

7:00 PM - My boyfriend is feeling pretty good after the launch of ticket sales for the new venue his company is opening, so we go to AZ Mills. We’re surprised to find that the entire Nike Store is 40% off. He ends up buying two pairs of shoes, a pair of basketball shorts, and a ridiculous shirt with Michael Jordan on it for me.

8:30 PM - We stop by Zia to look at records. I don’t find anything, but I’m also not complaining.

9:00 PM - I am up for whatever in terms of food, so I let boyfriend pick and we end up at Chipotle. I get my usual -- a salad with black beans, veggies, corn, pico, and guac with medium salsa on the side. We take home our food and I drizzle a little ranch on top -- I know, sounds gross but don’t knock until you try it. I cover our food. Dang Chipotle is cheap! $14.05

9:30 PM - We spend the rest of the night watching really ancient basketball games. I pass out a little after 10.

DAY FORTY-FIVE TOTAL: $14.05

DAY FORTY-SIX

9:20 AM - I arrive to work a little late this morning on account of having to shower badly. I pour myself a toddy and skip the toast. I’m still really full from last night. I have a ton of really tiny things to do today which is the least favorite part of my job. I sit down, make a list, and start plugging away.

11:45 AM - Office decides to grab lunch at Olive & Ivy. I get a salad with couscous, almonds, onion, and tomato and decide to jump the gun and try a sangria. I wasn’t going to drink until next Friday but I’ve been missing it so bad. $25.59

1:30 PM - I’m not sure if that sangria was worth it and I’m probably still too sensitive. I take some Midol which should calm my bladder down because it feels a little agitated.

2:00 PM - My first MistoBox subscription has arrived! I have 1.5 more pounds of super old coffee to go through before I can start using the new stuff, but it smells so good and I’m very excited!

3:00 PM - Phew! Feeling better. I also heat up some broth for good measure.

5:45 PM - Home from work! I make plans to grab dinner with a friend who just graduated from ASU. She basically put herself through school with no parents (literally) and is planning to move to Chicago. I cut her a check to help with the move and to congratulate her. I’ll also treat her to the dinner place of her choice. $100

6:00 PM - My friend arrives at my house. We head to Phoenix and dine at Crescent Ballroom where my boyfriend actually happens to be working. We don’t really see him because, you know, he’s working. Our food takes a while to come out and it gets comped. I make our server charge us for something so I can tip the shit out of her. She charges $1.09 for the chips and I tip $15 on top. $16.09

8:30 PM - We head back to Tempe and grab a drink at Casey’s. My friend doesn’t drink and grabs a ginger beer. I decide to take another chance and get a cider with a water. $10.50

10:00 PM - I drop my friend off and head home. I spend the rest of the night finishing season 2 of LOVE and texting my boyfriend who seems to have gotten stuck working the later event at Crescent which is a Beyonce vs. Rihanna DJ tribute night. Apparently tons of sassy ladies in stiletto heels are getting thrown out left and right!

DAY FORTY-SIX: $152.18

DAY FORTY-SEVEN

9:30 AM - I am surprised to find that my boyfriend is already awake. I thought we’d be sleeping until 11 because of his hectic week, but he is ready to hit the town. We head to Cartel and get a tiny hookup on our drinks from a new employee my boyfriend has made friends with. $6.50

10:30 AM - We head over to combo Einstein’s Caribou to grab bagels. Boyfriend pays.

11:00 AM - Since the Nike Store was 40% on Thursday, we head back over to AZ Mills only to discover they’ve changed it to 30%. Boyfriend buys two pairs of kicks, and then we head to the Adidas Outlet. I buy a shirt there. $18.95

11:30 AM - We head to Central Phoenix stopping at a couple record stores and bookstores, but both come up dry.

2:30 PM - Boyfriend wants Sweet Tomatoes, and I’m okay with it. I eat so fast and feel like death. He covers the tab and I leave a couple bucks on the table. $2

3:30 PM - Post Sweet Tomatoes nap because it’s basically mandatory.

5:00 PM - I wake up and make my way to the kitchen and eat the last piece of cake because I’m groggy and don’t have an excuse. I look outside at the weeds and start to get stressed. The dishes are piling up, dust is literally settling, and we haven’t folded laundry in what feels like a decade. But then I see while scrolling through Facebook my favorite local hardcore band (Gay Kiss) released its final 7”. I buy it. $9.50

5:15 PM - Why did I eat that cake?

5:30 PM - I clean the counters, do the dishes, and take out the trash. Boyfriend wakes up and we fold laundry together while watching the first half of the GSW v. Spurs game.

8:00 PM - We head out to grab some dinner. Originally we planned to hit La Santisima, but it’s too busy so we run over to Phoenix Public Market. We both get their veggie sandwich and he gets fries. I cover the tab. $31.06

9:30 PM - We end up going back to Zia in Central Phoenix and spend a long time browsing through movies. We end up finding the very expensive Criterion section and we both pick some titles and split them. I get Rosemary’s Baby and after a 20% coupon and using my points, it comes out to a more reasonable price. $16.28

10:30 PM - We arrive home,  I make some popcorn on the stove, and we watch Moonrise Kingdom together -- neither of us had seen it before. It was so good.

1:00 AM - I browse for Suzy dresses on Etsy and pass out.

DAY FORTY-SEVEN TOTAL: $84.29

DAY FORTY-EIGHT

11:00 AM - We leave the house and pick up coffee, (Boyfriend pays.) and head to Zia to kill a couple minutes before meeting our friends at La Santisima for lunch.

12:00 PM - I get the fried avocado taco and a gandhi vegan taco. It’s nice to catch up with friends -- they invite us to go for beers after but my boyfriend comes up with an excuse because he’s not feeling well.

1:30 PM - I have been working on this e-commerce project for a while and saving up to launch it. My designer finally sent the revised designs earlier this week so I spend the rest of my afternoon making ref files and learning my way around the Live Paint Tool in Illustrator.

5:00 PM - Designs sent! Wow I hate Illustrator.

5:30 PM - We watch the Cavs v. Celtics game and order Jimmy Johns. At half time, I get bored so I make snickerdoodle cookies. $17.99

8:00 PM - Celtics hit a three at the buzzer and they win! Plus the cookies are great. Boyfriend and I each eat three.

9:00 PM - We head to Bookmans in Mesa but both leave empty handed.

10:00 PM - We end the night by watching a 30 for 30 documentary about Wayne Gretzky.

DAY FORTY-EIGHT TOTAL: $17.99