#to this lonely man who thinks he is unworthy of everyone's love & time & is so buried under his own self-loathing & disgust

[wingedaches]

assassin's apprentice // royal assassin // fool's quest

[hoonieyun]

lie to girls

pairing: park sunghoon x reader “y/n”

genre: angst, drama

warning: toxic relationship, toxic boyfriend!sunghoon, adult themes, suggestive, overall 18+

summary: throughout your whole relationship with sunghoon, lies were a common thing. he often lied about where he was, who he was with, lied about how he would change for the better, and even more frequently, lied and said whatever he needed to make you stay. you, on the other hand, were also a liar. lied to your friends and family that sunghoon was a good man, lied to yourself that you believed him when he said he would change, and lied to convince yourself that he loved you. 

notes: sabrina carpenter… the power your pen holds… wow! a bit of an angsty drabble until i release the first part of ritual! (bold and italics are song lyrics) enjoyyy

word count: 1450

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹୨୧⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹୨୧⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚

Girls will cry and girls will lie and

Girls will do it 'til they die for you

you didn’t understand why you were the way you were. maybe it’s because your parents never had a good relationship, constantly fighting behind closed doors but the moment they noticed you were around they would act like they were the happiest, most perfect couple. 

or whenever you’d catch your mom crying while she folded the laundry while your dad was on the recliner drinking another can of beer and you’d ask her if she was okay and why she was crying. she’d either brush you off and tell you to go play with your toys or tell you that “mommy is okay, she just has something in her eye.” you didn’t know better than and you didn’t know better now. 

so here you were, eyes blurry as tears began to cascade down your rosy cheeks and land on your phone as you text your friend updates about what’s been going on with you and your boyfriend, sunghoon. you and sunghoon had been fighting all weekend, this being your 4th fight and it’s only 2 weeks into the month. you were telling your friend about how he’d constantly come home late, never updates you on his whereabouts, and would see that his friends would post photos online of all of them surrounded by girls, including sunghoon. when you confronted him about it he turned it on you, saying that the only reason he goes out so much was because you were so clingy and that you never let him do what he liked. 

the tears on your phone got so unbearable that it became difficult to type as the tears would spread across the keyboard and click on random letters, making your sentence unreadable. you toss your phone across you and sunghoon’s shared room, your phone making a slight cracking sign as it made contact with the wall. you were so sick and tired of constantly fighting with him, it’s draining and you truly didn’t know when your relationship began to go off the deep end. 

sunghoon was the perfect man, or he used to be. 

now you just wasted your time trying to convince yourself and everyone around you that he still was even though everyone could tell that your relationship was falling apart. 

your relationship had various cracks, scratches, scruffs, and fissures. you used to think that it could be fixed but no amount of tape or glue could patch up the damage that had been done. at this point, you were just waiting for it to be over. too scared to break it off yourself because you feared that no one else would love you the way he did, even though he didn’t anymore. you felt that you were unworthy of love and would rather settle with whatever you have with sunghoon just for the sake of not dying alone. you were together with sunghoon, but more often than not, you felt lonely. 

All of your best excuses

No, they don't stand a chance

Against all the chances I give you

you forced yourself to get out of bed and out of your bedroom. the room had become so suffocating, the air becoming thick, and you felt like at any moment you would faint. your feet made soft pattering sounds as you walked down the stairs, sunghoon’s silhouette coming into view as you got closer to the living room. he had slept on the couch all weekend, refusing to see one another as every time you saw each other it would turn into a fight about how he was out late or how he would ignore your calls or texts. you knelt down next to sunghoon and brushed away some of the hair that had fallen across his face. softly caressing cheek when he suddenly shifts in his sleep you immediately retract your hand and stand up. another wave of sadness wafts through you as you realize this was the first time you could look at sunghoon and not feel the urge to fight or argue with him. 

you turned on your heel to leave and grab some water when he calls after you. “y/n?” he asks, his voice a bit raspy, probably to the several empty bottles of beer scattered on the floor and coffee table. “yeah..?” you say, refusing to turn around and look at him. afraid that if you do it might turn into a fight or you would start to cry. you remained at your spot as you could hear sunghoon getting up from his spot on the couch. you could hear some glass bottles softly clink against each other as he put them aside so he could move across the floor without stepping on any of them. 

“baby, are you still mad at me?” sunghoon says, hugging you from behind while he softly rubbed your arms. you sniffle, trying to prevent the tears from falling like they did many times before. you shut your eyes for a moment and a tear falls down. you quickly wipe it away before facing sunghoon. 

he looks at you with pleading eyes, the ones you fell in love with before; but now when you see them you’re reminded of all the other times he used this tactic, knowing you would fall for it because you were weak to him. you will never be strong enough. 

you hum in response and hug him back. your arms stretching over his shoulders as his grip on your waist gets tighter. he places a kiss on the crown of your head before resting his cheek on top of your head. you bury yourself in his chest and for once, in this moment, you feel secure. like everything was going to be okay. that the constant fighting didn’t exist and that all the problems you guys had been having suddenly dissolved. 

“you know i love you right? there’s no one for me but you, you know that right?” sunghoon says, looking down at you, watching your figure and waiting for a response. all he gets in return is a nod but it wasn’t enough for him. he needed to know that you were still his and that you believed him. 

“look at me.” sunghoon says but you hesitate, afraid that if you do you might burst into tears. you sniffle once again and remained unmoving from your position. sunghoon’s grip suddenly loosens from your waist as one of his arms move to your face. his large hand gripping your chin between his fingers as he makes you look up at him. “you know i love you right?” he says, this time emphasizing the last word. like he was forcing you to say it just to say it. 

“i do. i love you too.” you whisper while looking up at him. his eyes going from the soft and doe ones you fell in love with to a pair of darker and lustful eyes, like a predator stalking it’s prey. “let me show you how much i love you baby…” sunghoon says, hands trailing up to your neck as you places a kiss on your lips, tracing your jawline with kisses as he eventually makes his way to your neck. the two of you make your way back to the bedroom, once you arrive at the bottom of the stairs he instructs you to jump and so you do. sunghoon catches you, supporting your body on his with his strong arms. 

this was your routine. you’d fight, you try to convince yourselves you still love each other, and it would end with the two of you entangled in each other’s arms, unclothed and bare in your shared bedroom. sunghoon knew all the right things to say and the right things to do to make you stay. the same way you knew all the right things to do and say to convince yourself that it was okay you stayed. 

sunghoon didn’t have to try very hard to convince you that everything was going to be okay, because you did just fine doing that to yourself. convincing yourself that everything would simmer down and it would go back to normal. lying to yourself that you still loved him and that he loved you, because why wouldn’t the two of you still love each other. no one else could love you the way he did and vice versa. 

he loves you.

and you love him. 

you always will, whether that be the truth or not. 

You don't have to lie to girls

If they like you, they'll just lie to themselves

Don't I know it better than anyone else?

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹୨୧⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹୨୧⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚

copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved

all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.

credit to sabrina carpenter and writers of song "lie to girls"

[a-writer-on-elm-street]

hey 😳 idk if ur taking requests but if u are could u write brahms w a high energy s/o (fem) who’s really affectionate and also a bit touch starved 🫢 annnnnd not to be cheeky but could u add nsfw 👉👈 i want this man 🥹

brahms with a high energy S/O who's really affectionate and touch starved

a/n: thank you so much for the request, i literally love writing about my favourite wall boy so thank you for this! <3 i'm so sorry it took so long

pairing: brahms x fem!reader

warnings: slight nsfw

brahms has always lived a pretty quiet life, with him being quite reserved and all. he's rarely ever been outside the company of his parents, so it's safe to say it takes time for him to get used to living with you

you still abide by his rules, but he never anticipated you'd be such a handful

after you put him to bed on a night, he'll sometimes hear you bustling around the house, preparing things for the next day

he once caught you sneaking around the kitchen one night, a cereal box held against your chest as you were on your way to retrieve a bottle of water

whilst he sometimes gets annoyed at the constant disturbances at night, there is something that he likes about you. you're extremely affectionate

you're always taking every chance to pull him into a hug, and he never complains about that

brahms loves to cuddle

he especially loves it when you're both lying on the sofa, his head on your chest as you run your fingers through his hair

you also find that you love how much brahms loves affection, because you've spent a large portion of your life alone, desperate for any form of human connection. it wasn't until you found brahms that you found that connection

you practically spend all your time with him, going through his routines of course, but also just spending time together

he sometimes hangs around the kitchen while you cook, leaning against you when you're not dancing around the kitchen that is

he sees you doing that a lot, dancing to music that he isn't familiar with, but he enjoys watching you, because seeing you happy makes him happy

in terms of the two of you being sexual, it surprisingly doesn't take brahms too long to be comfortable with it

he keeps the mask on most of the time though

but when he finally feels safe enough to remove it, he does and it only makes you love him more

you always make sure to hold his face when you kiss him and he still finds himself surprised when he feels your fingers skate along his skin

he's spent his entire life feeling rejected by people, first with everyone thinking he's odd, and then with his own parents caring for a doll the way they should've cared for him

you don't treat him like he's weird or unworthy of being loved

you make sure he knows how much you care about him, be it by the way you're so gentle with him when you're intimate, or when you find yourself inviting him to dance with you in the kitchen

you're both perfect for each other─two lonely people who have found love and acceptance in one another, and you wouldn't have it any other way

[Main Masterlist]

[atopvisenyashill]

DAEMON BALLFYRE THEORY

it’s an unserious name but a serious theory!!!

WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT QUENTYN BALL

If Daemon had ridden over Gwayne Corbray . . . if Fireball had not been slain on the eve of battle . .

-small mention from eustace in the sword sword

For his hot head and red hair. Ser Quentyn Ball was the master-at-arms at the Red Keep. He taught my father and my uncles how to fight. The Great Bastards too. King Aegon promised to raise him to the Kingsguard, so Fireball made his wife join the silent sisters, only by the time a place came open, King Aegon was dead and King Daeron named Ser Willam Wylde instead. My father says that it was Fireball as much as Bittersteel who convinced Daemon Blackfyre to claim the crown, and rescued him when Daeron sent the Kingsguard to arrest him. Later on, Fireball killed Lord Lefford at the gates of Lannisport and sent the Grey Lion running back to hide inside the Rock. At the crossing of the Mandel, he cut down the sons of Lady Penrose one by one. They say he spared the life of the youngest one as a kindness to his mother.

-egg says this in the mystery knight, bolded parts mine

Daemon was the name Daena gave to this child, for Prince Daemon had been the wonder and the terror of his age, and in later days that was seen as a warning of what the boy would become. Daemon Waters was his full name when he was born in 170 AC. At that time, Daena refused to name the father, but even then Aegon's involvement was suspected. Raised at the Red Keep, this handsome youth was given the instruction of the wisest maesters and the best masters-at-arms at court, including Ser Quentyn Ball, the fiery knight called Fireball. He loved nothing better than deeds of arms and excelled at them, and many saw in him a warrior who would one day be another Dragonknight.

The king sent the Kingsguard to arrest Daemon before he could take his plans for treason any further. Daemon was forewarned, and with the help of the famously hot-tempered knight Ser Quentyn Ball, called Fireball, he was able to escape the Red Keep safely. Daemon Blackfyre's allies used this attempted arrest as a cause for war, claiming that Daeron had acted against Daemon out of no more than baseless fear. Others still named him Daeron Falseborn, repeating the calumny that Aegon the Unworthy himself was said to have circulated in the later years of his reign: that he had been sired not by the king but by his brother, the Dragonknight.

-these are both from TWOIAF, again bolded and italicized parts mine.

WHAT STICKS OUT TO ME

Quentyn is married, a landless knight, and clearly older than Daena - it’s not just about a man “spoiling” a young, royal maiden but imo also that Quentyn specifically would get in a LOT of trouble because he is low class (see: Bonifer & Rhaella) and married to boot

He was master at arms, which gives him the ability to be in Daemon’s life without arousing suspicion from anyone, and also proximity to Daena to allow for an affair, even with her on the Maidenvault.

He’s name dropped SEVERAL times and he’s clearly very important to the founding of the Blackfyre Rebellion despite being both very lowborn and also dying in a kinda lame way (not even during the battle, just by a lone archer)

He wanted so badly to be on the kingsguard he forced his wife into the Silent Sisters, only to be denied by Daeron

He seemed to be on good terms with Aegon IV

Everyone seems real sure that the daddy was Aegon and we’re not given a reason why

Aegon doesn’t claim Daemon as his bastard until after (presumably) Daena has died

Also, Aegon doesn’t claim Daemon as his bastard until after all of the Great Bastards have been born

EYE think that Aegon IV was purposefully trying to have a bastard that could challenge Daeron, and that his affairs weren’t just like lust, boredom, wanting to disrespect Naerys & Aemon, etc. There is, imo, a shift in his mistresses being just, any woman he has access to - Falena, Bellegere, Cassella, and Meg - to woman who are highborn maidens from powerful families in Westeros - the Blackwoods, Brackens, and Lothstons. Even Serenei fits in here, given that Targ-looking wives from Lys & Volantis are not uncommon before or after Aegon IV. He’s even mentioned as still having a role in Aegor’s life by visiting him, potentially trying to groom him to rebel. But then everything with the Brackens blows up in his face (which is his own fault tbc), and Brynden is an emo fuck with red eyes, and Shiera is a girl. Then Daena dies…..and an opportunity opens up. Daemon looks like a Targaryen, no one knows who the father is, but for some reason everyone already suspects him (imo this is due to Rhaenyra’s boys looking like Harwin - like just a misogyny thing that SURELY Daemon couldn’t get his look from his mother alone, look at Rhaenyra’s kids vs Alicent’s), so publicly claiming Daena’s child at last gives him the perfect rival against Daeron.

ALSO, we have a few times in the story where someone joins the Kingsguard to be closer to a woman they want to protect - Aemon & Naerys, Jaime & Cersei, and Loras & Margaery. I think Lewyn & Elia likely fall under this as well. I think it makes sense Quentyn would see joining the Kingsguard as an opportunity to be closer to both Daena & Daemon especially given his low class status; skilled knights can rise to the Kingsguard even from lowborn or baseborn backgrounds. ALSO ALSO again, our only evidence of Aegon IV being the dad is, ya know, Aegon himself. Daena stayed silent her entire life on the subject. I like to think she had a reason for this - not that she protecting Aegon, but that she was protecting Quentyn.

[milkycottoncandy]

Give Yourself To Me And More

Attuma of Talokan x Female!Reader

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ content, obsessive behavior, somewhat dark!Attuma, rough (consensual) sex, choking, tit slapping, breeding kink, dirty talk

Minors Do Not Interact!!!

Summary: Attuma liked to think he was a patient man. Being Talokan's commanding general has taught him how to stay composed in stressful situations, and for the most part he knows patience is a virtue. However, you test his limits everyday with your lingering touches, bright smile, and kind words that make it hard for him to hold back, to leave you untouched and still pure. But like all the strongest of men, eventually they must fall.

Word Count: 2,895

Skip to the three *** if all you want to read is the smut (I'm not judging at all lol).

Translations:

Ma', in querida- No, my darling

In yakunaj- my darling

Author's Note: Hello my Attuma sluts!! Decided to give you guys this and I hope y'all enjoy it. This is my first time writing smut so please, be nice! I will only accept constructive criticism and no hate will be tolerated. Besides that, please enjoy!

Do not steal, copy, plagiarize, or repost my works. Reblog's are fine.

🌊🦈🌊🦈🌊🦈🌊🦈🌊🦈🌊🦈🌊🦈🌊🦈🌊🦈

It felt like Chaac himself was testing him.

He was solely focused on making the surface world and all who inhabited it, who forced his people into the dark, cold, unforgiving depths of the ocean, pay for their crimes, all while being confronted by the dangers that were at every corner. Dangers like you.

To him, you were a radiant goddess, and this world was unworthy of your existence. You were always beautiful from the beginning, and it seemed like each time you both interacted with each other, his feelings became even stronger. What made it worse is you always focused your attention on him. You would bring him homemade lunches, offer to massage the aches in his body after he was done training, be the first to welcome him back after a successful mission, and so much more. It was a miracle he hadn't died from a heart attack with the way it always swelled when he was near you.

You were the light in his life, and it didn't help that you started to appear in his dreams and late-night fantasies, making him feel shameful the morning after. In his mind, he had taken you many times, taking pleasure from you like a lover. You were begging him, touching him, letting him touch you, making him feel less lonely when you weren't near him. You were the reason to keep Talokan safe. You were something worth fighting for. In his mind, you were his, and he was yours.

But reality would reel him back in, like a fish attached to a hook, and he would remember you were simply being the kind person you always were. You laughed and smiled with everyone, you were amazing with children, and you never hesitated to offer help when asked. It's like you were taunting him with your gentle affections, always holding his hand and pulling him to somewhere more private so you both could indulge yourselves in each other's lives. He loved when you would hug him, you felt so soft in his arms, and he would kill a thousand men if that meant never having to let you go. He adored you. If you told him to jump, he'd say how high.

You were enchanting.

You were mesmerizing.

You were a danger to his sanity and beyond distracting.

Attuma wondered how long this would go on. How long he would pine for you, yearn for your attention, for you to say his name like you loved him, pretend like the thought of someone else sweeping you off your feet wasn't possible. That was his worst fear, waiting too long and someone taking you from him. He would kill that person with no hesitation. Would there ever be an end to this madness? Was he doomed for eternity to feel this way about you? Would he be forced to act like you weren't the first thing on his mind when he woke up and the last thing when sleep would finally overtake him?

One night, he decided it was enough. You pushed him to the limit, and he was going to be honest with you about his feelings. On the way to your house, his mind was a sea of questions and doubts.

What if she doesn't feel the same way?

What if I ruin what we have?

What if she thinks I'm unworthy?

What will I do without her? Without my light?

By the time he got to your front door, he had thought of everything that could go wrong. For a moment, he wanted to turn back. He didn't want to lose you. He didn't want things to change in a way that would make you feel uncomfortable around him. Despite his uncertainty, he gently knocked on your door and waited.

You swiftly opened the door, and it was like all his thoughts drifted away into nothingness. You were wearing a blue silk nightgown that outlined your body perfectly, and Attuma had to control himself from staring at your cleavage. Your eyes brightened, and that smile that made him feel weak slowly adorned your face.

"Attuma!" you squealed in excitement and hugged him, digging your face into his neck. You smelled amazing, like vanilla with a hint of cinnamon.

He hugged you back and, for a moment, felt like maybe the world wasn't so bad since you were in it. He felt you pull back, and he looked to see you admiring him. You both stilled, and, in a way, were speaking to each other with your eyes. You both had been friends for so long that verbal communication wasn't always necessary.

"Please, come in" you slide your hands down his arms to his, gently pulling him into your house. He followed willingly, and once he was fully inside, you closed the door behind him.

 Attuma loved your house. The beautiful decorations, the smell, the atmosphere. Everything.

Your light touch to his back shook him out of his thoughts, and you led him to the familiar couch you both have sat on more times than he could count. You relaxed into the cushions while facing him with a smile, which he returned.

"What brings you here, my warrior?" you asked, taking his hand and delicately tracing his palm while you waited for his answer. Namora and K'uk'ulkan were right. You were going to be the death of him.

Attuma felt like he had fallen into ice water. He remembered the reason why he was here, to tell you how he felt. At this rare moment, the fearless general was scared. A part of him wanted to lie, come up with an excuse that he wanted to simply talk with you, and that was all. But you didn't deserve that. No, you deserved everything and so much more. He quietly swallowed, and he braced himself for all the possible scenarios that could happen.

"Y/N, I have to tell you something," he stated, taking your hands in his and scooting closer toward you on the couch.

He never took his eyes off yours, and you felt your body tingling under his gaze. He could sense your nervousness and continued with his confession.

"I have strong feelings for you, Y/N. Feelings stronger than love. Feelings I can't hide from you anymore."

The room was silent. You looked at him with a mix of shock and surprise. His face was serious and unchanging. Attuma didn't like this, and the doubts started to rear their ugly heads back into his mind.

You idiot, you really thought she would feel the same? Now she's gonna hate you forever, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Attuma wanted to leave. Leave and never come back. He knew this was a bad idea. He shouldn't have let his selfishness get the better of him. And now he was going to lose you forever. He was going to lose you, and it would be no one's fault but his. Why would he ever thi-

"I feel the same," you whispered. He thought he was dreaming. He had to be. He was going to wake up in his empty bed and realize none of this was real.

Oh, but it was real. Here you were, looking at him with nothing but love and understanding. You smiled, not in a mocking way, but in a genuine way. You had felt strongly about Attuma since the day you laid your eyes on him. You dropped so many hints that, to you, went unnoticed. The soft touches, the persisting looks, the sincere compliments, and so much more. In your mind, he was yours, and you were his. Your body felt like it was on fire, excitement slowly bubbling inside you.

Attuma didn't know what to say. The girl of his dreams admitted that she felt the same about him. He was like a deer in headlights, still and unmoving.

Say something, you fool.

"…You do?" he breathed, his eyes slowly softened.

Chaac, you're hopeless.

"I do," you answered, your tone was nothing but sincere.

The sight was laughable, two love-stricken fools gazing into each other's eyes like lovesick puppies. But you and Attuma didn't care. He loved you, and you loved him, and that's all that mattered.

Attuma paused. He didn't think this would happen. He knew every battle strategy, where and when to strike the enemy, how to keep them in a position where they couldn't win, but being with you, it's like he forgot everything. But he did know one thing. He wanted you.

He wanted you bad.

"May I kiss you, Y/N?" he pleaded desperately. Of course, he was a gentleman, and if you said no, he would be perfectly fine with that. For you, he would wait as long as you believed he needed to.

"Yes," you replied, ecstatic and smiling so hard your mouth started to hurt.

***

He gently grabbed your face, and your lips collided with his, moving in perfect sync like waves against the shore. It started off innocent but gradually became more animalistic and primal, and soon you were straddling his waist while his large hands cupped your ass. You decided to tease him by grinding on his manhood, causing a low groan to emit from his throat that made your pussy shiver. He teased you back by pulling your hair, revealing your neck, and started to litter the area with kisses and love bites, going lower and lower. You uncontrollably moaned, unaware of his hands drifting up toward the straps of your nightgown. He suddenly yanked down both the straps and massaged your breasts, uttering a groan while massaging the soft skin in his hands.

"So beautiful for me," he praised, his large hand wrapping around your throat, making you whimper. 

You moaned like a whore. A dirty, filthy whore. And Attuma wanted all of it. He wanted all of you.

"Attuma," you whispered, eyelids growing heavy as you struggled to stay conscious. It felt like he was squeezing the life out of you, and you felt your vision start to cloud until he roughly pulled you towards him.

"Ma', querida, you're not getting out of this that easily," he slapped your breast, making you scream. He then kissed your hot skin as an apology.

Suddenly, you felt yourself being lifted by the giant brute and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs, somewhat around his large waist. He swiftly made his way towards your bedroom, eyes never leaving yours. When he reached your room, he gently laid you on your bed, and you shivered, questioning what his next move would be. Silently, he slid your nightgown off your body, leaving you in your blue panties that were soaked with your arousal. For some reason, you felt self-conscious, and your hands were attempting to shield your body from his gaze. 

"Don't you dare," he warned, and you listened without hesitation, your hands retreating back to your sides.

Attuma then made his way on top of you, touching and kissing every part of your body. He eventually made his way to your underwear, and he bit down on the material, slowly pulling them off and revealing your wetness. You gasped at the sight. You couldn't believe this was happening. Without warning, he raised your legs and rested them upon his shoulders, his mouth only inches away from your pussy.

Just as you were about to beg him, you shrieked as he licked your cunt. Your eyes widened, and you screamed as Attuma clamped his mouth around your clit and sucked relentlessly, rolling the bud with his tongue and making your legs shake. You were instantly wet, juices gushing out of you. Lewd noises filled the room as he devoured you, mixed with your vulgar profanities while you desperately grinded on his tongue. 

You trembled under him, reduced to nothing but a panting mess as you could do nothing but take it. You held onto the bed sheets for dear life and sobbed as he gave you the best orgasm you've ever had. 

Attuma drank every drop of your wetness, feeling your pussy shake against his lips. He could've stayed between your legs forever, but he had bigger plans to get to. 

Begrudgingly, he released your clit from his mouth and laid your legs down. He slowly moved back to the edge of the bed and stood tall, admiring his work. He wiped his mouth and started to undress, and you caught a glimpse of his battle scars covering his body. He truly was magnificent. 

Your eyes moved further down to his cock. It was hard and girthy, and you noticed precum oozing out of the tip. You swallowed. This was going to be a night to remember. He climbed back onto the bed and hovered over you, rubbing his dick against your pussy. Nothing could brace you for what was about to happen next.

You screamed as he slammed himself inside you, stretching you open and filling you up. You looked to see your belly bulging with the shape of his cock, it was completely obscene. 

Attuma groaned; you were so deliciously tight around him, your soft walls pulling him in as he rutted up against you. He grabbed your hips with a bruising force and pulled you impossibly closer, your tits flushed against his chest. He fit inside you so perfectly, and you took him so well, it made him wonder why he had waited. He should have done this a long time ago.

He set a brutal pace as he repeatedly pounded into you, causing the bed to shake and your eyes to roll back. He couldn't take his eyes off the way your pussy engulfed his dick with each thrust. You looked so dumb and pretty, just like in his fantasies he imagined and touched himself to in the late hours of the night. Your moans were sweeter than any siren song, and Attuma wanted to hear you sing for him more.

"You're so wet," he grunted,  pulling out and slamming back in.

"You're a little slut, aren't you? This is what you wanted all along, isn't that right?" You shook your head and cried, it was too much, and you screamed as his dick continued smacking against your womb.

"A-Attuma, please slow down. You're going to break me!" You wailed, trying to push him away.

"I. Don't. Care", he snarled, pounding hard into you after every word. You felt a hand on your throat, and your pussy squeezed him even more. 

"Naughty little girl," he teased as he kissed and sucked on your neck. "Wanting my cock like the dirty slut you are. I'm gonna make sure you're pregnant with our babies. That's what you want, isn't it?" 

"No! N-No, please!" You begged. That wasn't true. You marveled at the thought of having his children. You felt so horny, feeling his dick pounding into you. Attuma leaned forward and held you in a tight embrace, forcing you to look at him as you slowly surrendered to your desires.

"You're mine," he growled. "Only mine. Say it!"

"I'm yours!" you shouted. You didn't care if everyone in Talokan heard you. You only cared about who was on top of you, who was worshiping you, who was inside you. You were so painfully close to another orgasm, and Attuma knew it. 

"Cum for me, in yakunaj," he pleaded, resting his forehead against yours. You could barely speak, barely form a coherent thought as that familiar ache started to build up in your core. You were getting closer, and you loved it, the feeling of coming undone in front of him. 

Attuma bit into your shoulder and you threw your head back and came. Your pussy squirted around his cock, and you almost passed out from the pleasure. Your back arched as he came inside you, filling you up with his warm seed. You moaned his name as your body twitched against him, trying to regain some sense of normality. That was the best sex you've ever had in your life. 

For a while, you both stayed like that, gasping for air while he remained deep in your warmness. Sadly, he pulled out, and you whimpered at the empty feeling. His cum felt dangerously good inside you, and you shivered, basking in the fact that he claimed you, ruining you for anyone else. You looked up to see your lover, who was also coming down from his high.

Attuma looked beautifully wrecked, his hair a mess and sweat glistening on his body. You didn't look too bad either, but you weren't complaining. You pulled him down for a kiss which he gladly reciprocated. You were both tired but happy.

"Attuma," you sighed exasperatedly, "that was amazing," you praised. He smiled and caressed your cheek with his hand. You giggled and kissed his palm, running your thumb over where your lips once were. He returned the action and held your hand to his heart. You felt your body heat up at the gesture. You sat up and started peppering his face with kisses, and he did the same to you. 

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you more, my warrior."

And at that moment, Attuma's world shined even brighter now that you were his.

End.

Thank you so much for reading!💙

[fuckmeyer]

random! but I absolutely love your interpretation of Bella and Edward and was wondering what you think Bella would gift Edward for his birthday — i know she gifts him her visions as a vampire and compiles them in a lil montage, but I'm more interested in what you think she'd opt for left to her mere human talents

aw, thank you, anon! glad you like my interpretation of Bella & Edward. love your question. tricky! what do you get the rich century-old vampire for a celebration he typically ignores? the perfect gift requires a fundamental understanding of who this man is, what he wants, & what he needs.

i think (& believe this applies to canon too)...

Edward has a contradiction within him that leads to his suffering. he reads others' minds; no one can do the same, yet he hears everyone's judgments about him. most are projections, but what they all instinctively know is also what he fears: he's a monster. this skews his perception of himself because it "confirms" what he "knows." being a monster makes him inherently bad. selfish. cruel. violent. unworthy. soulless. his opinion isn't all negative: he knows he's curious, intelligent, musical, etc., but these traits all stem from or are influenced by his vampirism...meaning all his positive traits are shadowed by his "evilness"

by virtue of trying to be a better person, some part of him knows this is not who he truly is. deep down, he wants to be seen— the parts of him he's forgotten, denied, or ignored but exist nonetheless. he wants to be seen as good. worthy. deserving. human. lovable. soulful. he wants someone to see the suffering, the contradiction. he wants someone to see he's lonely. that his needs aren't met. that he's misunderstood.

part of why he's drawn to Bella is her "goodness" &, more importantly, her silent mind. not only does she draw the best out of him, but he can't see the worst of himself through her eyes. as annoying as he says it is, being blocked from her mind is a relief.

which leads us to another thing Edward wants: Edward wants to see Bella's mind. canon Bella kinda understands this by the end with the lil vampire montage, but as a human, she lacks self confidence & self awareness to understand Edward truly is interested in knowing her.

ok, so say she has more self-confidence & enough self-awareness & knows Edward well enough to understand what he wants and needs... here's how the birthday goes:

she would take him someplace where he can't hear anyone's thoughts (e.g. the meadow, but tbh it'd be fun if she took him someplace he's never been. he can enjoy the surprise & mystery.)

she would plan activities he's typically excluded from. e.g., a game of chess/cards, maybe a picnic (even if he can't eat, he can enjoy a human experience)

she would wear an outfit he loves on her (NO green sweater. sorry folks)

she might make a mixtape of songs she loved as a child & details the memories behind them, OR a mixtape of songs from their relationship showcasing her favorite memories together. i.e., giving him a peek into her mind through something they have in common

fucking CUTE ASS HOMEMADE CARD drawn/painted by her. if she was brave, all her mushy feelings she would never say out loud would go into this (or in an accompanying letter). i could also see her making a collage: she would cut out quotes about love from his favorite books, put in some pressed flowers he's given her, maybe mementos from their time together (ticket stubs, fave lyrics, scraps from their Bio homework with their flirty notes written in the margins, photos, etc). if she journals, maybe she cuts out some sections where she's writing about him. something that shows him that, just as he's grateful for every second of their time together, she values that time just as much

straight up she might ask him if there's anything he wants to do with her. if he wants to take her to a bookstore or record store & drop a cool thousand on her, she will grin & bear it. if he wants to slowdance with her for hours, great. if he wants her to go to Mike Newton's & kick him in the balls...well, maybe they can compromise & egg his house or sth

ok this idea won't leave my brain so here ya go: taking a favorite date of theirs but making it totally solo. thinking particularly of going to the drive-in theater. except instead of going to the drive-in, she would roll that Chevy out to the woods, there's a projector & screen all set up, the truckbed is filled with blankets & pillows & snacks, & they watch his favorite movie together

she would touch him. not sexually because that would put him on edge. but she would play with his hair & rub his back & touch his skin & cuddle & hold his hand etc., because LORD KNOWS this man is touch-starved after decades of being alone & this lack of contact has contributed to his low self esteem

ultimately, she would give him what he wants (her) while showing him that she understands what he needs (to be seen). THAT, to me, would be the ultimate gift for the man who seemingly has everything.

[hautedlife]

Thought about a fic idea with CaptainSparklez based on the song Karma by AJR.

Canon?

Half baked.

(Sue me, I like songs that hit the feels. Also there needs to be more sparklez centric fic in general tbf.)

---

The Captain was a good man, upheld by his own morals and his ideas of justice.

The Captain was a good man, chaotic and mischievous for that is who he is.

The Captain doesn't feel like a good man, was everything he has done in the past wasn't enough?

Or was it the fact he hasn't done enough in the first place?

---

To the people of Ruxomar, Jordan was a helper. Always willing to help people for what is right, causing some mischief along the way. As a soft-hearted knight, you'd think he would have succumbed to the harshness of reality. Yet there he stood firm against all the odds, in a land where his god was neglected. Everyone adored him, who doesn't like the Captain?

To his friends, Jordan was a prankster. He could have been Dianite's follower, yet he chose neutrality above everything else. He was sweet and kind to his friends, sometimes they think of him more as family. They couldn't deny that he was a troublemaker, knowing all the trouble that follows the Captain.

To Jordan, he thinks that he is unworthy of everyone's love and affection. He loves to help the town, never asking for things in return. He loves pranking his friends, a good laugh out of everyone. But sometimes he feels that people are watching him, waiting for him to act before the issue presents itself. Sometimes he thinks that his friends are getting annoyed at his antics and that they are playing along so as to not hurt his feelings.

To Ianite? She thinks that Jordan deserved better. Her champion is destined for eternal torment, all she wishes is that she could lighten his burden.

Even if it's just a little.

---

As time passes by in Ruxomar, the four heroes grew accustomed to the land. Their magic grew in strength as their bonds also grew together. It was still odd to find the same gods exist here yet they had different personalities and an even bigger mystery.

The battles they experienced were plenty enough to give them nightmares, yet in the end, they prevailed and brought the truth out from the shadows. That there was a mastermind behind all the destruction that has been happening.

Tucker and Sonja longed for order, wishing that the world returns to its peaceful state.

Tom longed for the days of calm where he could play pranks and mess around, causing mischief and chaos without any major repercussions.

And Jordan?

He longed for comfort, he wishes that the voices in his head would stop telling him that he wasn't worthy of love. He wishes that people would stop looking at him as if he was overpowered.

He wishes someone would tell him that he's enough.

He prays that someday, even if it takes years, that he won't feel lonely again.

---

Ruxomar was a mess, one that he doesn't know if he can ever fully recover from. He never given enough time to even think about it before he ends up in another world.

The isles, three gods and three champions.

Where did Sonja and Tucker gone to? Jordan doesn't know, he will never know. He's in a completely different world, different rules, and different magic. It's honestly driving him a tiny bit insane. Everything felt familiar and at the same time was something completely new.

His lady, his goddess, even she felt strange.

She was more caring? She was kind and looked after him as if he was her champion. But he wasn't her champion, not in this world, not this Ianite.

He doesn't deserve the love, he messes up one too many times to deserve it now.

---

Over time, the battles they fought grew harder as their enemies grew in power. Darkness was everything and nothing at the same time, what could three mortals do?

Jordan likes to believe that the world is all fine and dandy, nothing wrong and nothing to look into. Even when there are moments where he doesn't remember how he got here and there.

Everyone tells him that he isn't crazy, or was it the other way around? Nothing in this world was right, everything was wrong. Everything was unbalanced, he simply couldn't stand it.

But even then, he'll try to be a good champion and restore the balance of the world. Jordan knows that it's his duty to bring balance, without balance he's nothing after all.

---

They were running out of time, everything has gone to shambles. Dark smoke covers the air as he watches the timer tick down into nothingness. There was nothing that could stop the bubbling anxiety in his chest from exploding.

It took the three champions a while to figure out how to stop the timer was to progressively add time to it. And to add time, someone needs to do it for all eternity. Too add time was a trial and to pass the trial took time.

In the end, Jordan had ro leave behind one of his friend. And yet again, he feels guilty for leaving Karl behind. He wished that he could stay with him forever with Tom, but everything has to come to an end eventually.

---

Over the years, Jordan learned that he will never be a persons first choice. He was mediocre in skill and knowledge despite being a demigod. Yet that didn't stop him from competing in competitions for fun, even if his curse strikes.

He had come from lands that people never knew existed. He had forged bonds that could hold up for all of eternity. He has done the impossible and found ways to do things differently. Even till this day, the cheese hat was his to claim.

The universes that he lived through, the dimensions he explored. His past was a tradgedy that he never wants to relieve. Yet everyone else had something different to say, that he had a bright future waiting for him.

All of that was in the past, now it was time for the future. It was time for Jordan to move on, to be the man he was meant to be.

Himself.

---

Jordan was a good man, he will get retribution and will definitely hold a grudge when he can.

Jordan was a good man, a prankster with ideas that sound stupid yet comical.

Jordan doesn't believe he was a good man, blundering here and there and everywhere.

Yet to everyone else, Jordan was their friend. Perfect the way he is, even with his flaws.

People may remember Captainsparklez as the pinnacle of balance.

But here, they remember Jordan for who he is.

A friend.

[plumsmuseum]

So This Is Love?

I, in my 21 years of living, admit that I have never once held a hand, or maybe even shared a glimpse romantically. I've heard and fantasized about the kind of high school romance you'd see in a cheesy rom-com, or read from sickly sweet novels with overly gratuitous proclamations of love, intensity, and desire, of course (who hasn't!), but I never really believed I was worth enough to be loved like that.

And so, I went about my life as I had, believing I was incapable and unworthy of romance. I thought I was "an old soul" within the throes of a society favoring hookup culture as opposed to the traditional, pride and prejudice style "declaration of passionate love in the rain" I was so exposed to as a child. I thought I was too different to be understood, and I felt very, very lonely because of it.

Thinking back on it, I feel like a self-obsessed idiot for thinking that I could be so, completely unique that no one else, amongst the 7 billion people could ever relate to me. While I improved myself, and healed, I realized that everyone was as equally flawed as I was. It was a relief.

So, I thought to myself one day, "If I really am so curious about love and romance, what would be the harm in getting a dating app and exploring the market?". And so, I did. Mostly also because I wanted to get rid of all the anxiety and shyness that swept through me whenever I was near a man. It was getting a little difficult to see myself with someone if I can't even bring myself to look at the opposite sex.

I downloaded and swiped, and felt quite gross for judging people so brashly and with such ease. Truthfully, there really is no way of knowing if I'd ever actually click with someone before meeting them. I realized this then, but this will play a bigger part in the story later.

So, I matched with a few people, ignored some because of sheer overwhelm, and made uncomfortable small talk about hobbies, current studies or work, and... fruit. I cringe at the small talk, even weeks after I had initiated it.

Eventually, someone had asked me on a date. I had clearly voiced my boundary of staying friends, but we agreed to meet anyways. The meeting was painfully awkward. I mentioned my discomfort, and my date ever-so-graciously laughed in my face and stayed as quiet as possible so he could, and I quote, "watch me squirm".

Despite that, he was nice. Told me to slow down and take my time when I was running late, offered me a ride back to my sister's house, which I was staying at for the night, and consistently gave me little compliments throughout the night. Men aren't as scary and mean as I had thought. I'm glad it happened.

Even so, throughout the date I was.. a different version of myself. I was anxious and nervous, and giggled like a child, my voice high-pitched and soft, just because I was so shaky. I wrote afterwards that I had never felt as vulnerable and girlish as I had in quite a long time. Truthfully, I think that part of me should be more apparent in daily life. My femininity was an old, friendly, but socially non-existent aspect of my personality that would be good to rekindle.

I ended the night on a high. I'm not sure if it's because of the pride I had for myself for doing something hard, the adrenaline that comes from meeting someone new, or the excitement from a potential love interest in my life. I don't think it's the last one.

The date had reminded me of my competence. It made me see myself from my date's perspective; ditzy and giggly, but lovable nonetheless. Lovable. I saw myself as lovable. First time for everything, hey? But it sparked something in me. I see myself as someone worthy and capable of intimacy. I pictured myself and him in a relationship and realized that it is likely to happen, if I so choose. I realized that I had romantic potential. And I had never, ever, saw myself as someone who was capable of being in a relationship. It changed my perspective, very rapidly, very immediately, and very overwhelmingly.

Along with it came the "evaluation". The guy was nice, but we didn't have the same humor, or interests, or really much at all in common I think. The evaluation of my date, along with the small talk I had on the dating app, also woke me up to what I wanted from my relationships.

I wanted quiet, calm, and peace. I wanted someone to talk to, who would understand my neuroticism, and why I take the steps I do to prevent it. I wanted to call someone while crying over a documentary. I want someone to be as soft with me as I would be to them. Intimacy. I wanted intimacy, and support.

Which doesn't have to exist solely from men.

The bumble date made me realize I wanted to be more authentic. I wanted to dress differently and act differently as I usually do. I want to be more quiet and calm, as I usually am when I'm alone. I no longer want to hide behind a guise of friendliness. I want to wear dramatic makeup.

The bumble date made me more at peace with the abundance of love I have now, and the realization that the intimacy I craved can also come from my friends and family, if I so choose to initiate. It made me realize that I push people away because I fear getting too close. It made me realize that I actually can ring people up, or tell them about my issues, or let myself cry in front of them, as long as I make the choice to.

The bumble date made me more aware of the fact that I had been governed under the motivation to be loved for a very long time. By everyone, friends, boys, my own family. It made me realize that, even if I care about the people around me deeply, I draw a line between myself and others, never really letting anyone close. I realize that my adamant desire and drive to get people to love me was a ploy. I don't think I ever should have cared. After meeting someone new, with no attachments to any of my social circles, I realized how sick I am of socializing. How tired I am of trying to convince other people of who i am. I realized that I don't know who i am. And I realized that i really, really wanted to.

I do want love. And I do want a relationship. But I want to be happy with who I am and who I'm with, first and foremost. I think for now, I'll focus on allowing myself to just be, and allow myself to do kind things for the people in my life. The rest will come if that's what's in the cards for me.

[bibbykins]

Vulnerable in The Dead of Night (M)

I wrote this QUICK, so if it’s bad, I’m so sorry, but I just wanted to get this out ASAP, so I hope you like it! Also, pls feel free to give me your thoughts or ask any questions, I love to answer them!

NOTE: This is part of The Household’s Bunny series, which I recommend you read before this bc otherwise, it may not make sense.

Summary: Taehyung finds himself consumed with self-loathing and crushing loneliness. You find Taehyung standing alone in the kitchen late at night, happy to see him again for the first time in weeks. The usually playful and flirty man is left with his feelings when faced with you in the dead of night.

Genre: Soft Yandere! Taehyung x Chubby! Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: 18+, soft yandere tendencies, obsessive/possessive thoughts, crying, loneliness, self-loathing, abandonment issue, adopted person feeling unworthy of love, kissing, hickeys, cunnilingus, precum, blowjob, swallowing, dom/sub dynamics, dirty talk, this is a yandere fic so unhealthy relationships are throughout this series

Taehyung felt like he was losing his mind, and maybe he was. What could he be doing wrong? How can you not know how he feels? How can Jimin get his point across better than him? 

Do you not like him?

His pacing in the kitchen ceased at this thought. 

No.

Surely, no. You liked him, right? You told him you did.

Although, that was before he and Namjoon had basically disappeared from your life these last two weeks. Is he that replaceable? 

The nagging insecurity of his childhood crept up. Flashes of tears, isolation, and craving for love tugged at his mind. He shook his head. He wasn't a 6 year old watching his father leave him. He wasn't a 14 year old in a foster home. He just wasn't that 17 year old in a new home, trying to adapt. That wasn't him anymore. Taehyung was loved now, by many. So why not by you? 

He blew out a shaky breath before finishing his glass of room temperature water. He was still dressed in his suit, having just gotten home from the final session of the blasted weeks-long project that kept him from you. His tie was more suffocating than ever but could not find a reason he deserved to undo it.

Too enraptured in his own thoughts, he didn't hear the soft pad of slippers downstairs or the tiny pants of regaining your breath from the nine flights you just went down in the dead of night, "Tae?" Your breathy voice sliced through the chaos in his mind and he let out a breathy chuckle, thinking he was going insane, hallucinating your voice.

Truly, he felt useless. He felt sub-human. He felt every piece of shit adult who turned his back on him must be justified if this was the best he could do. If a smokescreen of lovability with no love was his peak. If being alone with only hallucinations was the closest he could get to companionship-

He nearly choked on his water when he felt arms wrap tightly around his midsection, "Tae, you're home!" Your voice cleared the cloud of self-loathing and he looked down to see your half manicured nails, most of the polish chipped off. He slowly placed his hands on yours and was relieved to find you weren't a hallucination, "I missed you." He could feel your mouth moving against his suit jacket as you squeezed him a bit harder.

He let his eyes close as he relished in the feeling of you nuzzling into him, missing him. 

Worried when he said nothing, you moved to detach yourself but he held your hands firmly, "Tae?" You questioned only for him to hum lightly.

"I missed you so much, little lamb." His voice was soft, the softest you'd ever heard it as his thumb stroked your palm, "I didn't know you missed me." His voice held a fondness you had never heard from him before. Usually, his tone was light and playful but now, he was almost melancholic.

Did he genuinely feel that way? The panic of one of the men you found yourself falling for each day thinking you didn't like him as much as you did take over and you moved for you both to face each other. Tae merely blinked before you were in front of him, hands holding his face, not searching in his eyes but looking to express something with yours, "Of course I missed you." You pouted, "You all mean the world to me." 

He searched for any sign of a lie. He'd seen it time and time again from people in the entertainment industry, but with you, it was nothing but pure honesty, "Little lamb." He commanded your attention even though he already had it as you let your hands settle on each of his shoulders, "You mean that?" 

"I would never lie to you." You didn't miss a beat before looking at him further, realizing he is not acting like he usually does, "Are you okay?" You asked lightly, eyes traveling over his form, hands working to undo his tie as you've done before when he asked you to help him, "Oh gosh, that must feel so suffocating this late at night." You mumbled and undid two of his top buttons. He grabbed your hands as you worked at the second button, making you look up.

"Do you wanna know how I feel, baby?" He asked, eyes a little darker now as he drank in your form, wearing a mere long shirt that reached the middle of your thighs with no shorts in sight. You nodded and his grip on you tightened but wasn't painful, "Jealous." He rasped and you looked up, confused, "Jealous that you don't cum for me or crave me like you do everyone else." His voice was strained despite neglecting Namjoon's own lack of experience with you.

You blinked, "I mean if you want sex, that's okay." He let go of your hands, one of his hands moving to grip your hip as the other cupped your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, "But you know that sex is just that, I mean, I like closeness and it makes me feel good, so I do it. But I also know that being sexually attracted to me doesn't mean you want me as your partner- oh!" He cut you off by pressing you roughly against the wall, his hand now cradling the back of your head to prevent you from getting hurt.

His gaze burned into you and you averted your eyes but the hand behind your head went to grip your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his own, and what a fierce gaze it was, "Who made you think that?" He snapped and continued when you struggled to respond, "Who convinced you that you're not just as worthy of pleasure as you are intimacy? Love? Companionship?" 

You were dumbstruck. Part of you wanted to ask how long he had because you had a list. You remembered every person who made you feel that way whereas they surely forgot you moments after you either did or didn't succumb to their desires. Instead, your eyes began to water, "Why are you…?" You forced out, blinking back your tears, "I don't...I don't understand." You shook your head.

"I don't want to fuck you so bad just because you're the sexiest woman I've ever seen." Your breath hitched and your mind couldn't properly process his words, "I crave you." He breathed, leaning down, "I've been agonizing over how to come to terms with the fact that I feel so fucking strongly for someone who has no obligation to feel the same." Before you could even respond, he placed his mouth on yours in a bruising kiss.

You responded immediately, trying your best to convey your feelings in this sloppy kiss, tongues intertwined as you needily moaned when his hand wrapped your leg around him, but he didn't grind into you, he just pulled your closer. The kissing lessened in urgency and increased in passion as he gripped you with a near bruising force, "Tae…" You groaned into his mouth and found yourself nearly crying. You held him closer and he squeezed you to him.

"Yes, baby?" He moved to kiss lightly at the corner of your mouth, mouth moving to. kiss at your tears. He didn't need to ask you why you were crying. He knew. He felt it too. He felt the relief that came with being held close, being kissed, and is wanted as much as another wants you.

"Do you mean it?" You asked, crying more now, "You…"

"I feel so strongly for you." He affirmed and you shook your head, having a hard time believing him, "And that's so frightening because you could just leave and I..." He breathed shakily, head tucked into your neck, "I don't know how everyone else is holding it together when I know they feel the same-"

"I do too." You had to say it before you wouldn't, "All of you, I do." You sniffled, "But I can't find a reason why you guys would feel anything for me too." Your voice was breaking and he just crushed you to him further, "And I don't know if they feel that way, and-" You cried further, "I-I need to go to bed, I need to-" You tried to pull away from his crushing embrace to no avail. 

You whined a bit at this. Your mind was scattered, and you didn't know what to do. There was so much going on yet nothing going on at all. You received a confession and so did he and yet, everything felt so complicated. The doubt of anyone wanting to be with you strangled your very being and made you want to stay in your room and never think about it again. Live alone in mediocrity and loneliness.

"Promise me you're not scared." His words were demanding but his tone was pleading, "I...I know it's a lot and I know I never act like this, but just, don't avoid it, don't avoid me." He sniffled and you relaxed, "The fact of the matter is, we feel the same about each other, the rest will come in time." He was regaining his composure and slowly you began to calm down. He was right. It was just you and him. Everyone else is at bay, they will get their time. You don't have to wake everyone up to know their feelings. You have time, "I know Jimin said his piece to you too, and we're not going anywhere, so please, don't go." His voice was stable again as he tucked in the scared and lonely little boy that haunts him sometimes and set his mind straight.

You nodded against him, honest and understanding of his words. You were nervous, sure, but only time would tell. If you run, you break your heart. But if you stay, you could either get your heart broken or get everything you want. It's a risk that you don't know how to calculate, but it's a risk you're willing to take. Maybe Taehyung is right and everyone feels the same about you in a way you could only dream. Just maybe.

He lets you go and you look at him, flawless as ever. His face was minorly red, tears minuscule and long gone by now, "We should go to bed." You murmured as Taehyung reached up to wipe away the stray tears on your cheeks and he nodded. 

He held your hand as he pressed the elevator button, lightly scolding you for taking nine flights of stairs in slippers with no traction, "Wow, you tell me you tell me you like me and now I'm getting chewed out." You giggled, the feeling of someone fussing over your safety was quite refreshing.

He looked at you incredulously, "If you fell or hurt yourself, all hell would break loose." He chided and you hummed.

You broke out into a goofy smile, "You like me." You giggled and the man next to you gave you a side-eyed glare before giving up on containing his own smile.

"Yeah well," He paused for a moment, smiling to himself, "You like me back." He chuckled and you felt your face heat up. 

He squeezed your hand and you watched the floors tick up to your own, "Tae?"

"Yes?" He asked, noticing your voice got quieter, more unsure. 

"Do you have anything to do tomorrow or do you want to stay with me tonight?" You forced out, nervous he would say no. 

Little did you see, he broke out into a cheerful smile and thanked his lucky stars before responding coolly, "I'd be honored to stay with you tonight." 

The elevator dinged just in time and you held his hand all the way to your bedroom before finally standing to face him. You studied his face for the nth time tonight. He was still beautiful each time and the moonlight only further deified his beauty further, "You're all so beautiful." You mused, reaching up to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"And all yours." He breathed.

You scoffed, "Sounds impossible." 

"Start believing, my darling." His voice was as smooth and deep as ever and you looked into his eyes and found an emotion you'd never seen before. 

Maybe you could do this. Maybe Taehyung was right and all 7 of them felt the same. Maybe you were deserving of sex and love.

And quite possibly it was your own resignation of maybe of the whole situation that made you reach up and push his suit jacket off of his shoulders. Confused, he still shrugged off the jacket, letting it fall to the floor. You reached up and began undoing the third button on his shirt. With more of his chest exposed you reached your hands up and feel the exposed skin of his chest softly, "Baby, what are you- fuck!" You cut him off, leaning up to suck onto his neck harshly before licking the spot. Your breath hit his neck, "You have got to be careful or I may not be able to control myself." You merely smiled before licking a stripe along the column of his throat and you could feel the vibration of his groan against your tongue before kissing along his jaw, "I don't want you to think I just confessed to you so I could come up here and-" He cut himself off with a strangled growl as you shifted your leg up for your thigh to brush against his erection.

"I like how cumming feels knowing you're still going to like me the next day." You spoke honestly and Taehyung wanted to find every person who didn't make you feel that way, "Unless you don't want to do anything, which is fine." You nuzzled into his neck, "I just, want to be close to you in more ways than one." 

He pulled back to look at you properly and found no doubt in your eyes. With Jimin, sexual acts had been a show of emotions. Now that you thought about it, even what happened with Yoongi and Jin felt like something different than what you were used to. In each sexual encounter, there was a level of care, making it feel so alien. Even with Jungkook and Hoseok, there was something there that you didn't know, intimacy. And yet, it felt so good.

Nevertheless, he asked, "Are you sure?" You nodded and he smiled, head dipping down to kiss you deeply. You continued your work on the buttons of his shirt while your tongues felt each other. Your hands went to his belt, undoing the Italian leather before you pulled away from his mouth and began kissing down his neck and his hands intertwined with your hair, "Baby, you don't have to make me cum." He breathed and you sucked at his neck to protest.

"I want to feel you in my mouth." You whined, hand reaching into the pants you unbuttoned to grip his dick over his briefs, "Please?" 

He nodded, eyes heavy, unsure how he could ever say no to you in the first place, "On the bed though, I don’t want you to hurt your knees." His voice was soft and you giggled at his wholesome request but nodded anyway.

You sat on the bed as he rid himself of his mostly taken-off clothing. You both tangled into each other as he kissed while he laid over you on your bed. You lightly pushed him to flip over so you were on top of him, legs straddling his hips. His hands glided over your thighs, squishing the skin gleefully as you continued peppering kissing down his chest, pressing your core into his bare erection, making you let out a needy moan, “You’re so hard.” You whispered, mouth sliding down his body.

Before you knew it, you reached his dick and of course, it was pretty. You wrapped your hands around the base and he sucked in a breath through his teeth before you licked at the precum at the tip before taking as much of him as you could in your mouth and he let out the most delicious grunt,” So good to me, my little lamb.” He praised you in a gravelly voice and you felt yourself get wetter as his hands curled into your hair, “Fuck, just like that.” He groaned as you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him further. The dark room was filled with sounds of you drooling all over his erection as he praised you and was very vocal with his pleasure. The praise made you moan against his dick in delight, “My little lamb likes to be praised, huh?” He cooed, voice strained and breath heavy as you nodded, never letting his length escape your lips, “So perfect for me, aren’t you?” You hummed in delight as he threw his head back, fingers tensing in your hair as he did his best to not pull it or push your head down. However, determined to please, you guided his hand to push you further, nodding to let him know it was okay. He was gentle as he guided your head, his other hand intertwining with yours as a sweet gesture. You bobbed rhythmically and you could hear his noises becoming less and less controlled, “Fuck, I’m getting close.” He warned and you responded with a strong suck that made his hips lift off the bed, “Where do you want me to cum?” He asked urgently and you answered by looking up at him through your lashes with a look way too innocent for someone about to drink down his cum. It was that look that sent him over the edge and you felt him cum in your mouth. You drank him dry before letting his dick go with a resounding pop.

“Did I do well?” You asked and, his hand still in your hair, pulled you to him as he nodded before planting a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Perfect, baby, perfect.” He was breathless but still intent on kissing you deeply as he sat up, hands going to your thighs to grip the hem of your shirt, “Can I taste you, little lamb?” He asked and you nodded.

“Please.” You whined as he kissed your throat, going over the hickeys you had from the other me in the house, all of them mostly faded except for the one Jimin gave you. He lifted the shirt, only detaching from marking you to strip you of your clothing. He laid you down as he slipped your panties off, groaning at how you were glistening.

“You this wet for me, sweetheart?” He spoke huskily and you hummed desperately as his finger slid from your clit to your drenched hole slowly, “I really wanted to go slow, but fuck,” His finger slid in with little resistance much to his delight, “You’re just so ready for me, aren’t you?” You nodded, panting as his finger fucked slowly into you and he raised a brow, expecting you to be verbal.

“Yes, yes, I’m ready Sir, please.” You gasped out, fighting the urge to wiggle your hips as you confirmed with the honorific you trusted him enough to give yourself fully.

“Just because you’ve been so sweet to me,” He leaned down, breath fanning over your drenched core, “I won’t make you beg this time.” He kissed your clit, making you twitch before his tongue licked a stripe from your clenching hole to your clit, making you gasp, “You taste so fucking good, no wonder Jin and Yoongi were so smug for days.” He rasped and felt you clench around him further, “Oh?” He chuckled darkly as his tongue flicked your clit, “You like when I talk about the others? You wish they were here watching you squirm around my finger?” You writhed in delight as he slid another finger in, “You wish they were here helping me get you off so pretty, holding you down so you’ll be still like a good girl?” He teased you and it only soaked his fingers and tongue further as he slurped you intently. Taehyung had been waiting what felt like his whole life to have you come apart in his clutch and feel your sweet cum on his tongue.

He tasted you intently, fucking into you a little quicker as he let you squirm around him. He would be lenient and kind this time around, because of both of your desperations and tearful confessions. There was so much to feel and so much to taste, and he just wanted to have you crumble in his clutch. You were well on your way to be his, theirs, and he would be yours in return. He wanted to channel his hunger for you as he moaned into your pussy. You were already getting off by making him cum and now, you were unsure how long you would last if he kept flexing his tongue and running it over your clit as he curled his fingers in your cunt, hitting a particularly sensitive spot that made your back arch off the bed.

He murmured dirty and sweet nothings into your pussy as you clutched the sheets with a death grip, doing your best to not push his head into your core. You wanted him to have total control over your body and pleasure in this moment, “You’re getting close.” He cooed teasingly and you nodded, spurring him to take his fingers out.

You cried out as he chuckled, sucking your juices from the two fingers, “Please, I wanna cum, please, please!” You whimpered, pushing your hips up as he let his fingers go from his mouth.

“Shit, you’re so fucking cute.” He groaned, hands pinning your hips to the bed as you squirmed, “I’ll make you cum, baby, don’t worry.” He kissed at your clit, eliciting a desperate cry, “You just have to be really good for me and cum while I fuck you with my tongue.” He licked at your hole as you nodded eagerly, “Can you be good for me and do that?” His voice was dripping with lust.

“Yes, Sir, I can, I will, please!” You babbled, having been so close to cumming just moments ago.

You calling him Sir made his teasing nature disappear as he slid his tongue into you with a groan on his end and with you nearly screaming as he fucked into you. He moved inside of you as your walls fluttered, slowly clenching more and more as you could feel your high coming. It was when his hand went to rub quick circles onto your clit that you came with a strangled moan.

His tongue fucked you through your high and he only pulled away when your back settled back onto the bed and you were trying to catch your breath. He kissed your stomach before going to put on his briefs as he slid your panties back on. He hovered over you, placing a quick kiss on your mouth as you wrapped your arms around him, humming in bliss, “You’re such a good girl.” You keened at his praise as he placed a kiss on your cheek before rolling over to pull you in his arms, holding you tight.

“Now you get to be smug.”You giggled tiredly, eyes closing as you listened to his heartbeat.  

He chuckled, equally tired as he kissed the crown of your head, “I already am.” He mused, “Goodnight, little lamb.” His voice was soft and sweet as you could only muster another blissful hum.

Now, you were starting to understand what was so different about all of your sexual, or near-sexual, interactions with almost everyone. It was the emotion in it. 

You’ve had people say they liked you, get what they want, and then never see you again. However, the guys, barring Tae and Jimin, hadn’t said they liked you, but they tried to communicate it. They held you close, they stayed to cuddle with you after. There was care in the way they touched your body and it was liberating. It was frightening, the idea of getting used to something that could just go away one day, but nevertheless, you let your consciousness fade, knowing he would be there tomorrow morning.

Tip Jar

[mwolf0epsilon]

Whumptober Day 6: Proof of Life

Prompt: Ransom Video

Summary: Even after all these years, Boba still has nightmares.

[Do you think Boba ever think about Ponds's death? I think this is also the first time I've written Boba, so go easy on me...]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

---

Keeping his territory on Tatooine in check is a nightmare all of its own. Not because he's hated (far from it, which he takes pride in), but because he's not the first tough guy with an arsenal to come around and claim the land. He's just the first to not have any issues with the Sand Folk.

Logically Boba never assumed it'd be a walk in the park. He'd given himself a mammoth chore deciding to pick up where that slob of a slug had left off, and actually make something out of this wretched planet that didn't result in the constant misery of those he now ruled over.

Still it was worth doing in the end.

Respect kept most in line. Those that didn't get the memo were dealt with swiftly. It was the upstart wannabe usurpers that gave him reasons to go to bed with an aching back.

There was barely any time to rest at the beginning of his reign. Not that Boba had any trouble going without sleep when he had plenty of trash to take out. Life as a bounty hunter had prepared him for that. The addition of an ally like Fennec also helped to lighten the load considerably.

In due time things started getting less hectic. Weeks after the Pykes were put in their place, and Cad Bane bit the dust, everyone seemed to sort of settle. A period of peace before the next asshat with an ego bigger than Coruscant came about to start some shit.

Work slowed. Tasks became fewer. Fennec never quite relaxed but she was less wary of getting shot any time soon, which meant things were alright for now. Even his rancor seemed content to just lay about, not in a stupor of depression, but because she was satisfied with how things were.

Meanwhile Boba dreaded going to bed.

Even after all these years, Boba still has nightmares.

Nightmares of a lonely city in the sea, endless rainfall, a familiar ship leaving the hanger without him. Nightmares of a hot desert, the roar of beasts, swinging of plasma blades and the fall of a limp body. Nightmares of familiar eyes staring sadly at him, the discharge of a blaster, the slap of a pale hand across his face.

He'd been a kid surrounded by death and disappointment. Isolated and forced to fend for himself more than he'd ever been loved or tended to. Yearning to both be and be more than the person he was cloned from. The only claimed son among hundreds of thousands.

And yet here he was. Still very afraid to go to bed on his own, just as he'd been when he was but that child in Tipoca waiting for his buir to return home. The only difference being that the monsters he'd feared then, now had very familiar faces that seemed to blur at the edges.

The worst of his nightmares were of that damned ransom video Aurra had made to lure out Windu. It's always Ponds who stares at him with those sad resigned eyes of his. But after he (not Aurra in the dream) pulls the trigger, it's Jango who stares back at him with disgust at him being someone else's pawn.

Unable to seek vengeance on his own, nor able to evade ending up in prison. Any form of training he'd learned from his father gone to waste.

A disgrace to the Fett name. Just like all the other clones. Unworthy.

Boba knows he'll never escape the guilt of his failures as both a man and a brother. Most of all he'll never escape the nightmares where the fragmented memory of his father hates him. It makes him dread going to sleep more than the prospect of ending up at the wrong end of a blaster, or back in the guts of a sarlacc.

The mind is not merciful.

[wangshuus]

love like you | xiao

pairing: xiao/gn!reader

genre: angst+fluff

wc: 4.1k

summary: you and xiao are polar opposites according to him and because of that, he deems himself unworthy. 

note: this is my first time writing for genshin and i love xiao so much so this is essentially a bunch of word vomit i whipped together while listening to love like you from the su soundtrack :’) 

(i’ll have to go in for another proof read after but pls take this for now)

fic under the cut

In the land of Liyue, the Adepti were acknowledged for being the protectors of the sacred land, guarding both it and its people. As most of the adepti resided in their abodes, there was but one that stayed within the vicinity of the Wangshu Inn. Xiao; the Vigilant Yaksha, Conqueror of Demons, Alatus. He went by many titles, many names all of which carried the story of the adeptus himself. Upon the years of history carried through Liyue in its passing generations, it’s known to many that despite having the looks of a young man, the adeptus was not someone you would want to take lightly. The Yaksha carried thousands of years worth of burden, shackles of guilt and terror binding him to unpleasant memories. With every passing day, he is harshly reminded of the way he and his polearm skillfully worked through the bloodied dance of weapons on the battlefield, crimson liquid painting the ground and his very hands. It stains so intensely that it was like an unseen tattoo that reminded him of eons of slaughter he partook in, the lives and dreams he so greedily took from people. It was something only he could see and something he would continue to see for many more years to come according to him. 

He very rarely got close to anything or anyone, devoting his life to duty and the orders granted to him by Rex Lapis to protect the beloved land of Liyue. For this very reason, he never thought much about emotions or the overall concept of it, seeing it as a worthless matter, a weakness even, for it could not help in the slaying of those in battle. All he ever knew at that point was violence, having his purity harshly stolen from his grasp all those centuries ago and being left with not even a single grain of what it was like to feel anything pleasant. Whenever he did feel anything, pain, suffering and agony were the only things that filled his system therefore to him, it was better to feel nothing at all. Needless to say, he was somewhat unapproachable on several levels, but who could blame him? 

There then came a day in which all of this would away as an estranged guest made your way merry when into the Inn. You, (Y/n) were a mere mortal traveler with a dendro vision chained upon your hip, specializing in the field of healing. You stumbled upon the inn, looking to take on commissions and requests in exchange for a room for the time being. Your fates clashed with each other during your first encounter when you were tasked to deliver almond tofu to the adeptus that was specially made by yourself. You could still remember stuttering over your words in embarrassment during your first meeting as he revealed himself to you, commending you for your culinary skills but telling you to leave immediately, saying something along the lines of it being ‘too dangerous for mere mortals to stay in the presence of adepti for too long’. It was accurate to say that you two took an interest in the oddity of the situation. Why did Xiao decide to reveal himself to the simple human, knowing very well his mere presence was already a threat to you. Why did you not turn away in fear just from the adeptus’ profound deathly gaze? There were several unspoken questions between you two at the time but that one fateful encounter had caused a shift.

You had decided to extend your stay at the inn a little longer than you intended to. You went about the daily tasks set out by Verr in exchange for your stay every day that you were there. The completion of your tasks leads to a delivery that had become habitual to you during your stay at the inn. Every day you’d made your way up to the highest terrace in the inn to drop off a plate of almond tofu to the adeptus. On some days, he’d reveal himself and on some others, he chose to remain unseen-- and to you, this was okay. As the days passed, it began to be more apparent how odd this whole shift was for the both of them.

You are an adventurer, someone who sought out to travel the lands, and yet, you remained grounded at the Inn, your fascination and curiosity driving your patience to learn about the distant Yaksha and fuelling your willingness to stay settled at the inn instead of seeking for the thrill of adventure. Xiao was an adeptus, a being that has lived for many years on end, a being that has slaughtered countless, a being that carried an indescribable amount of karmic debt for all the treacherous and ungodly amount of terror he has bestowed upon thousands in the past. He could not explain to himself why he even decided to associate with a simple mortal, thinking that there was something wrong with him at the time because he knew that if he were in his right mind, he would have never even bothered taking a glance at the human. But then again, not all things could be explained. From the days that you had stayed at the Inn for that time, you would find yourself visiting the lone adeptus every evening, delivering a plate of what became familiar to him as your almond tofu, the one that deemed to be the closest to that of the dreams he so greedily devoured all those years ago. 

Months had passed since the first day you first set foot into the inn. You had managed other work and commissions throughout the time but often found herself coming back. you became well acquainted with everyone who worked there, practically making it her second home in fact. Even when you did have to part ways, you would pass by whenever you could, sparing your time and energy at least once a week to come reeling back like a moth drawn to a flame. The reason behind it was very evident to you, nothing that you would ever admit to hiding at this point. You did enjoy the company and atmosphere of the other humans at the inn but at the end of the day, everything came back down to the enigmatic adeptus that resided there. 

Sensing your presence had become second nature to the adeptus, him knowing the very moment you set foot into the Inn. He would never admit it to himself, but he found himself looking forward to the mortal’s visits. He still thought about the first day he decided to reveal himself to you, feeling a little more content about it with every passing day. But something about the whole ordeal scared him to no end. He wished it wasn’t the case but he was well aware of all the changes and feelings that had bloomed since you waltzed into his life. The feeling of bubbling excitement inside of him every time you came back to him, the feeling of embarrassment of when you’d blurt out compliments towards him, feeling more comfortable and daring as the visits continued. The feeling of protectiveness washing over him when you told him stories in which you got even the slightest bit injured. One may view this just as someone showing emotion; but that was the problem for him. He wasn’t supposed to show emotion-- he wasn’t supposed to feel-- according to himself at least. Rather, he didn’t deem himself worthy to feel pleasant emotions.

“Xiao” A familiar voice called out to him, turning to face the direction from where he stood, which happened to be the spot where he viewed the familiar landscape of Liyue.

You made your way towards him, holding out a plate of almond tofu which he had come to admire. He took the plate from your grasp and greeted her with a light hum of acknowledgment before beginning to munch down on the tofu. You let out a soft chuckle before standing next to him and leaning on the railing, staring off into the starry skies you had become accustomed to seeing, though every time, it never failed to amaze you. Your eyes gazed at the twinkling stars in the sky as you began your usual routine of speaking about how your life has been since you last saw each other. You had become accustomed to Xiao’s aloof demeanor at times like this because you knew that despite him seemingly looking uncaring, he was secretly listening to your rambling. You stared off into the distance as you spoke, your attention being stolen by the stars. While at work on the plate of almond tofu in his hands, Xiao took these moments to look at you as he silently listened to your long-winded sentences.

In serene moments like these, it was hard for Xiao to keep his composure. Though the stars in the sky glimmered so beautifully, they paled in comparison to your eyes when they sparkled so passionately when you spoke of your adventures. In moments like these, Xiao was reminded of your courteous nature. He was reminded of how good you are, going about your time adventuring the lands, specializing in the art of healing with the assistance of the beloved vision clipped at your side. You lived for adventure; you lived to help those in need. It was in moments like these when he became painfully aware of how different you were from each other.

It had been so long since Xiao ever considered himself to be good in any way. He was all too aware of the disgusting red that painted his hands permanently, the hands which have slain countless beings in the past. The hands that he did not see worthy to touch anything so fragile in fear that it would break, feeling as if anything would die at even the slightest touch of his fingertips. You see, when he met you, he was so sure that he was far from anything good and you proved himself to be right in his mind; because you were what he deemed to be good in his eyes. And he was nothing like you.

Before he knew it, he was left with an empty plate and a bustling mind full of thoughts as he looked out into the distance along with your words flowing freely with the wind. You turned back to see Xiao in all his glory, taking in his presence, eyes lingering upon him like the first time you met him. There was never a day that passed where he didn’t look stunning in your eyes. The reserved yaksha was nothing short of a challenge for you to get close to. Even to this day, there are times where he was standoffish towards you. In moments like these, you’re reminded of how you’ve barely scratched the surface of his character, being well aware that he’s lived far longer than you and will quite possibly continue to live way beyond your time. Though he hasn’t explained every single detail of his past to you, there have been significant points in time where he has opened up about snippets of his past, to which you grasped and held onto as much detail as you could when he went on. You’ve picked up that Xiao isn’t the most well-articulated when it comes to explaining his feelings but you paid no mind to it, taking pride over the fact that he has yet to slit your throat open with his spear. There have been countless occasions in which you’ve praised Xiao but none of them have truly projected your feelings towards the adeptus.

Xiao was not truly aware of how deeply you felt for him. Sure, he thought that you were interested enough to stick around and pester him for who knows whatever reason. However, it went way beyond that. You admired him so dearly, his presence being one in which you ironically found an indescribable amount of comfort in. You’ve listened intently to his wise words of wisdom, his tales of his bloodstained past that he was willing to share, as well as his little remarks about how peculiar humans are. You saw beyond the seemingly frigid, cold, and distant demeanor of Xiao and instead saw a boy with such a yearning to be tender, gentleness being beyond his reach according to him but to you, he was gentle. 

You noticed the way he would handle the little things involving you. You notice the way his tone has changed in the slightest when talking to you whenever he does, softer than the first time you had initially met. You notice the way he acts when it comes to physical touch, preferring to make little to no contact to you but his touches were soft and fleeting whenever touch was necessary. He’s told you several times in the past that he has a brute touch preferring a distance to keep himself from hurting you. From that alone, you knew he’s gentle, reluctant to admit it though due to the events of the past but nonetheless, his gentleness was hard to grasp but must be cherished greatly and that is something that you have done. 

“Xiao” You called out to him. He turned to face you, noticing how you were staring right back at him, your arms resting upon the railing as you gazed at him.

“Is something wrong? You seem a little more spaced out today.” You spoke out again.

He sighed before clicking his tongue. “It's nothing that should be of any concern to mo--” 

“--mortals like you, I know yada yada yada. You’ve said that far too many times in the past. Now tell me, what’s truly wrong Xiao. I did make you listen to my rambling so it’s only fair that you shoot something my way.” You cut him off. 

Annoyance laced his features as he let out his nth sigh of the day. He turned to look at you, giving you a serious, almost cold look.

“I am already greatly aware of how odd some human tendencies are, knowing you mortals do some strange actions that even I question to this day. But you, you are the most peculiar of ones that I have encountered. You wish to stay with someone as myself, someone who could take your life in a single heartbeat. So tell me, why does someone like you continue to linger?”

Lo and behold, a question that you were surprised to hear from him, though you knew the day would eventually come when he would ask. Why did you continue to come to him time and time around? You let out an exasperated sigh as you turned to him with a lighthearted smile in an attempt to lighten the tension that filled the air.

“I enjoy your company, that’s all. Is it so wrong to spend time with someone when you enjoy them being around?” You stated. His eyes narrowed at your response.

“I do not believe it is normal to risk your life simply for mere company, it is not worth it. I refuse to believe that your motives are as light-hearted as that. Is there something that you desire that is beyond that of human capabilities?” He stated.

Your eyebrows furrowed and your smile faltered at his aloof response. What was with the sudden cold demeanor he decided to put up front? You held eye contact with his warm amber orbs that held a stare ironically as cold as the mountains of Dragonspine.

“It’s because you’re you, Xiao. I come back and spend my time here because you are you. I enjoy the little things about you and the time we spend together, y’know? I enjoy the way your eyes light up at the sight of almond tofu, I enjoy your little declarations of how odd us mortals are, I enjoy hearing you open up about even the littlest of things. You’re special in my eyes, Xiao. You’re strong in so many different aspects, you’re wise in the words of advice you speak and last but not least, you’re gentle. Those are just a few of many aspects of yourself that make you so special to me.”

Xiao’s face contorted to one of bewilderment for a brief moment before morphing to one of disbelief, scoffing at the statement. ‘Gentle’ he thought. When you mentioned him being gentle, he thought to himself that it was a load of pure nonsense.

“Calling me gentle is simply blasphemous. I have told you countless times that I am far anything related to that of a tender nature. I leave nothing but a trail of anguish and regret. You’re foolish to see me in anything of a good kind of special, even more so if you see me as gentle.” He firmly stated as his arms crossed tightly across his torso.

Archon’s Xiao’s mind was a mess. He was in a stubborn state of denial as he refused to believe the words that slipped past your lips, writing them off as lies. He covered the creeping insecurity that arose in him with a stone cold demeanor like he always did. He couldn’t accept it, he couldn't even fathom to believe what makes you think he’s so special. 

“Listen Xiao, you’re being awfully stubborn right now.” You said dejectedly. Despite his current manner, you wouldn’t back down, seeing this as one of the only opportunities where you could truly and openly speak about how you felt towards him. You turned so that you were fully facing him, standing your ground as you spoke to him.

“You think so lowly of yourself sometimes y’know? It saddens me to know that you only ever see yourself like that.” You stated.

“I am stating nothing but the tru--” Xiao spoke.

“Listen to me, Xiao.” You cut him off, him being surprised by your snapback.

“You’re far more than your own past. I’m aware of everything you’ve gone through from what you’ve told me. Forgive me for I’m unable to fully sympathize with you but I can’t let you continue to do this to yourself. I’ve only known you for mere months out of the thousands of years you’ve lived but I’ve been around you long enough to know that you’re not as bad as you claim yourself to be.” You paused for a moment to gather yourself before you continued on, looking that Xiao was very much paying attention, an unreadable look on his face.

“You’ve told me yourself that you’ve been around long enough to capture the knowledge of the world to an extent. You’ve told me that you’re aware of how barbaric and lethal your own strength is but you’ve never told me that you hold tenderness inside you, even after all you’ve been through. You hold such valuable knowledge in the field of strength but you’ve failed to notice that the gentleness in you is not completely gone.” Your own hands stretched out and firmly held onto his gloved ones as you continued speaking. 

“You speak about yourself as if you’re not worthy of feeling anything but the anguish and pain as a price to pay for your actions. You’re allowed to feel vulnerable, you’re allowed to feel curious, you’re allowed to feel happiness. I want you to be more honest with yourself so that you can see that you’re worthy enough to feel good emotions. You can extend yourself out to others and the human world and allow yourself to be free. Still after all this time, I sense you feel that it’s necessary to keep me at an arm's length but that’s not true nor is it something that I want. Though this fact alone proves my statement. The fact you wish to keep me away is a sign that you hold that gentleness within but you can still learn to be gentle without having to lock everyone out. Your loneliness isn’t an inevitable conclusion, and I’ll prove to you that it isn't. I wish to stay with you not only because I enjoy your company but because I found something in you worth cherishing. I want to see you grow from whatever anguish you hold, even if it’s just a little bit. I know my life might be merely a second in yours but please, let me do what I can in my lifetime to make you feel worthy and feel loved, because I truly do love and care for you, Xiao.” Your grip tightened around his hands, fearing that he’d yank them away from you with every passing second. Although you firmly stand your ground, you were internally malfunctioning at the whole-hearted confession to the adeptus in front of you.

Xiao felt as if the wind was knocked out of his lungs, face contorted into that of even more disbelief as he found himself still trying to process this whole ordeal. He took the time in processing the words that came directly from your heart as it went straight into his, a warm feeling erupting inside of him, something that felt to foreign to him that it scared him a little. Though your words held a weight to them, it was much more pleasant compared to that of his past memories, but it wasn’t enough to distract him from the way you desperately held onto him.

He was well aware that he could pull away from you at any moment, knowing that your strength could in no way match his but he couldn’t do it. The moment your hands touched his, even through his gloves he felt the firm gentleness of your grasp. You were no hydro user but in that very moment, he felt as if you washed away the bloody sins that stained his hands for years on end. For once he felt clean; for once he felt pure, rid of all the unpleasantries of the world for these very moments that he spent with you.

You noticed how Xiao stood still. You feared that you might’ve severely angered him from the way you snapped at him, but the look on his face told you otherwise.

The usually serious and stern face of the adeptus held such a soft, perhaps vulnerable look. His eyes were wide and in the moonlight, you could tell that they were glossed over from the way they shone with emotion, mouth slightly ajar, possibly trying to find the right words to respond to you. He didn’t need to say anything though because from that look alone, you got all the answers that you needed.

You slowly let go of his hands as one arm moved to wrap around his waist and the other going towards the back of his head, reeling him in closely for a foreign yet mellow embrace. His hands awkwardly stayed at his sides before they slowly and hesitantly moved to hug you back, leaning in gently to your touch as your hand led his head to the crook of your neck, allowing him to bask in the warmth you so generously offered him. For the first time in archons knows how long, Xiao felt a warm liquid spill from his eyes, staining your shirt. Your hands ruffled through his hair in an attempt to soothe him in his time of vulnerability. His hold on you was still so light, almost as if he was afraid he’d break you if he held on even tighter. The hand that ghosted over his back made its way to one of his arms and tugged at it, encouraging him to hold on as much as he needed.

“It’s okay Xiao, you can hold on tighter. I’m not as fragile as you may think. You don’t have to be scared of breaking me.” You chuckled lightheartedly.

His grip did tighten, as he began to mumble words with his face still buried at your side. Something along the lines of apologizing for snapping at you earlier. Your smile widened as you held onto him even tighter if that was possible.

Xiao knew he wasn’t perfect, he was far from it in fact. He had so many flaws and rough edges but that was okay--that’s what made him Xiao. He never understood until now why you thought he was so special and to be quite frank, he still didn’t understand, but he was determined to understand it one day. He wasn’t good like you but he wanted to start believing that he was good in his own way, wishing to truly do something that he felt was right by you in the future. Though it wouldn’t be the easiest of journeys, he was determined to do something that feared him to no end--for you. He wanted to learn how to love, how to love you even more and openly express it to you but also, learn how to love himself, just as you loved him. 

“Thank you, (Y/n).”

[typical-simplelove]

Peter Pan (M. Tkachuk)

Summary: Based off of Kelsea Ballerini’s song, Peter Pan. What happens when Matthew strings you along in an adventure and can’t grow up?

A/n: This idea came to me and I wrote it in 2 hours. I’m sorry for any hurt I caused you. 

Warnings: Mentions of sex, Avengers: Endgame spoilers (yes, I’m a Marvel nerd), angsty (very), unresolved ending

Word Count: 5k (including song lyrics)

I hope you enjoy!!

Taglist: @goalision @coffee-ontherocks @glassdanse @barzal-burakovsky @petey-patty @boqvistsbabe @beauvibaby @heatherawoowoo @rmaye @mellany1997 @heaveniish @tkapuckit @stars-canucks   (Do you want to be tagged in my fics? Fill out this form.)

The smile, the charm, the words, the spark Everything, you had it I guess I had a naive heart, cause boy I let you have it You said I was your only I never thought you'd leave me lonely

There was something about him, something that drew you in. You couldn’t quite say what it was. However, it was there. Was it the way the sweet words of love and adoration flowed so easily from his mouth? Was it the charm he so easily expressed and had? Was it the way his hair sat on his head so beautifully? Was it the spark that you felt was there? No, the spark that you insisted was there? Was it ever there? You fell for him. Your naive heart fell for the boy. You couldn’t even call him a man. He was a boy. Playing with your feelings and your heart. He took what you gave him, ate it up, and came back to when he wanted. He said he was only seeing you. Did you believe him? Yeah, you did. You weren’t sure why. You knew the way he was. He acted like the boys in high school. He acted like your young cousins and brothers. Yet, you allowed yourself to fall for him. You fell for a boy who didn’t know how to be a man.

You fell for a boy. You fell for Matthew Tkachuk, a person who was notorious for being a boy who would do nothing but hurt you. Unable to ever be mature in romantic relationships. He wanted the adventure and the love. Matthew wanted all the easy parts and disappeared when things got hard. He always came back when things cleared up or when he needed someone to make his heart rush. You always let him back into your life despite what everyone said. You told them that it didn’t matter. Matthew cared for you. He had feelings for you. He wasn’t using you to have an adventure. He would smarten up and realize what you had to offer on his own time. Right?

Matthew Tkachuk was a boy. It was a mistake to fall for him, yet you did. You fell for him. You took the bread crumbs he gave you and ate them up. You never asked for more because deep down you knew that he wouldn’t give them to you.

Matthew Tkachuk was lost in Neverland. He was a lost boy. He refused to grow up. Why did he need to? He had all this money, glory, and fame at his disposal. There was no need for him to grow. He had a girl who was devout to him and would always be there. That was, until you left. Until you realized you deserved better. Matthew didn’t have you anymore when you realized that Matthew was Peter Pan and never wanted to grow up.

Sometimes good things have to end. Sometimes you have to think for yourself. That’s what you did. Matthew couldn’t give you what you wanted. You wanted someone to love you all the days of the year, not just when he wanted to. Matthew loved you on his terms - a sign of a boy. He was lost. You weren’t. You needed to leave, so you did. You left Matthew Tkachuk because he refused to grow up. You weren’t going to be there the next time he came running to you. Matthew wasn’t good for you. He couldn’t give you what you wanted. He was a boy who couldn’t have an adult relationship. He would keep coming back to you and telling you he changed. He didn’t. He never did. He never grew and never realized what he was doing.

The next time when Matthew came back to you, you were going to turn him away. You didn’t have time in your life for boys. You wanted, no deserved, someone who would care and love you in the way you should be.

You're just a lost boy, with your head up in the clouds You're just a lost boy, never keep your feet on the ground

The first time you met Matthew, you were on cloud nine. No one looked at you the way he did. No one smiled at you the way he did. No one made your heart rush in the way he did.

He bought you a drink as people do in bars. It was different, though. He didn’t want to sleep with you. No, he did but that wasn’t the ultimate goal. There was a glint in his eyes that told you that he didn’t want only a hookup. The way his smile curved when you didn’t walk away from him. That should have been the first sign. He was playing a game. He knew what he was doing. Matthew knows about girls like you. He knows that girls like you want someone to make them happy. Someone to come home to and to make memories with. He wanted a girl like you to be part of his tally. Matthew wanted you as one of his adventures.

And you let him do that to you. You let Matthew sweep you off your feet. You let Matthew use you to be one of his adventures of his bachelor life. He didn’t want something serious. You told yourself he would change his mind. You kept telling yourself that. He would eventually want something serious. Right? He just needed to realize what he wanted on his own. Matthew knew though, you weren’t going to have something serious with him. Matthew knew exactly what he was going and, deep down, you did, too. You knew Matthew was going to string you along and just make you one his stories he reflects on the night before his wedding. You were going to be one of those girls in his life that Matthew would look back on and say ‘thank you for making me realize that I wanted to settle down’. You weren't endgame for him even though you wanted him to be. There was no one on this planet who made your heart rush, made the heat instantly rush to your face, or made your smile just because you thought about him. There was no one quite like him in your life.

Matthew was different, you kept telling people. He was different. Your friends were telling you to be careful. That you did. You made sure you guard your heart because you didn’t want to get heartbroken. Slowly, though, Matthew chipped his way into your heart and it was only a matter of time before you fell. It was a matter of when not if; you’d collapse because Matthew couldn’t give you what you wanted.

At first, you and Matthew didn’t have any labels. You both could go out for drinks casually or maybe a movie night every now and then. Nothing monumental. You were ready, though, to take the next step. You wanted to be more with Matthew. You thought knew that he wanted the same thing, right? You both weren’t technically exclusive but it was also implied that you both weren’t seeing other people. Well, that’s what you thought. You didn’t talk to any other people other than Matthew. Why would you when you had Matthew? Someone who made you incredibly happy and made your insides all warm and fuzzy. You brought it up numerous times, yet he always brushed it off and said let’s not make anything too complicated. So, you didn’t. You left it at that because you wanted Matthew. You needed Matthew. Your life began to orbit around the Flames’ schedule because that’s what Matthew wanted. He was going on an adventure that made his heart rush. He knew exactly what he was doing. Matthew knew exactly what you wanted. He wasn’t going to give it to you, though. He was too lost and immature to realize how much he was hurting you and how much he would hurt you. To him, this was fine. Matthew was going to string you along and let you be.

This pattern continued on for six months. You and Matthew were, again, not exclusive but it was also implied that you weren’t seeing anyone else. So you thought. The first time Matthew hurt you and made you feel terrible and unworthy of any kind of love should have been a red flag. You shouldn’t even have to label it as the first time. It should just be ‘the time when’. No first, second, third, fourth, etc. Why did you let Matthew have this power over you? Easy, he made you feel loved, special, and happy.

Until he didn’t.

You went out for drinks with your friends a Friday night after work. You wanted to see Matthew; no, you were dying to see Matthew. He said he had plans, so you made your own plans. You put on the outfit that made you the most confident and if it happened to be the one you wore when you met Matthew, then so be it. You walk into the rowdy and raucous bar. You looked around and your face paled. You weren’t sure why it shocked you considering you and Matthew weren’t officially exclusive, but it still hurt. Matthew was sitting at a booth with three beautiful girls surrounding him. Girls that you knew he wouldn’t be stringing along if he were seeing them. You weren’t sure why it hurt so much. This was the game Matthew was playing. This was the adventure that he was taking. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t see him playing it, Matthew was stringing you along. This night was one of many where Matthew was playing. He was a boy. He didn’t want to grow up and realize what he had in front of him.

You tried to ignore Matthew that night, but you couldn’t. His laugh was ringing throughout the bar and it was the only thing you could hear. Your friends looked at you with pity in their eyes. Yes, they told you to be careful and this would be the perfect ‘I told you so’ moment but the sadness in your eyes stopped them. Your friends wanted to walk over to Matthew to confront him. They didn’t. You chose to forget and ignore what was happening across the bar.

At 11:24 that night, you decided you had had enough. You wanted to go home; you couldn’t take it anymore. You wanted to be the girl that Matthew was laughing with not watching it happen. You say goodbye to your friends and walk out of the bar. You wish it were that easy. On your way out, a guy who was probably your age ran into you and spilled his drink everywhere. You cried out in shock of the cold drink meeting your chest. The cry out made Matthew’s eyes perk up. He knew that sound. He isn’t sure why he recognized it. Matthew looked up and saw that you were talking to someone else. You were laughing and giggling with this guy. You didn’t tell him to get away. Matthew wanted to know why. Also, what were you doing there? Why didn’t you come up to him? Why didn’t you opt to go see him? One of the girls sitting next to him tapped Matthew’s shoulder and he realized why. You weren’t going to come up to him whilst he was preoccupied with someone else. That was the way you were. You thought about other people’s feelings first and didn’t overstep your boundaries.

Matthew instantly gets up. He has to fix this with you because then how else would he be able to continue his adventure? He needed you to be the one to excite him and make his heart race. Matthew ditched the girls and his friends at the booth and ran after you.

“Hey,” someone said to you as they grabbed your arm. You turn around and see Matthew’s face. “Why didn’t you come and say hi?”

You remember looking at Matthew with disgust. He wanted to know why you didn’t interrupt him talking with other girls? He was with other girls. This was one of those perfect opportunities to tell him how you felt but you couldn’t. You weren’t sure why. No, you could. You knew that if you told Matthew exactly why you didn’t go over to him, he wouldn’t want to keep seeing you. You didn’t want that. You couldn’t sabotage whatever this was. You needed Matthew in your life like you needed air to breath. So, you lied. “Oh, I actually didn’t see you.”

Matthew sighed a breath of relief. That means that you didn’t see those girls. That meant that the game he was stringing you along with was going to actually work. He could continue playing his game and continue the adventure you brought. “Why don’t you come in and hang out with my friends?”

You shake your head and try to blink back tears. You couldn’t. You would never fit in with those types of people. “I’m actually going to head home. Maybe another time?”

“Oh, come on, don’t be that way. Come, for me?” You so wanted to bend and go in with him. In the first time in this six month relationship, barely, you finally had a thought of sense.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” You walked away. You hoped, no begged, for Matthew to chase after you. To call out to you and insist you stayed. You wanted him to call out to text him that you got home safely. He didn’t. He walked back into the bar like it was no big deal and that he didn’t ruin your evening.

When you got home that night, you hopped in the shower and cried. You weren’t sure why you cried. The fact that Matthew made you cry should be another red flag to you. You were crying over a boy who didn’t care for  you the way you did. You were crying over a boy. A boy! Not even a man. Not someone who had complex feelings and thoughts. A boy who only wanted you for the thrill. He was only with you because he knew that you weren’t going to leave. He knew the game he was playing.

You're always gonna fly away, just because you know you can You're never gonna learn there's no such place as Neverland You don't understand You'll never grow up You're never gonna be a man Peter Pan

This kept happening. Matthew kept on stringing you along and you often cried yourself to sleep. You weren’t sure why you couldn’t leave. For the life of you, you couldn’t understand why Matthew had this effect on you. He was like a drug and you were addicted. You couldn’t stop being around him. You could be in the same room but twenty feet apart and you’d have this sense of tranquility. You weren’t sure why you even bothered with him. Six months after that night in the bar, Matthew and you still haven’t gone exclusive. You weren’t seeing or talking to anyone else. You assumed he wasn’t either.

The second time Matthew hurt you should have been the last time. For some reason, Matthew was intoxicating. You just couldn’t leave like he could so easily. Matthew had the ability to just randomly up and leave. He would talk to you for three or four days straight and then stop talking to you for weeks. You should have stopped talking to him altogether. You should have blocked his number and on Instagram. You just couldn’t do it. No matter how much you tried and hyped yourself up to block him, you couldn’t.

The second time. This time hurt more than it should have. He told you to meet him at a restaurant close to where you work. So you did, you brought a change of clothes to work so you’d look nice. You put a beautiful dress that accentuated your curves perfectly. He told you he put a reservation under his name. And he did. Matthew put a reservation for the two of you under his name at seven. You showed up at 7:15 thinking being fashionably late would strike your appeal. It didn’t. He wasn’t there. You told yourself he was running late, too. You sat down at your table and waited. You looked over the menu and people watched. Your phone hit 7:45 and you decided to text him. He didn’t reply. It was 8:00 when you realized he wasn’t going to show up. You were starving and didn’t want to make anything, so you ordered your meal. The waiting staff were nice and you think they put your meal as top priority. They probably realized that you got stood up and wanted to put you out of your misery. You left a generous tip.

You left the restaurant at 8:36 and was going to walk to the bus station. You were walking when you looked up and saw Matthew’s familiar head of hair. You stopped. Your heart broke into a million pieces. He stood you up for someone else. Is that what he’s been doing this time? Going to you for the emotion and love of a relationship and going to her for the excitement and fun and sex of a relationship. Was that all you were to him? A joke?

You watched Matthew and this other girl walk into a restaurant. You had to walk by the restaurant in order to get to the bus station. You prayed that they didn’t have a window seat. The universe didn’t like you that much. They had a window seat. Actually, they had an outdoor patio seat. You walked by them and begged for their attention not to be on you. You didn’t pay attention to them. You ignored them. You remember Matthew calling out to you. You heard him call you ‘someone he knows’ as if you two weren’t a thing. Well, you actually weren’t. Yes, you both slept together and went on dates. But, as you now know, doesn’t mean that you two were exclusive. Yes, you weren’t seeing anyone else but that didn’t mean he wasn’t. You got on the bus and willed the tears to stay away until you got home. It worked. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you cried whilst on the bus.

The minute you walked into your apartment, you collapsed. The tears began streaming down your face. You weren’t sure why you were letting yourself to continue getting hurt by him. He’s stood you up before; however, normally you didn’t catch him with another girl. Normally, he texted you an apology. Was he with her all this time? What were you doing? Matthew was playing a game with you that you didn’t know what the rules were. You were in uncharted territory. You were like Henry Hudson looking for the Northwest Passage. You were like the Avengers after it was revealed that Thanos had destroyed the Infinity Stones. You were lost.

The minute you walked into your apartment, you collapsed. The tears began streaming down your face. You weren’t sure why you were letting yourself to continue getting hurt by him. He’s stood you up before; however, normally you didn’t catch him with another girl. Normally, he texted you an apology. Was he with her all this time? What were you doing? Matthew was playing a game with you that you didn’t know what the rules were. You were in uncharted territory. You were like Henry Hudson looking for the Northwest Passage. You were like the Avengers after it was revealed that Thanos had destroyed the Infinity Stones. You were lost.

Despite this hurt, you kept on giving him excuses. You kept saying, what if he forgot? What if she was just a friend? You knew, however, deep down, that this wasn’t the case. You knew that Matthew didn’t care for you the way that you did.

You still went back to him. You went back to Matthew, the boy you cared for. The boy you were falling for. You were eating up the small bits of crumbs he gave you. You were waiting for the whole loaf. You were waiting on a boy who didn’t know what he was doing to you. You were falling for a boy. A boy! An immature boy who didn’t want to grow up. A boy who thought he lived in Neverland where he had forever to act like this. A boy who thought that it was okay to treat you like this. You were falling for a boy who would continue to fly away from you and then come back and you’d welcome him back. He flew away because he knew that you’d take him back. All this, and you had never been referred to as his girlfriend. You didn’t refer to him as your boyfriend because that’s not what you guys were. You were nothing but an adventure to him. You were nothing but an adventure that quickened his pulse. You were nothing more than just a girl who he could lead on and use for his games. You didn’t matter to him the way that Matthew mattered to you. Matthew didn’t carve out a part of his life for you the way that you did for him.

He was a boy lost in a world of adults.

Deep down, I knew that you were too good to be true But every piece and part of me wanted to believe in you But now it's happily ever never I guess now I know better

You wish you could say that after he stood you up, you stopped talking to him. It wasn’t. Sadly, Matthew still continued to hurt you. And you let him. You weren’t sure why. You kept telling people that the times that you were together made up for all of the times he hurt you. All those times he stood you up, ignored you, disappeared on you, or made you cry were made up with good memories. What were those good memories? Those were so far and in between that you couldn’t even remember what they were. If someone had to ask you what your favorite memory is with Matthew, you’d have to pause and think for a moment. Actually, many moments. Oftentimes, you changed the subject. Deep down, you knew that those memories didn’t exist. Matthew hasn’t made you happy in a long time. But, your heart raced every time that you saw him. That, to you, was enough to keep him in your life and not block him out.

One night, you were up waiting for Matthew. He had a Flames charity event and told you it was team only and no significant others. You believed him. You soaked it up and believed him. Matthew never gave you any reason for you to doubt what he was saying. He told you he’d stop by afterwards, so you waited. It was 10:57 when you got an Instagram notification. It was Annica. She posted a photo on Instagram. You open it up and look at the photo. Your face pales. She was at the charity event. So Matthew lied. That was the right thing for you to think. You think you wouldn’t have defended Matthew, right? Sadly, you made up excuses for him. Your conclusion was that only exclusive and labeled girlfriends could attend. That made sense, right? The Flames organization wouldn’t want some random girls to show up. Content with this answer, you closed your phone and returned back to the show you were watching.

You weren’t sure when Matthew would be home, so you texted him. You opened up Instagram to waste some time. You checked the time; it was 11:46. You scrolled and your eye caught on what the Flames had posted. It was photos from the Flames event that night. You swipe through the first three photos. All photos of the team. The fourth photo caught your attention. Matthew was standing there with Annica, Elias, Jacob, and another girl. Had this been any other situation, you would have assumed it was Jacob’s girlfriend. However, you knew he was single as he told you so just recently. Also, this was the same girl that Matthew was with the night he stood you up. To make matters worse, she was standing at the end of the picture and Matthew’s hand was visibly on her waist. You click on the photo and see that she’s tagged. You go to her profile and sigh in relief that it’s public. You notice that she’s updated her story. The first photo is of her and Matthew taking a mirror selfie in an elevator. The second photo is of Matthew kissing her. Matthew was kissing another girl. He lied. Matthew lied. He was in this relationship with another girl and was still seeing you. He was kissing you and sleeping with you as if it were no big deal. Did she know? Did the team know? You’ve met the team numerous times. Did they know? You look through her feed and see many photos of Matthew. Them on dates or just out and about. Matthew was hurting you and stringing you along. He didn’t care.

You weren’t sure why this time you finally realized what was happening. You weren’t sure why it was this instance that finally broke your heart. You couldn’t take it. You immediately blocked Matthew on Instagram and unfollowed everyone on his team and anyone you followed because they were friends with Matthew. You went and blocked his phone number and deleted every photo of him. In the morning, you decided that you would purge your apartment of anything Matthew. You went to bed and cried yourself to sleep.

You fell for a boy who used you for a game. You fell for a boy who only wanted an adventure. You fell for a boy who only wanted to play. There was nothing more than that. He never cared for you in the way you did. He led you on for almost two years and you defended him. You let him do this to you. Yes, Matthew was to blame but so were you. You let him do this to you.

He was Peter Pan and you were Wendy. You grew up but he didn’t.

You're always gonna fly away, just because you know you can You're never gonna learn there's no such place as Neverland You don't understand You'll never grow up You're never gonna be a man Peter Pan

The next morning, you got rid of anything that reminded you of Matthew. You also told your landlord that you were not going to renew your lease at the end of the month. You had to leave. You knew that if Matthew had any way of finding you, you’d let him in and back into your life. You started looking for new apartments and a new job. You couldn’t stay in Calgary. You had to leave. You couldn’t stay in a city where someone who broke you so badly was.

You stayed in a short term apartment until you found a new job and place outside of Calgary. You couldn’t stay at the apartment you were at. You knew Matthew and you knew that he’d just randomly stop by to surprise you. Normally, that would make your heart melt. Now, you were callous and ruthless. You couldn’t let him into your life. You couldn’t let yourself see him. You knew that the minute you looked into his eyes and saw his smile, you’d cave. You refused to let yourself do that.

You got a message from Jacob the other day. You read it but ignored it. You didn’t care that it would be marked as read. He said something about how you disappeared off the face of the earth and Matthew was scared as to where you were. Now he cares? Not all of these other times that he broke your heart and made you cry? Most people would find that sweet and romantic. You knew better. You knew that he knew that you finally caught onto his game. You know that he knows. He’s worried that you’re going to tell this other girl the truth.

Jacob sent you another message shortly after saying that he was worried about you, not Matthew. Your heart warmed knowing that someone cared about you; however, you were skeptical. You didn’t want to open your heart again. You replied to Jacob and told him that you were fine. Jacob must have told Matthew because Matthew emailed you. He went to the effort to look for your work email and send a message. You almost caved. You were about to reply but then you remembered what he did and you ignored it. You blocked his email.

Two days later, you found a new job. You were moving to Toronto for a new job. You gave your two weeks notice and planned everything you possibly could to leave right away. The longer you were in Calgary the more it hurt. When the day finally came to go to Toronto, you breathed a sigh of relief. You were sad to leave your friends and to be far from your family. However, you knew that you needed to heal and find yourself again. Your friends and family knew that you couldn’t heal or find yourself again if you remained in Calgary.

You fell for a boy who couldn’t give you what you wanted. You let this boy take your feelings and use them the way he wanted. You let him ruin you. You let Matthew Tkachuk do what he wanted and you didn’t fight back. He was lost and didn’t want to grow up. You knew that one day, Matthew was going to realize that he made a mistake. He should have locked you down because you were amazing. He’s, somehow, going to find you and you know you’re not going to let him get to you. Because he was never going to grow up. One day, Matthew will find someone who he loves and will want to have a true relationship with. Sadly, that wasn’t you. However, if this thing with Matthew can teach you something, it’s that you know what you deserve. You deserve someone who will love and care for you. This person won’t stand you and see other girls. This person won’t drag you along for almost two years and not make anything official. You weren’t going to date a boy ever again.

You weren’t going to date someone who was a child and lived in Neverland. Never again. Someone like Peter Pan never learns and never grows. One day, when you find yourself again, you’ll open your heart to love again. Someone like Matthew Tkachuk isn’t going to ruin that for you.

Your home of Calgary may forever be tainted with terrible memories, but your new home of Toronto is home to change and growth you’ve made.

Matthew Tkachuk used you in an adventure in his life and used you like you were a game. Nothing mattered to him. He didn’t care. He just knew that you’d always let him back into your life and forgive him. This time, you know better. You’re not going to welcome him back.

You weren’t going to fall for a boy who didn’t know how to grow up. Peter Pan lost Wendy because he couldn’t grow up, and Matthew lost you because he couldn’t grow up.

Yeah, you'll never grow up And you're never gonna be a man Peter Pan Never gonna be a man

[ushiwakaout]

Could I request headcanons on how Todoroki, Bakugo, Midoriya and Kirishima (you don't have to do all of them!) would react to their S/O flinching away from them during an arguement, like they're scared they are gonna hurt them or something? Thanks!

I GOTTA SAY THIS: I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH AND AS AN ASPIRING WRITER IT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY TO READ YOUR WORKS! HAVE A LOVELY DAY!!!

Todoroki would probably hate himself.

It’s not common (like at all) that you two have argument. He hated raising his voice at you but you insisted in having this conversation that now became an argument. You kept telling him that maybe his father was willing to change, maybe it’s better to forget the past- and that’s when he snap. Vivid memories of his abuse clouded his judgement when he yelled at you, telling you about his abuse. Yelling at you about how you know nothing about the number one pro hero. But when he realized it, he backed you onto your desk as you knuckles grew while from how tight you’ve been holding the desk, with a slight tinge of fear in your eyes. When he went up to reach for your, he noticed the sudden flinch. Todoroki begins to back up, realizing what he had just done. “I... I’m sorry...” His voice is back to its quiet nature. His hands are lightly shaking as he looks at the floor. You can tell he regrets raising his voice. “Sho... Hey- Look at me?” Your now standing in front of him, with your fingertips under his chin. “I know what your thinking... You’re not becoming your father, Sho.” He shakes his head, “I scared you...” He muttered, “I saw it, in your eyes. You where scared.” You sigh and take his hands in yours, hesitating before speaking. “I- I want you to tell me what happened, I want to be there for you... I know you would never hurt me.” A soft smile crept on Todorokis lips when you tucked a strand of his white hair behind his ear. “Can we lay down please.” You nodded and let him lay on the bed, opening his arms to pull you in tight.

Bakugo would definitely rethink his whole life decisions.

He never noticed it until now, but whenever you’re around him you have the tendency to flinch. It was a normal day at school, when he saw you where the first person at their table and he decides to walk up to you. Reaching to pet your head, is when you flinched, and he hesitated to lay his hand on you. You opened up an eye to see why the impact hadn’t come yet, but his hand just drops to his side and he sits by you, not saying a word. You don’t really question it but it worries you just a little. So when it comes to having alone time he’s on the opposite side of the room doing his work and you’re getting lonely. He hand held your hand or touched you ever since lunch and you’re becoming bakugo deprived. You pull his chair backwards and he looks at you a little surprise when you begin to crawl into his lap, your chest facing his. “Hold me...” You whimper to him while wrapping your arms behind his neck. “I never want you to do that again... I missed you.” Bakugo wrapped his arms around you and began to caress your back, “I’m right here, we’ve been together all day.” He tells you in a roll of the eyes tone. “No- I mean... you didn’t even hold my hand today... or give me a head pat... Are you going to break up with me?” A small sniffle interrupts you mid sentence and Bakugo took noticed, he pulled you away to see you water filled eyes and his heart broke. He didn’t touch you today because he thought he would hurt you, but it seems like he ended up doing that anyways. “No! N-no you idiot.... I just-” He pulled you back into his arms, “I don’t want you to think that i’d ever hurt you intentionally... I’m- sorry i’m rough around the edges.” He hold you in his arms for a long time before he even dares to let go.

Midoriya, oh boy... He would think himself unworthy of you.

Considerably, you never had an argument with Izuku. Never. But today, now as Third years, you found yourself ignoring your boyfriend. It made the whole classroom tense up and Aizawa had enough of it. “You two-” He pointed at Izuku and then you, “Out of my classroom and resolve your problems.” The two of you hesitated before getting up, “Now!” The teacher yelled, before the two of you went walking out of the classroom. While the two of you stood in the empty hallway, Izuku decided to speak up first. “You’re going to get yourself killed.” He said, making you roll your eyes. “Look who’s talking...” You mutter. “What you did on that mission was reckless!” You scoffed. “Me? Being reckless? I saved your life!” Your voice began to echo through the hall as your index finger poked at his chest. “Save my life? All you did was get in the way!” It shocked you to hear him say that. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be in the fucking hospital! Don’t you understand that i’m trying to fucking help here?! You can’t do everything alone Izuku!” He took a step forward, “Then maybe I should!” Goosebumps ran down your spine, was this really how it was going to end. “Oh yeah? And then what? Run to Toshinoris grave and ask his for advi-” He didn’t let you finish your sentice when he grabes your arms and pushed you against the wall, causing you to whimper in pain. It wasn’t unusual that Izuku forgot how strong he really was. “Don’t...” He muttered, squeezing you arms thighter “ ‘Zuku you’re-” He cut you off “Why would you say that, you know he’s been there for me more than anyone has and-” “MIDORIYA YOU’RE HURTING ME!” Izuku immediately let go, it’s been two years since you’ve used his formal name. He watched as you winced at the feeling of moving your arm, “I’m sorry-” He reached for your arm and you flinched back against the wall slapping his hand away, “I- um.. I’m fine, just.... I’m going to the nurses...” You walked ahead of him quickly and stuffed in a cry into the palm of your hand. Izuku just stood back and watched as you walked away. Maybe this time he shouldn’t reach out for you, maybe this way you won’t get hurt.

Kirishima, oh man... He’d probably find a way to better himself for you.

After he’s had a hard day, the last thing he expects when he comes back from the dorm is you messing around with Sero. Not like cheating but, playing around in the kitchen since both of you had kitchen duty. He saw the way both of you got along so when and you didn’t even notice him when he came in. He’s just standing mid hallway and Sero notices him first. “Oh, hey man! How was training?” You turn around and give him a bright smile, you don’t say anything but run up to him and hug him but he doesn’t hug back, he’s stiff and gives you a sad smile, muttering that he’s tired and that he’ll just leave you two alone. It’s a little confusing at first when he isn’t his smiley self but you shrug is off, everyone has their bad days- even Kirishima. You look at Sero and he mouths something but you shrug at him and continue to do the cooking. A few second later, it begins to pick at you- luckily Bakugo passed by and you pulled at his wrist. “Finish this up for me yeah, Kirishima’s acting weird and I wanna check up on him.” Bakugo begins to for a sentence and you point the knife at him from afar and smile sweetly. “I’m not asking, now take the knife.” You turns the knife on it’s handle and put it in his hands before you walk away. When you reach his door, you knock but there is no response. “Kiri... can I come in?” You hear a faint sure and you walk in. The second you walk in and close the door, he sit up on his bed and buries his head in his hands. “I think we should break up...” He says, when you take a few steps closer to him. You freeze, “W-what? Why would you say that?” He doesn’t answer and you take a few steps closer to reach out for his shoulder but he just ends up slapping it away, “You heard me, y/n... Just get out.” 

“Kiri- come on let’s just talk about it-”

“Just get out!” He notices the way you flinch at his voice. “Hey, can we talk about this please, I- I don’t understand... Everything is going great, right? Why do you wanna break up?” Kirishima shook his head and sighed. “I’m not good enough for you Y/n... I’m never going to manly enough for you, I just need time to become enough for you.” Your breath got caught in your throat, and ran to tackle him onto his bed. “YOU’RE ENOUGH! OF COURSE YOUR ENOUGH! Don’t be dumb baby... Why would you ever think that?” Kirishima wrapped his arms around your waist, “You just looked so happy with Sero... I though it would be better this way.” You bonked Kirishima’s spiky hair and he giggled into you r neck. “I promise I’ll try to be better...” 

A/N: I def side tracked while writing these- I am so sorry. Hopefully you liked this! 

[floralovebot]

I really liked your aisha meta about her bonding and i was wondering what you think is her biggest weakness? And the other characters too if that's okay. Thank you:)

Oh thank you!! Hmm I had to think about this one for a second but I'll try to give you some good answers! Though to be fair, I think most of what I listed are things that have already been said aljdhgjladg

I do want to note, I think all of the major characters had room for growth and self-development especially within the first three seasons. We all know that characterization made a huge nose dive after season 4, so I'm not really going to be talking about the later seasons as they aren't super representative of their personalities (however, i will occasionally mention them for certain characters). \

Anyway, onto our beloved characters mental issues and why they should all be in therapy <3

The Winx

Bloom: I think Bloom is actually a very well rounded main character! She has positives and negatives and those don't often conflate with each other (and I think most of her "too perfect" characterization comes from later seasons). Because of that, I had a hard time thinking about what her biggest weakness is because,, she has a few. However, I think something that stays very consistent throughout the series is her escapism. Bloom is a major escapist, especially when she's feeling unworthy. She has a lot on her plate! And a lot of people rely on her, which naturally can lead to some pretty heavy thoughts ("Am I doing the right thing?" "Do I deserve to be the leader?" "What if they're safer without me?"), however those feelings, when they become too much, often leave her feeling like people are truly better off without her. Then she runs off to Gardenia or she shuts people out or she takes on some dangerous mission just to get away from people. Her escapism often leaves everyone, including her, feeling shitty and it would've been nice to see her grow from that.

Stella: Hmmm, so again most of the early characterization gave the characters a couple of weaknesses so I had a hard time thinking of what Stella's biggest one would be. However, something that I've always noticed about Stella that's always made me feel bad, is her extreme I Need To Fit In Or No One Will Love Me attitude. And obviously that goes into her childhood and upbringing, but it's something that stays with her even after meeting the Winx and having all those You're Perfect The Way You Are talks with Bloom. She often changes her personality/attitude/emotions to fit what she thinks other people will like most. But that heavily goes into her insecurities of thinking people only like her because she's pretty or a princess. Stella's a smart girl and she notices how people respond to what she's doing. But when she's changing something about herself to get others to like her and they respond positively to it? That's horrible for her overall self-esteem and to her just confirms her fears that people don't love her for her true self.

Edit: I absolutely don't want to come off as if I'm saying Stella's personality is fake! Here's a further explanation for hers!

Flora: I think some people might disagree with me on this one, but I genuinely believe Flora's biggest weakness is how often she rushes into something. On one hand, it's admirable and shows how strong she is, but on the other hand, it says a lot about how she lets her emotions run her and often doesn't think things through when someone she loves is in danger or she thinks she needs to do something Right Now. Unless someone else prompts it, Flora often doesn't plan or try to think things through rationally. I don't think it's a bad thing to be in tune with your emotions, but it can become a weakness when you only ever think with your heart and what it's feeling at That Moment In Time. Instead of trying to think rationally or make a plan, Flora often just follows her heart immediately, but that can be a bad thing when her heart is hurting and she's not thinking clearly.

Aisha: It's definitely her attitude of needing to appear emotionally strong all the time. Aisha gives more of herself than she receives from others and a lot of that comes from her need to be seen as Reliable and Good. However, that often means she doesn't get the time to sit with how she's feeling or she pushes her emotions down. She doesn't want people to know that she's feeling upset because she doesn't want people to feel bad for her or use their energy to comfort her. Aisha is definitely a "other people have it worse so what happened to me doesn't matter" kind of person and that's often what hurts her the most. She doesn't let herself be vulnerable and often only does so when she truly can't handle it by herself anymore. And I think this heavily goes into her childhood and how she's had to be independent from a very young age. Aisha doesn't know how to let other people in.

Tecna: Hmmm, on one hand I'd like to say it's her internal battle with her logical side vs her emotional side,, so I'm going to. Personally, I think Tecna is a lot better at emotions than she gives herself credit for, and I think that's her biggest weakness. She doesn't give herself any credit when it's something that doesn't come naturally to her. Tecna had to work on being more emotive and reading other people's emotions correctly and by S2 she's already doing so much better than she was, but she refuses to recognize that. Tecna is so stuck in the "what if i'm too logical/not emotional enough and my friends hate me because of it" headspace that she doesn't even see the progess she has made. Honestly, Tecna being too logical/not emotional enough hasn't been a real issue for years and she doesn't even realize that. It's a little ironic actually, she's so caught up in her emotions about being too logical she can't see how far she's come.

Musa: Her trust issues. Personally, I think Musa's biggest weakness is her problem with trusting people. Because she just.. doesn't. Musa has a really hard time letting people in (for rightful reasons) but she once she does let them in, she has a hard time trusting them too. This is most obvious with her relationship with Riven, but it also comes out with the Winx! She's constantly scared that people are going to leave her or that they don't really like her or that they do like her but she's going to end up driving them away and all of that negatively impacts her relationship with others. She just,, doesn't trust people and has an even harder time trusting herself. I think if Musa had been allowed to truly work through that, she would be much happier.

The Specialists

Sky: I think Sky's biggest weakness is pretty obvious! It's that he does not know how to interact with people. I think I'm one of the few people that doesn't actually hate Sky. I hate that, just like the other characters, he had room for improvement and self-realization, which got scrapped almost instantly for Perfect Prince Sky. Sky, like most of the other royal characters, grew up pretty lonely (and his parents are abslute shit). The only other people he would ever talk to are members of his family, other royals, or people who weren't royal but were close enough to it (ie Brandon and even Diaspro depending on which canon you go by). Because of this, Sky has a really hard time interacting with people in a casual setting. He's great in royal settings and all their missions, but that's because he's allowed to and supposed to act all serious and Business Like. When it comes to talking to people in casual settings, he often fails because he doesn't understand "normal" people and he's never been allowed to just,, sort through his own feelings. It would've been amazing to Sky grow from this, because even in the first season you see hints of Sky rejecting royalty and wanting to be normal. MAN I wish Sky got proper characterization, he would've been so much better if he did.

Brandon: Oh man,, I had a really hard time with this one, because Brandon honestly doesn't have a lot of weaknesses? I think something that could be considered a weakness is that,, he's very devoted once he decides he cares about someone. Which isn't bad! But it often puts him in dangerous situations because he wants to save someone. Like anytime Sky gets into trouble, Brandon is for sure right by his side. Or if someone messes with Stella? Brandon's there. And again, this definitely isn't a Bad Thing, but it can put his own life in danger. And in their line of work it often does. However, I do think this is mostly evened out because of Brandon's ability to call for help and think of a plan. He doesn't often just jump into things unless it's absolutely necessary. He's able to think things through clearly and strategize. Sorry anon but I honestly can't think of any Big Weakness for Brandon, because most of his weaknesses are evened out by some positive. (Like, I was going to say he's a bit of a pushover but,, is he? Then I thought well maybe it's because he's ready to die for Sky,, but like. That's his job? Idk man,, any Brandon stans wanna chime in please?)

Timmy: Hmmm I, once again, had some troubles with this one. Timmy has a few weaknesses, mostly in the insecurity region, but I had a hard time figuring out what his Biggest Weakness is. After some thought, I think it's his eagerness to prove himself, specifically when he doesn't need to. I think this definitely evened out in the later seasons once he got some confidence, but in the early seasons Timmy really wanted to prove himself. He wanted to prove that he was a good specialist, a good friend, a good partner,, just,, everything. He was really set out to prove that he was capable of things. This often put him in dangerous situations that he couldn't handle or something he could handle but was too nervous to. It didn't help that in early seasons some of the other characters doubted his abilities (cough tecna cough). But again, I think this really evened out by S4 and it's not a big problem anymore.

Riven: Ugh goodness where to start.. I think Riven's biggest weakness is actually a mix of Musa's and Timmy's. Riven has a hard time trusting people, especially himself, and he's constantly trying to prove himself. He wants to be seen as reliable and Good and that's where a lot of his competition with other characters, mostly Sky, comes in. But that heavily mixes with his distrust and hatred toward himself. I think most of his Trying To Prove Himself is actually him trying to prove something to himself. He's constantly looking down on himself and that need to prove and be better than other people is a product of that. And I think that's also why he has problems with letting people in. Obviously, he has some general trust issues, with wondering if people just don't like him and what not, but a lot of it is not trusting himself and not letting people get close to him because of that. Riven's biggest weakness is that he doesn't give himself any credit for the progress he's made and is constantly doubting whether or not he's a good person. And that messes with his relationships a lot because he thinks he's not good enough to be around people and that sparks his need to to prove himself. And even when his friends do try to comfort him or say he's enough, he doubts that too. Riven has a lot of problems but most of them go into how much he hates himself.

Helia: Well, as one of the resident Helia stans, I've thought about this a lot. And I've got to say, his biggest weakness is his complete inability to talk about himself. A lot of people think Helia is really good at talking about emotions, but that's only partially true. He's good at talking about other people's emotions. When it comes to himself,,, he's a mess. Helia is consistently really bad at sharing his feelings and even just general tidbits about his life (evidenced by all the times he does/says something and the others get surprised because they never knew that,, years into their friendship). However, this often strains his relationships with people because they end up thinking he hates them or doesn't trust them or something else. While I have my own issues with the later seasons, S5 did a really good job at focusing on this in the show (when it really only ever got hinted at or shown in the comics). The whole Flora/Helia/Krystal thing was a major product of Helia never sharing anything about his own life and Flora's insecurities over if she's good enough. With the mix of being able to talk to people about their feelings, but never his own, it creates this really awkward situation of people just like,, not knowing things about him and then doubting their relationship, but then not being confident enough to express that because Helia still talks to them about their feelings so he must care about them!! .. but does he? It's this internal struggle of he's obviously a friend but why doesn't he ever share anything about himself?? This is even shown in his relationship with Saladin, a literal family member!

I'm.. gonna stop here for now ajghaljdhglj I'm sorry this got so long! And that some of them were shorter than others..

[joheun-saram]

Christmas Under Wraps (ksj)

Summary- You always wanted to work in a small town, and when you finally got matched to a small hospital in Alaska for your one year sabbatical you never would’ve thought you’d be in a place where everyone believed Santa was real. Mass hysteria or magic? Only time will tell.

word count- 12k

pairing- nurse!Seokjin x doctor!Reader

rating- R

genre- fluff, smut

warnings- very bad puns, me having no knowledge of Alaska, cheating, shitty parents, mentions of the horrendous Mario movie, softdom!Jin, whiny!Jin, explicit sex, oral sex (f and m receiving), edging (kinda), multiple orgasms, too many references to Santa

a.n- Part of @suhdays​ Hallmark Holiday Collab! Please check other beautiful holiday pieces written by some amazing writers. Full disclosure, this fic took me more than a month to write, mostly because I have only seen like three Christmas movies, and one of them was Die Hard and the other was Nightmare before Christmas, so please let me know what you think! Was this Christmasy enough for you? 

s/o to the amazing @namyoongles​ for the banner! ily! 💕

As always feedback appreciated. Send me an ask! 💌

-

“Mr Henderson, I really need you to watch your carbohydrate intake. Your blood sugar indicates pre-diabetes and with your history of angina, it really is important that you keep this in check. I’m going to need you to do a monthly fasting glucose check for the next three months so we see some results. Okay?”

You look over at the smiling overweight septuagenarian seated in front of you. Mr Henderson was one of your favourite patients, one of the few you knew well enough to remember even his grandchildren’s name. You loved that. Being a doctor in a busy hospital in Manhattan made making a lasting connection with a patient a rare occurrence, and although you were worried about his health, you were happy you the last appointment of your five years of residency was with someone you knew.

“Doc, I’m old. A little dessert never hurt anyone huh?” Mr Henderson joked, as he patted his stomach, the buttons of his shirts working hard to keep it together.

“I’m serious, Mr Henderson,” you speak sternly, looking up from your iPad screen at the man in front of you, just as your attending walks in through the door.

“Well, Mr Henderson you better listen to Dr. Y/L/N. She’s the best we’ve got and she will keep calling you in for appointments even if she isn’t here!” She adjusts her glasses, her hands in the pockets of her lab coat, as the two delve into a conversation about her upcoming retirement. You were sad to see your mentor and friend retire, but if you were being honest, it was that fact that gave you the courage to make your big move. 

Your colleagues and friends were shocked when you announced that you were moving to Alaska. You had always been the top of your program and had an assortment of top specialization programs to choose from. In fact, your father was the most shocked. He expected you to follow his footsteps and specialize in internal medicine from the prestigious program at John Hopkins. He had even spoken to one of his friends on the admission board to ensure your acceptance. 

He almost choked on his dinner when you mentioned that you had accepted the family medicine specialization program in the small town of Elophtron in Alaska. He was livid, having never even heard of the town, let alone the program, deeming it unworthy of his 28 year old prodigy. But that’s the thing. You were twenty eight. There was no way you would let your father, or anyone for that matter, dictate what to do with your career. 

The only person who seemed to support your decision was your long term boyfriend, Jiho, who seemed ecstatic at the news. He was the first person you told. You were nervous when you broke the news, the two of you had been a little distant the past few months, but your worries were assuaged when he pulled you in a tight hug excitedly telling you how proud he was of you. He knew how much you wanted to take a break from the city, and seeing his enthusiastic support made you confident you were making the right move.

Born and raised in New York City, the overcrowded bustle of the city thrummed through your veins. While you did pride yourself on being a true New Yorker, you would be lying if you said that you were happy here. It was easy to be lost here, to be forgotten amongst the millions of faces crossing the streets. As often as the city lights cheered you up, they also suffocated you. 

The city was cold, a criss cross of concrete and beautiful glass towers housing lonely, selfish souls that didn’t mind tripping over the people sleeping in the streets. People here craved to be noticed, craved to live lavishly, and while you were born into what most craved, what you wanted was the solace of a town where everyone knew each other. A town where you could make lasting relationships that didn’t rely on your last name or where you graduated from.  Elopthron, although a terribly sci-fi sounding town name, was your reprieve from the smog filled mundane.

The days leading up to your departure were full of excitement. You packed quickly, your closet surprisingly fitting into two bags that barely avoided the baggage limit. Your friends hosted a cute little going away party, full of champagne and promises to visit, while your parents hosted a cold dinner, full of lectures and judgement. As your flight landed in Juneau, your heart was beating with nerves. This specialization was at the town’s only hospital, the fact that all the town’s medical talent was under one roof had you excited to learn. Not only that, but the program stated that you would get the opportunity to run things and you couldn’t wait to put your leadership skills to the test again - you were the chief resident at your old hospital and you couldn’t say that the role didn’t suit you.

Collecting your bags, albeit with a little struggle, you reach the doors to the arrivals where the hospital had told you to meet the driver. That is another thing about this dream opportunity, they not only ensured you had a ride into town, but even provided you with your own apartment. To your shock, the driver you meet takes you not to a car but another plane, a small little thing that shakes with every gust of wind. 

It makes you nervous, the shaking rattling your heart around your chest, but the view of the snow covered mountains takes your breath away. You were never one to swoon over nature, preferring your apartment to the hiking trips Jiho got excited about, but seeing the fresh untouched snow stirred something in you. It promised fresh starts and unchartered challenges, and that made your heart beat faster in anticipation.

The feeling didn’t subside even when you made yourself comfortable in your new apartment. The warm wooden finishing was a stark contrast to the metal of your home in Manhattan and as you started the fire before hanging your clothes in the small wardrobe in the corner of your room, you couldn’t stop the grin etching across your features. You were finally here.

The apartment was on the first floor of a two storey complex. It was much smaller than your expansive home, but instead of suffocating it felt cozy. The front door opened to a small hallway furnished simply with a cute oak shoe rack and a full length mirror. It led to an open concept kitchen and living room, separated by a breakfast island. The living room had a large fireplace, stack of wood next to it, and a large yellow couch opposite it. Furnishing was minimal, but your bedroom boasted a large queen sized bed, anchored on each side by matching nightstands and a wardrobe in the corner. 

It was everything you didn’t know you craved as you settled in your bed for the night, noting to thank the hospital for even providing the bedding. As you stared at the wooden slats that decorated the ceiling of your bedroom, you felt comforted. It was unlike your home, where the high ceilings made you feel cold and alone, even when Jiho stayed over. Perhaps you needed this new beginning more than you thought.

The morning was not as serene however, as you somehow managed to turn off your alarm without waking up and were running half an hour behind schedule when you realised you didn’t have a coffee maker. Scrambling out into the cold early December weather you pulled your expensive but utterly useless coat around you as you followed your map app to the closest and seemingly only coffee shop on the one strip of shops the town boasted.

Checking the time to see you still had about half an hour till work started, you slowed down a little to take in the surroundings. Quaint did not cover how cute the small town was. The main strip was a large two way street with a row of little independently owned shops on either side with names such as Once Upon a Book, A Nick in Time, and Thorns and Roses. You didn’t know what these shops housed, although you could guess some, and you couldn’t wait to explore. The cutest thing about the shops was how festive everything looked, fairy lights strung everywhere, mistletoe and wreaths in every window. Like you had stepped into the Grinch’s nightmare, and it was barely October. This might possibly be the most fairytale like town you’d ever stepped foot into. 

You easily located the small coffee shop, chuckling at the ostentatious pink board reading Bean There. It seemed more like an 70’s style diner than a coffee shop, filled with small vinyl tables, each with a small Christmas tree on it. Making your way to the counter, you ordered your usual, blond roast coffee with a splash of almond milk.

“Oh sorry hon. We only have normal coffee and cow’s milk,” the older woman standing behind the cash register answered with a jolly laugh, pouring coffee from a pot into a red to-go cup. Before you could say anything, she continued. “Besides, that’s some hippy stuff. We’ve been drinking cow’s milk for generations and our family has never been healthier! I swear these trends are killing the economy!”

And she talked, going on and on about the benefits of milk giving you no time to interrupt as she poured a copious amount of milk into your coffee making it resemble a latte. You were about to give up and forego the coffee this morning till someone behind you decided to speak up.

“Doris! What did we say about forcing the tourists to drink your farm’s milk?” You followed the deep, joyous voice to its owner, blinking a few times as you registered the tall, dark haired man behind you. Oh and what a man he was. 

Dressed in black skinny jeans and a red flannel shirt under a fur-lined denim jacket, your eyes zeroed in on his broad shoulders. The instant attraction you felt to this stranger had heat rising up your neck. Emboldened by the fact that you would probably not see this stranger again, you let your eyes roam his body, biting your lip slightly, till your eyes met his, a small smirk on his lips. Clearing your throat you awkwardly stepped forward.

“It’s okay. No problem, Doris, was it?”

“No no. You want almond milk, you get almond milk! Doris I know for a fact you have it back there!” The stranger stops you from grabbing the drink on the counter, a hand held up.

“Seokjin! I see how it is! Just because a pretty girl wants almond milk, you share but not when Jeremy wanted to try it.” Doris huffs, straightening her bright yellow apron.

“Jeremy was drinking it as a dare, and I’d rather not waste one of the ten cartons that Dosey orders every month on stupidity.”

“Um… Really it’s fine! I’m going to be late for work so… thank you!” You try to escape. As much as your lactose intolerant gut was wincing at the thought of almond milk, you had spent way more time here than you planned.

“Wait, work? Hon you’re not a tourist at all! Where are you working?” It seemed you only made the conversation more interesting as Doris looked at you beaming.

“At the hospital?”

“You’re the new doctor? Oh my! Welcome Doc! We’re so excited to have you here! I suppose you’ll be seeing a lot of Seokjin then!” She slapped the stranger, Seokjin you suppose, on the shoulder as he stares at you with wide eyes before catching himself and clearing his throat.

“Doris! Will you just make the pretty doctor her drink then? Mine too please!” He leans on the counter and you can’t help but steal another glance at him. He really was oddly beautiful.

“Sure hon! Here you go!” Doris chuckled as she placed two coffees on the counter and you’re pleased to see yours looking exactly how you prefer. You take out your wallet before Seokjin stops you.

“Don’t worry about it. Put it on my tab Doris. Here, let me walk you to work.” He guides you out of the little cafe, a hand hovering near the small of your back.

“I’m sure you have better things to do. I’ll be fine.”

“Oh it’s no problem at all. I’m going there myself.” 

“Oh. Are you a resident?” You did not expect that. By his attire you assumed he worked some manual labour, and by his face you assumed he worked as a model. Somehow you couldn’t picture seeing this man living at a library like you had your years of schooling.

“Nope. Head nurse. So Doris is right, you’ll be seeing me a lot.” He grinned at you, his cheeks puffing up in a way that made you want to poke them. What was in the air in this town? You needed to get a grip on yourself.

“Oh nice to meet you then! I’m -”

“Dr. Y/L/N from New York, right?” Seokjin cut you off before you could finish, looking at you over the lip of his cup as he sipped his coffee, casually guiding you down the main street towards the hospital.

“Right… Seokjin?”

“Yup. Kim Seokjin. How are you liking our little town so far?” He seemed genuinely interested and you smiled. It felt oddly comfortable even if you had inklings of butterflies swarming your belly.

“I love it. It’s really beautiful!”

“Oh wow. Didn’t expect a New Yorker to like it here. You know it’s always cold, right?” he smirked, slowing down as you reached a cute little pink house, before stopping completely.

“I can handle the cold. Wait, this is the hospital?” You looked at the house. It looked more like something a grandma would reside in than a hospital. You were used to glass buildings and top of the art hospitals. As you entered, the door opened to a large waiting area with faded vinyl chairs and a reception desk. It was cozy, but you couldn't believe this was the only hospital in town.

“The one and only. The town’s going to be so excited to finally have a doctor 

again!” His words made you sputter, almost choking on your coffee.

“What do you mean, finally? Where are the other doctors?”

“You’re it!” He grinned.

This was not according to plan. You were here to learn. Learn from people much more well-versed in medicine than you were. You did not expect to be the only doctor. Even if the town only had around 2,000 people, it was still outrageous that you would be the only person treating them, and in this small house. Does this place even have any imaging machines?!

As the day went on, your nerves only increased. Seokjin introduced you to the other people who worked at the hospital. There were only three others, two orderly, and another nurse. There were more people in your friend group of residents back home. This was scary, and as you laid in bed that night, all you wanted to do was talk to Jiho and get comforted. He didn't pick up, and you counted the slates on your ceiling to fall asleep, pushing your mind to rest no matter how alone you felt all of a sudden.

----------

Turns out you were not that alone. Within a month you had finally gotten into the groove of things. Your five-person team gelled together pretty fast, and soon you could anticipate each other's moves and even talk without words. Running a hospital, however, was not all you had cracked it up to be in your head. Although you didn't see too many patients daily, the paperwork kept you way past dinner most days. If it weren’t for Seokjin’s insistence to leave at the same time as you, you might as well had moved into your office.

All in all, it was nice. The town had welcomed you with open arms, and it was exactly what you were looking for when you left Manhattan - a place where everyone knew your name and not because of who your family was, where you could walk into a coffee shop and they'd know your order, where you knew your neighbours and attended extravagantly cheesy block parties. Elopthron had its quirks, how almost everyone here put way too much emphasis on Christmas, adults even going as far as pretending Santa Claus was real for the kids all the time. You weren’t kidding, one time a middle aged patient insisted on not ordering the brace he needed because he knew Santa would bring him one on Christmas. When you told Jenny, the other nurse, to do a psych evaluation, she just shook her head in amusement, thinking you were joking. “Of course Santa is real, Dr. Y/L/N. Here in Elophtron, Santa comes every Christmas with presents!” she had insisted, leaving you baffled. This town was absolutely bonkers, but it was starting to feel like home.

The only thing stopping you from feeling fully content was the fact that your parents were still icing you out and somehow regardless of being only four hours out of sync, Jiho and you had barely communicated this month. You would think you were being ghosted if it weren’t for his sporadic one liners.

You sighed as you looked over the budget for the month, the numbers somehow refusing to add up as you looked at your phone, the Instagram notification lighting it up. You could use a break, so you decide to scroll through your feed, only to stop abruptly at Jiho's new post.

Love my baby so much! Happy four months, beautiful.

It was a cute caption, if it weren't for the fact that you and Jiho had been dating for over four years, your anniversary was in March, and that he was kissing a stunning blond that you didn't recognize in the picture.

You looked at the picture again, closing the app and starting it again, just in case it was a glitch. Nope, apparently, Jiho had broken up with you and forgot to tell you. You could feel the tears pricking your eyes, but they weren't because of sadness. Oh no, you were furious. No wonder that fucker was so excited about your move.

You let out a huge groan, throwing your phone across the room, as you stood up and kicked your desk, tears now freely flowing. You couldn't believe the nerve. You hadn't expected this from him. In fact, much like a loser, you were expecting him to propose at Christmas. You thought back at how he had told you he loved you and called you beautiful, much like he was now professing to that new girl and it made your stomach twist. You wanted to break stuff. No, correction, you wanted to break his face.

You didn't realize you were rage pacing until Seokjin appeared in the doorframe, looking at you with wide eyes.

"Everything okay, Y/N?" he asked, stepping in front of you to stop your pacing. In the past month, Seokjin had gotten surprisingly good at reading your moods. It was like he could see a slight change in your micro-expressions and be able to tell whether you need a coffee, a hug, or a walk. You were truly grateful for him, but at this moment you were afraid you were going to take out your anger on him so you tried to calm down. Stopping your pacing, you plastered a smile on your face.

"Yeah. Everything's fine. Don't worry. Why are you still here?" Seokjin, however, didn't buy your flimsy excuse and pulled you in a hug. You felt yourself instantly calm. It was oddly intimate. He had hugged you before, but never like this. His arms were tight around your frame as your face met his chest, enveloping you in his vanilla scent. Your attraction to Seokjin had faded slowly over time, but right now as he tightened his grip around you in an effort to comfort you, your heart skipped a beat.

With your rage fast diminishing, all you had left was your heartbreak as you slowly started to cry in his chest. He didn't question you. His usually talkative personality, giving way to an understanding silence as he slowly rubbed your back.

When it seemed that you had calmed down, Seokjin pulled away, looking at you with concern. Without asking you for details, he suggested going on a drive. You accepted, knowing that if you just went home all you would do is wallow. You let him drive you to a burger joint, picking up your favorites, before getting back in his truck. The two of you drove for what seemed a long time, the food getting cold as soft pop music played in the background.

He never once pushed you to talk, letting you take in the trees lining the highway, as you watched the snow glittering in the moonlight on the banks. Finally, he stopped the truck, getting out before opening the door for you, taking your hand as you stepped down from the height.

The view blew you away. He had driven you to a field of sorts, getting the back of his truck ready with some blankets. But it wasn't the pine-lined field that took your breath away, it was the sky. Above you the navy hues of the night were alight in colour, pinks and greens blooming like waves in the sea. Stars prickled through occasionally as the weave of colours danced slowly, mesmerizing you. You don't know how long you stared at it in awe, but when you turned around, he was already sitting on the back of the truck, under a blanket, your food being taken out of bags.

He speaks for the first time when you settle next to him.

"You want to talk now?"

"I don't know." You shrug, rattling the ice in your cup as you swirl around your drink.

"It's okay if you don't want to. Just... do you need to go back?" He seemed hesitant, almost disappointed, as he asked. It was endearing how much he cared about the town not being left without a doctor.

"No. Definitely not." You said firmly, staring at the sky, missing the way he smiled at you in relief. The last thing you wanted to do right now was go back to Manhattan so your parents could tell you how you failed and accidentally run into Jiho and his blonde. Hoping to deflect the conversation, you looked at Seokjin, his cheeks puffed as he took a big bite of his burger. "Seokjin, can you tell me something about yourself?"

"What do you want to know?" He says, sipping his drink.

"I don't know. Anything."

"Hmm... well I'm a nurse and I’m the most handsome man in the world." He laughed, clapping his hands slowly as if applauding his own wit. You rolled your eyes, unable to fight the smile that made its way to your lips.

"Oh my god, you dork! Tell me something real. Tell me a secret." You bumped him with your shoulder.

"If I tell you a secret, will you tell me what's wrong?" You hummed, eyes wide in anticipation as you munched on your cold fries. "Well. I secretly kind of hate this small-town life."

His answer shocked you. In the month you’ve known Seokjin, he has been this little town’s biggest fan. With the number of people who greet him, and routinely give him presents, you don’t doubt he could easily be elected mayor. In fact, the chief of police even suggested using him as the town’s mascot, for crying out loud. 

“If you hate it why are you here?”

“Did you know I lived in San Francisco for ten years till last year?” You did not. You couldn’t imagine Seokjin amongst those tech snobs, nor could you imagine him in anything not flannel. “Yeah. I loved it. I worked at this amazing hospital and went out to all these clubs. I was kind of a party animal.” He chuckled, looking at his lap fondly as he picked at the blanket.

“Why come back?”

“Well… my family established this town. We were the first ones here and well I promised my dad when he died that I’d help continue the little traditions in this town.” He shrugged, his mouth a lopsided smile. “Promised him I’d raise my kids here. Family comes before fun.”

“That’s… wow. You must really respect your dad, enough to change your life for him,” you spoke softly, leaning into his lap a little to place your hand over his. “It must have been hard to lose him.”

“It was, but I hope I’m making him proud.” He gave you a genuine smile as he squeezed your hand, before tapping it. “Now enough about my emo self! Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?”

And so you did. You spent probably three hours out in the cold, before calling it a night. You told him about Jiho and how he broke your heart, and he related by telling you about his own ex that had broken their engagement when he suggested the relocation. Spending time with Seokjin was comfortable, it was easy. There was something about him that warms you up, like hot chocolate on a snowy night.

You hadn’t been that vulnerable around anyone in a while. Your life in New York was calculated, you never knew who you could trust, and so you trusted no one. It felt oddly freeing to be able to talk about your heartbreak and insecurities with Seokjin, and after that night under the aurora borealis, you both became closer. Before, you would only see each other at work, but since then you had been hanging out outside of work a lot. Sometimes the two of you would grab dinner at the local diner, or he would pick you up for working, grabbing coffee and flirting with Doris shamelessly for freebies. The more you spent time with Seokjin, the more you realized how different he was from what you had assumed.

When you first got to know Seokjin, you thought he was hardworking and amiable, but now you knew his dorky side. The side that would come up after a glass of wine, when he would start cracking lame dad jokes, clapping his hands, and laughing at himself. The side that got especially shy, ears turning a bright red, every time you complimented him on anything, be it his work ethic, or a nice new shirt he bought. The side that would go on and on about the Mario universe, regaling you with details about why Wario was misunderstood, or why the movie should only be watched when wasted otherwise it was a waste.

To be honest, you never knew there was even a Mario movie, and when you told him such he gasped loudly, grabbing you by your shoulders and excitedly making plans to watch it together. You wouldn't tell anyone but with your newfound friendship with Seokjin, he had also gotten very comfortable touching you. Maybe it was the aftereffect of being so vulnerable around him that one time or the fact that you were trying to get over Jiho, but every time he pulled you into a hug or brushed past you it made your heart skip a beat. You controlled the flush slowly creeping up your neck, as you shrugged his hands off your shoulders and solidified your plans to watch the movie together.

True to his word, Seokjin showed up at your house with a case of beers, a local microbrew full of hops that made your tongue sing. Halfway through the movie, you had no idea what was happening, Mario and Luigi, who had terribly fake accents, by the way, jumping through trying to save the damsel in distress in what looked like an acid trip. The alcohol didn't help as the plot got more convoluted, but that didn't stop Seokjin from excitedly trying to help you decipher it.

You don't know when it happened, but his arm was around you, casually draped where your head met the couch, his fingers lightly caressing your shoulder as he sipped his beer. You took another sip of yours trying to calm yourself. No matter how many times you tried to focus on the colours exploding on the screen, all you could think about was your hammering heart as your skin heated up under his innocent touch. It wasn't when he abruptly pulled his arm away from you that you were broken out of reverie.

"So what did you think?" He asked excitedly, turning on the couch towards you, a leg moving up and under his other. You hadn't even realized the movie ended. Did they save the princess? Or was it their business they were trying to save? What was this movie even about?

"Um... it was something," you commented, hoping that the vague answer would satisfy him, as you chugged the rest of your beer.

"It's cause you're not drunk enough! Y/N! I told you, you had to get wasted to like this movie!" He whined, clumsily opening another bottle and handing it to you. You weren't drunk, he was right. You were on the right side of tipsy, just on the edge of jumping into oblivion. Seokjin on the other hand, seemed much more ahead of you as he struggled with the bottle opener.

Chuckling, you reached out and put your hands over his, helping him uncap his bottle. You didn't notice how close you had gotten until he whispered thanks and his breath ghosted the skin of your nose. Looking up, your breath hitched as you saw the look in his eyes. Usually filled with mirth, it was jarring to see him looking at you with want, his long dark hair falling into his eyes as they traced your features. You saw his eyes linger on your lips and all you could do was blink. You knew you should move away, he was coworker and friend, but you froze, the two of you lost in the silence.

He made the first move, bringing his hand to your face tentatively. You leaned into it, sighing a little, and that's when you felt his lips on yours. Soft, plush lips that you had imagined more than a few times this past month, molded around yours. The kiss was shy, a little soft as his thumb caressed your flushing cheek. Your hands still on top of his on the beer tightened as you deepened the kiss, and he followed, grunting slightly, his hand moving to the back of your head, angling it a little. You mewled when his tongue licked at your lip, granting him access as it roamed your mouth, easily taking charge as your heart exploded within your chest. You hadn't been kissed like this before, the balance of gentle and domineering, making your knees weak. You were glad you were seated because otherwise, you'd be on the floor.

You don't know how long you were kissing, but the spell was broken as his phone rang, making him pull away abruptly, lips swollen and face red. It took everything in you to not go in for seconds as your mouth followed his. He didn't oblige you though, as he pulled away, resting his hand on your waist as he reached for his phone.

"It's my mom. I'm sorry," he apologized with a pout that did not help how you were feeling. Finding it hard to speak, you simply nodded as if in a daze. His wide, grateful smile made you turn to putty as he answered, only to frown. Quickly ending the call, he grabbed your face and kissed you again, hard but quick, taking your breath away.

"I have to go. I'm so sorry." He looked at you, his forehead pressed against yours, as you blinked. Standing up from the couch, you straightened your t-shirt, as you walked him to the door. He stopped in front of it, his arms around your waist as he pulled you into a hug, making you smile. You felt like a teenager who got to kiss their crush, it was bizarre. Pecking your lips a few times, he bid you goodbye, waving as he walked off, leaving his truck in your driveway.

Shutting the door, you giggled giddily, forgetting all about your earlier worries of maintaining a professional decorum, as your fingertips grazed your lips, still feeling the touch of his lips. That night he messaged you just once, and you reread the text over and over as you fell asleep.

Thanks for watching that stupid movie with me tonight. Can't wait to continue where we left off ;)

The next day you were extremely excited to go to work, changing your outfit multiple times before settling on a pretty pastel pink dress and leaving your apartment, noticing the truck was no longer in your driveway. Stopping by to grab a cup of coffee, you greeted Doris.

“Hi Doc! Happy last day to send Santa a letter!” she chirped as he poured your order. You shook your head in amusement. This was by far the weirdest aspect of this town. They were all so obsessed with Christmas, grown adults refusing to talk about how Santa doesn’t exist. It would be endearing, charming in a way if it weren’t for the fact that Bean There was the location where they collected these letters to Santa, and it was full of people scrambling to write. You would think it would be mostly kids, but you could spot Mr. Hernandez, a sixty year old retired lumberjack, scribbling away, as well as Molly, the recent college graduate. It seemed the town had no age limit when it came to believing in Christmas miracles. 

“Doris, I don’t know what’s in the air here, but you guys know Santa isn’t real right?” you whispered, not wanting to incite a full out riot, like you accidentally did when you first moved and made the same comment. Either this town was very much into the spirit of things or you were just too late to catch up to the mass group hysteria everyone seemed to be a part of.

“Y/N! You just have to believe, hon. I’m telling you every year, whatever you write on those letters comes through. I mean you can’t ask Santa for love or anything but anything material comes! Always. How else do you explain that?” You frowned as she pushed your coffee towards you. Sure, you didn’t have a logical explanation for that but that doesn’t mean Santa was real. However, you were in a great mood this morning, looking forward to seeing Seokjin, and so you acquiesced to Doris when she waved a piece of paper, writing the first thing that came to your head which was a snowglobe, since the shelves behind the counter was lined with about a thousand. You could use a cute one to put on your desk, if Santa was in fact real.

When you walked into the hospital, coffee in hand and pep in your step, you looked around for the familiar mop of dark hair, half expecting a ho ho ho, or some cheerful Christmas pun Seokjin usually pulled out in the morning, but you were met with an empty lobby. Even his office was empty. It was odd. He was usually the first one in after you. 

Walking into your office you felt your earlier excitement twist into nerves. What if he regretted last night? What if he thought you were unprofessional? But he had texted you, surely he couldn’t regret it too much, could he? Oh! He was so drunk last night. He probably regrets it and now finds it awkward to be around you. Technically he was your subordinate, so were you now one of those creepy bosses they show on television? Inviting your employees to your house to get them drunk and make them kiss you? This was bad. Your thoughts raced through your mind as you tried to focus on today’s schedule in front of you, before, thankfully, Jenny broke through them.

“Hey Y/N. I’ll be taking over Seokjin’s workload while he’s on vacation. Is there anything in particular you need help with today? Otherwise I’m just gonna follow the notes he left behind.” 

“Vacation?” you stammered, clearing your throat and taking another sip of your drink.

“Yeah. He takes the ten days before Christmas off every year. Something about a family obligation.” She shrugged.

“Oh. He didn’t tell me.” You tried your best to not sound disappointed.

“It’s been on the calendar for years, doc.” Jenny chuckled as she walked out of your office, leaving you confused as you went to check the employee calendar and lo and behold, there it was ‘Kim Seokjin on vacation’, staring at you. You were annoyed. You expected at least some notice. Did he think he could just kiss you and then go off to wherever he was. Fuming, you opened your phone to text him.

So when were you going to tell me you were away for the rest of the month?

You waited a few minutes, staring at the screen, but when the message still showed unread you gave up and did what you do best when people piss you off. You worked. And you continued working for the whole week, till you were fed up with Seokjin. He had seemed so caring and then to ghost you out of nowhere? Sure, you can expect that perhaps his vacation slipped his mind, but did he suddenly lose his fingers? He couldn’t do you the courtesy of sending a text when you had left on what you thought were nothing but good terms? “Continue where we left off”, your ass.

------------

It was two days to Christmas and you were bored. You parents had decided that since you were away, they were going to go on a cruise. Sick of scrolling endlessly through social media, envying your friends, you decided to take a walk to the only place open 24 hours in this town, the diner. It was 2 am and you didn’t think you would see anyone other than Mark, the friendly twenty-year old whose family owned the place.

You were enjoying your plate of fries, and a milkshake when the little bell above the door grabbed your attention off your phone and in walked the last person you expected to see - Kim Seokjin. He was dressed casually as always, his black parka over a white hooded sweater and dark jeans. It didn’t seem like he noticed you, waltzing over to the register to order a coffee as he sat on a stool, waiting for the fresh pot to brew.

Seeing his face, made you stupidly angry. You knew rationally that he didn’t owe you anything, you were just friends. Friends who shared a pretty nice kiss, but you were friends, you had no claim over him, but you still found yourself fuming and getting up from your booth to march over to him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you spoke in a normal volume, but Seokjin jumped high, his eyes widening as he put his hand on his chest, staring at you.

“Y/N! Um… what are you doing here so late?” He asked, his eyes shifting around, looking anywhere but at you.

“That’s all you have to say to me?” You crossed your arms, wanting answers.

“I can explain! I swear it is not what you think!” He jumped up from the stool, arms in front of him as he tried fruitlessly to calm you down.

“What is it, then? Did you lose your phone? Did you lose your head?” You scoffed, fully knowing that your comeback was far from witty, but you could barely think, indignation mapped onto your features.

“It’s not that… it’s just… I don’t know how to tell you. I don’t even know if I can.” He rubbed the back of his head, his ears turning red, as they usually did when he was embarrassed. Seeing his demeanour suddenly made the pieces click in your head. There was only one reason people ghosted each other. It was a rejection. You felt your face heat up at the realization, feeling like you were going to cry. Oh, this was bad. You couldn’t believe you were about to shed tears over a kiss. You needed to get out of here.

“No need. It’s okay. I’m a big girl. I can take a hint.” You said quickly, your voice seemingly calm given the situation as you zipped up your parka and walked out of the diner, ignoring his calls of your name. If he really needed to explain himself, he could have followed you, but you walked the ten minutes to your apartment alone, burying yourself under the covers once inside. You didn’t realize that unwittingly you had been thinking about your future with Seokjin, picturing dates and waking up together when all he had been doing was figuring out a way to gently let you down. You decided to let yourself feel the sting, dampening your pillow cases, finding that somehow this hurt more than what Jiho did. Who knew the kind, wholesome small town boy could hurt you worse than a cold lawyer from New York?

----------

Having no close friends yet in town and not wanting to burden the nice people who invited you to their homes, you decided to pretend that you were going to New York over the holidays. You stocked up on enough groceries to get you through the New Years and decided to hide out in your apartment. You spent your time cleaning your apartment, doing skincare, reading the latest medical journals, and binging the Crown on Netflix. 

On Christmas morning, you decided to treat yourself for brunch, making an obscenely large stack of pancakes, piling it high with fruit and chocolate chips, and drowning it in maple syrup. Foregoing dressing up, you sat on your living room floor in your festive pajamas as you watched the political ongoing of the royal family, and enjoyed your sugar loaded creation. However, before you could truly dig into your pancakes, you were interrupted by a knock on the door.

You didn’t know who would be knocking at your door this early and on Christmas. You weren’t expecting anyone and everyone knew you were supposed to be out of town. Sighing you begrudgingly rise as the tempo of the knocks increased. Huffing you opened the door to be greeted by none other than Kim Seokjin, dressed in the ugliest Christmas sweater you had the misfortune of seeing and jeans, with a campy Santa hat atop his dark hair. The forest green Christmas sweater, adorned with a stuffed Rudolph and what seemed like real mistletoe, also apparently lit up, the twinkling red and green lights on it glowed in the morning sun as little flurries collected in Seokjin’s hair. 

Regardless of the terrible wardrobe choice, you couldn’t deny the sudden pull you felt towards him, your heart skipping a beat at seeing him on your doorstep with a small box wrapped in shiny paper. However, you were nothing if not determined, so you schooled your initial wide eyed expression into a glare as you crossed your arms across your chest and leaned into the door frame.

“What are you doing here?”

“Came to give you your present.” Seokjin smiled as he brought the gift towards you, making you scoff and roll your eyes.

“Seokjin, I don’t want you or your presents.”

“Not gonna lie, that kind of hurts.” He scratches the back of his head nervously, sending his hat askew as he sways a little on his feet, unsure of how to proceed.

“Good,” you say as you move to close the door on his face. Not going to lie, you were pretty proud of your resolve. Before you could fully shut the door, Seokjin put his hand out to stop it, jumping a little when he saw the cold look in your eye. Stepping back sheepishly, he cleared his throat.

“Please Y/N. Just let me explain.”

“Go ahead.” Still holding the door half closed, you stared at him, your resolve melting as he seemingly shivered outside.

“Can I at least come in? It’s kind of cold.” You rolled your eyes again, and acquiesced. Not because you wanted to hear him or be near him, but because he looked kind of pitiful shaking in the cold in a sweater that didn’t seem built for the Alaskan winter. Stepping aside you let him in your hallway, leaning against the wall, your patience at an all time low.  “Okay. So… um… how do I even start this?”

“Seokjin. Just say you don’t like me and go. It’s Christmas. The least you can do is be straightforward.” His stammering was infuriating. It made you want to kick him. However, as the words came out of your mouth, Seokjin looked shocked, his eyebrows disappearing beneath his bangs as his mouth flew open. It was a pretty funny sight, and if you were less angry you would’ve chuckled.

“Why do you think I don’t like you? What?”

“Hmm… Let’s see you got drunk, you kissed me and then you disappeared! Like poof!” You gestured in the air with your hand, trying to make the point more apparent.

“Well that’s what I am trying to explain!” And now he was gesturing, his hand with the box rising in the air.

“Oh my god,” you groaned.

“Just open this. It will help start my explanation.” He took your hand in his and placed the box on top of it. You eyed him suspiciously as you began to unwrap the iridescent paper. Inside the box was a snowglobe, the scene inside showing a field full of flowers with a small truck with two people on the hood. When you shook it, it came alive with glitter and tiny styrofoam flurries. It was very cute and very reminiscent of the night Seokjin and you first became friends. You loved it, but it wouldn’t be you if you weren’t petty enough to hide your true emotions to look at him with disdain.

“A snowglobe? Okay? So?”

“Don’t you wanna know how I knew you wanted this?” He spoke slow, his words and spaced out as he frowned at your scowl.

“I didn’t want this?” You matched his slow pace, enunciating each word as you raised an eyebrow in question. Why did he think you would want a snowglobe of all things? I mean he knew what you really wanted was those cupcakes that Doris only made once a month, you had told him how much you adored them on more than one occasion. If he wanted to be all romantic he could have at least bribed her for some of those!

“But… you asked Santa for it!” he sputtered, jogging your memory to remind you of the throwaway wish you made in the letter to Santa a few days ago.

“So you steal mail now? That’s a federal offence, you know.” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“No! No no no. I don’t steal mail. Unless it’s snail mail because it’s easy to catch.” He laughed at his own joke, but seeing your deadpan expression, he backpedaled, nervously running his hands through his hair again. “No? Okay, bad joke. But I didn’t steal it. You sent it to me! I’m Santa!” He was talking more with his hands than his words, waving them around in the air.

“Your excuse is that you’re Santa? How old do you think I am?” you scoffed, moving to push him out of the door, ignoring how solid his bicep felt under that ugly sweater. How was he not getting electrocuted by those stupid lights?

“No please don’t kick me out! I’m telling the truth!” Seokjin planted his feet in the ground turning around and looking at you with wide eyes, the cinnamon depths softening your anger as you sighed. This was so far fetched, the least you could do was hear him out. If nothing else, this would make a great story to share over drinks sometime.

“You have five minutes. And I’m eating my pancakes while you talk.” You let go of him as you walked into your living room, Seokjin close on your heels. You sat on the floor next to the coffee table and he followed suit, sitting much too close to comfort, his thigh grazing yours as he stared at your pile of sugar.

“Oh. Can I have some?” he asked, clearing his throat at your glare as you aggressively cut into a piece before stuffing your face. The nerve... “Sorry! Okay um… so did you think it was weird that the whole town just happened to believe in Santa?”

“I honestly was going to write a paper on mass hysteria, but yes.” You were much more interested now. You always did find the town's dedication to upholding the sanctity of Santa bizarre.

“Well, that’s because for almost a hundred years, people in this town have been getting what they wanted for Christmas, without fail.”

“Because you’re Santa?” You looked at him, waiting for him to explain only to be met with a soft smile as he nodded. His cheeks puffed up with his little smile and it took all of your willpower not to poke at them. Why did he have to be so cute when you were trying to be mad at him. Also, what grown man insists they're Santa? “So where are your elves? Is Rudolph just hiding in your truck?”

“I’ll have you know I’m an elf-made man!” He joked, his pun making you lose control as you let out a light laugh before remembering you were supposed to be mad and trying to hold a neutral expression. Seokjin, on the other hand, made no such effort, a wide grin adorning his features, making his eyes disappear beneath his squishy cheeks. “Hey got you to laugh! But no. No elves. Just me, well, and my family. It’s the family tradition I was talking about. For generations the Kims have been sending people in this town presents on Christmas in secret.”

“Wait how do you even afford this?” This made no sense. How was he buying these expensive presents, and also Santa was Korean? How did his family even hide this for so long? Why were these town people naive enough to believe this? How did he do deliveries? Did he work with Amazon? You had so many questions!

“Um… I’m kind of rich?” he replied sheepishly.

“Kind of? You give 2,000 presents a year!” Your pancakes were forgotten as you swiveled around to face him, your knees touching his thigh, momentarily distracting him as his eyes dropped to where you touched him, before following suit and facing you. The two of you sat cross-legged across from each other as he started what may have been the most useless and longest rant he embarked on since entering your home, talking animatedly as always.

“Yeah… but that’s not the point! The point is the days leading up to Christmas are really hard and this year I had to figure out how to make the drones work and this kid wanted an exact replica of Han Solo’s gun and those are really hard to find and then Mr. Hernadez decided he wanted a rare Amazonian flower. Like where am I supposed to find a flower in December?! And don’t get me started on Doris she-”

“Seokjin. Relax. So you ghosted me because you’re Santa?” You placed your hands on his knees to get him to calm down as his face seemed so red from his rant you were worried you would have to resuscitate him if he didn't take a breath soon. He calmed down exponentially, taking a deep breath and locking his eyes with yours.

“Yeah, and I couldn’t tell you and if I did tell you, you wouldn’t believe me till today anyway. And just… I’m sorry.” He sighed, placing his hand on top of yours on his knee as he held eye contact, and it seemed like you may forever get lost in his irises. He looked at you with such a sorrowful expression, that you weren't sure if the pout of his lips was exaggerated for effect or if it came naturally to him.

“I don’t know what to say… I kind of have regrets” You bit your lip as you gazed back at him with mischief.

“You do? I… I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about the fact that you might not like me back. Oh. I’m an idiot. Okay. I will see you at work. Happy holidays!” He spoke in flurried words as he tried to stand up before you stopped him mid-rise.

“Seokjin wait! That’s not the regret.” You were quick to stop him as he sank back down, a confused look on his face.

“It’s not?”

“No. I regret only asking Santa for a snowglobe! I should’ve asked for a car!” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh sure! What kind? I can get you a car.” He did not miss a beat before picking up his phone and scrolling through what you could only imagine being his gift list. Wait, were the Kims part of the mafia? You really should ask him where he gets all this money from someday. Nurses get paid pretty terribly, so it's definitely not that.

“Seokjin. I was kidding!”

“Oh. I knew that.” He put his phone down as he looked at you, blinking slowly a few times.

“So you like me.” You ask, leaning in slightly with a smirk.

“Yes.” He answered resoundingly, a determined look on his face as he leaned in as well. The two of you only a hair breadth apart.

“Are you going to kiss me again?” You whisper, not wanting to break the sudden shift in the atmosphere, as you looked at his plush lips, before meeting his gaze.

“Do you want me to kiss you again?” His voice was lower, a little strained as he looked at you, his eyes jumping from each feature before settling on your lips.

“Yes.”

“Then come sit in Santa’s lap.” He leaned back, patting his lap with a smirk, making you blanch as you pull a disgusted face.

“Okay. I changed my mind.” You leaned back, before he came closer, his hands cupping your face.

“No no! Sorry! I just have always wanted to use Santa puns and you’re the only one outside of my family who knows and I don’t kn-” You cut off his rambling with a kiss, a soft, quick one on his lips that made his breath hitch. He recoiled a little in shock, staring at you before pulling your face to his and crashing your lips together.

This kiss was neither soft, nor short, but a flurry of emotions as you both tried to express what you couldn't in words. His lips were firm against yours as his hands moved down your body to pull you closer by the waist. A soft groan left his lips as you parted yours and he wasted no time starting to explore your mouth, his tongue meeting yours. His plush lips moulded against yours and you couldn’t help the moans that fell out of your mouth. You had missed his mouth against yours, the feeling as refreshing as the crisp sun after a blizzard. He tasted like coffee and you sucked at his tongue with fervour, eliciting a shocked moan from him as his hands left your waist to find your ass, gripping it harshly to pull you into his lap. You wasted no time straddling him, as you grind your core against him, making him groan. He bit your bottom lip as he pulled apart to catch his breath. Staring down at your heaving chest, he traced his hands on your hips, before breaking into a smirk. Gone was the rambling man from earlier, his eyes clouded with lust as he took you in. He leaned closer, his lips on your neck as he kissed from your collarbone peaking through your thin pajama top to your ear.

“Now that you’re finally in Santa’s lap, tell him what you want for Christmas.” He whispered, nipping at your earlobe. Wow, he really was not going to let this go. You groaned in annoyance, cupping his face to pull him away from your ear to face you, ignoring the pout on his face.

“For you to shut up.” You kissed him, tilting his head slightly to give you access, before he pulled away, shaking your hands off his face till they rested on his broad shoulders.

“Come on! Let me have this!” He whined, his pout bigger as he looked at you with puppy eyes. You chuckled at his antics, shaking your head as you leaned in for another kiss, missing the taste of his lips already. His hands moved from your hips to the hem of your shirt, slowly moving up under it, tracing over your ribs, just below the swell of your breasts, leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

Moaning gently, but not one to be outdone, you mirrored his movements, moving your hands down his built chest, feeling the soft material, and groaning in annoyance as you reached the stupid stuffed toy stitched to the centre. You reached the bottom of his sweater, but before you reached under it you pulled away, Seokjin chasing your lips.

“Will this dumb sweater shock me if I put my hands under it?” You huffed and played with the hem of his sweater as he smiled goofily, as if realizing he was wearing it for the first time. The goofy smile didn’t last for long as he moved his hands to cup your chest, massaging gently as he leaned in kissing your sternum, visible from the top button that had somehow loosened during your makeout. 

“The only shock you’ll get is how loud you’ll be screaming my name when you cum.” He pulled on your nipples, making you mewl as you involuntarily arched your back, rolling your hips on his. You felt breathless, and you couldn’t believe his stupid wordplay was making you this wet.

“Big talk for someone whining about Christmas puns.” You moaned out as he tugged harder on your nipples in reprimand, his hands pushing against the fabric, as he bit the sensitive skin of your neck. Forgetting your earlier concerns, your hands go under his shirt, feeling his soft skin, the tiny hair on his abs tickling your fingertip, as you push the sweater as high it would go revealing his golden skin.

“Yule be sorry for doubting me.” He finally gives your sore nipples a rest, as his hands move to pull his sweater off, momentarily getting tangled up in, making you chuckle, which he mistakes for praise aimed at his puns, wiggling his eyebrows as he emerges from the monstrosity. If you weren’t so whipped for him, you would have made him leave. You didn’t know if this was a one off, if he really wanted things to progress or he just wanted sex but all thoughts fell out of your head as his lips reattached to your neck, his hands on your hips making you grind against him as the two of you made out like teenagers at prom.

“I will literally murder you if you make another pun.” You moaned out, losing yourself in his touch, his lips leaving behind blooms on your skin. If he kept moving your hips like this you were going to cum. You grabbed on to his hair as you moaned at the sensation your body lit as your clit grazed his length through the layers of clothing. Your legs shook as the feeling in your stomach tightened and Seokjin chuckled against your neck.

“Yeah murder me with that pussy.” You could feel his grin but all your annoyance was forgotten as you felt yourself let go, mewling his name, your orgasm washing over you in waves, your grip on his hair tightening. 

He kissed you as you came down from your high, his erection solid against you as his tongue explored your mouth. When he pulled away he looked almost crazed, the lust in his half lidded gaze mirroring yours as his hands moved to your top, slowly unbuttoning it. “Fuck that was so hot. Let me unwrap you, baby.” 

He wiggled his eyebrows again as he looked at you. How could this man be this sexy and this dorky was beyond you. Wanting to see him writhe over you, you started kissing his neck, moving to his chest, leaning him back as you inched closer to the waistband of his jeans.

“You first!” You exclaimed, wasting no time to unbutton his jeans as he sighed in relief, moving to remove them completely before you reached for his boxers. You were a little taken aback when his cock popped out. It was bigger than you thought, head red as a bead of precum glistened in the late morning sun pouring in from your windows. Your mouth watered at the sight and without thinking you licked up his length, his groans egging you on as you bent over him.

“Shit so perfect! So good to me,” he moaned out as you looked at him. His head lolled back as he leaned against his hands behind him, his wide chest rising heavily due to your ministrations. He let out a loud moan, resembling almost a whine, as you wrapped your mouth around his head, sucking softly. You loved that moan, wanted more of it as you took him deeper, his hand coming to rest on your hair. He panted loudly, his moans filling your room, your mind, as you gazed at him looking at you with awe. “This look soots you.”

He really had to make another dumbass joke, didn’t he? You pulled off his length, sitting back as your hand replaced your mouth, slowly stroking him as you scowled at him. God, you wanted him to beg you so bad.

“That better be suit with a u-i or I swear I’m not gonna let you cum.” You gripped him harder, twisting your wrist as your panties get wetter with power. He mewled a little, twitching in your hand as you grinned. His head lolled to the side and suddenly he looked at you, his eyes sparkling with challenge as your words finally processed in his mind. 

Before you could react, he was on you. One hand gripping your wrist and other behind your head as he leaned you over till your back was on the cold hardwood floor and he hovered over you. He smirked at you before he leaned in to kiss you sloppily, making you lose all senses.

“Aw sweetheart, it’s cute you think you’re in charge.” He cooed, as his forearms trapped your head, his kisses becoming softer, reminiscent of the first time he kissed you a week ago. He took his time, his weight a comforting presence on top of you as you melted into the floor. He looked at you with adoration when you broke apart, his nose touching yours and a soft smile on his face.  

“But seriously, Y/N. I didn’t come here for this. I want this so bad but I want to take you out, I want to hold your hand, drink a milkshake with two straws together. I don’t know! I wanna spoil you!” His voice was low, but his words were fast, like he just couldn’t hold them in any longer. You giggled in disbelief, caressing his back. This man really was going to be the death of you.

“Seokjin you’re naked and you want to hold my hand?” you chuckled as he nodded, his eyes glinting and smiling wide. He reached out to hold your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he leaned in to kiss your cheek sweetly, an oddly saccharine contrast to the way he was devouring you moments ago.

“I mean I also want to rail you hard, but yeah I don’t want it to be just sex.” You felt your heart flutter at his words, your face heating up more than it already was and you leaned up to kiss him.

“Me neither.” Your grip on his hand tightened and his cock twitched against your thigh, bringing your lust back to the forefront of your mind as you kissed him again, much more hungrier this time. “So come on get on with it. Choo choo!”

He leaned away looking at you with wide eyed surprise before breaking into a shit eating grin.

“Was that a rail- fuck! You’re perfect!” He gushed as he kissed his way down your body, unbuttoning your shirt as he went. He lapped at your nipples, hardening them under his tongue as his hand pulled your pajama shorts off, your panties following quickly after. You wanted to throw another quick witted remark at him, but all thoughts disappeared at his sudden enthusiasm as his mouth made its way to your core. He began to kiss down your slit, light feathery kisses that had you desperate for more, mewling as he continued.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long, it’s really taken a mistletoe-ll on me.” He grinned, his breath warm against your folds. Your retort was forgotten when he slid his tongue inside you, flicking against your sensitive walls before he was sucking at your clit. The pleasure was unbearable and you shook under him, thanking yourself for forgoing carpeting the floors. He put his arm over your hips to hold you down as you chanted his name. You were dripping, your heart beating loudly in your chest as he ate you like a man starved, pushing you closer and closer to your high. You walls clenched around his tongue as you moaned louder, your hands in his hair, pulling him closer. 

“I’m so close!” you whined expecting Seokjin to speed up to guide you through your high. He, however, slowed down, the pressure in your belly ebbing slowly away as you whined his name. “Why did you stop?!”

“Tell me my puns are funny.” He looked up at you grinning as you yelped when two fingers entered you. His fingers curled inside you making your back arch as you moaned his name. “Come on admit it, Dr. Y/L/N”

“No… they’re… stupid...” you breathed out as his pace increased and decreased keeping you firmly on the edge, your walls fluttering, your eyes squeezed shut as you refused to beg. He kept up his taunting till you thought you would lose your mind, every nerve in your body on fire as your legs quivered. He was insane! Not being able to take it anymore, you conceded. “Fuck… please! Please Seokjin! Your puns are hilarious. I give! Please…” 

“Good girl. Knew you were on the nice list.” he exclaimed as his mouth latched on to your clit and before you knew it you were screaming, your body shaking as you had one of the most powerful orgasms of your life, your arousal gushing out of you as Seokjin gleefully lapped it up. You felt a buzzing in your ears, your vision spotty as he coaxed you slowly through your high.

Seokjin kissed his way up your trembling body, and slotting his mouth against yours, he caressed your sides as you tried to catch your breath. When you opened your eyes he was smiling at you, lying next to you on the floor.

“Told you not to doubt me, baby,” he said lowly as his nose bumped yours gently.

“No pun this time?”

“I was gonna say mistletoe-ld but I already used that one.” He grinned.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, facepalming. “Why do I still want to fuck you?”

“Because I’m a sex god.” He wiggled his eyebrows. You stood up, a little shakily, at his comment, looking down at his alarmed face before walking away to your bedroom. Before you reached the door, you looked back at him. Seokjin was still in the same position, looking at you dumbfounded, probably wondering what he did wrong. You rolled your eyes at him as you gestured towards your room.

“Come on Santa, don’t you wanna climb up my chimney?” You laughed at the speed he stood up, his hard erection bouncing funnily as he ran towards you with a dopey smile, placing his arms around you in a back hug as you walked into your room.

“Stop being funny or I’ll fall in love with you,” he whined, rutting against you petulantly, making you giggle. You guided him to your bed, making him sit with his back to the headboard as you grabbed a condom from your bedside table, stroking him to gently roll it over his length. His breath hitched as you climbed over him, your knees on the bed next to his thighs. Seemingly unable to wait anymore, he put his arms around your waist, pulling you into a hungry kiss, a flurry of tongue and teeth.

You rise, your hands on his shoulders as you slowly descend on his, his girth a soothing pain as your walls stretch around him. The two of you moan into each other’s mouths as you stare at each other, face red and eyes blown from lust. For the first time, there was silence between the two of you, your staredown intense as you slowly started riding him. It felt delicious and it took all of your strength not to close your eyes in pleasure.

Your pace increased as Seokjin’s hands were placed firmly on your hips, pulling your hips higher so he could thrust into you. You kissed him at that, no longer able to take his intense stare and he groaned, increasing his speed. His cock rammed into you and you saw stars, clinging on his shoulders as waves of pleasure flowed through you. He kisses and bites your neck, his lips leaving blooms of petals in their trail, as his movements become sloppy. 

He leans back a little, grabbing your hand to guide it to your clit, rubbing your fingers on it. The added friction to your bud paired with his wild thrusts has you coming undone in seconds. Your toes curl as his name stretches around your moan and you still in his arms, your vision hazy. He cums shortly after, thrusting in you a few times chanting your name before falling lax against the headboard, pulling you against him.

The two of you sat there for a while, till he softened enough to slip out of you, the feeling sending shudders through the two of you. Placing a hand on your chin, he brought your lips to his, before looking at you with a soft smile, his eyes sparkling.

“So… Merry Christmas?” He shrugged making you giggle, as you rolled off him and sat next to him.

“Who knew I’d be a ho ho ho for Santa?” Seokjin laughed, clapping as he squealed with glee, before calming down enough to put his arms around you, cuddling you close, and grabbing one of your hands in his. He played with your fingers as he smiled.

“I’m sorry I ghosted you. I promise I’ll never do that again.” He kissed your temple, tightening his arms around you.

“It’s okay. You made up for it.”

The two of you spend Christmas morning together. You made more pancakes, dressed in only his horrendous sweater as he belted out Mariah Carey in his underwear. Your heart swelled when he placed gentle kisses on your shoulder as the two of you swayed to the music, barefoot on the kitchen floor. You knew you made the right decision when you moved to Alaska, it just took you this moment to realize how right.

----

I hope you liked this fluffy Christmasy piece, for more fics of mine check out my masterlist

[dadsbongos]

spiriting

Insert Coin - Chapter 2 / Series Masterlist

Waking up to the cursed sound of Monokuma’s voice, (Y/n) let her body remain in the warm confines of her duvet. Her eyes were heavy and burned whether she had them open or not. Turning, she let her back rest against the mattress, endless stare settled on the ceiling.

Every time she went to close her eyes, Byakuya’s bloody corpse was staring her in the face. His voice festered between her ears as it called her name. Quite possibly the last thing he’d said to anybody was him calling her name for help.

Stabbed over ten times between his abdomen and throat.

It must’ve been excruciating. To be working to bring everyone together only to be brutally murdered in your endeavors.

She can only hope death was quick to lay its merciful hands upon Byakuya’s soul.

And to be boiled alive, even.

A hand came up and over her heart, scrunching up the fabric of her sleepshirt, a new wave of misery banging at her brain as she thought of Teruteru. The Ultimate Cook. No, their Ultimate Chef. The least she could do was honor his wishes in her mind.

To be slathered in slimy batter and caked with breading was a mere inconvenience in comparison to being boiled - being cooked. The heat. The bubbling and popping of your skin as you quickly simmer.

It made her queasy just to think about.

All that pain, all that suffering - brought about by the hands of Nagito Komaeda. The sweet-faced, gentle-smiled boy of luck. The same boy she was planning on meeting in the dining hall.

Sighing through her nose, (Y/n) slowly rose from her bed before swinging her legs over the edge of her bed frame and pushing up to a complete stand. Her body felt like gelatin, mind in a foggy haze as she moved towards her closet, pulling off her makeshift pajamas and trading them in for cleaner versions of the clothes she already had on.

Exiting her cottage, (Y/n) was sure to lock her door before stowing the key away and heading towards the dining hall before anybody sent out a search party for her. The sand crunched under her shoes as she made her way to the dining hall, hopefully, the others had somehow forgotten about the entire night prior. If she could be the only one with the horrid memory of their friends’ deaths, she’d be happy.

Ultimate Peacekeeper and yet she couldn’t even keep two people alive.

Clenching her teeth, (Y/n) shook her head - if she thought like that then she’d be too busy throwing herself a pity party to focus on any of her peers. She reached out to open the dining hall door and stepped inside, and for a split second, her heart picked up at the thought of finding another body.

A corpse laid across the floor and Monokuma’s wretched voice bringing about another body discovery announcement.

Once again, she forcefully shook off her thoughts and pushed forward. Everyone was there. No, two people were missing.

Fuyuhiko, which was no surprise, seemed an avid supporter of being the “lone wolf” of their group. Nagito, on the other hand, was almost never by himself - despite his previous exclamations of being unworthy of a friend, he surely liked the company of the people on the island.

(Y/n) sidled herself up beside Hajime, giving the boy’s side profile a gentle, unnoticed smile - he looked exhausted, “How’re you feeling?”

“Hm,” Hajime flinched at the sudden noise, turning to lock eyes with the mediator, “I feel…” he looked down at his plate sadly, “fine.”

“Alright,” she pat his back, “if you need anything, I’m always available. It’s what I’m here for, Hajime.”

“Right,” the brunette nodded, he let his shoulders droop, defenses falling ever so slightly, “thanks, (Y/n).”

“Of course,” she nodded, looking around the dining hall once again and quirking a brow, “is it just me or… are there people missing?”

Before Hajime could answer her question, Monokuma appeared suddenly inside the cafeteria - frightening a few of the students. Hajime’s brows furrowed, “You can't just pop up out of nowhere like that!"

"Puhuhuhu, but I can!" what a high-pitched drawl, (Y/n) suddenly thought - she’d always been taught that villains have sickeningly deep voices and here Monokuma was, proving her entire life wrong, "I'm here to deliver the next motive!"

"A motive?" Hajime tilted his head in the midst of his confusion.

"It's not that I don't think you all love participating in my super fun killing game or anything..." Monokuma fidgeted, faking a new shy persona, "But, of course, I thought it would be even more fun to give you guys a motive!"

"Well, we've taken care of everything,” Kazuichi immediately rebuffed, “No one is going to kill anymore, no matter what your motive is!"

(Y/n) swung her head to look at the Ultimate Mechanic, “‘Taken care of’, what are you talking about?”

"Whatever you say!" the black-and-white bear waved off, clearly in disbelief of the boy’s words anyway, "If you're interested, there's an arcade machine in Jabberwock Park with a game on it that might have some cool info for you! And that’s as much as you’re getting from me, bye for now!"

"Ooh, fun!" Ibuki blurted out as Monokuma disappeared.

"Fun?” Hajime shook his head, irritation clear on his face, “No! Guys, we absolutely cannot play that game. This is Monokuma's attempt to trap us. Who knows? The game could be filled with lies to get us to kill each other!"

“Hajime’s right,” (Y/n) nodded, “If anyone plays that game, a murder is likely. I know it’ll be hard but we have to do our best to keep alive.”

Hajime could be a good leader. Strong, independent, commanding - a good man. He could be great. Then again, so was Byakuya.

Mahiru looked around and asked the question (Y/n) had before Monokuma arrived, "Wait, where's Nagito?"

Hiyoko giggled, covering her mouth with her hands as she did so, "He's probably too ashamed to show his ugly face around here.”

"No," (Y/n) interrupted, “I don’t think he’d be so self-conscious.”

"Don't worry about it,” Kazuichi waved off, locking his hands behind his head, “He isn't going to bother us anymore."

"What did you do?" (Y/n) pushed herself away from Hajime and toward the mechanic.

"Kazuichi, you probably shouldn't say stuff like that..." Nekomaru’s voice was strange - hasty, as if he was trying to hide something.

"Nekomaru, Kazuichi," (Y/n)’s brows furrowed as she looked between the boys, “Tell me, right now, what did you two do?”

"Well, we..." Kazuichi glanced at Nekomaru, "Took care of him this morning."

"You guys killed someone?" Mahiru exclaimed, face running pale.

"No! What the hell? Of course, not, we didn't do that!" Nekomaru shook his head as if he couldn’t fathom how his suspicious behavior could lead to that conclusion, "We found him on the way here and... tied him up. So he couldn't do anything drastic again! He's on the floor of the room we had the party in, he's- he'll be fine."

"So you guys - without telling anyone - kidnapped Nagito this morning and just left him tied up?" Hajime turned his head between the two, obviously done with the idiots, "Do you understand why that possibly wasn't the most fantastic idea?"

"What were we supposed to do, just let him run around acting like that?" Kazuichi asked, exasperated, "It's fine! He'll live, we just have to bring him food or something once in a while..."

"Now that we're in this mess, it will be difficult to pull us out," (Y/n) crossed her arms, thinking over the situation, “I’ll keep watch over him. I was going to do so anyway, but two people,” she glared directly at the boys of the hour, “decided to act without consulting the group,” as Mahiru prepared a plate, (Y/n) continued, “Just leave Nagito to me, I’ll be a babysitter for him - if anybody has an issue with him, please don’t act on your own until necessary. It could do more harm than good.”

Handing over the plate, Mahiru gave the peacekeeper a nervous smile, "Be careful, okay? Just run outta there if anything weird happens."

“Right,” (Y/n) nodded, taking the plate, “Kazuichi, Nekomaru,” the two hesitantly looked over to her - it felt horribly similar to facing a disappointed parent - she pursed her lips before giving a sympathetic grin, “I get where you two were coming from and I appreciate it, but don’t do something like this again. It’s dangerous.”

The two murmured out their agreements as (Y/n) left.

Crossing from the dining hall to the old building, (Y/n) flexed her fingers as she walked, gut knotting up inside her. Byakuya died there. Her friend, and to some extent, a role model. All because of the man she was going to be spending the rest of their stay at Jabberwock with. She had to. She needed to keep tabs over him if they wanted to avoid something like the party again.

Her hand stopped at the door handle, fingers resting against the cool metal.

She could just let him starve, it’s not like anybody would care. Nobody would check the old building anyway.

Shaking her head, (Y/n) pushed the door open - she’s supposed to be the Ultimate Peacekeeper and she was already dropping the ball with two deaths and a kidnapping. Letting Nagito starve was just a cruel and unusual punishment. An impulsive thought she'd never act on.

And so, putting one foot in front of the other, she continued down the hall Teruteru did. To find Nagito.