#to think how simple my set nicknaming system used to be

[gobs-o-dice]

Dice Set #9: Multicoloured

[hatredmadeofgold]

So, Raiden has DID, right. This is a fact.

What do you think about his system? I know you write fanfic about him, do you think there are any other elaborated parts other than Raiden and The Ripper? (I'm not a fan of "evil murder alter," but I feel like naming would be pretty ambiguous. :)

Hey anon, I am sorry in advance but this answer is 2263 words long lmao Go sit back with a beverage of your choice (I recommend water) and enjoy the ride.

[Not sure if you’ve read my little attempt at an essay from July 2022 about him having DID (it’s here), but I do consider it outdated now and would love to update it (same as the one on him having ASPD) at some point when I got the energy for that.]

This is a fact made me laugh a bit, ngl.

I am not a fan of the “evil murderer alter” thing either (I watched Split once and while I give my kudos to the actor’s portrayal of various alters, the story itself sucks ass and I also found it boring as hell to be honest) — if anything, Raiden’s entire system consists of “evil murderer alters”, or none of such at all. We’re speaking about a character who admits to enjoying murder, and that wasn’t The Ripper speaking back then in MGS2 either — Raiden isn’t left in the dark of his violent nature, but he’s left in the dark about the details.

I don’t want to give too many spoilers for my fanfiction series @mgsr-sing-to-me away, since the story goes in-depth about my concept of his DID system, how it was created and what each alter roughly represents, but I’ll try to give you a quick rundown:

Something I think most MGS fans can all agree on is that Raiden in all three games in which he appears feels somewhat different, to the point of ‘inconsistency’ even, and this has created my interpretation and headcanon for him to have DID in the first place, and Raiden having suffered from amnesia is a well-known canon fact.

To me, however, it’s not MGR Raiden who feels strongly different in terms of personality — it’s MGS4 Raiden who feels like an inconsistency.

I consider the Raiden we see in MGS4 actually a different alter being in control of the body than the one who is in control during MGS2. During MGR, it feels like a mix of both of those alters but let me get to that later.

‘Jack the Ripper’ is an obvious alter, not an ‘alter ego’, and when I played MGR in Japanese, the cutscene after the Monsoon boss battle in which Raiden touches the wound on his abdomen made me realise — hold on, he suffered amnesia right there.

Something that I strongly dislike about the English Dub of MGR is that Quinton Flynn isn’t really good at the portrayal of Jack. Throughout the Japanese dub, however, Ken’yuu Horiuchi uses his voice to show the literal switching between at least three alters present in Raiden throughout the game. Unfortunately, this isn’t evident in the English dub much at all, aside from the Jack the Ripper Awakens cutscene.

For easier understanding’s sake, I will give those alters some nicknames (also to prevent spoilers for my fanfiction):

The Raiden of Denial, as we see him both in the first half of MGR and MGS2

The Raiden of Dissociality, as we see in the later half of MGR and on and off during MGS2 (especially during {optional} Codecs with Rose)

Jack the Ripper

The Raiden of Sorrow, as we see him during MGS4

I took these 4 observed alters from the canon as my pillars to roughly create my concept for his DID system, which boils down to an approximate number of 16 or more alters in total.

I say ’16 or more’ because Raiden has never received adequate therapy for his mental health issues during canon, and it’s hard to determine an exact number of alters in general due to the covert nature of the disorder.

I decided to keep the exact number ambiguous but clear and simple enough to not get overwhelmed because technically someone with such severe trauma as his could result in poly-fragmented DID (aka 100 or more alters), but that’s not even set in stone.

Let me get into the specifics a bit.

—

Raiden of Denial alters are parts of him that are, what the (flawed) model of structural dissociation would probably call “apparently normal parts” (short: ANP). I take this model with a grain of salt because DID isn’t as neatly structured as this model suggests (in my experience), but to keep it simple, these alters are less aware of the full extent of their traumas and are therefore ‘functional’ in everyday life as well as interpersonal relationships, however, they feel less ‘fleshed out’ or ‘mask-like’ in his case sometimes.

All Raiden of Denial alters tend to run away from their past, hence I label them with the word “denial”. All of these alters are adults, and the apparent Host alter {at the time}, present in the first half of MGS2 until the nanomachines suppressing a part of his memory (aka suppressing the majority of the system) are deactivated by Solidus Snake, is one of such.

—

Throughout MGR, we can see two alters intruding on each other’s consciousness with thoughts, feelings and memories. One of them is like the one we see in MGS2 and the prologue of MGR, one in denial. Then there’s one we see sometimes in MGS2 and more and more prominently during MGR, a dissocial one.

We see an indirect switch right at the beginning of Chapter 1, where a dissocial type takes over. This shift is also picked up by Kevin, mentioning Raiden’s callousness that Raiden does not respond to.

These two alters are in so much conflict with each other throughout the game that Jack the Ripper decides that he’s had enough of that shit from the other two because neither of them is capable of handling being consistently confronted with triggers and reminders of “who they all really are on the inside”, and shoves them both out of the frame and takes on full control.

This comes with strong amnesia about what happens during his takeover. It’s not total blackout amnesia, but rather that it feels like watching himself act in the third person perspective, and the memory feels like Raiden is watching a YouTube video on a bad internet connection in 360p resolution.

—

Now Jack the Ripper is a persecutor-type of alter — an alter that has a protective role for the system, however, a persecutor’s methods are causing harm to the system overall.

I don’t want to give too much away from my fic as I said, but I’ll give you the hint that Jack the Ripper that we see during MGR is both an adult and a child at the same time.

A child who is trying to protect himself by lashing out at everyone and everything around him. It is obvious given the context of what we are told from the games that Jack the Ripper was born from the horrible things he was forced to witness and forced to do himself when he was a child soldier in Liberia, hence his age-ambiguity. And even The Ripper is split into several variants, making The Ripper his own category of alters.

The variants of The Ripper handle various parts of the horrible things that he had to endure as a child soldier, and they vary in ‘age’ and what triggers them out but they all behave roughly the same.

Despite being different alters of the same category, unlike the other alters within the same category, Ripper variants all consider themselves to be one and the same, perhaps unable to understand the barriers between them as well as gaps in memory.

Also one part of these alters is a child alter who has none of these violent and hostile traits at all, but is still a part of this category. This alter is protected by the rest of The Ripper, and contains all of these emotions that he was not allowed to openly show to guarantee his survival back in Liberia, like fear, sorrow, and pain but also empathy.

There are multiple of these child alters in the system, but they are hard to distinguish without giving them names, some have memories of their trauma, and some are completely oblivious.

—

The Sorrow type of alters are what we exclusively see in MGS4 and are what I associate with self-hatred, recklessness, suicidal ideation (internal homicide), self-harm and substance abuse.  

Sorrow types are either adults or teenagers. They exclusively have a detailed awareness of Raiden’s addiction issues, which is another headcanon I have and is also listed in the content warnings for Sing to Me (ARC 2: Parasite Eve will handle this topic the most; and it may or may not be rather graphic, it depends on what I decide in the end what I will decide to publish).

—

Now I have listed 4 types of alters but I did not say anywhere that each category of them equates a set amount of alters to get to the number of 16 known alters in the system.

Because there’s another category to throw into the mix: Introjects.

So far, I have 4 introjects in mind that are part of Raiden’s system, but due to Sing to Me spoilers I cannot share them all.

Introjects are alters based on another person, be that a person in the system’s life, a celebrity they look up to, or even a fictional character. They exist in all DID systems in real life (and some sources confirm fiction-based introjects aka fictives since the 1980s) and their existence has a link to the psychology of child development.

One introject Raiden possesses is based on Solidus Snake/George Sears. Said alter is also a persecutor type and could be overlapping somewhat with the Ripper category, but is not a direct part of them. This persecutor introject of Solidus causes the entire system a major hit to their self-esteem, as he enacts the very same punishment onto the system, as the real Solidus Snake did on Raiden when he was a child soldier under his control, and also sabotages a lot of Raiden’s relationships by ‘protecting’ him from perceived threats that he sees in others.

—

Another I have in mind is perhaps based on Solid Snake/David and could have formed way before they’ve actually met. This makes sense because Raiden had gone through 2 years of VR training for the Big Shell mission, which put him into Snake’s role when he was on a solo infiltration mission on Shadow Moses Island in Alaska. This David introject is very loosely based on the actual person and is more of a fragment of what Raiden had been made to believe during those times. After their meeting, this introject might take the role of a ‘caretaker’ type of protector. Caretaker in this context must not be understood as to be something like a mother or father figure! However, this alter is counteracting the Solidus introject as well as the Ripper variants, by trying to get himself back on track.

—

Then there’s a fictive I feel like I can share about, and it’s the only female alter in the system: Ripley. And with that one I mean the actual Ellen Ripley from the first 4 movies of the Alien franchise.

Given that MGS2 mentions Raiden and Rose having met over arguing over King Kong, I came to think of what other types of fiction Raiden would enjoy and wrote myself a (still unfinished) list of movies and books.

The Alien franchise started in 1979 with the first movie, so it even matches timeline-wise that Raiden possibly saw those movies in his late teens, perhaps on TV or borrowed them from a local video rental store. Kaijū movies seem to be his thing, and although the Alien franchise is not considered one, it does overlap in some aspects of the genre.

Ripley as an alter might have formed when Raiden was moved into a foster family’s home, and to cope with his terrible nightmares that felt far too real, his psyche latched onto the fictional character to dissociate himself further from his past.

What I imagine is that he saw his nightmares, the flashbacks, and what he went through as something as undefeatable and unkillable as the xenomorph as described in the first movie, “the perfect survivor, without a conscience, guilt or remorse, nor moral code”.

Now Ripley was able to survive the xenomorph, and also kill it — by shooting it into space. Something that Raiden always wished to do with his past, just to erase it, as we learn in MGS2. At the time this alter takes its shape, he was maybe 15 or 16 years old. Ripley is also a protector, to protect the child in him additionally from pain. This alter then also takes a motherly role for the system inside Raiden’s Inner World, something that cannot be seen by an outsider.

—

The last introject I cannot say anything about it, since that one would give a too-harsh spoiler for my story plans with Sing to Me. I’d LOVE to talk about this alter and the absolute mindfuck he will create once he surfaces and interacts with other characters in the story, but my hands are tied. It sadly takes me so much time to work on the story due to the lack of energy I have overall, but it’s on my mind every single day. Even writing this answer took me two nights T_T

And considering that I’ve written over 2200 words to answer this ask already, I will make a cut here. Because honestly, I could write an entire book about Raiden (and Sam).

Which… I am actually doing, sort of, with my fic, due to its sheer estimated length of around 100 chapters for just the main story.

[serenitywinter-twe-if]

Demo | Report something | Ko-Fi | Video trailer

[Demo last major update: 28/06/23 |Case 01, Part 01]

[Stonefrey Moodboard]

Solutions : see below.

As a private detective, you were hired for a "simple" missing person's case. 

You were supposed to investigate, find out and be done with it. 

All was fine until, on a sleepless and cliché full-moon night, you stumbled upon a creature you've never expected to find. A monster worth anyone's worst nightmare. A monster holding the key to unravel the case you're investigating.

Your life has taken an unexpected turn after this discovery, how will you manage to face the reality that the supernatural exist after that ? And what will you do when it's revealed that the case is more complex than what you first thought ?

You can choose as you play :

Gender (male, female and non-binary option)(trans-friendly option available) ; 

Pronounces (he, she, they, or  you can personalize  your pronouns);

Name, including aliases and nicknames ;

Background ; 

Appearances (including complexion, hair, eye colour, height,...);

Reactions ;

Fears ;

Timed choices. You can toggle on a setting to allow you to see the timed choices ahead if you need more time to read. Toggling this on will allow you extended time.

Font appearance : the text is available in both : sans-serif fonts (by default), serif, and Open Dyslexic.  

Font size : 80%, 100%, 130% and 150%, to make your reading experience as comfortable as can be.

You can toggle to read with the metric system (default) or use the imperial measurement system (feet). 

Contains sound effect & background music (you can enable and disable the sound from the Settings, by gliding it all the way to the left).

There is a dark mode (by default), a sepia mode and a light mode available ;

Content for mature audiences can be toggled on and off as well. That will not remove the horror features though. 

Trigger warnings are available at each chapter's screen. Or directly via the "Content Warning" link, from the menu; 

Some Romantic Options are gender-selectable, as you play ;

You can choose to romance, date, only be involved physically or not at all with the RO. There are seven way you can interact with the RO : friendly, enemy, neutral, shy love, true love, enemy to lover, or simply lover/physical. 

Poly route available between Yu and Mbaya.  Officially unlockable past case 03. Don't panick before that. 

Locked romance route—or no romance route—would be able to be selected past case 03.  To give you the chance to meet all RO.

Extra story build in game, available past Case 03 here as well.

There are achievements.

To say Elias is a gruff person is to say the least. But you know he has some good will in him behind the non-bothered no nonsense act. He did act to save you, without asking anything in exchange. Though, if you would describe him, you would say he is more like a sulking teddy bear. Yeah, you should probably not say that to him. Elias is probably the only one you're quite certain— not certain, certain, but quite certain — is a human. You have your doubt for the rest of the team. 

"If you think a day can't go shittier than it already is, be my guest."

Appearance : Human, or you can say super-human. 1.97m/6'46. Deep blue sea/cobalt blue eyes. Long white wavy hair (past shoulders). Tanned and weathered  ivory skin. Athletic build with broad shoulders.  3 o clock shadows. 

Has a 4 years old daughter.

[Moodboard]

How could you describe Anya ? Like the mist ? Always shrouded in mystery ? This is her. She is the incarnation of mystery.  She told you she was 31 years old, but you don't really believe the woman. You think she can bewitch the whole city with her smirk, if it's not already the case. But that smirk she puts on her face makes you not trust her that much. Unless it's a question of life and death. Then, probably, you'll consider her help.

"Why work hard when you can work smart ?"

Appearance : A witch, most assuredly. 1.63m/5'34. Hazel eyes. Sultry black hair,  mid-back length. Golden skin. Lithe built.  

[Moodboard]

Miloslav [M] / Mishka [F] / Marcy [NB]

Sheppard seems to be directly in competition with Elias for the title of "Grumpy human of the year".  Though, where Elias appears mostly unbothered in and for all, Sheppard just seems really on edge about everything.  And tense. But you guess it's because of their taxing and demanding work. Or maybe they were just born edgy. It's almost as if their hackles were constantly raised.  But they can be sweet. Somehow.

"Some people are looking for the meaning of life. I'm just looking for what "vacation" means and where I can find it."

Appearance : Not human... 1.78m/5'83. Forest green eyes. Curly auburn hair, cut short. Pale skin with freckles. Athletic build. 

[Moodboard]

Have you already seen in the eyes of someone some age old lost wisdom ? Flowing like crystal clear water from a time where you weren't even born. Something worth admiring. This is what you can see in their eyes.  Despite being a giant, they are a tranquil, very tranquil person. Now that you think about it, you've never seen them eat. Nor drink. This is suspicious. 

"If someone points you the moon, don't stare at the finger."

Appearance : Surely not human. 2.06m/6'76. Sky blue eyes. Long coiled hair, dyed sandy blond (braided with gold thread). Chocolate brown skin. Lithe build. Nose septum piercing. 

[Moodboard]

Yu is, like, the opposite of Mbaya, whilst being almost similar. In front of you stand something from a past long gone. But, instead of tranquility, Yu is a bubbly person. Almost too bubbly.  And you're almost sure that they own at least half the club and bar of  Stonefrey. If not more. Something about the way they move, silently, and almost feline-like, makes you doubt they are human. 

"I'm not saying I don't care. I'm just saying that, if the whole city was about to burn down, I'll still take the time to appreciate my glass of whiskey."

Appearance : Definitely not human. 1.65m/5'61. Black eyes. Dark brown hair (Yi-seo: Shoulder length hair/Yunsu : Ivy league crew cut). Olive skin. Muscular build. 

[Moodboard]

Well. If you could say a word about Owl, you would say that they are dramatic. And fanciful. And they have a flourish for snarking remarks, and seem to have an ego as big as their wardrobe probably is. But what you would say the most is that they are wearing their name well. Owl, for their knowledge. That you could use. If they were on your side, that is, and totally not a wild card. 

"Everyone is such a bore in this city. Well, so long as you owe me — I mean, pay me. And entertain me. Surely this can work, Love."

Appearance : You're not sure. 1.79m/5'9. Verdigris-colored eyes. Wavy platinium blond hair (F. : Chin-length plunging square cut/M. : Styled curtain hairstyle). Fair and flawless skin. 

[Moodboard]

You have met a nightmarish creature, will probably meet vampire, and werewolves — oh, you've met a witch as well. So now, here they are, an elf. Yes, an Elf. Like in Lord of the Things. In the city. With sunglasses. And their impassible way. Iolrath, child of Rivaran and Iltheruyn, they told you, as they were looking around at "mortals and their ways". Nice.

"Why must I say something ? Isn't silence acceptable in a discussion ?"

Appearance : It's very obviously an elf. 1.82m/6'0. Violet eyes. Long silver hair (reach mid-tight ). Shimmery skin. Elvish build of fairness.  Obvious pointed ears. 

[Moodboard]

What is most important is your mental health. This story can deal with heavy themes, and the list will be updated along with the content. If you feel unwell, I'll advise you to stop reading and take a rest. Taking care of you comes first. Reach out to professional if need be.

 You can find the content warning  here and the side bar, directly in game.  

This story currently contains :

Blood

Body horror 

Cannibalism (mention only)

Death and depiction of death (yours as well as others)

Drowning

Gore

Gun and use of gun

Recreational drug and/or alcohol use 

Partial nudity and/or nudity

Psychological horror and disturbing content (including mental illness)

Strong/vulgar Language

Violence and graphic depiction of violence

The story, all names, characters, locations and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Only the first part of Case 01 (chapter 1) is available. There will be at least 8 cases, with no definite length. 

Demo | Report Something | Ko-Fi | Video trailer

[Stonefrey moodboard]

[Demo last major up-date : 28/06/23 |Case01, Part 01]

Case 01 |Part 01 : [1st Keywords] [2nd Keywords]

[teamnovaore]

Big From season 3 spoilers if you have no idea what one of the big conflicts is:

I wrote a fucking essay on The from Reddit about how Fromville citizens can survive hunger:

I think my prepper ex (who I went and saw The Martian with) rubbed off on me more than I want to admit lol. My family has a hobby farm, and while we don't slaughter (all pets) I know a lot of farm stuff.

Cheese, milk, butter, and eggs are more important than meat. Cows, Goats, and sheep can survive on long grass, shrubs, and fallen leaves. Cows are also super important as if the soil is poison, cow poop composts back to fresh new soil. Sheep, goat, and chicken poop can be used in the process but cows give A LOT more.

My family is Russian, so do what my ancestors did and plant potatoes. They are to be planted in the cold so the cold temperatures won't fuck it up. Potatoes are starchy and have some protein. You can survive a while on it.

Chickens are Omnivores who will eat plants, bugs, and some starch. But! They do stop laying eggs in the winter if you do not set up a light system for them.

I keep yelling at the TV for the town to collect leaves and grass, make flour from it, and make super simple bread. Like your nickname is Mr Fish & LOAVES, get that bread. Try FISHING too.

Ration certain food out farther by making some of it as broth with some simple plant bread. Even use the plant flour to make noodles.

ETA: Potatoes really are the wonder food. They help prevent scurvy too which was the last thing I was wondering about

[baronetcoins]

I feel like I win when I lose—Director's Commentary

In what is rapidly becoming a tradition of mine, I went on a research Bender for my Yuletide fic and there are so many details I want to point out and discuss—so I will. This year I wrote I feel like I win when I lose for @avengingmariner and I did loose my mind over it, but in a fun way. Join me in my descent into madness below the cut.

My brief was "you must put my man laurence in A Situation" and I somehow landed on the core nugget of "Napoleon finds Laurence in his darkest hour, instead of Tharkay"—mostly because NGL I haven't read further in this series than Victory of Eagles. I'm working on it, just not there yet.

From that point I just sort of... started writing and felt out where the story wanted to go, and then I kept falling into research holes. Here are some of the fun pieces of information I learned in rough order of where they popped up in the fic.

There was chicken set aside from the dinner he was supposed to have had hours ago, before an urgent missive had pulled him away—a simple roast bird, born out from what local provisions had been found

The WEEK I was working on this, Max Miller of Tasting History put out a video on Napoleon. I wasn't able to work in a lot of detail about the food here just because I couldn't make it flow into what I was writing, but there's so much I wish I could have talked about. The weird thing with chicken! Apocryphal stories about how dishes got their names! His drinking habits! The inherent whatever of breaking bread with somebody who's supposed to be your enemy! Now that I'm writing this paragraph I feel like I need to write another fic about food.

And then I Made chicken marengo the week after because I was curious. It was fine?

le mistral noir

Now this bit owes its thanks to Kangoo, my resident French correspondent. I was talking to him about what could be a nickname the French soldiers used for Temeraire, and he suggested "le mistral" which he described as "(very cold and often violent wind that blows into france from great britain, known for cleaning the sky of clouds and also wrecking your shit) (also the name of a fighter plane)" and I went "oh, that's Perfect". And I wanted to be able to explain that reference. Because it's So Good.

He blinked around at the courtyard of brick building before being hurried just as swiftly into a fine bedchamber where he was given a cold supper and the opportunity to wash himself. With little else to do, he fell into another restless sleep.

This was a fun bit of gamesmanship to think out—where would Napoleon want to set the treaty signing in order to send a message? And in order to think about that, I had to learn more about how the government of Britain worked in this timeframe (polisci major hat incoming).

In the US, authority to make treaties is vested in the executive branch, but the legislative branch has to ratify them. I did not know how that worked for the British, because their system mystefies me to this day. Luckily, I found this paper which explains how it worked in 1938, and there isn't much reason to expect it to have changed in that period, so the answer is "at least in theory, the authority rests with the Crown".

Based on that, I figured he'd want to make a point by holding it in a royal building as opposed to Westminster, so I went with St. James' palace which has been used for state stuff forever. Unfortunately, the details for the interior of St. James' are scarce. I was looking at 1860s watercolors to try and squint out a layout.

It was a dress uniform of aviator green, with gold braid and buttons as well as twin epaulettes. He dropped it as if it were a hot coal.

This was perhaps my longest diversion. I'm not intimately familiar with the internal culture of the military <understatement, but I knew having Laurence be present in any form would be read as a huge statement. So what kind of statement would you want to make? Ultimately I went with "the biggest 'fuck you' possible", so Laurence in a British aviator's uniform.

Then there was the question of fringe or no fringe. Which didn't even make it into the fic, but was an interesting diversion. You see, "captain" is a term that connotes a different level of authority in the Army vs the Navy. NATO has a standard rank scale I was able to squint at here, as it tries to standardize across branches and countries. Captain in the British Army is an OF-2 rank, but Captain in the British Navy is an OF-5 rank. What does it represent in those terms in the Arial Corps? I have no idea! This impacts nothing here other than if one or both epaulettes would have fringe on them.

He wandered the hallways, passing French soldiers who saluted him and English dignitaries who ignored him or glared at him in turn. In desperation he returned to seek refuge in the room he’d been left last.

The medal Laurence gets is that of the Légion d'honneur, and nominally military personnel in uniform are supposed to salute other uniformed personnel wearing it, regardless of ranks involved. That was too good of a detail not to gesture at.

The Wikipedia article

I picked Jacques-Louis David entirely because he's my favorite artist of this time period and location, though the fact he did official work for Napoleon was a bonus. I'm very interested in the uses of these really formalized displays of image-crafting as used for propaganda, and also it's just fun to think about. Spent ages looking at Wikipedia too to get the formatting and the style of writing right, which I think I did.

The Title

Really, it just made me laugh, so it had to stay. I mean the song is also fitting and I think it's the sentiment I wanted to gesture at emotionally, but it is also funny,

[the-ventriloquizt]

Chainsaw Vigilante Circus of the Mighty Entries

This is just so I have it somewhere online, and I don't know really anywhere 'official' to put information like this.

( Circus of the Mighty 1 )

THE CHAINSAW VIGILANTE

Name: Unknown

Secret Identity: Yes

Clever Nicknames: That Bitter Guy With The Chainsaw; The Bad Elvis.

Marital Status: Single

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 180 lbs.

Hair: Flame red; fine.

Arch-Enemy: The Tick (The Tick doesn't know yet, but he'll be thrilled when he finds out.)

Catch Phrase: "Hey, You Bunnies!"

Super-Hero-Ness: Little is known about the enigmatic man who calls himself the Chainsaw Vigilante, except that he has taken a solemn oath to rid the world of super-heroes, and that he uses a chainsaw to accomplish this goal.

The Chainsaw Vigilante is extremely agile and possesses highly refined gymnastics skills. He has developed a very effective "martial art" centered around the use of a chainsaw in battle. He is so skilled that he has never actually killed anyone; just given them nasty rashes, annoying tears in their super-hero costumes (very expensive) and the occasional laceration which may require minor surgery.

Chainsaw Vigilante believes that the chainsaw is the weapon with the most impact - the one with the best chance to snap would-be super-heroes out of their "delusions of public service." His costume is very simple, consisting of a leather motorcycle suit, a cardboard mask, and a smiley-face button turned upside-down (the international symbol for extreme displeasure). He approaches his "victims" with a short interview - a survey designed to establish how deeply entrenched in their "delusions" the subjects are. Here is an excerpt from one such interview, recorded by the minor hero, Memowrecks:

Chainsaw (CV): "How often do you think of wearing tights?" Memowrecks (M): "Sometimes… at work I do." CV: "Do you want to save the world?" M: "I think so. Yes. Don't you?" CV: "Unrealistic goal. Do you subscribe to any so-called super-hero magazines? Men In Spandex Monthly, or Fighting in Lycra, or Wrestle! Wrestle! Wrestle! ?" M: "Uh… Men In Spandex… but it's-it's for my nephew… I-" CV: "LISTEN FOR THE TRUMPETS OF DOOM REPEAT OFFENDER!!!"

At this point we hear the ignition of a chainsaw and Memowrecks; recording is cut short. He is what the Chainsaw Vigilante would call "rehabilitated." The man who was Memowrecks now works at a florist shop in Vermont and is living in a condominium with two cats, his "Precious Moments" figurine collection and a lot of big soft sweaters.

The Chainsaw Vigilante seems sincerely to believe that super-heroes and their methods present a real danger to America and to the world at large. He feels that unrealistic ideals combined with incomprehensible power is bound to lead to trouble. He is criminally over-zealous in the pursuit of what is, ultimately and ironically, an idealist goal in itself: the end of super-heroism. However, it is possible that he means well.

The Chainsaw Vigilante has a long record of conflict with super-heroes; he has only once been defeated. Here is a partial list of his adversaries to date:

Mr. Flavorific

Abilities: Can make any taste appear on the palate of his target. Current Status: Converted; owns a small, very successful restaurant.

The Eagle Scout

Abilities: Can tie a variety of knots and set anything on fire with two sticks. Current Status: Converted.

Memowrecks

Abilities: Had a high-tech sound system built into his uniform. Current Status: Converted.

Radio King, Feral Boy, Mr. Envelope, Oddman & Fernslinger

Abilities: See Civic-Minded Five. Current Status: Recuperating; still active.

Plush Prowler, the Man of Shag

Abilities: Big. Strong. Tacky. No real intellect, just empathetic senses. Current Status: Still active; haunts Persian rug showrooms and factory carpet outlets looking for peace of mind.

The Tick

Abilities: See The Tick. Current Status: Still active. Doesn't really remember his run-in with CV, after all it was several days ago and The Tick is no rocket scientist.

( Circus of the Mighty 1993 Update )

CHAINSAW VIGILANTE

Name: Henry (last name unavailable)

Secret Identity: Yes

Clever Nicknames: Poulan Punisher; The Spandex Wake-Up Call.

Marital Status: Single

Known Relatives: None

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 180 lbs.

Hair: Fine and red.

Arch-Enemy: The Tick; Any super-hero with the nerve to go out on the street.

Catch-Phrase: "Time to prune some capes!"

Super-Hero-Ness: Chainsaw Vigilante is an enigmatic and contradictory fellow. He fervently believes to be serving society when he goes out in search of super-heroes to attack. Anybody in a tight costume is fair game; heroes, villains, cyclists. Chainsaw Vigilante is not interested in killing any super-heroes (well, he may be "interested" in it, but he doesn't do it). He would rather confront them and, by deftly thrashing them with his eclectic chainsaw fighting style, show them the fragility of their world-view. After a battle with him, he expects any hero to go back to their apartment, flop on the sofa, and have a good cry. The next day, coping with the overwhelming sense of despair borne of their defeat the night before, they'll give their costume to the Salvation Army. Then they'll have a second cup of instant coffee and go get a real job.

It isn't that Chainsaw Vigilante likes criminals, he doesn't. He just thinks there are way too many super-heroes in this world. For instance, in the Deertown-Hobleville Bi-Cities area where he resides, there are at least 27 super-heroes for every 1000 residents. (And that includes the county super-hero-resident ratio. If you're just looking at the city, the numbers are much higher.) This is an unnecessary situation. Most of the people who spend their time fighting crime could be leading more productive lives and helping America compete in the new world economy. Chainsaw Vigilante just wants to assist this process, to move more people out of the super-economy and into the private sector.

Chainsaw Vigilante has recently defeated most of the super-heroes in the Deertown-Hobleville area. After that debacle, the majority of them decided to throw in the towel and give it up. They all walked; Frogwoman, Hunman, Bunnyman, Busman and Busboy, Heavy Metal Rocker, Trauma Girl, Elf, most of the Civic Minded Five, and even Athena the non-empowered enabler. After that night, Chainsaw Vigilante had a wonderful, warm, fuzzy feeling of accomplishment that blended well with the intoxicating, wafting aroma of two-stroke motor oil.

Still, one failure continues to nag Chainsaw Vigilante, aside from the odd catty comment about his costume, and that is his defeat at the hands of The Tick. The Mighty Azure Avenger was the single hero who not only was not altered morally by his encounter with Chainsaw Vigilante, he barely remembers it. The Tick has a very selective memory and the fight with Chainsaw Vigilante was displaced by the time he stopped at Stuckey's and bought enough pecan logs to build a replica of Fort Apache. One day, Chainsaw Vigilante must face this great void in his being and confront The Tick again. It's well known that The Tick enjoys a little canasta now and then. This might be a good way for Chainsaw Vigilante to get near him.

[whileiamdying]

Holy Spider: why this Iranian neo-noir is attracting so much controversy

FILM & TV FEATURE

Director Ali Abbasi talks about his new film, Holy Spider – an evocative exploration of misogyny in Iran, which follows the real-life story of early 00s serial killer Saeed Hanaei.

20 January 2023 Text: Nick Chen

Holy Spider seems to have captured a moment. The Persian-language serial-killer thriller, written and directed by Ali Abbasi, is an evocative exploration of misogyny in Iran, and its theatrical release has run in parallel with the country’s protests for women’s rights. However, on a Zoom call from LA in mid-January, the 42-year-old genre-hopper suggests it’s not that simple. “I don’t feel like my movie is a topical movie,” says Abbasi. “It’s not about the plight of Iranian women. It’s not about how bad the government is. It’s a cinematic experience I’m proud of, that I finetuned for many years, and is about something more universal that sometimes gets drowned in the political conversation.

“But I’m happy that every time my movie gets mentioned, the uprising in Iran comes up. It’s such a huge moment. If I can get people’s attention to it, that’s great.”

Though Holy Spider, which was shot in Jordan, resembles an Iran-set Se7en, its lurid, movie-ready plot draws from the real-life case of Saeed Hanaei, a war veteran who murdered 16 women in 2000 and 2001, landing himself the nickname of the “Spider Killer”. As documented by Abbasi’s script, Hanaei’s choice of victim – he sought out sex workers – meant that Mashad’s conservatives considered him to be a local hero.

The support for Hanaei (played with a chilling amiability by Mehdi Bajestani) is particularly sinister as the film’s first half depicts several of the killings from his POV, as well as the façade of a friendly father he presented on the side. So much so, at Cannes, a Guardian critic tweeted, “I hate that I was made to watch this hateful, reprehensible, atrocious motion picture…  I am confident (hopeful?) it will never see the light of day in American theatres.” In actuality, the film was picked up by Neon in the US and MUBI in the UK; it’s also shortlisted as Denmark’s entry for Best International Feature at the Oscars.

Chuckling when I reference the tweet, Abbasi posits that film critics tend to underestimate general audiences, and that they themselves can be narrow-minded. “These people expect something from an Iranian movie,” the director says. “It’s the Nespresso principle. When you go to a festival, you have the cool movie from the US, the edgy movie from Korea, and then the movie about misery told in a metaphorical way that’s heavily censored from Iran. When my movie doesn’t behave like an Iranian movie, they think it’s flawed.”

He continues, “I’ve seen reactions change from Cannes, some from the people who felt the movie was getting pleasure out of women being tortured in close-ups. A few months later, they understood there was a context for it when the uprising in Iran started. Nowadays, I get requests from feminist magazines, and it’s seen as a feminist film.”

After all, the real protagonist of Holy Spider is Arezoo Rahimi, a journalist who tracks down the Spider Killer, even disguising herself as a sex worker to attract his attention. The role is played by Zar Amir Ebrahimi, a casting director for the film who ended up playing the lead when the original actor dropped out at the last moment. While Ebrahimi has prior screen experience – she was a former TV star in Iran who fled the country following the leak of a sex tape – there’s still noticeable grit to a performance that won her the Best Actress prize at Cannes.

‘There’s the DNA of the Islamic Republic in this. The suppression of women and sexuality isn’t a fluke; it’s very much part of the system, and what keeps them going. I think that’s the main reason they’re so angry with us. They look at our movie and see themselves in the mirror. And they don’t like it’

Abbasi himself has a history of bizarre, unconventional films that are oddly watchable despite how their premises read on paper. While Abbasi lived in Iran during the years Holy Spider took place, he went to film school in Denmark, which was where he shot the 2016 slow-burn horror Shelley. However, his breakthrough was 2018’s Border, a Swedish, transgressive, gender-bending romance that toys with prosthetics, trauma, and the endless possibilities of the human body.

Tellingly, Holy Spider thanks two genre titans, Bong Joon-ho and David Lynch, in its end credits. The former, a friend of Abbasi’s, offered feedback on drafts and early cuts; the latter, more of an acquaintance, is a lifelong inspiration. I ask Abbasi to what extent he wanted Holy Spider to be as entertaining as, say, Parasite, when it’s also dealing with real tragedies.

“I don’t do a product,” says Abbasi. “When you do a studio movie, it’s like ice cream. An idea goes through a process of development. Prototypes are tested and tweaked. But my way of working is more intuitive. Do I want it to be entertaining? Yes and no. Because the subject matter is so heavy, it’s important there’s a force against its inertia. I want to give people motivation to wait for the next minute. Some people will find the decisions tasteless, and others vice-versa. It’s something I’m really aware of.”

The Lynch influence is more apparent in the neo-noir lighting of Mashad’s night-time sequences, including a blowjob scene that required a producer to smuggle a prosthetic penis into Jordan. Shortly after the Cannes premiere, Iran’s culture minister Mohammad-Mehdi Esmaeili warned, “If persons from inside Iran are involved with the film Holy Spider, they will surely receive punishment from the Cinema Organisation of Iran.”

“Iran has always been seen as a conservative country,” says Abbasi. “But it’s a country where everything is almost hypersexualised. You’re acutely aware – at least in the heterosexual context – that when you go on a bus, you go to the men’s part or women’s part. You shouldn’t touch women in this way or that way. I worked with women for years without shaking their hand.

“But what makes it very charged is that there’s a whole system that wants to intrude on people’s lives. They want to literally control how and who and where you fuck. At the same time, there are a lot of contradictions. Sex outside of marriage is banned and frowned upon, as is prostitution. On the other hand, you have temporary marriage, which is basically state prostitution that happens in religious offices.”

He continues, “There’s the DNA of the Islamic Republic in this. The suppression of women and sexuality isn’t a fluke; it’s very much part of the system, and what keeps them going. I think that’s the main reason they’re so angry with us. They look at our movie, specifically Saeed’s character, and see themselves in the mirror. And they don’t like it.”

Also during the pandemic, Abbasi was a director on HBO’s adaptation of the videogame The Last of Us. Kantemir Balagov, the intended helmer of the pilot, left due to creative differences, and Abbasi commented to IndieWire in May 2022 that “the Hollywood system is a little bit like working in Iran for me. I can’t do it.”

When asked about those remarks now, Abbasi says, “I just saw the first episode, and I think it’s turned out great. I’m happy and proud of working on it. It’s not like I’m negative about it. Coming from Europe, [Hollywood] has strange rules and regulations, and that’s not a secret. There’s a lack of transparency, and everyone’s afraid of tackling controversial subjects. Those things remind me of Iran, absolutely.

“But Iranian cinema is a propaganda machine for a criminal, ruthless, brutal regime. I don’t think that’s where Hollywood is, really.”

Holy Spider is out in UK cinemas on January 20

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[questcult]

BEHOLD MY MOST RECENT FUN WORLD!

I'm thinking of calling it Light-Signal.

It's a retro futuristic world where the starting premise is that Radium girls got FAR more media attention for their suffering. Which creates widespread fear and panic about radiation.

Then a small amount of radium tainted copper is accidentally used in some power lines, while people are already fearful about how dangerous they are, and then the news that power lines are found to emit (harmless levels of) background radiation, wires get crossed (heh) and the idea that power lines emit DANGEROUS radiation goes viral and powerlines CEASE TO EXIST (radio tech also stagnates), but people still want modern comforts.

This leads to explosive growth in battery and capacitor technology, & after a few years batteries the size of an envelope can now power a house for a week, Mail-order power becomes all the rage with millions using catalogs to set up their weekly power delivery.

Phone and telegraph lines cease to exist as well leading to near omnipresent use of carrier pigeons.

Moonlight towers become or remain the main source of night time light in most cities as replacing the batteries for dozens of street lights is slow and efficient.

Eventually Laser technology becomes Cheaply and easily usable due to incredibly efficient batteries, which leads to lasers almost entirely replacing standard guns.

Franz Ferdinand is killed with a laser pistol.

WW1

Huge fuckin' Laser Artillery is invented.

A project to create artificial diamonds is hyper accelerated by the realities of laser warfare. Diamonds are created on an industrial scale and used to plate things to add laser resistance.

Eventually leading to the creation of prism vests the laser equivalent to kevlar vests.

Zeppelin's called storm engines with technology that creates clouds and fog banks to reduce laser range are rolled out in mass.

A grenade like miniaturized form of the fog bank technology is developed, they are called Storm spikes.

Tasers become regularly embedded in weaponry like bayonets due to ease of power storage.

The prevalence of clean cuts from laser wounds leads to Artificial limbs becoming incredibly common, paving the way for massive advances in robotics and the creation of Androids later.

WW2

Tunnel based warfare becames even more advanced and common because of the range of laser artillery, and the creation of auger tanks with dimond-plated drills.

Explosive hammers are developed to help dig trenches by loosening compacted soil with directed explosive force, the units who use these are primarily African American and referred to as John Henry Units.

Storm engines are used to disperse toxic gasses in several engagements causing them to now be referred to as dread engines.

The first Android soldier is fielded by the Allies to moderate success, but the "tin soldiers" can only follow simple scripts at this point.

NUKES fail to come into being, the paranoia about radiation though unfounded has caused too many scientists to object to creating a radioactive bomb. Plus with the advances in laser technology, Missile defense systems are too advanced for bombing runs to be fully practical.

Near the end of the War the first fully self aware and intelligent android is created by accident while scientists are attempting to create a novel data storage method for Tin soldiers.

Nicknamed "The Difference Engine" he becomes a vital part of the war effort and a symbol to his fellow soldiers until he is nearly Destroyed by explosives on D-Day.

The U.S. Military planned to scrap him but his fellow soldiers demanded they be repaired on threat of violence. He is repaired to keep morale up but is retired from active service.

Around this time he gives himself the civilian name Stan (based on the latin base word for tin) and he begins to advocate for himself to be granted citizenship.

Thousands of soldiers back Stan and he become the world's first living machine and is granted full rights by Supreme Court Decision.

Nazi Germany and Italy are defeated by military force, Imperial Japan however persists, and reinstates a form of Sakoku.

Anime and Godzilla are never created.

THE COLD WAR BEGINS

Laser defense systems effectively remove most nuclear threat causing a much deeper and more involved spy craft based war.

More advanced Androids are fielded as human seeming spy families, with hundreds of potential scripts and preset responses.

Very Stepford Wives vibe from them.

They feel too perfect.

Also some birds droids are also placed as spy drones.

DAILY LIFE

Jumps in laser quality due to the war cause Moontowers to be redesigned, taking on a secondary role as hubs for newly created light-telegrams, delivered by firing rapidly alternating laser signals to a Central receiving tower in most cities, filling the sky with permanent lines of light.

Teenage gangs in souped up mopeds or muscle cars are a MENACE

They use overcharged ELECTRICALLY POWERED MUSCLE CARS WITH ARCS COMING FROM THEIR ENGINES to terrorize any community they can.

Also a splinter faction of Nasa has formed a commune of militant Eco-terrorist hippies, called the Heebie-Jeebies on a newly established moon colony, more about them later tho.

[myfeeds]

Unlocking the power of molecular crystals: A possible solution to nuclear waste

Now, a team of University of Houston researchers has come up with an innovative solution for nuclear waste management: molecular crystals based on cyclotetrabenzil hydrazones. These crystals, which are based on a groundbreaking discovery made by the team in 2015, are capable of capturing iodine — one of the most common radioactive fission products — in aqueous and organic solutions, and on the interface between the two. “This last point is particularly salient because iodine capture on interfaces could prevent the iodine from reaching and damaging the specialized paint coatings used in nuclear reactors and waste containment vessels,” said Ognjen Miljanic, professor of chemistry and corresponding author of the paper detailing the breakthrough in Cell Reports Physical Science. These crystals exhibit an astonishing iodine uptake capacity, rivaling that of porous metal-organic frameworks (MOFs) and covalent organic frameworks (COFs), which were previously deemed the pinnacle of iodine capture materials. Alexandra Robles, the first author of the study and a former doctoral student who based her dissertation on this research, was working with the crystals in Miljanic’s lab when she made the discovery. Her interest in finding a solution for nuclear waste led Robles to investigate using crystals to capture iodine. “She ended up capturing iodine on the interface between the organic and water layers, which is an understudied phenomenon,” said Miljanic, who added that this exceptional feature provides a crucial advantage. “When the material is deposited between the organic and aqueous layer, it essentially stops the transfer of iodine from one layer to another.” Not only does this process preserve integrity of reactor coatings and enhance containment, but the captured iodine could also then be moved from one area to another. “The idea here is that you capture it at a place where it’s difficult to manage, and then you release it at a place where it’s easy to manage,” Miljanic said. advertisement The other benefit of this catch-and-release technology is that the crystals can be reused. “If the pollutant just sticks to the regent, the whole thing has to be thrown away,” he said. “And that increases waste and economic loss.” Of course, all of these great potentials still need to be tested in practical applications, which has Miljanic thinking of the next steps. Molecules, Crystals and Octopuses, Oh My! Miljanic’s team creates these tiny organic molecules containing only carbon, hydrogen and oxygen atoms using commercially available chemicals. Each crystal is a ring-shaped structure with eight linear piece emanating from it, which has led the research team to nickname it “The Octopus.” “They are quite easy to make and can be produced at a large scale from relatively inexpensive materials without any special protective atmosphere,” said Miljanic. advertisement He estimated that he can currently produce these crystals at the cost of about $1 per gram in an academic lab. In an industrial setting, Miljanic believes the cost would drop significantly. These hungry little crystals are very versatile and can capture more than iodine. Miljanic and his team have used some of them to capture carbon dioxide, which would be another great step toward a cleaner, more sustainable world. In addition, “The Octopus” molecules are closely related to those found in materials used to make lithium-ion batteries, which opens the door to other energy opportunities. “This is a type of simple molecule that can do all sorts of different things depending on how we integrate it with the rest of any given system,” Miljanic said. “So, we’re pursuing all those applications as well.” He is excited by the multitude of potential offered by the crystals and looking forward to exploring practical applications. His next goal is to find a partner who will help the scientists explore different commercial aspects. Until then, the researchers are planning to further explore the kinetics and behaviors of the crystal structures to make them even better.

[yuk-tepat]

'Easy' Conlanging

Sometimes I get asked for feedback about languages, or get asked to for commissions, but I also get questions of the sort “What is the easiest way for a non-language-geek to create a language that’s just “good enough”?” for background purposes in some fictional setting. So I thought I’d post my thoughts on this.

First, a caveat - as you are probably aware - realism and depth are proportional to the time put into the language. They are also a spectrum, so “how much” is enough can be hard to answer. Additionally, if you succeed and make it interesting enough, fans will want to poke around and find out how it works. Then they will realize whether there’s more to the language or not. (And possibly make their own version of it.) You’re better off creating more depth and detail than you need, because trying to flesh out something AFTER the fact is much more difficult. You will end up with inconsistencies and explaining them away will eventually take more work than creating a detailed grammar in the first place. From my experience working on languages with people who had already named characters before trying to make the language, making a language invariably ends up forcing name changes.

(1800-word wall of text to follow)

Your best bet is over-creating, or getting someone else to do, but I understand this isn’t possible for everyone. Maybe you don’t have time to learn & do it all yourself, or money to pay someone. May you live in an Amazon warehouse.

That said, if you know what you want and make some basic design choices ahead of time, you can simplify the process. So I’ll tell you what I think is the quickest way to make a reasonable-looking language.

STEP ONE: GOALS

What do you want? The important questions are probably:

HOW much realism and depth do you need? Does the language have a long history, does it have a wide range (possible dialectal differences), are there levels of speech and a literary tradition? Yes to any of these = more work.

Do you only need one language?

If you have more than one language ARE THEY RELATED?

Does it need a writing system, or is writing it in Roman letters fine? Writing system = a lot more work.

Are you going to use it ONLY for names, or might you want to translate phrases? Even simple sentences will require grammar that you can ignore in names.

Is there any real-life language you want it to sound like? If there is, you might get away with copying the phonology.

STEP TWO: PHONOLOGY

The phonology / spelling is the most obvious part to audiences so you should do the most work here. Start by organizing the sounds you want in it in a table. You can copy an IPA chart somewhere & start adding or removing sounds you like to it.

Most languages do not have random groups of sounds. Their sounds line up sort of neatly in the chart. Most rows AND columns should have several sounds. Beware if your chart looks too gappy. Some languages (Classical Arabic) may have lots of gaps but don’t do this as a general rule.

Many creators have real world languages that they like (“I want something that sounds kind of Germanic”). In that case, you can go to the Wikipedia article & copy the sound chart, possibly adding / subtracting 1-2 sounds.

Besides the sounds, you should think about how they combine (phonotactics). Does your language have simple or complex syllables? Can 2 (or more vowels occur in a row? How many consonants can occur in a row? Can syllables begin with vowels or end with consonants? Along with this, please decide which syllable in your words receives stress, or whether stress is fixed at all. As far as the “feeling” of the language goes, this is just as important as which sounds you choose.

Keep in mind, the fewer sounds there are, and the simpler the syllables, the more syllables words will need in order to avoid having lots of homophones.

TIP: Try to keep your names under four syllables, unless you plan to create nicknames for them. Nobody likes or will even remember a 20-letter personal name, unless its length is part of the joke.

Now take it to a word generator like the Zompist WordGen (https://www.zompist.com/gen.html) and plug in all the phonemes and follow the instructions for making rules & it will spit out a giant list of possible words in your language. Don’t just use them all, at least glance at each word & select it, because no matter how you engineer it some of the words will be fugly.

If you only need names, make up mostly noun, adjective, and verb meanings. If you need sentences, you may need prepositions, conjunctions, etc., depending on how inflectional you are (step 5).

*TIP: If you want added depth, create an EARLIER version of your language, and then run sound changes on it with the SCA (https://www.zompist.com/sca2.html) to create the target language.

(*OTHER NOTE: You will absolutely need to create a parent language, no buts, if you want to create another language that’s related, and if you try to get around it, the result will look fake and lame.)

STEP THREE. DECIDE THE ORTHOGRAPHY

…or at least the Romanization. If you need a unique writing system, you won’t have an easy time so I assume you don’t. That would require another post. Right now you might have IPA words but you probably don’t want to write your world’s names in IPA. Most of the audience won’t know how to read them. Assuming your audience is English-speaking, try to decide the nearest approximation of the pronunciation using the 26 letters of the alphabet with kind of English-ish spelling conventions. I.e., you should probably spell /ʃ/ as SH instead of CH like French or X like Portuguese.

*NOTE: Will you use any diacritics (accent marks)? Some people like ‘em, some people hate ‘em. Even if you love them, try not to use more than two kinds in your language. And make sure the accent actually means something, don’t just throw random ones in. The same point applies to apostrophes: please don’t just throw them in there.

STEP FOUR: WORD ORDER

Figure out the order of elements. Pick one of these two:

“VO” MENU - “OV” MENU

noun before adjective - adjective before noun possession before possessor - possessor before possession verb before object - object before verb preposition before noun - noun before POSTposition noun before relative clause - relative clause before noun. name before surname - surname before name title before name - name before title some prefixes - mostly suffixes

Languages tend towards one of these types. Very few are perfectly consistent (English isn’t), and some languages are widely off-type, but MOST languages are MOSTLY in one of these camps. And you should probably not mess with them too much if your plan is not to be really involved in the grammar.

Some of these are most important for forming sentences. If you’re just making names, at least decide the first three orders. But by choosing one of those basic types ahead of time, you can expand the grammar by adding the rules that tend to go with the type.

If you’re making sentences too - congratulations! You got a bonus choice!

From the VO menu, choose…

SVO (subject - verb - object)

VSO (verb - subject - object)

VOS (verb - object - subject)

From the OV menu, choose…

SOV (subject - object - verb)

OSV (object - subject - verb)

OVS (object - verb - subject)

*NOTE: the last two are really, really rare, but an easy way to make your language seem weird.

STEP FIVE: ANALYTIC OR SYNTHETIC?

What this means is, does the language have lots of inflections or not? Are its words fairly simple or complex? If it is analytic, it will have few or no inflections. Most of the relationship between words will be fixed by word order, which will be inflexible. Most of your names will be compound words. The parts of the compound may be more or less abstract, but will exist and have meanings as independent words.

If your language is synthetic, you will have inflections. Most words will consist of a root with prefixes or suffixes added to it. So make some prefixes or suffixes, according to your type.

For a naming language, I would advise at least suffixes to:

make an adjective from a noun

make a noun from an adjective

make a noun from a verb

make a diminutive or nickname-former

“son of” or equivalent

“place of” blah de blah

For making sentences, add:

suffix to turn nouns into verbs

suffix to turn adjective into verbs

a couple of suffixes to make different verb tenses or moods

(optional) person suffixes on verbs

(optional) case suffixes on nouns

Oh, I almost forgot, make some plurals.

I advise you to make your inflectional language agglutinative, with easily distinguishable suffixes that tack onto each other in a neat order. I don’t advise a fusional language (where suffixes combine more than one grammatical category). If this is your first time for goodness sake don’t make a Semitic triliteral root language.

OPTIONAL:

If you need sentences, you have additional choices:

Do nouns have case suffixes?

Do verbs have person suffixes?

If the answer is NO to both, then your word order is probably very rigid. If the answer is YES to either, then also decide:

Is your language nominative-accusative or ergative-absolutive?

Look them up. You could also have split-ergative, or something exotic like direct-inverse, but you're best off making it consistently nominative-accusative or ergative-absolutive.

STEP SIX:

Create cool culturally appropriate expressions from your words. If you’re not a grammar nerd this will probably be the most fun part. General rule: More is less - it’s best to express as many concepts as you can by combining the elements you’ve already made, than making up a new word for each new concept.

Hope you have fun making your language.

I invite other conlangers to chime in with their advice.

[tteokdoroki]

dick destroyer december | i. midoriya

♡ pairing: izuku midoriya x fem!reader.

♡ word count: 6.2K

♡ rating: mature, 18+, mdni.

♡ genre: college!au, fluff + smut.

♡ summary: with no nut november over,  finals complete and christmas right around the corner, your number one boy returns to you with only one thing on his mind.

♡ warning(s): please read ! heavy smut, pwp ( characters aged up to twenties ), drinking, mentions of alcohol, mentions of poly!kiribaku, unprotected sex ( wrap it before you tap it y’all ) wall sex, fingering ( female recieving ), light!pet play, spitting, cum play, mentions of sex toys, exhibitionism, oral sex ( male + female recieving ),  light!praise, heavy!breeding kink.

♡ author’s note(s):  merry christmas everyone! i hope despite the circumstances that you’re all able to enjoy the holidays and are staying safe, if you’re not celebrating i wish you a wonderful day as well!! anyways here’s a little festive fic to satisfy you guys and tysm for 2K+ followers <33 find the corresponding kiribaku fic here!

♡ masterlist | requests

ever since you’d started college, your roomate, katsuki had always said that november was his favourite month of the year; it took you a while to figure out why.

having known the blonde since you were a child, you were aware that he despised the cold weather that nipped at his nose and made his quirk slow down. he hated wearing extra sweaters and begrudgingly asking your mother to make him some hot chocolate whenever he came over to play; in fact he hated asking you for it now as adults in your early twenties but as his good college roommate from freshmen year, you made sure he always had a mug waiting. nonetheless,  katsuki’s sudden love for the winter months  and festive weeks following honestly confused you to your wits end— especially with the impending doom of finals sneaking up on you.

however, you quickly found out the reason behind your best friend’s change in attitude towards the month of november, six months into your freshman year relationship with  izuku midoriya.

“no nut november,” katsuki had purred into the neck of his beer bottle, rolling the cool glass against his bottom lip as he laughed at you from across the room. you had recalled the conversation to have occurred exactly half way through october, before the aforementioned month, you and your roommate had decided to host a small gathering with your classmates— purely fulled by thirty boxes of pepperoni pizza and beer, only two of the boxes had been vegetarian for your friends mina ashido and denki kaminari ( he was challenged by mina to go green for an entire month. “that’s why i love this month s’fuckin’ much.” 

bakugou ended his sentence with a swig of his beer, setting the now empty bottle onto the coffee table that had been a house warming gift from his own mom. the sound causes todoroki and sero to jump from their place playing cards against humanity with your girl friend momo on the floor, and kirishima ( bakugou’s crush at the time, who’s drunk and passed out in the blonde’s lap ) to flinch awake. katuski pets his red hair once, making kirishima blink up at him affectionally.

your boyfriend, izuku, fidgets under the intimating stare of your roomie and you can tell he’s fighting the blush that spreads rapidly across his freckled cheeks.  “n-no nut november?” your baby squeaks out, large palm settling on your lower waist as you shuffle to get comfortable in his lap. it’s clear he hasn’t taken part before, so you know exactly what your best friend is doing. trying to tease him in front of all your friends and pull him into something that you’re going to hate. nonetheless, deku downs the rest of his own alcoholic drink as bakugou prepares a response— the rest of your friendship group now pulled into the conversation.

“katsuki bakugou, don’t be mean.” you scold with a bite into your grease laced pizza and offer up the rest to izuku, who politely passes. you pout.

“‘m not, just sayin’— that damn month will be the only time of the year that i don’t get to hear you and the goddamn nerd fuckin’ like rabbits all the time.”

this time, its you who fights an embarrassed look on your face while your green haired lover simply swipes todoroki’s shot from the coffee table and swallows it all at once. the dual haired boy only groans before rising to get another from the kitchen and the rest of your friends hide their giggles in their own drinks, cards and half eaten pizza slices. “you…you can hear us?”  you squeal incredulously, causing your friends to snort out loud again. izuku still says nothing.

“baby, we damn near almost see you whenever we drop by!” kirishima mumbles with sleep curling in his tone, he stretches like a cat on bakugou’s lap and grins at you— sharpened teeth dazzling under the LED lights in your living room. they flicker to a deep green, but you barely notice it.

abandoning your pizza as a whole, you huff and push up the sleeves of izuku’s hoodie that you wear— just about ready to pummel your best friend into the ground for having people over while you…ahem…get some, but shoto returns from the kitchen quicker than you anticipate and cuts right through the chatter with ease, giving you little time to feel flustered by the sudden turn in conversation. “you guys are more sexually active than my parents and they had four kids, messed up with raising us from touya, though,” he says in his iconic monotonous voice, causing you to splutter and katsuki to kick his feet out in victory. “seriously, i doubt midoriya would be able to beat any of us at this no nut  november thing ‘cause of it.”

this time, deku ( as so affectionally nicknamed by your childhood best friend ), pouts, his frustrated voice bleeding into the conversation. “c’mon, don’t you have a little faith in me, shoto?”

“no.” is todoroki’s simple answer. you flinch, did you guys really have sex that often? to the point where no one believed your boyfriend could go a month without getting his dick wet?

“i second that,” kaminari pipes in, picking a mushroom off of his pizza and leaning over to plop it into sero’s mouth.

“third it!” the latter adds.

your roomie takes that and runs with it. “he wouldn’t last a day even if he tried.”

“leave it alone, katsuki.” you find the courage to defend yourself through your flustered state without realising the buzz of beer and vodka shooting through zuku’s veins.

it takes quite a bit to get your boyfriend drunk, he was a big boy after all and played for your college football team but once the drink was through his system he often broke out of his shy demeanour and into one of confidence and challenging your beloved best friend. izuku’s grip on your waist tightens as he leans forward to point accusingly at the blonde before speaking. “wanna fucking bet on it, kacchan?” he says with sparkling emerald eyes and a honeyed voice that makes you twitch in place in his lap. of course you would get horny right in the middle of your two best boys having a drunk argument.

“what’chu say nerd?” bakugou slurs, pushing poor kirishima off of his lap and to the floor in order to stand up and cross the room towards your boyfriend, pointing a finger in his face.

izuku pushes the digit away, smirking up at the blonde drunkenly and everyone’s gaze in the room suddenly falls on them. “i bet that i can last longer in no nut november than you.”

you whimper from your lover’s lap, knowing that as soon as everyone clears out you’re going to pounce on him before this stupid bet takes place. this doesn’t go unnoticed by the girls, momo and mina, who tease you for having such a high libido but you don’t think they’ll understand how much you’re going to suffer without your broccoli haired boyfriend’s dick every other night. 

you love izuku and katsuki, you really do— but its times like this, for the sake of your sex drive and love life, that you really wish they’d got along more. maybe it was their little battle for your affection that caused the rift between the two, after all katsuki had been the only boy in your life up until college and izuku, you were pretty sure was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with…either way, their rivalry was getting in your way and was about to be a major cockblock for the next thirty days. “hold up you guys, don’t i get a say in this?” your voice comes out in a slight whine as you tug on midoriya’s fitted shirt, but he’s too busy having a stare off with your roommate to notice. “what about me and my needs?”

“it’s not about’cha, shitty girl.”

“stay out of this, yn.”

you huff, pushing yourself off of your boyfriend izuku’s lap to stand and smack the pair of losers upside their heads before joining your girls on the floor. mina pulls you into a comforting hug, trying to distract your mind from the fact that it’ll be deku dick-less for a month while momo serves you out a set of cards to join her in a game of cards against humanity with the other boys lounging on the floor— kirihsima is invited into the game too. “sounds like i’ll be getting you a dildo as an early christmas present!” ashido comments, swiping her deck off of your hand me down rug before anyone can see them.

momo grins at you while you take your cards and take another shot from poor, unsuspecting shoto. “better make it extra thick, we know he’s got a nice one on him, yn.”

“fuck you guys.”

“gladly, we’re not taking part of no nut november like those two idiots.” the black haired girl hums, shuffling in her seat to start the next round. you roll your eyes and turn your gaze to watch the green and blonde haired boys you adore so much fight over this trivial guys only event.

their cheeks are flushed from all the beer they’ve drunk and they’re leaning on each other for support, but that doesn’t stop them from going at each other. “you couldn’t beat me, even if you tried, shitty deku.” katsuki mumbles, arm around midoriya’s head— forcing the poor boy into bakugou’s large pecs. “haha...shitku…”

“oh try me, bitch.” your boyfriend counters, voice so husky it sends shivers down your spine, although it contrasts deeply with the sight of his adorable cheeks pressed against katsuki’s tits.

they’re too drunk to brawl it out and quite frankly you’re too tired to bother to stop them, mind only wondering how you plan to survive the next thirty days.

three years, three novembers and a few weeks into december later; you’re still wondering how the hell you’ve survived.

ever since that night in your freshman year; izuku, bakugou and the other boys have competed vigorously to last throughout the entirety of no nut november; your boyfriend having won the last three years in a row. katsuki hated it, losing to your izuku but he hated the victory sex you gave him even more. 

you’d think he’d be used to it by now, with everyone in their final year of college but bakugou had manage to luck out this year on not hearing you and midoriya go round after round on november thirtieth. finals had hit you guys hard in terms of wrapping up the semester before christmas; they were important to pass too, considering you’d all be graduating within a few months, so you’d barely seen izuku since november ended and december rolled around.

now, being a couple weeks into the festive month and with finals drawing to a close— you had yet to make plans to see your boyfriend. there was little time between the online classes and preparation from the holidays, yet you could feel yourself growing more sexually frustrated by the second. rubbing one out wasn’t doing it for you anymore and listening katsuki’s bragging about his peaceful nights of sleep while you decorated your apartment with mistletoe and tinsel was really starting to tick you off.

the very decoration slips from between your fingers as bakugou walks in, yanking bits of tape from his fingers from where you had him lining the ceiling rails with gold, green and red tinsel. the blonde had only gone and slammed the door to your living room against the wall, grumbling about the stupid mess of clear tape across his clumsy fingers— the action scaring you half to death before you huff, facing him. “what, katsuki? what could you possibly need right now?”

his vermillion gaze picks up from his smoking palms,  a last resort to getting rid of the tape. “came to tell ya that ‘m headin’ out with kirishima— going to pick up our girlfriend from the airport.” a sweet blush lays loosely against your best friend’s cheeks at his admission, not long after you guys’ drunken night in freshman year, bakugou had confessed to your red headed companion; only to find out he had a girlfriend waiting for him in his hometown. 

kirishima wasn’t a cheater, but he also couldn’t help the flutter in his heart around bakugou— so had the two meet straight away and after a lot of tears and large dramatics, the three settled into a cute little relationship. you’d only met the girl once when she visited both boys for spring break— but you’d loved her and knew how much she made your best friend happy.

you smile nonetheless, picking the mistletoe up from the floor. “tell her i said hi, yeah?” you mention to your friend while he shrugs on a jacket and checks himself in the mirror. katsuki was in love, and it was insanely adorable to see. “do i need to set up the guest bedroom for her ’n kiri?”

“nah, shitty red head kicked out kami, he’s staying with sero and mina while my girl’s up.” katsuki shakes his head, letting you fix the collar of his jacket after you bound over to him. “we’ll be back after lunch to pick up some of my stuff though. so don’t do anything fuckin’ stupid and i’ll see you later, yeah?”

you cross a finger over your heart but the mischievous smile on your face gives you away. “no promises katsu, stay safe out there!”

your smile drops however, as soon as your roommate closes the door behind him, knowing him and kirishima, they’ll probably fuck their girl across all the surfaces in eijirou’s free apartment, which only makes your stomach churn with hot jealously and a hint of arousal. 

selfish of you as it were, you wish your boyfriend hadn’t chosen such an intense subject with so many finals and intense studying— but izuku loved engineering almost as much as he loved you, so its not like you would ask him to give up his passion.

besides, you figured he’d look pretty hot in his mechanics classes—sleeves rolled up to his elbows, scared hands on display while sweat drips down his furrowed brow and—

and fuck me, now you were as horny as a mother fucker.

a familiar ache appears between your thighs while you attempt to busy yourself with the rest of the festive decorations; you hang a wreathe at the door both inside and out, tape the remaining tinsel around counters in your kitchen and finally attempt to fix the christmas tree katsuki insisted wasn’t lopsided ( even though it was ). but no matter how hard you worked om christmas-ing the apartment, you couldn’t shake the fantasy of midoriya railing you against his work bench. it wouldn’t go away.

patting your cheeks to calm your hot flush; you decide that you’re done bedazzling and fix some christmas lights above your doorways to go with your LED ones, and get ready to take a cold shower and hoping that the wetness between your legs will go away. you make a  b-line for the bathroom, not bothering to bring a spare change of clothes since katsuki isn’t home. it’s not like he hasn’t seen you naked before.

you’re half way through your commute, wearing nothing but one of zuku’s old shirts when the front door jingles and busts open from the other side of your home. foot steps pound against your hardwood floor, letting you know someone is approaching.

“fucking hell katsuki, stop slamming the door against the wall before you make another—“ your words die in the back of your throat when your sweet little boyfriend comes into view. albeit a bit dishevelled, deku’s green hair falls prettily over his excited eyes while sweat rolls in tiny droplets from his forehead to his chin and his backpack hanging half off of his shoulder…in all honesty he looks a mess, but a good looking one at that. “zuku? what are you doing here?”

your lover looks bewildered, but a smile that fills you with warmth crosses his face. “i ran across campus to see you; i finished my finals…” he pants, the engineering building is pretty far from here so no wonder he looks the way he does.

despite knowing this, you quirk a brow. “still doesn’t answer my question babe.”

“november is over,” izuku sighs, dropping his backpack and crossing the room towards you in three short strides. When he reaches you, scarred hands curl around your waist while soft lips tickle the shell of your ear with deku’s next words. “it’s christmas…don’t make me wait. i want to fuck you.”

you don’t miss the way bight green eyes darken and drag up your hand naked body, your boyfriend’s shirt ending just above your knees and exposing the meat of your thighs to him. the wetness pools between them, making your skin glisten under familiar flashing LED lights and tinsel. izuku is waiting for a. sign...anything for you to give him consent to take his prize between your legs, electricity crackles in the air and you instinctively reach up to curl your fingers in his curls. “fuck me, izuku.” you say breathlessly, unleashing a month and a half’s worth of hormones out onto each other. “fuck me like you mean it, big boy.”

the teasing lilt to your voice earns you a spank to the ass as deku lifts you up into his arms and over his muscular shoulder. you squeal in delight at the harsh sting, leaning down to pat his ass too. he’s got a particularly nice one and you’re sure it was carved by the fucking gods. 

the green haired boy hauls you over to the kitchen counter, setting you down atop it before his lips find yours in passionate and hurried movements. its been so long since you’ve kissed him, felt his muscles ripple under your touch while your hand roams his chest underneath the varsity jacket he wears.

you push the offending material off while izuku trails a hand between your thighs, chuckling into the kiss at the slick that adds a glimmer to your skin. his pink tongue darts out to lick a stripe across your bottom lip, begging for permission to enter your hot mouth. you grant him access, swirling your own pink muscle around is and suck it down. your breath hitches as thick fingers finally come into contact with the burn of your heat, gently prodding at your puffy, sticky clit. “you’re…doll, you’re so fucking wet already. did you miss me?” your boy moans breathlessly in between your sloppy kisses, pulling away to show you the string of your slick that coats his fingers. you nod in agreement.

izuku taps your lips once and you obediently take the digits into your mouth, humming at your sweetness that invades your tongue, all the while, his other wandering hand shoves two digits into your wet cunt with no warning— making you shiver on the counter while the tinsel you’d taped there scratches at your calves. both sets of fingers thrust into your openings at the same time, giving you a friction you so awfully desire.

“such a good girl, dollface— fuck, i f-forgot how good you looked sucking on my fingers like that.” midoriya whines out and you’re not sure which of your holes he’s referring to, but you couldn’t care less, not when those that stuff your tight pussy are curling against the walls in a way that has you leaking sweet nectar all over your marble surfaces. you gush at his praise however, bucking your hips into his hand while the heel of his palm grinds into your swollen clit— sending shockwaves through your body.

the fingers that plug your mouth are pulled out so the darling sounds of your moans mingle with that of your dripping heat, walls clenching around izuku every once on a while. your lover grinds against the table, watching you with close eyes as your face contorts into expressions that he’s missed so dearly. one thrust into your spongy g-spot makes your body jump and thighs close around your boyfriend’s hand— head falling forward against his shoulder. “mnn, zuzu... haven’t felt this good in s’long, gonna cum, gonna mess up your hand.”

to your dismay, deku pulls from your cunt faster than you would have liked and you whine at the empty feeling in your stretched out hole. your heat makes an awful dripping sound when you’re fully empty, and you grunt knowing that its a mess you’ll have to clean up later. 

however, you’re easily distracted by the lips at your collar bones, painting bruises into your sweat licked skin while slick hands paw at your breasts. “cum on my face first, please?” its cute how desperate izuku is, but you can’t say that you aren’t either— especially when you haven’t fucked in so long.

“yes, god yes…” you accept too quickly while your shirt is pulled off completely; for midoriya’s mouth as moved from pressing hot kisses to your neck onto biting at your breast and rolling the hardened nipple of your other with his free hand. “but, wanna suck you off too ‘zuku…”

your boyfriend doesn’t hesitate with his next movements, kicking off his pants and boxers ( in one go, mind you ) before  picking you up once again and sinking to the floor with you in his arms. he makes quick work of flipping you onto your tummy, pulsing cunny shoved so close into his face that you can feel deku’s nose bump your clit when he breathes and then;  your face rests so easily on the swell of his thigh— right next to his hardened cock that you’ve missed so much.

izuku midoriya is a god and you swear by it.

your friend’s were right, he is packing. he’s thick and girthy, tip angry and red as it leaks heavily with a clear precum that has you drooling. “missed your dick, zu,“ you sigh, mostly to yourself and before you know it, your lips enclose around the head of his cock.

the way you suck on it, as if you’ve been starved of your last meal makes izuku shiver with pleasure and his nails dig into your peachy ass. you roll his balls between your fingers, loving the delicious whimpers you manage to lure from between your boy’s lips and the sound makes your pussy spasm around nothing.

a weighted palm moves to the back of your head in order to push you further down on his cock, deku’s own hips bucking up so you swallow more of him down. the taste of him is dangerously addictive, saltiness dancing across your tongue. “suck my dick sweetheart, yeah? suck on it just like that, good girl.” the hot breath from each of his choked laments brushes against your eager cunt, dampening your skin even more. he dives right in, tongue slithering between your puffy folds while he slurps at you with at  insatiable place. 

izuku craves to make you feel nothing but ecstasy, working his pink muscle hard against your walls that clamp down on his tongue while yours runs laps between the dribbling tip of his iron hot length. inhaling sharply, you force yourself to take more of deku down your throat, listening out for the tears that sting in his emerald eyes wen you swallow around him. You hum with sweet victory when his breathing stutters and hips jump up with excitement.

you’re both close, sensitive from the time you’ve spent away from one another, but neither of you can find it in yourselves to care. the room rises with temperature at every step you take towards orgasm, deku taking your cheeks in large, calloused palms and spreading you apart to spit directly into your hole. you swear on your life you’d never known pleasure until you’d met izuku, as no matter how much time you’d been apart, he still knew all the little tips and tricks to get you going. where to hold you, how to touch you, what to say. he was always so focused on making you feel good.

your head bobs up and down with an inconsistent pace, each time, your tongue mapping out the veins on his girth that you’d come to know so well, hand’s fisting at balls and the rest of his cock that you can’t reach.

“i’m gonna…doll—puppy, i’m gonna cream in that mouth of yours… please,” a strangled cry. “i-is that okay?”

you tap his thigh once, your own little signal to let your boyfriend know it’s okay before continuing your work— letting drool pool in your mouth before spewing it onto his cock. deku pulls his tongue from inside of you, flicking it rapidly at your clit to bring you closer and closer to the edge, not wanting to cum without you. and he doesn’t, the cord that’s built up in your stomach finally snapping.

white flashes behind your eyes as you gush all over izuku’s face, drenching his freckled cheeks and painting his innocence with a layer of your honeyed sin. Your lover follows shortly after, filling your mouth to the brim with a heavy load that tastes of him and only him. a taste that you could fall in love with every single day. “baby,”  you giggle after letting go of his cock with a satisfying ‘pop’, heat spreading beneath your skin as you take note of the slight shine to the green haired student’s face. “think you made me squirt!”

“guess i did! you’re always so cute when you squirt for me, yn,” and like the messy boy he is, midoriya wipes his mouth on the back of his hand ( always a poor eater, couldn’t keep his meal in one peace ) before peeking at you from over your quivering and arched back. izuku smiles proudly at his handy-work of your messy cunt, radiating a billion rays of sunshine and your heart clenches in your chest. you hate how cute he looks when you’re in such a lewd and compromising position, like he hadn’t just fucked you dumb under the mistletoe. “should’ve been on my dick ’n not m-my tongue though...”

“i wouldn’t be opposed to another round, if you aren’t.”

“like hell i could say no to being inside you after a whole month of waiting, doll.”

you roll your eyes, but wiggle your hips back into your boyfriend’s face nonetheless. “then dick me down deku, destroy me.”

with your boyfriend’s help, you manage to crawl off of his lap and wait patiently on your knees as he stands. izuku beams down at you, a hundred and one words of love written in his eyes that glow warmly under christmas lights before he pets your head and reaches for your hands to help you stand on shaky legs.

the first kiss you share after this is gentle and sweet, even while your tangled fingers are set free and deku’s large hands are once again on your waist, rubbing small circles into the skin of your hips as he backs you into the nearest wall. you simper at the taste of yourself on his tongue and allow him to hoist you up by the backs of your thighs— locking your ankles at the centre of his back and just above bis bum— all the while keeping you pressed against the wall.

the outline of izuku’s length presses hotly against your weeping slit, his lips still slotted against yours in a slow liplock while his tip smears the remains of his seed across your clit and between your folds. you feel your boyfriend’s arms quiver around you as he slowly begins to sheath himself within your spamming pussy— jolting away from his lips, your mouth falls open in a weak moan and the green eyed boy quickly follows you, copying the movement of your lips as his sweaty forehead meets your own and your gazes align sweetly. “doll…” he mumbles brokenly, letting you adjust to the push of his cock against your walls. “been so long since i felt you like this…”

your fingertips reach out and graze his shoulders, hot breath fanning out between your bodies as izuku’s cock reaches the hilt inside of you. he stills. “move baby, can’t wait anymore— “

izuku midoriya doesn’t need to be told twice when it comes to fucking you; finally making the move to bottom out inside of your pussy. heat blossoms in your heart and your glistening mound as your lover gently rolls his hips against yours and the way he feels reminds you that your mind, body and soul belong to him and him only.

although you are finally together, moving as one against the wall in your shitty college apartment, you crave for izuku to fill you to the brim and reach up to tug at mossy locks in order to bring him impossibly closer.

you don’t dare close your eyes as deku sets the pace, not even as your gaze on him flutters, you want the image of his blushed and blissed out face imprinted to into the back of your mind forever, you want the sounds of struggled whimpers and skin slapping against skin to become the tune of your memories. you want your senses to be filled with him always and forever as make love against tinselled ceiling rails and mistletoe above your heads. all you can think is more, more, more. more of him, more of izuku.

“focus on me, puppy,” izuku reminds you, grinding his pelvis against you every time his hips canter into you. his cock grazes the entrance of your womb, leaking into you like a cocktail of your arousals. but the neediness behind his words makes you blink away the glassiness in your eyes, locking your arms and legs around him tighter and grinding your hips down to meet the drive of his cock into your spongy g-spot. “your cute lil hole’s still so tight, nice ’n moulded into the shape of my cock— made to take me, right?” your boy babbles, tripping over his sentences through the saliva on his tongue.

the feeling has you stirring against your boyfriend’s length, his now rapid pace sending your teary eyes rolling and you mewling. “made for you ’n only you ‘zu, please don’ stop…” is all you can say, mind breaking as midoriya’s hands drop between your joined bodies to draw lazy shapes into your puffy nub, the movements silky due to the mild mix of juices coating your sexes.

each thrust from your lover sends you a little bit up the wall, head of his cock catching tastefully along the ridges of your velvety walls— the way your pussy feels inside drives izuku to the brink of insanity, you’ve always been able to take him so well and he missed the way your cute face curled into expressions of desire all for him. you’re so pretty, so intoxicating and he’s so happy to have you back in his arms.

“s-such a good girl for me, yn…fucking hell puppy,” izuku punctuates each of his toe curling thrusts with stuttered cries of your name, angling his hips upwards to hit your g-spot over and over. everything feels so sloppy, tainted with signs of your love but as the knot in your stomach begins to unravel, you couldn’t care less. “gonna make you mine, gonna fill you up and make you my fucking puppy.”

“’m already yours, always will be zuku,” you manage to speak, clenching down on him and letting out an almost pornographic moan as deku drills into you with the last of his strength.

he nods against your foreheads that remain pressed together, staring at you with adoration written across his seafood eyes. “love you, doll…love you s’much, you did so well baby…cum for me now…” izuku mumbles out, hissing slightly as your grip on his hair tightens to yank him down for one final searing kiss.

tears of heavenly pleasure roll down your cheeks as he swallows your final moan, his words pushing you right over the edge and into an earth shattering orgasm. “c-cumming!” you squeal so loud that you’re sure the neighbours can hear, while you lose control and pulse around midoriya’s scalding cock. the world of colour flashes behind your eyes— release splattering out against your boyfriend’s pelvis and the floor. “mnnn, izuku! i love you, please…”

you’re begging now, your sloppy pussy coaxing him along to his own release while deku relentlessly fucks into you. his chest rumbles with every one of his whimpers and groans, cock pushing you into overstimulation while he snaps his hips into you.

“ohh i love you…gonna cum, gonna cum— fuck, puppy—!” he sobs pathetically, dropping his head to your neck as his teeth clamp down on your bare skin to silence himsel. your tired body is forced up the wall while izuku tumbles into his own orgasm, sweltering seed splashing up inside your abused cunt. he slows to a grind, creaming inside you and painting your insides white as snow— panting with you until your breathing calms down.

the pair of you sink to the floor again, still in one another’s embrace as exhaustion sweeps over your limbs. before you know it, izuku is giggling sweetly against your lips, pressing grateful kisses along your neck and jaw while you fiddle with his baby hairs on the nape of his neck— still trying to catch your breath.

“t-that,” he sighs, nothing but love and adoration cushioning his gaze on you as you settle in his lap. you squirm at feeling so full, his cum dripping out of your fluttering hole but find yourself getting comfortable soon after. “that was so good, i missed you, yn, really.”

you cup the boy’s freckled cheeks and hum, heart swelling at his slight confession. “i missed you more zuku, all of you, not just your dick.” you clarify your words, making light of the mess you’ve made.

izuku rolls his eyes but leans into your gentle touch nonetheless, faking a pout in order to get a kiss on the lips. “glad to know that my girlfriend still loves me, even when she’s been deprived of my godly cock for a month and a half.”

“i’ll always love you.” you say, leaning in to give him a slight peck on the lips.

“as will i.”

you both tilt your heads to complete the vow with a simple kiss when a cough cuts through the love filled atmosphere, making you and izuku jump right out of your skin. Immediately, your gaze scopes out the room, only to land on your child hood best friend— accompanied by both his girlfriend and boyfriend. fuck, you completely forgot about that.

“are you two done now?” katsuki drawls, still tucked into his winter jacket, while krishima covers his girlfriend’s eyes with a free hand, the other occupied by her luggage from her flight. she still offers you an awkward smile and a wave.

“k-kacchan! haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” deku squeaks, wrapping his arms around you to pull you into his chest and at least protect some of your decency. it’s nothing bakugou nor kirishima haven’t sen before ( it’s not the first time you’ve been caught like this ) but you allow yourself to fall into izuku’s protective embrace anyways— heated embarrassment prickling underneath your skin.

your blonde roommate, however, is livid— staring you down with bloody eyes that speak tales of murder. “knock? knock? i fucking live here, you shitty nerd!” bakugou scolds, making you flinch and offer him a weak smile. eijirou by now has the decency to escort his girlfriend into his other partner’s room to gather some of his belongings, effectively leaving you and your boyfriend to face the wrath of your favourite angry pomeranian. the blonde turns to you. “and i thought i told you not to do anythin’ fuckin’ stupid while i was gone?”

“don’t yell at me! i didn’t know izuku was coming… literally and figuratively!” both boys groan at this, making you scowl. what? it was a good joke! “besides, i was just congratulating my boyfriend for winning no nut november, again. you should be used to it by now, suki.”

katuski looks between you both, annoyance sweeping his face before he pinches the bridge of his nose and huffs. “couldn’t you congratulate him somewhere else? somewhere, where i didn’t have to be blinded and traumatised for the rest of my shitty life.”

this time, it’s your boyfriend who speaks up, standing with you in his arms. deku smirks evilly, pointing to the little green plant above your heads. “no can do kacchan, it’s dick destroyer december and there was no better way to start it, than under the mistletoe.”

izuku turns swiftly on his heel and makes a dash towards your bedroom before your best friend can threaten to blow you up, presumably to fuck you in your bed for this next round.

“fuck you guys!” he curses you out, watching you go.

“we’re already on it, have a great christmas, katsuki!” you sing back, just a deku slams your door shut and drops you onto your bed—  already crawling on top of you.

you’d have to thank katsuki someday for challenging izuku back in freshman year, because without his newfound love for november— you wouldn’t have discovered your guilty pleasure for dick destroyer december.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

To Infinity & Beyond ♾ | Doctor Strange Imagine

My Marvel Masterlist

Pairings: Doctor Strange x female!reader/enhanced

Content warnings: fluff, mentions of violence and death. Set after the events of Endgame | Female reader (she/her)

Premise: Having gained powers to conjure illusions after being exposed to the reality stone, Y/n L/n never thought she would ever find purpose in the world—even after being recruited to the Avengers. But after the mad-titan Thanos wiped away have the universe for five years, the aftermath grants her not just her wish, but something so much more.

——————————

“I always thought I’d be alone,” her soft voice rang out in the darkness. “Wouldn’t find purpose or even friends.”

“Why is that?” he asked gently from beside her where they laid on the roof of the Sanctum, watching the stars sparkle in the sky. The constellations appeared to be dancing after she gave a flick of her hand shortly after climbing up. He felt her shrug underneath his arm—the gentle brush of her head against his shoulder from the movement.

“It just didn’t seem in the cards for me. I was always on my own since I was a teenager—having been raised in the foster care system my whole life. Those types of connections never felt they would work for me. School was the only escape—and it wasn’t until I started working for Jane and Selvig that I felt some stability,” her voice lowers as the memories started to fill her mind.

“Then this power came,” the red-ish gold glow emitted from her fingers, causing him to turn him head. “—and I thought it was it for me. I was scared what it meant—not understanding even after Thor tried his best to explain. The way it affected Jane before I absorbed it made me believe I would die—cause she was dying with it in her. Even after they removed it, a piece still lingered and I didn’t know how my life would be.” She paused to sigh, “—but then the Avengers came and changed that.”

“And how was that—in the end?” The glow subsided from her hand and she set it back to her side.

There was a moment of silence before she spoke again, “It was good,” a sad smile took over her features. “I enjoyed my time with them.” She looked up so she could meet his eye. “If I hadn’t stayed—if I hadn’t helped,” she corrected, tone becoming soft, “I wouldn’t have met you, Stephen.”

Stephens eyes twinkled when they looked down at her, his hand coming up to stroke her hair. He pressed his lips to her forehand, letting his mouth linger for a bit while saying, “All because of some gems with power beyond anything we’ve seen.”

2018 was the first time Y/n L/n met the Master of Mystic Arts, Stephen Strange.

It would be a point in time that would change the trajectory of her life. Never did she think a simple meeting regarding Thanos would lead to the outcome they endured.

“Ms. L/n?” The voice startled had her jump from her spot on the couch when a glowing orange ring filled the room and a man stepped out from it. “You’re the one they call ‘The Illusionist’ correct?”

“Uh yes,” Y/n squeaked out, “who the hell is asking?” She did not recognize the man in blue and red—not having been part of the Avengers.

“My name is Doctor Stephen Strange,” he introduced himself before nodding his head to the portal, “I’d like you to come with me please—it is very important.”

Y/n was about to question the reason for urgency when two men stepped from behind Stephen making her eyes widen. “Tony—Bruce!” She hadn’t seen Bruce since Sokovia and for Tony it had been few months. After the Accords fiasco Y/n kept to herself and stayed at the tower.

“Hey, Houdini,” Tony greeted, ignoring her small glare at the nickname. “Sorry for popping in without calling first, but we’re on the clock apparently.”

Bruce gave a wave, “Hey, Y/n. Tony’s right— you gotta come with us.” So that’s how Y/n found herself in the New York Sanctum for the very first time. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Strange and Wong explained the origins of the Infinity stones—which gave Y/n some answers to questions she had wondered considering her power came from the reality stone. Strange had noticed her curious expression, “Your power comes from the reality stone from what I hear.”

“Yes it does,” she confirmed without looking away from the projection Wong had conjured. “Was an accident. Still don’t understand it much—I just call it illusions whenever I use it—hence the nickname.”

Strange comes to stand beside her, hands clasped in front of him. “I would say you’re manipulating the reality around you,” he says then adds, “seems more fitting don’t you think?”

Y/n looked at him, brow raised. “Hmm, never thought of that. I guess you’re right—you would be the expert about this I assume.” She let out a small laugh, crossing her arms while turning back to the others. Wong finished telling the origin of the stones and then the topic of Thanos was brought up.

“So Thanos already had the mind stone and gave it to Loki in hopes of collecting the space stone,” Y/n put the pieces together, “—but Loki failed. Now Thanos is after them all.”

“Yes,” Strange agreed, “there are two stones on earth. The others are out in space somewhere but considering the information Dr. Banner has told us, Thanos has more than enough resources to get all six in a short amount of time.”

Y/n couldn’t help but let out an exhausted sigh—pinching the bridge of her nose, “Ross is so going to put me in the Raft.”

Everything seemed to happen so fast Y/n could barely blink. One minute Tony is about to make a call to Steve, the next they are in the city streets fighting two of Thanos’ children. She used her powers to distract them by conjuring multiple versions of the group so they were unable to detect the real ones.

Ebony Maw, however, had powers just as strong and managed to erase her illusions with a flick of the hand. Y/n did her best to combat the alien while helping Strange since Tony was busy with the bigger guy. When the sorcerer became incapacitated allowing Maw to take him, Y/n used all her might to conjure a stairway to the ship—surprising herself when she was actually able to ascend them.

It was something she had never done—bending reality to form physical matter. Although it worked, each time she stepped on a stair it would disappear so Y/n had to run up them before the illusion completely disintegrated.

When she snuck onto that ship, she had no idea she would not be retuning to Earth for nearly five years.

It was one fight after another when the fuzzy feeling went away after consuming for what felt like five seconds. The last thing she remembered was Tony telling her to stay and her crying out for him. So when she opened her eyes and saw Tony was not there, but everyone else was confusion filled her veins.

“Y/n,” a familiar voice called out and she spun around to be met with Stephen.

“Strange,” she breathed in relief. “Where—Where’s Tony—what happened?” The Titan they were on looked similar yet different and Tony was nowhere to be found.

“It’s been five years,” he continued before she could interrupt—seeing the look of shock on her face. “It was the only way—they succeeded and now it’s time to finish the job.”

“What?!” She exclaimed, watching him start to wave his hands. “W-what the hell do you mean it’s been five years? What did they do?”

He just looked at her with sympathy, “I’m sorry, but there’s no time to explain,” with another circle of his hands, the orange ring illuminated and a portal showing destruction opened. Y/n stepped in front, hands glowing while looking around the scene in front of her. When her eyes landed on Tony, seeing the look of shock on his face mixed with relief she knew something had to have happened.

She didn’t want to believe Stephens words were true and it had been five years—but the distinct aging from Tony told a different story.

After blood and chaos, the battle came to an end—and Y/ns lost a piece of her heart. Tony was gone—as was Natasha. Yes they were victorious, but was it really worth all the loss?

Following the funeral Y/n found herself seated at one of the benches on the lake house patio. Her eyes were closed—but her mind was elsewhere because when Stephen found her there was an illusion playing out where Tony and Nat were seated in front of her. It stopped him in his tracks. The images of the two looked so real, Stephen felt it was if they were really there.

His eyes fell on Y/ns tear stained face and his heart clenched. “Y/n,” he softly said, making her stop the projection. She let her shoulders deflate, opening her eyes to stare out to the lake while he slowly moved toward her. “Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead,” she replied, turning away to wipe her face. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”

“I was heading out,” he nodded, clasping his hands in his lap as he sat down beside her. “—thought I’d pay one last respect to Pepper before leaving.” He waits a moment before adding, “And I wanted to see you as well—see how you’re doing. I know you and Tony were pretty close.”

Y/n let out a tired laugh, “We had our moments. I cared for him—he helped me after everything happened with the Accords and Thor was gone. I didn’t have a place to go, and Ross was hesitant of letting me out in society because of my powers. Tony managed to convince Ross I wasn’t a threat and could stay at the Tower.” She looks down, heart swelling at the memory. “He was a good man—despite the mistakes he made.”

Stephen agrees, taking a moment to let the words linger before speaking again. “Are you going to be okay?” She turns to look at him before shrugging.

“I was on my own long before I met the Avenger. Being alone is not something I’m a stranger too. I’ll manage—see where life takes me.”

Stephen places a hand on her shoulder, waiting for her reaction before saying, “You’re never alone, Y/n. Look around,” he gestures to the various people around the lake house. The Bartons were still there—Clint having a conversation by the lake with Wanda, and Thor was with Banner. Peter and his aunt were with Harley, Rhodey, Happy and Pepper while Morgan clung to her leg.

It was bittersweet.

“I may not have been an Avenger,” Stephen begins, capturing her attention again. “But I saw the way you all share a special bond. It’s unbreakable—and you will always have them even if you don’t realize it.”

Y/n processed his words, feeling a sense of hope fill her veins and a smile soon made its way on her face. “Thank you, Stephen. I really needed to hear that.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied genuinely, “and if you ever need anything the Sanctums doors are open to you.” He’s surprised when her hand comes up to take his, feeling the warmth of her palm.

“I might take you up on that,” she told him, glancing back at the lake briefly, “—and you don’t be a stranger either.” She squeezes his hand. He laughs, promising to not be and she put her hand back in her lap. “Things are gonna be different now.”

He follows her gaze to the lake, smiling at the sight of Morgan on Peters shoulders and Harley chasing them. “They will, but we’ll get through it,” he briefly looks to her adding, “together.” That seemed to make her smile.

“I know I shouldn’t make those illusions,” Y/n then said, letting her eyes flicker to the floor. “It’s just—It’s just nice to see them like that. To remember how they were. I never got to say goodbye to Nat, you know.”

Stephens face turns solemn, remembering Tony wasn’t the only one she lost. “I’m sorry. I wish there was—.”

“No,” she stops him with a soft voice, “There was nothing we could do—you saw the possibilities and what needed to be done. The universe was saved because of Nat and I know she’d be proud to know we were victorious—that her sacrifice was not in vain.” Y/n thinks back to her time with the amazing woman, “And although I’ll miss her, I know she’s at peace.”

A silence takes over between the two and he waits a moment before speaking. “You shouldn’t feel bad about your illusions.” When her tilts in confusion he continues, “—if remembering how they were helps you cope, then you should do it. You have a gift, Y/n—and you shouldn’t feel guilty of using it. Especially if it helps you.”

She leans back against the bench, a little shyly, “I wouldn’t call it a gift—.”

“But it is,” Strange interjects, surprising her more, “It’s not everyday someone comes in physical contact with an infinity stone and survives, let alone is given a power. Wanda and her brother were the only ones to survive the exposure of the mind stone—,” he nods to the redhead talking to Clint. “—It chose them.” He looks back to her to see Y/n already had her eyes on him. “Just like the reality stone chose you. You’re special, Y/n.”

Gratitude erupts in her, and Y/n smiles once again at the man. “You know, for someone who says he doesn’t have a way with words, you really know how to make someone feel better.” The statement makes him laugh.

“I was someone who would take everything and anyone around me for granted. Didn’t really see the value in things,” he gives a shrug, “—but I’ve realized that isn’t how one should view life. I needed to do better, and I hope saying it also helps others.”

“Well it does,” she tells him. “And someone should tell you that everyone in awhile.”

Stephen raises a brow, an idea coming to mind. “Maybe you can be the one.” Y/n didn’t know what exactly he was implying, but it was enough to cause heat to rise. She turned away when he started to smirk, biting her lip to stop the smile from peeking out.

Funny what life brings you—even in the strangest of times.

“You know something came to my mind,” She suddenly says, making his brow, “All of us had some contact with these stones at one point—none of us having known each other prior,” she pauses glancing at the new friends she called family. “But these little gems with power beyond anything we’ve ever seen, managed to bring us all together,” her eyes meet his, bittersweet emotion filling them.

The corners of his lips curl up, “I guess the universe had a plan for us.” She mirrors his expression, mischief twinkling in her gaze.

“What’s that thing Buzz Lightyear always said?” she paused, laughing when Stephen already started to chuckle at the joke she was implying. He took her hand again and together they said the words.

“To infinity and beyond.”

[frostedfaves]

Naive (3)

Masterlist

Pairing: demon!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: You pick up on the lies in Wanda’s life and she decides to show you the truth.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, dark!fic, demon things™️, more hints at dom/sub because I’m a whore for demon!Wanda

A/N: I can’t believe that it’s been a month since I posted the last one 😭 I have some things planned for the next part and so on but I also kinda wanna take requests again??? idk we all know how I get overwhelmed easily with that so we’ll see what happens there. anyway tell me your thoughts on this please!

Previous part

Waking up feels like gasping for air after being trapped underwater. You aren’t sure how long you were asleep, but the mid afternoon traffic quickly alerts you of how much of the day has passed. 

Despite your head feeling like it’s made of cement, you manage to stand up, slipping off thin pajamas as you walk into the bathroom and stop at the mirror. Your skin seems tender in places and you’re a little bit startled when there isn’t a single indication of the bite marks and scratches you feel, even after rubbing your eyes a few times and turning in every direction possible. Deciding to let it go for now, you reach for the shower stall to turn on the water, detouring to the bedroom instead when you hear your phone ringing.

“Hello?”

“You didn’t save my number, did you?”

“Wanda?” You pull the phone away long enough to quickly clear your throat. “I mean hey, Wanda! What makes you think I didn’t save your number?”

“You answered like you didn’t know who was going to be on the other end.”

“Okay, you caught me,” you admit after a moment of silence. “I promise I’ll save it as soon as we hang up. Anyway, what’s up?”

“Remember that pet adoption center you pointed out to me?” You acknowledge her with a hum. “I was thinking about getting a cat…Wanna tag along?”

“Absolutely! I was just about to shower though so I can be ready in an hour or so.”

“Perfect! I’ll text you when I’m outside.”

The two of you say your goodbyes and you keep your promise of saving her number, typing in her name and hesitating on the emoji keyboard. Realizing you’d spent far too much time contemplating this, you simply save what you have and hurry back to the bathroom, something in your brain urging you to not keep her waiting.

-

Within an hour, she sends you a text in all caps and a smiley face that tells you she’s arrived, and you can’t hide the fact that you’re surprised when you come outside and she’s waiting on the passenger side of the car.

“Hey! How are you?” she greets cheerily as she approaches you with a hug, and you shiver when her hand touches your lower back. “Are you cold?”

“No, I’m okay.” You smile and thank her when she opens the door for you, attempting to collect yourself as she crosses to the driver’s side again. “I’m really happy to see you again.”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly as she pulls away from the curb. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“No no, I just didn’t want to assume you were enjoying our time together as much as I was.”

She places her hand over yours while she glances at you, smiling as she squeezes your fingers and thigh lightly. You feel a rush of something traveling from the places she touched to your brain, only slightly aware of the fog settling in your mind.

“Well I didn’t want to be too enthusiastic about it and scare you away if all you wanted was friendship,” you clarify, meeting her eyes when she reaches a red light.

“I suppose you’re looking for more too, then.”

“I am now.”

The light turns green and she breaks eye contact, but the little smirk that follows tells you everything you need to know. At least, you hope it does.

-

“I think he’s the cutest one we’ve seen yet,” you comment about the kitten that hasn’t looked away from Wanda since you approached his area. “He seems really drawn to you, too.”

“How did he get the name ‘Baby Satan’?” Wanda inquires with an employee, who approaches you with a chuckle.

“It’s actually Baby Stan, because we used to have an adult cat named Stan as well and needed to tell the two apart. We were going to give him a new name but decided to leave that up to his new family.”

“It says ‘Baby Satan’ though,” you cosign with Wanda, gesturing to the extra A mixed in with the magnetic letters that spell the kitten’s name.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I don’t know how that got there,” the employee apologizes as she reaches over to fix the sign, and you watch her freeze as Wanda touches her arm.

“Don’t be sorry. Keep it; I want to adopt him.”

“Okay, right this way,” the employee mumbles as she turns awkwardly and stumbles over to a desk, and as the two of you follow her, you look back to see Baby Satan still staring at the woman beside you.

“What was that about?” you speak up finally once you’re in the car with her new furry friend, and Wanda frowns at you while fastening her seatbelt.

“What?”

“Why did that employee react to you like that? You touched her and she started acting really weird after.”

“Oh, Kim’s fine!” she assures you as she fixes her mirror before pulling out of the parking lot. “I actually asked her about that while you were looking at scratching posts and she said I’d overstepped her boundaries and made her uncomfortable. Don’t worry, I apologized and everything’s good again.”

“She told you her name?”

“She was wearing a name tag, babe.”

Babe...that’s new. Still, the sudden nickname doesn’t completely distract you from the fact that you’re certain there was no name tag on Kim’s uniform. You’re debating with yourself about bringing this up when you notice her heading toward Lane County.

“Are you taking me to your house?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” She glances at you and over her shoulder toward Baby Satan before turning back to the road. “I figured I could introduce both of my kittens to the place they’ll be spending a lot of time in.”

Her fingers brush over your knee as “my kittens” leaves her lips, and you’re almost embarrassed when your hips involuntarily buck slightly. Noticing the small change in your behavior, she takes advantage of your head turned toward your own window and allows her instincts to continue driving while she stares at you, placing her palm on your thigh and rubbing circles on the fabric covering it that brings her closer and closer to your core.

“Home, sweet home,” Wanda announces as she pulls her wandering hand away to park the car, jumping out a second later and grabbing her furry son from the backseat. “Hey there, Baby S.”

You step out of the car in a similar fashion of pulling yourself out of a swimming pool, taking in the fresh air and trying to relax yourself as you follow her into the apartment building. The hallways reflect the quiet and clean neighborhood as you make your way into the elevator and up to the 6th floor, suddenly entering the most empty apartment you’ve ever seen.

Of course there’s furniture: a couch with a TV mounted on the nearest wall, a dining table with a set of matching chairs, a few stools placed at the island and kitchen appliances that are shiny and new. But there isn’t any personal artwork, posters, books or even just a lamp that you could tell Wanda purchased herself with one glance.

“Are you staying in an AirBNB or something?” you ask as she carefully places Baby Satan’s carrier next to the couch, and she chuckles.

“I guess technically it was one before I moved in, but I’ve been here for two years.”

“Okay...so where are your pictures?”

“What?”

“Where are your pictures?” you repeat, maintaining a steady voice despite the expression she gives you as she faces you again. “Pictures of your family, friends, you as a child?”

“If you knew my family, you’d understand why you don’t see them here.” She startles you by practically growling her words but you press further.

“Okay but you also said you love plants and we’re the only living things in here.” You step back to put more space between you while quiet shuffling noises are heard inside the carrier. “What’s really going on here?”

You can easily spot the shift in Wanda’s emotions: going from defensive, arms crossed and eyes glaring to resigned with slightly sagging shoulders and a defeated sigh.

“Fine, you got me.” She bends over to pick up the carrier again and passes you on her way to the door, stopping a few feet away. “If you’re serious about pursuing a relationship with me, then I should probably show you my real home.”

“I don’t know...”

“Come on, love.” She comes just close enough to bring your hand into hers and a tingle spreads through your body, causing you to pull away but her grip only tightens. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you, and this is the only time I’ve lied.”

You find yourself being drawn closer to her, and an almost familiar feeling washes over you when her thumb begins rubbing gentle circles into your jaw. The metal on her ring is so cold it almost burns upon contact, yet you nuzzle into her more with each pass along your skin.

“Don’t you want to be good for me without being forced to your knees first?”

If the fog surrounding your consciousness wasn’t so thick, you might’ve been shocked by this side of her, so calm yet demanding you serve her. But the hand on your jaw seemed to cover every inch of your body and sink into your nervous system, forcing you to fall into her and let her lead you back to the car with a simple arm around your waist. You’re buckled into the passenger seat again and a slightly blurry grin greets you from behind the wheel seconds later.

“I can’t wait to make you mine.”

Your head falls against the car window as she drives to the edge of Lane County, and your altered vision picks up on businesses turning into isolated suburbs into grassy fields into forests. You travel along narrow, winding roads past the tallest of trees with very few spaces in between, and your hazy state of mind prevents you from panicking when Wanda turns onto a dirt path that doesn’t even seem to be safe for bicycles. The wheels bump along the forest floor until she comes to a stop just outside of a two foot dwelling, similar to a cave.

Once the two of you are out of the car again, she holds your hand with her free one until you reach the cave, instructing you to sit in front of it while she does the same. She places her palm on the door, and her rings seem to come alive as they interact with it for a few moments before it swings open and the three of you are sent flying through a tunnel. You land with a groan on the hard floor and dust yourself off as you carefully stand, any questions dying in your throat as you face Wanda again, now standing before you in her true form.

“Welcome home.”

[poohsources]

Hii, as someone who isn’t familiar with Tumblr rp, how would I get started? I’m more used to Instagram rp, but lately there’s hardly been any activity on there. Sorry if this is a weird question btw

HELLO THERE !  no worries, it’s not a weird question and i’d be glad to help.  to be honest i’m not sure how different tumblr rp is from instagram rp ( or any other rp for this matter, since all i ever did was tumblr ) so this’ll probably end up being a little more extensive than it needs to be.  this is by no means a definite guide, though, and there are probably a million different ways how one could get started but this is what has worked for me.  anyway, without further ado, here’s my guide on how to get started with tumblr rp.

―  STEP ONE:  PREPARATIONS

the first step, of course, is deciding which character you wanna roleplay as.  would you rather play a canon character ( which can be as canonically accurate or divergent as you want them to be ) or an original character?  it’s also okay if you want to write multiple characters because you could either do that by making multiple single muse blogs or just compile them all onto one multimuse blog.  the possibilities here are endless but of course the character(s) you write should be your main focus.  just do whatever suits you best.

also, if you want to use icons ― which you totally don’t need to but i’m gonna add a section here anyway ― you should start looking for some before starting your blog.  of course, you can also make them yourself either by using pre-existing base icons ( personally, i use hollow-art and insanejournal a lot of the time ) or by taking various screencaps and cropping them yourself.  they can be as simple or fancy as you like and sizes also vary a lot depending on the person / fandom / whatever tumblr trend is in right now, but generally speaking, you can never go wrong with the 100x100 px basic ones.  honestly, the whole aesthetic-y aspect of your blog is up to your personal preference anyway.

another thing that’s worth thinking about before setting up your blog is the tagging system.  you don’t have to use it, but it’s usually easier to structure everything if you do decide to use tags.  you can use them to tag things like images, memes, promos, headcanons, writing, whatever.  again, it’s up to you and what you want to do.

―  STEP TWO:  SETTING YOUR BLOG UP

by far the most tedious step, these are the things that should probably be done before the actual fun of rping starts.

choose your url.  the easiest thing to do here is pick a word or a phrase or something that relates to the character you wanna rp as.  ( maybe like a personality trait or nickname for example. )  however, it shouldn’t be too long or overly complicated.  now, sometimes you’ll run into the problem that the best urls are unavailable.  so one thing to do is get creative with the spelling by adding in certain letters or switch some characters for others.  ( one popular example of this is switching out vowels with either c or x. )

make your blog.  alright, now that you’ve chosen your url the next step is to actually make the blog.  there are two ways you can go about this depending on whether or not you wanna make it your main blog or a sideblog.  there are advantages and disadvantages to both of these options, but if it’s your first time on tumblr rp, making it your main blog is probably the easier way to gain interactions and mutuals because there’s no need to redirect people to your sideblog.

edit the appearance.  if you go into the settings, you can edit your blog’s dash appearance however you like by picking a title, description, avatar, colors, and a header image.  again, make it as fancy or basic as you like.  and if you don’t want to use some of these things that’s fine as well.  for your first time, i wouldn’t fret too much about the general look of the blog in general.

set up your theme ― optional.  after setting up your blog, there are two different options for you to choose from. either you can make a ‘dash only’ blog ( by going to blog settings → visibility → hide ‘blogname.tumblr.com’ and checking the mark; this means people will only be able to view your blog within the dash ) or decide to use a theme.  of course you can simply use the tumblr standard theme but for roleplaying purposes it tends to be easier to use more roleplay oriented themes or at least ones that allow you to have more pages which you can use as your rules or about pages for example.  you could probably just search for rp themes and copy and paste the code of something you like into the theme editor of your own blog and get creative with it.

make your mobile pages ― optional.  because it’s difficult to access themes while on mobile, a lot of people tend to make more or less mobile friendly pages nowadays which they link in the pinned post at the top of their blogs.  two of the most popular sites i’ve seen used are carrd and google docs.  while docs tend to be less mobile friendly than carrds, they are probably easier to set up and there are a lot of pre-made templates around which you can use.  generally, it’s always better if you at least have a basic overview of your rules and character information ( especially if you write an original or canon divergent character ) in some way, shape or form.  if you want to keep it even more simple, though, you can easily just make a post with your rules and / or information and link them to your pinned post.  ( by the way, to make a pinned post, you need to go to the three dots in the upper right corner of a post and click pin. )

make a pinned post ― optional.  since we’re on that topic already, i’m gonna make a seperate section for this as well.  your pinned post should include the character(s) you’re writing as well as the fandom(s) they are from.  additionally it’s good to add in some basic information about yourself ( like name / alias, age, pronouns and potentially the timezone you reside in ) and potentially some links.  that could be the aforementioned rules and about pages or maybe even links to something like your wishlist tag or pinterest if you have a board for the character that you want to show off.

―  STEP THREE:  GET STARTED

now that all of that stuff is out of the way, you can finally start with the good part.  the easiest way to gain traction is by following other people and interacting with their posts.  if you’re writing a character from a specific fandom your best bet is to search the fandom promo tag and just follow some people in that fandom.  don’t be discouraged if they don’t immediately follow you back, though.  sometimes it’s difficult to get followers as a completely new blog because in my experience people tend to take a look at the writing of a person to see if they want to follow you back.  you just have to be a bit patient because starting completely new can be a bit tedious at first, since it does take some time to gain traction, but you’ll eventually get there.

another thing you can do to attract people is by putting out a promo.  an important thing to note here is that you won’t immediately show up in the search results right after making your blog.  honestly, it’s a stupid rule in my opinion but sometimes it can take a few days and a little bit of activity on your blog ( which you can get by reblogging, liking, or making your own posts ) before you start showing up and even then some of your posts just ... don’t.  tumblr can be pretty frustrating at times.  anyway, you can test if you show up in the search results yet ( by making a post, tagging it in some way, search that specific tag and sort by latest to see if you see your post ) and if you do it’s probably time to start promoting your blog.  there are a lot of free promo templates you can use or ( if you have the money ) you can pay commission blogs to make a promo graphic for you.  you can even just make a text post if you don’t have the time or resources to get a graphic.  just be sure to use the right tags.  important here is the fact that you cannot simply tag a post as ‘promo’ as it won’t show up in search results. instead, use things like ‘indie rp’, ‘rp promo’ or ‘fandom promo’.

now to get started with the whole writing thing you can reblog memes so that other people can send something in for you to reply to or make a starter call which your followers can like if they want you to make a starter specifically for them.  you can also just message people and see if they want to plot with you.  or post some random open starters everyone can reply to.  ( again, those can be tagged accordingly to gain people’s attention. )

―  STEP FOUR:  HAVE FUN

this may all seem a bit overwhelming at first but honestly the most important step is to just have fun.  roleplaying is a hobby and it should be treated as such.  so at the end of the day, do whatever you wanna do.  it’s your blog, so just be yourself and you’ll be fine.

[sneakybananabox]

Can u write a fic where poppy walks in on chloe and bea in the middle of a hookup?

I hope you enjoy. Thanks as always for the request. :)

Warnings: Cursing

It should have been me

The week was never-ending. The pressure of everything was resting on Bea’s shoulders and she was so close to being crushed. Her insomnia was spiking again and no matter how much she wanted to sleep it wasn’t happening. Some days she was so exhausted it felt like someone else was living her life. It was like being on autopilot most of the time. Being sat in her poli-sci class just added to the feeling of suffocation. She stared at the clock on her laptop, begging for it to go faster. Finally, the professor finished and released the class. Bea gathered her things messily into her book bag and ran off.

As she was walking out the room she bumped into the only person who likes to make her day worse.

As she was walking out of the room she bumped into the only person who likes to make her day worse.

“Still don’t know how to walk Farmsville?” Poppy looked Bea up and down. Normally she would be excited to fuck with Poppy but she felt like she was being crushed from within.

“Poppy as much as I love banter today is not the day.” Bea started to walk past Poppy, but she stepped in front of her.

“What is up your ass today Hughes? You look like you haven’t slept in two weeks.” 

“I haven’t been sleeping if you really want to know. Is there anything else you want from me, Poppy?”

“I know it must be bad because you used my regular name and not a nickname.” Bea was surprised she mentioned it. She thought Poppy hated when she would call her nicknames. Her heart fluttered a little. Poppy’s phone started to ring, she answered. 

“Yes, dad. I know I will be there soon. Wouldn’t want to keep the boring businessman waiting.” She hung up her phone. “Sorry Hughes, I gotta go. I uh– hope you feel better.” 

They parted ways and Bea continued her walk to her dorm. She was enjoying the feeling of the sun on her skin. Sometimes if she was lucky and the breeze was just right it would feel like being back home on the farm. She would lay on the hill just a short walk from the house. The grass was plush and it would be the best place to stargaze at night. Some days she felt out of place at Belvoire. She needed to get away even for a little.

Bea hopped on her motorcycle and went to a small bar she found on her own one day when exploring the city. She drove about forty-five minutes away, it was nice because there was usually no one who would recognize her there. She went up to the bar to get a drink.

“Hey, Bea. Want your usual?”

“Yea Tish. I appreciate it.” Bea made sure to tip heftily. Tish was always such a kind soul. There had been many times when she would give her advice. She was like a mom away from home. She never made Bea feel bad or put pressure on her. 

Bea went to the back in her favorite booth. She enjoyed a couple of drinks when the DJ started setting up karaoke. She loved watching the patrons sing after way too many drinks.

One of the regulars was poorly singing ‘Misery Business’ when someone caught her attention. It was a familiar platinum blonde. The bar was a simple dive bar so she was amazed that Chloe St.James was there. She looked like she was wallowing just as much as Bea was. Maybe it was the drinks in her system, but she decided to go over to her classmate's booth.

“Hey, Chloe.”

“Oh god can this day get worse? What are you doing here?”

“I thought this is where people come to escape Belvoire and be sad. Though I thought I was the only one who knew about this place.”

“I told my driver to pick a bar and this is where we ended up. Well, are you going to sit down Hughes?”

“Considering you hate my guts I didn’t think you would want me to.”

“I don’t necessarily hate you. I was just doing what I thought Poppy wanted. It’s sad, but the only reason I do half of the things I do is to please Poppy. When we started being friends things were so different. Now I am just a minion to her. Sorry for oversharing. Sometimes I feel so alone. I am supposed to be this tough person, but it just leaves me feeling empty.”

“I know what you mean. For different reasons of course, sometimes I just feel so suffocated. From the pressure from my parents and having to be on edge all the time because people are watching. I felt forced into my major by my parents. You don’t have to apologize Chloe. If I can help someone feel a little less lonely I will do it. Even though we used to be or are enemies.”

“I’m surprised, Hughes. You seem so together.”

“I am just good at hiding it.” Bea raised her glass. “A cheers to all the lonely hearts tonight St. James.” They clinked their glasses together and took long sips of their drinks.

Chloe and Bea talked for a while, they got to know each other on another level. Bea had a brilliant idea after they talked about the music they liked.

“Chloe I have an idea, but you can’t say no.”

“I don’t think I like the idea of this.”

Bea grabbed Chloe’s hand and took her to the stage where karaoke was going on. Chloe’s cheeks felt warm, but it wasn’t from the alcohol. Talking to Bea has really allowed her to see her for the first time. She knew everyone found Bea attractive. Yes, she was beautiful, but there was so much more to her. She was a kind soul who cared for people even if they weren’t friends. She did it out of the kindness of her heart.

The music played and Bea took the lead. Chloe looked out at all the eyes and froze. She usually dropped charisma, but something about this setting made her freeze. Chloe felt a hand on hers and she realized Bea had grabbed her hand. She turned to Chloe to look at her. Chloe felt safe with Bea. They looked into each other's eyes as the song played. The last note played and they were closer than the start of the song. Bea leaned in and soon Chloe closed the space between them. Their lips met slowly at first. After long kisses, they realized they were still on stage and went back to the booth. They got off the stage back to their booth not talking about what just happened. 

“Shit my phone is dead.” Chloe had no way to contact her driver to come back. 

“I can give you a ride back to Zeta.” Chloe thought about just walking to her Dad’s office, but it was way too dark now. She couldn’t remember her driver’s number if she wanted to, so calling off another phone was out of the question. Chloe tried to think of any other options but figured Hughes was her way home.

“Thanks, Hughes.”

Bea went back to her motorcycle and handed Chloe her helmet. 

“There is no way I am wearing this.”

“Well if anything were to happen to use it would help your head stay intact.”

Chloe quickly put on the helmet. Bea mounted the motorcycle and Chloe got on behind her. She held on to Bea rather loosely. “You are going to need to hold on tighter than that. I can’t go losing you in the middle of the drive. “ Chloe increased her pressure and could feel Bea’s defined muscles through her shirt.

Bea drove them to Zeta and walked Chloe to the door.

“You didn’t have to do this, Bea.”

“Of course I did. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. Who would I do karaoke with then?” Chloe couldn’t help but smile. Bea was a good person. She felt guilty for how hard she made it for her. 

“Bea I am sorry for everything I did at the start of the year.”

“Don’t worry about it. All water under the bridge.” Bea turned to leave. Chloe let her guard down and grabbed Bea’s hand. She pulled her into another kiss. Their short kisses turned longer and more passionate. She pulled Bea into Zeta and guided her into her room. Quietly closing the door, they continued their kiss. Bea took off her jacket and threw it onto the ground. Chloe helped her take off her shirt and kissed her neck. Bea helped Chloe out of her sweater. They landed on the bed with clothes thrown on the ground. They were so focused on each other that they didn’t hear the knock on the door. Bea continued to kiss Chloe’s neck, she couldn’t help but softly moan.

The door opened and it was like slow motion. Poppy looked at the combination of clothes on the ground and looked up and saw Bea on top of Chloe. Her throat felt thick and dry. Her best friend was hooking up with the girl she liked. She did everything she could to fight back the tears. She hurried to close the door and run out. Bea grabbed her clothes and threw them on and ran after Poppy. 

“Pops, hey are you okay?!” Her dad always taught her to show no emotion so people couldn’t use them against her. This time though she didn’t care. Her tears had already released before she could get to her room. Bea grabbed her hand to turn her around. 

“Don’t touch me, Farmsville!”  She snatched her hand back from Bea’s grasp.

“Pops talk to me.”

“What is there to talk about? You and my best friend are hooking up. Why her?”

“What?”

“I said,'' Why her? What does she have that I don’t?”

“Why does that matter, Poppy?”

“Because it should have been me! I thought maybe you felt the same way, but I was wrong.” Poppy couldn’t stand to be around Bea any longer. She ran back to her room and closed the door before Bea could even react to what she just heard. She did like Poppy but figured that the feelings would never be reciprocated. Now she lost her one chance. Now she could only wonder what could have been. She leaned her back against the wall and slid down as the words replayed in her head.

“It should have been me.”

[attllhak]

Adoption AU - Lullaby Reacts to Time’s Batman Level Adoption Bullshit

@tortilla-of-courage I offer you mercy. Also no one mentioned wanting to be tagged on the last story on this series so it’s just you for right now I guess.

Also, this fic is called ‘Aunt Lullaby/Uncle Sheik On Time’s Sudden Acquisition Of Kids’ in my docs, but I’ve been using the ‘Batman-Level Adoption Bullshit’ for so long that this is the title now.

Also! Some of the boys have some heavy topics to their backstories (Wars comes to mind as an example), so let me know if I need to tag this with certain warnings or stuff. Nothing is actually shown, but I figured I’d just put that out there.

-----------------

Lullaby, who was still just Zelda then, had been very excited when Time, then just Link, had called her to tell her that Malon was pregnant.

She had gotten the call first, as Link had found it important that she knew before anyone else. After everything else in his life, he said, he wanted the person who he knew would always be there for him to know first, and that he was going to be making a few other calls later that day.

Link had never had an easy life. When his father died when he was 10, he’d ended up devastated. Zelda and her Aunt Impa had found him hiding in an alley a few days after, once he’d run away from the social workers. His sister Navi had been with him, and the two were sorting through the very few bits of snack food they’d had. Link’s father had been a foster parent for a lot of strays, orphans, or abused kids needing another place to stay. Link had fallen into the orphan category, and so the social workers had planned to cycle him back into the system. He’d lost contact with his sister Saria, whom he still hadn’t found out how to make contact with again, and so all he had was Navi. Impa had taken them both in on the spot, much to the annoyance of Zelda’s father initially, but the two grew on him. Navi went missing when Link and Zelda had been 17, after an issue with a man who really had wanted to see them both dead. Link hadn’t given up hope yet, but with every passing year it looked worse and worse for her to be okay.

Zelda had known Malon from day one, and had loved Link’s wife and was so happy to see him find that bit of happiness. The one thing she knew he wanted more than anything else was to have a solid, stable family of his own.

The pregnancy was a wonderful bit of news, and she couldn’t be happier for her brother.

She had spent some time over at their house, her then-girlfriend Ruto coming as well, helping Malon with some of the housework and such since she wasn’t supposed to be doing too much of the ranch work while pregnant.

She had arrived at the hospital less than thirty minutes after she got the call that Malon was in labor, and spent the time pacing in the hall, then supporting Link when he got kicked out after panicking too much. Apparently Malon had enough of him.

She could relate.

After Link had his whole ‘we made a whole baby person’ moment where his brain short-circuited after he was handed his son, the next person who got to hold him was Zelda. A chubby baby, who slept almost the whole time. He had his mother’s nose, thank Hylia.

Zelda saw him open his eyes only once that day, and she could swear she saw in his cobalt-silver eyes that same spark in his father’s eye. Singular, since Link only had the one.

Zelda’s family had a long tradition of naming their kids after family members. Her name was her grandmother’s and her great-grandmother’s, so on so forth. Her father had been pressing to pick a family name the entire pregnancy. Her mother had kept telling him to back off a little. Fortunately, Malon’s family also had a set of passed down names, hers being one of them. So the idea of naming the child after family wasn’t a big deal for her, even if it was a different set of names.

However, there was one thing to take into account here, and that was Link’s family.

No one knew what the naming traditions in his family were, he didn’t even know his birth parent’s names. But that didn’t change the desire to find a way to work them in too.

There was only one name from Link’s family that anyone knew.

The baby was named Link.

Zelda’s father stopped complaining a week later. Her mother was very clear about it.

At Zelda and Ruto’s wedding seven years later, Link Jr. was the ring bearer.

Junior stopped being his nickname when he was thirteen.

(---)

Zelda got a call from Link Sr. about a day after it happened with a simple request.

“Who was in charge of the paperwork when your family adopted me?”

Zelda blinked once, then twice. “Come again?”

“The lawyer who arranged for my adoption, who was that?” Link asked again.

“Why?” Zelda asked, her wife leaning around the doorframe to give her a concerned look. Zelda shot her a thumbs up.

A heavy sigh came from the other end of the phone. “I think I’ve acquired another son,”

Zelda came over.

This new nephew of hers, apparently, was a sweet boy. A series of scars littered his entire left side, burn and explosive damage if she were to guess, and he had no idea how he got them. He had amnesia. The one thing he did know was his name.

His name was Link.

Zelda had to take a minute. She was trying very hard not to laugh. This was exactly the kind of luck her brother had.

“Zelda, stop mocking me, this wasn’t my call,” Link whined, though he’d never say it was a whine.

“Link, you have to see the humour here,” she gasped, waving at the two boys in the living room where Jr. was trying to show Scars how to use a lasso. This was Zelda’s idea, but she wasn’t taking responsibility for it.

Link just sighed heavily. “Link found him on the street. Malon looked into it and his parents died in a car crash a year ago, he has nowhere to go. We’ve agreed to let him stay, you understand that,”

Zelda nodded, sobering up some. “Yeah, I get that, kinda. The lawyer we hired was named Rauru, Mom should have his contact information still, you should call her,”

Link sighed, relieved. “Thank you,”

“Of course, just don’t make it a habit,”

(---)

The first inclination this would be a habit was a year later.

Wild, the younger of his sons, was in the same class as another boy named Link. This boy had lived with his uncle his whole life, and got the call his uncle died when at school. Sheik was about ready to punch someone for doing that to the boy, and just before christmas no less.

Wild brought him home, insisting he could stay at least for the holidays. The agreement wasn’t even a question, there was no way he was going to be forced to spend a holiday at an orphanage.

When Sheik and Ruto showed up on christmas day, not that their family cared much for christmas but they were all off anyways, the newest Link had been named Legend.

He was a little more shy than the others, understandably, and a little snappish.

Not a bad kid, just one grieving and in need of family. That was something their family had never hesitated to provide.

Sheik’s mother teaching him how to spin a butterfly knife was probably not the wisest decision, but considering Rottla heard a therapist say “Your kids are traumatized, they need to feel safe again,” and decided to sign them up for every martial arts she could, well, it should have been a sign that she wasn’t the best in that regard. Time, Link Sr., had made it very clear he felt Sheik took after her. Sheik had no idea what his brother was talking about.

Legend didn’t leave after that. One call to Rauru, and Legend was a permanent member of the family.

Sheik took great pride in being the favorite Uncle of Legend’s, after his late guardian of course. He pointedly ignored that he was the only Uncle, and only part-time.

Time could suck it.

(---)

Lullaby, since so many of her nephews’ friends were named Zelda apparently, received a call at five am.

True, she knew her brother and his wife woke up at sunrise to do yard work and such, but usually they were kind enough to let her sleep in.

Not so this morning.

“Wha?” She mumbled into the phone, trying, and failing, to not wake her wife.

“Zelda,” came Malon’s clipped tone through the receiver, “do you know about a missing person’s case for one Jerimiah Smith?”

Zelda blinked heavily, and had to convince herself not to go back to sleep. Who, why did Malon care? It was five am, the sun wasn’t even up yet.

“Why?” She asked to buy time, still working on a quarter of thought. Ruto rolled over and held her. Not helping, Ruto.

“I have a Link Smith in my barn claiming that his grandfather went missing, and he’s run away from a temporary foster home,” Malon explained, and okay that was worth waking up for.

Lullaby sat up, pushing Ruto’s arm from her waist to her lap, causing her wife to grumble, and turned on the lamp, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. “Okay, okay pause. Pause and back up,” she half-swallowed a yawn, squinting into her bedroom. “What is going on?”

“I got up to do some work, since Link is still asleep, and I came into the barn to find a boy asleep in the hay, here you are,” her voice dropped away from the receiver, likely talking to the boy in question, then came back. “So I found a boy in the hay, and I woke him up. He says his name is Link Smith, and he was living with his grandfather since his father was overseas in the military. His father wasn’t home enough to care for him, so his grandfather had sole custody after his mother died or something, there was a lot of tears at this part. Anyways, his grandfather went missing a week ago, and he’s been through three foster homes and none of them were very accepting of, he apparently has a ‘mental thing’ that he’s dealing with. I was wondering if you could confirm his story?”

Lullaby leaned over the bed, grumbling, and grabbed her laptop, Ruto giving up on getting her back to bed and sliding up the headboard with her to drape over her shoulders while she pulled up Firefox. “Hold on,” she told her sister in law, plugging the name into Google. Jeremiah Smith, went missing a week ago, blah blah blah, oh there we go.

Link Smith, grandson of Jerimiah Smith, left in limbo after his grandfather’s disappearance. Oh, that was interesting. According to this article, which most certainly was breaking some privacy laws and if Link Smith was staying it would be coming down, the boy had multiple personality disorder.

“Yeah, he’s telling the truth,” Lullaby said, switching the phone to her other ear so Ruto could nuzzle up better without bumping it. “Also, I found his weird ‘mental thing’. According to this article, which I’m pretty sure isn’t legal, he’s got dissociative identity disorder,”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Ruto mumbled, still mostly asleep on her shoulder.

“No, not really. He’s actually more likely to be in danger than a danger,” she twisted to kiss her wife’s head, then went back to Malon. “He probably really needs someone who’ll be supportive enough through all this, both the disappearance and his condition. DID isn’t something easy to live with, I can see him having some issues with foster parents,” Lullaby had never been so glad that she got bored one day and decided to look it up after she heard people talk about it so negatively. You never know when information like that would be useful.

“He’s fine to take in?” Malon whispered after a moment. “I just, the other boys,”

“Will need to be patient, but unless one of his alters is particularly bad for dealing with threats, perceived or otherwise, in an unkind way then he’s fine and safe to be around. I’d ask him about that, but don’t force him to admit anything that can be bad for him, but I don’t see any more risk than taking in Wild or Legend,”

Malon sighed on the other end of the line. “Alright, I’ll bring him in and wake up Link, so he can call Rauru about all this while I sit with him and try and get him to relax,”

“Wonderful, I’ll call the office and see about what I can do about this article then. And for the record, if you ever call me at asscrack of dawn o’clock in the morning again, then next time we meet I’m clocking you,”

Malon had the nerve to laugh.

Four, as he’d been nicknamed by the time Lullaby and Ruto showed up to meet him, was a fascinating person. Green, the host of his system, was a brave, if occasionally airheaded, boy who wanted to try everything, and had been fascinated by his grandfather’s old-timey forge. Time had plans to make one in the yard for him. Red, the emotional and spiritual protector of the system, was empathetic and sweet and compassionate. No one had a bad word to say about Red. Vio, short for Violet, was the gatekeeper for the system and kept the four of them working on the same page. Bright and clever boy, his nose stuck in a book most of the time and willing to offer up the most random and yet useful information. Blue, the physical protector, was a little gruff and definitely someone you just got used to, but he cared deeply about his ‘brothers’ as they called each other, and the external brothers he acquired grew on him quickly enough too. It was a bit of a fight to get custody of him, but Rauru was the best there was, so it was only a week or two before the paperwork was going through for him.

Lullaby had a feeling this wasn’t the end by a long shot, and prayed that Hylia would be merciful about granting Time’s wish for a family.

She was going a little overboard.

(---)

Sheik wasn’t surprised in the least at the newest addition when he walked in the one day. No, mostly he was just confused as to why he hadn’t gotten a phone call before he got there.

Usually there was a phone call.

He was very upset by the way the boy looked, however.

This new addition, Warriors as he’d learn later that Time acquired yet another Link, was curled up in the corner of the couch with his scarf wrapped around him like a blanket, clearly trying not to be seen. Voices floated out of the kitchen, and Sheik picked up that Twilight brought him home, and was lobbying for a new brother.

Ah, that’s why there was no phone call.

Ruto went to investigate the conversation, so Sheik decided to introduce himself to his newest nephew.

Upon closer inspection, the boy looked about Twilight’s age, and had a bruise on his temple, maybe a day or two old now. Looking closer saw a few more on the left side of the boy’s face. Someone hit him, with purpose.

Sheik sat down next to him and said nothing, waiting for him to make the first move. Eventually, he poked his head out of his scarf.

“Hello,” Sheik offered once it became clear he wouldn’t be saying anything.

“Hullo,” he mumbled into the fabric, glancing away and back at his feet.

“My name is Sheik,” Sheik offered lightly. “Time is my brother,”

The boy looked up, eying him. “Twilight is your nephew?”

“Yes, he is,” Sheik nodded, smiling at him. “You’re a friend of his?”

The boy shrugged. “Kinda,” a beat of silence passed, then he shifted around. “He said I’d be safe here,”

“You will be,” Sheik agreed, trying to be comforting. “I can assure you of that,”

He hummed and snuggled back into his scarf.

“May I, if this isn’t overstepping, can I ask why you need somewhere to be safe?” Sheik asked after a moment.

He tensed up, eyes darting to him and at the doorway, and then back, wide eyes a little panicked.

Sheik was just about to apologize when the boy spoke.

“I ran away from home,” he admitted, looking away. “My uh, my parents aren’t, great people. I can’t go back, so I need somewhere else to go. Twi said I could be safe here, that his parents would fight for me,”

“They will,” Sheik said with enough conviction it almost startled him. “I know my brother, and he can’t turn away from someone in need, and his wife is the most strong willed woman I’ve ever met. You won’t find another pair of people more willing to go to war for you than them.”

He blinked at Sheik, then nodded, relaxing a little. “And, if my parents come for me?”

Sheik grinned. “My family is very rich, and we have a small army of very good lawyers. You won’t be going back there, I assure you,”

He smiled, and leaned over towards Sheik a little. “I’m Link,”

Of course you are, Sheik thought. He held out an arm for ‘Link’ to lean into, not getting attached to the name since it would be changing. The boy leaned into his side easily, deflating against him with a sigh. He looked so tired.

“Link,” Sheik asked carefully, watching his words. “Can I ask about the bruises on your face?”

The boy blinked up at him, biting his lip.

“They uh, my dad did that,” he admitted in a small voice, curling into Sheik’s side, and the sheikah pulled him in close to his side, hoping to provide the comfort Link was seeking. “Right before I left. I packed up and went through the window. My twin sister is still there, and I’m a little worried about her, but I can’t go back again. I, he,” he paused, sucking in a breath. Sheik rubbed his arm and side, trying to help him calm down, ignoring the tears on his shirt.

“I thought he was going to kill me,” Link finally admitted in a small, scared voice.

Sheik knew he never had very many parental instincts, and he and Ruto agreed no kids before they even got engaged, but for the first time ever Sheik felt that flare that Time and Malon described everytime something threatened their kids. It was then and there Sheik decided this boy would be part of their family, whether Time was the one who took him in or not. No kid should have to say that and mean it. No kid should be scared their parent was going to kill them.

Oh, the lawyers Sheik was planning on bringing down on whoever these assholes were would be many.

Time took the boy in, as Sheik predicted (thankfully), and sure enough the immediate support was immense. His parents never even put out a missing persons report. Sheik added child negligence to his list of growing charges to lay out.

Two months after Warriors moved in, he got a call from his sister. She got out and was safe now, and wanted to be sure he was as well. This made him very relieved. They met up once or twice, and seemed to be getting back to normal.

Two weeks later, Legend and Wild got suspended distracting Warriors’ parents so Twilight could sneak him out the back of the school. Four didn’t get suspended, but only because when Vio messed with the security cameras to cover up the escape he didn’t get caught. Time took all three out for ice-cream and junk food when he picked them up.

Lullaby saw an opportunity and took it without hesitation. Lawyers were called and organized, and without much wait there was an order for both of them to appear in court on child abuse and negligence charges. The kidnapping charge laid against them in retaliation was almost laughable.

A few weeks later, Time and Malon had full custody of Warriors pending a proper criminal trial for full punishment of his parents, at which time Linkle, Warriors’ twin sister, planned to testify as well. If they couldn’t get things settled before Warriors turned 18, then they planned to push through an adult adoption the day he did. A birthday present, Time had said. Lullaby laughed.

(---)

Sky was probably the most skittish of Time’s sons.

Lullaby wasn’t sure entirely why he was so skittish, but he was. He reminded her of a bird, or a rodent, or a cat who really, really didn’t want to interact with new people.

She had been briefed before she visited on Sky’s background. His social worker had been having trouble setting him up with a home where he’d stay for longer than a week or so, and in a last ditch effort had asked Time and Malon, with their long track record of housing troubled and unhousable youths, if they could take one more. They agreed.

Sky apparently had a friend, a bit of a troublemaker if Lullaby guessed correctly, who had gotten the two arrested. Time mentioned the event had Sky concerned about being ‘too much trouble’ and that ‘they’d get rid of him too’ or something. Time said this was ridiculous, as Sky caused him the least amount of trouble, but the boy was concerned about being thrown away again. He apparently had a few self-worth issues.

Lullaby found him on the back porch talking to the birds. Not in any human language, mind you, and Lullaby spoke many, but cooing and chirping back at them. He seemed very happy and at ease like that, singing at the birds.

“Do you mind if I join you?” She asked in a whisper during a pause in the conversation.

Sky jumped, eyes wide, and he squirmed a little when he saw her. “Uh, sure, I guess,”

She sat on the other end of the bench next to him, and calmly went back to watching the birds, and him interacting with them. He seemed much more at ease here than he did with people.

“Did you need something?” He asked, after a while, letting a blue jay grab a peanut from his hand.

“Not specifically,” she shook her head. “I had wanted to meet you, but nothing else,”

He blinked at her a little dumbly.

“Why would you want to meet me?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” She asked back, not sure what he was trying to say.

“Well, I mean, I’m not exactly special. And, it’s not like I’m staying,”

“I think you’re pretty special, most people can’t get birds to land on their hands like that,” Lullaby said gently, not liking how he spoke about himself. “And why would you think you aren’t staying?”

“I never stay,” he admitted, turning his eyes back to the birds, frowning. “No one ever considers me worth the effort,”

“You are very much worth the effort,” Lullaby countered, trying her best to keep her face soft instead of pinching up. “Trust me, however much effort you are, it is nowhere near the level of your brothers. Time wouldn’t have taken you in if he didn’t want you,”

“He’s just doing Impa a favour,” he said glumly, offering up more birdseed to the birds. “I won’t be staying forever,”

“I’m sure my brother has explained why that’s bullshit,” Lullaby said bluntly.

“But, I got arrested,” he mumbled.

“So have three of your brothers,” Lullaby pointed out. “Regularly. For much worse things. I promise you, that is not an issue,”

“But,”

“If you are going to say something bad about yourself again then I’m telling you right now I’m not going to listen to it,” Lullaby cut him off. “Time has told me a lot about you, and all of it is how much he loves you,”

“Really?” Sky looked up at her.

“You cause him the least amount of headaches of all his sons,” Lullaby smiled. “He adores you,”

Sky turned away, clearly trying to think that over.

“How about you tell me more about the things you enjoy doing,” Lullaby suggested.

“Huh?” Sky asked, turning back to her.

“I’d like to get to know more about what makes my nephew happy,” she smiled.

“Why?”

“Well, I’d be a bad aunt if I didn’t, especially since you’ll be sticking around,”

Sky looked like he didn’t believe her, but told her about his woodcarving anyways.

Lullaby was happy that as time went on Sky became less skittish and self-deprecating. He was a sweet kid, and as he got more comfortable and confident more of his true colours started showing through.

She felt a bit bad for Time, though. Apparently he was as prone to chaos as his brothers, he was just more subtle about it.

Time brought it on himself though. He should have known this when he adopted six boys.

(---)

The call about the next son had Lullaby’s head hitting her kitchen table, groaning loudly even when Ruto came to check on her.

Wild found a boy in the woods and they’d decided to keep him.

This was getting to be just a bit too much.

When Sheik and Ruto got to meet the boy, they were a bit taken aback. They had expected another Wild.

What they got was a quiet boy who mostly kept to himself. He was a bit shy, but he seemed to open up a bit more around Wild and, amusingly, Legend. He was a bit jumpy, but considering they had no idea how long he was in the woods that was expected.

What was surprising them most was that he did actually have a mother, who loved him very much, but who was very sick and so wasn’t able to actually take care of him, thus the wandering in the woods. His mother had been very worried, but physically unable to look. She had asked family to check but they gave up pretty quickly.

In light of her family being horrible for taking care of her son, and not knowing if she’d survive her illness, she asked Malon and Time if they could take care of her son for her since she clearly couldn’t trust her relatives and the boy’s father had abandoned them the moment she decided to keep him.

Time and Malon had taken one look at the boy and their sons, and agreed. They worked out an arrangement to keep the boy’s mother in the loop, and then they called Rauru. After which Time called his sibling.

This boy’s name was also Link. Sheik did not feel bad about laughing. Really, his brother had the weirdest luck.

They, for some reason, decided his nickname would be Hyrule. Why they decided to name him after the country, Sheik didn’t know. Apparently it was the only nickname he liked.

He had trouble reading, but he liked learning, especially if he could use what he learned to help people.

He fit right in, which made Sheik wonder exactly when his brother was going to stop adopting. He hoped it was before the ranch house ran out of room.

(---)

Eight. He stopped at eight.

Which was still too many, in Sheik’s opinion, but whatever.

The newest hellraiser at least didn’t come from the streets like almost all of the others.

This Link (because yes, his name was Link too) had recently lost his parents and his grandmother couldn’t financially support both him and his sister. So Time and Malon agreed to take care of him for her. The rest of their sons all acquired a grandma as well, it seemed.

They nicknamed him Wind, and he immediately latched onto his older brothers and started giving his new parents headaches.

When Lullaby and Ruto showed up next, she felt no sympathy for her brother. He brought this on himself.

She was more than a little pissed off when the brat stole her wallet though. Damn thief.

Time assured her that they’d talk to him about it. Lullaby wasn’t sure that’d help.

But, she reasoned, despite the chaos, Time was happy. Practically giddy. He lit up whenever he spoke about his sons, and he clearly loved them dearly.

Hylia had granted his wish for a family. She maybe went a bit overboard, but as long as Time was happy, so was Lullaby.

(---)

She wasn’t commenting on the ninth kid. She refused.

At least his name wasn’t ‘Link’.