#to the victor goes the spoils yknow

[barbiepappa]

"A long time ago now."

[dr-viles-laboratory]

HI :D

I know exactly nothing abt Ted or where he’s from !! Please use this ask as a place to completely infodump if you want!!

Hope you’re doing well!! <333

HI EZRA HIIIIII!!!!! HI HI HI HI :]!!!!!!! HEHEHE THANK YOU FOR ASKING

Ted is actually an OC of mine!!!! I love custom-making boyfriends for myself. Did you know you can do that? It's crazy they just let you do that!!! Without a license or anything!!!!! Best decision I've ever made tbh

He's a superhero oc of mine I use with a couple friends (can't go too into it, it's related to a WIP one friend is gonna publish so. Yknow. But ted was my creation so I can talk about him!!!! :]) and I am MADLY in love with him hehehe. He started as a pun and then evolved into my main f/o JDGSHDHAHSJS

He's a bear (body type) and he's also a supervillain named Grizzly and his powers involve him turning into a massive kaiju bear!!! He's a southern guy from the fictional town of Middlof, Nohweir (we're very funny in the gc) with a MASSIVE family and I love him I love him you don't understand I love him SO much he's so stupid and his brain is so very empty but that's okay because he needed more room for his big ol heart!!!!!!!

He turns into a kaiju when he gets angry, hulk-style, but he HAS to kaiju at least once a month, a little like a werewolf. He can also turn into a smaller, more mellowed out bear form (but still the size of a fucking grizzly bear) at will :]

He has a pet cat named Missus Muffins he spoils the hell out of and he works construction most of the time (consistent work in a city with an exceptionally high Super population) but he also bounces at Pops, a supervillain-exclusive bar under a diner!!!

His meeting with my s/I Victor Stein is pretty funny actually. He King Kong-s around the city when he goes kaiju, but he tries to plan in advance so no one actually gets hurt. So he, in all his himbo intelligence, nabbed Victor off the street, asked if he could kidnap him later, and victor had a Homo Moment and said yes and it went from there :]

As Grizzly he's also henchman to Dr. Vile, Victor's supervillain identity!!!!! He didn't realize they were the same person at first, twas quite the conversation JDHSHDHSHDHSHD

ANYWAYS YEAH that's him!!!!! Not everything obviously, I have a whole yandere au a lot more about him :]!!!! He's my specialest man and i love him and I'm kissing him on the lips :]

Also his vc is Gregg Allman (Whipping Post by the Allman Brothers Band) (I have a whole playlist for him if you want it!!!!!!)

[mommalosthermind]

@kisnin, I’m not sure what I’ve been posting to make you think that, but I’ll take it as a compliment lmao

That being said though, what you’re describing is classism, with a heavy western-world bias. Most of the weapons listed here—which you’re right, *are* typically shown as ‘inferior’ weaponry were used by the poor, the peasantry… normal folks who were Not The Landed Lords of Europe. Or, yeah, just not European at all. It sucks, and it’s wrong, because a fighter is a fighter is a fighter. Every style of weapon has advantages and disadvantages, and practice is what matters most there.

The point of the trope is typically to make the main character and their Approved Weapon seem more righteous and intelligent. A whole lotta ‘our brave knights vs. their barbaric warriors’, yknow?

It’s a funky thing to run across, since it accidentally hamstrings characters in the process. Environmental weaponry lends itself to a wider world and more interesting characters. The ‘proper weapon’ is whatever the hell is at hand that does the job.

But when it comes to actual history, well. Racism. To the victor goes the spoils, including the right to mass produce history books that cast yourself in a grand light and everyone else as in need of your civilizing influence.

Funnily enough, if you’re interested in a series where the main protagonist uses an “inferior” weapon and soundly kicks people’s ass with it, have you tried The Protector of the Small by Tamora Pierce? It follows Keladry (Kel), a fantasy European girl who spent her formative years in Fake Japan and learned to use a glaive instead of a sword. Her European teachers are extremely displeased with her ‘barbaric’ choice of weapon despite her proficiency. Y’know. Because racism.

"Simple" does not mean "crappy".

Just cause you have a sword and I a club, does not mean I'm not capable of beating the living SHIT out of you.

This kinda a callout to people who write about improvised weapons/simple weapons in a negative light.

Good example: Pitchfork. It's a farm tool and it has some SHARP AS FUCK points to it. In steady hands, it can be an excellent weapon. You can use it as a spear/short pike. You can whack people with it cause it's got good weight. You can even give someone the catclaw treatment XXL with the tines by slashing. You can catch weapons in it and spin them out of an opponents hands.

Another example: javelin. They're simple to make but are devastating. You will rarely survive a clean hit from any sort of throwing spear.

Examples continued: sticks and rocks. Never underestimate the effectiveness of beating someone over the head with a stick or slamming a rock into their chest. Even good armor will have issues against shear concussion force. Or, employ the rock via sling. Or just drop it on them from high up.

Another thing to mention is bronze weapons. Bronze is in many ways an excellent material. While it doesn't have the hardness of iron or steel, it's still capable of fucking someone up. Bronze can also, despite popular opinion, be hardened. This is done by working the material with a hammer, causing the crystalline structure to compress, short explanation. While this still doesn't have the same hardness of hardened iron or steel, it dramatically increases the durability of the piece.

Whatsmore, many writers, historians, and such have a very "civilocentric" (which is a word I pulled out of my ass, but I will define as... uh. I need a language expert @mommalosthermind, I apologize for name dropping but you seem to have a grasp of this based on your blog) view of history, and often weapons.

IE: a sword (or other object) has to be metal.

It don't. There are WORLDS of cultures (not just non-western ones, though they are really easy to use. I'd draw your attention to the celts and Germans but that would mean I'd have to get out my notes from HS and extended education so well skip that.) WHERE SWORDS ARE NOT METAL. Take a trip down to the Kiwiville Before the Tommies (New Zealand, and brevities sake Polynesia) and you'll find any manner of examples in many different materials ranging from the possibly impractical (shark tooth) to the downright terrifying (sharpened fucking WOOD) that sit in the category of a sword.

Or we could take a trip across the pacific (or just far south for me) to Mexico, where the Aztecs and other cultures used obsidian blades glued to wooden paddles to achieve an effect something between a sawblade, cleaver, and club. Said weapons were VERY effective, and in some cases may have even destroyed European swords in action.

In similar style there's also evidence that atleast one person naped some flint into a blade shape, and the glued it to some backing. They then probably became the single most stabby motherfucker on the block (flint wounds are fucking terrifying, cause they often come with a serrations status effect).

To conclude this rant.

There is an entire wide world of THINGS to use. ANYTHING is a narrativly possible and reasonable weapon.