#to the moon and to saturn chapter one

[astrocafecoffee]

Solar return observation ☀️

✨ For entertainment purposes only, enjoy ✨

🌿 My masterlist

Let's go !!

🧡 sun in the 8th house means there can be a heightened interest in the occult, astrology, spirituality or the hidden aspects of life. You might find yourself drawn to exploring the mysteries of existence, delving into psychological or esoteric studies.

🧡 Saturn in 11th house means you may find that some friendships are tested, leading to the realisation of which connections are truly meaningful and worth maintaining.

🧡 Moon in the 12th house means you might feel a desire to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of daily life to spend more time alone. this can be beneficial for introspection and self discovery but be mindful of not becoming too isolated.

🧡 part of fortune in 5th house - if you are involved in any form of performance or entertainment such as acting, dancing or public speaking this can be a highly successful and rewarding year.

🧡 Uranus in the 1st house means others may see you as exciting ,dynamic and unpredictable. your unique qualities and originality can attract attention and admiration.

🧡 Groom conjunct Vertex- you may meet your fs that year.

🧡 Boda conjunct sun - either you will get married or engaged.

🧡 Juno in 7th house means you might have a clear vision of what you want in a partner and what you expect from a relationship.

🧡 if you have North node in 12th house then pay close attention to your dreams and intuitive insights as they can provide valuable guidance and messages from your subconscious.

🧡 Taurus rising means you may find yourself drawn to comfort and luxury more than usual.

🧡 Venus in 10th house means others perceive you as charming ,attractive and likable.

🧡 Mars in 4th house may signify conflicts with family members.

🧡 Capricorn mc means you are likely to prioritize long term planning and stability in your career. you may take steps to secure your future whether through investments ,career advancements or building a solid professional network.

🧡 if you have Vertex in your 6th house then it's a time to pay attention to your physical well-being and perhaps make positive changes to your health routines.

🧡 Jupiter in 2nd house can inspire a spirit of generosity and philanthropy. you may feel inclined to share your wealth or resources with others contributing to charitable causes or supporting those in need.

🧡 Groom conjunct POF - meeting with your significant other/ spouse.

🧡 Sagittarius stellium - frequent travels.

🧡 if you are married and want a baby and if you have 5th house stellium, then you can expect your pregnancy that year. Congratulations 🎉

🧡 Ceres in 5th house also a indicator of being pregnant.

🧡 Saturn in 4th house - family problems can occur.

🧡 Pluto in 7th house - issues of power and control may become prominent in your relationships Both in romantic and platonic.

🧡 Uranus in 10th house - sudden changes or unexpected developments in your career.

🧡 leo rising means this year you may find yourself drawn to activities or situations that allow you to shine and Captivate others with your enthusiasm and charm.

🧡 sun conjunct juno means your relationships may become more visible or influential in your public or professional life during this period.

🧡Moon in 2nd house suggests emotional support or financial contributions from family members or closed loved ones.

🧡 Jupiter in 12th house - you may be drawn to meditation, dream analysis, or psychological studies that help you understand hidden aspects of your psyche and spiritual self.

🧡1st house stellium can indicate a fresh start or a new chapter of your life., Can influence your physical appearance too.

🧡moon in 5th house means a focus on nurturing your inner child.

🧡 Uranus in 5th house can indicate unexpected romantic connections or surprises in relationships.

🧡north node in 1st house indicates a sense of restlessness and a desire for new experiences.

🧡 Jupiter in 7th house - marriage can occur.

🧡 Chiron in the 10th house means that the year will bring a focus on healing and mentorship in your career and public image.

🧡 Venus conjunct saturn means fear of loss and abandonment in romantic relationships.

🧡 Fama conjunct ascendent/ in 1st house/ 11th house / 10th house means gaining fame / recognition/ reputation that year.

🧡 if fama it's in 7th house then your relationship may bring fame.

🧡 Webb (3041) conjunct groom meaning gaining fame with your partner in social media.

Ends here.....

✨ solar return indicators

Thanks for reading.

- Piko ✨

[bluismie]

Re-imagining one of my favorite moments from “And like the cycle of the year, we begin again” by katherynefromphilly

Chapter 21 “Slowly, silently, now the moon”

Arthur sat up on his cot, eyes wide in the night, watching each of the spheres pass overhead. Small rings danced around Saturn. Patterns of swirls decorated Jupiter.

“Amazing,” Arthur breathed, at the heartbreakingly beautiful magic above.

Like the meadow, he thought. Like the strawberries and the butterflies and the flowers. All that beauty. Pouring from Merlin’s hands.

[spiritualitywithtally]

astro observations (5/07/23)

🌚 i’ve heard multiple cancer moon men say that they don’t believe in marriage or they don’t want to be married because they don’t feel like laws around marriage/divorce are really unfair to men.

🌚 aries placements literally love physical touch & consider that to be their main love language.

🌚 having gemini in your 5th or 7th house or a gemini venus means you’ll definitely be involved in love triangles in your life. there could be multiple ones throughout your life or maybe just one that ends up being very significant. this also applies to solar returns. if you have any of these placements in your SR chart, you may experience a love triangle that year

🌚 aquarius suns .. idk man. asking these people one question will take you on a whole roller coaster ride. you ever heard that tiktok sound that’s like “wtf are we talking about now? so many levels were skipped. so many chapters were tore out of the book.” that’s exactly how tf i feeel talking to them 💀. i’m sure this applies to aquarius mercuries too.

🌚 i feel like if you have saturn in the 5th house, you’re always trying to be more disciplined in the places you overindulge. if you’re an over spender, you try to be more disciplined with that. if you’re quick to get attached, you try to be more disciplined in love. and so on & so forth. & you can end up being veryyy hard on yourself if you slip up at all.

🌚 9th house at 12° might indicate having a spiritual awakening while in college or during the traditional college years (ages 18-22).

🌚 aries 4th house ppl : family game nights might get very heated. everyone in your family is sooo competitive. which is funny because you might end up being the opposite (libra 10th house). competitive energy may make you uncomfortable.

🌚 i’ve noticed that a lot of cancer placements love to travel & would also love to move far away/off the grid. i think it’s because cancer rules the home & jupiter (traveling) is exalted there

🌚 cancer risings are straight up passionate about making money. they take their stability very seriously & can feel depressed if they don’t have money. it’s because of leo being in their 2nd house

🌚 if you’re attracted to women , your moon & 4th house sign might be the energy you’re attracted to the most in a woman

thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think. & check out my new synastry observations post as well <3

[nouvxllev]

the girl across your street || p5 (FINAL)

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: You spent half of your life waiting for the right person to just step into your life and take over your heart by storm, someone who would think of you when they see a shooting star, someone who'd paint canvases of your face so the world would know who considered you greater than the Mona Lisa, someone who cherished you oh so dearly. Now, you can happily say with all your heart, you found her.

Words: 4.4k

Warnings: restating my statement on the previous chapter, this is the longest chapter of all lol

a/n: got a lovely suggestion from @ajortga (check out their stories btw, theyre amazing!) and an anon request for this part! i appreciate them and i wrote it to the best of my abilities.

part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || masterlist.

'...I still got love for you

Your braids like a pattern

Love you to the moon and to Saturn

Passed down like folk songs

The love lasts so long...'

"There's my favorite actress of all time, Jenna goddamn Ortega!"

You shouted with your arms out, ready for a hug, while running over to Jenna in the freezing cold. She was clad in a puffy hoodie and comfortable jogging pants, and she had her beanie on, wrapped around her head along with her own pair of headphones, preparing for the impact of your body-crushing hug.

"Y/n, y/n! No, slow down!" she screamed before toppling down to the snowy ground along with you, your arms wrapped around hers as you laughed together in harmony.

She sat up, your body going in rhythm with hers, "You really love that line, don't you?" She chuckled before cupping your cheeks with her hands. She muttered a quiet sorry, noticing how you flinched at the cold touch.

"Hey, you've finally accomplished your goal. You deserve it, Jenna." You loved saying her name, no amount of terms of endearment could ever beat the love and devotion you had for it.

Jenna looked at you, a smile covering her face as her dimples took over and her freckles became more visible to you, a sense of hopeless romance reflected in both of your eyes before pulling you in with her hands and planting her lips against yours.

It hasn't been one day since you last kissed her and oh how you missed the taste of her lips on yours. It's like your problems melted away by her scent and the taste of her lipbalm.

Before you knew it, you and Jenna had become the IT couple of the year. It even surprised you how the world knew the both of you were dating in the first place considering how Jenna never really posts on social media about her personal life and neither do you. But with how paparazzis work and how Jennas fans work harder than the devil, you can see now why your relationship with Jenna got blasted online.

Now, the two of you were the global love team, featured in commercials, advertisements for certain brands, and even you trying a hand at acting. You occasionally made appearances as Jenna's love interest in a show, though your role was more of a background character, the audience always loved seeing you together with Jenna.

In each film you directed, Jenna was sure to be in it, and she always became the character you couldn't bear to kill off even with a gun to your head.

Jenna always assured you that it was perfectly fine if her character was killed off since she's an amazing actress who pulls all her stunts so flawlessly, but watching her act getting shot in the head, stabbed, or possibly tortured in the horror movies you were set to direct? Just right in front of you? Hell, you'd rather do that to yourself with no pay.

But of course, like Jenna always ranted to you about, the entertainment industry was ass. Jenna warned you after you guys made it official that you'll be under the spotlight for a couple months, or even years. You couldn't go outside for even a minute without seeing a paparazzi literally in the bushes with a huge goddamn camera as if you can't see them. But if that was the price to pay just for Jenna to be beside you at all times, you'd deal with it even if you'll have paparazzi surrounding your coffin soon.

"Y/n?" she said, waving her hands in front of you, as if the only thing keeping you grounded was your tight grip on her waist. "I have something to tell you."

"Yeah? Yeah, sorry, what is it?"

"I'm moving in with you."

"What?"

Damn, you were certainly not ready for that.

"If— If that's okay, of course—"

"It's always okay, it's more than okay, Jenna!" You took her hands into yours, shaking them with excitement. "When are you moving? Actually, why are you moving?"

"It's been months into our relationship, y/n. I don't like how you always drive to my apartment every day just to see me." She stood up, lifting you by your grip, "also, I'm moving next week. I still have a schedule to clean up on."

You stood up alongside her, walking backward while facing Jenna as she walked beside you. "But driving to your apartment is my favorite part of the day, Jenna."

She sighed, "Okay, you choose, driving miles to my apartment or waking up beside me?"

"Definitely the latter." You picked, way too instantly, pointing a finger at her and clicking your tongue while she laughs.

"See? It'll be fun. For the both of us." She ran beside you then took your hand, pushing her body to be against yours as you smiled under your breath. Oh, how you loved being in her presence.

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The two of you approached the front door, kicking off your shoes while Jenna placed hers gently near the entrance. You turned on the lights as you headed for the kitchen, calling out, "You want something to drink, Jenna?" while noticing Jenna was still at the doorway.

She immediately turned the corner upon hearing your voice. A small smile played on her lips as she looked over at you, one of your hands on your hips as you scanned the refrigerator for ingredients. "I'm good. Thanks, y/n."

"Make yourself at home, Jenna. Since you are moving in," you said, glancing over your shoulder. You noticed Jenna looking around your house, finding the interior and atmosphere both familiar and yet vaguely new.

"You got it fixed?" she called out after noticing the DSLR camera you always loved and adored on top of the coffee table. You had it fixed for the holidays and for Jenna, of course, considering how both of you always enjoyed making videos with it in the past. You figured it was time to revive those memories.

"Yup! I had to. Its got my treasured moments in it." You approached her. After scanning your near-empty refrigerator, you took the DSLR camera in your hands and handed it to her. "I wanted to do a Christmas special on it, this time, with you on here."

"Christmas special?" She looked up at you, smiles and all. You remained the same for her—the one who always loved making videos, even if you were too scared to post them online or just didn't have a reason to. Nonetheless, you gave your best in those videos, and it truly brought out your happiest side.

"Didn't even know that was possible. I mean, no offense, but this looked like it got run over by a bullet train." She fiddled with your camera, turning it on and scrolling through the photos and videos. She was surprised to find old videos she hadn't seen the last time she turned it on.

You chuckled at Jenna's comment. "Okay, I'll admit it was pretty busted, but I found a technician who worked wonders on it. And about the Christmas special, well, it's going to be the first video I filmed in a long while."

"Long while? You haven't filmed something in this?" She looked at you, concern filling her eyes. She always knew you were the one in the friendgroup always recording a moment, even in the past she had heard, so why stop?

You sat down with her, "Ever since you left, I haven't been able to record. Even if I did, I'd just delete it anyway. Nothing is ever perfect without you, Jenna. I didn't realize how much it meant to me until I couldn't bring myself to do it without you." Your voice dwindled down into a whisper as you took her free hand that was beside yours, gently grazing your thumb on her palm. The vulnerability in your voice was something Jenna liked about you, how you spoke your mind whenever you were with her.

"I never knew," Jenna admitted, her fingers gently intertwining with yours. "I'm sorry, y/n."

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips before you checked your phone for the time. "Okay, sappy moment over!" You immediately stood up, putting your phone in your pocket, "I have to go and buy some groceries. Wanna to come, Jenna?"

"I'll stay if it's alright." She assured you, chuckling at how fast you got over the moment so quickly.

"More than alright. I won't be long anyway." You headed for the doorway, putting on your boots and coat, your hand already on the doorknob until you heard Jenna call out your name.

"Y/n! You forgot something!" She called out, approaching you with headphones in hand.

You looked over at her, already smiling at the fact that she was more than an inch smaller when you put on your boots. "Oh, right," you said before cupping her cheeks and giving her a quick peck on the lips, completely ignoring the fact that she was already handing you your headphones.

You gave a little wave and a quick goodbye before going out and closing the door behind you.

"Your headphones—!" Jenna called out before you were already running across the street with your hands in your pockets. Honestly, she was more surprised with your ability to forget everything in your vicinity rather than how you walked so fast.

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Your voice from the camera echoed throughout your bedroom, the room where the both of you had confessed your love for each other. Jenna laid comfortably on your bed, the window opened as cold air flowed into the room, and your camera held up high by her hands. She was watching an old video you had filmed before, you and Jenna in her old home, filming a cooking video, she’d think you’d call it.

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"Weeelcome to—hey Jenna, what should we name our cooking show?" You picked the camera up from the camera as it started recording. You went over to Jenna who was already prepping the ingredients needed, even she was in get-up, an apron and all. You contemplated if you could quickly go to the store and buy a chefs hat for her.

Jenna glanced up from her task, her eyes going to the camera before going to you. "Maybe just our names together? Jenna and Y/n."

You lowered the camera a slight bit, the perspective looking a little wonky, "But Jenna, that's so boring! We need more pizzaz." You looked at Jenna who was screaming towards the kitchen and the cupboards to check where her knife went.

"Then have you got something in mind?" She sharply asked, turning her heel around, "Have you, somehow, seen my knife? I swear it was just around the sink."

"Yeah, okay, great point, I have nothing as well." You placed down the camera on the counter, using a jar of whatever behind to keep it from falling down. "Here," you said with a cheeky smile as you presented the knife as if you were kneeling before a queen, and Jenna could only give you an unimpressed look.

You helped Jenna for a hot minute before turning to the camera once again, your full body being shown and a certain someone who was outside of view "Today, we're baking cookies—Jenna, c'mere." You held your hand to Jenna who wasn't in frame.

Jenna, still holding an unimpressed expression, walked over to where you were standing, joining you as you both appeared side by side in the frame. You appeared comically taller in the camera than Jenna, making you laugh just slightly before the shorter one punched you in the gut.

"Alright, anyway, let's bake some cookies!" You clasped your hands together, and Jenna could only look at you with eyes that conveyed love and adoration, wondering how you never noticed it.

Jenna picked up the camera and whispered, a little bit too loudly into the camera, "Side note, we have little to no experience at all at baking," she said, "We have absolutely no idea what we're doing!" You screamed from the background, already mixing in the ingredients, making her laugh before yelling that you made the wrong step.

"We're winging it, Jenna! God, who knew we could be such good bakers?" You exclaimed while mixing everything up, your hand was getting tired by how you whisked everything at such random paces, but Jenna didn't mind.

Everything was going smoothly, and perfectly Jenna could say so herself before her face scrunched up in confusion when you accidentally added salt instead of sugar.

Jenna's eyes widened, her warnings to stop you were a bit too late as you had already added half of the cup into the mixture. "Wait, oh fuck, y/n, y/n! That's a whole cup of salt!" She exclaimed, throwing her body against you as she tried to grab your arm that was pouring the sugar, but it was already too late.

You paused mid-mix, staring at Jenna, then at the bowl with a horrid expression. "Shoot!" You immediately, in instincts you'd defend until your dying days, dove your hand right into the mixture, as if your hand could magically pull out the tiniest ass bits of salt grains.

Jenna with all her might, restrained herself from bursting into laughter, "Okay, that's just so wrong, you can't just—!"

"Alright, alright!" You pulled your hands from the mixture, putting them up in the air in surrender as the gooey texture of incorporated eggs, flour, milk, and whatever was in there went down from your sleeves.

"Let's just make another batch." You turned to her, "let's just make another batch," you repeated.

"Y/n, we went through 3 batches already."

A moment of silence you both had as both of you looked at the batter you two worked hard on. Before a playful fight completely outraged from the both of you when you started to hand paint Jenna's face from the batter, creating silly drawings on her face as she ran away from you armed with a spatula to fend you off.

In the end, the both of you completed your task of baking cookies while using the same batch, and, well, they turned out... nice. On the camera, they looked really nice, and they kinda even smelled good from afar.

"Annnd, it's done!" You exclaimed, and Jenna tilted the pan slightly to give the camera a preview of the cookies.

After a bit of banter from the both of you, a minute passed by, and you two were holding cookies.

"They look... edible enough to eat anyway," Jenna said, inspecting them before looking towards you with your own cookie. "Cheers?"

"Cheers!" you echoed, holding up your cookie to Jenna's in a mock toast. The camera captured the moment as both of you took a bite simultaneously. And how your faces contorted into disgust.

"Y/n, just take it out, even I can't swallow this."

"Okay, good choice, oh god—!"

The last thing the camera recorded before it fell was you and Jenna quickly spitting out the bites into a nearby trash can and rushing over to the sink, pushing each other as you tried to turn the faucet on and rinse off the disgusting taste you both had in your mouth.

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Jenna laughed heartily as she scrolled through the numerous videos you both had filmed over the past months with the camera in her hand. She couldn't believe that your entire bond had been created over this camera—how you wanted to become a director and how she wanted to become an actress. It was surprising how well the both of you fit with each other, down to your interests.

She kept watching the videos you had filmed for the both of you. Jenna even went out of her way to roam around your room, looking for memory cards to see what other videos you both had done. That was until she opened a certain drawer in your table lamp, tucked away all the way to the end. She couldn't have spotted it if she hadn't opened it all the way.

Handwritten notes, letters, wilted flowers, keychains, an abundance of printed polaroid photos, and photos in general that you had kept, intending to give them to Jenna. These mementos had been tucked away in this drawer for months on end.

She didn't want to pry, but a part of her was drawn to the crumpled letter that stood out among the rest. When she opened it, it had pen scribbles and stains from what she assumed were tears.

The letter read,

To my Jenna To my dearest To Jenna

To the girl across my street, (9/27/2020)

                  You shouldn’t be the one I should be writing a love letter to at 1 in the morning, even if I know in my bones I’ll be writing letters for you until I rest for eternity. You shouldn’t be the one that keeps me up at night wondering if you’ll ever come back until now. You shouldn’t be the one that I subject my undying love to, the love that I kept reserved all these years, and yet you arrive and suddenly, all of it is yours. You shouldn’t be the one for me at all. But you are, and I hate that you’re everything I want in my life. I shouldn’t be mad at you Jenna. In fact, I love you. I love you so much, it hurts as I write this. I love you so much, I can’t look at myself anymore wondering what I would’ve done to keep you moving away from my life. Ever since I saw you, I felt like nothing in my life mattered more than being with you, even if I knew that was impossible. Well, until you suddenly picked me up after a horrible fall. I knew from everyone in my town that you were the most private person, you never opened up to them even if they always kept coming to your doorstep with leftovers from their family dinner. You told me that it was a bit overwhelming, seeing your fridge pile up everyday with everybody’s leftovers, you even got a lollipop from a kid. From our conversations, it was those random moments you told me from your life that I cherished the most, even if it was just something you remembered out of the blue. I fell mad in love with you, head over heels. No one would know falling in love with a great force other than me with you. I realized that when you invited me to your family's house for Christmas after you found out about the relationship I had with my parents, since then, I knew the love I had for you was soon going to drown me until my heart was filled with your name.

The way your family welcomed me with open arms as if I was someone, finally someone a part of something, I couldn’t bear to walk away anymore. The way you had introduced me to your siblings and cousins with a smile that I could only mistake for as a star, the way you had made me a part of your family, the way you made your family love me the way they loved you. I hate it, Jenna. I hate how your eyes brought revelry upon those who are grieving, how your touch brought forth the saints buried in the hearts of sinners, how your laugh would make every great poet struggle to illustrate the sound of your voice, how your soul brings every angel and saint to shame. I hate how you made me so happy, how you made the happiest side of me shine. I hate how I hate none of these things at all. I love everything about you, I can’t just pretend like I don’t. I love you, Jenna. I love you with all of my heart, each bone in my body yearns for yours, your very being became the muse of every thought, my soul is eternally yours forever, why did I let it be that way? And why until now, It’s still yours to keep? To rip apart? Yours to silently remind you that there’s someone out there who had their heart programmed to beat for you, and for only you. The day you left, I only realized how you were so important to me. It’s maddening how that was the first thought came to mind, how I fell so in love with your soul I completely forgot how you left me in pieces. How you didn’t text me, how you didn’t call me, how you didn’t even do the bare minimum as knocking on my door or maybe leaving a note to say you were leaving entirely. It’s been exactly a year since you left, and I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since. A part of you still stayed with me, or maybe I just looked for you everywhere, hoping one day you’d appear beside me like nothing ever happened and grace me once again with that smile of yours that would last me a lifetime. Everything reminds me of you, Jenna. Every place, every home, every street, every film, every note that I hear from a song you’d used to sing to me with your stupid guitar you always wanted to master but never got the chance to. I’m in love with you, Jenna. I’m so in love with you to the point I can’t say it to your face. I’m yours forever more, and I hate that I am.

From, y/n. Happy Birthday, Jenna.

I wished I confessed to you more earlier.

"Jenna! Jenna!" A voice she loved, loved now more than anything, quickly pulled her out of her thoughts, banging against her own door. She pulled herself up from your bed, running towards the door in a hurry while holding the letter in her hands.

Jenna unlocked the door to see you. The love of her life, someone who wrote thousands of letters for her every day since she left, someone who had the stupidest idea to spend every inch of her savings to go buy her the headphones she always wished to own, someone who was now standing in the freezing cold.

"Jenna— Oh, Jenna, I forgot my headphones, and—and it was freezing like shit. God, I never knew there was a snowstorm coming in. I'm sorry I took so long I—"

You were cut off mid-sentence by her, who pulled you by your collar into a passionate kiss. The warmth of your house, the warmth of Jenna's body against yours, the warmth of her lips that brought every inch of your body to heaven was everything you needed to calm down. If only you had paused for a minute to take a glance at Jenna when you were rambling, you could only see her eyes in a lovesick gaze for you, you could see how much she loved you, you could see how she was everything you perceived her to be.

"Y/n," Jenna whispered, her voice a soft melody that resonated in the quiet room as you wrapped your arms around her waist.

You smiled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Jenna's ear. "What… What was that for?"

"I love you," she whispered under her breath. "I love you," she added, one more time, as if you were going to disappear if she didn't.

"I love you too, Jenna. What's going on?"

"I just—I just love you so much, y/n. I always said I love you, but never added so much or expressed how much I loved you." Jenna was always straightforward when it came to talking. It was her nature, her style of sentence, how she spoke aloud, the quiet confidence she had whenever she spoke to someone; it was one of the characteristics she had that made you fall in love with her. But now, she couldn't express herself in the way she wanted to. She did, but it only fell short. The amount of love she had for you was something she could never express properly, even with a dictionary in her hands, it couldn't be possible.

It only took you a minute before figuring what had happened.

"You... you read the letter?"

"Yes—Yes, I read the letter, y/n. All of it."

"Well, what'd you think?" You almost thought that you had discarded the letters you wrote for her, but you kept the most important one of all.

She pulled you into a soul-crushing hug, "I love you. I'm sorry, I just love, love, love, you, y/n. I'm sorry if I'm not enough for you."

"Jenna," you whispered, gently pulling back to look into her eyes, "You don't know how much you're more than enough for me. You don't know how much your smile just means everything to me, good or bad, and your love is everything I've ever wanted. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jenna's gaze softened, and a relieved smile played on her lips. "I'm just afraid that my love might fall short, you know? That I couldn't express it the way you do."

You cupped her face, your thumb gently grazing her skin, admiring her freckles. "Your love is perfect, Jenna, it's yours. I don't need grand gestures or expressions to make me feel happy. I just need you—your love, your presence, and everything that makes you who you are. Just, please, don't change that just for me—or for anyone."

The both of you kissed, the middle of the night while the orange light coming off from the kitchen flickered. A kiss, you knew, lasted only for a second. Or maybe even a few seconds, but this kiss lingered like a memory that lasted forever, a picture that was photographed and kept in a sealed case, stars that die but explode into a gorgeous nebula, a kiss that's worth for a thousand lifetimes.

Afterward, both of you watched the videos that you had filmed whenever and wherever. Jenna noted your habit of bringing the DSLR everywhere, capturing snippets of your private life where she wasn't in the frame. However, you quickly threw the camera against the headboard when she came across the holy grail of you trying out some skateboard tricks, where you horribly fell and got various scars on your leg.

In that moment, both of you probably knew you were going to stay with each other no matter what happened, or what challenges you faced. The way you both kissed then, in the doorway, was the most romantic kiss you had shared in your entire life. Probably not the most ideal of spots to decide to marry someone, but then again, who was the insane one who dated the girl across her street?

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Invisible string.

That was the saying for those who believe there's a string of fate binding people who were destined to be together, or for anyone who was in love for that matter. It's a sweet thing, you can say, considering how you're one of the people who truly believed in it. You spent half of your life waiting for the right person to just step into your life and take over your heart by storm, someone who would think of you when they see a shooting star, someone who'd paint canvases of your face so the world would know who considered you greater than the Mona Lisa, someone who cherished you oh so dearly. Now, you can happily say with all your heart, you found her.

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a/n: aaahhh this series has come to a close, thank you for all the love and support! now i can finally do another series with JO's characters or maybe just oneshots. (i have a fuck ton of drafts.)

[kakiastro]

Lunar Eclipse Pisces 25°=A time for Healing

What’s up everyone! Well another eclipse is approaching on the 17th/18th(check timezone location) so tomorrow. This eclipse is important because it’s taking place in the last sign of the zodiac, Pisces! It’s also a supermoon!! The energy will be strong and potent.

Pay attention because this is the beginning of our storyline to the Pisces/Virgo axis in our life! The Nodes will switch to these signs next after being in Aries/Libra for 1.5 year.

Lunar Eclipse is connected to past lives and connections to the spiritual realm in ancient studies.

This eclipse will conj Neptune Pisces! Remember Saturn is still in Pisces too! It’s opposing all of this Virgo energy and sextile Pluto and Uranus!

So what does this means?

-if you’re a creative, it’s the perfect time to tap into that creative space! Listen to some music that aligns with the energy you want to tap into! Let your imagination fly!

-pay attention to your dreams! The more you remember, the longer the message. Our dreams are like codes so this is good time to journal and decipher what they mean to you! Follow your intuition. With it being in Pisces, they’re going to be lucid and might not make a lick of sense so bare that in mind. Look up the meaning then connect them to your life

-if you’re into spirit baths, then take one tonight, release all the funk negative energies you felt throughout this whole summer! Connecting with water energy like bath, showers, drinking water, if you live near a body of water. Anything that will connect you to it!

-healing and more healing! You may have an epiphany during this eclipse. Maybe it’s something you didn’t realize about yourself

-some people may find out they’re pregnant or will conceive this eclipse

-hospital visits or picking up medications could be a thing. Scheduling a doctors appointment or confirming one

- mental health topics could a huge topic with this eclipse! What can we do as a collective to help those who are struggling right now?

-Pisces placements especially moons will feel it the heaviest especially the ones with 25°-29° degree placements. Mutable placements Sag, Virgo, Gemini with degrees 25°-29° will feel it too!!

-some people may start a new career or pursue one. Some might start to get recognition after hard work.

-some may change their diets or contemplate doing it

-you may reconnect with someone to clear the air and finally move forward in peace. Setting boundaries or removing yourself completely after saying your peace could be the main topic of conversation. Moving forward is the theme.

-there’s a strong sense of “I just want peace and quiet” energy.

-25° is an Aries degree! So the focus is really on ourselves and getting ourselves together! Standing up ourselves, starting over or something new, forgiving ourselves for our own past deeds by taking accountability.

Whatever house Pisces rules for you is how it will play out in your life. May this eclipse be the chapter to something good for you!

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Tight Hold

A One For The Road Bonus Chapter

Cecil Dennis x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Kinktober 2023 Masterlist • Day 26: Choking

Summary: Cecil needs to come.

A/N: You don't have to have read One For The Road to read this. This was meant to be for kinktober 2023 (I'm so sorry). Haha, this is a fever dream.

Warnings: choking, fleshlight, mention of anal sex, Cecil being a bit subby, not beta read, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 470

Cecil wriggled excitedly in your arms, practically purring. “Oh fuck, yes, a little tighter please?” He bites his lip and then groans when you indulge him.

He’s naked while you’re fully clothed, his back pressed up against your chest, your right hand wrapped around his neck, squeezing lightly. While your left gently jerks the fleshlight back and forth along his weeping cock. 

He shivers, shakes, his muscles jumping and flexing as he does his best to stay as still as possible. The urge to buck up into the slick sensation of the toy is becoming almost all-consuming. 

He moans softly, his hands flexing. “God, this is so nice,” he holds onto your legs, jumping back and forth between laying his head against your shoulder to look at where you’re working him over, mesmerised with how his dick disappears into the silicone. 

“Can we, can we,” he shivers, grunting softly as you pick up the pace every so slightly, pumping him faster. “Ohhhhh, fuck yeah!”

He lets out a series of light quick gasps, his eyes rolling back. 

“What do you want, baby?” You kiss his neck and he groans weakly. 

“After can you fuck me in the ass?” He whines. “Please?” 

You chuckle, loving how he mewls and begs. “Oh course, baby.” 

He shudders as you jerk faster, the slick sounds of the slap, slap, slap of the toy echoes and harmonises with his cries. The lube coats his cock, smears onto his lower stomach and drips down his balls onto the bedding below. 

“I’m gonna cooome,” he whines, trying his best to fight it off, to hold out for just a few seconds. 

“You want me to choke you?” You whisper in his ear.

“Plleeeeaaaasseee!” He sobs, pleasure just beginning to truly spike. 

He writhes, his hips bucking weakly as you work him furiously, waiting for his moans to raise in pitch, for his body to tense and pulse and-

His orgasm hits hard and Cecil cries out, eyes squeezed shut. 

You squeeze his neck, digging your fingers into his skin and nipping at his shoulder as Cecil’s voice dampens, quieted by your fierce grip. 

He squirms, his back arching, pressing himself further into your touch as his airways constrict and the minimal oxygen leaves him deliciously lightheaded. 

He spurts into the toy, filling it to the brim. You keep jerking it, pumping him and forcing his cum to leak out of the sides and down his length. You relax your hand around his neck, letting him take a deep inhale.

“Look at the fucking mess you’re making.” You whisper and Cecil whines happily. “I’m gonna use your cum as lube to fuck you.” You mutter, punctuating the sentence with a kiss to his jaw.

Cecil shivers, his cock twitching despite how hard he just came. “Oh god, yes.” 

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[hiraethwa]

one summer day

07 sun and moon. where you plan a surprise for ushijima’s birthday with the help of his teammates

<< 06 saturn ii. | >> 08 to be human.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: as inspired by “i promised myself i would never fall in love but it was 4am and we were laughing way too hard and i felt happy for the first time in a long time" this one got a little out of hand hahaha :) hope you enjoy a cute slice of life chapter after all that angst from saturn parts i and ii - ave word count: 2.8k warnings: cursing, falling in love tags: @lemurzsquad -- (inbox me if you want to be added to the tag list)

august, second year

you hope that the boys did a good job of keeping your plan under wraps as you signaled to semi in the volleyball gym,. it’s summer break, and you had baked ushijima’s favorite cake as a surprise for his birthday. you have been planning this since the break started, coordinating with the boys on the team to celebrate his birthday. 

you stay hidden from his sight outside the doors, watching as tendo claps his hands twice to get the team’s attention, counting to three before they launch into a terrible rendition of the birthday song. it physically hurts you to hear the out of tune and unsynchronized singing, but you make your feet move forward. 

the candles on cake flicker as you step into the building, joining in to the singing as best you can. ushijima turns around to find you smiling sweetly at him, dressed in a white summer dress that falls to your knees, as if he heard you among the sea of voices. 

there is surprise in the way his eyes slightly widened, lips parting. he did not see this coming, you note with a strange sense of satisfaction, feeling a song coursing through your body. 

you stop in front of him, lifting the cake for him to blow the candles out. “happy birthday, toshi” you have been using that shortened version of his name for him lately, preferring the way it sounds. what you didn’t know though, was that the team has been giving him grief about you doing it, teasing him to no end when you were not around despite his repeated rejections of claims that the two of you were dating. 

a wide smile graces your lips as you soak in the way he stares back and forth at you and the cake before closing his eyes for what only felt like seconds, making a wish. you watch as his tongue darts across his lips before he puts out the candles in one breath. 

you hand over the cake to one of the first years, as ushijima thanks the team for the surprise and orders them back to practice in his captain voice. the third years had chosen him to lead the team, leaving shortly after they were done with interhigh nationals to focus on preparing for university entrance examinations. 

you know how significant it was for him to be chosen as captain. how he valued being relied upon by his teammates to see them through to victory. he aspired to be the dependable ace, and now he is. 

you place a hand on his arm, stopping them from resuming practice. it was evening now, and definitely time for dinner. you have a reservation booked at a restaurant in town, and have made the necessary arrangements for the team to be able to attend it. 

“coach gave you all time off tonight,” you announce, enjoying the various looks of surprise and respect on their faces except ushijima, who looks like he saw this coming. “c’mon, we have a dinner reservation in thirty minutes.”

they stand frozen in place, before one of the first years, shirabu, breaks the silence. “how did you do that? coach is so strict, he never lets us slack off at practice.”

you laugh, noting how they felt comfortable to address you now, a far cry from the beginning of the school year when they were too afraid to approach you whenever you visited your friends at practice. “that’s because i’m coach’s favorite,” you wink at the setter, sending him into a blushing fit. 

though the coach seemed hard to get along with, he had taken a liking to you after you brought him homemade food on a few occasions to bribe him into letting you stay and watch the matches. despite the mean facade he wears, he was always kind when he interacted with you.

you remember him taking a look between you and ushijima back in may, having noticed how you two seemed to appear together and how you stood closer than normal friends would, elbows touching and how only ushijima got packed bentos from you, and bluntly asked if you were dating. 

you had looked at ushijima, meeting his eyes and immediately looked away, heat burning your face all the way to the tip of your ears. and the two of you had denied it so quick and loudly that it caught the attention of the shiratorizawa players who were in the middle of a match. the spike the opponents sent back caught your team off guard, hitting soekawa in the back of his head and scoring the match point. 

coach had made them do a hundred serves each as penalty after the visiting college team left. 

sometimes you wonder if ushijima has told him anything about you to make him treat you so kindly. sometimes when you sat next to him at matches, helping him record the plays since they did not have a manager, and he talked to you about your life and your plans, he felt like more of a parental figure than your own parents. sometimes when he looks at you with that all knowing glint in his aged eyes, holding his words back and trusting you to make your own decision, you wish your parents were more present in your life. 

“go change into clean clothes, please!” you shoo the sweaty boys away from you when they try to give you a hug. the first years, recognizing the influence you have with their coach, had taken to lining up in a straight line, saluting to you with reverence. “yes, senpai!” 

you shake your head at the younger boys as they start cleaning up, jumping with excitement at the prospects of being given time off. you place the cake back into the cake carrier to bring to the restaurant as dessert. 

“y/n-chan!” tendo casually walks over to you, hands placed on his hips. “you look real pretty today. ushijima-kun must be over the moon that you dressed up for his birthday.” he grins at you teasingly.

you elbow the boy, rolling your eyes at him. “shut your mouth if you don’t have anything good to say, satori.”

“huh? anyone with eyes would be.” he sticks his tongue out at you, leaning back on the bench with his hands braced on either side of himself. 

you sit down next to him, watching the team packing up the equipment and mopping the floors. particularly the team captain. you got serious, remembering their recent loss in nationals. “how was practice? i know the interhigh loss must have been tough.”

“well enough, i suppose. we are constantly pushing each other to improve, ushijima-kun most of all.” he shrugs, pausing. you know that he gives his all and more to be the best out there. after all, he is one of the top three aces in the country at the high school level. but still, you worry that he is pushing himself too hard.

when school was in session, you had to drag your boys out of the gym by the neck on some evenings. they would lose track of time, practicing hours past practice, wearing their tired bodies down. and you would be there to tell them off. on some days, bribing them with food gets them out of the gym. 

tendo pins you with a knowing look. “i’m glad you found each other, you know.”

“who?” you frown at him. he needs to stop being so vague and whatever this is.

“you and ushijima-kun. he’s different around you, a good different,” he gestures toward you, “and you, you are happier around him. you smile more, and you come out of your shell to hang out with us. it feels like he’s the sun and you’re the moon, and you reflect the light he shines on you radiantly.” 

you understand what he meant. you, of all people, would know. being around ushijima feels like basking in warm sunlight in spring when it’s a little too chilly without the sun. though you don’t want to admit it, it feels like home. 

you don’t care to dig deeper and put a name to the feeling. you just wish to savor the present before it slips through your fingers. all you know is that you truly felt safe to be yourself around him. you love the person you are, the person you are becoming, with ushijima by your side. 

since that vulnerable night you shared with him months ago, he had kept his promise. whenever you took a step towards the light, he was right there next to you. and when the darkness tried to lure you back into its familiar embrace, he held your hand tight, refusing to let you go. 

slowly, but surely, you began to look forward to plans you made with your friends and classes that you found an interest in. to see the summer transition to autumn. to the life you would have after high school. music started to feel like magic instead of an escape. 

the hazy future that had avoided you became clearer. you had friends who cared about you. you grew the courage to show yourself and say the things you were too afraid to say in conversations. you smiled more, laughed more. you started living, and it felt good. it felt amazing, actually. you have developed the confidence to be the person that you kept hidden away for far too long.

“i’m the lucky one,” you mutter to yourself, lost in your own thoughts, failing to notice that tendo had been called away and the boys are filing out of the gym, chattering excitedly. semi calls out to you, “let’s go, y/n!”

“wait for me!” you yell back at him, jumping up and grabbing the cake carrier. semi links his arm through yours as you catch up to them. 

a lively air surrounds your group of friends as you head into town for dinner. your party of twenty takes up a good portion of the restaurant. talking and laughing about the most random things, from semi’s recent obsession with styling his hair to the time ohira got so nervous talking to a girl he said he likes her friend. 

the waitress comes by the table to take your orders, timidly trying to speak to the boys, but they are all distractedly speaking amongst themselves. so you stood up, clinking your fork to a glass of water to get their attention, telling them to decide on their orders and tallying up the different sets that they chose. she shoots you a grateful smile for making her life easier and not having to interact with the intimidating group of boys. you return an apologizing smile to her for your party who is being difficult to handle. 

dinner flies by with you seated between ushijima and semi. tendo rose to his feet, copying your earlier actions of clinking a utensil to a glass to get everyone’s attention. and proceeds to give a birthday toast to ushijima. “ushijima-kun, i am grateful to be able to call you my friend. happy birthday to the best team captain i have ever had!”

you all cheer for his sweet and simple birthday wish, sounds of clinking glasses and whoops fill the air. soekawa, seated beside tendo goes next, and then, ohira, and one by one, going around the table, birthday wishes are said to ushijima. 

shirabu wishes his senpai a great year of volleyball ahead and to win the nationals in his final year. semi admits that he admires ushijima’s work ethic when it comes to volleyball and for the soon-to-be third years to do their best. 

and then all eyes fall to you, the last one at the table to say something. the only girl sitting at the table full of strong-framed volleyball players. but somehow, you don’t feel like the odd one out. no, you feel perfectly comfortable with the group of friends who is beginning to feel like family.

but it is the pair of earth colored eyes that knocks the breath out of you. 

“wakatoshi, it has been my honor to call you my friend in the past year. you’ve seen parts of me that no one else had seen,” you pause, the hoots and excited clapping from the second years interrupting you. you shoot them a glare that promises death, realizing how your words implied something else. 

but you ignore the burning in your cheeks as you continue your toast. “and yet you stayed when you did not have to. you’re an amazing person, and an even better volleyball player. let’s celebrate this day next year and every year after that. happy birthday, captain!”

you meet his eyes, a warm light to them. a silent thank you reverberating in their depths.

no, thank you. a blink, and then a slow smile back to ushijima as the world fades away to silence until it was just the two of you. 

you see the understanding in his eyes. so many words left unsaid because they were not needed, not with him. they say soulmates complete each other. but you never believed in soulmates. even if they did exist, he wouldn’t be yours.

tendo is right. he’s a sun, capable of powering entire planets, and you are but a barren moon, thriving under his care, much like the other planets and their own moons in the solar system. just as the moon orbits the earth and the sun, so does the sun orbit the center of the milky way galaxy. and the sun is always out of the moon’s reach, destined for greater things.

you are grateful to have him in your life, but you know that sooner or later, he will move on. he is meant for more than just this. such is this life. so you will take whatever fate has given you and hold on to it tightly while you can. 

even if your souls are made from the same fabric, it is not enough for the ill-fated hand that you have been dealt. it should be enough for you to be able to share this time with ushijima. it has to be.

and then the noise comes flooding back in, pulling you back to reality as ushijima looks away towards someone who pulled him into a conversation. 

you stand up abruptly, unsettled by the realization that crept up on you. “i’m going to get some fresh air”, you say tightly to no one in particular, grabbing your purse and walking out the door. 

you settle on the curved bench, throwing your head back and enjoying the occasional cool breeze kissing the warm skin on your neck, legs stretched out like a cat. you stare up at the sky, at the moon and the stars twinkling in the distance. 

a heavy weight settling besides you startles you, sending you scrambling to sit up. “it’s me” ushijima. 

“hey, you. what are you doing away from your party, birthday boy?” you relax back into your comfortable position. sometimes you think you get high on air around him.

he nudges you. “not the same without the person who made it all happen.”

you unconsciously scoot closer to him despite the heat radiating off his body. “i enjoy their company, but i think the quiet suits me more.” against your best judgement, you lean in towards him, resting your heavy head against the curve of his shoulder. the silence always feels so loving in his presence.

“thank you,” you turn to look at him, finding his gaze already on you. his face is inches away from yours. that’s the closest you two have ever gotten, you think. you could lose yourself in his eyes forever. 

“for what?” it comes out as a whisper. 

there is a twinkle in his eyes. “for today. for making my birthday such a memorable one. for all the food you made me. for the green tea you keep stocked for me. for seeing me.” a smile graces his lips, “for being on my side. for nothing. for everything. for being you.” he lists, counting on both hands.

maybe it’s the way his voice calms you and soothes your fears. maybe it’s the feeling of his arm against yours. maybe it’s the way the moonlight is shining in his hair. maybe it’s the feeling of the melody that had been slumbering in you shift and open one eye. maybe it’s the way he saw your darkest and ugliest parts and still chose to stay. maybe it’s the way he felt like home.

because despite your best intentions, despite the promise you made to yourself to not fall in love, you find yourself stepping off the cliff.

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reblogs and comments are appreciated! i wanted to yell so much as i proofread this part omg AHHH my inbox is also open if you would like to yell about them privately <3

[seeingivy]

ribbons release

actor eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: happiness for once. until it is not. ronnie's love for foreshadowing strikes again.

an: not a fan of this chapter, but we digress. read it and do not kill me if you don't like it.

song: not explicitly mentioned, but this chapter reminds me of about you by the 1975. ratty healy, I hate you but you ate on this one thing.

previous part linked here

--

“I ju-just sent my loc-location, Eren.” 

“I got it, Y/N. I just need you to hold on for ten more minutes, okay? Can you do that for me?” 

“Y-yes.” 

Seattle is famous for rain. You understand that all too well now. After what you’ve counted as twenty-seven minutes - from when you went to take the trash out to the mailpost you’re hiding behind now - you’re all but soaked. Drenched. 

Your phone is blowing up with texts, the rain is only getting harder, and the mini black dress and ribbon in your hair do no favors to keep you warm. You slide out of your call with Eren and quickly scan through the messages, buzzing so loud they’re blocking Eren’s voice. 

reiner: so, so proud of you always!!! stop being a big famous pop star and go back to being the little twerp who needs my help killing spiders on set :/ 

levi: I love you too, kid. And on a real listen, we really do love the album. 

armin: ann and i are smelling a triple threat on the horizon. love you to the moon and saturn <3

connie: i was accidentally pooping while i listened to dorothea for the first time and i think the combination of those two things at once gave me like a really visceral reaction. im not ok. u are amazing. 

mikasa: u are givg me aneurysm. pls don’t forgor to call me the scnd ur okay. 

erwin: Call me ASAP. 

erwin: Not urgent. Just feeling emotional about my little Canadian reaching hearts all over the world. 

king of bitches (maybe: ryomen sukuna): Fluff shit indeed. Blow me a kiss when you beat James for Album of the Year. 

danny: where is the album release post? it’s almost been half an hour. 

You have bigger problems at the moment. Like the frozen piece of fabric you’re wearing. You should have named the album sweaters or scarves or something. Then at least you’d be warm. And blend in with the paparazzi. 

Fuck.

“W-wait, Eren. Y-you ca-n’t b-be the one to get me.” you murmur, shivering through your teeth.

“Do you want to stay with someone else? I know nice people here. My neighbor is in her late forties and has like two middle school aged girls that are really nice. They’d take care of you, I promise you can trust them and-” he rambles. 

“N-no. I want to st-stay with you. But pa-papara-zzi. S-send ss-omeone e-else.” 

“Paparazzi? Why are-?” 

“Er-eren.” 

“Would it be that bad if it was me? Like it has to be someone else, Y/N?” 

“Y-yes.” 

“I have someone in mind. She’s leaving right now, okay?” 

Eren’s sound is muffled over the line now, which has you digging your phone into your ear to catch the ends of what he’s saying. 

Blast the heater….butt warmer on before she’s in the car….bring it up and I will kick your freeloading….

“Y/N?” 

“H-here.” 

“Good. I’m sending her. Don't get upset, this is the best I could do, okay? I-I promise she’s actually nice. You can trust her and-and I’d never send someone who would do something bad.”  

“O-okay. I t-trust you. J-just get me ou-out of th-this, please.” you whimper, praying to god the rustling behind you is a rabbit and not the group of them finding you. 

“I’m trying sweetheart, okay? She’s speeding. She’s on Main and Third, three lights and she’s there.” 

That’s when you see it. The flash of the camera. And hear five consecutive clicks right after. You look around the periphery, before you see two of them, two tall guys speed walking closer to where you’re hiding. 

So you do the only thing you can. Stand up and run instead. 

You scramble up off the pavement, hiking your dress down, and keep running down the block. Climb up the gates, knock over trash cans to block the way, anything to stop them. And when you look back, after who knows how long, you realize they’re gone. 

And sit flat on the messy pavement, finally lifting the phone back up. Only to realize Eren’s no longer on the line because your phone is dead. You drop it straight into your lap and dig your hands into your head, covering your ears to stop the pounding sound of the rain from getting any louder. 

God. Just breathe. Whoever is coming to get you is on the way. They’ll come get you and then you’ll be out of this mess. 

You hear three resounding clicks and a flash of a light to look up at two different paps, two girls this time, getting a straight on picture of you. And all you can do is put your head down in your lap and cry. 

They already got the picture. There’s no point in trying to run out of it anymore. 

“Y/N.” 

“Pl-please. I’m b-begging you. You already got your picture and can ss-spin it into whatever you want. I-I’m still a person, please. Just let me go.” you respond, the tears blinding your sight of vision. 

You feel a towel being wrapped around your shoulders and soft hands lifting you up by your arms. And then all of a sudden you’re in a warm car, being sped out of the neighborhood past the groups of paparazzi in between the houses, and not directly across from them having your picture taken. 

You’re in a car. You’re okay. You’re leaving. You’re okay. 

You lean back and breathe hard, phantom sobs still racking out of your chest, trying to register that you’re almost there. Safe behind closed, triple locked doors. 

“D-did you tell Eren?” 

“Yes. He’s not far, we’ll be there soon, okay?” 

“Okay. T-thank you. I’m Y/N.” 

“Lana.” 

You turn your head to actually take in the driver this time, to be met with the Lana you feared. Ricky’s ex-girlfriend, Lana. She has short brown hair - entirely different from her long, beachy waves from the Girlfriend incident - a pointed nose and a very clenched jaw. 

“Th-there are more blankets on the floor. I pumped the heater pretty hard, but I’ll turn all the fans your way. And anything you could possibly need is being rushed to the house for you, so just don’t worry, okay?” 

“I appreciate it. Thank you for coming to get me. I-I” 

“Please don’t thank me. I just-” 

She takes a harsh intake of breath and turns to give you a look, her mouth upturned. 

“He locked you out, didn’t he?” she whispers. 

“Yeah.” you respond. 

“What did you do?”

“I told him I didn’t like him back.” 

She turns her head towards you, a look of confusion on her face. 

“It was a PR thing.” 

She snorts. 

“Your managers must hate you.” 

“I’m starting to think they just might.” 

“Well. Don’t feel bad. Not for a fucking second. Just because he likes you, doesn’t mean he’s entitled to you reciprocating back. You like who you like. And if I were you, I wouldn’t stop liking a guy like Eren for a skeeze like Ricky either.” 

You lean against the glass, hot air blowing in your face, as you take in her expression - so enraged, so exasperated, so furious that it gives you a chill. But when she looks over and gives you a halfhearted smile, you see the pained expression there too. 

That’s when you pinpoint it. Lana reminds you of Historia. 

“I’m sorry.” you respond. 

“For?” 

“You knew he locked me out. He must have done it to you too, no?” you whisper, the tension in the air delicate. 

She swallows hard and clenches her knuckles on the steering wheel, eyes laser focused on the red light shining on her face. And beyond the original striking features - her sharp jaw and nose - you see the softness too. The dimples, the wrinkles near her eyes, the light brown freckles. 

“I wanted to take time off from acting. It-I did a role that was really traumatic and I just needed a break. And he was just about to go on tour and he wanted me to come to support. Like a little cheerleader.” 

“So he locked you out?” 

“For two days. He-he’s just. A lot of the fame stuff got to him when he was really little. And now he’s got this convoluted sense of self-image and it just- I don’t know. He’s got problems.” she responds. 

“I’m sorry. Really, that’s-” 

You stop talking, words failing you. And maybe it’s the way your head was frozen ten minutes ago and it’s being melted now, or that the picture they took is going to leak soon, or that there is no good thing to say to something shitty like this. It only took him three months to turn on you, which you’re guessing is generous now. She must have infinite patience for putting up with it for an entire year. 

“In a weird way, I’m glad it’s me and not Eren. You- this does something for me. Making sure you’re not out there for two days, it-it helps me.” she whispers, looking over to give you a smile. 

“I really appreciate you, Lana. Thank you. And I-I’m not mad at you for the Girlfriend thing. You had every right to do that.” 

“Y/N. I have every right to drag Ricky James’ name through the mud. But not yours. And I- shit. Please don’t tell Eren we talked about this. He’s going to kill me.” 

“Why?” 

“He told me that if I brought it up, he’d kick me out of his house. I kind of stay there because I-I hate living in our townhouse on set because of how toxic it is and he was nice enough to offer. And he made it very clear that I have to pick you and make sure you’re okay, not make you uncomfortable or anything. We’re here to take care of you and-” 

“I brought it up. I’ll deal with him if he gives you a hard time. I used to be really good at that type of thing.” 

“I know for a fact that you could tell him to twirl in the air like a show pony and he’d do it.”

“I’ll test the theory and let you know.” 

She laughs, giving you a smile which you warmly return. Your phone buzzes in your lap, finally revived, and you send a quick message to Mikasa and Jean before shutting it off. 

“I-I didn’t know that it was going to go that far. I knew the song and that we were just going to sing it. Let people speculate it was about you. I-I didn’t know they’d have a girl who looked like you OR bring Eren up on stage. And Eren didn’t know anything about the song or the performance at all - they, they set him up.” 

“Why would they do that? I mean, they got horrible backlash in the entire thing.” 

“They thought people would like it. And they severely underestimated how much people love you. And they did it because, Eren- he. He doesn’t follow rules and-” 

“Follow rules?” 

“I’m saying too much. He-he’s going to get mad. Ju-just rest, okay? You’re okay now, we’re two minutes from the neighborhood..”  

You give her a questioning look, which she returns with a dismissive shake. Stubborn - she’s Historia alright. You lean back in the chair and reach for the music nob, twisting it on. Only to be met with the Teletubbies Theme blasting through the car and a very flustered Lana turning the knob off. 

“Fuck.” 

“Teletubbies?”

“I-I can explain.” 

“Please. I’d love to hear it.” 

She drums her fingers on the steering wheel as the silence hangs in the air. 

“Okay. Maybe I can’t explain.” 

“No need. I appreciate versatile music taste in prospective friends. Especially classics like this.” you respond, cranking the music back on. 

“Friends?” 

“Don’t be silly. Not exaggerating, but I think you quite literally saved my life a few minutes ago. You’re like the La-La to my Dipsy.” 

“Lame. You’re more of a Tinky-Winky. And anytime. We girls stick together, right?” she responds, reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze. Like Eren. 

Did she learn the hand squeezes from Eren? Is he squeezing her hands? They live together so …are they dating? 

“We’re here.” 

You nod, appreciative of Lana more than maybe any person on god's green Earth, as she pulls into the driveway and helps you out of the car. It’s only after sitting that you’re realizing your legs are so bone dead tired that you’re barely moving on your own. 

You move past the hood of the car as Eren walks into the garage, immediately beelining towards you. His hair is long again - it’s always changing every time you see him - and he’s all wound up with tensions sitting in his shoulders. His hands are warm and cupping your face, yanking the cold towel off and replacing it with a warm one. 

“Hey. You-you nicked your face, Y/N. And you’re freezing, you-” he whispers, brushing his fingers across the skin near your eye that stings on touch. 

Lana holds the door open as he leads you in, arms aggressively moving up and down your shoulders and his face all pinched up in concern. 

“You’re good to go? I put your stuff out by the door.” Eren says, gesturing to Lana. 

“Is she leaving?” you ask, looking up at Eren. 

“Yeah. Don’t worry, it’ll be just us. And I’m sure Mika and Jean will drop everything to fly out for you tomorrow, I can tell them if you need me to and-” 

“Well, don’t make her leave. She shouldn’t stay on that stupid set just because of me.” you respond. 

Eren looks over and glares at Lana, who is now wide eyed and giving Eren a sheepish smile. Fuck. He asked her not to talk about that. 

“Lana.” he says, in a warning tone. 

“Eren. Chill out. I didn’t even-” 

“You’re so full of yourself, you know that? You- she got drenched and the rain and you were talking about set?”

“It’s not like that! It just came up and-” 

“Oh, for sure. You just happened upon it like you were a villager walking in a town square. Ooh Y/N. You just got drenched in the rain and chased by paparazzi, but more importantly, the girls I work with are super bitchy.” he responds, mimicking her voice. 

“You-it wasn’t like that! You’re so aggravat-” 

“Eren. Leave her alone.” you ask, looking up at him. And you’re sure you must look horrible because he immediately stops when he looks at your face again and signals for her to leave, which she’s receptive to. 

“Okay. Lana, text me when you’re there. And check if you were followed on your way out.” Eren says. 

Lana stops and holds both of your arms at your biceps, hands soft on your skin. 

“Do call me if you need anything, okay? Especially Ricky related. Whatever you do, I’ll back you up, Tinky-Winky. ” 

“Thank you, La-La. I’ll take you up on that.” you respond, giving her a warm smile. 

“Oh god. No. No, you don’t get to be friends now. Fuck no, Lana. Please stick to the geriatric grandmas you play Scrabble with.” 

“You’re just mad they beat you at mahjong last week. Because you’re a prissy loser.” 

“And you’re-” 

You jab Eren in the side, signaling him to stop, as they both nod and she slides her way out. From the way he’s arguing, the look on his face is so similar to the one he gives Connie when they argue, you know they could go on for years if they got the chance. 

“Fuck you, Eren.” 

“Eat shit, Lana.” 

She flips him off as the door clicks shut behind her, the lack of her presence making you suddenly aware of your breaths. And of Eren, warm Eren rubbing into your shoulders and concerned green eyes staring into yours. 

“I like her.” you whisper. 

“Me too. Don’t tell her that though, she’s got an ego problem.” he responds.  

You laugh, which has him smiling at you, and suddenly you’re sobbing. And on cue, Eren has his arms around you, his touch warm and his voice oh so soft that it kills you. That you haven’t seen him in two months. And haven’t talked to him for longer. 

“Eren.” 

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry, it-it’ll be okay. I- we’ll fix this, okay? I’ll call Levi and Hange, whoever you want, they’ll all come and-” 

You reach up, tangling your arms around his neck as he keeps nervously talking, trying to hold you closer even though it’s not physically possible. And he’s just so- 

So familiar that he feels like home. 

“You’re breaking my heart here, Y/N. Please stop crying, I-I’ve got you, okay?” he murmurs, straight into your skin as you nod, trying your best to even out the sobs still leaving you. And slowly but surely, the stream slows and your breath evens out enough to get at least a few words out. 

“Okay. Okay, okay. I’m okay.” 

“Y/N?” 

“Hm?” 

“As much as I like holding you, you’re freezing. Take a shower first and we can do this all you want, okay?” 

You pull back, wiping the tears off your cheeks and giving him a nod. He gives you a small smile, before placing his hands on your shoulders and leading you down towards the bathroom. And you don’t miss all the posters and pictures he has on his walls - one from each season of Attack of Titan, a few of him and Armin, and even one of him and Lana flipping off the camera together. 

He pushes you into the bathroom and immediately turns on the shower all the way to the hottest setting, before turning around and putting his hands on his hips. 

“Towels, clothes, shampoo. There’s soap in there already and take as long as you want. Sit in here for three days if you have to just- do-do whatever you have to do and-” 

You pick up the bottle of shampoo, the lavender scented Pantene, the one that you’ve been using since you were fifteen. And you know, you know that Eren’s atrocious ass uses a three in one hair and conditioner so it’s not his. 

“Eren.” 

“Hm?” 

“Did you just happen to have the brand of shampoo that I use?” 

“N-no. Those are Lana’s.” 

“Then why are they unopened?” you ask, giving him a smirk. 

He glares at you, before rolling his eyes and holding your face. And now he’s leaning so close, so close that your lips are only a few feet away from yours, when he talks. 

“You know why you can’t make fun of me for keeping a spare of your shampoos in my house?” he whispers, green eyes burning in yours. 

“Why?” you whisper back, stomach lurching. 

“Because you’re actually here. I knew you’d come back to me.” he responds, giving your cheek a pinch before walking out. 

And when you watch him walk out, giving you one last smile before he shuts the door, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Typical Eren. Funny, irritating, and soft all in one. 

He’s the same as you left him. 

--

You pad out of the shower, Eren’s hoodie and sweatpants ridiculously huge on you, as you follow the sweet smell into the kitchen. Eren is leaned over the counter, sliding vegetables into two bowls of ramen as you walk in. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi. Took a while. Thought you died in there.” Eren responds, pressing his hands to your skin to test how warm they were. 

“I almost wish I did.” you respond, laughing. 

Except Eren doesn’t find it funny and instead he’s dropping the utensils and standing at your side. 

“Y/N.” 

“I was joking!” 

“Nothing about that was funny. Don’t ever joke about that.” he responds, rummaging through the drawers at your side before pulling out a little tube of gel. 

Eren taps the top of the counter, which you jump onto, before he takes his place in between your legs. His hands are focused on reading the instructions, forehead all scrunched up in concentration.

“What’s that?” 

“It’s like this…scar ointment or whatever. Helps things heal better, I want to use it on that cut on your pretty face.” he responds, twisting it open and squirting some on his finger. 

He brings his hands to your face, eyes intently focused on your cheek. You hiss the second his finger makes contact with your skin, the tingling sensation catching you off guard. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it hurts.” he whispers, smothering the cold gel down the side of your eye. 

“I-I fell on the pavement. My knees are pretty bad too, Eren.” you whisper, which he nods at. 

After he finishes, he’s carefully sliding the ends of your pants off and carefully placing the ointment on each of the jagged marks on your legs. And you eye the bowls of ramen at your side - knowing instantly that the one without mushrooms is yours - and reach for the food. The broth is so warm it soothes the aching feeling in your throat, still seasoned to perfection the way Eren always makes it. 

“Eren.” 

“Hm?” 

“Can I ask you a weird question?” 

“Sure.” 

“Are you and Lana dating?” 

He looks up from your leg and gives you a devilish smirk. And then starts laughing. Like full on, crouched over, tears from his eyes laughing.  

“Okay. It wasn’t that funny.” you murmur, rubbing your hands against the warm bowl and frowning. 

“Oh god, Y/N. Jesus-” 

“It’s a normal question! She lives with you, you trusted her to come get me, and you guys have a picture together in the hallway.” 

“Are you jealous?” he asks, standing up and leaning straight into your space. 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Are too.” 

“Am not.” 

“You don’t need to get all embarrassed. Watching you kiss Ricky James made me want to break something, preferably his neck.” 

You swallow hard at the mention of Ricky again, the thought of him and what happened was so far away because you were with Eren. In his space, in your shared bubble, after so long. And he catches on too fast because he’s already profusely apologizing. 

“Hey. I didn’t mean to bring him up, I-I’m not trying to push you into telling me what happened it’s just-” 

“No. No, Eren. It’s okay. I know. I-” 

You breathe in hard and put the bowl of ramen down and reach for his hands instead. You keep your eyes focused on them - on the little mole on his left hand, the feeling of his knuckles underneath your fingers, and on him squeezing your hands three times before you start talking.  

“Ricky and I were faking the relationship for PR. Since London Boy and all that, it was Danny and Sareen’s idea. That-that’s why I stopped talking to you, I-I felt bad. And I was ashamed that I was even doing it, I-I don’t know. The Little Women press and all that, it would just get people to stream and talk. Make me a triple threat. And then today, I- He told me he liked me. And I said I couldn’t do that right now. That I don’t like him back. I went to take out the trash because it was so awkward and then I was going to go home but he- he locked me out. And when I asked to come back in, he repeated the same words to me. That he couldn’t do that right now.” 

Eren lifts your hands, still locked with his, and presses a kiss to the top of your knuckles, as you continue. His lips burn your skin, still. 

“I was out there and it-it was cold. And then I heard the cars and I saw seven paparazzi trucks, right on the porch. Ricky, his address isn’t leaked. No-no one knew I was there or that he was but they all showed up, right when I was out there and-” 

“He called them, didn’t he?” Eren asks, his tone so harsh, so unyielding that it almost doesn’t sound like him. 

“Yeah. And I ran, for so long. I- they got a picture. A few, I know they did and I was just so, so scared that I was going to be out there forever, that I was all alone and they were just going to-” 

Eren reaches forward, wrapping you in his arms for what feels like the fiftieth time tonight, but you welcome it. Focus on his heart beating under your ear, running your fingers over his fish tattoo on his bicep, and on his soft, steady breaths. 

“Eren.” 

“Hm.” 

“You didn’t say anything. What are you thinking about?” 

“What I’m thinking isn’t productive for you to know right now.” 

You look up at him, giving him a questioning look. 

“Drop it, Y/N.” 

“No. Tell me. I’m sure you’re mad and all but-” 

“Mad? I’m fucking furious, I’m livid. That he fucking locked you out and left you in the cold. You-you could have been seriously hurt. You are hurt. And not only that, the fucking paparazzi. You-you ran in the cold, you fell, you can’t stop crying and-and- I’m going to kill this asshole when I see him next because it’s his fault you’re feeling like this.” 

“Eren.” 

“No. Shut up, Y/N. I’m being serious. I-I don’t like seeing you like this and don’t tell me not to. He hurt you. It’s that simple.” 

You deflate, knowing Eren too well to know that he won’t drop this. Especially when he’s overly passionate, deep in the feeling right now. 

“Okay. But can you just be here for me right now? I need you here and not all….tense and mad. B-Be soft. And warm.” 

He stops, the frustration in his forehead dissolving as he takes a breath and smiles at you. Not fully, but it does the job. 

“Okay. I can do that. Let’s watch Fruits Basket. And then go to bed.” 

“You hate Fruits Basket.” 

“But I love you. Enough to watch your weird bestiality adjacent show and pretend to like it.” 

You smile and he reaches forward to pinch your cheeks. 

“Look at that smile. There she is. There’s my sweet girl.” he whispers, voice all tangled in his throat. 

--

You wake up to an empty bed, Eren’s side cold. And you pull his hoodie on before padding downstairs to find Eren’s phone pressed to his ear. He gives you a wave and points to the plate - a mix of eggs, french toast, and fruits - perfectly placed to perfection. 

You give him a smile and he walks off, taking the phone with him. You frown as you watch him disappear, jabbing your fork through the cantaloupe. 

What is he talking about that’s so important he doesn’t want you to hear? 

You jump off of the stool and quietly pad towards the direction he walked, hiding in the hallway. He’s leaning against the wall, staring at the picture right across - one of Levi and Hange kissing your cheeks at the vow renewal - and angle yourself to hear his words. 

“Is he okay?” 

“I’m glad. You tell me if you need anything else, okay?” 

“Okay, Coco. I missed you too, yeah?” 

Who the fuck is Coco?

He hangs up and you immediately scramble back to the kitchen, trying your best to stay inconspicuous as he comes back and gives you a smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes, the expression on his face almost tired. 

“Hey sleepyhead. You okay?” 

“Mhm. Food is really good, Eren.” 

He gives you a smile as he sits at your side, eyes focused on you as you eat your food. He places both of your phones in front of you, and you spot yours with nearly a hundred notifications. But when you reach for it, Eren grabs your hand in the air and locks it on his own instead. 

“Just-wait. Eat first.” he says, his tone hollow.

You turn your head to the side and take in Eren’s expression, downtrodden and uncharacteristically unexpressive. The complete opposite of Eren yesterday - moony eyes and soft smiles. 

“Eren.” 

“Y/N. If I ask you to do this for me, can you trust me and listen?” 

“No. You-what’s wrong? You’re being weird.” you ask, reaching for his hand. 

He looks over, the look indiscernible, as he leans forward and presses a kiss to your cheek. 

“You-I took care of most of it, okay? Levi and Hange are coming. Just, don’t panic. You-it’s okay.” 

“Eren. You’re scaring me. Just tell me.” 

He takes a deep breath, cracking the knuckles in your hand as he nervously talks. 

“You-your pictures leaked. The ones of you running last night. And-and people started speculating really fast - wondering why you were running and crying on the night your album released instead of celebrating it. And-and then Ricky, he tweeted a bunch of things.” 

You pale. And reach for your phone, which Eren stops again. 

“They’re lies. Obviously. You don’t need to read them, not yet. And Lana told me she’s ready to back you up, whatever you want, when you need it. But, that’s not-” 

“What, Eren? Just spit it out.” you respond, frantically. 

“They- Ricky’s fans are mad at you. They’re sending you death threats.” 

“Oh.” 

You deflate, staring at the cold mess of breakfast on your plate. Death threats. Hate, you’re no stranger too. Of people commenting on your looks, how bad your singing is, how lame you are. But wishing you were dead? Full on, unbothered and cursing your existence? 

“And not just you, but your family too.” he whispers, watching your face fall. 

Your family. Your parents, Colt, Falco-

“Excuse me. What did you just say? 

Eren doesn’t respond and the tears fall immediately from your eyes, hot and angry as he reaches forward, immediately swiping them away. His expression's pained, he knows this all too well.

“I sent your family a security detail. Don’t worry. Colt was only minorly injured and-” 

You stand up and grab Eren’s shirt, bundling the fabric into a fist in your hands, as you glare at him. 

“Injured? What the fuck do you mean injured, Eren?” 

He sighs, lifting his hands to move yours, and hold them. You’re still clenching hard, so hard you’re sure you’re drawing blood, but he’s doing his best to uncurl your hands as he talks. 

“They threw a brick through the window. And the glass, Colt was sitting right there. I was just on the phone with Falco, he said he’s doing better. The security detailing has medical so you don’t have to worry about that again and they’re both okay and-” 

“No part of this is okay, Eren! Quit saying it’s okay when it’s not! They almost killed my brothers.” 

“Y/N.” 

“No. No, this is horrible, Eren. They-they don’t do any of this stuff. Falco’s barely thirteen. And Colt - he’s going to college. He’s not a celebrity, he’s not a singer, he’s just a student. How is he supposed to go out after this? Why- how is it supposed to be normal? And now, they’re going to be like us. They’re going to feel like they’re trapped in this fucking suffocating ass fish bowl and everyone’s watching and laughing at them and they just-” 

“Y/N. Stop. It’s not going to-” 

“Falco’s too soft for this. He’s just a kid, Eren. I can’t- no. This isn’t fair. Eren, they didn’t even do anything. They’re literally just related to me, they just love me and they’re getting hurt because of it. You- you’re probably getting dragged in the mud too. Everyone who helps me gets subjected to this, loving me comes with this big thing behind me and I can’t even keep people who get it with me. I let you go when you were the only person who understood and I messed it all up and got myself involved with Ricky James of all people and-” 

“Y/N. Stop. Please."

You sit flat on Eren’s floor, head in your hands, and cry, teardrops falling straight onto the floor. And Eren’s sitting there with you, with your big mess of jumbled feelings and mistakes, and trying his best to help you with it. 

That’s how Levi and Hange find you two, after pocketing the spare key Eren told them about. After he insistently called them and payed for a private jet, going on and on about how Y/N needed them. And here you two are, despite their original conceived notions that you two were fighting, on the floor, in each other’s arms. 

“Some things never change, huh?” Hange whispers. 

“Yeah. They keep fucking crying every time we see them.” he whispers back. 

--

Between Levi and Hange - Jean, Mikasa, and Connie who make it out that night - and Eren and Lana, they fix things. Most things. 

Ricky’s narrative about you is clear cut - half-true and half-fake. Your team forced him to date you and defend you for PR purposes, after the Girlfriend incident. There was an agreement that you two would write certain songs, make certain appearances, and support each other. 

But then Ricky turns the gate. Says that you’ve deeply, severely hurt him. That you led him on, that you used him to boost your own ego, and that you were dangerously obsessed with fame and not him. That you were all things - heartless, fake, that he doubted if you were even a real person. A glorious pop-star, empty and hollow on the inside.

And people jump on it fast. Citing the fact that you would throw away your friendship with Historia to be famous, that you stopped dating Eren when he stopped being successful, that you can go to tours but not to Mikasa or Jean’s birthday parties. 

The worst part? Ricky lied, but the things they pointed out were true. Every mistake you make is on display and that people make it a point to draw attention o it. That you really were in too deep, too deep into pleasing Sareen and Danny, and being a triple threat that you forgot that they were all there too. 

Eren, especially. Sweet, sweet Eren who saved you, who held you when you needed him. 

You look over at him and Lana, the two of them very aggressively debating how to use their last turn of their daily Wordle, and feel your heart deflate. 

You dropped the ball. You’ll never make it up to him. 

Lana, in her infinite kindness, has chosen to share her own story, as a corroboration for yours. That Ricky taunted, mocked, and harassed her the entire time they were dating. That you're anything but the things he says. Because she’s had enough and she’ll do it to help out her Tinky-Winky. (Much to Eren’s dismay, he hates that you’re both becoming closer as time goes on.) 

And to complement the announcement, Lana asked for one thing. To go out in style. You wrote a song with her and promised her that she was going to be the lead actress in the music video. A girl rage moment, like The Man. Danny and Sareen approve the move, making no comments or concerns about anything else that happened, and ask to be involved when the time comes. 

You sit on it for a few days. Till you’re ready. But where you are now - with these people - needs to stay for a little longer. Before you brace everything again. 

“Yo.” 

You smile, opening up space for Connie on the couch for you. 

“Hi Con.” 

“Deep in your thoughts there, princess. Thinking about how your album is about to go Multi-Platinum?” 

“No. Just the entire thing.” you respond, frowning. 

Connie rolls his eyes, reaching forward to squish your cheeks way too hard. 

“Ricky, when I catch you, Ricky-” Connie says under his breath, 

You snort, reaching forward to push Connie off. You focus back on Eren and Lana, who are now pulling each other's hair and a nice string of insults, as Mikasa and Levi brew their tea, entirely unbothered in the back. 

And when the screen in front of you flashes, when your third album goes Multi-Platinum after a week of being released, they’re all climbing on you. Jean and Mikasa are hollering in the back, Connie and Lana are jostling you in the air and pressing kisses to your cheek, and Eren, Levi, and Hange smile at you, the three of them enveloped in their own hug, across the way.

You split your separate ways at the end of the week, when you’re ready. Connie, Jean, and Mikasa return to set, Lana and Eren are gone with the wind, and Levi and Hange disappear again. 

When you sit on your plane back home, it sits in. How lonely this entire thing is. How a week full of your friends who love you only happened because of this sickening thing. That it's not a given, that they're presence is only in the bad times and almost never the good.

Your phone buzzes in your lap and you pick up your phone to read the notification. 

eren: don’t be a stranger. fish like to swim in schools, not alone. 

It’s something that rings in your mind, time and time again. When everyone else wins the war, when you keep performing and letting them take and take, for the sake of the work. For the art, for your dream.

And when you give up acting, singing, and dancing at the end of it all and make zero intentions to ever do any of this again, the question still bothers you.

If fish like to swim in schools, why did Eren push you so far away? Why was he so intent on swimming alone? Where you couldn't follow?

eren: I'm not saying that for you. and I know that this is selfish but...

eren: I need you just as much as you need me.

.

.

.

Fucking liar.

--

next part linked here

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@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms

[decembercamiecherries]

Killugon fanfic recs!

While answering an anon ask I realized I wanted to talk some more about my favorite hxh killugon fics! Specifically the ones that I don’t think show up as much on rec lists but I still adore and have bookmarked on my own ao3 page. So here we are!

All of these fics have less than 1k kudos! I’m including the link, title, author, length, au tags and a general review. Enjoy~

-

One Flew East, One Flew West by Senket

31k words, 1 chapter

Mental institution/modern au

This is one of those really long one shots that goes by soooo quickly and you’re shocked and super sad when it’s over. The climax made my heart a c h e. Also I love how obsessed Gon and Killua are pretty much immediately lol. 

-

winner x winner by Miah_Kat

2k words, 1 chapter

Post-canon AU

Fun, short and intense. You can really feeeeel how much Gon and Killua want each other in this fic, it made me want to scream into my pillow in the best way!

-

worth it by Alabaster_Gunship (nimery)

16.6k words, 1 chapter

Soulmate/what if AU

Obsessed with this particular soulmate au because it doesn’t follow canon events in the sense that Gon and Killua meet as adults rather than kids. Gon chases after Killua when Killua refuses to be with him, Killua stands up to Illumi when Illumi threatens Gon, their connection is immediate and intimate at the same time…I love it thank you. 

-

to the moon and to Saturn by tomiawka

95k words, 10 chapters

Modern childhood friends AU

I remember reading this fic as it updated weekly because I liked it so much  that I couldn’t wait until the whole fic was complete to read it. The climax really hurt but like 90% of this fic is pure fluff, seriously Gon and Killua are so cute in this fic. 

-

missing you is a slow burn by mysteryburn

10.8k words, 1 chapter

Canon universe/post-canon AU

30 snippets about killugon that made me cry, laugh, get choked up, smile, and so much more. Reading this fic felt like a religious experience because it is just so beautifully written. 

-

harbor lights by balconys

1.2k words, 1 chapter

Canon universe/post-canon AU

Kind of similar to the above fic, this is a 30 sentence fic of various killugon moments at various stages of their friendship/relationship. It’s shocking how much of a punch each of these sentences give in the best possible way. I hope I can convey such specific emotions in such little words one day.

-

the hormonal high schooler’s guide to falling in love series by perennials, specifically part 1 and 3

10.1k words, 5 parts

Modern high school au

Gon is like…super intense in these fics and he is 100000% focused on Killua and getting romantically involved with him, which is exactly my favorite kind of dynamic. Gon is the star of a sports team while Killua is student president so it’s got some good jockxnerd vibes going on. 

[villetela]

Fnaf LDR doodles again.

Warning!! There's blood and obsessive yandere LDR Sun!!

I'm normal I swear.. I totally didn't made a yandere LDR Sun cause I wanted to see how he is when he's a yandere.. Also while I was doodling.. During the scene where moon saw us with sun when it was couples skate or something.. I always wanted to know how moon reacted after seeing us.. I honestly felt bad for him 😔 I mean.. He spent a lot of effort trying to protect us and he did had some reward by kissing us but this made me concerned about moon during chapter 17.. I WANT TO SEE MOON AGAIN- I'M SORRY- also don't mind me making moon depressed 👍 there's sunhinged and now there's moonepressed lol. Also meet Sammy again!! She's wearing her Saturn glasses btw. Oh and I added my swap LDR Sun cuz I haven't drawn the bud after weeks. AU doesn't belong to me! Rightfully belongs to @spadillelicious (of course.) Sun's a bitch btw but I still love him. I WILL FOREVER BE A NUMBER ONE LDR SUN SIMP!!

[youremyheaven]

Sailor Moon & Nakshatras

I thought it'd be interesting to correlate the different Sailor Moons and their powers with the themes that are present in different nakshatras.

This is a super low effort post so all of it is just speculation and I'd love it if you guys told me what you associate with the different Senshi.

Other than Sailor Moon herself, there are 9 sailor senshi who protect the solar system.

Sailor Moon

A crystalline object which provides her basic power, contains limitless power and is the source of all energy in the universe. She can call upon her future self to use the power of both the future and present crystal to double its power.

she's the only one who has no power of her own and has to rely on some object so i guess that makes her Moon dominant??

Sailor Mercury

Sailor Mercury has the power to create and manipulate water. For the entire first story arc, she uses her water-manipulating capabilities only to create solid and dense clouds of mist and fog, chilling and blinding the enemy while her allies prepare more direct attacks

this is actually super on brand Mercury behaviour

Sailor Venus

I feel like Sailor Venus has more powers than other senshi??

It includes: Flight, Magic, Transformation, Longevity, Immortality (Type 4), Limited Shapeshifting, Teleportation, Forcefield, Light Manipulation, Energy Manipulation, Energy Projection, Weather Manipulation, Electricity Manipulation, Data Manipulation, Creation, Reincarnation (Overtime not applicable in battle), Can Survive in Space, Resistance to Mind Manipulation, Death Manipulation, Existence Erasure, Gravity Manipulation, Radiation Manipulation, Poison Manipulation, Power Nullification, Resistances to Status Effect Inducement and Soul Manipulation, Resistance to Telekinesis etc

idk if this is Venus' "being better than others" theme lol but i feel like these are powers that belong to all 27 naks and not just Venus

Sailor Mars

Precognition: Rei is shown to have strong precognition, where she can make full use of this ability to predict events from the near future, but it can fail sometimes.

Pyromancy: Rei is also shown to have a great affinity with fire, to the point where she is capable to manifest her future sights by forming images on the flames. The images are very enigmatic and unreliable.

Purification: Even when she is in her civilian form, she can use her "ofuda" (a Shinto talisman used to protect homes from evil spirits) to "exorcize" people, while yelling "Evil Spirit, Disperse!" (although it can cause normal people to faint, as shown in episode 10 when she tried to "purify" Usagi).

Sixth Sense: Rei is sometimes shown to have a "sixth sense", using it to detect "evil presences" and approaching danger, as shown in Chapter 6 of Codename: Sailor V manga, but it can fail sometimes when she mistook Usagi for an evil spirit.

Expert Archer: As a Shrine Priestess, she is an expert archer, and this potential is shown in her "Mars Flame Sniper" attack.

these are a variety of powers that don't really all connect to Mars energy, it's giving strong Venus & Jupiter vibes tbh

i associate the purification, pyromancy and precognitive abilities with Venus and the sixth sense, expert archer ones with Jupiter

Sailor Jupiter

Electrokinesis, martial arts, longevity, and "emphasized superhuman strength"

these powers are a bit random, i guess the author wanted to emphasize martial arts and physical strength with the masculine grahas but I get more Mars and Sun vibes ngl

Sailor Saturn 

Daughter of a possessed mad scientist, a terrible lab accident in her youth significantly compromised her constitution. After overcoming the darkness that has surrounded her family, she is able to become the Soldier of Silence, Sailor Saturn. She wields forces of destruction so powerful that she is rarely called upon to use them, and unlike the others, her Senshi and civilian personae seem somewhat disconnected. She is often pensive, and as a human has the inexplicable power to heal others.

this backstory is in itself very Saturnian and I think Saturnians do suffer a lot of abuse and injustice in their lives. So all Saturn naks like UBP, Anuradha & Pushya

Sailor Pluto

Manipulation and control of spacetime, Time Wave Generation Teleport others over short or vast distances. Open rifts or doorways in space through different eras Freeze all of time (forbidden) Erect a shield of time-space energy

i mean it goes without saying but this is literally Punarvasu & Swati. both these naks have themes of space and time travel

Sailor Uranus

she possesses powers associated with the wind and sky, precognition, as well as sword combat.

this is giving me Mars & Venus energy, more specifically Bharani as it is a Venusian nakshatra in the Mars ruled rashi of Aries

Sailor Neptune

exceptionally strong psychic abilities and is the only Outer Scout who has such powers and she can channel the power of the ocean. 

I associate Neptune's abilities with Pisces (neptune rules pisces so this is a no brainer) and I connect it to PBP, UBP & Revati

[taxreturnslut]

Just posting this so I have an idea of where all the pieces are at the end of Egghead:

(for real, don't read this if you haven't caught up with chapter 1123)

1 - the strawhat pirates, *Lilith, Bonney, Kuma and the giant pirates are now heading to elbaf.

2 - Trafalgar Law & Bepo are at some unknown location, heavily beaten, the rest of the crew remains at large. Their pirate ship has been sunk.

3 - Eustass Kidd & his crew's current status is unknown, but they were last spotted near Elbaf. (I am assuming they are still alive because this is one piece.) ((Potential reunion with the strawhats incoming?))

4 - the Marines, Kizaru and St. Saturn are at Egghead. (This arc definitely seemed to be sowing seeds of doubt into Kizaru's resolve in the Marines.) They could possibly head to Elbaf, like the fleet is still at Egghead and they know the giant pirates are with Luffy so it would make sense to continue pursuit. But they also may stick behind to clean up Egghead. It is also worth noting that they thought they destroyed the civilian ship that was leaving. I am not sure if this will be brought back up, but afaik they don't think there are any civilian survivors from egghead.

4.5 - SWORD, recovered Koby and left Garp behind. Currently discussing their next steps while Koby resolves to stop Luffy.

5 - Vegapunks. All dead except for Lilith and York. York does not know Lilith is still alive.

6 - The Revolutionary Army is still at Kambakka Island. Sabo has informed Dragon & Iva about the existence of Imu. And VP's broadcast confirmed Sabo's story about Lulusia so they have no reason to doubt him.

7 - the world knows about an ancient weapon, the rising sea levels, the disappearance of Lulusia, & that the void century exists.

8 - Perona was last seen on Hachinosu trying to free Moria but we don't know the results of that.

9 - the Cross Guild is hyping themselves up to find the one piece thanks to Buggy strengthening his resolve.

10 - Shanks, annihilated Kidd and then presumably bounced from Elbaf, whereabouts unknown.

11 - Blackbeard is about to learn a lot of thanks to Caribou. It's unclear if he has returned to Hachinosu and seen the aftermath of the raid. *Blackbeard is confirmed not at Beehive as of 1121, doubtful he's made it there within the last two chapters.

12 - Smoker was last seen leaving the SWORD HQ presumably after talking with X Drake, current destination is unknown. *I take this back up on further review it seems like Smokey is heading towards the hospital/SWORD

13 - it is worth noting that the gorosei (minus Saturn) have returned to Mary Geoise. We also keep getting small frames of the dude with moon shaped hair who's name I'm forgetting. So something will presumably happen with them + him and his other holy knights.

There are so many moving parts and I still feel like I'm forgetting something. If anyone knows something I messed up or knows a person or group I missed pls let me know.

14 - we got a new silhouette a chapter or two ago. Man marked by flames?

15 - CP0. We know Lucci, Kaku & Stussy are still on Egghead. It's unclear but it seems like their loyalty to the WG is starting to waver.

16 - Vivi & Wapol are aboard Big News Morgan's airship. Vivi is wanted by Imu & we learned she is a bearer of the will of D & Wapol witnessed King Cobras assassination as well as the forms of the gorosei. We do not know what part of the world they are flying over.

17 - The Straw hat grand fleet is currently out and about in the world. I mention them because at the end of Dressrosa we were told they are the cause of some historic event, so we shouldn't forget about them.

18 - the og Stussy is on Sphinx island with Marco. We saw Weevil captured by greenbull and it seems like Marco is being pressure to save him.

* Thank you @brookstolemybrand for the help! I really appreciate it!!

** Please read through the comments. I did not remember this all on my own and had a lot of help. I appreciate everyone who mentioned something.

[talonabraxas]

Orion ✨ About The Constellation Orion

Let us remember the “Constellation of Orion” of the Egyptians; it is evident that this constellation is governed by 12 Great Masters. Esoterically it is said that those 12 Masters assist each other, but the 6th is always missing, meaning that “In order to attain SeIf-Realisation it is necessary to rend the veil of Isis” or, that is, the Adamic Sexual Veil.

Only in liberating oneself from sex in an absolute manner can one reach final liberation. The difficulty in all of this is, as the saying goes: “wanting to saddle the horse before you’ve caught it”. That is to say, the information given by all of those schools who say that one must liberate one self from sex, but without having fabricated the Solar Bodies.

Firstly, the Solar Bodies must be fabricated, and then sex must be renounced. That is the right way of things, and the things of the right way. In the work, first it is the animal, and later, the spiritual.

The constellation of Orion has a marked influence upon the atomic star which guides us internally which is Ain Soph Paranishpanna, our intimate star. As one Master said: “I raise my eyes to the stars from whence must come my help, but I am always guided by my Star which I have within”.

(Samael Aun Weor, Tarot And Kabbalah, Excerpts from Chapter 37, Arcanum Nº 15)

In Atlantis existed seven important oracles in the physical world, where men studied the wisdom of the stars and consulted the sidereal Gods. The guardians of those mysteries were great initiates. In the oracle of Mars, Martian occultism was taught; in the oracle of Jupiter, the Jupiterian religion; in the oracle of Venus, the arts, and Venusian knowledge; in the oracle of Saturn, the wisdom of Saturn; in the oracle of the Moon, lunar occultism; in the oracle of Mercury, Mercurian wisdom; and in the solar oracle, our Gnostic wisdom.

The ancient priests taught their disciples how to interpret the firmament. Those signs are interpreted basing oneself on the law of philosophical analogies, for example: if you see black stars with your clairvoyance, there is failure for thee. If you see a star fall from heaven at the moment when a friend leaves on a trip, there is going to be a funeral for thy friend. If the star falls on someone, or close to someone important, that personage will die. If a wandering star passes before thee by surprise, someone is leaving thee. If you see two yellow stars separating from each other, it means “war”.

Through thy esoteric studies thou shalt remain under the direction of some planetary genii, and they shall call thee by means of luminous signs that thou shalt learn to recognize. Thou should also comprehend the sparkle of thy celestial Father’s star when he calls thee to instruct thee in the mysteries of Light.

This earth, so dense, that thou inhabits today, will in a remote day be etheric and we will then have the celestial Jerusalem where neither tears nor pain exist. By then, the constellation of Orion which has brought so much bitterness to the world through the north, will shine illuminating a world full of glee and happiness.

“After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will show thee things which must be hereafter”.

“And immediately I was in the spirit: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne”.

“And he that sat was to look upon like a jasper and a sardine stone: and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald”.

“And round about the throne were four and twenty seats: and upon the seats I saw four and twenty elders sitting, clothed in white raiment; and they had on their heads crowns of gold”.

“And out of the throne proceeded lightnings and thunderings and voices: and there were seven lamps of fire burning before the throne, which are the seven spirits of God”.

“And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind”.

“And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle”.

“An the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come”.

“And when those beasts give glory and honor and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever”.

“The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth for ever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying’ç

“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created”. (Revelation 4)

May the most profound peace reign in thy hearts.

(Samael Aun Weor, Zodiacal Course, Excerpt from the Chapter “Pisces)

[satur9-if]

What is Saturnine?

Saturnine is an English word that describes a gloomy, bitter, dull, moody and melanchonic person or setting. More archaically, it can be used to describe something related to Saturn, the sixth planet of the Solar System, most known for its picturesque rings and a record number of moons.

It's also an Interactive Fiction project about androids.

In Saturnine, a text-based game written in ChoiceScript, you take the role of a rogue android traversing the moons of Saturn in a bizarre world 1207 years into our future. Survival is difficult, with only a handful of allies to help you withstand the wrath of humanity, but perhaps there is hope for a better future. Perhaps some of your enemies can be made into allies, if not something more, and perhaps the Kronian Federation will grant clemency to your group of outcasts if you only do them one little favor...

The project is currently in its WIP stage, with thirteen complete chapters (537K words total) available to the player, with multiple routes and romance options included. Though the story is close to completion, all feedback is welcome and may result in changes yet.

Public Demo

CoG Forum Thread

[inklings-challenge]

2024 Team Tolkien Story Archive

Secondary World

All Things Great and Small by @supreme-leader-stoat (unfinished)

Ananse and the Haunted House Club: The Old Poe Place by @rosesnvines: Chapter One

Beyond the Starless Sky by @starknightgirl (unfinished)

The Executioner's Sword by @ladyminaofcamelot

Field Work by @phoebeamorryce

The First Magic Lesson by @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord

From the Other Side of the End of the World by @fictionadventurer

Homecoming by @shakespearean-fish (unfinished)

Honor Among Devils by @icwasher

Inklings Challenge 2024 by @secret--psalms--saturn

Inspired by True Events by @plainshobbit (unfinished)

The Invincible Spell by @bunnyscar (unfinished)

The Lake and the Moon by @rowenabean

The Princess, the King, and the Troubadour by @ladyminaofcamelot

Saint and Sinner by @brisingirl (unfinished)

Son of the Dragon King by @taleweaver-ramblings

Stolen Moments by @fictionadventurer

The Top of the World by @physicsgoblin

Unfinished Tolkien Entry by @shaylalaloohoo (unfinished)

Untitled by @catkin-morgs-kookaburralover

Untitled by @find-the-path (unfinished)

The Woodsman by @ripple-reader (unfinished)

Time Travel

Castaway by @incomingalbatross

Cherished Emery by @simplyghosting

Familiarity by @phoebeamorryce

From the Other Side of the End of the World by @fictionadventurer

In Saecula Saeculorum by @kanerallels

Last Rest by @thegreenleavesofspring

One Last Chance by @ladyminaofcamelot

Playing Catch-up by @lydiahosek

The Princess, the King, and the Troubadour by @ladyminaofcamelot

Stones of Memory by @healerqueen

Tell Me About This Time Loop, Again? by @larissa-the-scribe (unfinished)

Warning Signs by @fictionadventurer

[julianalvarez9]

best kept secret / pedri

request: ig au with pedri, anything please 🫶🏻

summary: barcelona's new photographer is pedri's best friend from his childhood. or something more?

yourusername

Liked by pedri, pablogavi and 405.068 others.

yourusername he's trying so hard to be as cool as me 😴 pedri

View all 133.294 comments

pedri es al revés pero bueno lo que digas bonita (it's the other way around but ok whatever you say pretty)

yourusername dios que molesto eres 🙄 (god you're so annoying 🙄)

fcbarcelona

Liked by pedri, yourusername and 4.901.194 others.

fcbarcelona bienvenido de vuelta, pedri!!

View all 1.958.924 comments

pablogavi y yo? :( (and me? :( )

pedri perdón hermano la fotógrafa estaba muy distraída con mí hermosa cara (sorry mate the photographer was too distracted with my beautiful face)

yourusername no te voy a sacar más fotos (i'm not taking any more pics of you)

pedrifan1 SAY SORRY RN pedri

yourusername

Liked by pedri, pablogavi and 694.005 others.

yourusername otro deporte en el que es malo 😋 (another sport where he sucks 😋)

View all 201.824 comments

pedri hice un alley oop de qué hablas ??? (did an alley oop what are you talking about ???)

pedrifan1 excuse me was I the only one that saw the little kiss?????

pedrifan2 NO BESTIE I'M GOING INSANEEEE

pedrifan3 están juntos??? (are they together???)

pablogavi ni ellos saben (they don't even know)

pedrifan1 pablogavi WTF?????

yourusername

Liked by pedri, pablogavi and 701.493 others.

yourusername feliz cumpleaños, bonito. hasta la luna y saturno 🪐 (happy birthday, pretty boy. to the moon and to saturn 🪐)

View all 301.193 comments

gavi me perdí un capítulo ? (missed a chapter ?)

pedri te dije que la fotógrafa estaba distraída con mí bella cara (told you the photographer was distracted with my pretty face)

yourusername no te golpeo ahora porque es tu cumpleaños 👹 (i won't hit you rn bc it's your birthday 👹)

pedri te amo bonita. hasta la luna y saturno ❤️‍🔥 (i love you pretty girl. to the moon and to saturn ❤️‍🔥)

♥️ liked by creator.