#to see their eggs yknow...🥺

[efverse]

be gentle

[base0h]

Yknow i kinda feel like I live in ur ask box but I just cannot get enough of how you write 💟💟 I suppose I’m feeling mischievous because, how do you think the monster trio would react to you asking them to open a pickle jar because ‘you can’t open it’ but in reality you glued it shut as a prank 💀

a/n - anime you can live here rent free if you want 💜 oml everytime you request im excited!! your requests are so funny 😭

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader

- idk if there’s a jar he can’t open but- you were determined to make this one absolutely impossible to open

- super glue always seemed to work, so you glued the cap onto the jar and ran over to find Luffy lying on the couch, napping away as usual

- you tapped his nose and he sat upright pretty quickly, rubbing his eyes

- “Hey Lu, can you open this for me? I cant open it.”

- He grinned, flexing his arms with a laugh, “Shishishi~ gimme it!”

- he took it and expected for the cap to fly off, but instead, it stayed put while his hand spun around the cap

- …

- the silence was so loud 💀

- “AGHHHHH WHY WONT IT OPEN?!”

- man tried opening it with his feet 💀 Idek if you wanna eat the pickles anymore bro

- he could easily break the jar, but he didn’t want to waste the pickles 😭

- while he was fuming about it in the corner, sobbing about how he’d become so weak because he can’t open the jar, you switched it out, grabbing one you had already opened before

- “Oh i got it, nevermind!”

- he literally shot up, staring at the open jar in your hands

- man was sobbing 😭

- “I’VE GOTTEN SO WEAK Y/N- I don’t even deserve to be your boyfriend anymore-“

- you felt so bad- so you ended up giving him the entire pickle jar to himself which made him forget about this incident

- you promised yourself never to do that again because he cried for a solid 45 minutes about how he wouldn’t be able to protect you anymore and how useless he is 🫠

- you could ask him anything and he’d do it without thinking twice

- a full 7 course meal? Please, that’s easy

- a whole bouquet of hand arranged flowers? Of course!

- opening a pickle jar would be nothing, or at least he thought so

- you decided it’d be funny to see his reaction if he couldn’t open the jar because you had glued it shut beforehand

- after you borrowed some glue from Usopp, you went to ask Sanji to open it

- “Hey Sanji, can you open this for me? I was gonna make egg salad!”

- he took it with a smile. The thought of eating the food you made fueled his motivation and strength to open this jar

- he was actually pretty confused why it wouldn’t open when he tried to screw it off

- he tried several more times before he hurriedly rushed off to the kitchen, ransacking the drawers for a jar opener, pliers, anything

- he did literally everything- banging the jar against the counter, using the pliers, twisting it with the jar opener, and at one point, he held the jar opener so tight that he broke it in half😭

- he even tried stabbing a hole in the top!

- nothing succeeded

- he was at this for about 15 minutes 💀

- when he came out with such a depressed look on his face, you couldn’t help but regret playing this little prank on him

- “Sorry- I couldn’t open it..”

- he was about to cry I swear 😭

- you gave in, how could you let him feel so sad?! It was just a joke after all-

- “It was a joke Sanji don’t worry- I glued it shut beforehand.. Sorry for joking about it-“

- 1, he was kind of sad that you’d play a prank like that on him. And 2, you really weren’t gonna make the egg salad?.. 🥺

- “Can you still make the egg salad though?”

- his eyes were sparkling- omfg how could you say no?!

- you made the egg salad for him with the other jar of pickles, and made sure to give him lots of hugs and kisses afterwards 💜

- you always made everything better. even if you’re the one who made things worse in the first place

- is there anything this man can’t do? he can’t take a shower or find the bathroom.

- anyways- there’s almost nothing that this man cannot do

- you’re a shit stirrer (affectionate) so you decided to superglue a jar shut, expecting him to struggle with opening it

- “Zoro can you open this? I cant open it.”

- he took it with a yawn and tried opening it the first try, and it wouldn’t budge

- man almost opened his other eye from shock, why tf wouldn’t it open??

- he kept trying it before he used his sword to slice he cap off quickly

- you were about to start wheezing, zoro couldn’t open a jar of pickles

- “Shut it y/n I know you’re laughing” that sent you to heaven and back omg you were on the floor, struggling to breathe

- “SHUT UP!”

- his pride was gravely wounded after this- roronoa zoro, defeated by jar of pickles

- he was sulking for a while, ignoring you like a big baby

- “Zoro it was a joke- it was superglued shut.”

- he pinned you against the wall, leaning close to your ear, “I’m gonna show you what happens when you play jokes on me like that.”

- his tone was almost a growl, and he started dragging you back towards the room

- this is when you realized, why weren’t you in the hallways by now?

- “ZORO- THE ROOM IS THE OTHER WAY DUMBASS!”

- “I- WELL- YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THAT.”

- “DON’T GET ALL SEDUCTIVE AND THEN FORGET WHERE THE ROOM IS YOU IDIOT 💀”

a/n - pls zoro is so dumb sometimes

[wolfsetfree-if]

okay so i have three mcs currently (will probs make three more, so i have two of each wolf type). this will get LONG so. sorry? maybe?

-

my mainiest main: my gamma boy. he has curly dark brown hair and one brown and one green eye, he's average height and has a lean build, a bit lanky honestly, plus he'd want to wear oversized soft clothes and would probably look skinnier than he actually is. his wolf form has long fur dappled with black and would, in dimmer lighting, probably look totally black, but in the sun i'd imagine the warmer brown would come out. like a little surprise. a kinder egg. lol.

he is currently having A Bad Time. (obviously). in the beginning of captivity, he would have been very jittery and tense and constantly tried to find ways to escape (and we know how that ended, so), but now that hyper-vigilance has taken a toll and he's honestly quite disassociated and numb. very tired, but also can't stop being on guard. he has had no control for so long, but knowing/seeing exactly what was/is happening around him helps a little.

as far as being rescued... he's glad to be free, obviously, but he doesn't trust the pack (even if he's grateful) and doesn't know how to even begin to process his emotions, so he's feeling both overwhelmed and numb at the same time, and can't really believe it really. he has not taken any chances to get closer to the pack (so no pets or cuddling), because any touch sends him into an anxious spiral. plus he's naturally quite introverted and being around people can be overwhelming and tiring, and now that's amplified times a billion. but when he feels a bit calmer and safer, i think he'll honestly like a little bit of cuddling and being petted and might discover that he's a bit touch-starved. he will bond with the pack eventually, though, and enjoy spending time with all of them. he would love to learn how to knit, for example, or help out in the garden or play card games or draw or paint or maybe help the pups with schoolwork. he'd be good at that, i think. he's very patient and actually good at School Stuff (mostly math and science). i think he'll fit into the pack nicely eventually, and one day it will feel like a true home, and a real family... HIS family, and it will probably be the happiest day of his life, when he realizes that.

-

my second main: my little but actually giant omega. he is actually tall, but he's like. an awkward/skinny/shy/gentle giant, lol. he has blonde hair and brown eyes, and his wolf form (long fur because fluffy and soft!) has white patches. sort of like a cow print. which is very cute.

the captivity... it was just very sad for him, honestly. obviously wearing a collar and being petted like a dog wasn't good or nice, but he's extremely touch-starved and wants to be around people. he's shy, like i said, so he doesn't necessarily want to be in the centre, but he wants to be with family, a pack, and the djinn wasn't that, of course, but it was something other than bare walls and cage bars, yknow? he feels extremely sad and lonely.

then he's so happy and overwhelmed at being rescued and he has latched on to bela very strongly. he takes any chance for pets and feels safe and protected around the alpha (since they're so kind and gentle and welcoming). he loved the pups. he wants to adopt them. he wants to be a full-time nanny for them. he also loved cuddling kesha. they can be cuddle-buddies forever. honestly i can sum him up with this emoji: 🥺

-

my third: my alpha. a small ball of rage. well. sort of. he's just the teeny tiniest bit shorter than average (if you ask him), but he has that angry chihuahua vibe for sure. he has black hair and intense blue eyes, and is quite muscular. but like athletic more than buff gym-bro. i don't know if a trans mc has had the opportunity to have any surgeries, and if they haven't, he would feel quite dysphoric in human form and wear a binder pretty much 100% of the time (not healthy! bad!) and his wolf form makes him happier, or at least more comfortable. wolves don't have boobs.

as for the captivity... he has been in a perpetual state of rage (well, despair + loneliness + hopelessness, too, but it all manifests as anger because it's easier) for years, and he's not about to stop now. the feeling of being powerless and having any and all autonomy and choice taken from him has been devastating in a way i can't even describe, and he has no coping mechanisms aside from anger and fighting.

being free now is. fuck yeeeeeaaah. fuck the djinns and fuck that cage and fuck his old pack. he's very happy about being out of that stupid cage and away from the djinns but he's very tense around the pack (even if he likes them, so far, mostly), because letting his guard down would mean showing weakness and he's refused to do that for so long, so when he eventually manages to settle a bit and start to process his trauma i think he will really struggle with accepting that the anger was also grief and fear. but he will eventually come to trust and love the pack so much and feel so protective of all of them, because they'll be his real family, and he won't have to be all alone ever again.

-

mm. well. as i said. very long. hope you enjoyed lol

You have one wolf better than the other I swear. I love how they are all at different stages of acceptance and elaboration of their grief and captivity. And I love how they all have different attachment styles with the pack.

You'll get to experience all the different variations with them!

[dogmasquerade]

@ all star wars fic writers who write darth vader redemption content- stop taking him out the suit you COWARDS if i see one more "ohh he got out the ugly stinky suit and now he's beautiful again! 🥺" IM GONNA BITE SOMEONE.

Darth Vader is the suit, the suit is Darth Vader; without the suit he is nothing. he is evolved beyond just a mere man he is an eternal symbol of victory and defeat and failure and success. a remnant machine with no purpose standing empty in the dead empire before him honouring ghosts who hate every inch of him. he is a man made and broken by pain. he looks in the mirror and sees only red. Anakin Skywalker is dead but he's a dead man walking. the suit is no more seperate than his own skin. he cannot shed what he has become he owes up to his history- he owes it that much (he owes it so much more) the mask is a penace for sins inescapable. it is his albatross about his throat, its rotting weight choking him, indistinguishable from his own carrion flesh.

plus. yknow. you don't think of darth vader and think of bald white egg. you think of the suit. stop taking him out the suit. if i wanted him raw i'd look in sith anakin tags.

[fictionfixations]

part 2 of the new book 7 update cause i have more mystium

spoilers of course part 1

part 3 the final part

the way i just got the widest smile at this

anyway i forgot to mention it last post but knowing that they were just kinda left alone while everyone went to nrc makes me really sad. like first silver and sebek without lilia and malleus (they have sebbies family tho)

and then silver left next year. sebek all alone. he has his family still but like. man. gone for a year.

and in that time he was alone he got his signature spell and worked hard on it not wanting any of them to know about it until he got better at it, but it also meant that they never knew he could do that because they werent there and im just sad :( and it sometimes makes me wish at least silver and sebek were the same age so they couldve gone the same year and sebek didnt have to be without their company for so long

fshuidf i clicked past it like a dumbass but heres anther instance of baur saying he'll swallow them whole similar to sebek's battle start line

going to cry now because what the fuck 100k hp i hate myself my strongest units are really low hp BEAT THEIR ASS GEN LILIA oh my god they do so much damage im going to cry good news is i dont think theres another battle after this so this is.. fine.

and this time i didnt head straight to it and miss all the buffs from like the camps and stuff 💀 also i actually have more built cards this time before this i only had like one other casualty, that being the dorm sebek they give you (i only managed to have him duo off of gen lilia once and then i never got the spells to line up after that and then he died). so now its my whole team + dorm sebek thanking myself for leveling the spells of the other riddles i got that i did for no reason other then cause i like riddle (no intention of actually using them considering i already have a perfectly fine dorm riddle) LMFAO also thank battlemap for letting you bring a shit ton of characters. i havent used epel in forever 😭(rook is also VERY underleveled lmfao)

also im a dumbass i kept using the healing spells first turn.. ..but it didnt even do anything because i need to take damage first so its like. why did i do that. did i think id get my health lost in a previous battle back..?????

😱

aww the sparkles bruhs accomplished his lifes dream and i am here for it 👍

NOO GUYS LISTEN TO HIMM

he gave us his cloak 🥺

know i said id set my homescreen to sebek but... this feels more fitting

i wish that you didnt have to complete a book to get the backgrounds. i want my book 7 backgrounds with the music :(((

like i want. the the the. yknow when silver is confident in lilias love for him again and in the background you hear like i think once upon a dream? or i saw a prince(?? idk the other name for it its just what ive heard) and i. i want that. it also played when we see the dawn knight in the the the area where you travel across dreams where he smiled and then faded away

i dont have lilias room so silver will have to do

i need two more mystium aghhhhh the wait is insufferable but since im almost finished im gonna wait before posting

i watched someone go through the story on jp and i just remember stressing out so bad because holy fuck what happened what do we do. like i was feeling that stress of AHH GOTTA GET EGG AWAY and worry over maleanor but now i know what happened so im a little less stressed. im still stressed in the sense of FUCK YOU FUCK YOU BATTLES but like.. im not hanging in suspense anymore

anyway i think im gonna end it after battlemap is finished and do another post for the chapters outside of battlemap. especially because i dont want to hit the image limit. i cant remember if theres another battlemap but i dont THINK there should be.

anyway questioning why im making another post when i ended first post pretty early and couldve edited it? because people whove already seen it wont see it again 💀 and i mean if they wanna see book 7 stuff when the update only happened like 3 hours ago then ok ill show you what i can and make it visible enough for you to notice in the event youve already seen the other post

anyway while im waiting for one more mystium im warning you that if you cried the last update, to prepare to cry again. book 7 is just really sad man.

okay im gonna stop it here on THIS post (i will still be playing) and keep an eye out for part 3 with the rest (assuming theres not more story then i can make images of)

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

hiya moosh!! i just wanted to say that I think you're really cool <3 it's always super nice to find someone else who also likes the pretty blue man a little too much lmao

oh yea, I saw you posting about fire emblem as well & since I've kinda been side eyeing the series for a while (dimitri is tempting), I was wondering if you could kinda tell me what it's like?? bc idk if I should get into it or not, yknow?

anyways, I hope you have a great day/ night!!

Hi!!! And aww thank you that's very sweet 🥺and Yeah vergil 👉👈

Fire emblem.

Alright, this is going to be very very gameplay heavy advice/a look of what the game is besides the story because fire emblem is a VERY gameplay heavy game and it can get very frustrating the first time you play especially and it's going the majority of your playtime so it's good to see a little bit of what you're getting into.

Okay, first off: majority of fire emblem games are stand alone meaning you can play a good majority of them in any order and it doesn't matter - there might be a reference or a cool easter egg or or there but nothing too important but I wouldn't worry about any of that if you're curious about the other games because three houses I think is the second best place to start when it comes to "modern" fire emblem - the first being fire emblem awakening but you absolutely don't have to if you don't have a 3ds or just if three houses interests you more (*cough cough* Dimitri) since again, most fire emblem games are stand alone and not connected.

But what is fire emblem?

Off the bat fire emblem is a turned base strategy game, where you have you're army and an enemy army and you fight on a map in goal to wipe each other out or capture an objective. If this isn't you're type of game, unfortunately, this entire franchise isn't for you.

But if it is - the rest of this post is basic advice you want if you want to get through three houses and any other fire emblem game if that's your interest:

Important note: Now I'm personally not really good at the explaining in depth ingame mechanics when it comes to exactly how like the stats and interworks of like how maps and stuff work if you want further stuff like that I recommend only one fire emblem youtuber named mekkah (click able link to his channel) and NO ONE else because straight face the fire emblem youtube sphere shit is fucking dogshit and stay all away from a channel called Mangs, Mekkah has a video further explaining why not that long ago on his channel if you're further curious but it's fucked.

Now, the basics and advice I can give gameplay wise:

You are going to have to choose between two gameplay modes casual and classic.

Casual mode means your units (playable characters) don't die upon defeat and will return the next chapter/battle. This was introduced in awakening and I 100% advise on every time when you first play a fire emblem game start on this mode so you can safely get through story and experience it before replaying for more of a challenge with classic mode.

Classic basically speaks for itself, units will die when theur hp is at zero and in most cases you can't get them back (now three houses has a way but its more risky to do and not that abuseble but when you play through the game it'll explain it much better so I'll leave it here)

Pair up units

when you put two units together they get stat bonuses and their support - or friendship/romance will increase and will go towards unlocking support conversations which is... self explanatory, are overpowered but absolutely do not be afraid to use them because there are some maps that are fucking impossible without it.

Classes

Self explanatory but these are the roles your units play - archer, healer, pegasus knight, berserker, ect. There's a lot to this and each character has their own specialty and/or what they start our as, I'll just say maybe stick to a base of what character start as like if a character like Mercedes for example is clearly a magic and healer type unit it's best to stay in that type of circle and play around with upgraded classes that go best into those skills and like not waste a skill change on making her like idk... a brawler? Because by the time you get to mid game stuff her stats won't really be... the best so feel free to experiment but with each character try to stay in classes where clearly their "best effort" can be put into.

Lords

Every fire emblem game had a lord, in three houses of course you get one of three lords depending on the route you choose. Keep them and your player character alive or game over, simple.

Absolutely keep your healers safe!

Self explanatory but in this games the further you are into later chapter maps the more enemy reinforcements there are so healers are like the most important thing or you to keep alive/in the battle and unless they're duel class you magic to defend themselves they tend to be fairly frail. But don't just depend on your healers make sure your units have healing items on them at all times!

Advice for three houses specifically:

Don't do the church route first. you'll get an option while playing Edelgard's route to see her be coronated you want to do this if you want to go full Edelgard's side you will get an option to either side with her or the church. Both are really hard runs, but the church route is ungodly REALLY DIFFICULT, I do not recommend taking first ESPECIALLY when it's you're first fire emblem game, I can't stress this enough. Holy shit.

Now, you said you're interested in Dimitri though I'm guess blue lions will be your first play through and I definitely recommend it being so because ALL of the blue lions are extremely, extremely good and fucking powerhouse. Dimitri. Post timeskip. Can. Solo. Just. About. Anything (best possible pair up is him with player character and those final chapters, still will be very hard but they will be so much better)

if blue lions is going to be you're first route and you're planning to new game+ the other routes, were you can recruit students from other houses if you have high enough support date for (I think it's B?);

GET FELIX. MAKE HIM A FUCKING DANCER.

(If you don't know this will make sense when you get to a point in the story)

Do every. Prologue. You. Can. Trust me the experience will pay off especially in late game when you're on a time crunch and you're nearing the end chapters. But watch out for Marianne, Seteth, and Lysthia's prologue chapters they are very unfair 🙃

This can go with any fire emblem game but spend your money wisely you're going to need to buy expensive material for higher quality weapons.

Good luck in the final chapter of Claude's route, you will need it, it takes a very long time.

The monastery is very... newish to fire emblem, fe fates had something similar but not exactly, but make sure you do everything you can in the monastery before moving on with the next chapter some parts extremely useful especially with support grinding.

This can be said about any fire emblem game but DON'T RUSH. Three houses story is very good, but don't rush through it because it'll only make things harder and less fun because those timeskip maps are a rude fucking awakening when you're units are barely trained and you can barely fight through the map and you might come risk of soft locking yourself if you save right before with no other back up saves to rely upon to go back and prepare a bit that being said -

There are like 24 save files. Use them. You can never be too careful of soft locking and it would suck if you're twenty hours in and having to reset completely because in your current save your stuck with no possible chance of completing a map.

And finally just pay attention to what the game tells you it'll probably explain it better than I possibly can and just have fun with it :)

Oh and blue lions, in my opinion, is the best house and has best campaign of all four - and that's not just the Dimitri simp talking. I mean while I think, as someone whose played these games for a very long time, had one of the best characters arcs in fire emblems history that does goes hand in hand with Edelgard's, there is not a dull member of the blue lions I think that doesn't add anything to Azure moon's narrative. Everyone in this house is used to their fullest potential whether it be family connections that tie to the plot and/or just connections they have to Dimitri, you know the dumpster fire of mess of emotions himself, everyone is this house is well rounded and used to their fullest unlike some students in other houses sadly :/

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

Omg bae first and foremost, I hope you’re feeling a little better from last night, make sure you drink LOADS of liquids and in moderation eat every hour or so 🥺❤️❤️❤️!!!!

ALSO WHY DOES THIS SCREAM PETER.

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdAHwm83/

Like I can see this with my OWN EYES HAPPENING. Especially him all bruised up in this scene in particular when he comes home and it’s so late and his face is all bruised up and he forgot aunt May’s eggs yKNOW WHAT IM TALKING AVOUT THAT SCENE LITERALLY MAKES ME WANT TO LICK UP ALL THE BLOOD OFF OF HIS FACE I think I can find a reference for you:

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdAHsPNu/

THE THIRD CLIP AND HIS TOUNGE SLIDING OVER HIS LIP TOO I CANT

-🍿

BABY I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THAT EDIT THE WAY HE- I- WE- SKJHJSHJS

ALSO YES OH MY GODDDD I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR MEN BEING IN PAIN? WHY IS IT HOT TO ME

shank you baby im tryin to rest up loads!! water is my new best friend, i love her<33