#to say nothing of the medical system and how 4 years of an insidious and deadly virus has strained it

[awkward-teabag]

And the GDP is doing great! Just ignore all the people being fired and who are unemployed. The GDP says the economy is doing fine so everything must be fine and everyone is happy.

Sure everything is twice as expensive as 3 years ago but at least we also didn't beat covid

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #473

“please don’t make any sudden moves  /  you don’t know the half of the abuse”

Who are the 3 people you love the most? My mom, Sara, and Girt. Last person you slept in the same bed with? Sara. When is the last time you took a picture of yourself? It's been quite a long time. When was your first kiss? March of 2012. Have you recently been sick? No. Don't jinx it, especially these days. What song are you listening to? A slowed down version of "Heathens" by twenty one pilots. I REALLY like it. Do you drink soda often? Every day. :x Would you ever move somewhere like Hawaii? NOOOOOOO. I would NEVER survive living in the tropics. Have you ever had to call 911? Why? Twice for my mom. Once we thought she was having a heart attack, and the second time she had such bad abdominal pain that she was almost entirely immobilized. It was that day we found out about the cancer. Do you get out a lot? God no. Name 3 things you really like about yourself (not physical). I have a lot of empathy, I love and care a lot about animals, and I care a lot about what other people feel and always wanna make people feel better. Name 3 things you hate about yourself (not physical). My anxiety is #1, then there's how lazy I can be, and how I jump to conclusions. Would you ever consider having an abortion? If I was raped, it was ectopic (that barely even counts as one, though...), or it greatly endangered my life, yes. In which state/country were you born? North Carolina, U.S.A. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? Yeah, quite a lot... I've gone through probably around three dozen different psych meds since middle school. White chocolate or milk chocolate? Milk. I can eat white chocolate in small doses, but it's generally too sweet for me. Have you ever been to an amusement park out of state? Yeah, Disney World in Florida. Would you consider yourself a crafty person? No. I'm much better at putting stuff on paper than creating stuff with my hands. What would you say is your favorite color of all time? Baby pink! Have you ever been responsible for someone’s death? Y E E S H no. Do you ever spend the night with your significant other? Not yet. We're still iffy about sleeping in the same spot though because of my sleep apnea nightmares. My new mask seems to be working great, though; I haven't had a nightmare in like a week (and keep in mind they're usually every single night), I'm just WAY too scared to lash out at him in my sleep. I need a longer period of proof it's functioning well. Do you know a lot about serial killers? No. Have the police ever been looking for you? Yes, actually. One time when my sisters, a friend, and I were at the beach, we went walking by the shore at night, after we thought we told our parents we were going. Apparently, we didn't, or they didn't hear us, because my mom was an absolute collapsing wreck and called the police to search for us. We got back to the hotel so confused, and I'll never forget how Mom was crying. Where do you get most of your accessories from? I wanna say Hot Topic? Do you cuss more than anyone else you know? Yes, actually. Have there ever been any serial killers around your hometown? Idk. Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. What’s something you’ve experienced that very few others have? I'd say going to a psych hospital five or six times isn't exactly common. I am so fucking glad those days are over. Do you know anyone who’s related to a current or former world leader? Not to my knowledge, no. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have taxes. Do you have a home security system? No, but damn do I want one. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Our environmental crises, like global warming, deforestation, fossil fuels... basically just anything that involves us murdering the environment. People just don't fucking care because it's not "personal" enough, I guess. Or a fast-acting downfall. It's slow, insidious, and because of that, people think it's no biggie because it won't affect them in their lifetime and shit like that. Have you ever gotten sick from someone else’s cooking? Yes. My stomach is very, very sensitive to food it hasn't had before, especially if it's a complex recipe with lots of ingredients. What was the last kind of cheese you ate? American, on a turkey sandwich I made the other day. Have you ever abused any substance? Just Pepto Bismol. When I was in middle school, I was absolutely convinced every single day that I was going to throw up (no, I didn't actually feel sick every day; it was anxiety and just concocted in my head), so I would go to the bathroom at some point every day in school to take a pill. The habit only stopped when we ran out one day and Mom didn't get a new bottle immediately. I had to face the school day without it and, obviously, was just fine. What was the last fun thing you did? Caught up on some Tarantula Collective videos, probs. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? Nah. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In my bed. Have you ever been called a whore? No. Pretty far from one. What kind of phone do you have? It's a Tracfone. I'm ready to get a new, better one. Do you like hot chocolate? Love itttt. Do you know anyone with an STD? Yes. Are you afraid of deep water? Not as much as most people, it seems. Do you get dizzy easily? I naturally have alarmingly low blood pressure, only made worse by medication, so trust me, I sure as hell do. Have you ever been thrown up on? LKAJSDLKFJAKLWJEKLWJERLK NO Have you ever thrown up on someone? Maybe as a baby? How many times have you thrown up from being so drunk? Zero. Does the sound of fireworks scare you? No, not if I know it's coming. Otherwise I'll probably jump a bit, fearing it being a gunshot. What’s your favorite firework? I don't know how to identify fireworks, ha ha. But generally just the really big, colorful ones. Have you ever been beat up? No. Have you ever seen a jellyfish? Only in aquariums. Do you cry when you get angry? Yes. I cry to cope with a ton of emotions. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Plan on it. What do you think people really think about you? That I'm an awkward, reclusive, leeching lowlife without goals I'll actually chase. God, that's painful to think about, what people see from the outside. What’s your favorite part about Thanksgiving? Nothing. I don't like Thanksgiving. I have to spend it every single year with horribly conservative, bigoted fucks. I hate Thanksgiving food, too. How many best friends do you have? One. What kind of car is your favorite? I don't know. Sleek, elegant ones. Do you prefer pens or pencils? Pencils. When did you go to sleep last night? Not 'til like... around 4 in the morning. Do you know anyone who’s had a stillbirth? I'm sure I do. I know MANY people who have had miscarriages. Are there any redheads in your family? I don't believe so, no. Which YouTuber do you feel like you relate to the most? Ummm maybe Morgan Adams, except I'm not funny lmao. What theme do you want for your wedding? Gothic. What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? Purely hypothetically, I'd probably choose pastel colors and baby animals for a daughter, and then little cute dinosaurs for a boy. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. Do you know your first crush’s middle name? No. Who do you wish you could go on another date with? I'm happy only going on dates with my current boyfriend. Which family member did you get your height from? My mom. We're pretty much the same. Do you feel stupid regularly? ALWAYS. What style of wedding dress do you want? Most likely a ball gown one with a sweetheart top. Definitely subject to change, though; I honestly just love wedding dresses and would want to actually see how I look in varying styles, except mermaid. Mermaid gowns look AWFUL on 99% of people imo. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? My high school band friend Marcus, his wife had their first baby just the other day. I'm blanking on her name right now. Who is the cutest baby you’ve seen on social media recently? Bindi Irwin's daughter Grace is like illegally cute. What is your opinion on Arby’s? I hate that shit. What is your favorite doughnut? Just an original glazed from Krispy Kreme fuckin does it for me man. But I just love donuts in general. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? We poor, hunny. What is your favorite party game? I don't really have one, given I don't exactly go to parties. Do you or your parents rake your yard? It doesn't need to be raked. My dad used to occasionally when my parents were still together. Have you won anything recently? No. How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? Umm I want to say I saw a young squirrel dash out of the road semi-recently? Do you like drag queens? If so, got any favourites? Drag queens are, well, fucking queens. I love them. Trixie Mattel is high on the list. How about drag kings? You know... somehow it never struck me that this term existed???? I'm dumb. But anyway, I think it's still awesome. I don't know any (I think?) though. Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? If he had good reason to, it wouldn't bother me. His father is no longer living, but I could not even imagine him cutting contact with his mother since he helps the woman so much and cares a shitload for her. As someone who relates to what I know of her and what she's gone through, I'd definitely be concerned if he cut ties with her. It'd almost feel like an insult to me, too, if that makes sense? Like I'd be scared I was next. Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? As a kid, yes. I sometimes thought my mom didn't love me as much as my sisters, so I had an episode where I wondered. Have you ever grown a berry bush? No.

[catholicismabusedestiny]

FSA!  I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANT UNTIL RECENTLY

03.02.2019

My father’s birthday~ I think that is more than just a coincidence that I found myself researching this topic or this date, but I did! Ever since my 60th, which was an awful, hurtful and emotional draining weekend for me; I became a hermit for months because each time I so much as thought about that weekend, I’d begin to cry and I didn’t want to do that around anyone else – especially my friends!  

In truth, it was the most hurtful (and yet INTENTIONAL) act that anyone’s ever done to me and no one even cares.  I’d told everyone that my vision for that weekend was to celebrate the passing of my health issues, the blending of my friends and family (which I’ve tried to do for decades) and the starting of my new business in California.  I described it as “the best” event in my life – given I wasn’t married; I viewed this as the one and only event intended for nothing but to celebrate me, Mike.  

However, to then experience what actually occurred and to know that it was done intentionally to hurt me is/was something so harmful/difficult to process that I sought out my therapist’s assistance to make sense of it.  Ironically, I’ve only been seeing this therapist about 6 months yet - he too – referred to FSA as something I needed to research and boy he was right.

Per my therapist’s advice, I’ve done some follow-up research on a topic we’ve discussed at length in therapy; he’s instructed me to review various case studies and ensure that I have a thorough understanding of the phenomena of Scapegoating, or FSA, as the therapist’s call it.  In fact, I reviewed the content from a book he’s recommended and below are some excerpts from that book.

“Since publishing my first book on what I named Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA), many readers have written me with questions regarding family scapegoating and the challenges faced when attempting to recover from its damaging effects. In today’s post I answer five critical questions about this most insidious form of systemic psycho-emotional abuse”.

Understanding Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA)

Over the past few months, I’ve had many readers of my blog articles write to me privately or in comments to the effect of, “I can’t believe what I am reading – It’s like you’re writing about my own life!”

Many of those writing to me express the intensity of emotions they experience when recognizing themselves as FSA survivors. Typical comments include, “At last, there’s a name that describes what I’ve been experiencing”, and “Now that I understand what may have happened to me, I have hope that perhaps there’s a way for me to recover.”

Often those reaching out to me to share their experiences of being scapegoated also have a lot of questions about family scapegoating abuse as related to their experiences of painful and damaging family betrayal.

Below are five of the most frequently asked questions I am asked by clients and readers, along with my responses (in brief), that are critical to understanding scapegoating abuse and it’s effects on the targeted family member:

1 – What Is the ‘Family Scapegoat’? ‘The Scapegoat’ is one of the roles ‘assigned’ to a child growing up in a dysfunctional family system (I say more about this process in my answer to question 2). The scapegoating typically (but not always) begins in childhood and often continues into and throughout adulthood, although the role may be passed around to different family members at times.

Because family scapegoating processes can be insidious and subtle, many adult survivors do not realize that they are suffering from a most egregious (and often chronic) form of systemically-driven psycho-emotional bullying and abuse, with all of the painful consequences to body, mind, and spirit.

More specifically: Children and adult children who are caught in the ‘family scapegoat’ role are the ‘identified patient’ in their family. As such, they are often the targets of ‘shaming and blaming’, distorted family narratives (aka ‘smear campaigns’) and can end up rejected and discarded by those who were supposed to love them the most: Their own family-of-origin.

2 – Why Do Families Scapegoat? There are a multitude of reasons why one (or more) family members become the constant target of rejecting, shaming, and blaming behaviors within their family-of-origin. It is usually the case that most family members who scapegoat are genuinely oblivious to the fact that they are engaging in mentally and emotionally abusive behaviors and become highly defensive if confronted with their damaging and harmful behavior.

In Family Systems theory, scapegoating in a dysfunctional family system is understood to be fueled by unconscious processes whereby the family displaces their own collective psychological difficulties and complexes onto a specific family member.

This process of projection, shaming, and blaming serves to divert attention away from the rest of the family’s mental and emotional problems via casting the targeted family member into the role of ‘scapegoat’. This does not mean that all acts of blaming and shaming a child are unconscious – rather, the projection process fueling the scapegoating of the family member is unconscious.

Despite the fact that the ‘family scapegoat’ role is common to dysfunctional families, there is surprisingly little research or literature available to both lay-person and clinician describing family scapegoating’s features and effects on the targeted child / adult child. As a result, family scapegoating is seldom recognized as abuse warranting clinical intervention and treatment.  More to the point, however, is that those within a family that’s exhibiting signs of Scapegoating will not recognize the signs themselves, or what role they might have in continuing this abuse.

3 – What Are the Effects of Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA)? Many FSA adult survivors fail to realize that they have actually suffered from psycho-emotional abuse growing up, and even their therapist or counselor might miss the signs and symptoms associated with being in this most devastating dysfunctional family role.  AMEN to this!!

Specifically: Adults seeking assistance from a mental health professional may find that the genuine pain and distress they are experiencing is minimized or even invalidated  (e.g., “But they’re your family, of course they love you”; “Family connections are so important, it can’t be that bad”; “It’s best if you forgive, we need to maintain ties with our family to be healthy”), which only serves to reinforce the scapegoated adult’s fear that they are somehow fundamentally to blame for their strained (or non-existent) family relationships.

As a consequence of having their family relational distress and abuse symptoms go unrecognized, many adult survivors of FSA suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and anger management issues. They may have been diagnosed in the past with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and even Dissociative Identity Disorder with Psychosis.  Once again, AMEN!

In addition to the above disorders, FSA survivors may have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Agoraphobia. Others may be diagnosed with a personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder, especially), or an attachment disorder.

4 – Can Family Scapegoating Abuse Lead to Complex Trauma?

Yes. It has been my observation that in addition to being diagnosed with one or more of the disorders listed above, many family scapegoating abuse survivors are suffering from symptoms of undiagnosed, untreated post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which I will be addressing in a future blog post.  Each and every diagnosed I’ve highlighted in red are contained within my medical files.

More specifically: As related to my ongoing work with adult survivors seeking to recover from family scapegoating abuse, it is my experience that the rejecting, shaming, and otherwise non-nurturing, harmful, and abusive family environment my clients grew up in (and had no means of escaping from) has actually contributed to their experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD – which is also known as complex trauma disorder) secondary to chronic parental / family psycho-emotional (and at times physical) abuse.

5 – What’s One of the Biggest Obstacles to FSA Recovery? Scapegoated adults often don’t realize how their familial distress has been negatively impacting nearly every area of their life, including their mental and emotional health, relationships, work, and their ability to realize their most cherished goals and dreams.   Over the years, therapist’s have referred to this phenomena; but, I was quick to dismiss it for various reasons; however, now that it’s had two decades to percolate in my head while familial strife worsened to the extent that I now feel like an orphan with instructions that “no one wants to hear anything you have to say” yet no one’s told me what it is their upset about?  Now I’m thinking that they might not even know what their upset about.

More specifically: Scapegoated adults often feel debilitated by self-doubt and ‘imposter syndrome’ in their relationships and in the work-place, and blame themselves for their difficulties. They typically struggle in regard to creating and experiencing a sense of life mission, passion, and purpose, and find themselves succumbing to feelings of futility, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and despair. In extreme cases they may feel that taking their own life is the only way to end their pain.  OMG AMEN!

What the FSA victim may see as ‘family conflict’ is often unrecognized mental and emotional abuse. To compound matters further, the FSA victim typically doesn’t realize how being the target of family scapegoating is affecting their ability to succeed and thrive in their personal and professional life.

It may not even occur to the FSA victim that they may need to limit or (in extreme cases) even end contact with abusive family members (which has been recommended to me on more than one occasion) who refuse to take ownership for their damaging behaviors – especially if there are cultural and/or financial considerations that seem insurmountable and impossible to overcome.

While being scapegoated within one’s family-of-origin is recognized as being harmful, the negative effects are most often categorized as mental and emotional exclusively. However, being in the role of the family scapegoat can also result in the targeted child being physically bullied, sexually abused, or denied medical care. We as a society need to acknowledge this and stop putting our heads in the sand so as to avoid overwhelming and unpleasant realities.

Learn more about family scapegoating abuse and how to dis-identify from the false family narrative so you can release the 'scapegoat story' for good!  I just ordered this book!

Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed

Help and Hope for Adults in the Family Scapegoat Role

[murkserious]

27 WAYS WE ARE BRAINWASHED AS AFRIKAN BLOOD PEOPLE WHITE VICIOUS SUPREMACY FROM BIRTH

by Dr Boyce Watkins

I remember when I first heard Malcolm X ask, “Who taught you to hate yourself?” Of course we know the answer to this question, but many of us are afraid to say it. Even mentioning the ways that white-dominated institutions shape our thinking can lead to punishment, ostracism, unemployment, incarceration and even death. The deepest part of this process is that the brainwashing in America can be so deep, so insidious, so subtle, that even the most meaningful reflection doesn’t allow us to solve the complex puzzle of White Supremacy.

This issue came to light last week when I went to visit a prison in Illinois. Although I am a law-abiding citizen, the prison took three years to approve me for a visit. After speaking to one of the inmates familiar with the approval process, we concluded that it was likely that my thinking and educational background made me some kind of threat to their system of oppression against black men. God forbid I go into the prison and say something that might inspire these black men to live a more empowered existence.

The fact is that people like myself are threats to white supremacy because we disrupt racialized systematic brainwashing.

I was sitting at my computer one night, thinking about all the ways that our minds are controlled from the time we are born. I thought about the many flawed concepts that are dropped into our psyches by media, the educational system, and even our own families. Some of these ideas hit us so early that we hardly have a chance to escape them. Others simply leave us crippled and unable to fight the racism all around us. Even more disturbing is that some of the greatest white supremacists in America can be other black people.

So, I made a list of several things many of us believe about the world and ourselves at an early age, as well as things we are trained to do that may end up being to our detriment. Of course this list is not final, nor is it presumably correct on every count. At the same time, it gives us something to think about, because the brainwashing is amazing, deep and deliberate in our society.

Here’s the list:

1) Letting our oppressors educate our children, medicate them, and put them into the school-to-prison pipeline. A thorough miseducation can be more destructive than no education at all, since many of our brains are filled with all the wrong stuff to begin with. Maybe instead of handing your child’s brain over to a public school system that has proven that it can’t properly educate black children, you can consider homeschooling the child after they get home for the day. Everything you need to know in order to teach your child is right there on the Internet.

2) Believing that white people are supposed to give us jobs when we can actually create them on our own: Given our long and rich history of working for white people, it can be difficult to see ourselves as the boss instead of the laborer. In fact, even us “educated” black people were often told that you should study hard in school so that some white-owned company will love you enough to employ you. Now, we’re seeing Harvard MBAs in the unemployment line, struggling to survive, like lions raised in the zoo who are starving to death because they were never taught how to hunt for their own food.

3) Thinking that every black person who goes to prison is automatically a bad human being: Mass incarceration is real and it is not by accident. When prisons are filled with strong black men who’ve received 40 year sentences for possessing two grams of a drug that many white people use on the weekend, you know you have a problem. What’s interesting is that the whole world sees this as a serious issue, but we do not.

4) Eating food that is going to give you diabetes and/or heart disease and/or high blood pressure and/or chronic obesity by the age of 45. Maybe eating pig guts and sweet tea with sweet potato pie every Sunday isn’t such a good idea after all.

5) Valuing sports and entertainment over education: Not many people know the name of the black kid who won the math competition, but everybody knows the guy who won the state championship. This fascination with sports as the pathway to success is largely driven by media, which waves black athletes and rappers in front of our boys just long enough for them to believe that education isn’t cool. Unfortunately, almost none of them ever get to play with LeBron James. Instead, the worst of them may end up as 25-year old baby daddies with no job, a criminal record, a weed addiction, bad knees and a fifth grade reading level. This is hardly the kind of man that an educated black woman would want to call her husband.

6) Believing that black people you see on white-owned TV networks are supposed to be leaders or role models to your community: If a white television executive wants to create key influencers in the black community, they can do so by putting that person on a network. Most of your favorite black celebrities, films, radio shows, TV shows and magazines wouldn’t exist to you were it not for white corporate benefactors positioning them to influence your mind.

7) Believing that every tax refund check and every paycheck is supposed to go straight to the mall to buy overpriced European brands from companies that don’t even hire black people: Money is capital to be used for investing, job creation and building businesses, not a consumption item to be given away at every available opportunity for the sake of materialistic excess or instant gratification. In other words, your money is your power, and you should not give all your power away.

8) Thinking that being “rich” means having a high paying job, a big house or a fancy car, even if it’s all financed with debt: There’s a good chance that the “baller” down the street is one paycheck away from being homeless. To determine the depth of true wealth, you have to go beneath the superficial.

9) Calling yourself and your friends n*ggers (or niggaz) and seeing nothing wrong with that: Listen to me carefully – You are NOT a n*gger, no matter how often Jewish-run record labels pay black rappers to tell you that you are.

10) Giving your money to white businesses and avoiding the black ones: Black people are often referred to as “liquid money,” because we are the only ones who are eager to give our money away to other ethnic groups. No one else does this. The guy in Chinatown is never going to buy your sh*t.

11) Thinking that we’re all supposed to vote for the Democratic Party in every election: Even Bill Clinton admitted that he put too many black people in prison, and President Obama’s not letting them out anytime soon. You don’t owe the Democratic Party anything, especially if they aren’t making black issues a priority.

12) Believing that Africa is a poor, dirty, horrible place with nothing but poverty and disease, and that you should thank your lucky stars you were “blessed” enough to live in America: Newsflash – you live in arguably the most racist country in the world. No country on the planet incarcerates black people the way we do in the United States of America. Many African leaders consider America to be racially corrupt.

13) Believing that Harvard and Yale are better than Spelman and Howard

14) Not realizing that both Spelman and Howard were founded by white people

15) Not realizing that most of the people who founded the NAACP were actually white and that this organization never really belonged to you in the first place. Not that they can’t help you, but they have less loyalty to you than to their corporate and political overseers.

16) Thinking that straight hair is “good” and black hair is “nasty,” then giving all of your money to Korean beauty shops so they can make you feel better about yourself. According to Dr Claud Anderson, roughly 85 cents of every dollar spent on black women’s hair goes to Koreans. I hate to admit it, but this makes us look really, really stupid.

17) Believing that light skinned women are more attractive than those with dark skin

18) Knowing nothing about African history, but believing that every great accomplishment occurred in Europe, starting with Christopher Columbus “discovering” a country that was well-populated thousands of years before he arrived.

19) Believing that you’re only supposed to pray, march and be peaceful every time your children get slaughtered by whites. It takes a while to train people to be as peaceful and forgiving as black people are. The brainwashing must be deeply rooted in tradition. Notice how one of the heads of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference was sent for “retraining” (aka re-brainwashing)after stating that black people should defend themselves. Even self-defense is considered to be a form of aggression when you are black in America.

20) Delivering your prayers to a big, white Jesus who will solve most of your problems for you, as long as you give money to the pastor.

21) Looking up to historical figures like George Washington who put our ancestors in chains and probably raped them

22) Believing that integration was a sign of progress for black people and not an era where black institutions were destroyed and left for dead

23) Believing that Martin Luther King is more important than Malcolm X because white people market him more regularly

24) Believing that Martin Luther King only spoke of peace and forgiveness instead of the same rage and reparations that many of us talk about today

25) Thinking that its normal to have an all-black neighborhood with a mostly white police force, when there are no all-white neighborhoods with a mostly black police force

26) Believing that a half-white president is going to be significantly different from a completely white one: Hint – most high-level politicians think alike, since they are supporting the same system that has oppressed you for 400 years. Many of them went to the same universities (nearly every member of the Supreme Court, plus every president for the last 27 years attended either Harvard or Yale at some point in their career). Also, our system incentivizes our political leaders to value corporate money over the plight of the American people. This is going to be the downfall of this nation.

27) Thinking that the first black (fill in the blank) to get into a white institution actually represents progress, even though whites have never considered it be progress to get into our institutions (Does standard White History include a story about the first white man to get into Morehouse?). We’ve been taught to believe that everything whiter is better: White corporate jobs, white universities, white neighborhoods, white TV networks/media outlets, the list goes on and on.

The fact is that we really, really LOVE white people, and this training started from birth. It started with us first learning how to hate ourselves and each other, and then to believe that the only way to restore our lost humanity was to gain the approval of our oppressors. As a result, we spend our lives marching, hoping, praying, working, begging, bowing, and compromising, with the expectation that we will be rewarded for our good behavior. Unfortunately, it can cause many of us to abandon the person we were meant to be, all for the sake of trying to become somebody else.

Once again, feel free to add to the list. I don’t know everything, but my brainwashing as a PhD tells me that I am supposed to think I know everything. So, maybe this is my first step toward escaping my own psychological plantation. We have all been infected affected.

[zeppelinwormwood]

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it's indifference. Ghosting, for those of you who haven’t yet experienced it, is having someone that you believe cares about you, whether it be a friend or someone you are dating, disappear from contact without any explanation at all. No phone call or email, not even a text.

Ghosting isn’t new—people have long engaged in disappearing acts—but years ago this kind of behavior was considered limited to a certain type of scoundrel. In today’s dating culture being ghosted is a phenomenon that approximately 50 percent of men and women have experienced—and an almost equal number have done the ghosting.1 Despite how common ghosting is, the emotional effects can be devastating, and particularly damaging to those who already have fragile self-esteem.

Why do people ghost?

People who ghost are primarily focused on avoiding their own emotional discomfort and they aren’t thinking about how it makes the other person feel. The lack of mutual social connections for people who met online also means there are fewer social consequences of dropping out of another’s life. The more it happens, either to themselves or their friends, the more people become desensitized to it, and the more likely they are to do it to someone else.

“I didn't understand exactly how I actually felt at the time, so instead of trying to talk it out, I ghosted.” 2

“I used to disappear when it was all I thought it was [a fling], or I got scared of finding what I wanted… Or some kind of fear factor from a past relationship kicks in.” 2

“Looking through the lens of a coward, passive withdrawal from dating seems like the easiest and nicest route��� until it’s done to you.” 3

“I kind of think that it's part of what makes the online-dating scene so appealing. Since you don't have friends in common or weren't introduced through some other channel, it's not the end of the world if you just drop off the face of the earth.” 4

“I, for one, consider myself to be an honest and straightforward person. And yet I’ve ghosted... And I’ve told myself, time and time again, that it’s all the fault of the toxic dating culture we’ve created. And at the end of the day, I think that’s what we’re all telling ourselves.” 5

How does it feel to be ghosted?

For many people, ghosting can result in feelings of being disrespected, used and disposable. If you have known the person beyond more than a few dates then it can be even more traumatic. When someone we love and trust disengages from us it feels like a very deep betrayal.

“I felt like an idiot. Like I had been played a fool. And more so I felt disrespected. Take the romantics away, to have a great connection with a new friend and then all of a sudden never hear from them again? That’s painful and really disappointing. No one deserves to be blown off.” 6

“It still felt a bit like someone had punched me in the gut when it happened. The disregard is insulting. The lack of closure is maddening. You move on, but not before your self-esteem takes a hit. The only thing worse than being broken up with is realizing that someone didn’t even consider you worth breaking up with.” 7

“Going from texting every day and seeing each other a couple of times a week to nothing without the slightest hint of why was a kick in the gut.” 8

“Ghosting is one of the cruelest forms of torture dating can serve up.” 9

Why does it feel so bad?

Social rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain.10 In fact, you can reduce the emotional pain of rejection with a pain medication like Tylenol.11 But in addition to this biological link between rejection and pain, there are some specific factors about ghosting that contribute to the psychological distress.

Ghosting gives you no cue for how to react. It creates the ultimate scenario of ambiguity. Should you be worried? What if they are hurt and lying in a hospital bed somewhere? Should you be upset? Maybe they are just a little busy and will be calling you at any moment. You don’t know how to react because you don’t really know what has happened. Staying connected to others is so important to our survival that our brain has evolved to have a social monitoring system that scans the environment for cues so that we know how to respond in social situations.12 Social cues allow us to regulate our own behavior accordingly, but ghosting deprives you of these usual cues and can create a sense of emotional dysregulation where you feel out of control.

One of the most insidious aspects of ghosting is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship you had, it causes you to question yourself. Why didn’t I see this coming? How could I have been such a poor judge of character? What did I do to cause this? How do I protect myself from this ever happening again? This self-questioning is the result of basic psychological systems that are in place to monitor one’s social standing and relay that information back to the person via feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. When a rejection occurs your self-esteem can drop, which social psychologists propose is meant to be a signal that your social belonging is low.13 If you have been through multiple ghostings or if your self-esteem is already low, you are likely to experience the rejection as even more painful, and it may take you longer to get over it as people with lower-self-esteem have less natural opioid (pain-killer) released into the brain after a rejection when compared with those whose self-esteem is higher.14

Ghosting is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty.15 It essentially renders you powerless and leaves you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.

Regardless of the ghoster’s intent, ghosting is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars.

How do you move forward?

The important thing to remember is that when someone ghosts you, it says nothing about you or your worthiness for love and everything about the person doing the ghosting. It shows he or she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don't understand the impact of their behavior or worse don’t care. In any case, they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. Be the better person, retain your dignity, and let him or her go peacefully.

Don’t allow someone else’s bad behavior to rob you of a better future by losing your vulnerability and shutting yourself off from another relationship. Keep your energy focused on doing what makes you happy. Know that if you are someone who treats people with respect and integrity then the ghoster simply wasn’t on your wavelength and someone better is coming your way, as long as you keep your heart open and your focus forward.

[gaiatheorist]

Reasons, and excuses.

I’ve probably used that phrase before, when I ‘worked for Royal Bank of Scotland’ (in a 24-hour freephone call-centre), my well-meaning manager had to toe the corporate line about my abysmal payment protection insurance sales figures. “Don’t give me excuses, give me reasons!” she barked at me during an appraisal. The underpinning reason, as ever, was that I’m too honest, for all my excellent listening and communication skills, for all my linguistic trickery, I’m just not a salesperson. The product wasn’t right for everyone, my customer satisfaction ratings were consistently high, my up-sell and add-on figures consistently low, I was ‘dragging the team down’ with my inability to coerce people into buying insurance they probably didn’t need. (Side-spin about the colleagues with high sales figures, who’d mumble the word ‘optional’, or actually drop calls where the customer had requested a high value loan without insurance.) 

I’ve just found an excuse for why I’ve been so unwell this week. My Facebook ‘memories’ thing has me goofing about, giving ratings on food, cleanliness, and staff for my ‘mini-break’ 3 years ago. I was in hospital, having brain surgery. The actual anniversary of the surgery was yesterday, today is the anniversary of my bizarre ‘escape from Alcatraz’ release from hospital. (Tomorrow will be the anniversary of the ex eventually leaving, I might buy a bottle of wine for that one.) 

The first brain surgeries really shook me up. Not so much the surgeries themselves, I have no recollection of having a groove drilled in my skull so surgeons could lay a catheter-type drain to draw out the accumulated blood from the ruptured aneurysm, and the CSF that was causing the hydrocephalus. I don’t know how long I was the induced coma before the second surgery, where a surgeon guided ‘coils’ into the burst aneurysm, via an incision in my femoral artery. I do remember the procedure of having the drain removed, probably because I refused sedation, knowing I’d ‘need’ the lovely-floaty Morphine later, to deal with visiting time. Calculating, even as I was having a tube removed from the surface of my brain 10 days after traumatic surgery. I have no idea why the ex insisted on bringing his parents to see me every day, or whether he’d made any attempt to contact MY family, to say I was in hospital. That shook me up, that he was in complete control, and I was only ‘allowed’ contact with the people he selected. (He brought his friend to ‘see’ me, all comatose and catheterised, I know the experience will have been unsettling for him, too, but, really? “Going through a bit of a tough time, mate, would you like to come and see ‘our lass’ in pyjamas?”)  

The larking about on Facebook is a direct result of the lack of control I had over anything during the first hospitalisation. Stone-cold about dates, and timings, and visitors, I frightened a lot of people, and then tried to humour-deflect. “Stop flapping, it’s only a bit of brain surgery.” (Then my predictable snark-smile, when I turned up back at work, and one of the receptionists said “Oh, did you not have your operation, then?”) I really, REALLY mis-managed myself, through my need to be in control. In-on-Wednesday-surgery-on-Thursday-home-on-Friday, I was ‘going with plan A’, and nothing was going to stop me, least of all the fact that the consultant wasn’t there to discharge me, he’d mentioned that he was on leave over the Easter weekend, but his notes said “Home Friday if well.” so I went with that. I hadn’t brought enough changes of clothes to stay over the weekend.

I’d asked my brother if I could use him as my next-of-kin instead of the ex. I’d been very clear (repeatedly) with the ex that I didn’t want him to visit, and, no matter how much he whined, and pestered, and said he cared about me, I wasn’t budging on that. I’d requested the surgery during the school Easter break so I wouldn’t ‘need’ any time off for recovery. I over-stretched myself, determined to prove myself.  

Hindsight is a kick in the minge. I prioritised getting the kid to the end of his A-levels, getting rid of the ex, and ‘proving myself’ at work. As much as I brushed off the concerned people on Facebook, telling me to ‘rest’ and ‘take care’, they were right, and I was wr w wro- misguided. I continued to do what I’d always done, running at life head-on, and it took me about six months of running on fumes to burn out completely. That didn’t have to be inevitable, I made my choices, and tried, but the cumulative toll of several life-changing events in a relatively short space of time hit me, and I broke a little bit. 

Having established that the ‘anniversary’ is an excuse for having effectively ‘lost’ this week, the date makes no difference to anything, I’m looking for a reason. I’ve been physically unwell, and emotionally unstable for a week, the two do tend to go hand-in-hand with me. The migraines tended to be enforced shut-downs, when my brain would ‘just say no’, and I almost-always ended up with something vague-and-virusy during school holidays. I’ve had a throat infection, and it has been a doozy, bypassing the usual crappy tonsillitis that hits me 3-4 times a year, and going straight to what looked like laryngitis. Painful days, and sleepless nights, leading to nodding off on the sofa, or in the armchair. Rest, fluids, paracetamol, I know the drill. It probably was psychosomatic, I can’t divorce my muddled mind from my injured brain and dysfunctional body, it comes as a package. 

I’d wound myself up about the mental health assessment, paranoid-convinced that I’d be prescribed anti-depressants, and told to ‘get on with it’. Already slightly-wobbly, the appointment came at a huge emotional cost to me, and sent me into a spiral of am-I-a-bad-person? I make questionable choices, and I’m a snarky bitch, but I don’t think I’m a ‘bad person’. ‘Bad’, little linguistic flip, there, because I need to get ‘better’, and figure out what I’m ‘good’ at. I don’t have a date for the therapy, I do have an appointment with Neurology next month, which might reduce some of the physical issues that drain my cognitive capacity. I hope so, anyway, life as it is currently is a bit like trying to run a marathon in stilettos. The therapy, when it eventually comes, will hopefully pick-apart, and re-route some of my disordered cognitive processing. The disordered thinking is a natural response to long-term traumatic experiences, that’s a reason, not an excuse. My paranoia that ‘everyone’ is looking to trip-me-up and catch-me-out is a learned behaviour, but it has proven quite useful in dealing with DWP so far. I used to describe myself as ‘Teflon’, but underneath that bollocks-bravado, I was your classic ‘swan’, appearing to glide through whatever life threw at me, but paddling frantically under the surface. Oh, and probably able to break a person’s arm. 

Along with the big petition, to revoke A50, there’s another one, to investigate DWP’s systems and processes. I don’t want to be ‘unemployed’, or ‘disabled’, but, for now, I need the ‘social security’ payments for heating and eating. It’s highly probable that DWP/PIP/ATOS will decide I’m not-disabled, whether I’ve accessed any treatment or not. I’m not scamming the system, I have brain injuries, and ‘mental health issues’ as per ATOS’s notes, ATOS have exacerbated them. I’ve managed to ‘buy time’ in the systems, to at least start to address the issues that my disabilities cause, but I doubt I’ll be given an extension, and a terrifying number of people don’t manage to even qualify for the ‘award’ at all. My last OU course was ‘Introduction to death, dying and grief’, which contained a section on assisted dying. A medical body within the UK has just relaxed its stance on assisted dying, at the same time as the insidious UC and PIP systems continue to steamroller ‘us’. I’m safe-ish, I know that, for now, I’m a drain-on-resources, and, as much as I hate it, I’m justifying it against not having had three years of free tossing-it-off at uni, and only having four months of ‘maternity leave.’ What about the people who can’t formulate a reason/excuse, and less-than is not-enough? An individual able to give fully informed consent should never be prevented from ending their own life, but the ‘informed’ is the issue. The ‘making work pay’ rhetoric is fine in theory, but the universal-assumption is catastrophic. As I am now, I would present a risk of harm to self or others if I was compelled into ‘any/all suitable vacancies’, my bought-time is the only thing preventing that from happening. That’s a reason, not an excuse. 

I’ve had a bad week. I have two weeks before my son is back from uni for his Easter break, and I need to do whatever I can to re-stabilise myself before Mr Sticky and his noises are ‘back in the building’. I have many reasons ‘to be’, and I need to stop making excuses.       

[smokeybrandcompositions]

Evolution

I just read an article about how Americans don’t want socialism. That the trappings and failures of capitalism are far and away better than anything Socialism can bring to a country. Tell that bullsh*t to those Nordic countries. I concede that communism is designed to crate dictators; anytime to coalesce that much power into one person, there’s a problem, but socialism is different than communism and most people don’t understand that. Especially in America where anytime you mention anything with any semblance of sharing, it’s a goddamn fight. The thing is, though, we already have socialist policies. What the f*ck do you think Social Security is? I mean, it’s in the f*cking name! Beyond that, whenever there is a deficit or something in the budget, what’s the first thing the cut? Social Security! So, I mean, Socialism is bad, right? But it’s always used to bail us out though, right? So, which one is it then?

This article used examples like Venezuela and Russia to articulate their reticence but, I mean, of course they would. The thing that really got me was, immediately after this, they f*cking said it was because of corruption that these “socialist” governments failed. Bro, corruption ruins everything. By definition, that’s what it does. Venezuela is failing because the people in charge have no accountability and hoarded the country’s wealth. Same thing with Russia, but to a lesser extent. Their money was charred around by a set of oligarchs, funneling the scraps to the people. With a cat like Putin in charge, of course Socialism isn’t going to work. Dude is all about consolidating power and wealth is power there. Another failure cats like to throw in my face is Cuba. See, the thing about Cuba is, if they haven’t had all of those sanctions imposed by America on them for 60 f*cking years, Cuba would be a legit paradise. Cuba has some of the highest level of literacy in the world and they get that schooling for free. They have some of the best doctors in the world. The only reason their country is in such bad shape is because NATO decided their regime was toxic and blocked trade for decades. Cuba is an island. It has finite resources. They NEED that trade to survive. DO you honestly believe that, if Cube had the means to feed their people with traded goods, people would want to flee? I dunno, man, Havana is gorgeous.

But, okay, let’s say those examples are the worst, that Socialism failed miserably because it doesn’t work there. With dictators at the helm. What happens when you have elected officials running a country with checks and balances to the social programs? You get f*cking Denmark. You get f*cking Sweden. You get f*cking Amsterdam and Scandinavia. You get literally the happiest countries in the world. Let’s look at Denmark a little closer because I just read an article about them trying to debunk their $20.00 an hour minimum wage and it didn’t do them any favors. Sure, it’s a little expensive to live there but, with those taxes they pay, Denmark residents don’t really have to pay for anything but f*cking food. The effective buying power of that 20 bux is roughly 11.50 in real time but they have free education, healthcare, and daycare. So that right there cuts out student loan payments, exorbitant child care costs, and any ludicrous medical bills you may have to pay. That frees up a MASSIVE amount of capital for you to do whatever with. Seriously, you’d have a bout a grand extra, every month, to do what you need to do with. On minimum wage. Minimum. Wage. They have one of the healthiest economies in the world so there’s a good chance you’d make more than that, easy, especially if you graduate from a free college. You’re instantly pressed into the workforce in your major upon graduation and serve a 4-year term, for the government, in your field. Afterward, you’re free to leave or continue with that gig. So not only did you get a free education, they got you a paying job in your field, not an internship, fresh out of college. And it gets even better. Since the clear majority of Denmark citizens have a higher degree, there’s much less crime. The Nordic countries are some of the safest in the world. I wonder why? It’s almost as if economic imposed poverty breeds criminal activity or something. When you have less of that, you have less crime. Who’d have thought?

Democratic Socialism works. If some asshole isn’t in the big chair as we run that system, we’ll be fine. We’ll probably be great. Every time socialism fails, it’s because of a dick. Like the one sitting in the big chair now. Trump is actively ruining America. His is the most corrupt administration since Nixon, on both a national and private level. Everything he’s done has bolstered his brand and tanked the country. Seriously, how are we any better now, than W? How is the country in any better position, globally, than under Obama? He’s getting played by North Korea. He just publicly kissed Putin’s ring and lied about it. I’ve literally heard this man say, “Don’t trust what you see or read in the news.” Bro, what? That sh*t is textbook Nazism. It’s how you create dictators. It’s how Putin runs his whole system. The installation of mistrust in free media is how it always starts and you’re telling me Socialism is a problem? That Democratic Socialism will be the end of America as we know it? Nah, our county is already in decline and it’s not even a socialist has nothing to do with it. It’s this god-awful capitalism that has us to the brink. Wage disparity has never been higher. 80 percent of the GDP is being pocketed by, like, 20 people. Contrary to Gordon Gecko’s mantra, Greed is, in fact, NOT good! Crime is insane and literacy is down historic levels. Crime is insane BECAUSE literacy is down historic levels! Cats are out here turning on each other over dumb sh*t like race, politics, and religion, instead of uniting against the forces that have very real ill intent; the mother*ckers that are making the laws taking away your rights and protections.

America has an aversion to Socialism because the powers that be have orchestrated one of the most insidious propaganda initiatives I have ever seen. They hammered the red scare into our grand-parents, who fed that sh*t to our parents, who have distilled it into us. The thing is, though, we as the next generation have had access to information that the others have not. Propaganda like that doesn’t work on someone who understands haw to think. Most cats with a reason and common sense can see the way things are now, can’t be sustained. Why not give socialism a hot? But the intricate social engineering that has been enacted for decades has it’s claws in enough of this country’s people that making headway is nigh impossible. Abortion has nothing to do with government or religion. A chick has the right to do with her body, whatever she wants because it’s her body. If she doesn’t want to carry a tumor in her womb to term, that’s her business, not the f*cking senate, president, or Supreme Court judge. No one is coming to take your guns away if there ever is reform. What the f*ck do you need an AR-15 for anyway? It’s an assault rifle. Assault. It’s designed to take as many human lives away as possible because it’s a tool of war. You expecting war, my man? A two-party political system and the electoral college are tools created to perpetuate a false narrative that keeps us Pigeon hold to a corrupt system who’s only interest is to pocket as much wealth as possible, not move the country forward in the people’s interest. Competition is the mother of innovation so why is it there are only two options who, more and more, look the same? Capitalism doesn’t work in the way it should because the people in charge are assholes who kowtow to massive private interests and conglomerates. America is strong enough to secure itself, protect its national interests, and supply free education, healthcare, and a decent living wage without batting an eye. California, alone, is the 6th largest economy IN THE WORLD and we have 49 other states and a handful of territories that contribute as well. How is it we’re first in crime, last in education, and running point in wealth disparity again?

Its obvious capitalism isn’t working the way it should anymore. I think it’s because society has evolved beyond its principals. I think my generation is more interested in advancing society, not nationalism and I think the generations before us, the Baby Boomers and backward, are terrified of this change. They’ve been suckling at the teat of the all-knowing government machine since their youth and it terrifies them that the faith they gave to the watchers, has not been upheld. Trump feels like a panic play before the real wave of change hits. We’re already seeing it. Puerto Rican ma out in New York beat a 20- year Democratic incumbent. She’s democratic socialist and is very vocal about her views. We got a 24-year-old out in West Virginia running on an identical platform and he’s beating out a millionaire Republican. Bernie Sanders was a DNC sabotage away from being the Democratic nominee for president, and he was beating everyone in the field by double digit points! Hell, record numbers of cats 30 and younger have registered the vote in Florid for the first time in forever. You think those kids are going to follow the national trends? Millennials terrify the establishment because we hate the establishment. We see how terrible it is. We live how terrible it is. We have had access to other forms of government our entire lives. The globalization of the world and the fact that I can get instant information on my phone has given us a means to usurp the blind patriotism generations before us held dear. WE know America isn’t the greatest country in the world. There are facts that back that up. But it can be. And it starts with a vote toward universal healthcare. It stars with gun reform. It starts with a flat tax rate and government supplemented college tuition. It starts with a form on socialism that is both sustainable and realistic; a model that Denmark has followed for decades.

It starts with us.

[allthingwomancare]

New Post has been published on The Woman Life

New Post has been published on https://thewomanlife.info/ways-protect-health-body-winter/

Ways to protect your health and body in winter

Usually, it’s the winter time when we finally start thinking about our health. Nothing surprising. Insidious viruses waiting in every corner, terrible weather, always feeling cold – all those factors affect our body so that we get sick all the time. It’s time you should ask yourself how to boost your immune system and protect your health and body in general during the winter time? Specialists have their answers prepared.

Taking Care of Health during Winter

The decrease in immunity depends mainly on three factors: lack of physical activity, nutrition, and stress. To restore and strengthen the immune system, you need work on each of those three. The immune health basic guidelines always share the most essentials tips that help protect the overall immune system.

  And now, let’s go over 5 most effective health tips avoid getting sick this winter:

1. Switch to a healthy diet. The way you eat can tell a lot about your immune system and how protected it is. Having a variety of greens, raw vegetables or fruits in your ration can provide with all kinds of vitamins necessary to maintain good health. Don’t forget about products containing omega-3 fatty acids (fish or plant oils, seeds). According to recent studies, consuming omega-3 fatty acids protects you from inflammation, protect the skin and has a positive effect on mental health.

2. Be active and do exercises. Doesn’t matter if you are doing regular sports, go to the gym or simply workout at home – any sort of physical activity helps better the blood circulation and assists in fighting viruses much more effective. Plus, exercises lower a winter stress.

3. Fight stress. Stress can harm you any season of the year, but in winter you are especially vulnerable. Learn how to cope and manage stress before it completely weakens your health.

4. Have a good sleep. Sleep is the basics of everything. Follow a sleeping regime, which means try to go to bed and wake up at the same on a regular basis. Deal with insomnia if you suffer from one.

5. Keep your hands clean. Wash them before eating and use hand sanitizers after touching shared surfaces.

6. Stay warm! There’s no point to say how important it is to keep yourself warm when it’s always cold. Dress appropriately.

7. Take vitamins supplements. Oftentimes, vitamins contained in our food are not enough to protect ourselves during a severe winter. Taking vitamins as pills can fill a shortage of those vitamins that we are supposed to get with food but we really don’t.

Helping your body

• Nails

Nails in winter are prone to brittleness, dullness and delamination. So, if you want your nails to grow and remain healthy and beautiful, don’t forget about the need for nutrition and conditioning of a cuticle. For example, your hand cream should be enriched with avocado oil, allantoin (which has a lot of benefits), vitamins A and E that contribute to a healthy nail growth. Herewith, it is necessary to have medical and restorative coverings in the arsenal.

In addition to professional nail care tools, pay attention to your diet. To strengthen the nails, choose foods containing selenium, silicon, sulfur. Selenium contains in olives, eggs, algae, garlic. Silicon can be found in bananas, salads and parsley, currant, green beans. Sulfur – in cheese, eggs and meat, fish, peas, green beans, oatmeal.

• Hair

Hair protection during your winter, start small. First, minimize the influence of hot temperatures on hair – avoid over-drying by washing it in warm or even cool water by not drying it with a hot hairdryer. Second, purchase a natural wood massage hairbrush – massage improves blood circulation. Third, consume all kinds of vitamins (especially, A, C, E, B).

To protect your hair in winter, try to limit smoked, salty, spicy, fatty foods and sweets in your ration. Forth, wear a hat, just at least for your hair protection. But don’t forget to let your hair breath, so don’t be lazy to take your hat off inside during a day. Finally, wash your head with special shampoos designed for winter hair care and suitable for your own hair type. And make sure you apply conditioning balm on your hair after washing.

• Skin

Take care of your skin because in winter it is especially vulnerable. Moisturizing is the key to a healthy skin during this season. Use a protective nourishing face cream during the day a moisturizing face cream at night. By the way, never apply a moisturizing face cream right before you go out or else you risk catching a frostbite. For women it’s important to find a good foundation that has SPF 20. Winter can make your skin dry not only on the face or hands but also the skin all over your body. Thus, use skin lotion to moisturize it every now and then.

• Gaining Weight

It’s no secret people gain weight in winter because the body needs calories to warm itself up and because we lack physical activity. In order to kip yourself fit, first of all, don’t lock yourself at home – go out for walks and stay active. Oftentimes, we keep eating because we are bored or have nothing to do during long evenings in front of TV or computer.

The solution is trying to occupy yourself with some interesting activities. Exercising can be one of them, whether it’s gym, dancing classes or just morning walks with a dog. Next, follow your nutrition diet and count calories so that you can always see where to stop. Finally, try to have meals at a certain time each day so that your body knows when to activate its digestive system.

Taking care of your health and body doesn’t mean a lot of efforts. It’s just a matter of good habits.

[dietadviser]

7 Subtle signs you`re addicted to sugar

As a rather fanatical tidy eater that leans Paleo, I make sure you could guess which side I'm on. I'm not scared to state that sugar is the adversary (which, I expect, makes kale Jesus). In the 2 years since I've eliminated refined sugar completely - conserve for my cheat day splurges occasionally - I have actually observed a massive distinction in myself: higher energy levels, better resistance, maintained state of mind and that generally smug feeling you obtain when you're a clean eater.

Dig a little much deeper, and also you'll rapidly see that research doesn't err on the side of 'white toxin.' In 2013, Connecticut College researchers broke out the large weapons when they stated that Oreos are just as addicting as drug. Kay Tye, primary private investigator at the Picower Institute for Learning and also Memory, verifies that compulsive sugar-seeking is inscribed in a different way by the brain compared to normal eating - which seems like book addiction to me. Consuming sweet foods not just develops a bad routine, however it could hardwire you to yearn for more by altering your mind. As hard as it is to believe, scientists claim that also artificial sugars may be better for you compared to a hit of the good stuff.

Just like other insidious medication, sugar is stealthy. That cupcake you snuck at lunch may be the entrance to a full-on sugar binge. The huge trouble is that sugar addiction has come to be extensively accepted. Your buddies will possibly laugh as well as roll their eyes when you tell them that you require an extended remain in Sugar Rehabilitation because sweet taste is taking over your life.

Or maybe you're like the rest of the globe, living happily yet alarmingly in the Dungeon of Sugar Rejection. You may not realize you have a sugar problem till you clean your system and see just what life is truly like without sugar hurrying via your blood vessels. As the stating goes, the very first step is confessing you have a problem. If you're not listened to exactly how sugar is impacting your body, these early caution indications of sugar addiction are very easy to overlook.

1. You can't stop snacking

Mindlessly grazing throughout the day doesn't really mean you are starving. It is among the first dead giveaways of sugar dependency, states Kinsey Jackson, L.M.P., M.S., C.N.S., blog writer at PaleoPlan.com. This is exactly what it appears like when your body is riding the 'blood glucose roller coaster,' leaving you vulnerable to hyperglycemia, prediabetes and also Type 2 diabetes. 'Eating carbohydrate-rich foods like breads, noodles, chips, candies, colas, fruit and juices triggers our blood glucose levels to spike, adhered to by a decrease. Our bodies regard this decrease in blood sugar as hazardous, creating us to yearn for even more sugar in a thick cycle,' says Jackson.

2. You're addicted to coffee

Ruh roh. I need to admit this is my weak point. I've surrendered everything else in my brand-new tidy consuming life, including delicious sugar, however you're going to need to pry my morning coffee from my cool, dead hands. Jackson describes that coffee by itself isn't the issue - it's exactly what you place in it. She states, 'The sugars and also mixers utilized in coffee are often packed with carbs that swiftly damage down into sugar (glucose) in your blood. Several individuals that 'offer up' coffee find themselves craving other sources of sugar to replace what's been lost from these beverages. Furthermore, food craving caffeine might be another sign that you're secretly addicted to sugar.'

3. You eat a lot of fruit

Isn' t eating fruit a great point if you're on a weight loss? Is nothing sacred? The actual issue stems from making use of health as a reason to eat excessive fruit since your wonderful tooth can not be pleased. 'Do not allow fruit fool you. Several individuals fall short to recognize that fruit is sugar also! Fruit juices are specifically high-glycemic as well as frequently craving or consuming fruit could be a sign that you're secretly addicted to sugar,' Jackson explains.

It's vital to keep an eye out for fruit overload spurred on by underlying sugar dependency, yet Dr. Jackie Mills - head of nourishment at Les Mills and also developer of Excellent Protein - claims you can enjoy fruit in small amounts on a healthy and balanced diet, 'Something essential to bear in mind is that this care about fructose (a sugar discovered in fruit and produced processed foods) does not relate to fruit, which is a genuine food with vitamins, minerals, fiber, great deals of water and also is harder to overindulge (within factor!).'

4. You're tired all the time

Feeling tired after a long, difficult day is normal. Feeling tired when you get up and also dragging yourself via the workweek is not. One of the most significant adjustments I saw in myself after removing polished sugar was an instant energy increase: I'm still a tired working mother chasing after 2 kids, but I feel significantly much less fatigued than I did just a few years back. You might have a troubled partnership with sugar if 'you suffer extreme fatigue or have trouble focusing' without your day-to-day dosage, states Dan DeFigio, writer of Beating Sugar Dependency for Dummies.

Dr. Barry Sears - a leading authority in anti-inflammatory nutrition as well as writer of the recently published The Mediterranean Zone - adds, 'Among ideal indicators that you are addicted to sugar is that you are regularly fatigued. This suggests that insufficient glucose is reaching your muscle mass because of insulin resistance. Therefore, you are not able to produce enough chemical power. A new rise of glucose entering the blood stream provides you short-lived power. This sugar could originate from sweetened sodas, fruit juices, including excessive sugar to coffee, bread products and also any kind of food product made with refined sugars.'

5. You're overweight

Load your body up with sugar everyday, and it's mosting likely to be practically difficult for you to keep a healthy weight. Dr. Mills takes into consideration weight gain and weight problems prime signs that your body has an undesirable dependence on sugar. 'While sugar (an all-natural sugar our bodies make) is necessary as well as can be metabolized by quite much every cell in the body, fructose provides the body zero nutritional advantage. Fructose should be processed by the liver, as well as when this occurs in huge amounts, most of the fructose gets transformeded into fat. This procedure is a leading root cause of obesity.'

6. You need dessert

Eating something sweet after a big meal is as common as that treat cart that rolls around after supper - it's expected. However if you have actually specified where you can not end up a savory dish without a sweet reward, you might have a bigger issue on your hands. 'The symptom I see in my clients (and experienced myself) that most typically goes under the radar is a demand to eat of sweet taste at the end of a meal,' claims Liz Flint-Somerville, dietary treatment expert and genuine food blogger. 'I have actually seen a wide series of symptoms, from obtaining upset when dessert isn't provided, to really feeling agitated and incomplete up until popping an after-dinner mint. We've come to be familiar with having sugar after a meal to such a level that yearning it really feels completely normal, even though baked goods and also sugary treats need to be an exemption, not the rule.'

7. You can't quit

As subtle maybe, a traditional sign of addiction is not having the ability to regulate your habits. DeFigio says it might be time to run up the white flag if you can no more handle your sugar intake. Inning accordance with DeFigio, you may have an issue if: 'You repeatedly eat too much sugar, despite the fact that you guarantee on your own that you'll never ever do it once again.'

You'll recognize you have a dependency if your sugar yearnings get back at more powerful whenever you attempt to cut back. DeFigio explains, 'You [may] experience physical withdrawal symptoms if you do without sugar for a day or two.' Jackson includes, 'Going 'sugar-free' is an excellent method to swiftly involve terms with simply exactly how addicted you are to sugar. In basic, the much more regular and also extreme the cravings, the a lot more addicted you most likely are!'

How to break up with sugar

It's one point to white-knuckle it and also remove sugar cool turkey, which could lead to a couple of undesirable days of withdrawal, as well as it's quite an additional making the detox procedure gentler by supporting your body with a supplement like coconut oil. Coconut oil, abundant in healthy fats called MCTs, opponents sugar in its capability to supply a fast shock of power without an insulin spike. It likewise assists decrease those dreadful sugar yearnings. Sarah Wilson, writer of I Quit Sugar, considers everyday coconut oil her secret weapon in damaging her sugar addiction virtually 3 years ago.

[allthingwomancare]

New Post has been published on The Woman Life

New Post has been published on https://thewomanlife.info/ways-protect-health-body-winter/

Ways to protect your health and body in winter

Usually, it’s the winter time when we finally start thinking about our health. Nothing surprising. Insidious viruses waiting in every corner, terrible weather, always feeling cold – all those factors affect our body so that we get sick all the time. It’s time you should ask yourself how to boost your immune system and protect your health and body in general during the winter time? Specialists have their answers prepared.

Taking Care of Health during Winter

The decrease in immunity depends mainly on three factors: lack of physical activity, nutrition, and stress. To restore and strengthen the immune system, you need work on each of those three. The immune health basic guidelines always share the most essentials tips that help protect the overall immune system.

  And now, let’s go over 5 most effective health tips avoid getting sick this winter:

1. Switch to a healthy diet. The way you eat can tell a lot about your immune system and how protected it is. Having a variety of greens, raw vegetables or fruits in your ration can provide with all kinds of vitamins necessary to maintain good health. Don’t forget about products containing omega-3 fatty acids (fish or plant oils, seeds). According to recent studies, consuming omega-3 fatty acids protects you from inflammation, protect the skin and has a positive effect on mental health.

2. Be active and do exercises. Doesn’t matter if you are doing regular sports, go to the gym or simply workout at home – any sort of physical activity helps better the blood circulation and assists in fighting viruses much more effective. Plus, exercises lower a winter stress.

3. Fight stress. Stress can harm you any season of the year, but in winter you are especially vulnerable. Learn how to cope and manage stress before it completely weakens your health.

4. Have a good sleep. Sleep is the basics of everything. Follow a sleeping regime, which means try to go to bed and wake up at the same on a regular basis. Deal with insomnia if you suffer from one.

5. Keep your hands clean. Wash them before eating and use hand sanitizers after touching shared surfaces.

6. Stay warm! There’s no point to say how important it is to keep yourself warm when it’s always cold. Dress appropriately.

7. Take vitamins supplements. Oftentimes, vitamins contained in our food are not enough to protect ourselves during a severe winter. Taking vitamins as pills can fill a shortage of those vitamins that we are supposed to get with food but we really don’t.

Helping your body

• Nails

Nails in winter are prone to brittleness, dullness and delamination. So, if you want your nails to grow and remain healthy and beautiful, don’t forget about the need for nutrition and conditioning of a cuticle. For example, your hand cream should be enriched with avocado oil, allantoin (which has a lot of benefits), vitamins A and E that contribute to a healthy nail growth. Herewith, it is necessary to have medical and restorative coverings in the arsenal.

In addition to professional nail care tools, pay attention to your diet. To strengthen the nails, choose foods containing selenium, silicon, sulfur. Selenium contains in olives, eggs, algae, garlic. Silicon can be found in bananas, salads and parsley, currant, green beans. Sulfur – in cheese, eggs and meat, fish, peas, green beans, oatmeal.

• Hair

Hair protection during your winter, start small. First, minimize the influence of hot temperatures on hair – avoid over-drying by washing it in warm or even cool water by not drying it with a hot hairdryer. Second, purchase a natural wood massage hairbrush – massage improves blood circulation. Third, consume all kinds of vitamins (especially, A, C, E, B).

To protect your hair in winter, try to limit smoked, salty, spicy, fatty foods and sweets in your ration. Forth, wear a hat, just at least for your hair protection. But don’t forget to let your hair breath, so don’t be lazy to take your hat off inside during a day. Finally, wash your head with special shampoos designed for winter hair care and suitable for your own hair type. And make sure you apply conditioning balm on your hair after washing.

• Skin

Take care of your skin because in winter it is especially vulnerable. Moisturizing is the key to a healthy skin during this season. Use a protective nourishing face cream during the day a moisturizing face cream at night. By the way, never apply a moisturizing face cream right before you go out or else you risk catching a frostbite. For women it’s important to find a good foundation that has SPF 20. Winter can make your skin dry not only on the face or hands but also the skin all over your body. Thus, use skin lotion to moisturize it every now and then.

• Gaining Weight

It’s no secret people gain weight in winter because the body needs calories to warm itself up and because we lack physical activity. In order to kip yourself fit, first of all, don’t lock yourself at home – go out for walks and stay active. Oftentimes, we keep eating because we are bored or have nothing to do during long evenings in front of TV or computer.

The solution is trying to occupy yourself with some interesting activities. Exercising can be one of them, whether it’s gym, dancing classes or just morning walks with a dog. Next, follow your nutrition diet and count calories so that you can always see where to stop. Finally, try to have meals at a certain time each day so that your body knows when to activate its digestive system.

Taking care of your health and body doesn’t mean a lot of efforts. It’s just a matter of good habits.