#to rip and tear and meltdown when simply touching/seeing it. can now wear cordouroy pants and hats | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

andromedasummer · 2 years ago

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listen i need u people to understand that when i say i find your white man unattractive specifically to me and my tastes/say i am surprised they are found conventionally attractive, it is 99% because their style of facial hair is giving me such a bad sensory reaction i cannot look at them. i am sure your man is normal under there. if i look at his patchy beard any longer i am going to have to lock myself in a room and stim or i'll bite something and tear out my fingernails and not in a good way.

#i dont get it either okay #its like. specifically dark patchy beards #where its more stubble than a beard #i cannot stand it #the only way i can describe it is like.#i look at it and i feel a sense of tenseness in my chest/throat. im itchy under the fingernails and feel the need to scratch #my body and brain are telling me to run and i will need to get something soft to relax #few things for my sense trigger this and ive been trying to acclimate to them cos. cant go through life like that #first and in the past. the worst. is cordouroy. screamed when put on it or wearing it as a toddler. taught myself to not feel the urge #to rip and tear and meltdown when simply touching/seeing it. can now wear cordouroy pants and hats #if i bite down into a mushroom the feeling in my mouth makes me want to shut down and cry #and then. theres whatever the fuck is going on with the beards #its entirely visual i dont mind how beards/stubble feel i got used to them cos my dad would hug me when i was little #and it would rub against my cheek #its so bad i have actively stopped liking people i once found attractive because of that specific style of facial hair #idk what it is it just makes their face cause an internal aggressive fuzz inside of me #and i have to look away #i thought it was personal taste but then lime confirmed they experience the same thing #when looking at a guy i was talking about who sends me to sensory hell #so its an autism thing i guess #which means. acclimation time. so i have to get used to seeing dark haired dudes with weird spotty short patchy facial hair eugh

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