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manychocolatefactories · 4 years ago

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CatCF: White Chocolate

And here is my White Chocolate retelling!

About this version: This version could take place in something between the 90s and the 2000s. It has been strongly inspired by both the world of cartoons in general, and "A Series of Unfortunate Events", as strange as it may seem. In this version, you have Seven Platinum Tickets.

Reinterpretation of Augustus Gloop:

Augustus Gloop, first Platinum Ticket winner. This Augustus, I imagined as a bully.

Physically, he is a very round boy. His belly is round, his torso is round, his face is round, his arms and legs are round, he basically looks like a bunch of balloons tied together, or a mass of spheres/globes. He has two great "beaver teeth". In terms of clothes, he eithers wears hoodies too small for him and of bright, vivid, flashy colors (orange, yellow, pink) or he wears striped shirts that are not slimming at all (such as the red and white stripes shirt of Augustus Gloop in the 2005 movie).

To all adults, Augustus plays the part of the cute, happy, innocent boy. But to all the other kids, he is a horrible, nasty, brutal and greedy bully. He likes to torture and dominate others - though he is not a sadist. He just seeks power and dominion, he loves to strike fear and submission in the heart of other children. A good exemple of his double-faced nature are his beaver teeth - he can actually speak perfectly fine with them, even though they gave him a slight lisp that is quite cute to adults. But with children, he worsens his lisp on purpose so that he would spit and splutter all over their faces, and when said children complain, the adults keep saying things like "He can't help it, he is just different, don't discriminate".

Augustus actually used to be a regular-sized kid (even though taller and bigger than his comrades, but not that fat). He regularly beat up, gave wedgies or other typical bully tortures on his peers to get their money or their toys. But it all changed when one day a boy had the idea to offer him his lunch instead of his money. Augustus was a big eater you see, and he seized the opportunity of having a free lunch. And since all the other kids preferred to give up their lunch rather than their money of their toys, they all started to "encourage" (as in, subtly manipulating him) so that he would racket lunch and food instead of money out of them. As a result, Augustus grew immensely fat on all the free food he got each day - and with his bigger size he could intimidate and crush other kids more easily. But at least, they didn't had to steal money from their parents anymore.

His demise will be with the Exploding Candies (remember those?). I think they would be going by a section of the Factory where some of Wonka's candies are stored, and Augustus would see another kid holding an Exploding Candy. Not knowing what it is, he would bully said kid (maybe Charlie?) into giving it to him. He would swallow it and then...

BOOM! HE EXPLODES INTO LITTLE PIECES!

No, I'm kidding Xp Actually I went with something much more cartoony (this Augustus himself being cartoony - in fact I based him in "fat Chuck with beaver teeth" from the cartoon "Chuck's Choices". It may sound weird but it makes kind of sense in the series Xp). He would suddenly be all distended and inflated like a balloon, and then deflate completely (again, like a balloon), reduced to a flat, pancake-like boy, with smoke coming out of his mouth, nose and ears.

Reinterpretation of Violet Beauregarde:

The character is named Violet Strabismus, second Platinum Ticket winner. For her, I tried to think about what kind of people/archetype/stereotypes were seen chewing gum all day long, and I ended up finding this idea upon seeing a girl on a train that corresponded exactly to that.

This Violet is the typical embodiment of the cynic, "pseudo-edgy" teenager that seeks everything that is bleak and dark. She is a mix of goth, of emo, of punk and grunge. She only wears and surround herself with things dark, creepy, sinister or sad. She romanticizes notions such as despair, death, suicides, and the like. She is the kind of teenager that claims her whole life is just a series of pains and losses, that she seeks comfort in the darkness and the morbidity, and she disdains everything joyful, innocent or happy. Her two favorite hobbies are chewing gum, and trying to destroy other people's dreams and hopes with depressing talk.

The irony in all that, however, is that despite Violet's claims that she has a miserable and sad life, she actually has a very happy one. She has loving parents that support her in everything she does, and siblings that also love her. She comes from a wealthy background, which allows her to buy all the chains and piercings and extremely complicated goth/punk clothes she wants at specialized stores. She is quite a pretty and good-looking girl, even with her creepy clothes and dark makeup. She even has a huge house, and in fact despite her claims to adore death, never went to a funeral ever in her life, and never knew anyone that died. Still, she keeps repeating that she is a "misunderstood, bullied, rejected loner". And she is not suicidal herself, mind you, nor depressed. She is perfectly fine. She just wants to look like she is, to "fit her style".

Her demise, as with all the Violet variations in my stories, relies on the Three-Course Meal gum. But here, the dish used is the ice-cream. I had the idea that the gum would actually turn Violet's flesh into ice-cream. As a result she is immediately put inside Wonka's cold storage room and freezers, so she doesn't melt. And she is condemned to live her life alone, in dark, cold, locked up places, exactly as she pretended and wished to.

Reinterpretation of Veruca Salt:

Now, I am not much satisfied with this Veruca Salt, but well, it is still worth a shot, even though the idea itself may be not so original.

Veruca Salt, third Platinum Ticket winner. For this Veruca, I envisioned actually a character based on Darla Dimple from "Cats Don't Dance". She is a small, cute and child-like girl, that looks almost like a pretty little doll, but who is able to scream with an insanely powerful voice and can act like a total brat by throwing extremely destructive tantrums and breaking everything everywhere if she doesn't have what she wants.

Her demise was actually suggested by ArtMakerProductions - the Geese Room. The Geese Room from the 70s movie would return, with a full room having geese lay chocolate eggs for Easter (I also think Wonka would be disdainful of this silly idea according to which rabbits laid the Easter eggs). And when Veruca would throw one of her usual tantrum, one of the goose would believe her to be one of her children (due to Veruca's screams sounding like a goose' screams) and just sit on her, crushing the little girl. (Not to death of course, but that's one big goose Xp).

Reinterpretation of Mike Teavee:

This one was hard to think about, but I finally found something I'm quite proud of.

Mike's character is obsessed with television, right? And he wishes to be INSIDE television, right, that's the core of his demise. Well... what about a Mike Teavee that is obsessed with television not as a watcher but as an actor?

Henry Trout, fourth Platinum Ticket winner, is a former child actor who used to be the star of numerous teenager sitcoms and other televisions shows by Disney-like productions. All this fame turned him into a spoiled, arrogant and selfish brat, and when he was kicked off the shows, for both being too old AND being just too much of a jerk, he couldn't let go of the past. He believes that everyone knows him through his work as an actor, and that everyone is a fan of him. He spends a lot of his time looking at his old television shows, and television is his only topic when speaking with other people. He still dresses and acts like a star - and never once realizes that a good lot of people don't know or even remember him. As per ArtMakerProductions, his parents are also his agents, and they desperatly try to find back their son's former glory, by "overselling" him to get a lot of media exposure, and still doing a lot of advertisement and promotion despite him not getting any real work - the finding of a Platinum Ticket was another attempt at becoming famous once more.

Take the characters of "fallen stars" such as Norma Desmond in "Sunset Boulevard" and Jane Hudson from "Whatever happened to Baby Jane?". Mix them with the former Disney or Nickelodeon child and teenage stars, especially if they had a dark turn in their life (the Spouse twins, David Henrie, Cameron Boyce, Zac Efron...). And you get Henry Trout.

His demise is still the Television Room, like all the other Mikes. However his variation is that the television Wonka used was prepared to teleport and air objects, such as Wonka bars. It is still a technology in working, and they only focused on the material and visual parts. They haven't worked on the sounds. As a result, once Henry Trout gets on TV, he is insanely happy because now everyone will see him and nobody will kick him out... but then he realizes he can't speak, because there is no sound. And when rescues from the television, he discovers he turned completely mute.

Reinterpretation of Charlie Bucket :

Charlie Bucket, the seventh and last Platinum Ticket winner.

For this one... I actually don't know. I wanted to do a Charlie based on the "brown-haired Charlie" as illustrated for exemple by 2005's Charlie. But I hesitate. On one side, I haven't used yet the idea of "the too-saint Charlie", aka a Charlie Bucket so good and so perfect he becomes a male Mary Sue, unrealistic and annoying, an exaggerated caricature of a good boy. I thought I could potentially use this with the brown-haired Charlie, especially since 2005's Charlie was criticized for being a too-perfect child.

On the other side, I also liked the idea of a crippled Charlie, in the mind of "Tiny Tim" from A Christmas Carol, and I also thought it would be fitting for him...

So I'll let it float for now.

Reinterpretation of the deleted kids :

# Terence Roper. Since this one had barely any personnality in the original drafts, I decided to include him (especially since I already reinvented the two other kids part of his trio - Clarence Crump and Bertie Upside).

I think of Terence Roper as the typical "hot bad guy" archetype. He is a criminal kid, and a little delinquant, that drives despite not having a permit, that steals, that robs, that like to spread chaos and destroy shop windows and tag walls etc... I think he is the son of two famous criminals, and thus thinks of crime as the "family business". But he is also a very good-looking, very charming, and very popular boy, which resulted in him not only being leader of gangs and the like, but also having a sort of cult or worship around him - similarly to how "bad boys" in high schools can be idolized. I think something very similar appened with his parents - I want to explore with this character how people worship criminals, with very successful bandits, mafioso or drug dealers ending up as popular and romanticized and idolized as movie stars, singers or the like.

He is the blousons noirs of the 50s and 60s, the old-fashioned troublemakers pachucos, the greaser delinquants of the movie Grease, and all other fashionable kind-of-criminal groups you could think of.

But the irony here is that Terence actually got his Platinum Ticket by legal means, by buying a chocolate bar - and in fact, for him to have found the Golden Ticket and not stole it is a great disappointment and shame.

For his demise I thought of re-using the Fizzy Lifty Drink. He would stole it in an act of bravado, and drink it without realizing what it was - which would result in him getting a perpetual case of bad gazes (frequent burps, farts, and other stomach noises). This would completely ruin his cool and good looking image, as well as any kind of grace or discretion he may have.

# Miranda Mary Piker. Sixth Platinum Ticket Winner (Terence Roper was fifth). She is based on the character as most know her : a school-obsessed, fun-killing girl. The original incarnation was a stern, no-nonsense, very strict girl that basically acted like any cruel headmistress or teacher from those horrible British boarding schools. However, given that this character was alreayd beautifully reintepreted by Danguy96, I wanted to do something slightly different. This Miranda is more like an "annoying moral guardian". She is still obsessed with school, good work and being an obedient and good child, and she still disdains silly things such as games, entertainment or fun in general, but instead of being a stern and harsh girl, she would rather be a nagging and annoying pest, that keeps giving speeches and sermons to everyone about why you should act a certain way and not another, a walking moralization that keeps trying to teach "proper manners", "maturity" and "basic knowledge" to everyone in a very condescending way. I also thought she would try to dress up as an adult, and thus with adult clothes - but since she is just a cild, said clothes are much too big for her, resulting in her looking kind of ridiculous.

Her demise would, of course, be the Spotty Powder. I can't remember if this was an idea that was suggested to me, or one used by someone else in their reinterpretation, but I like the concept that instead of falling inside the machine and being crushed to death, Miranda (and possibly her school director father) would actually fall into a big pile of the Spotty Powder, and thus develop all the symptoms of a contagious disease and be forbidden from setting a foot in school for a very long period of time.

Reinterpretation of the rival chocolatiers :

This is the big defining feature of White Chocolate. In this version, the rivals of Wonka have a big part to play.

They don't appear in themselves - but they sent emissaeries, messengers and spoekpersons to contact each of the kids that won a Platinum Ticket, in a similar way to the 70s movie, and each chocolatier tempts the kid with a different "treat".

Slugworth seems to be a chocolatier involved in the criminal underworld - his emissaries at least seem to have some criminal undertones, and act through fear and violence rather than seduction. In fact, I think his chocolate and candy business may actually be a "cover" for darker criminal activites, and "washing" of dirty money.

Augustus Gloop receives the visit of a man with "icy blue eyes and nasty purple scars on his cheeks". He passes off as a waiter in the restaurant in which Augustus is celebrating, even though it is just a disguise. He tries to convince Augustus by both subtle threats, and the promise of a free pass and unlimited offer in all the restaurants and buffets of the town.

And Terence Roper, due to his criminal connections, actually is invited to the house of a wealthy man with ties to the criminal world, a creepy man in fancy, wealthy suits, but stuck in a wheelchair and with a fake eye shining like a silver dollar.

Slugworth's purpose seems to be the destruction of Wonka. He tries to convince the children to sabotage or put maybe bombs and things like that inside the Wonka factory, or to ruin batches of candy, stuff like that.

Prodnose rather keeps sending women as emissaries. In fact even thought of making Prodnose actually a female chocolatier, but I don't know yet... I thought of Prodnose as some sort of media mogul, that tries to spread their brand to everything (there are Prodnose television shows, book series, toys, sport equipment, gardening tools, etc...) including candy-making and chocolate-making.

One "messenger" contacts Veruca Salt. She is one of the journalists interviewinv the young girl after she found her Ticket. Based on Cherry from the musical, she is a happy, charmant, pleasant woman. But her face has something... weird to it, almost unnatural, as if she had a bad surgery job done to it. And she keeps smiling all the time - her smile seems completely stuck.

Henry Trout is the other one to receive a messenger from Prodnose. As Henry goes to have a new suit tailored for him (because of course Henry only had tailored suit perfectly to his size), the tailor reveals herself as a messenger of Prodnose, who could easily bring back Henry in Prodnose-made television series and shows. The tailor herself is a tall and thin lady all dressed in black, and with long, spindly fingers with long and pointy nails - her hands in fact look like creepy spiders.

I thought of probably Prodnose trying to cause a huge scandal inside the Wonka factory, and thus asking the kids to find out Wonka's dirty secrets, and if not, to invent some that they would "reveal" upon leaving the Factory. Where Slugworth tries to ruin physically and economically Wonka, Prodnose tries to ruin his reputation and to discredit him on moral ground.

As for Fickelgrubber, he is actually envious of Wonka. I think he is a very young person hailing from a very wealthy and powerful family, and his dream was to become a candy-maker, but he was very bad at it. However he refused to give up - especially when seeing how Wonka was succesful. Fickelgrubber is an envious and jealous child-minded young person, and he refuses to admit Wonka can succeed where he fails. Fickelgrubber has tried to copy and steal Wonka's inventions for years now, but all his attempt ended up failing miserably - he copied the ice-cream that never melt of Wonka, but they had a tendency to turn into rock-hard material. He copied the gum that could create gigantic balloons of Wonka, but he mixed up the recipe, and the gum actually made kids inflate and pop like balloons. And when Fickelgrubber released glow-in-the-dark candies, it was later revealed they contained a huge dose of radioactive components.

Fickelgrubber's emisseries are creepy kids (I still don't know if they are "friends" of his or merely all sorts of cousins of his real family - as I said, Fickelgrubber is quite young, both in spirit and mind).

Violet, upon visiting her local cemetery, is contacted by a beautiful blond teenager standing on the wall of the cemetery. He acts flirtingly, seductively, playing the "good cop" (and he also actually acts like a cat, meowing, purring and sometimes even moving like a cat - I thought of him as a parody of Cat Noir from Miraculous). And when Violet is not receptive to this, the boy presents his sister, that is waiting behind Violet. A big, burly, muscular girl with a bulldog-like face.

Miranda is also contacted by Fickelgrubber emissaries - twin girls, identical, but "perfect", as in with perfectly clean and ordered clothes, identical beautiful hairstyle, and the like (I thought of them as inspired by the twins from The Shining). They are basically the kind of "perfect" and "proper" kids Miranda seeks to create in the world. And they try to convince her to join them (they even have prepared for Miranda clothes identical to their own so that they would become their new sister). I don't know however how would Miranda react to that - either she refuses, due to stealing secrets being perceived as cheating and she is against it ; either the sisters actually convince her to go along with the plan by the simple argument that Wonka is an excentric, ridiculous man that gets success without hard work, and Miranda hates both goofy/clownish and not-hard-working people.

As for Charlie Bucket, he will actually be visited in turn by one messenger from each chocolatier (in fact, he may even escape them when they start fighting each other).

Slugworth's emissary... I actually don't know. Xp I thought of maybe a kind olf man, almost grandfather like, that acts all nice and doting, but then reveals that inside his cane, there is a blade.

Prodnose's emissary is a loud-talking woman with a lot of makeup and wearing a huge coat made out of crocodile (I thought of her as a mix of Cruella and Ursula).

As for Fickelgrubber's emissaries, Charlie meets at first a beautiful Japanese teenager (male or female?) dressed in a refined suit, something between a fashion model and a succesful business owner. And when their smooth talk fails, they present their brothers - because they are triplets. And appear from the darkness two huge sumos, teenagers yes, but the size of elephants. (This was again inspired by usual sumo appearances in cartoons, from JCA to the Simpsons passing by Shuriken School).

#catcf #charlie and the chocolate factory #white chocolate #augustus gloop #mike teavee #violet beauregarde #veruca salt #terence roper #miranda mary piker #fickelgrubber #prodnose #slugworth

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katiehepburns · 4 years ago

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so, just binged Legends of Tomorrow, and for some reason, I wanted to write this down.

So, Legends is a really unique show. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and ridiculous but fun, reminding why I loved The Flash early years (season 1 & season 2).

apologies, for this rambling mess. this got written in a burst of energy which faltered towards the end.

What other show would have plots about time travel, Sisqo singing Thong Song during a battle scene, and a child toy’s furry toy Beebo helping the heroes or being seen as a “god.”

The time travel aspects have been a lot of fun. It’s really hard to pick my favorites (but I am a sucker for 1920 - 1950′s stories), and kudos to the casting directors who have gotten some great actors in guest starring parts (The actors who played JRR Tolkien and Elvis Presley were real highlights for me. Also I loved the young Marty Stein episodes). Also, Jonah Hex is probably my favorite recurring characters on this show, and I really hope that the writers find a way to bring him back.

Sara Lance, who I loved from Arrow, is the reason among other Arrowverse recurring players (Stein, Ray, Jax, Mick and Snart) that I started to watch this show. Sara’s storyline in season 1 and season 2 was really unique and fun to watch her evolve from dealing being brought back by Lazarus Pit, and opening herself open to being a hero and embracing her grief and pain, turning it into becoming a hero and the captain. My issue is with the later seasons (season 4 & 5) aside from the blindness incident (which became more of a plot device than actual storyline, which could have been really interesting to delve into) is Sara’s main purpose, aside to being a captain and kickass leader, is to be a love interest to Ava. She has some great moments being a surrogate sister to the other characters, but I wish she had more of an individual storyline (also that job offer thread was also dropped too quickly - I wish we got more of insight into what exactly it was and why it came about).

Ava, her growth over the past three seasons has been interesting and integrating her as part of the Legends has given some fun moments, especially to have her interact with all the other characters and become friends with them, but aside from those smaller side moments, her storyline is so wrapped up and her identity is purely revolves around being Sara’s girlfriend. I wish that she and Sara had individual storylines than just everything being just about their relationship. It’s great to see Sara (and Ava) happy and in a healthy relationship but wish that they weren’t just each other’s plot device.

Mick - it’s interesting that out of all the original cast outside of Sara, that he has lasted the longest. I always loved the Snart / Mick dynamic (partly because of I love Wentworth and Dominic from their Prison Break days as brothers), so it’s nice to see his character change very slowly, and evolve as the show has gone on. I just wish he had more scenes with Charlie - I loved their moments together and they were such kindred spirits. I am still not a 100% sold on the whole give Mick a teenage daughter, but Lita has been actual a fun side character. Lita works because she isn’t a bratty/angry/ annoying teenager, but as she spends her more time with Mick, I get that it’s about seeing a new side of him, and they have found a way of having her interact with the rest of the cast. Lita’s scene with Charlie in the season five finale was really moving and I liked how she was the one who motivated Charlie to help her friends.

Nate - I have mixed feelings about him. Yes, he’s fun, pretty, and amusing but sometimes, it just feels like he’s wedged into the show. I love all his friendships on the show especially with Sara, Ray, Behrad, but all his romantic relationships have fallen flat with me. I love love Zari and Amaya (they were both wonderful kickass women) as individual characters but I never could get behind their pairing with Nate. I did enjoy his interactions and meeting Grandpa Steel (I love the actor), and even his flawed and messed up relationship with his Dad. I am failing to express why Nate just doesn’t work as a love interest for me, but all his pairings, I could never get into, and it’s too bad. I wish the writers would give him a more interesting storyline that has nothing to do with his profession (his knowledge of history is important but they also have Gideon at their disposal soo..), his family, or a romance. It feels like of late, he’s just shoehorned into the show and it makes him very meh to me.

Ray - I was likely one of the few who liked his character from Arrow and it was nice to see him really evolve and become his own person (aside from a member of a ill fated love triangle) on LoT. He was fun and a real great asset to the Legends team, and I really enjoyed how of all of the characters, he interacted with most of all the cast and had relationships with all the different characters that were unique and fun. One of the great highlights was seeing how he was so welcoming and became a real genuine friend to John Constantine (one of my favorite moments of his was bonding with a dying Constantine). Also, what other character could bond with the man who was their enemy (Vandal Savage) over Jenga while being stuck in hell?! I’m just really bitter that the writers choose to write him out because while I loved the second half of season 5, something was missing with Ray gone. Based on Brandon’s comments about his exit, not to mention the COVID related challenges, I am not sure if Ray will pop up again so soon in season 6, but really want him and Courtney back on the show in an arc or full time. While the reason behind his exit was disappointing, the storyline did leave the door open for circumstances to change, and Ray and Nora could easily rejoin the Legends.

Nora - she was a real surprise to me. I didn’t mind Damien Darhk in Arrow but in Legends, he worked really well as a big bad, and plus Neal seemed to have a blast playing him. Nora was one of those characters who didn’t capture my interest in the beginning, but as time went on, and she became more than Damien’s daughter, she was such a compelling character. Aside from Charlie, her evolution on the show has been so interesting and it was amazing to see her change and learn to love all of herself, dark and light sides. At first romance with Ray had me skeptical, mostly because of my feelings of real life couples playing a on screen couple, but it just worked. Mostly, I love how as Nora slowly changed and evolved, that her relationships with the other characters grew (those Book Club scenes with Sara, Ava, Mona were soo much fun - wish that they had more moments together), there was so much more potential for Nora to bond and really become good friends with Charlie. Also, the small moments with John and Nora were great, and wish that the writers had given us more scenes with them, because of their unique and dark history. Also, Courtney as Marie Antoinette was a real blast. Like Ray, there was so much rich storylines to mine with her especially with Astra in the picture, aside from the fun and amusing places that they could have taken her as the new Fairy Godmother

John Constantine - this will probably be an unpopular opinion, but I absolutely love him, and thought bringing him into the show in season 3 gave it a nice boost of energy. The beginning of season 3 was a bit rocky for me (it had some great moments, but it was also really hard to get into for some reason). I know some people say that there is too much of him, but I disagree. The writers found a way to write him into the show in a natural way without shoehorning him. Yes, he’s had storylines about him (Astra, Desmond) but also those storylines have also been part of the larger arc of a particular season. It’s not just about Constantine, but how it has a ripple effect on the overall big bad. I find him refreshing and fun. Also, I really enjoy his dynamics with the cast (I love the Sara/John dynamic and god, I adored the Charlie/John friendship SO much). John and Zari 2.0 attraction and growing relationship in season 5 was a real highlight - they have my OTP kryptonite (polar opposite couple who bicker and banter but also are kindred spirits, who call each other out on their BS but they just get each other even if they won’t admit it). Can we also have a Mick / John team up in season 6?

Zari(s) - I really love them both. While I will miss Zari 1.0, I am interested to see how they will explore this new Zari and how she’ll fit into this team, and if she’ll struggle with having another version of her in the Totem, she has a chance to become more than she is. Also, how amazing is it to have a smart, brilliant, and kickass character, whose religion (Muslim) that doesn’t make her a stereotype and is embraced as part of who she is, and how it defines her. It’s not made into a joke. Also, an aside, I did really love the interactions with OG Zari and Constantine - their side adventures with Charlie in season 4 were so so much fun. Also, really wish for Zari 1.0, the writers had explored other romantic avenues for her than Nate (I would have loved to have seen a Charlie/Zari romance or more of a flirtation with Jonah Hex). And cat Zari? so cute.

Charlie - There aren’t enough words to say how much I loved her. She was another character who just interested me from day one, and I just loved everything about her. Amaya was fun and kickass, but Charlie, I fell in love with her. She was snarky, fun, and just fit so well with the team. Her evolution was really well done. I loved all her friendships with the other Legends especially Mick, John, and Sara. I was really crushed when the actress wanted to leave the show and work on other projects but glad that the door was left open for her to return for an episode or two.

Since this is soo long, remaining briefer thoughts:

Behrad is a precious bean. I am so glad he’s going to stay on the show.

Gary, while I like him and he’s worked well with the show’s hijinks, hope that his goofiness doesn’t get too old now he’s a season regular.

I still really miss Jax and Stein.

Aside from the really disappointing “love story” of Carter and Kendra, Wally was a character was so poorly used on the show and they did such a disservice to him.

Rip, while it took me awhile to warm up to him, still wish they had written off his character better in season 3. Hope they find a way to have him return for an episode or two.

Human Gideon? MORE PLEASE

I’d love to see Leo Snart again. Also, more Jonah Hex!!!

Probably a long shot, but it would be great to see Captain Lance pop up, or it would be fun to have Earth 2 Laurel and Tommy Merlyn team up with the Legends. Mostly, I’d love see Sara interact with her sister’s doppelganger.

Astra’s storyline in season 6 - really hope that the writers do her justice and watch her change as she spends more time with the Legends.

Nyssa, Sara’s former beloved, come on the show, pretty please?!

Gary Junior II, please don’t destroy the Waverider or try and kill the Legends

#legends of tomorrow #ramblings #this is so long #wow #john x zari #i don't know how to tag this #hellstar

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michelles-garden-of-evil · 4 years ago

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Episode 40 Review: In Which Matt Calls Out Jean Paul (Redux)

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

Welcome back to my Garden of Evil, the blog where I review and affectionately snark on Canada’s own all-American TV series, Strange Paradise. To my shock, Danny Horn of Dark Shadows Every Day (who introduced me to this delightfully crazy soap with his far more critical reviews) is back to posting more frequently than I do, which isn’t really relevant to this post save that I would not have expected it a year ago. (But then, there are many, many things that happened over this past year that I did not expect.) I would have posted this one sooner, but some urgent matters came up last week and I had to postpone.

Four episodes have passed since eccentric billionaire Jean Paul Desmond’s disastrous failed séance to contact his beloved late wife Erica. Medium and Conjure Woman Vangie Abbott has recovered from her injury, she and Raxl have tried (unsuccessfully) to decode the message in the sand writing box, and now Jean Paul insists on holding another séance! The other characters are trying to figure out how and why the ceremony was disrupted: most accuse Jean Paul of trying to murder them with the falling chandelier, while Vangie announces during the opening recap that she suspects the Reverend Matt Dawson of being a disruptive influence because of his disbelief in voodoo. Now sparks fly once again as another argument erupts between the Reverend and Jean Paul at an emergency meeting in the Great Hall.

Now, let’s begin.

We open with Jean Paul’s first tape recorder journal entry in a while, which is an exposition device that I had been missing mostly because I like mooning over Colin Fox while listening to his gorgeous voice:

Jean Paul: "Erica, my sweet wife, until the day comes when science can restore you to me, can release you from the cryonic suspension colder than ice, as cold as my empty life, I will continue trying to contact you through a séance. You must know the great effort I am making to protect you! But was the evil of Jacques Eloi des Mondes enough to prevent us from making contact at the séance that failed? Erica, believe me! I fought him with all my strength! I held him at bay, but he could not have got through unaided! These people in this house, Erica, I have been thinking about them: are they in consort with the Devil? Which one prevented me from hearing your sweet voice again, my Erica? Which one? If I knew-"

Caught him reading the Teleprompter! (That happens a lot in this episode, by the way.) Also, have I ever mentioned how much I love the lighting in his monitor room?

He stops recording when he sees Holly on the monitor, searching once again for that sweet secret passage in the crypt that she overheard the Reverend mention several episodes ago. Freaking out again over the possibility of danger to Erica’s cryonics capsule, he rushes down to the Great Hall and declares an emergency meeting:

Jean Paul shouting at his detained guests.

"Reverend Dawson, Mr. Stanton, I'm beginning to realize that you have not fully grasped my ruling!" Jean Paul shouts in his most pompous tone. "Now, to each and every one of you, this is most important, and how important it is you will all find out!"

Matt having a scared. I don’t usually find Dan MacDonald cute, but I think he is in this shot.

Quito guarding Holly as she hides in the crypt.

"EVERYBODY!” the Master of Maljardin shouts. “EVERYONE WITHIN THE SOUND OF MY VOICE!" [Line flub? His wording is odd.] "EVERYONE! COME TO THE GREAT HALL! DO YOU HEAR ME? EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE! THIS IS JEAN PAUL DESMOND CALLING! COME TO THE GREAT HALL AT ONCE! YOU TOO, HOLLY MARSHALL! NOW, ONCE AND FOR ALL, YOU WILL ALL GET THE MESSAGE!"

Jean Paul’s crazy eyes in this scene indicate that he means business.

Everyone gathers in the Great Hall, save Holly and Quito (who are hiding in the basement), Dan Forrest (who is probably in the tub), and Raxl (who isn’t there because Cosette Lee had the day off). Dr. Alison Carr is particularly annoyed, because she could be spending this time researching how to resurrect Erica, but instead is stuck listening to her brother-in-law’s latest hissy fit. Oddly enough, even though Jean Paul acts like a complete ass in this episode, Fox-C looks even more stunning than usual. I can’t explain why, but to me he looks especially handsome during Weeks 8 through 11 of the show. That certain je ne sais quoi of his just comes out particularly strongly during this period.

Jean Paul is so angry that you can see his jaw tensing.

Of all the detained guests in the room, he chooses to pick a fight with Matt, because that worked out so well for him five episodes ago. Elizabeth finds this highly amusing and comments with one of her best lines:

Elizabeth: "It seems to be your opportunity to entertain, Reverend. May I suggest Song of Solomon?"

Jean Paul doesn’t laugh, despite it being arguably the funniest joke anyone other than Jacques has made so far. I, too, want to hear Matt read from the Song of Solomon. Perhaps he has recorded a sermon about it for his album:

Matt’s album, You Can’t Fake Fruit, featuring his sermon “Wherever God Builds a House of Prayer, the Devil Builds a Chapel There” and selections from the Song of Solomon.

I’m not going to recap or quote their entire fight blow by blow, because I just don’t feel like it--and besides, these kinds of overly dramatic yelling matches are more fun to watch for yourself. However, I will note some highlights:

Matt suspects Jean Paul of murdering Dr. Menkin because of how soon he died after Erica. “Who can say how he died?” he asks as a rhetorical question before proclaiming overconfidently, “There, your control over this island begins to disintegrate!”

He also continues to oppose the notion that the Devil caused any of the events on the island, including the chandelier falling: “The chandelier falls, and it’s blamed on the Devil. And you accept these...superstitious reactions of a few, which are driving all of us beyond the bounds of reason!”

There’s a lot of focus on Holly, as you might expect, given that she‘s been searching in the crypt and also given Matt’s obsession with her. I’m glad he’s trying to protect her from Jean Paul now, even though I will always ship him with his right hand.

Alison stands up to Jean Paul and leaves in the middle of the argument. Good for her! Of course, after she leaves, Jean Paul has to passive-aggressively announce to everyone else that she will regret it.

Vangie tells Jean Paul and Matt that “when a devil works through a man, what he does is not an accident,” referring to the time that Dan allegedly damaged the cryocapsule. Jean Paul latches onto this idea, which Matt objects to because he believes it’s a ploy to turn everyone on the island against each other. So Jean Paul accuses Matt next of evil, which is not a question that most people will answer honestly. Ask Jacques if he’s evil and he will openly admit to it; ask someone like Elizabeth, on the other hand, and she will deny it.

Matt being what the kids today would call “a mood.”

Vangie on Matt: “Because he is a man of the cloth--a religious man--he made the contact [with Erica], but because of his disbelief in the spirits, the chain was weakened, the contact breaks. I would say that whenever the Devil is loose, anything or anyone can be his tool.”

I would say that Jean Paul in this episode is a tool, albeit a very handsome one.

Even his anger can’t disguise his cuteness.

Jean Paul ends the argument by threatening to punish Holly for invading the crypt. “Now you will see what happens to those who intrude on Erica’s resting place,” he tells the others and Elizabeth responds with this interesting, cryptic line:

So she approves of Jean Paul’s anger at her “impossible” daughter, but she doesn’t want him to punish her? Also note that she is eerily calm when she delivers this line.

In the next scene, Jean Paul gives Holly some serious mixed messages along the lines of the time my grandfather (with whom I used to live) told me “don’t worry about it” when he noticed my cat scratching at my bedroom door, then threw a fit over the (barely) damaged carpet a few hours later. I moved out of his house two and a half years ago but, up until recently, I got nervous any time anyone told me not to worry about something, because he’d often say things like “don’t worry about it” and “take it easy” shortly before he lost his temper over the very same things he told me not to worry about. In a similar vein, Jean Paul first tells Holly to “go ahead” into the crypt, only to then start ranting about how he thinks that some people on the island want the cryocapsule to break down and want to tell the authorities about what he’s doing on Maljardin.

“Now, what were you looking for, Miss Marshall?” he asks her menacingly after his rant.

“I wouldn’t touch that!” she replies, referring to the capsule. “I want you to bring your wife back to life!”

“Then what were you here for!”

“Looking for a way out!” She turns away from him, clutching her head. “Trying to get away from all this. I can’t stand it anymore!”

“I am going to have to make an example of you,” Jean Paul threatens.

“I was only looking for a secret door,” she protests, then explains how he (actually Jacques) led her down there to show him where she thought the secret passage was three episodes ago.

Before he can respond to her, Alison comes rushing down to the crypt to tell him about the notes of Dr. Menkin’s that Jacques left in her lab in Episode 38, which cover part of the previously missing six-week period of his experiments:

Sure, Jacques *might* answer, but only if he feels like it.

Jean Paul tells Alison, “guard these [notes] with your life,” and the episode ends, which means it’s time to discuss the Lost Episode summary. Normally, I do so in either the introduction or at a point in the episode where a plot point was changed, but here the events of the original episode differed so much from those of the final aired version that I decided to discuss them after my recap.

The Lost Episode 40

To begin, here is the summary for the original Episode 40:

Source: The Plain Dealer (November 7, 1969), p. 72.

So the second séance originally took place in this episode and involved a conflict between two spirits. But who? We know for certain the identity of one of these spirits, courtesy of these summaries for Episodes 41 and 42, respectively:

Source: Ibid, p. 84.

Source: Ibid., p. 88.

A slightly longer version of the latter summary from The Fitchburg Sentinel names this priestess Tarasca, the same figure who appeared in a puff of smoke in the original Episode 35 and whose existence apparently threatens Alison’s life. While most summaries of the original Episode 44 (including the one in The Plain Dealer) mention hallucinations, this one from The Minneapolis Star (November 13, 1969) specifically mentions that the hallucination took place at the séance:

Holly searches for the secret passageway when her sleeping mother re-lives the happenings at the séance.

So we know the identity of one of the fighting spirits from the second séance, but who is the other? This summary for Episode 38 states that Jacques promised Vangie that he wouldn’t interfere a second time, but can we really rely on him to keep his promises? (I believe that he most likely summoned Tarasca to mess with the second séance on his behalf while technically not getting involved in it himself.) Still, even considering Jacques’ lack of trustworthiness, it would make more sense for the other spirit to be Erica, given that the whole purpose of both séances is to contact her.

Curiously, another thing we know about the second séance is that Matt took part in it, because Vangie told him that Holly would be in danger if he refused. I know I called the summary for last episode boring, but hearing the way Vangie talks about him in this episode has made me rethink my previous dismissal of its importance. If Vangie demanded that Matt attend the second séance, that means that she must not have considered Matt a disruptive influence in the original, or at least not enough to exclude him.

Who else attended the séance? At the very least, Vangie, Matt, Jean Paul and Elizabeth, but logically Raxl and Quito as well because of their involvement in the Conjure Faith. Alison may also have attended, but I doubt it because (1) Vangie prefers séances with either five or seven participants including the spirit and (2) Alison is getting increasingly fed up with Jean Paul and may have refused to take part.

The mention of Holly being in danger also raises an additional question: which spirit was threatening her, Erica or Tarasca? For my attempt to answer that question--which would contain some spoilers if I included it here--you will have to wait for a future analysis.

Coming up next: The Bad Subtitle Special for Week 8, followed by a very special essay comparing Strange Paradise to the H. P. Lovecraft novella The Case of Charles Dexter Ward and its 1963 film adaptation The Haunted Palace. After that, a review of Episode 41.

{<- Previous: Episode 39 || Next: Episode 41 ->}

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17dork · 6 years ago

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What do you usually drink at meals? ** water and sometimes tea without flavor.

Does your washer make a lot of noise? ** yes but once the laundry room door is closed it’s okay.

How many hair straighteners/curlers/dryers are in your house? ** i don’t have one of them.

Which side of your face do you like better? ** left side.

Do you think that was a weird question? ** not at all lol.

Did you pull any pranks on April Fool’s day, or vice versa? ** sometimes and my friends will get mad but they can’t do revenge ehe.

Do you wave when you see people from your classes outside of school? ** when i’m in my school days, i prefer to call their name more than wave to them.

Would you prefer a black or white cellphone, or a bright colored one? ** black absolutely but i ever like the white one since it looks classy.

When you believe in the Easter Bunny, what did you picture him/her like? ** I don’t, since Easter Bunny was made for kids.

Does your mom, dad or siblings play any instruments? ** my dad, he’s good in a few instruments like guitar, bass, and keyboard.

Are you allowed to eat meals in the living room? ** yup.

How many people could fit comfortably to sleep in the room you’re in? ** one people on the floor with extra bed.

Around how much do you spend on Christmas presents? ** my family don’t really celebrate Christmas with presents so.. yeah.

Your last ex: how did you two get together? ** because we’re bestfriend at very first place and he likes me first.

Do you always have an ice cube in your drink? ** nope, I prefer cold drink.

Does the last person you spoke to have any siblings? ** they even have family.

What’s the best food for sleepovers? ** cheetos, chips, what.. they always offer me to buy junk foods honestly.

If you skip class, what one do you skip most? ** not in the school aha.

Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? ** only one photo and that was hanged on by my mom ugh

Does your mom dye her hair? ** yes, she dye it with dark purple and sometimes black

If yes, does she deny that she does? ** nah. she even ask me to choose the colors lol.

What do you do for fun when the power goes out? ** playing mystical music and turn on a candle, do meditation LOL.

Are ‘personal response’ essays painful to write for you? ** not in school but yes, painful.

Do you say ‘skip’, 'pip off’, or something else? ** skip.

If you had to, would you rather marry your English or math teacher? ** my English teachers always looks so handsome and a bit young, so I prefer my English teacher.

About how many books are in the room you’re in? ** too many. I even put them on my cupboard since I don’t have more spaces on my works desk.

What number do you ignore when it comes up on the display? ** stranger number, private number, and blocked number.

What is the best restaurant in the mall? What do you typically order there? ** sushi, suki and bento. I don’t know why I adore Japanese Foods so much.

Do you find history interesting? ** honestly, I’m really good at history.

Think of a friend whose name starts with any letter between A and M. ** Cindy (one of my babes)

How would you react if this friend kissed you? ** I will kiss her back and laugh in front of her face since she hate to be kissed.

If you were to a throw a party, would you invite them? ** yes.

Do you text this person? ** sometimes, since both of us are busy with jobs and real life matters.

Have you ever had a sleepover with them? ** once. because our jobs.

Does your best friend ever wear fake nails? ** nah.

What’s the last thing you searched on google? ** Download Bleach Anime with Eng Sub *LOLS

Have you read all the books on your bookshelf? ** not at all, my mom who do that things.

Would you ever go on a date with the last person you spoke to through IM? ** I don’t think I would haha.

Harry Potter or Twilight? ** I’m a proudly Potterhead

Would you be okay living on your own? ** I’d be okay.

How far can you run without breaking a sweat? ** 100m. After that I’m dying.

After swimming, do you just strip or go into a change room? ** of course.

Would you rather date an older man/woman, or a younger one? ** age doesn’t matter to me but i prefer the older.

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged naked? ** since I hugged my nephew so yes.

What about in their underwear? ** honestly totally naked.

Where did you get your favorite shirt? ** H&M (my style really suit with this shop)

How much was it? ** IDR 150K

Do you/your parents have any creepy pictures or painting up on the wall? ** I always asking them to put that things away if they have.

What’s the best kind of video game? (Adventure, shooting, etc) ** shooting and simulation.

How young is too young to date? ** 12 maybe?

How old is too old to date? ** doesn’t matter.

Does your mom swear? ** almost.

What was your biggest fear as a child? ** big spider like tarantula

Your biggest dream? ** treating happy myself and doing great for my loves

Do you know anyone who has road rage? ** me ehe.

How would you react if your mom got a lip piercing? ** mom its cool but can you don’t do that its kinda annoying me

What animal is really common to see in the woods where you live? ** cats

Would you like to follow in one of your parents’ footsteps? ** yes, especially my dad’s passion about art and music

Where did you get your favorite pair of pajamas? ** market.

Do you know anyone named Desmond? Do you like that name? ** what is that?

What/who do you take the most pictures of? ** I’m a cafe hunting and cloud chaser so mostly about cafe/coffee shop, or sky

What’s your screensaver? ** my parents pra-wedd photo

Do you prefer your hair in a bun or ponytail? ** ponytail

Have you ever kissed someone who had really dry lips? ** nope.

What is the last thing you celebrated? ** Chinese New Year

What were you last Halloween? ** my pajama

Have you ever suspected that your last ex was cheating? Why? ** yes because i tried to call him and he made a scene to ignore my call but one of my friends found him with the other girl. so.. like drama.

Has anyone ever told you they wanted to be with you forever? ** yes.

And are you still with them? ** yes

Was this survey interesting? ** sure but too long T___T

#meh #survey #playing on my dash #everyone can do this and post it thoo

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fadingfartconnoisseur · 8 years ago

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AK Monthly Recap: January 2017

Once again, I went a full month without leaving New York! I barely even left Manhattan, venturing to Brooklyn a total of twice.

The first time I did that, in April of last year, I was shocked and horrified at myself. This time, I welcomed it! The past few months were much busier than I anticipated (a six-week trip to Europe and Australia, a nine-day trip to Germany, plus three trips home to Massachusetts), so I needed some time to recuperate.

And that was a smart decision. I spent this month working hard on my fitness regime, spending time with friends, and gearing up for a busy year.

Destinations Visited

New York, NY

Highlights

Taking part in the Women’s March! Millions of people marched all over the world to stand up for the rights of women, black people, immigrants, Muslims, LGBT people, and the environment. I didn’t go to DC but I was thrilled to march with my sister and our two close friends from home in New York City.

I couldn’t get over how huge the march was. It took us an hour to even get to the point where we could march, period! Everyone was friendly and in great spirits. And most importantly, when my kids and grandkids ask me how I stood up to Trump, I’ll be able to show them photographic proof. This is only the beginning.

The NO PANTS SUBWAY RIDE! On the coldest Sunday of the year, my friend Anna from Crazy in the Rain and I joined a group of strangers, got on the subway, and took our pants off, acting nonchalant about it when asked. We lucked out and ended up with a cool group of new friends and we finished our subway ride with a dance party in Union Square!

The No Pants Subway Ride takes place in lots of cities each year, but it originated in New York. Definitely join next year! It’s so much fun, even in the cold!

Image: @roamtheamericas on Twitter

Speaking at the New York Times Travel Show. This was my second time speaking and first time speaking at Industry Day. I was on a panel called “The Future of Travel Media” and I was the modern blogger paired with three more traditional travel writers, so I was a bit of a foil to the rest of them! We had a great talk and it seems like the audience really enjoyed it.

And because the show is such a big event, lots of my blogger friends were in town. The good times most definitely rolled.

Hosting my friend Amanda for a few days. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a houseguest, so I was happy to have Amanda from A Dangerous Business come stay with me during the show! We hung out, explored the city, took tons of pictures (including Times Square at night, which I hadn’t yet done), and made a visit to the Oculus, which I recommend seeing if you’re in Lower Manhattan.

A visit from a special puppy. Christine from C’est Christine brought her pug puppy Gertie to Harlem for a visit! She is the cutest, funniest thing and her fur is SO soft. You can see more of her at cestgertie on Instagram.

Seeing Maria Abramovic speak about her work. I’ve been fascinated by her performance art — she did the project at the MoMA where people would sit across from her and receive uninterrupted eye contact — so it was interesting to see her talk about art. I was surprised at how funny she was, in spite of her often-serious work, and now I’m eager to read her new memoir.

Finally getting framed art on the walls. After living in my apartment for almost a year, I finally have stuff on the walls! Should have done that a long time ago. I used Framebridge to frame everything, they were fabulous, and they gave me a discount code to share with you: adventurouskate15.

Challenges

This new presidency. I wasn’t going to watch the inauguration, but I was at the gym and it was on all the TVs. I thought that would be my low point of the week, but no. It kept getting worse and worse.

As Dan Rather said, “For many Americans, in the two weeks since the inauguration, we have whipsawed from tragedy, to farce, to the theater of the absurd.” I’m deeply worried by what we’ve seen so far. I’m standing up for the most vulnerable, I’m preparing to lose my healthcare (because we all know there’s no Obamacare replacement waiting in the wings), and I’m looking to continue my political activism and action here in New York and beyond.

Seeing a bike messenger almost get run over by a car. Not only that, the driver got out of the car and they almost had a fistfight. So scary, especially since lots of bike messengers don’t have health insurance — or at least they didn’t in the pre-Obamacare days, and they’re about to lose it again.

Most Popular Instagram Photo

I wasn’t sure how this photo of me at the Women’s March would do on Instagram, but it turned into my most popular photo of all time!

I’m closing in on 100k followers — I’ll probably hit that milestone by the spring. For real-time updates from my travels you can follow me on Instagram and Snapchat at adventurouskate.

What I Read This Month

This month I started the Popsugar 2017 Reading Challenge! I’m enjoying sinking my teeth back into a challenge and reading some genres I wouldn’t pursue ordinarily. I’m also making an effort to read both fiction and nonfiction titles, books by authors of color, and books published in 2017 each month.

Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond — If there’s any one book I think every American should read, Evicted is at the top of my list. (I seem to say that often, don’t I? Well, forget everything I said before, because this is the real deal.) This is the most important book about poverty I’ve ever read. The book takes place in Milwaukee, one of the most racially segregated cities in America, and follows a black landlord in a black neighborhood, a white landlord at a white trailer park, and several of the tenants of both landlords. The stories that follow are rich, nuanced, and full of character — much more than I expected. It read like a novel.

I am shocked at how little I knew about how eviction affects poverty — evictions make it harder to get housing, and circumstances of poverty make it easier to get evicted, so the cycle gets worse and worse. Did you know that benefits haven’t risen, but private rents have, and so many people spend upwards of 80% of their income on rent alone? Did you know that having the police called to your house can get you evicted? So many domestic violence victims have to choose between their safety and their housing. That’s just the beginning of the horrors of housing in America. We have so much work to do. Category: A bestseller from 2016.

Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri — I’ve been meaning to read Jhumpa Lahiri’s books forever, but this is only the first. A collection of short stories that won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction, Interpreter of Maladies tells stories of Indians, Indian-Americans, their relationships, and how their two cultures spill over into each other.

I don’t read collections of short stories very often, but I should — because when they’re as good as Lahiri’s, they’ll make you ache inside. I’m still thinking about some of the characters! That’s the mark of a brilliant writer, and I look forward to delving into Lahiri’s other works. Category: A book involving travel.

American Gods by Neil Gaiman — This crazy novel was my book club’s pick this month. The premise? The ancient gods all over the world, from Norse gods to African gods to Hindu gods, have migrated to America over centuries and are now living among us. They’re gearing up for war against new gods, like media and technology, and one man finds himself caught in the middle of it.

A lot of people are crazy about American Gods, but I honestly wasn’t a fan. I appreciated the concept and Gaiman’s ambition, but this book annoyed me so much. The main character, Shadow, had no personality. The female characters were either whores, children, or unfuckable. The big climax was a buildup to nothing and reminded me of the end of the Twilight series. In my opinion, an interesting concept does not make up for a complete lack of character development. Category: A book based on mythology.

The Guest Cat by Takashi Hiraide — When I had to read “a book with a cat on the cover,” I dreaded it, thinking my only options would be schmaltzy crazy cat lady stories. Instead I found this lovely wisp of a Japanese book. A couple living in Tokyo are living an ordinary life until their neighbors get a cat — and the cat starts spending all her time at their apartment. Soon, the cat is practically theirs and they discover a new love and affection for her that brings richness to their lives.

This book reminded me of how much I love Japan. This book is simple, calm, and focuses on feelings in the moment. Not a word is wasted. It’s also a quick read if you’re looking for something easily digestible. Category: A book with a cat on the cover.

A Hope More Powerful Than the Sea by Melissa Fleming — This is the story of a Doaa al-Zamel, a Syrian refugee who survived against all odds, from war in her city to a shipwreck at sea. Everyone needs to read this book to understand the Syrian refugee crisis (then again, the people who need to the most will probably refuse to read it). Doaa fought in the resistance before her family escaped to Egypt. After life in Egypt became hellish for Syrians, she and her fiancé decided to escape via boat to Europe — and their boat wrecked in the water. It is a devastating story, made all the more horrifying that so many people are continuing to go through this.

That being said — I wish Doaa’s story had been in the hands of another author. Melissa Fleming is Chief Spokesperson for the UNHCR, and she has done excellent work — but I don’t think she should have taken this assignment on. I found her writing to be distractingly bad, redundant and full of cliches. That said, Fleming’s writing style is accessible enough for high schoolers and even mature middle schoolers to read, so if you know a smart and compassionate kid, I recommend giving them the book. I still think you should read it, though. Ignore the bad writing and concentrate on the story. Category: A book about an immigrant or refugee.

What I Listened To This Month

“Time” by The Knocks. Spotify knows what I love most — that intersection of hip-hop, R&B, dance, and ambient music, sometimes with a little jazz or disco or gospel thrown in. This song is that genre in a nutshell.

What I Cooked This Month

I cook so much, might as well share some recipes with you!

Seriously the easiest snack ever: put 1 cup dried unsweetened coconut flakes, 1.5 cups almonds, and 2 cups dates (pits removed!) in a food processor. Blend it. If it’s having trouble sticking together, add in a TINY bit of water — think a few drops.

Spread it into a pan, refrigerate at least an hour, and cut into bars. Amazing deliciousness.

Coconut-almond-date bars. Vegan, gluten-free, paleo, Whole 30-approved, and good for just about anyone…who doesn’t have a nut allergy. Just don’t go crazy on them, because while healthy, they do pack a lot of calories.

Fitness Update

Since I wrote about my new journey toward fitness, I decided to do some brief monthly updates on how I’m doing.

I’m amazed at how well I’ve been keeping up the paleo diet, even when eating out. I did have a few slip-ups, all of them when out with friends (most notably, a few bites of my friend’s chocolate cake…and the Catholic in me confessed to my trainer the moment I went in the next day…), but for the most part, no-bread-no-dairy-no-sugar has become second nature. I estimate I’m eating paleo 90% of the time.

Working out has been going well. I see my trainer twice a week and add in classes three to four more times per week. Having my own washing machine makes it so much easier because I SWEAT. A LOT.

I resolved to finally try spinning, despite being terrified of it — and I have no idea why I was afraid for so long. It’s not scary at all! Tough, and sweaty, but I’ve never felt remotely uncomfortable! I’ve even taken spin classes at three places: Equinox, Flywheel, and Harlem Cycle. That’s in addition to my Equinox classes: Zumba, True Barre, Cardio Core Ball and Powerstrike.

I also joined ClassPass, which allows you to try fitness classes all over the city. I got a five-classes-per-month pack and I’m already looking forward to underwater spinning, hip-hop candlelit yoga, and a variety of dance classes! (Interested in ClassPass? Join and we’ll both get $30 off!)

And I decided to start a “workout buddies” series with my friends — instead of going to a bar or coffeeshop, we go to a fitness class together! That pic is me with my friend Elissa after a spin class at Flywheel.

I lost about 7 pounds in January. My BMI went from “overweight” to “normal.” My jeans and bras went from too tight to just right to maybe a bit too big (damn, why do your boobs always go first?). I don’t expect to lose that much per month again, as you always lose a ton of water weight at the beginning, but now I’m losing a pound a week and hope to keep that up.

That said, even if I don’t lose 25 pounds by Memorial Day, that’s okay. This is a long-term process and it might not go as quickly as I hope. But when I get to my goal weight, I’m going to look much healthier than I did when I weighed that much in Southeast Asia because this time I’m not starving myself.

My big worry, however, is keeping up my diet and exercise when I’m on the road. I don’t care about staying on my diet — I just don’t want to make my friends uncomfortable. Would you feel comfortable if you really wanted some chocolate cheesecake but were with a friend who ate nothing but salads with chicken on them? I just want them to know that they can do whatever they want!

Image: Ed Schipul

Coming Up in February 2017

I’ve got two big trips planned and they’re not my usual fare, which is why they’re exciting!

First, in early February, I’m going to Florida with my friend Cailin! We’re starting off with four days at Universal Studios, where she has a partnership, and then we’re driving down to the Florida Keys before finishing up in Miami. Both the Keys and Miami are new to me and I’m especially eager to check out both the prettier and the grittier sides of the Keys (and the Bloodline locations).

And in late February, I’ll be going on my first cruise ever with my friend Jeremy! We’ll be on the brand new Carnival Vista for a week. The cruise leaves from Miami and stops in Grand Turk, San Juan, St. Kitts (new country for me!) and St. Maarten. I have no idea how I’ll feel about cruising but I’m eager to finally try it!

I’ll be doing more of my usual solo, independent, international travel style later in the year. For now, these are some comfort trips, and I hope you enjoy the upcoming coverage.

What are your plans for February? Share away!

via Travel Blogs http://ift.tt/2jKCj1l

#IFTTT #Travel Blogs

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teecupangel · 2 years ago

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If we're gonna keep putting Desmond in as The Isekai Protagonist then we should whole hog and add in the iconic System or Gamer System 'gift' so many other Isekai/Tensei Protags seem to get like it's the New Age Syphilis.

But with my own little twist I once proposed when I was more into KHR (Katekyo Hitman Reborn!) fandom though it never really caught on. Desmond's Gamer System functions like some other games instead of the usual adventure RPG. Maybe its one, maybe its some, maybe its all of them- either way, it's certainly not something like Pokemon or the Final Fantasy series.

Instead, it's like an idle game, a match 3, a rhythm game, or a merge game. Hell, the one time he got a bingo game; he won Mega Bingo, almost got brained by the giant chest full of gold and jewels, and then it never appeared before him again.

He did like the idle cat games though. (The cats were very cute. A bit hard to explain all the cats though.)

“New Age Syphilis” lollol. Yeah, let’s give Desmond the geek-syphilis. XD

Okay, okay, okay.

If we’re going for other genres, my first thought is the scourged of the land, the anti-christ of the modern gaming world:

Loot-boxes/Gacha-mechanics

And it’s the worst kind. The kind that does not give pity ‘roll’ or have the ‘if you roll 300 times, you can pick one of these choices because goddamn your rng sucks wtf???’.

And that’s not even the genre, no, no, no.

That’s the “REWARD”.

Even if Desmond clears something via idle game, match 3, etc, he still has to do a gacha roll to get his reward.

And, to make it more annoying for him, the world he is in right now, everything has different game mechanics and it’s a whiplash at times. Sometimes, it feels more like minigames which is fine. The idle cat game is really just Desmond relaxing for the day and playing with cats.

But then, there are instances where Desmond gets a headache because…

Car chase? Boom! Racing game controls and gameplay!

About to assassinate someone? QTEs! QTEs everywhere!

Desmond gets his own land? He suddenly has game notifications and tutorials for town-building mechanics.

There’s supposed to be some kind of monster infestations? Welp. Desmond, your town-building mechanics just got pushed for tower-defense mechanics. Oh, and the shit you can build? You guessed it! GACHA ROLLS!

Want to fuck with Desmond even more?

The tutorials are just pages and pages of what he can do like someone from Koei-Tecmo made the damn thing.

You know what would be funny?

If Desmond realizes that some of the rewards he gets from the gacha rolls are his ancestors, they’re the highest USSR/6Stars reward with a probability of 3%. Goodbye slacker life, it’s time for Desmond to grind for those Isu shards just to get some sweet, sweet rolls.

(Nobody tell him that there are also Holiday alts that have a possibility of 1%)

……………………

It would be funny (in the worst possible way) if Desmond gets a final notification just when he has a very cozy life in this world and it’s:

“Thank you for playing [REDACTED]. Due to lack of interest, [REDACTED] will be ending its live-services at exactly 180 days. All data will be deleted and there are no plans to create backups. Thank you for understanding.”

And now the final arc of Desmond’s story in this world begins:

Desmond needs to find a way to create a private server from inside the game. XD

#today we bully desmond (affectionately)#was this created because of my bad experience with gacha mechanics?#maaayybbeee #one year gacha sober baabbeeeehhh #seriously if a game has gacha mechanics #be wary #desmond is the ultimate isekai protagonist #but in a world with different game mechanics #and the dreaded gacha rolls #i read khr and my brain just reminded me #that future!hibari is soooo altaïr #and i cannot deny that at all #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #ask and answer

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teecupangel · 9 months ago

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From @crispybureau

#UR SO RIGHT ABOUT EZIO I WAS A FOOL #and!! and!! kadar n malik being yuki n yue!! so smart!!! #in love with jacob and evie as ruby moon and spinol oh god that's so good #yeah wasnt sure who to put for toya tbh but did like the idea of Ratonhnhaké:ton/Kadar #oh yeah this ask was sent in by me btw but completely forgot until i was halfway through reading and was like #wait #clay would also be a good toya actually but him as kero is GENIUS #i did completely forget sakura and tomoyo were second(?) cousins even though i just rewatched seasons 1 and 2

Hahahaha, I’m glad you liked my additions and suggestions XD

Oh man, just imagine the chaotic mess that would be the Jacob → Ratonhnhaké:ton ← Kadar love triangle.

Altaïr sees it once, turns to Desmond and goes “Your brother’s love life is a mess.”

Ezio (and Clay) is behind Desmond giving him judging eyes that says ‘You can’t talk about other people’s love life, you can’t even admit you’re in love with my best friend/cousin.”

Evie is just so done with everything. Jacob keeps telling her that he’s flirting with Ratonhnhaké:ton to get close to the successor of the Cards and to get under Malik’s skin but she knows that’s bullshit. Kadar knows Jacob is flirting with Ratonhnhaké:ton but it’s definitely hitting his self-esteem as he can see that the two of them look good together. Malik is just getting annoyed more and more because, as much as he likes Ratonhnhaké:ton, he is more in a supporter role in this one and, really, someone needs to give Jacob a lesson.

Desmond sees his brother’s messy love life and goes “Wow, I’m so glad I don’t have a love life.” and Ezio (and Clay) just slowly turn to stare at Altaïr who ignores him.

I felt bad not including Arno in the ask before so we’re gonna give him another ‘forbidden relationship’ in this one. Instead of falling in love with his foster sister, he’s fallen in love with their homeroom teacher XD (whether that’s still Élise or someone else is up to you)

From @blue-cat-ter-flies-blog

Ezio's design choices give no shits for your hetero-normative fashion beliefs and thus the first time Altair sees Desmond in something outright feminine, he walked into a wall. (Desmond made it look good and it made his assets looks great!)

Ezio has the passion and imagination. Leonardo is the one who sees his sketches and make it into something actually feasible. He’s the true MVP of the Auditore household (who all adore Desmond like family and Ezio’s parents have a cold relationship with Haytham, especially Giovanni who was Desmond’s mother’s cousin and best friend)

(Oh, maybe we can make Ratonhnhaké:ton and Desmond half-brothers in this one?)

Desmond just wears all of them because he can’t say no to Ezio.

One of the main reasons why he catches more cards than Altaïr is because Altaïr is distracted by his clothes. XD

cardcaptor sakura au with Desmond as Sakura, Altaïr as Syaoran, Ezio as Kero, Rebecca or Clay as Tomoyo maybe, maybe Ratonhnhaké:ton as Yuki and Shay as Toya?? that'd be interesting! Leonardo would make a great Tomoyo too. oh oh, maybe Kadar as Yuki?? that'd make sense with Altaïr as Syaoran

can't remember if you’ve done something for this idea before!

(I've not done something like this before and we’re going to focus on the first season on this one so no Eriol and his cohorts)

Okay, that’s such a fun cast but hear me out:

Instead of Kero, Ezio should be Desmond’s Tomoyo. He’s rich af and would definitely shower his best friend/second cousin with cute clothes to go along with his miserable life as a sorta magical girl and videotape it. He’d also be shameless in calling how cute and adorable Desmond is. Leonardo can be the older man who makes Ezio’s vague outfit ideas into reality.

Altaïr as Syaoran is so spot on. A total badass with a character development of adorkable.

Kadar being Desmond and Altaïr’s Yuki would be so funny because, this time around, it would be Altaïr having a crush on Kadar. XD

You know what would be fun? If Kadar and Malik are the same ‘person’. Kadar is the Yuki persona while Malik is the Yue persona. And the twist is Altaïr has a crush on Kadar but absolutely thinks Malik is annoying af (although, to be fair, Malik would start to show up during the time that Altaïr’s feelings for Desmond would be developing and Malik is a bit of a dick to Desmond due to him being loyal to the person who created the cards)

Speaking of which… how about Clow Reed is someone like Bayek? Or maybe Basim if you want to go for the ‘is he good? Is he not?’ kind of vibe.

The annoying older brother who cares dynamic between the Kinomoto siblings would be a bit hard to do with Ratonhnhaké:ton and Desmond, unless you want to change it up to cool older brother who shows he cares for his younger brother quietly. Plus, the idea of Kadar and Ratonhnhaké:ton together sounds like a fun pairing.

Haytham can be their father, I guess. He’d be more interesting to add than Bill anyway.

Clay needs to be Kero. Just imagine his snarkiness in all that cute mascot glory XD

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