#to look perfect and porno-ready at all times revs itself up.

[featherymainffins]

It's also a problem that's deeply embarrassing for me because I feel like it puts a lot of pressure on other people because the only methods I've found to somewhat work were basically just asking someone if I was allowed to eat or repeatedly asking if they found me disgusting.

And that's like fucked up to need from someone. It was tolerated by my family presumably because I am their child and for some reason they didn't find any part of that weird or concerning. But it's not something other people would be willing to do for me I'm pretty sure.

*Trigger warning for eating disorder talk*

I hate how whenever I eat anything my brain is like "You should kill yourself. Now." Like what's your fucking problem

[moondancewrites]

S.O.S. (State of Sunshine) - Chapter 2

Chapter Two

“Gymnastics?  Is that really something she should be focusing on right now?  School starts in a few weeks, Evelyn.  I think the focus should be getting her ready for that.  The gymnastics can wait.”

“Can we talk about this later?” Evelyn said in a loud whisper before taking sip of her water.

“Fine.  But it is something that we need to discuss.”  Evelyn nodded.  “In depth.”  

Hannah ran up to Evelyn as soon as she turned the corner into the living room.  “Miss Natalia knows someone who can coach me!  His name is Lance Tucker!”  What the hell kind of a name was Lance Tucker?  It sounded like a porno name or some ridiculous model.  Evelyn bit her lip to keep from laughing at it.

“Oh?”

“Yeah!  He was her old student and he’s living in Florida now.  His gym is … where is it, Miss Natalia?”

“Treasure Island,” the Russian replied.  Lance Tucker from Treasure Island?  The porno wrote itself!  This time, Evelyn let a giggle slip.  She was suddenly grateful to this Lance whom she’d never met - he gave her her first laugh in a long time.  Miss Natalia’s eyebrow rose in consternation.  Evelyn cleared her throat and smiled sheepishly at her.  “This is close to you, no?”

“About a half hour.  I … I didn’t know Treasure Island had a gym.”

“It is just a few years old.  Lance owns it.  He was my best student.  And I’ve already sent him an email about Hannah.”  Well, that was presumptuous.  What if Evelyn had said no?  Well, now it looked like she couldn’t.  “He said he would meet her.  Is Tuesday good for you?”  This was happening way too fast.

“I have meetings all day,” Evelyn replied.

“I will email him.  He will stay late.  Meet you after your meetings.  Is this good?”

“Please, Auntie Evelyn?”  That was the first time Hannah had called her that since she was 5.  That, accompanied with the little pout she was throwing her, made Evelyn’s self-described small, shriveled heart swell in her chest.  “Can we meet him?  Please?”

“I’ll be able to get there by 7, if he can stay that long.”

“He will do this.  For me, and for Hannah.  Once he sees what she can do, I’m sure he’ll agree to coach her.”

“Wonderful.”

It took some coaxing, but eventually Ben agreed that having something familiar to Hannah in a new and scary place was a good idea.  He wasn’t keen on gymnastics either, especially because Evelyn made no qualms to him about how much she disliked it.  But they were doing this for Hannah.  

Tuesday 7:20 pm

“Is that him?” Hannah asked from the back seat of Evelyn’s Audi as they pull into the parking lot of the gym.  A tall man with perfectly gelled hair, black shades and a cocky strut walked towards a red convertible right in front of the gym entrance.  He was wearing black track pants and a fitted white t-shirt that showed off his gymnast frame.  He sure looked like a Lance Tucker. “He’s leaving!”

“Hold on.”  Evelyn stumbled out of her car, gathering herself and smoothing down her pencil skirt before approaching the man who had just turned on his engine.  The stereo was blaring old school hip-hop so loudly that Lance didn’t hear Evelyn approach, nor did he hear her exclaim, “Excuse me.  EXCUSE ME!”   His head snapped towards her and his eyes moved from her pencil skirt slowly … too slowly … up to her face.  “Can you turn the music down?”

“Huh?” he asked, dipping his shades.  His eyes were ridiculously blue, a fact that Evelyn was oblivious to at the moment because the music was so loud that she could barely think.  

“Music!” she shouted, motioning down.  She could have sworn she saw him role his eyes.  She gritted her teeth as he obliged her.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

“You’re Lance, right?”

“The one and only,” he said with a megawatt smile.  The man looked like he could be in an ad for whitening toothpaste.  Lance Tucker, the toothpaste model.  It sounded right.

“I’m Evelyn Burns.  I think Natalia Taylor emailed you about my niece …”  Lance stared at her.  “Hannah?”

“Oh.  Yeah.  You’re late.”

“Yes, I know.  I had a meeting in St. Pete and it ran long.  I got here as fast as I could.”

“Yeah,” Lance clicked his teeth.  “But I’m kind of big on punctuality.  I waited 20 minutes and no Hannah so …”  He revved his engine.  Really?  What an asshole.  

“Look,” Evelyn took a deep breath.  “I know I’m late, but it’s not Hannah’s fault.  It’s my fault.  And she’s really excited to meet you.  Miss Natalia told her you’re the best.”

“She’s not wrong.”

“So … can we go inside and she can show you?  She’s been practicing all day.”  Evelyn didn’t want to beg - especially to a man like Lance - but she would if it meant she got to see Hannah’s smile a little longer.  Lance looked her up and down again.  She had half a mind to bite his head off for leering, but she held her tongue.

“Fine.  But I have a date at 8, so let’s make this quick.”

“Great.  Thank you so much.”  

Evelyn ran through the rough gravel in her stilettos, nearly face-planting not once but twice on her way back to the car.  She was sure Lance saw - she could feel his eyes burning into her back.  Sure enough, when she turned around he was leaning against his car, arms crossed over his chest with a sly smile playing on his lips.  Evelyn wasn’t so sure about this guy.

“Mr. Tucker, this is my niece, Hannah.”  

Lance’s demeanor completely changed once Hannah was between them.  He smiled widely at her, leaning over and putting his hands on his knees.  “Hiya, Hannah.  I’m Coach Tucker,” he said, emphasizing the word coach and looking up at Evelyn when he said it.

“Hi,” she said shyly with a little wave.

“I hear you’re one heck of a gymnast.  Want to show me what you can do?”  Hannah nodded.  “Wonderful.  Let’s go inside.”

“I usually don’t take on new clients this late in the year,” Lance told Evelyn from the chair behind his desk.  His office looked out onto the big open gym area where Hannah was tumbling around while they spoke about her future there.  

“But-” Evelyn scooted forward in her chair opposite him.

“Not finished,” he said, holding up a long, slender finger.  Evelyn bit her lip in frustration.  “I said, I usually don’t … but Hannah has got something.”  Evelyn heaved a sigh of relief.  “I think with my help, that little girl could be a champion.”

“So, you’ll coach her?”

“It’s not going to be cheap,” he said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms behind his head.  

“Money’s not an issue,” Evelyn said plainly.  Lance’s smile widened.  “I just really want Hannah to have something that makes her happy.  She’s new here and … I’m sure Natalia told you …”

“Her parents? Yeah.  Bummer.”  What a sweet sentiment, Evelyn thought.  She strained to keep her eyes from rolling.  “You know, tragedy can make a great athlete into a champion.”  Evelyn cocked her head to the side.  “She could be America’s sweetheart, with a story like this.”

Evelyn rose in her chair.  “I think we’ll be taking our business somewhere else.  Thank you for your time, Coach Tucker.”  She turned and walked towards the door, but Lance jumped over his desk and grabbed her arm.  She spun around, eyes wide.  She pulled her hand from his grip. “I will not let you use Hannah’s tragedy as a sob story to help further your career … if you can call it that.”

“Look.”  Lance scratched his chin.  “I’m sorry.  I …” The man looked like he’d never apologized in his life.  “Hannah has raw talent.  Enough talent to become America’s sweetheart without a sob story.”

“I know.  A fact that I’m sure other coaches in the area will fully comprehend.”  

“There’s only one other coach in the area and she’s shit.”  Lance stepped closer and Evelyn stepped back, her back coming in contact with the door.  “Hannah needs me.”

“And it sounds like you need her, too.”

“Every great coach needs a star.  I’ve got some great kids here, but none that can do what she just showed me.”  He pointed to his chest.  “I’m the best chance she has.  Natalia knows it.  And I think Hannah does, too.”

“I’m not going to have Hannah’s life turned into a circus.”

“It won’t be.”  Lance stepped closer; close enough to smell his cologne.  Evelyn hated to admit that he smelled amazing.  “She’s good.  I can make her great.  I promise you.”

“Okay,” Evelyn sighed.  There was that smile again - big and cocky and luminous.  “But you have to promise me that you will never talk about her personal life to the press.  The focus is on Hannah and the sport and nothing else.  Understood?”

“Wow,” Lance said with a little chuckle.  “You’re almost intimidating.”  He hadn’t seen the worst of her and something inside Evelyn told her that he definitely would.

“I’m good at getting what I want,” she said, tucking a loose strand of her otherwise perfect bobbed haircut behind her ear.

“That makes two of us,” he said with a wink.  If Evelyn were attracted to pretty boys like  him, that would have almost worked.  When he saw that it had no effect, his smile shrunk.  He turned, walking over to his desk and snatching a card from a holder.  “Email me and we’ll work out a schedule for her.  It’ll be rigorous, but from what I remember from learning from Miss Natalia, I’m sure Hannah’s ready for it.”

“Thank you.  I’ll be in touch.”

“Great.”  Lance looked down at his watch.  “Fuck.  It’s nearly 8.”

“We’ll see ourselves out.”

“Good.  Okay.”  Lance grabbed his sunglasses, hooking them in the V of his shirt.  The sun was down, what would he need those for?

“I hope you don’t swear like that around your students,” Evelyn said from the doorway.

“What?”  Lance walked behind her.

“You just said … “ Evelyn looked around to see if Hannah was near, “fuck.”

“Did I?”  Lance smiled.  That didn’t bode well.  “No, Miss Burns …” Lance’s eyes clocked her engagement ring, “Or is it Mrs?”

“It will be Mrs. Stevens in a few months.”

“Okay then.  Miss Burnes,” he said, popping a piece of gum in his mouth.  “No, I don’t swear in front of my students.”

“See that it stays that way.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Lance mocked, standing at attention and saluting her.  When she rolled her eyes at him, he threw his head back and laughed.  “I’ll talk to you soon.  Bye, Hannah!”  He waved goofily at her.  

“Bye, Coach Tucker!”

This was going to be fun.