#to log on and look for hate tweets where the person is talking shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

barbasbodaciousbeard · 4 years ago

Text

The Iowa Caucus Happened

A job offer slides into Rafael’s DMs as he waits to find out if it’ll be a new start or prison on February 8.

Accidental Feminist Icon

Delete the Twitter app, Mr. Barba

“Mister Barba?”

Rafael didn’t like hearing his name from the young woman behind him, especially not given what he’d done. He’d texted Carmen on the first day of the trial, and she’d agreed to look into the offers from attorneys he knew, and some he didn’t, while he sat beside Dworkin and emotionally prepared himself to testify. The ones he’d looked at the night before came from people he didn’t like or were last resorts. He’d moved from his visceral response to finding law to back his actions. Applying logic could let him detangle himself from his conflicted emotions. Catholic guilt wrestled his humanity. That said, he also found himself desperate to introduce Ollie to music as Carmen worked from his apartment that first afternoon, not caring for once as the toddler drooled or sneezed or spilled all over him.

“Yes?” he asked, taking his coffee from the cart. “I’m sorry, have we met?”

“We haven’t. I follow you on Twitter.”

“Ah,” he said, shifting awkwardly. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss-”

“Rachel Sullivan. I have, like, a reading Twitter.”

“I’ve seen that! Read with Rachel? Your icon is a copy of Howl?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, chuckling. “I just- listen, I know it’s bad what’s going on and a lot of people are really hurt and going after you. Do I get it? No. But, I think you didn’t get a good choice, and you did what’s right for you. When it seems impossible, it’s not my place to judge something I can’t fathom. And a lot of people feel the same. A bunch of us have a group chat and we hope everything goes well and you get to start again.”

It was a stark contrast to his interaction with mami or emails from church ladies. There was an acknowledgement of disagreement, but he needed more people to respect that they weren’t there like she did. He also remembered watching his father die, and while he didn’t like the man, he regretted not ending that pain. It only drew out hurt for everyone.

“Thank you, Rachel. That really means the world to me.”

“Good luck today,” she said, giving him a wave when she took her coffee and left. By the end of the day, Rafael hated Peter Stone for being a damn good prosecutor, and he wondered if there were any cases he’d tried, especially the ones before SVU that he was wrong on. He made his way into a new bar, definitely not his usual during all of this, and he sat and drafted his resignation. It took longer than he cared to admit, and he restarted and reread it time and time again. By the time he was drunk, he’d written something he could proofread the next morning and ignored calls from Olivia, Carmen, and mami.

He decided it was time to do what he had been dreading, logging into Twitter. Since Carmen had cleaned it up, more people had found him, and he was able to easily ignore anything hateful by skimming for murder or murderer in the body of the tweet. He skipped those, and Rafael was surprised to see some apathy, sympathy, or respect for his reasoning. Lazily, he scrolled his direct messages. A select few of the people who knew him contacted him with revulsion, but his filtered messages were filled with vitriol. He found Rachel’s account again, following her back and deciding he could break his unspoken rule of only following people he knew or the occasional blog/podcast/museum/celebrity. If anyone contacted him with kindness, he was now more open to the reciprocity of Twitter; no one would be asking him to prosecute their case soon.

He saw a message from Tripp Greene. In Harvard, they’d had an unspoken alliance as the two scholarship kids in their cohort, a silent allegiance that continued into law school. There were very few people Rafael respected personally from Harvard, but Tripp had remained kind, even if he worked in something as ruthless as politics. They’d been reunited by Rafael’s uptick in Twitter popularity. He was more proud than he should be by the potential presidential candidates that had followed him. Rafael should have known Tripp would reach out; he was ever the silent cheerleader and had watched a sibling die on life support when he was at Harvard. They’d discussed the morality of pulling plugs and the selfish desire to keep people alive, though most of it had been Tripp talking and Rafael listening.

While moving to Iowa seemed extreme, he was acutely aware that he would end up haunting the DA’s office and Manhattan SVU like some ghost of ADAs past instead of moving forward. His mother had a boyfriend and looming retirement that seemed likely to take the pair to Miami, where she could play grandma to his grandchildren. There was nothing left for him here but Carmen, and while a great friend, she was not enough to erase the last twenty-one years of his life. When Carmen called for the fifth time that night, he ignored it, but it was quickly followed by Answer the phone or I tell Olivia I haven’t heard from you. With a groan, he answered when Carmen called again sixty seconds later.

“I’m fine. I don’t want to delve back into a play by play of my day.”

“That’s why you’re drunk at seven o’clock,” she said, her tone thick with sarcasm as she pretended that solved everything.

“It’s only been two hours?”

“You’re not at Forlini’s.”

“I’m not hanging out with Stone.”

“Send me your location. I just picked Ollie up from mom’s.”

“Take your son home, Carmen. I’ll be fine.”

“But we could talk about how much I also hate Stone. I’ll even stop and let you grab take out from that Cuban place you like.”

“Deal,” he acquiesced, motioning he wanted to close his tab. “Call me when you’re close.”

“Deal. ETA is about fifteen minutes.”

He polished off his scotch, signing the check and tipping well before taking his briefcase and leaning against the wall as he waited for Carmen’s SUV. She waved at him out the window, and he hurried into her passenger seat. Though he always knew that she was a great secretary and assistant, Carmen was proving to be the friend he needed right now. Olivia, in the few phone calls they had, was unwilling to discuss anything but the case. She was in cop mode, and she talked to him like she could swoop in and fix what he had done. While she thought he didn’t know, she’d talked to McCoy, talked to Stone, talked to anyone who would listen. But what she didn’t understand is that he’d accepted going to prison was a possibility, but it was one he felt was worth it.

“Barba!” he heard from the backseat, smiling softly to see Ollie more awake than he’d expected. He’d seen the boy periodically, mostly during evening handoffs when Carmen’s mother would drop him off so Carmen could take him home. There were a lot of single mothers in his life, and all were exceptional. The last few days, Carmen and Ollie both had spent a lot of time with him. He kept introducing Ollie to music and movies and foods like he could make up for everything Drew wouldn’t experience by making sure Ollie did.

“Oliver!” he smiled, twisting around to smile at him. The boy kicked his leg, and the blue stripe on the rubber of his sneakers lit up. “I like your shoes.”’

“Thanks,” he giggled, kicking again.

“You’re good with him,” Carmen smiled, the navigation now leading her to get his take out.

“He’s a good kid. Noah made me better with kids. Liv said I held him like a sack of flour at first.”

“You’ll be ready by the time you have your own.”

“I work too much.”

“That can change.”

“I don’t deserve to have a child,” he shrugged, and he could see Carmen purse her lips. “I don’t. I wouldn’t be good at it anyway. Wouldn’t be fair. Besides, I might end up like dad. No kid deserves that shit.”

“Bad word!” Ollie scolded, tablet in hand as he watched a movie.

“Sorry, Ollie. Stuff.”

“You’ve never told me what he did.”

“He wanted heterosexual, toxic machismo and got a swarmy, emotional bisexual.”

“You’re not that emotional.”

“He took care of that,” he said darkly. “I used to cry when he went after mami. That turned his attention to me.”

Carmen knew there was nothing she could say, so instead she silently took his hand, squeezing softly. He was taken aback at first, but he kept her hand loosely in his as his head lulled against the headrest. It was strangely grounding, the physical affection. He’d felt like he was swimming the last few days as memories of his father, his father’s death, his childhood, and each case he tried bubbled up. That wasn’t including the vision of baby drew and Maggie in the hospital room that lingered everywhere.

The conflicting guilt and conviction he’d done the right thing also broke a damn and the feelings he’d suppressed- loneliness, guilt, abandonment, distrust- were all bubbling to the surface. He’d spent so much of his life trying not to process them so he could focus on a conviction rate and moving forward that he didn’t have the tools everyone else did sometimes. Right now, Carmen felt like an anchor, and he was grateful for her.

He got out of the car when Carmen parked, ordering enough food for three adults, one take out container containing whatever he thought a toddler could handle. Soon enough, they were settled in his living room and eating, though Ollie had minimal interest in the pork, beans, and rice in front of him. The thought crossed his mind that when he took one of the out of state jobs, he wouldn’t have Carmen there like this. He was sure this friendship would be short lived; when he didn’t need her anymore, she’d leave him. That’s what usually happened, wasn’t it? She just felt bad for him.

“I’m moving to Iowa,” he blurted out before he was able to spiral into the self loathing he’d recently discovered.

“That’s far,” she said, and he thought he could detect sadness in her voice.

“There’s FaceTime.”

“Not quite the same, but I’ll take it.”

“Tripp understands,” he said, sobering up as the food hit his stomach. “He lost a sister. Watched someone dying like with my dad except she’d been born that way. It was years, Carmen.”

“That’s a lot. I’m going to miss you, Rafael. Ollie will too.”

“Come visit. If the tickets are bad, I’ll pay. Or cover renting a car.”

“You’re drunk,” she chuckled.

“Sorry. Best friend. It’s the rules.”

“We’ll come. But I can afford tickets.”

“Promise if it’ll make things tight, you’ll let me. You’re raising a kid. No kids means I can afford to get my friend the occasional plane ticket.”

“Deal.”

“Next week, will it be Des Moines or prison? Who knows! I’ll probably grow a beard either way. Think they’d recognize me in prison if I grow a beard?”

“I’ve never seen you with a beard. Stop shaving and we’ll find out.”

She could see Rafael getting tired, head leaning back against the couch and closing his eyes. She preferred when he joked about all of this. They were stuck waiting, and this time the next night they’d probably know. Ollie climbed between them on the couch, and she realized her boss wasn’t the only one almost asleep.

“You two can stay,” Rafael yawned, hand smoothing Ollie’s curls back.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. It’ll be nice not being alone in the morning. And you can stay here to work. We didn’t talk about it, but I know you hate Stone. He’s a good attorney. Doing his job.”

“His job is wrong.”

“That isn’t his fault. If another ADA had done what I did? I’d be prosecuting them.”

“Go get ready for bed,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes. As she scooped Ollie up, she kissed the top of Rafael’s head. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Carmen?” She turned in the doorframe. “Thank you. For all of this.”

“I’m glad to, Raf. Promise you’ll actually sleep.”

“I promise.”

“Night, Barba,” Ollie yawned, waving over his mom’s shoulder as they entered his guest room. Maybe Iowa was going to be too far if he didn’t go to prison. He was getting quite fond of having Carmen around quite quickly. He wasn’t going to be her superior anymore, so this friendship could be something he maintained.

Olivia would be a given; even if they were primarily united around work, she was also one of his closest friends and maybe not working together would make him relax. Hell, maybe the end of his life in the city would do it. Rafael couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t felt he was chasing an upward trajectory in New York City. Even at Harvard, the plan had been to return. Maybe coming into Des Moines established would let him feel comfortable just existing.

He liked cooking and reading in the park and going out dancing on occasion. He rarely had time for two options, and the latter made his cheeks red with embarrassment at the prospect of a colleague seeing him during the outing. In Iowa, maybe he could go dancing and take up a new hobby and wear jeans without feeling like something was out of his control.

He woke up before Carmen, excited to be able to cook for her. He appreciated the fact she was happy to help him, but she had paused her own life for the last few days. Their friendship was relegated to offices and dinners by the office. He’d come to her baby shower and birthday parties and even a holiday party, but that was it and that had other colleagues present. Except maybe the baby shower, but he was determined to buy up whatever was left on her registry when the day came, using mami, abuelita, and the older women at church as pseudonyms to pretend he’d just let family know.

“You can cook?”

“I just never had time,” he shrugged, tray coming out of the oven.

“You made pastries?”

“Pastelitos de guayaba.” Carmen didn’t miss how proud he looked as he admired them. They were something he’d always made with family. “They aren’t hard, but abuelita used to make them for me all the time. Puff pastry, sweetened cream cheese and guava paste. Cafe con leche on the way.”

“You couldn’t sleep?” He shook his head, pouring the espresso and adding the milk before placing mugs at the breakfast counter. His mouth was set in a line now, the corners sucked in as he focused on the countertop. Her hand rested on his, giving a squeeze and he rewarded her with a soft smile. “We’ll be helping you pack for Iowa in no time.”

“I hope,” he nodded, biting into a pastry. Ollie came out, eyeing the countertop. “Want one, Oliver?”

“What are they?”

“Delicious,” Carmen groaned, having torn into her own. That was enough for Ollie, who accepted a pastry from Rafael with a soft Thank you before biting into it carefully.

“Wow! It is good!”

“I’m glad you like it.”

It felt a somber affair, despite the pastries, when Carmen saw him off to court. She chose to wait in his apartment, ringer on high and news coverage on. Ollie was easily entertained by the toys she had in the car, and the phones were forwarded to be answerable on her cell phone. By the end of the day, she’d put dinner in his slow cooker and cleaned most everything at least once. And then her phone rang with his ringer. She’d picked one of the other presets for him long ago, and she watched Ollie with his blocks as she answered.

“Rafael?”

“Not guilty,” he exhaled, still unable to believe it as he surveyed his office to begin packing. Her desk was empty, and he didn’t mind today because if she had been here, McCoy would’ve had her helping Stone. Carmen was his assistant, his friend, and it was bad enough to know Stone would probably take his place at work.

“Thank God,” she whispered. “Did you turn the letter in?”

“I put it on Jack’s desk. I’m hoping to be gone buy his return. I think three heavy boxes will cover it. Plus anything I hung, but other than diplomas most of it came with the place.”

“I put dinner on. Ollie and I ran to the store and picked up short ribs and potatoes and carrots. I needed something to do.”

“Nervous you’d be visiting me in prison?”

“You know damn well juries can be swayed. You’ve done it.”

“And I’m safe. I’ll be there in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly. “I’m really glad you get to go to Iowa.”

#Rafael Barba x Carmen #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #svu

21 notes · View notes

xoxo-ren-xoxo · 5 years ago

Text

smptwt as of 04/07/2020

Right. You asked for it, so you shall recieve. Below the cut is probably one of the most thought-out, in-depth, hopefully unbiased (but probably not) and above all helpful accounts of what the fuck is happening in the smplive and lunch club fandoms right now. I will be covering everything I can- but in the case that I’ve forgotten something, please let me know so I can have a crack at making an update.

Before the cut, I’d just like to link my first three posts about this same topic, covering my thoughts and the events of the last couple of months of drama. It feels so strange that I’ve made so many of these, but as long as they help people, I’ll keep making them.

Part 1: https://crunchy-corvid.tumblr.com/post/619547090403622912/the-cscoopsmptwt-drama

Part 2: https://crunchy-corvid.tumblr.com/post/619746266158661633/more-on-smptwt-long-post

Part 3: https://crunchy-corvid.tumblr.com/post/619886809143476225/smptwt-part-3-030620

I’d like to preface this with a huge thank you to everyone who helped me collect and compile information for this post- and those who helped censor twitter handles and edit screenshots. Without you, this post would have never been made.

Thank you to everyone on the Cancelled Heaven discord server: https://discord.gg/emrh2u

Now, onto the thing.

So we’ll start at the beginning with the easiest ‘drama’ (I hate calling it that) to cover. Charlie (slimecicle) tweeted on his second account and it caused a little upset. It’s not much but it feeds into a greater conversation that I think is relevant here:

We’ll start with Charlie’s original point, then move on to the reply. Obviously, this post was poorly timed, because everyone thought it was about the Cooper (cscoop) drama, when in reality it was just a general comment. I saw a lot of replies along the lines of ‘it’s okay you can @ cscoop’ and similar things. If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know how I feel about the Cooper situation, but regardless, there are a few reasons why this is a Bad Take/poor interpretation of what Charlie said.

Charlie and Cooper are friends. They haven’t fallen out as far as we know. Charlie is left-wing, and definately doesn’t seem like the kind of person to be friends with someone who is racist/transphobic/sexist etc. So why would he be talking about Cooper in this post?

Also, Charlie is clearly talking about people who still say slurs, not people who have said slurs in the past. This is how I read it, a jab at streamers and gamers who use ‘dark humour’ to justifty their actions. A lot of people seemed to relate this to Cooper, despite him never trying to justify his use of slurs. The people who did try to justify his actions this way were fans, not the man himself. So again, this post doesn’t relate to Cooper.

On to the reply, which sparks a different conversation all together. While I see where the commenter is coming from, and agree with them to an extent, Charlie is allowed to have his own opinion on the matter. And he is right. Using insulting language against heterosexual people does create a larger divide and doesn’t get anyone on our ‘side’. It just makes us look immature and causes a lot of straight cis people to assume that we hate them.

On the other hand, I do think that saying things like ‘disgusting hets’ can be a funny joke if you are saying it to your friends who don’t have any issue with it. You probably shouldn’t get into the habit of saying things like that though, just in case you actually hurt someone with your words. Both sides of the argument have pros and cons, so anyone angry at Charlie for his opinion really have no reason to be.

Charlie’s reponse to this comment was reasonable, responsible, and mature, and he is clearly showing that he understands the concerns of his audience. This is all I’ll say about Charlie in this post. Honestly, he’s generally unproblematic and ‘safe’ to keep watching, if you enjoy a very drama-free environment. Have fun!

Now I’ll move on to Ted. He’s made some great points recently about cancel culture which I strongly agree with. Here’s his first tweets:

I don’t have much to add here, this is perfectly valid in my opinion- though I feel like sometimes you can tell a lot about a person by the people they follow. For example, if someone follows Trump, Ben Shapiro, and a bunch of right-wing youtubers, they probably agree with a lot of the things they say. But I think the point Ted is trying to make is that he shouldn’t be harassed about drama his friends fall into. If he isn’t involved, leave him out of it.

Next we’ll take a look at his tweets on stans, probably sparked by the drama with Carson, which I will be talking about later.

Again, I have no issue with what Ted is saying here. His idea is a good one, and a fun way to distinguish casual fans from people who create art, content, and (appropriate) fanfiction for the ‘flandom’!

Basically, how I see it, is that a ‘fan’ is a casual viewer who doesn’t really get involved in the flandom, maybe posting about smplive and/or lunch club occasionally, but not being too involved. A ‘flan’ is someone who interracts a lot, creates art and fiction that respects boundaries, and posts more about the boys than a casual fan does. A ‘stan’ is a stalker-fan, creepy and obsessive, too invested, maybe creates art and fiction that crosses boundaries, and obsessively posts about the boys.

I think this new terminology is really cool and Ted is smart for coming up with it (also, probably hungry when coming up with it too). I think that the term ‘stan’ should be thrown out and used to describe the ‘bad’ side of fandoms. There is a risk that people will hide behind the term ‘flan’ to disguise the fact that they are a stan, but this is still a good step foward.

But you’re not here to listen to me ramble about Ted or Charlie. You’re here for Carson. So let’s get on with it.

Carson made a series of tweets talking about stans, much like Ted did later. He seemed tired of stans harassing him about his friends, a sentiment shared by Ted (who faced very minimal backlash over his tweets). Here’s what he said:

Which is something I fully agree with. For big content creators like Carson and his friends, stan culture is absolutely insane. Recently they’ve been trying to ‘catch out’ many people who are part of smplive and/or lunch club, most obviously with Cooper and Schlatt but I’ve seen the others getting ‘called out’ too. Carson’s anti-stan stance is well-known in the flandom (yes I am using that word get used to it) so these tweets didn’t surprise me.

For some reason stans seem to think that if one creator is okay with their behaviour, every other creator is too. This is not the case. Carson was within his full right to say these things about stans.

Obviously the replies got out of hand. People became horribly angry very quickly, and clearly Carson had already had enough because pretty soon he started blocking stan accounts- which only made them more mad.

Of course, there were supporters and anti-stan comments out there too, such as this fun exchange:

But a whole lot of people got angry. Carson was trending for a while, too, after he started blocking stans. Unfortunately some people did get wrongfully blocked, which sucks, sure, but use of an alt account or logging off of twitter can solve that problem (this can also be said for stan accounts. Carson didn’t stop any of them from viewing his content, just blocked them so that he didn’t have to see their tweets).

Carson did this for his own mental health. After a long conversation with older people who have been in fandoms for decades, I can tell you that being at the top is always hell. New threads created about you every day, friends you can’t trust, and people giving you shit for things other people said. I can’t imagine how someone as popular as Carson has dealt with this for so long.

People who were blocked started to claim that they were having panic attacks, that they hyperfixate so they can’t help being obsessive, and that Carson doesn’t care about mental health for these reasons. They said some pretty toxic and manipulative things and a lot of people clearly didn’t know what they were talking about:

First of all, these comments on the Katerino and Fitz situation are honestly disgusting. These people are only proving Carson’s point that stans will be super supportive one second and turn around to hate you the next. To bring up something like this, something completely unrelated and highly personal- knowing Carson will see- is disgraceful. To speculate about a relationship that Carson has explicitly stated he doesn’t want people to speculate about just to try and make a point? Horrible.

A lot of stans seem to have this ‘we made you famous so we dictate how you feel’ mentality, which I hate. Exactly as the reply says, they sound like toxic parents with these words. To think you deserve ‘respect’ from someone after accusing their friends of horrible things and harassing them to the point that they block you is so manipulative and quite frankly cruel.

Again, Carson has the right to block anyone he wants. Creators are not your friends, they are entertainment. If you are making them upset and harassing them, you shouldn’t get mad when they block you.

Listen. It can be tough, finding out that someone you look up to has blocked you. Yes, I’m sure people had a not-so-nice time with their mental health when it happened to them. But in most cases, they were blocked for a reason. Some people were even literally asking to get blocked and then got mad when they did. But again, no one has been barred from viewing Carson’s content. He simply blocked people who he didn’t want to see in his comments section.

You have freedom of speech, but you don’t have freedom from consequence. If you say something that hurts someone else, you’re not always going to be free from their judgement.

Carson has been very open about his own struggles with depression and imposter syndrome recently, and people are viewing his actions as... hypocritical? This is flawed logic. Carson blocked stans because they were bad for his mental health, the fact that some claim to have had ‘panic attacks’ as a result is not on him. He has the autonomy to block who he wants to block.

Wilbur Soot made some comments about the situation, which can be found in this video from 7 minutes 30 seconds in, and goes until 10 minutes and 11 seconds in:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/667971714

What Wilbur says here is completely understandable. He doesn’t have a problem with stans, but doesn’t speak for anyone but himself. Just because one person is okay with something doesn’t mean someone else is, too.

Also, a lot of people think that it’s okay to hate on someone like Carson or Schlatt, then turn around and stan Wilbur, which is kind of fucked up, because they’re friends in real life. How would you feel if someone was super nice to you, then turned around and harassed your friends?

A lot of people claimed to have ‘hyperfixations’ on Carson or lunch club, which they used as an excuse to be obsessive and creepy. This is bullshit, but someone else explained it a lot better than I could:

And I absolutely agree with this. You cannot use neurodivergence to explain away your creepiness. That’s just offensive to people who do hyperfixate, and leads to even more problems and misunderstandings.

Carson did a stream much later where he talked about all of these things, and boy did that go well (not). Here is a clip of him talking about hyperfixations:

https://m.twitch.tv/clip/SuaveBlushingDotterelBCWarrior

Now, here’s where my support for Carson falters. He should have done more research on what hyperfixations really are before he said things about them. He hurt some people with what he said, and just saying he’s uneducated on the topic isn’t really an excuse.

HOWEVER. Carson was given very little time to research (about 24 hours between his original tweets and his stream) and, more importantly, it is very obvious that the use of the term ‘hyperfixation’ has been warped and manipulated by stans who are misusing the term to excuse their behaviour. Carson probably saw stans using it and assumed it was something synonomous with ‘obsessions’.

What he said was poorly worded, but the point he was making is the same as the (much more researched and informative) tweet above. Anyone getting mad that he is somehow ‘invalidating mental health or autism’ with his comments clearly don’t understand the point he was trying to make in the first place.

And here’s a clip of Connor talking about it, too, as well as defending Carson’s right to block people as he wishes:

https://www.twitch.tv/connoreatspants/clip/YummySlickPlumageSpicyBoy

https://www.twitch.tv/connoreatspants/clip/JazzySpotlessMelonMoreCowbell

What he said here is completely valid, a little poorly worded in the same way as Carson’s statement, but overall something I stand behind.

Some people are claiming that Carson is being manipulative or ‘gaslighting’ fans and stans:

Carson is not against fans who create cool stuff for him and his friends. He is against the people who harass him, accuse his friends of horrible things, and try to look for every little thing they’ve said and done wrong. This is what he said, and people got mad at him for it, and so he blocked them. That is it. There is no gaslighting. There is no manipulation. I’ve seen much more manipulative things coming from the stans’ side of things.

Now we move on to Noah’s reply to Carson’s tweet. Which, yes, caused a whole new can of worms to be opened.

Now, for those like me who have trouble figuring out Noah’s way of speaking, let me translate: ‘stans are insecure people who start to feel entitled because they’ve started to view a streamer they like as a friend/someone who shares their pain.’

For those of you who don’t know, this is what ‘don’t negotiate with terrorists’ means:

However, almost predictably, stans saw the word ‘terrorist’ and lost their goddamn minds. That, coupled with the complicated phrasing of Noah’s words, caused a lot of stans to freak out.

This conversation is full of Bad Takes, but my main issue is that they are trying to diagnose Noah with an actual mental illness. That is not only offensive to people who have that illness (especially calling him ‘insane’ in the same sentence, as well as implying that having said illness makes you a bad person) but is also highly hypocritical since so many stans claimed to all be neurodivergent themselves.

Also, 90% of his fans aren’t stans. They’re mostly fans or flans. You are a loud minority. You aren’t as powerful as you think you are. Noah even started to retweet hate comments, that’s how few shits he gave. He also shows that he is concerned about people making things up about him, which is understandable.

Plus he outright said that stans are not fans of him, which in most cases, they’re not. Noah’s content isn’t as widely watched as some of his friends’ stuff, and a lot of stans don’t watch his streams.

But anyway, here’s one good take I saw floating around:

After this, before his stream, Carson deleted his original tweets and spent some time with his family, which was a sensible and mature thing to do at this point.

During Carson’s stream, someone notified him that his ‘fans’ had started to doxx stans. Here is his reaction:

https://m.twitch.tv/callmecarsonlive/clip/SpicySassyGerbilArgieB8

A lot of people got mad that he didn’t do more to stop the doxxings, but I want to raise the question: what was he supposed to do? He can’t control his ‘fans’ (another breed of stans who don’t call themselves stans were doing the doxxings, to be honest) and he said not to do it. He was streaming, he didn’t know how serious it was or even if it was true, at that moment, what was he supposed to do?

It did get serious. People I know were doxxed. Anyone posting anything (positive or negative) about lunch club, smplive, and Carson were in danger. It was not fake like some people claimed. The twt handles in this post are blurred out because of the doxxing threats. I am making this post at my own risk, but I do feel that tumblr is safer than twitter at the moment.

This being said, it is in no way Carson’s fault how out of hand this has become. He has been against doxxing in the past and his sentiments haven’t changed. He has said more about the doxxings in replies to tweets such as this one:

Also, here’s what the mods on Carson’s discord server had to say about the situation. They’ve clearly talked about this with Carson, and are strongly against anyone who is doxxing these people (especially since a lot of the people being doxxed are minors).

A similar sentiment was shared on Ted’s discord server:

Here is what ItsAsaii had to say:

So that’s basically where everything stands right now. If you want an even fuller update on everything, check out Carson’s stream ‘afternoon fellas and fellettes’ where he talks about everything.

Here’s the last tweets I have from Carson regarding the whole situation:

And I agree fully with what he has said. And again, Carson doesn’t owe stans anything. Just like what was said here, he had subs and fans before he had stans, they did not ‘make’ him, and they cannot control him.

This is all I have to say, for now. If I have missed anything or you’d like me to cover anything else, please let me know. If I have hugely missed the mark and said something super wrong/offensive, let me know. If you’d like me to talk about a streamer or youtuber not related to lunch club, throw me a DM or an ask and I’ll try to compile some things, even if I don’t watch their content or know who they are.

If you’d like up-to-date information about drama in smptwt, streamers, and youtubers, join the Cancelled Heaven discord server- which I linked at the start of the post.

I thank you all for reading, and suggest that you reblog this so that as many people as possible can see it. If you want to risk it, go ahead and link this post in a tweet or something, but please do be careful.

For some ‘extra reading’ (watching) I highly recommend Contrapoints’ video on cancel culture: https://youtu.be/OjMPJVmXxV8

And Philosophy Tube’s video on artists and fandoms, there’s some really insightful things about parasocial relationships: https://youtu.be/3IG0Y63LkDM

Lots of love, and have a great day <3

#smptwt #smplive #lunch club #callmecarson #ted nivison #slimecicle #cscoop #twitter #twitter drama #twt #lctwt #stan culture #cancel culture #long post

92 notes · View notes

blue-shaded · 4 years ago

Note

Hey Dolphin anon! While I respect your opinion, I disagree on some points. I don’t know where the popular sentiment that he doesn’t denounce his stans’ toxic behavior came from but he’s said multiple times that he denounces it (https://twitter.com/PooGnf/status/1399592255657156608/video/1 ignore the user lol :) ) and that’s just what he says on Twitter. Some of it yeah is a little more lighthearted, like when he talks about Detective Dream in some of the tweets, but I’d say that a fair amount of those tweets lack sarcasm and are said in full seriousness. In addition, he’s also said not to send hate on his behalf during multiple of his own livestreams, he said it when he went on Kaceytron’s streams, he said he didn’t condone toxic behavior during Kavos’s video, as well as multiple times throughout various drama like the speedrunning situation and the John Swan situation (for Blue and others, John Swan is a commentary youtubers who basically did a lot of weird shit, who Dream worked with in the past and had a bad experience with. man imitated Dream’s discord profile and pretended to be him while sending sexual things to a minor, and then tried to blame everything he did on his 12-year old neighbor when he got caught, saying he left his computer open and that that neighbor got on Discord and was the one who did all that weird shit. Obviously false and got proven false, but even when Dream was debunking the situation on stream, he said not to send hate). He’s said it multiple times and I agree that he should continue to say it as he continues to grow to remind both new and old fans but he’s said it multiple times and at this point, anyone who Is still sending death threats is aware that it’s wrong and that he doesn’t support it and they just don’t care. I personally think that behavior is disgusting and I know most of the people I interact with on Twitter do as well. At this point, it’s just sort of a question of to what extent do people want him to say it. The most recent time he denounced death threats was on May 31st both on Twitter and on stream, and he’s probably said it at least once a month almost every month since like December, so he says it quite a bit, so going further would be personally DMing each toxic person he sees and telling them to stop which. I just think is a little absurd. I know that others want him to post a video on his main channel about it and condoning it as well, but I sort of disagree? While death threats can be sent on any platform, the platform on which people receive it on the most is Twitter. Anyone who’s obsessed enough to send death threats is going to be following him on all socials so they’ve definitely seen him condemning it as he’s tweeted saying that he doesn’t support that type of behavior multiple times, but of course, others are allowed to disagree with me on that, I just think that it’s hard to find a good course of action past that. I agree that toxic behavior should still be called out, but I feel like a lot of people advocating for him to do it more than he is now kind of don’t understand how out of control toxic behavior is and how they rarely listen to creators themselves.

The speedrunning stuff I kind of agree on, though I’ll just go a little more in depth about the situation. basically, for those who don’t watch Dream’s videos, dream codes mod videos for Minecraft and these mod videos would consist of things like “Minecraft but everything is dark” and “Minecraft but we can only see one chunk at a time”. Now because Dream still runs the dream SMP and did speed running at the time he had to move these mods out of the mod folder in order to do everything else that he was doing when he wasn’t recording videos. This would later on lead to the problem where the speed run moderators would ask for his mods folder and he wouldn’t be able to provide a full copy because he had since moved stuff around because it had been a week after the actual speedrun streams they were inquiring about. The thing that ended up being the problem was a recording mod that Dream had asked a separate developer to create for him and the Dream Team in order to make their recordings smoother. that was sort of it there weren’t any specifics given, he just wanted recordings to be better. Now because it was just for recordings and since the mod ran well dream didn’t ask the developer for the specifics of what they coded into this recording mod at the time. In his mind this recording mod sort of just clean things up visually. And for those who have never really played Minecraft, what I mean by that is if you press F5 in Minecraft you get a whole ton of information on your screen about coordinates and computer specs. When people say that the mod cleaned things up visually, they mean that all of that irrelevant information that clogs up the screen in a video was minimized to just coordinates. he was wrong in this assumption, the Recording mud also included coding that allowed for better trades. again for anyone who doesn’t play Minecraft, Dream and the Dream Team record their videos in the 1.16 version of Minecraft. In this version of Minecraft, it’s a widely used tactic to use piglin trades to get ender pearls. Since their videos aren’t just about beating the game regularly, there’s usually more of a focus on fighting or the specific mod that they’re using for that video, the developer increased the likelihood of ender pearl trades with pigeons in order to make recordings go faster. Regardless of that and his misconception of what the mod actually did, Dream didn’t believe it mattered because there was no record of him having loaded that recording mod during the speedrunning streams in question. This is because Dream uses something that a lot of speed runners use, he uses Fabric. Fabric API is something that both allows your Minecraft to run smoother (which is why a lot of speed runners use it, it’s approved to be used by the speed run moderators) and for those who wish to do so, it also functions as a mod loader. So when I said that he had no record of him having loaded the recording mod, I mean that when he checked the logs of Fabric API, it said that the only thing loaded was Fabric itself. this was inherently a wrong way to go about it because the way Fabric API logs work is that you have to be searching for a specific mod, so you can’t just look at what the log says is loaded on because sometimes the logs don’t show a mod unless you specifically ask the program to look for it. Dream figured this out a couple months ago, he went back through the logs, talk to the developer who coded the recording mod and got confirmation that yes, he did have the recording mod on and yes, the recording mod does increase ender pearl drop rates. He recently wrote a pastebin that has since been taken down by the pastebin staff though screenshots of it are still easy to find. I do wish that he had come out about this sooner because he knew of this information for a couple months before openly sharing, but I do get the situation has sort of faded and that he wasn’t excited to re-open that discussion when he himself had gotten a lot of hate and the threats during that situation.

Obviously as outsiders looking in we will never know how genuine he’s being, if he’s telling the truth, but I choose to believe that he did feel as bad about the situation as he said he did because for a lot of people who do consume his content, it’s been very noticeable within the past couple months that he’s been a lot less active both in terms of streaming and just interacting with the community, but of course, it’s all just personal interpretation and we will never actually know.

Just wanted to explain the situation fully because people who may not play Minecraft and understand it the developing behind it may not understand how he could’ve possibly not seen the mod or not have a copy of the mod folder. I would disagree with you on the point that the controversy around Dream’s speed runs has delegitimized the rest of the speed running community. As someone who still watches well-known speed runners like Bennex and Illumina (TapL and Punz if they count as well), I don’t think any of them have really argued that they think that situation has delegitimize them, though I guess you could argue that they simply haven’t spoken up because they’re a little too afraid to speak up against a big Youtuber, which is fair. But as someone who has spoken to a lot of people who have sort of slightly read up on the situation without actually caring about Minecraft or Dream, none of them have said that they think that the speed running community is not legitimate because of it. Not to sound flippant because I do like watching speedrunners (albeit the already more popular ones) or anything, but the Minecraft speedrunning community isn’t exactly very mainstream, not very many people care enough to actively oppose it or say that they’re not legitimate, from what I’ve seen it’s either just you support the community or you don’t care. Even people who actively thought that dream cheated from the beginning, never used that to discredit the rest of the community (at least from what I saw). They simply didn’t care. anyone making that argument is sort of ridiculous, before the 1.16 speed runs that got investigated, Dream already had a couple official speed runs on his YouTube channel. At the time they were posted, they were approved and legitimate (though I believe one’s been taken down now), so it’s not like even Dream’s entire time in speedrunning was completely falsified, so anyone using one situation to delegitimize a whole community is being a little ridiculous. In addition, anyone who actually knows and cares enough about the speedrunning community to try to claim that all of them aren’t credible, would know that a lot of the speedrunning community didn’t even like dream all that much, even before the cheating out allegations, and they didn’t really associate with him, so they would know the Dream’s actions don’t define the entire community. If you’re talking about Dream’s more general fans, like those who watch his YouTube who may now be skewed against the speedrunning community, you can look at comments in his community tab on his channel and see that people aren’t actively against the speedrunning community, they just say they don’t care and they want it behind them which is very different from thinking that they are all illegitimate. Though if you have substantial proof of multiple cases of multiple people being biased against speedrunning community and believing that they’re all cheaters after Dream’s situation, I’d be open to see them.

I also disagree with your point over Dream being a “professional speed runner”. He says this in responses to claims that speedrunning is a huge part of his career. And he’s correct when people talk about dreams achievements, none of them really talk about speed running that much it’s always about the SMP, his manhunt videos, and his coding videos. He’s not a professional speed runner in the way Illumina and Couriway and Bennex are. His career isn’t based on professional speedrunning. Citing the Minecraft manhunt series as proof that he’s a “professional speed runner“ is definitely a little skewed and ultimately wrong. If you tried to claim those as official speedruns, the moderating team would likely have a little laugh and then reject it. Yes, he has speed runner in the title and yes in a way, it is a speedrun because he is trying to beat the game as fast as possible, but more so he’s trying to avoid being killed by his friends in the game so it’s about both speed and being smart. Everyone within the speed run community and a lot of those outside of it would know that being chased down by your friends during the game isn’t a real category in Minecraft speedrunning and therefore the Minecraft Manhunt videos aren’t official speed runs. So people claiming that dream is an official speed runner and that that’s his career is ultimately false, which is what he was saying. His official speed runs were all done for fun and have never been the main focus of his content.

When you say that the legitimacy of the speedrunning community was called into question, I will admit, I’m unsure if you’re talking about the community itself and the people with in it, like the actual speedrunners, or if you’re talking about the moderator team or both. I will admit, even as someone who hyperfixates on Dream, his initial reaction to the moderators video saying that he cheated was godawful. for Blue and others who aren’t as into this and don’t know, basically the gist was he was lashing out and saying it was total bullshit and calling them idiots. He has since deleted that tweet and apologized for it and admitted that it was incredibly childish and impulsive. While I do get why he was so mad since the video had blindsided him after weeks of radio silence from the moderators and as a kid who didn’t finish high school he didn’t really understand the statistics that were being said in the video and since at the time he genuinely didn’t think that he cheated (a lot of people have said that all this combined led to heavy RSD which is why he lashed out like that), I still think that he could’ve handled the situation a lot better. on the other hand I think the moderators could’ve handled this situation a lot better as well. I don’t want to talk about the whole moderator team but I do want to talk about specifically Geosquare, who is probably the most talked about moderator when it comes to the situation. Dolphin anon, if you’re talking about the legitimacy of the moderator team being called into question, I’m assuming the situation surrounding Geosquare is likely what you’re talking about, which is a slightly different situation from just the speedrunning. So for Blue and others, before the video talking about Dream cheating was released, Dream had been told that there were people on the moderating team who didn’t like him. Knowledge of this bias is also a part of what caused Dream to lash out more in his initial reaction (though again it doesn’t excuse it). The biased moderator in question turned out to be Geosquare. This was heavily proven later on in about March of this year, where Geosquare played a large role in spreading the video of fake ‘dream’ saying the n-word. Geosquare was a speedrun moderator, he Has investigative skills and he got called out for spreading that video without doing any sort of investigating because it was clear to a lot of people that the person in the video wasn’t Dream. There were multiple things that made this video seem not credible, all of which easily could’ve been found by Geosquare.

Firstly, antis of Dream had been saying since January that they were going to try to find a way to accuse Dream of saying the N-word whether that just be through spreading rumors or faking a video or whatever else. Secondly, the video really sounds nothing like dream. Now I will say this video that the clip of someone saying the n-word was from 2016-2017. I’m not saying the video was fake, I’m not saying that someone somehow predicted that Dream was going to become a big creator or time traveled and went back in time to set him up for that. but the most common theory is that and he simply did go looking back through old Minecraft videos in order to find something incriminating. Both the creator of this video and a friend of the person who was saying the N-word in the video have since explained this. so basically for blue and others, Dream has not always on the Minecraft username Dream. He got it from someone else. And so the person in this video is called Dream. Since it was a while ago the timeline’s a little fuzzy for everyone and it’s unsure if this video occurred before Dream got the username or if it occurred after Dream got the username and the people within the video simply still called the person in the video Dream because that was what they were used to calling them. The clip’s a little too grainy to see the usernames and the video has since been taken down by the original poster. Either way, two different people. Geosquare has since admitted that this was bias on his end and that he apologized to Dream and that they’re all good and has given an apology to the black community for using the n-word as a weapon for his own bias and he has since stepped from the speedrun moderating team. so dolphin anon, when you’re talking about the legitimacy of the community being called into question if you’re talking about the moderating team, yes, you’d be correct, it was called into question, but I would say for valid and good reasons because it ultimately was biased (though again, doesn’t change that Dream was the one in the wrong in the speedrunning situation w how he initially reacted). I don’t want to fully blame Geosquare and say that it was completely obvious it wasn’t Dream or make it seem completely obvious to you guys, because things like mic changes and puberty do exist, so I’ll give the clips and allow you all to decide for yourselves.

The clip of someone, accused to be Dream, saying the N-word: https://twitter.com/Tommathyinnit/status/1375395156791336964/video/1 (I am not entirely sure which speaker is being accused to be Dream, which was sort of the first indicated to me that it probably wasn’t him because I don’t think peoples voices change That much, but I think he was being accused to be the person who was saying “well you can bring your friend...”) Again, this video is from 2016-2017.

A clip of Dream talking, also from 2016-2017: https://twitter.com/Onciescumbucket/status/1357440678909923335/video/1 (okay so. again ignore the user 😭 but it’s confirmed to be Dream by the fact it does sound like him and his long-time friends Sapnap, who used to go by PandascanPvP, and BadBoyHalo being in the video. I believe the video has captions so even for those who don’t know Dream or what he sounds like, it’ll tell you which one’s him and you can compare that voice to the one in the other clip)

But yeah. aaaaa I’m sorry for such a long submission, I’m hyperfixated on Dream and the Dream Team, though I do understand that there are legitimate criticisms on all of them and that no one’s required to like them, and people don’t need real reasons to dislike them because people are allowed to dislike whomever they want. Definitely not any hate towards you dolphin anon, I think that you do have points, I just wanted to express my disagreement with some of them and it’s nice that you do acknowledge that the toxicity goes both ways for both stans and antis. I think a big problem is that a lot of the creators who condemn or speak against Dream (people like Slasher and Noah Hugbox and Kavos) don’t openly condemn the toxic behavior of their own fans as much as Dream does, so it becomes a very hypocritical cycle where they’re making videos about the toxicity of Dream stans and yet their own fans send death threats to Dream and his community. And since the death threats towards Dream come from multiple different fanbase rather than one centralized fanbase the way it is if toxic people from Dream’s community are attacking someone, he can’t really pin it on one person and ask them to denounce their fans so it just becomes a thing where he’s both receiving a ton of death threats while being asked to denounce death threats towards others when there’s no one really denouncing death threats towards him, which is just discouraging for his community to see, but that’s just how the Internet is, I suppose. Again, no hate to you dolphin anon and I’m sorry if any part of this came off as such, and again Blue, I’m sorry for such a long submission

MY GOODNESS WHAT A SCROLL Not gonna read all of it cuz its clearly dedicated to my dolphin anon.

#long post

1 note · View note

x-reader-theater · 6 years ago

Text

Snapshots

Relationship: Tom Holland x Male!Gamer!Reader

Summary: When you’re a streamer and your boyfriend’s a movie star, what can go wrong? A lot apparently.

Warnings: Cursing and allusions to sex

Word Count: 8513 words

A/N: Hey guys. What’s up? I started making this, had a breakdown, bone apple teeth. Also, this is like my Kouign-Amann series (read the first part here!), so I don’t know if this will be a series, but maybe? I dunno. Like and reblog. I love your asks.

You feel the sweat beading on your forehead, and your hands are slippery as you aim your gun, looking down the crosshairs. It was just you, and one other person, and you had to kill them before they kill you. You don't dare reach up to wipe away the sweat, making sure to keep moving as you turn every corner, looking for any sign of the other person. You hear only your quiet footsteps, and the quiet patter of water droplets to your right. You feel your heart beating in your chest, threatening to break free from its confines. It aches as you hold your breath, not daring to more for fear that you might miss an important shot. Your head starts to hurt as you scrunch your nose, pushing your glasses back onto the bridge. You let out a steadying breath, and turn around. At the sight of a man, standing behind you with a knife, you shift your aim. He swings wildly, and you shoot. You wait with bated breath, just continuing to shoot until your clip is out. Blue text shows up on the screen.

Blue wins

You shoot up out of your chair, shocked, unable to say anything. Your headphones fall off you, and you hear your teammates shouting and screaming, loud enough where it feels like they're in the room with you.

"YES!" you exclaim, throwing your hands into the air. Looking over at the chat, you see a chorus of 'Congrats!' and 'GG's. You pick up your headset and scream into it, "We're going to Atlanta!"

There's a chorus of cheers, and you throw your hands up into the air again, your headset falling onto the desk with a loud clunk. It sounded like no one cared. You start screaming, and run off camera, before turning and going the other way, screaming the whole time. You have the goofiest smile on your face. You run back to your chair, the yell fading in your throat, and you put your headphones on again, where you hear your friends laughing. You laugh along with them.

"I gotta go, my girlfriend's asking why I'm so loud," you hear Stephanie say.

There's a chorus of agreement, and you nod.

"Okay, you all get some sleep. I'll talk to you later," you say. They all say their goodbyes and log off one by one.

You sit back in your chair, and laugh quietly. "Sorry about that," you say to your chat.

You see a few 'no worries!'

"God, I haven't been to the states since I moved…"

'Where do you live now?'

"I live in the UK. Been here four seven years now. Haven't really had a reason to move," you admit. You hear the telltale sound of a cheer in your ear, and looking over you see someone gave you 1000 cheer. "Thank you so much Malicious Soprano for the 1k cheer! 'So you've been in the UK for as long as you've been streaming?' Actually, longer. I started streaming five years ago. I was just scared to for about two of those seven," you say with a laugh.

For the next hour, you answer a few questions, finish up with a storytime, and then end the stream. You smile and sit in your chair, leaning back as you roll your shoulder.

"Finished?" You hear someone ask from the doorway. Looking up, you see your boyfriend, Tom, standing in the doorway.

You smile and open your arms. "All done." He grins and walks over, and sits in your lap. He wraps his arms around your neck, and kisses you sweetly.

"So…" he says, mumbling against your lips. "I heard you screaming. Was it good screaming?"

You chuckle and kiss him, muttering back to him, "So, you know how I said I wouldn't be able to join you in Atlanta…" He nods slowly. "Well, there's a tournament there for rainbow 6… and my team and I just qualified!"

Tom yells and kisses you. Your eyes widen, but you close them quickly, placing your hands on the side of his face and leaning into it more. He shifts in your lap, and you place a hand on his hip, squeezing. He places his hands on your back, before sliding down, and placing them on your butt. You jump, and break the kiss. Tom laughs, and you frown, though jokingly.

"Come on…" Tom says, leaning forward to kiss you again.

You roll your eyes. "We'll have plenty of time in Atlanta…"

Tom groans and places his head on your shoulder. You laugh and place a hand on his soft hair. He looks up as you run your fingers through his brown locks. "I love you," he says quietly.

You smile and lean down, kissing him. You pull away and murmur against his lips, "I love you too."

You jump as something loud bangs out from the TV speakers. You push yourself harder into Tom's shoulder, hiding your face. He's laughing.

"What are you scared of?" He asks, joking. You slap his arm. You keep your face hidden like that, shivering at every loud noise. You look behind you, and see the face of the monster, before whimpering and turning back into Tom's shoulder. "There's nothing to be-" He cuts himself off by screaming loudly, and turning the TV off completely.

"Nothing to be scared of?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes. You lean up and kiss him with a smile. You're still shaking slightly.

He places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes. "Cold?" You shake your head. You reach out and pet Tessa. She leans her head into your hand and you smile. "Okay, come on."

You don't even have time to stand up before he's holding you bridal style in his arms. You squeal and hook your arms around his neck, kicking out with your legs. Tessa gets up and follows the two of you into the bedroom.

Tom waltz's in, like he's not carrying you in his arms, and throws you ok the bed. You squeak as you tumble over, rolling twice before landing on your back. Tom comes over and starts kissing you. You place your hands on his cheeks and push him back.

You look up at him apologetically and say, "I'm sorry, but I really just want to cuddle tonight."

He smiles reassuringly, and places his hands on your hips. He slips his fingers under your shirt and asks for permission without saying a word. You nod. He pushes your shirt up and over your head, throwing it onto the ground. His shirt follows soon after. You climb underneath the covers and Tom joins you, wrapping his arms around your bare torso and pulling your head into his chest. You kiss his collarbone, and you hear him sigh above you.

That's when you feel something wiggling in between the two of you. You pull apart from Tom, and Tessa's smiling face appears between the two of you. You grin and kiss her on the nose. She looks down at it, back up at you, licks it, then licks your cheek. You laugh.

Tom kisses you.

Everything is perfect.

You groan as you get shot. Again. You were losing badly tonight, and you didn't know why. You and your party members were training, streaming almost every night in preparation for the tournament. You needed a break, something to take your mind off it. Your teammates were feeling it too. It was burning you out, and you needed a break. That's why, for an entire week, you weren't going to play. It was your idea, and the rest of them were on board.

Right now, you needed a break as well. And that break came in the form of your boyfriend, who was getting dinner ready. You look over, and give your camera a look and a gesture that you'd only be a minute before getting up and walking over.

"Hey," you whisper.

"Hey," he whispers back. He gives you a quick kiss. You smile. "Dinner's ready whenever you are."

You smile and nod, and place a hand on his arm. You kiss him, and then there's a crash.

Turning around, you see Tessa's knocked into your desk, and the monitor's been turned, and your keyboard's on the ground.

"Tessa!" You exclaim, rushing over to your computer. You pick up the keyboard, and that's when you see it, the comment in chat that makes you go pale, and makes your heart stop. The comment that changed your life.

Is that Tom Holland?

Your eyes go wide.

"Shit."

You're pacing in your living room as Tom sits on the sofa, your dinners long forgotten. You have your hands in your hair, pulling at it as you try and think. The pain your hair pulling is causing isn't helping.

"Please, stop pacing. You're just freaking yourself out more!" Tom exclaims, and you sigh, doing as asked. He gets up, and walks over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. He squeezes it and you look over at him.

"What are we going to do?" You ask, quiet.

"We're going to adapt," he says simply. You sigh and hang your head, placing it to his chest. He hugs it. "We knew this would happen eventually."

You huff and pull away, looking up at him. "I know, but I didn't think it would be so soon."

He laughs at you, shocked. "After three years, you think three years is too soon?"

You sigh. "I don't know! I guess I was just planning on… well planning something!" You push your face into his chest again. "I hate not having a plan…"

Tom chuckles, and lifts your chin with a finger, kissing your lips quickly. "I know love. It'll be okay. You'll be okay."

You nod and kiss him again. "Can we take our dinner to bed and watch a movie?" You ask, pouting.

Tom laughs, and kisses you again. "Of course love. You get into bed. I'll bring it to you."

You grin and rush off to bed.

You're laying in bed in the morning, your head on Tom's chest, when you see the tweet.

Tom Holland dating a nobody? It's more likely than you think!

You sigh and lay your phone on Tom's stomach. He hisses, and picks up the phone. You chuckle as he sets your phone on the bedside table. You lean up and kiss his jaw, smiling as you lay back down. He runs his fingers through your hair, and you kiss his bare chest. He sighs.

"I'm scared." You feel him shift under you, trying to look at you. No such luck.

"I know." You look up at him. He's looking down at you, sadness and pain in his eyes.

"Are you?" Your voice is quiet when it comes out, but deafening in your ears, the silence of the room enlarging the words so they fit their meaning.

"A little." He admits this with a frown. You kiss his jaw again.

"I'll stick by you, until the bitter end." He smiles and leans down, giving you a full-on kiss now.

"You better."

What you're not expecting when you're walking home is to see three teenage girls walk up to you with pens and paper. It's unexpected, and you're only a block away from home. They come up to you, and the tallest one taps you on the shoulder. You turn around and they hold out pens and a notepad.

"Oh, hello there," you say, a little shocked. You've never had anyone come up to you on the street before. You've seen people do it with Tom, but never you.

"Here, can you take these?" They ask.

You look at them quizzically. "And do what?" You ask cautiously.

"Ask Tom to sign them?"

You turn around, and walk away. You hear the girls start to walk after you, pestering you, following you and you grip your backpack straps.

You take a deep breath, and bolt.

You hear the pitter-patter of feet behind you, and you cut into an alley, the wind rushing by your ears gets louder as you run into the enclosed space. You're panting, your chest hurts, but you keep going. There's a chain-link fence, and a dumpster blocking your way, but you leap up and land on top of the top of it. You rise up slowly and look behind you, making eye contact with the three girls. You see they have their phones raised, and you just turn around and vault over the fence. Your feet hit the pavement, and you feel pain shoot up your ankles, but you just keep going, keep running. Your chest aches, your head is pounding, your legs are burning, your entire body feels like it's being dunked repeatedly in lava but still, you keep running. You do a few laps around the block, checking behind you every now and again for any sign of the girls. When you finally feel like you're safe, you go home, slowing down slightly, but not by a lot.

You slam into your door and fumble with your keys, stuffing the key into the lock and unlocking it with force. You barge through the door, leaning on it as it closes behind you. You stumble into the living room, your foot catching on the rug, and you go toppling onto your knees.

Your hearing is muffled, but you can make out footsteps, a voice, hands on your back, the touch red hot and burning. You look up slowly and see Tom there, his eyes filled with worry, your name on his lips. You look at him with tired eyes.

"What happened? [Y/N], are you okay?" He asks, worried.

You mumble something and scrunch your nose, knowing it didn't come outright. You take a deep breath and say as clearly as you can through tears you didn't know were there, "Three girls. Asked for your signature. I didn't know what to do so I ran. They followed me, so I ran faster, jumped a gate. I ran for a few blocks until I thought they were gone, and came back home." You suck in a breath, you taste tears on your tongue. "I didn't know what to do!" You feel the sob growing like a balloon in your chest and Tom hugs you before it can burst. He doesn't shush you, doesn't tell you to stop, doesn't seem uncomfortable. He just holds you, petting your hair, in silence. He just sits there with you, letting you get your feelings out. You cry until you can't anymore. You sniffle and wipe your nose with the back of your hand, chuckling breathily.

"What's funny?" Tom asks, wiping underneath your eyes.

"It's just- it's just so stupid…" You say, laughing quietly to yourself.

"It's not stupid," Tom says, holding you tight. You push your head into his chest, and he hugs your head, kissing your hair.

"Stay with me?" You ask quietly.

Tom smiles and kisses your hair again, squeezing you tight.

"Never."

It's been about two weeks since you streamed, the hiatus coming at a perfect time for the two of you. All purely by coincidence. When you log on, your teammates are supportive, congratulating you, coming to your side, backing you up. You tell them thank you, but not to tell anyone or talk about it on steam. You didn't need more people getting into a conversation they had no reason to be in. They're all understanding, and you thank them for that.

When the stream actually starts, it's pretty normal, though the numbers watching you stream have practically doubled overnight. No one talks about Tom, no one brings him up, it's nice. You talk about the tournament, about the game, and about nothing all at the same time, getting into an argument about Marmite at one point. You and Sadie, your Australian player, love it. The rest of them hate it. You're suspicious of the number, of the growing amount of people that seem to be joining, getting higher and higher, but you don't say anything, just keeping it to yourself. You just sit and laugh and have a good time, and not think about anything, until you see a cheer, and your face goes blank.

Where's Tom?

You clear your throat and continue playing, but as soon as you round the corner, you get downed, interrogated, and killed. You groan and curtly sound off callouts from the cameras to your team, but it's too late. You lost. You sigh and put your head in your hand, looking up at chat.

I saw Tom's name.

where is he?

omg is he here!

Guys stop, we're going to have to ban you.

yeah seriously youre spamming

I want to see Tom!

Where's Tom?

You groan again and thump your head against the table. You hear a ping in your headphones and look up. Jax messaged you something.

'Hey, you okay dude?' He asks.

You nod and type back quickly, 'Yeah. Just need a break from my chat.'

"Hey, guys?" You hear Jax say in your headphones. There a chorus of yes's. "Why don't we just get drunk and play some Minecraft?"

Everyone else cheers, leaving to get some drinks, but you just smile and say simply, "Jax, I don't drink."

"Yeah, but you love it when we do," he says, knowing he's right. He is. You don't say anything, and he laughs. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

"Yeah yeah," you retort, rolling your eyes, knowing he's right.

"Hey babe?" You hear from the doorway. Looking over you see Tom in the doorway, holding his phone out, confused. You get up and walk over, kissing him quickly, looking behind you to make sure Tessa's still in her signature spot in the corner. No one knew your dog's name; or, at least, they didn't. You had never had to say her name before, but now that everyone knew who you were living with, it was obvious who the Blue Staffy in the corner was.

"Yes, hon?" You ask. "What is it?"

Tom blushes slightly. "How- how do you do the story thing? Where you save them to your page?"

You smile and kiss his cheek, taking the phone and going to his page. "It's just that there. You tap whatever ones you want to keep."

He smiles and kisses you. "Thanks. I'm like an old man, I swear," he says as he walks off.

You roll your eyes and smile, walking back to your computer with a dopey look on your face. You put your headphones back on and say into the mic, "Sorry guys! Had something to take care of."

You don't hear what they say because your attention is turned back to the chat.

omg was that tom?

hi Tom!

Oh shit, it's Tom.Holland isn't it? He left for Tom?

Message deleted by moderator

omg tom just leave him hes not even that funny any-

You shut off chat, closing the tab on your right side monitor.

You have an amazing rest of your night.

"Let's go out?"

You look at Tom from your desk, having turned around to gawk at him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" You ask, confused.

Tom stands up and rolls his eyes. "I said…" He walks over to you and places his hands on the arms of your chair. He leans in and says quietly, just above a whisper, "We should go out. To dinner." You go to speak, but he kisses you. "We've been inside for two weeks, barely going out to do stuff. I miss when we could just go out for a nice meal…"

You scoff. "You mean before you became a big shot movie star?"

He chuckles and rests his head on your shoulder. "Yeah yeah. Can we please just go out? I'm feeling really stir crazy…"

You sigh and kiss his head. "Fine fine. But I get to choose." He grins and kisses you.

That's how you found yourself at Château de la Nourriture, a small bistro twenty minutes from your place. You used to always go there when you first started dating Tom. Almost every week you'd go on a date. At first, all you would do was talk, but as conversation dwindled, the comfortable silence took its place. You'd never had that before, silence that felt good, felt safe. That's how you knew you wanted to stay with him, for as long as you could.

You smile at him from across the table, and he reaches his hand out. You grab it. He glows. He looks so incredibly happy and honestly, you are too. You really like being able to hold his hand, to walk with him in public with your fingers interlocked, not having to pretend to just be friends, roommates. He lifts up your hand and kisses your knuckles, making your face go warm. You smile at him.

CLICK!

You look over and see a kid with his phones out, taking a picture of you. You take your hand away from Tom's, not looking at him as the kid continues to snap pictures. Glancing over at Tom, he looks angry.

He puts on a smile though, and says to the kid, "Hey, we're having dinner right now, could you not photograph us please?"

CLICK!

That's when the parent runs over and scoops the kid up, ripping the phone out of his hand. "I am so sorry about that!" She says, apologizing furiously. "God I'm so sorry, I thought he was behind me and when I turned around he was gone and I looked over and saw him at your table. He would not stop talking about you all night and I figured if he was anywhere it had to be here and-"

You put a hand up to stop her, and she closes her mouth. "Thank you, ma'am, for collecting your child. Please tell him what not to do in restaurants," you say simply, a sad look in your face.

The mom's face falls. "You know, he's a huge fan of yours Mr. [L/N], and you're being really rude." Your eyebrows raise and you look over at Tom, who's just as shocked.

You get up from the table, and just walk away.

Later that night, you're laying in bed, looking at your phone when you see an article pop up on your feed.

TOM HOLLAND AND BOYFRIEND SPOTTED! WHO IS IS THIS MYSTERIOUS PERSON AND ARE THEY REALLY THAT UNKNOWN?

You click on the article and start reading it. It goes through your history online, starting as a YouTuber and then switching over to streaming once a week, before finally deciding to just do that full time. They have pictures from when you and Tom first started going out, when the media thought you were just friends or roommates. Then there, at the bottom, is the pictures from tonight. They're blurry, and half the time Tom's not even in the photos that were taken vertically, but there's one clear picture, definitely from a higher angle, taken horizontally. It's you and Tom, looking angry at something next to the lense.

You groan and realize it's probably from when the mother picked up her child, when you both were angry the kid had ruined your dinner. You go to keep reading, but the phone is taken out of your hand. You go to protest, but the words get caught in your throat.

There was Tom, frowning at your phone which he had clutched in his hand, completely naked. You go to speak, but the words get caught in your mouth before they can tumble out. He looks up at you, and his frown disappears, being replaced by a smirk. He throws your phone onto the bedside table and gets down on his hands, crawling over to where you're laying down.

"You know…" he says quietly into the shell of your ear. He noses at your hair. "The night isn't over…" You feel him pressed up against you, already halfway there. Your breath catches in your throat and you nod slowly. He bites at your ear and your chest clenches. "Is that a yes?" He asks low in your ear, and he starts kissing down your neck to your neck and collarbone.

He bites.

You moan.

"Yes!"

"Okay okay okay…" you mumble to yourself as you look at what you've packed. "Pants, shirts, underwear, socks, extra shoes, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant…" you list. "Am I missing anything?"

You look over at your boyfriend who was just laying in the middle of the bed, with no concern for your stuff. He looks up from his phone. "Hm?"

You roll your eyes and smile. "I asked if I was missing anything." He looks at you questioningly. "For the trip?"

"Oh! Um…" He looks around the bed. "Chargers?"

"Oh!" You exclaim, going into the spare bedroom to get your extra chargers. One for your phone and one for your computer. You grab an extra USB one for your phone, in case you need to charge it on the go. You walk back into your room, put the cables down, and hear the doorbell.

Looking over at Tom, you see him confused. "Were you expecting someone?" He asks, putting his phone down and sitting up.

"No? We're you?" You ask. He shakes his head. Carefully, you leave the bedroom. Looking behind you, you see Tom following, though a safe distance away admittedly. You walk up to the door, and a woman with her phone out is standing there, the bottom pointed away from her and towards you. "Um, hello? Who are you?"

She smiles brightly. "Hi! My name is Linda Grayson! I'm a reporter from The Sun! I was wondering if I could-"

You don't let her finish. You just slam the door in her face and whirl around to face Tom, wide-eyed and scared.

You hear banging on the door. "I just want to talk to you about your relationship! The readers want to know!" Linda screams from the other side, almost every syllable punctuated by the slamming of her fist. You turn around and close the bolt, and the chain at the top. The doorbell starts ringing. And ringing. And ringing.

You groan and throw your head back on the door, not moving.

"We can call the police if it continues," Tom says, but you shake your head.

"And how will that look?" You ask, exasperated. "I know your agent's already pissed at you, what with everything going on. You know with- well with me and-"

Tom cuts you off. "No. Stop it. I don't care. They can be as mad as they want. I love you and that won't change. All this press, the media, all of it. Nothing's going to change what we have."

You walk over to him and grab his hand. He squeezes and you squeeze back.

"I love you too," is all you say. It's all you need to say.

The doorbell is still going off.

"So what the fuck are we going to do about this?" Tom asks.

You sigh. "I think we should call the cops."

It was a foggy Tuesday morning when you arrived in Atlanta. You and Tom were all bundled up, but even with the fog, it was blisteringly hot. You ended up shedding most of your clothing before you even got to your car. Because Tom was a big shot movie star now, he was given access to a car to take them places. They wholeheartedly agreed to it. Getting through the airport and to the car was not a huge deal. Only a few people stopped them, but they were kind and courteous, asking politely for pictures or autographs. Neither of you were in any rush, so you indulged them. You mostly took the pictures.

The ride to the hotel was silent, but you were okay with that. You didn't need to talk. You just held Tom's hand and every time you thought about him, you would squeeze his hand. He always squeezed back. You walked into the hotel hand in hand, past all the screaming fans and paparazzi alike. You walk in unabashedly, unashamed, unfazed. You go to your room and your stuff is dropped off. As soon as everyone leaves you alone, your lips are attacked by Tom's who pushes you against the wall. He pins your hands above your head, and you just moan into his mouth.

He pulls away with a grin. "Holy shit that felt so good!" He exclaims.

"What?" You ask confused.

"Just- just holding hands! Walking outside in public without having to stand two feet apart!" He shouts, excited. You start grinning too, and soon enough, Tom's pressing up against you again. "Can this just stay like this, forever?"

You smile and kiss him. "Yes."

Day one of the event, Tom can't join you. He's busy shooting his movie, what few scenes he was doing in Atlanta anyways. You had learned through him that he was going to have to travel to Italy for most of the scenes. You don't mind. When your boyfriend was a movie star you had to make sacrifices. Mostly though, when he was doing press tours, you were able to join him. It was fun, and you got to travel a lot. Your fans before that just assumed you traveled a lot.

Day one went smoothly. Your team got further in the competition, winning three matches and losing only one. You progress to the next day. You spend the day with your teammates, just walking around the convention when you're finished, buying art of you or Tom, or just whatever's cute. You take pictures with cosplayers and just have a good time with your friends. You gorge yourselves on shitty fake nachos and introduce your Australian mates to some of the worst, but most popular, American foods.

That night, sitting in the hotel room, Tom comes in from a long day of filming. Expecting him to want to go straight to bed, you had put your pajamas on in anticipation. What he says when he comes in though is not what you're expecting.

"Let's go to a club."

You look at him, shocked. "Are you sure? Usually, you just want to sleep through tomorrow…" You walk over to him, placing a hand on his forehead.

He grabs your wrist and kisses your hand. "I want to go out, like we used to. I want to dance on my boyfriend and not care if anyone sees us. I want to get drunk and have amazing sex later tonight."

You scoff. "Well, I'm not having sex with you if you get drunk." He waves it off but you know he understands. God, you make us sound like an old married couple… Fine! Fine. We'll go out. Just, let me get changed?"

Tom nods, kissing you quickly, before letting you go get changed. You don't like to dress up very flashy, so tonight it's a simple jean t-shirt combo with a black bomber jacket. You put a baseball cap on, Red Sox, and stand by the door once you're done.

Tom grins at you and takes your hand. He leans over and kisses you. You don't break the contact.

Atlanta is a beautiful town at night, with its old neon signs lighting up the night sky, turning everyone a shade of purple or green, red or orange. It's gorgeous walking out at night, and it's even more amazing holding Tom's hand.

You get to the club, a little underground thing with flashing neon lights above it. It's quite aesthetically pleasing. You and Tom get a quick picture, a snapshot, underneath the lights. You walk inside hand in hand.

The music is loud, thumping through your ears, the bass vibrating through your heart. It's dark, hard to see except for the few choice lights, like the ones above the bar and turntable. There's no one there at the moment, but it's a Wednesday night. The one thing that's strange about this place are the people. There are people everywhere. At the bar, sitting at tables, around the outside chatting, and especially, on the dancefloor.

You barely have time to take it all in before he drags you over there. He doesn't even let you take a break before he starts dancing on you. You have no idea what to do. You don't dance, you sit in a chair all day and play video games or edit. Tom's always been the dancer in the house, dragging you into impromptu slow dances or just grinding on you while music played. There was one time he gave you a lap dance and you couldn't keep your hands off him. You didn't even last through the song. You vowed you'd never let him do that again. He vowed to break that.

You end up just swaying in time to the music, though you couldn't really find a beat. There were no drums to keep you on track. You try and find a bass line, but the completely electronic music is making your head spin and you can't pinpoint any of it. That's when you feel someone grabbing your arm, dragging you away from your dancing boyfriend who was in his own moment. You look up and see a handsome guy, long black hair that hangs just above his shoulders, wearing the most disgusting and outlandish tropical button-up you'd ever seen. He starts dancing on you, and you freeze. He doesn't stop though, doesn't sense your discomfort. You go to back away, but he grabs your arm, and says over the music, "Where do you think you're going?"

You tense up. This is why you didn't go out. This is why you didn't talk to people. Where's Tom?

"I-I'm going back to my boyfriend!" You exclaim.

He scoffs. "What boyfriend? Where? I don't see anyone here." He leans in closer. You can smell the hard alcohol he's been drinking.

You see a hand reach up, and tap his shoulder gently, with the grace of a spider. The man turns around suddenly, letting go of your arm. Standing in front of him, is Tom, arms crossed and a very annoyed look on his face.

"Excuse me, I think that's my boyfriend you're touching," he says, enunciating every syllable in the word 'boyfriend'. The man looks at him, shocked and a little confused.

"I'm sorry, when did they let a teenager in here? I thought this was a club!" He shouts over the music.

You see Tom getting defensive, and the guy is getting angrier by the second. There's a crowd forming around you, and while the music is still playing, you think they turned it down a little. You clench your fist and grab the guy by the shoulder spinning him around just as he extends a punch. You fuck and it swings over your head, just barely missing Tom's. He follows through too heavily with the punch, and before he can strike again, you push yourself upwards, your fist going straight into his jaw. You hear a crack and he grips his face, howling in pain. Security guards and bouncers alike pull the two of you apart, and you are forcefully ejected from the building. You stumble out onto the street and Tom catches you, making sure you don't fall. Looking up at him, he's grinning like a madman.

"Holy shit [Y/N]!" He exclaims, placing a hand around your waist. "That was incredible!"

You shake your head and grip your hand. "Yeah, that wasn't really worth it though…" You look around. "Shit I'm sorry, I saw him going for you and I know how Marvel would feel if you got hurt and I know how it-"

Tom cuts you off with a finger to your lips. You stop mid-sentence and look down at it, confused. He pulls away, apologetic, and says calmly, "Well, thank you for that. Now, let's get you back to the hotel, and I'll help you patch up your hand. I need you at peak performance for tomorrow."

You grin and let him walk you back.

Day two is much like the first. Even with your hurt hand you still manage to get into the semi-finals, though just barely squeaking by. That night, Tom doesn't want to go out. You sit in the hotel room and watch some funny movies. You end up falling asleep halfway through Hot Fuzz. When you wake up the next morning, there's a note on the pillow next to you.

Gone out for the shoot today. Get some rest. I love you. ~T

You smile at the note and set it aside. You get up and get dressed, putting on your team's jacket. The UK Controls. It wasn't the best name, but it was as good as you could come up with. It was also funny because you're the team captain and the only UK member on the team. You don't even sound British.

The event is largely the same on day three. You get there, practice a few rounds, then take a break, walking the floor and taking pictures. You don't get a single person mentioning Tom or your relationship. You're ecstatic by the time the actual competition comes around. You sit down in your chair, add your specific specs for your weapons, and the game begins.

Your team is on defense first. You go around, placing fortifications on the walls you know need them. Soon enough, everyone has armor and the walls are not going to break when shot at. You crouch behind the open doorway, and lean out. Nothing. You move up slowly, your gun in your hand. You hear footsteps behind you, but Jax says he's going out with you, so you don't turn around to look at him.

You peek out the next wall, and take three shots, destroying a camera, cursing that it took so many bullets. Jax just continues to follow you. You hear the muffled voice of the announcers in the background but you ignore it.

Something explodes next to you, and you look. The window you were next to was just shot out. The bullets all went above your head. You pop your head up and take five shots. Headshot. The crowd cheers. You keep focusing.

You crouch back down, but keep an eye on the window. If they were smart they'd travel in pairs of two. You hear gunshots and pieces of the window fly into your vision. Jax peeks up and takes a few shots. Downed. Killed. Jax is at half health. You and him continue moving. Stephanie yells that there's someone on the stairs. You and Jax rush over as she kills one but is downed by the other. He kills her, you get a headshot on him. Two left. Four of you.

You hear screaming, Sadie, who's being shot by two at once. She goes down. They interrogate her and kill her. She shouts that one is at half and the other's almost dead. You and Jax go towards where she died, your last teammate, Harry, going as well. Jax doesn't get very far; he gets headshotted. You immediately dart around the corner, peaking your head out to get a few shots off. You down the one who was low, and just shoot them until they're dead. There's only one left. You hear Harry say he's almost there, he turns a corner, and he's lit up. He manages to get a few shots off, but gets downed almost right away. You peek around the corner, and fire off a single shot. Headshot.

Round over.

You cheer, the rest of your team cheering as well. It's a short game, and you beat them four to nothing. The rest of the day goes the same, you dominating everyone. You make it to the finals.

During your last game, you stand up in your seat you're so excited. When the crowd starts chanting your name, you do some random, silly poses, just making everyone, including yourself, laugh. It was incredible. You're still grinning as you make your way back to the hotel. You get stopped for a few pictures, and some fans ask about Tom. It doesn't deter your mood.

You walk into the hotel room, and see Tom, sitting on the bed, looking at his phone. He looks like he only got home a few minutes ago, not much earlier than you. He looks up at you, going to say hello, but you just rush over and kiss him. Hard. You close your eyes, and you feel him open his wider, his eyelashes brushing against your cheekbones. Pretty soon, his hands are on your face, and he's passionately kissing you right back. You lean into him, pressing a knee in between his legs, and he moans, low and deep, the rumbling of thunderous lust vibrating his skull. You bite his lip and pull back, letting go with a smirk. He sits there, confused but very turned on.

"What was that for?" He asks.

You shrug. "I had a really good day."

He smiles and kisses you. "Well, would you like to make it even better? I need something to wind down with…"

You grin, and say yes.

You wake up, your face smashed into the pillow and your arm around Tom's bare waist. You smile, and sigh in content. You lean over and go to kiss him, and the alarm goes off. You groan and reach over, smacking the top of it. Tom groans and covers his face with a pillow. You chuckle and lean over, kissing his forehead before walking to your suitcase and taking out your jersey you've been wearing since the beginning of the competition. You were going to have to wash it when you got home.

Tom sits up in bed and squints at you. His hair is sticking up all over the place, and he's looking at you confused. "What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed. I have a final to win," you respond with a joking smile. His eyes widen and he starts getting out of bed. "What are you doing?"

He rushes over to his suitcase and starts going through it, trying to find something clean that he can wear. "Well, I don't have work today, so I'm going to join you!"

Your eyes widen. "Really?" You grin and Tom leans over, kissing you.

"Really. I wouldn't miss it for the world," he says. You kiss him again.

"Thank you."

You collect everything you need, and wait by the door for Tom. You hand him your backpack. He raises an eyebrow. "Why are you giving me this?"

"I need someone to hold it. I can't cover my jersey!" You turn around with a goofy smile and point at the back of your jersey. It says [L/N] on the top, and in the middle in big white text, it has 42 in the middle. You look over your shoulder and see Tom laughing at you. He has the backpack slung over his shoulder.

You reach out with your hand and he grabs it, squeezes it. You squeeze back.

The walk to the convention center is pretty uneventful. Only two people stop you, and they just want a picture with you. Now it's Tom who's taking the picture. It's usually reversed. You tease him about it when you walk through the metal detectors.

You know Tom's been to Comic-Con, multiple times, but this is different. There aren't a million people all crowding around you, making it impossible for a celebrity to walk. There were maybe three hundred people at most at the entire event at one time. Most were in the main hall watching everyone warm up.

You take Tom around back and say hi to your teammates, introducing them to Tom for the first time.

He watches in the wings while you warm up.

Looking over at Tom from your seat, your heart clenches in glee, at him standing there, watching you with a smile. You win all your practice rounds. You walk over to Tom and he gives you a kiss and a congratulations. Everyone 'Aw's around you.

Until you go on stage, fight the final fight, you have three hours. Jax offers to take everyone out to food, but you and Tom say you're not hungry.

You end up splitting off from the group and walking the floor for a few hours. A few more people ask for pictures, but other than that, nothing really happens. You show Tom some artwork, and he even buys a couple himself. You tell him if you got one already so you don't buy two of the same. You have to leave extras for everyone else.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and you turn around, switching the hand that's holding Tom's when he turns around as well. It's a woman, not much shorter than you, who's holding out her phone. She looks shy, like she can't quite say what she wants.

"Do you want a picture?" You ask. She nods.

Tom takes the phone and starts walking away, but she stops him. "W-wait!" She exclaims. "Can I get a picture with the two of you?"

Tom looks genuinely shocked, but nods anyway. He sidles up next to you and all of you smile, though her more awkwardly, and he takes the picture. Handing the phone back to her she says, "Thank you. My-my girlfriend and I have been big fans of yours [Y/N] for a really long time, and when we found out you were with Tom well… we binged all your movies and became instant fans." She says this sheepishly, and Tom offers her a consoling smile. "And your story inspired us. We came out to our parents." She looks away and you smile sadly at her. "It went well actually." Your smile turns into one of relief. "We were able to come out because of your story. Because of you, we're able to be open and out."

You look at her, you feel the telltale pinpricks of years forming in the corners of your eyes, and you grab Tom's hand.

"Thank you," you say quietly.

She nods and smiles, before turning around and walking away. You see her go to someone off to the side and whisper in her ear, before kissing her on the cheek. She looks even shyer than the woman who came up to you.

Tom kisses you on the cheek, and you smile, turning your face to kiss him. You walk back to the main stage hand in hand.

The hour up to the final fight has you shaking, and Tom has to sit you down to comfort you. He grabs your hand and says to you, "You'll do amazing."

You nod and kiss him once. You get up and join your team at the entrance. Jax takes your hand and squeezes. You squeeze back before letting go. You look behind you and Tom is there, smiling.

Everything happens in snapshots, the getting up, the hand, the looking behind. It's like you can only see the world in so many ways, like every time you blink, you take another picture. You hear your name being called. You walk out with your team. You wave at all of the attendees. The lights are bright, so bright you can't see them. You wave anyways. You stand with your team in front of your computers and look at the other team. Cloud nine, one of the best in the world. Obviously. They were here. You give each other a nod, some smile some don't, you don't, and you walk behind the desk. You sit down in your chair, look at your teammates, and put on your headphones.

The games are a blur. You don't know if you're winning or losing. You think you see more blue than orange.

You look up at the scores. Tied. Last game. You sigh and turn back to your computer. As you're thrust into the game, you realize you're on defense. Looking up at the score on your computer, it's tied there as well. Sudden death. You feel your arms shaking as you put up fortification after fortification. You grab some armor and hunker down by one of the windows. A bullet goes over your head. The parts of the window fall around you. You pop up and fire off a shot blindly. Headshot. You hear the crowd go wild but you don't think about it. You just keep playing.

Jax downs someone. Interrogates him. Kills him. Jax is killed. Stephanie kills them. Everything's happening so fast you almost don't notice the two rouge fighters entering the room. You dive behind the table as they light up where you just were with bullets. You pop your head up and fire off a few shots. One manages to hit, but he gets out of the way before more damage can be done. You shout off calls, who's where and who's vulnerable. You see Harry and Stephanie coming around the back. You pop out, they shoot, and you manage to only get hit a few times before the pop back down to reload. You walk around and start shooting at them. You down one and hurt the other. You get downed as well. They go to kill you, but the one who's up gets headshotted, his brains and blood splattering over you. The one who's downed is also killed, and Stephanie runs over to you, helping you up. You get up, and she goes down. Looking over you see the window, and by the time you turn back around, she's dead. You quickly run out of the way and to the window, waiting for the guy to shoot again. Jax breaches the window and you step back, watching it explode in front of you. Going back to the window you crouch down below it, popping up to look and see where he is. Jax does the same and gets a bullet in the skull. You take that time to shoot.

Headshot.

Everyone around you jumps up in their chairs as you see the familiar blue text in front of you.

Blue Wins

You sit there shocked as everyone around you starts hugging you. You stand up slowly, in shock, hugging the rest of your team back. There's screaming all around you, but you hear over all of it;

"UK CONTROL IS YOUR WORLD CHAMPION!"

You're handed a trophy, and you grin as your picture is taken. You look off to the side and see Tom standing there, cheering and clapping louder than everyone else in the room. You're ushered off stage and you hand the trophy over to Jax before running and jumping into Tom's open arms, kissing him.

"I'm so proud of you," he says quietly over the screaming from the other room. You kiss him.

This is the best day of your life.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x male!reader #spiderman #spiderman imagines #smh #peter parker #peter parker x reader #my work #My writing

401 notes · View notes

signoraviolettavalery · 5 years ago

Note

I’m new to the Roswell New Mexico fandom and I have noticed people,you, don’t really like the creator Carina and I was wondering why.

Ooooh boy. Would you like those answers in alphabetical order, chronological order, order of egregiousness, or order of how much they piss me off?

I have a lot of issues with Carina, as do a lot of other people. Obviously, not everyone agrees with me, and some of my answers may be controversial (they’re the subject of biiiig debates in fandom). I have no intention of re-opening those debates, so what I write below is a summary of my opinions (many of which I know are shared by at least some others in fandom) for the purposes of answering your question. I’m also putting it all under a cut, because it’s a lot of negativity that some people may want to skip.

I mention a lot of tweets and interviews in the answer below; I, frankly, don’t want to go searching for and linking to each interview and tweet (and also, Carina has me blocked, for reasons I’ll get into), but everything below has a source that I can find if you super want to read it yourself.

So, here goes.

Firstly, Carina pisses me off because she is a white, straight woman who is writing about oppressed and marginalized minorities and, quite frankly, doing a bad job of it. She brags constantly about how progressive her show is, how much she wanted to include people of color and comment on things like immigration, how important the Malex storyline is to her, etc, etc, but doesn’t seem to be capable of (or care about) the delicacy, nuance, and care such issues require.

In a panel she did on Roswell (at ATX or NYCC, I think?) she talked about how she had qualms writing about marginalized people from identities she didn’t belong to; she said she was plagued by the question of “should I even be doing this?” Which she then immediately answered with, “but we’re doing it!” and that was that, and that seemed to me to be such a flippant way to answer the question. Like, you’re writing about people whose experiences you don’t share and your response isn’t “I’m going to do research and talk to people,” it’s “eh, I”m doing it anyway”?

Then there’s the fact that when it comes to representation, Roswell has done a really really shitty job, engaged in harmful tropes, and thrown its characters of color under the bus. Carina insists that she consults with a lot of advocacy groups when writing about the experiences of undocumented immigrants and Latina characters, and yet. Liz simply forgives Max in the span of two episodes, even though he covered up her sister’s murder and was responsible for subjecting her family to racially-motivated hate crimes for a decade. Max, a white man, at no point acknowledges his privilege; he just pouts and whines when she rejects him until the Latina who was fucked over by his use of privilege just...forgives him. It is, in my opinion, incredibly indelicate and kind of insulting. She made the south Asian man (the only Asian character on the show, in fact) the borderline pedophile serial killer who violated Isobel for years, was creepily grooming both Isobel and Rosa, and murdered a bunch of women. She made the only black woman on the show (Maria) the plot device for an entire season: Maria had no storyline. She was there to give information to Liz when Liz was solving Rosa’s murder. She hasn’t known about the aliens all season and was thus excluded from the major show narratives. Her one defining character trait (her loyalty to her friends) was completely thrown away in order to make her a plot device for Malex (because let’s face it, Miluca won’t last and Malex will get back together). Narratively, she was thrown under the bus.

And then there’s the queer representation, which...don’t get me started. She keeps talking about how much she loves Malex and how they’re her favorites, but she’s also very explicitly said that she finds happy relationships boring and that she uses fiction to work out her own trauma, which means that she’s essentially likely going to put the only same-sex ship on the show through an interminable amount of tragedy (because that’s what queer viewers absolutely need in this day and age).

Plus, the idea of a straight woman using a fictional same-sex relationship to work out her own issue makes me really, really uncomfortable, because she’s made it clear that she fundamentally doesn’t understand the queer experience. She says she consults with advocacy groups when she’s writing queer characters (she won’t actually name these LGBT advocacy groups, which doesn’t make me sideye her at all), but I have doubts about whether she listens to them. I mean, she said, after the season 1 finale aired, that Michael going to Maria has nothing to do with her being a woman, even though she also explicitly said Michael wants something “easy,” and a same-sex relationship in Roswell, as it’s presented in canon, can never be easy. Roswell is canonically a homophobic, bigoted town, and Malex’s trauma stems largely from homophobia. Their relationship issues stem (not entirely, but largely) from them being the victims of homophobic abuse and a homophobic hate crime. Being with Maria means Michael never has to worry about any of those things, and the fact that Carina doesn’t seem to conceive of this is mind-boggling to me.

Then there’s the fact that Maria...basically outed Michael to Liz, and this doesn’t seem to be a problem. Of course, maybe they’ll address it in season 2, I don’t know. But, Carina basically wrote a woman who has been best friends with a gay guy for more than a decade as casually outing someone (when she tells Liz that Michael is Museum Guy). The fact that this is a problem doesn’t seem to cross her mind for a second when she tells Liz, even though this is information Michael has never told her himself and they’ve known each other for a decade. It’s not something Carina’s ever mentioned in the numerous post-finale interviews she did. And frankly, it doesn’t matter who Maria outed Michael to; the fact that she’s capable of it when best friends with a gay guy in a town like Roswell, when Maria has been written as a loyal and understanding friend up to now, again suggests to me that Carina just does not comprehend the queer experience.

(Also, technically, all the Isobel/Rosa hints, then it turning out that actually Noah was possessing Isobel, screams queerbaiting to me)

And then there’s the mess that is the love triangle. I’m of the camp that things that it’s complete and utter bullshit that contributes to the stereotype of bisexual people as promiscuous, though I know there’s people who think it’s good representation. It shows that she’s more interested in her particular (and frankly, kind of esoteric) storytelling preferences more than she cares about representation or continuity. The love triangle is, frankly, really badly written, and nothing about Maria developing “feelings” for Michael (or him for her, honestly) is in any way believable. Maria getting with Michael behind Alex’s back requires throwing out Maria’s only character trait (her loyalty and commitment to being a good friend). But Carina ~has~ to have her love triangle, characterization or continuity be damned.

Speaking of storytelling, Carina is kind of...a bad writer. Look, I love the characters on Roswell, and I love the world she created, and it had some truly beautiful moments. But let’s just admit the season 1 plot was a mess. There were so many plot holes. Who knows what? Does Alex know Liz knows about aliens and vice versa? Does Alex know about Rosa, or just about aliens? Why did they spend episode 9 establishing that Alex is taking over project Sheppard to find the alien serial killer, only to have him be missing from the episode (1x11) where they find the alien serial killer? Does Alex know that it’s Noah? If Michael’s hand got broken right before he went to cover up Rosa’s murder, why did Liz think it couldn’t have been Michael “because his hand was broken then”? If Isobel is an event planner (a busy and demanding job) how did they manage to cover up her being missing for so many weeks? If Malex went straight from the museum to the toolshed, when did Alex have time to tell Maria about Museum Guy? What is Alex’s rank? (it changes from the pilot to the show). I could go on. Like, I just don’t have a lot of trust in the narrative going forward, in character and emotional continuity, in a fulfilling story for the characters I love, given that Carina seems to have a basic inability to so much as google (”my entropy changes”? that makes no sense), let alone write a story that makes sense.

Part of the reason she’s not a very good writer, though, is because she doesn’t seem to like criticism. She insists she listens to it from people who matter and whose judgment she trusts, but, um, the mess that is the narrative suggests otherwise to me. The fact that she wrote in the love triangle suggests otherwise; it screams to me that it’s something she just had to have, regardless of whether it made narrative sense. She also literally blocks fans on Twitter who give her any kind of criticism. I don’t mean hate and vitriol, I mean criticism. She complains about how she, a public figure, a showrunner with a show that has millions of viewers, wants to log in to twitter and only see positive things and have fun interactions with friends. And I get it, criticism can be exhausting. But her job is literally to bring viewers to the CW. It is to tell a good story, and, if she wants to be as woke and progressive as she insists she is, it is to listen to different people - including fans. If she wants to shoot the shit with friends on Twitter, maybe she should get a private account. But I personally believe that she can’t use queer and marginalized characters to work out her own trauma, with no understanding of those people’s experiences, and then demand that people only ever praise her for it. It reminds me of the debate about criticism in fic comments, actually: some fic writers don’t want any negative comments. Which is fine if you’re writing fic for fun. Carina’s a professional writer with a TV show, who is getting paid. Insulating herself from literally any and all objections from the audience she’s writing for is, in my opinion, stupid, and also incredibly self-centered if she’s writing about people who’s experiences she doesn’t share.

Honorable mentions, probably not worth getting into:

She has like, a really creepy crush on Michael Vlamis, and even though she’s technically his boss, she’s constantly basically...thirsting over him on Twitter and Instagram in very uncomfortable ways

Max’s little speech to Michael in 1x11 about how he felt “everything,” every part of the abuse Michael suffered, and how guilty he felt about it, was just absolutely horrifying and tone deaf. Max, a character with great privilege, basically making all of Michael’s abuse about himself and how guilty it made him feel and acting like he can in any way share or understand Michael’s experience was just in every way gross, but clearly intended to make Max ~compelling~ and get the brothers to start talking and become closer and it just again shows a complete misunderstanding of the experiences of people less fortunate than her.

Which, in short, all means that I have absolutely zero faith in Season 2. I’m not in the least bit excited for it. I think she’ll completely let us down, and I expect a lot more of the same tone-deafness and lack of nuance in relation to complex issues and marginalized characters. I think she’ll put us through the wringer, emotionally, for the sake of writing angst rather than telling a good story.

Anyway, hope that answered your question, anon.

#carina adly mackenzie #ask #roswell new mexico #negativity #roswell negativity #roswell wank #Anonymous

16 notes · View notes

livin-in-mementos · 5 years ago

Text

After Some Time (...and a break or two)

Ugh... okay, its here. The big one. Let me preface this by saying I wont be doing a count by count story of what happened, it’s too many hour and headaches that I don’t need to be fair. But I said I’d get to it... and boy howdy has it been swirling in my head since.

The Slazo Situation Revisited

So small backstory for those who haven’t boarded this crazy train of bullshit and migraines, this story is about a fairly large commentary youtuber by the name of Slazo (Or Micheal) who was caught in a controversy when his ‘Ex-Girlfriend’ exposed him in a Twitlonger for being a manipulative, sexual harasser. DM’s and screenshots of chat logs were shown and it made Slazo look pretty scummy. A few days later Slazo releases his defence video outlining the parts that were true and a lot of points that were fabricated to make him look evil in the eyes of the internet, with added proof and conveniently missing parts of his exes proof that would have exonerated him on the spot in the eyes of the internet courtroom. For opinions sake, yes I do think Slazo is innocent of the more damning accusations that were put against him, no I do not think he was 100% innocent. Of what he was guilty of? maybe being a pretty shitty boyfriend.... though at the age of 15-16... its slap on the back of the head material... not cancellation worthy.

Slazo was pretty much cleared of it all and everybody went on with their day... heck it shouldn’t even be called the Slazo situation, because while his name was brought up a lot, he wasn’t really all that key to what happened next...

Commentary youtubers from all corners of the internet had an opinion on what Slazo had done and how guilty he was (again, I will not be doing a play by play of every accusation) which boiled down to two camps

1. “Slazo is guilty and here is why... Oh and have a bunch of off-cuff situations I witnessed where Slazo was really creepy that I only just now remember and want to bring up.”

2. “Lotta commentary youtubers being liars, snakes or hypocrites up in here.”

Which in turn brought two youtubers under the microscope themselves, ImAlexx and Hyojin.

Alex first as it’s easier and is the least weird of the two. Alex jumped on the Slazo hate bandwagon pretty quickly and started accusing Slazo of a bunch of things that couldn’t easily be proven, while also completely backing up the story that Chey (the ex) has given in her Twitlonger, despite the fact it had been blown open with so many holes that not even a brain dead goldfish could find logic in it. Alex would later admit he had a part in writing the Twitlonger, as did many other prominent commentary youtubers and friends,outing the Twitlonger as more of a team effort rather than just Chey writing it herself.

After this Alex was accused of a bunch of stuff himself including being a social climber to get more popular since he was a pretty good friend to Slazo before all of this happened, as well as a snake since he supported Chey and the Twitlonger until it was criticised as untrue.... and Alex said the same to cover for himself.

To this day there hasn’t been a clear end point to this, Alex has tried to brush away from it all and has taken the bumps of being called controversial, hoping for it to all die down eventually. (While writing this Alex appeared on the Happy Hour Podcast to give a rundown of the situation to the hosts who admitted they knew nothing of the situation. What’s worse Alex seems to have glazed over many of his own wrongdoings that only escalated the drama further.) Opinion? To be honest, I don’t know... Alex obviously tried to ride the controversy to boost himself, that much is sure, yet when it came back to bite him he tried to hide and wait for it to blow over. It’s sad, It IS snakeworthy and since a proper apology hasn’t been issued... it’s not a good look for him at all.

Hyojin to me was the worst of the two to me. While she didn’t say as much publicly, it was was was happening behind the scenes that just frustrated me.

(Be aware, if you like Hyojin and think she can do no wrong, DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT. A lot of hot-takes will be thrown out there and a lot of criticism will be put out there too. I WILL be talking about the aftermath at length which is where the support poured in for Hyojin. I will being ripping that apart just as much, if not more for the bullshit that it was.)

Hyojin sucks, and I mean she really sucks. A lot of what was thrown out about Slazo in the Twitlonger allegedly was orchestrated and was the idea of Hyojin herself, taking what Chey was saying and embellishing it with the rest of their friend group. It’s alleged however and won’t be part of the criticism thrown at her.

While the incident was being investigated, Hyojin was too, including her colourful hot takes on Slazo and how creepy he was. Hyojin would never publicly call out Slazo since at the time, anybody who did was getting rinsed by the internet very quickly. So instead she hid on her discord and talked in DM’s about destroying Slazo’s career so he would never recover and deleting messages that challenged how Chey publicly omitted any evidence that made Slazo look like less of a monster. Shady.

During the internet investigations, it was discovered that Hyojin had an old art Twitter where her fictional character was drawn fucking her friends in several positions. The problem was, several of these friends were underage and despite her defence that none of these friends minded.... it was still there for public viewing as was still wrong. One instance even had another youtuber by the name of Kavos in one of these pictures even though he was never asked, nor gave his permission. The irony of all this being that much of what Hyojin criticised Slazo for, she was guilty of herself. Creepy.

Here’s where it gets controversial... probably more for me. Dog dropping rumours aside. (trust me, it was stupid)

Hyojin was getting major flak for everything that was found out about her and it seemed to get too much for her, which is understandable. Her response to all of this was a tweet telling everyone she was going to kill herself. The public response actually became something that confused me, because in the blink of an eye everyone retracted their criticisms and gave out well wishes instead. To make the trend even more sympathetic the youtubers involved in writing the Twitlonger started urging people to give her space and lay off on the nasty comments.

I for one, did not care. Heartless of me? Maybe. But it was all backed up by reasoning. Here was a girl ready to throw the life of a person under the bus for being a slightly shitty boyfriend and lying to make it sound worse. Helping to write up a statement that grossly exaggerated things to such a degree that Slazo was the most hated person on the internet and was blasted by everyone left, right and centre. After he proved to everyone he wasn’t like that, the attention turned on Chey and the friends that helped her and when their dirty laundry was put out there and they were being criticised.... now it was unacceptable? Now it was too much?

YOU TRIED TO OUT A GUY FOR BEING A SEX PEST! Shit that will follow him for life. But people calling out racist remarks you made? the underage porn you had drawn? The toxic behaviour you exhibited to anyone who questioned you?

....yeah that was too much and the line had to be drawn right?

But hey, it’s okay, you can just back to twitter the second the drama blows over and everything is all good now right?

Now this is where I direct it to the people who think that Hyojin is infallible, that she can do no wrong. She messed up bad, real bad. If anything she’s the true villain behind all of this and it’s shocking the lengths people were going to just to defend her. If every racist, abuser or sex pest threatened their life to be let off, this world would be screwed, but the second a darling Tumblr artist with links to popular youtubers does it, it’s a crime to list the irony that she attempted to cancel a guy with far worse repercussions that would lead to life long damage.

The worst part of all of this was that an apology would have cleared all of this. They knew they were wrong but an apology was impossible for them, so instead it’s made bigger, uglier and dirty laundry is shown. If anything, I’m happy it got to where it did since it showed the ugly side of Hyojin for everyone to see. So my opinion of Hyojin?

Fuck Hyojin.

#hyojin #slazo #Drama #offmychest #slazo drama

37 notes · View notes

honestlyconkus · 6 years ago

Note

connor and markus having to deal with the media desperately trying to figure out if theyre a thing or not? love everything you write!

Conkus breaks the internet? HELL YEAH

Ring

On the 3rd ring Markus reached for his phone, groggy fingers grabbing the thin plastic device. His vision was still blurry from sleep. A digital clock glowed brightly and said 8:23am. It was a saturday.

“Hello?”

“MARKUS! OH MY GOD GET ON IRIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. MARKUS CAN YOU HEAR ME? MARKUS-“

At North’s screeching tones Markus pulled the phone a foot from his ear so she wouldn’t break his eardrums. She was still screaming at him from the speaker after a minute, her voice occasionally going static because she was speaking so loudly and quickly. When there was a break in her sentences that’s when he’d intercept.

North took a quick pause and Markus latched onto the silence. “Number 1, slow down. Number 2, why are you calling me so early again? Number 3, why do you want me online-”

“HAVE YOU BEEN READING THE NEWS YOU OLD FUCK, THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU! AND CONNOR.”

At Connor’s name his heart dropped, ice pooling at his chest. Shit. “Connor? What about him?”

“THEY SAID YOU GUYS ARE DATING. SO GET ON IRIS RIGHT NOW AND SET THIS ONE STRAIGHT WITH YOUR FRIENDS.”

“Uhm.”

“DON’T uhm ME YOU SLUT JUST FUCKING TALK TO US,” suddenly North gasped, her voice considerably dropping in pitch and in volume. “Unless Connor is sitting there right beside you, naked?!”

Actually, Connor was in his kitchen cooking him breakfast. He could smell the greasy scent of bacon and faintly hear Connor humming a tune. There were soft noises of kitchenware being moved around.

Markus figured Connor would take awhile, so he decided to go along with it. He’s also pretty sure North would have a heart attack if he didn’t answer at least one of her questions. “No no, he’s not here with me. Fine I’ll get on, just gimme a second.”

He hung up on North and walked to his desk, where it had a computer screen, a small LED bar meant for holograms, and a touchscreen surface for his keyboard. He logged in and clicked on IRIS, which was a video call service meant to talk to people over long distances. The camera took in a person’s image and turned them into 3D holograms, projected onto a patron’s LED. Markus gave them a call and watched as North, Simon and Josh manifested in holographic forms before him.

He could faintly see the walls and decorations of their bedroom. North’s hair was up in a towel, and she wore a fluffy white bathrobe. She seemed to be sitting in Simon’s lap, who was yawning quietly and resting his head against her chest, blond hair a messy bedhead. Josh was sitting from the bed, and Markus could barely see him wearing sweats and a tshirt, slightly smaller than the other 2. He was farther away.

“MARKUS!” Hologram North said, immediately pointing an accusatory finger at him. He moved back when the particles moved towards him, really feeling as if she were standing right in front of him.

“IS IT TRUE? ARE YOU AND CONNOR ANDERSON DATING? IF SO WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US.”

“And why aren’t you wearing a shirt,” Simon whined, eyeing Markus’ body up and down appreciatively. “You know it’s not fair to us, looking so hot all the time. You’re ruining my self esteem.”

Markus raised a hand, a small smile on his lips. “North, stop yelling. I’ll answer your questions when you stop giving me the Look. Also, where are these accusations even coming from? Simon, baby, you are quite literally a model. A Calvin Klein model at that, you don’t need to compare me to you to know that you’re just as hot, maybe even more so.”

Simon blushed and turned his face into North’s robe, who rolled her eyes but patted him on the back. “He’s right Simon stop saying dumb shit about yourself. And stop flirting with Markus, he has a boyfriend now, apparently.” She crossed her arms and glared at him through her webcam.

The likeness of her and her holographic form were uncanny.

“The rumours started when paps found a photo of you taken by someone, and they dropped a name,” Josh intervened, coming closer to view. He gently pushed North and Simon away and began sending him articles, links. “It began to escalate when people saw the articles and started tweeting them at you. I believe this all happened in a duration of 3 days. Did you really not know about this?”

Markus clicked on the messaging system and frowned when links upon links were sent to him. Mainly on blogs, articles, small funky websites. A lot of tweets too, entire threads about Markus and this mystery man. He’s surprised even news coverage was conducted.

Titles included, Who Is This Mystery Man?, Is Markus Manfred Single?, Markus Manfred: Dating?!, Mystery Man with Famous Detroit Painter, Markus Manfred! The list went on and on, each title only a slight variation to the other, and many sharing the same grainy photo; Markus and a man sitting together at a coffee shop, his face obscured by his baseball hat. The coverage was immense, certain sites trying to zoom in on the photo to try to decipher the mystery person. The name Connor Anderson repeatedly popped up, presumably the name the photographer fed sources.

He shook his head, sighing. “No. I was working on a painting the last few days. You know my rules when I paint; no social media until my main idea is done.”

Josh pushed the black wire-rimmed glasses up, his finger rubbing gently across his nose. “Well, it’s gotten big enough people are speculating what it possibly means, who this supposed “connor anderson” is, if he’s even the real connor, etc etc. People are even appearing on North and Simon’s lives and asking if we knew anything.”

“Which we didn’t,” North said, glaring angrily. If her eyes could light someone on fire Markus would be scorched. “Enlighten us, then.”

“Were you guys gonna tell us before the media found out or? Because honestly I feel like I’ve just been betrayed by my own mother. Which I have, by the way, when she ate my pint of strawberry ice cream back in 4th grade but that’s not the point. I mean, how could you do this to us, and more importantly to me?” She turned her nose up in the air and gestured to him, giving him an opening.

Markus opened his mouth then closed it, thinking about how to word the situation properly. He felt bad, he really did. His reasoning was because he didn’t want his friends involved and to end up being dragged along the wrong side of the screen; too many people have tried to do that to Markus already and he hated it.

His life was open to criticism, but he’d be damned if he let the people he loved get in the mix of it too.

“Okay, fine, Connor and I have been dating for quite some time now. Since… June 4th, I think?”

North let out a scream, which prompted Simon to scoot back so she could stand up and glare into the camera. Suddenly Connor entered the room, smiling wide and holding a tray of their breakfast. He set it down on a nearby table and walked closer.

“Good morning Markus- oh! Is that North? Hello North! It’s me Connor.”

From Jericho’s point of view, Connor’s holographic figure was small and dim due to the distance from the camera. When he came into view, hand wrapping around Markus’ neck and waving adorably at them, they all noticed 3 things.

Connor wearing one of Markus’ button downs- visibly buttoned wrong, wrinkled, and nothing else beneath

The small bruises, red and purple, peeking out of his white collar when he leaned forward.

Markus soft smile as Connor walked up to introduce himself, blue and green eyes looking absolutely smitten.

North continued screaming, standing up and walking out of the room for a moment. Connor watched as her little figure disappeared, concern knitted into his eyebrows. Her voice was merely an echo after a few seconds.

“Is she alright?”

The jericho boys nodded, Simon leaning forward, hand on his desk and chin on his hand, smiling. “She’ll be back, she just needs to let off some steam. But wow, congratulations you guys! I didn’t know you were dating.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry about that,” Connor said, taking his seat onto Markus’ lap. “We didn’t want it to become a big deal, and because he has the Manfred name putting this out public so early would’ve been a headache to him and the police department.”

“So we decided to give it a try secretly,” Markus continued. One hand reached beneath Connor’s shirt and gently drew circles with his fingers along the hips. His other hand rested against Connor’s thighs, also covered in marks. “See if we could, you know, make it work.”

“It looks like it did.” Josh winked, staring pointedly at the marks covering Connor’s body. Connor blushed and stood up, looking for a pair of joggers to present himself better. When he left North came back, towel gone and her hair brushed down. She was still wearing her robe, considerably less ruffled but still pissed.

“So what are we going to do?” North asked, sitting back onto Simon’s lap. Her voice was surprisingly clear despite screeching from the depths of her soul a minute ago. “The media is already trying to make this much more fucked up than it should be.”

Markus rolled his eyes. He’d heard the same things over and over again, always accusing him of plagiarism or thinking he’s up to a scandal, like his half brother Leo. They’re always trying to drag his name to the ground but he’d grown thick skin and it doesn’t bother him as much. “It’s fine. I don’t care what they think of me.”

“But what about Connor?” North pushed Josh to the side and began hunting for the harsher articles, the ones intent on tearing her best friend down.

“What about me?” Connor came back into view wearing Markus’ sweats and sat back down onto his boyfriend’s lap, sitting up straight and smiling curiously at North. She smiled back and blew his holographic figure a kiss.

“Hey baby. I’m still mad at you for not telling me anything, but I promise I won’t rip your fingers off when we meet next time. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Anyway,” She went back on her hunt, ignoring the stunned looks on everyone’s faces between their exchange. “I think the media figured out Markus wouldn’t give 2 shits, so they’ve decided to target Connor instead. They’re accusing him of his integrity, thinking he’s being sold out to Markus so Markus could hide his supposed scandals, maybe Connor is sleeping his way through the department to get a promotion, etc etc.”

She sent over the links to the articles, watching as Markus’ face grew tighter and tighter. Blue and green eyes were lit with a raging fury as the media attempt to get under his skin by attacking the one he loved. They went so far in the reach they even tried to link the two’s relationship with Connor’s father, Hank. Asking if his slump a few years back had anything to do with Connor being “bought” to succession in the precinct. It almost worked, until Connor leaned back to press his weight against Markus’ chest, reminding him he’s here.

He turned and gave Markus a quick kiss to the jaw, waiting until the beating heart he could feel slowed.

Connor wanted to laugh at the titles. Is Markus Manfred Hiding A Scandal?, Markus Manfred, Paying Detective Hush Money!, Detective Anderson A Sell Out!, Scandal In The DPD!

“Where these really all they could come up with?” Connor asked, clicking through, unbothered. “You’d think they went to school for this.”

“You’re not upset?” Markus asked, looking down at his lover. “You’re not mad about how the people will perceive you?”

“Of course I’m mad.” Connor said, rolling his eyes and jostling him with his elbow. “I’m mad that they’re attacking me for illogical reasons, trying to start something they don’t properly understand. The fact that no media outlets have reached out to us is ridiculous and embarrassing on their part. I’m mad they can’t even do their research correctly. I’m mad that this will hinder my future investigations, because detectives at the DPD still don’t like me and will do whatever it takes to tear a rookie like me down.”

Markus’ guilt grew at each passing sentence, feeling more and more to blame at getting Connor caught up in this, until Connor’s voice grew strong and he gave Markus a pointed look.

“I’m especially mad that they think they can get away with attacking my lover like this. They will regret doing this.”

Markus smiled, leaning down for a kiss. The crowd before them held a mixture of boos, cheers, and groans. In order: North, Simon, and Josh. Connor reciprocated by kissing him back, a simple kiss because of the audience.

He grew more bold when there weren’t people looking.

“So what do you want to do?” Josh asked, staring at the couple. “The easiest way to dispel the rumours from escalating is clearing anything up as soon as possible. A statement should suffice.” He was tapping rapidly on his keyboard, already looking at analytics for their social media profiles.

“You need to make it public,” Simon added, nodding in agreement. He began to list off ways they could make it happen. “Markus has a platform; Connor can come to us if he wants to say anything to the internet.”

“Whatever happens, we’re here for you Markus.” North concluded, nodding resolutely at her best friend. The rest of them agreed.

Markus felt his heart swell with pride and fierce love for his friends, the people he’d begun to consider family almost a year ago. He looked down at his boyfriend, who was also staring back at him, waiting for a response.

“What do you think Connor?”

Connor shrugged, sitting back comfortably into his lover’s warmth. “It’s up to you Markus. You’re the one with the social media accounts; it’d also make more sense for the public to hear it from you first. Like I said, their words don’t bother me like you imagined they would, but I think going public with our relationship would be a good idea. It’ll create less headaches for the both of us in the future, and I don’t see anything going wrong in this scenario. We can clear up any confusion, confirm the relationship, and hope no one is still homophobic in the year 2040.”

“Are you sure you want this?” Markus asked, brushing a thumb across the back of Connor’s palm. He stared in thought as Connor flipped his hand over, playing with Markus’ fingers until he intertwined their hands together. “It won’t be the same afterwards.”

“Are you kidding me?” Connor craned his neck to the right, looking up. His eyebrows were scrunched in disbelief. “I’ve been wanting to tell the world you were my boyfriend for months. Of course I want this.”

Everyone laughed at Markus’ perplexed expression, Connor grinning mischievously. He reached up and pulled Markus down for another kiss, this one slow and deliberate, tongues out, making the crowd whistle and cat call at their raunchiness. North had to clear her throat when she saw Connor arch his back, which only meant Markus’ hands had gone to discreet places.

“Alright you whores, it’s settled.” She smiled, crossing her arms across her chest. The couple broke apart and sat up, attentive. “We’ll start our plan of attack against those journalist goons with Markus. Beginning with his Instagram. Once you confirm with a cute photo of the 2 of you (keep it PG), Simon and I will also confirm anything on our lives.”

“Josh will handle twitter; just tweet out whatever the people want to hear, maybe do a Q&A or something, thread here and there.”

“Could I use my snapchat?” Connor offered, waving his phone in the air. North’s eyebrows rose in surprise and she chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. They hadn’t even known Connor had social media.

“You know, Connor, sometimes you really surprise me.”

“We’ll keep doing this until someone wants to interview us, I presume?” Markus asked, glancing between Jericho and Connor. They all nod and he relaxed against the chair, pacified.

“Huh.” Everyone held their breath, expectant.

There was a flash of white as Markus unlocked his phone, scrolling through his gallery for photos.

“Let’s do it.”

am I starting another series? I’m starting another series ;)

conkus breaks the internet

asks still open!! I’m trying to get as many as I can so that when college starts I can just post those and stay active for yall lol

653 notes · View notes

notailtheories · 6 years ago

Text

NotailsAndMore Tweet Compilation 2

Last Compilation | Next Compilation

This section will contain the tweets that I consider make up Act 2. Because they are not actually from O-1, you could also consider them an intermission... But they still hold important information either way. OwO

This batch of tweets began a little over an hour after the last round stopped... Which isn’t a very long pause. You can most easily tell the difference because this person’s face is “TvT” rather than “=)”, if you’re looking to track these from the Twitter itself... OwO

98 |

I passed out and I wake up to me being logged into this creepy ass notail fact account. Fuck off who did this? TvT

Reply to 8, & 99 |

hate to be a stickler for details but you didn't say a fact just a question tho i *would* like to know some notail facts about my dark past :D

Holy fuck. Look if you know me O-2 sir I just want you to know I did not make this account or tweeped at you, I just woke up to this. Who tweeps shit like this at an O-class? TvT

100, reply, & 102, reply, 108, reply, & 112 |

X-7364 if this was you and some of your shitty experiments I WILL strangle all of your dirty rats. These O classes could order my death for no reason. You even used my actual email to do this. They could figure out who I am! TvT

Your buddy even said "fuck you" to me. Now that guy's got some real claws. >:3

I am so sorry O-6 sir. I had nothing to do with this but I will still apologize. Please forgive me, I'm ok if you don't forgive my friend and kill him though. TvT

Grovelling ain't pretty, you know. But hey, you ain't done anything, right? Maybe I'll let you go. >:3

You would be most kind if you let me go for words that were not my own. Thank you. TvT

I'll think about it. >:3

Thank you. That is all I ask, and all I am allowed to ask. TvT

Reply to 98, 101, reply, 109, reply, 113, reply, 114, reply, & 115, reply, 118, reply, 119, reply, 120, reply, 122, reply, 124, reply, 125, reply, & 126 |

lol u rly had me worried there sweetie :3 im still curious abt this whole thing if u want 2 help me find out abt it :3

I didn't write any of this! This has to be an X class prank. "Ha Ha, make your friend pass out, make an account with their email and possibly kill them by telling O-6 that you love them. So funny!" TvT

lmao u creeped out like every single o class tho i think thats kinda an achievement u should be proud of urself :3 whoever made this account was saying some really spooky stuff tho do u think it was just creepypasta or what :3

Please don't say I did it. I had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't contact the O classes, much less say such things to them, for they are most favorable to my survival. It was just some shitty prank. Some of the reactions are, strange, but that is no matter to me. TvT

watching u suck up 2 them is rly funny lol but kk babe i guess ill drop it :3 smh i thought this was something cool :3

I rather not relate "something cool" with angering the O classes but I understand. TvT

suckuuuuuuuup :3

I rather live a suck up than die for something I didn't do. TvT

how abt i give u smth else 2 suck on hot stuff :3

Look I don't even have a tweeper and I'm about to abandon this account and never touch it again. So my response to that is "um bye." TvT

i hate 2 see u leave but i love 2 watch u go :3

That's extremely holy and not ok. TvT

i hope ur not as disappointing in bed as ur friends failed arg was on tweeper :3

How could a notail raise so high to grace? TvT

u sure raise some things of mine baby :3

I would block you but I'm not going to be related to this account anymore, and if my friend logs back in I'm ok with him getting fucked over by your words. TvT

id prefer 4 u 2 to get fucked by me :3

Courtship between notails is not ok, but I suppose you know that. Just understand that "no." TvT

lol our society sux anyway i dont think its possible to pollute our gene pool more than its already fucked up babe :3

Ok well society gives me a roof over my head, food, and the time I got bit by a mallon I was experimenting on society fixed my arm before it rotted away. So we'll have to agree to disagree. TvT

lmao :3 the more u talk the more stupid and boring u seem :3

Says the notail who keeps going after clearly making me uncomfortable. But "sigh" I guess that's most people. TvT

ppl are funniest when theyre uncomfortable :3

Typical notail. You fit in just nicely. TvT

Original, 103, reply, & 105 |

@NotailsAndMore is it time for my 13 other facts?

Look it up yourself? Go read the Cosmosdex or something. I may be a K class but I'm not some fact machine. TvT

The what

Can you not look up basic and common terms? Geez look. http://cosmosdex.com/cosmosdex/ TvT

104, reply, & 107 |

X-7364 just walked in with coffee and called me a sleepy head. Said I passed out after intensely working on typing. Said I wouldn't respond to me when he had a question. He's lying, he knows he went overboard this time. TvT

You may want to improve your security. This could have ended very badly for you. :V

I will do what you recommended O-7 sir as you are most wise as all O classes are. I do have good security, I must have passed out so fast my computer didn't lock so my roommate and coworker decided to fuck with me. TvT

106, reply, 111, reply, & 117 |

I just checked the profile page to see if I could find some evidence of who did this. "i'm not sorry i told the truth when you didn't. no one deserves lies." The hell. If this is over lying about who ate the last pizza I'm going to be pissed. TvT

This went better for you than it could have mate, but I would recommend keeping closer guard over your belongings. Some of the other O-classes seem a bit agitated right now. uvu

Fully understood O-5, who kicks clockworks across the skies. I'll attempt to not pass out at my computer with my roommate around. TvT

The epithets aren't necessary mate. But maybe give your roommate a kick so they don't pull this again for good measure. uvu

I will make sure to give him a kick no matter how much he says he had nothing to do with this. Thank you for the advice O class. TvT

Original, & 110 |

@NotailsAndMore Once you figure out who did this, send me their ID number. Immediately. unu

I....think it's my roommate X-7364, but he's swearing the whole time this was going on I was working and refused to respond. I don't believe him but he sounds so serious about this. TvT

Reply to other party, & 116 |

Is there any way I can convince it to become a solid Yes? c:<

(Note: I won’t record this whole exchange because I don’t think it’s relevant... The context is O-8 is looking for who made this account. That’s all. OwO)

I know this is rude of me, and feel free to confirm this, but will you spare my roommate? He seems so honest in his pleads that he didn't do it.... He's the only one who could have done it, so it's him, but it seems like he regrets it deeply now. TvT

Original, 121, reply, 123, reply, & 127 |

I really am impressed by how many people they managed to unsettle in, what, an hour? uvu

Honestly as an X class he is naturally unsettling but I've never seen him act this badly. I wonder if I really ticked him off with the pizza thing. TvT

I've dealt with much worse than some X class...if it was just that then whatever...what does your friend know....OwO

I wish he would just admit it already. He said a few really odd things on this account and I have no idea where he's getting it from. Just. Fucking admit it X! Why is he being so rude to O classes you guys could KILL or BANISH us. TvT

It feels like something stranger is going on...OwO

It's just a stupid prank. A stupid prank that's now getting us basically evicted cause we can't stay here anymore. Stupid, stupid, prank. TvT

128, & 129 |

Ok this account is done. My roommate likely made this account as a laugh and somehow got the attention of the O classes. I'm sorry this happened even though I had nothing to do with it. I wish I could say my friend was sorry too but he's pissed off. TvT

Logging out, and never logging back in again. Yet again. Sorry for all the problems this account caused. Just unfollow this account. Bye. TvT

[ THIS ACCOUNT IS DEAD | Shitty prank by shitty roommate/friend who refuses to admit it | Will never be logging in ever again ]

Last Compilation | Next Compilation

#fortuna #cosmosdex #category: references #category: o1 #category: notailsandmore #category: twitter #mod OwO

1 note · View note

alarriefantasy · 7 years ago

Note

Hey! Was wondering if you could make more blogger larry fics?

Hi darling! I’ve got a few here, hopefully you find something you like!!! :) :)

Social Media Fic Rec

I don’t want a taste (I want it all) by thedaggerrose (blessedfetish)

Words: 3k

What Louis really needed was a fat fucking nap.

What Louis got instead was some hipster-looking wannabe arguing with him over the validity of avocado toast.

Or the AU where Harry tells Louis to go fuck himself, Louis tells Harry to fuck him himself, and Harry follows through.

let it happen by glowoftheday

Words: 4k

or the one where Harry and Louis meet on Grindr, and they might just be soulmates

Friend Request by phdmama

Words: 11k

Louis is bored on Facebook and in the “People you may know” suggestions, he sees the name Harry Styles. The profile picture doesn’t show the person. He thinks it’s an old family friend who he misses – maybe a middle-aged or elderly former neighbor or babysitter who he was fond of as a child - and sends a friend request. Turns out it’s not old man Harry from their old neighborhood, it’s hot young Harry (who he’s never met before) who accepts his friend request…“

nobody else has you down, but me by twinks

Words: 11k

Louis gets set up on a dating website. Harry is one of his 12 matches.

Thought The Song Was Sung by 100percentsassy

Words: 12k

Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry’s just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat… until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

This Play Between The Sheets by Harriet1dfan

Words: 15k

Or the totally gratuitous BDSM fic where Louis’ is a drama queen and gets far too excited to pay attention to who he’s texting.

A kiss to build a dream on by noellehenry

Words: 16k

Harry has a brief encounter with a handsome stranger at the local Christmas Fair, the romantic kiss they share changes everything.

Harry is determined to find his Prince Charming and sets up a tumblr blog with help from his best friend Niall, owner of the locally famous Steamin’ mugs.

Let the challenge begin!

Send My Love by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer

Words: 17k

Louis Tomlinson is fed up with dating losers. Harry Styles is tired of leaving his love life up to fate. Maybe one last try is just what they need to get it right.

Or, when online dating actually works.

kiss me on the mouth and set me free by suspendrs

Words: 17k

Or, Louis is a gamer and Harry is a beauty guru, and VidCon is a good place to fall in love.

Then We Talk Slow by letsjustsee

Words: 20k

A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets.

Anonymous Said by alivingfire

Words: 21k

Or: two boys, two blogs, two years of anonymous messages, and a bookshop where it all comes together.

Ain't That A Kick In The Head! by lesbianharrie, wreckingtomlinson

Words: 22k

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

Something Great by infinitelymint

Words: 31k

or, Louis is a student and Harry is the mega-famous singer that happens to post a photo with Louis in the background. Together they kind of break the internet.

You’re the Light by allwaswell16

Words: 31k

Before beginning a new graduate school in the fall, Louis Tomlinson decides to spend the summer working in Chicago as an editor’s assistant for the Chicago Tribune newspaper and staying with his old college roommate. What he finds on his first day of work is a tall, gorgeous editor named Harry who has the most beautiful green eyes he’s ever seen—and who also happens to be his new boss.

never shut us down by togetherwecouldbealright

Words: 32k

Tumblr!AU.

Louis is an insecure mess and he hides behind his blog. Harry’s a boy with a personality too bright and he’s everything Louis thought he would hate. They end up falling in love.

From Eight Until Late, I Think About You by supernope

Words: 35k

Involves a bunch of YouTube challenges (AKA excuses for Harry to get naked), some awkward snapchat mishaps, and a whole lot of pining.

say you want me by orphan_account

Words: 37k

A Famous/Not-Famous AU featuring Liam, Zayn, and Harry as the members of Sonic Boom, an English band that unexpectedly sky rocketed to international fame, Niall as their biggest fan, and Louis as the exact opposite. Harry’s a closeted pop star and Louis is the uni student he keeps fighting with on Twitter. It’s all silly banter until it turns into something else.

Warm Me Like Sunshine by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife)

Words: 45k

Or alternatively, Louis accidentally discovers that Harry, the boy who he likes, has a tumblr account. He thinks it’s a chance to talk to him online without actually talking, getting to know him before they converse in real life. But things don’t go according to the plan when he finds that Harry is pining over someone who seems to be perfect. It gets worse when Harry starts talking to him in real life as well, since now he has to hide from him that his online friend (Tommo) is the same as his real life friend (Louis).

We’ll Be Seamless by dinosaursmate

Words: 52k

Louis spends all his spare time scrolling arty nude blogs on Tumblr but amongst them all, Green is his favourite.

Anonymously Yours by DirtyLarryStylinson

Words: 64k

Louis creates a fake, female social media account to talk to the new, straight boy, Harry Styles, on. Along with this, Harry is getting closer and closer to Louis and his friendship group, and things are taken way too far online.

When We Were Younger by dinosaursmate

Words: 76k

Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

*credit to the owner of the manip

updated 6.8.19

#ask

50 notes · View notes

thebachelordiaries · 7 years ago

Text

A Colognoisseur With A Fishy Scent: ‘The Bachelorette’ Ep. 4 Recap

This episode recap is coming at you at the absolute last minute because I have been spending all my free time today listening to Kanye West’s song “All Mine.” As the lyrics go:

Time is extremely valuable.

And I prefer to waste it.

It truly speaks to me. Also the part about “all that ass hanging out the bottom.” I feel seen. (JK)

Anyway, we started off this episode at an unfinished rose ceremony. Here’s what happened:

David got the biggest pity rose in Bachelorette history. He looked terrible. Someone should have put a bag over his head.

Nick, aka bae, aka the guy cosplaying Draco Malfoy, wore a tracksuit to the rose ceremony. He said this is his way of “putting it out on the line” to show Becca who he really is. If wearing a tracksuit is his way of being emotionally vulnerable, then same. It’s like that gif of spiderman unzipping his suit to only reveal another spiderman suit underneath. Is Nick a scorpio? I must know.

Banjo guy Ryan got sent home. I’m not sure why he was so hyped up on ATFR when he got literally zero camera time. It’s like ABC catfished us.

Man bun Mike was also sent home. It was only a matter of time, but he tweeted some exceptionally good tea after he was eliminated. It may have been the highlight of my week:

The guys, who have been cooped up in the Bachelor Mansion for the past few weeks, learn they are going to Salt Lake City, Utah, to instead be cooped up in a hotel. Same shit, different view.

1-On-1 With Garret

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: repeating movie quotes is not a personality trait.

When you look past Garret’s Chris Farley impression, there’s not much to him. He talks like a 15-year-old and has no inflection in his voice. Where is the substance?

Garret and Becca go bobsledding with two Olympians. I tried my best to capture Garret’s reaction to learning he was going bobsledding with a lesbian couple, especially after his Instagram scandal. He had a pretty normal reaction...for a closeted homophobic person.

We found out on this date that Garret was married for two months before he got a divorce. The way (re: lack of emotion) he described his divorce makes it hard for me to believe he was “verbally and emotionally” abused. I would love to know the other side of the story and then form my own truth.

I think once Becca gets past the fact that Garret is similar to her dad because “they both like the outdoors,” she will realize there’s not much going up there. Hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.

Becca loves sitting like this.

One time I briefly “talked to” a guy who I think liked me more than he should because qualities about me reminded him of his deceased father. It was flattering, but I knew most of his infatuation was “in his head.” Plus, he was a really nice guy and I was too busy being obsessed with an asshole who didn’t care about me. LOL. Oh, to be 22 again....

What I’m trying to say here is, Becca doesn’t like Garret. She likes the idea of him.

Lumberjack Group Date

Ah, there’s nothing I hate more than hyper-masculine activities.

The guys threw around logs and chopped wood to prove to Becca who has the biggest package. So who won the pissing contest? Apparently John, the app developer guy. Go figure.

In other news, apparently Blake lives in the mountains and eats bugs? Is it weird that I find that hot?

This date proved that bug man Blake and Andrew Keegan impersonator Jason clearly have the strongest connections with Becca.

Becca said Andrew Keegan impersonator Jason is a really good kisser.

I refuse to believe that Becca has anything in common with Colton besides the fact that she wants to make out with his face.

Can we talk about Colton real quick? The guy has no idea how to dress himself, has shady motives and said he’s “one of the good guys.” Have you ever met an actual good guy who calls himself a good guy? Me neither. Colton, to top if off, doesn’t think Jordan is here “for the right reasons,” which is hysterical because Colton thought Tia was going to be The Bachelorette and tried to get to know her beforehand, but I digress. This golden boy was bothered by the fact that Jordan was wearing golden underwear that Becca gave him. First of all, it would be rude to not wear a gift from Becca. Secondly, Colton tried to shame Jordan by telling him he’s classless and calling him a “pussy” (or maybe a fa***ot since it was bleeped out) in the same sentence. Jordan quickly picked up on this irony.

“You just called me a ***** and you’re talking about respect?” -Jordan

Ding, ding. We have a winner.

Jordan- 1

Colton- 0

We learned Jean Blanc is a shady individual. Talking as if he’s reciting a script, he gifted Becca a perfume and admitted that he’s falling in love with her. When Becca admits she isn’t feeling the same and thinks he should go home, Jean Blanc tries to take back the perfume and says he isn’t falling in love with her and just said that because he thought that’s what she wanted to hear.

Jean Blanc has officially been canceled.

Fuck that guy.

Understandably upset, Becca cancels the rest of the group date and doesn’t give out a rose.

1-on-1 With WIlls

“Hi my name is Wills and I’m the most adorable human on the planet” -a rough translation of what Wills said in this interview upon learning he has a 1-on-1 date.

Wills is such a genuine person. You can tell he is an ACTUAL good guy and that he really cares about Becca. Plus, he does have a non-traditional style but doesn’t dress like a three-year-old dressing himself for the first time. Take notes, Colton.

While I think Becca appreciates these qualities about Wills, I don’t think he’s the one for her. I do hope, however, that he can somehow make it to the final four. (My final four predictions are: Jason, Blake, Wills and Colton)

After they go four-wheeling up a mountain, Wills has a serious talk with Becca about his last relationship. When Wills told Becca his ex asked for a “hall pass.” I audibly yelled.

Becca’s reaction: “Why?”

Wills: Exactly

Ugh, these two are just genuine and pure souls and I love them both even though they don’t belong together. Also, I don’t like watching them kiss.

Here’s Becca doing her leg thing again.

Rose Ceremony

I am currently mourning the fact that Nick, aka bae, aka the guy cosplaying Draco Malfoy, was sent home. His beautiful face shall be missed.

Another beauty, Christon, was sent home. The guy literally has a twinkle in his eye at all times. It’s like he’s a Disney prince.

I’m going to end this recap with one Jordanism:

“I”m like a sponge. You can squeeze me and get everything out of me, but you’ll never know unless you try.”

Gosh, I love Jordan. He may be my favorite Bachelorette contestant of all time. I still think Chad will forever be the best villain and most complex character, but his entire presence is too negative for me to enjoy fully. Plus, Jordan responds to my Instagram DMs. He appreciates his fans, and I appreciate that.

#the bachelorette #becca kurfrin #salt lake city #bobsledding #chris harrison #abc #photo credit: ABC

3 notes · View notes

nottooldforthisship · 7 years ago

Note

Hi! Can I ask what are your top fics of 2017 so far? The fics I've been reading for the past week(s) were all from 2015/16.. So I've been wanting to catch up with the new ones. :) Thanks looove

Oh shit, that’s a hard question ^^

(I’ll update this until the end of the year)(last update on Dec.14th 2014)

(also this is mostly in chronological order of my reading) (and fair warning, I haven’t read a Larry fic since Nov.17th)

- Fall At My Door , by @fullonlarrie : A-list actor Harry Styles and award-winning musician Louis Tomlinson have an acquaintances-with-benefits relationship, so whenever their busy professional lives happen to land them in the same city, they meet up. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement.And that’s all it is. Until it isn’t. (30k, E)

- Feels Like Coming Home, by @phd-mama : The last thing Harry Styles expects when he’s hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that’s exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn’t heard one word from Louis, and he’s moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he’s a chef, isn’t easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he’d left turn out to be not so easily forgotten. This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.(60k, E)

- Saved Tonight, by objectlesson : Harry is the world’s most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis’s biggest fan. Louis hasn’t written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It’s probably destiny. (30k, E)

- Just Breathe, by @a-writerwrites and @dimpled-halo: Louis pops his head into the kitchen, “You alright?”Harry smiles shaking his head, “Just my clumsy arse at it again,” he says laughing.“I oughta put you over my knee and give you a good spanking,” Louis mutters, chuckling.Harry freezes. His pulse races so hard he can feel the blood rushing fast and hot throughout his body, like a livewire, zinging through him in a delirious rush. His mouth goes dry, and his eyes are wide. And when Louis turns around to look at him after being silent for so long, it’s like Louis just knows. He understands. Harry loves him so fucking much. **** OR the one where Harry and Louis are on a journey through life together — one that includes discovering dark, hidden parts of themselves that only the other can find. (50k, E)

- Then We Talk Slow , by @letsjustsee : (…) A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets. (20k, E)

- Riptide , by FlyingAlwaysInColor : AU in which Louis loses his amazing mum, and is sent on a forced holiday to a luxury spa resort where he meets a green-eyed butterfly-angel and an adventurous Irishman who help him start to heal by administering equal doses of love and laughter. (91k, E)

- Reduce Me To A Pleading Cry (Break The Skin and Tantalize), by @taggiecb : As the CEO of Styles & Styles, Harry Styles cuts a brooding and handsome figure at the helm of a very successful business. His reputation for intensity is well known, but you would be intense, too, if you had to work numbers all day, give countless orders, and conduct endless meetings. When all you really want to do at night–ache to do–is give away the reins, let someone else make the decisions, be ordered around for once, just–let go. Harry has reached his breaking point when one touch from a man whose very stance commands attention leads him back to a place he thought he’d never return. Or Harry is a broody submissive boss, Louis is a natural dom who works in the mail room at Styles & Styles, Niall is a matchmaking oracle, and a slender, dark haired man stands mute at the coffee stand encouraging others to spill their secrets. (33k, E)

- Resist Everything Except Temptation, by @domestic-harry : (…) The one where Louis is the commodore’s son who is forced to become a part of Harry’s crew when he is captured. (100k, E)

(more under the cut, this list is gonna be so long …)

- Them Butterflies , by @gaycousinlarry : To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end. This is the extraordinarily ordinary AU where Harry falls in love for the first time and Louis learns how to fall in love all over again. (68k, E)

- When We Were Younger, by @dinosaursmate: About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own. (76k, E)

- Fool’s Gold , by @freetheankles : Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up. (55h, E)

- Dance Me (to the End of Love), by @phd-mama : You would think that it’s a simple process - you meet, you fall in love, you get married. But when you add one lawyer and one overly-competitive high school teacher to that equation, it’s no longer a straight line from beginning to end. Or the story of how a simple proposal becomes a competition where no one loses in the end. (19k, E)

- Life Was a Song, You Came Along, by @rainbowninja : It’s embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you. Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend’s career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan’s newest album. A modern retelling of Singin’ in the Rain.(37k, E)

- Wholehearted, by TheMagicWord : AU. When superstar singer and winner of The Voice Louis Tomlinson tweets “Nothing worse than waking up with no milk for a cuppa !! Gutted” he doesn’t expect someone to bring him some. And he really doesn’t expect that someone to have bright green eyes, long curly hair, and (fucking) dimples. (77k, E)

- Looking Through You, by @allwaswell16 : Just as Louis and Liam were starting out in the music industry, writing and producing for up and coming artists, a fateful meeting with new pop singer Harry Styles changes everything. Four years later, just as Harry is set to embark on his next world tour, a drunken confession causes a rift between once inseparable friends. As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them. (41k, E)

- Love’s Truest Language , by @smrwine : The first part was meant as a joke. He didn’t really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow. “Where’s your order forms, then?” “I don’t want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him. Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?” (48k, E)

- got the sunshine on my shoulders , by @hattalove : five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)(124k, E)

- Never Let Me Go, by @loveisalaserquest17 : Harry and Louis have been friends forever, but they couldn’t be more different. One night, with a little too much alcohol, they make a pact to marry in ten years if they’re both still single.Now, one month before the deadline, Louis is willing to do whatever it takes to avoid ending up with his best friend. But is he, really? | Loosely inspired by The 10 Year Plan (55k, E)

- Don’t Want Shelter , by @fullonlarrie : Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families’ old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other. (76k, E)

- Turning Page, by @daisyharry : AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other. (67k, M)

- No One Like You , by @myownsparknow : Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide. (20k, M)

- Paint Me In A Million Dreams , by @greenfeelings : Harry’s one of Hollywood’s biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There’s just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry’s in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood’s biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese’s next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity? (110k, M)

-(Take Me Home) Country Roads, by @a-writerwrites : OR a Northern Exposure AU featuring Louis as the big city doctor, Harry as a natural healer, Niall as a secretive barkeep, Liam and Zayn head over heels for each other but they don’t know it and a lot of hurt, comfort and moonshine in between. (86k, E)

#fic rec #my fic rec #fav fics #2017 fics #Larry fic rec #nottooldforthisship fic rec #Anonymous #answers

984 notes · View notes

literaryfaeriecorner · 4 years ago

Text

02/21/2021: Promotions, Old Friends, and Yellow School Buses

link to original post

February 21st, 2021

somehow i received a promotion at work last Friday even though i am literally probably one of the LEAST motivated people teaching at that school... fuck. so... now, instead of just being a regular-schmegular teacher, i am now the '6th grade head social studies teacher' which means that i have to run planning meetings for the social studies team, attend morning meetings discussing whole-grade growth and failings, and solutions for how we're going to get the kids to... not suck. uuuuuuggggghhhhhh!!! and this is for the rest of the year and the next!!!!

apparently, i am the 'perfect person' for this position because all of my classes have consistently performed better than the rest... but between you, me, and the entire internet, that speaks more to the abilities of my students than my own personal abilities as a teacher. i don't believe i'm a sucky teacher or anything but the fact remains that between work, grad school, delusional lovesick-related episodes, mental illness, and other varying distractions, i am not Doing The Best I Can. in fact, i'm literally in survival mode 95% of the time. the other 5% of the time, i'm in manic-as-fuck mode. so... do i really DESERVE this promotion? who even fucking knows? i like to believe, however, that i'll eventually figure out how to bullshit this new responsibility as well and no one will be the wiser. i mean, if this promotion came with a financial boost as well, i'd be more inclined to not fuck it up but, like... i'm doing more work for the same weak ass pay... i'm not as motivated with kind words and encouragement than i would be with a solid boost to my pay grade. anyway... whatever.

i was on tumblr the other day (i am fasting from all social media sites during the day for Lent but tumblr doesn't count because i literally just reblog five or six posts into the void, look at sad literature quotes, and log out just to do it all over again the next day... i am not addicted to tumblr as i am to twitter, instagram, pinterest, and linkedin... yes, linkedin. my quest to escape my job has led me down a very weird and addictive path) and i came across this post by user beetlejuices:

"isn't it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?"

and it is. i think so. i really do.

one of the things i've been conscious of in my early adulthood is that i am still chasing after the friendships i had in middle school. i wrote about this two Lents ago too. there is a memory that i remember so vividly in middle school and it reminds me constantly about how i felt so loved and appreciated and like the world couldn't go on without me if i somehow left or disappeared or went away. i think about it all the time. that is how freeing and loving and whole it is. just a simple memory of being three hours late to school (after a huge, blown out argument between parents who should've divorced years ago) and being startled by a flood of texts that starting pouring in at 7 that morning.

ashley: YOOOO where r u? they snagged all the donuts from the corner store!

alysha: you missed the bus this morning?

ashley: i bought donuts off eman 4 u... say im the best :D

kiera: U MISSED CRYSTAL'S FAT HEAD ASS SLIP DOWN THE STEPS LMAOOO

kiera: u're always here early u good?

alysha: are you coming 2 school today?

ashley: are u ok?

Christyl: don't forget we have a test in math!! where are you?

kiera: babe?

ashley: are you ok? why is ur phone off?

alysha: i just talked to ashley are u ok?

Christyl: where r u?

kiera: i just talked to ashley r u ok?

kiera: none of ur sisters r here either... u ok?

ashley: i'll call again @ lunch

alysha: pls be safe

Christyl: i'll tell the teacher you're sick and maybe you can take it tomorrow

Christyl: are you ok?

and even more messages that were sent during and inbetween classes... i thought it was a bit too late (and too time consuming) to respond to them all individually so after being signed into school three hours late, i decided to wait for all my friends at our table in the cafeteria to surprise them before explaining my mess of a morning. i was nervous because i thought they would be mad at me for some reason. but as soon as they saw me, ashley, alysha, kiera, and christyl, they came barreling towards me screaming my name. it was an entire scene. people looking at them crazy and then raising their eyebrows at me, not seeing what the big deal was. i probably looked the same exact way that i did the day before. unspectacular, bookish, awkward. they couldn't see what the big deal was. it embarrassed me but it thrilled me at the same time.

they nearly knocked me to the floor pushing each other to get to me first trying to steal the first hug. in the end, i stretched my arms out as far as i could and they all fell into them. we probably looked a mess. a tangle of brown legs, arms, frizzy hair, loose braids, and scuffed dress shoes. i remember feeling so loved and wanted. i felt bigger and grander than i was. i had stopped the world for five entire minutes and i didn't do anything. i was just existing.

i don't really talk to any of the girls anymore. i follow them on social media and i wish them happy birthday every year and we're all on each other's close friends list on insta... so i still know a few, if not all, of their secrets... but we'll probably never be as close as we were in middle school. and that's ok. i still love them as much as i did when they tackled me in the lunch room that day. i still root and cheer for them like we still spend every night after school on the phone for hours talking shit and planning presidential campaigns and gossiping about boys. i will never forget that day in the lunchroom. ever. and, like i said, it has only occurred to me now, as a young adult, that i've been chasing that kind of friendship and sisterhood since it happened.

i like to treat all my friendships as mini-romances. i remember a tweet that said, "friendships ARE romance," and i agree. i think i'm in love with all of my close friends, if not all of my friends. it's embarrassing (just a bit) but i have probably fallen in love with all of my friends at least once or twice. this is especially true for my group of college friends (at this point, they are really family). i have been in love, at least once, with all eight of them throughout our four years. i don't actually find this embarrassing like i said earlier. what's embarrassing is that this information might embarrass other people which, in turn, would thoroughly embarrass me. but the fact itself doesn't embarrass me. that is how i am. i fall in love and out of love at breakneck speeds. i think it's important to be a little bit in love with your friends.

i really enjoyed being in undergrad and planning literal dates between all eight or nine of us. and we would call it that. "what are we doing for our date next weekend?" "so who's going on the date tomorrow?" "are we cancelling the date or does the weather not matter?" (the weather always mattered.) my favorite college date was valentine's day senior year. we all went to korean-style karaoke and ordered so much food and drink we could barely stand to sing. we were all sat around the tv singing horribly to mariah carey or beyonce or rapping to nicki minaj verses. we took so many bad pictures and tone deaf videos and we kept leaning or hugging or holding each other's hands. that's another thing i love about my college family. most of us are touchy-feely people. i am a touchy-feely person. i'm southern and my mom is ridiculously gooey so one of my love languages, inevitably, is touch. i, usually, reign it in A LOT unless i have a partner but in college, i somehow discovered a whole group of people who loved to kiss each other on the cheek and hold hands and lean on other people, and lock arms. i felt at home. really.

maybe it's not only about old friends, though. maybe it's about feeling at home.

there was another post on tumblr and i think about it a lot. it's a screenshot of a tweet from twitter user @HumbleCore.

"HUGE NEWS: finally found my best friend from middle school on FB. We've both been looking for each other for over a decade. I told her I think about her whenever I play any boardgame or drive by a church. She told me she uses my name as her password at work. A perfect reunion."

when i read that the other night, i cried. i don't know why. it was heavy and ridiculous and i was worried my roommates would hear me. i don't know why i cried. at all. and even typing it out like that made me want to cry again. the feeling is not as strong or as overwhelming as it was the first time but it's still there.

i think about a best friend i had in first grade. even before i thought of ashley as my best friend (i have known Middle School Ashley since the first grade. i thought we were destined to be best friends forever and ever and ever, which is what i wrote in her middle school yearbook). his name was Malik. or Malique. my memory fails me. but anyway, i loved him like crazy. we didn't do anything without the other. we shared lunch together, we HAD to be partners on every field trip, i cried when Ms. Sanchez moved my seat from his in an effort to stop us from disrupting her lessons and i hated her for an entire week. (a very long time from a first-grade perspective.) even now, i think about him whenever i go to petting zoos or farms and when i ride on yellow school buses with my students.

Malik/Malique was my first kiss. we were hiding from Ms. Sanchez and the other chaperones so we could pet the goats one last time. while we were hiding behind a barn, he kissed me. "for good luck," he said. and then we sprinted across the farm to get back to the goats. and we pet them again before Ms. Sanchez found us and ordered us back on the big yellow school bus where we held hands for the entire hour-long ride back to school.

it's very silly to think now but in high school when i was trying to determine whether i loved my first boyfriend or not i remember thinking, "well, does he make me feel like Malik/Malique?" it's silly but sweet. at fourteen, still comparing the way he made me feel behind a barn at 5 years old to how another boy, years and years later, made me feel. it is silly but i think it's sweet.

i don't actually have any interest in finding Malik/Malique or knowing for certain what he does or how he's doing because i seriously doubt i had such an impact on his life, but i hope he's well and alive and happy because that's what i always naturally hope for when i pass petting zoos or farms or see bright yellow school buses.

so, yes. i think everything, us, our relationships, the entire world, is about old friends. all of it. every last bit of it.

i have a whole-grade data analysis, 300 pages of reading, and two mini-papers for classes to finish before tonight so i'm going to get going... i just wanted to write about old friends first.

#on love #on friendship #on teaching #on community #stream of conscious #crushes

0 notes

decoding1432 · 7 years ago

Text

Parents & Friends

Some stans have picked sides due to the parent’s behaviour on SM. Just the way some reflect all the hate collected from other stans onto the girls, it’s the same deal when it comes to their parents. Due to the fact that certain people can’t stand them, they decide to whether unstan or throw shit at the girls for it.

If you don’t think all these subtle shade going on is done with a purpose, try to give it a second thought.

The thing with this whole “shading” is that we've got two viewpoints:

From Camila’s side we saw how her parents stopped acknowledging the group & this happened since the fighting days. Now, let's put ourselves in the Cabellos’ shoes for a moment:

Imagine one day your daughter & her bandmates are played such a dirty trick & they cut communication. (Yes, I still believe this is how all went down). Anyway back to our scenario, now thanks to this they are not on speaking terms anymore. Your daughter releases her first solo project. It's important for her. However the people pulling the group strings are setting her in a very dark position. They are painting her in a very negative light in front of her fans.

Around those days, you log into your Twitter account several times & you see one fan turns against her. But as time passes by that one “fan” multiplicates & turns into 10 more haters. Then 50, then 100 & so it goes on & on. The situation worsens. Now, your daughter starts receiving hateful tweets 24/7. Your daughter starts getting sick. Her mental health state is seriously compromised but the people behind her career are doing nothing to help the situation, in fact they are making it more toxic for her. The issue with her bandmates is still not solved. The haters seem unstoppable at this point… Your daughter is mentally exhausted to a point where she describes her anxieties having anxieties.

That continues for a year. Along the way your daughter & her bandmates rekindled their bond. But it’s not all bright again since they must not give that away on camera. Another thing to add is that her bandmates are told not to defend her on SM to make the haters cease. Tell me are you happy with the brand & the poisonous environment they created around your daughter? The answer is obvious.

Let’s take a look at 5H’s angle. The way I see it, you’re a 40-50 year old & you spend your days bashing a 20 year old through Twitter... immaturity at its finest, right?

The tricky aspect here is that the parents’ wishes contradict their actions.

E.g. The parents want hatred to stop. Some like Mama Dre have expressed it & also it’s not even necessary to have this captured on a tweet to understand. Anyhow, they want the hate to cease but they encourage haters with their comments? Logic 2+2= potato

Now, personally the moment Mike started being shady that seemed fishy af to me. We’re talking about the same person that liked C’s departure letter (apparently he unliked it a little after, not really sure). Anyway, even if he didn’t, he was always all about the five girls & one of the non-problematic ones before the mess started unraveling. It makes sense that they started using him, not only to cut all ties with Camren but to influence the stans more strongly as well.

I asked lawyerlarry if this has happened with their boys, using their relatives to mold or push the narrative. This was her answer:

Since we don’t know what type of contract the girls are under we can’t know for sure if the parents are completely obligated. However one thing is for sure, clearly as a parent you’re going to want the best for your kid.

I’m bringing back some points I’ve written about this same subject in a past masterpost…

TV anon: “The thing about the parents is that THEY ARE PARENTS so they are gonna be protective and going to support their child 100%. Now, the moment the girls became legal, the parents are off negotiations or meetings so the only thing they know is what their daughters told them (and we don’t know how restrictive the contract is or even if the girls go and spill full deets to their parents) and you are right, their behavior is very contradictory, even from parents of the same child. Example, Lauren’s parents. Her dad it’s super supportive of the 5 of them and her mom is really over the top, to be honest lol. I have seen them throwing shade and then talking about supporting the 5 of them so maybe the shade is for the label. Or at some point it was for Camila but then they got informed and realized the situation, who knows. Let’s not forget, they don’t belong to the industry so they don’t know how to handle situations like these. Such as their children, they are too emotional. The parents and friends subject is tricky, cause who knows how much they know/or don’t know.”

Every single time I get worried I might be overthinking I return to the question told above: If they know they are only worsening their situation & attracting more toxicity toward their daughters why would they continue with this childish behaviour? Also the girls are not stupid, cause even if these were truly their parents’ actions don’t doubt they wouldn’t stop them.

Once more, this applies to their parents. When it comes to other relatives like Leilani, we're completely unaware of how close she's or not with Dinah, let alone the rest of the girls. She could be throwing shade in order to help them or simply she’s an attention seeker. For all we know a) she could have been told an alternate story along the way b) she is acquainted with only a very small part of the truth c) nothing at all & she knows just as much as we do.

When it comes to friends, let alone not their closest friends, we can coincide that they surely don’t know the story from head to toe but since they’re familiar with the girls at a certain extent they claim to for the sake of rts & attention. Dealing with the parents topic is ambiguous. “I think the parents ought to know everything, don’t fool yourself, why would the girls keep things from them?” Believe it or not, there’s always possibility. Here I consider a list of reasons why it COULD be true:

TV anon couldn’t have said it better…

When the girls became legal, procedures & regulations on the entertainment business gave a 180 degrees turn.

Non-disclosure agreements are a common thing in the industry.

Thus far none of the girls has shaded each other. Although, other people have accomplished a fraction of this “dirty work” for them. Such as friends, crew team members, & their parents. What I’ve caught on this culmination of “bitterness” is that it’s quite contradictory. To elaborate: Lucy shaded Camila around two or three weeks later by liking one IG post that was referring to C as “Canola”. What I found funny is how less than a month before, Lucy literally appeared on Dinah’s livestream hanging with her & Camila at their bus.

When I wrote that, the BB 5H issue hadn’t come out yet. Also these past few days, Lucy has publicly shown her support for Camila on SM. Also let’s add, she isn’t the only connection from Lauren that’s been doing this lately...

Now, some of LAND’s friends have publicly supported C. To me, it hints at the bigger picture that the ladies are in good terms. Some of you might disagree, maybe you consider they’re not friends any longer. Fine that’s your POV, but I don’t share that perspective. Not because I refuse to let go OT5 or anything remotely similar, but like I’ve said numerous times before, the fact that the girls knew about C leaving since 2015 & all the moments we had along 2016 I consider it a sign that they were able to somewhat fix whatever issues they had a year before.

Even if you agree or not with me on their current friendship status, you can’t deny the following: LAND doesn’t speak badly about Camila bts unlike what media wants to make us believe.

(Fun fact: Josh liked the following two days after the split announcement)

Enough with Josh (he stans Camila hard lol) Let’s check the rest of their friends...

I would insert here the videos of Simone & Sydney jamming to CITC, unfortunately I couldn’t download them but that doesn’t me we must not take them into account as well.

Next one might not be recent but reminder that Normani wrote as part of those thoughts: “I have love and respect for all four of my bandmates whether you choose to believe it or not” “I have to address foolishness manufactured by those that have absolutely no idea what goes on” “For those who enjoy speculating and creating drama that doesn’t exist, please keep in mind that myself and the other girls in the group are PEOPLE” etc...

Out of all their friends or people they’ve worked with, in my opinion, when Angie (their temporary guitarist after Ashlee left) commented on C’s IG post is the one proof that I would take over any of the above to pinpoint that THIS...

...doesn’t reflect any of THIS...

In conclusion, I believe that the relatives & some friends are attempting to help the girls as much as they can. I repeat, it’s uncertain how much the girls are allowed to tell them. But some things are undeniably true... They (parents & friends) know how fucked up this business is, they have seen how much the 5 ladies have struggled in these past years. If there’s something they can’t do, is stop this madness. They can’t break the system, they can’t protect them from this industry. But they can try to fulfill part of the “dirty work”, otherwise I’m sure it would have to come directly from the girls. Don’t judge them, they are willing to do anything if it means taking some of the burden off of the girls’ shoulders. How do I know this latter? Cause I might only be a fan but I would do it too.

Question: if you had a friend or a relative in they industry, would you doubt putting yourself in the spotlight for a second in order to give them a hand?

P.S. Alejandro liked Clara’s “shady” tweet that was supposedly aimed at Camila.

#sorry if it took too long but i've been trying to put my life in order #hope you enjoyed it #next time you choose to call out their parents think about how much they love their kids

406 notes · View notes