#to have someone put into words almost precisely how you feel about life and death and the meaning in both

[tiddytrashcan]

Everytime I think I understand the degree to which Ursula K. LeGuin Got It™ she hits me with another life revelation

[joelalorian]

Lost Cause

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel thinks you shouldn’t waste your time on him. You disagree.

Warnings: Explicit MDNI; Jackson-era Joel; canon-ish but also not; drinking; mentions of cigarettes, drugs, dark thoughts, and death; unprotected p in v; oral (m and f receiving); interesting use of red wine; unspecified age gap; despair and hope.

Inspired by the song Save Me by Jelly Roll. Some of the lyrics have been woven into the story.

Word count: 2,594 oneshot

The hits just kept coming. Time after time, year after year, life just beat Joel Miller down. It started when he was young, always taken down a peg by someone who was supposed to love him unconditionally, no matter how hard he tried to build himself up. There was a brief respite when he had Sarah – those fourteen years were the happiest of his life, despite the sudden and unexpected nature of becoming a father so young, until it was all ripped away in the blink of an eye on that one horrific day.

Since then, he’d given up hoping for more. Life had completely shattered his hopes and dreams. He couldn’t even put himself out of his own misery, for fuck’s sake. Life hated him that much it wouldn’t even release its grasp on him. He was so damaged beyond repair, and he could do fuck all about it.

His latest hit was a sucker punch to the gut, though.

Just when he finally opened up his heart again, when he allowed himself to feel something other than misery again, that’s precisely when the hit came.

Ellie – sweet, feral child that she was – wanted nothing to do with him after finding out the truth of what happened to the Fireflies in Salt Lake City.

The fracture in his relationship with Ellie sent him spiraling out of control, resorting to old behaviors and vices – drinking too much at the Tipsy Bison, smoking pilfered cigarettes out back behind the bar, taking pills on the rare occasions he could get his hands on them. The nightmares returned no matter how blasted he got to chase them away and he was often moody from lack of sleep.

Joel still contributed to society in Jackson, but he did it in ways that he could keep to himself. Fixing things around town, building stuff in his workshop, taking the odd patrol shift with his brother. He avoided everyone but Tommy and Maria, and Ellie, if she didn’t flee from the very sight of him.

“Jesus Christ, Joel. What the fuck? Were you trying to get yourself killed? Because it almost worked!” Tommy was worked up, laying into Joel at the tail end of their patrol shift. He didn’t know if his older brother had a death wish or was just too hungover to pay proper attention, but Joel was nearly taken out by a clicker while they cleared their route. A clicker that he normally would have dispatched without much effort or thought. Joel cut it way too close this time.

Joel gazed at his brother with baleful eyes. He had nothing to say for himself. He did have a death wish, but how could he tell Tommy that?

Tommy knew Joel was struggling – his behavior was similar to what it had been after Sarah died, when he became a fraction of the man he had been. “Come on, let’s grab a drink at the Bison,” Tommy sighed. At a loss on how else to help him, Tommy often accompanied Joel to the bar despite already thinking his brother drank too much.  At least he could keep an eye on him that way.

They made small talk on the way, Joel’s responses little more that grumbles and grunts. Something needed to give, but what? Tommy didn’t know, but he sent up silent prayers for a miracle to save his brother.

Once they were seated at one end of the bar, Tommy ordered a round. “Joel, brother, what is going on, really? Is it just the thing with Ellie or something more?”

Two sets of deep brown eyes stared at each other for long moments, each waiting for the other to flinch or look away. Joel gave in first, clearing his throat, unable to meet his brother’s eyes as he spoke. “It’s… everythin’, Tommy. It feels like somethin’ inside me is broken, somethin’ that was just starting to repair itself until this thing with Ellie shattered it again.”

Tommy’s heart clenched. Life had done Joel dirty, even before the outbreak, and it seemed like it finally broke him beyond repair. “I know it ain’t been easy, not with… well, everything. Do you… would you ever consider talking to someone about it all? Like a professional, I mean. I know we got someone here who used to be a counselor.”

Brows pinched together, Joel’s stormy eyes glared at the bar top, avoiding Tommy’s searching gaze. “Fuck, no! I don’t want a stranger diggin’ into my psyche or whatever the hell they do, just so they can tell me I have daddy issues or some such shit. And talkin’ ‘bout it don’t help none, either. I’m talking to you and it ain’t doing shit but pissin’ me the hell off!”

“Damn, alright! Don’t gotta get all caveman on me.” Tommy held his hands up with a blatant roll of his eyes. His brother never did like the touchy feely shit and he should have known better than to bring it up. “Maybe you just need a sweet lil’ thing to take your mind off shit.”

That got Joel to laugh for the first time in a long while. “Oh yeah? You think getting my dick wet will solve everythin’?”

Tommy smirked. “Well, not everything. You’ll still be you afterwards. I’d pity whatever poor girl got stuck with you, honestly. But it couldn’t hurt none, right?” It was good to see his brother grin, nose and corners of eyes crinkling with the broadness of it, and they fell into a comfortable silence while people watching. Sudden movement at the entrance caught Tommy’s attention and Joel followed his eyeline.

You walked in with Maria, the pair of you had your heads tilted toward each other giggling madly about something. While Tommy only had eyes for Maria, Joel drank in the sight of you. New to Jackson, you arrived with a small group a few weeks ago and, while you were still settling in, you were eager to meet people and get involved in helping around town. Maria took an instant liking to you, and you spent a lot of time with her, quickly becoming part of the Miller group.

Catching a glimpse of his brother staring at you, Tommy slapped Joel’s back. “Speaking of a sweet lil’ thing. Maybe this is your chance, brother.” Joel scoffed in return. Girls like you don’t go for guys like him, at least not the guy he was now. It was the law of nature or some shit.

“Hey boys,” Maria greeted, taking a seat next to Tommy. With a knowing glint in her eye and an exaggerated wink, she gestured for you to sit next to Joel. You never should have mentioned to her how handsome you found Joel. She was becoming a menace with her not-so-subtle methods of teasing and pushing the two of you closer at every opportunity.

“Hi Joel.” You slipped onto the stool next to him, one hand placed on his shoulder for balance as you did so.

“Hey darlin’. Whatcha drinking?” he grunted, fighting to ignore the burning heat of your touch. When was the last time a woman touched him? It must have been Tess and that was… a long time ago.

“I’ll take a red wine. Cabernet or pinot noir, whichever kind is available, please.”

After relaying your request to the bartender, and with his brother’s attention focused solely on Maria, Joel turned his attention back to you. He was a miserable sod, but you were a beautiful woman – he’d be a fool to ignore the attention you paid him. “How are you settlin’ in?”

“Pretty good. This is some community.” You launched into a few stories about mishaps and people you’ve met so far, drawing a few chuckles from Joel with your interpretation of some of the townsfolk. You had a way about you that drew him out of shell of melancholy.

One drink quickly became two, then three, and before either of you knew it, Maria and Tommy left and the two of you were alone at the bar. The wine buzz left you feeling bold and brave, making a move you would not have normally.

“Do you want to go back to my place for a nightcap?”

“Darlin’,” Joel sighed, brows pinched, at once drifting back under the dark cloud of hopelessness and unable to meet your heated gaze. “You don’t want to waste your time on me. I’m a lost cause.”

“Why don’t you let me decide what and who I waste my time on,” you challenged.

Joel’s eyebrows lifted in surprise at your tenacity. You were a beautiful young woman and for some unfathomable reason you were interested in him. He had absolutely nothing to offer someone like you, except for a one-night stand, at best. He was good at those – they didn’t require deep connections or feelings, two things he was avoiding like the plague. Maybe Tommy was on to something though – sex would take his mind off his miserable existence for a bit.

“Okay then. Let’s get outta here,” he replied, downing the last of the amber liquid in his glass, and leading you out of the bar with a large, warm hand at your lower back.

The journey to your house was cold and quiet and you began to wonder if you’d made a huge error in judgement. You weren’t a one-night stand kind of girl, preferring the comfort and security of relationships instead, but something told you that this would be the only way you’d get to have Joel. There was a darkness about him, a deep residing mass of regret and remorse, and you felt a burning need to fix him, to be his sunshine, even if only for a little bit.

Your hands fumbled with the latch when you finally reached your house. The warmth of Joel’s large hands suddenly overwhelmed your senses as he helped you, and you were flinging yourself at him before the door even closed behind you.

His kisses were anything but tender, all harsh presses of his lips, teeth, and tongue, like he was a man starved. There would be marks left on your tender skin come morning, but you didn’t mind, giving him the same treatment as you sucked at his neck, soothing your tongue over the spots you just sunk your teeth into.

“I have a bottle of wine. Do you want some?” you breathed against his lips, taking a moment to slow the momentum before the pair of you spontaneously combusted.

A smirk crossed Joel’s lips as an idea struck him. “Sure, why not.” He watched you open the bottle and pour two glasses before returning to him. Accepting one of the stemless glasses, he clinked it against yours before taking a sip. The momentum picked right back up after that first taste of the dark liquid.

Fingers frantically working to undo the buttons on Joel’s flannel with one hand, you walked backwards up the stairs to your bedroom, pulling him along with you without a spare thought about the wine spilled on the wood flooring as you went. Patience wearing thin, he tore your clothes from your body with his free hand, leaving you naked and yearning as you continued working on his shirt. Placing his glass of wine on the nightstand, his hands were everywhere, he could not get enough of your smooth, soft skin.

You were the antithesis of him, bright and bubbly where he was dark and brooding, soft where he was hard, adaptable and happy where he was rigid and sad. You were ripe like fresh fruit ready for plucking. You were everything he wish he could still be. Perhaps he could get just a brief taste of happiness being with you, inside you.

Once his jeans and boots were shed, Joel tossed you onto the bed, watching with hungry eyes as your tits bounced with the movement. He was on you in a flash, hands and mouth exploring every inch of your body. Sharp teeth scraped against your puckered nipples, making them impossibly harder, and the sensation shot a bolt of pleasure right down to your core, where the weight of his hardened cock rested, twitching for attention.

Nails scraped down his chest and belly until you reached his cock, slipping your slender hand around the heft of him. He was huge – both long and thick, a combination you’d not experienced before, and your mouth watered with the desire to taste him. If you only had one night together, you wanted to make it a memorable experience.

It took great effort to get Joel to detach his lips from your breasts, the whine that emanated from him as you did so had you downright aching for him.

“What are you doin’, darlin’?” his deep voice rumbled, dark eyes rolling back in his head when you moved down his body and slipped your plush lips around the head of his cock. “Oh, fuck!”

After spending so long living in hell, your mouth felt like heaven as you licked and sucked on his length.

“Wait, doll, I wanna try somethin’.”

Sitting up against the aged headboard, Joel grasped the wine glass and brought it down to rest on his belly. Two thick fingers dipped into the dark red liquid and swirled, coating every bit of surface area from fingertip to second knuckle before he brought his drenched fingers down towards you. His hand hovered over his cock and you both watched as droplets of translucent ruby red liquid dripped onto his hardened flesh.

Your mouth watered as you watched him repeat the process, eager to taste the heady mix of the bitter tang of wine and his salty pre-cum. Ravenous, you slurped at the liquid trails running down the length of his cock before lapping at the bulbous head, leaving no hint of wine behind as you wrapped your lips around him.

Joel was a panting mess when you took him as far as you could, his weeping head hitting the back of your throat. The glass of wine was forgotten, slipping from his hand to stain the hardwood floor next to the bed. That was a tomorrow problem as you focused on devouring his beautiful cock. He was close to the edge within minutes, the sensations too much, and he pushed you off him none too gently, flipping you onto your back like you weighed nothing.

“My turn, darlin’,” Joel murmured, nestling his face between your legs. He’d been told that his current lifestyle was bad for his health, that all the drinking and smoking was hopeless. They weren’t wrong, but it felt like that was all he needed, the only thing that set him free from his sorrows. Now that he’d tasted you, he knew that was utter bullshit. You could so easily set him free if he got to have you, taste you every day. You were enough to change a man like him.

“Joel,” you mewled his name between long moans as his tongue teased at your clit, thick fingers exploring your folds before dipping inside you. He drew an orgasm from you effortlessly and you clawed at his back as the blinding flash of pleasure washed over you. “I need you inside me. Now. Please.”

He could refuse you nothing, shifting to hover over you. “Save me from myself,” he murmured against your lips as he sheathed himself inside your tight warmth. “You’re the only one who can.”

“Always,” you replied breathlessly, rocking your hips against his. Your mouths met in a kiss full of promise.

[lightsiided]

you can't do this alone.

* refusing care prompts | accepting

     "yeah." rey sighs heavily, lips pressing together in a MISERABLE frown. "i know."

she thinks about it in pieces: the long trip to the outer rim to find moraband, the desolate mountains that await them upon arrival. the valley of the dark lords, which they will need to cross through on their way to the temple. the temple itself, that once housed jedi prisoners, if the legends hold a whisper of truth. the spirits awaiting them within it, alongside all the traps and tricks. the many, many opportunities there will be for grievous injury or DEATH -- and she's just supposed to drag someone she loves off with her to join the nightmare.

but it's too DANGEROUS to go alone, even if the idea had both originally occurred to her and seemed incredibly appealing, at first, while she paged through luke's old notes. rey traced her finger along the hand-drawn map he'd left behind and the fragmented sentences beneath it, where a few words had stuck out to her starkly enough to elicit a shiver: master yoda encountered visions created by sidious with the intent to corrupt.

there is a sort of irony to it, she thinks, that it would have to be someone she LOVED with her, in case that were still true. the only way to ensure her own safety is to drag the love of her life into trouble with her. how poetic it is -- the life of a jedi.

she wonders if he already knows the thing she feels too guilty to admit aloud: that while the idea of bringing thor into danger beside her is almost physically repulsive, she nearly equally dreads having to trudge through the sprawling sith cemetery alone, plagued by dark visions, at war with her own mind.

hands scrub over her face, fingers raking through her hair. "i wish neither of us had to do this, actually." the war is won. it's supposed to be over. don't they deserve to have their peace, now -- to be happy?

rey twists her face up, scrunching her nose and puffing her cheeks. her exhale is slow, this time. RESIGNED, she squints up at thor. "you really want to come?"

she knows the answer even before the question is posed. the second she first received the information and unearthed luke's journal for research, rey knew there was no chance she'd be able to sneak out ALONE to complete the task. and though everything within her rebels against the idea of putting the person she loves most in harm's way, especially for her...

...part of her is so very pleased, that it doesn't seem to have even occurred to thor that it would be an OPTION for rey to go alone.

it isn't that he doesn't think she could do it, either. his words hold the edge of desperation that only someone who loves a self-sacrificing hero could possess. rey's recognized the precise tone in her own voice many times before. defensively, she rolls her eyes. "i wasn't thinking about going alone alone," rey feels obligated to argue, "i would have at least brought bb-8."

though she knows it'll hardly be a handful of minutes into the trip before she's glad it's him, who's with her. inevitably, she'll be glad she's chosen to be with someone who clings to her like static even when things are perilous. someone unafraid to argue with her when she most needs to be argued WITH. someone who insists.

@othunderous

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

episode 2-

Mobius: Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kind of ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I’m just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this. My own glorious purpose. Because the TVA is my life. And it’s real because I believe it’s real. Loki: So everything is written. Past, present, future. There’s no such thing as free will. Mobius: Well, I mean, you know, it’s an oversimplification. Loki: So in fact, in a way, you and I, here at the TVA, we’re the only ones who are actually free. Mobius: Where are you going with this, Loki? Loki: How does it all end? Mobius: That’s a work in progress.

episode 5-

Mobius: All that time, I really believed we were the good guys. Sylvie: Annihilating entire realities, orphaning little girls, classic hero stuff. Mobius: Well, I guess when you think the ends justify the means, there’s not much you won’t do. By the way, you did some annihilating too. Sylvie: I did what I had to do. Mobius: Yeah, so did I. Sylvie: You hunted me like a dog. Mobius: I’m sorry about that.

episode 6-

Mobius: I think people are ready to hear a little truth now. You know, like the TVA is a lie. Ravonna Renslayer: But what if it’s a necessary one? Someone created the Time Keepers. They created this whole place. They gave us all purpose. I have to believe they had a reason. Mobius: No, because I’ve seen the horror waiting for people when they get pruned, and there’s nothing necessary about that. Ravonna Renslayer: You know what would happen if we didn’t prune the Timeline? Mobius: What? Ravonna Renslayer: Chaos. Death. Mobius: Free will?

I wanted to line these three conversations up because it becomes clear just how much Mobius refuses to take any kind of moral responsibility. He honestly tries to play moral high ground against Ravonna when earlier that day he had Loki continuously beaten because he was angry he ran away. What was so necessary about that? He really is great at lying to himself.

You know, when you put it like that it almost feels like it could have worked with Mobius falling victim to the propaganda to realizing the truth and turning his back on the TVA... that's what Mikey wanted to do but it doesn't work if he doesn't take any responsibility for his actions.

It makes no sense to have a character who has spent years or decades (if not more) working for the TVA and believing their lies, finally finding out the truth and instead of having an existential crisis he blames everyone around him but himself. That's not a logical reaction at all!

He should hate himself, he should be devastated from all the pain and death he has caused, he should be apologizing profusely to Loki - hell, even to Sylvie - and aching to make amends. But he shows no signs of any of that, if anything he's delighted about that "free will" he despised just a few hours earlier.

Mikey imbued him with all that shallow morality when he speaks to Ravonna but his words fall flat precisely because he feels no responsibility for any of it. The time loop was Mobius' call, not hers - what, he doesn't feel bad about that? Isn't he supposed to be oh so morally responsible now?

She didn't do it on her own, in fact she ordered the missions but he is the one who carried them out. Renslayer's reaction is far more believable than Mobius'.

[justplainwhump]

Break room

The wedding, interlude

[Dany's story] [The wedding, part 1]

Wrote this very introspective piece a while ago, and think I could just post it. Referenced characters Ridley and B are @hackles-up , as always. Bride!Dany, barely holding it together.

Cw - not really. Whumpee giving up, implied non consentual marriage (f/m), implied noncon touch.

It's too much.

The stares, the words, the hands. There's soft music, soft voices, soft colours, soft fabric, but nobody cares about the harshness right under the surface.

People congratulate me with perfect smiles, how beautiful I look, how lucky I am to have found a man like Ridley. I don't know what is worse. The ones who really seem to believe in the superficial lie this marriage is, in the image he wants to paint to the public, or the ones whose lips twitch sarcastically while they hug me and whose hands wander too low on my back, because they know what I am. What he's made me into.

It won't stop. It'll never end. I'm his wife now, but I'll stay his pet. Till death do us part.

Faces blur in front of me, words turn into sound without meaning. Smile, Leo has told me, and I do, I smile and I nod and I nip on the glass of champagne in my hand that someone keeps refilling. Ridley was by my side for a while, but he isn't any longer. Doesn't matter. Someone is always watching.

"Can't wait for the next time he brings you over," a middle aged man breathes into my hair, while shaking my hand very stately. I don't remember his face, but something to his voice lets me shiver. "You were a little... stubborn last time, though. Let's hope marriage made you a little more mellow, hm."

Before I can mumble a reply, the next one in line steps up, the next stranger hugs me.

"Congratulations, Mrs Lordin," she chirps. "You must be so happy. You've won the grand prize, haven't you?"

The world is spinning. "No, I'm..." I shake my head, reach for the corner of the closest table to steady myself. Shakily, I put my glass down. "I'm sorry, please, excuse me, I... I don't feel so well."

I didn't trust my legs to carry me, but they do as I all but flee the ballroom. The washrooms are in the basement, pink marble stairs, chandeliers, and plushy carpets. Golden rimmed mirrors on the corridor walls reflect my face, pale under the precisely applied make up, barely contrasting the white dress. Diamonds sparkle around my neck and from the tiara in my hair, bright enough to distract from the dull void in my eyes.

Danielle Lordin.

A perfect trophy.

They won.

I close my eyes and rest my forehead against the cool glass of the mirror, hoping it could just swallow me, open a portal to another dimension, bring me back maybe, to reality, my reality, my life, out of this nightmare.

There is no portal.

Just me, wearing a too tight dress and a name that doesn't belong to me.

"Fuck," I whisper. It comes out as a sob. "Fuck."

I can hear faint wisps of the music from upstairs and elated voices from the bathroom. Guests, enjoying themselves, celebrating my misery. They're about to step out.

Fuck. Whoever this is, they mustn't see me cry. I hurry forward, down the corridor. "Staff only", the next door says. It opens when I turn the door knob, and I vanish into it just as the washroom door behind me swings open. My ears pressed to the door, I can hear the chattering voices turn louder for a moment and are then swallowed by the carpet, heels clicking on marble stairs, as the guests return to the party.

I exhale in relief.

"Ma'am?" I stare into the wide eyes of a young woman in a catering uniform. "Are you alright?"

For a second, I consider laughing. The last time I've been alright was almost a year ago. Before I've met Ridley Lordin. My husband, as of today.

"No," I admit. "I'm not good at all."

She bites her lip. "Aren't you... You're... the bride, right?"

I manage a smile. "What gave it away?"

She blushes. "Excuse me, ma'am, I didn't... I, uh. Can I help you with something?"

Only now do I take in the room around us. It's fairly spacious, holds some lockers, benches and cabinets. There's a bunch of plastic wrapped uniforms on a coat rack. Changing room for the staff, presumably. The girl has dropped a bag to the ground. I can make out blue jeans and a pair of sneakers in it.

She is about my size, I guess. Little shorter, little more muscular. But I could probably fit into her clothes. Change my appearance, find a back door, just walk out and away. From the ballroom, the wedding, Ridley.

She notices my gaze, I think. She looks me down as well, then frowns, softly tapping her foot against the bag.

She'd do it. I'd only have to ask.

The scars on my hand are itching horribly.

It's too late. I'm Danielle Lordin now. There's nowhere left to go. I wouldn't make it. I couldn't. Not with B on the other side, either the first one to be sent after me, or the first one to pay for my rebellion.

Not with B on the line.

"No," I say, finally, shaking my head. I'm dizzy "No, I... I just need to rest for a moment."

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I just want to put a major trigger warning to this, and say that if you don't want to answer or even read this, I totally understand. I just need to let this out of me, to someone who could possibly understand. I know no one irl who has or had an ed, nor anyone even online who is trying to recover.

I want to recover at 100%, as in eating food with no consideration for calories or ''health'' (actually just the fear of carbs and 'bad foods'), eating like anyone would, like before. I long for a normal life again, and I've evolved so much, my life could be wonderful.

I said I really wanted to do it, again. I'm in holidays, so I can try to eat more and challenge fear foods, without fearing mental breakdowns in class or guts issues, or anything. But still, it's holding me.

There is this sort of nostalgia that is coming back, my ed shouting louder and louder, grasping me and convincing me I don't want to leave this life. It's so easy, it's so comforting! Hiding behind a wall of numbers and a bunch of math, under this faint and fake vanity and superficiality, focus all my attention, all my worries on this. A perfect control. And I know it's twisted. And I know it's stupid.

A part of me just wants to destroy myself, and I hate to say that, because I know it's mean I'm not fine, when I thought I was doing so much better. It comes to me, more and more often these days, this awful fantasy of these planned meals and half empty fridge, when I'll live alone, how I would follow these poor diets, dress my frail and sick body with big rags or pretty tops, drink coffee while enjoying the agony of hunger.

Many things bring me back nowadays. Some shades of lights, some smells, some words, nothing precise, but I'm thrown in this addiction again. It feels so wrong, I hate myself for wanting this, for being like this. I feel sad and stupid, having lost myself almost willingly to this hell and still being entrapt in it. I was what, 17 when I started? Spent my 18th years old birthday crying, starving. Still restricting for my 19th. I want to cry, how can I be so stupid and just give up so much time, so much joy? Why do I want this?

I don't know what to do. How do I do? How can I toss this trash away, mourn this twisted little universe? How do I stop romantizing my slow death, how do I stop to love dying ?

I'm sorry if this is too harsh to read. I really don't want to make anyone feel bad. But I'm just here, alone, crying in my sheets, and I'm terrified of anything.

Hi, anon. I'm so sorry you've been struggling with this. This has been sitting in my ask box for a bit, just because I've been very low-spoons in my current circumstances, but I hope you are okay.

I think it's excellent that you have been pursuing goals for full recovery and that you recognize the life it could give you. However, you hit the nail on the head when you described your ED as an addiction. An ED can absolutely become an addiction, and addiction changes the brain. It creates strong triggers associated with thought patterns and memories, and these are not so easily changed or gotten rid of. It takes a lot of practice, learning which coping tools work best for you, and lots of time for the brain re-wire itself before that call to the addiction begins to lessen. For some, it never is truly "gone" but affected individuals become stronger, more skilled at navigating the triggers, and further and further along in their healing process.

You are not alone, and you do not need to beat yourself up. A lot of us who've had EDs have romanticized our sickness before, and have clung to it when we knew better. A lot of people struggling with any addiction, even those who seem to be recovering and building much better lives, still feel that strong call back to their old life. Knowing that old life was bad and destructive doesn't lessen the cravings generated in the brain, because the cravings aren't originating from the part of your brain that uses logic. It doesn't mean anything bad about you that you experience thoughts of relapse. It just means that this experience had a significant impact on your brain that is not quickly forgotten. And even knowing this, you can continue to choose recovery every time. You may even find it gets easier to do.

I'm sorry to hear you don't have anyone to compare experiences. I wonder if you could access ED-informed therapy or a support group in your area? It seems like it could really help you to have that support and solidarity, as well as a professional helping you practice utilizing tools to get through urges to relapse. If you cannot access these supports, here are some things you can do on your own: write and create art when you feel this way. Putting the feelings out there will help you understand and process them. Destroy all writings if you aren't living in a safe place, though. Sit with the feelings. Don't pretend you're not feeling them. Let yourself process them. Cry if you need to. Breathe it out. Ask yourself where these feelings came from, what they are trying to tell you, and what you need to heal. And finally, acknowledge your destructive thoughts without giving them power. The more you try to suppress them, the more they will covertly distress you. You don't have to feel guilty about having them, it's all part of the process. Let yourself understand that you are feeling a call back to your addiction, as those who suffer from addiction often do, and that you don't have to beat yourself up for the thoughts. They're thoughts, you have them, you don't need to punish yourself for them. In fact, when you learn what painful or destructive thoughts are trying to tell you about your experience, you may be able to more effectively use your healing tools to move toward the wellness you want. So have some compassion for yourself, because you deserve that wellness just as much as anyone else out there in the healing process.

[shiny-jr]

can I ask whole alphabet with lillia vanrouge? Maybe imposter au?

Warning: Yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Lilia Vanrouge.

Note: By imposter au, I'm going to assume you mean they have sentience. So the imposter au but without the imposter part. I've kind of been trying to keep it so that there would be no difference, no matter the au. It's a little difficult, but I'm managing.

Letters: A - Z 

✂ Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? 

     ✄ When you asked the universe for someone who would love you, you didn’t expect the universe to toss you a short enigmatic being that’s thousands of years old and may or may not have committed war crimes, someone who dresses like an edgy teenager and has the same interests as one, who also recently decided to try and blend in with young mages at a school. And yet here you are, now trapped with this crazy(?) old bat. 

     ✄ Lilia is a naturally caring figure. After all, he has cared for several people in his lengthy lifetime. This ancient fae is one of the most open with his feelings and plentiful in his affection. He just thinks you're simply to die for! You’re so endearing and adorable that he constantly finds himself cooing over you. Kisses, hugs, and other gestures of affection are fairly common. He enjoys surprising you this way. Pressing a big kiss against your cheek suddenly so your face heats up in embarrassment, surprising you with a hug as he appears seemingly out of nowhere, a fleeting whisper and giggle by your ear when he’s no where in sight. He loves to take in all your expressions and reactions, and besides he can’t help but tease you a teensy bit. 

     ✄ He doesn’t get worried much, but he does concern himself with your needs and wants. Although he isn’t tripping over himself to follow out your every will, he does quickly and efficiently complete your requests. He’s not desperate, particularly violent, or rash, but he’s obsessive and a little delusional. Perhaps that’s the worst part. He isn’t tiring himself out just to see you smile, he doesn’t lash out, but he’s just utterly fascinated by you. He truly believes he’s doing what’s best for you. Words can’t describe his strange form of love directed at you. He’s an enigma. Sometimes it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking or feeling. He doesn’t ever become cross at you, he treats you almost like a child that can do no wrong. But maybe that’s precisely what you are in his twisted vision. A precious youngster he must care for, whether you want his love or not. 

✂ Blood. How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

     ✄ Extremely. Let’s not forget that despite his youthful appearance, this is an ancient fae we’re talking about. He’s witnessed countless deaths, catastrophes, and wars, his hands are stained and would be overflowing with enough red to drown him. He’s a decorated veteran who's fought in many battles. Lilia can go from taking on and easily defeating a group of attackers, and in just ten seconds he’s back by your side to force convince you to lay your head on his lap and rest. 

     ✄ However, he won’t kill just to kill. He’s both strong and intelligent, so he can easily ward off any enemies with words alone. Besides, he doesn’t actually want to end a life if he doesn’t have to. He can very easily kill any troublesome people that try to interfere in affairs solely between you and him, but death isn’t needed. It’s more of a last resort, which is never needed since Lilia always gets rid of the problem one way or another. Instead, he’ll usually resort to warnings that sound vaguely threatening. Lilia will casually bring something up, a weakness of his enemy, when warning them. Something like: It would truly be a shame if your signifiant other were to discover you went missing. Believe me, I know, the thought of losing an irreplaceable loved one is simply unbearable. I’m sure you wouldn't put your own beloved in such a situation, would you~? 

✂ Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? 

     ✄ There’s a 50/50 chance that you would be kidnapped, and it’s a thing that happens on a whim. If you are abducted, well, now that your officially under his care (he was determined to make this happen, preferably when you agreed to the idea), you’ll be treated like a princess/prince. You didn’t even know it was possible for him to become more affectionate and teasing. Lilia has raised and watched his own fair share of youths, so no matter how you behave, he’s prepared. He won’t ever mock you. There’s no need to feel ashamed or frightened, this is for your own good, you know. 

     ✄ Don’t be so sad, he’ll wipe your tears away as he comforts you in your sorrow. Is this truly so bad? You’re not alone, you now have him. You also have the others he raised, Malleus, Silver, and Sebek, to keep you company and protect you whenever he’s away. This is your home now, and he’ll be your family.

✂ Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? 

This one isn’t really that big of a deal. Having Lilia around is every so slightly vexing. He tends to mess around with you a lot. It’s never enough to the point of frustrating you or making you angry, but it is tiring and even a bit annoying. It seems that he’s always trying to catch your attention in the oddest of ways, it’s practically become a game for him at this point. Even if you try so hard to ignore him, you simply can’t. He won’t let you. He just wants to bask in your attention, so why not get it with a little fun? You can’t ignore him when he appears out of nowhere, right in front of you of all places. His big deep red eyes gazing up at you with an eager twinkle in them, and since he’s so close you can’t help but notice the little fangs on his smug grin.

✂ Exposed. How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? 

     ✄ Sometimes, there will be moments where you think you figured this fae out. You may try to predict his behavior, words, or actions, only for him to do something completely unexpected. It’s like he knows, he knows that you’re trying to piece him together but he doesn’t let you, only making it harder for you to figure him out. At times you truly do believe you understand him, especially when he’s been particularly soft, like when he’s fixing your hair or humming to you. He’s genuine, he makes himself vulnerable for you but it’s as if he goes back to this unpredictable mystery as soon as you decide to end the moment. Just how much is genuine? Does he even bare his heart to you? These are all questions you’ve yet to get an answer to. 

✂ Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back? 

     ✄ Entertained, actually. When you try to fight back, argue, or do anything of the sort, he listens attentively with this smile on his face that almost feels mocking. It becomes clear that he’s hanging onto your every word, carefully watching your every move. It’s as if he’s listening to a child throw a tantrum, a kid crying over spilt milk. Still, he waits patiently until you’ve finished and he applauds your efforts! It’s humiliating, it makes you feel as if you were truly nothing by a baby whining, but these are important matters! This was your freedom you were talking about! He’ll then pat your head and smile as he asks: My my, you certainly had a lot to say and a lot of feelings bottled up, dear. Did you get everything off your chest? Was it fun? Are you calm now? There’s truly no winning this. 

✂ Game. Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? 

     ✄ Oh, no, no, of course it’s not a game...! Initially, at least. Well, it can become a game with enough provocation and insisting on leaving. Really, he tries so hard to make it comfortable for you here, he was beginning to believe that perhaps you were starting to settle in nicely, only for that not to be the case. But if this is the way you want it to be, so be it. He’ll play along until you tire yourself out and willingly return to him. Lilia will allow you to make escape attempts, just to see how your mind works and where the flaws (that allow you to get closer to escaping) he must fix are. Then when you believe you’re so close to achieving freedom, he appears to return you home, squashing your hope. You may have thought you were close to winning, but Lilia was carefully monitoring you the entire time. So truthfully, you were never once close to the freedom you desired. 

✂ Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? 

     ✄ Lilia treats you gently and he cares for you greatly, even if he is bothersome at times, he always means well. It seems like he’s never ever angry, not even when you act up against him. But he is to be feared, even though you know in your mind that he would rather stab himself than actually physically hurt you. But let’s remember, you are his dearest, no one else. Perhaps your worst experience with him, failed escape attempts and irksome teasing aside, was catching a glimpse of the violence he was capable. Again, he would never even think of lifting a blade or casting a spell against you! But others? If he must, they will not be spared. 

     ✄ Lilia had left you in the care of Sebek and Silver while Malleus kept you company. Silver was relatively understanding and easy to sneak away from given his habit of sleeping, plus he tended to trust you a bit more. Sebek was harder to shake off, but when Malleus had taken his leave for a moment, Sebek was determined to follow. You knew by now that escape was useless, especially since Lilia would be back any moment now. However, there was something you wanted to see. Both Lilia and Malleus had warned you to not check the orb today, a magical crystal ball the ancient fae had gifted you so you could see him whenever you missed him (like that would happen). But for the first time, you were tempted to use it to satisfy your curiosity. Now that Silver was peacefully dozing off, and Sebek with Malleus were out of the room, it was the perfect opportunity to check the crystal ball. Carefully approaching it, you stared at your reflection before murmuring, show me Lilia. And just like that, you saw him in the orb. All you saw was red on his fists as he stood over the figure of a stranger that lay still in an unnatural position, before a hand from behind you quickly enveloped the orb, blocking you from seeing the rest. It caused you to jump, the sight you saw for a split second making you feel dread. The hand had belonged to Malleus, and he merely gazed down at you while speaking, “Understand that a being like him who’s lived for many millennia and has done many deeds in his lifetime, will have enemies. Enemies that will find out about you and kill you if given the chance, as you are his weakness and you cannot defend yourself. So for your own sake and his, listen the next time he instructs you to do something.”

✂ Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? 

     ✄ A peaceful simple kind of life is all he wants. In his eyes, it will be short due to the fact that you're human and he’s fae, he knows that, and it kills him. But he tries to live in the moment, the way he’s always lived. So he doesn’t think too much of the future. Although nothing would make him happier than seeing you learn to accept him with all his strangeness and begin to get along with those he had a hand in raising. If you could get along with his son Silver, learn to tolerate Sebek with that prideful nature of his, and even become friends with prince Malleus, then he would be satisfied. 

     ✄ After that...? He’s not sure what he’ll do after. He doesn’t even want to think about it. He doesn’t want to force tortuous forbidden spells on you that would destroy your humanity in exchange to let you live longer, but at the same time he hates the thought of a world without you. There are legends and stories of reincarnation... perhaps he’d dedicate all his time and effort into finding you again.

✂ Jealousy. Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? 

     ✄ No, actually, which may not be that surprising. In fact, you’ve never seen the ancient fae get jealous before. Lilia is confident in himself. He’s also a bit showy, so even in the public eye, he won’t hesitate to nestle into your side and have your arm around his shoulder or float behind you with his arms wrapped around your neck like a scarf as he nearly hangs off you. It’s clear that he’s trying to signal that he’s yours and vice versa, and it’s especially obvious judging by his self-satisfied grin. 

✂ Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling?

     ✄ Playful and doting. When you are present, his toothy smile will be constant and he becomes a bit more mischievous. He’ll keep up appearances in public... sort of. Not really though, unless you insist. But it incredibly obvious that he’s involved with you, as if the close lingering touches and the innocent batting of his eyelashes he gives you aren’t signs enough. In private, it’s as if his affection increases even more. He’ll urge you to sit on his lap as he games on his pc; when he has his face against the crook of your neck and you least expect it, he’ll blow raspberries just to startle you or make you laugh; or in more peaceful times he’ll simply hold you in his arms as he talks about anything and everything. 

✂ Love letters. How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

     ✄ Honestly, you probably should have seen this coming from a mile away, before the romantic gestures there were pink/red flags. After all, sometimes this fae has no filter, he just speaks his mind. There was always something he’d say that was off, too many compliments, but you simply brushed them off as him being kind. That is until the letters began arriving. See, Lilia is old, and he’ll admit that he greatly prefers courting through the traditional manner. Actually, it helps him gain your attention, because who doesn’t appreciate bouquets of flowers, long letters sealed with sweet smelling wax, and his attempts at serenading you by screeching singing a song he practiced in his club? It’s probably safe to say that you were intrigued by his attempts, and perhaps even interested in reciprocating. You needn’t know about the darker details of his growing obsession with you. This is all going so well! This is where the 50/50 chance of kidnapping you or maintaining a seemingly normal (as normal as it is to date an ancient being) relationship comes into play. 

✂ Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? 

     ✄ No, actually. The Lilia everyone else knows is the same Lilia you know, except you see him as far more affectionate. He has nothing to hide. At least, that’s what he says, but he’s still a mystery to you and most everyone else. Anyways, the only time he may act different, is if someone is a real threat to you. This can’t just be anyone, it takes someone powerful for him to take on this frightening persona, and you won’t see how quickly he goes from cooing over you to plotting this enemy’s death and where to hide the body.

✂ Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

     ✄ Punish you? No, no, no! Come now, he wouldn’t to that.

✂ Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

     ✄ He wouldn’t. I mean, he could, he most certainly could limit your freedom, but he wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. Besides, it’s not like you can get very far anyways, whether he be there or it be the others. Please, believe him, he truly only wants the best for you. He doesn’t want to upset you, so he won’t risk it by taking away your rights. He’s seen how people have withered without certain rights and freedoms, and he doesn’t want that for you. The most he’ll do as punishment, is lecture you.

✂ Patience. How patient are they with their darling? 

     ✄ Very. Extremely. His level of patience must be as long as his life, it’s astounding. No matter what you do or what you say, he won’t ever snap. In fact, he only continues to smile at your pathetic efforts, which makes you begin to lose your temper. There is nothing you can do that will cause his patience to dwindle. You aren’t sure if he has the patience of a saint or if he’s just keeping face so you won’t win, but you’re starting to think that the answers leans more towards the former. It seems that he almost knows what you’re thinking when you wonder if it’s a calm facade of some sort, and his content little smile turns to somewhat taunting. As if daring you to try and get him to crack. It felt as if his eyes were telling you: Go ahead, tire yourself out, it’ll be cute to see you try~

✂ Quit. If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? 

     ✄ Escape? Not happening. Leaving? He won’t let you. But death? Death is practically certain. It’s almost guaranteed that Lilia will outlive you. He’ll mourn like anyone else would, but then he’ll quickly wipe his tears and get to work. What’s he doing? Why, trying to find you again, of course! He never particularly believed in or paid attention to the stories of reincarnation in the past, but now he’s researching endlessly. To him it doesn’t feel like you’re truly gone, it just feels like you’re on a lengthy vacation and he’ll see you again soon. The thought of reuniting again fills him with such joy, it makes his heart throb just like it used to when you began exchanging love letters. The reminder that perhaps you’re out there somewhere again, is enough to keep him going until he finds you. 

✂ Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? 

     ✄ No, he feels no remorse. This was for the best, it was for you. It was necessary, for your wellbeing. Here with him you would be safe, you could be happy too. There is no letting go. He wishes to spend as much time as possible with you, he wants to treasure every single moment and create as many memories with you as humanely possible. Please, grant him this wish. 

✂ Stigma. What brought about this side of them? 

     ✄ Like previous times, I’ll answer this one the same. It depends on the au. 

✂ Tears. How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? 

     ✄ Oh dear, oh dearest, oh darling, don’t cry! Lilia has this unexplainable ability to comfort and calm those around him, whenever he sets his mind to it. You’re no exception. He using his thumb to wipe away your salty tears, and he’s still smiling. It isn’t mocking, but rather, it’s a soft and gentle smile that soothes you. He slowly shakes his head at your state, speaking softly to you. He isn’t teasing you, or mocking you, but he’s genuinely comforting you with kind words of comfort. Using his magic, he got a box of tissues to float closer and a warm cup of your favorite beverage set itself in front of you. Come, tell him what’s caused your sadness. He’s a wise being, so he’ll come up with suitable solutions. There’s always the chance that he caused it, the stress of the sudden change may be too much. If it is, he won’t mind, he’ll simply have to try harder to make this place more homey for you. He’ll simply have to do everything in his power to make you happy here. 

✂ Unique. Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

     ✄ Let’s see... Lilia gives you a lot of freedom, in fact, you have actually freedom. You’re simply being monitored wherever you go and whatever you do. Which is still surprising, considering that he may or may not have kidnapped you. For a yandere, it’s rare for them to be so lenient and forgiving. Especially considering that Lilia’s form of punishment is lecturing. 

✂ Vice. What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

     ✄ Escape? Haha. Funny. Yeah, noooo. But, if you want something you can just ask. If you’d prefer the more roundabout way, you can simply leave little hints lying around. Lilia quickly pieces it together and he catches on swiftly, he’s amused and will give in to practically anything you ask for, except leaving, of course. But anything else? Consider it done and yours. 

✂ Wit’s end. Would they ever hurt their darling?

     ✄ No. Never. As stated before, he’d rather hurt himself than ever hurt you. If he had to choose between causing you a bit of physical pain or give himself ten times that amount of pain you would’ve felt, he’d choose to brace the pain himself every single time. 

✂ Xoanon. How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

     ✄ Lilia adores you. He reveres you like royalty, and you would know. After all, you know how the ancient fae is with the literal prince of the valley. Because Lilia is so well respected in the valley, he’s able to afford luxuries for you. You practically live in the palace, any silly or stupid demand will be carried out, and every day he will always remind you of the love he holds for you. Winning you over is important to him, but your safety and happiness are first and foremost. Once he’s sure you’re somewhere safe and you’re slowly adjusting to the environment, only then will he focus on winning you over. 

✂ Yearn. How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

     ✄ Does not snap. However, the longest he’ll pine after you before resorting to traditional fae kidnapping, is one year at most. Why? Because as mentioned before, he wishes to spend as much time as possible with you. That’s why! Human lives are so short and fragile, so he has to make the most of it!

✂ Zenith. Would they ever break their darling?

     ✄ Can one be broken with love? Well, maybe, but Lilia won’t break you. He’s much too gentle and careful with you for that. Please, try to understand this fae. He truly loves you like he’s never loved anyone before. It’s an intense and overwhelming sort of love, something he’s never experienced before and he knows is not normal but he can’t resist. You make him happy, and he wants to make you happy. So won’t you learn to accept this old soul and his fantastical odd ways? 

[tiddytrashcan]

Everytime I think I understand the degree to which Ursula K. LeGuin Got It™ she hits me with another life revelation

[solemg]

Often, I hear/see the opinion that Nagato is a weak, shy boy who will give everything to his friend Yahiko, just like Konan.

Lol. This is ridiculous. Most simply forgot how Nagato communicated with Konan after the death of Yahiko, forgot that it was he who ruled the Land of Rain with an iron hand for 20 years, despite the terrible physical and mental state.

He is quite an emotionally sensitive person, but between sensitivity and weakness there is a big request, and it is Nagato's becoming the most cruel and merciless of the three that is most logical.

He hate people. True misanthropy.

Because it was he who killed a man at the age of 10, it was he who put up with a force that he could not control, it was he who doubted the methods of achieving the goal, it was he who survived three wars, saw the deaths of all his loved ones and, although he came down with mind, but did not repent, but only told Naruto that he would try to believe in Naruto. He does not believe Jiraiya - also his words (what means Naruto words)

You are see pain in his eyes? Pain of absolutely helpless? For precisely helplessness is what such a person will feel. A disabled person, located between giant countries that can attack at any moment, and no matter how strong you are, you will not be able to cope. .and literally the very feeling of helplessness is about Nagato's whole life, even his image of "God", which primarily implies justice.

Of course, then we see the simplest technique with pressure on guilt. Although it was Jiraiya who was the one who systematically drove Nagato crazy.

Jiraiya is essentially almost an emotional obsession for Nagato. He is the one who gave Nagato a sense of security and confidence. Guilt, self-disappointment... the classic narcissistic loop brought up in Nagato...

I really feel sorry for this character

Because he is a good character. He is similar to Tai Lung from Kungfu Panda, Azula from Avatar, Kuvira, but with a much calmer personality. A sort of Oliver Twist and Azula in one bottle 😂.

He is the victim of a bad upbringing. Circle of bad education. It all started with the Third Hokage, and ended with the elderly Jiraiya and Naruto (during the time of the second there were wars, it's hard to blame him). From the age of 10, he was prepared for a specific goal, he was actively pushed to this by the environment (and yes, the dream of ending wars is not Yahiko's dream, Yahiko just wanted to do what he wanted, but Konan ... where the men go and Konan... deity thing too, lol)

The tragedy of Nagato is not the tragedy of one person losing another, no.

This is the tragedy of someone who every day sees how others around him, innocent of anything, are trampled into the mud, other people's lives and dreams are trampled into the mud. This is real hell on earth.

HE ruled the Land of Rain for 20 years, raised her from her knees, defended her as best she could. And after that, someone will turn his tongue to call him weak?

What is interesting is that even after his death, Nagato did not change his authoritarian habits, Because this is not a request, but an order.

Speaking of Obito... he's the only one who understands Nagato.moreover, he is extremely careful with his body (even where it is essentially not necessary: ​​careful touches on the chest and arm are clearly not needed), Obito does not offend Nagato, respects him, but he does not put Konan in anything. I think Obito perfectly understands what Nagato's life was like. And what does anyone have, but Nagato's life is like hell.

/And yet, unfortunately, there is a restriction on the use of pictures, but still we remember Obito's words that Nagato adhered to the "Eye of the Moon" plan?

So, what's the point of lying to Nagato to Obito? None. It makes more sense for him to tell the truth. .which probably means that for some reason of his own, Nagato abandoned the "Eye of the Moon" plan, developed his own (aka MAD), and only in words pretended to obey (which, given the fact that he is a former orphan and is more of a trick, too logical). .

[wardenparker]

Necessary Arrangements: ch 4

Will Miller x female Reader A Princess Diaries inspired Triple Frontier AU Co-written with @steeevienicks​

Upon returning from Colombia with one fewer member of his former special forces team, Will Miller is met with the revelation that his absent father is dying and Will is expected to take over the family business. Which would be fine, if the family business weren’t the running of an entire small nation. This is Will’s chance to start over and do some good in the world - but how will he cope with his new life and the woman he is supposed to spend it with?

Rating: Teen, but as always this blog is 18+! Word Count: 9.9k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series include family death, cursing, and food descriptions.*  The usual cursing, food, and fluff here. Mention of break ups and of Frankie’s addiction issue, but nothing too heavy. Summary: The Delta boys descend on the royal palace, and some of them might start to get comfortable in Freidlyn a lot faster than they ever thought.  Notes: Love is in the air and we are making absolutely no apologies for it 💖

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3

The next day feels like an unruly marathon despite how orderly it is. The morning church service ended up being a free-for-all of paparazzi trying to get photographs of the new king, and when Will had instinctively reached for your hand to bring you inside the building away from the flashing bulbs, chaos had ensued.

At least his friends’ travel plans had all gone steadily. The private jet normally reserved for diplomats or special visitors had been dispatched last night so it could land in North Carolina and refuel before the morning. All three men and little baby Xiomara Morales were safely on board and on schedule. Almost all of Will’s day after arriving back at the palace has been spent with the royal tailor being precisely measured and fitted, or with the palace interior designer, saying yes or no to the hundreds of tiny decisions about what the redecoration of his suite will look like. It is immense, and by the time you appear in his sitting room at half past five, he looks like his eyes are about to cross from being overwhelmed. “I’m very sorry to interrupt, Madame Tetroux, but his Majesty needs to change for dinner. His guests will be arriving soon.”

Will perks up at that. This day had been a lot for sure, and while he was prepared for paparazzi that morning, he was not prepared for that many. Will gets up and goes over to the closet, his suit hung up and ready to be worn to dinner. It fits like a glove, and he can’t help but admire how it looks in the full-length mirror. The pants and jacket are black and the white button up and green tie complete the look. This is definitely the most expensive thing he has ever put on his body. He grabs the emerald cufflinks from a little wooden box and walks out of his closet to where you’re sitting. “Could you help me with these?” He asks timidly.

“Of course.” Cuff links are easy enough for a second person, and you settle them in place quickly. “You know, it might make your life easier if you took on a valet sooner rather than later,” you hum, straightening his tie just a smidge. “Let someone else pick out your clothes and make sure you don’t have a tag sticking out by accident? It’s one less thing to worry about.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” He chuckles. “Do I look okay? I like the suit, but I’ve never worn anything so…perfect before. So I feel a little…I don’t know. Uncomfortable? No, that’s not it. Out of place, maybe? Which, ha, I shouldn’t be considering all of this.” He thinks once he sees his friends, he won’t feel so strange, like having familiar faces will put him at ease. “You look beautiful, by the way.” He glances up and down noticing the dress you have on for the evening. Fitting perfectly and the shimmer of your jewelry suiting your skin tone and eyes beautifully.

"You look very handsome." And that is the absolute honest truth without a hint of embellishment. "If it helps, try to think of these clothes as your uniform, for now. I'm sure you were uncomfortable in your uniform when you first joined the military, but you grew used to it. This is no different." With a small smirk, you lift up your ankle a little to show him your high heeled shoe. "These have been a part of my uniform for so long that I barely ever feel pain from them anymore."

“I don’t know how you ladies ever get used to those death traps, but I have to say they look very good.” He’s always admired a woman in heels, no matter how much it hurt his ankles just looking at them. “That’s a good point though. I was uncomfortable in those scratchy uniforms at first but after a while you just kind of forget about it. See, this is one of the many reasons I need you around – you just make things make sense to me.”

"Probably the most uncomfortable you'll be in your own clothes from now on is when you have to wear a dress uniform." There is a small piece of lint on the lapel of his suit that you pick away easily, offering him an encouraging smile. "Although that will be at both our wedding and coronation, so I promise in advance to make sure you have your favourite things to sleep in when you finally get to sleep those nights." You have no intention of breaching the topic of sharing a bed, but you can at least make sure he is taken care of. Consummation will happen whenever it happens. You've only known each other for two days.

“What would I do without you, Plum?” He asks. He has also thought about sleeping arrangements, but isn’t sure how or when to bring that up to you. Ultimately deciding that it would be your choice whether or not the two of you would share a bed. “Seriously, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for how kind and gracious you’ve been these last few days. I probably seem like a fuckin’ idiot, but I’m trying, and I’ve actually been learning a lot.” He grabs your hand from where you’ve been picking the small pieces of lint off his label and brings your hand to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss there. There’s a moment where the two of you are quiet, just looking into each other’s eyes; a peaceful moment in the chaos of the last two days…which is interrupted by a brisk knock on his door.

“Sire? Your guests have arrived.” It’s Minna.

“Thank you, Mlle. Thorn.” The spell of the moment is broken just like that, and you offer the other woman a grateful smile. She has been working herself ragged since the car accident and you are more appreciative of her help than you can say. “We’ll be down directly.” If you can have just one more stolen moment of his sweetness, you will certainly take it.

“Are you ready to meet my brother and friends?” Will asks, squeezing your hand one last time before letting go. Out of habit now he offers his arm for you to take, smiling when your arm loops through his perfectly. “If they ask something you don’t feel comfortable answering, please just tell them to fuck off. They’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be slightly more articulate than that, but I don’t have any trouble expressing myself.” You tease, offering him an encouraging grin. The walk from the residential wing of the palace to the formal dining room takes a few minutes but you and Will are both brisk walkers when you have reason to be. He’s excited to see them, that’s obvious, and to be honest you find it very sweet. Now all you can do is pray they like you.

Benny, Frankie, Xi, and Santi have been escorted to the dining hall – all of them, except Xi, who is passed out on her father’s shoulder – are looking around with wide eyes. None of them have ever seen anything like this in real life before, and never imagined a place like this actually existed.

“I told you I wasn’t bullshitting.” Will laughs as he walks up and hugs each of his friends and brother. “Thank you for coming. It’s good to see you all.”

“This is—” Benny would normally whistle but he doesn’t want to wake Xi, so he just blows out a long breath. “This is un-fucking-believable. No wonder Mom was always so cagey about your dad when we used to ask. Jesus…”

“Yeah, can’t say that I blame her.” Will laughs, patting his brother on the back. “I don’t think either of us would have kept quiet about this place had we known when we were kids. How was the flight?”

“Beat the hell out of every bare bones transport we ever took,” Frankie laughs. “Xi didn’t like take off, but we took turns reading and playing with her and she knocked out somewhere over the Atlantic. Woke up again over England and we started the whole thing again. Now she’s…” He shrugs a little bit but is careful not to disturb his sleeping angel. “She always falls asleep on a car ride. It works like a charm.”

“I’m glad little miss got some sleep. Hope you did too.” Will smiles as he holds his arms out for the small baby. A gesture that makes your heart flutter. He takes Xi in his arms and cuddles her against his broad chest – he looks like a natural with her, and she settles into him quickly. “Someone missed their Uncle Will.”

The quiet moment is the right one, you decide, and extend your hand to Will’s younger half-brother, introducing yourself informally and knowing that formalities will come later. “I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about you,” you tell him honestly.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Benny says as he steps forward to hug you. He wraps his arms around you like he’s afraid that if he squeezes too tight, you’ll break and says your name. “You’re stunning. My brother is a lucky guy.”

“That’s very sweet of you.” The fact that he ignored your hand and hugged you instead speaks volumes to you about his willingness to embrace his brother’s new roll and you give his shoulders a slight squeeze in return. “I’m afraid you’ll be seeing rather a lot of me in the weeks to come. Your brother and I have quite a lot to discuss with you.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Benny chuckles. “I’m looking forward to getting to know all about you and,” he gestures around him, “all of this. This is so cool.” He turns to Frankie and Pope. “These are our friends – Frankie Morales and Santiago Garcia.”

Both men offer their hands to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, su Majestad.” Santi winks. “You’re beautiful.”

“It’s still your Ladyship until next month.” You tell him with a grin, so very thankful that they seem to be excepting and embracing everything with ease now threat they know it isn’t a prank. “I’m afraid there is rather a lot to talk about, but I’m so glad you could all come.”

“I’ll be honest, Will and Benny had me for a while.” Santi admits. “But after being picked up in that plane? Wow. Sorry for doubting you, hermano but to be fair they’ve pulled fake wife pranks before when we were in basic together, so…” He laughs.

“I’m afraid there’s nothing fake about me.” The friendship they all have is something that will be to Will’s great advantage in the coming weeks, you’re sure of that. He will need their support.

“Excellent. Frank, you gonna say hi or are you going to keep looking around like a lost puppy?” He teases. “Frank’s the quiet one of the groups so he shouldn’t give you much trouble.” Santi squeezes your shoulder before stepping back and nudging Frankie forward.

“Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Frankie says quietly. He’s overwhelmed, it’s easy to see, but he’s trying his best to make a good impression.

“Thank you for making the trip.” You shake his hand firmly, something he seems surprised by, but you find out a moment later that it’s only a surprise because he, too, is a hugger. “I know travel with a child isn’t easy, but please if there is anything you or she needs, do not hesitate to ask. I’ve arranged for her to have a place in the palace daycare whenever it is needed for as long as you are here.” When the door to the sitting room opens once more, Will’s mother and Elsie are announced, and you practically grin at your friend. She loves the rare occasion of a formal dinner because the kitchens are amazing, and also because she gets to pull out her best dresses. Even with the palace in mourning, a simple gown is always beautiful. “You’ll all know Sandy Miller,” you guess, watching Benny light up and give his mother a hug. “Elsie is the palace’s head librarian. And my best friend, so if you want the truly silly stories of my youth, she is where you get them.”

The boys all flock to Sandy, wrapping her in their arms and offering condolences and forehead kisses. As far as she’s concerned, these are all her sons and she’s so happy to see them. “Thank you for coming, boys. It means a lot to us that you were able to drop everything and make it all the way out here, now give me that baby.” She makes a silly grabbing motion at Frankie holding his daughter.

Frankie looks away from Sandy and Xi and notices Elsie standing in the background near you. Even in heels, she’s short and her soft black dress fits her wonderfully. She has dark hair, big green eyes and the prettiest smile he had ever seen. She looked as nervous as he felt. “Hello, everyone.” She raises her hand in a small wave. “Welcome to Freidlyn.”

“Put your tongue back in your mouth, Fish.” Pope chuckles under his breath as you lead his friends further into the room, exchanging words with a man in a uniform as you go.

“Let’s all go through to dinner,” you suggest, knowing that talking over food is always infinitely less awkward. “I’m sure our travelers will be happier once they have a glass of wine and a solid meal in their bellies.”

They all agree – they had been offered food on the plane, but that had been hours ago and they were starving. They follow you to the main dining room, eyeing the ornate carvings and decorations along the walls.

“So how are you feeling?” Benny asks as he walks a few steps behind his brother.

“Surprisingly okay,” Will says. “There’s still a lot that needs to be done and I still feel like I’m in over my head, but Plum here has been such a big help.” He smiles at you.

“Plum, huh?” Benny chuckles.

“When he was four, Klaus and I took him to see the royal ballet perform The Nutcracker.” Sandy explains, a melancholy smile softening her features. “He told me he wanted to marry a fairy one day.” The kindness in her eyes turns to you and her smile deepens just a little. “So I think Sugarplum is a very fitting nickname.”

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” Elsie giggles, imagining this giant, broad man as a small boy, eyes alight with wonder and the magic of the Nutcracker. “I’ve always thought you were a fairy princess.” She says to you, nudging you with her shoulder gently. “We all think it’s a good nickname.”

“Who’s ‘we all’?” You ask Elsie, raising an eyebrow when you look down the table at her where she is sitting in the other side of Will’s brother.

“Oh, me, Minna, Lisette, Sandy.” Elsie lists off. She gives you a smirk, “And apparently everyone else at this table.” She says as she lifts her wine glass to her lips.

“I knew you would get Lisette in on this.” You groan softly, offering Will an apologetic expression. “Our other close school friend is one of the palace pastry chefs. Those amaretti cookies you loved last night? They are one of her specialties.”

“My compliments to her.” He says. “So if at any point I wanted more…all I’d have to do is ask her? And she’d just make them?” He laughs, taking a bite of the first course.

“Yes,” Elsie says as she spreads the cloth napkin over her lap. “She’s always willing to bake treats for anyone at the palace. I think she’s more passionate about baking than I am about books, and I love books. Clearly.”

“Good, I think I’ll want another batch soon.” Will smirks.

“She made the petit fours for tonight’s dessert course,” you tell him, grinning when Will lights up with excitement. “And truly, you know all you have to do is ask for anything and it will be provided. I know you’re still getting used to that, but it’s true.”

******

Dinner continues to go well, everyone laughing and exchanging stories. Will had learned that you had quite a wild streak in your early teens and had snuck out multiple times with Lisette and Elsie and another friend when you should have been studying for exams. You had flushed wildly when Elsie told the story, reliving the memories with your friends. Minna had joined later in the evening after the final course to remind everyone of where their rooms would be located and offered to take them herself if need be.

“I will take you up on that.” Santi smiles at her. You noticed the look on her face when she saw Santi and smiled, raising your eyebrows and nodding at Elsie to see how he had seemingly affected her.

“Great, I will be right outside when you’re ready.” Minna offers Santiago Garcia a smile perceptibly warmer than her usual.

“Bro…she’s cute.” Benny jabbed his side. “Don’t be a dickhead.”

“Me? I would never.” Santi huffed.

“She is also his Majesty’s personal assistant, so please be on your best behavior.” The last thing Will needed was to lose a remarkable assistant like Minna because of a temporary affair, but you’re also not their – or her – mother. “That being said? Her favorite flower is tulips and sending an occasional snack to her office with a note would do wonders for someone interested in her.”

“She has never said no to chocolate.” Elsie pipes up. “I have a stash of cute little greeting cards in my desk if you’d like one.”

“Chocolate, snacks, tulips. Got it.” Santi says as he snaps his fingers and looks to where Minna had walked away. “Anything else?”

“Just be kind. She works very hard and deserves nothing but the best.” Elsie responds. “She also appreciates people being direct – she doesn’t care for…what’s that phrase? Oh! ‘Beating around the bush’.”

“Behave yourself, Santiago.” Sandy pats his arm in her most maternal fashion. “Will needs that girl. She’s been invaluable.”

“I really, really do.” Will says. “So please, for the love of this kingdom and my sanity, do not fuck this up.”

Santi rolls his eyes and crosses his heart. “You guys really need to have more faith in me.” He laughs.

“Well, we would, but…” Frankie chimes in, leaving the sentence hanging in the air. “We like giving you shit too much.” He decides to leave Colombia out of this. This is a time of celebration and starting a new chapter. For more than one of them, potentially.

“If only all of us could hang out together, outside of this.” Benny said absentmindedly, bringing his fork to his mouth. “Could be fun to let loose with you all.”

“We have a hard week ahead of us.” You tell him honestly, sipping the glass of port that was served with your dessert. “Once we’ve passed the funeral and Parliament’s formal announcements, then I’m sure we can arrange something.”

“Sounds good.” Benny says. “Can’t wait to do some exploring. This place is incredible.”

“I can arrange for someone from the palace staff to give you all a tour tomorrow morning, if you would like? After breakfast?” If you knew more about the history of this particular palace you would do it yourself, but there are literal professionals who have dedicated themselves to the study, so you won’t insult them by trying. “The king will be occupied for about an hour with the royal portraitist, but at least it’s just photographs for now. Sitting for a painting is excruciatingly boring.”

“I can do it!” Elsie volunteers. “I have two hundred years’ worth of knowledge tucked away and I have time tomorrow morning. A lot of the staff will want to be present for the portraits so they can get a glance at the new king, and I already know what he looks like so…” She offers, hopeful for this opportunity to get to know Will’s friends better, especially Frankie.

“King.” Benny shakes his head at his brother. “I still can’t believe that.”

“Thank you, Els.” If she weren’t so far away, you would reach to squeeze her hand, but you still offer her an appreciative smile. “I have a round of interviews tomorrow that I already wish was over with, so unfortunately I won’t be able to join you.”

“It’s no problem, really.” Elsie puckers her lips and blows you a kiss. “I figure we’d do the rose gardens, orchards, and the main throne room as well as my library. That should take up a good amount of time during the portraits and interviews.” She glances at her phone. “If you’ll excuse me though, I have some reports to prepare for this historic event. Goodnight, everyone.” She gives a smile before turning and leaving the dining room. Elsie always was a busy body, ever since you could remember.

“She is adorable,” Santi comments. “Bet she has a lot of great stories about this place. So," he hums your name. "What do you think of our boy so far?"

“I’m assuming you mean as a man and not as a king?” You raise an eyebrow in Santi’s direction. He’s a straight shooter – as the phrase goes – and you appreciate that about him. It would be easy to just suck up incessantly and heap overt praise on his friend, but his compliments are never empty and his praise always accompanied by anecdotal evidence. “I know the concept of an arranged marriage isn’t easy to wrap your head around in the twenty-first century.” You tell the group of Americans. “But please understand that Will has my absolute loyalty and support. They say that a successful marriage of any kind is built on trust, and a successful arranged marriage is one where you become close friends, with a bond greater than any temporary passion.” The man in question sits to your left at the head of the table, and when you look back over at him you can see the smile on his face. “I don’t think it is a stretch to say that we are friends already. And that bond can only get stronger with time.”

“I have full confidence that this girl right here is going to be the greatest friend I’ll ever have in my entire life,” he reaches for your hand. “Sorry guys.” He hopes it will be more one day, he really does, but he won’t push it – Will would never dream of making you uncomfortable.

“You’re saying all the right things, sweetheart.” Santi smiles at you and raises his glass. “While I can’t say I understand it, I do support this. Will, you know I love giving you shit but I can honestly say I know you’re a great leader and that you’ll do great things. To you.” He toasts. Everyone else raises their glass as well. Even Xi sees her father raise his and follows suit by slightly raising her little fist in the air, making everyone laugh.

“Long live King William.” Is your reply, with your glass raised in the air. It is a toast you will be making for many decades to come – hopefully – and you will never miss the opportunity for it.

“Long live King William!” Everyone toasts. Will smiles, feeling the love flow through the room. With you and the people he cherishes the most in the room, he’s confident he can do this.

******

Breakfast the next morning is an event, the informal serving in the small dining room apparently a much more comfortable time for the king’s friends. The late king’s valet had agreed to return to his position under King Klaus’s son, so wardrobe was no longer an issue to be dealt with, and the housekeeper had menus for the rest of the week laid at your place at the breakfast table to be approved. “I’ll be approving the menu for the state dinner after the funeral tonight.” You tell Will as his friends begin to chat amongst themselves and coo over baby Xi. “Unless you have any objection, I’d like to make it a menu of your father’s favourite things.”

“I think a menu of all his favorite things is a good choice. A small way to honor him.” Will smiles before yawning. He had stayed up late with his friends last night, catching up and playing cards. You, of course, were the hot topic over the many games of poker. Everyone had been thoroughly impressed with you and were excited that you would be at Will’s side.

“Stayed up late with your friends?” You glance around at the trio but don’t make it obvious that you’re talking about them.

“Oh yeah. I won so many pretzel sticks though.” He chuckles. “I’ll be sure to share the wealth with you if you ever find yourself needing airplane baggies for a snack. How was your night?”

“I went through Elsie’s coronation research, reviewed applications for a lady’s maid and an assistant, and signed off on having the things from my apartment moved into my suite. I’m leaving all my furniture with Elsie in the apartment, so it won’t be as much of an ordeal.” You had been exhausted by the time you got into bed, but getting the work done was essential. Your own assistant starts today and you’ll need them just as much as Will needs Minna.

“Wow. That’s…way more than we did. If you need stuff moved over me and the guys can help.” He offers, knowing they would not say no to helping you out. “Santi had a lot of questions about Miss Thorn and Frankie blushed like crazy when their tour with Elsie was brought up, so, that should be interesting to see if anything happens there. That’s allowed, right? Or are there rules for staff and…regular people?”

“There are rules of conduct for staff and royalty, but nothing otherwise. Your father lifted most of the remaining rules when his valet – your valet – fell in love with the prince’s governess. It would have been a scandal if the king hadn’t blessed the marriage.” And even that was fifteen years ago. Attitudes have greatly relaxed since then, thankfully. “It all has to do with the ability to balance life and work. It just so happens that Minna and Elsie have more demanding jobs than most.”

“I can’t imagine what that’s like to have those roles, but I can tell they love their jobs. I’m glad they’re on our team.” He pauses, “Pope will definitely shoot his shot with Minna but Frankie? I’m not sure. He’s shy and embarrassed about what’s going on with him, so I’m sure he’ll just pine from afar.” He shrugs sadly. Frankie didn’t deserve what he had gone through after Colombia. “If it works out though, I’ll be happy for them. If not, I’ll make sure it doesn’t affect anything going on here.”

“I admire and fear Minna in ways I cannot quite say.” You laugh softly, shaking your head. “But Elsie is my best friend in the world. Frankie seems like a nice man, and whatever they choose to start is up to them, but I will protect her to the ends of the earth.” The way you tilt your head at him is an honest question and nothing more. “Is there anything she should be aware of? A divorce is nothing to be embarrassed by.”

“You’re a good friend, Plum.” He takes your hand. “Frankie’s situation is…tough. We kind of think he only married Jess because he felt like he had to. She gave him an ultimatum and then she got pregnant, so he felt like he was doing the right thing for the baby. I think what bothers him the most is that she up and left while he was gone, and he came back to a completely empty house. Jess just…packed her shit and dropped the baby with Frankie’s mom.” He sighs. “He’s had some addiction stuff too and lost his pilot’s license because of it so he’s not working right now, but he’s trying. That little girl is his entire world and…I don’t know, I think he’s embarrassed because he’s 42 and just lost everything. He’s a good man, he just feels lost right now. I don’t know Elsie’s situation, but I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he’s looking at her.” Will smiles sadly. “That was a lot, I’m sorry. Short answer – yes, but he’s working on it.”

“Els hasn’t had it easy, romance wise.” Holding your coffee cup delicately in front of your mouth to keep the conversation discreet, you turn to give Will your full attention. “She was engaged after college. The wedding was half planned, dress bought, invitations sent, everything. And then she caught him cheating. It pretty much destroyed her confidence for romance for a long time. She’s only just starting again.”

“Poor girl,” Will hums, adding some sugar into his coffee. “All Fish wants is a happily ever after. I know he can seem tough and grizzly looking on the outside, but that man just wants someone to come home to every night. He’s always said that caring for him is a chore, and he needs someone that won’t make him feel that way and now with the baby…it might be harder for him, especially because she’s so young.”

“She’s young, but doesn’t lack maturity.” Twenty-eight must seem forever ago to Frankie – possibly even to Will – but you don’t let that stop you from running your thumb reassuringly over the back of his hand. “And Xiomara is a delight, not a chore. Anyone who would leave that little girl behind doesn’t deserve her, or her father.”

“She’s precious and deserves absolutely everything in the world. Really the only good thing to come out of that relationship. Jess was just…cruel to him; used to hold Xiomara over his head constantly. I can see him and Elsie together, but they need to figure that out for themselves.” He smiles again. “When the time for children comes for us, I will love them unconditionally. They’ll never go a day doubting they have their daddy’s whole heart.”

“How odd do they think it is?” You ask him honestly, glancing at his friends again. They must have talked about you last night – if you had sat up with Elsie and Lisette, he certainly would have been the main topic of conversation the whole time, too. “For your sake I would truly prefer that they not dislike me…I’m just not quite sure what to do besides show them you have my loyalty.” If one day he was also to carry your heart, it would be a miracle worth celebrating in marriages like yours. That he already has your affection is more than you could have asked for.

“They do think the situation is strange, but they have nothing but good things to say about you. They think you’re wonderful and so do I.” A lightbulb goes off in Will’s head. “…Would there be any way for all of us to spend some time together off the property after the funeral? Like go to a pub or something? I think they’d really enjoy that.”

“If Minna finds out I helped you sneak out of the palace, I am toast.” Frowning at the idea of disappointing him has far more to do with the fact that you’ve finally admitted to yourself that you’re smitten with the man than saying ‘no’ to a king. “Give me a little time to work on her…pitch the idea as letting you get to know your people informally. I don’t think I can manage to have us free of guards, but I think I can talk her down to a couple of guards in plain clothes. Would that…be something you might enjoy?”

“Well, I don’t want to risk you getting in trouble, so whatever you think is best for us.” He agrees. “Just let me know where to be and when and I’m your guy. Got something in mind?”

“What are you two whispering about?” Frankie asks, as he sways Xi in his arms. She sometimes hated sitting in one place for too long so he often times had to walk in circles to get her to keep calm. This morning was a bit of a struggle though with her sleep schedule being disrupted. “Shh, mija it’s okay. Do you want Uncle Will?” Xi looked at him with her big brown eyes. “Guess that’s a yes,” He chuckles, handing the baby over. “He’s a natural.” Frankie winks at you.

“We were debating the merits of a little social outing for all of us.” You tell the older man, choosing to ignore the way your stomach flip-flops at the image of Will with a baby in his arms. “After this week is over he’ll have more free time at night, and he thought you might all enjoy something less formal.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that would be great. As long as someone can watch Xi? I guess I could ask Sandy. Would um, would Elsie be going too?” He asks shyly, reaching out and adjusting the lopsided bow on his daughter’s head. “Not that that’s a deal breaker or anything…”

Will laughs at his friend. Frankie was a lot of things, but subtle was never one of them. “Fish…calm down. We’ll hash out plans later.” Will says as he adjusts the baby in his arms.

“The daycare is attended twenty-four hours a day, but I’m sure if you asked Sandy to look after Xi, she would not mind.” Will’s mother had elected to have her breakfast on a tray in her suite this morning, and you would have to remember to check in on her later and make sure she’s not feeling ill. More than likely it’s just a bit of melancholy or a headache, neither of which would surprise you. Losing her ex-husband cannot be easy on her by any means. “And I’m sure Elsie would be glad to be invited.” You’ll also be checking in on her, of course, to see what sort of interest she has in Frankie. A lot has happened in a very short space of time. “But gentlemen…” Turning slightly lets you address the whole group. “I do have a bit of a favor to ask of all of you, if you don’t mind.”

“Anything, Plum.” Will says quickly – chubby little hands suddenly on his face. It melts your heart to see him with Xi, and how easy it seems to come for him. How despite there being no relation, the two of them had a close bond already.

“Yeah, whatever you need.” Santiago sits up a little straighter in his seat and Benny nods in agreement.

“I’m sorry to have to insist.” And you really do have to insist, if you want things to go perfectly this weekend. “But the royal funeral, state dinner, and the parade are all official functions of the crown. It is a nuisance, but my assistant is having some suits brought in and a tailor, to make sure each one of you has appropriate clothing for official events. As I said to the king last night, think of them as a type of uniform. Formal attire like you once wore in the military.” Many eyes will be focused on the new king’s closest friends, and you trust them to understand the importance of propriety. If Will is seen as wanting in any way, it will severely hinder the peoples’ embracing him and that would make his first year on the throne unnecessarily difficult. “I’ve even asked for a few things for Xi, in case she was feeling fussy and needed to be near her Papa.”

“You’re having suits made for us?” Benny asks. “Like real, fancy suits? Hell yeah. I promise not to spill anything on it.” He salutes you. The other boys agree – most of them had never worn anything fancier than their dress blues, and aside from that really only considered khakis and a button up to be their best clothing.

“Not precisely,” you admit, a little sheepishly after their enthusiasm. “I’ve reached out to a Freidlych designer with a studio here in the city and asked him to bring a few ready-made suits and tuxedos that he will then tailor to fit each of you. It’s normally something we would ask the royal tailor to undertake, but his Majesty is having an entire new wardrobe made, so he is understandably busy.”

“Still,” Benny replies. “That’s pretty fucking cool. Can we keep them?”

“Benjamin, please.” Santi laughs, placing a hand on Benny’s shoulder. “Try to stay calm.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just really excited. Not for the funeral, but if anyone deserves this kind of life, it’s my brother, you know? I’m really excited for him to have this life.” Benny had always looked up to Will since he was small.

Will quickly hands Xi back to Frankie and wraps his little brother in a tight hug. “Thanks bud, I love you too.”

“Forgive me for interrupting, your Majesty.” Minna’s appearance in the doorway is quiet as a cat and just as quick. “The photographer will be arriving any minute and I’m afraid Lady Rochegnac is wanted in the Morning Room.”

“No interruption at all, honey.” Santi smiles. Minna tries to keep a neutral expression on her face, but you can see the tint to her cheeks, know Santi has her attention.

“Right. We should go.” Will says, offering his arm.

“Have fun you two.” Santi smiles before waving at Minna. He watches the three of you make your way to where the photographer will be set up shortly. He bites his lip and turns to his friends. “God she’s incredible.”

“Leave it to Pope to be sexually attracted to organization.” Benny laughs, nudging Santi the way only a little brother really can.

“Can you blame me?” He deadpans. “She looks like she’d steal my soul in all the right ways and then organize my entire life. Who wouldn’t want that?”

“She could step on you in those high heels of hers and you would thank her for it.” Frankie laughs, gently bouncing Xi in his arms. “I’d rather be snuggled than stepped on.”

“She does and I would.” Santi agrees. “Elsie and those sweaters? Girl looks like she’s begging to be snuggled. Go for it, Frank. Bet she’d let you lay your head on her lap and she’d read to you.” He waggles his eyebrows.

“Will’s fiancée’s best friend?” The way Frankie winces is fully dramatic but not insincere. “I don’t have a death wish, man. I mean she’s completely my type but that is a whole messy situation that—” He shakes his head, refocusing on his little girl. “She’s outta my league, hermano.”

“Oh come on, I saw her looking at you during dinner last night.” Benny says. “Frankie, I know you’re dealing with a lot right now with Jess being a massive cunt, but you can’t let her continue to dictate your life. What if this girl is the perfect match for you and you just let it slip by because you’re afraid? That’s not fair to either one of you.”

“He’s right,” Santi chimes in. “What if…what if all of this happened because all of us were supposed to be here? Will is obviously where he’s supposed to be and with who he’s supposed to be with. I’m convinced those two were made for each other with how they act. If I didn’t know the situation, I wouldn’t believe that they’ve only known each other for three fucking days. It’s insane.” He says as he sits on a loveseat.

“You would just pack up your whole lives for this place in a day?” It’s not that Frankie doesn’t see how good this place is. Or how well matched you and Will are. He gets that. But it feels a hell of a lot like rebounding with the cutest girl at the bar after getting dumped. “Look, I’m not saying the Palace and new clothes and gorgeous women aren’t nice. I’m just…just not counting any chickens before they hatch, that’s all.”

“Just be open to it, that’s all.” Santi insists. “And who knows, if I had a reason to stay, I’d sure as hell take it.” He shrugs. They all sit in silence for a few minutes before Elsie comes in. “Good morning,” She smiles warmly. “Minna is busy with the photographer currently, so she asked me to let you all know the tailor is here. We’ll have to reschedule my tour, unfortunately, but that’s alright because evening is the best for a tour of the rose garden anyway.”

“Do we stay in here for do we need to go somewhere else?” Benny asks.

“The tailor is setting up in an empty suite that is big enough to accommodate everyone.” She says. “Oh, and I have a few dress options for the little one.” She said as she lifts up the tiny garment bags in her hand. “If you’ll follow me, please.”

“Where are the portraits being taken?” Santi walks alongside Elsie easily, wanting to keep her chatting and let Frankie relax a little.

“The throne room. Every king and queen have been immortalized in that room for the past two centuries. If you get a chance to look at the portraits you’ll notice the similar art styles up until 100 years ago. They stopped the oil portraits with King Edwin in 1920 and moved to photography since it was easier and the royals didn’t have to sit for so long, but the frames are all custom made by the family that made the originals! They’ve been making ornate frames for the palace for so long, it would feel criminal to go with anyone else.” She smiles. “The garments chosen are all created by a long family line too. Freidlyn is filled with creatures of habit, I suppose.”

“So they’ll have to take more once the coronation happens?” Benny already feels like this royalty stuff is going to make his head spin in circles, but he wants to get it right for his brother. “Once she’s queen, I mean? Like a portrait of both of them?”

“They will! After these initial portraits as well as the wedding portraits, they’ll need one more set, until they have children. The post-coronation portraits will have them with the royal jewels and crowns of Freidlyn. Those portraits will be used on our postage and displayed in government and official buildings here as well as souvenirs, kind of like how England has the royals on those decorative plates and teacups. It’s silly, but the tourism board thinks it’s good for us.” She shrugs as she continues to lead the men to the designated suite. “Oh, I took the liberty of getting a playpen and some toys from the daycare center for the baby so you can have a break.” Elsie tells Frankie.

“Thank you.” Frankie still isn’t totally okay with leaving Xi with strangers yet, no matter how well trained they are, and he’s grateful that Elsie spared the extra thought for him and his daughter. It’s more than her own mother would have done.

“Mademoiselle Poincaré, thank you for delivering these gentlemen safely.” An elegant-looking person in an expertly tailored black suit with a black silk shirt underneath and spiked-heel black leather boots bares the same authority holding a clipboard than Minna Thorn does, but with several extra inches of height. “My name is Jules Sorten, I am Lady Rochegnac’s assistant, and there is lots to do, so I thank you for arriving quickly. Monsieur Miller first, s’il vous plait?” He gestures to a slightly older man picking his way through a variety of suits. “This is Monsieur Ronan. He will be fitting all of you today.”

“My pleasure, Jules. I’ll be over here if you need anything.” Elsie says.

“I am ready. Measure me.” Benny walks up to Monsieur Ronan with his arms open. “Make me fancy.” It’s almost adorable how excited Benny is for his new suit, and he’s determined to take good care of it.

Frankie places Xi in the playpen and she’s instantly enthralled with a canvas doll dressed as a princess. Elsie sits near the playpen, but far enough away to not interfere with Jules’ work. She thinks of what could have been had her fiancé stayed faithful to her – maybe she’d have a little girl of her own to dote on. She smiles at the small baby patting the doll to her chest and Santi notices with a smirk on his face.

“Looks like your alterations will be minimal.” Ronan says with a pin between his lips once Benny is in the suit picked for him. “This is good.” A few pins in place and Benny’s suit is nearly perfect – the alterations would be done quickly and easily.

“Hear that guys? Minimal and good.” Benny laughs, standing as still as he possibly can.

“I could make a joke…” Santi says, “but there is a lady present, so I’ll hold off.”

“Monsieur Morales?” Ronan beckons the next man forward while helping the king’s younger brother out of his carefully pinned jacket.

“That’s me.” Frankie says, stepping around Santi and onto the little platform that sat in front of the three large mirrors in the suite. He slips on the black jacket easily, standing still while Ronan puts the pins in place.

“So,” Santi sprawls out in a chair beside Elsie while he waits his turn. “What exactly does a state dinner entail? Am I going to have to keep these monkeys in line by force?”

“Well, the king and the future queen will be at the head of the table and parliament will take this time to introduce the future king to everyone as well as go over what his duties will be, and which of King Klaus’ business he will have to continue. It’s fascinating, really, and there will be so much food you won’t know what to do with yourselves.” Elsie pauses. “…do you think you’ll need to keep them in line?” Will’s friends had seemed well-mannered and nice so far, but would there be an issue?

“A gentle reminder that whooping and pounding the table probably isn’t appropriate in a palace,” Santi smiles reassuringly. “We’re fairly informal guys, and we want to make sure everything is perfect for Will, that’s all.”

“Oh, yeah I don’t think Parliament would particularly care for anything other than polite applause or an ‘allez’ during a toast.” Elsie stands quick to check on Xi, who was still enthralled by the little doll. “So maybe letting them know that would be a good idea.” She says, reaching down to brush back some of Xi’s wild curls - definitely inherited from her father.

“Frankie’s a pretty good dancer.” Santi throws it out there hopefully, watching Elsie dote on his goddaughter with a smile. “His sisters made sure of that. I don’t know if there’s dancing at these things, but he can hold his own.”

Elsie blushes, “Oh, I mean there will be some musical accompaniment but it’s not often that people will get up and dance, but maybe?” She giggles. “Why? Did he say something about wanting to go dancing? I can recommend some places nearby.”

“Not exactly.” He admits, clearing his throat a little. “But I know that if you wanted to show him some places, he’d love to go.” There’s just no way Frankie will get his ass in gear and actually ask Elsie out unless they’re here for like six months, and Santiago Garcia considers himself an excellent fucking wingman when his buddies need him.

“I could definitely think of some places to show him.” She smiles shyly. Frankie was handsome and she wanted to get to know him better. “You know, if he wanted to find a job out here it would be so easy for him…” Elsie glances over at him. “All of you, actually.” She adds quickly before getting flustered. “Just, you know, if you found it difficult to leave after being in such a beautiful place for a while.” She chuckles.

“Honestly?” Santi shrugs and places a kiss in his goddaughter’s hair. “Most of us don’t have a lot to go back to when we leave here. Benny’s lifeline is his brother, and Frankie’s whole life is this little bebita. My family is all over the world and I’m already at my fuc—sorry,” he grimaces. “At my wit’s end with this new job. We could stand a little bit of all this Freidlych goodness.”

“Well, should you all decide that Freidlyn is where you belong, I can help with housing. The palace owns some cottages on the outskirts of town that are meant for noble and royal family members, but I think Minna and myself can talk parliament into letting you move into them, if you’d like. They’re all fully furnished and have solar panels. Actually, here.” She pulls out her phone and opens up an album. “I have photos on my phone if you’d like to take a look.” She hands the device over to him. “They’ve all been maintained really well since they were built in the early 1800s.”

“Jesus…Is this where you live?” Santi whistles low, scrolling through the pictures of the gorgeous estate houses. “Ya know…my great-great-great-abuelo a few hundred years back was Spanish nobility. Think that gets me an in?” He jokes, unable to take his eyes off the photos. “I mean, I’m descended from his mistress, but it’s gotta count for something right?”

“Oh, no I have a flat in town.” Elsie says. “I don’t think it would count for you, unfortunately, but maybe Minna can work her magic. That woman can make anyone say yes to her. It’s amazing.” Santi hands the phone back to Elsie and she checks her messages – there’s one from you asking how it was going. She types a quick reply that it’s going well, and the suits are fitting perfectly as far as she could tell.

“Wouldn’t take me much to agree to whatever she wanted.” The line is out of Santi’s mouth with a wink, and he saunters off when the tailor calls his name.

Elsie laughs and shakes her head. Men are impossible, she thinks as Frankie walks over to her. “The suit looked great on you.” She smiles. “I laid out the options for the baby if you’d like to take a look at them.”

“Thanks.” Frankie blushes, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously before looking over at the nicest baby clothes he’s ever seen in his life. Are there designer baby clothes? Because that’s what all of this looks like. “You’re really an angel for helping with all of this.”

“It’s no trouble, really. I enjoy it.” She tells him honestly. “I was just telling Santiago about housing options here should any of you fall in love with Freidlyn enough to stay. “I think I can convince Minna to be on board if you, Santiago or Benny decided to live here…Freidlyn is a wonderful place to raise a child.”

“I’m sure it is.” He’s only seen the airport and palace so far, but if his baby girl’s life included a palace then things would be pretty fucking good. “Santi’s all ready to just pack it in and move. I think the second he laid eyes on Minna, that was the clincher.”

“Oh, I suspect it’s mutual admiration. Santiago is exactly the type of man Minna Thorn goes for.”

“He’s a good guy.” Frankie nods his head, playing with the hem of a black linen baby skirt that had a matching onesie with a cute little collar on it. “They all are. We give each other crap but that’s only out of love.”

“You are too.” Elsie places her hand over his. “I can tell you all love each other like brothers, and it’s really nice to see. Everyone has noticed how much the king appreciates you being here for him. He lit up as soon as he knew you all had arrived.”

“Will’s been there for all of us through everything.” Frankie explains, trying not to stare at the place where she’s touching him but somehow also not able to look away. “Didn’t even tell us when his fiancée broke up with him a couple of years ago because Benny had lost a fight pretty bad and was taking it really hard. He put everything into training with his brother and ended up telling us two weeks after it happened when Pope opened his big mouth to ask if Stacy was coming to the next fight.”

“His selflessness is what will make him a great leader and greater partner. He's so much like his father in that way.” Elsie squeezes his hand. “I have to ask though…he’s fond of her right? I’m not imagining things? The way they look at each other is just…” She looks away with a dreamy look in her eye. “Romantic. I don’t think anyone has ever looked at me the way William looks at her.”

“He was practically moping last night when Benny told him he thought it was too soon to make a move.” Frankie confides. Though Ben Miller wasn’t typically known for his restraint, he had reminded Will that this woman was the rest of his life and he needed to think about the long-term. “He had us brainstorming proposal methods during our poker game.” Frankie sighs, trying not to look at Elsie too directly when he does so and give himself away. “You’re young, Elsie. You’ll find someone worthy of you. And if you don’t, I’m sure there are plenty of unworthy guys who will still line up around the block for a chance.”

“Thanks, Frankie.” She smiles at him. “I’m glad William is taking this seriously. She’s very smitten with him and he’s really good with her, and for her, if I’m being honest…so what were the proposal methods?” She gets up quickly and walks over to a small cart near the door, pouring herself and Frankie fresh cups of coffee.

“Santi said he should do it in bed.” Frankie rolls his eyes after thanking her for the coffee – whatever it is they brew here is seriously amazing. “Which completely goes against the slow-and-respectful theory. Benny said an after dinner walk in the garden, which is sweet, but Will thought he could come up with something more creative.”

Elsie laughs at the look on Frankie’s face. “Hm, well, while the bed idea is interesting, I don’t think it’s probable for this situation. If it were me, I think I’d opt for the rose garden, or up on the lookout point up in the mountains. You can see the entire palace grounds and the city from there. There’s also the option of a carriage ride around the lake, or a nice boat ride…” She pauses. “Sorry, I’m a bit of a romantic and I’ve thought of scenarios like this a lot. She’ll happy with anything though, as long as he asks with his heart. That’s all that really matters anyway, right?” She takes a sip of her coffee.

“Sure it is.” Frankie eyes her with soft amusement over the confession to being a romantic. They could all tell that right away – just from the way she talked at dinner last night – and it cracked his poor, deadened heart in ways he hated to admit. “But you’re her best friend. You’ve got to know her fantasy proposal, right?”

“Yeah, but don’t laugh, okay?” She gives him her best puppy eyes. “There’s a butterfly conservatory not far from here that we’ve been going to since we were little and it has really nice walking paths throughout, and at the very end there’s a big fountain with a waterfall and she always comments about how perfect this spot is. Every time we’ve gone a butterfly has always landed on her shoulder. She thinks this spot is where she’s ‘supposed to see her fate’ so…maybe that’s it. Maybe a proposal in front of that waterfall with all the butterflies and fairy lights is the fate she’s been destined for.” Elsie tells him confidently. “Or Disney World, but there’s no time for that, unfortunately.”

“Elsie, you’re a genius.” Frankie beams at her, striking out on instinct to give the small woman a tight hug. “He wants it to be so right for her. To show how much he appreciates that she’s sticking with him.” He doesn’t let go quickly, the hug lingering for just a moment. “He thinks it should be her on the throne, and he’s determined to make sure she gets it.”

She’s surprised by Frankie’s hug, but grasps onto him tight, not wanting it to end too soon. He’s warm and smells of laundry detergent, cologne, and something just Frankie. “I can make some calls and have it reserved when he’s ready to ask. It’s beautiful at night with all the lights on.” She pulls away but doesn’t break eye contact. “They both deserve to be on that throne.”

“He doesn’t know his own worth sometimes.” Frankie swallows, forgetting for a split second if he’s talking about himself or his friend. “I think the right person will help him remember. Hopefully it’s her.”

“I have a good feeling about it.” Elsie says, and maybe she means about her and Frankie as well. “I think it’s a good match; written in the stars and all that poetic imagery.” She smiles.

“I hope so.” He smiles just a little bit more softly, pulled away by the babbling insistence of his baby girl.

“She’s absolutely beautiful, by the way.” Elsie gets off the couch and kneels down in front of the playpen where Xi is babbling. “Aren’t you?” The baby girl reaches her arms out like she wants to be picked up and Elsie pauses for a second before picking her up and settling her on her hip. “What dress do you think, little princess?” Elsie points to the dresses laid out near her father.

“She’s just lucky she didn’t get my nose.” He huffs, watching as Xi continues to babble and grab at a black romper onesie with lots of ruffles and frills.

“But your nose is wonderful.” Elsie tells him as she grabs the frilly romper for Xi. “This one? Yeah, this is a good one.” She coos at her.

“Are you seeing this?” Benny whispers to Santi, the two of them on the other side of the room sipping their coffee after being done with their fittings.

“I don’t think they have any idea that anyone else is still here.” Santi shakes his head, knowing his friend was just as gone for Elsie as he was for Minna.

“You guys are all gonna get married and ditch me.” Benny pouts, refilling his coffee cup again.

“Never, little man. Never gonna happen.” Santi ruffles Benny’s hair. “I’m sure there’s a stunning girl out here for you too. That can be one of our final missions, yeah?” He chuckles.

“You and your damn missions, Pope.” Benny shakes his head.

“Hey,” Pope smirks. “This will be a damn good one, okay? Benny’s true love is out there somewhere and it’s our job to make sure she doesn’t get scared off too fast.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango​ @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog​ @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri

NA: @absurdthirst @peachtreemoonshine​ @xoxabs88xox @luminescentlily @babypink224221​

My Masterlist!

[sixeyesgojo]

jjk characters handling your period

Summary: “What do you mean, no baby this month either? Okay, suffer then.” - your damn uterus

Pairings: Gojo/Megumi/Nanami/Naoya/Toji x Reader

Content warning: the monthly bloody nightmare your uterus puts you through and the whole shebang that comes with it, language warning, suggestive themes, explicit warning for Toji (you’ll see why)

A/N: purely self-indulgent because I suffer. @megumifushi and @sukirichi , my gals, I gotcha. Also dedicated to all readers who suffer from the same fate (may it be right now or not). Also: Yes, absolutely open the video I linked in Megumi’s part (it’s safe, I promise).

Gojo Satoru

You turn and turn in bed uncomfortably. Something isn’t right, you think and it’s not the fact that Satoru is missing next to you. Not knowing immediately irritates you. All of a sudden you become painfully aware of your lower region. Yes, of course it had to be that time of the month. You just knew you already stained your panties and perhaps the sheets haven’t been spared either. Getting out of bed, then realizing it was already past noon, you sprinted to the bathroom. Fuck, moving fast was not a good idea. 

Having changed the sheets and your stained panties, you made your way to the kitchen. Your stomach growled, signaling you were hungry, but at the same time you feared. Smelling food, let alone tasting too much of it, was a slippery slope – either your nose would protest or your stomach, no in-between. Regardless, you had to eat; or were you supposed to starve to death because of this? Not in this lifetime. “I AM BACK!” an annoyingly loud voice rang through the apartment. You groan and turn around. “Fuck off, Satoru,” you say. Your irritation flaring up for seemingly no reason. “Stop being so motherfucking loud. My head feels like it’s going to split in two and my pussy is fighting the crimson war right now,” you snarled at him.

“Oh honey, seems like I called the right shots then,” he declared proudly and held up a bag filled with... snacks? “I already called in sick for you for the next few days,” Satoru continued to explain as he wrapped his arms around you, “and I’ll be by your side 24/7 for the next two days. We’ll do fun stuff. How does movie night with lots of cuddling for tonight sound?”

“Why are you so nice to me right now?” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes. “Simple: I don’t want to be castrated by you,” he whispered back and planted a kiss on your cheek. “Fair enough. What will we do tomorrow?” He stayed silent but pulled out a black card out of his sleeve. You gasped.

Fushiguro Megumi

Ping. A notification. Quickly, you scrambled to get your phone to see what that was about. You desperately needed some distraction right now. The pain was too much. Your boyfriend Megumi had gone somewhere you didn’t know. All you knew was that your boobs were sore, the sensitive nipples rubbing against the fabric were already too much. In addition to that, you also experienced period cramps, resulting in back pain as well. Life was not easy at the moment but at least you could lay in bed for today, doing absolutely nothing.

Unlocking your phone, you saw a new message from Yuji: “omg look at this???” [Video link] It was a video of 42 seconds. There was a cute seal – probably the cutest and fluffiest seal you have ever seen – and background music. It may have only lasted 42 seconds but it definitely triggered some happy feelings inside you; it was so pure and you loved the energy of the clip. Perhaps these feelings were a bit too intense and overwhelming. Tears streamed down your face and you started sobbing uncontrollably. Why were you like this? It wasn’t even a sad video, was it?

You buried your face in the blankets, weeping as if someone just broke up with you. Through your loud crying, you did not notice the door opening. A jangling noise could be heard from your nightstand. Instantly, you shot up to check for intruders but luckily, it was Megumi. A frown spread on his face. “What happened?” he asked as his thumbs wiped your tears from your cheeks. You showed him the video, still sobbing, “Look at the seal... It’s so c-cute. I just... got emotional because it really t-traveled the world. This cutie deserves the whole world...”

“And so do you,” he bluntly stated, “now take the ibuprofen I brought you for the cramps and rest up.” As a matter of fact, he not only brought you painkillers but a hot water bottle and food as well.

Nanami Kento

“No, give me that. Lay down and rest. I can dust off the shelves on my own,” his deep voice commanded. If there was a man that screamed “male wife” it was definitely Nanami Kento, particularly when it came to you being on your period. You weren’t allowed to do anything in the house, except for very light chores. With good reason. “Kento, I can do–” Yeah, no, it wasn’t possible and Kento knew it too well.

You weren’t lucky when it came to period symptoms. Besides excruciating back pain, extremely sore breasts and headaches, you also had the luck to suffer from dizziness every single time you experienced the monthly nuisance. The first time you even passed out. In fact, it had happened several times. And that was precisely how Kento decided to not let you do anything. Still, you felt bad to leave everything to Kento. His work already demanded so much from him and here you were, being babied and even spoon-fed. You didn’t even have to cook your own meals or wash and iron laundry.

You had barely said those words when the unwelcome whirling sensation took you over again. Your feet wobbled, you were in danger of crashing to the ground. In a flash, Kento was by your side to steady you. “I told you not to overdo it.” He cupped your cheek with his warm hand. “Sorry, Kento. I’ll... just rest for a minute.”

Zenin Naoya

Period pain? Laughable. Naoya thought it was pathetic. A woman – these already weak creatures – having period symptoms was a mystery to him. What could possibly hurt about bleeding a little? He couldn’t understand. Your pitiable and sorry state was only another inconvenience to him. Not that you hindered him in any way – you were obedient enough to be quiet and complain as little as possible – but he absolutely despised seeing that annoying expression of pain on your face every time he had to look at it.

Hell, he didn’t even want to engage in sexual activities with you during that time, even though he had randomly picked up somewhere that it might help. Not that he wanted to help you, it was your problem and yours only, not his. “Stop looking at me with those eyes. It’s disgusting,” he remarked condescendingly as he got dressed for wherever he had to go. “When will you be back?” you croaked out but he totally ignored you.

“Women are so damn weak. It’s so fucking pathetic, I almost want to give you a hug,” Naoya gagged. He was about to leave the room but stopped in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of your face that was contorted with pain. In long strides, he made it to one of the cabinets, fished out a tiny box and threw it on the bed. “Tsk, you better get well soon so you can serve me again, dumb bitch.”

Fushiguro Toji (soft)

Work hadn’t been treating him kindly: not yesterday, not today, not ever. Although he was highly capable and never failed to exceed himself, all Toji truly wanted to do was to go home. When he finally made it through the door, he called out, “Am home.” Usually, you would come running to greet him but when nothing but silence greeted him, his hand instantly moved to the cursed creature lingering on his shoulder. It was suspicious. Did enemies manage to find this hideout? Where were you? His hands started sweating.

Stealthily, he approached the kitchen. To his surprise, he saw your form in front of the counter, hunched over in pain. Dropping his offensive stance immediately, he quickly strode over to check on you. “Hey, what are you doing there?” he asked, hesitatingly putting a hand on your shoulder. You looked at him, grimacing with pain, “Oh, Toji. I didn’t realize you were home yet. Sorry, I’m not done cooking dinner yet, I just feel so nauseous, exhausted and my entire back  and shoulders hurt so much. It’s so sore.” “I see.” He nodded, understanding what was happening. Suddenly, he lifted you effortlessly. You squealed, “Toji!! What are you doing?!” “Taking care of you,” he promised. “But dinner!” “Don’t care.”

Making his way to the bedroom, Toji laid down with you on top of him. Something about his warmth already made you feel better but as his large palms rubbed your back in circular motions, you felt as if you were in heaven. Toji’s ministrations soothed the pain so well, you almost let out a moan. Now that the pain didn’t overshadow all the other symptoms anymore, the drowsiness took over. “Toji, ‘m tired,” you mumbled; eyelids fluttering already. “Then sleep. I’ll take care of dinner later,” he whispered. You only hummed in response, already far too gone. Slowly but surely, his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep. “Sleep tight.”

Taglist: @megumifushi​ @gojos-mochi​ @assbuttbaek​ @bleueluna​ 

[dailytatsu]

Hello! I love your writing and I recently saw a post of yours about the reader being the God Of Chaos and I was wondering if you could make a part two with characters of your choice, if it’s not that much of a trouble! Remember to drink water and rest well <3

Tysm! I’m really happy to see that a lot of you enjoyed it, and being honest, chaos reader now have a special place in my heart lol

Then let’s write a second part! Hope everyone likes these as well! ( ✌︎'. ')✌︎

Thanks for the request!✨

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[II - HC] God of Chaos! Reader & Genshin Characters

Characters: Bennett, Tartaglia, Scaramouche, Ganyu, Chongyun

Gn! Reader

Sorry for any mistakes!

Request are open!

Genshin Masterlist

<- First part

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BENNETT

First of all, how dare u

This boy already has a chaotic life for you to arrive and making it worse.

But being honest, it wasn’t intentional, just like always.

Besides he’s a kid. The chaos of a kid + chaos of his bad luck, I mean- how were you not supposed to meet him?

That day was really strange, for the very first time the chaos wasn’t attracted by you, but you were attracted to chaos. Like a moth following a lantern on the street, something that you felt like you had to do, some kind of childish curiosity that guide your way to find Bennett in the middle of his adventure.

Poor boy was charging his pyro attack to max until a barrel exploded near him, he flew in the air waiting for a rough landing before his trajectory sent him where you were standing, still looking for the origin of that uneasy sensation of curiosity.

Luckily for him you could see his shadow just in time to react. You looked up because of the strange silhouette on the ground next to you and there he was, surrounded by a cloud of smoke and fire, with his screams getting louder and louder as he falls.

You trapped him in your arms, with the situation turning even more strange when the first thing he said was “nice catch!” with the bright smile of his.

Like if his hair on fire wasn’t a big deal.

It’s raining men ig

Before you could ask anything, a crowd of angry hilichurls appeared from the same direction where Bennett came at first.

The white haired boy jumped off from your arms and tried to grasp your hand to run away together, but instead you pulled him near and then behind you before rising your hand to the front, pointing the stampede of furious creatures about to reach you both.

Not even a leaf fell from a tree before the hilichurls stopped, all of them felt your presence immediately, the primitive sensation of danger that meant a silent threat. Following the message that another camp of them told long ago, ‘get away from that stranger’.

Bennett was surprised, kind of scared at least. He wasn’t sure about how to call that feeling.

Are you a beast tamer?! Maybe an adventurer that discovered a secret about hilichurl’s behavior! Wait- where are you going? Don’t leave him behind, the doubt won’t let him sleep tonight!

You explained to him that it was dangerous for both to be near each other (more dangerous for him than for you), still you needed to get away. To protect Bennett and the other adventurers that were exploring nearby.

But why? He was so excited about meeting someone who could react that fast and precise! Like the heroes in the legends!

Please show him your ways, he’s begging you, how can you be rude to Bennett? That literally illegal.

When he heard that there was a God of Chaos exploring all over Teyvat like an errant he connected two points (even if there wasn’t a single thing to connect in first place).

You’re like him!

Hello ?? You’re literally ?? the most qualified to be part of Benny’s Adventure Team ??

Negative plus negative is positive, isn’t it? Maybe if you roam near Bennett his bad luck can collide with your chaos to neutralize each other!

You told him that you were leaving after that short conversation, but in reality you just hide from his sights and followed him from behind.

That kid really put you on your nerves, running into danger without knowing. Was that what Zhongli have to deal with every time you visit Liyue?

The old man really deserves an apology.

You’re not doing this an habit, of course not! You’re the all mighty God of Chaos, the ultimate troublemaker! How was even possible to think about wanting to protect a human just because he has bad luck? That’s ridic-

“Watch out!” You had to abandoned your hiding spot to reach Bennett again, pulling him away from the place where a bunch of hunter’s traps were. “Barbatos, why all your children have to be like this?…” You whispered for yourself, actually waiting for a answer, maybe a little too much because you didn’t free Bennett. His feet were just barely touching the ground.

“Oh, it’s you! Hello again!”

Enough of babysitting, that’s it, both of you are heading back to Mondstadt. This boy is a danger for himself, who allowed him to be an adventurer in first place?

After abandoned him in front of the city’s bridge you turn back to the forest, believing that it was the end, even if in the process your chaos took the life of some pigeons nearby.

Next morning you were sleeping peacefully on the branches of a huge old tree, feeling the wind of your bard friend greeting you from the distance.

Then a storm started out of nowhere; your fault.

And almost immediately you heard a cheerful voice below you, calling your name like a lost child searching for their parents.

As Bennett climbs the tree to talk with you a lightning strikes near enough to make both of you jump because of the surprise, falling from the branch and meeting each other on the mud below.

“Sorry, my bad.” Bennett and you said at the same time, to later laugh because of that.

It seems that both are more alike than you would expect

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TARTAGLIA

How do I explain that this guy already knew about you-

As you may suspect, yes, his only reason of wanting to meet you was to fight you.

The first step for taking the thrones of gods is beating one of the youngest, isn’t it? It would be a good start, and you’d be also one of the best opponents he ever fought! The only thing still needed was a way to make you accept his challenge.

Tartaglia’s first try was by attacking you without hesitation, not even a warning, just shooting an arrow for behind and waiting for you to counter. And yes, that didn’t go as planned, the rope of his bow snapped even before aiming.

It wouldn’t be that easy, the distance is always boring for a fight, why not just attacking directly?

Because you learned from Morax that you must not hurt mortals; the reason of your trip was for appreciate the human’s life, to understand why you exist, to have a reason to not end with everything that crosses your path.

To convince yourself that you’re not only destruction.

But it was hard to stay calm if he constantly provokes you to fight back. Always dodging, always running away, always breaking his weapons.

Barely holding yourself to not to break his Vision at this point.

Dodging one of his attacks again you ended up on top of a nearby structure by the side of the road, watching him from above and begging for him to stop for once.

Tartaglia clicked his tongue in annoyance, you would escape again. He was as sick as you of that senseless hunt. Maybe was the stress what impede him to think wisely, because his next strategy was like a death wish.

The water blades disappeared from his hands and, for the first time, he had a casual talk with you. Smiling and waving his hands to look relaxed.

Then he mentioned the incident with Osial, a event that almost became a tragedy. And the only reason you knew about that was because Morax told you about it, about his contract and the reason why he left his position as an Archon the next time you visited him.

It was your fault, isn’t it?

“… what?”

"As you heard! The conditions for summoning Osial was ideal, bringing back a sealed god filled with hatred and hungry for destruction couldn't have been possible if you hadn't been around Liyue that day.” His hand lifted to pointing at you, also smiling as your expression turned into a concerned one. “Oh, our God of Chaos, you were successfully satiated as the catastrophe filled the ocean! Bring us back the destruction, because it's the only thing you ever knew!”

He was obviously just mocking you, but still Tartaglia managed to actually make you think about it.

Your fault. Your chaos.

And even with that, Rex Lapis didn’t seal you or tried to eradicated you like the burden that you are for every nation.

It’s just a matter of time before you destroy all humane existence when you get bored of your fantasy of not being a spirit of chaos.

An infinity of negative and dark thoughts began to fill your mind.

It was sad, it was so sad that the erosion already began to have an effect on you being so young. You were afraid, you were concerned, the stress ate you inside while you tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t like he said.

Your mind collapsed, and you left the wrath take the control for the first time in centuries.

A fight? That’s all he wanted? Easy, that’s easy, just kill him and everything will end. His annoying voice won’t torment you ever again, his words won’t hurt ever again.

It’s easy, so easy. Mortal life is so easy to end.

He’ll defeat the gods, he’ll take their thrones and will witness the world’s end in the final battle he planned since his first encounter with the traveler.

But that day Tartaglia noticed the difference between your strength, it wasn’t huge, neither significant enough. But you were stronger, and it’s well known that wrath and despair can provide extra energy when it’s needed.

The perception of time disappeared, the world did too. Nature, men creation, everything will succumb against chaos, existence itself will be reduce to ashes.

That’s why you exist, to make sure there’s not too much heroes trying to make the nations a boring place. You just need to accept it!

But…

‘There’s no other way?’

The question sparkle inside your mind, bringing you back out of nowhere. There’s a lot of irregularities in the ground nearby, the land was broke for something that impacted with an inhuman strength, even the structure where you step on top was gone, just the remain of a building was left.

And your hands were holding something bland and soft, the warm sensation on your palms and the strange movements caught your attention to look down. Your hands were strangling Tartaglia.

From the other side his hands were trying to remove yours, his strength was minimal, not even able of closing his fingers around your wrist.

A expression full of pain and regretting of his decisions, question by question filling his mind while the air became harder to get.

A broken bow, his Vision has been thrown away. Now it was a human versus a god.

You took a step back, afraid of what you were about to do. You have to stay calm and quiet forever? To prevent catastrophe, to bring peace to mortals? Who’s the one you have to blame for creating you? How you could think that coexisting with humans was possible? Even if you say that you don’t want to make any problems you would stay near them.

“Just… leave me alone.”

Was the last thing you said, a whisper that wanted to apologize for a whole eternity, a regret that couldn’t be forgot. And then you left that place, escaping one last time.

But wait for him, Tartaglia thought, he didn’t need your compassion.

Sooner or later he would have his revenge.

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SCARAMOUCHE

Finally! With Shogun Raiden’s gnosis on his possession and the all mighty hero of Mondstadt weakened there’s no way things can go wrong for him!

A little delay in his plans, but still a smile remained on his face. Kunikuzushi couldn’t wish for anything else right now.

But you already know what is going to happen next.

In this world exist Murphy’s Law?, because anything that could go wrong went wrong after he claim for victory. Even being far away of the factory it seemed that the karma reached him immediately.

He just got his guard down for a couple seconds, and then, whoshh. Now you see it, now you don’t. The gnosis disappeared from his pocket, not here, not there. The annoyance filled his chest and then a irritated growl came from his throat.

What in the world happened?

Scaramouche looked to a huge tree in front of him, and there you were. On your favorite place to sit, above from everyone else in a branch. Holding the gnosis as the board piece it looks like, playing throwing it up a little and then catching it again and again.

Who you think you are to act that carefree on his presence? If you wanted to die so bad then you could just have asked for it.

Even if he called you and made a question first you counter it with another one, what was he doing with that thing?

You were sick of those who defy the gods thanks to his ‘workmate’.

Scaramouche ordered you to give him the gnosis back, threats and insults came out from his mouth as a distraction; in reality, he was just ready to set the first hit from behind.

But something made him stop just in time when you talked again.

“I don’t care what you are planning, but if it involves the ones who I’m in debt with, you will surely fail.”

“Another clairvoyant? Hah, your type are more words than an actual subject matter, but I have to admit it, they’re also very skill to escape.”

“It was a warning.” You said, throwing again the gnosis, this time to his direction.

Scaramouche reacted in time to rise his arms but in midair something caught the chess-like piece before his fingers. Surprising him again and making the irritation event more unbearable.

It was a tanuki. The same that looked behind a second before running even deeper in the forest.

The chaos isn’t necessary a huge disaster; a little accident, an inconvenient, a failure, it depends time and place to be considered like a catastrophe.

Scaramouche had a killer gaze just for you in his face, in respond you smiled at him, then covered your mouth with both hands to fake surprise.

“What a shame! Better luck next time, gods defier.” Your laugh could be heard all over the woods, like a spectral echo that chased him his way to get back the gnosis.

He got it back after a few minutes of a stressful walk through the forest, found the tanuki dancing on a stone before disappearing again. When he got closer he found that piece, making sure it was the real one and not just another trick.

The following days he received endless reports of Fatui soldiers and entire camps being reduced to rubble aside lost or destroyed materials; it was a higher level sabotage done by who they said was someone of relatively young appearance in strange clothes, the one that enjoyed staring at them until something goes wrong.

Nobody could defeat them, not even get closer. And with that, Scaramouche knew they were talking about you.

Was that what you meant with “warning”? Who are you exactly? Not even holding a Vision, how could you… ?

A quick order was enough to deliver him a book full of ancient legends, part of the Fatui private collection. Texts that were lost and the world had forgotten, his only hope was that you weren't exactly mortal, and if that was the case they could take advantage of your nature.

Hah, he found you.

God of Chaos, a body sculptured by the blood and bodies of the ones who died in middle of the wars. At first they were just a being full of anger and affinity for taking the life of every living being on earth, until the same hand that created them gave them a human heart of their own. Made without any prior basis, without being the remains of the deceased. Something one of a kind, the mortal heart of a god.

When human emotions filled the vessel they were released into the world, to mourn over the spilled blood and to know how everything of their existence originates. Born from the red that stained the fields and being the bud that seemed withered, the same that now has the deepest roots ever found.

Hmm, that brings back some memories…

But hey, that vital energy could be useful.

Don’t be surprised if one day you wake up chained and feeling dizzy as Scaramouche drains your life. You know what? Just wait for it! Running away as you did with that idiot won’t work this time.

Every possibility can be foreseen, every inconvenience can be solved. And if you think that you’re an exception then you’re stupider than you look.

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GANYU

Bold of you assume that Zhongli didn’t introduce you to everyone the first time you travel to Liyue.

The difference between your meeting was that it had to be really short. Ganyu is always busy so you couldn’t know her better before her duty called for her again.

Obviously you heard a lot of stories of her childhood thanks to Cloud Retainer. The day she knew about it Ganyu avoided you, next week she apologized with you about it. It was very rude, please pardon her.

Such a big sister vibes ngl

An Adeptus working that hard to human’s matters. It was so cool to follow her from a significant distance to see how was her routine.

If you could only live that peacefully near humans without causing any problem! What a dream! The envy was killing you.

Ganyu didn’t mind about you stalking her, the feeling of a companion was always present and she also knew that you had to keep some distance from everybody to not cause any accident. She appreciated your consideration.

Until a soldier from the millelith arrested you for harassment, wait- you’re innocent! Don’t get closer, hold on! Hold on!

The handcuffs broke almost immediately, though.

When Ganyu resolved the misunderstanding she hold your hands to apologize again, it had to be really stressful to be aware of any chaos you could create accidentally.

What if you… wait for her on the surroundings of the city?

Please, she have a lot of work, don’t interrupt her, she’s begging you.

Ganyu thought you heard her request, but she knew that you were just hiding when a window opened out of nowhere and a lot of documents flew away in the room.

You appeared hanging upside down from the other side of the window, jumped down and entered to pick up the documents. You hand her over all the pages and then you leave through the space on the wall.

“… I’ll be in Huaguang Stone Forest… ”

“Thank you.”

Even though you both agreed that you would return to the stone forest, she couldn't help but feel guilty as the hours passed, did you feel like a nuisance? Maybe she should apologize. Again.

When another successful day at work ended, she realized that repeating the same words over and over was not the best way to show her regret. That’s why a better idea formed in his head as she approached the abode of the rest of Adeptus.

Ganyu found you being scolded by Mountain Shaper for unintentionally releasing the trespassing intruders along with other creatures from their amber prisons.

After rescuing you again, she was able to propose her idea to you. With a calm and charming voice she asked you if you would like to learn about Liyue's traditions from the human perspective.

Sure, Zhongli could tell you about the beginning of traditions and festivities, but the way to celebrate them and pay tribute to the Adeptus was something that only a person who had lived among mortals for years could explain to you.

Your eyes shone in gratitude but no words really came out of your lips, kind of embarrassed you said some nonsensical things and then another amber cracked when you brushed its surface.

Mountain Shaper kicked you out without thinking twice.

But hey! The next day your classes on Culture from the Mortal Perspective began! A quick but calm walk through Liyue that got spread when a bunch of kids recognized you.

How could they not remember the person who plays with them every time they get a chance?

Ganyu sat by the side of the road on an empty bench, watching you scamper the children who seemed happy at your mere presence. Like the occasional accidents of a child, the curious and outlandish nature cannot be controlled, only accepted.

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CHONGYUN

Don’t move! The future best exorcist in the world, Chongyun, will put an end to your legacy of misdeeds and pranks! No evil specter that causes bad luck will survive to-!

Just by lightly tapping with your fingertips you were able to break the seal of the talismans that surrounded you out of nowhere. Pushing back the boy who was convinced that he had beaten his yang.

how dare u interrupt him.

Another of Xingqiu’s pranks? Isn’t this going a little to far? He hadn’t learn about not believing everything his friend says smh.

Let’s just mess with him a little.

‘Measure your words, human. In the presence of the God of Chaos, the first thought that should run through your mortal instinct is to beg for your life, since those who dare to defy them will be punished and displayed as a trophy in the infinity of the abyss from which the catastrophe came out.’

You took a few steps closer to him, while Chongyun kept backing away. The scene was so dramatic that you had to stop when the boy summoned his sword.

Haha jk, nice to meet u.

It's nice to know that there are still such dedicated exorcists out there.

But wait-, so you're not an evil spirit? A God? Why is there a god causing accidents all over Liyue!? That makes no sense! If you think you can deceive him by pretending to be a deity then he shall punish you severely for disrespecting them!

After a detailed explanation of your identity, Chongyun's mood plummeted again due to another failure as an exorcist.

He sat silently on a rock and remained silent, his expression showed so well his disappointed that it made you feel like it was your fault.

Ohno, a sad human child, your weakness-

At the end you sat next to him to listen to what he had to say.

Did he really want to see a spirit so badly? Those things are horrible, wearing strange clothes and yelling all the time, buagh! The thought of it gives you chills. But there's nothing you can do, after all they are drawn to your chaos.

When you finished talking so indifferently about what you lived through from day to day, you looked back at Chongyun, finding his expressive eyes filled with astonishment and disbelief.

Are you a magnet of evil? Chaos and destruction? Demons and spirits alike appear wherever you go?

Then you stopped him, it wasn't something to take so lightly; there’s also the chaos of the butterfly effect, natural disasters, unforeseen events, influencing the mood of evil people, losing your favorite pair of socks-

But you attract spirits, right!? You have to help him! How can you say ‘no’ to that face?

The next day he took you to one of his commissions as an exorcist, a house that had numerous reports from its previous tenants. He stayed outside and asked you to come in first, obviously you refused, if your chaos broke something inside you would have more problems besides the ghosts of the house.

He insisted a little more, it worked. Now you were waiting to feel the presence of some spirit trying to attack you. You could feel it, their energy was spread throughout the building, but still there was no movement. Neither hostility, neither terror, just the presence of a soul.

When it was Chongyun's turn to enter you explained this to him, his yang was also easy to perceive, you could describe it as a blizzard in the middle of the storm. But despite this, that presence didn’t react to his energy, nothing changed.

Then you understand it, your energies neutralized each other. Your chaos and his yang ended in a stalemate that went nowhere.

“I was really hoping to see an actual spirit and not only stay still in the middle of the entrance… “

“Well, I can still curse you. Want to try?” Chongyun crossed his arms, annoyed for your jokes.

“Maybe I should exorcize you instead… ”

“Ohh, so the little exorcist wants a deity to be his personal dummy? Let’s make a pact then. Promise me your soul.”

“I-I thought you said you weren’t actually a demon!”

When you stroked his hair he couldn't help but think about how much he still had to learn, so much so that even the gods were taking pity on him.

[tastyykpop]

jeno extra filthy degradation please 😭

ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ

Pairings: jeno x reader

Genre: smut

Warnings: dom/sub themes, degradation, brat!reader, brat tamer!jeno, spanking, fingering, eating out, overstimulation

you were annoying

that was as simple as jeno could make it. he found you absolutely insufferable. and the countless of times you've opened your mouth to make a stupid comment was like nails on a chalkboard.

sure you were pretty and kind to others but not very much to him. you were rude, cocky, and persistent, it was your way of getting his attention. and to say it worked was an understatement, you were on jenos mind 24/7. no matter where, when, or who he was with, he could only think about you. of course, you were the same, but that's because you've had a crush on him since trainee days and almost everyone in SM knew.

jeno knew.

since you worked at SM as a stylist, it was easy to get closer to jeno and work your magic everyday. you were blatant with every touch, every shameless sentence that entailed more then it should, he couldn't quite ignore it either or tell you to shut up. seriously, it doesn't work.

you're a brat, he would say to himself, nothing more than a brat that doesn't know her place.

which in this case, he was correct.

but to him, your behavior was easy to change. he's noticed how you've drawn blanks when he interrogates you on your behavior, how you downplay your wrongs to see him try and hold back his longing to make you submit. it was a game to you clearly, but jeno wanted to beat it.

so how did you end up under jeno so soon in the practice room?

well, the group had been preparing for a dance practice video and you and a few other stylists were called in to help get them prepare for the camera. jeno was trying his best to stay low and out of your sight. it didn't work, but it was worth a shot.

"happy to see me?"

jenos eyes rolled, "I'd be happy if I saw death staring at me in the eyes." he began walking away until you grabbed his arm, making him put his hands over his face.

"dont be like that." you push his hands away now seeing jenos annoyed face. "be lucky you're not stuck with someone else. at least I make your life more interesting.

"interesting or frustrating? I think you've got your words mixed up."

you began applying a light foundation on jenos skin, taking in his angelic features before realizing what he said, "impactful I must say. I know you love me, jeno."

jeno makes a face in disgust pushing your hand away from his face, "youre not my type."

"I dont know. chenle told me otherwise...."

"youre a brat."

"and you're close-minded."

"close- you-"

"done. now go dance and make some fangirls or boys scream." you don't bother turning around as you walk towards the back of the dance practice out of the cameras view.

jeno, somewhat red in the face, stood in his starting position for the choreography, you couldnt help but stare at him in awe. hes gorgeous, you can't lie about that. and the way he moved once the music started playing made you feel different. maybe it was your crush on him, but you heated up very quickly while watching him. other staff members weren't paying as close attention on the boys as you were, only their phones caught their mind. you didn't mind, but damn did they not see how hot jeno was when dancing?

sweaty and out of breath, the boys took a break to get a drink of water.

"you did well- you all did actually." handing jeno a bottle of water, he stared between the thing in your hand and you before taking it and chugging the whole bottle. "but I think mark was the one who stood out to me the most."

"what?"

"mhm. mark was very fluid in his footsteps and his movements were clean and precise. a good dancer I must say."

there's something up. you were staring at him the whole time and he knew it, he danced harder just because you were watching. how could you have seen mark when all you did was stare at jeno?

"and hes cute too. surely he's got a bunch of girls and boys ready to throw themselves at him. I would too, he's absolutely perfect."

jeno balled his fist. what game are you trying to play? "you're testing me." he may not like you, or maybe he did, but something about you talking about someone else like that sparked jealousy in him.

"good. maybe you'll do something about it." you put a hand on his chest, jenos heart pounding fast as you came closer and whispered, "I bet you won't. all bark no bite. pathetic if you ask me."

"youre gonna regret your words if you keep speaking."

"oh really," you leaned back, his eyes pierced your curious ones with a sense of fury and annoyance, "and what are you gonna do? spank me?"

just like that jeno pulled you out of the room and into another practice room. he pulled a chair out from the corner and pulled you over his knee.

"jeno, I was just kid-"

he spanked you hard over and over and over again as you wailed and wrapped a tight hand around jenos ankle for support. each spank was painful and to the point unbearable, yet jeno didn't back down. not after he felt he could break you now.

each time his hand made contact with your ass, felt like he was letting loose all the pent up anger you caused him over the past months you've been working here. for him, it was hell. no matter what people would say to you about him did not dictate his feelings about you. right now, he hated you and needed to let that burning passion out by spanking you. jeno wanted you to feel the hell he endured when around you. sure enough, you were feeling it, crying and sobbing on his thigh like an idiot.

you didn't fight back even though you proposed that you hated it. your body seemed to like it more then you thought.

"youre a pest!" he landed another hard hit, "an annoying pest who needs to learn when to shut the fuck up. now apologize."

"no!" you winced at another hit, squirming- no more like trying to grind on his lap because of how painfully wet you've become in just minutes.

"apologize." he repeated.

"you're- you're an idiot if you think I'll give up!"

jeno stripped you of your pants and panties, "its cute listening to little sluts like you thinking they have power over someone much stronger then them. it must be tiring thinking youre charge." he taunted before spanking you again, this time the impact was far greater and almost caused you to scream before jeno clasped a hand over your mouth. with the same hand, he pushed you off his lap and on the floor, leaving your lower half bare for him to see.

you were a pretty sight, a mess to say the least, but jeno loved that. finally seeing you disheveled with tears leaking down your cheeks, he thought of you as his little crybaby. he tried his hardest not to take a picture.

"don't think I didnt notice how your wet cunt leaked all over my thigh" he began, "do you really get off to being put in your place, slut? is that why we're here right now?"

"d-dont be so full of y-yourself."

"oh? but your dripping all over the practice floor, how could i not." jenos lips were close to your heat, teasing you with his eyes and tongue as he glided it just above where you wanted him.

you had nothing to say, yet your eyes told him everything. told him just how you'd defy him any chance youd get only to make him more upset. it wouldn't be fun if your goal wasn't to piss him off.

jeno kept his tongue away from your most needed area, his lips kissing anything but your dripping heat as you bucked your hips into his face. jenos hands would push your hips down and back his face away frowning at your behavior and returning to what he was previously doing. you weren't done though, since he was holding your hips, you grabbed his hair and forced his head where you needed him. his tongue inside you was far from good, it was amazing. and though you realized jeno wasn't pushing your hand away, you pushed and pulled his hair as you kept his head in place so he couldn't stop.

the long strides and the smooth rhythm he had was enough to make you arch against the floor, gasping and calling out his name far to loudly for his liking. but with watchful eyes and a steady tongue, he shamelessly enjoyed it yet he had to be aware of the people in the building. one loud moan and someone would sure walk in to see what's up.

so jeno swatted your hand away from his head and lifted up with a frown. he liked the frightened look on your face as he leaned closer and closer, "if you're this much of a slut for people to hear us, we might as well have just stayed where everyone else was."

"thats hot." you stated blankly, jenos eyebrow raised before realizing how far gone you practically were, with how big and dilated your eyes are. "w-wait no! I'll stay quiet I promise."

"No you wont." jeno got up and grabbed your underwear that layed on the floor, then shoved it in your mouth allowing you to taste yourself. "stay quiet, fucktoy."

"fucktoy?- oh fuck!" you mumbled into your panties as his fingers protruded inside you. at least you were quieter this time.

"tell me when youre about to cum." he said just above a whisper as he watched you slip further and further into bliss. the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head with each skillful thrust from jenos fingers made his cock grow harder each second. you were so hot, so damn beautiful as you moaned into the panties like a little bitch. jeno loved it too much to say he hated you.

"feels good- f-feels so good, j-jeno." you said quietly into the panties. it was getting harder and harder for you to keep silent as he began rubbing your clit like a desperate man, hungry for your cum. but you did your best keeping low.

you grinded against on his hand, inching closer and closer to what you believed to be your orgasm. clentching tightly around jenos fingers you gasped and spat your panties out, "jeno! i-im gonna-

"cum, fucktoy." he insisted, never removing his fingers from your wet hole as a white substance spilled out. he kept going, in and out, in and out as you clamped a hand over your mouth. so much sensitivity and his fingers were still going.

"stop i-i can't take it!" you found his wrist and tightly held it as you attempted to pull him out.

"youre gonna take this like a good bitch until I want to stop." he said right as your second orgasm washed through you.

too much. you could barely think straight and even tried pulling your hips back but his fingers followed.

too sensitive. you could barely breathe because of the overwhelming sensitivity. yet in a twisted way, it felt good in a strange way. maybe it was the pain of cumming over and over or how jeno worked his fingers. either way, you could feel another one building up.

"please, please, please." you cried hoping for the end, but there was no way jeno was stopping.

"apologize and this will be your last one." He stuck his fingers deeper, if that were possible, and watched you squirm trying to find words to say, but all that came out was drool. "disgusting whore." you slapped him in the face for that.

"I-i am not sor-sorry!"

"im not playing these games anymore. say you're sorry."

jeno growled, deeper and deeper he went and faster and faster he goes before your third orgasm of the day came. your legs shook and your grip got tighter but still to no avail did he stop.

you were very persistent on making jeno angry before, but now you seemed to have started rethinking that apology. "im sorry."

"for?"

"for being rude to you!" you legs shook again and that feeling in your stomach was back, "i-im sorry jeno, but p-please I can't take it!"

he did it. he broke you. and with that he finally pulled his fingers away letting all your cum out.

you cried softly, still a shaking mess from the orgasms and jeno, well he didn't care all too much but he knew he probably shouldn't be too harsh with you about now. so he gently took you in his arms, sitting your bare bottom right on his lap as he rocked you slowly.

"im never leaving after this." you say slowly, "and I know you don't hate me either, I can feel your boner against my ass."

jeno pinches your arm and shushes you. god, you were a pest and maybe youre right. maybe he doesn't hate you like he proclaimed he did. maybe he did enjoy this session in the practice room, but he won't ever say it. not because he's afraid to admit it, but because he doesn't want you to rub it in his face.

[fatuilady]

— 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 - 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠. (headcanons)

✦ word count : 2.6𝐤

✦ feat : 𝐆𝐍 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 , [𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭] 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨, 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭, 𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜, 𝐤𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐚, 𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐨𝐫, 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢

✦ context : 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐮𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ~

✦ cw : 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲, 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 (kaeya lol)

✦ note : apologies this one took so long, work had been swamping me ;-; ! quite long, pretty wordy, almost oneshots, but i hope you all enjoy anyway :)

𝖆𝖑𝖇𝖊𝖉𝖔 :

✦ This particular chalk prince is all too enthralled with delicacy. His very mantra is all about the fragility of life and creation, surely, you're no exception. He has a unique fascination with life and death, yet seemed to focus little on the precious moments between the cradle and the grave.

✦ Albedo is always gentle, shy and chaste when he embraces you.

✦ At first, he was unfamiliar with the sentiment as social contact had never been his forte, since he was in fact a wall of stone (or chalk?). He'd declined your open offer from his own inexperience, he failed to consider that it may portray him as cold, distant or unwelcoming.

✦ Soon enough, Albedo would begin to ponder how such a simple interaction could bring strong emotion to humankind, yet the more he dwelled upon it, the more he found his arms feeling empty. It was as if his hypothesis was proving itself wrong.

✦ Eventually, he'd come to terms with his growing curiosity, always one to initiate an experiment, he'd offer himself to return the affections - he was very glad he did.

✦ Albedo's coy nature would let him drape one arm around your shoulder, the other taking your hand. He'd wrap his soft hands around your own, placing his head beside your own. His hair would smell soft, newborn and clean, the scent of fresh cotton, baby powder and angel feathers beside your nose as he buried into you.

✦ The chalk prince unfortunately would struggle to find the time for such intimacy on the regular, but when he did find the chance to embrace you, he'd make them last as long as he could.

✦ Perhaps this still lingered from his limited understanding of social cues, but he'd hold onto you for many minutes, more than you could count on one hand. Taking you in his arms, he would touch you as if you were a blooming Cecelia, tenderly and lovingly. You'd return his care, cuddling him and wrapping both arms around his back.

✦ During his hugs, he'd also sometimes find himself tracing over your body with inquisitive hands. Albedo had never had the chance to properly appreciate your anatomy in such a manner before, but he quickly fell in love with your form.

✦ Albedo soon began to realise the adoration behind hugs; his adoration for you also began to grow. Slowly but surely, he actively began to seek out your displays of affection, whether to feel your warmth, play with the fabric of your clothes or caress your shape, he wasn't sure.

'Thank you... deeply, for sharing this moment, you... resemble a statue, I couldn't think of anyone better suited for such an embrace.'

✦ What he was sure of was that he had appreciated the beauty of life in the same way ever before than he did when he was swaddled in your arms.

𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖙𝖙 :

✦ The young adventurer is notoriously unlucky, his clumsiness an infamous curse that seems to follow him wherever he goes. It's precisely the reason he's very hesitant to come too close to you, for fear his awful fortune will wipe off on you. No matter how careful he seems to be, there's always something the archons never seem to be on his side.

✦ Instead of his bad luck rubbing off on you, maybe your good luck would rub off on him, at least, that's what you believed.

✦ Bennett was more than surprised when you asked for a hug, your request catching him quite off guard. He'd think on it for a moment, face painted in light pink as he reached for an invisible itch on the back of his neck.

✦ As the leader of Benny's Adventure Team, he'd find it fitting to stand alongside you, carefully tossing one of his arms over your shoulder. He'd snatch you closer with a squeeze, the marigold colour bandana he wore knotted around his upper arm tickling your chin.

✦ The hug itself would be friendly, full of total and mutual trust as you too curled an arm around his front and back. You'd both sway, beaming as laughing as he flashed you an appreciative thumbs up, the sunkiss on his skin making the clumsy boy hold the same warmth as a summer beach.

'I think you're my favourite adventure buddy, I must have been lucky for once to meet someone like you, traveller!'

✦ Bennett would hope to keep moving through Mondstadt with his arm around you. The idea was short lived, to say the least.

✦ As ever, his curse would catch him at the worst moment, a measly loose stone in the plaza floor catching his foot. Bennett tumbled, and so, you tumbled as well.

✦ The active boy would try his best to manoeuvre himself to catch you before you scraped the ground. You'd end up likely crossed over his lap, a compromising position, but it was all in good fun. You loved Bennett's antics, he brought excitement to what could have easily been a mundane life.

✦ Caught up in giggles, Bennett kept his arms crossed over you as he drew his head around to press both yours and his cheeks together. The moment was another perfect instance for a scrapbook, even some of Mondstadt's more grouchier personas sparing a chuckle for you both.

𝖉𝖎𝖑𝖚𝖈 :

✦ For a pyro wielder, Diluc Ragnvindr doesn't present himself warmly. Seemingly tired, uninterested and slightly callous, he concerns himself with practical matters when he is alone: economist by day, vigilante by night. Stuck in his ways, he'd see no purpose in day to day public displays of affection.

✦ This doesn't mean he dislikes contact in private, however.

✦ The common misconception would leave one to believe Diluc was a stone gargoyle, incapable and unwilling to act in any other way. Alone with you, he couldn't be further from it, in fact, in most cases, he's the one to initiate the contact, sometimes without even asking.

✦ When, and only when, perfect conditions are met does Diluc lets go of his tough exterior and ultimately boils down to a lovesick puppy. However, he much prefers to be alone alongside you, of course, in these endeavours.

✦ With nobody else in sight, he would be quick to start loving, his stature still ever strong as he discarded his gloves. The dark side of dawn much preferred to hold you with his bare hands to further lift your caring skinship.

✦ Diluc would wear a sincere smile, one of patience and relief as he drew closer to you. He'd wait for you to signal him with your own charming grin, and only then would he leap into the biggest, most tender bear hug one could conjure.

✦ Strong arms suffocated you as one hand rested on the back of your head, savouring the softness of your hair. The other would cross behind you and after a few compassionate minutes, he'd concentrate his strength to lift you up, up and further into his arms.

✦ If you would like to be put down, he'd place you gentle back onto the floor, releasing you slowly. The flaming hero would notice the mess he had made of your hair, tussling it back to it's usual shape with his fingers.

✦ Otherwise, you could wrap your legs around him, and whilst supporting you, he'd spin around and hold you tightly. Head against his chest, you'd twirl stray strands of his strawberry coloured ponytail in your fingers, relishing in the lingering scent of warm booze, sweet flowers and flecks of ash.

'I apologise for the wait, I'm glad you're still here, you know how dearly I treasure your touch.'

✦ He almost seemed a natural, more so than his love driven brother when it came to private intimacy, but truthfully, he still held small amounts of insecurity. His worry would be holding you too roughly, but the more you insisted you loved his hugs, the more the people of Mondstadt would notice him acting much more chipper during his day shifts at Angel's Share.

𝖐𝖆𝖊𝖞𝖆 :

✦ Smooth talking, smooth moving, smooth loving, there's nothing about the Favonius Cavalry Captain that doesn't radiate utmost self confidence. He acts on his own accord, conducting how he pleases. Still one for manners, he'd clear the water with you far in advance before laying on the next level of his flirtatious affairs.

✦ Kaeya Alberich is incredibly touchy, his behaviour consistent in public, private, wherever he happens to be in the same space as you. His hugs are amatory; romanced laced in the most teasing way.

✦ You could be communing with citizens of Mondstadt, researching in the library, helping sweep away stray leaves at the cathedral on behalf of a desperate attendee. Kaeya makes a habit of catching a glimpse of you as he patrols the city, making a discreet beeline to catch up to you.

✦ Regardless of if you were courting or merely on mutual acquaintanced basis, he'd know exactly which places to stir up when he hugged you from behind.

✦ The frostbearing swordsman would care little about an outside audience, and would enjoy it in true deriding manner if you grew flustered at simply the thought of being intimate in public.

✦ Kaeya would snake his arms around your waist, hands smoothing over the angles or curves. Afterwards, he'd lean into the crook of your neck to place a gentle kiss on your skin.

'I simply couldn't wait another moment, you're heavenly~'

✦ His hair, much like is brothers, would flow over your shoulder like a rich waterfall, scented with rose oil, glistening jasmine and chai.

✦ In private, Kaeya would be even more adoring, favouring a gentler approach opposed to his more teasing public affections. He'd love for you to sit between his legs on the couch, back rested against his chest.

✦ A master of fine swordmanship, he'd be oh so gentle, his touches feather soft, sometimes even so gentle you wouldn't even notice they were there. Regardless, he loves more than life to make a fuss over you when you hug, he loves to play with your hair, he loves to spin circles into your skin with careful fingertips, he loves to whisper every word you'd like to hear all with the intent of making the moment stretch for as long as it could.

✦ Kaeya knew he was free to share his love with you at any moment, but that didn't keep him from making each hug count, after all, he simply just adores the way you fit perfectly into him.

𝖗𝖆𝖟𝖔𝖗 :

✦ Razor is a curious soul, one of primal roots. Human intimacy is worlds apart from the care he shared with his Lupical, so he craves the best of both worlds. The wolf boy wants to learn, who better to verse him in human affection than you?

✦ When you'd ask him if he would like a hug, he was unsure what it was. He'd tilt his head to the side, clueless, but eager nonetheless. If he had a tail like his canine brother and sisters, it would surely be swaying side to side by now

✦ You'd find it adorable how he'd mimic your movements like a puppet, you raised an arm and he'd do the same.

✦ As you brought yourself closer to him, he'd hesitate slightly, his feral nature urging him to step away, but his human mind knew he trusted you, so he stayed in place and allowed you to cuddle him.

✦ When wolves displayed the same behaviour, it was one of threatening origin, normally the kickstarter of an incoming fight, but with you, he felt no threat at all. Admittedly, he seemed a little stiff when you engulfed him, not quite sure what to do with his limbs, he marvelled in place for a moment.

✦ Razor felt a flurrying heat collect in his face as he gasped, gradually relaxing his shoulders as he melted away into your embrace. He also might have felt his eyes sting a little with joyful tears, it was something new, surely, but the half wolf didn't mind it.

✦ He tried to sneak a glance at how you were holding him so he could do his best to replicate it. Hesitantly, he placed his arms around you in return, though they almost seemed to lag as he moved them. Once they were securely around you, Razor felt himself click into place and squeeze tightly.

✦ Gentle wind breezed over you, catching his distinct scent of earth, fresh rain and crushed berries. He seemed a little cold from the touch, but this was expected from somebody who spent his life outside in the roaming scape of Wolvendom.

✦ His hair, though mildly knotted in some places, truly did feel plush like a wolf's pelt, ideal to pat and stroke.

'You are...warm... Razor likes it, I will... stay, for a while'

✦ Razor had discovered two things: He now loved hugs possibly more than hunting, but what he loved most was your hugs specifically.

✦ He'd be more subtle, yet increasingly obvious in the future. Whenever the overgrown puppy of a boy would crave some attention, he'd shuffle close to you, raising his arms in the same way you did when you introduced the concept to you. Moreover, he'd be seeking you out a lot-

𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎 :

✦ A carefree and free flowing spirit by design, Venti is true to his element when it comes to hugs. He's a very affectionate boy, but in a more innocent sense. Always full of mischievous laughter, he appreciates the silliness and fun behind the little things.

✦ The windborne bard would be very open about hugs and public affections, often asking both if he could receive and give. When accepting his proposal, you'd get to see him close his eyes in delight, cheering to himself in a childish manner.

✦ He'd be all about the performance, being a bard and all gives him this habit. Laughter, singing, general sounds of delight, whatever he can conjure, Venti would beam with happiness from even the smallest contact with you.

✦ Venti would run and spring into you through the long grass strewn across Starsnatch Cliff, gusts of anemo following his excited behaviour.

✦ What's most humouring is the rather short boy propping himself up on the tips of his toes in order to better the hug, draping both of his arms around your neck.

✦ The bard would love to look into your eyes, placing a cheeky kiss on the tip of your nose. Another common practice would be cupping your face with one hand, holding it in his palm with nothing but adoration.

✦ Another curious trick of his involves his elemental skill. Charging it, he'd hold onto you tightly, chirping as you'd both lock into each other.

'Ehe, hold on tightly, I don't want you to fall!'

✦ In one single burst, you'd be launched upwards by a powerful gust, high enough to see all of Mondstadt in the unexpectedly strong arms of your favourite Archon.

✦ Brushing stray hairs that came loose from your hairstyle during the departure, he was something freeing, a breath of fresh air as you drifted contentedly to the delicate grass below.

✦ Everything about the old young bard seemed peaceful as you'd stay warm, knitted together laying down amongst the dandelions.

© 𝖋𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖉𝖞 .

[juletheghoul]

Dulcis (Part I)

This is my formal submission to The Pit™️ (so much filth)

This is going to be a two part series! It doesn't end here

(I know this might not be everyone's cup of tea since it is about infidelity. Reader is engaged and David is married. Please feel free to skip this if that doesn't interest you!)

Dave (Murder Daddy) York x F!Reader

Pairing: David York x F!Reader

Word Count: 12K (are we even surprised at this point)

Warnings: **TRIGGER WARNING** NSFW 18+ INFIDELITY! (reader is engaged, David is married) language, Smut, PIV sex (wrap it up), dirty talk, **daddy kink** oral (m receiving / mentions of female receiving) vaginal fingering (in a public space), praise & aftercare, guilt?- let me know if I missed any!

Masterlist Part 2

---

“Alright who’s up first?” They all looked away from you, they always do this when they have to present their projects. It’s understandable, you could remember doing it when you were in school.

“If no one volunteers I’ll have to pick someone.” You smiled sympathetically. You saw a couple of your braver students raise their hands. Once the first student went the others saw that like always- it wasn’t so bad.

You managed to get through all of them before lunch which, as a second grade teacher, was a miracle.

They were a little rowdy during the lunch hour but that was to be expected. You used the much needed break to gather your things for the math work that had to be done after recess.

You felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you checked your messages- there were two from your fiancé Charlie.

Can’t we just elope?

Hi by the way

You could have killed him, you sighed, smiling as you quickly responded to him.

No, hi! Don’t make me say I told you so while I’m at work, I take it your hunt for the tux isn’t going so well?

You had suggested eloping right when he’d proposed, a big wedding wasn’t something you needed. A trip to the courthouse and a nice dinner after would have been just fine with you.

It’s bullshit, lol I fucking hate shopping - I’ll figure it out, have a great day at work, love you xo

You quickly put your phone away at the commotion in class.

Two of the kids were arguing, it was getting intense and you had no idea what caused it.

“Okay you two settle down, finish your lunch - recess-“

One of the students suddenly punched the other square in the face. It was a practised, precise thing and it shocked you.

“Alice! We do not hit.” You didn’t yell it but you used a tone that silenced all the children. You quickly made your way over to them, Jacob was bleeding from the nose and you called the school nurse to come get him. Calling the principal after to let her know what happened.

“Alice, you’re staying inside during recess with me, that was unacceptable. I’m going to have to call your parents. You know we don’t fix things by fighting.” You spoke to her in a neutral tone, trying to keep the anger out.

“But he-“ you cut her off.

“No, none of that. We’ll discuss this with your parents.” You didn’t want to hear it, you looked through your desk for the contact sheet to call while the kids played outside. She sat at her desk quietly, watching you through sad eyes.

“Hi, I’m looking for David York? I’m Alice York’s teacher and I need to speak to him please.” The receptionist sounded wary, she asked for your name and the name of the school and you provided the information. You waited for him to pick up but the receptionist came back and informed you that Mr. York was currently away from his desk but that she would leave a message. Hopefully Mrs York would pick him.

“Hi is this Carol York? Hello Mrs York, yes I’m calling about Alice? Yes that’s right, no she’s fine there’s no emergency but I do have to ask you and your husband to come in for a meeting with me tonight. Well there’s been an incident…” You explained what happened and she was very apologetic, agreeing to come to see you right after work.

You quickly texted Charlie to let him know you’d be late.

******

Alice didn’t give you any more trouble for the rest of the day, Jacob had a bit of a bloody nose but overall he was okay.

The day went smoothly and as all of the children went home you had Alice sit and colour while you both waited for her parents. You didn’t have to wait long.

Your head lifted at the soft knock at your door, you saw an apologetic looking woman and her very bored looking husband.

“Hello, we’re so sorry! I’m Carol and this is my husband David, Alice come here and explain yourself.” She walked over to your desk to shake your hand. David followed reluctantly.

“What happened kiddo?” He asked her as she approached.

“Jacob took my notebook and wouldn’t give it back.” She looked at her mother ashamed.

“We don’t hit you know that! I’m so sorry about this - we’ll have a talk with her when we get home.” She sat at the chairs you gestured to - you noticed David’s face as Alice spoke. A sly smile, quickly wiped away to look stern. Was he proud of her?

You agreed with the need to stick up for yourself but taking a notebook was hardly a reason for two second graders to resort to a brawl. He saw you looking at him and he nodded sagely.

“We’re very sorry about this.” He wasn’t sorry.

You took him in as Carol spoke to Alice in hushed tones on her lap, he was an imposing man, tall and broad. He wore a suit and for all the world looked like a professional but there was something about him that made you blush. You had the vague sense that he was undressing you with his eyes and it made your heart race. He was very handsome, but in a sinister way.

“Never again right Alice?” You spoke to her before turning your attention to her parents. “She’ll have detention for the next two days, no recess, but I won’t keep her after school.” You spoke as neutrally as you could with Mr York's eyes boring into you. You could almost feel them burning you.

“Yes of course, that’s not a problem. We will talk about this when we get home, young lady.” Carol spoke half to you and half to her daughter. David continued to stare.

You were thankful this would be it and were just getting ready to guide them to the door when he spoke.

“How are her grades otherwise? Is she doing well?” He said it in a low tone.

You could learn to crave that voice.

Get a fucking grip

“They’re good, she’s a great student otherwise, got an A on her book report today. Just have to remember to keep our hands to ourselves right?” You smiled warmly at her, doing your best to not look him in the eye.

“That’s great to hear, thank you so much for reaching out - please feel free to contact me for anything.” Carol started gathering Alice’s things.

David continued to stare at you, you saw him boldly look you up and down as you walked around your desk to see them out. Carol was too busy getting Alice into her jacket to see him.

He looked at you like she wasn’t even there.

He smirked as he swiped his thumb across his bottom lip, his gaze focused on the length of your dress. Your eyes widened at the nerve of him, absolutely no regard for his wife or his daughter.

He was devouring you with his eyes and you did absolutely nothing to stop him. You flushed - whether from disgust or excitement you’d never know but it did not deter him. He clapped his hands together and thanked you for your time.

Your heart hammering even after they’d left.

**********

The music was blaring when you walked through the door to your little apartment. You could hear Charlie singing along as he pulled something that smelled absolutely divine out of the oven.

“Hey babe! I made dinner, I got home a bit early.” He kissed you hello as he put the lasagne on the table.

“Oh god that smells good.” You smiled as you all but dropped everything to sit and eat with him.

You both discussed how your respective days had gone, about what you both had to do and like almost every conversation you’d had during the past seven months- it ended up on the wedding. If you were honest the whole thing was starting to grate on your nerves.

You’d always known the two of you were going to get married. From the first time you saw him, he was so handsome and sweet and he seemed to live his life in order to make you happy. The wedding however, it seemed all wrong. The both of you were simple, you were the kind of people who didn’t make a big fuss.

This wedding was a big fuss.

“My mom says she’s paying for the flowers, I insisted that it wasn’t necessary, that it didn’t matter but she pushed- and you know my sister wants to help with something.” Charlie was notoriously easy going so you took his ‘insisting’ with a grain of salt.

“Your family would pay for the whole wedding if we let them.” You prodded gently, his family seemed to want this wedding more than you did. It was overwhelming.

“They just want grandchildren, they think the faster we get married the faster I’ll get you pregnant.” He laughed, you’d talked about children before and you both wanted them but you’d decided to wait a little bit. You both wanted to enjoy married life.

-

While showering after having cleaned up, your mind curiously wanders to a place you didn’t expect.

You were thinking about Mr York. You didn’t even really know why - yes he was handsome but it was more than that. He was intriguing, he seemed dangerous somehow.

That was surprising, why should he be dangerous? Charlie pulled back the curtain pulling you sharply out of your reverie, and scaring you half to death.

“Sorry!” He laughed as he got in with you. You felt guilty, like you’d been caught but he mistook your guilty look for fear.

“You scared the fuck out of me!” You tried to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest as you stepped into the water, rinsing the shampoo out of your hair.

You felt Charlie’s hands circle your waist as he laughed.

“Sorry babe, I didn’t mean to.” He kissed your shoulder as he joined you under the hot spray, his hands roaming over the soft skin of your belly. They slipped over your soapy skin, up towards your breasts. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his fingers as they pinched and plucked at your nipples the way he knew you liked.

He continued with his exploration, running one hand down under it, spreading your folds and honing in on your clit. Gliding over it over and over until you were panting, the other hand still on your breast. You closed your eyes as you leaned your head back onto his shoulder - your hands finding themselves in his hair.

“Faster- please” You were almost there, it was so good and the thought came to you out of nowhere. You imagine for a split second that it was Mr York in the shower with you instead of your fiancé. His fingers between your legs, his cock rubbing up against your ass and you came harder than you had any right to. Your fingers clutching at Charlie’s hair almost painfully tight.

He kissed your shoulder and turned you around to kiss you on the mouth to take it further but the guilt wouldn’t let you. You needed a few minutes to get your shit together.

“Babe, let’s wait until we’re in bed- I’m not really feeling shower sex right now.” You kissed him softly and pulled away.

“Okay honey.” He smiled at you, complacent even though his dick was hard and leaking precum, weirdly this annoyed you.

Charlie was a sexual guy, he enjoyed it. That you knew, and you couldn’t exactly complain about your sex life. He was attentive and he did his best to make you cum, he took direction well and you had no complaints about his size.

The problem was, Charlie was vanilla.

Sex was three positions if that and he barely talked at all. You had tried to get him to be a little more open and adventurous but he always reverted to his regular routine. Most of the time it was fine, you both got off and you loved him.

Sometimes however, you wanted more. You wanted excitement, you wanted passion. You wanted filth.

Charlie was sweet. You could live with sweet.

He was snoring beside you peacefully, he’d coaxed another orgasm out of you once you both got into bed. The guilt kept you awake though, because you’d imagined Mr York the whole time.

————————-

“I need all of the information you can find on this woman.” David gave your name to his contact, he had to know.

He asked Alice a few probing questions but didn’t want to push it. He didn’t need her telling her mother offhandedly that he’d been curious about you.

He had your name and place of employment, for his line of work - that was more than enough. You were a pretty thing and he was intrigued. He knew you’d seen him, he’d made sure of it. He’d also noticed you looking at him, as much as you tried not to. Saw the gorgeous flush creep it’s way up your neck when he stared at your legs.

He had to get close to you, see if his instincts were right.

He had a full report on you within the hour, he saw that you’d been teaching for about five years. That you were a few years younger than him, engaged, parents on the other side of the country, decent credit score.

All he had to figure out now was how to make his move.

————————

“Remember to show your parents your agendas! We have a trip coming up and I need everyone’s parents or guardians to sign the forms I put in them. Please do not forget. Have a great day and I’ll see you tomorrow.” The kids were frantically packing away their things as the bell wrung, you still watched them as you packed up your things. You had to remember to ask for volunteers in their agendas tomorrow- maybe you could call a few of the more friendlier parents.

A knock at the door made you jump what felt like a foot off the ground. Turning around and seeing who was there did absolutely nothing to calm you down.

“Mr York, what can I do for you?” You tried to speak as calmly as possible. Willing yourself to sound natural and nonchalant.

He walked over to you and it vaguely felt like you were being hunted. His quiet made you uneasy and your anxiety pushed you to fill the empty air with conversation.

“Everything okay with Mrs York? I hope Alice isn’t still in trouble?” He was in your personal space and it was difficult to breathe. He was so big, so tall, his eyes impossibly bright with what looked like mischief.

Never in all your time together has Charlie ever looked at you with this kind of intensity.

Annoyingly, it made you wet.

“They’re fine.” He licked his lips as he stared down at you, the bottom one was full and you had the wild urge to bite it.

What the hell is wrong with me?

You kept backing away from him slowly and he kept pressing forward, you didn’t know what to do or what he wanted but he was overwhelming you.

“I know you saw me looking at you.” He watched your mouth as he spoke and you felt like you couldn’t get your thoughts in order.

“I - I’m engaged…” You blurted it out but either he didn’t register or he didn’t care.

“And I’m married.” He got a little closer, there was a crackling of electricity between the two of you and the tingle of it seemed to be focused on your nipples and your clit. He brought his hand up and traced his thumb over your bottom lip boldly and the act shocked you into complacency, it grounded you on the spot. He saw the shock and excitement in your eyes and he probed a bit to see how far you would go.

“I thought about you. When I fucked her.”

You short circuited, your brain was a puddle and your cunt clenched. You involuntarily let out a gasp at his confession and it brought to mind the thoughts you’d had while with Charlie. You were dripping into your panties.

He pushed his thumb into your mouth a fraction and it was like a damn broke, without even knowing why or stopping to consider the consequences you took his thumb into your mouth and sucked. Hollowing out your cheeks prettily.

He groaned, bringing his thumb back out and spreading your saliva onto your lips.

He came close and you prepared yourself for a kiss but he licked your top lip, so fast you would have missed it. You gasped and he let go. Walking out the door as you caught your breath.

—————

The shame followed you like a shadow, it surrounded you as you drove home in silence.

Charlie’s face haunting you as you felt your arousal soaking your panties. You tried to justify the unjustifiable as you pulled into the parking garage of your building, telling yourself that it was a weird hallucination. You hadn’t actually sucked this man's thumb at the school like a whore. No.

Charlie was sitting on the couch going over the seating arrangement when you walked in. You dropped all of your things and walked over to him, you needed to rewrite your excitement somehow. Transfer it onto Charlie.

“Hey babe-“ you cut him off by plopping down onto his lap, and kissing him silent. He was momentarily stunned but he dropped everything and held onto you.

“You okay?” He asked smiling as he pulled away, you didn’t answer, you hastily pulled up his shirt - trying to get him to join you in your urgency.

“I want you, I’ve been thinking about you fucking me and I want to ride your cock, right here on the couch.” You lied into his ear, poisoned honey dripping from your mouth. You heard him gasp and felt him hardening beneath you.

“Jesus Christ…” Charlie wasn’t much of a dirty talk kind of guy, you wanted him to be but he always said it felt awkward. You usually didn’t push it but today Mr York’s words were branded into your brain.

“My pussy is so wet for you baby.” Another lie, but never mind that.

He groaned but didn’t say anything and it was frustrating, you needed the release however and you let it pass. You imagined Mr York saying some truly filthy things in your ear and it made you feel guilty but you couldn’t help yourself.

He let you work out your excitement and after you both hit your peak you got up and headed for the bedroom. You saw him sitting on the couch, half naked and blissed out as you walked away.

You prodded him gently when you were curled up in bed.

“Charlie, did you like what we did today? On the couch?” You wanted to ease into it.

“Yes, we’ve had sex on the couch before, I always enjoy it with you.” He kissed your forehead.

“Did you like the things I said?” You drew little patterns on his chest as you laid in the dark.

“They were pretty intense, I didn’t not like them?” You could almost feel him blushing, you tried hard not to sigh. You were going to spend the rest of your lives together there was no need to be shy.

“Why don’t you ever talk to me like that when we fuck?” You could feel him trying to retreat but you didn’t want to let him. “There’s no need to be shy around me, we’re going to get married, we should be open.” He wasn’t having any of it.

“I don’t know honey you know I get awkward, just not something I’m comfortable with I guess.”

“Maybe we could get some books or take a class or something? So many different things we could try and I want to try them with you.” You were trying to open him up, you didn’t want to imagine a life of predictable repetitive sex - no matter how much you loved him.

“Maybe, let’s revisit it again at some point. Goodnight honey.” He kissed your forehead again and turned so you were spooning him. You tried to be understanding, you tried to think about respecting his boundaries but all you came up with was Mr York’s thumb in your mouth.

———————————-

“David- David!” His head snapped back to the sound. Carol was standing in front of him with an exasperated look on her face.

“David what is going on? I’ve been calling you for the last ten minutes.” He was thinking of you.

“Sorry honey, my head is still at work. What's going on?” He gave her his most convincing smile and she shook her head, amused.

“Dinners ready, the girls want to tell you about their day. Come on, I made your favourite.” She smiled sweetly as she left his home office. The smile disappeared as fast as it’d been conjured.

---

“How was school today girls?” He couldn’t ask about you outright, had to dance around it.

“It was good, learning about the solar system.” His eldest, Molly. He smiled and asked her how she liked it, she talked about it excitedly and he enjoyed her enthusiasm.

“What about you Alice, how was school today?” His youngest was shy, but he could see his personality in her. A little more intense, a little more reserved.

“Good, we have a field trip next week.” There it is.

“That sounds nice, where are you going?” A field trip - this could do nicely.

“Museum, I have the form in my bag. I need you to sign it.” So many shadowy corners in a museum.

“Go get the form sweetheart, I don’t want to forget.” Carol prompted her.

She came back with it a few minutes later and David held it in his hands. He saw a little note on the form that made him smile despite himself.

Chaperones are always needed - please call to volunteer.

“What do you think about me volunteering for this? I could take a day and it would be nice to take some interest.” He took her hand in his and smiled warmly, looking for all the world to be a devoted father.

“Honey, that's a great idea. I’ll call tomorrow and let them know.” She was happy, and David was happy.

----

The night before a school trip always made you nervous. So many variables - it was hard enough to control a class full of seven and eight year olds in a classroom let alone in a museum. At least a couple of parents had volunteered, you saw Mrs York on the form and it made your heart skip. You imagined she’d be able to see every thought you’d had about her husband on your face.

You fell asleep thinking about him.

---

“Okay kids, let’s settle down. The bus will be here soon and I need to make sure everyone has their buddies. What’s the rule?” You asked over the excited din.

“Stay with your buddy!” They all said it in unison.

“Exactly! Now we will be there all day, we have a lot to see, you can leave your backpacks here. We’re going to have lunch there and we’ll be back in time for those of you who take the bus home. You can have a little free time while we wait for the buses.” They instantly grouped together to chat excitedly while you made sure you had everything in order. There were a couple of parents and you gave them wristbands to put on the children.

“Sorry I’m a few minutes late.” Mr York was walking into your classroom in casual clothes. What the hell was he doing here?

“Hello Mr York, you’re right on time. Where’s Mrs York? I thought she had volunteered?” You tried to ask the question neutrally but he could see the panic in your eyes.

“It was always me, whoever took her phone call must have made a mistake.” He spoke gently but it did something to you. You felt his eyes roaming your body and you flushed.

Great, this is going to be just great.

You did your best to centre your breathing while you led the children down the hall and to the buses. You could feel his eyes on you as you made your way down the hall. You did your best to ignore it.

The students lined up in front of the bus in pairs and you quickly went over the rules again - making sure to look at the three parents who were going with you. You noticed David talking to Alice, telling her to behave today and that he’d be helping you take care of the class.

Two of the parents got in first to sit at the back, Mr York waited until you got on, you were trying to focus but you couldn’t. You could feel him standing close to you and you were beginning to sweat.

You meant to sit alone but he followed closely behind you and pushed his way to the same seat as you. He took up so much space and you didn’t want to make a big fuss in front of the kids.

The bus driver closed the door and you were on your way. It would be about forty-five minutes to an hour until you got there and it hit you then how absolutely fucked you were.

The kids were excited and chatty and the din of them talking and laughing drowned out everything. You decided to focus your attention on the window and the scenery. You did not want to focus on Mr York. He was having none of it though.

“I like your dress.” He spoke into your ear and you shivered.

“Look Mr York-“

“Call me David.” He looked down at your slight cleavage and you sighed angrily.

“Look David, I don’t know what it is you think is going on but I am engaged. I am engaged to be married and you are the married father of one of my students. I would appreciate it if you could keep your interactions with me strictly professional.” You whispered angrily, trying to sound serious. He smiled pleasantly at you as if you were old friends catching up.

“Is that what you would call sucking my thumb? Professional? It seemed like you wished it was something else you’d been sucking.” His words went directly to your cunt. You saw it then, him sitting with that amused look on his face as you kneeled in front of him, with his cock in your mouth like a good girl.

Charlie.

You were in love with and about to marry Charlie.

He saw the look on your face and he smiled-

“What’s your fiancé’s name?” How dare he?

“His name is Charlie and I love him.” Why did you feel the need to explain this to him?

“That may be true, but I get the feeling that Charlie doesn’t quite know how to fuck you. Or you wouldn’t be licking your lips at the thought of my cock in your mouth. Is that it baby? You haven’t been fucked properly? I can fix that.” His words had you dripping. Charlie had never spoken to you like this and it made you so angry to compare them right now.

You closed your eyes and let the words pass over you, you had to focus. You couldn’t let this admittedly handsome, intimidating man come into your life and lay waste. He took your silence as a sign that he was right.

You felt his fingers ghost over your thigh and you felt like you’d been struck by lightning. Your eyes shot to his hand and to your shame, you hoped for something forbidden. He watched you closely.

“I think about you all the time and something tells me that you think about me too. Think about what I could do or say to get you wet enough for me to glide right in. Have you ride my cock, have your tits bouncing in my face.” His hand gripped your thigh and you whimpered slightly, involuntarily angling your body towards him.

“He doesn’t know what you need.” He hand travelled up up up ghosting along your seam, just enough to drive you insane through your panties and you put your head onto his shoulder. He stopped then and took his hand away and you came back to reality.

The guilt hit you like a tsunami and you squeezed yourself closer to the window, trying for all the world to make yourself smaller, and in turn the distance between you bigger.

He smiled and sat quietly for the rest of the ride to the museum.

——————-

The relief you felt when the bus pulled in was astonishing and you had to hold yourself back from barreling over David to get away. You felt him chuckling as you struggled to get away and you held back the urge to slap him across the face by the grace of god.

“Okay class, let’s get together with our buddies and head over to our first exhibit. If you have any questions please feel free to ask our helpers or myself. What’s the rule?”

“Stick with your buddy!” They yelled it out again.

“Exactly, that means even if you have to use the restroom you go with your buddies. Please ask one of the parents or me before you go.” You were back in your element now and it felt better. You were back in teacher mode and you told yourself that you could do this.

The morning went by relatively smoothly, you had all of the children wrangled and you made your way through the exhibits without issue. You were thankful that David kept his distance from you, he helped the children and you saw him doting on his daughter.

You had decided to block out what happened on the bus. It never happened.

By noon the kids were getting feral, you guided everyone up to the cafeteria and had them sit so the adults could grab everyone their food in shifts. All in all it went pretty smoothly and you had managed to put the whole incident out of your mind.

You let one of the parents know that you were going to sneak away to use the bathroom while the kids were all in one place and she told you to take your time.

You can do this, you told yourself as you stared at your reflection in the mirror.

You were blindsided when you came out of the bathroom, a hand covering your mouth and pulling you away into a closed off exhibit. The panic shot through you like lightning and you tried to fight your attacker off - visions of Charlie flashed through your mind, of the wedding, of your family; your students. His voice didn’t calm you.

“Stop fighting, it’s just me.” His tone suggested that this should have calmed you. It did not.

It pissed you off and once you regained your composure and stopped squirming, he loosened his grip. It gave you the opening you needed and you slapped him across the face - or you would have, but his hand shot up cat-quick and grabbed your wrist before your hand could meet its target.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You were seething, the audacity of this man to put his hands on you. You were trying to hold the anger close- bringing it to the forefront of your mind so as to eclipse the excitement. That had no place here... right?

Why are you so fucking excited?

Why does it feel like you’ve never known this kind of excitement until now?

Get it the fuck together, think of Charlie.

“I am going to make you cum.” Those words were thrown out into the air like they meant nothing. Like it was simply a chore to be completed off a list.

He was getting closer. His movements brought to mind the wildlife documentaries that Charlie liked to watch, you could see the big jungle cat slowly stalking towards the gazelle. If you were home and watching this scene unfold on the screen, you would be yelling at yourself to run.

You couldn’t make your legs move, worse still - you didn’t really want to.

Instead you stood there, silent and unmoving. Waiting for the jungle cat to pounce on you, waiting for him to crush your neck with strong jaws and long claws.

Why were you so wet?

“I’m going to pull that short little dress up, and I’m going to make you cum with my fingers. Would you like that baby? You want me to make that little pussy cum?” He was in your space now, towering over you and you couldn’t look away. Your breath was coming hard at the filth pouring out of his mouth.

Charlie never spoke to you this way.

You felt the wall and you realised he’d been herding you, exactly where he wanted you. You looked up at him through your lashes- god he’s so tall, so broad - and his arms came up to rest on either side of your head, essentially caging you in. The heat was rolling off him, was it heat? Or was it your own excitement? You’d never be able to tell, all you knew for certain is that you were dripping. You were feral and you couldn’t stop looking at his mouth. He smiled as he leaned in close, his breath ghosting over your neck as he spoke right into your ear.

“Do you want me to? Do you want me to make you cum baby?” the low tone, the proximity, the wrongness of it. You would never admit it after but you nodded, almost imperceptibly. His smile for you then was genuine.

It felt like his hands were charged with electricity, those wands that they had at science centers that made your skin tingle. You felt it, as his fingers softly skimmed your thigh as they travelled up to your soaked center. He touched the damp spot on your panties and chuckled, then moved them aside swiftly to part your folds. You gasped when he glided his finger over your clit, over and over and over, the pressure far too light.

Your own hands found their way up to clutch at his shirt, you didn’t want to admit that you were holding him close to you. That you didn’t want him to pull away.

“Open up for me baby.” he bit at your ear as he lifted your leg to wrap around his hip, you were spread open for him while he wrapped his arm around your waist to grab at your ass. He was doing this to you during a school trip. This was a low you never thought you’d sink to.

“Just as I thought, look how wet you are - and how tight-” He slid two fingers into you and you moaned, they were thick and you were so turned on it hurt. “Don’t worry baby I’m going to take care of you, make you cum, fuck this tight pussy with my fingers - have to cum fast for me okay? We have to get back. Can you do that? Can you cum for me?” He was kissing your neck and licking your pulse point.

“Answer me, or I'll stop, be a good girl for me.” His fingers pulled out and you whimpered - grabbing at his forearm to pull it back because you needed to cum. He brought his fingers up to your mouth and you looked into his eyes as he rubbed your arousal onto your lips. Your knees almost gave out at the depravity of it, in public. While your students and the other parents waited for you. He was expecting an answer.

“Yes.” Your face was beet red and flushed and the word sealed your fate. He kissed you, rough and fast and it took your breath right out of your lungs. His tongue licked your slick off your lips and plundered your mouth while he fulfilled his promise. His fingers diving back into you, this time with the addition of his thumb on your clit.

You could vaguely hear the wet squelch of your cunt as he sped up. It was so good, it was everything and all you needed was a little push to finally leap into the abyss.

“Come on baby, you’re so fucking wet for me. I think you can take another finger.” The noises were obscene and the stretch was so good - he curled his fingers and touched something white hot and it made you cry out a little louder than you should have. His hand came up and clamped over your mouth and the filth came again. “There it is- that’s what you like right baby? Come on, cum for daddy.” You fell apart then. It was disgusting and you’d never cum this hard in your life.

You were vaguely aware of him fixing your clothes, of him licking every drop of your slick from his fingers.

You were blissed out as you walked back to the table on shaky legs, the guilt creeped in though as you slowly drifted back down to reality, you’d been gone for longer than you thought.

“Sorry about that - we got completely turned around, this place is a maze huh?” Dave spoke, quelling the annoyed looks from the other parents and smoothing it out with practised charm.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look anyone in the eye.

-----

It was hard to focus for the remainder of the trip. You could feel his eyes on you as you wound your way around the different exhibits.

The turmoil between your brain and your body threatened to drive you into madness - you could still feel him inside you and it caused your heart to race, to excite you. Your brain was scolding you. How could you let him do that to you?

Oh Charlie

——

The bus ride back to the school was a bit better, one of the other parents sat beside you and it was as if you could almost pretend that everything was normal. Or you would have been able to - had you not been able to feel David's eyes boring into the back of your head. It was a long ride home.

The school busses were waiting when you pulled into the school and you had to hurry to get your kids to your classroom to get their things. After you made sure they were okay and on the bus you went about getting ready to go home. There was a text from an unknown number in your phone - you didn’t have to guess who it was from.

Be a good girl, and free up a couple of hours for me this Sunday. I will come and get you.

You answered before you could even contemplate what it meant.

Okay.

You didn’t even bother wondering how he would know where to go.

--

You sat in your car, in one of the parking spaces you and Charlie had. You could see his car next to yours and you had no idea how the hell you were going to walk in there and pretend nothing had happened. How could you have done this, moreover how could you have agreed to see David again?

I’ll tell him it has to stop. Whatever it was that we did it was a horrible mistake.

Your heart was racing as you got off the elevator, every step down the hallway was another lump of stone settling in the pit of your stomach. Charlie was in the shower when you got home - you could hear the water running and all you could think of was how you were sure he’d be able to see what you did written on your face. Another stone.

“Hey babe, how was the trip?” he was all smiles and the accusatory pointed finger in your face never came. Instead he walked over to you and hugged you tightly, little beads of water dripping from his hair onto your shoulder.

“It was good, how was your day?” His voice lulled you, made you want to forget everything you’d done and it was easier trying to put the whole thing out of your mind than think about it in front of Charlie. It was a stupid mistake and it wasn’t even worth remembering. On Sunday it would be fixed. You were going to tell David to fuck off and then everything would go back to normal.

“It was good - I was thinking we could go out for dinner tonight. What do you think?” He was all smiles, all sweetness.

“Sure babe.” You tried to be happy. You tried to focus, but you could still feel the stretch of David’s fingers when you moved.

----

I’ll be there in an hour, wear something pretty for me.

The text came in and your heart started racing. You had told Charlie that you were going to the school to prepare some work for tomorrow and he had just smiled and nodded. Told you to take your time - that he loved you.

You were determined to tell David that this was not going to become a thing. It was not going to escalate. You conveniently ignored the fact that you wore your cutest sundress, your sheer panties, the matching bra. It was a confidence thing. Nothing to do with David.

I’m here.

You practically ran out the door. It was to end things, you were in a hurry to end things. There was a big SUV waiting in the visitors parking lot and you saw him sitting, looking at his phone. He smiled when he saw you and you felt the butterflies in your stomach as you got into the front seat. He gave you a once over, the shortness of your dress, the fact that your hair was done - and smiled as he drove away from your building; from your life.

Tell him, tell him to turn around and to take you back home. To leave you alone forever.

“Where are we going?” Was what came out when you opened your mouth.

“Somewhere we can be alone.” Was all he said, his hand moved and rested on your thigh as he drove. You stared at it and to your shame and excitement, you didn’t move it away. He gripped your thigh possessively, stroking the inside of it and it made you ache.

Do it - move his hand away, tell him - go on.

You put your hand on his, but you couldn’t move it away. The heat from his big palm was seeping into your skin and instead you just pressed his hand with yours.

Pathetic.

You were in an abandoned parking garage a little while later and he parked in a far corner. Your blood was pumping and you were nervous. He unbuckled his seatbelt and moved his seat all the way back, so he was far away from the steering wheel.

“David, I don’t think-” You started speaking but he cut you off.

“Come over here.” He tapped his lap and your stomach dropped, you wanted to crawl over there so bad. You stared at him and he raised his eyebrows. “Are you going to be a brat? Come over here, if I have to ask again you’re going to be punished.” You felt the wave of arousal wash over you. What could he possibly mean? You didn’t want to find out - not yet anyway.

You crawled over the console awkwardly and sat in his lap, straddling him. He smiled at you and settled his hands on your thighs.

“Such a good girl for me, did you think about me?” He lifted your dress slightly and grabbed handfuls of your ass. You couldn’t help but groan, you could feel him hardening underneath you and you didn’t even register your hands coming up to wrap around his neck. They seemed to play with the hair at the nape of his neck on their own. How could he excite you so much? “Answer me baby, when I ask you a question you need to answer me.” He was kissing your neck, and slowly undoing the buttons of your sundress.

“Yes.” You breathed as he exposed your bra, the lace so fine it was completely transparent. He smiled as he studied you. Face flushed, dress bunched up around your thighs, lips parted.

“What did you think about?” He runs the pads of his fingers across the tops of your breasts as he speaks and you can’t even begin to rationalise why you’re doing this.

“I thought about you…” you tried to be coy but you knew he wouldn’t leave it there.

“What about me, did you think about me touching you? Tell me.” He separates his body from yours, you can see that he wants you to answer before he continues. You can feel your face getting flushed.

“I thought about what we did at the museum, your hands…” you unconsciously tried to get closer to him and he smiled. He smelled so good, you could feel his cock and it made you ache.

“You thought about my hands? Be specific, baby. Tell me what you thought about.” He started kissing the tops of your breasts, slowly making his way down, kissing every inch he could reach through the fabric. You could feel the slick pooling at your entrance, you knew what he wanted. Your mind briefly went back to Charlie, to how he was intimidated by dirty talk.

“I thought about how I could still feel your fingers in my pussy when I got home. They stretched me so good.” Your face was beet red and your skin was on fire. This was what he wanted. He rewarded you by pulling your bra down, exposing your breasts. Your nipples were hard and begging for his mouth and he obliged; pulling you close so he could wrap his lips around one. His mouth was hot and you could feel his teeth just a little. Just enough to make you moan.

“Such a good girl for me, now you get a reward for being so good for daddy.” He bit your nipple a little harder than you thought and there was a bit of pain but it felt so good you let out a breathy moan. You felt him sucking and in the back of your mind, you knew this would leave a mark. Warning bells were going off, he couldn’t leave a mark. Charlie couldn’t see this.

He let go of one nipple to give the same attention to the other - it was so good you had to clutch at the back of his head, you wanted him closer. All thoughts of the marks forgotten when his tongue felt so good.

“Does it feel good? How wet are you right now baby?” He honed in on your nipple again, holding your breasts in his big hands and alternating between the two.

“Yes, god yes - it feels so good. I’m so wet for you…” All you could do was watch, watch as he licked and licked and licked until you were dizzy from the pleasure. Until you thought you might faint, until your nipples were overly sensitive and you could see the hickeys and the little bite marks.

“Show me how wet you are.” He pulled off and let you scoot back a little, you pulled your dress up and he saw the wet patch on your underwear. It was so bad it had soaked through onto his lap. The bulge in his jeans- a little darker. He groaned and skimmed his knuckle against the damp spot at your core and you shuddered. You were so keyed up from the attention he’d given your breasts that it wouldn’t take much at this point.

He undid his jeans and pulled himself out - his cock was so thick, your eyes widened - momentarily nervous. This whole thing just became real. Touching and words could be justified as a temporary madness, you didn’t know what you were doing. Sex, letting him fuck you - that would be the final line to cross. He saw the hesitation in your eyes.

You watched his hand grasp his cock and slowly start to stroke it between your legs, a pearly bead of precum on the head before his thumb swiped through it. Using it to make the strokes more fluid. He let you watch - saw your tongue lick your lips and he let you make the choice.

He waited for you to make the choice, but he didn’t make it easy.

“You see baby? You see how hard you make daddy's cock? I think about you, about how pretty you would look with it in your mouth, in your throat. About you bouncing on it - fucking you deep. Fucking my cum into you until you’re full of me.” He was working himself up, you could hear the slick strokes and you clenched, you needed him inside you.

Wordlessly, you pulled your panties to the side and scooted closer.

“Tell me. Tell me what you want.” He didn’t stop stroking and you felt yourself getting desperate. You were about to let this married man fuck you in his car, in the middle of a parking garage in broad daylight. You couldn’t remember ever being this excited in your life.

“I want your cock, I want you to fuck me - please.” You were not above begging right now.

He was merciful - he pulled you closer and rubbed his cock through your folds once - then he slid inside. The stretch made you gasp. It hurt a little bit, even with how wet you were.

“Look how well you’re taking me baby, I know it’s a lot - so tight, god you feel so good.” He rested his head on your chest while he let you get accustomed. “Need to get you a little wetter, wet enough to take my big cock.” He focused on your nipples again, making you cry out. You were so full and your nipples were so sensitive you didn’t think you could take any more.

“Please - please move, please make me cum.” You were so overwhelmed you were on the verge of tears. He bucked up once and you gasped - he was pressed up against the spongy spot inside of you that made you see stars and you were moaning, you rolled your hips and as he bucked up into you and you knew the coil was about to snap. He snaked his hand down - pressing his thumb to your clit. Your slick was drenching his lap and you told him i’m gonna cum and he gripped your ass to really buck up and when you came he bit at your breast again.

“God you’re pussy gets so fucking wet when you cum, fuck - squeezing me so fucking tight, I’m going to think about this cunt later.” He came with a groan - open mouthed kisses on your breasts. You could feel his cum dripping out of you and you gave a silent prayer that you were on birth control.

You were not a virgin. You’d had sex before - you’d had good sex before. This wasn’t good sex. This was great sex -this was otherworldly and it scared you with how good you felt. Even with the bites and hickeys on your tits. How were you supposed to hide this? It was hard to feel the guilt when he was rubbing your back like this, when he was kissing your neck and loving you like this.

“You did so good baby - such a good girl for me.” He pulled you down to him by the back of your neck and he kissed you - his tongue running along the seam of your mouth. You granted him entrance and it was consuming, your hands gripped his hair and you clenched around him. He rewarded you with a groan into your mouth. Even with the guilt you couldn’t get close enough. His praise was like a tonic - you needed it and his kisses. You whimpered into his mouth and he knew. He knew what you needed. “My best girl, my beautiful girl. Took me so well, made me cum with that pretty pussy.” He kissed your neck and rubbed your back lovingly and you felt like a cat in a bright patch of sun under his praise. Cuddly and satiated as you burrowed into the crook of his neck.

“A few more minutes and then we have to go home.” He spoke into your hair as he let you take your comfort.

----

“You okay babe?” Charlie's voice startled you when you walked into the apartment, your tote bag full of school things, untouched on your shoulder.

“Yes - why?” You answered too quickly - you expected him to see everything written on your face. You could still feel David's cock inside you, his cum currently pooled in your panties. Could feel your breasts were a little sore from his attention and that excited you more than it had any right to.

“Nothing just looks like you’ve seen a ghost - did you get a lot done? I made dinner by the way - your favourite.” He smiled from the couch, he was playing video games which was good. Would mean he wouldn’t intrude on you in the bathroom. The guilt was hot and heavy in your gut but you plastered a smile on your face.

“Yeah, lots of activities planned for the kids tomorrow. Thanks babe- i’m going to shower quickly.” You smiled and came over to kiss him on the forehead quickly. Making sure not to linger too quickly. You had no idea if you smelled like David. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything.

“Okay honey, I’ll wait for you to eat.” He went back to his game.

----

This was not good.

You were staring at yourself in the mirror naked, your breasts were full of hickeys, little bruises. Your nipples were puffy from David’s mouth and the soreness between your legs was insistent. The tell tale heart only it was under your clothes instead of your floorboards.

How the fuck am I going to hide this?

The lips of your sex were sensitive when you washed, you kept replaying the whole thing over in your mind and you still couldn’t believe you’d done this. Not only had you done it, you’d enjoyed it immensely. His words, god his words.

You knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t help but compare them, Charlie and David. Polar opposites, especially in how they made you feel.

Charlie was dependable, he was home - pure comfort and love.

David was excitement, sex and filth and he made you so wet you couldn’t stand it. When he called you his good girl something inside you luxuriated, something was fulfilled that you didn't even realize needed fulfilling. You knew though, you knew this had to be a one time thing.

It couldn’t continue - you ignored that thing inside you that slithered, whispered that you couldn’t stop now - it was too good. You were really good at ignoring things it seemed.

It could have been considered cruel that Charlie’s blind acceptance of your excuse as to why you didn’t want to have sex annoyed you. You ignored that too.

---

David smiled at the wet spot on his jeans when pulled into his driveway.

You had been so responsive, so open to his touch. So receptive of his words and his actions.

The look on your face when he had your tits in his mouth had made him so painfully hard, he was rougher than he meant to be. His original plan had been to ease you into it - soft touches and soft words until he knew you were ready but that little dress, the sheer bra. You were going to be trouble and he couldn’t wait.

It was clear that whoever the jackass was you were engaged to - he wasn’t doing you justice. He wasn’t wringing pleasure out of you like he should be. He could see how much you had enjoyed his attention - even the roughness, the bites and the marking. Thinking about those marks and hickeys on your nipples excited him even now.

He was glad he was home alone - he could put his clothes to wash.

He had so many plans.

---

You managed to put David out of your mind when you went back to work. Your kids took up so much of your energy and it was nice to feel normal, you went so far as to delete his messages on your phone. Not before you saved his name as D, but nevermind that.

After a few days with no contact, you could almost pretend that you had hallucinated the whole thing. Until you saw the -thankfully- fading hickeys on your chest. You had told Charlie that you weren't feeling your best, that you wanted to keep your shirt on during your coupling and as always he agreed happily.

Seemed he could sense your inner peace, a message had come through late in the week while you were on your lunch break.

Free up Saturday night, be ready by 8

Your heart was racing, you could feel it in your clit. You didn’t answer, you wanted to make sure you could actually get away before responding but he didn’t like that. Another text came through.

I expect an answer.

Okay.

You texted back quickly.

Okay what…?

Oh god - you knew what he wanted you to write and it felt so wrong, so dirty but it excited you so much.

Okay daddy.

You blushed and covered your face, almost embarrassed, needing to see his reply but not wanting to face it at the same time.

That’s my good girl. Saturday at 8.

His praise was everything, it made your heart sing, made you feel light and giddy. You like being his good girl don’t you? That slithering thing again - you ignored it. It shamed you that the only thing you could do for the rest of the day, was try to think of a way to get rid of Charlie for the weekend.

—-

Charlie seemed pleasantly surprised, you had -very sneakily- messaged his best friend Jack that he should plan a boys weekend. That you thought he needed to have some fun. To stop thinking about the wedding. Oh god the wedding.

Jack had told you that Charlie was lucky you were so cool and that he’d plan something.

“Are you sure babe? I don’t have to go- it’s just a weekend at Jack’s cottage but I’m sure it’ll be fine if you came or if I stayed here.” You could see he wanted you to be happy, you stomped away the guilt.

“No you go ahead, Jack will be happy to have the boys there without the girlfriends or fiancé’s.” You gave him your most convincing smile. He smiled, promising that if you needed anything he would come back at the drop of a hat.

Not likely. You stomped the slithering thing down too.

----

Charlie left on Thursday night, Jack insisted they stay there until Monday morning and you talked Charlie into going. You relished the idea of being alone, pretending at least in some fucked up part of your brain that you were single. That David was single - just two single adults without families, without any responsibilities or commitments.

When Saturday finally came you were on edge, you had started getting ready a couple of hours before in your excitement. You didn’t want to delve too deep into what that meant but nevertheless.

You focused your energy on making sure your hair looked good, moisturizing your skin - meaningless things that took up your time and helped you conveniently ignore that you were prepping for sex with a married man while your fiance was with his friends.

I’m here.

Your heart leapt, you spritzed your best perfume and made your way out. You couldn’t help but smile as you made your way down.

He was serious when you got into the car and for a moment you were afraid you’d displeased him somehow, it should have worried you how much you craved his approval - his praise.

“Hi.” You said shyly - hoping he’d notice your dress but he didn’t. He drove without a word. What had happened? You thought back to how he had comforted you - held you close and rubbed your back. You wanted that, you wanted a little tenderness before the filth came. It seemed as though he sensed your panic and he placed his hand on your thigh- it calmed you more than it should have.

“Hi baby.” he gave you a little smile and the slithering thing stretched and luxuriated. Everything was okay.

“Where are we going?” You asked him - even though you knew he probably wouldn’t tell you but he surprised you.

“To my house - I’m going to fuck you in my bed.” He spoke casually, completely unphased. His eyes focused on the road, on the streetlights and signs. He couldn’t see how your heart leapt, how the heat spread from your face to your ears, leaving splotches of pink on your chest.

“But - what about?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, your wife.

“She took the girls to their grandparents - I have the house to myself for the weekend. So i’m going to take advantage. Going to take you home - spread you out on my bed and I’m going to do all of the things I’ve been thinking about this whole week.” He spoke as he turned onto a neat little street, full of spaced out homes. Houses that screamed soccer moms and wall-street dads. White picket fences and minivans.

The house both matched him and it didn’t. It made sense that he’d be able to afford this - your thoughts went back to the designer bag Mrs. York brought to your meeting. The SUV you were sitting in had leather seats, it was probably brand new, Carol probably drove a Mercedes. They obviously had money.

You noticed that the lights outside the house were off - didn’t want his neighbours to see him bringing a woman who was definitely not his wife home on a Saturday night. He guided you to the house wordlessly and the guilt reared its ugly head at the sight of two bikes, casually tossed onto the porch. This man was married; had a family and here you were - wet and itching to get underneath him.

It was worse when you got in the house, his wife very much present in all things. Her shoes at the door, her sweater draped over a tasteful sectional. Little avatars of his children were scattered here too - dolls clothes, the evidence of a school project you had assigned. Graded work and colourful pictures drawn by little hands held up by souvenir magnets on the fridge. Visible even from outside the kitchen. Evidence of his life which shouldn’t have had any space for you.

Tell him to take you home right this minute your brain berated you. Your conscience was begging you to take back your life- this could only end badly. You thought of your upcoming wedding, of your sweet fiance who doted on you. On the boring unfulfilling sex the slithering thing added.

You thought all these things and more, but your legs carried you wherever he led. Your pussy dripped for him, your mouth stayed shut. Instead you followed him dutifully up the stairs - passed rooms with colourful block letters, rooms his daughters slept in. The cream coloured carpet under your feet was plush and it cushioned the sound of your steps - steps that took you passed a home office. You could see him there, sitting and working while his daughters played. While his wife cooked dinner.

You had no business here and yet, you kept walking.

The bedroom was tasteful, it was decorated with soft colours, taupes and beiges. The bed was neatly made - piled high with pillows and cushions. You could see them on this bed, David and Carol here, fucking in this bed. It was a curious feeling, you weren’t jealous; you had no reason to be. You had Charlie and he had Carol, was he looking for the same thing in you that you had found in him? He didn’t seem like the kind of man to settle.

You were looking around; so lost in your thoughts you barely heard him approach you and before you knew it he was wrapped around you and the thoughts melted away. His hands burned a path across your skin wherever they touched you.

“I fuck my wife in this bed. I fuck her and think of you. I think about how wet you got when I got your tits out. How wet you get when you cum.” he spoke into your ear and you had to take a deep breath, the ease with which he spoke to you like this was astounding. He walked you toward the bed until you had no choice but to sit.

“You look so pretty when you blush baby.” he ran his hand through your hair, gripping it a little tight, pulling it back so your neck was craned up to him - it pulled a gasp out of your mouth.

“I keep thinking about you like this - looking up at me.” He was taking in everything about you - his gaze travelling the length of your body. “I don’t want to have to ask you things twice tonight. I know you’re going to be a good girl. Are you excited?”

“Yes, very excited.” You answered quickly and he smiled.

“Open your mouth for me baby, show daddy how excited you are.” He started undoing his pants and you unconsciously scooted closer to him. Everything about him lit a fire within you and the thought of his cock in your mouth was making you drool.

He was already hard, you looked up at him through your lashes; tongue out and ready.

“My pretty girl - look at you, so gorgeous like this. Mouth open ready for my cock.” He held himself in one hand while the other held your chin. You licked the bead of precum from the tip and almost moaned. “Tongue out.” He thrust into your mouth slowly- letting you get accustomed to his size, pushing a little deeper each time. You made to raise your hands but he pulled away.

“No baby, not yet, let me fuck your mouth, be good for me - get your tits out for me.” You moaned as you pulled your shirt and bra down. He groaned at the faint marks on your nipples from the last time you were together and continued.

You were so wet, you could feel your panties sticking to you. You sat there as still as you could while he repeatedly slid his cock into your mouth. He would push until he hit your throat and wait until you gagged and then pull out, until you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks. You felt depraved with his precum and your spit dripping onto your chest but the sounds he was making were worth it.

“Look at you, so fucking pretty like this baby, you’re being so good, such a good girl for me. I could cum just like this.” You moaned at his words, at his praise, at the taste of him. He switched your positions so you were standing between his spread legs on the bed. He slowly took your clothes off, kissing your stomach as he went.

“Look at that- look how wet this pretty pussy is. Is all this from having my cock in your mouth baby?” He ran his fingers along your lower lips, all pretty and glossy for him. He kept his touch feather light while he waited for a response.

“Yes, yes you make me this wet, your hands, your mouth, your cock - you.” You brought your hands up to touch his hair and he let you, his hand keeping that slow rhythm - driving you mad with want. He licked at your nipples again while you stood there, steadily gripping his hair tighter and tighter. He pulled away momentarily to take the rest of his clothes off, and when he was done you walked over to him again but before you could mount him he got up and walked around to the side of the bed facing a full length mirror.

You made to straddle him but he stopped you, turning you so you faced away from him; he wanted you to see yourself.

“Look at you, look at how pretty you look. You’re going to watch as Daddy fucks you. We’re both going to watch you bounce on my cock.” He kissed your hip, and bit at your asscheek playfully. You swallowed hard, thinking back to Charlie and knew he never would have thought of this.

He pulled you down and guided himself into your soaked center- the stretch of him making you groan and flutter around him. He spread your legs with his knees, you could see where you were joined in the mirror and the vision of you like that was dizzying. You could hardly recognize yourself like this, your skin was flushed, lips parted, hair dishevelled. You could still see your spit on your chest - you gasped when he bucked up.

“Look how well you take me? Look how well you're taking my cock, does it feel good? Do you like watching?” He moved his hands from their steady grip at your hips, up to grab your tits.

“Yes - god yes Daddy, it feels so good.” You were unhinged. Feeling his cock splitting you open was one thing, seeing it disappear into your body brought the whole thing to another level.

“My best girl, this is my pussy. Mine.” His movements were getting frantic and you couldn’t help but moan, your slick soaking his lap at his words. “Say it, tell me it’s mine.” He brought one hand down to rub perfect little circles at your clit and your climax raced up to hit you. You came with a god yes and he stilled his movements. Your cunt squeezing him so tightly he could barely move. He stood up quickly and put your hands up against the mirror without pulling out.

“Hold still for me, I want you to watch yourself get fucked.” You moaned, you were so wet the sounds were obscene, a wet slap against your ass. It was so dirty, the way he grabbed at you. The way he held your shoulder so he could fuck you harder than you’d ever been fucked and it was too much. You felt on the verge of tears at the intensity but he kept going, until you felt him cum inside you. Felt him dripping out of you and onto that lush carpet.

You couldn’t remember how many times he’d made you cum. All you knew was you were tired, your body spent, your cunt was sore, your tits were sore - your muscles. Everything - but still he wanted more.

He pulled you into the shower to wash your combined pleasure off, but he coaxed more pleasure out of you with his fingers as the water soothed you slightly.

You laid in his bed, maybe even in Carol’s spot with his head between your thighs. He told you how good your pussy tasted, how he owned it; and he did.

--------------------------------------

*let me know if you don't want to be tagged in all things Pedro*

As always - thanks to you my angels for letting me send random passages and long pieces of writing for your opinions lol - I literally wouldn't post without you. @foli-vora 💖@frannyzooey 💖 @mouthymandalorian💖

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[plush-rabbit]

Obey Me! Heavy Thoughts for the Dateables

Warnings: Mentions of Death

A/N: Reasons for heaviness may vary! I was in a mood so I kinda scribbled this out in days,, uh yeah!! A little all over the place and ye!!

-

Barbatos:

His eyes and hands ache, his mouth dry no matter the amount of water he intakes. His temples thud with a dull pounding, one that echoes lightly and steadily. It’s been a rather rough day for Barbatos. Woken up late, and with an already bad feeling about the day. His eyes glow, a bright green light that fades as soon as it comes. His head is heavy and he can feel the effects of the power creep against him, but there is no time for rest, he has duties that he must attend to. He picks himself up and blinks once and then twice, as if willing the pain to go away and he is off. He is steady as he works, precise as if there is not a growing pain that makes itself known the more that he goes on and the longer that the day continues. He was allowed the day off, had concern expressed over him with a steady hand on his back slowly leading him to his bedroom but he declined. It was a simple headache, a simple bad day that must be powered through. There was no use for such worry over something so simple.

It’s a heavy day and he’s had them before but they don’t lessen with each blow- they still hit as heavy as ever. He walks quietly, his demon form exposing himself, his wing-like horns piercing into him, the bones of the appendages pulled taut. His tail swings widely, curved as it sways along, narrowly missing each statue and piece of item that decorates the hall. He cleans dutifully, each piece of furniture polished and dusted, the headache only growing more and more, pounding against his head. His hands grip a cleaning feather duster, the wood splintering in his hand, his jaw tightening and eyes narrowing. The brick wall touches against his gloved palm, the indent and grooves of it press against the fabric, marring it with imperfections, the hand that holds the duster loosens, the feathers brushing against his pant leg. His vision grows spolthy and he casts a glance towards the end of the hallway, paintings move and peer from the frame, watching as the butler walks away. His steps echo in the castle, and he knows that he’s taking time off for such a simple feeling, guilt builds in his body, his legs becoming heavy with lead, and yet, he can’t stop himself. He was given permission, was encouraged and he had looked the other way, but he needs it now.

He hides himself in a corner of the castle, door locked and lights off and he’s nervous. He isn’t allowed to use his power freely and he isn’t going to; he’s simply going to take a peek. Something has come over the butler, something so terrible and nerve wracking and he has no idea how to calm it, how to force his tail to stop swinging so rapidly- he feels irritated. A final look is given to the door- there are no shadows underneath and he takes a deep breath, the smell of parchment and cotton in the air. Time flashes before his eyes, glowing brightly, his hair slowly creeping, longer and longer as milliseconds go by. Everything passes by in a mere blink of the eye and when he returns, his hair receding back to its usual length, his eyes slowly dimming, he sits on a chair. His head is in his hands, his eyes closed and nails softened by gloves scratch into his scalp.

It’s a dip of himself, just a slight little thing that went wrong; and yet, he can’t shake off the feeling. Nearby, he can hear footsteps, they come in eager and almost unsure. Shadows form under his door and he can hear muffled voices, his name being spoken is a constant and there is worry evident in both of the voices. His brows furrow and he rises, his shoulders slacked and exhaustion heavy in his eyes. One of the shadows disappear, footsteps echoing in the distance and the handle to the room turns slowly, his name called once more in a whisper. Through the small gap from the doorway, he sees your face, hesitation graced among your features until they fall and in its place, concern takes over. You close the door quietly behind you, his name whispered under your breath as you rush towards him. You cup his face in our hands, pulling yourself close to him. You hold him as if he is porcelain and he simply bows his head, eyes closing, and his tongue is bitten between his teeth. In a sudden movement, he goes to hold you.

Your hands move from his face to wrapping your arms around him. He leans into your touch, his tail wrapping around your waist and tightening his hold on you, the bones of his horns, pressed against your plush cheek. Barbatos tells you how silly it all is, to feel this bad over a simple bad day, his voice trailing off into a hoarse whisper, and you don’t want to imagine the poor demon crying at the thought of such a heavy day. You hold him, comfort him and edge yourself closer until you reach a couch. He rests nearly above you, his leg swung over yours, and face still buried against your shoulder. Your fingers thread through his hair, curling strands of it around your index as you listen to his woes, his grip tight and voice delicate. In your arms is a demon, beautiful and powerful, but in your arms, he is exquisite and frail, never once lifting his head no matter the times his name is whispered. His hands ghost over your body, the gloves soft against your skin and slowly, he removes them, letting the warmth of his hands curve over your neck as he rests near your collarbone. He begs for you to hold him, just a little bit longer, just until he feel like he can stand and you do so, promising to sit and hold him, ending the words with a kiss against the crown of his head.

Diavolo:

The soon-to-be king is lonely. He grew up being respected but without a friend. He grew with a father who had lost someone he loved and he grew without a mother’s touch. As much as Diavolo can try, he will have limited friends. He is someone that people watch their tone with, they watch their words and avoid playful teasing. Deep in his bones, he knows that he is lonely, that the friends he does have still hold some type of fear towards him, they still respect him. It’s a long day in the castle. It’s quiet, there are minimal sounds and the portrait of his father stands behind his desk, looming over his shoulder and he can never tell if his expression is remorseful or something akin to a scolding look. The prince sits alone with a heavy heart in a room that feels far too large for him to be in.

As a young boy, he has learned to hold himself high. He has grown up knowing that he will be a king. He wants to do great things. He wants to bring people together for reasons that he doesn’t quite want to admit but also because he is so desperate for attention, for any sign of love and acceptance. He is a caged bird, trapped between bars, watching as others gaze upon him, watching relationships form in front of him without reaching towards him. It isn’t healthy for him to let these thoughts dwell but in an empty room, he can’t find the will to push them away. His face is buried in his hands, eyes closed until colors and inorganic shapes dance behind his closed eyes and he sits still for a long time, the unblinking eyes of his father boring into him. Golden eyes brimmed with hope are dimmed, staring at the papers on the desk. He’s already done, finished long ago and yet, he can’t force himself to rise and leave the room that is slowly constricting around him.

There’s a bitter taste in his mouth, something that makes him sick to his stomach when his D.D.D. remains unbothered, the screen faced down, not a single sound erupting from it. He learned long ago to never expect much from it. But now you’re here. You are a human, that is it. You hold no true power other than the pacts that you have made and yet you make him wait with bated breath for every message of yours. It’s unhealthy to put so much of his happiness in your hands but he can’t help it. You are the first to not fear him for his title. You are the first to hold his hand and lean against him. You are the first that he has ever had the pleasure to grow so close to and yet you are human. You are compassionate and you do not fear him in any type of way, you include him and laugh with him. You both share inside jokes and he isn’t alone with you. He stands from the desk, his bones aching and he sets out.

He goes to visit you, a bag of sweets in his hand- a cheap excuse to come and visit you even though you have told him that he can visit whenever he wants to. His smile is bright, stretched wide as he holds the bag in front of him, already making himself comfortable on your bed. He can breathe a little bit lighter, his smile now more tired than forced, and his heart still heavy. The weight on his shoulders has shifted into something more troublesome. When your hands cup his face, his smile wavers and he leans into your touch. He confesses to you that he has been lonely and it isn’t like his other confessions- this one isn’t made in a passing comment, this one is said out loud in a somber tone, his hand encasing yours, his eyes brimming with tears and voice in a hoarse whisper and he can’t find the words to describe just how lonely it is for him- how lonely it was before you came into his life.

Diavolo is large beside you on the bed and he is somber, looking much older than he usually does and you wonder for a brief moment just how lonely he was, how it must have felt for him to realize that he won’t have a true connection. You move to sit beside him, cradling his body and pushing him towards you, his head on your chest and hands held together. You rub your thumb over his knuckles, the scars soft under your touch, and when you kiss the top of his head, he holds your hand tighter. He can be a king, he can be a prince or a lord, but he is still someone who craves a relationship, to be included and to have a friend. He rests on your bed, his body warmed by yours and his hand held. He is soothed by your heartbeat, your ever loving touch and his thoughts are silenced when you begin to whisper to him promises that you’ll be beside him while legs entangle themselves with yours. Resting on you, he is comforted, held and told sweet things, and soon with a heavy heart, he moves to hold you above him. You lean down and peck against his lips, his smile tired and eyes still holding wisdom and knowledge that you’ll never know of and he keeps you by him throughout the night, memorizing each and every scar that your body offers, his lips hot against your body.

Simeon:

As an angel, Simeon has to avoid temptations wherever they fall. He’s seen what it can cause- the destruction and death that it could lead to and he has no time for that, not when Luke is under his care. You, however, do not make it easy to sway from such temptation. He doesn’t know what will happen in the coming future and the thought terrifies him. He knows that human life spans are so short, so insufferably short and unexpected, and even if you do live for long, he’ll see you die and the odds of you becoming an angel are something that he has no clue in. You come to him so eager and full of life, so ready to hold him in your arms and he won’t ever be ready for the day that you lay in a bed, too weak to move your arms and hold him again. While he won’t ever do the unspeakable- at least that’s what he tells himself- you unknowingly add to his pressures.

For now, he doesn’t think about that. He thinks about you now. He thinks about your smile and your usage of kaomojis. You still have life and that’s all that matters to him. He thinks about the fun memories that he can make in the meantime with you. His D.D.D. will buzz with new messages, new reports and various other things that come in and he’ll have to face it eventually but it’s all too much. It’s too much, too soon. He has to speak to you one day of his duties, confess upon his knees and tell you that he does it because- well, because he has to. He is an angel, who is he to disobey, to find his voice when it’s suddenly convenient for him. His wings weigh him down, heavy and lined with gold, shimmering under the light of God, and he is supposed to be holy and yet, he cannot touch you without his gloves. He’s afraid he’ll stain you and your being. He’ll taint everything precious about you with just a simple touch.

However, he still seeks you out. Late at night, he’ll search for you, a ripple of itchiness that shoots across his back, tingles that ache as his wings beg to be released. He finds you and curls up to you, so tense and terrified and you’re there to comfort him. He rests beside you, hand in hand, wickedness and love combined, something so sweet that it makes his eyes water and mouth thick with honey. His hands are gloved, not daring to touch anything that he shouldn’t unless it burns his skin. He stares at your wall, littered with pictures of you and the family that you’ve made along the way, you're smiling with a smile that stretches so wide he’s blinded by it. You’ve allowed him in your room, in your sanctuary because he came to you. He’s beside you, a small, golden cross rubbed between his forefinger and thumb, and he can feel his heart race.

Sweat beads against his forehead, his back aching as his mouth dries. The flesh of the son is heavy on his tongue, the blood thick and bitter as it soaks anything sweet in him. His hand tightens and he can feel his hand tightens round yours. He has to be careful- he can’t hurt you. He won’t forgive himself if he ever did. His tongue is between his teeth and in a picture of yours, your tongue is stuck out, hugged between your lips and his vision becomes blurry, fire in his eyes as he stares. He must show the emotion- whatever it is- on his face, read like an open book. You call his name, your hand above his, and he doesn’t register it, he can’t. You call him again, tugging on his hand and pulling away the golden cross. His eyes are wide and you can see the angel in his eyes, the years and the time, the war and the love that he has seen. The cross marks itself in the palm of your hand, and he snaps at you. It’s nothing cruel, but his words are sharp and loud.

You flinch at his words but you offer a tender smile. Your hand opens and the cross itself is tight in your hand. He hadn’t meant to snap. Tears fill his eyes and scorch his cheeks and he’s on his knees, the floor under him cold and solid. Apologies fill the room and he can feel your eyes on him. It’s a heavy day where he cannot feel anything but the weight of everything on his shoulders. You embrace him in your arms, pulling him close to your chest. Unlike the floor, you are soft and warm, holding him as he buries himself in the crook of your neck, feeling your heartbeat like a lullaby to him. Your lips press against his forehead, lips pressed to his skin and hair and he leans to you. His hands tighten around you, pulling himself closer to you; forgiveness has never felt so delicate and repent has never felt so fragile. He cries silently, holding you close to him, letting his tears trace against your skin. Your hands curve against his back, fingertips fluttering between his shoulder blades and pressing lightly between. He wonders briefly if you know where his wings rest, where the hurting hurts the most. You touch lightly around, barely ghosting against the muscles, and he holds himself closer to you. His eyes are fresh with tears, the heaviness in his body slowly lifting as he leans into you, and he breathes in deeply, filling his lungs with you. The Celestial Realm is far above, shining in golden light and the sweet air of holiness. Your room is casted in the soft, orange glow of the lamp, the room smelling of apples and jasmine, and here, the tired angel feels safe to lay his weight against you and close his eyes.

Solomon:

Despite being an accomplished sorcerer, Solomon isn’t immune to emotions; he is still human despite being immortal. He is older than you can comprehend, dates and times have been long forgotten by him and the people that he held so close no longer have faces. He is human and he misses the people that he has grown close to. He is immortal, a life that is coveted and always seeking to figure out it’s secrets and yet to him, the life is nothing but cursed. It’s the same routine with each lifetime; it’s people that he grows close to, people whose hands he holds and people who hug him so tight that he can feel their breath on his neck, people with hands that soon grow limp in his.

He does his best to never let his emotions show; he rather not deal with the endless questions of his well being because while he’s fine, he really isn’t. He bottles his emotions and hides them far away and it stays like that. For a while, he can be young, laughing and making references to the world that he lives in now. Other times, he lays in bed, the sun that has been rising is a friend and an enemy to him, the people who age before his eyes are something that he envies. Around you, it’s much different. He knows you’ll die sooner than he would like and he’ll be left alone. You made your way into his heart. You hold a special place within him and he worries for the day when he’ll forget your face and the way your hands feel against his neck, and the taste of your lips that are so sweet and soft.

Glyphs and notes are strewn across his room, the sorcerer at work as he tries to figure something out- something to just keep you safe as much as he can, to ensure that you won’t meet an early fate. It’s desperate and selfish of him but he knows he won’t be able to stand the silence once you’re gone. He’s unlike himself, silent and eyes too focused to see what is going on around him. You have no idea what he’s doing, just happy to be beside him, to see him at work. You stare at him for far too long, your own notes of spells and potions resting beside you, now forgotten as you choose to focus on your partner. He stands still, eyes fluttering about, and then he moves rapidly. He seeks and searches, erases and scribbles notes crudely in a journal. He is a work of art- beautiful to look at, imperfections and lines adorning his skin and you worry for the day that he’ll collapse.

His eyes will meet yours, a tired smile on his lips and he holds a hand up- five more minutes. A promise that has long turned repetitive but you know how important his work is, how he strives for perfection in his spells. He talks aloud to himself, the spell book in hand- the corners of the pages frayed and various notes and inches of extra paper peeking past the pages. The book fits perfectly in his hand, his face flushed and eyes tired as they stare at a potted plant, the leaves brown and nipped. He mutters under his breath, his eyes glowing for a brief second, his hair lifting as if static were the cause, and you can feel the magic in the air. You glance at the plant, the leaves curling in on themselves before falling off, replacing themselves with new leaves. You stand straighter, excited, assuming that’s what he wanted and when you look at him, he lets out an exasperated chuckle. His chuckle turns to laughter and his laughter turns into frustration, a string of curses chased in different languages echoes in the room. You call his name and he turns to you, cheeks nipped with red and eyes fresh with tears.

Your name is whispered under his breath and you frown, rushing over to him where he holds you tight, his face hidden in the soft curve of your neck. Solomon does not let go of you, he keeps you close, crying into your neck, his hands tightening and he doesn’t speak. Tears burn hot against your skin, his lips moving, words silent and when you hum his name, he only shakes his head, his lips going still. Soon, you both sit on the bed, his body leaning against you for support. He holds your hand, his fingers playing with each of yours, fingertips pressed against his lips in gentle kisses. Solomon confesses to you that he worries for the day that you’ll pass, his eyes closing when he feels your body tense beside him. He doesn’t think he could handle it if you were to leave him. He craves your touch and he hates to admit it, but without you, he is lost. You hold him in your arms, moving until you rest against the headboard, while his head rests on your chest. You hold his hand and tell him that no matter the time that has passed, you’ll still be with him. You hold him in your arms, his tears wetting your shirt as his whimpers are muffled by you, and he knows he’ll miss you but for now, he’ll be comforted by your hugs and the press of your lips on the top of his head. He’ll wish and pray that this isn’t some dream and that when he awakens, you’ll still be there.