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stolasbuckzo · 1 month ago

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Subjective topics:

‘Once a cheater always a cheater’

Yes, in other circumstances where both parties are emotionally invested, I believe infidelity is considered cheating. I'm not justifying Stolas's actions, but legally, I feel that if he is unhappy, not emotionally engaged, and in an abusive relationship, he has the right to make those choices because he isn't emotionally committed to Stella.

The phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater" implies a repeated pattern, but I don't think that applies to Stolas. From what I understand, he had an affair with one person—multiple times with Blitz —because of his specific situation with Stella. Their relationship, in my view, was based purely on duty and the need to ensure there was an heir for the Goetia (royal) family

Stolas openly acknowledges his ‘infidelity’ to Stella at the end of “The Circus,” and I feel like this scene is often overlooked by so many people. In my opinion, this moment is important because it shows his awareness of his actions and their consequences.

"I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life. ...I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now."

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Stolas, who is currently somewhat committed to Blitz—but likely won’t become official until at least sometime in Season 3—I don’t believe would cheat on him. I think Stolas has loved Blitz for a very long time, since he was a child, and I feel he wouldn’t risk damaging their relationship after everything they’ve been through: months of pining, strained tension, and emotional hurt on both sides. What strengthens this belief for me is the moment in "Sinmas" where, while off his meds and clearly an emotional wreck, Stolas felt guilty about a client whose relationship mirrored his own with Stella. The client's request for I.M.P to kill her husband for cheating clearly struck a nerve, and I think it shows how deeply Stolas values the concept of loyalty when he truly cares for someone

I’ve seen people suggest that Stolas might end up with the “Better Than Blitzo” succubus—who, by the way, he just made out with, but that doesn’t mean he has feelings for him—or even Vassago, but I honestly don’t see that happening either. To me, Stolas’s arc is clearly building toward an official relationship with Blitz, who has been his childhood crush. Changing that pairing now would feel rushed and, in my opinion, like poor writing, unless it occurred during another “break-up” period, which I think is unlikely. (Honestly, I see Vassago as more of Stolas’s gay best friend than a romantic option.)

If Stolas and Blitz were to mutually agree to an open relationship—potentially including someone like Vassago—that would be a completely different situation. However, I personally see Stolas as someone who gives off very monogamous energy. (Of course, I could be wrong, and Viv might eventually confirm otherwise, but for now, I interpret Stolas as someone who deeply values a one-on-one connection.)

The transactional relationship:

I used to believe that Stolas was deliberately withholding Blitz’s business by keeping the grimoire over his head, and honestly, I think a lot of people saw it that way too—especially during season one when we had little context about his character or intentions. At the time, I agreed with that perspective because it seemed logical without knowing much else. However, as the show has progressed over nearly three seasons, I’ve come to realize that it’s more complex than that. I don’t think Stolas was intentionally using the grimoire to control Blitz’s business; instead, I see it as him being desperate for an emotional connection with someone outside of his toxic marriage. He wanted something deeper from Blitz, something Blitz couldn’t emotionally provide at that time, though Blitz was willing to engage with him sexually.

I also feel sad when people reduce their relationship to things like “Stockholm syndrome” or “prostitution in a sexual form.” In my view, that’s not an accurate way to interpret their dynamic. For me, it’s now clear that Stolas was seeking emotional fulfillment, while Blitz was more focused on his career and had no interest in emotional vulnerability back then. Their motivations were entirely different, but neither one was exploiting the other in the way those terms imply.

As for the idea that either Blitz or Stolas SA’d the other, I don’t see how that holds up. Yes, Blitz used his charm and flirtation as a tactic to steal the grimoire, but here’s the thing: Stolas didn’t reject him. He was clearly flustered and awkward, but his attraction to Blitz was obvious, and he consented to their interaction. He could have said no at any point, but he didn’t—because he wanted it, too.

I also don’t believe either of them could have forced the other into something they didn’t want. Both of them are fighters in their own way. Blitz is physically capable, with his assassin training, and Stolas is a Goetia with powerful magic—not to mention his ability to throw a punch when necessary. If either one of them felt genuinely threatened, I doubt they would have gone through with it.

To me, everything about their arrangement appears entirely consensual. I see how both had something to gain from it—Blitz gained access to the grimoire for his business, while Stolas received the sexual intimacy he desired. Their relationship has always felt layered and complicated, but I’m confident it wasn’t coercive or predatory in nature.

Bonus:

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“Bad dad” Stolas:

I believe Stolas did struggle as a parent back in Season 1, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the context of his situation. In many ways, he was essentially a “single parent” during his marriage to Stella, who showed little to no interest in actively raising Octavia. To me, this is highlighted by young Octavia only drawing pictures of herself and Stolas—a small but telling detail that reflects the negative and distant relationship she had with her mother. I feel this dynamic explains a lot about Octavia’s preference for her father’s presence and support, as well as the much closer bond they shared.

In my view, Stolas has come a long way since then—nearly three seasons ago. By the time Season 3 arrives, I think it will be evident just how much he’s grown, both as a person and as a father. While I recognize that he still makes mistakes with Octavia, I believe his determination to be a better parent is undeniable. For instance, in Seeing Stars, I was struck by how he practically broke down the door at I.M.P after learning Octavia was missing. Even with the tension between him and Blitz after Ozzie’s, his focus wasn’t on their strained relationship or the grimoire being lost—it was entirely on Octavia. To me, that moment showed how deeply Stolas cares about his daughter’s safety, even in the midst of personal turmoil.

I feel Stolas’s primary focus in that episode was entirely on finding Octavia, not on romanticizing his relationship with Blitz. The only moment that deviated from this was a brief instance of vulnerability due to his stage fright, where Blitz stepped in to help. To me, this wasn’t a calculated move to create romantic tension; it felt like a genuine moment of support. Blitz, on the other hand, seemed captivated by Stolas’s human form, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “simping.” For me, this dynamic reflects how much their interactions have shifted since Season 1, where Stolas often made overt advances toward Blitz, who seemed uninterested and more focused on his business. I think this evolution in their relationship is subtle but worth acknowledging.

Mastermind further reinforced, in my opinion, just how much Stolas cares about Octavia. The very first thing he says is, “What about my daughter?” To me, that response speaks volumes. For someone so often criticized as a “bad dad” or accused of not caring about Octavia, his immediate concern for her in a moment of crisis makes his priorities clear. I also think Stolas understands how far Stella will go to turn Octavia against him. In Seeing Stars, Stella outright says, “You’re turning her against me,” which, to me, highlights her bitterness and manipulative tendencies. I believe Stella has already proven she’s willing to emotionally harm and isolate her daughter to serve her selfish agenda, which makes Stolas’s efforts to connect with Octavia even more admirable.

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At the end of the day, I see Stolas as a flawed but evolving character. He makes mistakes, but I believe he’s actively working to be better—not just for himself, but for Octavia as well. To me, his growth shows that effort and intention matter, even if change takes time. I appreciate how the show offers a nuanced look at the complexities of his relationships, reminding me that nobody is perfect, but the willingness to grow and try again is what counts most.

“Stolas always 'choosing' Blitz over Octavia” Debate:

Blitz:

In the episode “Loo Loo Land” Stolas proposed a daddy-daughter outing, not realizing that Octavia had outgrown of the theme park. He also invited Blitz along, likely wanting two of his favorite people to be in the same space. I believe Stolas may have subconsciously hoped they might bond, even though it wasn’t the most appropriate setting for them to interact. Blitz, while maintaining his usual sarcastic and brash demeanor, did take his role as Stolas’s bodyguard seriously, stepping up to protect them when chaos erupted.

When Octavia ran off, Stolas immediately followed to ensure she was okay, prioritising her feelings and demonstrating how deeply he cares for her. I don’t interpret this as Stolas “choosing” Blitz over his daughter. While he may have initially seemed to prioritize Blitz’s company—seeking the emotional connection he was clearly missing—his actions ultimately reinforced his unwavering dedication to Octavia. For me, this episode highlights Stolas’s love for his daughter, even amid the distraction of Blitz’s presence.

Stolas’s decision in “Mastermind” to intervene and take Blitz’s place felt like a defining moment for his character. I believe he could have stayed silent and allowed Blitz’s sentence to unfold, but to me, that would have been morally indefensible. Blitz didn’t deserve such a cruel fate, no matter how strained their relationship had been since Ozzie’s. In my view, allowing Blitz to suffer would have gone completely against the principles Stolas embodies—love, loyalty, and a willingness to protect those he cares about.

I feel like Blitz’s reaction to Stolas’s sacrifice speaks volumes. Blitz would have literally died if Stolas hadn’t stepped in, and when Blitz broke down crying, I saw so much more than guilt or sorrow. To me, it was raw, unfiltered emotion—a gut-wrenching realization of just how close he came to losing everything. I think dismissing that scene as anything less than pivotal would undermine the depth of Blitz’s emotions and the gravity of the situation they both faced.

In my opinion, Mastermind cut through all of Blitz’s snark, emotional walls, and self-destructive tendencies, exposing his true feelings. The moment was raw and terrifying, a rare glimpse into how much Stolas truly means to him—even if Blitz struggles to express it. I believe Blitz wasn’t just mourning what could’ve happened; he was shaken to his very core by how close he came to losing someone who genuinely loves him. To me, Stolas didn’t just save Blitz’s life physically—he made a profound statement that Blitz was worth saving. For someone like Blitz, who has battled self-worth issues for years, that act carried an extraordinary emotional weight.

What stood out to me wasn’t just the act itself, but the instinct behind it. Stolas’s willingness to endure that torment—to take Blitz’s place without hesitation—wasn’t a calculated romantic gesture. It felt pure and instinctual, driven by the simple fact that Blitz’s safety mattered more to him in that moment than his own. To me, this selfless act shattered Blitz’s defences in a way nothing else could. It forced him to confront the reality that someone valued him unconditionally, enough to sacrifice without expecting anything in return. I feel that kind of love and selflessness directly challenges Blitz’s belief that he’s undeserving of love, making this moment one of the most emotionally profound in their entire relationship.

In “Sinmas,” I can understand how it might seem like Stolas ‘chose’ Blitz, especially when viewed out of context. I can see how some might jump to the conclusion that Stolas ‘fell out of love’ with Blitz simply because he didn’t hug him back. However, I don’t believe that’s the case. When Stolas told Blitz, “Go enjoy yourself, Blitz. You don’t have to stay here with me,” I feel he was actually giving Blitz an out, not rejecting him outright. If Stolas truly didn’t have feelings for Blitz, he wouldn’t have:

1. Stolas accepted the dance with Blitz

2. Reciprocated Blitz’s mild flirting about their height difference.

3. Laughed —which is a positive sign— so warmly, with an undertone of love and affection.

4. The lyrics of the song highlight their relationship as they danced

You pack a bag, you say goodbye

You kiss me on the cheek and look me in the eye

You tell a lie that you will soon return to me

I loved you then, I love you still

And now, it won’t be long until you’re here at last

And then I ask if your heart still burns for me.

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To me, these moments show that Stolas does still love Blitz. He wasn’t rejecting him but was instead emotionally exhausted after everything he’d been through—particularly the estrangement from Octavia and the strain in their father-daughter relationship. That emotional weight affected how he expressed his feelings in the moment.

The second thing I notice is that people often assume this moment signals a “role reversal” for Season 3 because Stolas keeps pulling away from Blitz whenever one of them reaches out. However, I see it differently. I think his behavior stems from the alienation he feels from his daughter and the unresolved tension between him and Blitz. Just because they kissed and are somewhat together doesn’t mean everything that happened from Ozzie’s onward has been forgotten. As someone who has experienced heartbreak—especially when someone has broken my heart multiple times—I understand how natural it is to pull away. There’s always that lingering uncertainty, that fear of being hurt again if I let myself move forward, and I see that reflected in Stolas’s hesitation.

(Pretty sure it’s not — because imps are actually fire resistant but it could have been automatic reaction so Blitz wasn’t burned by the embers of the cigarette which is a very stark contrast parallel to “Moon Harvest Festival” episode— or Stolas pulled away because he didn’t feel like sharing his cigarette 😂)

Octavia:

I completely understand why someone might empathise with Octavia’s feelings of “abandonment” and frustration, but I think it’s also important to consider Stolas’s perspective. When Octavia confronts him about “choosing” Blitz over her, I see the emotional weight of her words as reflective of her experience, even though I don’t think it fully captures the reality of the situation.

In my opinion, Stolas’s involvement with Blitz is often misinterpreted as selfishness. I see it as a response to deeper personal struggles, which I feel people sometimes confuse with “abandonment” or a “lack of care for Octavia”. From my perspective, Stolas trapped in a loveless marriage and burdened by duty, finds in Blitz his first genuine connection and sense of freedom in years. To me, this doesn’t erase Stolas’s mistakes as a father, but it does provide context. His actions aren’t about not loving Octavia—they’re about seeking emotional fulfilment (which was also one sided at that point) in a life where he’s felt stifled for so long.

The tragedy, as I see it, is that Stolas’s search for connection unintentionally creates distance between him and his daughter, even though she’s always a priority in his heart. For me, this complexity adds depth to their relationship, showing that love and struggle can coexist in ways that are difficult to navigate.

In my view, Stolas’s growth is undeniable. As Season 2 progresses, I’ve noticed how his priorities are shifting, and his love for Octavia shines through in his actions. To me, this isn’t a narrative about “abandonment”—it’s about him learning to balance his own happiness with being a present father.

I’ll admit that Season 1 Stolas was caught up in his personal struggles, but I don’t think the claim that “he never prioritized Octavia” holds up anymore. From my perspective, Season 2 Stolas is making an effort, and I believe that matters much more than anything else.

What stands out most to me is that Stolas directly acknowledges his mistakes. He doesn’t dismiss Octavia’s feelings or try to invalidate them—he listens, apologizes, and actively works to reconnect with her. To me, his self-awareness and genuine efforts to grow give him real depth as a character. I don’t see him as selfish or neglectful—not in an irredeemable way, at least. (Unlike Stella, who, in my opinion, represents a whole different level of bad parenting.)

I think it’s important to recognize that Stolas’s love isn’t limited to Octavia. His actions and body language clearly show that his love for Blitz (romantically) and Octavia (familially) manifests in different ways, but both are equally deep and sincere. To me, this duality speaks volumes about the complexity of his character and the depth of his emotions.

I also feel that Stolas’s familial love could naturally extend to others, like Loona, even though their relationship hasn’t fully developed yet. In my opinion, while they’ve only interacted briefly as coworkers for a single day, there’s potential for him to form meaningful bonds possibly explored in season 3.

On another note: I don’t believe there are any “sides” here from a viewer’s perspective. In my way of thinking, the only one who perceives “sides” is Octavia, and I feel that’s because she’s the one directly affected by the miscommunication between her and her dad. Her pain, as I see it, understandably skews her perception of the situation. While Stolas did explicitly say, “it was all my choice” in reference to the events leading up to his banishment and estrangement from his daughter, I don’t believe this means he is actively “choosing” one over the other. To me, this dynamic is deeply complicated and serves to highlight the depth and intricacy of all the relationships involved.

“I love you, Via. So, so much. Please, sweetie, let me explain.”

I believe Stolas’s feelings for Blitz doesn’t diminish his love for Octavia. In my view, the idea that he’s “choosing” one over the other overlooks the core of who he is. I feel Octavia’s pain is absolutely valid, but I think it stems more from miscommunication and — unintentional— emotional distance than from any genuine abandonment on Stolas’s part.

(That being said, I can’t ignore how things escalated when Octavia disowned him completely. To me, this underscores just how deeply their miscommunication has impacted their relationship, with hurt feelings compounding on both sides)

“No! No, never Via! *grabs Octavia's hands* Sweetie, please. You have always been the ONLY good thing in my life!”

I feel that despite Stolas’s efforts to explain and reconnect, Octavia’s pain drives her to push him away, refusing to hear his side. From my perspective, it’s a heartbreaking moment that reveals just how deeply she’s been hurt. I believe Stolas’s love for her never wavers, but I also think that love alone isn’t always enough to instantly mend such profound fractures in their relationship.

“Via, no! I didn't I just- I had to. You don't understand.”

I think Octavia’s perception of the situation is a crucial part of the story. I notice that much of the narrative is shown through her perspective—how she feels about her father’s actions and the relationships around her. From what I see, all she seems to know is that her father cheated on her mother. She doesn’t understand the “why” behind his actions, or if she does, it feels like she has only a limited understanding of it. I get the impression that she’s unaware of the extent of her parents’ toxic relationship or the events that led up to his affair.

What Octavia does see, loud and clear, is Stolas’s feelings for Blitz. To her, it seems like he’s constantly “choosing” Blitz over her, and I think this is heartbreakingly evident in her emotional outbursts—“Are you going to run away with him?” and “You never loved Mama, you never loved me, you love him!” To me, these words reflect a raw, painful place for her to be, and I feel her emotions in these moments are entirely valid. The weight of her pain is something I don’t think anyone should dismiss or minimize.

From my perspective as part of the audience, though, I see the full picture. Stolas’s choices—while imperfect—aren’t as simple as “abandoning Octavia for Blitz”. The tragedy, as I see it, lies in the disconnect between what Stolas knows and what Octavia believes. Even after the events of “Sinmas,” Octavia still views her father’s actions as him ‘leaving her for Blitz’, despite the reality that Stolas was exiled and had no choice but to live with him. I feel this misunderstanding continues to shape how she sees both her father and his relationship with Blitz. To me, this heartbreaking disconnect only deepens the complexity of their dynamic, making it all the more layered and compelling.

Stella "is" a good person:

I think it’s important to consider Stella’s role in all of this. From my perspective, it’s entirely plausible that she has been feeding Octavia lies about Stolas, twisting events to frame him as the villain. This belief is reinforced by the moment when Octavia says to Stolas, “Was I some sort of obligation?” after discovering his pills. While I understand that she has two well-spoken and formal parents, that particular phrasing feels unusually formal for a 17-year-old who is supposed to ‘live a normal life’. She could have just said something like, “Was I some kind of chore?” which would feel more natural and age-appropriate.

The use of the word “obligation” feels especially suspect—it’s a term that seems more aligned with Stella’s manipulative rhetoric. Considering what we’ve seen of Stella’s behavior, this kind of psychological manipulation fits her character perfectly and mirrors patterns commonly observed in other abusers. I can’t help but feel she’s intentionally weaponizing Octavia as a pawn in her vendetta against Stolas. By driving a wedge between father and daughter, she gains a powerful advantage, particularly as their estranged relationship could serve her interests in the long run.

Stella’s behavior toward Octavia unsettles me even more when I consider how it escalates during Mastermind. When Octavia believes her father is dead—or at least permanently gone—I can see how Stella uses that as an opportunity to deepen her control over her daughter. Without Stolas in the palace, I feel like Stella has fewer barriers to exploit Octavia emotionally and manipulate her further. While I noticed this subtly in “Mastermind”, it feels far more overt by the time “Sinmas” unfolds. When Stella sneers, ‘He thinks he’s going to talk to HIS daughter,’ it strikes me as a deeply revealing moment. I interpret her words as an indication that Stella doesn’t even view Octavia as her child but rather as some kind of obligation or tool to wield against Stolas. That mindset, to me, underscores just how much her abuse shapes the dynamic between father and daughter.

When I reflect on the dynamic between Stella and Octavia, I see how it remained ambiguous early on, but Season 2 has made it clear their relationship is not only strained but also quietly abusive. I believe Stella would never want Stolas to realise the extent of her mistreatment of Octavia, knowing he would immediately take his daughter’s side. To me, that knowledge likely drives Stella’s manipulative tactics even further.

From my perspective, Stella has consistently demonstrated that she prioritizes herself above all else, showing little to no regard for her daughter’s well-being. I noticed this early on in “Seeing Stars”, when Young Octavia called out for her mother and was met with child neglect straight up. I can’t help but feel that Stella’s hatred for Stolas has deeply influenced Octavia’s perception of him. It seems to me that by blaming Stolas for the family’s problems, Stella is not only deflecting responsibility but also reshaping the narrative to fit her own self-serving agenda.

I think it’s important to call this what it is—emotional manipulation, not to mention neglect, which I view as a form of abuse. While I notice some parallels between Stella and Stolas’s flaws, I believe she lacks any of his redeeming qualities. In my opinion, Stella’s mistreatment of Octavia feels deliberate, rooted in her bitterness toward Stolas. Since Octavia takes after her father in both appearance and personality, I imagine that resemblance serves as a painful reminder of Stolas’s presence, fueling Stella’s resentment and influencing how she interacts with her daughter.

Thinking about all of this, I find myself reflecting on an observation someone made about the stark differences in the way Octavia hugs her parents:

1. Notice the way Octavia hugged her Dad in “Seeing Stars” versus her mother?

Octavia’s arms go around Stolas WITHOUT hesitation!

Girl did NOT want to be hugged by her mother— Octavia even backs away from Stella and her arms are stiff by her sides compared to the first picture above.

I see Octavia’s relationships with her parents as deeply reflective of how she perceives trust and safety. When I think about the moment Octavia hugs Stella, I notice a sense of wariness—maybe even fear. I can’t blame her for that. After all, she’s witnessed domestic abuse firsthand, watching Stella throw things at Stolas. Even if she wasn’t directly involved, I imagine that would leave lasting scars.

This realization made me rethink Stella’s behavior. To me, her manipulation isn’t subtle—it’s emotional abuse disguised as affection. That makes me see how fragile and unhealthy Octavia’s trust in her mother really is. From my perspective, Octavia doesn’t turn to Stella for love or comfort but because fear and manipulation have warped her idea of security.

I feel like Octavia’s continued pursuit of Stella’s approval, despite recognizing her toxicity on some level, speaks volumes about the family dynamics at play. To me, it’s not about Octavia choosing Stella over Stolas—it’s about how manipulation can distort someone’s sense of safety, even when the truth is painfully clear.

When I think about Octavia’s relationship with Stolas, I feel there’s a stark contrast to how she interacts with Stella. Their bond, as I see it, was built on trust and love. I never got the sense that Octavia feared Stolas the way she seems to fear Stella. To me, her frustration with Stolas feels rooted in hurt rather than fear—hurt stemming from the fear of being abandoned, not of being harmed, not that he would either. I believe her anger and disappointment are born out of unmet expectations and emotional distance rather than anything abusive. That’s why their falling out feels so heartbreaking to me.

In “Sinmas” I can’t help but think about how Octavia went out of her way to protect her dad, despite moments of pain and miscommunication. That’s why I believe if Stella had ever turned on Octavia in the past, Stolas would have directed all of his attention on defending her, just as Octavia instinctively protected him from her uncle when he tried to hurt Stolas. To me, this shows the depth of their bond, even in its most fractured state.

I believe their relationship wasn’t broken by cruelty or violence but strained by miscommunication and a growing emotional gap. To me, this distinction is vital. It shows how much Octavia’s pain revolves around the love she still has for Stolas, even as she feels let down by him.

In the end, while I recognize Stolas’s actions weren’t perfect, I see Stella’s calculated cruelty as playing a far greater role in fracturing their family. Her manipulation left deep emotional scars, and her ongoing efforts to harm and control others stand in stark contrast to Stolas’s flawed but sincere attempts to connect with his daughter. For me, that contrast underscores how different their intentions truly are.

Acceptance vs “Giving Up”:

I see a significant difference between accepting someone and giving up on them, and I want to make that clear. I don’t believe Stolas is giving up on Octavia—If she ever decided to hear his side of the story, I imagine he wouldn’t hesitate to tell it. I think he’d welcome her back into his life with open arms, without question, if she asked for forgiveness. But I also understand that there’s only so much he can do. From my perspective, Stolas is respecting her decision, even if it’s painful for him because that’s what a good parent does— if he continues to force himself to explain the reasons why, the more Octavia is going to pull away further and further away from him until she wants nothing to do with him indefinitely , not just until his sentence is up and I believe he understands that

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I also recognise that Stolas has already done everything he can to reach out to Octavia. I see how he’s gone through the stages of grief—bargaining included—when he begged her to hear him out, to let him explain, and she refused. I feel like his current acceptance of the situation doesn’t mean he’s “abandoning her”. Instead, I think it shows that he’s choosing to heal and adapt to the new reality forced upon him.

When I look at how he’s moving forward, I don’t see it as Stolas “choosing” Blitz over his daughter. I believe it’s about him choosing to live, to focus on the relationships and goals still within his reach. I think he’s trying to find meaning and strength after such a significant loss, which would potentially include exploring his romantic connection with Blitz. In my view, this isn’t about “replacing Octavia” but about survival.

I also notice that, whether or not Octavia is in Stolas’s life, she’ll likely continue to struggle with the idea of Blitz being part of it. From what I’ve seen, Blitz already values Octavia, even with their limited interactions. I believe he sees her as family in his own way. I think it will take time for that dynamic to evolve, but I can see how much Blitz would care for her as a potential stepdaughter if given the chance.

Millie being pregnant debate:

From what I understand, Millie’s uncertainty about whether she should keep the baby is a complex situation, and I’ve noticed that many people immediately jump to the conclusion that the baby might not be Moxxie’s, accusing her of “cheating” on her husband. Personally, I don’t think that’s the case. I believe there are other possibilities worth considering:

1. I noticed that Millie’s insistence on carrying out the hit, even pressuring Blitz to go through with it, suggests to me that she’s in desperate need of the extra money. What stood out to me was how she challenged his authority when he called off the hit—despite his personal reasons—and how he actually used his “boss” voice with her, which I’ve never seen him do before. Their relationship has always felt more buddy-buddy, so his firm stance with her really caught my attention.

I also believe Blitz’s resoluteness in that moment reflects something deeper. While he—presumably— comes from Greed (based on what we’ve seen from his childhood), I don’t think he wants to embody that particular sin. Instead, I feel he chose to focus on Pride, Lust, or even Envy as defining sins, rather than allowing Greed to guide his actions.

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I believe some people will likely question Millie and Blitz’s relationship because of this situation, and while I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, I’m sure others might wonder if this means they’re no longer friends or if their dynamic will change in season 3

But when I really think about it, their closeness doesn’t change the fact that Millie overstepped a mark from an employee perspective. Blitz is the one who ultimately calls the shots, and if he decides to call off the hit, that decision is final. It’s his authority that matters in this context regardless of their personal relationship.

2. If she’s considering keeping the baby, I think she’d need to be “benched” from work, even as early as four weeks into the pregnancy. This makes me wonder if her absence from the upcoming shorts could hint at her decision—if she’s not in them, it might mean she’s told everyone, but if she is, she’s likely keeping it a secret.

3. I know Millie is the youngest of her siblings, except for Sallie May, and she comes from a big family. To me, it’s possible that she might not want kids herself, especially if she grew up in such a chaotic household.

4. I think the episode could focus on the idea that it’s okay to choose abortion and to be happy enough with your spouse, even without children—at least for the time being.

5. She might also feel unsure about becoming a parent. From what I’ve seen, Moxxie is likely apprehensive about the idea too, especially given his fears of becoming like his abusive father. Maybe they even agreed on “no kids” when they got together.

6. Another possibility I’ve considered is that Millie might have had a child before meeting Moxxie and is now finding herself unexpectedly pregnant again.

To me, this whole situation feels layered, and I’m looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.

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#octavia of the ars goetia #season 3 (TBC)#helluva boss #subjective topics #loona buckzo #sad but true #blitz buckzo #stolas #millie knolastname #pansexual #Youtube #season 1 #season 2 #bisexual #gay #stolitz #asexual #Spotify

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flowerwiththemachinegun · 5 months ago

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Sorry I like my men toxic and nobody can convince me that Tseng would give you a fully healthy relationship. He’s just not the worst guy you could date. So here are some of Tseng’s toxic habits. I wish we could post powerpoint slides. Like I guess NSFW for my choice of words. Edit: Okay I’ve typed more. It’s NSFW, it wasn’t that when it was just scattered notes i swear. granted, this is still scattered notes

Forgiveness?

Tseng. The man you forgive a million times because someone like him is so hard to come by. Even if you’re a person who doesn’t tolerate bullshit. You know that it would be impossible to find anyone nearly as good as him despite his mistakes. Tseng knows this too, taking advantage of your level of comfort in him. The connection between the two of you so deep there wasn’t a possibility you could view life without him. Tseng creates soul bonds with his significant other, he has to have all of you fully invested in him. You would also want for absolutely nothing, he can provide everything you could ever want so you can focus on the future you want to build for yourself. Whether it’s school, art, creating your own business, etc. Tseng is there to guarantee everything goes according to plan if it’s financially or if he has to pull a few strings. Seeks out people who would be reluctant to replace him but aren’t very co-dependent. If you manage to leave Tseng, say good riddance to developing any new relationships. He’s either going to make any of your new significant others vanish. If it’s someone he can’t kill, he’ll find a way to scare them away from you or find a way to put them in prison.

My alternative reasoning as to why all of your other relationships would fail? The dick of course. Yes. The unbelievable wee wee. There’s not a soul in the world that would be able to learn your body the way he does. Have you ever heard of people being nearly ready to pass away because they lost their dick? Well if you haven’t, you have now. Even thinking of him fucking someone else the way he does with you is enough to make you want to vomit. That shit will have you sliding down the wall crying. You can try all you like to fuck someone else, it won’t compare. The way he touches you immediately sends electricity down your spine. It’s all in the way he knows how to touch you. Where to touch you. A subtle brush of his fingers along the small of your back while you’re riding him. An almost tickling sensation that causes you to press yourself against him as he leans up to kiss the most sensitive parts of your neck. How about when all he needs to do is look into your eyes and knows exactly how you want to be fucked? You can’t think of a time you had to ask him to do anything, your minds were seemingly in perfect sync. Always so so willing to please you. “So you wanna fuck other people huh?” He whispers in your ear mockingly while driving his cock deeper into you. Your knees pressed against your chest, legs hooked in Tseng’s arms as he ensures you won’t slip out of your position. No, you really don’t, not when he’s reminding you of what you’ll be missing. You’ll be calling him the next day for more, innocently asking for him to come over to “talk”. There won’t be much talking, just Tseng bending you over the kitchen table. His hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucks himself into you so deeply, ignoring the way your hands push against his abdomen in a half-hearted attempt to slow his tempo down.

There aren’t many people in this world that would be nearly as attentive as he is. The way he can easily tell all of your needs within moments of talking to you. Reads you like a book and it can’t help but make your heart flip, cause like, ��who sent this man?’ and why does he know all of your emotional needs and exactly how to take care of them? Tseng carries aspects of his job along with his relationships. The same way he gets to know his enemies closely, he’ll do the same to you. Memorizes all of your sayings, even can predict what your response would be to most questions or statements. It’s almost more eerie than heart warming. With this comes the ability to manipulate you endlessly. Gaslighting has never been easier honestly. Lying to you about anything or forcing you to agree with his point of view would be child’s play. The way he carries himself during an argument, so well composed, rarely letting his emotions control him paired with the way he effectively strings his words together to soothe you. His calmness will make you question why you’re even so worked up. Tseng isn’t, so why are you? Tseng makes you see everything through rose colored lenses, and despite your aching heart when he hurts you, Tseng could never be wrong in your eyes. He only does what’s best for you.

Gaslighting? Probably.

Truly remembers every word you’ve said to him and will use it against you. This goes back into my last little paragraph but deeper? Uses traumatic things from your past so you can believe that maybe your emotions, in regards to something Tseng has done wrong, are nothing more than misguided reactions. Will have you think that maybe you’re projecting your fears from past experiences onto him when you challenge him or try to hold him accountable for any wrongdoings. Certainly will guilt trip you knowing exactly what makes you feel like you’re the biggest piece of shit in the world. He doesn’t have to do anything outrageous. It’s the way Tseng subtly changes his body language. Slumping his shoulders just a bit, the way his brow furrows at your words or actions, breaking eye contact and staring at the floor like a scolded child. To put the cherry on top, it’s the ever so slight change in his tone of voice. The wavering in his tone as he speaks softly, not too soft for it to sound out of the ordinary, but enough for you to believe you’ve hurt his feelings. Usually resulting in you coddling him, now you’re the one apologizing because you “never meant to make him feel bad” even if it’s because you were grilling him for something as major as fucking his boss behind your back. Believing that it must be your fault if he’s off sleeping with others. Master manipulator for sure. He’s good at lying, like we see what he does for a living.

Like to make you cry because he's the only one that can also make you better. At times he’ll do this just to make sure he’s got complete control over you still. Wrapping his arms around you in such a calming way, his warmth and sweet words coaxing you to relax against him so he could “make it all better again.” More makeup sex. Somehow gets a kick out of cheering you back up. One minute you were sobbing because his words were a little too cruel and now you’re sobbing because he won’t stop fucking you so good. Tseng has a way he likes to position you in times like this. Having you lay on your stomach, your back arched just enough for his hips to flush against your ass as he completely sheaths himself in you, whispering in your ear asking “you still love me, right?” Christ, he has a way of making himself emotionally needy at just the right times. You can’t help but whimper, whine, and eventually choke out, through your moans, your appreciation, love, and devotion to him. Always ends with him cuming in you, some aftercare, then holding you in his arms for a majority of the night unless work calls him away.

Sometimes-y af?

He can pick and choose when he wants to pick up your relationship or not but you cannot do the same to him. Loves someone who he can come and go as he pleases with. You're so stupid and willing. Loyal to a fault, though the only person it’s negatively affecting is you. There isn’t a time you’ve turned him away thus far. Constantly taking him into your arms, babying him as though he’s some angel despite you knowing he isn’t. Tseng’s just managed to get you to the point you couldn't care less about his deceptive ways. You just want him by your side, no matter what the circumstances may be. The entire world can see the invisible leash and collar Tseng has put on you, yet you manage to stay blind to it all. You’ll wait like the good little puppy he’s molded you into.

It’s a wonder he can be such a gentleman and a conniving son of a bitch. The kind to end an argument by demanding to be left alone but will ask “what you're doing tonight” a few hours later---he's going to fuck you—giving you a reason to keep accepting him back into your loving arms. He knows you’re a gift from the Goddess but he can’t help that he likes being toxic at times. It’s why he treats you so well and the sex is so unbelievably good. He needs to cement himself into your soul so he can continuously get away with everything, so things can continue to go exactly as he wants it to. Tseng prefers a life with you that has no consequences. For him. You, however, have to deal with punishment if you dare treat him in a similar manner to his treatment of you. Will show his displeasure with hurtful words and by neglecting you. If that doesn’t have the desired effects he’s willing to scare you into submission. Once again, nothing too outrageous that he would do. Tseng might just choke you a bit, push you against a wall, or if you try to run he’ll hold you against him tightly. Whispering into your ear about making you disappear if he can’t have you the way he wants you. Telling you how he does so much for you and he at the very least deserves you on your best behavior at all times or else he might just have to break that pretty neck of yours. Isn’t too big on yelling, he can get his point across just fine without having to do so.

Stalker? Obviously.

Tseng has trackers in your cars, phone, and bags. It doesn’t matter where you go, he’s going to find you. He’s definitely followed you from location to location, making sure you were doing what you said you would be. Sure he’s always been able to track you, but that isn’t the same as seeing you. You could be doing anything in the areas you claimed to be in. Tseng is even familiar with the faces of employees of each store you frequent. Has tracked down every family member and friend of yours, performing thorough background checks on all of them. Even closely looking after some of the people closest to you. Tseng has to approve of the people you hang around of course, he won’t tolerate anything that he feels is a negative influence and will force them out of your life. Tseng will sit outside of your house for hours after leaving, wondering if someone will come over. If he knows someone is coming over he’s got your home mic’d. Listening to all of your conversations, evading your most private conversations. Hates to hear when you vent about him, makes it hard to come back to you and act nice when in reality he wants to correct you for telling his business to your friends and family. Doesn’t mind when you’re speaking highly of him though, you help boost his ego most of the time. Getting space from Tseng is impossible. Your attempts to drive around and find a nice parking spot are all for nothing. He’s following right behind you. Is definitely going to block you in with his own car, angrily getting out of his own. Once he made you leave your car where it was entirely. Pissed that you would try to get away from him at all, it doesn’t matter if it’s just for a few hours. Pushing you into the passenger seat of his car, driving you back home all while yelling about how stupid you were and that you would always come back begging for him.

He was always right about that. Nothing would stop you from wanting Tseng back if he finally decided he was done. A relationship with Tseng is either on his terms or very much a “till death do us part”

#tseng of the turks #tseng ff7 #tseng x reader #ff7 #final fantasy vii #ffvii #final fantasy rebirth #headcanons

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chickentendersandketchup · 7 days ago

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okay #long rant I don’t know if anybody will see this but like I just want to rant and ask for recommendations. I’m really really SOOOO tired of reading like jungkook or bts fanfictions where y/n is “just a girl” or toxicity fanfics of the girl coming back when they do the most god awful thing ever because she loves him or allowing the behaviors to happen constantly. I get that it’s up to the writers on how they want to portray y/n but let me tell you I have read so many fanfics where it’s all the fucking same and at some point you get irritated bc it’s nothing new!! Sometimes it’s fine I guess but like guys I really just want to read a GOOD angst worthy fic where y/n can stand up for herself and doesn’t fall for the same old tricks that we see which is like “you always come back to me” stuff idk. I’m having such a hard time trying to find different fics on here. we constantly see this/variations of this manipulation cycle in fanfics and slowburns. I need y/n not to be on that bullshit like when she eventually chooses to be with said person like I’m really meaning like standing on business ten toes fuck you and that’s on period type shit imma make you work hard asf if you want my aura. Like make jungkook hot sexy dom or whatever you want BUT also make y/n a smart girl that don’t play like that either to the point he’s groveling needing her so bad bc her aura is just that insane and fly and fuck like this girl is nonchalant FINAL BOSS even tho in her heart she does care. Like idkkk I want to see more powerful y/n characters that understand who they are and aren’t just meant to fall into the tropes writers always give them of them being a girl. Sometimes it gets me so frustrated to equate the emotions of femininity and the emotionally maturity of a woman navigating through that with a y/n that’s constantly making the most dumb stupid mistakes you’ve ever seen. Like yes this exists in real life but don’t act like the other side don’t exist too 😭🙌 Women are smarter than dat too yall… where’s the fanfic of a girl who has never done anything but is still very emotionally mature in navigating new sexual experiences for HERSELF and not just toxic love showcase. Does this make sense? Idk I’ve been really frustrated with being on tumblr trying to read fics but it’s just so difficult to enjoy a story sometimes when you just KEEP seeing it. And obviously there’s the choice of just exiting out and leaving the story like yea no shit I am doing that. It just fucking sucks bc like everyone else I also want to feel fulfilled and engaged and invested too but I feel like I’m going crazy. Does anybody PLEASE have any recommendations like this like I want really good angst/heartbreaking a bit but a happy ending and it’s one where y/n can stand on business. Like shit is so serious for me I’m coming out the trenches to beg for some recommendations. I hope I explained it correctly bc there’s so much I want to say but I don’t know how to word it exactly either without offending other readers/writers. Where are my y/ns that are feminist as fuck bruh 😭🙏

#bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #rant post

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tubbytarchia · 2 months ago

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I feel it’s unjustified and extremely harsh for you to say that Wild Life has “the least tension or meaningful viewer retention or investment in the characters” and “did bare explorations of interesting themes” only because your faves didn’t get to have a narratively satisfying ending or moments. It’s valid to be disappointed about what happened to them/their arc and I get it since I’ve felt that way too about my fave in some of the seasons, but I never blame it on the season’s gimmick or the CCs because I know nothing is scripted and things happen spontaneously. I can’t expect things to go the way it could go or be stuck on it because it’d be unrealistic of me to assume that everyone’s characters will get a spotlight or character development or have their plans for the season fulfilled. While you’re 100% allowed to feel upset and even to list Wild Life as your least favourite, it’s unwarranted to say this season had barely anything to give when it had a fun gimmick, awesome wildcards, new alliances, funny moments and skirmishes, and arguably is the most narratively satisfying season for the winner to win at. I love that you acknowledged this season wasn’t for you, but making blanket statements like those is unnecessarily cruel to the work the CCs have put into their videos.

I didn't blame anything on the CCs either, and all I stated was my opinion. I go out of my way to disclaim that I'm expressing opinion because of responses like this and still I get faulted for "blanket statements" when I don't end every sentence with "in my opinion"

I didn't watch all the POVs but none of them had me invested through to the end personally, not just my favorites. There were a lot of funny moments, it had that in entertainment value, but what I seek from Life Series is the drama and tension first and comedy second, which I acknowledged that this series just may not be trying to cater to anymore, therefore it isn't catering to me, but I can still be sad about it

Of course I'm interested in the characters by default, especially Pearl after seeing her alliance, I really wanted to see where it would go. In the end much of nothing went anywhere for anyone. BigB had a really strong start and kind of fizzled out through no fault of his own, the BAMers were a very cute dynamic and interesting for their kill count alone but then all went kind of unceremoniously and didn't leave me with a lot of emotional attachment, and I feel similarly about Gem and Joel. Scar especially suffered struggling to achieve what he had set out to do since episode 2. The Gs had some very good moments for me to chew on regarding Pearl's and Cleo's dynamic and such but that was a small saving grace. Gem and Pearl didn't get past stage 1 of their dynamic. The idea of untrustworthiness was posed with BigB and Etho pretty strongly regarding the Gs and then they just kinda stopped caring. Team BET were kind of doing their own thing and that worked really well, narratively those guys ended up having me the most intrigued and they were among the least interest for me at the start. So many alliances were proposed in passing eg Ren with Jimmy, BigB and anyone, and then nothing narratively compelling came of them if anything at all

Again, I don't blame the CCs whatsoever for any of my failed enjoyment, but the gimmicks took center stage and interferred with the tension and drama instead of encouraging it like Secret Life, which I think did what it did really well in spite of already being very gimmicky, and I feel confident in placing my problem with the series there. This time around there was just no room to breathe for at least half the episodes, the finale especially when no one was doing much of anything other than walking around deducing the gimmicks and dying to them instead of to each other until they were quite literally forced to. And that hampered the aspect that I enjoy the most and have gotten out of every season before it, hence why my disappointment is so potent. And at least one of the CCs seems to feel similarly about the unsatisfying resolutions and failed developments

Yes the new alliances were cool, yes the player that won deserved the win, etc etc, all fine in a vacuum but I didn't see much chance for them to prosper and wish these alliances and this win were part of a different season. It's my opinion and if you disagree then that's absolutely ok, and I welcome your own opinions but please stop faulting me for it. I wish I could have enjoyed it but I don't get to just change my main draw for the series unfortunately

#blabber

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voxofthevoid · 4 months ago

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Oh my god! OH MY GOD!! I've been reading your Goyuu long fic and I think its easily the top 1 fic I've read this year. The dynamic is gold your Gojo characterization is everything I want and look for in the other ships and tragically can't find, and Yuuji/Sukuna symbiosis you have in there has me on my knees!!! I have always had a headcanon that Gojo is awful at intimacy not in the he hates intimacy way but his idea of intimacy is so warped that sometimes he can't differentiate between violence and love and god you deliver oh, you so deliver! And I love how you brought forward Yuuji's slightly unhinged violent side here too and his enjoyment of that mix of violence and sex I find very relatable tbh and in character for him. I don't know I feel like I can't articulate why I love your fic so much, especially chapter 10!! I've re-read it so sooo many times! Its perfect and maybe there's a little Sukuna in me too because every time I re-read it I'm turning into that sickos meme and go "yees, yees hehe yeees!!" anyway this was a longwinded way to say my braincells are invested in this fic. Thank you for sharing it with us!!!!

If I could eat this by the mouth, I would.

This would have been incredibly flattering to hear for any of my stories, but that fic is pretty much my favorite child among my JJK fics, so believe me when I say I’ve been floating on cloud nine since you sent this ask. Thank you so, so much ❤

I’m very much in the same camp when it comes to Gojou’s approach to intimacy. He’d want it, crave it—he’s canonically so lonely. But it’s also very clear that he’s not the most graceful (understatement of the year) when it comes to the emotional side of things, and the only close relationship he had in his life imploded spectacularly when he was seventeen. Recently, I called his affection “a kind of consuming love,” and that’s the headcanon I go with even in my tamest ideas. And every version of the story is anything but tame. I’d say that’s one of my most fucked-up Gojous. From the inciting event to the very end, everything serves to make him more and more insane about Yuuji.

As for Yuuji, I’ve pretty much turned his duality—that fascinating blend of immense compassion and devastating violence—into my fandom hill to kill and cannibalize on. On top of that, the sheer potential of his and Sukuna’s body-sharing situation gives me an evil thought or three, especially when considering the themes of body–soul themes in JJK and how Yuuji’s vesselhood is presented as distinctly different from that of others. He can digest a whole calamitous soul and feel every excruciating inch of the process, as a treat! So I’m right there with you in acting like the guy in the sickos meme 🤝

I appreciate those invested brain cells very much!

#i love my anons #anon #goyuu #fic: every version of the story

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tabithatwo · 2 years ago

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i humbly request some of your jackienat thoughts at this time

I am humbly providing many many days after you asked!

Jackienat in canon: god I’ve talked about them at length before but there two as individuals are my little sweetie snookums lovebug angels (I love all the yellowjackets but god god god I love them); they are the two girls who I believe are the most invested in the team as a whole. I think they would’ve been amazing co-captains side note (not me suddenly considering writing a short little au something about them being captains together GOD). I think that it’s been said very well by many people, but they are so tethered. They want what’s best for all the girls, they love hard, and they do NOT get that energy in return enough. I don’t really understand why people come to the conclusion that they hated each other. I DEFINITELY don’t get why people come to the conclusion that they hated each other PRE crash, because there’s nothing negative show between them when we DO see other girls be bitchy to Nat and make fun of Jackie’s earnestness, but it’s never these two against each other. Nat is very vocally anti freeze her out, everyone knows innately that Jackie would be without even asking. I’ve spoken about their fight at length before, so without getting too far into that I will just say I think the way it escalates and gets so emotional and personal is very very telling. I don’t think they’ve fought before, Nat is clearly more emotional than when the other girls are cruel to her which I think means she didn’t expect it from Jackie, Nat hits back with a threat/fights back instead of brushing it off like she usually does. I think it’s fucking tragic that they fought and never got to reconcile, because they both are the type to hold guilt and sadness over that shit. Them teaming up at doomcoming against the crazy, the way Jackie would’ve lived if Nat were home for her and Shauna’s fight, the eulogy Nat gives Jackie when she takes her bones to the plane. They are just tragic and beautiful and we’re robbed of the chance to be truly close friends, because I really do think that’s the trajectory they were on.

Jackienat platonically: oh GOD do I love them. I can’t wait to explore their dynamic in we practice resurrection every night. I talked a lot about how I think they’d be close above but I also heavily hc that jackienat and shaunalottie each made out at least one party in high school respectively. They are so special to me. Sweet girls with huge hearts and very curated protective exteriors beloved beloved beloved.

Jackienat romantically: I love it so much. I am a jackieshauna and lottienat at heart (clearly lmao) but I LOVE them as a stop on the way to those endgames. I think they’d be surprisingly soft and sweet as a pairing and I think that they’d be able to help each other through the ummmm tougher times of shauna and lottie’s less than ideal behaviors lol. (I LOVE BOTH SHAUNA AND LOTTIE DEEPLY but they have some very rough tendencies that would be hard as their partner and I think some commitment issues/stumbling blocks to get to a healthy (healthy for yj) relationship status, just objectively lmao). Jackienat is hot and fun and kind and loving and the type of young dyke relationship that leads to really close lifelong friendship no one can ever change my mind on that <3 they should kiss <3

#jackienat #jackie x natalie #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #lottie matthews #nat scatorccio #jackie x shauna #lottie x natalie #yellowjackets #asks answered

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lovedoesnotconquerall · 2 months ago

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My 2024 Year Recap

Dramas

This was a fairly disappointing year for kdramas for me, and I didn’t stay on top of a lot of the dramas as they aired. It wavered between drama droughts and floods too frequently for me to keep up. Nonetheless, here are some of my favorites (not necessarily the best) from this year–

Historical Cdrama:

Blossom

This drama was the whole package for me. The acting, the cinematography, the costuming and sets, the wigs with sideburns, and the creativity of working around the rebirth genre. It avoided the OP pitfall that comes with this type of story and took on a different time period from what I’ve seen lately. I loved the women’s costumes so, so much! Plus the story moved along quickly without feeling rushed. I adore Meng Ziyi and desperately wanted a main character drama win for her, and boy did this deliver. Plus Li Yunrui finally got the girl!!

An aside– If Blossom hadn’t aired at the end of this year, this probably would’ve gone to The Double. But I did a quick rewatch this week and was disappointed by how much it didn’t hold up for me. I blame this largely on the camera blocking choices, as many of the heavy impact and meaningful moments that were likely well-scripted were weakened by having the actors act looking straight into the camera. Some actors weren’t up to the task, skill-wise. And other scenes just would have carried so much more emotional weight if both characters were on screen, and the actors were feeding off each others’ performances. In fact, the scene that had me in an absolute chokehold was the drunk rain sequence in episode 17 with Xiao Heng’s intense, jaw-clenched gaze as he resisted his desire for A’Li. By the end of the drama, I felt like I was watching actors act, rather than believing these were characters whose stories I was invested in emotionally. The drama was still a stand out, especially for its use of color, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of watching it air live alongside my tumblr mutuals!

Fantasy:

Fangs of Fortune

I had absolutely no idea what this was about going in. I couldn’t recall even watching a trailer and gave it a shot on a whim. From the costumes to the set design, every aspect of this drama was a visual feast. It felt otherworldly and sucked me in right from the start. I loved the way we saw our main characters’ stories reflected in the side character vignettes, and I never felt the need to fast forward. Even without the extra episode, I was still satisfied with the ending as presented. I don’t need a happy ending if the story’s resolution is justified narratively and this absolutely was. That being said, the extra episode made my shipper heart absolutely feral. No complaints here! I can’t give enough praise to Hou Minghao for his performance here as Zhao Yuanzhou. I see nothing of this character in his other performances, and that really speaks to his ability to adapt and fully live in this role.

Modern Cdrama:

Derailment

It technically finished airing in January, so I’m putting it here on this list. Another underrated drama I knew next to nothing about but left being so satisfied. The ship was so good, and the height difference was delightful. Also, the intimacy of hair washing! I really liked Liu Haocun’s performance. I’d never seen her in anything before, but I look forward to what she does next.

Modern Kdrama:

Lovely Runner

I started this on a plane and almost quit because of what I thought was going to be an over-the-top, cringey portrayal of kpop fanaticism (and I like kpop!!). I’m so glad I weathered that misconception because by the end of episode 2 it shaped up to be everything I wanted and more. I actually bought songs off the soundtrack and still listen to them today. It was fun, sugary sweet, and a joy to watch.

Ships/Pairings:

Song Mo x Dou Zhao, Blossom

I don’t know what more needs to be said about them that I haven’t already posted. They were genuinely equally matched, and I could clearly follow the logical, developed plot points that led to their coupling. The actors felt lived-in their characters and every aspect of the production played their part in making this a believable ride-or-die pairing. The chemistry oozed off the screen from their first encounter. His gaze in episode 1 when they lament trusting the wrong people? Unreal. He was so down bad for her, and tbh? Same.

Whatever was happening, Fangs of Fortune

Nobody delivered longing, connection, fondness, and trust like the multiships in this drama. I was locked in on all of the ships for different reasons. ZYZ and ZYC will hold a special place in my heart for all the things that didn’t need to be said. Who needs dialogue when you can gaze lovingly into the eyes of your soulmate without alerting the censors?

Older drama I watched in 2024:

Princess Agents (2017)

I am Team A’Chu x Yan Xun all the way. Warming her hands through a hole in the wall while dying in prison? Say no more!

(I do wish we could’ve seen Song Mo unleash his inner Yan Xun a little. Alas, censorship…)

Books

I read 37 books this year, excluding web novels. I felt pretty meh about most of the books I read, neither loving nor hating them. Nevertheless, here are some of my favorites.

Fiction:

Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-Reum, translated by Shanna Tan

This book was like a comforting cup of coffee on a cloudy winter day. An unexpected group of lost people are drawn by and grow together around the warmth of a local bookshop. I loved the slice-of-life nature of the chapters and the gentle affirmations built into the characters’ decisions to slow down their lives.

Nonfiction:

City Limits: Infrastructure, Inequality, and the Future of America’s Highways by Megan Kimble

Growing up in Texas along the Interstate-45 corridor made this an especially compelling yet bleak read.

Novella/Short Story:

Minor Detail by Adania Shibili, translated by Elisabeth Jaquette

Relevant, abrupt, and brutal. It left me numb for days after finishing it.

Open Throat by Henry Hoke, narrated by Pete Cross

This was so odd and creative I don’t really know how to describe it. It gives clever, poignant social/political commentary through the eyes of a mountain lion living on the fringes of a Los Angeles park.

Audiobook:

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa, translated by Philip Gabriel, narrated by George Blagden

The ending was predictable early on, but that didn’t make it any less impactful. I spent the last hour or so listening while sobbing uncontrollably to the point that my hobble-legged former street cat curled up in my lap to comfort me, which of course only made me more inconsolable. This book was beautiful and will hold a special place in my heart, thanks in large part to the experience of listening to, rather than visually reading, it.

Web Novel:

Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Shan Cha Ke, translated by Lazy Girl Translations

I am weak for a well written woman-in-disguise story. Especially one involving martial arts. And to add a general x general ship to it? What more could I ask for? I was excited to see Cheng Lei cast as Xiao Jue, and I look forward to seeing the drama adaptation next year. (hopefully…)

Movies

Twisters

I rarely go to the theater, and movies aren’t really my preferred form of delivery for narrative arcs and character exploration. But I visited college roommates in Seattle over the summer, and we went to see this on a pure whim. It was ridiculous and fun and took me back to our college days reserving the TV room in our co-op house to wind down after exams.

And with that… on to 2025!

#blossom #the double #fangs of fortune #derailment #lovely runner #princess agents

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voiidegg · 11 months ago

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MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AA: DUAL DESTINIES UNDER THE CUT :D

i finished the game this morning, i’m on 5 hours of sleep, i stayed up all night playing it because i got way too invested.

NOT ONCE. NOT ONCE DID I SUSPECT THAT IDIOT OF A DETECTIVE. IT WAS ONLY UNTIL THE VERY LAST MINUTE THAT I REALISED. i felt absolutely sick to my stomach when i realised. i don’t even know why i trusted him so much, i literally thought he was just irrelevant to everything. there were NO HINTS. my brain absolutely HURT

hell, even I HAD DOUBTS about athena. i thought perhaps the murder was just a huge mistake. i figured out that athena must have been the one to put her mothers body on the operating table because she would think it could fix her, but i was in the dark about everything else. the MINUTE athena talked about blood getting on the handle, i knew it couldn’t have been her, i was so relieved.

i cannot begin to tell you the absolute CHILLS i got when miles revealed that the real bobby fulbright is DEAD. and had been for a year. that was the most chilling thing i’ve heard in this franchise so far and i don’t even know why it got to me so much. i think it was the thought of how the real fulbright had family, and nobody confirmed his death for a whole year, so that family was wondering where he had gone. it hit me right in the feels cuz personal experience :,) i don’t even know if that fact is true, it’s just something i thought of.

this case was absolutely amazing. usually i (and i’m sure many others) can figure out the culprit just before the final trial, but i was left in the dark for so long. even when that cctv image of the phantom showed up, i knew it had to be somebody we already knew, because why would they introduce a new person so late into a case? so i looked at every profile hard, AND WHEN I GOT TO FULBRIGHT’S, I RULED HIM OUT, SIMPLY BECAUSE I COULDNT LINK HIM TO THE MURDER 7 YEARS AGO. i was at such a loss on who it could have been.

and then, the one statement aura had after establishing the escape route. and i froze. this is by far the best case in the franchise, i couldnt stop playing even if i wanted to. there were so many bone chilling moments, like the emotions overload from blackquill, the NO emotions from the phantom, the messing around with emotions from him, finding out who he was posing as, him getting straight up sniped in the courtroom, apollo questioning athena.

and GOD SPEAKING OF APOLLO the way he just suffered alone i cAANTT ugghh. and poor athena… she was just a kid T^T

also i revoke my previous statement about blackquill. he’s a good guy. can be annoying, but he’s good at heart. i enjoyed his character in the end. i can’t imagine how furious he must have been when his phantom of 7 years was right under his nose the entire time. blackquill did everything to protect athena and i found it so endearing, i love what they have, it’s so sweet. i think i just need to learn to give prosecutors a chance, because i always dislike them until the finale, then when their motives are revealed, i see sense and i like them.

i was so angry i didn’t get to see the phantom’s face, but after sleeping on it i’ve realised that’s actually better than seeing his face. i dunno it just feels more right for his true face to mean nothing.

so, to conclude my ramble, what a game. so worth me staying up all night til 10am for :] i don’t think anything can top that, but i’ll be pleasantly surprised if it happens

i may follow up this post with some video reactions i clipped, we’ll see :D

#my post #hayley’s ace attorney adventures #gaming adventures #ace attorney #apollo justice #ace attorney dual destinies #apollo justice trilogy #phoenix wright #turnabout for tomorrow

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cuteniarose · 3 months ago

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ATLA for the ask game!!

*stares blankly at my screen as I try to remember the last time I've felt any strong emotion for an AtLA character*

(no genuinely those guys just kinda Exist to me istg I’m not invested even when I’m actively rewatching the show)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) – This one’s easy: Azula. One does not simply go through their teenage years as a severely mentally ill girl with a shitty dad and emotionally absent mom who favours the other child and end up normal about Azula lmao. I need any and every canon media to leave her the fuck alone. No I do not have a vision as to what happens to her post canon. Yes I do think that what the creators went with sucks ass and thus is not canon in my multiverse thank you very much

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) – Appa. Just Appa. As a bonus, baby Appa. I need a plush of him more than I need to breathe (though Hanička might get to it so.. how good that idea is may be debatable). Oh, and The Duke. Have you ever seen him hugging Toph in the background of the last episode (I believe)?? Babies, absolute babies, they deserve the world, your honour

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) – …. Mai? I feel like Mai doesn’t get enough love in the fandom. My current objective is trying to get the friend I’m making watch AtLA for the first time like her :P

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) – Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I’ve thought over this one for a good 20 minutes and haven’t been able to come up with anything because I Genuinely Do Not Care That Much, but during this past rewatch I’ve been doing with my friends I have had a *Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme* moment at every reference to Yangchen thanks to A CERTAIN SOMEONE, so… might not be me who never shuts up about her, but she still counts (though I did go on a small infodump when my friend asked me “which one’s that one?” during the Avatar State montage in Book 2 Episode 1, so… perhaps there is more of a case to be made here). Oh, and Smellerbee. I wanna know what Smellerbee’s deal is. No one ever talks about Smellerbee :/

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) – Hama. Partially for Ming-Hua related reasons, partially because I’m obsessed with the concept of bloodbending (and yet cannot give two shits about Amon or Tarrlok 🤔 Hm, correction: the concept of bloodbending women :D), partially because I wholeheartedly believe that she was brought back to the South Pole and she and Kanna got to be lesbians together for whoever many years they had left – side note, how come every bloodbending woman is a lesbian? – and there’s a certain subsection of the fandom who have proven to not be able to be normal about victims of colonisation, hence the “problematic” category. (Also… not a character, but the Great Divide is a fun episode and you all are way too mean about it. Yes, it does have some.. questionable implications, but all the arguments about how it doesn’t further the plot are stupid as fuck because IMO, if we have time for half a dozen random Fire Nation adventures and a whole episode dedicated to Zuko’s sob story and the trashfire that Ember Island Players is, we have time for the Great Divide. Argue with a wall)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) – Zuko. This is because I do not like him. No further commentary lest this fandom tear me to pieces. And Jet. This is also because I do not like him. And Sokka. But I actually do like him, I just think it’s funny when he suffers (/affectionate)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) – Pakku. It has been 11 years since I watched AtLA for the first time and never once have I been convinced that Kanna actually married him. Absolutely not, to superhell with you. If there’s any NWT waterbender who deserves to get with Kanna, it’s Yugoda. Hama/Kanna/Yugoda polycule when???

#this took me. no joke. an hour to do #it has never occurred to me how much I just.. don’t care about AtLA characters lmao #this is very much an LoK zone. if not a MoM zone #I think it’s cause. like I said. I’ve been into this show since I was 6 #I’ve rewatched AtLA so many times that I’m just beyond caring #I know every plot point beat by beat. I know what happens to every character #I know it’s useless to worry about high stakes bc it’s all gonna work out in the end #I can practically quote the damn thing in its entirety #you get my point?#so even rewatching the show is less me being invested in it and more me being curious about my friend’s reactions #I like these guys well enough but none of them make me scream and chew glass and sob hysterically like LoK characters or OCs do #so honestly I’d never call any of them any tumblr terms #those are reserved for the Highest Caliber of emotional response. I feel like #most of this was written with an ‘eh. close enough’ attitude #which I feel sounds very mean but it’s the truth #I would say I enjoyed filling this out but honestly it just gave me a headache #sorry Kat :P #(okay fine it was fun OCCASIONALLY. I’m not that mean)#(if you try apologising I will bonk you on the head with a rolled up newspaper)#avatar the last airbender #ask game #not tagging any characters bc I can’t be bothered to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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passionatetraders199 · 3 months ago

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The Shocking Myth About Trading Everyone's Been Fooled By!

Honestly, when I first started learning about trading, I believed what most people still do:

To succeed, you have to predict the market. It sounded so logical, right? If you can see where the market is headed, you’ll win every time. But here’s the truth this is one of the biggest myths that keeps so many people stuck, frustrated, and, frankly, losing money.

In fact, trying to predict every single market move is not just impossible but also harmful to your success. I genuinely want to help you avoid falling into this trap because I’ve seen how damaging it can be. Let me walk you through why this myth persists, why it’s wrong, and how you can take a better approach to trading.

The Truth Behind the Myth: Why It’s Holding You Back

Let’s be real I wouldn’t want to be the genius trader who perfectly predicts the market? But the harsh reality is that no one can do it. Not even the experts. This myth thrives because it gives people false hope, but here’s why it’s such a problem:

It creates unrealistic expectations: You expect every trade to be a win, and when it’s not, you feel like a failure. But trading doesn’t work like that.

It encourages risky behavior: Believing in predictions can push you to take impulsive, high risk trades. Honestly, that’s a dangerous mindset.

It shifts focus from the essentials: Instead of learning valuable skills like risk management and strategy, traders waste time chasing something that’s not achievable.

What Successful Traders Actually Do

Now, here’s where the real magic lies. The best traders don’t focus on predicting the future they focus on mastering the things they can control.

Risk Management: This is genuinely the foundation of success. Great traders know that losing some trades is normal. What matters is minimizing losses and maximizing wins over time.

Consistency Over Perfection: Rather than chasing predictions, successful traders follow a clear plan that works in the long term.

Emotional Discipline: Let’s be honest trading stirs up emotions. But staying calm and making decisions based on strategy, not feelings, is what sets winners apart.

How to Succeed Without Chasing Predictions

I know you want real, actionable advice, so here’s a simple plan to set you on the right path:

1. Learn, Learn, Learn: In fact, knowledge is your greatest tool. Study market trends, explore strategies, and genuinely understand how trading works.

2. Start Small: Try the waters with small investments or demo accounts. This approach is ideal for building confidence without risking too much.

3. Set Realistic Goals: Honestly, expecting overnight success will only discourage you. Focus on small, steady progress instead.

4. Stay Updated: The market is always evolving. Keep yourself informed and adjust your strategy as needed.

Let’s Wrap This Up

Trading isn’t about predicting every market move it’s about building a strategy that works, managing risks, and staying consistent. Honestly, when you stop chasing the impossible and start focusing on what really matters, that’s when you’ll see true progress.✨

Tell me honestly in your trading journey, have you ever believed in this myths?

Comment ‘Yess’ or ‘No’ below I’m curious to know

Stay blessed 😊

#stock market #trading success #cryptocurrency #financialfreedom #trading tips #stock trading #tradingskills #forex traders #learntotrade #stockmarkettips #investmentstrategies #tradingmindset #cryptotrading #day trading #forex trading for beginners #riskmanagement #hardworkpaysoff

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kayas-obsession · 2 years ago

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I guess it is true when people say a book is never read the same way twice.

I’ve heard a difference in opinion many times.

These are my interpretations on Elriel. To be honest, they were just thrown at me and I didn’t know how to react. I was happy ig? But not really invested. Initially I loved the idea of them.

Then I reread the series.

And I didn’t even know how to interpret it and just thought oh well. Because Azriel still was obsessed over Mor and clearly couldn’t control his emotions so ofc mine for Elriel was all over the place.

Mor and Azriel always felt so uncomfortable for me. Like I couldn’t breathe when they were mentioned together in a romantic way. Because Mor was obviously so distraught over the idea of the two of them together. And then she came out. I was so happy Azriel was out of this cycle because I knew a confrontation was in order.

But then he was suddenly in love with Elain?

Like um, what?

I just couldn’t grasp what happened.

When I tell you how surprised I was to find his behaviour towards Elain during the war. When he gave her his dagger I thought it represented his protective nature. Nothing more. And his anger when she got captured? Kinda suspicious but okay.

I hadn’t read the bonus chapter 2 years ago so no I wasn’t shipping Az with Gwyn.

And then I read the bonus chapter. When I tell you my jaw dropped when they nearly kissed.

The point I’m making is, they just had this buildup all of a sudden that I just couldn’t believe SJM would have planned out.

When SJM introduces something like a kiss or anything intimate it’s always a slow burn. Like sometimes so slow it’s annoying. (TOG, CC, Cassian and Nesta) It was more or less in 30% of the book where they had any progress.

So then I started questioning. Why? To build all that just to drop it in a bonus scene? To inform us a confirmation of their feelings in a bonus which I’m sorry, I had missed for 2 years. Maybe my fault too but it just felt so anticlimactic.

I lost any interest I had in this couple because where was the heat? Where was the toe curling, book-shutting-and-squealing buildup? Where was the electricity that was briefly mentioned in ACOSF? The “I pine for you enough to fight the world much less a high lord” scene? Where was Azriel’s mention of love when Rhys asked him why Azriel had planned to stick his tongue down Elains throat?

And why was Gwyn even mentioned when it was just about these two that I was invested in? And to give her the necklace, a gift he bought for Elain which idk why Elain even sent back to him. And to end the POV with mentioning Gwyn in the same detail he had mentioned the necklace?

So yes I read ACOSF again and this time I knew the devil was in the details.

The promise of a slow toe curling romance was in the horizon and I’m sorry I won’t stay and keep my hopes in a forbidden romance with characters who would give up on each other at the first warning. I’m here for the bickering, the challenges, the ones that make the characters eyes twinkle with glee instead of tears.

If SJM changes her mind I will never hate her for it but a part of me will always be disappointed that she did not use this massive potential of a couple.

#acotar #azriel #gwyneth berdara #fantasy #gwynriel #books #anti elriel #azriel x gwyn #gwyneth x azriel #gwyn acosf #gwyn supremacy #gwyn acotar #gwyn x azriel #gwynweek2023

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love-addybug · 3 months ago

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this is gonna be more stream of consciousness writing than like a well put together post because i want you to analyze this the same way i am.

as i have started to find the terminology ideologies that have made up the beliefs i’ve held about humanity and our coexistence my entire life i have come to find myself disgruntled with the way that some of my peers in political spaces approach their inclusivity.

also this is probably not going to be very pc at all and i do not aim to offend anyone with what i’m about to say, if you feel like i am missing something i would love to talk about it as i’m trying to learn and grow as much as i can <3

so there are four main things i want to talk about: differences in beliefs regarding motherhood, the approach of community and grassroots activism, and PRACTICING WHAT YOU PREACH and i say that very very loudly oh my flipping goodness

motherhood

a lot of the women on the left, especially those my age both online and off are very confused when i say that my dream, like ultimate perfect life would to be a SAHM.

- “don’t you have career aspirations?”

yea duh. i LOVE teaching because

i LOVE kids and i LOVE learning and i think it is so incredibly important to inspire children, especially, to pursue knowledge. but if i could pick anything to do without consequence it would be to fully invest those loves into my own children’s lives full time. to raise them with magic brushing their spirit.

also it is so weird to me that people on the left still only really value paid labor. domestic labor is real work too.

- “aren’t you scared of being dependent on only your husband’s income?”

oh for sure it terrifies me. but i am determined personally to have children

with a man who i trust enough to be their

father, which matters more to me than anything else in the world. if he cannot be a good husband, i would not choose him for their father to begin with. and i know i cannot truly predict the whims of life. the ebb and flow of the world, but my selection will be of the most careful variety and sometimes you have to trust that things will work.

- “why would you demean yourself to only the biological implications of womanhood?”

hm. so this feels veryyyyy icky to me, idk why but when my friend asked me this i couldn’t help but feel a ball of nervousness form in the back of my throat. saying that my pursuit of motherhood, of bringing new life onto the planet (or adopting and hopefully giving a child a home they need), is a mere biological implication of myself feels so utterly dehumanizing. it is a life, a voice, a spirit, and through it i will attach myself permanently as a source of reliance. additionally while many women and other folks have the ability to get pregnant, it doesn’t mean it is their like lifelong destiny.

- “what if you get lazy?”

i think motherhood is a domestic labor so undervalued that it is drastically effecting the shape of families across the world. there is no such thing as a ‘working mother’ ALL mothers work,

and tirelessly at that. not only are their jobs without rest, but come with an emotional load closer to the heart than any other job on the face of the planet.

- “won’t you look back and regret not doing more?”

oh my bad i didn’t know raising the next generation of people was such a menial job to you.

i truly feel that many people with all different sorts of ideological convictions underestimate the value of mothers to our society. so to my friends on here: please please please consider that it isn’t a conservative value to want to put your children first. motherhood is just as noble a pursuit as any paid job and if you think otherwise maybe your beliefs aren’t as removed from capitalism as you think they are.

community and grassroots organizing

i am about to get cancelled by my like 12 followers on tumblr

1. go to the church-led event where you can serve the needy. as someone who has a very complicated relationship with religion i still manage to make it to every soup kitchen, food bank, clothes swap, and charity drive that my hometown church puts on. that is because over my own needs, i place the needs of my community. i know they need my hands to help, my ears to hear, and my heart to fellowship. my discomfort is les important than not taking the opportunity to serve my less fortunate neighbors.

2. your outspoken republican neighbor is still astronomically closer to your class interests than almost every single one of our representatives. keep in mind your real enemies are the people preying on those neighbors’ miseducations to turn a profit and encourage the cyclical war machine. a real socialist considers class war before anything else and sympathizes for those people while simultaneously making an effort towards their re-education. some of y’all love hate way too much, you would be surprised what NOT using buzzwords does :)

3. obviously organizing should be a constant effort. but it won’t be if you don’t know the people in your community. go outside, actually touch grass. go to those community events, or host them! even if it means going to a church led function. (i said it again)

even if we can’t have universal healthcare, we can always offer our neighbor our own excess and kindness.

ACTUALLY DOING IT

- it starts in the home. i have realized that many of y’all (ESP THE MEN) will get on here and yap self righteously about how much a progressive they are, how labor is undervalued by superiors and society at large etc and then that’s it. do the dishes, the laundry, the cooking, stop talking about how much you loveeee communism or socialism or anarchism when your mommy still bleaches your tightywhities for you.

*obviously on occasion, there are times when work isn’t gonna be split. but you should aim to normally do what you should and then 1/2 of the things your partner would have that aren’t ‘your jobs’ yes they are now, shoo”

- stop demeaning inherently leftist things because they aren’t intellectual enough for you. gardening, cooking and feeding people, mending clothes, doing crafts with children, are all just as or even arguably MORE beneficial for the movement towards a quote unquote radical society where everyone has what they need.

- no more getting offended when i say some wack violent shit. as Kwame said, “in order for non-violence to work your opponent must have a conscious” that’s right and our opponent is? the super mega duper crazy powerful warlords that run our country mhm. mhm. so let’s just let that marinate. because when i say “ocean gate is god’s wrath” y’all didn’t take kindly to it. and that feels very silly to me. as someone with so much appreciation for quality human lives, i could care less about any of those people who spent a gazillion dollars to go in a shitty submarine.

anyways i’m done and i’ve been teasing this post forever so here it is. i don’t even think y’all gonna like it. and i especially don’t think y’all are going to like my next nerdy post because it is about the B-I-B-L-E

i know, crazy right?

#the promised nerd post #im just a girl #gaslight gatekeep girlblog #girlblog #girlblogging #a very long post indeed #i love y’all #let’s do better together #us politics #politics #+10000000000000 aura if you read said nerdy post :3 #progressive politics #not pc whoops

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missv4mpsdiary · 8 months ago

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Miss Vamp’s Diary • Fetish Goths Explained

Introduction

This is my first tumblr post don’t judge me. I’ve been wanting to do this since purple galaxy pattern was trending. I’m also writing this on my phone atm. You can skip the introduction, just trying to show some credibility as a goth content creator (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩⑅)

Hello, my name is Miss Vamp. You can also address me as “Vamp” or “V4mptiddy” if you’re not one of my simps online. I decided to open up a small blog to elaborate on some small things like my inspirations for my fashion/cosmetics, honest makeup reviews, commentary on gothic culture or just personal experiences as a financial dominatrix. I want to share more dimensional factors about my (attempted) online personality. This is my awkward way of actually conveying some information that I’ve planned on sharing with the public such as how I’ve grown into being “Miss Vamp”.

I’m a year and a half in the industry, I hope to have this as a long term investment in my future. I aspire to be a goth influencer like MamieHades with my own twist. I love her to bits, one of the first people to notice my posts when I started on Instagram around April 2023.

During my time, I’ve managed to have a sub-funded makeup series where subs buy my makeup for me, a collaboration photoshoots with my best friend of eight years (Mellowbatz on IG), and own a 18+ NSFW discord server, “SlutCult”. So that’s also pretty cool too. I feel almost indebted to the Findom, Goth and BDSM community for supporting my dreams. I’m still small, lots to improve on but optimistic on what my capabilities are in regards to my own contribution towards the locals.

(I’m open to mutuals, you don’t have to pay to chat with me. In spite of that, sub that are interested in serving me, my initial tribute is $20. I’m a busy woman so I expect something transactional to catch my attention.)

Anyways, since I’m juggling so many things so early, making so many securities, a lot of people acknowledge it but never really understand how much this occupation means to me. I’ve barely started recognizing the emotional attachment I’ve had with this occupation until six months into it. There’s more intricate details between the line of my presentation. They don’t know my storyline of how I swindled to becoming a sensual sadistic fetish goth vampire that glue down their eyebrows and give subs nightmare fuel with my uncanny goth makeup. Nor have I truly exposed this side of me. In an unfiltered and non restricted manner. This is my raw self and attitude through written work.

Findom, Makeup tutorials and Goth Modeling is honestly my biggest passion as I’m entering my twenties and one of the things that orbits around my individuality. Yes, I have other accomplishments like graduating with an English degree and other adult stuff but this is equally important to me.

I plan on possibly running a YouTube channel with my bestfriend in the future but for now, I wanted to dabble in blogs and possibly have this as an online diary. A media that my intended audience can enjoy and for subs to indulge in secrecy.

If you've followed me on my other platforms outside of tumblr, I identify as a Fetish Goth. At some point, I pathetically failed to articulate that I wanted to have more queer/alt mutuals on an Instagram reel which backfired because I realized my interest is NICHE. It’s not well defined and misconstrued to be something else. Therefore, I feel like I have a sense of responsibility to actually elaborate and educate people who actually have an interest in my vision. I see that there’s attentive people that would like to know what I’m deliberately posting about.

General Explanation About Fetish Goths:

Fetish goth is a style blending elements of gothic fashion with BDSM aesthetics, stands out as a striking and provocative form of self-expression within alternative communities. Sensuality can serve as an identity in an individual’s life by their practice, morality or occupation. Sex sells but committing to the bit is taboo. It’s distinct subculture style within the broader landscape of gothic fashion, drawing influences from BDSM culture, punk fashion, and alternative music scenes. It was formed in the progression of goth culture, embracing edgier and more provocative aesthetics, incorporating elements of fetish wear and erotic symbolism into their attire. Generally speaking, it’s the reason why we wear fishnets, chokers and corsets.

The origins of fetish goth can be traced back to the late 20th century, a period marked by profound social and cultural upheaval with pop culture. Pop Culture media loves incorporating it but the average citizen can sneak a few disapproving glances at you. This fashion statement is not only controversial but can be relevant in today’s societal pandemic of purity culture and norms about fashion. A more honorable mention is the arguments about goth only fans models and idiots arguing in my comment section about how i’m a “poser” yet they lip sync to London After Midnight’s “Bondage Song” as a thirst trap on TikTok. This evolution in thought is not merely academic but has had profound social and moral implications. The motives developed through the ongoing media interpretation of said fashion and formed into a more political statement. In recent years, it has continued to germinate and adapt, reflecting changing attitudes towards gender, sexuality, and identity. As society becomes increasingly diverse and inclusive, fetish goths have expanded their ranks to include individuals of all genders, sexual orientations, and cultural backgrounds, encompassing a more fluid and expansive understanding of alternative fashion and subcultural identity.

As punk and gothic subcultures gained momentum in the 1970s and 1980s, a wave of creative experimentation swept through alternative communities, challenging conventional notions of fashion and identity. Inspired by the DIY ethos of punk and the macabre elegance of gothic aesthetics, early fetish goths began to incorporate elements of fetish wear / symbolism into their attire. The 1990s had a rise in electronic music (synth waves) and Fetish style such as PVC, rubber, piercings, leather latex and BDSM bondaged wear in Goth Clubs. This was an imperative step in separating Goth as a distinct subculture that is dissimilar to the post-punk scene it spawned from. Punk fashion had also incorporated elements of bondage and BDSM-wear because it was popularized in the media (Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McLaren’s legendary SEX store in London) but it wasn’t as evident. Most punks were wearing D rings rather than O rings. The difference is O-ring is solely meant for BDSM, it means ownership and customized for humans participating in it; Having a D ring on a collar was catered to dogs. This might be a culture shock to some but chokers are called chokers for a reason.

It was merely drawing inspiration from the dark romanticism of gothic literature, the raw energy of punk rock, and the provocative aesthetics of BDSM. Fetish goths crafted a distinct visual language that defied categorization and pushed the boundaries of traditional fashion. The rise of this look coincided with a broader cultural shift towards alternative lifestyles and underground subcultures. As mainstream media and popular culture began to co-opt elements of gothic and BDSM aesthetics, fetish goths carved out their own niche within the subcultural landscape, embracing DIY ethos and a spirit of creative rebellion. From underground clubs and music festivals to online forums and social media communities, fetish goths found camaraderie and solidarity with like-minded individuals who shared their passion for dark fashion and unconventional beauty.

This is the part that could be upsetting to some but I must admit that it’s necessary to emphasize on how insane some users sound when they blame me as “part of the problem”; that doesn’t make sense. Fetish goth is not porn material, I personally don’t pretend to be goth for money. Not every single fetish goth is meant to be a sex worker, some just like it for the sex appeal and nothing more. As for me? I incorporated it into my findom / online branding and it was my own personal choice. There’s something more important to be addressed about within this context, there was always a fetish component to the subculture. It’s inherited into our characteristics. It doesn’t mean that femme presenting people should be fetishized. No one deserves to be fetishized unless there’s consent. I just need to make it abundantly clear it has been adopted by the goth scene entirely and any article of these clothes can be obtained without going to a sex store. It’s the unspoken reason why goth clubs are 18+ and elder goths were so territorial around baby goths. We have adopted explicit fetish accessories and turned it into street wear, the beloved footwear of big stompy boots also deviated from early goth footwear. While Demonia makes many styles of gothic shoes, their most identifiable boots are characterized by their tall platforms and heavy silver hardware, which can take the form of spikes, O-rings, buckles or chains. Both of these that were originally worn by them are now integrated into casual fashion and have influenced gothic culture. So I’d hate to register people on my page complaining about my fashion niche as hypocritical. ESPECIALLY if they’re in possession of Demonia boots and lip service items, it’s like the call is coming from inside the house. It’s so similar to our modern appearance that people can’t differentiate the two or register that it was the blueprints.

One of the key influences on the development of fetish goth style was the BDSM subculture, which was also a distinct community in the latter half of the 20th century.

BDSM, an acronym for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism, encompasses a wide range of practices and identities centered around consensual power exchange and erotic role-playing, Outside of the biased interpretations it’s classified as "a multidimensional paraphilia of sexuality; (consensual) power interchange in sexual encounters." All of this is safe of course, unlike the stigma, there are plenty of rules and reinforcements because it’s disciplinary between two parties (or more).” Fetish attire actively include leather, latex, corsets, and other fetishistic attire serve as symbols of sexual empowerment and personal expression, challenging societal taboos surrounding sexuality and desire to the public interest. It could simply be served as a temptation and pinpoint what kind of individual a person is by their reaction; "A twofold evolution tended to make the flesh into the root of all evil, shifting the most important moment of transgression from the act itself to the stirrings - so difficult to perceive and formulate - of desire" (Foucault, p. 20), reflects the seductive nature of fetish goth attire.

The main introduction is mainly with O rings chokers, big boots (with O rings, chains or spikes), bondage pants, chains/mail materials, and PVC, a type of latex leather that has a glossy shine, and the alternative version faux leather. This style does more than simply shock or oppose societal norms; it questions the foundations upon which these norms are built. By bringing 'the stirrings of desire' into the open, It critiques the notion that internal desires should be repressed or hidden. Instead, it celebrates these as parts of human identity that should be acknowledged and expressed. The visibility of such attire in public spaces and subcultural gatherings underscores a rejection of the idea that the body and its desires are sources of evil or shame. Furthermore, the very act of displaying what is conventionally concealed operates as a form of resistance against societal controls over the body and sexuality. It embodies a challenge to the 'twofold evolution' where the personal, internal aspects of desire are not only made visible but are also celebrated rather than censured. In doing so, fetish goth fashion not only redefines the aesthetics of desire but also reclaims agency over how desire and the body are perceived and governed.

Philosophy In The Details:

In historical context, particularly within Christian doctrine, this transformation can be seen in the transition from a focus on overt acts of sin to a more introspective examination of one's inner life and temptations. This shift places a greater moral burden on individual thoughts and feelings, which are inherently more subjective and less observable than actions. This introspective turn is deeply aligned with the practice of confession, where the faithful are encouraged not only to repent for their sins but to verbalize their innermost temptations and desires, thus making what is internal and hidden into something spoken and external.

So yes, to an extent there is a transformation of desire when most people start experimenting with it. Western societies have conceptualized sin and morality. This statement reflects a significant shift from viewing sin as merely a matter of wrongful actions (the acts themselves) to a deeper concern with the internal desires and impulses that precede and instigate these actions (the stirrings of desire). Without a doubt, there’s a site of moral scrutiny and social control that resonates strikingly with the aesthetics and expressions within it. Fetish goth attire, with its explicit evocations of the forbidden and the transgressive, challenges this historical moral schema by externalizing and aestheticizing what mainstream culture might deem dark or deviant desires. The provocative nature of fetish goth attire is not just a fashion statement but a form of social commentary. It confronts the viewer with a visual dialogue about the nature of desire, transgression, and the body.

In essence, the provocative freedom of fetish goth attire is a powerful form of cultural critique and resistance, embodying Foucault's observations about the shifts in moral scrutiny from acts to desires. It is more avant garde promoting a more inclusive and accepting approach to the diverse expressions of human sexuality and identity.

Significance In MY Life

However, to me, It’s my lifestyle. Arguably, it's the origins of my alter ego. My wardrobe, which is slowly accumulating more BDSM fetish attire and undergarments. Subs tend to buy my accessories, leather goods, makeup, lingerie and underwear. The exhibitionist in me can’t help but to be promiscuous in material. I personally love receiving attention in tight fitted and licentious displays of my best physical assists. I love it when it’s acknowledged and obsessed when I get complimented by anyone really. There’s just something about it that makes me feel really good inside when I challenge the status quo of “modesty” and “purity”. Makes me perky when I get worshipped for these qualities. Truly and honestly, I write this with my full heavy heart that I feel absolutely empowered. I take pride in being a tease and being spoiled for it. I love taking money and turning people on for wearing sexy clothes. For offending conservatives and being labeled as a lecherous “Jezebel”. It's the sensational urge that dwells within my erotic chimera to make someone choke on their tears when they address me as their Mistress. It’s the shine in my leather boots and in my eyes when I fantasize about a pathetic infatuated slave worshiping me at my toe box. The pleasure within holding someone at the end of the leash and consensually treating the participant as a fetish fashion accessory. Excitement to have a drawer full of subfunded panty just to add on the extra flare of what the distance of a fetish goth can preform. The ability to be thankful everyday because it’s another day to spite someone or give someone a sexual awakening. It’s the principles of my morality and the influences in my judgment as a woman in control of a libido. The confidence I have at this very moment, took many years to build up enough to prevail and rip people limb from limb apart. The guideline of sexual ethics, the philosophy of BDSM. My highest pinnacle of self expression. My own form of sexual liberation and sensuality wrapped in black satin and leather. It’s my redemption for being shamed into conformity. I refuse to surrender something valuable like that again.

This seemingly benign practice of sensuality of discussing desires becomes a profound tool for societal control on my end, influencing not just my own actions but the very desires that motivate an individual. It compliments my personality and if you dare to be technical in astrology, it’s the product of having a scorpio venus. I love the intensity, undying admiration and stubborn loyalty that could be formed in a dynamic bond. Overall, I love garnering eccentric fashion and sexual appeal like Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark. I will say it’s not for everyone, including other goths in the community but this lifestyle was solely the reason as to why I was able to reclaim my power and gain an identity as a fashionista and a findom. I do not sexualize goths, I sexualize myself if that makes sense? The funny thing about the assumption from the public eye is that everyone thinks I'm experienced and “ran through” but I'm still a raging virgin with guilty pleasures and hyperfixation on the topic. Regardless, I hold intense sentimental value in my fashion statement overall.

Originally, I treated this like exposure therapy after my assault and learned all principles before applying it into my life. I hope this perspective offers a critical framework for understanding the acts of rebellion and identity expression in communities, which stand in stark contrast to these norms, showcasing their cultural significance and resistance (and look good doing it). I also wanted to share this to formally specify why I make this such a big deal in my brand. Western societies have historically managed individual desires, particularly through the mechanism of discourse. A form of societal command unique to the West — was established to regulate personal desires captures a pivotal shift in the relationship between individuals and societal norms. This injunction wasn't merely a directive to obey the law; it extended deeply into the private realm, dictating that individuals not only confess to transgressions but also constantly discuss and analyze their desires.

Conclusion

(Relatively speaking as a fetish goth/findom)

Western society compels individuals to transform "every desire into discourse." This requirement to vocalize and scrutinize personal desires allows society to exert control over individuals not just through suppression but through the shaping of thoughts and feelings. Desires, once private, become public and malleable under societal scrutiny. I just personally feel like I’ve always been observed under this pressure before I turned 18 because of the brash gooners that had their brain fried from porn. No matter what I wear, it will never be an invitation but that doesn’t mean people won’t stop eye fucking me. So I interpreted this as my own way of processing and making desires a topic of constant discourse but simultaneously serves as a subtle but powerful form of social control for me. Before I turned into a fleshed out goth girl, I was confronted by this behavior on multiple occasion. If people are going to be weirdos, they might as well pay for my bills.

It operates under the impression of transparency and self-awareness, yet it functions as a mechanism through which society can influence and often dictate acceptable desires and behaviors. In the context of the fetish goth subculture, this societal mandate becomes a site of resistance. By openly embracing and redefining what mainstream culture might consider deviant or taboo, members of this subculture challenge the traditional boundaries set by the historical injunction to regulate desires through discourse. So in conclusion, this is how I live in my truth. Either you hate it, love it or fund it.

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