#to drive this time. bluh.

[intertexts]

good morninnnnnng =__=

[silent-lily]

- But... what would happen if you take off all your inhibitor rings? - Well, nothing good - that's for sure. I'll probably just burn out after a while and collapse. - Huh. Better leave this as a last resort for sure. It's not like there's gonna be such a dire situation you'll need to go all out, right?..

Another doodle thingie for our AU RP. We haven't actually gotten to this moment (yet), but the concept is all thought out.

It kinda spurred out from one question I've been thinking about for a while: how exactly did Gerald give Shadow a soul? How did he create one (if he even did)?

Details under the cut! (because I can't NOT ramble about it)

Yes, I know it's been said numerous times that Shadow has "a soul one like Maria's" and that they're basically literally soulmates. But how exactly did Gerald manage to give him one in the first place?

... After going through Frontiers's story it clicked.

Gerald probably knew at least something about Cyberspace and the Ancients' technology of transforming everything about a person into data.

After all, he conducted numerous researches at the time he's been working on Project Shadow.

So then, an idea for the AU was born.

---

While researching Chaos Emeralds and everything connected to them - now puzzled about how to create a truly living being - Gerald tried seeking answers in Mystic Ruins and nearby.

There, by accident, he found a strange mechanism. A tall tower with a platform, with a gear installed in a panel at the base. It was clearly weathered down by the sands of time and seemed defunct. But when Gerald touched the gear, that actually reawakened the machine mechanism - the tower started glowing blue, emanating a low hum. And then a tall figure appeared before the scientist...

Their name was Mantis. A being from an ancient civilization known to be long gone from this world. The last guardian of one of the passageways to distant islands where something terrifying and dangerous has been shut away a long, long time ago. They've been dead for centuries - and yet all their memories, feelings, emotions, their everything was still here, right in this peculiar piece of machinery.

Gerald had to know how this was possible.

Mantis could share the knowledge with him - but only on one condition: that the scientist would keep this just to himself and use it only and only for good. And then, they told Gerald what they knew about Cyberspace...

But one problem remained: how can you just create a soul? You had to have at least something for a base here. And not just any person's data would suffice - though, Gerald had a thought about copying some of it from his beloved granddaughter Maria (her kindness and compassion for sure). It would probably take time to find someone truly fitting.

... But what if not?

Risking it, Gerald proposed to Mantis that he'd take their soul to create a new life. A noble, dedicated warrior that used to protect their kind from any danger - that way they could continue on with their duty and also have a chance to see the world as it was nowadays.

Mantis was silent for a bit - then agreed. But added:

Only if you destroy these Gates. You'll have to fully extract all of me from the system - and after that, nobody will be here to guard them. And they can't just be left like that.

An easy thing to do - and not so at the same time. It always hurts a scientist to destroy something of a great significance. But alas, Gerald had to comply.

He did it after he took all of Mantis' data from the machine. And then returned to The ARK, already thinking about how his new creation was finally coming together as intended after all the brainstorming, searching and testing. Now only to hide some things from Black Doom and the government...

---

So yeah, tl;dr Shadow's soul is actually that of one of the Ancients (albeit modified, of course). Which (partially) is why he's that powerful in terms of chaos energy and using Chaos Emeralds.

Taking off all his inhibitor rings AND being in superform can cause a major overload for him, knocking him out - but not fully. If the will and the need to fight are strong, it will release Mantis from deep within, and they will take his place in the battle.

But that would be the end for Shadow - he'll just literally burn away, torn apart by the continuous massive chaos energy outburst.

Thankfully, no battles have required such dire measures in the past - and probably won't in the future. Right?.. (haha suuuuure)

Bonus: additional scribble of Mantis as they actually are, not influenced by Shadow's own looks! They're overall very chill with strong sense of duty. Wow, a Sonic OC that's not a mobian... Way to go, me.

[lichfucker]

am I being Responsible by going to bed at 3:30 as opposed to my usual 7 am? you'd think so! but you would be wrong, because I have my alarms set for 6:30 and every fifteen minutes thereafter so I can be on the road before 8 🙃

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[god-of-knk]

Mmm heading to bed.

Gotta drive tomorrow.

[zonotrichia-albicollis]

Weirdest thing about my family is they’re always getting upset about the wrong things.

I’ll be like “Hey I’m sorry if I was being rude earlier, I was having a rough day but I shouldn’t take it out on you like that”

and they’ll be like ??? when were you rude?

But sometimes it’s like “well no one talks about medical stuff around you because they’re still mad at you about that one time last year”

Referring to the time that I drove my baby sister to the doctors office without dad’s explicit permission.

(She’s 21)

(I paid for the appointment)

(Literally what is the problem??)

[aeritus]

Another week, another @tendres-coeurs Winter Wonderland themed thingie, this time i went for Festive Drinks.

Since I learned you shoulnt leave me alone with italian chracters because headcanons will drive me insane, of course I gave them regional typical "festive drinks". So have Cantucci e vin Santo (Tuscany) for Carlo and Vin Brulè for Romeo. Wished i could do mor,e but leaving tomorrow to spend the holidays with my family so! also got buisy with school

(little side note, I know Vin brulè isnt much a typical italian drink, BUT is a thing we drink here in the north during winter season so bluh it fits, specially cause i headcanon Romeo from Veneto so YEAH he gets the wine)

[defira85]

OC Deep Dive Questions

Thank you @adorablebanite for the tag! I think you've tagged nearly everyone in the Gortash fandom so I won't double inflict it on people 🤣

We'll shock absolutely everyone and do Kassara

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

I think I've said before that her greatest fear is being alone - Daddy's plan for her to be the last one left at the end of the world is a fucking nightmare for her. That's his fault by making her a twin though, she's never been alone ever in her life even before Gorty Boy came on the scene

Uncommon fear, hmm... I don't know what constitutes uncommon for Toril and for a Bhaalspawn... there's a vain little piece of her that's terrified that Gortash won't find her attractive one day, that he'll wise up to her being a weirdly unnatural sentient blob of goo made from gore and not, you know, a person and he'll tell her she's disgusting... she got the Bhaalspawn breeding urges wrong and she's terrified of being a bad mother, do either of those count?

Do they have any pet peeves?

She hates cryptic bullshit. Withers is SO lucky Carmela and the rest of the extended party were around to moderate her temper. That's what you get after a decade or more of Sarevok and Sceleritas just mysteriously telling her she'll know what to do in order to resurrect Bhaal without giving her any fucking help in the matter at all. Be frank with her, or shut up

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Soap - old habits die hard but she's always got some sort of rubbing alcohol or hand soap or something to get the worst off her hands. Lube - listen. She's in her late 30s at the time of the game. It's good to have a little help. Moisturiser - again, she's in her late 30s, her skin isn't as bouncy as it was 15 years ago, and that was before she underwent multiple autopsies and flensings at the hands of Kressa.

What do they notice first in a person?

Their pulse

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Oh it's so high. Baby girl was born to relish in pain, her own and other peoples, but now she's older and spent six months on an autopsy table and now she has what the kids call chronic pain and so she's a little slower on the uptake than she used to be. Still a titan though, no matter what Ao says.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

It depends on the situation? If it's an active danger situation, she's fight all the way. If it's an emotional confrontation, you know she's going to burst into angry tears and run away

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

TWINSIES. Sarevok wasn't entirely sure that the ritual that created her in the Throne of Blood was foolproof, so he made a backup, and she got herself a twin brother. She and Heron were inseparable up until they got to the Bhaalist temple in their teens, at which point Sarevok instructed Orin and Sceleritas to immediately separate them and try to drive a wedge between them.

(Spoilers for KTMTB but she does want a big family, desperately. And she gets one, in the end)

What animal represents them best?

I vaguely recall answering this on another meme at some point and saying she was a white tiger, but I also think polar bear. Both big, chunky animals, plenty of fat on them, but you wouldn't question for a moment that they're wildly muscular and incredibly dangerous. Also, not uncommon to see a wild pale white woman covered in blood in the Lower City like a polar bear covered in seal blood running across the tundra

What is a smell they dislike?

Mint. She hates mint

Have they broken any bones?

Defira the Author has a Thing about broken bones (not quite a trigger, but bluh) so I tend to avoid writing them in my fics because they make me. Dizzy and such. But I am fairly certain that Bane broke one of her wing bones in Banehold when she turned up to fight him for Gortash's soul (she's got Ansur's soul, she's a draconic valkyrie at that point)

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Incredibly attractive but wildly unsettling. A smile that's bordering on unhinged at times. A stillness that makes you want to break into a sprint. You can tell you're in the presence of a predator.

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

That's a good question, I never thought about it before, but I'm going to say Night Owl by necessity

What’s a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

She hates mint. She loves vanilla and cherry blossom

Do they have any hobbies?

She really enjoys learning, and she'd probably be a career student if she could. She particularly loves the sciences and even some of her more dense volumes on astrophysics made the mathematician in Gortash bewildered

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

She'd be delighted! To some extent. Bhaalspawn are naturally inclined to avoid too much attention but she was always a diva. She loves having people fawn over her

Do they like to wear jewellery?

Her wedding ring almost never comes off post canon, and lbr she was wearing it constantly in the last few years before the game too (before it was technically a wedding ring). She's a glam bitch and she always did love to dress up so you know she's got entire cabinets full of stolen jewellery from her victims, she mixes and matches for her next gala appearance

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Immaculate handwriting, perfect calligraphy. She can replicate and imitate almost any handwriting she comes across though, she's a natural forger and mimic (well, we SAY natural, but it was drilled into her by repetition)

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Pre-game canon: The urge versus a frustrated sense of yearning for a kind of normalcy that she could never have because that's not what she was made for

Game canon: A bubbling, seething, angry frustration because her body and her impulses scare her! They frustrate her!! What the fuck is her body doing!! As well as a yawning sense of horror and dread as the void in her head where her memories should be begins to look less like a void and more like a gaping chasm with something horrific at the bottom

Post-game canon: That lingering sense of dread and doubt that she has herself under control, far and away outweighed by her blissful delight at the happy ending she found

Do they have a favourite fabric?

I don't think she does actually... I think she likes Gortash's jacket, the texture of it and the smell of it... the way worn-in leather feels when it's been worn for years, and the layers and layers of body odour and sweat (my girl likes his musk, what can I say)

What kind of accent do they have?

I don't actually know what her real voice sounds like - there's so many layers to how she presents herself, the lives she's had to live from her first family to the orphanage to the second family to living on the streets to the Bhaalist temple... she's just a natural mimic, switching herself up to match the environment she's in.

She has a naturally very soft, higher pitched voice. Very girlish. It's another one of those things that makes people underestimate her. After waking up on the nautiloid she has a few months where she's quite husky because she's spent six months having her vocal chords either a) not used or b) being carefully flayed by Kressa to see how fast they regenerate with her titan blood so she sounds a bit more vampish after that. Still very soft spoken though

[mackeralsauce]

'kay gonna rant ab some frustrations (very opinionated) with the cuttletavio community and whatnot. don't like it? move on! more down below:

(TW for mentions of heavy topics and similar. I'm tired of people being uncreative and diluting the ship to 'toxic yaoi yay!!!'. Oh, and mentions of NSFW in passing.)

Oh my fucking god. Can we stop with the boring-ass 'Toxic Old Man Yaoi' bullshit already? It's so overplayed and uncreative.

There's gonna be a lot of people who disagree with my takes in this, and frankly, I don't care! I'm shrimply tired of seeing the same old cycle repeat in this fandom of 'cool big artist or writer ends up making something frankly disgusting with cuttletavio'. I block liberally and whatever so there's your forewarning and whatnot.

Another forewarning is that I am very much autistic and so these issues drive me to this point because I see much more potential in the ship! This is one of my special interests.

Part 1: Toxic Tropes, Abuse, and Everything Inbetween.

Every time I hear about something in this fandom, it's someone making content of Octavio and Craig that involves abuse, homewrecking, non-con, racism, fetishization, or anything else under the shit bucket! Yeah, yeah, people on the internet can have their opinions. It's not inherently bad to represent issues like that, but it's the fact that it is ALWAYS portrayed in a romanticized light! Because let me remind you, this community is for the *ship* between these two characters. Representation of such topics need to be done tastefully. Real people are harmed by shit like that, and spoiler alert! I should fucking know.

There's so much "Craig being racist haha!" jokes from certain groups. That's primarily the fault of the NA translation of Splatoon, but it's still quite irritating. There is much more to his character than just that. Really, is that the ONLY fucking joke you idiots have? Damn. Boring as hell! Not to mention we know from interviews that even nowadays he wished for peace and tries to help any Octarian he comes across... Oh, and I won't name names, but some people just straight up BUTCHER his character. Yuck.

Then there's the portrayal of Octavio. Typically, people outside of the cuttletavio community will end up portraying him as a fascist dictator (gross and wrong). We have the opposite problem here. People straight-up infantilize him, make him woobified, etc. which annoys me quite a bit. I think we forget that, y'know... HE IS A SHOGUN? A COMMANDER? Such a government is going to be militaristic. I'm not saying that he's evil, but making him out to be an innocent 'widdol guy' is just. Eugh. Not to mention this is usually done because of headcanons involving him to be trans. I love Trans Octavio headcanons! But I hate the overfeminization and overtwinkification of him. Let him be strong and trans, is that so hard?

And these topics are the small potatas. My biggest gripe is when people make their ship to be just 'toxic yaoi' and bluh bluh boring. Look, I get it, there's people who eat that slop up. Whatever floats your boat. But holy FUCK the amount of straight-up garbage and romanticization and lack of creativity I see...

Part 2: Missed Potential and Lack of Creativity.

Oh my fucking god. We have this one ship between two queer adults who grow to old age, and you guys can't even let it be healthy? Yes, I get there was war, but it doesn't mean they were fucking toxic when they were dating. Whatever your interpretation is, you don't have to make them cruel, horrible people to each other. Even if your interpretation involves them being morally grey or complex characters, you can make them have flaws without making them abusers.

Let me explain this: Romance is very, very complicated. It's not all sex, and it's not all fluff either. Most interpretations I see of cuttletavio are often 'All or Nothing' on certain factors. The three popular topics people put their stocks in are Angst, Sex, and Fluff. This is expected in fandom, but what bothers me is that so few people actually consider the alternatives, and that its usually ALL of one trait without anything else. Angst for the purpose of just angst doesn't hit, it's just edgy and boring. All smut with no love will wear thin. Tooth-rotting fluff has no substance if you don't even show the platonic side of their relationship. A good romance is oft built on a good friendship. Why not delve into those aspects? If you need them to kiss to tell they're in love, then you're doing it wrong.

Of course, that critique is moreso a small one. Beginner writers can easily fall into those and that's alright. Why it bothers me is because there is such a drought of good content- at least from my scope of view thus far- in cuttletavio. There is potential for greatness (and I am not slacking on trying to showcase this; I am working on my own content in the meantime), but hardly anyone delves into it. Why not explore how they got to know each other? The complexities of their characters? Tropes are alright, but get to a deeper level, and find the human within the idea. Not only that, but explore the world they're in! The circumstances of why they're in war! The politics, the governments, and the cultures of the time. These are old men in a fictional post-apocalyptic society devoid of humans. The inkfish could have evolved culturally in completely different ways! Please, just explore SOMETHING!

Y'wanna know why the whole toxic yaoi shit bothers me so much? Because it lacks creativity. It's overdone. Stale bread. It's like the slop they serve in a school cafeteria. You can get toxic yaoi ANYWHERE! It's such a common, overplayed trope for mlm ships, that you'll never go devoid of it. So why make cuttletavio into it? I haven't seen anything creative enough to excuse it. All i've seen is people committing character assassination and stripping them of any of their intrigue or humanity. It's bland. I'm sick of it.

Conclusion.

I'm too exhausted to write any more of this but yeagh. Just sick of this shit. There is potential to these two old men, both in their youthful and elderly years. Let them make love, war, friendship, and peace. Don't reduce them to poor dollar-a-dime toxic yaoi tropes that have become tired and sloppy from years of poorly written BL and similar.

If you can't write/draw/etc. good romance or sex without making them abusive in ANY way (cheating, non-con, physically, emotionally, etc.) then you need to learn how to write complex characters and complex stories. You can have characters argue without it being abuse. You can have complicated dynamics without all that.

[allbluedepths]

Queue post: figuring some thoughts out for a WIP and came up with the question of “would Shanks want to continue leading the Red Haired Pirates if something happened to Benn?” and, hm…

Do I think he’d continue? Yes, if Luffy and the Strawhats haven’t reached their goal yet (primarily finding the One Piece). I can’t see Shanks backing out before then; neither he or Benn would let him step away from that so far in.

Do I think he’d step away if not for that? Purely in canon? Ehhhhh, debatable? In my personal land of writing them as pretty damn close? Yeah, I think he would. I’m having a hard time thinking of what would happen after that because he feels pretty damn directionless. Bluh.

I entertained the thought of him joining Mihawk, but I’m not sure that dynamic would work out as well if Shanks stopping pirating because of not having Benn. Not because of the pirating itself but because of what that signifying changing in Shanks’ wants and drive. Tbh, this is why I have more than one fic that revolves around Mihawk not being friends per se with Benn, but he does respect him in the sense of how important he is to Shanks.

So tl;dr, no happy answer here, damn. Benn just better not end up in trouble then!

[spraykit]

where is determination from..

determination is one of my ocs for a joke show called BLEP (it was called . uh. cfatab before.. i had to check my google drive to figure that out)

this is the concept art i made for them and other ocs back in uhhh. DECEMBER. theyre nice but can be mean at times. theyre nonbinary. the show theyre from is still a wip . and by that i mean ive only started writing the first episode and i have 0 assets ready AND . i need to rewrite the small amount of script that i DO have because i changed some stuff around since then... bluh. i also need to actually practice stuff before i make a show, probably. PLUYS motivation 💔

TLDR: theyre from BLEP, an unreleased unfinished object show by me

[smileyg0th]

i just want to rant about how much i adore matt maltese. i’ve always listened to him, especially in my childhood cos i grew up hearing some of his music. recently (28th march), i saw him live in detroit. it was genuinely the most magical thing i’ve ever experienced. i’m so grateful that i was able to have my first concert be him. he was a bit late. he got caught in customs at the airport. i waited SO EAGERLY while others performed in place of him for that time. he arrived around 9pm, i genuinely started screaming like a little girl seeing one direction in 2010. genuinely i don’t think i’ve ever sung along to music more carelessly. i didn’t mind my voice cracking or me being off key. i quite literally just belted out all his fucking symphonies he’s created. i’m very selective with my music choices so i didn’t know every single song. i knew most of them though yeah? my mom’s favorite was called “strange time”. my dad knew “kiss me” because it’s a cover of a different song. my sister eagerly recorded it all to show her friends. she was so happy when the songs i taught her started playing, especially the ones she knows from tiktok (i don’t have tiktok so i don’t remember which ones. probably “as the world caves in”). i was so incredibly happy. i was jumping around and dancing and singing without any care. the bass and drums shook the whole place and i LOVED it. me and my mom belted “mother” together and me and my sister danced around on the balcony when “everyone adores you” played. my sister is so sweet. she yelled “I KNOW THIS ONE!!!!1!1!1!1!” every time a song she knew played 😭😭😭😭 /vvvvpos. during the encore i was really sad cos he didn’t end up playing my favorite song (intolewd). i was in the middle of (jokingly) throwing a fit when he started playing it and i SWEAR it was magical. hearing my favorite song live was absolutely a dream come true. there was a disco ball on the ceiling and it lit up during the chorus. i think it’s getting popular on tiktok and that’s why the disco ball lit up. which honestly kind of irks me cos like THATS MY SONG !!! /j. i went home all giddy from the concert. it felt like a dream. i’ve still got a cup from the bar they had there. had the YUMMIEST most SCRUMPTIOUS pineapple juice there bluh 😭🙏 /pos. we got pizza on the way home. it was like a 45 minute drive so i ate it at home. it was like 11:30 when we got home. everyone went to bed. i sat at the table with my messed hair and some random sweater cos i got cold and i ate pizza. was probably the most peaceful moment in my life so far. recently i had a brain scan, like 2 days ago i think. i’m very medically complex and need hospital a lot so when my schizophrenia symptoms got worse i was immediately ordered an mri. i grew up in the hospital and got them regularly until i was 6, but i was always sedated for them. this was my first one that i went through awake. they asked if i wanted to watch a movie during it or listen to music and i INSISTED music. i had a full blown panic attack in there because it was so fucking loud and overwhelming. but guess what!!!! i was listening to matt maltese through a damn stethoscope and that bitch helped me!!!!!!! i, for some reason, thought i was gonna die in there or something so i was shaking like a leaf but i genuinely stopped immediately hearing “krystal.” i don’t know why his music is so therapeutic to me. i got through it and came out halfway through “jupiter”, from the same album as “krystal.” i can’t explain how much matt and his music has helped me through literally everything. i’m sure he’s saved my life SO many times. god i could go on for HOURS about him. i just remembered his song “philadelphia” and OH MY GOD i’m fighting not to rant more about him and that song. i’m gonna stop here. literally nobody is gonna read this giggles

[fernacular]

Theorize away, but since it's never confirmed in canon, any theory about what effect the dragon soul has on Falin other than the feathers is pure headcanon, and for the purposes of this drawing she is aging at a human rate.

Im sorry, this isn't aimed at you, you're just unfortunately the latest in a large string of similar comments about how Falin should actually have a super long lifespan. And I get why, I do, someone's lover dying a long time before the other is sad to think about, and we want Falin and Marcille to have a long and happy life together.

But when the entire theme of this drawing, the driving force behind me making it, was about facing aging and death with dignity and love, and Marcille handling it better than her mother did because of her experiences in the dungeon, and how beautiful an old Falin is after everything she went through...

Well im a little touchy at this point at all the comments implying Falin living an extended lifespan is the superior way for the story to go!

Again, im sorry, it isn't you it's just, bluh

Falin and Marcille do have a long happy life together in this drawing, it's just by human standards, which isn't a bad thing, and Marcille will be okay.

Marcille and Falin, a few decades down the road.

extras:

[dragabond]

Suicidal ideation and depression tw in tags

[lastscreams]

bluh okay

so me and a friend go to this masquerade ball, and while we're just hanging around, I spot (x) in the crowd, what's crazy is we know who the other is immediately but just play pretend. there's some dancing, and very palpable tension as the night goes on, even as we trade partners, some glances at each other that are far from fleeting.

eventually we pair up again, and dance, but our dance takes us to a fairly secluded area outside, almost like an inner garden of sorts. our dance continues until I end up pressed against a wall. we lean in to kiss before realizing that... my glasses over the mask make closing the distance a bit difficult.

I figure once I take the mask off the spell breaks, but (x) doesn't even acknowledge it. we kiss for what seems like hours, our breath hot and heavy against the other's mouth. (x) just can't handle themselves and undoes the slacks I'm wearing, slipping their hand inside (and by that point I am soaked almost through).

they're Really Good, a thumb ghosting over my clit as two fingers slip inside, which is insanely tight but the sharp pain just makes me way hornier. I'm panting against their mouth, not even able to kiss them back. their fingers are thick and long enough that I feel so full.

eventually I get really close to coming but I know that if they take me over the edge those slacks are ruined and I can't go back out looking like THAT. despite on the very precipice, I stop them and explain in clipped words I need it all off.

they strip me bare from the waist down (and steal my panties in the process) and I finally finish all over, their fingers and my legs glistening in the faint moonlight, it's all very romantic.

with one more kiss, they immediately leave, and I'm just standing there dazed and slick. in my haze I call my friend for a towel from the bathroom or something, which they're an angel for getting for me, but they're somehow none the wiser.

after the ball, we're getting ready to leave, when we find out the friend's car broke down and we're basically stranded for the night. my dashing hero comes to us unmasked and asks if we need help. (x) still pretends not to recognize me, the friend accepts the help, and they drive us back to their apartment to stay the night.

we argue a bit over who sleeps where (friend takes the guest room, I end up staying in their room, and (x) takes the couch), and eventually, as im still thinking about them inside me, they appear in my room, and that's when round two starts.

they moan my name feeling how tight I still am, fingers going as deep as they can before pulling out, an agonizingly slow rhythm as they slide in and out, curling just as they're at the hilt. with no kisses to hide my moans, especially as I'm trying to paw at their bulge, I get a phone call from the friend sleeping next door.

(x), the bastard makes me pick it up, and all I can do is bite back moans, promising to explain in the morning. the moment I hang up, they start fingerfucking me like crazy, pressing hard against my clit. i nearly scream when I come this time, and now the sheets are absolutely soaked.

now the real exhibition happens the next morning. somehow I'm talking into going over to them (we're all hanging out in the kitchen), and as my friend's eating breakfast, (x) fingers me from behind, telling the friend how tight and wet I get. and they retell our exploits from the night before too! it's insanely embarrassing but I only get tighter, my hips going crazy against their palm, grinding like my reputation depended on it.

(x) goes from playful teasing to full on praise, telling me how good I am, how sexy I look, and how badly they wanna fuck me hard and good, but only if I'm a good bunny and finish again in front of my friend.

and that's where it ends 🙈🙈🙈

which I do almost immediately because their voice against my ear is like velvet and I'll do anything to hear it again.

oh! but they don't stop when I come, they just keep going until im super sensitive, whining and writhing from the pain but how good it feels (overstim is so much funnnn). they're basically holding me up at that point with one arm because I've turned to jello against the counter.

kinda wanna type out the fantasy I keep coming back to when thinking of (x)

i mean I have a ton, like them coming to see me and really taking their time with me to make sure I actually come for once >_< but there's one that has a bit of an exhibitionist edge to it

[thisisareallymeaningfulurl]

You know what’s the weirdest thing about this breakup? The very first person I knew I wanted to be comforted by when it happened was my last ex. The one I didn’t have a bad breakup with who is still one of my best friends. I want to say it’s because he gets it, because he has dated me and as such knows how I feel better than most. After all, he’s the first one I tell when I have a new crush or a new partner, and he does the same with me. But the more we hang out as friends, the more I just have to face the reality that I never got over him. I’ve joked for years he’d never be over me, but in retrospect it’s a bit hypocritical of me. I still have feelings for my high school friend and this breakup has made that sink in faster than anything else ever could. He’s got a girlfriend, though, so I’d probably best not say anything about it. Besides, I know I need time to heal after this one.